May 19, 2025 • 43 mins
*Part 2 of the disability series* Sarah Todd Hammer recounts the moment she became paralyzed at 8-years-old after a ballet class and her entire life changed. Now at 23, she is three-time published author, disability advocate and working to foster disability inclusion everywhere. She shares what her disability looks like for her daily life, how to teach the non-disabled to approach disabilities, why it was so important for her to attend college, and what can be done better.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally Oldsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
One of my favorite parts of getting to do this
podcast is to share stories in topics of things that
either haven't impacted me or I can't speak from personal experience,
because it means I get to learn with all of
you as these guests come on. And that was the
case last week, and it's the case this week. Sarah
Todd Hammer is a disability advocate and author. She's twenty
three years old, and we'll share her story of being
(00:39):
disabled and walk us through the best ways to be
an advocate. You're gonna love this one, So let's do this.
I'm here right now with Sarah Todd Hammer. She's an
author and a disability advocate, and I'm so excited to
(01:00):
hear her story and have her on.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hi, Sarah, how are you, Hie?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Hi Morgan, thank you so much for having me on.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm so excited to have you on. When I had
asked to have you on.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I watched your personal documentary Pressing Buttons short film on
your YouTube.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yes, thanks so much for watching.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, and I would really just love to start here
by you sharing your story because that is a huge
part of who you are, and that's the reason we're
on and talking about this today of course.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Hi everyone. I'm Sarah Todd. I go by Sarah Todd
or st is a nickname, and I'm twenty three from
Atlanta and I've had a physical disability since i was
eight years old. I actually had my fifteen year disability
anniversary on April nineteenth. Related emotional anniversary, yes, I view
(01:49):
it as mostly like a happy day. I try to
do something fun on that day if I can.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Did you do something fun for this?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yes? Yes, my friend was visiting actually, which wasn't planned
to specifically be on that day, but it just so
happened to be. So my friend from college was visiting.
We spent the weekend together, so that was super fun.
I had a great fifteen year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Love that, and I love that you celebrate that every
year because it puts a positive light on something that happened.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yes, I like to, as we'll get into, I'm sure,
I like to always view the positive sides of things
while still letting myself acknowledge the sad, emotional, or challenging
things because it's not healthy to ignore them.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So I try to have exactly correct and we totally
won't get into that, Okay, go on, I just.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Want to acknowledge, thank you. Yes. So on April nineteen,
twenty ten, so about fifteen years ago was when I
became disabled and I was at ballet class. My disability
happened to occur in ballet, but it's not related to ballet.
I was a really avid dancer, loved ballet, and I
(02:59):
was in my class try on my dance recital costume
for upcoming recital, and all of a sudden got a
really bad head and neck ache, which was so bad
that I was gonna go home, which was unusual for me.
I usually wasn't like that. I never wanted to leave class.
But on my way out of the studio to go home,
I reached down to adjust my ballet tights and my
(03:21):
arms and hands just stopped working out of nowhere. Obviously,
my mom and I didn't go home once that happened.
I was flown by a helicopter to the nearest hospital
and I was there for six hours that night. Didn't
receive any treatment except they gave me motrin, which I
could have gotten at home. They didn't do anything, and
(03:43):
they sent me home after six.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Hours and find me in a helicopter.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, they'd flown me in and then sent me home,
even though my mom was begging them to do something,
asking for a different doctor, asking if I had a
brain tumor, if I had a stroke, or various different things,
and they just didn't listen. So wasted our time there.
Was sent home really late at night, around eleven midnight,
(04:08):
and the next morning woke up and then couldn't move
my legs. So all in a matter of sixteen hours,
I became paralyzed from the neck down, completely out of
the blue.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
How old are you at this time?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was eight, so very young and obviously very scared.
But when I was sent home, I remember the doctor
told my mom, if she's not better in the morning,
bring her back. So I was like, okay, then he
thinks I'll be better in the morning. When I woke
up in the morning, I was excited because I was like, Oh,
everything's gonna be fine because he'd said that. So as
(04:42):
an eight year old, that's how your mind thinks. So yeah,
So it was completely paralyzed. In the nicktown. We went
back to the hospital. I was there for two months.
I had an MRI done that showed a spinal cord
injury from C two to T one on the spinal cord,
so very large section of my spinal cord was damaged,
(05:04):
and I regained the ability to walk in the hospital, thankfully,
but was left with partial paralysis in my arms and hands,
which is what I still have today. I have a
really unique disability because most people don't just have paralysis
in their arms and hands. Usually if they have that,
they're also in a wheelchair. But I'm walking, so a
(05:25):
lot of people actually don't realize that I have a disability,
even though my disability affects my day to day life.
So that's how everything happened.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And that was the wild thing when I was watching
your documentary was just how much.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
This is something so random?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
But I remember I broke my tailbone, and I didn't
realize how much that.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Impacted my life every single day.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I cannot simply imagine what it would be like for
someone who doesn't have the use of their arms in
their hands to do every single thing they need to
do in their day to day life.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
And you went to college.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yes, how we could talk about that too. Yeah, I'm
sure breaking your tailbone was so painful.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I did it rollerblady with him five minutes and I'm like,
Why did I do this?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Why did I do that to myself?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But if I think it gave me a perspective that
I would have never had, because you just don't realize
how important every single piece of your body is to
making everything work.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, until you can't use a certain part of your body,
that's totally the case. But what's interesting is since I
was eight, I feel like I just had all of
this happen to me, and then I just moved on
in a way. Yeah, it's hard to explain because looking
back on it, I recognize that I very much just
wanted to go back to how things were before. So
(06:47):
when I went home from the hospital, I was like,
all right, I'm home. Everything should be normal now. But
then I needed help feeding myself, and I needed help
getting dressed, and I wasn't going back to school, and
so then you're like, oh, it's not how it used
to be. But I think kids are just very resilient,
So that actually helped me. If I had been older
(07:08):
and this had happened, I maybe wouldn't have adjusted as well.
So I'm old enough that I remember it and I
remember what it was like to be non disabled, But
I also was young enough that it helped me adjust.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Do you look back on that time of your life
and even the days, months, years that followed and remember
a lot of emotional moments in trying to understand why
all of the sudden this would happen.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah, I feel like I was just very focused on
going back to normal, and I didn't really let myself
sit with what had happened too much, which then made
everything come up later as I got older and realized,
oh wow, that happened, and I can't even believe that happened.
For example, certain memories from the hospital, I know looking
(07:59):
back on it that I was having like panic attacks
and anxiety, but as a child, I didn't know how
to share that with doctors, and they didn't know what
was happening, or they would just tell me you're okay.
I know that you're fine because you're talking things like that,
And so it's difficult because as a child, I was
scared of certain things, scared of medical procedures and all
(08:20):
of those things. But I wasn't able to comprehend this
was just a life altering event necessarily, and it was
more like, Okay, I'm getting through this. I'm out of
the hospital now, I'm at home. Oh, but now I'm
doing therapy for eight hours a day. Then I'm done
with that after this month, and then it's like you're
just going through the motions. That's more so, I was
(08:42):
thinking as a kid, dreading those things until those things
ended and then I could just live my life with
my disability without like the scary medical things.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, I would imagine that would come with some trauma
of medical and understanding, especially been to you so young,
and especially that first even hearing you talk back that story,
that first moment of them being like she's fine, give
her a motrin, and you're like, I'm obviously not fine,
but okay.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Yes I knew I wasn't fine. But then I'm like,
he's a doctor, so as an eight year old, you're
going to trust the doctor. And then thinking too, looking
back on it, how powerless my mom had become. Because
when you're fighting with a doctor, you can't do anything.
They kick you out of the hospital, you can't stay,
they refuse to give you a new doctor. And that
(09:34):
makes me sad thinking about that too, how that happens
to not only just me and my mom, but so
many other people all the time. And I don't know
why it's a very common occurrence. Unfortunately, it very much is.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And that's a gosh story for a different day, I suppose,
because that has things.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
All on its own.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But something that I was thinking about to when you
do return to normal life post this event happening, were
you worried about what other kids might think? Were you
worried about what those interactions were going to look like?
Did you have bad ones? Or was it a relatively
good experience for you.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I don't know if I was necessarily worrying what people
would think. I don't remember that. I feel like i've,
thankfully he's actually been a very confident person. So my
fears are really less about what people are going to
think of me and more about, oh, what's going to
happen if I have a fear, and how am I
going to react or how am I going to take
(10:34):
control or fix things? So I don't really remember worrying
about it. But then I do remember when I finally
went back to school, so I had finished second grade.
