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October 13, 2025 • 38 mins

What started as an idea born from personal experience has become a movement. The founders of Dateability, a dating app designed for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, join Morgan to talk about their journey, from navigating health challenges to creating a space where everyone can experience love without stigma. They share what it means to choose joy, how their platform is changing lives, and the exciting milestone of Dateability’s first wedding in 2026. đź’Ť

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally with.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Ygan Fuelsman. I know some of you may be bummed
that the Boyfriend Birthday series is over, and I'm not
saying the Boyfriend won't be back another time or two,
but we got to get back to some regularly scheduled programming.
The series kind of came out of nowhere. I wasn't
exactly sure how I was going to place these, but
it ended up being so perfect. So for this episode
and for next, I have two groups of sisters. One

(00:39):
group of sisters created an app that's changing the way
people date, especially in the chronic illness and disability community,
and the other group of sisters is changing the world
with human trafficking survivors and helping them get back on
their feet. So both of these two sets of sisters
have done incredible things. This week, you're gonna hear from
Jacqueline and Alexa Child. They founded the app Datability, and

(01:02):
it's something that I think everybody can get on board with,
not even if you're in the dating space anymore, but
maybe you know somebody who is. I think this app
will be a great foundation for a whole lot of people. So,
without further ado, let's get into this interview. Sisters, Jacqueline

(01:25):
and Alexa Child are joining me this week, and I'm
really excited because they've created something so awesome. So first
of all, Jacqueline Alexa, thank you guys for joining me.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Thank you so much for having us. You're really excited.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I can't wait to hear this whole story. So you
guys created an app called Datability, and I don't even
want to say anything without you guys just sharing your
story and this app and what it is. So let's
start there. Tell everyone how this even got created. Who
you guys are, all that good stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
So Datability is the only dating app for disabled and
chronically ill people, And it came about because of my
personal experiences dating as a disabled woman. And so I
became disabled due to chronic illnesses when I was fourteen,
and once I entered adulthood and started using the dating apps,
I found that dating with a disability is really hard

(02:14):
and intimidating and negative, just overall toxic. And I couldn't
believe that there wasn't a place to meet people like me,
Like the only places that felt like you could meet
other chronically ill or disabled people was like support groups
or like clinical settings, and that just wasn't my vibe,

(02:34):
and so we really wanted to create a place where
people could meet others and connect and just really make
dating an equitable experience for our community.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Wow yeah, and talk about something that's going from your
own personal experience and then trying to create a better
situation not just for you but for others. So you
have this experience, what was that like for you when
you were dating and you were going out and you
did have a disabilit What was that experience like for you?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
It was it was.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Tricky because I have invisible disabilities. I mean I appear
totally non disabled on the outside. If I'm fully clothed
and just walking down the street, someone would never know
I was disabled. So I had sort of the blessing
and the curse where I could hide it. But then

(03:23):
what does that mean for when it is time to disclose?
And how would I do that? How much would I tell?
And so sometimes I would just really like nonchalantly mention it,
and it almost always backfired and the person would end
up rejecting me. Sometimes I would be totally honest and
really tell them I have undergone over forty surgeries and

(03:48):
this is my reality, and that would also result in rejection.
And you know, there were I did start dating one
guy and he seemed to be pretty accepting, and then
when he told his a mom that I was disabled,
she was not accepting and she convinced him to break
up with me and end it because she said she
didn't want her son to have to live a miserable

(04:10):
life dating someone with medical conditions.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
And I imagine the turmoil that you went through emotionally
because of that.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Just you have been the one who's had this lived experience.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
You're the person who's been in the entire situation the
whole time. You know what it entails, and you know
you didn't need people to tell you, but I can
imagine that that emotional toll that that took on you,
that every time you had to keep your living.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
It was also hard, absolutely and it really affected my
self esteem.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I it just became this like shell of a person.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
I didn't want to be curious or explore my surroundings.
I was like, I like people put me in the
box of being a disabled person and that's where I'm
going to stay, and.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
That's really like all I should be known for.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
And it was really hard, and it took a couple
of years years, and it actually really kind of took
the pandemic to get me out out of that rut
and just sort of explore and be be more curious
about what life looks like living with a disability.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Absolutely. Now, Alexa, where do you come into the picture
into this. From what I've read, you do not have
a disability. But what's your role in all of this?

