SYSK Live Christmas Spectacular!

This year, Josh and Chuck go live for their annual Christmas Spectacular. Recorded from the Center Stage Theater in Atlanta, pour up some eggnog, light a fire and enjoy this live show with the whole family. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hey, everybody, Uh, what you were about to hear is
our very first live Christmas spectacular. Hey, everybody, Josh is
here too, so yeah, this is a lot of fun. Man.
We did a hometown live Christmas show at the Center
Stage Theater in Atlanta. This was in real time. This
is what last just a few days ago. It was

(00:36):
and it was a great show. We brought the house down,
I think is how they put it. Yeah, man, And
it was cold and rainy, and Atlanta United was playing
in a championship game and people still packed out the
Center Stage. Uh, and that really meant a lot to us.
It was great. It was a Christmas miracle. Frankly. Yeah.
And you're gonna notice something different. We actually used visual

(00:57):
cues in this episode for the time, and we're going
to post those on Facebook. So if you want to
see the pictures that we're talking about, uh in our
different segments, you can go to Facebook check those out.
And we also did a Christmas reading this year of
a contemporary book, which was kind of cool. We did
a reading, uh from a wonderful, wonderful kids book called

(01:19):
Meet the lat Because and it tells the actual real
story of Hanukah and how that came about in a
very fun, childlike way, and it was written by a
man name Alan Silverberg. You can buy that wherever you
buy your books. It's really wonderful. Or you can go
to silver Books dot com that is s I b
e Er books dot com and check out what Alan's

(01:42):
up to. Uh, and it's not just for Jewish families,
like you should just spread the word of Hanukkah to
to all children because it's a really great story. Yeah,
it's a really great book too. So thanks to Allen
and uh, here we go, oh ware, we go. Welcome
to stuff you should know from house to Forks dot com. Hey,

(02:07):
and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark, there's Charles
w Chuck Bryant, Jerry's even out there somewhere, and we
are here live at center stage, Peter and our hometown
in Atlanta, Geogia. We love you too. I just lost

(02:34):
the only gift you've ever given me. That's not true.
By the way, are you going to put it on? Well?
I had it on. I was like, how why am
I hotter than usual? All right? There it is, fit's
perfectly Yeah, I had the Taylor made for it. Nice.
So um, Yeah, we wanted to give you guys some

(02:55):
information because this is a podcast, right. Yes, I'm redoing
the horrible clumsy segue that I did already before we started,
and we're going to talk to you about the history
of aluminium trees. They might have an aluminium tree in here. Okay,
a few people over eighty Do you see that over there?
There is an aluminum tree over here, and chuck, you

(03:17):
get that. Yeah. The story here is is that this
is now belongs to us in my family. This belonged
to Emily's grandmother. She's still with us. She's not here
to night because as you all know, Mary is. How
old is she now? Yes, oh, they're over there. It
was like, that's so weird that that person over there

(03:38):
knows old Mary is and she sounds just like my wife,
who I've been looking at over here, Emily's and that
lady's like, Chucks, a total creep because he's just looking
at me. Emily's throwing your voice, that's what he did.
So she's nine years old. She's still with us, which
is amazing. But that was their tree. And as you
can tell if you're on the side of the stage,

(03:59):
we will describe all these things in greater detail. But
that is an original, I guess from the nineteen fifties
or early sixties. Aluminium tree completes with color wheel there.
I'm sorry. You can see it peaking above the bar.
So it's an aluminum tree, as Chuck said, and the
aluminum trees gather start through the great American process of

(04:23):
idea of intellectual property theft. That's right. There was a
guy from a company called Aluminum Specialties and he was
walking down the street Chicago one day and he stopped.
He saw a tree made out of aluminum, and he
thought was the most amazing thing ever. And then he
looked at the price. He was like, a hundred bucks.
That seems a little steep and it looks a little heavy.
I'll bet I can do better than that. So we

(04:44):
went back to headquarters and he said, look, guy, I
saw a tree made out of wait for it, aluminum.
But it was too heavy, it was too expensive. We
can do better, and an Aluminum Specialty said Gideo, that's right.
And by the way, I heard a bell jingling and
I was looking here, and I was looking there. It's
my hat And I was like, is there someone behind me?

(05:09):
The bell? So everyone the acid is kicking in, it
should be a good show. Uh So I did a
little I know you're the you're the inflation calculator man,
but I did a little calculating. So those original trees
from Chicago that he saw and decided to rip off
in today's dollars were close to nine bucks, what yeah,

(05:33):
eight and eighty five dollars, and so Mr tom Gannon
of Aluminum Specialty, like he said, was like, they're getting
ripped off. And if I think if we can package
these for twenty bucks and we can make them so
that a lady with her little lady arms can pick
them up, that's literally well you didn't say that. This
was said at a marketing strategy meeting though, but it

(05:54):
really was. They were like, well, we need to make
them all in and a box light enough for women
to pick them up off the shelf, right because it's
ninety seven. But they did just that. Yep. Then they
put him in a box and on the box that
said Aluminum for Lasting Beauty, because you know your tree
will rot and die just trying to keep it around
past February. It's going to go up in flames, right

(06:16):
we do. Plus it was the safety tree too, because
it won't go up in flames no matter how long
you keep it around. Yeah, I'm not sure about that.
That thing looks highly flammable to me that one. Yeah,
I'm not gonna test it. I think it just kind
of melt into a pool and then we die from
the fumes. That's what we get. So they set up shop.
They already had a plant in Manitowac, Wisconsin, right there

(06:38):
on the shores, really right there, represent right there on
the shores of Lake Michigan. Uh. During World War Two,
they were building submarines I guess out of aluminum, which
I don't think it's true at all. I had to
beat something more durable than that. Right, Well, I don't
think Aluminum Specialties is making submarines. The town was known

(06:59):
for Oh I told you, I was unprepared. So they
started getting these out the door for twenty bucks. They
had models that were four two, four, six and seven
ft high. Uh, And initially people made fun of them.
They called them tin tannin bombs. Uh. People were mad
when they saw them at first, in nine because they

(07:21):
thought it was gaudy and gross and not a real tree,
not some beautiful what one day be appreciated, appreciated as
like a kitchy beautiful item. Well plus also it was like,
what do you mean an aluminum tree? We just want
tree trees. What are your communist tree? Exactly? I'll try
to take my real tree. Let's say happy holidays to me.

(07:45):
All right, there you go. So the aluminum specialties cookies
were saved by, believe it or not, tire sales people.
So in in Wisconsin in the wintertime, they don't sell
a lot of tires, and so tire store said, well,
we need to make some some bread somehow we gotta
get Christmas presents for our kids. How are we going

(08:07):
to do this? And they heard about these aluminum trees,
and they started setting up in their showrooms. And of course,
the pride of every town is the the tire store
that everyone walks past constantly. But people started walking past
the tire store seeing the aluminum trees in there and said, okay,
they actually are quite beautiful. I want one, And they

(08:27):
started selling them like hot kids. Here's an actual quote.
I wish you could have found out who this person was.
This was someone who worked at Aluminum Treemakers of America.
He said it was a salesman's dream to have this happen.
Suddenly the guy who wouldn't give you the time of
day is your best friend. I think that was actually
a tire store guy. Sure, come on, give me more

(08:48):
aluminium trees. I need them, man, I'm selling them too fast.
So they sold something like, um, I think, ninety thousand
in the first year, is that correct, Chuck? Ye know
they sold over a hundred thousand. They sold forty thousand
in the first month, which is crazy. So within of course, weeks,
because Aluminum Specialty stole it from this other company, other

