happy monday! Morgan brings on two special guests this week to talk all about careers. First up, career coach Ashley Stahl shares the best way to discover direction in your life and how to find fulfillment in a career path. Then, owner of Nashville's Parlour 3 and full time hair and make up artist to Carrie Underwood for 17 years Melissa Schleicher comes on. She admits the hard moments in discovering her passion at a young age. Plus, how she started working with country giants like Alan Jackson, Carrie Underwood, and more.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
Take Personally with Morgan Juelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, y'all, it's Morgan here. This is Take This Personally,
as you just heard. I hope this podcast is helping
you in a way that makes you feel seen and
a little less alone with everything that goes on in
our day to day lives. My goal has been and
will always be to provide a space where people feel
heard and can get help and maybe the only way
they feel comfortable doing that AKA in podcast form. This
(00:41):
episode is all about careers and finding happiness within success.
I have on Ashley Stall, who is a career coach
with years of experience, talking about the best way to
discover your direction in life and how to find fulfillment
in a career. Then Melissa Schleichner joins me. She's a
celebrity makeup and hairstylist known for her salon Parlor three
(01:01):
in Nashville, and of course we're being Carrie Underwood's full
time hair and makeup stylist for over seventeen years. She'll
talk about the unique career path she took and what
the journey looked like for her and how she continues
to evolve today. Ashley Stall is a counter terrorism professional
(01:27):
turned career coach in She's incredibly well versed in well
all things career. She helps clients to find their dream
careers and knows exactly how to set people up for
success in a world of many opportunities. I'm so excited
to be joined by Ashley today. How are you.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I'm so excited to be here. I'm doing great well.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Thanks for coming on. We're just going to dive right in.
How does someone know they are on the right career
path or doing the job that's right for them.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
It's interesting I said in one of the Ted talks
that I gave that there's a lot of reason for
why our gut is called our second brain. You know,
with more than two hundred million neurons our gut, it
literally has the intelligence of a cat or dog's brain.
And so I think there's something really intelligent to when
our stomach sinks, or when we feel pulled towards something
or a nudge towards something, and a lot of the
(02:17):
times we're just disconnected from ourselves, and I think that's
where the real work is.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Wow. I didn't even think about the gut perspective on
diving into a career field, but it totally makes sense.
We listen to our gut with many decision making processes,
so why not at our careers.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, there's a big difference between how something feels mentally
and how something feels physically. I've had so many clients
come into my career coaching practice, or take one of
my courses, or read a book that I've written, and
they've told me they have a job offer and they're
really excited about it. And mentally, there's so many different
boxes that the offer will check. But when I ask them, well,
how do you actually feel about doing this job every day?
(02:55):
A lot of the times people say, oh, well, not
so good, but it's a means to an end. It's
going to get me somewhere. And what they miss is
that that habit of thinking of this is going to
get me somewhere. Those years that you put in to
tick a box or to get enough years on your
resume or LinkedIn profile, those become your life, and that
becomes a habit of being and a habit of thinking
that costs you your own fulfillment. So I think it's
(03:17):
important today to take a look at how do you
actually feel? How are you doing? Really? And there's two
core dynamics that I think exist in anyone's career, and
it's the first thing I look at as a career expert.
The first thing is the what, meaning what are your skills?
Where are you gifted? What's your zone of genius? That
has to do with how you're using your mind, your body,
and your heart throughout the day. That's why the argument
(03:38):
in my book and in my work is not so
much about following your passion. My argument is don't do
what you love, do what you are, because I think
when you do something where you have a natural gift,
you're not pushing a mountain, you're not pushing a river.
You're being you and the world is responding and rewarding
you for it. So that's the first half is really
the function, the responsibility easier doing versus what you're interested in.
(04:02):
You know, you might have an interest in sports or fashion.
That's an excellent backdrop, but you need to first focus
on where are you gifted? So that's the what, and
then I think the second piece is the how. The
how has to do with your core values. Given that
we know that fifty percent of people leave their job,
if not more, with the pandemic because they don't like
their boss. What we can assume to be true is
that how your job looks matters just as much as
(04:24):
what your job is. And knowing that, we can take
a look at our core values. Do you value balance?
What does that mean to you? Really? Defining that? Do
you value achievement? What does that mean to you? Growth?
Really taking a look at the non negotiable principles by
which you live your life. And a common mistake that
people make when they self evaluate, they struggle to self
identify their own core values because they tend to pick
(04:47):
words that represent who they want to be more of
versus who they actually are. So it's really important when
you choose your core values, whether you read my book
or you google a list of them, that you're able
to really say, are these words in days negative of
who I am in my core versus who I want
to be? Who you want to be is useful, but
who you actually are? Those core values are the filters
(05:08):
for your yeses and your nose. So let's say your
core skill set is words, and you know that you're
really good at communication, I would say that's the what
the what of what responsibilities? You're going to be great at?
The second piece of that is to take a look
at are you introverted or extroverted? Do you want to
express that responsibility internally or externally? Do you want to
be in front of people or behind a laptop? These
(05:28):
are the things to ask yourself and then from there,
what does the job set up look like? And that
comes back to your core values?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Super interesting and definitely great to know that you really
need to be in touch with who you are and
yourself as we need us to be in all other
aspects of our life. Super important in our career fields too.
You mention a means to an end for a job,
do you encourage people? There used to be this old
standard of either go after a job you're passionate about
(05:55):
and you probably won't make a lot of money, or
go after a job that you're going to make a
lot of money but you won't be passionate about. Do
you feel like there's still those two divides now or
have we conquered a new level in the career field.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I didn't even know if it's a new level in
the career field as much as a new level of
someone's own consciousness. The truth of the matter is that
there are many jobs out there in times of crisis
are actually huge times of innovation, and no matter how
good or bad you perceive the workforce to look, companies
are always innovating and always hiring, and there's especially room
(06:25):
on top for you to thrive and do well. People
always mistake and believe that because there's a lot of
people doing marketing that they're just like everyone else, when
really there's always room on top for you to shine.
And so I think that the belief that anyone has
that they have to suffer to participate in the workplace
or to thrive financially, I think is outdated. The truth
(06:47):
is you can take a stand for the end. You
can do work that really lines up with who you are,
what your gifts are, and get paid.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
To be you.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
And I think that's really where fulfillment is. One of
the misunderstandings in the workforce is that you should love
your job. I think your job and your career is
a place that you can go to contribute. You can
go to use your gifts and make the workforce better,
make the world better. And I think a lot of
people put the pressure on their career to fulfill their
passion or their calling. When your purpose or your passion
(07:18):
and your calling can be something that's much deeper than
just your job. And while I get that we spend
ninety thousand hours of our waking time on this planet,
that's two thirds of our waking time at work. I
get that we want to make it count, we want
to make it mean something, And yet I think that
there's a way to look at it differently and not
put the pressure of it being your purpose. I always
(07:38):
tell clients or people who listen to my podcast that
the secret to really loving your career is asking yourself.
Number one, are you growing? Is it sharpening a core
skill set that you have that you want to grow
and harness in the workforce? And number two, is it
honoring your core values? Maybe you're using a skill you
want to grow, but maybe you're a salesperson and that's
(07:59):
the right role for you, but you're selling something you
don't believe in. An integrity is a core value for you,
and it's violating a core value. So I think really
taking a look at the harmony between where your gifts
are and what matters to you as principles in your
life is really that starting point.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, for sure, say you want to go after a
new career, but you studied one and it's not turning
out how you wanted. How can you make that pivot
into a new career, maybe without any experience.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I think it's really important to look at the past
of what you've done before and find the common thread
between the past and the future of who you want
to be. Every job is going to have an entire
rainbow of different skills that you've used, and so even
if you've used only ten percent of your time in
your last job in a skill set that's very relevant
for your next one, tune into that ten percent so
(08:45):
that when you communicate about your experience, you're able to
really highlight your relevant experience where you've really made an impact.
I think far too often people list their job duties
as if it's a pie chart of what they've done,
and they listed on their resumes like it's a bunch
of tasks, versus highlighting their relevant experience. Really taking a
look at what have I done that's relevant and how
(09:06):
can I communicate it about it in a way that
makes sense for where I'm headed.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Also sounds like when you're applying to these jobs, you
can't just have one blanket resume for each one. It's
like you need to customize it for those jobs as well. Yeah,
I still think that.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
We live in a world where networking is really crucial,
but absolutely I also think that you can't really escape
tailoring your resume. People feel it when you're just spraying
and praying with your resume. It's not going to resonate.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Spraying and praying. That's quite the phrase. I love it.
Making the leap to a new job can also be
super scary. How can one know or feel that they're
making the right move for themselves, because that's a really
terrifying place to be, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I think that life is really an experiment and you
need to be willing to take what you know and
with the best of your knowledge, move forward fulfilling. A
successful career has three lily pads, is what I've found.
The first lily pad is kind of what the majority
of the workforce unfortunately chooses to be in, which is
they're fine, and they're fine with being fine, and maybe
they don't love what they do, they like it enough
(10:12):
or it pays the bills and they stay there. There's
a certain population that swims from lily pad one to
lily pad two. Which is where my work really is
geared to take people. That's about really figuring out where
you're a gifted and where your talents are. So if
you're willing to swim from being fine to really finding
your gifts, you need to go through an unknown and
an experimental period. Clarity comes from engagement. It's never gonna
(10:34):
just come from thinking. You can't think. It's like rocking
in a rocking chair, just thinking and ending up in
the same place. Ultimately, a certain level of thinking got
you to where you are, and as Albert Einstein has
set in many of his quotables, you need to do
something new to get somewhere new. That comes down to experimenting.
