December 15, 2025 • 55 mins
The holidays can be magical: full of twinkly lights, sweet treats, and time with people we love. But they can also shine a spotlight on grief, change, loneliness, and the complicated emotions so many of us quietly carry this time of year. In this episode, Morgan shares vulnerable listener voice notes about the real struggles happening behind the highlight reels. From divorce, illness, mental health battles, and career changes to navigating grief after losing parents, partners, or friends, these stories remind us we’re never as alone as we think.
Morgan opens up about her own mixed year and responds to each message with empathy and honesty, creating space for anyone who’s simply doing their best to make it through the season.
If this time of year feels heavy, messy, bittersweet, or complicated… this episode is for you.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally with Dan Fuelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It was the same time last year where I decided
to do an episode that addressed a lot of holiday struggles,
and it was one that I didn't realize so many
of us needed.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Christmas is my favorite time of year.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I love the warm lights, I love the yummy treats
and spending time with family and friends and going to
holiday pop up bars where there's all kinds of pretty,
sparkly decorations. And I put up my Christmas decorations way
earlier than the world approves of because I can't wait
for the season to come. But what I realized in
(00:51):
doing that episode and gearing up to do that first
episode was how much this holiday also means grief and
sorrow and sadness and anger and comes with many more
emotions than just joy. And so I had done that
episode and hopes to bring people together even more in
(01:11):
a season that's meant to bring people together, but not
through the happiness and the lights and the presence, but
through things that are hard. And you guys all shared
so many things about your lives, and you've done it
this year again in audio form, so people can hear
your voices through the things that you've gone through, and
I cannot wait to share these things that you've shared
(01:33):
with me and been vulnerable enough to open up so
that other people can feel less alone through similar things
they may be facing. And I know that not only
with Christmas, New Year's follows soon after, and that means
people are going to be posting a lot of highlight reels,
(01:53):
a lot of things that you're going to see where.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
They had this banger year, and you're gonna look at it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And say, holy crap, that's not what my life looks
like at all. And I need you to know that
it's not what most of our lives look like. Now
I'm going to give you a vulnerable moment for me.
This has been a beautiful year for me along with
a really hard year. I've lost certain people close to
me in different friendships, and a lot of things have
(02:22):
happened in my family, and I have been heartbroken over
dealing with my dog and my cat both being diagnosed
with two lifelong diseases that were now having to face
and treat for the rest of their lives, and at
the same time meeting someone who I genuinely believe I'm
(02:46):
going to spend the rest of my life with and
also having my dog and cat make full recoveries at
this moment in time, and having people who do surround me,
that love me and so port me in so many ways.
So while this year thankfully hasn't come with much grief
(03:09):
in the passing, since I do identify with those as
I've lost both of my grandparents, and the holidays often
bring that grief back up because I miss going to
their house on Christmas Eve to play poker with all
my uncles when I was very much not good on it,
but I'd sit on my dad's lap and steal all
(03:30):
those coins to play it. And the holidays do bring
up hard things as much as it could be a
beautiful year, and it has been an awesome year. I
look at this life that I've gotten to live in
the past year, and I got to host my first
ever show that's gonna be on streaming platforms, and my
(03:55):
health is improving after years of me putting it through
the wringer, and and I did meet someone incredibly special.
So I know that a lot of us are feeling
mixed feelings with the holiday approaching and with the season
happening already. So it's why I do this episode, and
(04:15):
I can't wait to now dive into all of the
things that you guys have shared, and I hope all
of us throughout this episode can feel seen and connected
and maybe, just maybe it will make this holiday a
little bit easier. And if you're watching this on YouTube,
then I have my emotional support water bottle here because one,
(04:37):
I don't drink near enough water, but also I have
a feeling I'm just gonna need a few water breaks
throughout this episode. I almost already needed one. If we're
going to start here, I'm not going to share any names.
People were kind enough to share them, but I think
it's best just to share their voices and let you
hear their stories. So we're going to start here with
(04:57):
the first one.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Honestly, twenty twenty five was the hardest year that I've.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Walked through.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
And as we just.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Went through Thanksgiving and now we're approaching Christmas and the
new year, it's hard. I don't feel excited or joyful,
and you see all these people around you and on
social media, and it feels like everybody else is so
(05:36):
happy and joyful and has wonderful friends and family. And yes,
I'm surrounded by people but I'm surrounded by people, yet
I feel so alone. And I know as the new
year approaches, everyone's going to be posting their highlight reels
(05:57):
and all the things that they've accomplished, and truly, I
feel like the only thing I've accomplished this year is
surviving it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Well. I think a lot of us can relate to that,
because surviving, not thriving has been the phrase for many
for several years, and it is a very isolating feeling
to feel like you're just surviving all the time when
the health struggles I've dealt with this year, I've realized
a lot about myself and about my body and that
(06:29):
I was in fight or flight for a really long
time following a very traumatic episode in my life, and
it just continued to spiral with the way that I
was treating and allowing myself to feel. And I think
it can be so difficult to find our way out
(06:49):
when we feel alone, when we feel like we can't
come back from something. And I know that feeling all
too well. Where you sit in a room and you're
surrounded by people, it seems like it'd be beautiful, but
everything in you is numb or everything and you can't
feel what's happening in that moment, and you need away
(07:10):
from it. I hope you know that's normal. I don't
think anybody, for one hundred percent of their life ever
feels completely on And we've all had these moments, whether
it be because of hard things or just because mental
health has been pushed to the limits. It's okay to
feel that way, and you're definitely not alone in that struggle.
(07:38):
We got another one here.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
In January, I bought the family business. In April, I
left my abusive ex husband and became a single mom. Yesterday,
a judge granted me said divorce despite him fighting against
it every step of the way.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
And this month I turned thirty.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Even though good things that happened to me this year,
it still feels bittersweet.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
Because I'm grieving the.
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Life I thought I would have by the time I
turned thirty.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
First, I want to say, if you again are watching
on YouTube, you saw me fist bump, Because anybody leaving
an abusive relationship should have all the praise in the world.
It's one of the hardest things to get out of,
and especially with kids. I cannot imagine the extra toll
it took on your body to go through that divorce,
to fight like hell to get out of it and
(08:34):
put yourself first for once and what was probably years.
And I know that it's going to be a long
road ahead, a long road for healing for you and
a long road of recovery for your whole family.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But I'm proud of you. I'm so proud that you
did take that step and put yourself first and fought
to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And while the road is going to be long, it's
going to be and it will be beautiful, and you're
gonna think yourself a whole lot. I'm sure you already
are as you sent that voice note, because I would
imagine a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders
in a whole bunch of different ways, and taking over
a family business while also doing all of that is
(09:18):
absolutely wild.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Then you're a superhuman and I think it's so cool
that you believed in yourself to do all of it.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And we should praise us getting to do the things
that we've always wanted to do and finally doing them.
That's an accomplishment all in itself. But I can also
imagine the grief that's coming. When I had left my
abusive relationship. It was incredibly difficult to remember all the
(09:52):
bad things that happened, not only just because I blocked
them out, but because he had me really believing in
a life that supposed to happen, and I had to
rewrite the entire life that I wanted for my future
and rewrite a lot of my story that didn't have
another narrative in it. So that grief that comes with
(10:13):
that will be hard. But I'm just so proud of you,
and I think this is going to be your next
best season yet. And I hope that your community rallies
around you and your village to help you raise your
kiddos in a way that's beautiful and protected. And I
(10:34):
hope that just all the good things come your way.
This is kind of up the same realm, so I
put these two together.
Speaker 7 (10:47):
This season is rough for me because it's a constant
reminder that I had to give up the life I
was living to pursue the life I was dreaming of.
I've been divorced from my husband for ten years now.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
We have both moved on.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
I've been with my fiance for hello.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Over three years now, but me and my ex shared
three kids, so the holiday season is a constant reminder of.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Missed tradition, memories and moments that I didn't get to
have with my kids and he didn't get to have
with them either. It's just rough.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
It's hard to put your mental well being over everything else.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
So this is just a reminder.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
That it's hard, but at the end, it's worth it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It is absolutely worth it.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And two things can be true, right that it's the
best thing you did to get a divorce, while also
it was hard and you wish that it did work out,
and it's beautiful that you have both moved on and
found different lives. But I don't know that the grief
(12:25):
ever goes away. I don't have kids, so I cannot
speak from that perspective, But I don't know that you'll
ever not grieve that life. I think it will always
be part of you. I think anything we lose is
always part of us. But over time it develops into
different shape, form and memory, if you will. And I
(12:46):
believe that this new life that you're creating is going
to bring new memories that will start to make the
old ones easier. But I just don't believe it'll ever
go away, unfortunately, And there's a beautifulness to that that
you can always have those memories and remember a life
(13:08):
that you did have and a life that you created,
and you should be proud of because just because something
ended doesn't mean you shouldn't be proud of it.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
You still did it, you still had.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That marriage, you still created beautiful children, and you're still
living a beautiful life after that. We often have this
finite reality when it comes to things ending, and there
are some situations that it should absolutely be the case,
as in the one just before this talking about an
abusive relationship that should be over and ended and no
(13:38):
repeating and going back to it. But just because something
ends doesn't mean it ends in our hearts and in
our lives.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And it doesn't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Just because you decided to close the chapter doesn't mean
the whole story's over. And anybody could tell you a
million different ways of how you should handle that, and
I'm never going to tell anybody how to handle anything,
but I think believing and replaying those memories has actually
been official to you to continue to be proud of
(14:13):
yourself that not only did you create a beautiful life first,
but you also chose another path for you because you
thought it was going to be better. And I think
that's a great choice in so many ways. So there's
the two things can be true in that scenario. And
I often know that that saying is easier said than done.