(09:11):
people started stealing Aluminum Specialties idea in the American way.
They came out with this thing. Within weeks, other people
were selling aluminum trees, and so everybody started having an
aluminum treat. Some of them were more expensive, somewhere were less.
But Aluminum Specialty played it smart. They pointed right down
the middle, and they have like six of the market share,
and even today they're ever gleam product was is like

(09:34):
the most sought after. It's like the Cadillac of aluminum trees.
I guess that doesn't that's that's a terrible analogy, but
you get what I'm saying. I like it, Tires, Cadillacs,
it's all coming around. So some of these companies, because
it's the nineteen fifties, we thought we'd read some of
these names of companies that ripped them off because it's
just so nineteen fifties. Morris Novelties, Holiday Industries, Regal electri ONYX,

(10:00):
hold On Holiday Industry. This is my favorite. Astra Light
lt D. That's a British company. H and As fest
As Farms. It's really sweet. I made up that last one.
This thing just i'd like my nicks itched when you
said that, I'm getting uncomfortable, just like every time I

(10:22):
look over there, I want to take that off of you.
Can I take this off everybody? Yeah, you're gonna literally
come thank you, thank you, little something for you, A
little something I constructed and look it's a nice Mounty Garland.

(10:45):
Thank you everybody, all right. So they started gussie up
their trees a bit. One of these is gussied up
because you see those little pom poms on the end.
That was an addition that they made the later trees
because I guess they just wanted to make them special.
They made them a different I think the pink ones
these days are the most prized ones that you can
buy on eBay. Yeah, one of them sold for like

(11:06):
bucks once. Yeah, that's the appropriate. What can I get
for that one? I don't know. Are you familiar with
the term struggling? Yeah, that tree is struggling. There's a
somewhere in smell Bill there's a ninety eight year old
woman very angry at so you struggle in it. She's

(11:29):
not Snowville. She's down at the the game, the football game.
Oh yeah, she's watching Atlanta United lose. No, I don't
want that to happen everybody. I'm just from Atlanta. I'm
preparing myself. You just turn the crowd on it, I know,
all right. So these things are moving like hotcakes. They

(11:50):
literally sell over a million of these, uh combined. And then,
of course, like every sort of Christmas fad that comes,
it goes, and some people lay the blame at the
feet of none other than Charlie Brown. Yeah, and then
weird like most people think that Charlie Brown did away
with the aluminium Christmas tree because in the Charlie Brown

(12:10):
Christmas Special, um Lucy sends Charlie Brown and lin Us
out to go get a treat the biggest aluminium tree
you can find, preferably pink, right, And so they go
off on this mission and they find some Linus taps
on one and it sounds like he's tapping on a
ship's hole. Um, And Charlie Brown's like, no, no, I'm
not doing this. I'm going with this tree, this little

(12:32):
weird creekly treat a struggling Christmas tree. Um. And Charlie
Brown takes it home and loves it. And it was
like the spirit of Christmas was found in this little
tree and the commercialization of Christmas was personified in the
in the aluminum trees. And some people say that's what
kind of turned the tide, that's right. Other people say
it was just coincidence and it was bound to be

(12:54):
a Christmas pad no matter what. Charlie Brown just kind
of helps push it over the cliff. Charlie Brown as
he does, he's got a lot of blood on his hands.
But also gradually over the years they did come back,
thanks to things like eBay and Etsy uh and people
with extra money in their pockets that want to pay

(13:15):
three thousand dollars for a vintage street people with no kids,
I think. In other words, exactly, but we still have ours,
and and it still looks great despite what Josh says.
Let's give it up for the treat So we made
it to a segment. We made it through one tomorrow.

(13:37):
So uh, it wouldn't be Christmas everybody without a good
Christmas miracle story or three, and we just so happened
to have three of them for you. We had more,
but we found out that a lot of them actually
don't really add up when you start digging into them.
These are legitimate bona fide. The Pope is signed off
on them. Christmas miracles. Okay, hey, everybody, that's that's what

(14:01):
the folks says. Everybody that was irish. I don't even
know what's gonna all right, Miracle number one and this
one's gonna knock your socks off. This was we're going
back in the way back machine further in time. That's
that's that's what powers the way back machiness. Oh yeah, whoa, whoa? Everyone?

(14:33):
Really we went too far? Are you dummies? Were in
like eighteen fifty two dinosaurs? Can you guys say, whoops
in like reverse? That works? It's working all right? All right? Wow,
I've never felt this powerful before. Alright. So there's a

(14:57):
couple named Ed and Julius Stewart. They were making their
way across Arizona on a Christmas Eve going home, and
they stopped to change attire because it got a flat
out in the middle of nowhere near a town called Superior, Arizona.
By the way, I looked up the population, yes, because
you kept saying, you know, it's in the middle of nowhere,
and I was like, yeah, we'll see about that their

(15:18):
population and was about people, and now it's about hundred people.
That's a steep decline person. Yeah, that's they're not going
in the right direction. But even still people, it's not
that many. Plus Arizona is not even a state yet.
It's just basically a bunch of people camping out together

(15:39):
in the desert is what Superior, Arizona was. And this couple, um,
their names were Ed and Julius Stewart. Uh. They were
about ten miles west of Superior when their car got
a flat on Christmas Eve. Oh just wait, just remember
it's Christmas Eve when this happened. So they pull over. Uh,

(16:03):
Ed's fixing the car and his wife is like, well,
I gotta get use the restroom. I guess out here
behind a cactus because there's no one around, and oh
my gosh, there's a hat box laying in the sand
and it's crying. Yes, there was a baby and a

(16:24):
hat box. I know, everyone, but this is a Christmas
miracle story. Don't get too worried. It's a little girl
in there, and she's like, this is weird. There's a
little baby in a hat box, almost pete on it.
They got it cried, uh, and so I think we

(16:46):
should do the right thing and not leave this baby
in the middle of the desert. I'm hoping that it
wasn't even a thought. I'm hoping she didn't even have
that thought. They flipped a coin and decided to take
a little hat box baby. He went Anton sugger on
on the thing. They're like, her baby, call it heads
or tails. Everyone's seen no country for old man. Yeah,

(17:10):
that was what that was referencing. So they pick up
hat box baby. They take hat box baby to a hospital.
You're laughing, but that's what they called this baby in
the news. Hat the hat box babe. Seriously should call
the baby Christmas Eve or just baby Eves. That's a
real name. Oh yeah, sure, you know yeah, yeah, no
one names your kid hat box no hat box baby.

