December 16, 2022 • 50 mins
Oya and her grandma, Mrs. Judy, relay their brief brushes with being black and missing.
About Oya:
Oya L Sherrills is a survivor, a lived experience leader in her field, an advocate, and an organizer. Author of "Musings of a Rascal", she works to create a culture where healing practices are centered and valued. Oya likes to pave paths that connect past and future ancestors in efforts to prioritize peace and community-driven solutions that break cycles of violence and address trauma. She's creative, she's a mama, and she's for the trees.
Links:
https://www.kimiyahealing.co.uk/
https://www.blackandmissinginc.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
M content morning. This episode will discuss a lot of
heavy topics such as missing children and kidnappings. Please be
kind to yourself, prepare yourself with before and or after care,
and remember if you are a loved one is going
through it, you can reach out to the National Center
(00:22):
for Missing and Exploited Children at one hundred eight three
five six seven eight. Thank you. Join us to explore
(00:44):
the stories, policies, practices, and ideas do survive this survivals
with your host. Oh yeah, welcome, Welcome, Welcome, good people.
This is your host, Oya el Charells, and this is
(01:04):
episode six of Survivor's Hell. It's entitled I'm Surviving Being Gone.
For this episode, I had the very good fortune to
sit in the dining room with my grandmother in South
Central and we got to discuss an incident that happened
early on in her life that I constantly heard the
(01:29):
story about as a child growing up, and that impacted
my lifestyle and her lifestyle and my mom's lifestyle. So
before we get into the interview, though, I'd like to
discuss a healing resource that is a model for a
(01:50):
dressing intergenerational trauma, and it comes from a website called
Kimmia healing, and so that's Kimmy healing dot c O
dot UK. And you spell that k I m I
y A healing h e A l I n G
(02:11):
dot c O dot UK. And the model that you
have in front of you is three circles. It's an
event diagram, right, And in the first circle, what you
will be doing is listing out your environmental toxins, right,
so the environmental toxicity that you yourself have been exposed to,
(02:36):
so that can be toxicity and nutrition in the air,
any collective crisis and uncertainty. In the second circle, you're
going to list out your ancestral history. Those are the
traumas that are cultural. These are the fear structures that
(02:57):
epigenetic adaptations that are necessary because of any ancestral history
of trauma or violence. You're gonna list that out in
that circle. Right. In the third circle, you're going to
list out any recent life events, so that could be separations, stresses,
explicit or subtle, abused, and of course any violent crimes
(03:21):
that you may have survived. And then at the intersection
of the recent life events and the environmental toxicity, you
are going to find a place to write in any
kind of in utero stress that you experienced, right, and
at the intersection of environmental toxicity and ancestral history, you're
(03:45):
going to write in any kind of birth trauma that
you have experienced. And then where the recent life events
and the ancestral history combines, you're going to write in
in any of your belief systems, and then were they
all three connect? That's where you're going to write your identities.
(04:10):
So what are the ways that you identify? And then
this whole model exists on a plane where on your
left side you have your maternal line trauma, on your
right side you have your paternal line trauma, and then
beneath that you have ancestral trauma. So once you have
(04:34):
listed out all of these kinds of traumas, like the
things that you remember, the things that you were told,
the stories that you know of your maternal line trauma,
the stories that you know of your paternal line trauma,
and then your ancestral trauma as a whole. Once you
list those out, these are things then that you are
(04:56):
bringing into consciousness. You're bringing conscious awareness two. And as
you look at those things and you see how they
impact and connect with the identity of who you are,
you can begin to address and work through some of
the issues that maybe coming up into your life that
(05:18):
you currently are just repeating a cycle of and maybe
unconscious about. So this is a great model coming out
of the UK for addressing again generational intergenerational trauma, right,
And it's perfect for today because I'm going to be
(05:40):
discussing some of that. When my grandmother was a young child, UM,
she heard the story of what she had been through
many times. So in this episode, I asked her to
recount the story. And there's a reason for that, because
(06:00):
my grandmother and I share many traits. Right, there's certain
like kind of moles that we share, and then maybe
even just in the terms of our actual like skin,
there's there's a certain way that our eyes may resemble
one another. But we share many things, and some of
(06:21):
the things that we share our tragic For instance, we
both identify survivors of crime. Um both of us lost
our brothers to gun violence, but also both of us
had incidents where we were took. Now, the majority of
this episode is going to center around my grandmother recounting
(06:45):
what happened to her, but I'd like to just share
that in most of the episodes of Survivors Hill, I'm
discussing issues with folks that I have proximity to, and
this episode is no different because I think back to
(07:06):
a time when I was twelve years old. I was
in the seventh grade. I was on my way to school.
I was late. I was actually wearing my mother's kitten hills.
I remember they were like boots, right, but they were
like kitten hills. And I was specifically dressed very different
(07:27):
than I usually dressed, because I usually at twelve years old,
would not be wearing any kind of hills, right. A
lot of the times I wore like some sneakers that
were like dirty and scuffed. Right. In any case, I
walked to the bus stop that morning, I was going
(07:47):
to a middle school. I was going to Freak Middle
School at the time in Oakland, in East Oakland, and
we were we lived pretty close to what we know
as the host Roll. Right. This street is called International
it's E one four right E fourteen, and we didn't
live too far from it. Like, there's this term, uh
(08:11):
that is sometimes used in the world of human trafficking, right,
it's called pimp proof. I think that I have definitely
used it before and you really have to question, can
anybody really be pimp proof in an industry where it
is connected to and based on human trafficking, And the
(08:36):
short answer is no, because anybody can be taken and
exploited at any time. However, there are moments of grace
that some of us get right and then some of
us don't. So, for instance, I was twelve years old.
(08:56):
I was at a bus stop and there was a
gas station that was located right behind me, and next
thing I know, there was a van that pulled up,
which we always talked about these white vans as children.
(09:17):
We literally used to call these like nondescript white vans,
like rapist vans, right, And we were constantly worried about it.
I know, growing up with my great grandmother, she was
constantly like telling us how we had to watch our
backs and how we had to be careful, and so
(09:37):
I've always felt like a heightened sense of alert. However,
on that day, I was maybe just unaware of what
was really going on, because there was a guy that
kind of just ushered me into this van, just grabbed
(09:57):
me by my shoulders and just pushed me into this van.
In this van, there was one other person one other guy,
and there was another lady, older lady, middle age lady.
And then there was another young girl about my age,
or it looked like she was about my age. So
(10:19):
as we got into this van and they started to
drive away from this gas station, I just remember being
very nervous. Yet I remember like some composure. I started
to tell them like, Hey, I'm going to school right now.
Are you guys going to drop me off at school?
(10:41):
I know I'm late, but I think you guys can
just drop me off right there at at Frick. And
the other little girl that was in the car, she
looked very very scared. She looked very worried, but she
wasn't saying anything. And out of the blue, the older
lady that was in the car too, she just starts
(11:03):
going off like on the two guys and she's telling them, no, no, no, no,
we gotta let her out. We gotta let this one out.
We gotta let her out because I think I know her.
That's so and so people, you gotta let her out.
She says, she's going to school. We're gonna drop her off.
She going to school. Were gonna let her out? And
they did, and I do chalk it up to a
(11:27):
higher power. I do chalk it up to the fact
that you know, I've I've had a semi charm kind
of life. I mean, there's no other reason. Because we
didn't have a lot of family in that area at
the time. So maybe I strongly resembled somebody for this lady.