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, I do not.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I don't have a disability or chronic illness. But I'm
Jacqueline's older sister. I'm older by four years in twelve days,
and so I'm very protective and always have been. And
I think that that protectiveness, you know, increased when she
got sick and had I saw her going through struggles
that I had never witnessed before, you know, with friends
or other family members. We've lived together. When after she

(05:45):
graduated college, she moved in with me in Denver, and
that's when she started dating and getting told these things
and going through these experiences, and they were completely opposite
from my dating experiences.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Dating does stuck across the board and it's hard.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
But I never had to worry about the things that
she was worrying about, you know, whether I'd be discriminated
against because of a diagnosis, or if I would even
make it to the first date based on talking to
me on the apps. And so it really it was
sad to watch her go through this and to change
and to you know, feel less than and then to
see her date guys who liked her that were so

(06:22):
out of her.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
She was way out of their league.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
They were out of ear league too, but they did
not deserve her at all, not worthy.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
It bugged me.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
And then the pandemic hit and I ended up losing
my job due to COVID related budget cuts, and Jacqueline
was getting a feeding tube, and it made me panic
a little bit about what her social life and especially
dating would look like after that. And that's when I said, like,
let's make this space that you've been looking for ourselves.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
No one else is going to do it, clearly, and
so let's just do it.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
I'm a lawyer, so I maybe we can either create
or solve problems, and I'm the ladder and most of
the time, and so we that's what we did, and
we planned it when she was in the hospital recovering
our feeding too surgery.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Wow, okay, so you are in the hospital, you just
had your feeding tube surgery. You're thinking about, okay, what
this lifestyle change is doing. But also at the same time,
you guys were like, how do we create an app
to help other people?

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, I mean that's pretty much it.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
We googled how to create I literally googled how do
you build an app? Because I'm technologically challenged less so
now but never I mean none of us have a
technical background, so that was out of our wheelhouse.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, it was a really.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
Good distraction for recovery, and it gave me something to
look forward to.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
It gave me this sense of purpose. And you know, we.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
We really didn't know what we were getting into, but
that was the start. That's the best low expectations. You know,
you set the bar low, you're most likely going to
be pleasantly surprised or at least you won't be disappointed.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah, and that's where we you know, that's where we
found ourselves. This has taking off way more than we expected.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
So then were you the first user on the app?

Speaker 3 (07:57):
Also, it's really funny technically, yes, but it's throughout all
of this I've learned that, you know, like creating a
business is very time consuming and it doesn't leave that
much time for dating, and so I haven't been able
to use it as much as I wanted. But it
does feel different like dating because now I'm single by

(08:18):
choice and I'm dating on my terms.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
And before, like Alexa said, like I would, I would
date anyone who wanted to date me.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
My standards were very low, and now I feel like
I can be picky and that's really important to me.
And it's important for the community to have standards and
to really just realize that they deserve the love that
everyone else is looking.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
For too well, and across the board in dating in general,
it's easy for us to be convinced that our standards
need to be lowered due to the environment that's out
there and what we see on social media. People are like,
lower your standards, you have too high of expectations, or well,
that's normal. I remember when I was sitting in my
therapist's office one time, and I had been cheated on

(09:01):
and pretty much every relationship I was in. I was like, so,
what I'm feeling is that I'm just gonna have to
be cheated on, right, Like, that's I just have to
accept that as part of my life. And she kept
repeating to me no, but that was my mentality, right.
And I think it's really sad in general in the
dating space that we've created this environment where you should

(09:21):
expect to have lower standards and it's okay to have
lower standards when the reality is exactly what you're saying,
Jacqueline is, especially with someone who's dealing with a disability
or a chronic illness, that the exception is what we
should strive for, not the latter.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah, And people would always tell me like it would
take someone really special to like to date me. Basically
that was like very weird thing to wrap my head around.
I was like, I, I guess shouldn't take anyone like
that really special to date me. But I also get
it because like it, we are weeding out people who