(14:35):
So here's another one.
Speaker 11 (14:41):
So in twenty nineteen, my husband got a spinal word injury,
three months after we had just got married and right
before COVID and seeing him through his rehab, I fell
him up with occupational therapy and how it changed his
life and gave him his inde pendance back, and seeing
(15:02):
how it affected everybody else around him and were patients
with him, And so I decided to make a complete
career change. And I was had a degree in marketing,
and I decided I'm going to switch and go to
the medical field and get into occupational therapy. And so
this year was the first year where it was I
(15:23):
had a spring, summer, fall semester, and I'm thirty and
going back to school full time, Like this has just
been wild to me.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
I never thought that I would be able to do this.
Speaker 7 (15:37):
When I finished my marketing degree, I was like, hell, yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Get me out of school kind of thing.
Speaker 11 (15:43):
So it's really funny that I am going back to
school full time and doing this. But I guess my
advice is that you can always change your mind, you
can always change your dream, and opportunities will come for
you and you just have to walk through that door.
And it's going to be hard and it's going to
be challenging, but you can get through it and.
Speaker 12 (16:06):
You can survive this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Can I just say, holy crap that you guys got
married and then this happened. I cannot imagine that experience
for both of you, and also incredible that you were
by his side through it all to work through those things,
and I bet he is incredibly appreciative of the support
that you provided him. But wow, what a crazy turn
(16:32):
of events to then see a profession and say, you
know what, I'm going to change what I'm doing and
walk through this door. Because much like she said, I
applaud anybody who can see a crack opening and say
I'm going to go after that, because I know there's
times where I've seen cracks open and I haven't taken it,
(16:55):
or heck, even a window open and I won't jump
out of it to completely change the life. That to
go after something potentially even better is an accomplishment all
on its own, and it's so cool that you're doing it,
and it may feel crazy, and I think this world
is going to try and make you do anything to
(17:16):
stay comfortable, to stay in the position that you're always in,
because it's easier to be comfortable than it is to
be uncomfortable than it is to try something new. And
the fact that you're doing that all amits a whole
lot of things happening is wild and awesome, so dang inspirational,
(17:37):
and you probably didn't even expect that was gonna be
my response, but I think it's awesome.
Speaker 13 (17:42):
The month of November was extremely hard. I got anxiety
and add symptoms that resurface that I haven't felt in
ten years since college, And after struggling for an entire month,
productivity decreasing, realize.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That I was doom scrolling and staring.
Speaker 13 (18:02):
My staring at my computer screen at work without getting
any work done, finally decided to go get help for
the first time. I saw a psychiatrist for the first
time ever, started therapy, and started anxiety medicine for the
first time ever, and I'm honestly feeling much better and
shedded my shame in regards to getting that help, but
(18:23):
so happy that I did.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Okay, I want to give some snaps here because getting
help is awesome. I think if you ever feel the need,
there is a lot of shame associated with that from
a multitude of places, but there shouldn't be. Getting help
is you putting yourself first. And you put yourself first
(18:46):
to take care of you, and mental health is no joke,
and getting medication to support you to go through life
is incredibly important.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
It's incredibly brave.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I love that you shared this because I know
there's a lot of people out there where getting help
could be shameful.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
But I don't want you to feel shame. I want
you to be proud.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I want you to say I did that, wear that
badge of honor, because getting help means you're setting aside
your pride, your ego and saying I need to do
better for me, and you're showing up for yourself. There's
not a lot of people who can actually say they're
showing up for themselves. They actually put themselves on the
back burner. I'm one of them often and to say hey, no,
(19:34):
I need to set this aside and take this step
forward is incredible.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And I help more people do.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I hope in the new year we can have less
mental health issues, because it's clear that each year it
keeps getting worse and worse with financial issues, the economy,
the different things that people are experiencing, from job loss
to losing people. We are on a very difficult stage
(20:03):
with mental health and talking to someone unbiased, like a
therapist or a psychologist or whatever that may be, is
a brave and great thing to do and there should
be absolutely zero shame attached to that.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
I'm Morgan, I'm Sherry.
Speaker 14 (20:22):
Currently live in Tennessee, but moved just under three months
ago from Maryland. Diagnosed with stage four breast cancer about
fifteen months ago, and currently my struggle is because of
my treatment. I've gained a lot of weight and despite
a lot of effort, my treatment is preventing me from
(20:44):
losing weight.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
So not feeling.
Speaker 14 (20:51):
Myself, struggling with body image, really wanting to get back
into the dating world and New State.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Not knowing anybody.
Speaker 14 (21:08):
Having cancer, meddling weight issues, it's been a lot.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Thanks for leaving me that for a second. Love your pod.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Cherry, I hope you know that you are beautiful and
I know that just in the way that you presented yourself. Gosh,
and it sounds like you need to give yourself some
grace because you've been through it and you can't fix
the world in one day, and you can't fix yourself
in one day. You are fighting an illness that shouldn't
(21:45):
exist in the fricking first place. Fuck cancer, But you're
taking care of yourself. You're doing treatments to help you
get better.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And I hate that it's.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Taking away your confidence and it's hurting you in ways
that you didn't imagine. Probably when this all happened, you
were just thinking about the diagnosis and how you're going
to survive, and now you're having to face the body
image struggles and the confidence and things that you just
probably were not anticipating. And I hope you know that
(22:17):
focusing on surviving and taking care of yourself and your
health right now is all that matters.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
The dating will come, the.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Confidence will come back, The ways that you want to
take care of yourself when you've fully healed will still
be there. And I also help you feel supported by
whoever is around you and is reminding you that you're
beautiful and going through any of this, especially heck, if
(22:47):
you are trying to date and all of this props
to you because I know that's incredibly difficult, but more
so than that, hopefully it will help you weed few
even more red flyings that are out there, because hopefully,
if you do meet someone, they show you how incredibly awesome,
strong and supportive they are, and if not, kick come
(23:08):
to the curb really fast. But more than anything, I
want you to give yourself some grace because you're going
through a really tough time and moving in all kinds
of things that are happening at one time for you,
and sometimes it's okay to just survive. There will come
a time in your life when you will thrive and
(23:30):
you will heal and you will feel amazing. And that's
not going to be every day, and that's okay. There
are a lot of days where I often don't feel
great and I feel like, holy crap, what has happened?
And that's just on a normal day. I can't imagine
dealing with a fight that you're fighting right now and
(23:50):
trying to feel great about yourself. So I hope you
give yourself grace. I hope you find your sparkle again,
and hopefully you can also take some time for yourself
over the holidays and treat yourself to something, whether it's
to a dinner date or a spa or hack your favorite.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Guilty pleasure treat.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I just want you to give yourself grace and treat
yourself because I think that's what you deserve this holiday.
Speaker 15 (24:19):
Okay, when it's hard for us right now is my
sweet mother in law.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
Have a bring in your cup shirt, and.
Speaker 15 (24:29):
She's in the hospital undersation and she's alive that they're
trying to get her brain to stop swelling and everything
to go down and.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Look normal, and.
Speaker 15 (24:45):
We're just waiting and not know when when she's gonna
get better and when she's gonna.
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Wake up, and it's just hard, like right now, and
not having her here for the holidays. That's our hardest things.
So please keep us in your parish.
Speaker 16 (25:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Well, we absolutely are.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
And one of the hardest things is to be in
a situation where you're not getting quick answers and you
don't know what's going to happen, and the silence of
that is really deafening. Anytime I've had loved ones in
the hospital, it feels like I'm just waiting by the
phone for that.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Call or any call for that matter.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
To know what's next or what's coming, and to be
there and witness it is even more difficult, and right
around the holidays when you just want to all be together,
and it gives you a lot of perspective. The hospital
visits will always bring perspective of how you just wish
she had time back, or you just wish you had
one more moment of this.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
My heart's with you, guys, and I.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Hope that she is able to recover so great and
be back with you guys, and hopefully you can celebrate
a really late holiday, but we're thinking about you.
Speaker 16 (26:06):
I think the hardest part of the holidays is learning
to navigate.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Them without your parents. It's a whole new normal.
Speaker 16 (26:20):
That you're absolutely not used to, especially when you don't
have a lot of family around, or when you possibly
do have a lot of family around, but you are
not close with them, and it's absolutely a struggle. That's
(26:47):
a very hard thing to navigate through the holidays, regardless
of what holiday it is, and it's especially hard when
those holidays were your parents' favorite. So for anyone that's
(27:11):
dealing with that, whether it be.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
A new normal or an old normal.
Speaker 16 (27:16):
My heart absolutely goes out to you and just know
that it's a struggles for all of us.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I can't imagine the idea of even losing my parents
makes me tear up, so I cannot imagine what that
day will be like when they're no longer here.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
And the grief I.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Hear in your voice is heartbreaking. And to face holiday
that they loved, that you probably spent together and did
all kinds of.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Wonderful things, that's hard.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
And I wish there were magic words that I could
say and to make it all better and give you
a band aid to help the pain, but there isn't.
I have a few of these that are about grief,
so I'm gonna I'm gonna let them share, and then
(28:14):
I will give you CRIDs my perspective on grief.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Just the first.
Speaker 17 (28:21):
Christmas since my dad passed away, and I'm having a
hard time. It's hard just to keep going on with
life as usual when it feels like my world is
standing still.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Hey Morgan, I am my name slogan. I live in Maryland.