(11:49):
But just the fact that she thought I was somebody's peoples,
they let me out of the vehicle. They let me
out in front of my middle school, and they kept
on driving. I don't know what happened to the other
young girl who was in that car and who was
clearly had been taken against her will. I went to
(12:13):
the principal's office. I was very shaky. I let them
know what had happened. Uh. They caught my mom and
they asked they asked to keep things on the low.
But I do recall that there was like a flying campaign.
(12:34):
There was flyers all over the neighborhood saying that there
um that there was a vehicle going around abducting young girls.
Needless to say, my mother pulled me out of that school.
So I got lucky, and sometimes luck, sometimes spirit, sometimes
(12:59):
a high air powers all that stands between you and
being trafficked or being um disappeared, you know, taken from
your family, you know, without a trace. Luckily, there are
organizations like Black and Missing, Inc. Who has been doing
(13:21):
a lot of amazing work to bring more attention to
the issue. One of the things that they reported was
that in there were over five hundred thousand persons missing,
and of that five hundred thousand, merely forty of the
missing persons were persons of color, and black folks make
(13:45):
up most of that. Even though we only represent of
the population. While there's thousands of people reported missing every
year in the US, many cases failed to get wide
spread attention. So that's something that we definitely wanted to
address in this podcast. So I have been talking to
(14:10):
folks like Citizens who have made a great model as
well and a great example of the way that everyday
people can get involved in addressing the kind of disparities
that Black and Ink is reporting. However, there's still so
(14:30):
much more we need to know. For instance, like in
there were five hundred thousand people missing, right a good
number of them thirty six percent for black folks were
underneath the age of eighteen. For white folks, sent of
them were underneath the age of eighteen, and for Asian
(14:53):
and Native folks that were reported missing, three percent of
them were underneath the age of eighteen, And so that
can tell us a huge picture, gives us a huge
picture about the number of folks and the number of
young children that go missing every year. Right, So we
have to make sure that we are being vigilant as
(15:14):
possible and that we're coming up with very strategic, very innovative,
very creative ways to make sure that our families are safe.
And at the same time, because there is that factor
of uncertainty, we also just have to make sure that
(15:36):
there are resources to heal and hold. That thought will
be right back after a word from our sponsors. So
(16:00):
I asked you guys just cozy up and listen in
as we here my grandmother to share her story with me.
So how are you doing today? Fine, Well, what would
you tell us a little bit about yourself, like your
name and where you grew up and what year did
(16:25):
this happen where. My name is Judy Ivan Finnikett, and
I grew up in Compton, the city of Compton. But
where it happened it was in l A at a
church and I was three years old at the time.
(16:45):
It was in nineteen fifty nine, and I wanted to
go to church Sunday because it was Easter Sunday. I
wanted to wear my new dress my mother had brought
for me, and I wanted to go to church. But
my mother was sick at the time. My mother was
(17:06):
six months pregnant with my sister Dianne. So she called
her godmother to take me to church. So her God
must say, okay, I come get Judy and take her
to church. So she came and got me, and she
also asked my brother dre Or if he wanted to come,
(17:30):
and he said no, he want to stay home. So
Mama said, okay, just take Judy then, and I said
great because I can wear my new dress. So it
goes to church in l a on Avalon. The name
of the church was Community Peneicastle Church of God in Christ.
(17:55):
I think it's still there, right across the street from
South Park. So we went to church. We was there
and my mother god mother name was Sister McDonald, and
she was getting into the service and I asked her,
I you know, took her dress and shook it and
(18:16):
I said, I need to go to the restaurant, and
she said, well, you gotta go out the back door
and go around and go to the bathroom. You know
where the bathroom is. I said, I don't know. I
think so. I'm three years old, so I had to
go bad and I know my mother said, I bet
(18:39):
not use it all myself. I'm gonna get in trouble,
especially not in my new dress. So I went out
the back door and I was looking around, and of
course three years old, I couldn't read, and I was
looking for the bathroom and I didn't see it. So
I started walking down the street and kept walking. So
(19:02):
I ran into this big church. Back then you would
call that a mega church, but you know, they got
bigger church now, but it still was a big church
to me. It had a lot of stairs. I went
up the stairs and the first person I asked, can
I use this the bathroom? And they said, where's your mother,
(19:22):
little girl? I said, I don't know. They said who
are you here with? I said sister McDonald. They said
where she at? I said, I don't know, and then uh,
the lady said, well, I take you to the bathroom,
and then I'm gonna take you to the pastor so
(19:43):
that he could put you up on the table and
see if sister McDonald or your mother come and get you.
So I'm three years old. I don't know what's going on.
I'm not really paying any intention, you know. So she
took me down, took me to the pastor. The pastor
(20:03):
put me on the offense table and said, the little
girl is that she's lost. And this lady she just
raised her hand. She said, that's my little girl. And
I looked at her all strange because I don't even
know you. But I'm three years old, you know, I
don't know what the same. So she grabbed my hand
(20:26):
and she said, I'm gonna take you home with me.
I said, well, where sister McDonald and she said, no,
it's no more sister McDonald's just gonna be me and
you in pop pap when we get home. So she
took me on. She took me on home with her,
(20:47):
and she gave me ice cream, she made me some food,
and she told me, she said, your name is gonna change.
Your name is no longer Judy, your name is Katherine.
Because she asked me what my name was and I
said Judy, and she said that's not your name. Anymore.
Your name is Katherine. And then she said you're gonna
(21:11):
stay here tonight and I said, well, why, I want
my mommy. Where is my mommy? She said, well, your
mommy is gone, and your daddy and your sisters and brothers,
you know, you don't have them anymore. You have me now.
And I said what, and she said, yeah, you're gonna
be my little girl, and your name is Katherine. In
(21:33):
a couple of days, we're gonna leave from here. We're
gonna go to my home in Louisiana. I said what
because I wasn't understanding her because, like I said, I
was three years old. So then she told me, she said, oh,
you're gonna sleep in this bed because um apparently I
(21:54):
was told that her daughter had recently passed away and
we was around the same age, so she had clothes
in my side. The room was beautiful, fixed for a
little girl, you know, nice bed toys all around. So
(22:15):
I didn't know what was going on really, but I
heard her and Papa arguin. I guess it was arguing
about me because he wanted her to call the police.
I know, he said police, and she said, no, we
leave and we're going to Louisiana. And so I laid
down and I went to sleep. And then the next
(22:38):
day I got up. She combed my hair, she put
some more clothes on me, and she said, you remember
what I told you your name was? I said the Judy.
She said, no, your name is Catherine. That's gonna be
your new name. Then after that she wouldn't let me
(22:59):
out of her side. She watched every little thing that
I did. I remembered that. Then the next day, as
I remember, it was a loud knock on the door
like a baman boom boom boom, and she said, who
is it? And they said this is the police. Open
(23:22):
up the door and she said, what do you want.