(10:00):
will discriminate against you. But I mean, everyone deserves someone
really special.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Think that.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
I mean, seeing all my friends get married, like some people,
they settle and it's really sad to see. And I
decided that, like, I am not going to settle for
anything that I deem less than. I mean, aside, I'm
thirty five, and so most of my friends are married
or getting married or in long term partnerships, and there's
this societal pressure for me to settle down. And I'm

(10:26):
single and you know, working multiple jobs, and I just
don't really have an interest right now. And I know
that person will be very special when they come along,
because it'll finally be like good enough for me and
like it'll fall right into place and it won't be hard.
But I think that there is this societal pressure for
women even now, even in twenty twenty five, to get married,

(10:46):
and then if you're still single, there's something like inherently
wrong with you, and that's not true.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
So I could relate to that, but at the same
time being like, no.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Stop dating these duds, and you need to date somebody
in your league who is worthy of you, who is special,
but not special because like you're so difficult to deal with.
They're just special because they're good enough for you, exactly,
and you do deserve that.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
And anybody who's dealing with someone like they're they're perfect
match is out there. And to convince these this especially
this group of people, that they aren't and that you
should settle is mind boggling to me. I will never
understand that. I think everyone is deserving of love, and
a special love at that. So I love that you
guys have created this space. Now what makes the space

(11:30):
on datability? Like, is there certain qualifications? There is there
questions that ask what makes it different from a bumble
or a hinge? What are the differences in those apps?

Speaker 3 (11:39):
We had that question when we first started building, right,
like do we limited to just disabled and chronically old people?
And then if so, how do we verify that? That's
one taking a really personal information health data and from
like a legal perspective.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
That made me nervous.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
And then also I think that there's so much gray
area and disability and chronic illness that you know, there's
some people who are like, I don't know, you know,
if I'm considered disabled, can I join? So we just
allow everyone to and whether they're disabled or not, you know,
do a minor vetting process of every user to make
sure that they're not predatory or they're not scammers, and

(12:16):
everyone is who they say they are. The non disabled
users we have are about seven to ten percent of
our user base, and their allies people with siblings who
are disabled, or their work you know, they work with
the disabled community. But yeah, I mean, I think it's
we really we started that question, like that's the first
question we answered. We just wanted it to be open
to everyone. The other apps can be so toxic and superficial.

(12:38):
So if you're not feeling the other apps, you can
join Datability And.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
That's exactly what we wanted.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, and we wanted to solve that problem that I
had with disclosure and how to tell and when to
tell someone about your chronic illnesses. And so obviously, like
if someone is joining Datability, they expect that our community
is going to have or be accepting of disability. But
we wanted to make it so that our users can

(13:04):
present their chronic illness or disability in a really natural
and neutral way. And so we created the Datability Deep
section and it's just like a vague list that the
people can add to their profile, like their political affiliation
or their education level. And we want it to be
just a part of who you are and not necessarily

(13:24):
like a medical chart, but just yeah, just an extension.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Of who you are and what your life looks like.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, So like when I used tolect, I have a
dog and also I'm a female. This is what I'm
looking for. I also have this chronic illness. So it's
like a statement rather than I feel like I have
to disclose this information.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
People have really said that that it's like takes all
of anxiety out of disclosing because it's just there and
you can put it on your profile and sort of
forget about it, and you know if more details come
up down the road when you're match. When you match
with someone, you can disclose more, but it's just like
out there and.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
You know that it's up to the other users.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
I love that so much, And that's so cool to
know that there's an app out there in general too,
because the apps can be very difficult in dating. I've
seen very many stages of it all and I've been
on pretty much every app that existed before I got
into my relationship, and it's cool to know that there's
more of a i would say, empathetic app in a
way that you're just it's more sensitive, more understanding, more

(14:31):
open minded, and it's cool to know that that exists.
And I think that's a space that a lot of
people outside of even the disability chronic illness community will
love to know about, because it is dating's hard, and
when you have at least a multitude of options, at
least you can try different things, and maybe you're looking
for the wrong type of people on one app, and
maybe with datability you can find a different type of
people exactly.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
And you know, right now, obviously we're a smaller community
that compared to the other apps, and will always technically
be a smaller community, even though one in four people
have some sort of disability in the United States and
it's the world's largest minority, like it will be, it's
still a minority, right. But I think from my experiences
on like the Hinges and the Bumbles, when I would
log on, there were so many options and I'm not