(17:32):
I'm sure somebody saying like a barbershop quartet song too. Yeah,
that's true, you're my hat box baby. So seventeen couples
ended up that wanted a little baby born in a
hat box, and they all apply to adopts little hat

(17:53):
box baby. Seventeen couples. Uh, and this is the party.
Don't get how many showed up too? Why what happened
in between then? And uh that was yesterday. I think
hat box baby fell out of the news a little bit,
you know what I'm saying. And so two really had
what they called stick tutiveness even back then. And of
those two couples, a judge had to be like, you, guys,

(18:15):
thanks for coming. There's some other baby, not from a
hat box that they also found in the desert, right exactly.
I don't want cactus baby, right raised by coyotes. So
in the end they did find one couple and they
named the baby Sharon, my mother in law's name. A

(18:38):
named him after my future mother in law. Little Sharon
Elliott never met her biological parents, because this was the
nineteen thirties when you buried the stuff deep under the
sand and lived a lot your entire life. Not only that,
she didn't know she was the hat box baby until
night nine. Seriously, Yes, she knew of the hat box Baby,

(18:59):
don't we all, But she didn't know she was the
hat box Baby. Did she find out by opening a
hat box and having this weird psychic flashback? All right? Yeah,
she's like, gotta get out, gotta to get out? Was
coyotes after kotes? Is that the end of the story? Oh? No,

(19:19):
The end is she did not meet her parents, which
is very sad. But for the ninet thirties, she went
on to have a career in the aerospace industry, which
was uncommon for a woman at the time. So she
did really well for herself and lived a long and
fruitful life. And she's here tonight. Everybody give it up.
Hat box Baby's gonna fly in on it. That's how

(19:41):
you end a story that was miracle one another one
for you, two of three starting now? All right? We
we actually had five, and we had to cancel two miracles. Yeah,
one because it wasn't that interesting. And I'm just gonna
briefly say, I don't know. There was this one story

(20:05):
about a lady who got lost and buried in the
snow for three days but lived and they found her
and I was like, this is amazing. I did some
more research, uh and apparently it was a suicide attempt
and she lost her arms and legs and then sued
the hospital. And I was like, I think we should
not do this one here. What's the exact opposite of

(20:28):
a miracle? Yeah, it's really bad of a Christmas miracle.
I can't believe you told them that. Actually, I'm proud
of you for stuff you should know. Way, all right,
So where are we going? And we going to uh Korea?
We are We're going to Korea. During the the onset
of the Korean War and the Communist the Communists were

(20:49):
coming down from China into the North Korean, into the
Korean peninsula, sorry, and they were pushing the North Koreans
further and further south. Uh In. A bunch of North
Korean people had assembled at the docks at Hung Nom
and in Hung m there were a lot of people
hanging out, something like a hundred thousands billions plus a

(21:09):
ton of Allied troops being evacuated. There were ships coming
and going and coming and going and getting people out
but they were mostly getting the soldiers out and there
were a lot of civilians standing there stranded. But luckily
for those civilians, there was a captain with one of
the greatest names ever, Leonard LaRue. And Leonard LaRue said, oh,
you're gonna die at the hands of the communists who

(21:30):
are coming down, not on Leonard LaRue's watch. And he
just happened to captain a ship called the S S.
Meredith Victory. And the S S. Meredith Victory was a
large cargo ship, but it was in no way, shape
or form a passenger ship, that's right. And it was
actually weirdly named after Meredith College in North Carolina, where

(21:51):
my niece went to school. It's all full circle. Somehow
this Christmas miracle from Korean nineteen fifty has to do
with Chuck. I tried everybody I like to feel like
I had a hand in it. So they pull up
this SS Meredith Victory. And here's where I got confused,

(22:13):
and Josh was kind of cleared up because in this
research it said that it was only designed to hold
sixty people. Why don't you lower the boom on how
many civilians they ended up fitting on this Leonard LaRue
in one shot fit four thousand people. This was a
shoddy article. Yeah, So I saw that and I was like,

(22:33):
we're gonna have to erase this one because that's obviously
a lie. You can't fit fourteen thousand people on a
sixty person chip. But that was like sixty beds in
the like crew area. It was a large cargo ship. Uh,
wasn't large for fourteen thousand people. They literally stuffed them
in there like sardines. They were all standing like elbow

(22:53):
to elbow. No one could sit, no one could move
on deck, below deck. There was no water, no food,
no heat, no toilets. Yeah. Think about that and fourteen
thousand civilians think Yeah, fourteen thousand civilians from Korea were
packed elbow to elbow in this ship, navigating mine infested

(23:14):
waters for two days at sea. Yeah. I saw a
quote from one of the um one of the dudes
that worked on the ship. What are you all? Most
people dudes that worked on ship ship dudes. Yeah. One
of the crew members years later recounted and he was like,
you know, the Korean people are um somewhat stoic in
their nature, he said, But I couldn't believe even with

(23:35):
that the way they behaved and no one, he said,
it was so orderly. No one fought, no one like jostled.
Everyone just like sort of work together to make this
Christmas miracle happen. So so okay, there are two miracles
that came out of this. So they make land at
gay O j Island on Christmas Day, that's right, And um,

(23:55):
two miracles happened. One over this two day period, under
these very treacherous conditions, not one person died, not one
person was injured. Miracle one. Yeah, you can clap for that. Wait,
please clap. That was that. I got political again. I'm sorry.
That was miracle one. What was miracle to Miracle number

(24:18):
two is they showed up with fourteen thousand and five
people because guess what, five little babies were born everyone
in this little journey. There was a medic on board
that worked with the crew. I found out that didn't
have any training of course, delivering babies, just running around

(24:40):
with a hat box, like just drop it in here
and dropping in here. The hat box is getting kind
of gross after number two, but they lived with it. Oh,
Jerry cut this part out seriously. Make a note. Um, yeah,
five little bit bees were born. Everyone lived, those little

(25:02):
five babies, all right, and they're here tonight everybody. One
of these times, it's gonna come true. Man, wouldn't it
be great? That was miracle two. Miracle three is as
follows starting now. We should have done these in a
different order. Now that I'm seeing what miracle this is.
Does anyone out there like dogs? Same here? What about

(25:28):
miracle dogs? MoMA? All right? Yes, sorry, Oh that's a
Simpsons reference. I know. Okay, you told me never to
acknowledge people from the stage. Oh yeah, this is a
special show. I'm sorry, buddy. I was just doing as

(25:52):
told sir. Alright. So April two thousand six, Aurora, Colorado
woman named Vanda Lunstrom had a heartbreak when her little
pet rat terrier Daisy, got out from her fence. It
didn't come home ever, which is, first of all, it's
a miracle story. Everyone a rat and a terrier. It's

(26:17):
disgusting and that must have been like the ugliest dog
on the plant. That's that's not how that works. We'll
explain it to me later. Let's keep things going. Like
a German bulldog doesn't mean a German Man and a bulldog. Actually,
I don't know, I'm I'm so sure what happens fine
closed doors? So Daisy the rat terrier ran off, and

(26:40):
Vonda Lunstrom said, um, well, I guess that's it for
for me and being happy. She spent months and then
just kind of gave up, resigned herself that she would
never see her dog again, never knew what happened to her,
and just is like, well, my heart is broken. On
Christmas Day of that year, she gets a call, and

(27:01):
this call is from a woman in Knoxville, Tennessee, saying, hey,
guess what. Oh yeah, I got some Knoxville people here. Huh, well,
you prepared to be proud of your town because a
woman from your town found Daisy in Knoxville, Tennessee. She
had made it miles from Aurora, Colorado to Knoxville, Tennessee.

(27:22):
No one has any idea how, and showed up on
this woman in Knoxville, Tennessee's doorstep. Yeah, she said, where
you from, little dog? And she went Colorado. It's pretty good.
It's so dumb. I can't believe I did that. Port
of people. No, she did what you should do, which

(27:44):
is called the little number on the tag, got in touch.
It was a rabies tag, so got in touch with
veterinarian in Colorado. She said, I think I have the
wrong number. This is a weird area code to be
calling for a lost dog in my neighborhood in Knoxville.
And he said, yeah, it is weird. It's in Colorado.
And she said, I got a little rat terrier named Daisy.
And the vet went, what a rat terrier? What are

(28:06):
you talking about. I don't know how you do it
in Tennessee, lady, but uh, right here in Colorado, we
breed dogs with dogs. Oh that's not how we do
it in Tennessee. So he said, I think that we
have a match here there. This is one of my

(28:26):
my my clients. And he called up Vonda and he said,
believe it or not, we think we found Daisy. This
was this dog was missing in April and this was Christmas.
So you do the math. Yeah, I had it not
been Christmas, it would have just been a miracle, not
a Christmas miracle, that's right, right. So they were reunited,
and UM, I guess if we've already told the other

(28:47):
story about the other Christmas miracle, we can kind of
pull the rug out on this one too. Uh, Daisy
was reunited with Vonda, and Daisy got home to find
out that Vonda had replaced Daisy and she had to
share her house with another dog. That must have been
pretty awkward for Daisy, Like finally back home and runs

(29:09):
inside and it's like, oh, this is my spot. You
haven't been here for a while, so let me tell
you what the rules are, Daisy. Yeah, and the dog's
like no, all over that, and I'm about you again.
Is that our last miracle? That was it? That's what
I'm saying. We didn't amount of order? Right, Thanks everybody.