They said, you have a little girl and here that
don't belong to you. And she said, oh, it's nobody
here but me my husband, and that's it. Then they
told my mother, said her cousin how to sing Smith
(23:45):
to come and get me with the police. So the
police told how to sing to call me how the
scene said Judy, Judy, And I heard her, But the
kidnapper told me don't say anything if I hear them
called Judy. But I heard her to sing, and I
(24:08):
know her to sing. I know my mother cousin I
we lived across the street from them. I known her
all my life. So when I heard that voice, I said, honey, sing,
honey seen she heard me, and she said she got
(24:29):
my cousin in there, open this door, and the police
just kicked the door down, and I came running out
to her to sing. And that's all I remember. I
can only tell you what my mother and grandmother told me.
What happened afterwards, Well, they told me the lady really
(24:52):
went crazy. She wrote my mother several times beg and
my I don't know how she got the address to
my mama, but she was begging my mom to let
her come and see me because I looked so much
like her little girl that was killed in a car accident.
(25:12):
But my mother said never, never in the Milion years.
That's understandable. So then I guess that the law was
really lenient on her right, like nobody was arrested for
her this incident. I don't know what happened to her.
I know I've never seen her again. I know my
(25:35):
mother and my cousin had a seen said the lady
had ended up in a mental institution for a while.
So I mean, I would love to be able to
uncover maybe some records around this, like you know, if
maybe in the future, if I could write about it,
(25:56):
I could spend some time really like um telling the
story through the records. But I think that this right here,
like having you share this with me. And I remember
also Mama talking about it when I was a little
girl too, so your mother talking about it as well,
you know, like it's invaluable because I do recall, you know,
(26:20):
hearing this story about you know, you being taken as
a little girl and just not really even being able
to imagine like the fear that Mama must have been
going through. And you said she was pregnant at the time. Yeah,
she was six months pregnant and six she was real
sick with the end. Yeah, but you know, the beautiful
(26:45):
thing that you were able to be found because of
family members, you know, really were the ones that jumped
up and investigated and and figure it out what was
going on. Did you remember anybody saying how they found you? Yeah.
When Mama used to tell the story, she said, what
(27:08):
happened was the janitor know that the lady child had
died and he knew that I was not her child,
and he was the one that told the detective what
happened and gave the detective the license number to her car.
(27:31):
And that's how they found me. Other than that, if
nobody had seen it or nobody had said anything, they
wouldn't have never found me because her plan was to
take me to Louisian. Yeah, that, I mean, that's so invaluable,
like hearing that, you know, family, even community rallied around
(27:53):
to make sure that there was at least some information
that they could go off of in order to find you.
But I'm also curious, so who if you remember, if
anybody ever shared this with you, who first reported you missing? Well,
what happened. Sister McDonald was calling me and she didn't
(28:17):
see me, and she was looking for me. So then
the church members, I guess, they started looking for me.
The pastor of Community Church of God and Christ, they
started looking for me and they didn't see me. So
then that's when she called my mom and told my mom,
(28:38):
don't panic, but Judy's missing. We can't find Judy. And
my mom she was, oh my goodness. She was so
upset that she started calling her relatives and at that time,
we had relatives crossed the street next door, around the
corner down the street. We had a lot of relatives
(29:01):
around us, so she was calling everybody to let them
know that they couldn't find me. So that, I mean,
that had to have been such a very like heartbreaking
experience for a mother to have to you know here
(29:21):
that you know, you sent your child to church and
now that child is missing. But do you know where
the link between the two churches came in because you
were saying you walked down the street to a whole
another church. Yeah, what I did. I walked to the
(29:42):
corner of the church and I made a left on
the corner. I kept walking straight and it's a big
church on the corner, big white church with big stairs
going up. That was a church which did I went to.
I probably can find that church today and show you
(30:04):
that church. That would be a nice little filter trip.
But do you remember anybody talking about the details of
how the detectives even knew to go to that church
to ask or it was a janitor at the Church
of God in Christ. No, he was at the other church,
(30:26):
the big church. I really don't know how they found
that up. Well, I mean, the whole incident is remarkable
on a few levels. The fact that you showed up
there on the pulpit, you know, in front of a
woman who had lost her child, and you looked like
(30:49):
her child. And Laura knows whether or not she was
like praying, you know, for her child to come back,
and then here you show up, and in that moment
win of temptation, you know, she takes the bait literally
and she tries to get out of town with you.
But community and family rally together and they acted quickly,
(31:14):
you know, the law enforcement that was a part of that.
They acted quickly. They checked their sources, they actually questioned people,
and they actually followed up with leads and they were
able to find out where you were. And one thing
for sure is that your cousin heard a scene. Must
have been on their butts, because there's no way that
(31:35):
she would have been out there, you know, with them
if not, you know, oh, yes she was. Yes, she
was a firecracker. I mean she demanded it. She wanted
me found right now. That's what my mother took me.
And like I said, in Compton, when we lived in Compton,
(31:57):
when I was a small chad, we had cousins live
across the street, cousins down the street. I mean, just
cousins all around us, and they wanted the police to
hurry up and find me. But they was out at
the church looking for me too. You know, they were
there at the church looking for me. So it wasn't
(32:21):
just the police. Do you had family members out there
looking for me too? And I just imagine I don't
know this for a fact, but I imagine that somebody
in the second church where the lady who kidnapped you
was attending that somebody must have, you know, eventually got
word that there was a missing child and put two
(32:44):
and two together. And you know, they might not have
went to police themselves, but once the police stop there,
maybe they did an anonymous table. I don't know. There's
a lot of speculation because you know, you were three
years old, you know, and some of the old of
folks who used to tell this story to us they're
no longer with us. So you know, there's a lot
(33:06):
of research that could be done around this story that
I think would be very interesting to note. So can
I ask, though, UM, do you feel like there was
any I mean other than the story being told? I
know that I feel like we were watched over very closely.
As a result, if you haven't been taken, I would
(33:28):
say that I experienced from my great grandmother, you know,
a very watchful eye. We were not allowed to go
with just anybody anywhere like we you know, we were
you know, there was consequences of this having had happened,
and this story was often told as a I would say, like, um,
(33:50):
a parable to teach us, you know, one, you can't
just be walking off and to you know, you can't
just go anywhere with just anybody, not saying sister McDonald
was just anybody. But that's what happened, is that in
our family we became a lot more you know, vigilant
with the children. But is there are other examples that
(34:14):
you can think of, Even though it was a happy
ending that you were found, are there other examples of
how you being taken affected family life? Yeah? It affected
my mother because she made sure that anywhere we go
that they had to watch us, I mean really watch us.
(34:37):
And she told them, oh, no, she can't go to
the bathroom by herself, you have to go with her.
They couldn't leave us alone for a second. And my
mother didn't let us go with anybody anymore. Very rare.
She had let us go with my auntie or my uncle,
but she told them, under no circumstance instance they can
(35:01):
go anywhere by their self, you have to go right
with them. Yeah, that even hit our generation. So yeah,
I absolutely understand that we're gonna take a short break
to hear from our sponsors. So do you feel like
(35:37):
there are things maybe that you would do differently, you know,
as a result of having had half experience. Maybe it
wasn't as terrifying for you since you were three years old.
I don't know. Maybe, Yeah, it was terrifying to me.
That's why I told each one of my kids, you
(35:58):
watch your kids. Make sure you know where they are
at all times, because if you don't, somebody can take them.
You have to watch your kids. If they got to
go to the bathroom, you go to the bathroom with
them and stand outside that door and wait on them
because you don't know what predator might be out there.