(15:14):
really like a grass is Greener type of person, and
but I know people are, and so I know that,
like you know, makes the apps toxic and difficult to navigate,
But it still seems so daunting and overwhelming, Like it
just felt like I was there were just so many options,
like too many ice cream flavors. Yeah, yeah, I compare
it like walking into a forever twenty one. That's exactly
what I was gonna say, Like it's overwhelming, like you

(15:37):
could look, you could go around the most of it's cheap.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
I know exactly that there's too much. Yeah, I agree,
it is like that, like walking through like.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
I don't know, goodwill stresses me out for the same
reasons because it's like there's just too many things, and
I think that making you know, I look at my
parents and my grandparents and the way they met and
they married for decades and our parents are still married.
A smaller community was how people met back in the
day before the internet, and so we're trying to recreate
that but make it accessible by you know, providing this app.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Isn't that so funny when we look at that.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
I mean, obviously apps in general didn't exist, and a
lot more people met in person, But isn't it wild
to think about that back in the day?

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Oh no, I'm so like that person.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
But back in the day, people were meeting just by
way of knowing somebody and they got connected in a
certain way. And now we have this existence where we're like, dang,
we have to keep creating apps because nobody wants to
talk to each other.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
I mean I think about like, our grandparents met at
a dance, and if they weren't and not like a
school dance, Yeah, they were in their early twenties. Yeah,
like whatever the dances they had in the fifties and
and like if they hadn't been at that place, like
they would have never met, they would have never cross
paths again, and it is that's just so wild. And yeah, now,

(16:55):
like I mean, I'm terrified of speaking to people, like
going up to people and just who I don't know
and strangers and that's just how it all used to be.
And I wish I could be a little more confident
in that and meet people online or offline. But mine
is accessible and it's convenient and I can do it

(17:15):
for my pajamas on my couch.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Well, and that's what I was gonna ask too, because
I'm you know, it's hard in general for people to
want to talk in person. Irl is like this you
know fantasy we think that we'll talk and connect with people,
and it's just really difficult, especially today for some reasons.
But is there an added layer of that for you
with having the disability where you just start even a

(17:38):
little bit more shy and don't want to put yourself
in those positions as much.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, I think it comes down to like both from
like a physical standpoint, like if I am in a
flare and I'm really tired and I'm you know, my
body is really hurting and I'm at home like that
obviously still gives me the opportunity to connect with people,
and that's something I'm really grateful for and definitely like

(18:05):
when I go out, like yeah, I mean, having a
disability can really affect your confidence and your body image
and just like your self esteem. And so it does
put that added pressure on to to try to meet someone,
and it's and it's just like having to waiting for

(18:25):
the other shoot a drop sort of is like when
you're when you meet someone.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, it feels a little bit better when it's just
all out there and you don't have to quite as
have that conversation.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Definitely.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Yeah, maybe one day we'll walk around with like hologram
dating profiles like on our chest.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
They won't have ability. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
I mean I always say, like I really would like
to order my partner on Amazon, and I guess a
dating app is the closest thing that forget.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
It very much? Is It's that joke that you often
see in comment sections where somebody's like, did you order
that off Amazon? Where do I find one?

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yes? Very much?

Speaker 2 (18:59):
So. Now Alexa, for you, I'm so curious this side
of it where you did have the mama bear instinct
where you were protective over her and you were wanting
to make things better for her and didn't know how
this is a new avenue for you guys to do that.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
But what is that like.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Supporting someone going through that? Because I know there's a
lot of people out there who are also in your
shoes and trying to support, whether it's a loved one
a friend. However, maybe you have some insight to share
that's from that perspective that people might want to hear
or need to hear.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Definitely, and I you know, I will say Jacqueline didn't
become disabled until she was fourteen, and so growing up,
it wasn't like there's this thing called the glass child
syndrum and it's the child that's not disabled often gets ignored.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
And there were phases, you know, in life like that.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
But I was an adult and I was in college
and I flew the coop and went across the country
for school, and so it.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Didn't really it definitely changed.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
I think the way I view Jacqueline's disability and are
my relationship with her communicating is you know, I don't
know what Jacquelin's feeling all the time, even though I
spend every day with her, we live together. But if
we're on a walk with our dog, I will tell
her listen, you tell me when you want to turn back.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Because I'm not.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
Disabled, I can off for miles. But you know, as
I let her, you know, I don't want her to
feel uncomfortable. And I don't think you ever feel uncomfortable
telling me okay, it's time now, or making sure that
she knows she's up for it. If you're not up
for it, like I can, you know, take another friend.
It's totally fine. And I think that that's really important
is asking questions. I think nowadays people are afraid to
ask questions because they're afraid of offending somebody. I think