Speaker 18 (28:39):
Me and my wife had our first baby in January,
and my mother passed away on November ninth of this
year from non small cell lung cancer.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
So that's been.
Speaker 18 (28:52):
Tough to navigate, but just gonna keep pushing through. Appreciate
you guys and the Bobby Bunch Show. I listen to
you every day and thank you for what you do.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
Hi.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
My name is Nicole.
Speaker 19 (29:06):
I lost my husband to brain cancer two years ago.
The Christmas season has become a bit more difficult because
of that reason. We celebrate with our friends and our family,
but that only illuminates that my family's not all together
(29:29):
and seeing all of their families together and the new
year just signifies like another year that he won't see.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
There's a lot of grief messages that I received in
lieu of this podcast.
Speaker 12 (29:47):
The loss of a friend three weeks after she was
diagnosed with cancer. We all feel lost when we miss her.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
There's a few more of that I'll get into here
in a second, but I just want to address grief because.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Grief, to me is love.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And I think I saw a quote somewhere online. I
definitely know I didn't make this up, but grief is
love with nowhere to go. And I always thought that
was really pretty, because just because somebody's gone doesn't mean
you stop loving them, doesn't mean their story's over in
your life. Heck, it probably means that their story is
(30:33):
more so part of your life. Like I had mentioned earlier,
just because there's an ending doesn't mean the entire story
is closed. And how those people will carry on through
each of you that shared that, and how you're going
to share their stories as your life goes on, it's
(30:55):
really cool to think about because they get to live
on through you.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
But man, I just.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
My heart breaks for anyone who has to experience loss
on any level, because grief is hard and you'll get
hit with it at random parts of any day, and
so many of you are losing parents, and the idea
(31:25):
of that, even thinking about losing mine or thinking about
the loss of my grandparents, just.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
It rattles in my brain. And for you guys to
have lost people so.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Near and dear to your heart while experiencing like the
guy who shared that they had just had a baby,
and it sounds based on that timeline she got to
meet your guys's first child, which is so beautiful. But
I know hard do things can be true always, But
(32:02):
grief is just one of those prices we pay for
loving and showing up. And it's easy to look at
the other side of that and say, well, if I
didn't love and I didn't show up, then I don't
have to feel that pain one day. But I don't
know about you, guys. I think I'd feel the pain
a million times over to experience the love that I
(32:23):
get experience in my life even without those people still here. Dang,
I need a water break, my emotional sport water bottles
claim my name. So oh okay, I told you guys,
I'm an impath. So I feel the pain and I
feel the hurt and a lot of these and gosh,
(32:44):
there's a few more that address that, but also some
other things.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Morgan, thanks for asking.
Speaker 20 (32:52):
It has been a rough season and not many people
want to hear about it or talk about it. I
lost my back friend that nearly thirty years in March.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
She passed away from pancreatic cancer.
Speaker 20 (33:07):
We raised our daughters together, who were also best friends.
So this holiday season has been difficult without her. We
walked through her cancer trial together the last two years.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
So yeah, there's that. Also, can I just say work,
I've been at.
Speaker 20 (33:35):
Doing my job for over forty years now, and there's
just been a lot of changes with the computer and
a lot of changes basically, and I feel like everything
I've known for forty years I no longer know, so
that has been overwhelming as well, but we'll get through it.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
Twenty twenty six will be another new.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Year, another loss that unspeakable I can't imagine. I know
that you guys are probably supporting her daughter, being that
your daughter is her best friend and she probably feels
like you're a second mom to her. So I hope
(34:18):
that friendship continues to be such an important part of
your guys's lives, because again, her memory is going to
live on through that. But I can't imagine that kind
of loss, and my heart goes out to you. The
work side of this is fair. You guys can share
audio message about anything that's bothering you, guys. I love
(34:39):
hearing from you guys, because this is real life.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Work is hard.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It doesn't matter if you have the most perfect job
in the world or you people think you have the
best job in the world.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Work is hard. Work is work, and anybody who says
work isn't work is lying to you.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
It takes time and effort, and it's draining, and we
don't get near enough breaks to feel things that are
going on through our lives often, which means We're balancing
eighty different plates.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So work is very real, especially around the holidays. Everybody's
about to finally take a big break, and I feel
like it's the one time of year everybody resets.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
We talk about New Year's.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Eve and New Year's and the new resolutions, but can
we talk about the break that we get at Christmas?
Everybody for the most part, and if anybody else doesn't
get one, I think we should just shut everything down.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
The world should shut down for a week and we.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
All just get a break from life and each other
and do whatever we want to do for that week,
and then we reopen. Everybody can breathe a big sigh
of relief because we got the break that we all deserved.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Let me just say that. So here's another one about work.
Speaker 19 (35:50):
Hi Morgan.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Name's autumn on an emergency or nurse, and this is
the toughest season I would save for my life.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
Especially during flu season.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Everybody's coming in sick, COVID's rising again, and there's a
new flu strand going around. Nobody's wanting to get vaccinated,
fair choice. We're short staffed, overworked, the usual. We're not
considered as professionals anymore to everyone's opinion. Yeah, it's just
(36:20):
very tiring, and yeah it makes my anxiety very high,
my depressions kicking in, and it's just very overwhelming. But
congratulations to you and a new boyfriend. I'm very happy
that you felt this body who can treasure you in
(36:41):
value your values. Thank you for everything that you do
your podcast. If it wasn't for your podcast, I would
not be able to get through the day. I enjoyed
listening to it. I hope you, your family, and your
boyfriend have a happy holiday and a good year.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
Wife.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
First of all, this felt like an actual voice momo
coming from one of my friends in a text message,
which was so sweet.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Thank you to the kind woman who.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Shared that, because there's a lot of effort that goes
into this podcast and hearing that it helps you and
it gets.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
You through the day means a lot to me. So
thanks for listening. One. Two, I just want to.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Shout out all the people out there, the educators, those
that work in the medical field, nurses, teachers specifically.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Everybody has a role to play in our lives.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Everybody has a role that matters and an education that matters,
and we need teachers, we need nurses. We need people
to support us through every phase of our life, and
what you do matters.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
The work you're doing matters.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
I have two educators in my family, I have nurses
in my extended family, and I recognize you as very
important and very valuable. And I think the work that
you're doing is hard and the things that you guys
deal with is unimaginable, and.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
Just as I.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Feel that every job that we have out there is
necessary right now, and there's things that change and develop
over time, but we're always going to need teachers and
nurses in some form or fashion, and there's so much
crazy noise happening on social media around them.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
But just know that I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I appreciate the work that you're doing and the work
that went into you guys being able to do that work.
So I know it's a really rough time and I
know that you guys are in a really hard space,
but please know I appreciate you. I know there's a
whole lot of people that appreciate you, and I don't
want you to stop doing what you're doing, But take
(38:52):
a deep breath, take some time for yourself over the holidays,
and hopefully you can come back and be stronger than
ever to keep some are we in the ways that
feel meaningful for you in another work.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Capacity, we have a few of these.
Speaker 5 (39:05):
So I was let go.
Speaker 8 (39:07):
At the end of May, a month before moving to
a brand new place, hours from friends and family, and
it's been really hard. I've been looking for a job.
I've been trying to settle in a new place. But
that's hard to do when you're working retail part time
with a variable schedule to try to make some money,
money that does not make ends meet. And when you
(39:30):
need a little help or talk to about it, people
tell you that you're not working hard enough, or you're
not doing enough, or you just need a job. As
if I'm not applying and interviewing and being told things
like great, you made it to the top ten. We
got a thousand applications in three days. And then you
don't make it to the final round, or you make
it to the final round and they choose a different
candidate because they've got a thousand to choose from. It's
(39:52):
really frustrating and been a tough season, which I hope
is coming.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
To a close.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
I hope for you too, that's coming to a close
because I'm gonna say this and people probably disagree, but
looking for a job is a job in itself. To
apply for jobs these days takes a whole lot of
work and a whole lot of effort. So as long
as you're applying and trying things, you are doing a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
You're trying a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Heck, even if you're not applying and you're taking a
break because things went to crap and you're trying to
regroup and reset, you're also doing a lot. So I
hope you quiet out the noise, put some earmuffs on,
and take everything out of this picture, and know that
your new season is coming. This is just a bump
(40:40):
in your road, and there will come a time when
you look back in your life and you will have
gotten over it, and you did it because of how
strong you are, because of how much you push yourself
and the willpower that you do have. So quiet the
noise around you, because sometimes the people around us can
also be really detrimental to us when we're going through
(41:00):
a certain season. They're really helpful and they're necessary and important,
but sometimes it's also necessary and important to focus on
you and go into your own shell cocoon and focus
on what's the most important thing for you right now
in this moment. And I hope that season does come
to an end so you can start your new one
(41:21):
and it's incredible, and you kick ass at a new
job because you will and you'll find.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
It, even if it's a small job to get to
a big job.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
There's always seasons of this where we never know what
is just around the corner. And I think there is
more around your corner, because this isn't the ending half
the time, it's only the beginning.
Speaker 21 (41:49):
After my mom thought rist cancer and one my husband
and I struggled with fertility miscarriages, still struggling, probably can't
have kids, and then lost my dad this summer, so
really struggling season with being grateful that my mom survived and.