(36:21):
That's right. And do you feel like as you started
to get older though, that you had any kind of
like distrust of people. No, because I really didn't understand
what was going on. I really didn't understand at that age.
I was three years old. I didn't understand it, but
(36:44):
as my mother told the story all my life and
I lived it, I started to realize what she was
really talking about. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense
because you were so young when it happened. And then
the fact that you were found. I mean, whe do
you attribute to having been found? Because there's a lot
(37:06):
of stories, like I was saying in you know, there
was over a hundred thousand youth who um came up missing,
and so these stories don't always end in a happy position.
So is there anything you attribute to your being found,
whether it's a higher power or um? And will it
(37:30):
have to be a higher power because I don't know
how they found me. I don't have a clue, but
they found me, and I'm a living witness, and it happened,
and I never forget it. I used to have dreams
about it for years, but now that I got older,
(37:52):
I stopped dreaming about it. But I still remember it
and I could have been lost forever. But whoever they
are that found me, I thank them. They might be
going now because that was nineteen fifty nine. I'm here,
That's all I can say. Yes, you're here, And the
(38:15):
fact that you were found has created this ripple effect
of my mother, you know, and me and my children.
So I'm definitely grateful, you know, for the power of
the Most High, the power of spirit, but also the
(38:35):
power of family and community, you know, to really come
together and create situations, you know, like when we all
work together, you know, we can actually have a community
that's safer and that can bring more of these kinds
of situations to a close into a conclusion that's you know,
(38:58):
happier in theory. But I really want to thank you
so much for sharing your experience with us, with the audience,
the Survivor's Hill audience, And I want to know if
there are anything that you remember that helped you and
your family hill from this situation. Oh well, my mother
(39:22):
told me, she said, Oh, I'm so glad I got
my baby back. I've never let you good with anybody anymore.
I'm going to keep both from my eyes on you
because I don't know what I would have done if
I lost you. I remember that with my mother told
me when I was three. It's um really can be
(39:47):
a tremendously healing thing for a child to really know
understand how much you know they mean to their parents
and as unfortunate and tragic as that situation was, the
moment that she was able to express that to you,
it's also a part of the happy ending that you
(40:09):
got to walk away with the knowledge that you know
how much your mom cared for you, how much the
community cared for you, how much the family cared for you.
Knowing that you, um, if you were gone, if you
were taken, that you know, everybody would do everything in
their power to make sure that you were found. And
(40:32):
I feel like that can imbuse such a confidence in
a spirit, you know. And if y'all don't know, Miss Judy,
miss Duty, spirit has always been one of strength and confidence,
you know. And it's a beautiful and lovely thing. It's
a delightful thing to be in her presence because she
(40:56):
spreads not funfidence, she spreads that that joy you know,
of of self all around. Um So, is there any
um as the because like I was saying, and we
are where in South Central going a hard South Central,
and we do know that these ice cream trucks, you know,
(41:19):
they'd be in their bag all the time, so you
know they're gonna come in and out the neighborhood about
three or four or five times a day, and here
and so we get we get the whole soundtrack. That's
that's how it goes. You know. That's another thing I remember.
(41:40):
We used to always run to the ice cream truck
as kids, you know, running, you know, trying to be
the first in line to get whatever we can get.
And I remember, even with that kind of thing, you know,
my greatgrandmother being very like, you know, like, yeah, I
wanted to look, wanted to see one in the um,
(42:01):
you know, or just reminding us, you know that we
have to keep an eye on each other too. You know, Oh,
if you're running, if you're running over to the truck,
don't be talking to no strangers. Don't be talking to
those people with somebody. I remember she used to tell
me all the time. It's if somebody tries to, you know,
come and talk to you or you know, or anything like,
(42:24):
you know, make sure that you know, you scream real
loud and you run away. That's kind of oh yeah,
you know so and and part of that was because
of you know, this experience that she had with him,
But it's also about staying vigilant. Was there any final
(42:45):
like kind of words of healing that you want to
share with the audience. Well, healing it is when you
lose something and don't get it back. Then you want
to pray Dick that you can get him the person back.
But if you can't get them back, that's when you
(43:07):
need to be healed. You don't have to be healed
if nothing happened, but when something happened, you want to
pray and hope that you get healed. All right, Well,
really appreciate you. I'm here at Judy's table and we're
gonna go ahead and sign off. Thank you so much
(43:30):
for listening. Listens to everyone. Peace to close. My grandmother
and I represent close calls, stories that could have ended
tragically and yet we survived. However, in the US, children
(43:53):
are reported missing per day. The majority of missing children
are objected by a parent or family member, but for
the minority of those who were abducted by strangers never
see their families again because their lives are took or
their cases go cold. Many cities have old and well
(44:18):
established areas that are known as host rolls streets where
human and sex trafficking are common. Like I mentioned in Oakland,
it's international E won't foe and they're in youth voices.
Dot Live reported that experts estimate that fifty two girls,
(44:44):
many of them under age, lie in the city's International
Boulevard each night. This statistic is a big issue in
Oakland because their sex trafficking near to so many people
who see these young girls in the street and just
drive by them but never do nothing about it. Well,
(45:07):
I want to give you guys a resource. You can
phone in an anonymous tip at five one no two
three eight two three seven three, or you can provide
a survivor services if you call the Bay Area of
Women Against Rape at five one no four three zero twelve.
(45:34):
They particularly have a great model because, for one, they
distinguish between voluntary sex work and survivors of human trafficking. Also,
I mentioned during this episode the work of Black and Missing, Inc.
And they also have a lot of really great resources
(45:56):
and you can reach them at one eight seven seven
in seven b A m f I. That's seven nine
seven two to six three four. Additionally, the California Attorney
General Rob Bonta keeps a missing person's list on their website.
(46:21):
They do caution that before you take any action, you
do contact the listed law enforcement agency or you call
the California Department of Justice using the toll free hotline
at two to two fine. That's one hundred two to
two three four six three. And before I get out
(46:46):
of here, here are tin tips towards healing when a
loved one goes missing. So number one, call in your
family and friends for support. Call on your community. Number
two take action, schedule search, party, distribute fires, post on
(47:08):
social media, post on a public safety app like citizens.
Number three, take care of yourself. Exercise, go, get a
massage or raiky, do something to lift your spirits. Number four.
Speak to a therapist. This could include a grief counselor
(47:32):
or a pair counselor. Number five go offline, get some
peace of mind, clear your mind, take some time away
from social media. Number six don't give up. Take two
stress relieving practices like meditation or build a memorial, build
(47:57):
an altar, order someone member and jewelry, join a prayer group,
or create other memorials that remind you never to give up.
And number seven, don't place blame. Don't get into the
cycle of blaming yourself for blaming loved ones around you.
(48:21):
Number eight. Find new meaning in your life and so
that can mean that you go and volunteer for an
organization that helps find missing people you know, or you
offer your services to uh group that you're missing. Loved
(48:41):
one was very passionate about number nine. Join a support group.
There are others who have survived what you and your
family have survived to reach out and number ten. Be
prepared for whatever outcome. Be open to accept the worst
(49:05):
case scenario, but also be open to the possibility of miracles. Disclaimer.
