September 24, 2019 • 57 mins
Could an open marriage actually work? What is swinging?Thomas Middleditch says it saved his relationship!Teddi goes down this rabbit hole with a couple of swingers.
Then we step all over the idea of a foot fetishWhy is everyone sucking on toes?Is it safe? Is it a turn on?Let’s get the answers.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Teddy Teapot Cabin. So I'm Teddy here and
I am pretty excited to take you down my rabbit hole.
And you know what, I know there are those people
out there that get into bed every night. They think
(00:24):
they're just going to have a casual little scroll through Instagram,
and then all of a sudden, there you are two
and a half hours later. You don't know what you've learned.
You feel like you've lost a part of your life,
but you've gained some real knowledge about useless information. And
that's what I'm here to tell you about. We are
going to go down so many rabbit holes. I'm going
(00:45):
to bring an expert across the board. I'm going to
bring in people to push me out of my judge zone,
and hopefully we're gonna laugh make fun of ourselves. And
you know, I love everybody over here. At my heart,
Tiny is one of my girl girls. So I'm excited,
and I'm sitting here today with Jillian, who is going
to go down the rabbit hole with me. I am
(01:07):
so excited for this because everybody goes down those rabbit holes,
and it usually happens for me when I have somewhere
to be and I'm getting ready, and then I'll stop
and I'll get situated and like fixated with something on
my phone. And you just find out so much info
just on these crazy topics, and you're right, hours and
hours wasted, but you have all that info and then
(01:30):
you can speak on it, and you know occasionally people
are interested, right, right, So we're gonna say to you
all that trouble of doing all the research on your own. Correct,
So what are we going to get into today. Do
you think one has been all of this open marriage conversation.
I feel like it's everywhere. It's everywhere. Okay, First we
(01:51):
need to clarify some things. I had to have a
little convo with my husband. If you tell me after
the fact, it's cheating. Yes, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news. It's cheating if I find out. No,
And I was like, also, I don't understand the idea
of getting married and then having this discussion. Yes, it
(02:12):
needs to come way before, right at the beginning of
the dating point. You're getting to that point where it's
getting serious and you say, you know what, I am
going to be a person that has to be with
other people. But it doesn't mean anything to me, or
we can set ground rules or whatever it is. Okay,
then I would leave, but maybe some people won't and
that's fine, but I would be one that couldn't take it.
(02:34):
But at least then you're setting up the expectations from
the beginning. In regards to Thomas middle Ditch what he said,
it seemed almost to me like he pitched the idea
to his wife when their marriage was struggling. Yeah, and
they were already married, and it was the first time
that they had discussed it, and it seems like he
was into it, like this is something that he wanted
(02:55):
but that he kind of like had to ask her about.
But he kept saying, Oh, I don't know if I
should share this, she might get mad. Oh she's gonna
get mad. I hate to break it to your buddy,
Like if you have to question yourself, is my wife
gonna be mad? She's pissed. She's already pissed that she's
agreed to an open marriage to be with you. I'm sorry,
(03:16):
Like that is that is before you put the ring
on it be like there's one little caveat. But I
did also go deeper down into the rabbit hole because
at first I was like, okay, so there's I thought
everything was like swingers, but no, they're swingers, open marriage
and then polyamory. I might be pronouncing it wrong because
(03:38):
the rabbit hole sometimes they're not gonna actually get pronunciations.
But swinging, I can almost like get on board with
understanding because you're going in as a couple. You're gonna
pick another couple you want. I mean, I even learned
from my assistant that people in her neighborhood. Neighborhood had
purple doors and that meant were swingers. Come on in
(03:59):
and I was like, oh, she goes, And then the
white rocks were like, come off, oh really what also
a black wedding band that means you're ready. No, I
know a lot of guys I go, I hear guy
saying it so they can work out. They like that
rubber band on. I know who you are. I've got
(04:20):
your number. There's this rumor where I live that there
is one certain restaurant on Saturday nights. When you go,
you put your keys on the end of the table
and that's the signal to everybody that's there that you're
open to this party that happens that night. Across the street,
at the hotel. So they go, somebody goes through, gets
(04:40):
all the couples that are having their keys on the
end of the table. Then you get the key to
the hotel room and you walk in and you get
a new partner for the night. What if what if
you're not selected? What if I put my key and
nobody wanted me. You'll have to make sure that I
would be so wrapped up if I put key out
and they just ignored me, that's a heartbreak. Like and
(05:04):
how you're swinging, you always get the bad one in
every couple. I don't know, I'm not interested. Oh just
in this is huge gnomes at the front of your house.
That also means you're ready. Oh hi, hey, Dr Goldcher's
(05:24):
that you So I have a couple of questions. So
I'm assuming you know all about the Thomas story middle dish.
So my question is why do you think he wanted
to reveal it to the public. That's a really interesting question.
I have a two mindsets on that. I mean, one
(05:45):
could be I mean sort of a greater good attempt
to spark a conversation in a dialogue, perhaps any interest
in like normalizing it, which is to do um also um.
Maybe as a celebrity he could be out it in
(06:06):
some other way, so kind of getting ahead of it
might be better for his marriage and his relationships. That's
an interesting I don't know, you know it exciting to
be um in that kind of lifestyle takes a certain
kind of personality, So I don't know if there's a
there's an ego or narcissism involved that I was thinking
a little bit he wanted to be like, I'm studley
(06:28):
and I got my wife to agree to this. Do
you think that couples are reaching to do it once
they've hit trouble because to me, that's what I'm seeing
a pattern of things aren't going well, so now we're
going to try this. Yeah. I To me, it's it's
one of two things. Either people come into a relationship
with that mindset and with that way of moving through relationships,
(06:53):
meaning faith, I have a kind of in a history
of either being interested and probably enless relationships, or or
reveal upfront at that's something that they want to explore
and or I think it's hard to imagine that couples
who are doing really well and feeling really stable and
solid would be like, let's just add this seems like
(07:13):
an extra fun edition. Yeah, as as another hobby or something.
So I think you're I think you're absolutely right that
that folks in trouble it explore this as a possibility
of opening something up between them, And look, I mean,
I think there's some scenarios where it can be revealing
(07:34):
for couples. And I don't mean trouble free, but revealing
in terms of what couples roadblocks are, what their vulnerabilities are,
what gets in the way of them being more physically
emotionally connected. I think it can be really revealing in
that regard and help people in certain situations. Yeah, you
(07:55):
have to fight or flight, You've got someone coming for
you threat And psychologically speaking, do you think that it works?
You know, it's it's hard to imagine that this in
and of itself is going to make a relationship stronger
or safer or feel more connected. So I mean, I think,
(08:17):
like my my short answer is probably no. But I
think in certain scenarios where couples are distant in different
arenas of their life, that doing something like this is
going to propel a lot of feelings into the relationship.
I a conflict and and maybe it gets people to
(08:37):
talk more, to explore, um, you know, the idea of
losing one another, the idea of what masks they have
on in their relationship that make them, you know, more
or less available. And so in that sense, I've had
a few instances where a couples have been able to
use it as a springboard to reconnect, but not without
(08:59):
a lot of trouble, both before and after. And and
even Thomas Uh, this actor says that they argue about
it all the time. I mean, that's and any any
time I've seen that, I've seen the same thing. Because
how because when it comes to open marriages, which is
different than swinging, how are you making the rules? Like
how does it stop? Are you saying is that happening
(09:21):
one time? I have to approve the girl or I
want to know nothing? I mean, I just think there's
so many gray areas that it's impossible to ever just
feel comfortable. And and that is absolutely one of the
ubiquitous problems with folks I've worked with, and I'm sure
with with this Thomas guy, that the rules are always
(09:41):
fluid because you can't plan for all circumstances or all
feelings that are going to emerge. You think you might
feel one way about it, and then you feel another.
Your partner promises that you won't feel jealous, that you're
on board, and then the first time it happens, you
feel jealous and like you want to back down. I mean,
it's completely unpredictable because it's the reason why it's so
(10:02):
visceral for all of us is all of us have
that primitive feeling of like, God, that's so vulnerable, that's
so uncomfortable, that makes me feel so um so triggered
the idea of that, and no one can scape that.
And I also, I'm curious. It almost feels like it
could be one sided because a man may say, and
you know, I hate to do this, but I'm doing it.
(10:24):
But a man coulds like, you know, it doesn't sound
too bad to me. I go out and I do
what I want to do, and you know, I come
home and tell my girl about it and we're cool
with it. But really, is a man going to be
cool with his girl doing the same thing, Like, don't worry.
There was three others this week, but they don't me much.
I'm so sure my husband would be like, go sit
on the front porch and get an uber out of
(10:44):
my life forever. I find that it is really rare
that the that the power status within a relationship where
this is occurring is equal. And I was thinking about
it with with this actor, that of course is a
good deal for him because he's an actor and I'm
sure has access to a lot of scenarios where there
(11:04):
are a lot of women who are interested in being
with him, and we're all talking about him, and I mean,
I went down the rabbit hole. She works on his show,
so there's a whole power struggle there where you know,
what is she going to say that's right? So that
this feels I mean kind of inherently uneven and and
I imagine that's probably the case, I'm guessing, but that
(11:27):
for him, exactly what you're saying, Teddy, that like, what
what's wrong with this and what what is wrong with
this scenario for him? But for her, her access and
her just vision in their lifestyle is different, and maybe
she goes back into a corner that this is the
way that she has to keep him. And I think
he said that he decided to introduce this paradigm after
(11:50):
they got married, Yea, that he said it saved my
marriage and that you know. Here's the thing. Even if
it did, and this is something you've decided it as
a couple, I almost think it's like disrespectful to talk
about it if you're not if your wife's not on
board about talking about it. Just because you're comfortable sharing
it doesn't mean that your wife, who you've negotiated after
(12:13):
the fact with is gonna want you to share. And
she doesn't have a platform to share it either. I
I wish we could go down the rabbit hole with
him and be like, how many times does it happen
where you busted once first and then it happened like
I need to know, Well, it really reveals Just in
that interview, it revealed a lot about him from a
psychological perspective, that he would get married with the notion
(12:37):
that they were going to be a monogamous couple, and
sort of immediately thereafter, it sounded like upon getting married
and making the commitment, he had a revelation that he
wanted to to have this as part of a marriage.
She's already invested in her future and he obviously knew
this going into the marriage. These aren't things that just
totally shift. I get, like, keeping your relationship alive and
(12:57):
that you have to work at your marriage. I've been
married eight years is and like it's not always a
piece of cape. People will tease me that sometimes I
schedule sex, but you know what, this is life. Um,
But I do think the idea of telling somebody after
the fact kind of pigeonholds them, and I mean it
led me to the point where I even started watching
Why Women Kill because I was like, I need to
(13:20):
understand all the different dynamics about this, and you can
totally see the different personalities of some of the women types.