Speaker 5 (42:16):
With the loss of someone you loves and the hardships
that go along with fertility issues.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Oh man, all of those things that I can't personally
imagine and I've never walked through. But gosh, to be
able to celebrate your mom beating something while also losing
another parent and to be really wanting something to happen
and hoping that this is going to happen for you, guys,
while experiencing those two things.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Holy crap, I.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Simply couldn't put myself in your shoes even if I
wanted to. And I'm sorry that this is all happening
at the same time. When it rains, it pours something
to that effect, and.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Man it does.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Sometimes you're dealt with a hurricane instead of a tornado,
or a light rain.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Instead of a tsunami.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
But I'm sorry that yours seems to have been a
tsunami for the last several months. And I hope that
one you are able to find some love and light
in the memories of your dad and also hopefully receive
some good news soon or a new door opening in
some way. If it isn't the path that you guys
(43:33):
want to be on, but maybe it's an even better one.
So my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine
balancing all of those things at one time.
Speaker 22 (43:44):
I H's Sap from Apple Belli, California. It's been a
rough year, some health issues, some financial issues. Being fifty
six and single, I'm not sure how to navigate this.
I do have two great kids and four amazing grandkids,
so that keeps me going, and some great friends, but
(44:08):
I would really like to figure out life and be
happy on my own.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
With myself. So hopefully this helps.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
I do hope you're able to find the happiness within
yourself because it's a really fun season when you can
hit that. I heard the hurt in your voice of
fifty two in single.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
I hope you know.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
That love doesn't have an age limit. That's going to
come at any point in time in your life when
it's supposed to happen. Oh, I know, I can't believe
I'm saying that, but it will, and you're more than
capable of it.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Because here's the thing. This is what I always told myself.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
I exist, and I have love in my heart, and
I have so much love to give. And if I exist,
then someone else out there exists to give me that
same thing in return. And it's really hard often to
see that. It's hard to see through all the mud
and things that you've gone through to hope that there's
(45:10):
a light at the end of that tunnel. But there
always is, and unfortunately sometimes it takes a really long
time to get to that light, but you always will.
Maybe it's more of a lighthouse than a shining studio light,
but you will, and it will happen, and I think
it's gonna be beautiful when it does, and it's gonna
(45:31):
be a new season for you because you're gonna be
like fifty two and married and it's gonna be awesome,
and you're deserving of that. You're deserving to find love
as many times as you want to. You're deserving to
never get married again if you don't want to, if
you want to be fifty two and single, maybe you're
single and you're like, heck, yeah, I really like this life.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Never again do I want to be married?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
And whatever you choose, I hope you know that it's
gonna be an awesome decision either way. But I want
to also recognize that I know how hard a single
season is, especially being a single mom and having beautiful kids,
and also knowing you have history in certain scenarios, and
all of those things are hard and they're difficult all
(46:15):
on their own.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
So I hope you're another one.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Where gosh, I hope everybody here is giving themselves a
lot of grace and understanding because the new season will
come and I think it's going to be pretty awesome
for you. Michelle and Apple Valley.
Speaker 23 (46:32):
I would say that one of the toughest parts about
the season is newly dating someone else, or you've been
with someone for a year and it's time to start
sharing holidays.
Speaker 6 (46:44):
Which holidays do you spend with which family?
Speaker 4 (46:47):
And you want to make sure you do it.
Speaker 8 (46:50):
When you choose the family to spend say, Christmas with,
you want to do it in.
Speaker 5 (46:55):
A way that doesn't hurt the other family. And I'm
finding that this is.
Speaker 23 (47:00):
Harder than I thought it would be to make sure
that no feelings are hurt.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I'm currently going through this.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
It's so much fun to get to have new people
in your life and more people to spend holidays with.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
It's almost a blessing.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
At the same time, it's also difficult where you're trying
to balance everybody's feelings. You're trying to not hurt anybody's
You're trying to make sure you're nurturing relationships while also
keeping your family and those relationships that you've had for
decades happy. And oftentimes people do get hurt in the
mixture of changes because it's bound to happen. You can't
(47:39):
make everybody happy. You can only do all the things
that you can do right, and there's only enough time
in so many days, but I think there's also an.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Excitement to it where you get to add.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
New people into your life and find new traditions and
find new things that you never knew existed.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
But this is one of those scenarios where it can also.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Be equally as hard if you have family who has
a lot of opinions and has a lot to say
and they want things done a certain way, and that
challenge can be really tough, especially on partnerships. So one
of the things that I know I keep doing with
my boyfriend is checking in and saying, how are you feeling,
give me your actual feelings about this.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Tell me what you think I need to know where
you stand.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
And it's checking in with each other because oftentimes our
two opinions could get lost in that mix of deciding
what's best and how we're going to go this way
or that way where we're going to spend each holiday.
And there's a lot of conversations that him and I
have had of just trying to make sure him and
I are both happy and are both getting what we
(48:44):
want and how do we do that?
Speaker 3 (48:46):
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
So really open honest conversations, and that is on both
partners to share all their honest feelings and thoughts when
I know it's hard. But it's also on both partners
to own situations too, right, It's on both of them
to not only be able to share their real feelings
but also help navigate their families.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
They have to show up and say.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Hey, we're going to do this, and you're owning that
as a partnership, not just saying oh, well, my husband
wants to do this, or well him saying my wife
wants to do this.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
It's owning that.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
You're a team and working through that together. And we're
very much in the real thick of that right now
as I'm doing this podcast episode.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
So communication is such a big part of that, but
also just how cool that we.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Get new traditions and new memories and things that never
in my wild the dreams did I see happening in
my life.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
And here is our last entry for the podcast.
Speaker 5 (49:41):
Hi, this is Jennifer in Oklahoma City.
Speaker 24 (49:44):
And for me, I am at the age where I
still have children. I have my youngest is a freshman
or actually she's a sophomore in college and she's out
of state, so I'm trying to help her along. But
then I also have of aging parents who have reached
the age where they need a little bit of help too,
So I'm caught between my kids and my parents. And
(50:07):
I will say this, aging parents are much harder to
raise than even teenagers. But I just am trying to
find other people that are in that phase of life
and build that support. I'm really throwing myself into the
holidays because it's my favorite time of year and I'm
lucky that I get to rely on my faith.
Speaker 5 (50:28):
And I'm grateful.
Speaker 24 (50:29):
Morgan that you asked us to share, because I think
that's really what it's about. It's connecting to others and
finding out that you are not alone can be incredibly powerful.
So as always, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for
your podcast, and I just wish you the merriest of
Christmases and to all of your listeners as well.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
This is a beautiful one to end on for a
lot of ways. One because this is someone who is
navigating multiple different changes in their life, but who's trying
to do it with support in a community and find
friends while there is a lot of things happening in life,
and I think that's one of the hardest things of life.
It's one of the lessons that I've learned this year
(51:07):
is that when you go through life changes, and when
people in your life go through life changes, oftentimes friendships
end and relationships change, and it's hard.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
It's hard. It's really difficult to to.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
You know, as I get older and I see my
parents getting older and encouraging them to take care of
themselves in certain ways and do this and do that,
while also trying to just let them live their lives
how they want to, and wanting to talk to my
grandma about doing things so she's around forever. And I
think it's hard when you're in a season of life
(51:45):
where everything just feels up in the air and not
anything is settled, and that very much feels like this
situation to me, and I could be completely wrong, but
in trying to find friends who can relate to that right,
because we like to have friendships that connect to where
we're at in our stage of life.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
It's often why we see.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
People who are single and all single together and then
you get in a relationship and hopefully those friendships stay.
That's always the goal, but oftentimes they don't because people
get into relationships and others don't, and sometimes people have kids,
or they get married, or they go through grief, or
they move away, and our situation changes, which makes our
(52:27):
lives a lot harder in that experience because we don't
have the same support system that.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
We once had.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
So finding community alone is really tough and finding people
who can relate. So I'm hoping that this person is
able to find that and maybe it connects with some
of you guys, and maybe I can connect you guys
on the internet, because internet friends are also awesome, especially
in a season of life that you're already pulled in
so many which ways, connecting in person is often difficult.
(52:53):
So that is the beauty of social media, the good
side of social media. And I just want to say
that I'm so eternally grateful to everyone who shared their story,
whether it was in messages or in these audio messages
that were left.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
I think it's so cool that I've.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Created a community here where we can all share our
hardest things and hope that it connects with somebody else,
because we deserve to feel seen and heard. And again,
it was the entire point of doing this, of creating
this podcast was I often see so many things on
(53:33):
the Internet about trying to take away our attention or
trying to focus on things that aren't hard.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Or working on ourselves.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
But I love community, I love connecting, I love hearing
people's stories, and this alone shows us right when you
were out doing things for the holidays and shopping and
in the madness and chaos of the holidays, I hope
you see people from more.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Than faced back.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I hope you see them as someone who could be
going through X, Y and Z, as someone who could
be having the best year of their life while also
somebody else having the worst year of their life. This
holiday is meant to remind us to give grace to
each other and have patience and be kind. And hearing
all of those messages reminds me that I do not
(54:21):
know a single thing that's happening in any one person's
life on any given day, and it's my job and
my responsibility to show up.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
And be kind and smile and.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Because I can, because I'm in the season of my
life where even though it's been hard and there's been
hard moments while also good moments, it is my responsibility
as a person in this world to show up and
share love where and when I can. So hope we
can all own that and all show up in different ways,
and if this is not your season to show up,
(54:53):
that's perfectly fine. I hope you have people like me
that you'll run into where you get to experience the
love and the kindness of someone.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
And thank you a million times over for sharing.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
I hope everybody's holiday is everything that they need it
to be. And I hope that this next year brings
a lot of joy for a lot of you, and
hopefully new memories, new seasons, new chapters, and maybe for
some of you, the beginning of a story, and maybe
(55:29):
some of you the ending of a story, whatever it
may be. I'm really happy that you're here and you
share things with me, and I am eternally grateful for
all of you guys. Merry Christmas, happy Holidays, and happy
almost twenty twenty six.