So in order to get to that second lily pad,
(10:55):
there comes a point where you need to say this
feels like it's aligned with my core skill set and
really understand your core skill set is a huge umbrella
with many different options beneath it and many different ways
of expressing yourself beneath it. And once you lock into
a role that's using your gifts, people notice your magic
because it's actually rare, unfortunately, to see someone in a
(11:16):
role where they're really aligned with their skills and you
know it. If you think about your work right now
or your team right now, you know there's one person
that comes to mind where they're really shining because they're
locked in with their skill set and people always want
to get And that's the thing. A lot of research
shows that the most talented and high impact person is
the most burnt out person because people see how gifted
(11:37):
they are and they want to give them more work
because they can trust them to get it done with
a lot of shine on it. And so I think
going into that experimental period trying things on that gets
you onto that second lily pad where you're working in
your zone of genius, and from there life becomes a
game of opportunities. You start to sift between your yeses
and your nose because once people start to see someone
(11:57):
really talented, they start to ask them and offer them
different opportunities. And the thing with opportunities is that they
can be a very high form of distraction because sometimes
opportunities are a yes for you, other times they're just
distracting you and they're not actually what you're meant for.
So your job when you get to that second lily
pad and you finally have experimented enough to land in
a role that's really using your skills and showing your
(12:19):
gifts and your shining is to be able to say
yes to the right things for you, be a little
more discerning about who you really are, what your values are,
what your skills are, and how you want to be growing.
And once you find that right opportunity, you have an
opportunity to swim over to the third lily pad. And
not everybody makes it there. I believe that that lily
pad is kind of what they would call your dharma
(12:40):
you're calling, and I've only been there once in my career.
When I was writing my book, it felt like time
didn't exist. Words were just flying through my fingers as
I was typing for deadlines with my publisher. It was
like this magical experience that was beyond me and it
felt like soul work. And I think a fulfilling life
doesn't have to get you to that part where you're
really doing your dharma, but I wish for everyone to
(13:02):
at least have an opportunity to access that human experience.
And I would say, you really can't get there unless
you're willing to experiment, to engage, to try on different things,
and it doesn't mean you need to be reckless, you
need to be thoughtful. But yeah, I would say remembering
that life is an experiment. Life is a numbers game,
and in a lot of the ways that we put
(13:23):
pressure on ourselves in our career, it's almost like the
equivalent of us saying to someone in preschool your first crush,
you better marry them, you better get it right. That's
kind of how we are with our career. It's like
your first job opportunity, you better love it and grow it,
versus you are entering a portal of experimentation to find
yourself through your work. If you're not willing to step
into that quest, it's probably going to be a little
(13:45):
less fulfilling than what you would want it to be.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Well, I now want this interview on the podcast to
be encouraging people to jump onto their new lily pads.
I've never heard of that metaphor or example of what
that looks like, and I really hope people are dumping
on their new lilypads. That will be my new hope
for coming out of this interview. You also mentioned some burnout,
(14:08):
talking about how people can experience that, especially when they're
really utilizing all of their skill sets, and it's something
that exists in many career fields. How can one and
maybe that person who has honed into their skill set
avoid reaching burnout?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah, this is an incredible question because the majority of
the workforce is disengaged and burnt out. And I've never
seen so many mental health challenges come into my work,
whether it's through students in my programs or whatever have you.
I think there's four core tenets of burnout that anyone
can look at, beyond walking on a path that isn't
yours and really realizing that when you are actually burnt out,
(14:43):
and there's different levels of it, you are working out
of a different brain. When you have true burnout, certain
tasks that used to be easy for you become difficult
because your brain literally looks different if you get a
brain scan. One cause, I think is a lack of community.
There's so much research to show the power of having
community and support, and if you don't have communal support,
(15:03):
more often than not, that is a cause of burnout.
Another part is a lack of sleep, and this is
something that we talk about with Emily aires And on
the U Turn podcast. She's an expert on this and
she talks in this episode with me about these causes.
Lack of sleep is a very obvious part of the
human experience that a lot of us go through. It
is crucial and it goes without saying that we need it,
(15:24):
and a lot of people think that they can curb
their sleep, stay up late, but eventually we all crash,
we all get burnout. Another piece is a lack of purpose.
It's really hard for today's worker to do work without
feeling like it has any sense of meaning in the world.
I remember Karl Marx at the wake of the Industrial Revolution.
He talked about how people going from building an entire
(15:45):
chair to just being in a factory focusing on something
like the leg of a chair, a leg after a
leg after like was kind of the end of fulfillment,
of having a complete project or seeing the full purpose
or fulfillment in your work. If I think if a
lot of people in today's workforce feel like they're just
a piece of a puzzle and that what they're doing
doesn't matter, eventually there's a sense of burnout to that.
I think we're all wired to feel like what we
(16:05):
do counts, and there are ways, even though there's menial
tasks in the workforce or even as an entrepreneur, there
are ways to make sure that your team or you
feel motivated. And then I think the final piece is
a lack of agency. And this one is huge, and
I heard a lot about this during the pandemic, feeling
a lack of agency or a lack of power. I
had a client come into my private practice and she
(16:25):
was talking about she worked for a global cosmetics brand
and there were extreme shipping delays due to COVID, and
so even though they weren't her fault, she was at
the forefront of million dollar purchase orders and only a
half a million dollars worth of product would make it
to the client because there'd be a shipping delay on
the other half, and she was taking the heat for that.
It's a very perfect example of a lack of agency
(16:47):
caused by the pandemic, caused by her workplace, and she
wasn't being given resources by her workplace or tools to
be able to deal with and navigate the unhappy customers,
and it would eventually fall on her and cost her
her own fulfillment. So if you have a lack of agency,
a lack of purpose, a lack of sleep, a lack
of community, or you're working on a path that really
isn't meant to be yours. These are all signs that
(17:08):
eventually burnout is going to hit you, and there's different levels.
One thing to know is that there is disability programs
for you if you are in a depression spiral, if
you need mental health support, and you can get a
psychiatrist or a doctor to sign off on you needing
a medical leave of absence, and you have the right
in most states not to have to share what that
medical leave is, and to take a certain percent, if
(17:31):
not all, of your pay during a determined amount of
time that you have off to recover. Employers can no
longer get away with having you work for people's jobs
because they had so many people quit during the Great
Resignation and they didn't fill those roles. That can't go
on you anymore. And right now we're hearing a term
called the quiet quitters, and a lot of people think
(17:52):
that term means somebody's ghosting their job, they're leaving without notice,
But quiet quitters are actually the people who are quietly
stopping the practice of overworking, of working beyond the scope
of their role, and a lot of employers might think
this is a bummer for them, but this is actually
great news because people without quiet quitting are burning out
and fully quitting, and so quiet quitter's setting boundaries, I
(18:14):
think is a real healing tool for the workplace, in
the workforce and is going to translate into a lot
more happiness and satisfaction amongst workers and retention for employers.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, I'm glad you touched on that quiet counting term.
It's all over social media and I think the younger
generation has learned from our mistakes, and I love to
see that. We talk a little bit about being in
jobs that you love. If you're in that job that
you love and you feel like you're stuck and you
can't advance your career in that job you love, what
are some tips or advice you may have for someone
(18:46):
who's in that position, Because yes, getting out of a
job and going to one is something, but also being
in a job you love and just wanting to be
promoted and do something new is also a very real thing.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I had a professor and researcher on the U Turn podcast.
His name was Dan Cable, and he talked about how
to feel more alive in your job and he talks
about this huge body of work called job crafting, which
kind of sounds like Star Wars or something like that.
What's really powerful about it, it's kind of how you
turn a bland job into a grand job. Job Crafting
is really the practice of asking yourself, what is my
(19:19):
core skill set and how can I initiate a project
that helps me sharpen that superpower and that gift that
is of high value to my employer. So that's one
thing you can do on a personal level, something that
you can add your resume at your employer conversations if
you ever search for a new job. The other half
of your question around getting promoted, sometimes you need to
be blunt and actually set up a meeting with your manager.
(19:40):
And one mistake that a lot of employers make is
that they're casual about it. They'll stop someone in the
hallway and say, hey, I was thinking about my growth.
You need to respect that you want to grow and
set this up as an official meeting, emailing your boss
and saying hey, I have some ideas about what's possible
for the year ahead, and I would love to have
a formal meeting with you to explore what's possible with them,
(20:00):
do you have any time in the following week let
me know that way, when you come to the meeting,
you want to have a few things on hand. You
want to have some bullet points of some accomplishments you've
already had that you're really proud of, areas that you've
maybe exceeded your job responsibilities, and you want to have
some ideas for the future. And maybe one of those
ideas is job crafting. It's a project that you want
to take on. It's a matter of the heart and
(20:20):
it's something of extraordinary value. But what's important is that
people don't just promote you because it's time to promote you.
You get more because you're doing or giving more. And
that more could be a vision, and so you really
want to enroll your manager in a vision of what
you see is possible for them and possible for you.
So really set that time aside, take some time before
(20:41):
the meeting to really write down those achievements of the
past where you've exceeded expectations, what you think is a
vision for the future, and be prepared to really enthusiastically
show them what's possible, and from there ask them, hey,
if I'm able to achieve these things in the year
coming up. Are you able to revisit my salary? I
did some research and this is the compensation level for
this level of responsibility, and I would love to explore it.
(21:02):
Talking about money is something that I think more people
need to talk about as if they're ordering a sandwich
at a sandwich shop, just very neutrally, because a market
compensation rate is a number that's based on what your
contribution is and it's that neutral.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Wow. Yes, I do believe that we should be talking
about numbers more. Even if it may be a little
scary to share that about you and hear others, it
is an important tool to have for yourself in the
long run. I do agree. We're talking about these different
job aspects, how you can get into a job, how
to leave a job, how to change careers. There's one
hot topic though, that I definitely want your opinion on.