Not that this is necessarily real life, but there's the
ones that don't want anybody to know, and they will
go to all lengths to hide it and to live
in a marriage that's uncomfortable. Or the one which made
sense to me where her husband was gay and she
loved him and he was her best friend and once
(13:42):
she knew, she was actually fine with it. That I
could kind of, you know, I could understand versus somebody
who's choosing to have relationships with somebody else other than
me while they're with me and say they don't have
other feelings. Well, and in that show, there's a threatle
which the woman and the man are married, and then
she is allowed to date other women. This is something
(14:03):
they've agreed on. But then they bring a woman into
their relationship and become a throutle and they all live
together and they're both in love with the girl and
not the one they're married to. It's like a whole situation,
but you totally fall for it. And then of course
the girls like super hot and you're like, gosh, she
would be don't pick someone medium, pick a ten. But no,
(14:25):
I don't have any emotional connection to her. She's just hot, cooks, cleans,
does everything for me. It's fine, my wife that ignores
me and puts me down. Love her. It's not going
to get in the way. But I mean that's I mean,
that's kind of where where I am. And I really
appreciate you helping us kind of figure this out because
(14:46):
I was like needing to know the psyche of it all. Okay,
you guys, So I have um one more sign that
you can tell somebody's a swinger, and it's if they
leave a pie an apple on their front doorstep. That's
also a sign. It's very weird, but it's a thing,
just left it there, like I'm not looking for anything,
(15:09):
but sometimes stuff spells out. Usually it's in a box though,
right if it's coming from Amazon, then though to somebody
just come up to the door and knock, and then
I don't know. I feel like we need to call
some swingers, which I know that we are almost um
calling them soon, but before I have a really really
funny story. So I'm I've been married for almost a year,
(15:32):
but um, seven years ago, when I met my husband's
parents for the very very first time. Um, you know,
we're we parked outside his parents house and he's like, Danielle,
before you meet my parents, I have something to tell you.
I was like, okay, well what and he goes, my
parents are swingers and he's like you needed to know
that before you like have dinner with them. And I
(15:54):
was like, you're lying and there's no way. And he's like,
I swear, like, don't be awkward about it. You know,
it's very normal telling you. Yeah. He's like, it's a
very normal thing in our family, so just be cool
about it. And I was like, oh my god, Okay,
literally had dinner. It was never brought up. You get
in the car on the way home, he's like, by
the way, my parents are in swingers. I was like,
(16:17):
screw you, you suck Like I kind of love him already.
I need to go down his minute rabbit and Jill
knows him. He's like, that is so funny. Anyways, I
think we have the swingers on right. Hi guys, Jackie
and John Y, Hi guys, are you ready to go
(16:38):
down the rabbit hole with me? Absolutely? So? How long
have you guys been married? Seven years? How long have
you guys been swinging? Seven years? Oh? So when you
first got together, was this and you started committed relationship?
Did you guys say that this was something you're interested
(17:00):
in doing or did you wait until after you got married?
It was when we started, uh, when we reconnected because
we've known each other since high school. So when we
reconnected seven and a half years ago, Um, I owned
swingers clubs and I had for many years, and so
the topic of swinging came up right away. Okay, that's cool.
And then so are is there truth to some of
(17:23):
the things like if you have a purple door you're
interested in swinging, or a pineapple or a gnome or
a black wedding ring, or you put keys at the
end of your table at certain restaurants that you're like, ready,
this girl is so awkward. Absolutely. So the swingers that
(17:49):
do that, yes, but there's people that are not swingers
that do the same things, and so you might be
careful if you're gonna approach someone with with their keys
on the edge of the table at the restaurant. Oh
so if you swing, that means you go with a
couple and then you both switch, or can you go
with anybody? So we were I mean us personally, we
(18:09):
were swingers, you know, the lifestyle, but we're also in
an open relationship. So Jackie and I played together and
we also play separately, okay, and so now we have
a lot more questions to ask because I was I
was understanding swinging way more than I was understanding the
open relationship. For the open relationship, do you guys have
(18:30):
to tell each other if it's somebody else? Is there
any mention or it's just no? We we we do,
maybe not necessarily beforehand, but it's always it's always discussed
because even our open relationship is still something we're doing together.
Even when we play separately, you know, what happens during
that time will be shared with each other and you know,
(18:51):
it might lead to something hot between Jackie and I
or you know, conversations. So we're definitely very open about
our other relationships and honest about them. Do you ever
get jealous? I have before, Yes, what happened And then,
you know, when when we were very first together, you know,
(19:14):
I had no frame of reference for swinging. I had
only been involved in your traditional monogamous relationships. So to
make that switch, you know, there was a learning curve
for me. So there were there were sometimes early on
where I found myself in the midst of some fears,
(19:36):
and so we had to talk about this. I had
to kind of walk myself through them. You know, today,
looking back, it seems so foreign that I would have
felt like that, that I understand the progression that needed
to happen in order to get me to where I
am today, to where our relationship just is very natural
(19:57):
to me. Do you think at first it was the
conversation came up mainly because you wanted to make sure
that you could stay with John or was it more
you were I've always kind of been open to the idea,
but just nobody had brought it up before. I knew
nothing about swingy, so It was never even in my use,
never even a conversation I was having because of the
(20:18):
way I was raised. So to reconnect with John and
then have him say, well, I own swingers clubs, I
didn't even know what that was. But I was. I
was on the outskirts of a divorce, and so I
was kind of ready, I think for something different. You know,
I felt like, gosh, I don't know how to I
(20:40):
don't know how to do these basic monogamous relationships. You know,
I'm a failure. I'm outside of this marriage now, I'm divorced.
I'm forty eight years old. There must be something wrong
with me kind of mentality. And so to have John
bring this up, I didn't immediately shut it down because one,
(21:02):
I didn't know anything about it. Into there was some
curiosity about it, like, well, maybe this is going to
offer something different that I haven't tried before, and we'll
see where it goes. And then how does it work
at the clubs? And can anyone go you you mean
(21:24):
as far as how the clubs operate? Yeah, like how well, one,
how are they marketed? How do you know if you're
going to a swingers club? Once you get there, how
do you say you're ready, What if you don't like
the person that wants to swing with you? I mean
I want all the jee Well look, you know most
swingers clubs in my clubs are clubs or private clubs.
(21:47):
So you have to fill out a members application. Do
you have to submit a photo of it? Not at
our club. But there's some parties that they're more selective
about who attends. UM, we don't care about that. I
mean really, people from all walks of life, shapes and
sizes attend our clubs. The um you know, the main
thing is you're you're in a relationship and are curious
(22:09):
about the lifestyle in some way. That's how you know,
that's what it would take to become a member. And
uh and then once you're there, you know, we we
we talked to couples all the time about how to
what you need to do before your first experience. So
maybe set some boundaries for yourselves. Is a couple don't
break them? You know, maybe the husband has a fear
(22:31):
of his wife kissing another man, and so that might be,
you know, a pretty simple boundary. Maybe they don't want
to play with our couple, They're just gonna play in
the in the in the vicinity of another couple. Not
to be ignorant, but his play sex play Yes, Well,
I don't know if it's like fooling around or play
is like the real the full deal? Yeah, I mean
(22:56):
that it can be for sure. I mean really playing
could could could just be laying on a bed in
an area where other people are laying on beds and
you just are making out with your wife your husband.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex. Does
it happen in the clubs or you just meet the
people in the clubs and then you do this other places.
(23:16):
So there's two different types of clubs. Some are off
premise where people go to the place and they have
sex off the premise, you know, like maybe hotel parties
or something like that. Um, but our clubs are on
premise clubs, so people have sex at the club. Wow.
What if you get all of a sudden you realize like, no,
I don't want to do this, then that's it. Then
you're just out want to do it, And maybe you
(23:39):
have a signal with your partner to let them know
that you're you know, a right. Maybe you just come
out and say like this isn't for me, let's go
have another drink. Well, you, guys, I can't thank you
enough for being so open and vulnerable and sharing with us,
because you know it, we really knew nothing going into
this other than what we could find on the internet.
We could keep talking to you, guys, yeah, we could,
(24:01):
but we're like getting that, you know, We're like, we're like,
oh no, we're running out of time. But thank you
so much. We really appreciate it. Sure, we appreciate you
talking to us and take the time to listen to
our side of the stories. Don't you worry. I'll be
checking out your blog open Love one on one dot com.
Thanks guys. I mean, so, I know I don't know
you that well, but would you ever do this? I
(24:22):
don't think I could. I don't. I honestly don't think
I could. I mean part of it I was like, Okay,
this seems like they're they're healthy and understand And then
part of me I was like that like broke my
heart a little bit too, because I can imagine the
highs and lows that you must have to feel all
the time, and I think you're never actually feeling secure
(24:43):
with your husband or wife like he seemed very secure
like she seems. She was very vulnerable and honest and
kind and like you know, straightforward. But he seemed very
secure in what he was doing. But you could tell
she's still, you know, figuring it out. And I you know,
I appreciated her being able to share that way, but
I think that's the way a lot of women are
(25:03):
going to feel um. So that for me, I mean,
it's like middle Ditch said, he said, I'm the gas,
she's the brakes. Because she doesn't want to do it.
That's the problem. And if your whole marriage is you
don't want to do it, it's that's gonna wear on
you more than just not having an open relationship I
think and trying to keep things spicy other ways. I
(25:26):
mean from that, it's being a spicy We got to
talk about some of this toad sucking that's been going down.
Why is everybody doing it? What do you mean? I
love it? Just kidding, Jillian. Your skin is so good.
I have a feeling you've already been down in some
Beauty Choose on your own, Yes, I I do. I
(25:49):
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(26:10):
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(26:31):
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(26:55):
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E d d I at checkout. Okay, So, in regards
(27:19):
to the toes sucking, I gotta start with, like the
most obvious, have you ever sucked anyone's toes? I never had?
And I have never had my toes sucked. I haven't either,
And I actually asked my husband and I were talking
about it because you know, I was going down the
rabbit hole because of all of these people toe sucking,
and I was like, baby, I have a question. Would
you ever want me to suck your toes? And he
(27:41):
was like no? And I go good, because I'd rather
cut my own face off than suck your toes. And
he goes, you think I'm dying to suck your toes
and I'm like, well, they are so cute and look
like snausages, but either way, I just I can't imagine
being sexually aroused. But then I was like, I don't know,
Maybe I am just my my eyes are too closed
(28:01):
to the possibility of what could be so sexual about
to sucking, right, and we've never tried it, so how
do we know? I don't know, but I don't think
we should try today. I mean, I have a lot
of questions, but I mean, there are so many people
to sucking. Julianne Huffs loves her toes being sucked. Yes,
her husband Brooks He admitted that she loves it, but
(28:22):
he doesn't make her suck his tones. That's a good
husband at least, Like you know what, I'm not going
to make you go there, I mean min min's feet.