Personally with Dan Fuelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It was the same time last year where I decided
to do an episode that addressed a lot of holiday struggles,
and it was one that I didn't realize so many
of us needed.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Christmas is my favorite time of year.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I love the warm lights, I love the yummy treats
and spending time with family and friends and going to
holiday pop up bars where there's all kinds of pretty,
sparkly decorations. And I put up my Christmas decorations way
earlier than the world approves of because I can't wait
for the season to come. But what I realized in
(00:51):
doing that episode and gearing up to do that first
episode was how much this holiday also means grief and
sorrow and sadness and anger and comes with many more
emotions than just joy. And so I had done that
episode and hopes to bring people together even more in
(01:11):
a season that's meant to bring people together, but not
through the happiness and the lights and the presence, but
through things that are hard. And you guys all shared
so many things about your lives, and you've done it
this year again in audio form, so people can hear
your voices through the things that you've gone through, and
I cannot wait to share these things that you've shared
(01:33):
with me and been vulnerable enough to open up so
that other people can feel less alone through similar things
they may be facing. And I know that not only
with Christmas, New Year's follows soon after, and that means
people are going to be posting a lot of highlight reels,
(01:53):
a lot of things that you're going to see where.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
They had this banger year, and you're gonna look at it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And say, holy crap, that's not what my life looks
like at all. And I need you to know that
it's not what most of our lives look like. Now
I'm going to give you a vulnerable moment for me.
This has been a beautiful year for me along with
a really hard year. I've lost certain people close to
me in different friendships, and a lot of things have
(02:22):
happened in my family, and I have been heartbroken over
dealing with my dog and my cat both being diagnosed
with two lifelong diseases that were now having to face
and treat for the rest of their lives, and at
the same time meeting someone who I genuinely believe I'm
(02:46):
going to spend the rest of my life with and
also having my dog and cat make full recoveries at
this moment in time, and having people who do surround me,
that love me and so port me in so many ways.
So while this year thankfully hasn't come with much grief
(03:09):
in the passing, since I do identify with those as
I've lost both of my grandparents, and the holidays often
bring that grief back up because I miss going to
their house on Christmas Eve to play poker with all
my uncles when I was very much not good on it,
but I'd sit on my dad's lap and steal all
(03:30):
those coins to play it. And the holidays do bring
up hard things as much as it could be a
beautiful year, and it has been an awesome year. I
look at this life that I've gotten to live in
the past year, and I got to host my first
ever show that's gonna be on streaming platforms, and my
(03:55):
health is improving after years of me putting it through
the wringer, and and I did meet someone incredibly special.
So I know that a lot of us are feeling
mixed feelings with the holiday approaching and with the season
happening already. So it's why I do this episode, and
(04:15):
I can't wait to now dive into all of the
things that you guys have shared, and I hope all
of us throughout this episode can feel seen and connected
and maybe, just maybe it will make this holiday a
little bit easier. And if you're watching this on YouTube,
then I have my emotional support water bottle here because one,
(04:37):
I don't drink near enough water, but also I have
a feeling I'm just gonna need a few water breaks
throughout this episode. I almost already needed one. If we're
going to start here, I'm not going to share any names.
People were kind enough to share them, but I think
it's best just to share their voices and let you
hear their stories. So we're going to start here with
(04:57):
the first one.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Honestly, twenty twenty five was the hardest year that I've.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Walked through.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
And as we just.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Went through Thanksgiving and now we're approaching Christmas and the
new year, it's hard. I don't feel excited or joyful,
and you see all these people around you and on
social media, and it feels like everybody else is so
(05:36):
happy and joyful and has wonderful friends and family. And yes,
I'm surrounded by people but I'm surrounded by people, yet
I feel so alone. And I know as the new
year approaches, everyone's going to be posting their highlight reels
(05:57):
and all the things that they've accomplished, and truly, I
feel like the only thing I've accomplished this year is
surviving it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Well. I think a lot of us can relate to that,
because surviving, not thriving has been the phrase for many
for several years, and it is a very isolating feeling
to feel like you're just surviving all the time when
the health struggles I've dealt with this year, I've realized
a lot about myself and about my body and that
(06:29):
I was in fight or flight for a really long
time following a very traumatic episode in my life, and
it just continued to spiral with the way that I
was treating and allowing myself to feel. And I think
it can be so difficult to find our way out
(06:49):
when we feel alone, when we feel like we can't
come back from something. And I know that feeling all
too well. Where you sit in a room and you're
surrounded by people, it seems like it'd be beautiful, but
everything in you is numb or everything and you can't
feel what's happening in that moment, and you need away
(07:10):
from it. I hope you know that's normal. I don't
think anybody, for one hundred percent of their life ever
feels completely on And we've all had these moments, whether
it be because of hard things or just because mental
health has been pushed to the limits. It's okay to
feel that way, and you're definitely not alone in that struggle.
(07:38):
We got another one here.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
In January, I bought the family business. In April, I
left my abusive ex husband and became a single mom. Yesterday,
a judge granted me said divorce despite him fighting against
it every step of the way.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
And this month I turned thirty.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Even though good things that happened to me this year,
it still feels bittersweet.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
Because I'm grieving the.
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Life I thought I would have by the time I
turned thirty.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
First, I want to say, if you again are watching
on YouTube, you saw me fist bump, Because anybody leaving
an abusive relationship should have all the praise in the world.
It's one of the hardest things to get out of,
and especially with kids. I cannot imagine the extra toll
it took on your body to go through that divorce,
to fight like hell to get out of it and
(08:34):
put yourself first for once and what was probably years.
And I know that it's going to be a long
road ahead, a long road for healing for you and
a long road of recovery for your whole family.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But I'm proud of you. I'm so proud that you
did take that step and put yourself first and fought
to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And while the road is going to be long, it's
going to be and it will be beautiful, and you're
gonna think yourself a whole lot. I'm sure you already
are as you sent that voice note, because I would
imagine a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders
in a whole bunch of different ways, and taking over
a family business while also doing all of that is
(09:18):
absolutely wild.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Then you're a superhuman and I think it's so cool
that you believed in yourself to do all of it.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And we should praise us getting to do the things
that we've always wanted to do and finally doing them.
That's an accomplishment all in itself. But I can also
imagine the grief that's coming. When I had left my
abusive relationship. It was incredibly difficult to remember all the
(09:52):
bad things that happened, not only just because I blocked
them out, but because he had me really believing in
a life that supposed to happen, and I had to
rewrite the entire life that I wanted for my future
and rewrite a lot of my story that didn't have
another narrative in it. So that grief that comes with
(10:13):
that will be hard. But I'm just so proud of you,
and I think this is going to be your next
best season yet. And I hope that your community rallies
around you and your village to help you raise your
kiddos in a way that's beautiful and protected. And I
(10:34):
hope that just all the good things come your way.
This is kind of up the same realm, so I
put these two together.
Speaker 7 (10:47):
This season is rough for me because it's a constant
reminder that I had to give up the life I
was living to pursue the life I was dreaming of.
I've been divorced from my husband for ten years now.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
We have both moved on.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
I've been with my fiance for hello.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Over three years now, but me and my ex shared
three kids, so the holiday season is a constant reminder of.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Missed tradition, memories and moments that I didn't get to
have with my kids and he didn't get to have
with them either. It's just rough.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
It's hard to put your mental well being over everything else.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
So this is just a reminder.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
That it's hard, but at the end, it's worth it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It is absolutely worth it.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And two things can be true, right that it's the
best thing you did to get a divorce, while also
it was hard and you wish that it did work out,
and it's beautiful that you have both moved on and
found different lives. But I don't know that the grief
(12:25):
ever goes away. I don't have kids, so I cannot
speak from that perspective, But I don't know that you'll
ever not grieve that life. I think it will always
be part of you. I think anything we lose is
always part of us. But over time it develops into
different shape, form and memory, if you will. And I
(12:46):
believe that this new life that you're creating is going
to bring new memories that will start to make the
old ones easier. But I just don't believe it'll ever
go away, unfortunately, And there's a beautifulness to that that
you can always have those memories and remember a life
(13:08):
that you did have and a life that you created,
and you should be proud of because just because something
ended doesn't mean you shouldn't be proud of it.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
You still did it, you still had.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That marriage, you still created beautiful children, and you're still
living a beautiful life after that. We often have this
finite reality when it comes to things ending, and there
are some situations that it should absolutely be the case,
as in the one just before this talking about an
abusive relationship that should be over and ended and no
(13:38):
repeating and going back to it. But just because something
ends doesn't mean it ends in our hearts and in
our lives.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And it doesn't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Just because you decided to close the chapter doesn't mean
the whole story's over. And anybody could tell you a
million different ways of how you should handle that, and
I'm never going to tell anybody how to handle anything,
but I think believing and replaying those memories has actually
been official to you to continue to be proud of
(14:13):
yourself that not only did you create a beautiful life first,
but you also chose another path for you because you
thought it was going to be better. And I think
that's a great choice in so many ways. So there's
the two things can be true in that scenario. And
I often know that that saying is easier said than done.
(14:35):
So here's another one.