It was April when this happened, so I'd taken the
standard grised testing and they just let me finish. Third
grade came up. I did that at home so I
could focus on physical and occupational therapy. And then for
(10:54):
fourth grade, I returned back to the school building and
I had a full time aid with me to help
me with school supplies like writing, getting lunch out, doing
the bathroom door, stuff like that. And I don't remember
being scared of what people would think of having her
with me, but I do remember things definitely were different,
(11:15):
Like there was one instance where I knew one of
my friends had a birthday party and I wasn't invited,
and she told me that I could have gotten hurt
because they had a pinata, and I knew that wouldn't
have happened pre disability. There was one instance where i'd
one of my friends come over to my house after
school in fourth grade, and as she and I were
(11:37):
going up to my room, I heard her mom ask
mine if what I had was contagious. Wow, And that
stuck with me because it made me realize, oh, like,
she's worried about her daughter hanging out with me, even
though we were in the same class at school. And
I do remember friends, like, you know, I had a
(11:57):
best friend before school or before my dis ability, who
was a boy. And then when I returned to school.
We were in fourth grade instead of second grade, and
he didn't want to hang out with me as much,
probably because he was like getting older and becoming a
cool boy. And that was different to me because I
was like, oh, we were best friends when this happened.
Now you don't want to sit with me at lunch.
(12:19):
So definitely things that happened that were upsetting, but that
I didn't necessarily worry about because I didn't know what
to expect.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, and that's hard too because you're also a kid,
and that happens usually to kids too, So then you're
having probably this, Okay, is it happening?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Did I do something? You're not the way that I'm
hearing you talk to you. This is just part of
who you are, as it should be. That is how
it should be.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
But to people who don't have disabilities, they see it
as a disability.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
They treat you differently, which is the whole reason we're
having you on because we don't want people to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yes, even that quickly, it just became who I was,
even in fourth grade. It only been a year and
a half or so less than that, and I was
already like, oh, this is just my life and so
then when I was treated a little bit differently, it
was almost confusing because I was like, why what's different?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, you're like to me, I'm still me?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yes, still who the person that the only thing that's
changed is for me?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yes, exactly, not as much for the other students and friends.
It was my life that had changed.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
You were talking about in that video too, And maybe
there's other things that you can pinpoint, But what can
this disability look like for you that people may not realize?
Because I do think that helps them understand the things
that you're going through while also being able to treat
you normally. When we understand things better, we can understand
how to interact better.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, something I've been exploring a lot is how I
want to be seen and then how I've realized other
people see me and not in a looks type of
way or anything like that, just about like how my
disability makes itself known. Because I used to describe myself
(14:14):
as having an invisible disability, and I talked about that
a little bit in my short film because I had
just assumed that when people met me, they had no
idea that I had a disability based on just like
the interactions i'd had with people I would meet, I
felt like they had no clue. And I think a
lot of people don't know it, but then a lot
(14:34):
of people do. And when I was in college, I
took a class that was a disability studies class and
we explored invisibility and visibility of disability, and I realized
that this is a way more nuanced topic than people realize.
And so the things I have thought about, like even
(14:55):
back in high school, like I wrote an essay just
for fun called what you Don't See, and it was
directed towards my classmates, just in general, and it was
all about how my mom got me ready for school
by helping me put on shoes, helping me get dressed,
putting my hair in a braid or a bun, packing
my lunch for me. Someone drove me, even when I
(15:17):
was in tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade and everyone else
was driving themselves. I show up to school looking super
put together, just like everybody else, but nobody saw what
it took to get me there. So that essay was
all about that what you don't see, You don't see
all of these things that go into my disability, but
they're there. But that doesn't mean they don't exist. So
(15:38):
I've actually found it very validating to refer to myself
as having a visible disability, because if I don't, I'm
centering how other people see me and not how I
see myself. So that's something I've been exploring. I found
it very helpful, honestly, to realize, no, it's not invisible.
It's just that people don't see these things, and that's
(15:59):
not their fault. That's just how it is.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, it's cool for you because growth is such a
beautiful thing, right when you can understand yourself better and
you're in those I remember.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
My twenties and they're not long ago. I'm only thirty one,
but I do remember my.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Twenties being such formative years where I understood so much
more about myself than I ever knew that I needed
to learn. You're at that prime time where everything is
just starting to fall into.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Place and you're understanding and it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It's also terrifying because so much of what you thought
you knew is not the same.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yes, I know, I love this age. I love being
twenty three. You can literally feel your brain developing and
you understanding things more, and it is fascinating.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah, I think they sound on the internet. My frontal
lobe has just developed.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It's so true, even compared to freshman year of college,
and you grow so much in college. Even by sophomore year,
I was so much different than freshman year. So much
growth happens and I love it. But it can be
challenging too, But overall I love it.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And speaking of college, you did go to college. You
graduated last year.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I can't believe it's been almost a year.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Which it trust me, it keeps getting further and further
away from me when I see that, like, holy crap,
that was so long ago. But this is something that
you always said you knew you'd do.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
You you can.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Tell it in your voice, in the way that you
talk about things that you're very driven and you were
going to accomplish the things that you wanted to accomplish.
But is there things on the flip side of college
where you're like, oh, that's something I'm never going to
be able to do.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, I definitely always knew it's going to go to
college because I knew I wanted to do that. There
are some things I know I'm never going to be
able to do, but I don't really care necessarily, see
I love this. Yeah, Like, I'm never going to be
a surgeon unless I've seen some people who can be
surgeons and they use the little robot things to do
(17:58):
the surgery instead of their actual hands and they're not
even necessarily disabled. So maybe in the future, but that's
just not even for me anyway. I'm not good at
art anyway, so I'm never going to be an artist,
like disability or not. But it's something I've thought about
maybe just doing for fun as a hobby, because I
do enjoy that type of thing. I was actually asked
(18:19):
the other day by one of my friends, if I
did a sport other than dancing, what would I want
to choose? And I was like, oh, I've never been
asked that. But I thought about tennis, and maybe there's
an adaptive way to do tennis, but with arm and
hand brousis tennis would be a difficult one. But I've
learned that there's so much that I can do and
(18:41):
that I have done. There's so many opportunities for a
joy in life that it doesn't matter if you can't
do some things. And in a lot of ways, there's
different avenues for doing what you did before, like with dancing.
For me, I just did it a bit differently after
(19:01):
becoming disabled. And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I wanted to ask that question for the exact reason
that you answered it. I'm so glad because it sounds
funny when I asked it up front, but I wanted
you to share with people that there was always this
who you are as a human being came through that question.
You were going to do what you wanted to do regardless,
and you were going to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Or the other side of you is I don't care,
I don't want to do that. It's fine, Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
So it shows the side of importance of this drive
that you have.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
So just to make sure you know, I answered it,
But did you did great? You didn't even know?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yes, thank you. Yeah, I love that. And I mean,
obviously it can be sad if you had a hobby
before disability and then you're disability takes away from you.
That can be devastating. That does happen, So I think
allowing yourself to sit with that is okay. But then
also thinking about all the beautiful things that have happened
from disability that wouldn't have happened before you would have
(19:59):
made you just had that hobby. But after disability you
can gain so many cool like new things like knowledge
and friends and opportunities.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And that was saying an opportunity hobby.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Then yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Sorry to interrupt you, but I do remember you met
somebody and you're really excited about it from your social
media pages.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh my gosh, who was it? Was it one direction? Yes,
I figured it was probably them, but I was like,
it could have been a few other people too, But yes,
I wouldn't have done that without my disability.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yes, So your perspective and the way that you view
what has happened to you and your disability is just beautiful.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
That perspective is so important, so I love it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yes, Yes, And as you're in college and you're doing
all these things, so you talk about how your mom
had really helped you, and a lot of people helped
you when you were getting ready for school.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
When you were in.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
College, did you have these moments where you're like, holy crap,
I'm by myself and I have to figure this out.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh my gosh. Yes, And sometimes I remember those they
just hit me and I'm like, because right now I'm
living at home and I'm very happy about it for
the time being where I'm like, oh, I'm so glad
to be home. There's some memories I have where I'm like, oh,
I would not go back. Overall, I loved college, had
such a great time, and I miss a lot of
things about it. But there were definitely some times where
(21:21):
I had to figure something out and I'd be like,
I just want my mom. But then I'm like, that
would happen disability or not too like the thing that
I was struggling with maybe was because of my disability,
but the thought was the same, Oh I just want
my mom. So many kids would think that and it
has nothing to do with disability necessarily, And those are
(21:42):
the times where you know, definitely good for growth. But
in the moment, I was just like, oh, I just
want to be at home.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, And to your point, yes, I had many times
in college where I was like, oh my gosh, mom,
it's the mean girl's meme.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
She were the guys yelling his mom picked me up.