There's to me, there's nothing more disgusting than seeing a
man in like flip flops or mandols, like, oh, I
can't wait to get those bad boys in my mouth. No,
lamar Odom was sucking toes, Babies are sucking their parents toes,
(28:49):
sing it on Instagrams that I don't even need to
get into on that rabbit hole, Like I had enough.
Like I read his comments. I was like here for
the comments and then I was done. But I do
think that we need to get a toe expert on
the line to really give give us the juice on
like what it is and is it a control thing?
(29:09):
You just want to be able to say, you know what,
I can get them to suck my friend or do
they really just love it? Okay, so there's a guy
named the toe bro. Yes, who I think We're going
to get a lot of these questions answered? All right toebro.
We have a couple of questions. Our questions aren't necessarily
(29:31):
surgery related, but they are about the cleanliness of toes.
Like how dirty are toes? It depends on how clean
the person is, but yes, toes could be pretty dirty,
depending in the environment they're in. What's dirty or a
tongue or a toe? Probably the tongue. Sorry, Edwin, we're
(29:52):
never making out again. They're saying that hands are dirtier
than feet, So, but tongues. That's in your mouth where
I'm like brushing it. There's a lot of back. Well
maybe your mouth is pretty good other people's mouth, thanks
toe bros killing it? Um? So, how should one properly
prepare to have their toe sucked? Definitely, some good soap
(30:16):
and water and scrub that baby down and get all
the toe jam out. No, what if somebody has athletes
foot or something or planners wards, right, Can it transfer anywhere? Yes?
It can? So that is a gross thing about about feet.
(30:36):
So if that person had warts on his toe and
you suck on that toe, you could definitely get some
warts around the mouth. No, and what what would it
be called around your mouth? Would it still be called
planners words? No? So a planter's worts is just a wart,
usually on the bottom of the foot, So it just
(30:56):
be like a an oral warts. Not the same as
general to warts, but would be another type of words
that you know, kids or people get on their hands.
I'm good with the oral warts um okay. And then
oh and fungus for sure, so let fungal infection of
the skin on the toe can definitely you can get
(31:19):
it in your jockey that's why they call it jockey
and that can spread to anywhere on the body, so
that your toe stuff is what causes jocket. It's the
same kind of fungus. Yep, that's disgusting. I have a
son and now I'm all amped up about the thought
of him getting athletes foot and jockey edge, okay, so
(31:40):
he yeah, it's pretty pretty cools. You just gotta make
sure he drives in between the toes. That's huge. Wait,
so I have a question. Is there a scientific reason
as to why people like getting their toe sucked? I
don't know if you're I would say it, but I
would say using the toebro mind is that there's a
lot of nerve endings on the bottom of your foot,
so I guess those being stimulated might make some people
(32:03):
feel good. Do you think it's also a control thing
that's not my He's like, listen, lady, I you know
I do surgeries. Oh no, but me dealing with field day.
When I saw that video, I was just shocked. I
was so disgusted. There's been a lot of videos. It's
(32:24):
hard to narrow them down. I've been down all of
the rabbit hole holes of but oh it's yeah, it's
could be pretty gross because I just think of all
the feet I see every single day, and the average
person's foot isn't the cleanest or this that doesn't smell
the prettiest. So I just can't imagine just having a
little baby suck on a toe. That was just shocking.
(32:45):
What's the grossest thing you've ever seen on a foot
or a toe? An infected wound. Those are probably the
grossest things you could ever smell or see, you know
what adding the smell and that was a low blow
toe bro. Well, honestly, we couldn't have done this without you.
Um now, we kind of we were definitely sold on
(33:07):
the fact that we don't need to be sucking toes
anytime soon. Bottom line, if we do wash our feet,
wash your feet with soap and water and don't have
any open wounds, I think I think we can basically
and we could watch the toebro on Annie. Oh we can't.
I cannot wait. We're going to learn even more about feet,
(33:27):
but no to s just about feet. That's okay, fine, Hello,
Hi is this Dr Stephanie. Yes, it is Hi. It's
Teddy and Jillian. Well, hello there, Hi. So we're good.
We're just you know, stuck on some things that we
were hoping to get some questions answered from you. If
(33:48):
you have a couple of minutes and we thought we'd
call the sex Guru. Absolutely absolutely, I'm honored to be
a part of your show. Well, thanks, so we're having
We're just gonna dive right in. Let's do it. What
is like what is a toe fetish? Okay? Well, a
(34:09):
toe fetish is part of the foot fetish, which is
actually very common. There's actually several degrees of a foot fetish.
One is a true fetish that um, someone cannot get
an erection or aroused or have an orgasm unless it
(34:30):
involves the foot or the toe or any part of
the foot that they have the fetish about. The other
part is just a simple kink meaning, uh, they're turned
on by toes or they're turned on by feet, but
they don't necessarily have to have them to achieve the
erection or achieve the orgasm. And then the there's also
(34:53):
the worshiping aspect of the feet, which a lot of
people are into, and of the toes, and it's common
for you said worship okay, sorry, yeah that's my that's
my Texas accent coming out. No, I just wanted to
make sure like they worshiped the feet, like the feet
(35:14):
are like queen or uh, well, if it's the female,
she's her feet are being worshiped as if she's the
goddess and yeah, and they stuck on her toes and
it's sort of like, well it's sort of like a
dominant submissive type of thing. Yes, I guess it could
be considered control and vice versa. UM. You know, the
(35:38):
female or the male that is um worshiping the feet
of the male or sucking his toes, is wanting to
show him he's the god, he's you know, his master, um,
you know, sucking on his toes to bring him pleasure.
And you know there's a lot of nerve endings in
the feet too that a lot of people find very rotic.
(36:00):
We actually just heard that what's more common for the
person who gets their toe sucked to get off or
the person that's doing the toe sucking. I think it
if you're looking for the perfect world, you need two
partners that are fully into it. Oh because a lot
of well we read it's very one sided. It can be.
(36:22):
But the problem because ideal that's my specializations is fetishes,
and so I deal with a lot of individuals who
have certain fetishes and I tell them straight out own
your fetish, be proud of that, because that's what makes
you unique, makes you unique and special. So therefore you
have to be upfront and honest when you're seeking a
partner so that you can get someone that's into that
(36:45):
as well. There's someone out there for everyone. I received
an email a couple of weeks ago from a guy,
and he was very upfront and he said, the reason
I'm contacting you is I would love to just massage
your feet. And he said for a half hour, an hour,
whatever you're comfortable with. I'll even pay you. This is
(37:08):
a stranger, a complete stranger. But he was very very
nice about it. But, like you said, very upfront and
said that I just I have a fetish and I
want to touch your feet. And I said, I didn't respond,
but I mean there's websites dedicated He was wanting to
worship your feet, you know, he wanted to worship you
(37:30):
as a goddess. But it was a sexual arousal for him.
So unless you're that was something you wanted to do,
it's wise if you not to do it. Do you
think it's possible that people could have a toe fetish
and not even know it just because they've never given
it a shot. Um, No, not a fetish. I'm not
(37:51):
sure I have any fetishes. Maybe orders often occur early
in childhood or ride around the time we start to
get sexual, like you adolescents, or you know, it depends
on if you're like Bloomer, early twenties. Uh, that's when
you know you got it. It's not usually something that
develops later in life. It makes you special, makes you unique. Great,
(38:16):
neither of us are special. Maybe maybe I'll develop mine
at forty. Okay, thank you so much, Dr Sefany. You
provided us with so much good information and I feel
like I'm leaving this well aware now to make some
some big decisions. And I want to keep my feet
(38:36):
clean at all times. You never know, you never now.
On that. On that note, you have to remember that
there are plenty of people out there that they're fetish
is smelly feet. No, you know what, Dr Safy, ma'am.
I'm sorry, Yes, ma'am. I'm I'm an expert on this.
(38:56):
I've heard it all, trust me. Wow, you know what,
I'd be happy? No, thank you, Well, I know what.
I'm definitely don't have a fetish for smelly feet. Thank you.
All right, thank you very much. Bye, And you can
find out more about Dr Stephanie at Stephanie Hunter Jones
(39:17):
dot com. Wells are you gonna come over? I feel
like we need some like testosterone over here to really
You've been making some comments over there, Yeah, like what
is it called from this side the Peanut Gallery. The
Peanut Gallery. I've been listening to this entire episode and
I love it. It's gotten super weird, which I'm excited about.
(39:42):
Um One, Danielle brought up the pineapple thing, which is
fantastic because I live in Nashville for like twelve years
and there is a community that lives outside of Nashville
that the pineapple thing is a real thing. So we
(40:02):
heard about this, and I know someone who like told
us that they lived there, and they're like, oh, dude,
did you hear about the pineapple? The pineapple means you're
a sweaer, but you have to live in a certain
part of town to qualify. Like I don't know, like
just in Nashville. This was just like right outside of Nashville,
um and like a lot of people live there. And
(40:25):
so I knew someone who lived there and we used
to just go put pineapples on his porn. Would people not?
I don't know. I was just excited about putting the
pineapple there. And I was like, he didn't follow, you
didn't even go down the rabbit hole. I was just
excited about that. I was just talking about like someone
(40:45):
who runs out of them because of the pineapple that
was where I left it. Well, I couldn't have left
it there. I'd have to follow up. You know, if
people came, people might have came, people might have I mean,
you know a lot of you know, not that kind
of show. Well as we keep it high high brow here,
I've listened to this entire show. This is exactly what
(41:06):
this show is. Sorry, I know, sorry, I'm also real quick.
Is the show called Down the rabbit Hole? Now it's
called Teddy te Pod. No change the name of the show.
It needs to be called Teddy Goes Down the rabbit
Hole because that's what you've talked about this entire time,
about going down the rabbit hole. I know, Well, because
there's but there's so many rabbit holes. I know, there's
(41:28):
so many. There's a toe sucking rabbit hole. Okay, so
are you into toe sucking? Yes or no? But I've
sucked on a toe just currently. No, not currently, but
I have sucked on a toe. I'm like, were you
into it you're excited to suck on the toe or
where you're not? I but it's different. It's different for
(41:51):
women that I think it is for men. I really do.
Someone said, yeah, they're because men's feet are disgusting. Absolutely, No,
there's just actually don't even have socks on. I can't
even imagine what's going on in No. No, I actually
do have socks on, but I have like these socks
on that are like even sex here, like ballet socks,
(42:13):
which I'm just not impressed with it at all. Um.