(20:34):
things are really touchy, things are really tense, and I
get it because you know, I don't ever want to
offend anybody. But you're never going to know if you
don't ask the question, and you're assuming is like the worst.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Thing you can do.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
And so there's a way to ask politely, and if
the person gets offended, you can explain that you didn't
mean it like that, that you you know, you just
want to know and understand. And so communication whether it's
your friend or your sibling. Is I think definitely the
best and the key part to you know, a relationship
that's healthy and it's fun, and then remembering that people
can have fun.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
You know.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
I think that we're in Colorado, so people want to
ski all the time, right, and so they don't like
Jacqueline because she can't ski every weekend. But I'm not disabled.
Then I love skiing, but I don't ski every weekend.
And like, also, why do we have to do all
the same things all the time?

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Right? You know?

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Maybe I love to hike, Jacqueline can't hike, so I hike.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
That's when I see my friends, when I go and
get some alone time.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
And so, you know, I think that there's other ways,
and there's other ways we do have fun, and I
think people forget that. And so just realize that you
can work around people's limitations, and communication helps.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Finding that work around.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
And I think that you brought up a really good
point is that like chronically ill people have a lot
of fun, and there is that paradox of like, well,
if you're so sick, and you shouldn't be doing that
and you should be at home all the time, and
there's a lot of judgment around that, and especially if
you post it on social media, it's like, how can

(22:00):
you possibly be disabled and like have a smile on
your face at the same time. That's what people hear
all the time, and it's it couldn't be further from
the truth. Disabled people are really adaptive. We are really
just flexible in and find things that work for us
so that our lives are still fulfilling.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
I love that, and I love that you mentioned that,
because it is we like to put people in boxes.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
We hear somebody.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Has a disability or chronic illness and we're like, well,
you're over here. I can't let you be over here.
And that's just not how anything works. You know, you
wouldn't want to be put in a box. It's like, oh,
you're blonde, Well you're going to be put in this box. Cool,
thanks for that. I'm I'm fine. I can do things
brunettes like to do.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (22:43):
So it's an interesting dynamic that people do want to
put you in a box and you're not supposed to
be or just as dynamic as anybody else. It just
looks a little bit different. And understanding that those differences
are actually really cool.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
We have hosted bar crawls in Denver and a lot
of the people who showed up we're wheelchair users, and
like watching other people's faces at the bar, look at
you know, this group of like twenty wheelchair users, or
like we're crossing downtown Denver and there's like twenty wheelchair
users crossing the street. It is like pretty incredible hilarious too.
And we've had people ask like what is this. Yeah,

(23:18):
they're like, gosh, what is going on? And we're like so,
we're just like it's just a gathering. And like seeing
that disabled people party can make people uncomfortable and I'm like,
I truly do not understand that if someone uses a
wheelchair that like takes all of their desires away and
it's just so so shortsighted.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
But it is really cool to.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
See like the communities come out and just really trying
to like bridge the gap between the non disabled community
and the disabled community.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Because it should be as one.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
That's the whole point.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
And that's what you guys, as sisters are really beyond
the app That's what you're also trying to do is say, hey,
we can coexist.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
We should be able to co exist.