I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yes, yes, that exact thought.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yes, very often for you as someone with a disability,
do you we were mentioning this topic of to you,
it's not an invisible disability, and it's really important for
you to identify that as someone with a disability and
who isn't doesn't want to refer to it as invisible.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Do you want people.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
To ask you about it, recognize it, bring it up
or would you prefer that they don't. And it's just
you're recognized as a normal human being without that, Like
what is the way that you would like to be
approached and interacted with?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It's so complicated because every situation is so different and
every human is so different. And see, honestly, I feel
like my disability is actually not even invisible. I think
people just don't notice things like my arms and hands
do look different. And I've actually found a lot of
comfort and now referring to myself as having a limb difference,
(22:59):
whereas a lot of people think you're an amputee or
you were born with some type of limb difference. But
I've had people refer to me that way, people who
know me, It is having a limb difference, and I
actually found it very validating. So I will say that.
But I think in general, I'm a super open person
and with my friendships, like once I'm close with someone,
(23:19):
I actually really like when they ask me questions and
I don't even care what the question is. If they
ask about if I can feel something, I don't care.
With strangers on the internet, I feel like they don't
really need to know the answers to those questions. But
I really like when friends do that because it shows
they're not afraid to ask. What I find interesting is
(23:41):
with some friendships I've had over the years. I think
I've had some friends who clearly aren't bothered by the
fact that I have a disability because they're friends with me.
But I get the sense that they don't feel super
comfortable talking about it or they don't know how to
talk about it, and I feel that honestly makes the friendship,
in my opinion, more there's just some awkwardness there where.
(24:01):
If it's just part of the friendship, then it's normal,
and with strangers it's interesting. Like this is why I
used to say I had an invisible disability, because when
I'm walking around at the mall or the grocery store,
people aren't coming up to me asking me questions. Really like,
some people might stare at me if they notice I'm
trying to do something and I look different, but I'm
(24:24):
not really being treated like a wheelchair user is at
the grocery store, where people might ask questions unnecessarily. When
I'm interacting with people, like if I need to ask
for help with something, I've honestly realized those interactions are
usually so normal and people are very good about things.
They don't really ask out of bucket things, and they
(24:46):
just listen and help me with what I need help with.
So anyway, Tangent long answer your question because it's just complicated.
But I feel like with friendships, I want it to
be acknowledged since it's such a huge part of me,
and with strangers, they don't need to know things. But
if it's someone I feel like I'm gonna end up
seeing again, I don't necessarily really mind a question.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I love that you gave a complicated answer because it's
a complicated topic. Yes, and it's again understanding, and the
only person that can help us understand that is someone
like you.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And that's a.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Catch twenty two because I don't like sitting here and
making somebody be the advocate in this situation where even
though you are an advocate and this is what you
love to do, I don't ever want someone to feel
like the sole responsibility of teaching other people who aren't
like them has to do you know.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
As that does happen, it's like you want to involve
the people in the work, but then there's also a
lot of emotional and physical labor that goes into that.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, but because you're reliving this.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah, And to your point, you in college, you were
a disability advocate who was really fighting to do a
lot of things at your college for those with disabilities.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Like you, I really love this work.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
But even someone like you who loves his work, who
talks about it, who wrote a book, still has to
have moments where you're like, gosh, why can't I just
be me today?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yes? Sometimes, definitely. In college, I would get that feeling
a lot where I would and this was a compliment,
but I would have other students come up to me
and ask me questions about their disability or where to
seek support for their disability. And it would be when
I was just walking to class, or not even at
a disability club meeting where that would maybe be more appropriate.
(26:33):
And I actually had to learn to set boundaries of
I can't help everyone. I love that they view me
as having the knowledge and the ability to do that.
That's a huge compliment. So it'd always thank them and
recognize that, but I would give them usually the disability
office director's email and say go to them or whoever
(26:53):
the right person was, because I just knew that wasn't
my responsibility.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, and I'm so proud of you for putting boundaries
because as someone who likes to help, it's often hard
to place those boundaries in.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yes, it is because you can feel bad about it,
but it doesn't mean that you don't care. It just
honestly means you're not the right person for them to
go to, even though they might think you are, and
that's a compliment. The truth is that the college student
that you know is not really the right person to
go to for help with disability accommodations. And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, which, again, just thank you for being on this
podcast to share so much of this because it helps
us understand having conversations like that between a stranger and
someone with a story gives us the knowledge that we
all should have to navigate people and humans that we
interact with every day. But why in college was it
(27:47):
so important for you to do these adapted processes?
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Why was that something that you focused a lot of
energy on.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
When I started college, it was because I had to
for me to be able to go to college andanty
without my mom or without an aid there with me,
I had to have accommodations in my Doream in place
for me to live there. I had alterations to the shower,
to the sinks, to the drawers, lots of different accommodations
(28:15):
were made. So it started with that. I did a
lot of self advocating there because I had to. Then
I knew that I wanted to be involved in extracurriculars,
but with high school and college, I liked just not
just doing school. I liked to have some activities, and
so I knew a disability club would be like the
perfect one. And so a lot of it just came
(28:37):
from that, and then also my social media at the time,
because I did a lot of videos in college about
my accommodations and so many people thought it was so
cool and they had tons of questions, and I realized
a lot of people weren't talking about this. I didn't
see any other disabled students online at the time. Now
I've thankfully seen more representation of that, but at the
(28:59):
time it was really being discussed, so that became an
avenue for activism. So it all just tied together and
started from me being forced to do it, but then
I enjoyed it and I think it's made me a
more confident and assertive person too, because I know how
to talk to people about what I need and I
(29:20):
can talk about what other people need, like just for
the community. Do that a lot on behalf of our
club at school.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
It's so cool what you're doing, Sarah Tuk. I just
want to recognize that too. I'm curious your perspective because
having a disability, I've seen on your social media you
write two things.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
You always read it on every video and.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's oh, no advice please, yes, no advice please. And
then in your captions you always write out the captions
for others. So being disabled, do you feel like it
has allowed you to understand others with disabilities better and
make sure you're also recognizing the things that could be
hard for them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Oh definitely, because I think about this all the time
that obviously we don't know how I would have been
as a human if this hadn't happened to me, But
what we do know is how I am now. But
I think that I would not have been a person
who would have known any of that stuff because I
wouldn't have had a reason to. So even when I
started making tiktoks five years ago, I didn't think about
(30:28):
putting captions on them until I saw someone in somebody
else's comment section mention it. Now I was like, oh, shoot,
I need to do that. So I was like, if
I'm making videos talking about disability inclusion, I need to
practice what I'm preaching as much as I can. Ever
since then, I've put captions for death and hard of
hearing people, and they're just more helpful in general, I
(30:50):
think if you want to watch without the sound on,
and they just improve comprehension. So I started doing that.
I put a video description on every video I post,
and then an image description for every photo, and that
helps blind and low vision people because they can use
a screen reader on their phone and it'll scan the
text and then read it out loud to them, so
(31:11):
then they have context for what the video or the
photo is. So I do that. I try to make
my fonts accessible if I'm ever making a poster or
something like that, and so I definitely do all of
that and know a lot about different disabilities, but I
also recognize I'm only an expert in my experience. So
(31:32):
for example, the other day, I posted a video looking
at different products at Sophora and talking about what was
accessible and inaccessible, and I would say, this pump from
two Faced doesn't work for me, but I could see
why other people would like pumps because maybe squeezing is
hard for them. There was another product that I could do,
(31:52):
but it was a little bit difficult, but I could
see that working super well for an amputee who has
the full strength in their one but they just have
one hand. So try to think about all of those things.
But at the end of the day, there's no way
I can know everything. Yeah, there's something I struggle with.
On TikTok. There's definitely some people who will comment and
(32:13):
be like, this works for me, So just because it
doesn't work for you doesn't mean it's bad. And I'm
always like, I didn't say it was bad, it just
said it didn't work for me. I'm not saying it
shouldn't exist. So we need like more options and variety
of things.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
This leads me into this next question too, when it
comes to representation with disabilities. What has that experience been
like for you, And do you feel like we're going
in the direction of having more representation.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I think it obviously is better in recent years. I
still think what unfortunately happens those when there is disability representation,
it gets turned into that like inspiration feel like the
feel good emotions, like where the person with the disabilities
being objectified to make other people feel good or better
(33:02):
about their lives. And I almost feel like it's impossible
for that to not happen. No matter the tone of
the movie or TV show or what music they use
or the lines the person has, people are still gonna
see it that way because that's just like what happens.