But it's different though, I think because for men, if
you're making sweet sweet love, women's feet are up in
the air no matter what you know. Yes, like I've
had hands touching and kissing of the legs, but there's
(42:35):
never been a necessity for the toes. There's a different
necessity for anything that happens in the bedroom. Actually there is.
I mean, I hate to break it to you, Well
there's some necess there's like three things that need but
sometimes you get weird with it, and for me it's
like one. Um, but yeah, I did it one time,
(42:58):
a couple of times. Okay, so one already went to
a couple of times. So it's a pretty common Jillian.
We are like not were like behind and when you
were sucking this toe, this one toe, were you enjoying it?
Because I feel like I don't know this the person
doing the sucking enjoy it as well as a person
who's getting sucked. I don't know. I just think I
(43:21):
was like involved in whatever weirdness that was happening, was
the toe being thrusted near your face, and like you
were like, oh, this is something that's That's what I'm saying. Like,
if the legs are up in the air, God, I
hope my mom doesn't want this shop. And that's why
I'm thinking this entire podcast, and like my poor family.
I've done so much damage to my family. That doesn't
(43:44):
matter at this point. But like if the legs are
up in the air and then there's just like that's
around you, does that make sense? I get the visual.
I still don't get the necessity. There's no necessity for
any of this stuff that we're doing. But it happens.
It happened, It happened, It had a couple of times,
happened a couple of times. It's not something that like
(44:06):
I I stick with, but it's it's not your go
to move, it's not my gut to my other thing
that I wanted to talk about by listening to this
whole thing, because it is very evident that it seems
like you guys are like against the guy on the
polyamorous um open relationship thing. But have you guys heard
(44:29):
of and I don't know if IMNA say this right? Cuckolding? No?
How did I miss this? So like cuckolding like a
like a cuckold, which I don't think. It's like a thing.
I need more information because I don't have my phone
easily accessible to do you want me to do this
on your show? Um? So like a cuckold, I think?
(44:51):
And I could be totally wrong about this. This is
different than the toe sucking thing. This is something I
do not know about. But it's when a woman sleeps
with another man in front of their boyfriend or husband
and like shames him about it. Well, that's because the
(45:11):
man wants it though he wants to be shamed. I
watched all about this on what is the show Billions?
I mean that's it's not that's not real life, I guess.
But either way, he enjoyed being shamed by his wife. Okay,
so like it's still a discussion that they've had, so
he will go and whether they're going to a sex
club or whatever it is. That's something that made him
(45:35):
get off. So the man's she's still doing it for
the man, I guess, but I don't know, Like the
just the envisioning what that looks like, that can't be
for the man. I think that like both parties are
enjoying that. I don't really know. I don't really know.
I haven't tried, but I think that, Okay, I'll agree
(45:55):
with you. Maybe I was a little one sided on
the situation. That being said, all of the experts we
had come on, we're also with me. Yeah, I agree
with you, But like there was just like I wish
we had a call that was the well, don't you
worry I have where's the Coco call? Yeah, you know,
(46:16):
you don't have to shame me because I'm going out
every rabbit hole. You know what. You only have so
many hours in a night. I think technically the cuckhold
is it's like holding CUCKOLDERI cuckold. There's all variations. It's
a man who is aware of his wife's infidelities. It
doesn't explicitly say he has to watch it, but that
(46:39):
might be added. That sounds so gorgeous. I wanted to
get let's just make up a new term and just start.
This is what people do now it's called what I
can't come up with the name. I'm not creative, so brilliant,
Oh you well about cuck holding is the closeness of
(47:02):
the cuck part to another word. Yeah, I didn't miss
that talk holding. But that's why I thought that maybe
Wells was right. But now you know, now we know
he's just made up a term himself. But either way,
So a man knows his wife's cheating on him and
(47:22):
he's like into it, he's into it, gets off on
the fact that other people are into his wife. Yeah.
And then I also think that there's another wrinkle in
it where please don't say wrinkle in this topic, like honestly,
yeah it god alright, that he likes being talked down
(47:49):
to in front of the other man. Yeah, that that's
like some FFT up staff. Wait I thought this is
what this podcast was. No, Jessica, No, this is good.
I'm just saying, like, who I can't imagine being like
talked down to me and have sex with somebody else
in front of me. These two things make me feel great.
(48:10):
So no matter what, the guy that's in the corner watching,
he's into it. It's not like he's being held there again,
that's the husband though, but he's into it, like he's
okay with I don't know, but I know it's a thing. Okay,
he has he this he hasn't experienced. I have not
experienced that, but I know it's a I've heard about it.
Like and like, I think that goes deep. I mean,
(48:33):
I don't know. I have no degrees in anything, but
like I feel like that has to go down just
like deep down childhood shame or something that's like past,
like somebody being a little bit narcissistic and wanting all
the checks. Yeah, you're right, you want to be shamed. Ever,
I'm messed up. Look at me. I spent hours on
(48:53):
the internet researching nonsense. You didn't look in the what
if dropped the ball? I was the thing. By the way,
the episode is not allowed to be called wellsing. You
know what, I'm trade market. You just can't. For those
(49:18):
of you who don't know Wells. Wells was on The Bachelorette,
he was on Bachelo in Paradise. He's the bartender in
this past episode, over this past season and earlier before
we started, I was sitting in this room and there
was just Bachelor Nation just sprawled out across the room,
and I was doing everything in my power to like
be normal watching you guys all interact in real life.
(49:39):
I'm such a fan of the franchise, and I was
just so excited to see everybody in this room. Is
it weird to see us interact with each other like
in a normal setting A little bit? Yeah, Like, you
guys are so normal totally, and we're all like very
friend I think that's the one thing that people don't
remember when they watched the show, is that everyone super
(50:01):
friendly because we all experience some weird thing that not
a lot of people can relate to, you know, um,
like being broken down and ripped apart and have like
nothing but therapy every single day about like weird relationships,
makes this weird bond that happens and national talent while
(50:23):
on national television and and well here's the thing that
I think that everyone forgets. It happens and that's like
really raw and really real, and then four months later
it airs and then you have to relive it. And
that's a tough thing for a lot of people to experience.
And so when all of us come together, even people
(50:45):
that like it's always funny to me, like when people
are not friends in the show or like enemies or
villains or whatever, and then you bring them together, they're
still cool with one another because like no one can
relate to what it was like living on that beach
or whatever it was, or live being in Prague, you know,
week seven of a show. Uh, it's just this, it's
(51:10):
a weird thing that it's just glue that brings everyone together.
So like for you to see us all together, Like,
first of all, I love everybody because I'm the bartender,
so like everyone has to like me. But yeah, life back.
But yeah, but for the most part, like we're all
super tight and the show can make us look like
(51:34):
we're against one another, but that's not really the case
for the most part. Yeah, I loved seeing that today
and the show is what essentially brought you to find love,
not necessarily on the show, but thanks to a tweet.
I haven't even gone down this rabbit hole yet. Oh yeah,
I need all the I need all the info. So um,
what happened was that I was on the Bachelorette like
(51:55):
years ago. Well that I know I'm on that that
part you're on that part of the rabbit hole. I
mean the other part of the you don't know is
that um my fiance is a huge fan of the
Bacherette and she like tweeted about me on the show
and what did she say? So it was like a
mental all and I made a couple of literary references,
(52:18):
and I think she tweeted out like, well's the best
he actually can read? You know, like who knew like
bench where people could read or something like that. Uh.
And then I think I responded to that publicly on Twitter. Yeah,
I think, like jokingly. And then we started d m
NG and then like things didn't pan out, and then
I became the bartender and then she was excited about
(52:42):
that and tweeted about that, and then I respond to that,
and then we started talking again. And then fast forward
to today we're engaged to be married and CONGRATU from
a modern family. Yes, I love this. This is so good.
I mean, I'm so old that back in my day,
if I wanted to like meet somebody, I had to
(53:02):
go to attempt to dance at a club and like
someone come chat with me. Like sliding into d m
S as a whole new well and Well has kind
of started this trend now of these people from Bachelor, Bachelorette,
dating celebrities. Yeah, Tyler c is Now I saw that.
I don't know if this is true, but I saw that,
(53:24):
like he couldn't be he chose Gi over the Bachelor
or something like that, and I was like, you know what,
I not a hard choice? Are you kidding me? Uh? Yeah?
He mean like the joke is that I walked so
Tyler and Mike could run, He says the joke. He's like,
(53:44):
grinning with pride, starting to get red. Understand how excited
I am about this because I did so much leg
work to make this a thing. Hold on, Tyler? Who
hold on? Not Mike, who was just here? Who's just here?
It's dating been supposedly DEMI and him are like a thing.
Did he say anything today? I mean, I'm not gonna
(54:05):
say this on this podcast, but I'm excited about it.
That's all that needs to be said. Your voice one up?
So he is he said something about it, and then um,
Nick Vile Yeah with the summer from the o C right,
But I don't know if that. I don't know if
that was true. And I'm friends with Nick, so he
(54:26):
hasn't hasn't told me that, But well most nothing in
the world would be for him to not tell me
this so that you could find out and then talk
about it on well, like who doesn't. Well you know
what you've really you let a movement here, I feel
I'm very proud of. I'm excited to see the couples
(54:48):
to come. Yeah, we'll see for sure. Called this well,
this is this is this is much better than you
can stand by this this one, I'm proud of the
other one not so much. Before you go, well, what
did you think of Luke p from Hannah season? That
(55:08):
guy scared me, Like I've never been legitimately scared from
watching a show, but he was like on a different
level and I could wish him the best of whatnot
we love it? I mean I wish blesses hard bless
(55:32):
that's the most southern thing in the world, but like
the most like like sociopath narcissist guy ever. And he
was so far on that show gas lighting you guys,
we next week should we go down? So what is
it is? So gas lighting would be like, Okay, let's
(55:57):
say you're in a relationship and you're talking about, Hey,
I would love if you could just you know, reciprocate
more okay, I will do that. And then three weeks
later they treat you like bleep and you're like, hey,
remember we sort of discussed, uh, you reciprocating more. We
never talked about that, or it would be I would
have reciprocated more, but you didn't do blah blah blah blah.
(56:19):
So it's actually your fault that I am the way
that I am. Wait, hold on, you just overtook that
whole thing. Are we doing narcissism or are we doing gaslightersky?
Gas Lighting is an action. Being a narcissist is a
state of gas Lighting is something narcissists do. Fair, fair, Okay,
(56:40):
So maybe we'll talk in the vein of narcissism, gaslight,
and sociopath what's sociopaths or killers? Narcissists are just boys.
Gaslighting guys are literally every when you're gonna meet the
(57:00):
bar tonight, that's where we are. The people that were
just in this room. Well, on that note, I guess, uh,
we gotta close up, We gotta we gotta close the
whole tonight. Thanks for listening. Subscribe to any teapot on
I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
This is Teddy Teapot Cabin. So I'm Teddy here and
I am pretty excited to take you down my rabbit hole.