Speaker 11 (14:41):
So in twenty nineteen, my husband got a spinal word injury,
three months after we had just got married and right
before COVID and seeing him through his rehab, I fell
him up with occupational therapy and how it changed his
life and gave him his inde pendance back, and seeing
(15:02):
how it affected everybody else around him and were patients
with him, And so I decided to make a complete
career change. And I was had a degree in marketing,
and I decided I'm going to switch and go to
the medical field and get into occupational therapy. And so
this year was the first year where it was I
(15:23):
had a spring, summer, fall semester, and I'm thirty and
going back to school full time, Like this has just
been wild to me.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
I never thought that I would be able to do this.
Speaker 7 (15:37):
When I finished my marketing degree, I was like, hell, yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Get me out of school kind of thing.
Speaker 11 (15:43):
So it's really funny that I am going back to
school full time and doing this. But I guess my
advice is that you can always change your mind, you
can always change your dream, and opportunities will come for
you and you just have to walk through that door.
And it's going to be hard and it's going to
be challenging, but you can get through it and.
Speaker 12 (16:06):
You can survive this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Can I just say, holy crap that you guys got
married and then this happened. I cannot imagine that experience
for both of you, and also incredible that you were
by his side through it all to work through those things,
and I bet he is incredibly appreciative of the support
that you provided him. But wow, what a crazy turn
(16:32):
of events to then see a profession and say, you
know what, I'm going to change what I'm doing and
walk through this door. Because much like she said, I
applaud anybody who can see a crack opening and say
I'm going to go after that, because I know there's
times where I've seen cracks open and I haven't taken it,
(16:55):
or heck, even a window open and I won't jump
out of it to completely change the life. That to
go after something potentially even better is an accomplishment all
on its own, and it's so cool that you're doing it,
and it may feel crazy, and I think this world
is going to try and make you do anything to
(17:16):
stay comfortable, to stay in the position that you're always in,
because it's easier to be comfortable than it is to
be uncomfortable than it is to try something new. And
the fact that you're doing that all amits a whole
lot of things happening is wild and awesome, so dang inspirational,
(17:37):
and you probably didn't even expect that was gonna be
my response, but I think it's awesome.
Speaker 13 (17:42):
The month of November was extremely hard. I got anxiety
and add symptoms that resurface that I haven't felt in
ten years since college, And after struggling for an entire month,
productivity decreasing, realize.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That I was doom scrolling and staring.
Speaker 13 (18:02):
My staring at my computer screen at work without getting
any work done, finally decided to go get help for
the first time. I saw a psychiatrist for the first
time ever, started therapy, and started anxiety medicine for the
first time ever, and I'm honestly feeling much better and
shedded my shame in regards to getting that help, but
(18:23):
so happy that I did.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Okay, I want to give some snaps here because getting
help is awesome. I think if you ever feel the need,
there is a lot of shame associated with that from
a multitude of places, but there shouldn't be. Getting help
is you putting yourself first. And you put yourself first
(18:46):
to take care of you, and mental health is no joke,
and getting medication to support you to go through life
is incredibly important.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
It's incredibly brave.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I love that you shared this because I know
there's a lot of people out there where getting help
could be shameful.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
But I don't want you to feel shame. I want
you to be proud.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I want you to say I did that, wear that
badge of honor, because getting help means you're setting aside
your pride, your ego and saying I need to do
better for me, and you're showing up for yourself. There's
not a lot of people who can actually say they're
showing up for themselves. They actually put themselves on the
back burner. I'm one of them often and to say hey, no,
(19:34):
I need to set this aside and take this step
forward is incredible.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
And I help more people do.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I hope in the new year we can have less
mental health issues, because it's clear that each year it
keeps getting worse and worse with financial issues, the economy,
the different things that people are experiencing, from job loss
to losing people. We are on a very difficult stage
(20:03):
with mental health and talking to someone unbiased, like a
therapist or a psychologist or whatever that may be, is
a brave and great thing to do and there should
be absolutely zero shame attached to that.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
I'm Morgan, I'm Sherry.
Speaker 14 (20:22):
Currently live in Tennessee, but moved just under three months
ago from Maryland. Diagnosed with stage four breast cancer about
fifteen months ago, and currently my struggle is because of
my treatment. I've gained a lot of weight and despite
a lot of effort, my treatment is preventing me from
(20:44):
losing weight.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
So not feeling.
Speaker 14 (20:51):
Myself, struggling with body image, really wanting to get back
into the dating world and New State.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Not knowing anybody.
Speaker 14 (21:08):
Having cancer, meddling weight issues, it's been a lot.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Thanks for leaving me that for a second. Love your pod.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Cherry, I hope you know that you are beautiful and
I know that just in the way that you presented yourself. Gosh,
and it sounds like you need to give yourself some
grace because you've been through it and you can't fix
the world in one day, and you can't fix yourself
in one day. You are fighting an illness that shouldn't
(21:45):
exist in the fricking first place. Fuck cancer, But you're
taking care of yourself. You're doing treatments to help you
get better.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And I hate that it's.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Taking away your confidence and it's hurting you in ways
that you didn't imagine. Probably when this all happened, you
were just thinking about the diagnosis and how you're going
to survive, and now you're having to face the body
image struggles and the confidence and things that you just
probably were not anticipating. And I hope you know that
(22:17):
focusing on surviving and taking care of yourself and your
health right now is all that matters.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
The dating will come, the.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Confidence will come back, The ways that you want to
take care of yourself when you've fully healed will still
be there. And I also help you feel supported by
whoever is around you and is reminding you that you're
beautiful and going through any of this, especially heck, if
(22:47):
you are trying to date and all of this props
to you because I know that's incredibly difficult, but more
so than that, hopefully it will help you weed few
even more red flyings that are out there, because hopefully,
if you do meet someone, they show you how incredibly awesome,
strong and supportive they are, and if not, kick come
(23:08):
to the curb really fast. But more than anything, I
want you to give yourself some grace because you're going
through a really tough time and moving in all kinds
of things that are happening at one time for you,
and sometimes it's okay to just survive. There will come
a time in your life when you will thrive and
(23:30):
you will heal and you will feel amazing. And that's
not going to be every day, and that's okay. There
are a lot of days where I often don't feel
great and I feel like, holy crap, what has happened?
And that's just on a normal day. I can't imagine
dealing with a fight that you're fighting right now and
(23:50):
trying to feel great about yourself. So I hope you
give yourself grace. I hope you find your sparkle again,
and hopefully you can also take some time for yourself
over the holidays and treat yourself to something, whether it's
to a dinner date or a spa or hack your favorite.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Guilty pleasure treat.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I just want you to give yourself grace and treat
yourself because I think that's what you deserve this holiday.
Speaker 15 (24:19):
Okay, when it's hard for us right now is my
sweet mother in law.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
Have a bring in your cup shirt, and.
Speaker 15 (24:29):
She's in the hospital undersation and she's alive that they're
trying to get her brain to stop swelling and everything
to go down and.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Look normal, and.
Speaker 15 (24:45):
We're just waiting and not know when when she's gonna
get better and when she's gonna.
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Wake up, and it's just hard, like right now, and
not having her here for the holidays. That's our hardest things.
So please keep us in your parish.
Speaker 16 (25:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Well, we absolutely are.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
And one of the hardest things is to be in
a situation where you're not getting quick answers and you
don't know what's going to happen, and the silence of
that is really deafening. Anytime I've had loved ones in
the hospital, it feels like I'm just waiting by the
phone for that.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Call or any call for that matter.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
To know what's next or what's coming, and to be
there and witness it is even more difficult, and right
around the holidays when you just want to all be together,
and it gives you a lot of perspective. The hospital
visits will always bring perspective of how you just wish
she had time back, or you just wish you had
one more moment of this.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
My heart's with you, guys, and I.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Hope that she is able to recover so great and
be back with you guys, and hopefully you can celebrate
a really late holiday, but we're thinking about you.
Speaker 16 (26:06):
I think the hardest part of the holidays is learning
to navigate.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Them without your parents. It's a whole new normal.
Speaker 16 (26:20):
That you're absolutely not used to, especially when you don't
have a lot of family around, or when you possibly
do have a lot of family around, but you are
not close with them, and it's absolutely a struggle. That's
(26:47):
a very hard thing to navigate through the holidays, regardless
of what holiday it is, and it's especially hard when
those holidays were your parents' favorite. So for anyone that's
(27:11):
dealing with that, whether it be.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
A new normal or an old normal.
Speaker 16 (27:16):
My heart absolutely goes out to you and just know
that it's a struggles for all of us.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I can't imagine the idea of even losing my parents
makes me tear up, so I cannot imagine what that
day will be like when they're no longer here.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
And the grief I.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Hear in your voice is heartbreaking. And to face holiday
that they loved, that you probably spent together and did
all kinds of.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Wonderful things, that's hard.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
And I wish there were magic words that I could
say and to make it all better and give you
a band aid to help the pain, but there isn't.
I have a few of these that are about grief,
so I'm gonna I'm gonna let them share, and then
(28:14):
I will give you CRIDs my perspective on grief.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Just the first.
Speaker 17 (28:21):
Christmas since my dad passed away, and I'm having a
hard time. It's hard just to keep going on with
life as usual when it feels like my world is
standing still.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Hey Morgan, I am my name slogan. I live in Maryland.
Speaker 18 (28:39):
Me and my wife had our first baby in January,
and my mother passed away on November ninth of this
year from non small cell lung cancer.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
So that's been.
Speaker 18 (28:52):
Tough to navigate, but just gonna keep pushing through. Appreciate
you guys and the Bobby Bunch Show. I listen to
you every day and thank you for what you do.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
Hi.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
My name is Nicole.