It's almost just women are always going to be seen
a certain way by men because that's just what happens.
(33:25):
And it's very frustrating because it's like we don't want
that to happen. So I definitely think representations better, but
there's still room for improvement. The one really good movie
I watched a few months ago was the film version
of the book Out of My Mind, and it's about
I think preteen eighteen with cerebral palsy, and it was
(33:48):
so good, Like they definitely made it known her disabilities
a part of herself. It was very progressive and definitely
not that inspiration feel good vibe. It kept it showed
the challenges of her experience, but also the amazing parts
of her experience. So I really liked that. So that
gave me hope for the future of.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I love that. It's funny.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
One of my shows that I watched, it's called Tracker
on Paramount and one of the characters they never talk
about it, but he doesn't have his leg and so
he's an amputee.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
It's never think he's just a character.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Yes, that's not to see more of.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And as you're talking about this, I'm like, I want
to recognize that because I feel for me as someone
who just I really pay attention to characters and I
love seeing the evolution of inclusion.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
To me because he's just a character, that's who he is,
and he's helping out this main character in this storyline.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I love that. Yes, I'm so glad you mentioned that
because the movie I mentioned is about disability. But it's
even cooler when it's there's a disabled character and.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
That's just what they're just a character.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
They're just a human being, which at the end of
the day, what people what disabilities are as a human being.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yes, yes, and it's not all we talk about, like
even though like I love talking about it and do advocacy,
there's so much more to me than that too, And
not in a way of my disability being inferior to
the other aspects of me, but like just the same
as the other aspects of my personality, like me being
talkative and me having a disability kind of the same thing.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yes, And that actually that perfectly leads me to the
last question that I was going to ask you, because
I saw you say something that you want to be
seen as a physically disabled young woman that you're also aligned.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
With all of your other identities.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yes, share with people why that matters so much, because
it's what you were just talking about.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
But I want you to expand further.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yes, I love that stood out to you because yeah,
I do say I want to be seen as the
physically disabled young woman that I am, along with all
my other qualities and things about my personality. And I
say that because if we try to ignore that my
disability exists. Like I was touching on earlier with how
I felt with some friendships over the years, it feels
(36:04):
like people aren't seeing the full picture of me because
so much of who I am has to do with
my disability, because it impacts my life every day. But
at the same time, I don't want it to be
seen as some pity thing or some sad tragedy or
anything like that. It's just part of me, and it's
just as much a part of me as me being outgoing,
(36:25):
me being confident, me loving social media, like they're all
just parts of me and integral parts of me and
big parts of my identity and everything I do is
shaped by my disability in a way, because I can't
not think about how that impacts my life or impacts
where I go and what I do. I like to
(36:48):
say that, and I think it also normalizes disability being
just part of someone, a big part of their identity
and who they are.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Then I know that was supposed to be my last
question that I had written here. It led me to
ask something else because I would imagine that you're in
the perfect place of your life where you're dating and
exploring opportunities in dating.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
What's that experience been like for you?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Because I imagine it's a little bit different, and you're also
looking for a very specific partner.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yes, I love that you asked this. I feel like
in high school, especially, I was not interested in dating.
I was just like, I'm here to go to school.
I lived far from my school, so I had to
get up really early to go and didn't have much
time to do homework and just like rest. So in
high school, I didn't even really think about it. In college,
I guess I got this idea, oh, I'll find my
(37:39):
future husband in college. And then I went to a
super small school with eighteen hundred students total, and there
were a few, like slightly more females than males there,
and so it just didn't happen. And I was like,
I'm not forcing anything to happen. And I also realized
any time I tried, I just didn't even feel like
putting in the effort. So I just realized it wasn't
a priority. College. I've thought about a bit more a
(38:02):
little bit, but once again, I'm still like, it's just
not really something I'm super desiring to do. But I
will say it's interesting because the times I've met guys,
we've gone out or we're at a bar, I'm talking
to someone, I feel like they have no clue. I'm
always just thinking. I had like, these guys are so clueless.
And I actually was talking to a guy I don't
(38:24):
know a few months ago outside a bar, like two
in the morning, and we were just talking, messing around,
and he grabbed both of my hands while we were talking.
He was like, your hands are so soft. And it's
so funny because people say my hands are softer because
there's not as much muscle tone, so they literally are softer.
And I was like, this dude has no freaking clue.
(38:45):
And I was just like, oh, I use hand cream.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
I love this experience for you.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's so funny. So honestly, okay, all that to say,
I just feel like they don't really know guys. They're
not thinking that deeply honestly about much, and especially not
a disability. But it's actually cast some interesting thoughts for me,
because back to the how I want to be seen thing,
I don't want it to be something that guys are
like or weird about or tiptoe around. And I feel
(39:14):
like guys are weird about it with me because they
can look at me and forget about it and push
it to the back of their minds and just see
the five foot blonde girl and then I fit into
that stereotype and that feels weird too, Like I want
them to see it just like how I do with
my friends, and I don't know. Maybe that'll happen eventually,
(39:38):
but I'm not going to force anything to happen, so
we'll see. But it's definitely more complicated as a disabled person,
and you have to be even more safe with it
too than most women too. I'm constantly thinking about how
I'm going to keep myself safe and what information I
would reveal to someone and keep to myself, because you
(40:00):
don't want to seem extra vulnerable because you're already vulnerable
as the woman.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Yeah, for sure, there's so many vulnerabilities and you're just
piling onto that. Yeah, And I love that you're not
forcing it, because I do. I think there's somebody for everybody,
and I think you'll meet someone who is going to
recognize you for you and have those conversations for you
and not put it in the back of their mind,
because that's also what you deserve.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yes, thank you, Yes, Yeah, I feel like but if
I want that to happen, I'll be able to make
that happen too when the time is right. And I'm like,
twenty three is also so young.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Oh yeah, you got so much time.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I think people freak out and they're like, oh my gosh,
I need to find someone in college and then right
after college, and twenty three is so young. I'm not
rushed at all.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Sarah tied if I could look back at my life
and the person that I was at twenty three is
vastly different than the person I am now thirty one.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I'm sure so much growth happens, like it does so much.
The twenties are pivotal time for growth.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
They are, and they're so much fun to do by yourself, honestly,
so keep doing it. But I wanted to ask because
I do know that's such an important part of this
life for you.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
I do like to end on.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
A piece of advice or a piece of something that
maybe we didn't get to that maybe you want to
share in.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
This is open ended. You can go in any direction
that you want with this.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I think lately I've been talking a lot about confidence
and self advocacy on social media, and so I just
want to leave everyone with, especially if you're a disabled person,
don't be afraid to stand up for what you need.
Don't be afraid to ask a stranger for help. I
know it's so easy for me to say that, but
I still feel scared when I ask a random person
(41:35):
for help because I don't know how they're going to respond.
But I think trying your best to just do those
things and recognize it's okay to be scared while you're
doing it is good because there's so much power in
advocating for yourself and it will make you a more
confident person. You'll be a better communicator, you'll be more assertive,
(41:56):
and especially if you're a woman, like it feels so
good be able to be like that as a woman.
So I really love to encourage that with people, and
remember that you don't need to reveal any medical details
to anyone when you're asking for help, and you can
keep it succinct and kind and assertive. And I just
like to encourage people to do that as much as possible.
(42:19):
But I know it's difficult, so it sounds easy for
me to say, but there's a lot of power and
self advocacy. I'll leave with that.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
There absolutely is, and there's also power in people like
me to make sure that we respond accordingly and also
kind and also open minded.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
It's an important message for everybody.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Thank you so much for being here, for coming on,
for talking about these things that I do know that
it's hard.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Yes, I really love this. This is one of my
favorite conversations I feel like I've had on a podcast.
You ask such great questions.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I'm so glad it's important for me to be a
conversation and most of the time we leave as friends.
So if you ever end up being here Nashville in person,
we'll do another interview in person.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
I will. I love Nashville, so we should totally do that.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
That would be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
But Sarah Todd, thank you so much for coming on,
and thank you again for what you're doing for the
disabled community and for yourself.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, Morgan.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Sarah Todd Hammer was so much fun talking too, and
not only a great leader but also an awesome human.