Speaker 2 (23:59):
Why aren't we And it's bridging that gap that's kind
of been missing, so beyond the app, I think that's incredible. Jacqueline,
on the flip side of what I asked Alexa and
how she supports you, how do you feel the most supported.
Maybe it's from your sister, but also just in general,
maybe it's from strangers or life or social media. It
kind of can be all over the board, But I'm

(24:19):
curious for you what that support looks like to you
and what really impacts the most for you.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
I think it's having people not necessarily believe me, but
have confidence that I know what's best for myself, and
that is something that a lot of people deal with
disability or not. But making sure that people understand like
I have autonomy, I can make my own choices. I
have chronic illnesses, and I might not always make the

(24:48):
choices that are healthiest for my chronic illness. But there's
like pros and cons to everything, and if I might
want to do something that's really good for my mental
health but it's terrible for my disability, and just yeah,
having that having people trust me that I know what
I'm doing and I can take care of myself the best.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Have there been moments because I have sisters as well,
and I know our spats are so much fun, especially
when they're over, But I'm curious, between you two, have
there been moments where there's just you have these spats
because you have to, because it's understanding somebody a little
bit differently. So what does that look like in a
relational standpoint too, because I think that's also very encouraging

(25:34):
to people to hear that maybe they're not alone and
having those intense moments where it's like you're not hearing
me and you're not seeing me or understanding this.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yes, we have had lots of moments like that, not
necessarily like related to business, but personal.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
I mean growing up, we were at each other's throats
all the time.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
She's four years older, so that makes me the annoying
little sister, And like when she was sixteen, I was
twelve and all I wanted to do was be with Alexa,
and she couldn't get farther away from me, and so
I would tattle on her and get her grounded so
she would be for staying out with me. But we
definitely still have our moments and they are very tense

(26:16):
where Alex is like a professional fighter and she's just
great at it and I am not. And I love
to give the silent treatment and that is like Alex's.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Biggest pet fee.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
But it's like those things like just have to happen,
like if you spend enough time with someone, that's gonna happen.
And we we always get through it pretty quickly, A
simple sorry, fix this thing. Yeah, it's less and less
is the go on. Now you'd bicker more like an
old married couple. Well, were just home last week when

(26:51):
we heard our parents bickering, and like the next day
we started pickering about something with the app and I
felt like.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
She wasn't hearing me.

Speaker 3 (26:57):
And then I was like, oh my god, we becaund
just like mom and dad insane And we're FaceTime moving
with our grandma yesterday and I think, not bickering, but
like move or like don't touch me, like get out
of the way, and she's like, oh my god, you
guys are just like you were when you were little.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Nothing. So we definitely do bicker like that.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
The first year that we lived together, we definitely had
bigger fights that were bigger, But I think the ones
the pan the pandemic that broke people up or brought
them together, and for us, that brought us closer together.
We were literally stuck with each other all the time,
and so we had to figure out how to coexist.
And so now we fight a lot less, but we
have had our moments for sure.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Oh yeah, well, and that that's all so normal. I
trust me again, as having three older sisters, I know
exactly that dynamic, but even more so that you guys
are business partners and you lived together and then there
was like you just had so many dynamics.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
So there's so much realness to that. So thanks for sharing.
I know that's probably an odd question. You're like, Oh.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
There's like it sort of feels good because there's no
one else I would be like we would be able
to speak to someone else like that, and so we
can be so open and honest with each other and
we know we'll make up and that's it's great for
the business, it's great for our relationship, our friendship, and
it just start fresh every time and it's it's totally normal. Yeah,

(28:17):
I've never told a coworker that they're really annoying and
it's and it's over.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
What have you guys learned maybe it's about yourselves or
maybe it's about each other in starting this business, as
you know, and it can be completely unrelated to business,
or it can be about business. But there's kind of
different factors here. So you guys can take that route whichever.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I'll let you go first. Okay.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
I think that I would say that we've learned that
like executing and doing, like just going for it and
winging it is so invaluable.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
And that.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
If you have an idea, you should just go for it.
And that's something it's really it's really scary, and it's intimidating,
and we just you just have to do it and
see and try and see what happens. Yeah, I'm trying
to still think about what I've learned because it's been
there's been so much and I never thought that datability
would take off the way it did.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
I always hoped, but I never thought that it actually would.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
And so that, you know, that's something that I learned
that together we can make a great team. We I
realize that we are different in a lot of ways
too that I didn't realize, and that we compliment.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Each other really well.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
I dream big and I've got a lot of ideas,
but executing them is always not always my thing, you know.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
But Jacqueline's really good at that.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
She's the person that when we move, she wants to
unpack all the boxes, like the day we move. And
so if I tell her, like I have this idea,
like how do we go about this, she can get
it done.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
I think. You know, watching Jacqueline.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Who before this has never had a real job before,
you know, really come into her own. That's been awesome
to see and watch her develop. You know, for the
first two and a half years of abilities existence, she
did all of our pr you know, we traveled a
ton together. Yes, I've never traveled like that, just you
and me. We have a nice little routine now. Soever
we go with our parents anywhere, they like cause chaos