And you know what, I know there are those people
out there that get into bed every night. They think
(00:24):
they're just going to have a casual little scroll through Instagram,
and then all of a sudden, there you are two
and a half hours later. You don't know what you've learned.
You feel like you've lost a part of your life,
but you've gained some real knowledge about useless information. And
that's what I'm here to tell you about. We are
going to go down so many rabbit holes. I'm going
(00:45):
to bring an expert across the board. I'm going to
bring in people to push me out of my judge zone,
and hopefully we're gonna laugh make fun of ourselves. And
you know, I love everybody over here. At my heart,
Tiny is one of my girl girls. So I'm excited,
and I'm sitting here today with Jillian, who is going
to go down the rabbit hole with me. I am
(01:07):
so excited for this because everybody goes down those rabbit holes,
and it usually happens for me when I have somewhere
to be and I'm getting ready, and then I'll stop
and I'll get situated and like fixated with something on
my phone. And you just find out so much info
just on these crazy topics, and you're right, hours and
hours wasted, but you have all that info and then
(01:30):
you can speak on it, and you know occasionally people
are interested, right, right, So we're gonna say to you
all that trouble of doing all the research on your own. Correct,
So what are we going to get into today. Do
you think one has been all of this open marriage conversation.
I feel like it's everywhere. It's everywhere. Okay, First we
(01:51):
need to clarify some things. I had to have a
little convo with my husband. If you tell me after
the fact, it's cheating. Yes, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news. It's cheating if I find out. No,
And I was like, also, I don't understand the idea
of getting married and then having this discussion. Yes, it
(02:12):
needs to come way before, right at the beginning of
the dating point. You're getting to that point where it's
getting serious and you say, you know what, I am
going to be a person that has to be with
other people. But it doesn't mean anything to me, or
we can set ground rules or whatever it is. Okay,
then I would leave, but maybe some people won't and
that's fine, but I would be one that couldn't take it.
(02:34):
But at least then you're setting up the expectations from
the beginning. In regards to Thomas middle Ditch what he said,
it seemed almost to me like he pitched the idea
to his wife when their marriage was struggling. Yeah, and
they were already married, and it was the first time
that they had discussed it, and it seems like he
was into it, like this is something that he wanted
(02:55):
but that he kind of like had to ask her about.
But he kept saying, Oh, I don't know if I
should share this, she might get mad. Oh she's gonna
get mad. I hate to break it to your buddy,
Like if you have to question yourself, is my wife
gonna be mad? She's pissed. She's already pissed that she's
agreed to an open marriage to be with you. I'm sorry,
(03:16):
Like that is that is before you put the ring
on it be like there's one little caveat. But I
did also go deeper down into the rabbit hole because
at first I was like, okay, so there's I thought
everything was like swingers, but no, they're swingers, open marriage
and then polyamory. I might be pronouncing it wrong because
(03:38):
the rabbit hole sometimes they're not gonna actually get pronunciations.
But swinging, I can almost like get on board with
understanding because you're going in as a couple. You're gonna
pick another couple you want. I mean, I even learned
from my assistant that people in her neighborhood. Neighborhood had
purple doors and that meant were swingers. Come on in
(03:59):
and I was like, oh, she goes, And then the
white rocks were like, come off, oh really what also
a black wedding band that means you're ready. No, I
know a lot of guys I go, I hear guy
saying it so they can work out. They like that
rubber band on. I know who you are. I've got
(04:20):
your number. There's this rumor where I live that there
is one certain restaurant on Saturday nights. When you go,
you put your keys on the end of the table
and that's the signal to everybody that's there that you're
open to this party that happens that night. Across the street,
at the hotel. So they go, somebody goes through, gets
(04:40):
all the couples that are having their keys on the
end of the table. Then you get the key to
the hotel room and you walk in and you get
a new partner for the night. What if what if
you're not selected? What if I put my key and
nobody wanted me. You'll have to make sure that I
would be so wrapped up if I put key out
and they just ignored me, that's a heartbreak. Like and
(05:04):
how you're swinging, you always get the bad one in
every couple. I don't know, I'm not interested. Oh just
in this is huge gnomes at the front of your house.
That also means you're ready. Oh hi, hey, Dr Goldcher's
(05:24):
that you So I have a couple of questions. So
I'm assuming you know all about the Thomas story middle dish.
So my question is why do you think he wanted
to reveal it to the public. That's a really interesting question.
I have a two mindsets on that. I mean, one
(05:45):
could be I mean sort of a greater good attempt
to spark a conversation in a dialogue, perhaps any interest
in like normalizing it, which is to do um also um.
Maybe as a celebrity he could be out it in
(06:06):
some other way, so kind of getting ahead of it
might be better for his marriage and his relationships. That's
an interesting I don't know, you know it exciting to
be um in that kind of lifestyle takes a certain
kind of personality, So I don't know if there's a
there's an ego or narcissism involved that I was thinking
a little bit he wanted to be like, I'm studley
(06:28):
and I got my wife to agree to this. Do
you think that couples are reaching to do it once
they've hit trouble because to me, that's what I'm seeing
a pattern of things aren't going well, so now we're
going to try this. Yeah. I To me, it's it's
one of two things. Either people come into a relationship
with that mindset and with that way of moving through relationships,
(06:53):
meaning faith, I have a kind of in a history
of either being interested and probably enless relationships, or or
reveal upfront at that's something that they want to explore
and or I think it's hard to imagine that couples
who are doing really well and feeling really stable and
solid would be like, let's just add this seems like
(07:13):
an extra fun edition. Yeah, as as another hobby or something.
So I think you're I think you're absolutely right that
that folks in trouble it explore this as a possibility
of opening something up between them, And look, I mean,
I think there's some scenarios where it can be revealing
(07:34):
for couples. And I don't mean trouble free, but revealing
in terms of what couples roadblocks are, what their vulnerabilities are,
what gets in the way of them being more physically
emotionally connected. I think it can be really revealing in
that regard and help people in certain situations. Yeah, you
(07:55):
have to fight or flight, You've got someone coming for
you threat And psychologically speaking, do you think that it works?
You know, it's it's hard to imagine that this in
and of itself is going to make a relationship stronger
or safer or feel more connected. So I mean, I think,
(08:17):
like my my short answer is probably no. But I
think in certain scenarios where couples are distant in different
arenas of their life, that doing something like this is
going to propel a lot of feelings into the relationship.
I a conflict and and maybe it gets people to
(08:37):
talk more, to explore, um, you know, the idea of
losing one another, the idea of what masks they have
on in their relationship that make them, you know, more
or less available. And so in that sense, I've had
a few instances where a couples have been able to
use it as a springboard to reconnect, but not without
(08:59):
a lot of trouble, both before and after. And and
even Thomas Uh, this actor says that they argue about
it all the time. I mean, that's and any any
time I've seen that, I've seen the same thing. Because
how because when it comes to open marriages, which is
different than swinging, how are you making the rules? Like
how does it stop? Are you saying is that happening
(09:21):
one time? I have to approve the girl or I
want to know nothing? I mean, I just think there's
so many gray areas that it's impossible to ever just
feel comfortable. And and that is absolutely one of the
ubiquitous problems with folks I've worked with, and I'm sure
with with this Thomas guy, that the rules are always
(09:41):
fluid because you can't plan for all circumstances or all
feelings that are going to emerge. You think you might
feel one way about it, and then you feel another.
Your partner promises that you won't feel jealous, that you're
on board, and then the first time it happens, you
feel jealous and like you want to back down. I mean,
it's completely unpredictable because it's the reason why it's so
(10:02):
visceral for all of us is all of us have
that primitive feeling of like, God, that's so vulnerable, that's
so uncomfortable, that makes me feel so um so triggered
the idea of that, and no one can scape that.
And I also, I'm curious. It almost feels like it
could be one sided because a man may say, and
you know, I hate to do this, but I'm doing it.
(10:24):
But a man coulds like, you know, it doesn't sound
too bad to me. I go out and I do
what I want to do, and you know, I come
home and tell my girl about it and we're cool
with it. But really, is a man going to be
cool with his girl doing the same thing, Like, don't worry.
There was three others this week, but they don't me much.
I'm so sure my husband would be like, go sit
on the front porch and get an uber out of
(10:44):
my life forever. I find that it is really rare
that the that the power status within a relationship where
this is occurring is equal. And I was thinking about
it with with this actor, that of course is a
good deal for him because he's an actor and I'm
sure has access to a lot of scenarios where there
(11:04):
are a lot of women who are interested in being
with him, and we're all talking about him, and I mean,
I went down the rabbit hole. She works on his show,
so there's a whole power struggle there where you know,
what is she going to say that's right? So that
this feels I mean kind of inherently uneven and and
I imagine that's probably the case, I'm guessing, but that
(11:27):
for him, exactly what you're saying, Teddy, that like, what
what's wrong with this and what what is wrong with
this scenario for him? But for her, her access and
her just vision in their lifestyle is different, and maybe
she goes back into a corner that this is the
way that she has to keep him. And I think
he said that he decided to introduce this paradigm after
(11:50):
they got married, Yea, that he said it saved my
marriage and that you know. Here's the thing. Even if
it did, and this is something you've decided it as
a couple, I almost think it's like disrespectful to talk
about it if you're not if your wife's not on
board about talking about it. Just because you're comfortable sharing
it doesn't mean that your wife, who you've negotiated after
(12:13):
the fact with is gonna want you to share. And
she doesn't have a platform to share it either. I
I wish we could go down the rabbit hole with
him and be like, how many times does it happen
where you busted once first and then it happened like
I need to know, Well, it really reveals Just in
that interview, it revealed a lot about him from a
psychological perspective, that he would get married with the notion
(12:37):
that they were going to be a monogamous couple, and
sort of immediately thereafter, it sounded like upon getting married
and making the commitment, he had a revelation that he
wanted to to have this as part of a marriage.
She's already invested in her future and he obviously knew
this going into the marriage. These aren't things that just
totally shift. I get, like, keeping your relationship alive and
(12:57):
that you have to work at your marriage. I've been
married eight years is and like it's not always a
piece of cape. People will tease me that sometimes I
schedule sex, but you know what, this is life. Um,
But I do think the idea of telling somebody after
the fact kind of pigeonholds them, and I mean it
led me to the point where I even started watching
Why Women Kill because I was like, I need to
(13:20):
understand all the different dynamics about this, and you can
totally see the different personalities of some of the women types.