(29:36):
We can tell you guys are the hardcore stuff. You
should know fans because you clapped for that one. So
I don't know if you guys have noticed the theme
or not yet, but we're talking a lot about Christmas.
I've noticed you shifting it. What is Is there a
rhymer reason? They're never just have it? Okay? I thought
you were just that was the first time I've ship
all right, next segments right, wait, now we just graduated

(30:00):
onto the next you know what that side to get
cheated and show him your ball? HeiG, everybody get a
look at a load shouldn't be hearing. So we're we're
talking Christmas, and what would Christmas be without shoving elbows
to the teeth, maybe like a little bit choking. You're like,

(30:23):
oh wait, I can go to jail for that. Over
the must have toy of the season, and we found
out that there were not There was a toy that
spanned not one, but two Christmas seasons. And that toy
spanned the Christmas is of and and his name was
Teddy rux Let's go ahead and remember that little guy

(30:47):
how adorable comes with a cassette in a story book. Yeah,
and you can buy more cassettes and more story books,
and more cassettes and more story books because that's how
they get you, right, That's how they got you with
Teddy Ruxpen. And he was super groundbreaking at the time, right, Um,
Teddy Ruxpan. If you don't know what Teddy Ruxpen is,

(31:10):
he's this guy. But your your kid would put a
cassette in his back and press play with like sticky
little chocolate fingers and um, Teddy Ruxben, here we go. Here.
We don't want to give away the horror that aways
and Teddy Ruxben would come to life and be like, hey,
you're my friend, whether you like it or not. Kid,

(31:32):
And like his eyes would open and close and his
nose would spin and he would start talking. But he
would talk, not just you know, babble or just talk
about his day or something like that. He would talk
and he would tell a story. Right, I was born
in a hat box. Right, he was an amazing bear
that told your kids stories and every kid wanted one.

(31:54):
But there was actually a pretty great story leading up
to it, and it was a Disney imagineer named Ken
Forcey who was the guy who came up with Teddy
Ruxpen and he worked on him for so long that
his original idea was for Teddy Ruxpen to have been
a monkey because he wanted to salute the Space program.
That's how long the guy's been working on Teddy rock Span. So, uh,

(32:15):
I hit a little more research into this guy. Like
you said, he worked at Disney what do they call
themselves mains? Oh wait, I'm sorry. He actually helped design
He was one of the designers on the Haunted Mansion,
So big ups for that best ride ever. And then

(32:36):
if you're a long time at Lantern, you might remember
over at where Philips Areena now is is was the
old Omni CNN and they had the World of Sid
and Marty Croft, which is this weird LSD fueled amusement
park indoor amusement park. And he helped design that too,
which is kind of cool. Yeah. So, uh, like we said,

(32:57):
he worked at Disney, and he was like, I've I've
been to the Hall of Press, and it's why don't
I just take Abraham Lincoln and wrap him in for
cut his head off, wrap him in for and I
think I have a million seller, right, But he works
in it for a while. And the reason it took
him so long is because originally Teddy Ruxman came in
two parts. You had Teddy Rucksman and then you had
a box, a big, clunky, ugly box with sharp edges

(33:20):
and would like catch fire. And this box sent FM
signals to Teddy and then that's how Teddy, with the
receiver in his face, would talk and move his his
mouth literal radio signals. He could not have been more
complicated if he tried, right, So, but also really clumsy
and cumbersome a two piece set. No kid wants to
like set up a receiver and like to like twist

(33:42):
the dials, you know, or they want the hard sharp
box inside the bear, right, But it wasn't really. It
was a huge move when they managed to combine the
two together. And what they figured out was that they
could use one track and a regular cassette tape to
record the story Teddy's voice, and then the other track
they recorded ultra high frequency radio signals that that told
Teddy how to move his face. It was it was

(34:04):
connected to a little motor you know, cassettes recording stereo.
So there's two sides and they just used one to
sign sin the signal to a little uh motor control,
and all of a sudden he could come to life
and haunt your dreams. And with that he took off.
They released him in September and they were sold out
within a month. I think forty three thousand units just overnight. Yeah,

(34:27):
but this guy was thinking big though, Like he was like,
this is not a Teddy Bear. Everyone. He created this
whole backstory and he wanted television shows and movies and
things to accompany this, and it actually worked. He went
into the office and said, oh, he's not a bear.
He's an iliop, which is a species native to the
fantasy world of Grundo and the people he was selling

(34:48):
it to areas can you can you just be a bear?
I don't want to talk about this today. He got
a bear that talks like that. You that's seriously all
you need. He's like, no, no, First of all, he's
wearing a tunic. Bears and wear tunics. Don't be ridiculous.
He's an iliot. So it was a pretty big breakthrough
and in uh Teddy Ruxman started to take off forty
three thousand units in the first month. Yeah, they sold

(35:10):
a million within like the first three or four months.
It was like a hit, so much so that it
spanned six and nine eight seven Christmas. Yeah, and so
much so that he did get two specials out of ABC.
Believe it or not. He he tried HBO and they're like,
that's weird where HBO? But ABC was like sure, why not?

(35:33):
So in November in December of nine eight five, they
had to live action Teddy Ruxman specials about this cute
little iliops from from Grando. Uh. And it came back
over the years. I mean, here's the deal. Parents hated
this thing because because I mean it was like seventy
five bucks back then, which is like a million dollars
to million dollars and these cassettes because the kids are like,

(35:56):
well I married that one, I want to hear the
next one. And they were twelve ninety five a pop
to get the little book in the cassette, and he
was like, oh, I can write stories all day long. Children. Yeah,
in the middle of these stories and be like, hey,
can go tell your parents to go again another cassette,
tell him tell him this, just say what I'm about
to say that you will hold your breath until you

(36:16):
pass out unless you get another cassette today. Okay, all right, okay,
So anyway, and Grundo, it's always lovely out. That's how
he would talk, like there was something wrong with them.
I found a few of these titles too, by the way. Yeah,
there was one called the mush They all had Colon's too.

(36:39):
One was called the mush the Mushroom Forest. You can
be anything you want to be. It's like a Gladwell.
I wonder what was going on there. Oh, yes, there
was one in the early nineties. And this is not
a joke. Everyone grunge music, Colon, tap your feet to
the beat. You lie that serious, you lie because grunge

(37:01):
the most toe tapping this genre of music out there.
And then finally, but also that's a Teddy Ruxmen title.
What did what did he tell the story? I don't know,
A bunch of stage dive in iliops, I guess. And
then finally you know, And Teddy Ruxman came back a

(37:21):
few times over the years. In fact, I think you
can still buy them, Like just a few years ago
there was another company. It was like, sure, we'll buy
the license, we'll take. There was one finally where he
jumped the shark that was called this This is the title,
Teddy Ruxman Visits the Dentist Colin sponsored by Crest. It

(37:44):
wasn't implied that was the title. Anyway, we have to
take a message break everybody. I'm kidding. I was making
a joke about the Crest. Think set down. I do
have my and my Christmas light me Andy's It's authentic everyone.
So Teddy Rucks been he went away. The market got saturated.