(30:11):
because we have our routine down. But yeah, I've wonned
a lot about our relationship, all good things.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
You just mentioned something that I guess I didn't realize. So, Jacqueline,
this is your first time working, Yeah, okay, tell me
a little bit more about that.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
I graduated college in twenty sixteen.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
And then I got my master's online and I had
this whole plan of working in a children's hospital and
being a childlife specialist, and.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
I was on my way to doing that, and then.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
My health took an even more downward tumble and it
put all of my plans on what I thought was a.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Pause, but it really just came to an end.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
I mean, I spent four years just really being a
professional patient. I was at the doctor's almost every day,
recovering from surgery after surgery, get doing procedures, and there
was just no way that anyone would even ever hire
me because I was to most people, I looked unreliable,
and so I was just really trying to get my

(31:13):
health in a more stable place. And so this has
really let me feel like I'm a contributing member of society,
which is something I struggled with, and it's something that
I know a lot of disabled people.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Who aren't working struggle with.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
And it sucks because it's all just like part of
the capitalistic mindset that you have to work to be
contributing to society. And I wish I could change that
that that's like a whole systemic belief, but it's but
this has really just gave me that purpose and it
feels really good to be my own boss and to

(31:48):
make my own schedule and to know my own limits
and boundaries. And you're very dependable, I hope, but you
realize that you know that she is. She follows through
with everything. I'm not her keeper but at all. And
you know, I think that's a misconception, is that I
take care of Jacqueline.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
We take care of each other. We're sisters, we're family.
But you know, you are dependable, and so any employer
would be lucky to have you. But datability is the luckiest.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Oh wow, that's so cool. And I'm just really glad
that it all came together how it was supposed to,
for this job and for the app and everything for you.
I know, probably in those moments, it didn't feel like
that would ever happen, and to be here now, you're
probably sitting looking back at the entire course of how
things worked out, and you're like, wow, I wish I

(32:33):
just would have known, you know, so I could have
not had to go through all of that.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Absolutely, I mean I just the stuff I wish I
could have could tell my younger self and just like
it's okay, you'll you'll get there. Everyone has their own timeline,
and you know, you you gained some pretty important perspectives
early on in life and it all let.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Me hear, Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Now is their potential plans, say, datability keeps blowing up,
which that's the whole point. Are you guys hoping to
also hire in that same realm of disability chronic illness
and just hopefully employ more people.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Absolutely, And we really want to contribute to the disabled workforce.
And we know that people with disabilities are less likely
to be hired, and there are still some really nasty
policies out there that allow disabled people to earn less
than minimum wage, and we just want to change that

(33:33):
and really contribute to the quality of life and well
being of the disability community as a whole.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, the thought of hiring people like freaks me out. Yeah,
but not there.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Yeah, I have to be a boss of someone. But
and I'm always bad cop jack one makes me always
be bad cops. So if we have to fire somebody,
I know it's going to be me who's going to
do the firing. But yeah, that's our plan. I mean,
we want datability to become a household name, you know,
like tinder Bumble. We want it to be referenced in
TV shows and in movies and just help people know
what it is and really destigmatized disability and intimacy and

(34:08):
desigmatize like the misconception that disabled people aren't contributing members
of society. And I think hiring them, you know, whoever's qualified,
is a great way to do so.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
That makes me so happy.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I assumed, and I know that that's future plans and
all the things, but it's cool that you guys also
have a vision for moving forward because I have no
doubt the app is going to keep moving forward and
it's going to be awesome, So it's cool that you
guys are already planning for that. I do love to
end the podcast on whether it's a quote, a piece
of advice, motivation, or maybe something we just didn't get