(21:36):
Do you feel that work life balance is a real thing?
Because there are also people out there that believe if
you're not working, then your competition is you got to
work harder and do put on all these hours. Talking
about the burnout. It all goes hand in hand. But
can we find the best work life balance and actually
benefit us and our employers.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay, so work life balance has two core facets. Think
the first piece is what you actually need on the outside,
and the second piece is what does it really mean
for you on the inside. And I feel like that
hustle culture really burns people out. The reality is it's
actually okay to just be Okay, you can be maintaining,
you can just be where you are. I think the
second piece is to really take a look at if
(22:19):
you're what does fine mean for you? What does great
mean for you? What does balance mean for you? For
some people, balance looks like nine to five. We also
live in a time of polywork. This originally was started
by the millennial generation and they did it to keep
the lights on, where they'd take multiple jobs and piece
them together to pay the bills. Now gen Z has
been using polywork more so as a way to express
(22:40):
themselves and to look at all their nuances. So what
that looks like is saying to themselves, Okay, what are
the different facets of me. I want to work in
the film industry. I want to do the creative side
of things. What are three different jobs part time that
I could do to deepen my understanding of this entire
skill set and niche that I want to be in.
So I think it's more important than ever to question
that hustle culture and to check in with what does
(23:02):
balance and success really mean for you?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Wonderful. I think that's such a great point for us
to end on, as people can sit with that and
think about their own lives and what they're doing with
their career. So, Ashley, I just want to thank you
so much again for joining me. It's been wonderful to
have you on.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Ashley has many resources for people to check out. She
has online courses, a book called You Turn, Get Unstuck,
Discover your Direction, Design your Dream Career, and the U
Turn podcast wherever you listen to podcasts, So definitely check
out all of these things or connect with Ashley if
you're looking to elevate the career aspect of your life.
(23:50):
Melissa Schleichner is an incredibly talented hair and makeup artist
in Nashville. She owns the famously known salon Parlor three,
as well as several other businesses that spun from not Salon.
She is a full time hair and makeup artist to
carry Underwood, and the rest of her clientele includes Alan Jackson,
Brad Paisley, Leanne, Willmack, Rascal Flats, just to.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Name a few.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I know so many Thanks for being with me today, Melissa.
How are you.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'm great? Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.
Congrats to you for.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Doing this, So excited to talk with people like you
and just hear your stories, because I think it's important
to share some of the journey behind the success that
we see. So have you always known what you're doing
now is what you wanted to do for your career?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Since I was a little girl, I was the only child,
so I would play with my bories, that's my thing was,
and my mom would get so mad at me because
I would cut their hair as soon as I would
get them. Or I would take a black sharpie and
draw a liquid elanor before liquid eleanor was even around.
But I always knew since I was a little girl,
I had a pair of scissors.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
And went for it.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
As you were growing up, was there a path for
you already there or did you have to create your own?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
To create my own when I was younger, that's just
what I wanted to do. But like in high school
and stuff, they had beauty school, but it's not really
the class.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
You wanted to go to in high school.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
You didn't want to really kind of be the one
in high school going to beauty school. There wasn't a
lot of options back then to where there are now.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, for sure, was it beauty school meaning like I
saw in Greece? Is that what you're referring to?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yeah, pretty much, maybe a little worse.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
So in a way, you kind of taught yourself. It
sounds like to be where you are right now.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I mean when I was eleven years old, I was
cutting up boy's hair in my neighborhood or just my
mom was like I'm going out to get eleven like
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Or as we.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Got older, like thirteen fourteen, I was like I had
to do everybody's hair for events.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Back then, did your parents support you doing that or
were they kind of like you should might check out
a few other careers, maybe not go down this path.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, I wasn't the perfect child, and I kind of belonged.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
In that beauty school. I didn't love school, and I
always knew what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I actually quit high school at the end of my
tenth grade year, and my dad was a school teacher,
so that didn't go over too well, right, and he's like, well,
if you're going to go to beauty school, you're gonna
pay for it. So my dad actually made me sign
up and he made me pay for it. So I
went to beauty school.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
That's what I did. I quit high school. I loved
it so much.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I was like.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Thriving in beauty school. But I was the girl that
dropped out of high school.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
And that had to be hard for you. You were
changing the norm of what it looked like, especially in
your family. What did that feel like for you at
that time?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I felt like everybody's like, she's never going to amount
to anything, you know what I mean. I mean it's
what it is like back then. It's like, oh, you're
going to be a hairstylist. They don't make any money.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I'm like, well, what was that first connection that happened
for you? I listed so many of the country music
starts you were working with. When did that begin and
what did that look like to even get your foot
in that door?
Speaker 4 (26:52):
So it started there was another makeup artist, Melanie. There
was not very many makeup artists.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
When I was started for the celebrities, there was a
girl named Melanie Shelley and I was kind of her assistant,
and I would do people when she couldn't do it,
and she was just amazing. She was working with the
Dixie Chicks, Al Jackson, LeAnn Walmack, all these different people. Well,
she got super busy with the Dixie Chicks, so I
would go do Alan Jackson for her or different people,
(27:17):
and you know, it just kind of evolves where it wasn't.
They liked me, but she was just really busy at
the time. My first real client was Alan Jackson.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
And what does that look like doing makeup for a
male artist, because a lot of people are like, oh, makeup, hair,
it's all female.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I love male grooming, like it's easy, but it's also
I mean, you think, oh, just slaps some powdery.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
It's not that easy.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
They're going on TV. You have to make sure everything
looks great. They're brows and all the good things. But
I love male grooming so much.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
How did the connection to Carrie happen?
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Carrie was this girl on American Idol. I didn't watch
TV much.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I was weren't busy doing my freelance stuff here, Alan Jackson,
LeAnn Walmack, all these people. And my daughter Hunter was
watching American Idol when Bo and Carrie were on there
she won, which my daughter was obsessed with carry and
I said, oh, Honter, they called me for.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
That girl you love on American Idol for her first
Afrey debut.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
She's like, Mom, you have to do it. And so
I had Alan Jackson that night. So I actually was like, okay,
I can come get her ready, but I have to leave.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
So I did it. Didn't think anything about it.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I just did it for my daughter that was eleven
years old at the time, to get an autograph. And
then I think like two weeks later, I was working
with other artists. They were kind of slowing down, and
they called me for like thirty dates for Carrie and
I was like, oh, okay, I liked her, she's great,
and then it just it went from there.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Wow, you were there at the very beginning of that career,
and that has to be really cool, not only as
a stylist and an artist, but just as someone who's
gotten to see her thrive throughout so many years. What
has your guys' friendship also kind of looked like, because
that has to be a close relationship.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
It is.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You know, I've been with her since she was young.
I've been through it all with her. I've been through everything,
you know. It's still amazes me today. I met her
when she she was twenty. I don't even know she
was twenty something and I had a young daughter. But
it's like I was her big sister. She's the same
girl mel long time ago, and she's.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
To hear that about your favorite country artists, and that's
even cooler to know about Carrie, who really is a
mega superstars.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Really been awesome to watch her evolve over the years.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And you know, I've been around for seventeen years with
her doing hair and makeups, like what am I going
to do next? But we always come up with something,
you know, and she never I was like, what are
you gonna do? She's like, I don't care, and she's
so easy and I'm like, okay, so it's all on me.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
I gotta figure this out, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
And that is a difficult thing with your career. Something
that maybe people don't realize is you were always having
to stay up with current things and trending stuff that's
happening in hair and makeup. So how do you make
sure that you were always evolving?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Owning a salon helps me do that because I see
all these young girls coming in and we all learn
off of each other. Like I'll be the sn for
a day and I'm like, oh, I love what you
just did with that hair.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Let me try that. So it is helpful to watch
these young girls that are coming in my salon or
ones that have been here for ten years, just seeing something.
They We all learn off of each other. And of
course I look at magazines and what's coming up or whatever.
I just create.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I never really plan out what I'm doing. I just
say what's the outfit today, and then we just we go.
I have everything in my kit you could ever want,
from ryn stones to glitter to hair pieces.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
It weighs a lot, but I have everything I need.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I think it's really cool to hear that you're looking
at the younger generations and seeing inspiration rather than competition.
I think that's awesome. Speaks to how successful you are
and what you've been able to do and accomplish in
your career. You are quite a business guru, I would say,
looking at your bio and everything you've done and all
the businesses you've opened. What is it like for you
(30:55):
to be a woman owned business at this time?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I open partli T three almost eleven years ago. It
was for to open a makeup store. That's all I
wanted was a makeup store. And then it just evolved
to a hair salon. And then I had friends everywhere
that were hair stets. I'm like, I should just do
a salon. I have this pick space.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Definitely struggles along the way, and I am.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Always like, ooh, let's do this, let's do this. Adding
on businesses, it's definitely a struggle, but I love it.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I love a challenge every day. COVID was hard. I
have sixty five employees or more between my three businesses.
That was really tough.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
But we survived and we came out and we're doing great.
I'm proud to be a woman owned business. I'm proud
of it and I love I think what makes my
heart happy is seeing all these young girls and guys thrive.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
It took me a long time to make great money.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Struggle like I would do stuff for free when I
started out, you know, or our day rates are not
like they were back in the day. You know, I'm like, oh,
I made one hundred and fifty dollars, you know what
I mean. I think that's what I love about the
salon is like they graduate and they go to hunter
Page or the barbers are doing this and that, and
I just love it.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
You mentioned the struggles, and that's definitely something I'm trying
to highlight in this podcast. Is just addressing that everything
is in a clear line and it's really hard to
get where we are and Instagram makes everything look pretty,
but that's not the reality.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So I mean a lot of sleepless nights owning a business,
I mean, it really is, or somebody's decided to leave,
or you know, it's a lot of struggles, or every
day I have one to four buildings. Something's wrong every day,
my poor husband. I'm like, done, Lautilla, it's not working.