In the coming weeks, I'll be doing episodes on friendship,
health and wellness, veterans and one of my favorite dog
rescuers on social media. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
I can't wait for you guys to hear these, and
as always, I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I love you. Bye.
Personally Oldsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
One of my favorite parts of getting to do this
podcast is to share stories in topics of things that
either haven't impacted me or I can't speak from personal experience,
because it means I get to learn with all of
you as these guests come on. And that was the
case last week, and it's the case this week. Sarah
Todd Hammer is a disability advocate and author. She's twenty
three years old, and we'll share her story of being
(00:39):
disabled and walk us through the best ways to be
an advocate. You're gonna love this one, So let's do this.
I'm here right now with Sarah Todd Hammer. She's an
author and a disability advocate, and I'm so excited to
(01:00):
hear her story and have her on.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hi, Sarah, how are you, Hie?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Hi Morgan, thank you so much for having me on.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm so excited to have you on. When I had
asked to have you on.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I watched your personal documentary Pressing Buttons short film on
your YouTube.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yes, thanks so much for watching.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, and I would really just love to start here
by you sharing your story because that is a huge
part of who you are, and that's the reason we're
on and talking about this today of course.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Hi everyone. I'm Sarah Todd. I go by Sarah Todd
or st is a nickname, and I'm twenty three from
Atlanta and I've had a physical disability since i was
eight years old. I actually had my fifteen year disability
anniversary on April nineteenth. Related emotional anniversary, yes, I view
(01:49):
it as mostly like a happy day. I try to
do something fun on that day if I can.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Did you do something fun for this?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yes? Yes, my friend was visiting actually, which wasn't planned
to specifically be on that day, but it just so
happened to be. So my friend from college was visiting.
We spent the weekend together, so that was super fun.
I had a great fifteen year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Love that, and I love that you celebrate that every
year because it puts a positive light on something that happened.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yes, I like to, as we'll get into, I'm sure,
I like to always view the positive sides of things
while still letting myself acknowledge the sad, emotional, or challenging
things because it's not healthy to ignore them.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So I try to have exactly correct and we totally
won't get into that, Okay, go on, I just.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Want to acknowledge, thank you. Yes. So on April nineteen,
twenty ten, so about fifteen years ago was when I
became disabled and I was at ballet class. My disability
happened to occur in ballet, but it's not related to ballet.
I was a really avid dancer, loved ballet, and I
(02:59):
was in my class try on my dance recital costume
for upcoming recital, and all of a sudden got a
really bad head and neck ache, which was so bad
that I was gonna go home, which was unusual for me.
I usually wasn't like that. I never wanted to leave class.
But on my way out of the studio to go home,
I reached down to adjust my ballet tights and my
(03:21):
arms and hands just stopped working out of nowhere. Obviously,
my mom and I didn't go home once that happened.
I was flown by a helicopter to the nearest hospital
and I was there for six hours that night. Didn't
receive any treatment except they gave me motrin, which I
could have gotten at home. They didn't do anything, and
(03:43):
they sent me home after six.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Hours and find me in a helicopter.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, they'd flown me in and then sent me home,
even though my mom was begging them to do something,
asking for a different doctor, asking if I had a
brain tumor, if I had a stroke, or various different things,
and they just didn't listen. So wasted our time there.
Was sent home really late at night, around eleven midnight,
(04:08):
and the next morning woke up and then couldn't move
my legs. So all in a matter of sixteen hours,
I became paralyzed from the neck down, completely out of
the blue.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
How old are you at this time?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was eight, so very young and obviously very scared.
But when I was sent home, I remember the doctor
told my mom, if she's not better in the morning,
bring her back. So I was like, okay, then he
thinks I'll be better in the morning. When I woke
up in the morning, I was excited because I was like, Oh,
everything's gonna be fine because he'd said that. So as
(04:42):
an eight year old, that's how your mind thinks. So yeah,
So it was completely paralyzed. In the nicktown. We went
back to the hospital. I was there for two months.
I had an MRI done that showed a spinal cord
injury from C two to T one on the spinal cord,
so very large section of my spinal cord was damaged,
(05:04):
and I regained the ability to walk in the hospital, thankfully,
but was left with partial paralysis in my arms and hands,
which is what I still have today. I have a
really unique disability because most people don't just have paralysis
in their arms and hands. Usually if they have that,
they're also in a wheelchair. But I'm walking, so a
(05:25):
lot of people actually don't realize that I have a disability,
even though my disability affects my day to day life.
So that's how everything happened.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And that was the wild thing when I was watching
your documentary was just how much.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
This is something so random?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
But I remember I broke my tailbone, and I didn't
realize how much that.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Impacted my life every single day.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I cannot simply imagine what it would be like for
someone who doesn't have the use of their arms in
their hands to do every single thing they need to
do in their day to day life.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
And you went to college.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yes, how we could talk about that too. Yeah, I'm
sure breaking your tailbone was so painful.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I did it rollerblady with him five minutes and I'm like,
Why did I do this?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Why did I do that to myself?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But if I think it gave me a perspective that
I would have never had, because you just don't realize
how important every single piece of your body is to
making everything work.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, until you can't use a certain part of your body,
that's totally the case. But what's interesting is since I
was eight, I feel like I just had all of
this happen to me, and then I just moved on
in a way. Yeah, it's hard to explain because looking
back on it, I recognize that I very much just
wanted to go back to how things were before. So
(06:47):
when I went home from the hospital, I was like,
all right, I'm home. Everything should be normal now. But
then I needed help feeding myself, and I needed help
getting dressed, and I wasn't going back to school, and
so then you're like, oh, it's not how it used
to be. But I think kids are just very resilient,
So that actually helped me. If I had been older
(07:08):
and this had happened, I maybe wouldn't have adjusted as well.
So I'm old enough that I remember it and I
remember what it was like to be non disabled, But
I also was young enough that it helped me adjust.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Do you look back on that time of your life
and even the days, months, years that followed and remember
a lot of emotional moments in trying to understand why
all of the sudden this would happen.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah, I feel like I was just very focused on
going back to normal, and I didn't really let myself
sit with what had happened too much, which then made
everything come up later as I got older and realized,
oh wow, that happened, and I can't even believe that happened.
For example, certain memories from the hospital, I know looking
(07:59):
back on it that I was having like panic attacks
and anxiety, but as a child, I didn't know how
to share that with doctors, and they didn't know what
was happening, or they would just tell me you're okay.
I know that you're fine because you're talking things like that,
And so it's difficult because as a child, I was
scared of certain things, scared of medical procedures and all
(08:20):
of those things. But I wasn't able to comprehend this
was just a life altering event necessarily, and it was
more like, Okay, I'm getting through this. I'm out of
the hospital now, I'm at home. Oh, but now I'm
doing therapy for eight hours a day. Then I'm done
with that after this month, and then it's like you're
just going through the motions. That's more so, I was
(08:42):
thinking as a kid, dreading those things until those things
ended and then I could just live my life with
my disability without like the scary medical things.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, I would imagine that would come with some trauma
of medical and understanding, especially been to you so young,
and especially that first even hearing you talk back that story,
that first moment of them being like she's fine, give
her a motrin, and you're like, I'm obviously not fine,
but okay.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Yes I knew I wasn't fine. But then I'm like,
he's a doctor, so as an eight year old, you're
going to trust the doctor. And then thinking too, looking
back on it, how powerless my mom had become. Because
when you're fighting with a doctor, you can't do anything.
They kick you out of the hospital, you can't stay,
they refuse to give you a new doctor. And that
(09:34):
makes me sad thinking about that too, how that happens
to not only just me and my mom, but so
many other people all the time. And I don't know
why it's a very common occurrence. Unfortunately, it very much is.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And that's a gosh story for a different day, I suppose,
because that has things.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
All on its own.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But something that I was thinking about to when you
do return to normal life post this event happening, were
you worried about what other kids might think? Were you
worried about what those interactions were going to look like?
Did you have bad ones? Or was it a relatively
good experience for you.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I don't know if I was necessarily worrying what people
would think. I don't remember that. I feel like i've,
thankfully he's actually been a very confident person. So my
fears are really less about what people are going to
think of me and more about, oh, what's going to
happen if I have a fear, and how am I
going to react or how am I going to take
(10:34):
control or fix things? So I don't really remember worrying
about it. But then I do remember when I finally
went back to school, so I had finished second grade.