My views, beliefs, and opinions are my own and do
not necessarily reflect the views of my guests, resource organizations,
(49:27):
or sources shared. You've been listening to Survivor's Hell, Join
us next time for a mini episode. A mother daughter
convo on the Scarlet letter A the Other A thorow
verth Wade A. We get personal and political tune in
(49:58):
last thing. Every day we survive is a new chance
to see killing. Peace to your journey, good people, Asham
M content morning. This episode will discuss a lot of
heavy topics such as missing children and kidnappings. Please be
kind to yourself, prepare yourself with before and or after care,
and remember if you are a loved one is going
through it, you can reach out to the National Center
(00:22):
for Missing and Exploited Children at one hundred eight three
five six seven eight. Thank you. Join us to explore
(00:44):
the stories, policies, practices, and ideas do survive this survivals
with your host. Oh yeah, welcome, Welcome, Welcome, good people.
This is your host, Oya el Charells, and this is
(01:04):
episode six of Survivor's Hell. It's entitled I'm Surviving Being Gone.
For this episode, I had the very good fortune to
sit in the dining room with my grandmother in South
Central and we got to discuss an incident that happened
early on in her life that I constantly heard the
(01:29):
story about as a child growing up, and that impacted
my lifestyle and her lifestyle and my mom's lifestyle. So
before we get into the interview, though, I'd like to
discuss a healing resource that is a model for a
(01:50):
dressing intergenerational trauma, and it comes from a website called
Kimmia healing, and so that's Kimmy healing dot c O
dot UK. And you spell that k I m I
y A healing h e A l I n G
(02:11):
dot c O dot UK. And the model that you
have in front of you is three circles. It's an
event diagram, right, And in the first circle, what you
will be doing is listing out your environmental toxins, right,
so the environmental toxicity that you yourself have been exposed to,
(02:36):
so that can be toxicity and nutrition in the air,
any collective crisis and uncertainty. In the second circle, you're
going to list out your ancestral history. Those are the
traumas that are cultural. These are the fear structures that
(02:57):
epigenetic adaptations that are necessary because of any ancestral history
of trauma or violence. You're gonna list that out in
that circle. Right. In the third circle, you're going to
list out any recent life events, so that could be separations, stresses,
explicit or subtle, abused, and of course any violent crimes
(03:21):
that you may have survived. And then at the intersection
of the recent life events and the environmental toxicity, you
are going to find a place to write in any
kind of in utero stress that you experienced, right, and
at the intersection of environmental toxicity and ancestral history, you're
(03:45):
going to write in any kind of birth trauma that
you have experienced. And then where the recent life events
and the ancestral history combines, you're going to write in
in any of your belief systems, and then were they
all three connect? That's where you're going to write your identities.
(04:10):
So what are the ways that you identify? And then
this whole model exists on a plane where on your
left side you have your maternal line trauma, on your
right side you have your paternal line trauma, and then
beneath that you have ancestral trauma. So once you have
(04:34):
listed out all of these kinds of traumas, like the
things that you remember, the things that you were told,
the stories that you know of your maternal line trauma,
the stories that you know of your paternal line trauma,
and then your ancestral trauma as a whole. Once you
list those out, these are things then that you are
(04:56):
bringing into consciousness. You're bringing conscious awareness two. And as
you look at those things and you see how they
impact and connect with the identity of who you are,
you can begin to address and work through some of
the issues that maybe coming up into your life that
(05:18):
you currently are just repeating a cycle of and maybe
unconscious about. So this is a great model coming out
of the UK for addressing again generational intergenerational trauma, right,
And it's perfect for today because I'm going to be
(05:40):
discussing some of that. When my grandmother was a young child, UM,
she heard the story of what she had been through
many times. So in this episode, I asked her to
recount the story. And there's a reason for that, because
(06:00):
my grandmother and I share many traits. Right, there's certain
like kind of moles that we share, and then maybe
even just in the terms of our actual like skin,
there's there's a certain way that our eyes may resemble
one another. But we share many things, and some of
(06:21):
the things that we share our tragic For instance, we
both identify survivors of crime. Um both of us lost
our brothers to gun violence, but also both of us
had incidents where we were took. Now, the majority of
this episode is going to center around my grandmother recounting
(06:45):
what happened to her, but I'd like to just share
that in most of the episodes of Survivors Hill, I'm
discussing issues with folks that I have proximity to, and
this episode is no different because I think back to
(07:06):
a time when I was twelve years old. I was
in the seventh grade. I was on my way to school.
I was late. I was actually wearing my mother's kitten hills.
I remember they were like boots, right, but they were
like kitten hills. And I was specifically dressed very different
(07:27):
than I usually dressed, because I usually at twelve years old,
would not be wearing any kind of hills, right. A
lot of the times I wore like some sneakers that
were like dirty and scuffed. Right. In any case, I
walked to the bus stop that morning, I was going
(07:47):
to a middle school. I was going to Freak Middle
School at the time in Oakland, in East Oakland, and
we were we lived pretty close to what we know
as the host Roll. Right. This street is called International
it's E one four right E fourteen, and we didn't
live too far from it. Like, there's this term, uh
(08:11):
that is sometimes used in the world of human trafficking, right,
it's called pimp proof. I think that I have definitely
used it before and you really have to question, can
anybody really be pimp proof in an industry where it
is connected to and based on human trafficking, And the
(08:36):
short answer is no, because anybody can be taken and
exploited at any time. However, there are moments of grace
that some of us get right and then some of
us don't. So, for instance, I was twelve years old.
(08:56):
I was at a bus stop and there was a
gas station that was located right behind me, and next
thing I know, there was a van that pulled up,
which we always talked about these white vans as children.
(09:17):
We literally used to call these like nondescript white vans,
like rapist vans, right, And we were constantly worried about it.
I know, growing up with my great grandmother, she was
constantly like telling us how we had to watch our
backs and how we had to be careful, and so
(09:37):
I've always felt like a heightened sense of alert. However,
on that day, I was maybe just unaware of what
was really going on, because there was a guy that
kind of just ushered me into this van, just grabbed
(09:57):
me by my shoulders and just pushed me into this van.
In this van, there was one other person one other guy,
and there was another lady, older lady, middle age lady.
And then there was another young girl about my age,
or it looked like she was about my age. So
(10:19):
as we got into this van and they started to
drive away from this gas station, I just remember being
very nervous. Yet I remember like some composure. I started
to tell them like, Hey, I'm going to school right now.
Are you guys going to drop me off at school?
(10:41):
I know I'm late, but I think you guys can
just drop me off right there at at Frick. And
the other little girl that was in the car, she
looked very very scared. She looked very worried, but she
wasn't saying anything. And out of the blue, the older
lady that was in the car too, she just starts
(11:03):
going off like on the two guys and she's telling them, no, no, no, no,
we gotta let her out. We gotta let this one out.
We gotta let her out because I think I know her.
That's so and so people, you gotta let her out.
She says, she's going to school. We're gonna drop her off.
She going to school. Were gonna let her out? And
they did, and I do chalk it up to a
(11:27):
higher power. I do chalk it up to the fact
that you know, I've I've had a semi charm kind
of life. I mean, there's no other reason. Because we
didn't have a lot of family in that area at
the time. So maybe I strongly resembled somebody for this lady.