Speaker 19 (29:06):
I lost my husband to brain cancer two years ago.
The Christmas season has become a bit more difficult because
of that reason. We celebrate with our friends and our family,
but that only illuminates that my family's not all together
(29:29):
and seeing all of their families together and the new
year just signifies like another year that he won't see.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
There's a lot of grief messages that I received in
lieu of this podcast.
Speaker 12 (29:47):
The loss of a friend three weeks after she was
diagnosed with cancer. We all feel lost when we miss her.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
There's a few more of that I'll get into here
in a second, but I just want to address grief because.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Grief, to me is love.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And I think I saw a quote somewhere online. I
definitely know I didn't make this up, but grief is
love with nowhere to go. And I always thought that
was really pretty, because just because somebody's gone doesn't mean
you stop loving them, doesn't mean their story's over in
your life. Heck, it probably means that their story is
(30:33):
more so part of your life. Like I had mentioned earlier,
just because there's an ending doesn't mean the entire story
is closed. And how those people will carry on through
each of you that shared that, and how you're going
to share their stories as your life goes on, it's
(30:55):
really cool to think about because they get to live
on through you.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
But man, I just.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
My heart breaks for anyone who has to experience loss
on any level, because grief is hard and you'll get
hit with it at random parts of any day, and
so many of you are losing parents, and the idea
(31:25):
of that, even thinking about losing mine or thinking about
the loss of my grandparents, just.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
It rattles in my brain. And for you guys to
have lost people so.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Near and dear to your heart while experiencing like the
guy who shared that they had just had a baby,
and it sounds based on that timeline she got to
meet your guys's first child, which is so beautiful. But
I know hard do things can be true always, But
(32:02):
grief is just one of those prices we pay for
loving and showing up. And it's easy to look at
the other side of that and say, well, if I
didn't love and I didn't show up, then I don't
have to feel that pain one day. But I don't
know about you, guys. I think I'd feel the pain
a million times over to experience the love that I
(32:23):
get experience in my life even without those people still here. Dang,
I need a water break, my emotional sport water bottles
claim my name. So oh okay, I told you guys,
I'm an impath. So I feel the pain and I
feel the hurt and a lot of these and gosh,
(32:44):
there's a few more that address that, but also some
other things.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Morgan, thanks for asking.
Speaker 20 (32:52):
It has been a rough season and not many people
want to hear about it or talk about it. I
lost my back friend that nearly thirty years in March.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
She passed away from pancreatic cancer.
Speaker 20 (33:07):
We raised our daughters together, who were also best friends.
So this holiday season has been difficult without her. We
walked through her cancer trial together the last two years.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
So yeah, there's that. Also, can I just say work,
I've been at.
Speaker 20 (33:35):
Doing my job for over forty years now, and there's
just been a lot of changes with the computer and
a lot of changes basically, and I feel like everything
I've known for forty years I no longer know, so
that has been overwhelming as well, but we'll get through it.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
Twenty twenty six will be another new.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Year, another loss that unspeakable I can't imagine. I know
that you guys are probably supporting her daughter, being that
your daughter is her best friend and she probably feels
like you're a second mom to her. So I hope
(34:18):
that friendship continues to be such an important part of
your guys's lives, because again, her memory is going to
live on through that. But I can't imagine that kind
of loss, and my heart goes out to you. The
work side of this is fair. You guys can share
audio message about anything that's bothering you, guys. I love
(34:39):
hearing from you guys, because this is real life.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Work is hard.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It doesn't matter if you have the most perfect job
in the world or you people think you have the
best job in the world.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Work is hard. Work is work, and anybody who says
work isn't work is lying to you.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
It takes time and effort, and it's draining, and we
don't get near enough breaks to feel things that are
going on through our lives often, which means We're balancing
eighty different plates.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So work is very real, especially around the holidays. Everybody's
about to finally take a big break, and I feel
like it's the one time of year everybody resets.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
We talk about New Year's.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Eve and New Year's and the new resolutions, but can
we talk about the break that we get at Christmas?
Everybody for the most part, and if anybody else doesn't
get one, I think we should just shut everything down.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
The world should shut down for a week and we.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
All just get a break from life and each other
and do whatever we want to do for that week,
and then we reopen. Everybody can breathe a big sigh
of relief because we got the break that we all deserved.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Let me just say that. So here's another one about work.
Speaker 19 (35:50):
Hi Morgan.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Name's autumn on an emergency or nurse, and this is
the toughest season I would save for my life.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
Especially during flu season.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Everybody's coming in sick, COVID's rising again, and there's a
new flu strand going around. Nobody's wanting to get vaccinated,
fair choice. We're short staffed, overworked, the usual. We're not
considered as professionals anymore to everyone's opinion. Yeah, it's just
(36:20):
very tiring, and yeah it makes my anxiety very high,
my depressions kicking in, and it's just very overwhelming. But
congratulations to you and a new boyfriend. I'm very happy
that you felt this body who can treasure you in
(36:41):
value your values. Thank you for everything that you do
your podcast. If it wasn't for your podcast, I would
not be able to get through the day. I enjoyed
listening to it. I hope you, your family, and your
boyfriend have a happy holiday and a good year.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
Wife.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
First of all, this felt like an actual voice momo
coming from one of my friends in a text message,
which was so sweet.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Thank you to the kind woman who.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Shared that, because there's a lot of effort that goes
into this podcast and hearing that it helps you and
it gets.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
You through the day means a lot to me. So
thanks for listening. One. Two, I just want to.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Shout out all the people out there, the educators, those
that work in the medical field, nurses, teachers specifically.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Everybody has a role to play in our lives.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Everybody has a role that matters and an education that matters,
and we need teachers, we need nurses. We need people
to support us through every phase of our life, and
what you do matters.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
The work you're doing matters.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
I have two educators in my family, I have nurses
in my extended family, and I recognize you as very
important and very valuable. And I think the work that
you're doing is hard and the things that you guys
deal with is unimaginable, and.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
Just as I.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Feel that every job that we have out there is
necessary right now, and there's things that change and develop
over time, but we're always going to need teachers and
nurses in some form or fashion, and there's so much
crazy noise happening on social media around them.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
But just know that I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I appreciate the work that you're doing and the work
that went into you guys being able to do that work.
So I know it's a really rough time and I
know that you guys are in a really hard space,
but please know I appreciate you. I know there's a
whole lot of people that appreciate you, and I don't
want you to stop doing what you're doing, But take
(38:52):
a deep breath, take some time for yourself over the holidays,
and hopefully you can come back and be stronger than
ever to keep some are we in the ways that
feel meaningful for you in another work.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Capacity, we have a few of these.
Speaker 5 (39:05):
So I was let go.
Speaker 8 (39:07):
At the end of May, a month before moving to
a brand new place, hours from friends and family, and
it's been really hard. I've been looking for a job.
I've been trying to settle in a new place. But
that's hard to do when you're working retail part time
with a variable schedule to try to make some money,
money that does not make ends meet. And when you
(39:30):
need a little help or talk to about it, people
tell you that you're not working hard enough, or you're
not doing enough, or you just need a job. As
if I'm not applying and interviewing and being told things
like great, you made it to the top ten. We
got a thousand applications in three days. And then you
don't make it to the final round, or you make
it to the final round and they choose a different
candidate because they've got a thousand to choose from. It's
(39:52):
really frustrating and been a tough season, which I hope
is coming.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
To a close.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
I hope for you too, that's coming to a close
because I'm gonna say this and people probably disagree, but
looking for a job is a job in itself. To
apply for jobs these days takes a whole lot of
work and a whole lot of effort. So as long
as you're applying and trying things, you are doing a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
You're trying a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Heck, even if you're not applying and you're taking a
break because things went to crap and you're trying to
regroup and reset, you're also doing a lot. So I
hope you quiet out the noise, put some earmuffs on,
and take everything out of this picture, and know that
your new season is coming. This is just a bump
(40:40):
in your road, and there will come a time when
you look back in your life and you will have
gotten over it, and you did it because of how
strong you are, because of how much you push yourself
and the willpower that you do have. So quiet the
noise around you, because sometimes the people around us can
also be really detrimental to us when we're going through
(41:00):
a certain season. They're really helpful and they're necessary and important,
but sometimes it's also necessary and important to focus on
you and go into your own shell cocoon and focus
on what's the most important thing for you right now
in this moment. And I hope that season does come
to an end so you can start your new one
(41:21):
and it's incredible, and you kick ass at a new
job because you will and you'll find.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
It, even if it's a small job to get to
a big job.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
There's always seasons of this where we never know what
is just around the corner. And I think there is
more around your corner, because this isn't the ending half
the time, it's only the beginning.
Speaker 21 (41:49):
After my mom thought rist cancer and one my husband
and I struggled with fertility miscarriages, still struggling, probably can't
have kids, and then lost my dad this summer, so
really struggling season with being grateful that my mom survived and.
Speaker 5 (42:16):
With the loss of someone you loves and the hardships
that go along with fertility issues.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Oh man, all of those things that I can't personally
imagine and I've never walked through. But gosh, to be
able to celebrate your mom beating something while also losing
another parent and to be really wanting something to happen
and hoping that this is going to happen for you, guys,
while experiencing those two things.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Holy crap, I.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Simply couldn't put myself in your shoes even if I
wanted to. And I'm sorry that this is all happening
at the same time. When it rains, it pours something
to that effect, and.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Man it does.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Sometimes you're dealt with a hurricane instead of a tornado,
or a light rain.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Instead of a tsunami.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
But I'm sorry that yours seems to have been a
tsunami for the last several months. And I hope that
one you are able to find some love and light
in the memories of your dad and also hopefully receive
some good news soon or a new door opening in
some way. If it isn't the path that you guys
(43:33):
want to be on, but maybe it's an even better one.