Not that this is necessarily real life, but there's the
ones that don't want anybody to know, and they will
go to all lengths to hide it and to live
in a marriage that's uncomfortable. Or the one which made
sense to me where her husband was gay and she
loved him and he was her best friend and once
(13:42):
she knew, she was actually fine with it. That I
could kind of, you know, I could understand versus somebody
who's choosing to have relationships with somebody else other than
me while they're with me and say they don't have
other feelings. Well, and in that show, there's a threatle
which the woman and the man are married, and then
she is allowed to date other women. This is something
(14:03):
they've agreed on. But then they bring a woman into
their relationship and become a throutle and they all live
together and they're both in love with the girl and
not the one they're married to. It's like a whole situation,
but you totally fall for it. And then of course
the girls like super hot and you're like, gosh, she
would be don't pick someone medium, pick a ten. But no,
(14:25):
I don't have any emotional connection to her. She's just hot, cooks, cleans,
does everything for me. It's fine, my wife that ignores
me and puts me down. Love her. It's not going
to get in the way. But I mean that's I mean,
that's kind of where where I am. And I really
appreciate you helping us kind of figure this out because
(14:46):
I was like needing to know the psyche of it all. Okay,
you guys, So I have um one more sign that
you can tell somebody's a swinger, and it's if they
leave a pie an apple on their front doorstep. That's
also a sign. It's very weird, but it's a thing,
just left it there, like I'm not looking for anything,
(15:09):
but sometimes stuff spells out. Usually it's in a box though,
right if it's coming from Amazon, then though to somebody
just come up to the door and knock, and then
I don't know. I feel like we need to call
some swingers, which I know that we are almost um
calling them soon, but before I have a really really
funny story. So I'm I've been married for almost a year,
(15:32):
but um, seven years ago, when I met my husband's
parents for the very very first time. Um, you know,
we're we parked outside his parents house and he's like, Danielle,
before you meet my parents, I have something to tell you.
I was like, okay, well what and he goes, my
parents are swingers and he's like you needed to know
that before you like have dinner with them. And I
(15:54):
was like, you're lying and there's no way. And he's like,
I swear, like, don't be awkward about it. You know,
it's very normal telling you. Yeah. He's like, it's a
very normal thing in our family, so just be cool
about it. And I was like, oh my god, Okay,
literally had dinner. It was never brought up. You get
in the car on the way home, he's like, by
the way, my parents are in swingers. I was like,
(16:17):
screw you, you suck Like I kind of love him already.
I need to go down his minute rabbit and Jill
knows him. He's like, that is so funny. Anyways, I
think we have the swingers on right. Hi guys, Jackie
and John Y, Hi guys, are you ready to go
(16:38):
down the rabbit hole with me? Absolutely? So? How long
have you guys been married? Seven years? How long have
you guys been swinging? Seven years? Oh? So when you
first got together, was this and you started committed relationship?
Did you guys say that this was something you're interested
(17:00):
in doing or did you wait until after you got married?
It was when we started, uh, when we reconnected because
we've known each other since high school. So when we
reconnected seven and a half years ago, Um, I owned
swingers clubs and I had for many years, and so
the topic of swinging came up right away. Okay, that's cool.
And then so are is there truth to some of
(17:23):
the things like if you have a purple door you're
interested in swinging, or a pineapple or a gnome or
a black wedding ring, or you put keys at the
end of your table at certain restaurants that you're like, ready,
this girl is so awkward. Absolutely. So the swingers that
(17:49):
do that, yes, but there's people that are not swingers
that do the same things, and so you might be
careful if you're gonna approach someone with with their keys
on the edge of the table at the restaurant. Oh
so if you swing, that means you go with a
couple and then you both switch, or can you go
with anybody? So we were I mean us personally, we
(18:09):
were swingers, you know, the lifestyle, but we're also in
an open relationship. So Jackie and I played together and
we also play separately, okay, and so now we have
a lot more questions to ask because I was I
was understanding swinging way more than I was understanding the
open relationship. For the open relationship, do you guys have
(18:30):
to tell each other if it's somebody else? Is there
any mention or it's just no? We we we do,
maybe not necessarily beforehand, but it's always it's always discussed
because even our open relationship is still something we're doing together.
Even when we play separately, you know, what happens during
that time will be shared with each other and you know,
(18:51):
it might lead to something hot between Jackie and I
or you know, conversations. So we're definitely very open about
our other relationships and honest about them. Do you ever
get jealous? I have before, Yes, what happened And then,
you know, when when we were very first together, you know,
(19:14):
I had no frame of reference for swinging. I had
only been involved in your traditional monogamous relationships. So to
make that switch, you know, there was a learning curve
for me. So there were there were sometimes early on
where I found myself in the midst of some fears,
(19:36):
and so we had to talk about this. I had
to kind of walk myself through them. You know, today,
looking back, it seems so foreign that I would have
felt like that, that I understand the progression that needed
to happen in order to get me to where I
am today, to where our relationship just is very natural
(19:57):
to me. Do you think at first it was the
conversation came up mainly because you wanted to make sure
that you could stay with John or was it more
you were I've always kind of been open to the idea,
but just nobody had brought it up before. I knew
nothing about swingy, so It was never even in my use,
never even a conversation I was having because of the
(20:18):
way I was raised. So to reconnect with John and
then have him say, well, I own swingers clubs, I
didn't even know what that was. But I was. I
was on the outskirts of a divorce, and so I
was kind of ready, I think for something different. You know,
I felt like, gosh, I don't know how to I
(20:40):
don't know how to do these basic monogamous relationships. You know,
I'm a failure. I'm outside of this marriage now, I'm divorced.
I'm forty eight years old. There must be something wrong
with me kind of mentality. And so to have John
bring this up, I didn't immediately shut it down because one,
(21:02):
I didn't know anything about it. Into there was some
curiosity about it, like, well, maybe this is going to
offer something different that I haven't tried before, and we'll
see where it goes. And then how does it work
at the clubs? And can anyone go you you mean
(21:24):
as far as how the clubs operate? Yeah, like how well, one,
how are they marketed? How do you know if you're
going to a swingers club? Once you get there, how
do you say you're ready, What if you don't like
the person that wants to swing with you? I mean
I want all the jee Well look, you know most
swingers clubs in my clubs are clubs or private clubs.
(21:47):
So you have to fill out a members application. Do
you have to submit a photo of it? Not at
our club. But there's some parties that they're more selective
about who attends. UM, we don't care about that. I
mean really, people from all walks of life, shapes and
sizes attend our clubs. The um you know, the main
thing is you're you're in a relationship and are curious
(22:09):
about the lifestyle in some way. That's how you know,
that's what it would take to become a member. And
uh and then once you're there, you know, we we
we talked to couples all the time about how to
what you need to do before your first experience. So
maybe set some boundaries for yourselves. Is a couple don't
break them? You know, maybe the husband has a fear
(22:31):
of his wife kissing another man, and so that might be,
you know, a pretty simple boundary. Maybe they don't want
to play with our couple, They're just gonna play in
the in the in the vicinity of another couple. Not
to be ignorant, but his play sex play Yes, Well,
I don't know if it's like fooling around or play
is like the real the full deal? Yeah, I mean
(22:56):
that it can be for sure. I mean really playing
could could could just be laying on a bed in
an area where other people are laying on beds and
you just are making out with your wife your husband.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex. Does
it happen in the clubs or you just meet the
people in the clubs and then you do this other places.
(23:16):
So there's two different types of clubs. Some are off
premise where people go to the place and they have
sex off the premise, you know, like maybe hotel parties
or something like that. Um, but our clubs are on
premise clubs, so people have sex at the club. Wow.
What if you get all of a sudden you realize like, no,
I don't want to do this, then that's it. Then
you're just out want to do it, And maybe you
(23:39):
have a signal with your partner to let them know
that you're you know, a right. Maybe you just come
out and say like this isn't for me, let's go
have another drink. Well, you, guys, I can't thank you
enough for being so open and vulnerable and sharing with us,
because you know it, we really knew nothing going into
this other than what we could find on the internet.
We could keep talking to you, guys, yeah, we could,
(24:01):
but we're like getting that, you know, We're like, we're like,
oh no, we're running out of time. But thank you
so much. We really appreciate it. Sure, we appreciate you
talking to us and take the time to listen to
our side of the stories. Don't you worry. I'll be
checking out your blog open Love one on one dot com.
Thanks guys. I mean, so, I know I don't know
you that well, but would you ever do this? I
(24:22):
don't think I could. I don't. I honestly don't think
I could. I mean part of it I was like, Okay,
this seems like they're they're healthy and understand And then
part of me I was like that like broke my
heart a little bit too, because I can imagine the
highs and lows that you must have to feel all
the time, and I think you're never actually feeling secure
(24:43):
with your husband or wife like he seemed very secure
like she seems. She was very vulnerable and honest and
kind and like you know, straightforward. But he seemed very
secure in what he was doing. But you could tell
she's still, you know, figuring it out. And I you know,
I appreciated her being able to share that way, but
I think that's the way a lot of women are
(25:03):
going to feel um. So that for me, I mean,
it's like middle Ditch said, he said, I'm the gas,
she's the brakes. Because she doesn't want to do it.
That's the problem. And if your whole marriage is you
don't want to do it, it's that's gonna wear on
you more than just not having an open relationship I
think and trying to keep things spicy other ways. I
(25:26):
mean from that, it's being a spicy We got to
talk about some of this toad sucking that's been going down.
Why is everybody doing it? What do you mean? I
love it? Just kidding, Jillian. Your skin is so good.
I have a feeling you've already been down in some
Beauty Choose on your own, Yes, I I do. I
(25:49):
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to skincare. They've created a gummy that contains a very
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we face so many toxins in our daily life, pollution,
toxins in our food, caffeine, the sun, there's so many
lack of sleep, just everyday stress. So when they build
(26:10):
up over time, that's when we start to see our
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(26:31):
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(26:55):
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That's your beauty Choose dot com and enter capital t
E d d I at checkout. Okay, So, in regards
(27:19):
to the toes sucking, I gotta start with, like the
most obvious, have you ever sucked anyone's toes? I never had?
And I have never had my toes sucked. I haven't either,
And I actually asked my husband and I were talking
about it because you know, I was going down the
rabbit hole because of all of these people toe sucking,
and I was like, baby, I have a question. Would
you ever want me to suck your toes? And he
(27:41):
was like no? And I go good, because I'd rather
cut my own face off than suck your toes. And
he goes, you think I'm dying to suck your toes
and I'm like, well, they are so cute and look
like snausages, but either way, I just I can't imagine
being sexually aroused. But then I was like, I don't know,
Maybe I am just my my eyes are too closed
(28:01):
to the possibility of what could be so sexual about
to sucking, right, and we've never tried it, so how
do we know? I don't know, but I don't think
we should try today. I mean, I have a lot
of questions, but I mean, there are so many people
to sucking. Julianne Huffs loves her toes being sucked. Yes,
her husband Brooks He admitted that she loves it, but
(28:22):
he doesn't make her suck his tones. That's a good
husband at least, Like you know what, I'm not going
to make you go there, I mean min min's feet.