(11:49):
But just the fact that she thought I was somebody's peoples,
they let me out of the vehicle. They let me
out in front of my middle school, and they kept
on driving. I don't know what happened to the other
young girl who was in that car and who was
clearly had been taken against her will. I went to
(12:13):
the principal's office. I was very shaky. I let them
know what had happened. Uh. They caught my mom and
they asked they asked to keep things on the low.
But I do recall that there was like a flying campaign.
(12:34):
There was flyers all over the neighborhood saying that there
um that there was a vehicle going around abducting young girls.
Needless to say, my mother pulled me out of that school.
So I got lucky, and sometimes luck, sometimes spirit, sometimes
(12:59):
a high air powers all that stands between you and
being trafficked or being um disappeared, you know, taken from
your family, you know, without a trace. Luckily, there are
organizations like Black and Missing, Inc. Who has been doing
(13:21):
a lot of amazing work to bring more attention to
the issue. One of the things that they reported was
that in there were over five hundred thousand persons missing,
and of that five hundred thousand, merely forty of the
missing persons were persons of color, and black folks make
(13:45):
up most of that. Even though we only represent of
the population. While there's thousands of people reported missing every
year in the US, many cases failed to get wide
spread attention. So that's something that we definitely wanted to
address in this podcast. So I have been talking to
(14:10):
folks like Citizens who have made a great model as
well and a great example of the way that everyday
people can get involved in addressing the kind of disparities
that Black and Ink is reporting. However, there's still so
(14:30):
much more we need to know. For instance, like in
there were five hundred thousand people missing, right a good
number of them thirty six percent for black folks were
underneath the age of eighteen. For white folks, sent of
them were underneath the age of eighteen, and for Asian
(14:53):
and Native folks that were reported missing, three percent of
them were underneath the age of eighteen, And so that
can tell us a huge picture, gives us a huge
picture about the number of folks and the number of
young children that go missing every year. Right, So we
have to make sure that we are being vigilant as
(15:14):
possible and that we're coming up with very strategic, very innovative,
very creative ways to make sure that our families are safe.
And at the same time, because there is that factor
of uncertainty, we also just have to make sure that
(15:36):
there are resources to heal and hold. That thought will
be right back after a word from our sponsors. So
(16:00):
I asked you guys just cozy up and listen in
as we here my grandmother to share her story with me.
So how are you doing today? Fine, Well, what would
you tell us a little bit about yourself, like your
name and where you grew up and what year did
(16:25):
this happen where. My name is Judy Ivan Finnikett, and
I grew up in Compton, the city of Compton. But
where it happened it was in l A at a
church and I was three years old at the time.
(16:45):
It was in nineteen fifty nine, and I wanted to
go to church Sunday because it was Easter Sunday. I
wanted to wear my new dress my mother had brought
for me, and I wanted to go to church. But
my mother was sick at the time. My mother was
(17:06):
six months pregnant with my sister Dianne. So she called
her godmother to take me to church. So her God
must say, okay, I come get Judy and take her
to church. So she came and got me, and she
also asked my brother dre Or if he wanted to come,
(17:30):
and he said no, he want to stay home. So
Mama said, okay, just take Judy then, and I said
great because I can wear my new dress. So it
goes to church in l a on Avalon. The name
of the church was Community Peneicastle Church of God in Christ.
(17:55):
I think it's still there, right across the street from
South Park. So we went to church. We was there
and my mother god mother name was Sister McDonald, and
she was getting into the service and I asked her,
I you know, took her dress and shook it and
(18:16):
I said, I need to go to the restaurant, and
she said, well, you gotta go out the back door
and go around and go to the bathroom. You know
where the bathroom is. I said, I don't know. I
think so. I'm three years old, so I had to
go bad and I know my mother said, I bet
(18:39):
not use it all myself. I'm gonna get in trouble,
especially not in my new dress. So I went out
the back door and I was looking around, and of
course three years old, I couldn't read, and I was
looking for the bathroom and I didn't see it. So
I started walking down the street and kept walking. So
(19:02):
I ran into this big church. Back then you would
call that a mega church, but you know, they got
bigger church now, but it still was a big church
to me. It had a lot of stairs. I went
up the stairs and the first person I asked, can
I use this the bathroom? And they said, where's your mother,
(19:22):
little girl? I said, I don't know. They said who
are you here with? I said sister McDonald. They said
where she at? I said, I don't know, and then uh,
the lady said, well, I take you to the bathroom,
and then I'm gonna take you to the pastor so
(19:43):
that he could put you up on the table and
see if sister McDonald or your mother come and get you.
So I'm three years old. I don't know what's going on.
I'm not really paying any intention, you know. So she
took me down, took me to the pastor. The pastor
(20:03):
put me on the offense table and said, the little
girl is that she's lost. And this lady she just
raised her hand. She said, that's my little girl. And
I looked at her all strange because I don't even
know you. But I'm three years old, you know, I
don't know what the same. So she grabbed my hand
(20:26):
and she said, I'm gonna take you home with me.
I said, well, where sister McDonald and she said, no,
it's no more sister McDonald's just gonna be me and
you in pop pap when we get home. So she
took me on. She took me on home with her,
(20:47):
and she gave me ice cream, she made me some food,
and she told me, she said, your name is gonna change.
Your name is no longer Judy, your name is Katherine.
Because she asked me what my name was and I
said Judy, and she said that's not your name. Anymore.
Your name is Katherine. And then she said you're gonna
(21:11):
stay here tonight and I said, well, why, I want
my mommy. Where is my mommy? She said, well, your
mommy is gone, and your daddy and your sisters and brothers,
you know, you don't have them anymore. You have me now.
And I said what, and she said, yeah, you're gonna
be my little girl, and your name is Katherine. In
(21:33):
a couple of days, we're gonna leave from here. We're
gonna go to my home in Louisiana. I said what
because I wasn't understanding her because, like I said, I
was three years old. So then she told me, she said, oh,
you're gonna sleep in this bed because um apparently I
(21:54):
was told that her daughter had recently passed away and
we was around the same age, so she had clothes
in my side. The room was beautiful, fixed for a
little girl, you know, nice bed toys all around. So
(22:15):
I didn't know what was going on really, but I
heard her and Papa arguin. I guess it was arguing
about me because he wanted her to call the police.
I know, he said police, and she said, no, we
leave and we're going to Louisiana. And so I laid
down and I went to sleep. And then the next
(22:38):
day I got up. She combed my hair, she put
some more clothes on me, and she said, you remember
what I told you your name was? I said the Judy.
She said, no, your name is Catherine. That's gonna be
your new name. Then after that she wouldn't let me
(22:59):
out of her side. She watched every little thing that
I did. I remembered that. Then the next day, as
I remember, it was a loud knock on the door
like a baman boom boom boom, and she said, who
is it? And they said this is the police. Open
(23:22):
up the door and she said, what do you want.
They said, you have a little girl and here that
don't belong to you. And she said, oh, it's nobody
here but me my husband, and that's it. Then they
told my mother, said her cousin how to sing Smith
(23:45):
to come and get me with the police. So the
police told how to sing to call me how the
scene said Judy, Judy, And I heard her, But the
kidnapper told me don't say anything if I hear them
called Judy. But I heard her to sing, and I
(24:08):
know her to sing. I know my mother cousin I
we lived across the street from them. I known her
all my life. So when I heard that voice, I said, honey, sing,
honey seen she heard me, and she said she got
(24:29):
my cousin in there, open this door, and the police
just kicked the door down, and I came running out
to her to sing. And that's all I remember. I
can only tell you what my mother and grandmother told me.