It was April when this happened, so I'd taken the
standard grised testing and they just let me finish. Third
grade came up. I did that at home so I
could focus on physical and occupational therapy. And then for
(10:54):
fourth grade, I returned back to the school building and
I had a full time aid with me to help
me with school supplies like writing, getting lunch out, doing
the bathroom door, stuff like that. And I don't remember
being scared of what people would think of having her
with me, but I do remember things definitely were different,
(11:15):
Like there was one instance where I knew one of
my friends had a birthday party and I wasn't invited,
and she told me that I could have gotten hurt
because they had a pinata, and I knew that wouldn't
have happened pre disability. There was one instance where i'd
one of my friends come over to my house after
school in fourth grade, and as she and I were
(11:37):
going up to my room, I heard her mom ask
mine if what I had was contagious. Wow, And that
stuck with me because it made me realize, oh, like,
she's worried about her daughter hanging out with me, even
though we were in the same class at school. And
I do remember friends, like, you know, I had a
(11:57):
best friend before school or before my dis ability, who
was a boy. And then when I returned to school.
We were in fourth grade instead of second grade, and
he didn't want to hang out with me as much,
probably because he was like getting older and becoming a
cool boy. And that was different to me because I
was like, oh, we were best friends when this happened.
Now you don't want to sit with me at lunch.
(12:19):
So definitely things that happened that were upsetting, but that
I didn't necessarily worry about because I didn't know what
to expect.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, and that's hard too because you're also a kid,
and that happens usually to kids too, So then you're
having probably this, Okay, is it happening?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Did I do something? You're not the way that I'm
hearing you talk to you. This is just part of
who you are, as it should be. That is how
it should be.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
But to people who don't have disabilities, they see it
as a disability.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
They treat you differently, which is the whole reason we're
having you on because we don't want people to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yes, even that quickly, it just became who I was,
even in fourth grade. It only been a year and
a half or so less than that, and I was
already like, oh, this is just my life and so
then when I was treated a little bit differently, it
was almost confusing because I was like, why what's different?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, you're like to me, I'm still me?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yes, still who the person that the only thing that's
changed is for me?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yes, exactly, not as much for the other students and friends.
It was my life that had changed.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
You were talking about in that video too, And maybe
there's other things that you can pinpoint, But what can
this disability look like for you that people may not realize?
Because I do think that helps them understand the things
that you're going through while also being able to treat
you normally. When we understand things better, we can understand
how to interact better.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, something I've been exploring a lot is how I
want to be seen and then how I've realized other
people see me and not in a looks type of
way or anything like that, just about like how my
disability makes itself known. Because I used to describe myself
(14:14):
as having an invisible disability, and I talked about that
a little bit in my short film because I had
just assumed that when people met me, they had no
idea that I had a disability based on just like
the interactions i'd had with people I would meet, I
felt like they had no clue. And I think a
lot of people don't know it, but then a lot
(14:34):
of people do. And when I was in college, I
took a class that was a disability studies class and
we explored invisibility and visibility of disability, and I realized
that this is a way more nuanced topic than people realize.
And so the things I have thought about, like even
(14:55):
back in high school, like I wrote an essay just
for fun called what you Don't See, and it was
directed towards my classmates, just in general, and it was
all about how my mom got me ready for school
by helping me put on shoes, helping me get dressed,
putting my hair in a braid or a bun, packing
my lunch for me. Someone drove me, even when I
(15:17):
was in tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade and everyone else
was driving themselves. I show up to school looking super
put together, just like everybody else, but nobody saw what
it took to get me there. So that essay was
all about that what you don't see, You don't see
all of these things that go into my disability, but
they're there. But that doesn't mean they don't exist. So
(15:38):
I've actually found it very validating to refer to myself
as having a visible disability, because if I don't, I'm
centering how other people see me and not how I
see myself. So that's something I've been exploring. I found
it very helpful, honestly, to realize, no, it's not invisible.
It's just that people don't see these things, and that's
(15:59):
not their fault. That's just how it is.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, it's cool for you because growth is such a
beautiful thing, right when you can understand yourself better and
you're in those I remember.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
My twenties and they're not long ago. I'm only thirty one,
but I do remember my.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Twenties being such formative years where I understood so much
more about myself than I ever knew that I needed
to learn. You're at that prime time where everything is
just starting to fall into.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Place and you're understanding and it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It's also terrifying because so much of what you thought
you knew is not the same.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yes, I know, I love this age. I love being
twenty three. You can literally feel your brain developing and
you understanding things more, and it is fascinating.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah, I think they sound on the internet. My frontal
lobe has just developed.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It's so true, even compared to freshman year of college,
and you grow so much in college. Even by sophomore year,
I was so much different than freshman year. So much
growth happens and I love it. But it can be
challenging too, But overall I love it.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And speaking of college, you did go to college. You
graduated last year.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I can't believe it's been almost a year.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Which it trust me, it keeps getting further and further
away from me when I see that, like, holy crap,
that was so long ago. But this is something that
you always said you knew you'd do.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
You you can.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Tell it in your voice, in the way that you
talk about things that you're very driven and you were
going to accomplish the things that you wanted to accomplish.
But is there things on the flip side of college
where you're like, oh, that's something I'm never going to
be able to do.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, I definitely always knew it's going to go to
college because I knew I wanted to do that. There
are some things I know I'm never going to be
able to do, but I don't really care necessarily, see
I love this. Yeah, Like, I'm never going to be
a surgeon unless I've seen some people who can be
surgeons and they use the little robot things to do
(17:58):
the surgery instead of their actual hands and they're not
even necessarily disabled. So maybe in the future, but that's
just not even for me anyway. I'm not good at
art anyway, so I'm never going to be an artist,
like disability or not. But it's something I've thought about
maybe just doing for fun as a hobby, because I
do enjoy that type of thing. I was actually asked
(18:19):
the other day by one of my friends, if I
did a sport other than dancing, what would I want
to choose? And I was like, oh, I've never been
asked that. But I thought about tennis, and maybe there's
an adaptive way to do tennis, but with arm and
hand brousis tennis would be a difficult one. But I've
learned that there's so much that I can do and
(18:41):
that I have done. There's so many opportunities for a
joy in life that it doesn't matter if you can't
do some things. And in a lot of ways, there's
different avenues for doing what you did before, like with dancing.
For me, I just did it a bit differently after
(19:01):
becoming disabled. And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I wanted to ask that question for the exact reason
that you answered it. I'm so glad because it sounds
funny when I asked it up front, but I wanted
you to share with people that there was always this
who you are as a human being came through that question.
You were going to do what you wanted to do regardless,
and you were going to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Or the other side of you is I don't care,
I don't want to do that. It's fine, Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
So it shows the side of importance of this drive
that you have.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
So just to make sure you know, I answered it,
But did you did great? You didn't even know?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yes, thank you. Yeah, I love that. And I mean,
obviously it can be sad if you had a hobby
before disability and then you're disability takes away from you.
That can be devastating. That does happen, So I think
allowing yourself to sit with that is okay. But then
also thinking about all the beautiful things that have happened
from disability that wouldn't have happened before you would have
(19:59):
made you just had that hobby. But after disability you
can gain so many cool like new things like knowledge
and friends and opportunities.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And that was saying an opportunity hobby.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Then yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Sorry to interrupt you, but I do remember you met
somebody and you're really excited about it from your social
media pages.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh my gosh, who was it? Was it one direction? Yes,
I figured it was probably them, but I was like,
it could have been a few other people too, But yes,
I wouldn't have done that without my disability.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yes, So your perspective and the way that you view
what has happened to you and your disability is just beautiful.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
That perspective is so important, so I love it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yes, Yes, And as you're in college and you're doing
all these things, so you talk about how your mom
had really helped you, and a lot of people helped
you when you were getting ready for school.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
When you were in.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
College, did you have these moments where you're like, holy crap,
I'm by myself and I have to figure this out.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh my gosh. Yes, And sometimes I remember those they
just hit me and I'm like, because right now I'm
living at home and I'm very happy about it for
the time being where I'm like, oh, I'm so glad
to be home. There's some memories I have where I'm like, oh,
I would not go back. Overall, I loved college, had
such a great time, and I miss a lot of
things about it. But there were definitely some times where
(21:21):
I had to figure something out and I'd be like,
I just want my mom. But then I'm like, that
would happen disability or not too like the thing that
I was struggling with maybe was because of my disability,
but the thought was the same, Oh I just want
my mom. So many kids would think that and it
has nothing to do with disability necessarily, And those are
(21:42):
the times where you know, definitely good for growth. But
in the moment, I was just like, oh, I just
want to be at home.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, And to your point, yes, I had many times
in college where I was like, oh my gosh, mom,
it's the mean girl's meme.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
She were the guys yelling his mom picked me up.