(38:07):
There was something called Rapping Rabbit. There was one called
Blabbering Bear, which is just a terrible name. They did
zero market research. That's how fast everybody was getting this stuff.
I would have gotten like that's year's version. Yeah, blabber bear,
not by your own choice. Oh same here, Bud, I
know what you mean. Nights at the Round Table. Yeah,

(38:28):
it looks just like Polo except for a little flag.
Like the kids at school are not going to buy this?
Is that the end of that segment. That's the end
of that. It's going great, it's going not bad. So again,

(38:52):
we're talking Christmas, and what would Christmas be without the
most horrific assemblage of monsters that you ever encountered in
your entire life. Well, if you're scared by this kind
of thing, if you don't like monsters and they make
you uneasy, thank you lucky stars that you were not
raised in Europe, because Europe has the scariest Christmas traditions

(39:13):
of all time ever, and we're gonna tell you about
some of them. Yeah. We we talked about this in
past Christmas specials. How Christmas was um basically go opted
by Christians from weird pagan holidays with horrific beasts and
they're like, hey, let's turn that into the Birth of
Jesus and Christmas is wonderful. What about this angry forest?

(39:33):
Got us three wiseman? That's fine, they're gonna be happy
to get presents. It's fine. So we're gonna start. You
can go ahead and move the slide. Yes, we're gonna start.
An Iceland everyone with the yule Cat. You have to
say it. You have to say it the in the
Icelandic chuck that friendly guy. Yes, in Icelandic it is

(39:57):
uh yo luck. I'm sorry, but say it like the
York please. Oh yeah, hey, that wasn't bad. It was
a good or dude, it's oh so quiet and the

(40:19):
faith of the movement and you got to do that.
She actually records these songs, right, Yeah, there's you can go.
You can go on to YouTube and look up Yola
Kuten and and just just guess how it spelled and
h or icelandic leka. And there's a poem that b
York has sung that they put to music and it's
weird and creepy and perfect. But there's this there's this

(40:42):
this tradition in Iceland that if you are a good
kid and you do all of your chores and your work,
and your parents are hard working too, then you as
a kid will be rewarded with a new piece of
clothing on Christmas. Right, That's what you're looking forward to
as a kid in Iceland like it sucks and you're
happy to have it, because if you don't have new
socks or new shoes or something, the yule cat will

(41:03):
come along and eat you on Christmas Eve. We'll eat
you in your house in front of your family. You
see that kid, he knows. He's like, there's totally a
cat behind me right now. And his friends are going nope,
wearing their new jackets. Members only. We're all good. So

(41:26):
the whole thing is the UK. This goes from a
house to house, and I think Christmas Eve for Christmas
one of the two. I think if you're being eaten
by the ulk, it doesn't matter. Ul cats looking into
the windows like you own new shoes, okay, and you're
awfu limits new apron. I guess it's an article of clothing.
It's just going from house to house, and then the
Yule cat will inevitably find some kid who was lazy

(41:49):
and didn't do their choice so they didn't get a
new a new a new piece of clothing. Pounced tear
rip me ow right, ule cat gets it done. But
there's something really sad about this too. What if what
if you're like a good kid, and you do all
your chores, but your parents are not well off. Well

(42:10):
t s for you. The yule Cat's gonna get you anyway,
because the yule cat doesn't discriminate. The yule cat just
goes by whether you have some clothing or not. He
hates all children. So what's very sweet is if you
read this yule cat poem in the end it says,
hopefully this will have you give a thought children, two
kids who are less fortunate than you, so you can
make sure that they have a new piece of clothing

(42:33):
around the holidays, so they won't get eaten by the
yule cat. Right and if not, the blood is on
your hands, meal, mial, your luck, kudarin. What I love
about all these is it was when you look at
the progression. Christmas softened to the point now where it's like,
well you get cold and you're stocking, And back then

(42:54):
it was like a cat will come and eat you,
eat you in front of your family, because it's all
like good kid, back kid, what are you gonna get?
You're gonna get a president or coal? And back then
it was like will you live or will you die?
It's really amazing, all right, for this next one, we
are going to uh Germany, the home of many horrors,

(43:15):
a lot Germany and Austria which featured this kind woman.
And I guess her band of her soul leaders. Yeah,
clearly this is uh Fraul Perkta. Fraud Perkta was a
witch who would you know, if she thought you were
pretty good, give you some candy. If she thought you

(43:37):
were bad, she would cut your you open and tear
out your guts and stuff you with garbage. That's what
they taught kids. Better not be bad or your guts
are gonna get pulled out and replaced with garbage by
fraud Perkta. Yeah, she would visit over the twelve days
of Christmas because she had a lot of work to do.
I saw one descriptor that she was often described as

(43:59):
having one abnormally large foot called a goose foot. I
haven't heard that one. I don't know it's a good one,
I don't I don't even know what that is. You
got that? You got the goose foot? Did you have
a mishap at the Manny Petty place? So the other
thing is said too, that she would slit their bellies

(44:19):
open and stuff it with straw. And pebbles like garbage,
like garbage, because it also makes you think, like what
kind of garbage like coffee grounds, banana peels or something
or more like she's composting. All right, okay, but I
mean that's that's garbage. Remember you have to turn the
kid every two days exactly, keep it on the sun

(44:39):
so it gets nice and steamy. Maybe put some worms
in there too. Well, she was a forest goddess, so
it makes sense look at her. So for a character, Now,
who you wanted to run into if you're a bad kid. Alright,
he's next Germany again. Yeah, if you were in Germany,
or nowadays, if you're in Pennsylvania Dutch Country, which is

(45:01):
in Pennsylvania, Uh, you might run into a little guy
named Belshnickel. Let's bring up Bellschnickel. Guys like that kid
is not joking around in that photo. This is supposed
to be fun, holiday fun in Germany. I know, it

(45:22):
looks like a hostage situation, like an Olympic games. Like
can you imagine if that guy came in through your
door and was like, no, not your parents, I'm here
to see you come here. Wow. So the thing about
Belshnickel was this Belsh Nickel was like his name means

(45:43):
either like what does it belts in means to wallop
in in German? Uh so he either means like walloping
satan Nick or satan Nick and pelts and first and
if you um, if you ran across bell Stickle. He's
like this old kind of woodsy guy who would show
up a couple of days before Christmas to find out
whether you were naughty or nice. And he would find

(46:05):
out like this, he takes the candy, maybe a few
nuts because again you're like a Pennsylvania Dutch kids, so
like you'll go crazy for a few walnuts. Even he
would throw him on to the ground and he just
wants you like what are you gonna do? And the
kid who went after, like Augustus Gloop or something like that,
just jumped onto the ground after the candy. What he'd

(46:25):
get a switch right to his back, like two days
before Christmas as part of the Christmas tradition. And that's
what bells Nickel was doing. He was there to sort
the naughty kids from the nights. But he's not nearly
as bad as like fraud character or anything like that,
because he would he would take time with the naughty
kids and kind of teach them like, no, that's going

(46:45):
on right there. I think. I think, so this kid's
about to be uh indoctrinated into the Belschnickel way of
doing things. He just showed himself to that just right.
But he would spend time with the kids who were
bad to basically say this is how you do it.
Here's some candy. And he was meant to be a
warning before St. Nick came to say you can still