It partly done.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
Hunter Page is the likes. It's just a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Is there one struggle that kind of sticks out for
you where it happened and you didn't think maybe this
was going to work or you were going to have
to change the way you were doing things.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
When I had to back down working with everybody because
I had so many clients and I'm a people pleaser always.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
What would happen is I would have Rascal Flats. Their
lat album just launched, so I would do all this
TV stuff with them. Then I would have Carrie, then
I'll have an Alan and never had a break.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
So I had my salons, but I was also traveling
all the time, just trying.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
To take care of everybody else but not myself.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And so that was my breaking point of you know what,
you're important too. You know you could take care of
everybody else. But that's when I kind of chose Carrie
is just easy, she really is, and she's just been
so good to me, and it's easy to go work,
so I never I enjoy my job when I don't
look at it as a job and it's like we
go travel and we have front But that's the struggle.
I think that was my breaking point. I loved every
(33:36):
single person I worked with, but I had to take
care of me.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, that's a very important lesson and it's very easy,
especially for someone who's an entrepreneur, has an entrepreneur spirit
to just drive and work and put every type of
business and success ahead of them. What were those feelings
that you experienced as this breaking point was happening.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Failure, like, Okay, I'm gonna lose my salon or I'm
gonna have to pick here, like and i'mna have to
pick and choose. But I didn't have to give up Carrie,
you know. So I was like, Okay, I can still
keep my feet in there, but still have my salon
taken care of. It was cry a lot of crying
nights going I'm gonna have to tell clients that I've
been with for years that I just can't do this anymore.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Honestly, it was a relief for me doing that, but
it was hard.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You also, even too, have side projects. I have one
of your paintings hanging up in my bedroom. You do,
I do, and that was what turned me on to
you in the first place. So you have all these
side projects too. So did break away from certain things,
but then you added some new projects on how did
that happen?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Crazy?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
You know how I hair pictures on Instagram or social media.
You need a good background, right, So I was like
one day, I was like, I'm gonna go to Michael's
and I'm gonna buy some canvases. My mom was with me,
and she goes, well, let's just go by it was
cold outside. I get all this paint, spent so much money,
and I set it up in my dining room on
my dining room table and just started painting and in
shower for two days.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
And then I started posting it on like social media
and everybody's like, oh my gosh, I want one, and
I'm like what. So then I had them hung up
in this sale and this lady was a client at
parlor and.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
She's like, whose art is that?
Speaker 1 (35:12):
And they were like, well, that's Melissa, the owners, and
she's like, does she want to reproduce it for Kirkland
the start that I've shopped at when my mom says
I was a little girl, And I'm like absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yes, so yeah wow.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
And then they sold out of all my I think
they did four pieces and sold it at Kirklands all
over the country and I'm.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Like, okay, that was cool.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
No, I love that. And it's just goes to show
who you are as a person, how you're just always
evolving and always creating. And I think that's a really
cool thing for people to hear and see. There's going
to be young people I'm sure that hear this and
if you could give them advice. Maybe they have a
spirit like yours, very entrepreneurial. Maybe you want to pave
(35:53):
their own path. What are some advice you would give
them if they're starting that journey.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Don't give up and don't letting me tell you you
can't go for it. Don't anybody stop you, and just
try to do your best at what you just shoot
for the stars.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Man, that's great, and it's even just hearing it from you.
You have a smile on your face while you're saying
all this too. You're just a light.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
My first paycheck was more than my dad's That was
a school teacher. So I framed it and with a
picture of me and said I turned out okay.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
If nothing else worked after that point, at least that happened.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
I made more than you did, like em in the
first like two weeks of being in a one.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I think it's so cool that we can do things
that we're passionate about and excited about. And you've done that.
You've made an entire career life and business out of that.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I just like being around people. I love people, and
just being in these businesses make me happy. I'll be
sad one day when I'm not here, but just seeing
all these people, it's it's really awesome.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I believe that. I want to ask you some questions,
just for fun and being the expert that you are
in hair and makeup. What's your favorite overall beauty brand
to use?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
There's so many.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Okay, you can give me like a top three.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Something that I'm kind of obsessed with right now. A foundation.
It's the Lady Gaga Foundation. I'm just telling you, it's amazing.
It's so good. Her new line is incredible. It's my
new favorite foundation. Glitter is important.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Is there a brand that you love of glitter?
Speaker 4 (37:19):
I love the Pat McGrath palettes. They're the glittery. It's
called Vanny Cosmetics. It's like a wet I just got
the palette like last week and I'm so excited to play.
I actually have some of my eyes today, but it's
like a wet glitter and it doesn't move.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Okay, yes, I need that in my life. I'm all
about the glitter. I say, there's never enough glitter in
my life.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I'm a golder. I like everything gold. I love Keros
Doss products orbe I love Warbey.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
These are great because these are a lot of things
I've never heard of, so I'm loving it. Yeah. Also, Melissa,
I'll be honest with you, I'm really bad about following
trends and hair and makeup. I'm really good about just
making sure I'm always presentable and I feel good.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
You've always beautiful.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Always see you and you always looks out. Saw you
on Instagram and stuff, and you're an evince. The night
that you interview Carria, you look absolutely stunning.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I'll tell you about that night, really funny story. I
was like, I'm not really sure who we're going to
be interviewing tonight. I'll be cool if we just talk
to a few people. Threw on a dress I had
in the closet and I was like, it'll be great.
And then I see Carrie and I'm like, crap, I
really should gust to the nines.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
You looked amazing. I saw you in the carpet. I
was back there, and you look incredible.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
No, you're too sweet. But hey, compared to you guys,
you're over there killing it. I'm trying to keep up
over here.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Hey, lashes just start here and lashes on. If you
can learn to do some lashes their lashes on.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
That's what I was going to ask you for someone
like me who's just really it's really hard for me
to stay in the trends. Yeah, that's something just super
easy to do with my hair and makeup. That just
kind of elevates an entire weep.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Your brows always groomed, that is very important. Always keep
it go, get your brows wax, get that taken care.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Like, you look beautiful right now.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
But hey, we're out there, we're all trying to serve now.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
But just add the.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Little dark car going out like in the crease. Like
you know, I always say it's like a V writ
in here, right, So tag it like a dark brown
or black, and put it in your crease like think
of a V right here, and then add a little glitter,
put a mask scar on.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
You're good to go.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I love it. See easy tips. I'm here for easy tips.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
And hey, let me tell you something else too.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
So if you have a makeup palette like a shadow,
anything that shimmers and has a shimmer, you wet it
and when you put on there, it doesn't move.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Okay, don't oversaturate. You'll see what I want you to
go play with it now anytime you like a palette, right,
and it's got shimmer in it.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Matt, do not do, Matt, wet your brush a little
bit and then just put it in there and then
put it on your eye and you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
In it last all night.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
That is a pro tip right there. You've been in
this industry for so long. What's a hair or makeup
trend that you wish never happened?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Oh my gosh, oh I will add it. I think
a lot of it is the highlights that were the
chunky that went like this, I mean, legit, it.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Was blonde brown, blonde brown right down the park. That
was horrible. Nobody should have ever done that.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I remember those phases.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
All these people on a speaking of guys, they all
have these mullets. I'm like, what are you doing. I
dated guys back in the day that legit had mullets, and.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I'm like, yeah, it's not attractive, Like it's not attractive.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So the mullets need to stay in the mean a barber.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Shop and that's all that we do.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
If there's mullets all the time, I'm like, as long
as that you know what you're so young you probably
want to know.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
But the little what do they.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Call it little the rat tael.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Hottail that will never come back, So.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
We can keep mullets as long as the rat tails.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Stay hotels don't come back. We're good.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Well, Melissa, thank you so much. You've been amazing and
it was just awesome to hear your insight on things.
So just thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Thank you. Now go practice those makeup things I told
you about.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I will. I'll probably be in the bathroom all nights,
but I will try.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Thanks Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Melissa gave us a few tips in there that, like
she said, I have definitely got to try. Give Melissa
a follow on Instagram at melissa'sh like sch l eich
e Er to see all of the looks she does
for her celebrity clients, plus her businesses in Nashville like
Harlur three Beauty Salon. I am living for the energy
(41:19):
from these podcast episodes. I am learning so much, just
as I hope you guys all are as well, and
finding something to take away or feel inspired by in
these Getting to talk with some incredible humans who have
been able to truly pave these amazing pasts has been
very rewarding for me. The women today were inspirational, and
talking about careers, and those are always fun conversations for me,
(41:41):
because sometimes it's hard to find our way, especially when
our careers take up so much of our lives. We
want them to matter and be excited about them. So
I felt like today's episode was very important for anyone
who maybe is struggling and finding that passion that they
want to make a career, or maybe is just in
an awesome career and it's really burnt out right now.
Either way, I hope today's conversations helped you. Next week's
(42:04):
episode is all about friendships. I have on friendship coach
Daniel Bayer Jackson to talk about making friends in adulthood
and how we can ensure we are finding and being
good friends. Then I'll bring on one of my best friends,
Jillian Whitefield, to get personal about our friendship from beginning
to the present. I love y'all so much. Thank you
for listening, Thank you for being here and sharing with
(42:25):
your friends. I hope you guys are enjoying these conversations
as much as I am. Make sure you follow me
at web Girl Morgan. You can also follow the podcast
at Take This Personally and write me questions or advice
you might want answered. There's also an email y'all can
reach out to take this personally podcast at gmail dot com.