I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yes, yes, that exact thought.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yes, very often for you as someone with a disability,
do you we were mentioning this topic of to you,
it's not an invisible disability, and it's really important for
you to identify that as someone with a disability and
who isn't doesn't want to refer to it as invisible.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Do you want people.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
To ask you about it, recognize it, bring it up
or would you prefer that they don't. And it's just
you're recognized as a normal human being without that, Like
what is the way that you would like to be
approached and interacted with?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It's so complicated because every situation is so different and
every human is so different. And see, honestly, I feel
like my disability is actually not even invisible. I think
people just don't notice things like my arms and hands
do look different. And I've actually found a lot of
comfort and now referring to myself as having a limb difference,
(22:59):
whereas a lot of people think you're an amputee or
you were born with some type of limb difference. But
I've had people refer to me that way, people who
know me, It is having a limb difference, and I
actually found it very validating. So I will say that.
But I think in general, I'm a super open person
and with my friendships, like once I'm close with someone,
(23:19):
I actually really like when they ask me questions and
I don't even care what the question is. If they
ask about if I can feel something, I don't care.
With strangers on the internet, I feel like they don't
really need to know the answers to those questions. But
I really like when friends do that because it shows
they're not afraid to ask. What I find interesting is
(23:41):
with some friendships I've had over the years. I think
I've had some friends who clearly aren't bothered by the
fact that I have a disability because they're friends with me.
But I get the sense that they don't feel super
comfortable talking about it or they don't know how to
talk about it, and I feel that honestly makes the friendship,
in my opinion, more there's just some awkwardness there where.
(24:01):
If it's just part of the friendship, then it's normal,
and with strangers it's interesting. Like this is why I
used to say I had an invisible disability, because when
I'm walking around at the mall or the grocery store,
people aren't coming up to me asking me questions. Really like,
some people might stare at me if they notice I'm
trying to do something and I look different, but I'm
(24:24):
not really being treated like a wheelchair user is at
the grocery store, where people might ask questions unnecessarily. When
I'm interacting with people, like if I need to ask
for help with something, I've honestly realized those interactions are
usually so normal and people are very good about things.
They don't really ask out of bucket things, and they
(24:46):
just listen and help me with what I need help with.
So anyway, Tangent long answer your question because it's just complicated.
But I feel like with friendships, I want it to
be acknowledged since it's such a huge part of me,
and with strangers, they don't need to know things. But
if it's someone I feel like I'm gonna end up
seeing again, I don't necessarily really mind a question.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I love that you gave a complicated answer because it's
a complicated topic. Yes, and it's again understanding, and the
only person that can help us understand that is someone
like you.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And that's a.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Catch twenty two because I don't like sitting here and
making somebody be the advocate in this situation where even
though you are an advocate and this is what you
love to do, I don't ever want someone to feel
like the sole responsibility of teaching other people who aren't
like them has to do you know.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
As that does happen, it's like you want to involve
the people in the work, but then there's also a
lot of emotional and physical labor that goes into that.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, but because you're reliving this.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah, And to your point, you in college, you were
a disability advocate who was really fighting to do a
lot of things at your college for those with disabilities.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Like you, I really love this work.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
But even someone like you who loves his work, who
talks about it, who wrote a book, still has to
have moments where you're like, gosh, why can't I just
be me today?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yes? Sometimes, definitely. In college, I would get that feeling
a lot where I would and this was a compliment,
but I would have other students come up to me
and ask me questions about their disability or where to
seek support for their disability. And it would be when
I was just walking to class, or not even at
a disability club meeting where that would maybe be more appropriate.
(26:33):
And I actually had to learn to set boundaries of
I can't help everyone. I love that they view me
as having the knowledge and the ability to do that.
That's a huge compliment. So it'd always thank them and
recognize that, but I would give them usually the disability
office director's email and say go to them or whoever
(26:53):
the right person was, because I just knew that wasn't
my responsibility.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, and I'm so proud of you for putting boundaries
because as someone who likes to help, it's often hard
to place those boundaries in.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yes, it is because you can feel bad about it,
but it doesn't mean that you don't care. It just
honestly means you're not the right person for them to
go to, even though they might think you are, and
that's a compliment. The truth is that the college student
that you know is not really the right person to
go to for help with disability accommodations. And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, which, again, just thank you for being on this
podcast to share so much of this because it helps
us understand having conversations like that between a stranger and
someone with a story gives us the knowledge that we
all should have to navigate people and humans that we
interact with every day. But why in college was it
(27:47):
so important for you to do these adapted processes?
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Why was that something that you focused a lot of
energy on.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
When I started college, it was because I had to
for me to be able to go to college andanty
without my mom or without an aid there with me,
I had to have accommodations in my Doream in place
for me to live there. I had alterations to the shower,
to the sinks, to the drawers, lots of different accommodations
(28:15):
were made. So it started with that. I did a
lot of self advocating there because I had to. Then
I knew that I wanted to be involved in extracurriculars,
but with high school and college, I liked just not
just doing school. I liked to have some activities, and
so I knew a disability club would be like the
perfect one. And so a lot of it just came
(28:37):
from that, and then also my social media at the time,
because I did a lot of videos in college about
my accommodations and so many people thought it was so
cool and they had tons of questions, and I realized
a lot of people weren't talking about this. I didn't
see any other disabled students online at the time. Now
I've thankfully seen more representation of that, but at the
(28:59):
time it was really being discussed, so that became an
avenue for activism. So it all just tied together and
started from me being forced to do it, but then
I enjoyed it and I think it's made me a
more confident and assertive person too, because I know how
to talk to people about what I need and I
(29:20):
can talk about what other people need, like just for
the community. Do that a lot on behalf of our
club at school.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
It's so cool what you're doing, Sarah Tuk. I just
want to recognize that too. I'm curious your perspective because
having a disability, I've seen on your social media you
write two things.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
You always read it on every video and.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's oh, no advice please, yes, no advice please. And
then in your captions you always write out the captions
for others. So being disabled, do you feel like it
has allowed you to understand others with disabilities better and
make sure you're also recognizing the things that could be
hard for them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Oh definitely, because I think about this all the time
that obviously we don't know how I would have been
as a human if this hadn't happened to me, But
what we do know is how I am now. But
I think that I would not have been a person
who would have known any of that stuff because I
wouldn't have had a reason to. So even when I
started making tiktoks five years ago, I didn't think about
(30:28):
putting captions on them until I saw someone in somebody
else's comment section mention it. Now I was like, oh, shoot,
I need to do that. So I was like, if
I'm making videos talking about disability inclusion, I need to
practice what I'm preaching as much as I can. Ever
since then, I've put captions for death and hard of
hearing people, and they're just more helpful in general, I
(30:50):
think if you want to watch without the sound on,
and they just improve comprehension. So I started doing that.
I put a video description on every video I post,
and then an image description for every photo, and that
helps blind and low vision people because they can use
a screen reader on their phone and it'll scan the
text and then read it out loud to them, so
(31:11):
then they have context for what the video or the
photo is. So I do that. I try to make
my fonts accessible if I'm ever making a poster or
something like that, and so I definitely do all of
that and know a lot about different disabilities, but I
also recognize I'm only an expert in my experience. So
(31:32):
for example, the other day, I posted a video looking
at different products at Sophora and talking about what was
accessible and inaccessible, and I would say, this pump from
two Faced doesn't work for me, but I could see
why other people would like pumps because maybe squeezing is
hard for them. There was another product that I could do,
(31:52):
but it was a little bit difficult, but I could
see that working super well for an amputee who has
the full strength in their one but they just have
one hand. So try to think about all of those things.
But at the end of the day, there's no way
I can know everything. Yeah, there's something I struggle with.
On TikTok. There's definitely some people who will comment and
(32:13):
be like, this works for me, So just because it
doesn't work for you doesn't mean it's bad. And I'm
always like, I didn't say it was bad, it just
said it didn't work for me. I'm not saying it
shouldn't exist. So we need like more options and variety
of things.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
This leads me into this next question too, when it
comes to representation with disabilities. What has that experience been
like for you, And do you feel like we're going
in the direction of having more representation.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I think it obviously is better in recent years. I
still think what unfortunately happens those when there is disability representation,
it gets turned into that like inspiration feel like the
feel good emotions, like where the person with the disabilities
being objectified to make other people feel good or better
(33:02):
about their lives. And I almost feel like it's impossible
for that to not happen. No matter the tone of
the movie or TV show or what music they use
or the lines the person has, people are still gonna
see it that way because that's just like what happens.