(47:08):
be good right before Christmas. I think that's a great warning.
Uh let's go to the next slide. That's another picture
of him, just in case you needed some more nightmare fuel,
and then let's go one more Yes if if that

(47:28):
sounded familiar to anyone. There was an episode of The Office.
Everyone knows Dwight Shrude is from Pennsylvania, Dutch Country, and
so he brought the legend of Belschnickel to the Office
in an episode. He's pretty good. Uh So moving along,
We're going to go on over to the Lorraine outside

(47:49):
Lorraine regions of France. Actually this has nothing to do
with any of these except that this was a Christmas
photo from Germany, the home of Belschnik. Alright, let's get
away from that, all right, here we go, So Hans Trupp,
that's Hans trop coming in the window there. Oh it
is okay, so this is nothing. The next slide will

(48:10):
really kind of give you the feeling of what Hans
Chops all about. Hans Chop is a man who was
a rich, wealthy man who decided that he wanted to
eat children. He was that rich and wealthy, and so
he was just going to do it. So he waited
for a kid one day and pounced on him and
took him and cooked him. Got this far, I was
about to eat him, and then God intervened and struck

(48:31):
him down with lightning before he could actually eat the kid.
But wasn't this a true story? Yes, it was a
true story. No, but there was really a guy named
Hans Tropp though, right they I mean, according to legend,
there was a cannibal, Satanist and Christmas enthusiasts, right who
was struck down by lightning by God. Okay, okay, so
Hans trop Um was resurrected as a scarecrow man who

(48:56):
will come through. Let's go through the next one. In
the like around Chris Smith's time to make sure that
kids are behaving so that they are not eaten by him.
That's the yet another threat Christmas in Germany. Everyone right
behind me, Well this is France. Actually, Oh all right,
I took off Germany for a minute. Then I thought

(49:16):
that was Germany. Now, Hans CHOP's my least favorite Christmas figure.
We're gonna stay in France. Everyone with the last one,
let's switch that slide. Not bad comparatively, right, Like, I'll
take this guy any day over the rest of them.
This is how do you pronounce that you're there? The
frenchie here among us? Perfuitad that last that really finishes

(49:44):
it all nicely. Uh. This is the French legend. The
name translates to father Whipper. And there was in another
evil butcher who craved children to eat. This is a
constant theme in euro around Christmas, and if you listened
to Our Grimm's fairy Tales or the Graham's Brothers, it's

(50:05):
a constant theme in children's literature that if you did
not behave you would be eaten by an adult very sweet.
So he created children to eat, and he and his
wife would lure three boys into the butcher shop or
whether they would kill, chop up and salt these children
until St. Nicholas comes to the rescue, resurrecting the boys,

(50:27):
uh and taking custody of the butcher. I love that
he takes custody. He said, you're with me. Now you
work for me. I'm St. Nick. Yeah, and he literally
put him to work. He was not like, you go
to authorities. He was like, coming back to the North Pole,
I got something for you. But it wasn't like, come
on back to the North Pole. I I want you
to start painting checkerboards for the little boys and girls.
It was not I like what I like the cut

(50:48):
of your jib. I want you to come do that
for me. So he would send him out ahead of
time to basically Belge Nickel, all the little kids and
you heard of just do that. Then St. Nick would
come in and be like, oh, hey, at least I'm
not parafu it toard, right, you know, I'm St. Nick
good cop, bad cop. Basically exactly like that, except the

(51:09):
bad cop had no choice in the matter because he
was in the custody of St. Nick. And that's France.
So he needs a drink us too, all right, We
just so happen to have a bar over here, so
we're gonna go to it now. Alright, everybody, we're moving
to the bar. Set gets hold on, Oh thank you.

(51:35):
Chuck's gonna give my thing. I'm going to We're gonna
talk about hot toddies. Is anybody a hot tottie fan?
Thank you? Chi, Well, we're hot toddy fans to Chuck.
Haven't you like not had one before, or you haven't
had one for a while. I feel like I feel
like Emily has made me a hot toddy when I
was sick, because alcoholics like to tell each other that

(51:58):
it's good for a cold when it's really just like,
m I'm sick, but I really still like to drink. Right,
they're like, oh, well this is great for that. Just
put some lemon and honey in it, and you're all sat.
Josh is the bartender. Why don't you walk us through? Uh? Well,
first of all, we should talk a little bit about
where the hot toddy might have come from. So they

(52:20):
actually don't know. Um, they think possibly it came from
Scotland Edinburgh, and in Edinburgh there was a well And
you didn't say that, right, It's right, there was a
well that everybody drew water from and water is like
a big feature of the Hot Toddy. And the well
was called Todd's Well, t o D's Well. And they think, well,

(52:41):
there you go. That's story one. Maybe there's another one.
In India, they drink a medicinal drink called the Toddy
t a r the Toddy and it's made from tree
sat Ye, there's another one. There was a guy named
Roberts Bentley Todd Bentley Todd. He was a doctor and

(53:03):
he would prescribe this stuff constantly, whether you were sick
or not. He'd be like, just drink this. And they
think maybe he was the inventor of the Toddy. No,
I like that one. You like that one? Yeah. The
fourth one that I came across was that it was
invented to make Scotch more palatable to women. And I
think that's probably where the Hot Saddy came up, so

(53:24):
they could sell more scotch basically, and then they came
up with these back stories for it. That's right, So
you're brewing up some water, Uh, what do we have
here tonight? I got a little local ryot looks like
resurgence rye whiskey. Everybody, So if you don't know how
to make a toddy. It's super easy and it's really
actually quite good. This show just took a turn to

(53:51):
the left. But a toddy is just just whiskey of
some sort. Usually it can be Scotch, could be Irish.
It can be Bourbon, were in Bourbon or rye or
something like that. Um, a little sweetener usually honey, some
citrus and then some hot water. That's it. That's it, right,
But depending on where you are in the country there

(54:13):
are variations, of course, when you get geographically specific. Uh,
in New England you might have one made with clam juice.
Just kidding. Now they actually use maple syrup instead of
honey in New England, uh worre else in Ireland they
use potato water. No, just like we really have gotten

(54:36):
into dad joke territory. Couple years some people have pointed
it out and I'm like, my god, that that is
pretty lazy. I'm like Ireland potatoes right right, iris whiskey
There in Scotland they use you and McGregor sweat. Well,
that's that's just heavenly kidding you Scotch and then uh,

(54:57):
William Faulkner actually had a recipe that used bourbon. I
don't have a William Faulkner joke. It's very serious, man.
So tell us what we're doing here, Josh, what do
we got? So I just put I put about an
ounce and a half two ounces of this. This um
jigger doesn't actually say how big it is. But you

(55:18):
want to put one to two ounces in a couple
of tablespoons of honey a bunch of lemon, because you
know that's what makes it. The honey and the lemon
makes it medicinal. Right, that's right, said the alcoholic. I'm
gonna put us talking about me, all right. I was like,
just kid, he doesn't know. I'm gonna put a little

(55:39):
less than a whole lemon in between the two. And
then the kuda gross, which I found out means death blow,
not the final touch. Did you guys know that. I've
been saying cuda gross my whole life, thinking like, oh,
it's the final touch. No, it means to cut off
the head a little bit of water, all right. I

(56:02):
will say this though, uh jokes about alcoholism aside. Here's
another one. There are no there are doctors like Mayo
Clinic doctors that have said there is a little bit
of legitimacy here. The lemon does help, the honey does help. Warm. Look,

(56:22):
I know people are like, yeah whatever. Uh. Warm liquids
help with congestion, they help loosen things up, they help
stimulate your saliva. Uh. They also said there is a
a mental mentally desired effect which is just a nice
warm drink which if you're stressed out around the holidays,
that can help you potty sick. And the booze And
I'm like, are the Mayo Clinic doctors all alcoholics too?