Y'all have a fabulous day. I love ya, Goodbye.
Take Personally with Morgan Juelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, y'all, it's Morgan here. This is Take This Personally,
as you just heard. I hope this podcast is helping
you in a way that makes you feel seen and
a little less alone with everything that goes on in
our day to day lives. My goal has been and
will always be to provide a space where people feel
heard and can get help and maybe the only way
they feel comfortable doing that AKA in podcast form. This
(00:41):
episode is all about careers and finding happiness within success.
I have on Ashley Stall, who is a career coach
with years of experience, talking about the best way to
discover your direction in life and how to find fulfillment
in a career. Then Melissa Schleichner joins me. She's a
celebrity makeup and hairstylist known for her salon Parlor three
(01:01):
in Nashville, and of course we're being Carrie Underwood's full
time hair and makeup stylist for over seventeen years. She'll
talk about the unique career path she took and what
the journey looked like for her and how she continues
to evolve today. Ashley Stall is a counter terrorism professional
(01:27):
turned career coach in She's incredibly well versed in well
all things career. She helps clients to find their dream
careers and knows exactly how to set people up for
success in a world of many opportunities. I'm so excited
to be joined by Ashley today. How are you.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I'm so excited to be here. I'm doing great well.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Thanks for coming on. We're just going to dive right in.
How does someone know they are on the right career
path or doing the job that's right for them.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
It's interesting I said in one of the Ted talks
that I gave that there's a lot of reason for
why our gut is called our second brain. You know,
with more than two hundred million neurons our gut, it
literally has the intelligence of a cat or dog's brain.
And so I think there's something really intelligent to when
our stomach sinks, or when we feel pulled towards something
or a nudge towards something, and a lot of the
(02:17):
times we're just disconnected from ourselves, and I think that's
where the real work is.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Wow. I didn't even think about the gut perspective on
diving into a career field, but it totally makes sense.
We listen to our gut with many decision making processes,
so why not at our careers.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, there's a big difference between how something feels mentally
and how something feels physically. I've had so many clients
come into my career coaching practice, or take one of
my courses, or read a book that I've written, and
they've told me they have a job offer and they're
really excited about it. And mentally, there's so many different
boxes that the offer will check. But when I ask them, well,
how do you actually feel about doing this job every day?
(02:55):
A lot of the times people say, oh, well, not
so good, but it's a means to an end. It's
going to get me somewhere. And what they miss is
that that habit of thinking of this is going to
get me somewhere. Those years that you put in to
tick a box or to get enough years on your
resume or LinkedIn profile, those become your life, and that
becomes a habit of being and a habit of thinking
that costs you your own fulfillment. So I think it's
(03:17):
important today to take a look at how do you
actually feel? How are you doing? Really? And there's two
core dynamics that I think exist in anyone's career, and
it's the first thing I look at as a career expert.
The first thing is the what, meaning what are your skills?
Where are you gifted? What's your zone of genius? That
has to do with how you're using your mind, your body,
and your heart throughout the day. That's why the argument
(03:38):
in my book and in my work is not so
much about following your passion. My argument is don't do
what you love, do what you are, because I think
when you do something where you have a natural gift,
you're not pushing a mountain, you're not pushing a river.
You're being you and the world is responding and rewarding
you for it. So that's the first half is really
the function, the responsibility easier doing versus what you're interested in.
(04:02):
You know, you might have an interest in sports or fashion.
That's an excellent backdrop, but you need to first focus
on where are you gifted? So that's the what, and
then I think the second piece is the how. The
how has to do with your core values. Given that
we know that fifty percent of people leave their job,
if not more, with the pandemic because they don't like
their boss. What we can assume to be true is
that how your job looks matters just as much as
(04:24):
what your job is. And knowing that, we can take
a look at our core values. Do you value balance?
What does that mean to you? Really? Defining that? Do
you value achievement? What does that mean to you? Growth?
Really taking a look at the non negotiable principles by
which you live your life. And a common mistake that
people make when they self evaluate, they struggle to self
identify their own core values because they tend to pick
(04:47):
words that represent who they want to be more of
versus who they actually are. So it's really important when
you choose your core values, whether you read my book
or you google a list of them, that you're able
to really say, are these words in days negative of
who I am in my core versus who I want
to be? Who you want to be is useful, but
who you actually are? Those core values are the filters
(05:08):
for your yeses and your nose. So let's say your
core skill set is words, and you know that you're
really good at communication, I would say that's the what
the what of what responsibilities? You're going to be great at?
The second piece of that is to take a look
at are you introverted or extroverted? Do you want to
express that responsibility internally or externally? Do you want to
be in front of people or behind a laptop? These
(05:28):
are the things to ask yourself and then from there,
what does the job set up look like? And that
comes back to your core values?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Super interesting and definitely great to know that you really
need to be in touch with who you are and
yourself as we need us to be in all other
aspects of our life. Super important in our career fields too.
You mention a means to an end for a job,
do you encourage people? There used to be this old
standard of either go after a job you're passionate about
(05:55):
and you probably won't make a lot of money, or
go after a job that you're going to make a
lot of money but you won't be passionate about. Do
you feel like there's still those two divides now or
have we conquered a new level in the career field.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I didn't even know if it's a new level in
the career field as much as a new level of
someone's own consciousness. The truth of the matter is that
there are many jobs out there in times of crisis
are actually huge times of innovation, and no matter how
good or bad you perceive the workforce to look, companies
are always innovating and always hiring, and there's especially room
(06:25):
on top for you to thrive and do well. People
always mistake and believe that because there's a lot of
people doing marketing that they're just like everyone else, when
really there's always room on top for you to shine.
And so I think that the belief that anyone has
that they have to suffer to participate in the workplace
or to thrive financially, I think is outdated. The truth
(06:47):
is you can take a stand for the end. You
can do work that really lines up with who you are,
what your gifts are, and get paid.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
To be you.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
And I think that's really where fulfillment is. One of
the misunderstandings in the workforce is that you should love
your job. I think your job and your career is
a place that you can go to contribute. You can
go to use your gifts and make the workforce better,
make the world better. And I think a lot of
people put the pressure on their career to fulfill their
passion or their calling. When your purpose or your passion
(07:18):
and your calling can be something that's much deeper than
just your job. And while I get that we spend
ninety thousand hours of our waking time on this planet,
that's two thirds of our waking time at work. I
get that we want to make it count, we want
to make it mean something, And yet I think that
there's a way to look at it differently and not
put the pressure of it being your purpose. I always
(07:38):
tell clients or people who listen to my podcast that
the secret to really loving your career is asking yourself.
Number one, are you growing? Is it sharpening a core
skill set that you have that you want to grow
and harness in the workforce? And number two, is it
honoring your core values? Maybe you're using a skill you
want to grow, but maybe you're a salesperson and that's
(07:59):
the right role for you, but you're selling something you
don't believe in. An integrity is a core value for you,
and it's violating a core value. So I think really
taking a look at the harmony between where your gifts
are and what matters to you as principles in your
life is really that starting point.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, for sure, say you want to go after a
new career, but you studied one and it's not turning
out how you wanted. How can you make that pivot
into a new career, maybe without any experience.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I think it's really important to look at the past
of what you've done before and find the common thread
between the past and the future of who you want
to be. Every job is going to have an entire
rainbow of different skills that you've used, and so even
if you've used only ten percent of your time in
your last job in a skill set that's very relevant
for your next one, tune into that ten percent so
(08:45):
that when you communicate about your experience, you're able to
really highlight your relevant experience where you've really made an impact.
I think far too often people list their job duties
as if it's a pie chart of what they've done,
and they listed on their resumes like it's a bunch
of tasks, versus highlighting their relevant experience. Really taking a
look at what have I done that's relevant and how
(09:06):
can I communicate it about it in a way that
makes sense for where I'm headed.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Also sounds like when you're applying to these jobs, you
can't just have one blanket resume for each one. It's
like you need to customize it for those jobs as well. Yeah,
I still think that.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
We live in a world where networking is really crucial,
but absolutely I also think that you can't really escape
tailoring your resume. People feel it when you're just spraying
and praying with your resume. It's not going to resonate.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Spraying and praying. That's quite the phrase. I love it.
Making the leap to a new job can also be
super scary. How can one know or feel that they're
making the right move for themselves, because that's a really
terrifying place to be, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I think that life is really an experiment and you
need to be willing to take what you know and
with the best of your knowledge, move forward fulfilling. A
successful career has three lily pads, is what I've found.
The first lily pad is kind of what the majority
of the workforce unfortunately chooses to be in, which is
they're fine, and they're fine with being fine, and maybe
they don't love what they do, they like it enough
(10:12):
or it pays the bills and they stay there. There's
a certain population that swims from lily pad one to
lily pad two. Which is where my work really is
geared to take people. That's about really figuring out where
you're a gifted and where your talents are. So if
you're willing to swim from being fine to really finding
your gifts, you need to go through an unknown and
an experimental period. Clarity comes from engagement. It's never gonna
(10:34):
just come from thinking. You can't think. It's like rocking
in a rocking chair, just thinking and ending up in
the same place. Ultimately, a certain level of thinking got
you to where you are, and as Albert Einstein has
set in many of his quotables, you need to do
something new to get somewhere new. That comes down to experimenting.