What happened afterwards, Well, they told me the lady really
(24:52):
went crazy. She wrote my mother several times beg and
my I don't know how she got the address to
my mama, but she was begging my mom to let
her come and see me because I looked so much
like her little girl that was killed in a car accident.
(25:12):
But my mother said never, never in the Milion years.
That's understandable. So then I guess that the law was
really lenient on her right, like nobody was arrested for
her this incident. I don't know what happened to her.
I know I've never seen her again. I know my
(25:35):
mother and my cousin had a seen said the lady
had ended up in a mental institution for a while.
So I mean, I would love to be able to
uncover maybe some records around this, like you know, if
maybe in the future, if I could write about it,
(25:56):
I could spend some time really like um telling the
story through the records. But I think that this right here,
like having you share this with me. And I remember
also Mama talking about it when I was a little
girl too, so your mother talking about it as well,
you know, like it's invaluable because I do recall, you know,
(26:20):
hearing this story about you know, you being taken as
a little girl and just not really even being able
to imagine like the fear that Mama must have been
going through. And you said she was pregnant at the time. Yeah,
she was six months pregnant and six she was real
sick with the end. Yeah, but you know, the beautiful
(26:45):
thing that you were able to be found because of
family members, you know, really were the ones that jumped
up and investigated and and figure it out what was
going on. Did you remember anybody saying how they found you? Yeah.
When Mama used to tell the story, she said, what
(27:08):
happened was the janitor know that the lady child had
died and he knew that I was not her child,
and he was the one that told the detective what
happened and gave the detective the license number to her car.
(27:31):
And that's how they found me. Other than that, if
nobody had seen it or nobody had said anything, they
wouldn't have never found me because her plan was to
take me to Louisian. Yeah, that, I mean, that's so invaluable,
like hearing that, you know, family, even community rallied around
(27:53):
to make sure that there was at least some information
that they could go off of in order to find you.
But I'm also curious, so who if you remember, if
anybody ever shared this with you, who first reported you missing? Well,
what happened. Sister McDonald was calling me and she didn't
(28:17):
see me, and she was looking for me. So then
the church members, I guess, they started looking for me.
The pastor of Community Church of God and Christ, they
started looking for me and they didn't see me. So
then that's when she called my mom and told my mom,
(28:38):
don't panic, but Judy's missing. We can't find Judy. And
my mom she was, oh my goodness. She was so
upset that she started calling her relatives and at that time,
we had relatives crossed the street next door, around the
corner down the street. We had a lot of relatives
(29:01):
around us, so she was calling everybody to let them
know that they couldn't find me. So that, I mean,
that had to have been such a very like heartbreaking
experience for a mother to have to you know here
(29:21):
that you know, you sent your child to church and
now that child is missing. But do you know where
the link between the two churches came in because you
were saying you walked down the street to a whole
another church. Yeah, what I did. I walked to the
(29:42):
corner of the church and I made a left on
the corner. I kept walking straight and it's a big
church on the corner, big white church with big stairs
going up. That was a church which did I went to.
I probably can find that church today and show you
(30:04):
that church. That would be a nice little filter trip.
But do you remember anybody talking about the details of
how the detectives even knew to go to that church
to ask or it was a janitor at the Church
of God in Christ. No, he was at the other church,
(30:26):
the big church. I really don't know how they found
that up. Well, I mean, the whole incident is remarkable
on a few levels. The fact that you showed up
there on the pulpit, you know, in front of a
woman who had lost her child, and you looked like
(30:49):
her child. And Laura knows whether or not she was
like praying, you know, for her child to come back,
and then here you show up, and in that moment
win of temptation, you know, she takes the bait literally
and she tries to get out of town with you.
But community and family rally together and they acted quickly,
(31:14):
you know, the law enforcement that was a part of that.
They acted quickly. They checked their sources, they actually questioned people,
and they actually followed up with leads and they were
able to find out where you were. And one thing
for sure is that your cousin heard a scene. Must
have been on their butts, because there's no way that
(31:35):
she would have been out there, you know, with them
if not, you know, oh, yes she was. Yes, she
was a firecracker. I mean she demanded it. She wanted
me found right now. That's what my mother took me.
And like I said, in Compton, when we lived in Compton,
(31:57):
when I was a small chad, we had cousins live
across the street, cousins down the street. I mean, just
cousins all around us, and they wanted the police to
hurry up and find me. But they was out at
the church looking for me too. You know, they were
there at the church looking for me. So it wasn't
(32:21):
just the police. Do you had family members out there
looking for me too? And I just imagine I don't
know this for a fact, but I imagine that somebody
in the second church where the lady who kidnapped you
was attending that somebody must have, you know, eventually got
word that there was a missing child and put two
(32:44):
and two together. And you know, they might not have
went to police themselves, but once the police stop there,
maybe they did an anonymous table. I don't know. There's
a lot of speculation because you know, you were three
years old, you know, and some of the old of
folks who used to tell this story to us they're
no longer with us. So you know, there's a lot
(33:06):
of research that could be done around this story that
I think would be very interesting to note. So can
I ask, though, UM, do you feel like there was
any I mean other than the story being told? I
know that I feel like we were watched over very closely.
As a result, if you haven't been taken, I would
(33:28):
say that I experienced from my great grandmother, you know,
a very watchful eye. We were not allowed to go
with just anybody anywhere like we you know, we were
you know, there was consequences of this having had happened,
and this story was often told as a I would say, like, um,
(33:50):
a parable to teach us, you know, one, you can't
just be walking off and to you know, you can't
just go anywhere with just anybody, not saying sister McDonald
was just anybody. But that's what happened, is that in
our family we became a lot more you know, vigilant
with the children. But is there are other examples that
(34:14):
you can think of, Even though it was a happy
ending that you were found, are there other examples of
how you being taken affected family life? Yeah? It affected
my mother because she made sure that anywhere we go
that they had to watch us, I mean really watch us.
(34:37):
And she told them, oh, no, she can't go to
the bathroom by herself, you have to go with her.
They couldn't leave us alone for a second. And my
mother didn't let us go with anybody anymore. Very rare.
She had let us go with my auntie or my uncle,
but she told them, under no circumstance instance they can
(35:01):
go anywhere by their self, you have to go right
with them. Yeah, that even hit our generation. So yeah,
I absolutely understand that we're gonna take a short break
to hear from our sponsors. So do you feel like
(35:37):
there are things maybe that you would do differently, you know,
as a result of having had half experience. Maybe it
wasn't as terrifying for you since you were three years old.
I don't know. Maybe, Yeah, it was terrifying to me.
That's why I told each one of my kids, you
(35:58):
watch your kids. Make sure you know where they are
at all times, because if you don't, somebody can take them.
You have to watch your kids. If they got to
go to the bathroom, you go to the bathroom with
them and stand outside that door and wait on them
because you don't know what predator might be out there.
(36:21):
That's right. And do you feel like as you started
to get older though, that you had any kind of
like distrust of people. No, because I really didn't understand
what was going on. I really didn't understand at that age.