(56:44):
Because this all sounds like enabling speech. They recommend a
little nip three times a day. So how is it?
Have you tried it yet? I know I smelled it.
Oh that's pretty good, is it? Cheers? Happy holidays? Happy holidays?
Everybody you like that? That's nice? Does it need anymore

(57:04):
honey or anything? I'll make it right. I think it's perfect. So, uh, well,
that's our drink. That's a hot toddy and the hot
tottie what only at Christmas and every other show where
there's a bottle of booze on the stage? This is

(57:26):
also delicious. I think we should retire by the fire,
my friends. We are. We're going to take our hot
toddies and we're gonna go over and we're going to read. Well,
we're gonna talk first and then we're gonna read a story. Okay, okay,
seriously this set. I love to have a set like
this at our house. We get one of these, you

(57:46):
me little fake fireplace. I feel like I should be
walking like this during this song tiptoe in so Um.
Has anyone ever really paid attention to the famous Andy
Williams song is the most Wonderful Time of the Year,
usually sung by Johnny Mathis. But if you really pay

(58:07):
attention to the lyrics, he says, there will be scary
ghost stories and tales of the glory of Christmas is
long and long ago. I have totally never noticed that
until you brought me this a week ago. Has anyone
else heard that and been like, what are they talking about?
Like this doesn't even make sense. It does make sense.
You know a little bit about the history of Christmas.

(58:28):
You were very close to your don't be dumb set
right now, and I need a plank right here. You
tell him Josh sent you. Yeah, there's that guy. I
just broke the fifth wall. You think about it, I know.
So the reason why that song says there will be

(58:50):
scary ghost stories. Is that um ghost stories were a
part of um Christmas for eons, for eons, Like remember
we were talking about like Frau perk to h and
Belshnickel and all of them, and how they were kind
of um co opted from pagan lower Um that's where
Christmas originally came from. Was the winter solstice. And at

(59:11):
the winter solstice, the the that's the longest night of
the year, the shortest day of the year, and it
was typically kind of celebrated by the Pagans as the
death of the sun. And then the next day it
was the resurrection of the sun. The sun came back
and and there was a promise of another year. But
on this night, on the night of the winter Solstice,

(59:31):
which usually was around December twenty second, maybe who knows, Um,
the barrier, the veneer between the living and the dead
was the thinnest, and so the dead could kind of
come and go as they please and maybe finish up
some unfinished business that kind of stuff. Maybe, Um, you know,
watch with delight as Belshnickel scared the pants off of

(59:55):
little kids. Whatever you wanted to do, you could do it.
That night. Yeah, there was is a British humorous name Jerome, sorry,
Jerome fuzzy. Oh no, wait, his name is Jerome Jerome
Jerome K Jerome. Yeah, I thought I was reading that wrong.
His name is Jerome Jerome. Good Lord, what is happening?

(01:00:18):
So he sort of explained it around England. Uh, he
said this, whenever five or six English speaking people meet
round the fire on Christmas Eve, they stopped telling each
other ghost stories. Nothing satisfies us on Christmas Eve, but
to hear each other tell authentic antidoes about specters, I
love each other. Jerome K Jerome was a wonderful and

(01:00:41):
delightful chat. That was great. That's exactly how Jerome K
Jerome talked. By the way, specters. There's a very uh,
there's a very rare greeny phonograph of him talking, and
that's exactly what he sounded like. Chuck spen Weeks hearing
this apptually it was lost. I saw a bunch of
photos and he was doing this and all of them it.

(01:01:01):
So it was well known in Victorian England that ghost
stories were part of Christmas. And that actually explains another
weird thing if you step back and think about it,
why there's a bunch of ghosts in Charles Dickens and
Christmas Carol. Yeah, I never really thought about that because
it didn't make sense. I mean, I think it makes
sense just because you're born reading that story and seeing

(01:01:21):
those movies. But when you look back, it doesn't make
any sense that these ghosts are coming on Christmas Eve
because you're in America. Weeks associate ghosts with Halloween exactly.
But in Jolly Old England, the specters come out. He's
going to keep at it until you guys give him
a good laugh. So I just get it over with that,
and there were three or four good laughs in there.

(01:01:42):
I'm with you, all right. So um in a Christmas Carol,
Jacob Marley comes and it's like Scrooge, don't be like me.
He's finishing up unfinished business because he can kind of
cross over to the other side. So that's why ghosts
pop up from time to time and Christmas stories and
Christmas songs. Isn't it delightful? Because it is tradition to

(01:02:05):
tell a ghost story around Christmas, which is why we're
not doing that. We're going to tell a story about
lacas at Hanukkah's right, because we are non traditional. Look
at that. Everyone has anyone read this yet? Do you
have any Jewish friends in the audience? All right, this
is for you, ma'am. So uh. This is a story

(01:02:29):
called Meet the Lacas. Chuck and I just happened to
have the hard bound edition in different editions. Is it's up?
Time down? Thank you, and we're going to read you
the story of the Laca family, which hopefully you will love.
We haven't even practiced this yet, so we'll see how
it goes. Meet the Lacas by Alan Silverberg. All right,

(01:02:52):
let's go forward. Two slides, one more. All right, here
we go. You wanna start off for me, I'll start
all right? Are you gonna do voices and stuff? I
don't know. Let's see how it could. Okay, Meet the
Loca family. They're just like you and me, except their
potato pancakes. That's Lucy Laca and her dog, Apple Sauce, who,

(01:03:18):
despite his name, seems to also be a Laca. So
Lucy says hello, and Apple Sauce says, I gotta say,
we are doing a dog name Apple Sauces. Pretty great.
It's great, but as you'll find, Apple Sauces a bit
of a know it all. You're not. You probably won't

(01:03:38):
like apple sauce by the end of this. All right,
moving on, I'm gonna read the top and I'm gonna
make you read this word. Well. I just happened to
look it up, so I probably get it partially right.
Mama and Papa are busy in the kitchen making fried
jelly dunnut stuft nice. How is that? Man? I'm good

(01:04:02):
at check out? Okay. Right next side Lucy's older brother, Lex,
who apparently was raised on the Teddy Rook's Been Grunge story,
Lex is reading comic books. Get out of my room,
he shouts. Lex as a teenager, he doesn't care about anything.

(01:04:23):
I don't care, but Lex should care because the lips.
Tonight's the night, Lucy sings, she was just turned into
Neil Diamond. It's the first night of Hanukkah. No, it's not,

(01:04:45):
oh right, there's someone else in the lack of family. Yes, Grandpa,
Hi there, Tonight's not Hanukkah. Grandpa says, it's Hanka. That's
what I said. Lucy is confused, as I believe Chuck said.

(01:05:05):
We hadn't run through this yet, Hanka. Can I keep going?
Let me take this one too. Yeah, yeah, did you
really want this one? No, No, that's Grandpa Grimbles say
it with me. Huh huh huh Honeka, look at that, Laka.

(01:05:25):
So this is when apple sauce comes along to clear
things up, right, This is about the time when we
will probably stop liking apple sauce. Actually, both Hanka and
Hanka are right. Holiday's name is Hebrew, everyone, so there
are different ways to spell it and say it in English.