So my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine
balancing all of those things at one time.
Speaker 22 (43:44):
I H's Sap from Apple Belli, California. It's been a
rough year, some health issues, some financial issues. Being fifty
six and single, I'm not sure how to navigate this.
I do have two great kids and four amazing grandkids,
so that keeps me going, and some great friends, but
(44:08):
I would really like to figure out life and be
happy on my own.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
With myself. So hopefully this helps.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
I do hope you're able to find the happiness within
yourself because it's a really fun season when you can
hit that. I heard the hurt in your voice of
fifty two in single.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
I hope you know.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
That love doesn't have an age limit. That's going to
come at any point in time in your life when
it's supposed to happen. Oh, I know, I can't believe
I'm saying that, but it will, and you're more than
capable of it.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Because here's the thing. This is what I always told myself.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
I exist, and I have love in my heart, and
I have so much love to give. And if I exist,
then someone else out there exists to give me that
same thing in return. And it's really hard often to
see that. It's hard to see through all the mud
and things that you've gone through to hope that there's
(45:10):
a light at the end of that tunnel. But there
always is, and unfortunately sometimes it takes a really long
time to get to that light, but you always will.
Maybe it's more of a lighthouse than a shining studio light,
but you will, and it will happen, and I think
it's gonna be beautiful when it does, and it's gonna
(45:31):
be a new season for you because you're gonna be
like fifty two and married and it's gonna be awesome,
and you're deserving of that. You're deserving to find love
as many times as you want to. You're deserving to
never get married again if you don't want to, if
you want to be fifty two and single, maybe you're
single and you're like, heck, yeah, I really like this life.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Never again do I want to be married?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
And whatever you choose, I hope you know that it's
gonna be an awesome decision either way. But I want
to also recognize that I know how hard a single
season is, especially being a single mom and having beautiful kids,
and also knowing you have history in certain scenarios, and
all of those things are hard and they're difficult all
(46:15):
on their own.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
So I hope you're another one.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Where gosh, I hope everybody here is giving themselves a
lot of grace and understanding because the new season will
come and I think it's going to be pretty awesome
for you. Michelle and Apple Valley.
Speaker 23 (46:32):
I would say that one of the toughest parts about
the season is newly dating someone else, or you've been
with someone for a year and it's time to start
sharing holidays.
Speaker 6 (46:44):
Which holidays do you spend with which family?
Speaker 4 (46:47):
And you want to make sure you do it.
Speaker 8 (46:50):
When you choose the family to spend say, Christmas with,
you want to do it in.
Speaker 5 (46:55):
A way that doesn't hurt the other family. And I'm
finding that this is.
Speaker 23 (47:00):
Harder than I thought it would be to make sure
that no feelings are hurt.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I'm currently going through this.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
It's so much fun to get to have new people
in your life and more people to spend holidays with.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
It's almost a blessing.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
At the same time, it's also difficult where you're trying
to balance everybody's feelings. You're trying to not hurt anybody's
You're trying to make sure you're nurturing relationships while also
keeping your family and those relationships that you've had for
decades happy. And oftentimes people do get hurt in the
mixture of changes because it's bound to happen. You can't
(47:39):
make everybody happy. You can only do all the things
that you can do right, and there's only enough time
in so many days, but I think there's also an.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Excitement to it where you get to add.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
New people into your life and find new traditions and
find new things that you never knew existed.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
But this is one of those scenarios where it can also.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Be equally as hard if you have family who has
a lot of opinions and has a lot to say
and they want things done a certain way, and that
challenge can be really tough, especially on partnerships. So one
of the things that I know I keep doing with
my boyfriend is checking in and saying, how are you feeling,
give me your actual feelings about this.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Tell me what you think I need to know where
you stand.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
And it's checking in with each other because oftentimes our
two opinions could get lost in that mix of deciding
what's best and how we're going to go this way
or that way where we're going to spend each holiday.
And there's a lot of conversations that him and I
have had of just trying to make sure him and
I are both happy and are both getting what we
(48:44):
want and how do we do that?
Speaker 3 (48:46):
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
So really open honest conversations, and that is on both
partners to share all their honest feelings and thoughts when
I know it's hard. But it's also on both partners
to own situations too, right, It's on both of them
to not only be able to share their real feelings
but also help navigate their families.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
They have to show up and say.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Hey, we're going to do this, and you're owning that
as a partnership, not just saying oh, well, my husband
wants to do this, or well him saying my wife
wants to do this.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
It's owning that.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
You're a team and working through that together. And we're
very much in the real thick of that right now
as I'm doing this podcast episode.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
So communication is such a big part of that, but
also just how cool that we.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Get new traditions and new memories and things that never
in my wild the dreams did I see happening in
my life.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
And here is our last entry for the podcast.
Speaker 5 (49:41):
Hi, this is Jennifer in Oklahoma City.
Speaker 24 (49:44):
And for me, I am at the age where I
still have children. I have my youngest is a freshman
or actually she's a sophomore in college and she's out
of state, so I'm trying to help her along. But
then I also have of aging parents who have reached
the age where they need a little bit of help too,
So I'm caught between my kids and my parents. And
(50:07):
I will say this, aging parents are much harder to
raise than even teenagers. But I just am trying to
find other people that are in that phase of life
and build that support. I'm really throwing myself into the
holidays because it's my favorite time of year and I'm
lucky that I get to rely on my faith.
Speaker 5 (50:28):
And I'm grateful.
Speaker 24 (50:29):
Morgan that you asked us to share, because I think
that's really what it's about. It's connecting to others and
finding out that you are not alone can be incredibly powerful.
So as always, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for
your podcast, and I just wish you the merriest of
Christmases and to all of your listeners as well.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
This is a beautiful one to end on for a
lot of ways. One because this is someone who is
navigating multiple different changes in their life, but who's trying
to do it with support in a community and find
friends while there is a lot of things happening in life,
and I think that's one of the hardest things of life.
It's one of the lessons that I've learned this year
(51:07):
is that when you go through life changes, and when
people in your life go through life changes, oftentimes friendships
end and relationships change, and it's hard.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
It's hard. It's really difficult to to.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
You know, as I get older and I see my
parents getting older and encouraging them to take care of
themselves in certain ways and do this and do that,
while also trying to just let them live their lives
how they want to, and wanting to talk to my
grandma about doing things so she's around forever. And I
think it's hard when you're in a season of life
(51:45):
where everything just feels up in the air and not
anything is settled, and that very much feels like this
situation to me, and I could be completely wrong, but
in trying to find friends who can relate to that right,
because we like to have friendships that connect to where
we're at in our stage of life.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
It's often why we see.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
People who are single and all single together and then
you get in a relationship and hopefully those friendships stay.
That's always the goal, but oftentimes they don't because people
get into relationships and others don't, and sometimes people have kids,
or they get married, or they go through grief, or
they move away, and our situation changes, which makes our
(52:27):
lives a lot harder in that experience because we don't
have the same support system that.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
We once had.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
So finding community alone is really tough and finding people
who can relate. So I'm hoping that this person is
able to find that and maybe it connects with some
of you guys, and maybe I can connect you guys
on the internet, because internet friends are also awesome, especially
in a season of life that you're already pulled in
so many which ways, connecting in person is often difficult.
(52:53):
So that is the beauty of social media, the good
side of social media. And I just want to say
that I'm so eternally grateful to everyone who shared their story,
whether it was in messages or in these audio messages
that were left.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
I think it's so cool that I've.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Created a community here where we can all share our
hardest things and hope that it connects with somebody else,
because we deserve to feel seen and heard. And again,
it was the entire point of doing this, of creating
this podcast was I often see so many things on
(53:33):
the Internet about trying to take away our attention or
trying to focus on things that aren't hard.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Or working on ourselves.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
But I love community, I love connecting, I love hearing
people's stories, and this alone shows us right when you
were out doing things for the holidays and shopping and
in the madness and chaos of the holidays, I hope
you see people from more.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Than faced back.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I hope you see them as someone who could be
going through X, Y and Z, as someone who could
be having the best year of their life while also
somebody else having the worst year of their life. This
holiday is meant to remind us to give grace to
each other and have patience and be kind. And hearing
all of those messages reminds me that I do not
(54:21):
know a single thing that's happening in any one person's
life on any given day, and it's my job and
my responsibility to show up.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
And be kind and smile and.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Because I can, because I'm in the season of my
life where even though it's been hard and there's been
hard moments while also good moments, it is my responsibility
as a person in this world to show up and
share love where and when I can. So hope we
can all own that and all show up in different ways,
and if this is not your season to show up,
(54:53):
that's perfectly fine. I hope you have people like me
that you'll run into where you get to experience the
love and the kindness of someone.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
And thank you a million times over for sharing.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
I hope everybody's holiday is everything that they need it
to be. And I hope that this next year brings
a lot of joy for a lot of you, and
hopefully new memories, new seasons, new chapters, and maybe for
some of you, the beginning of a story, and maybe
(55:29):
some of you the ending of a story, whatever it
may be. I'm really happy that you're here and you
share things with me, and I am eternally grateful for
all of you guys. Merry Christmas, happy Holidays, and happy
almost twenty twenty six.
Host
Morgan Huelsman
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