(34:40):
to that's really heavy on your heart. It's kind of
how I always end these, and I want you both
to share one so or if there's one together that
you're like, we both feel this way, we will both
want to talk about this.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Okay, Well, I've been listening to the Neary Taylor Swift
album Naturally like all of us, and she keeps talking
about the song Opalite and choosing your own joy, and
I think that that is a really important message for people.
And that's something that I've always lived by is just
finding the happiness and the joy and the humor in everything.

(35:14):
I look for something to be happy about every day,
even like passing a cute dog. I'm like that that
dog is really cute and that made me smile and
I'm grateful for that. And it's like not in a
toxic positivity way, but more of like this is like
life is hard and life is tough, and so if
there's a little crack in there that you can fill
with joy, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
And so yeah, I say, like, choose your own joy.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
There is joy in everything, and there it's out there. Yeah,
I think perspective is everything. But for me, I'm going
to talk more about the app actually that you know,
for listeners, we've got tens of thousands of users, several
success stories. Our first Datability wedding is in February twenty
twenty six.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
WHOA, this is exciting. Hold on, that's exciting.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
I want you to keep going.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
But that's so exciting.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Yeah, And so that's what I want people to know,
because doc I agree on the choosing the happiness and
the importance of perspective. But I want to let everyone
know that, you know, we created datability and it's working
and it is you know, it is successful. We our
first success story dates back to the month we launched.
We probably had the one thousand people in the app.
Then now we're close to fifty thousand. And yeah, that

(36:21):
a different couple is getting married in February not our
first success story. And every time, you know, we do
some kind of outreach or press, we get more and
more stories about, you know, people finding relationships and they
don't always work out. Breakups, you know, happen, that's normal,
and they usually break up for a really really common reasoning,
Oh I wasn't over my ex. It has nothing to

(36:42):
do with the disability or chronic illness that somebody has.
But yeah, it is working and yeah, first did Ability
wedding February twenty twenty six, and.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Shout out to the wedding. First of all, incredible, that's
exciting and a huge milestone. But more than that, the relationships,
even if they don't work out, that you guys are
creating an environment for people to have safe and welcoming relationships,
and that itself is what you guys were trying to accomplish,
and it seems like you're doing just that, so that's
also something to celebrate and really awesome.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Nice. Yeah, we're excited.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
We want you know, even if you don't meet your
person on datability, if Datability is at stepping stone, you know,
get your feet wet and go on some dates and
figure out what you want and you know who you are.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
I think that's perfectly fine. That's exactly what we're here for.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
I love that so much, and I'm just really appreciative
that you guys took some time and we're sharing your
whole story today. So thank you guys for being here.
We will make sure make sure you guys go download.
I'm assuming it's on Android, Apple, all the things datability
is the app yep. All right, we'll go check it
out and hopefully you guys have some wild success stories
that they can keep sharing moving forward in another Datability wedding,

(37:49):
also in twenty twenty six, because you know, twenty five
five we're a little bit towards the end.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, it's time. That is also a bad year. Let's
just wrap up. Why have I be done with it?

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Right?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Deal? Twenty twenty six, we're gonna have one every month.
That's the goal one.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
It's always fun for me as an interviewer to hear
stories like Jacqueline and Alexa's where they just changed their
entire lives because they saw a need and they went
after it. That's so awesome to me, and I'm honored
that they came on to talk all about that and
share their story. Next week, the Ring True Sisters joined me.
They're a company I've been working with for a while
because I love what they're doing and it's so so cool.
They're also going to make a great Christmas gift, so

(38:23):
get ready for that one. But more than anything, I'm
so happy that you're here. So make sure you subscribe
to the podcast if you haven't already.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Give it a rating.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Five stars would be awesome, because you know, people always
have mean opinions, but we're trying to keep a space
of positivity over here on the podcast, and you can
go follow the podcast Instagram at take this personally, but
for now, we'll yap with you guys next week.
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Host

Morgan Huelsman

Morgan Huelsman

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