(01:05:46):
I'm a dog named apple Sauce. That was a good
apple sauce. Thanks apple sauce, says Lucy, says Grandpa. They're
still getting ready for Hannock. Everyone, Nika. The Latka family

(01:06:09):
cooks and sings just wonderful. They're singing the Drado song. Everyone,
Oh Dad, old Dad, old Dredel you know the rest. Yeah,
it's very nice. We're singing. Don't worry. And they decorate
the house. Look, they've even decorated apple sauce, Apple sauce, like, actually,

(01:06:31):
this is more bunting than decoration. And he said, here,
apple sauce, eat this. Except for Lex. He still doesn't
care about anything. I still don't care. I could do
Lex all day. I'm trying to decide who the villain
here is? Is it Lex or Apple Sauce? It's Apple sauce,
is it? I love you? Knew? Oh yeah, I've disliked

(01:06:55):
Apple sauces day one. But you're you're kind of a
Lex though at the end of the day, aren't you?
Do you really? I think so? I don't know. I
thought more of a Lucy. I thought you were kind
of a Grandpa. It's kind of happy got Well, yeah,
maybe I identify with Grandpa more sure? Yeah, all right.
So after the Menorah is lit and the drados are
spun and the guilt gets gobbled, Grandpa plops Lucy onto

(01:07:17):
his Latin. Do you want to hear about the miracle
of Hanukah? My little Lucca? And this is the best
part everyone. It tells the true story of Hanaka. It's
not just fun in games, I do, Lucy says, fighting
into her last chocolate coin. That's the guilt. Did someone
just correct my pronunciation of guilt? Grandpa begins with just

(01:07:41):
a whisper. First, you need to know about the bees bees,
Lucy asked. Grandpa nods. Hanaka is a celebration of how
the Jewish temple was saved from destruction. We celebrate this
holiday thanks to the brave bees who buzzed and stung
and fought to keep our people. Say eight, I'm gonna

(01:08:02):
take the despicable Apple Sauce. Okay, I'm pretty sure there
aren't any bees in the history of Hanukkah or Hanukkah fit,
says Grandpa, whose story is this. You're a dog named
Apple Sauce. I'll do that last part in out and
if you guys are falling along, so Lucy's eyes widened.

(01:08:22):
Were the bees, big, Grandpa? Big? They were huge giants,
They were megabees. And then Apple Sauce comes in, You
mean maccabee's, Grandpa says, No, definitely megabees. And the biggest,
bravest of them all was Judah Megabee. That's Judah Maccabee.

(01:08:43):
He was a mighty warrior and a heroic jew who
lived in Israel more than two thousand years ago. And
there were no bees, wolfp But too late, Apple Sauce.
Lucy can see it now, Judah and is swarming or
his warm of giant bees, buzzing and stinging and fighting
to save the Jewish temple and the lines of everyone

(01:09:05):
who worshiped there. And who do you think Judah and
his big bees were battling? Grandpa asked, that's easy. It was.
Oh my goodness, everyone, it's alien potatoes. What's the planet's name? Sure,
thank you planet. I just thought it was a coincidence.

(01:09:28):
I don't understand why he said planet. I'll explain it later.
Zip zip wowie, it's getting too small for my old eyes,
said Grandpa. Grandpa continues, outer space spuds invaded Earth. Laser
shot from their eyes, and they had a lot of eyes.
Everyone was doomed. This is ridiculous, said Apple Sauce, because

(01:09:51):
he's a cynic. Are you kidding me? The enemy wasn't
a bunch of alien potatoes. It was a terrible king
named Antiochus. Well, it is true. Antiochus demanded that everyone
believed in the same religion as he did. Apple Sauce
goes on. So for the Jews, that meant no more
studying the Torah, no more celebrating Shabat, and never again

(01:10:13):
worshiping God. King Antiochus and his followers almost completely destroyed
the Jewish temple. He was a tyrant. Yep, oh, look,
he threw a menorah and hit Apple sauce in the
head and said, yep, yes, a tyrant agrees Grandpa. Judah
and the mega bees were trapped by those evil tater

(01:10:35):
tyrants from planet prisoners in their own high They only
had enough honey to last one day. Running out of honey, No,
they were running out of oil. They needed oil to
keep the temple's eternal flame blowing and burning. And they
weren't bees. Everybody is apple Sauce is gonna find his

(01:10:59):
way to a hat box in the desert. I love
dogs and I hate applesauce. The megabees plotted and schemed,
Grandpa says. And the next morning, when the sun rose
on the temple, an enormous wooden dradle stood in the
village square. What could it be the alien potatoes, all wondered,

(01:11:23):
And why does it buzz? Lucy waves her arms. I
know the megabees were hiding inside the dradle. Lucy was right,
all right, everyone, let's spend a strong smart luck, says Grandpa. Plits,
plats plots. The megabees burst from the draydole and slice

(01:11:45):
and whipped and mashed those tater tyrants into tatoes, tattered
tater tyrants. Lucy asked, try saying that three times. Grandpa says,
tattered tator tyrants, tattered tator tyrants, tattered tatored tyrants. All right,
you all get guilt. It's not bad, everybody. And then,

(01:12:10):
miracle of miracles, Grandpa says, bringing it down a little bit,
Juda Omegabee stood in the middle of all those spoiled spots.
What a waste, he said, And so that great warrior
added some egg and onion and a pinch of flour
to make something good from the bad potato. Lacus us

(01:12:30):
us by apple sauce. Do we have any apple sauce fans? No,
that's great. I love this dropt okay, I got two
people like apple sauce. Lucy's eyes and mouth are wide open.
So the miracle of Hanuka is that a long time
ago Megabeas turned alien potatoes into laccas. Is that really true?

(01:12:56):
Of course it's not true. You go and you keep
it up with apple sauce on the next one. The
miracle of Hanakah or Hanukkah is that not only did
the small group of Maccabee's protect their temple from King
Antiochus found powerful army, but also the tiny bit of

(01:13:18):
oil left to light the holy minora didn't last for
just one day. The oil kept the eternal light right
for eight whole days. That's right, you can applaud that.
That's fine. Lucy points to her families glowing minora, eight
candle holders, eight days of the Hanakah miracle. And then

(01:13:40):
how do you pronounced that? Shamas? Okay? And the Shamas
the tallest candle to light all the others. You know what,
says Grandpa. I like the dog's miracle. Better me too,
says Mama, who we all forgot about me too, says Papa.
The same. I don't care, says Lex. Stuff face with chocolate.

(01:14:01):
Kelt Lex, you left your room, cries Mama. It's another
hank A miracle. And she gives him a hug, squeezing
his his beats by dre clean off of his head.
And that is Meet the Wakas by Alan Sibberberg Silverberg.

(01:14:24):
Do you want to sing? I think we should sing.
You guys want to sing? Okay, We're gonna sing a carol.
We're gonna lead you guys in singing a carol. And
we're not joking, okay, And this is uh, this is
how we're closing the show. Everyone, so thank you for
being here with us. We hope you guys have a
wonderful Christmas time, a wonderful holiday time. Happy Honaka and

(01:14:50):
here we go. Wow, what a performance, Chuck like, you
did great. My friend you did great as well. And
I think this might be a new annual tradition, my friend. Yeah,
that was a lot of fun. We did greetings, we
talked about monsters and miracles. I'm saying a carol together.
There was an amazing set on stage. Yeah, man, it

(01:15:10):
was great. It was a good time had by. Also, uh,
I guess, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, happy holidays, and maybe
the tidings of the season greet you with gladness no
matter who you are or where you are. For more

(01:15:32):
on this and thousands of other topics. Is that how
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