So in order to get to that second lily pad,
(10:55):
there comes a point where you need to say this
feels like it's aligned with my core skill set and
really understand your core skill set is a huge umbrella
with many different options beneath it and many different ways
of expressing yourself beneath it. And once you lock into
a role that's using your gifts, people notice your magic
because it's actually rare, unfortunately, to see someone in a
(11:16):
role where they're really aligned with their skills and you
know it. If you think about your work right now
or your team right now, you know there's one person
that comes to mind where they're really shining because they're
locked in with their skill set and people always want
to get And that's the thing. A lot of research
shows that the most talented and high impact person is
the most burnt out person because people see how gifted
(11:37):
they are and they want to give them more work
because they can trust them to get it done with
a lot of shine on it. And so I think
going into that experimental period trying things on that gets
you onto that second lily pad where you're working in
your zone of genius, and from there life becomes a
game of opportunities. You start to sift between your yeses
and your nose because once people start to see someone
(11:57):
really talented, they start to ask them and offer them
different opportunities. And the thing with opportunities is that they
can be a very high form of distraction because sometimes
opportunities are a yes for you, other times they're just
distracting you and they're not actually what you're meant for.
So your job when you get to that second lily
pad and you finally have experimented enough to land in
a role that's really using your skills and showing your
(12:19):
gifts and your shining is to be able to say
yes to the right things for you, be a little
more discerning about who you really are, what your values are,
what your skills are, and how you want to be growing.
And once you find that right opportunity, you have an
opportunity to swim over to the third lily pad. And
not everybody makes it there. I believe that that lily
pad is kind of what they would call your dharma
(12:40):
you're calling, and I've only been there once in my career.
When I was writing my book, it felt like time
didn't exist. Words were just flying through my fingers as
I was typing for deadlines with my publisher. It was
like this magical experience that was beyond me and it
felt like soul work. And I think a fulfilling life
doesn't have to get you to that part where you're
really doing your dharma, but I wish for everyone to
(13:02):
at least have an opportunity to access that human experience.
And I would say, you really can't get there unless
you're willing to experiment, to engage, to try on different things,
and it doesn't mean you need to be reckless, you
need to be thoughtful. But yeah, I would say remembering
that life is an experiment. Life is a numbers game,
and in a lot of the ways that we put
(13:23):
pressure on ourselves in our career, it's almost like the
equivalent of us saying to someone in preschool your first crush,
you better marry them, you better get it right. That's
kind of how we are with our career. It's like
your first job opportunity, you better love it and grow it,
versus you are entering a portal of experimentation to find
yourself through your work. If you're not willing to step
into that quest, it's probably going to be a little
(13:45):
less fulfilling than what you would want it to be.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Well, I now want this interview on the podcast to
be encouraging people to jump onto their new lily pads.
I've never heard of that metaphor or example of what
that looks like, and I really hope people are dumping
on their new lilypads. That will be my new hope
for coming out of this interview. You also mentioned some burnout,
(14:08):
talking about how people can experience that, especially when they're
really utilizing all of their skill sets, and it's something
that exists in many career fields. How can one and
maybe that person who has honed into their skill set
avoid reaching burnout?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah, this is an incredible question because the majority of
the workforce is disengaged and burnt out. And I've never
seen so many mental health challenges come into my work,
whether it's through students in my programs or whatever have you.
I think there's four core tenets of burnout that anyone
can look at, beyond walking on a path that isn't
yours and really realizing that when you are actually burnt out,
(14:43):
and there's different levels of it, you are working out
of a different brain. When you have true burnout, certain
tasks that used to be easy for you become difficult
because your brain literally looks different if you get a
brain scan. One cause, I think is a lack of community.
There's so much research to show the power of having
community and support, and if you don't have communal support,
(15:03):
more often than not, that is a cause of burnout.
Another part is a lack of sleep, and this is
something that we talk about with Emily aires And on
the U Turn podcast. She's an expert on this and
she talks in this episode with me about these causes.
Lack of sleep is a very obvious part of the
human experience that a lot of us go through. It
is crucial and it goes without saying that we need it,
(15:24):
and a lot of people think that they can curb
their sleep, stay up late, but eventually we all crash,
we all get burnout. Another piece is a lack of purpose.
It's really hard for today's worker to do work without
feeling like it has any sense of meaning in the world.
I remember Karl Marx at the wake of the Industrial Revolution.
He talked about how people going from building an entire
(15:45):
chair to just being in a factory focusing on something
like the leg of a chair, a leg after a
leg after like was kind of the end of fulfillment,
of having a complete project or seeing the full purpose
or fulfillment in your work. If I think if a
lot of people in today's workforce feel like they're just
a piece of a puzzle and that what they're doing
doesn't matter, eventually there's a sense of burnout to that.
I think we're all wired to feel like what we
(16:05):
do counts, and there are ways, even though there's menial
tasks in the workforce or even as an entrepreneur, there
are ways to make sure that your team or you
feel motivated. And then I think the final piece is
a lack of agency. And this one is huge, and
I heard a lot about this during the pandemic, feeling
a lack of agency or a lack of power. I
had a client come into my private practice and she
(16:25):
was talking about she worked for a global cosmetics brand
and there were extreme shipping delays due to COVID, and
so even though they weren't her fault, she was at
the forefront of million dollar purchase orders and only a
half a million dollars worth of product would make it
to the client because there'd be a shipping delay on
the other half, and she was taking the heat for that.
It's a very perfect example of a lack of agency
(16:47):
caused by the pandemic, caused by her workplace, and she
wasn't being given resources by her workplace or tools to
be able to deal with and navigate the unhappy customers,
and it would eventually fall on her and cost her
her own fulfillment. So if you have a lack of agency,
a lack of purpose, a lack of sleep, a lack
of community, or you're working on a path that really
isn't meant to be yours. These are all signs that
(17:08):
eventually burnout is going to hit you, and there's different levels.
One thing to know is that there is disability programs
for you if you are in a depression spiral, if
you need mental health support, and you can get a
psychiatrist or a doctor to sign off on you needing
a medical leave of absence, and you have the right
in most states not to have to share what that
medical leave is, and to take a certain percent, if
(17:31):
not all, of your pay during a determined amount of
time that you have off to recover. Employers can no
longer get away with having you work for people's jobs
because they had so many people quit during the Great
Resignation and they didn't fill those roles. That can't go
on you anymore. And right now we're hearing a term
called the quiet quitters, and a lot of people think
(17:52):
that term means somebody's ghosting their job, they're leaving without notice,
But quiet quitters are actually the people who are quietly
stopping the practice of overworking, of working beyond the scope
of their role, and a lot of employers might think
this is a bummer for them, but this is actually
great news because people without quiet quitting are burning out
and fully quitting, and so quiet quitter's setting boundaries, I
(18:14):
think is a real healing tool for the workplace, in
the workforce and is going to translate into a lot
more happiness and satisfaction amongst workers and retention for employers.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, I'm glad you touched on that quiet counting term.
It's all over social media and I think the younger
generation has learned from our mistakes, and I love to
see that. We talk a little bit about being in
jobs that you love. If you're in that job that
you love and you feel like you're stuck and you
can't advance your career in that job you love, what
are some tips or advice you may have for someone
(18:46):
who's in that position, Because yes, getting out of a
job and going to one is something, but also being
in a job you love and just wanting to be
promoted and do something new is also a very real thing.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I had a professor and researcher on the U Turn podcast.
His name was Dan Cable, and he talked about how
to feel more alive in your job and he talks
about this huge body of work called job crafting, which
kind of sounds like Star Wars or something like that.
What's really powerful about it, it's kind of how you
turn a bland job into a grand job. Job Crafting
is really the practice of asking yourself, what is my
(19:19):
core skill set and how can I initiate a project
that helps me sharpen that superpower and that gift that
is of high value to my employer. So that's one
thing you can do on a personal level, something that
you can add your resume at your employer conversations if
you ever search for a new job. The other half
of your question around getting promoted, sometimes you need to
be blunt and actually set up a meeting with your manager.
(19:40):
And one mistake that a lot of employers make is
that they're casual about it. They'll stop someone in the
hallway and say, hey, I was thinking about my growth.
You need to respect that you want to grow and
set this up as an official meeting, emailing your boss
and saying hey, I have some ideas about what's possible
for the year ahead, and I would love to have
a formal meeting with you to explore what's possible with them,
(20:00):
do you have any time in the following week let
me know that way, when you come to the meeting,
you want to have a few things on hand. You
want to have some bullet points of some accomplishments you've
already had that you're really proud of, areas that you've
maybe exceeded your job responsibilities, and you want to have
some ideas for the future. And maybe one of those
ideas is job crafting. It's a project that you want
to take on. It's a matter of the heart and
(20:20):
it's something of extraordinary value. But what's important is that
people don't just promote you because it's time to promote you.
You get more because you're doing or giving more. And
that more could be a vision, and so you really
want to enroll your manager in a vision of what
you see is possible for them and possible for you.
So really set that time aside, take some time before
(20:41):
the meeting to really write down those achievements of the
past where you've exceeded expectations, what you think is a
vision for the future, and be prepared to really enthusiastically
show them what's possible, and from there ask them, hey,
if I'm able to achieve these things in the year
coming up. Are you able to revisit my salary? I
did some research and this is the compensation level for
this level of responsibility, and I would love to explore it.
(21:02):
Talking about money is something that I think more people
need to talk about as if they're ordering a sandwich
at a sandwich shop, just very neutrally, because a market
compensation rate is a number that's based on what your
contribution is and it's that neutral.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Wow. Yes, I do believe that we should be talking
about numbers more. Even if it may be a little
scary to share that about you and hear others, it
is an important tool to have for yourself in the
long run. I do agree. We're talking about these different
job aspects, how you can get into a job, how
to leave a job, how to change careers. There's one
hot topic though, that I definitely want your opinion on.
(21:36):
Do you feel that work life balance is a real thing?