There's to me, there's nothing more disgusting than seeing a
man in like flip flops or mandols, like, oh, I
can't wait to get those bad boys in my mouth. No,
lamar Odom was sucking toes, Babies are sucking their parents toes,
(28:49):
sing it on Instagrams that I don't even need to
get into on that rabbit hole, Like I had enough.
Like I read his comments. I was like here for
the comments and then I was done. But I do
think that we need to get a toe expert on
the line to really give give us the juice on
like what it is and is it a control thing?
(29:09):
You just want to be able to say, you know what,
I can get them to suck my friend or do
they really just love it? Okay, so there's a guy
named the toe bro. Yes, who I think We're going
to get a lot of these questions answered? All right toebro.
We have a couple of questions. Our questions aren't necessarily
(29:31):
surgery related, but they are about the cleanliness of toes.
Like how dirty are toes? It depends on how clean
the person is, but yes, toes could be pretty dirty,
depending in the environment they're in. What's dirty or a
tongue or a toe? Probably the tongue. Sorry, Edwin, we're
(29:52):
never making out again. They're saying that hands are dirtier
than feet, So, but tongues. That's in your mouth where
I'm like brushing it. There's a lot of back. Well
maybe your mouth is pretty good other people's mouth, thanks
toe bros killing it? Um? So, how should one properly
prepare to have their toe sucked? Definitely, some good soap
(30:16):
and water and scrub that baby down and get all
the toe jam out. No, what if somebody has athletes
foot or something or planners wards, right, Can it transfer anywhere? Yes?
It can? So that is a gross thing about about feet.
(30:36):
So if that person had warts on his toe and
you suck on that toe, you could definitely get some
warts around the mouth. No, and what what would it
be called around your mouth? Would it still be called
planners words? No? So a planter's worts is just a wart,
usually on the bottom of the foot, So it just
(30:56):
be like a an oral warts. Not the same as
general to warts, but would be another type of words
that you know, kids or people get on their hands.
I'm good with the oral warts um okay. And then
oh and fungus for sure, so let fungal infection of
the skin on the toe can definitely you can get
(31:19):
it in your jockey that's why they call it jockey
and that can spread to anywhere on the body, so
that your toe stuff is what causes jocket. It's the
same kind of fungus. Yep, that's disgusting. I have a
son and now I'm all amped up about the thought
of him getting athletes foot and jockey edge, okay, so
(31:40):
he yeah, it's pretty pretty cools. You just gotta make
sure he drives in between the toes. That's huge. Wait,
so I have a question. Is there a scientific reason
as to why people like getting their toe sucked? I
don't know if you're I would say it, but I
would say using the toebro mind is that there's a
lot of nerve endings on the bottom of your foot,
so I guess those being stimulated might make some people
(32:03):
feel good. Do you think it's also a control thing
that's not my He's like, listen, lady, I you know
I do surgeries. Oh no, but me dealing with field day.
When I saw that video, I was just shocked. I
was so disgusted. There's been a lot of videos. It's
(32:24):
hard to narrow them down. I've been down all of
the rabbit hole holes of but oh it's yeah, it's
could be pretty gross because I just think of all
the feet I see every single day, and the average
person's foot isn't the cleanest or this that doesn't smell
the prettiest. So I just can't imagine just having a
little baby suck on a toe. That was just shocking.
(32:45):
What's the grossest thing you've ever seen on a foot
or a toe? An infected wound. Those are probably the
grossest things you could ever smell or see, you know
what adding the smell and that was a low blow
toe bro. Well, honestly, we couldn't have done this without you.
Um now, we kind of we were definitely sold on
(33:07):
the fact that we don't need to be sucking toes
anytime soon. Bottom line, if we do wash our feet,
wash your feet with soap and water and don't have
any open wounds, I think I think we can basically
and we could watch the toebro on Annie. Oh we can't.
I cannot wait. We're going to learn even more about feet,
(33:27):
but no to s just about feet. That's okay, fine, Hello,
Hi is this Dr Stephanie. Yes, it is Hi. It's
Teddy and Jillian. Well, hello there, Hi. So we're good.
We're just you know, stuck on some things that we
were hoping to get some questions answered from you. If
(33:48):
you have a couple of minutes and we thought we'd
call the sex Guru. Absolutely absolutely, I'm honored to be
a part of your show. Well, thanks, so we're having
We're just gonna dive right in. Let's do it. What
is like what is a toe fetish? Okay? Well, a
(34:09):
toe fetish is part of the foot fetish, which is
actually very common. There's actually several degrees of a foot fetish.
One is a true fetish that um, someone cannot get
an erection or aroused or have an orgasm unless it
(34:30):
involves the foot or the toe or any part of
the foot that they have the fetish about. The other
part is just a simple kink meaning, uh, they're turned
on by toes or they're turned on by feet, but
they don't necessarily have to have them to achieve the
erection or achieve the orgasm. And then the there's also
(34:53):
the worshiping aspect of the feet, which a lot of
people are into, and of the toes, and it's common
for you said worship okay, sorry, yeah that's my that's
my Texas accent coming out. No, I just wanted to
make sure like they worshiped the feet, like the feet
(35:14):
are like queen or uh, well, if it's the female,
she's her feet are being worshiped as if she's the
goddess and yeah, and they stuck on her toes and
it's sort of like, well it's sort of like a
dominant submissive type of thing. Yes, I guess it could
be considered control and vice versa. UM. You know, the
(35:38):
female or the male that is um worshiping the feet
of the male or sucking his toes, is wanting to
show him he's the god, he's you know, his master, um,
you know, sucking on his toes to bring him pleasure.
And you know there's a lot of nerve endings in
the feet too that a lot of people find very rotic.
(36:00):
We actually just heard that what's more common for the
person who gets their toe sucked to get off or
the person that's doing the toe sucking. I think it
if you're looking for the perfect world, you need two
partners that are fully into it. Oh because a lot
of well we read it's very one sided. It can be.
(36:22):
But the problem because ideal that's my specializations is fetishes,
and so I deal with a lot of individuals who
have certain fetishes and I tell them straight out own
your fetish, be proud of that, because that's what makes
you unique, makes you unique and special. So therefore you
have to be upfront and honest when you're seeking a
partner so that you can get someone that's into that
(36:45):
as well. There's someone out there for everyone. I received
an email a couple of weeks ago from a guy,
and he was very upfront and he said, the reason
I'm contacting you is I would love to just massage
your feet. And he said for a half hour, an hour,
whatever you're comfortable with. I'll even pay you. This is
(37:08):
a stranger, a complete stranger. But he was very very
nice about it. But, like you said, very upfront and
said that I just I have a fetish and I
want to touch your feet. And I said, I didn't respond,
but I mean there's websites dedicated He was wanting to
worship your feet, you know, he wanted to worship you
(37:30):
as a goddess. But it was a sexual arousal for him.
So unless you're that was something you wanted to do,
it's wise if you not to do it. Do you
think it's possible that people could have a toe fetish
and not even know it just because they've never given
it a shot. Um, No, not a fetish. I'm not
(37:51):
sure I have any fetishes. Maybe orders often occur early
in childhood or ride around the time we start to
get sexual, like you adolescents, or you know, it depends
on if you're like Bloomer, early twenties. Uh, that's when
you know you got it. It's not usually something that
develops later in life. It makes you special, makes you unique. Great,
(38:16):
neither of us are special. Maybe maybe I'll develop mine
at forty. Okay, thank you so much, Dr Sefany. You
provided us with so much good information and I feel
like I'm leaving this well aware now to make some
some big decisions. And I want to keep my feet
(38:36):
clean at all times. You never know, you never now.
On that. On that note, you have to remember that
there are plenty of people out there that they're fetish
is smelly feet. No, you know what, Dr Safy, ma'am.
I'm sorry, Yes, ma'am. I'm I'm an expert on this.
(38:56):
I've heard it all, trust me. Wow, you know what,
I'd be happy? No, thank you, Well, I know what.
I'm definitely don't have a fetish for smelly feet. Thank you.
All right, thank you very much. Bye, And you can
find out more about Dr Stephanie at Stephanie Hunter Jones
(39:17):
dot com. Wells are you gonna come over? I feel
like we need some like testosterone over here to really
You've been making some comments over there, Yeah, like what
is it called from this side the Peanut Gallery. The
Peanut Gallery. I've been listening to this entire episode and
I love it. It's gotten super weird, which I'm excited about.
(39:42):
Um One, Danielle brought up the pineapple thing, which is
fantastic because I live in Nashville for like twelve years
and there is a community that lives outside of Nashville
that the pineapple thing is a real thing. So we
(40:02):
heard about this, and I know someone who like told
us that they lived there, and they're like, oh, dude,
did you hear about the pineapple? The pineapple means you're
a sweaer, but you have to live in a certain
part of town to qualify. Like I don't know, like
just in Nashville. This was just like right outside of Nashville,
um and like a lot of people live there. And
(40:25):
so I knew someone who lived there and we used
to just go put pineapples on his porn. Would people not?
I don't know. I was just excited about putting the
pineapple there. And I was like, he didn't follow, you
didn't even go down the rabbit hole. I was just
excited about that. I was just talking about like someone
(40:45):
who runs out of them because of the pineapple that
was where I left it. Well, I couldn't have left
it there. I'd have to follow up. You know, if
people came, people might have came, people might have I mean,
you know a lot of you know, not that kind
of show. Well as we keep it high high brow here,
I've listened to this entire show. This is exactly what
(41:06):
this show is. Sorry, I know, sorry, I'm also real quick.
Is the show called Down the rabbit Hole? Now it's
called Teddy te Pod. No change the name of the show.
It needs to be called Teddy Goes Down the rabbit
Hole because that's what you've talked about this entire time,
about going down the rabbit hole. I know, Well, because
there's but there's so many rabbit holes. I know, there's
(41:28):
so many. There's a toe sucking rabbit hole. Okay, so
are you into toe sucking? Yes or no? But I've
sucked on a toe just currently. No, not currently, but
I have sucked on a toe. I'm like, were you
into it you're excited to suck on the toe or
where you're not? I but it's different. It's different for
(41:51):
women that I think it is for men. I really do.
Someone said, yeah, they're because men's feet are disgusting. Absolutely, No,
there's just actually don't even have socks on. I can't
even imagine what's going on in No. No, I actually
do have socks on, but I have like these socks
on that are like even sex here, like ballet socks,
(42:13):
which I'm just not impressed with it at all. Um.