It's almost just women are always going to be seen
a certain way by men because that's just what happens.
(33:25):
And it's very frustrating because it's like we don't want
that to happen. So I definitely think representations better, but
there's still room for improvement. The one really good movie
I watched a few months ago was the film version
of the book Out of My Mind, and it's about
I think preteen eighteen with cerebral palsy, and it was
(33:48):
so good, Like they definitely made it known her disabilities
a part of herself. It was very progressive and definitely
not that inspiration feel good vibe. It kept it showed
the challenges of her experience, but also the amazing parts
of her experience. So I really liked that. So that
gave me hope for the future of.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I love that. It's funny.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
One of my shows that I watched, it's called Tracker
on Paramount and one of the characters they never talk
about it, but he doesn't have his leg and so
he's an amputee.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
It's never think he's just a character.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Yes, that's not to see more of.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And as you're talking about this, I'm like, I want
to recognize that because I feel for me as someone
who just I really pay attention to characters and I
love seeing the evolution of inclusion.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
To me because he's just a character, that's who he is,
and he's helping out this main character in this storyline.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I love that. Yes, I'm so glad you mentioned that
because the movie I mentioned is about disability. But it's
even cooler when it's there's a disabled character and.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
That's just what they're just a character.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
They're just a human being, which at the end of
the day, what people what disabilities are as a human being.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yes, yes, and it's not all we talk about, like
even though like I love talking about it and do advocacy,
there's so much more to me than that too, And
not in a way of my disability being inferior to
the other aspects of me, but like just the same
as the other aspects of my personality, like me being
talkative and me having a disability kind of the same thing.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yes, And that actually that perfectly leads me to the
last question that I was going to ask you, because
I saw you say something that you want to be
seen as a physically disabled young woman that you're also aligned.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
With all of your other identities.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yes, share with people why that matters so much, because
it's what you were just talking about.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
But I want you to expand further.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yes, I love that stood out to you because yeah,
I do say I want to be seen as the
physically disabled young woman that I am, along with all
my other qualities and things about my personality. And I
say that because if we try to ignore that my
disability exists. Like I was touching on earlier with how
I felt with some friendships over the years, it feels
(36:04):
like people aren't seeing the full picture of me because
so much of who I am has to do with
my disability, because it impacts my life every day. But
at the same time, I don't want it to be
seen as some pity thing or some sad tragedy or
anything like that. It's just part of me, and it's
just as much a part of me as me being outgoing,
(36:25):
me being confident, me loving social media, like they're all
just parts of me and integral parts of me and
big parts of my identity and everything I do is
shaped by my disability in a way, because I can't
not think about how that impacts my life or impacts
where I go and what I do. I like to
(36:48):
say that, and I think it also normalizes disability being
just part of someone, a big part of their identity
and who they are.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Then I know that was supposed to be my last
question that I had written here. It led me to
ask something else because I would imagine that you're in
the perfect place of your life where you're dating and
exploring opportunities in dating.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
What's that experience been like for you?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Because I imagine it's a little bit different, and you're also
looking for a very specific partner.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yes, I love that you asked this. I feel like
in high school, especially, I was not interested in dating.
I was just like, I'm here to go to school.
I lived far from my school, so I had to
get up really early to go and didn't have much
time to do homework and just like rest. So in
high school, I didn't even really think about it. In college,
I guess I got this idea, oh, I'll find my
(37:39):
future husband in college. And then I went to a
super small school with eighteen hundred students total, and there
were a few, like slightly more females than males there,
and so it just didn't happen. And I was like,
I'm not forcing anything to happen. And I also realized
any time I tried, I just didn't even feel like
putting in the effort. So I just realized it wasn't
a priority. College. I've thought about a bit more a
(38:02):
little bit, but once again, I'm still like, it's just
not really something I'm super desiring to do. But I
will say it's interesting because the times I've met guys,
we've gone out or we're at a bar, I'm talking
to someone, I feel like they have no clue. I'm
always just thinking. I had like, these guys are so clueless.
And I actually was talking to a guy I don't
(38:24):
know a few months ago outside a bar, like two
in the morning, and we were just talking, messing around,
and he grabbed both of my hands while we were talking.
He was like, your hands are so soft. And it's
so funny because people say my hands are softer because
there's not as much muscle tone, so they literally are softer.
And I was like, this dude has no freaking clue.
(38:45):
And I was just like, oh, I use hand cream.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
I love this experience for you.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's so funny. So honestly, okay, all that to say,
I just feel like they don't really know guys. They're
not thinking that deeply honestly about much, and especially not
a disability. But it's actually cast some interesting thoughts for me,
because back to the how I want to be seen thing,
I don't want it to be something that guys are
like or weird about or tiptoe around. And I feel
(39:14):
like guys are weird about it with me because they
can look at me and forget about it and push
it to the back of their minds and just see
the five foot blonde girl and then I fit into
that stereotype and that feels weird too, Like I want
them to see it just like how I do with
my friends, and I don't know. Maybe that'll happen eventually,
(39:38):
but I'm not going to force anything to happen, so
we'll see. But it's definitely more complicated as a disabled person,
and you have to be even more safe with it
too than most women too. I'm constantly thinking about how
I'm going to keep myself safe and what information I
would reveal to someone and keep to myself, because you
(40:00):
don't want to seem extra vulnerable because you're already vulnerable
as the woman.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Yeah, for sure, there's so many vulnerabilities and you're just
piling onto that. Yeah, And I love that you're not
forcing it, because I do. I think there's somebody for everybody,
and I think you'll meet someone who is going to
recognize you for you and have those conversations for you
and not put it in the back of their mind,
because that's also what you deserve.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yes, thank you, Yes, Yeah, I feel like but if
I want that to happen, I'll be able to make
that happen too when the time is right. And I'm like,
twenty three is also so young.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Oh yeah, you got so much time.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I think people freak out and they're like, oh my gosh,
I need to find someone in college and then right
after college, and twenty three is so young. I'm not
rushed at all.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Sarah tied if I could look back at my life
and the person that I was at twenty three is
vastly different than the person I am now thirty one.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I'm sure so much growth happens, like it does so much.
The twenties are pivotal time for growth.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
They are, and they're so much fun to do by yourself, honestly,
so keep doing it. But I wanted to ask because
I do know that's such an important part of this
life for you.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
I do like to end on.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
A piece of advice or a piece of something that
maybe we didn't get to that maybe you want to
share in.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
This is open ended. You can go in any direction
that you want with this.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I think lately I've been talking a lot about confidence
and self advocacy on social media, and so I just
want to leave everyone with, especially if you're a disabled person,
don't be afraid to stand up for what you need.
Don't be afraid to ask a stranger for help. I
know it's so easy for me to say that, but
I still feel scared when I ask a random person
(41:35):
for help because I don't know how they're going to respond.
But I think trying your best to just do those
things and recognize it's okay to be scared while you're
doing it is good because there's so much power in
advocating for yourself and it will make you a more
confident person. You'll be a better communicator, you'll be more assertive,
(41:56):
and especially if you're a woman, like it feels so
good be able to be like that as a woman.
So I really love to encourage that with people, and
remember that you don't need to reveal any medical details
to anyone when you're asking for help, and you can
keep it succinct and kind and assertive. And I just
like to encourage people to do that as much as possible.
(42:19):
But I know it's difficult, so it sounds easy for
me to say, but there's a lot of power and
self advocacy. I'll leave with that.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
There absolutely is, and there's also power in people like
me to make sure that we respond accordingly and also
kind and also open minded.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
It's an important message for everybody.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Thank you so much for being here, for coming on,
for talking about these things that I do know that
it's hard.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Yes, I really love this. This is one of my
favorite conversations I feel like I've had on a podcast.
You ask such great questions.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I'm so glad it's important for me to be a
conversation and most of the time we leave as friends.
So if you ever end up being here Nashville in person,
we'll do another interview in person.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
I will. I love Nashville, so we should totally do that.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
That would be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
But Sarah Todd, thank you so much for coming on,
and thank you again for what you're doing for the
disabled community and for yourself.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, Morgan.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Sarah Todd Hammer was so much fun talking too, and
not only a great leader but also an awesome human.
In the coming weeks, I'll be doing episodes on friendship,
health and wellness, veterans and one of my favorite dog
rescuers on social media. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
I can't wait for you guys to hear these, and
as always, I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I love you. Bye.
Host
Morgan Huelsman
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