I was three years old. I didn't understand it, but
(36:44):
as my mother told the story all my life and
I lived it, I started to realize what she was
really talking about. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense
because you were so young when it happened. And then
the fact that you were found. I mean, whe do
you attribute to having been found? Because there's a lot
(37:06):
of stories, like I was saying in you know, there
was over a hundred thousand youth who um came up missing,
and so these stories don't always end in a happy position.
So is there anything you attribute to your being found,
whether it's a higher power or um? And will it
(37:30):
have to be a higher power because I don't know
how they found me. I don't have a clue, but
they found me, and I'm a living witness, and it happened,
and I never forget it. I used to have dreams
about it for years, but now that I got older,
(37:52):
I stopped dreaming about it. But I still remember it
and I could have been lost forever. But whoever they
are that found me, I thank them. They might be
going now because that was nineteen fifty nine. I'm here,
That's all I can say. Yes, you're here, And the
(38:15):
fact that you were found has created this ripple effect
of my mother, you know, and me and my children.
So I'm definitely grateful, you know, for the power of
the Most High, the power of spirit, but also the
(38:35):
power of family and community, you know, to really come
together and create situations, you know, like when we all
work together, you know, we can actually have a community
that's safer and that can bring more of these kinds
of situations to a close into a conclusion that's you know,
(38:58):
happier in theory. But I really want to thank you
so much for sharing your experience with us, with the audience,
the Survivor's Hill audience, And I want to know if
there are anything that you remember that helped you and
your family hill from this situation. Oh well, my mother
(39:22):
told me, she said, Oh, I'm so glad I got
my baby back. I've never let you good with anybody anymore.
I'm going to keep both from my eyes on you
because I don't know what I would have done if
I lost you. I remember that with my mother told
me when I was three. It's um really can be
(39:47):
a tremendously healing thing for a child to really know
understand how much you know they mean to their parents
and as unfortunate and tragic as that situation was, the
moment that she was able to express that to you,
it's also a part of the happy ending that you
(40:09):
got to walk away with the knowledge that you know
how much your mom cared for you, how much the
community cared for you, how much the family cared for you.
Knowing that you, um, if you were gone, if you
were taken, that you know, everybody would do everything in
their power to make sure that you were found. And
(40:32):
I feel like that can imbuse such a confidence in
a spirit, you know. And if y'all don't know, Miss Judy,
miss Duty, spirit has always been one of strength and confidence,
you know. And it's a beautiful and lovely thing. It's
a delightful thing to be in her presence because she
(40:56):
spreads not funfidence, she spreads that that joy you know,
of of self all around. Um So, is there any
um as the because like I was saying, and we
are where in South Central going a hard South Central,
and we do know that these ice cream trucks, you know,
(41:19):
they'd be in their bag all the time, so you
know they're gonna come in and out the neighborhood about
three or four or five times a day, and here
and so we get we get the whole soundtrack. That's
that's how it goes. You know. That's another thing I remember.
(41:40):
We used to always run to the ice cream truck
as kids, you know, running, you know, trying to be
the first in line to get whatever we can get.
And I remember, even with that kind of thing, you know,
my greatgrandmother being very like, you know, like, yeah, I
wanted to look, wanted to see one in the um,
(42:01):
you know, or just reminding us, you know that we
have to keep an eye on each other too. You know, Oh,
if you're running, if you're running over to the truck,
don't be talking to no strangers. Don't be talking to
those people with somebody. I remember she used to tell
me all the time. It's if somebody tries to, you know,
come and talk to you or you know, or anything like,
(42:24):
you know, make sure that you know, you scream real
loud and you run away. That's kind of oh yeah,
you know so and and part of that was because
of you know, this experience that she had with him,
But it's also about staying vigilant. Was there any final
(42:45):
like kind of words of healing that you want to
share with the audience. Well, healing it is when you
lose something and don't get it back. Then you want
to pray Dick that you can get him the person back.
But if you can't get them back, that's when you
(43:07):
need to be healed. You don't have to be healed
if nothing happened, but when something happened, you want to
pray and hope that you get healed. All right, Well,
really appreciate you. I'm here at Judy's table and we're
gonna go ahead and sign off. Thank you so much
(43:30):
for listening. Listens to everyone. Peace to close. My grandmother
and I represent close calls, stories that could have ended
tragically and yet we survived. However, in the US, children
(43:53):
are reported missing per day. The majority of missing children
are objected by a parent or family member, but for
the minority of those who were abducted by strangers never
see their families again because their lives are took or
their cases go cold. Many cities have old and well
(44:18):
established areas that are known as host rolls streets where
human and sex trafficking are common. Like I mentioned in Oakland,
it's international E won't foe and they're in youth voices.
Dot Live reported that experts estimate that fifty two girls,
(44:44):
many of them under age, lie in the city's International
Boulevard each night. This statistic is a big issue in
Oakland because their sex trafficking near to so many people
who see these young girls in the street and just
drive by them but never do nothing about it. Well,
(45:07):
I want to give you guys a resource. You can
phone in an anonymous tip at five one no two
three eight two three seven three, or you can provide
a survivor services if you call the Bay Area of
Women Against Rape at five one no four three zero twelve.
(45:34):
They particularly have a great model because, for one, they
distinguish between voluntary sex work and survivors of human trafficking. Also,
I mentioned during this episode the work of Black and Missing, Inc.
And they also have a lot of really great resources
(45:56):
and you can reach them at one eight seven seven
in seven b A m f I. That's seven nine
seven two to six three four. Additionally, the California Attorney
General Rob Bonta keeps a missing person's list on their website.
(46:21):
They do caution that before you take any action, you
do contact the listed law enforcement agency or you call
the California Department of Justice using the toll free hotline
at two to two fine. That's one hundred two to
two three four six three. And before I get out
(46:46):
of here, here are tin tips towards healing when a
loved one goes missing. So number one, call in your
family and friends for support. Call on your community. Number
two take action, schedule search, party, distribute fires, post on
(47:08):
social media, post on a public safety app like citizens.
Number three, take care of yourself. Exercise, go, get a
massage or raiky, do something to lift your spirits. Number four.
Speak to a therapist. This could include a grief counselor
(47:32):
or a pair counselor. Number five go offline, get some
peace of mind, clear your mind, take some time away
from social media. Number six don't give up. Take two
stress relieving practices like meditation or build a memorial, build
(47:57):
an altar, order someone member and jewelry, join a prayer group,
or create other memorials that remind you never to give up.
And number seven, don't place blame. Don't get into the
cycle of blaming yourself for blaming loved ones around you.
(48:21):
Number eight. Find new meaning in your life and so
that can mean that you go and volunteer for an
organization that helps find missing people you know, or you
offer your services to uh group that you're missing. Loved
(48:41):
one was very passionate about number nine. Join a support group.
There are others who have survived what you and your
family have survived to reach out and number ten. Be
prepared for whatever outcome. Be open to accept the worst
(49:05):
case scenario, but also be open to the possibility of miracles. Disclaimer.
My views, beliefs, and opinions are my own and do
not necessarily reflect the views of my guests, resource organizations,
(49:27):
or sources shared. You've been listening to Survivor's Hell, Join
us next time for a mini episode. A mother daughter
convo on the Scarlet letter A the Other A thorow
verth Wade A. We get personal and political tune in
(49:58):
last thing. Every day we survive is a new chance
to see killing. Peace to your journey, good people, Asham
Host
Oya L. Sherrills
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