But it's different though, I think because for men, if
you're making sweet sweet love, women's feet are up in
the air no matter what you know. Yes, like I've
had hands touching and kissing of the legs, but there's
(42:35):
never been a necessity for the toes. There's a different
necessity for anything that happens in the bedroom. Actually there is.
I mean, I hate to break it to you, Well
there's some necess there's like three things that need but
sometimes you get weird with it, and for me it's
like one. Um, but yeah, I did it one time,
(42:58):
a couple of times. Okay, so one already went to
a couple of times. So it's a pretty common Jillian.
We are like not were like behind and when you
were sucking this toe, this one toe, were you enjoying it?
Because I feel like I don't know this the person
doing the sucking enjoy it as well as a person
who's getting sucked. I don't know. I just think I
(43:21):
was like involved in whatever weirdness that was happening, was
the toe being thrusted near your face, and like you
were like, oh, this is something that's That's what I'm saying. Like,
if the legs are up in the air, God, I
hope my mom doesn't want this shop. And that's why
I'm thinking this entire podcast, and like my poor family.
I've done so much damage to my family. That doesn't
(43:44):
matter at this point. But like if the legs are
up in the air and then there's just like that's
around you, does that make sense? I get the visual.
I still don't get the necessity. There's no necessity for
any of this stuff that we're doing. But it happens.
It happened, It happened, It had a couple of times,
happened a couple of times. It's not something that like
(44:06):
I I stick with, but it's it's not your go
to move, it's not my gut to my other thing
that I wanted to talk about by listening to this
whole thing, because it is very evident that it seems
like you guys are like against the guy on the
polyamorous um open relationship thing. But have you guys heard
(44:29):
of and I don't know if IMNA say this right? Cuckolding? No?
How did I miss this? So like cuckolding like a
like a cuckold, which I don't think. It's like a thing.
I need more information because I don't have my phone
easily accessible to do you want me to do this
on your show? Um? So like a cuckold, I think?
(44:51):
And I could be totally wrong about this. This is
different than the toe sucking thing. This is something I
do not know about. But it's when a woman sleeps
with another man in front of their boyfriend or husband
and like shames him about it. Well, that's because the
(45:11):
man wants it though he wants to be shamed. I
watched all about this on what is the show Billions?
I mean that's it's not that's not real life, I guess.
But either way, he enjoyed being shamed by his wife. Okay,
so like it's still a discussion that they've had, so
he will go and whether they're going to a sex
club or whatever it is. That's something that made him
(45:35):
get off. So the man's she's still doing it for
the man, I guess, but I don't know, Like the
just the envisioning what that looks like, that can't be
for the man. I think that like both parties are
enjoying that. I don't really know. I don't really know.
I haven't tried, but I think that, Okay, I'll agree
(45:55):
with you. Maybe I was a little one sided on
the situation. That being said, all of the experts we
had come on, we're also with me. Yeah, I agree
with you, But like there was just like I wish
we had a call that was the well, don't you
worry I have where's the Coco call? Yeah, you know,
(46:16):
you don't have to shame me because I'm going out
every rabbit hole. You know what. You only have so
many hours in a night. I think technically the cuckhold
is it's like holding CUCKOLDERI cuckold. There's all variations. It's
a man who is aware of his wife's infidelities. It
doesn't explicitly say he has to watch it, but that
(46:39):
might be added. That sounds so gorgeous. I wanted to
get let's just make up a new term and just start.
This is what people do now it's called what I
can't come up with the name. I'm not creative, so brilliant,
Oh you well about cuck holding is the closeness of
(47:02):
the cuck part to another word. Yeah, I didn't miss
that talk holding. But that's why I thought that maybe
Wells was right. But now you know, now we know
he's just made up a term himself. But either way,
So a man knows his wife's cheating on him and
(47:22):
he's like into it, he's into it, gets off on
the fact that other people are into his wife. Yeah.
And then I also think that there's another wrinkle in
it where please don't say wrinkle in this topic, like honestly,
yeah it god alright, that he likes being talked down
(47:49):
to in front of the other man. Yeah, that that's
like some FFT up staff. Wait I thought this is
what this podcast was. No, Jessica, No, this is good.
I'm just saying, like, who I can't imagine being like
talked down to me and have sex with somebody else
in front of me. These two things make me feel great.
(48:10):
So no matter what, the guy that's in the corner watching,
he's into it. It's not like he's being held there again,
that's the husband though, but he's into it, like he's
okay with I don't know, but I know it's a thing. Okay,
he has he this he hasn't experienced. I have not
experienced that, but I know it's a I've heard about it.
Like and like, I think that goes deep. I mean,
(48:33):
I don't know. I have no degrees in anything, but
like I feel like that has to go down just
like deep down childhood shame or something that's like past,
like somebody being a little bit narcissistic and wanting all
the checks. Yeah, you're right, you want to be shamed. Ever,
I'm messed up. Look at me. I spent hours on
(48:53):
the internet researching nonsense. You didn't look in the what
if dropped the ball? I was the thing. By the way,
the episode is not allowed to be called wellsing. You
know what, I'm trade market. You just can't. For those
(49:18):
of you who don't know Wells. Wells was on The Bachelorette,
he was on Bachelo in Paradise. He's the bartender in
this past episode, over this past season and earlier before
we started, I was sitting in this room and there
was just Bachelor Nation just sprawled out across the room,
and I was doing everything in my power to like
be normal watching you guys all interact in real life.
(49:39):
I'm such a fan of the franchise, and I was
just so excited to see everybody in this room. Is
it weird to see us interact with each other like
in a normal setting A little bit? Yeah, Like, you
guys are so normal totally, and we're all like very
friend I think that's the one thing that people don't
remember when they watched the show, is that everyone super
(50:01):
friendly because we all experience some weird thing that not
a lot of people can relate to, you know, um,
like being broken down and ripped apart and have like
nothing but therapy every single day about like weird relationships,
makes this weird bond that happens and national talent while
(50:23):
on national television and and well here's the thing that
I think that everyone forgets. It happens and that's like
really raw and really real, and then four months later
it airs and then you have to relive it. And
that's a tough thing for a lot of people to experience.
And so when all of us come together, even people
(50:45):
that like it's always funny to me, like when people
are not friends in the show or like enemies or
villains or whatever, and then you bring them together, they're
still cool with one another because like no one can
relate to what it was like living on that beach
or whatever it was, or live being in Prague, you know,
week seven of a show. Uh, it's just this, it's
(51:10):
a weird thing that it's just glue that brings everyone together.
So like for you to see us all together, Like,
first of all, I love everybody because I'm the bartender,
so like everyone has to like me. But yeah, life back.
But yeah, but for the most part, like we're all
super tight and the show can make us look like
(51:34):
we're against one another, but that's not really the case
for the most part. Yeah, I loved seeing that today
and the show is what essentially brought you to find love,
not necessarily on the show, but thanks to a tweet.
I haven't even gone down this rabbit hole yet. Oh yeah,
I need all the I need all the info. So um,
what happened was that I was on the Bachelorette like
(51:55):
years ago. Well that I know I'm on that that
part you're on that part of the rabbit hole. I
mean the other part of the you don't know is
that um my fiance is a huge fan of the
Bacherette and she like tweeted about me on the show
and what did she say? So it was like a
mental all and I made a couple of literary references,
(52:18):
and I think she tweeted out like, well's the best
he actually can read? You know, like who knew like
bench where people could read or something like that. Uh.
And then I think I responded to that publicly on Twitter. Yeah,
I think, like jokingly. And then we started d m
NG and then like things didn't pan out, and then
I became the bartender and then she was excited about
(52:42):
that and tweeted about that, and then I respond to that,
and then we started talking again. And then fast forward
to today we're engaged to be married and CONGRATU from
a modern family. Yes, I love this. This is so good.
I mean, I'm so old that back in my day,
if I wanted to like meet somebody, I had to
(53:02):
go to attempt to dance at a club and like
someone come chat with me. Like sliding into d m
S as a whole new well and Well has kind
of started this trend now of these people from Bachelor, Bachelorette,
dating celebrities. Yeah, Tyler c is Now I saw that.
I don't know if this is true, but I saw that,
(53:24):
like he couldn't be he chose Gi over the Bachelor
or something like that, and I was like, you know what,
I not a hard choice? Are you kidding me? Uh? Yeah?
He mean like the joke is that I walked so
Tyler and Mike could run, He says the joke. He's like,
(53:44):
grinning with pride, starting to get red. Understand how excited
I am about this because I did so much leg
work to make this a thing. Hold on, Tyler? Who
hold on? Not Mike, who was just here? Who's just here?
It's dating been supposedly DEMI and him are like a thing.
Did he say anything today? I mean, I'm not gonna
(54:05):
say this on this podcast, but I'm excited about it.
That's all that needs to be said. Your voice one up?
So he is he said something about it, and then um,
Nick Vile Yeah with the summer from the o C right,
But I don't know if that. I don't know if
that was true. And I'm friends with Nick, so he
(54:26):
hasn't hasn't told me that, But well most nothing in
the world would be for him to not tell me
this so that you could find out and then talk
about it on well, like who doesn't. Well you know
what you've really you let a movement here, I feel
I'm very proud of. I'm excited to see the couples
(54:48):
to come. Yeah, we'll see for sure. Called this well,
this is this is this is much better than you
can stand by this this one, I'm proud of the
other one not so much. Before you go, well, what
did you think of Luke p from Hannah season? That
(55:08):
guy scared me, Like I've never been legitimately scared from
watching a show, but he was like on a different
level and I could wish him the best of whatnot
we love it? I mean I wish blesses hard bless
(55:32):
that's the most southern thing in the world, but like
the most like like sociopath narcissist guy ever. And he
was so far on that show gas lighting you guys,
we next week should we go down? So what is
it is? So gas lighting would be like, Okay, let's
(55:57):
say you're in a relationship and you're talking about, Hey,
I would love if you could just you know, reciprocate
more okay, I will do that. And then three weeks
later they treat you like bleep and you're like, hey,
remember we sort of discussed, uh, you reciprocating more. We
never talked about that, or it would be I would
have reciprocated more, but you didn't do blah blah blah blah.
(56:19):
So it's actually your fault that I am the way
that I am. Wait, hold on, you just overtook that
whole thing. Are we doing narcissism or are we doing gaslightersky?
Gas Lighting is an action. Being a narcissist is a
state of gas Lighting is something narcissists do. Fair, fair, Okay,
(56:40):
So maybe we'll talk in the vein of narcissism, gaslight,
and sociopath what's sociopaths or killers? Narcissists are just boys.
Gaslighting guys are literally every when you're gonna meet the
(57:00):
bar tonight, that's where we are. The people that were
just in this room. Well, on that note, I guess, uh,
we gotta close up, We gotta we gotta close the
whole tonight. Thanks for listening. Subscribe to any teapot on
I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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