Because there are also people out there that believe if
you're not working, then your competition is you got to
work harder and do put on all these hours. Talking
about the burnout. It all goes hand in hand. But
can we find the best work life balance and actually
benefit us and our employers.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay, so work life balance has two core facets. Think
the first piece is what you actually need on the outside,
and the second piece is what does it really mean
for you on the inside. And I feel like that
hustle culture really burns people out. The reality is it's
actually okay to just be Okay, you can be maintaining,
you can just be where you are. I think the
second piece is to really take a look at if
(22:19):
you're what does fine mean for you? What does great
mean for you? What does balance mean for you? For
some people, balance looks like nine to five. We also
live in a time of polywork. This originally was started
by the millennial generation and they did it to keep
the lights on, where they'd take multiple jobs and piece
them together to pay the bills. Now gen Z has
been using polywork more so as a way to express
(22:40):
themselves and to look at all their nuances. So what
that looks like is saying to themselves, Okay, what are
the different facets of me. I want to work in
the film industry. I want to do the creative side
of things. What are three different jobs part time that
I could do to deepen my understanding of this entire
skill set and niche that I want to be in.
So I think it's more important than ever to question
that hustle culture and to check in with what does
(23:02):
balance and success really mean for you?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Wonderful. I think that's such a great point for us
to end on, as people can sit with that and
think about their own lives and what they're doing with
their career. So, Ashley, I just want to thank you
so much again for joining me. It's been wonderful to
have you on.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Ashley has many resources for people to check out. She
has online courses, a book called You Turn, Get Unstuck,
Discover your Direction, Design your Dream Career, and the U
Turn podcast wherever you listen to podcasts, So definitely check
out all of these things or connect with Ashley if
you're looking to elevate the career aspect of your life.
(23:50):
Melissa Schleichner is an incredibly talented hair and makeup artist
in Nashville. She owns the famously known salon Parlor three,
as well as several other businesses that spun from not Salon.
She is a full time hair and makeup artist to
carry Underwood, and the rest of her clientele includes Alan Jackson,
Brad Paisley, Leanne, Willmack, Rascal Flats, just to.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Name a few.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I know so many Thanks for being with me today, Melissa.
How are you.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'm great? Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.
Congrats to you for.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Doing this, So excited to talk with people like you
and just hear your stories, because I think it's important
to share some of the journey behind the success that
we see. So have you always known what you're doing
now is what you wanted to do for your career?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Since I was a little girl, I was the only child,
so I would play with my bories, that's my thing was,
and my mom would get so mad at me because
I would cut their hair as soon as I would
get them. Or I would take a black sharpie and
draw a liquid elanor before liquid eleanor was even around.
But I always knew since I was a little girl,
I had a pair of scissors.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
And went for it.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
As you were growing up, was there a path for
you already there or did you have to create your own?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
To create my own when I was younger, that's just
what I wanted to do. But like in high school
and stuff, they had beauty school, but it's not really
the class.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
You wanted to go to in high school.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
You didn't want to really kind of be the one
in high school going to beauty school. There wasn't a
lot of options back then to where there are now.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, for sure, was it beauty school meaning like I
saw in Greece? Is that what you're referring to?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yeah, pretty much, maybe a little worse.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
So in a way, you kind of taught yourself. It
sounds like to be where you are right now.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I mean when I was eleven years old, I was
cutting up boy's hair in my neighborhood or just my
mom was like I'm going out to get eleven like
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Or as we.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Got older, like thirteen fourteen, I was like I had
to do everybody's hair for events.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Back then, did your parents support you doing that or
were they kind of like you should might check out
a few other careers, maybe not go down this path.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, I wasn't the perfect child, and I kind of belonged.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
In that beauty school. I didn't love school, and I
always knew what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I actually quit high school at the end of my
tenth grade year, and my dad was a school teacher,
so that didn't go over too well, right, and he's like, well,
if you're going to go to beauty school, you're gonna
pay for it. So my dad actually made me sign
up and he made me pay for it. So I
went to beauty school.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
That's what I did. I quit high school. I loved
it so much.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I was like.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Thriving in beauty school. But I was the girl that
dropped out of high school.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
And that had to be hard for you. You were
changing the norm of what it looked like, especially in
your family. What did that feel like for you at
that time?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
I felt like everybody's like, she's never going to amount
to anything, you know what I mean. I mean it's
what it is like back then. It's like, oh, you're
going to be a hairstylist. They don't make any money.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I'm like, well, what was that first connection that happened
for you? I listed so many of the country music
starts you were working with. When did that begin and
what did that look like to even get your foot
in that door?
Speaker 4 (26:52):
So it started there was another makeup artist, Melanie. There
was not very many makeup artists.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
When I was started for the celebrities, there was a
girl named Melanie Shelley and I was kind of her assistant,
and I would do people when she couldn't do it,
and she was just amazing. She was working with the
Dixie Chicks, Al Jackson, LeAnn Walmack, all these different people. Well,
she got super busy with the Dixie Chicks, so I
would go do Alan Jackson for her or different people,
(27:17):
and you know, it just kind of evolves where it wasn't.
They liked me, but she was just really busy at
the time. My first real client was Alan Jackson.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
And what does that look like doing makeup for a
male artist, because a lot of people are like, oh, makeup, hair,
it's all female.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I love male grooming, like it's easy, but it's also
I mean, you think, oh, just slaps some powdery.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
It's not that easy.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
They're going on TV. You have to make sure everything
looks great. They're brows and all the good things. But
I love male grooming so much.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
How did the connection to Carrie happen?
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Carrie was this girl on American Idol. I didn't watch
TV much.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I was weren't busy doing my freelance stuff here, Alan Jackson,
LeAnn Walmack, all these people. And my daughter Hunter was
watching American Idol when Bo and Carrie were on there
she won, which my daughter was obsessed with carry and
I said, oh, Honter, they called me for.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
That girl you love on American Idol for her first
Afrey debut.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
She's like, Mom, you have to do it. And so
I had Alan Jackson that night. So I actually was like, okay,
I can come get her ready, but I have to leave.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
So I did it. Didn't think anything about it.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I just did it for my daughter that was eleven
years old at the time, to get an autograph. And
then I think like two weeks later, I was working
with other artists. They were kind of slowing down, and
they called me for like thirty dates for Carrie and
I was like, oh, okay, I liked her, she's great,
and then it just it went from there.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Wow, you were there at the very beginning of that career,
and that has to be really cool, not only as
a stylist and an artist, but just as someone who's
gotten to see her thrive throughout so many years. What
has your guys' friendship also kind of looked like, because
that has to be a close relationship.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
It is.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You know, I've been with her since she was young.
I've been through it all with her. I've been through everything,
you know. It's still amazes me today. I met her
when she she was twenty. I don't even know she
was twenty something and I had a young daughter. But
it's like I was her big sister. She's the same
girl mel long time ago, and she's.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
To hear that about your favorite country artists, and that's
even cooler to know about Carrie, who really is a
mega superstars.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Really been awesome to watch her evolve over the years.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And you know, I've been around for seventeen years with
her doing hair and makeups, like what am I going
to do next? But we always come up with something,
you know, and she never I was like, what are
you gonna do? She's like, I don't care, and she's
so easy and I'm like, okay, so it's all on me.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
I gotta figure this out, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
And that is a difficult thing with your career. Something
that maybe people don't realize is you were always having
to stay up with current things and trending stuff that's
happening in hair and makeup. So how do you make
sure that you were always evolving?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Owning a salon helps me do that because I see
all these young girls coming in and we all learn
off of each other. Like I'll be the sn for
a day and I'm like, oh, I love what you
just did with that hair.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Let me try that. So it is helpful to watch
these young girls that are coming in my salon or
ones that have been here for ten years, just seeing something.
They We all learn off of each other. And of
course I look at magazines and what's coming up or whatever.
I just create.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I never really plan out what I'm doing. I just
say what's the outfit today, and then we just we go.
I have everything in my kit you could ever want,
from ryn stones to glitter to hair pieces.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
It weighs a lot, but I have everything I need.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I think it's really cool to hear that you're looking
at the younger generations and seeing inspiration rather than competition.
I think that's awesome. Speaks to how successful you are
and what you've been able to do and accomplish in
your career. You are quite a business guru, I would say,
looking at your bio and everything you've done and all
the businesses you've opened. What is it like for you
(30:55):
to be a woman owned business at this time?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I open partli T three almost eleven years ago. It
was for to open a makeup store. That's all I
wanted was a makeup store. And then it just evolved
to a hair salon. And then I had friends everywhere
that were hair stets. I'm like, I should just do
a salon. I have this pick space.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Definitely struggles along the way, and I am.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Always like, ooh, let's do this, let's do this. Adding
on businesses, it's definitely a struggle, but I love it.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I love a challenge every day. COVID was hard. I
have sixty five employees or more between my three businesses.
That was really tough.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
But we survived and we came out and we're doing great.
I'm proud to be a woman owned business. I'm proud
of it and I love I think what makes my
heart happy is seeing all these young girls and guys thrive.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
It took me a long time to make great money.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Struggle like I would do stuff for free when I
started out, you know, or our day rates are not
like they were back in the day. You know, I'm like, oh,
I made one hundred and fifty dollars, you know what
I mean. I think that's what I love about the
salon is like they graduate and they go to hunter
Page or the barbers are doing this and that, and
I just love it.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
You mentioned the struggles, and that's definitely something I'm trying
to highlight in this podcast. Is just addressing that everything
is in a clear line and it's really hard to
get where we are and Instagram makes everything look pretty,
but that's not the reality.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So I mean a lot of sleepless nights owning a business,
I mean, it really is, or somebody's decided to leave,
or you know, it's a lot of struggles, or every
day I have one to four buildings. Something's wrong every day,
my poor husband. I'm like, done, Lautilla, it's not working.
It partly done.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
Hunter Page is the likes. It's just a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Is there one struggle that kind of sticks out for
you where it happened and you didn't think maybe this
was going to work or you were going to have
to change the way you were doing things.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
When I had to back down working with everybody because
I had so many clients and I'm a people pleaser always.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
What would happen is I would have Rascal Flats. Their
lat album just launched, so I would do all this
TV stuff with them. Then I would have Carrie, then
I'll have an Alan and never had a break.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
So I had my salons, but I was also traveling
all the time, just trying.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
To take care of everybody else but not myself.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And so that was my breaking point of you know what,
you're important too. You know you could take care of
everybody else. But that's when I kind of chose Carrie
is just easy, she really is, and she's just been
so good to me, and it's easy to go work,
so I never I enjoy my job when I don't
look at it as a job and it's like we
go travel and we have front But that's the struggle.
I think that was my breaking point. I loved every
(33:36):
single person I worked with, but I had to take
care of me.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, that's a very important lesson and it's very easy,
especially for someone who's an entrepreneur, has an entrepreneur spirit
to just drive and work and put every type of
business and success ahead of them. What were those feelings
that you experienced as this breaking point was happening.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Failure, like, Okay, I'm gonna lose my salon or I'm
gonna have to pick here, like and i'mna have to
pick and choose. But I didn't have to give up Carrie,
you know. So I was like, Okay, I can still
keep my feet in there, but still have my salon
taken care of. It was cry a lot of crying
nights going I'm gonna have to tell clients that I've
been with for years that I just can't do this anymore.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Honestly, it was a relief for me doing that, but
it was hard.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You also, even too, have side projects. I have one
of your paintings hanging up in my bedroom. You do,
I do, and that was what turned me on to
you in the first place. So you have all these
side projects too. So did break away from certain things,
but then you added some new projects on how did
that happen?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Crazy?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
You know how I hair pictures on Instagram or social media.
You need a good background, right, So I was like
one day, I was like, I'm gonna go to Michael's
and I'm gonna buy some canvases. My mom was with me,
and she goes, well, let's just go by it was
cold outside. I get all this paint, spent so much money,
and I set it up in my dining room on
my dining room table and just started painting and in
shower for two days.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
And then I started posting it on like social media
and everybody's like, oh my gosh, I want one, and
I'm like what. So then I had them hung up
in this sale and this lady was a client at
parlor and.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
She's like, whose art is that?
Speaker 1 (35:12):
And they were like, well, that's Melissa, the owners, and
she's like, does she want to reproduce it for Kirkland
the start that I've shopped at when my mom says
I was a little girl, And I'm like absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yes, so yeah wow.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
And then they sold out of all my I think
they did four pieces and sold it at Kirklands all
over the country and I'm.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Like, okay, that was cool.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
No, I love that. And it's just goes to show
who you are as a person, how you're just always
evolving and always creating. And I think that's a really
cool thing for people to hear and see. There's going
to be young people I'm sure that hear this and
if you could give them advice. Maybe they have a
spirit like yours, very entrepreneurial. Maybe you want to pave
(35:53):
their own path. What are some advice you would give
them if they're starting that journey.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Don't give up and don't letting me tell you you
can't go for it. Don't anybody stop you, and just
try to do your best at what you just shoot
for the stars.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Man, that's great, and it's even just hearing it from you.
You have a smile on your face while you're saying
all this too. You're just a light.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
My first paycheck was more than my dad's That was
a school teacher. So I framed it and with a
picture of me and said I turned out okay.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
If nothing else worked after that point, at least that happened.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
I made more than you did, like em in the
first like two weeks of being in a one.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I think it's so cool that we can do things
that we're passionate about and excited about. And you've done that.
You've made an entire career life and business out of that.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I just like being around people. I love people, and
just being in these businesses make me happy. I'll be
sad one day when I'm not here, but just seeing
all these people, it's it's really awesome.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I believe that. I want to ask you some questions,
just for fun and being the expert that you are
in hair and makeup. What's your favorite overall beauty brand
to use?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
There's so many.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Okay, you can give me like a top three.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Something that I'm kind of obsessed with right now. A foundation.
It's the Lady Gaga Foundation. I'm just telling you, it's amazing.
It's so good. Her new line is incredible. It's my
new favorite foundation. Glitter is important.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Is there a brand that you love of glitter?
Speaker 4 (37:19):
I love the Pat McGrath palettes. They're the glittery. It's
called Vanny Cosmetics. It's like a wet I just got
the palette like last week and I'm so excited to play.
I actually have some of my eyes today, but it's
like a wet glitter and it doesn't move.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Okay, yes, I need that in my life. I'm all
about the glitter. I say, there's never enough glitter in
my life.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I'm a golder. I like everything gold. I love Keros
Doss products orbe I love Warbey.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
These are great because these are a lot of things
I've never heard of, so I'm loving it. Yeah. Also, Melissa,
I'll be honest with you, I'm really bad about following
trends and hair and makeup. I'm really good about just
making sure I'm always presentable and I feel good.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
You've always beautiful.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Always see you and you always looks out. Saw you
on Instagram and stuff, and you're an evince. The night
that you interview Carria, you look absolutely stunning.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I'll tell you about that night, really funny story. I
was like, I'm not really sure who we're going to
be interviewing tonight. I'll be cool if we just talk
to a few people. Threw on a dress I had
in the closet and I was like, it'll be great.
And then I see Carrie and I'm like, crap, I
really should gust to the nines.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
You looked amazing. I saw you in the carpet. I
was back there, and you look incredible.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
No, you're too sweet. But hey, compared to you guys,
you're over there killing it. I'm trying to keep up
over here.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Hey, lashes just start here and lashes on. If you
can learn to do some lashes their lashes on.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
That's what I was going to ask you for someone
like me who's just really it's really hard for me
to stay in the trends. Yeah, that's something just super
easy to do with my hair and makeup. That just
kind of elevates an entire weep.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Your brows always groomed, that is very important. Always keep
it go, get your brows wax, get that taken care.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Like, you look beautiful right now.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
But hey, we're out there, we're all trying to serve now.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
But just add the.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Little dark car going out like in the crease. Like
you know, I always say it's like a V writ
in here, right, So tag it like a dark brown
or black, and put it in your crease like think
of a V right here, and then add a little glitter,
put a mask scar on.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
You're good to go.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I love it. See easy tips. I'm here for easy tips.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
And hey, let me tell you something else too.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
So if you have a makeup palette like a shadow,
anything that shimmers and has a shimmer, you wet it
and when you put on there, it doesn't move.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Okay, don't oversaturate. You'll see what I want you to
go play with it now anytime you like a palette, right,
and it's got shimmer in it.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Matt, do not do, Matt, wet your brush a little
bit and then just put it in there and then
put it on your eye and you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
In it last all night.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
That is a pro tip right there. You've been in
this industry for so long. What's a hair or makeup
trend that you wish never happened?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Oh my gosh, oh I will add it. I think
a lot of it is the highlights that were the
chunky that went like this, I mean, legit, it.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Was blonde brown, blonde brown right down the park. That
was horrible. Nobody should have ever done that.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I remember those phases.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
All these people on a speaking of guys, they all
have these mullets. I'm like, what are you doing. I
dated guys back in the day that legit had mullets, and.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I'm like, yeah, it's not attractive, Like it's not attractive.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So the mullets need to stay in the mean a barber.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Shop and that's all that we do.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
If there's mullets all the time, I'm like, as long
as that you know what you're so young you probably
want to know.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
But the little what do they.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Call it little the rat tael.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Hottail that will never come back, So.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
We can keep mullets as long as the rat tails.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Stay hotels don't come back. We're good.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Well, Melissa, thank you so much. You've been amazing and
it was just awesome to hear your insight on things.
So just thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Thank you. Now go practice those makeup things I told
you about.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I will. I'll probably be in the bathroom all nights,
but I will try.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Thanks Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Melissa gave us a few tips in there that, like
she said, I have definitely got to try. Give Melissa
a follow on Instagram at melissa'sh like sch l eich
e Er to see all of the looks she does
for her celebrity clients, plus her businesses in Nashville like
Harlur three Beauty Salon. I am living for the energy
(41:19):
from these podcast episodes. I am learning so much, just
as I hope you guys all are as well, and
finding something to take away or feel inspired by in
these Getting to talk with some incredible humans who have
been able to truly pave these amazing pasts has been
very rewarding for me. The women today were inspirational, and
talking about careers, and those are always fun conversations for me,
(41:41):
because sometimes it's hard to find our way, especially when
our careers take up so much of our lives. We
want them to matter and be excited about them. So
I felt like today's episode was very important for anyone
who maybe is struggling and finding that passion that they
want to make a career, or maybe is just in
an awesome career and it's really burnt out right now.
Either way, I hope today's conversations helped you. Next week's
(42:04):
episode is all about friendships. I have on friendship coach
Daniel Bayer Jackson to talk about making friends in adulthood
and how we can ensure we are finding and being
good friends. Then I'll bring on one of my best friends,
Jillian Whitefield, to get personal about our friendship from beginning
to the present. I love y'all so much. Thank you
for listening, Thank you for being here and sharing with
(42:25):
your friends. I hope you guys are enjoying these conversations
as much as I am. Make sure you follow me
at web Girl Morgan. You can also follow the podcast
at Take This Personally and write me questions or advice
you might want answered. There's also an email y'all can
reach out to take this personally podcast at gmail dot com.
Y'all have a fabulous day. I love ya, Goodbye.
Host
Morgan Huelsman
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