She's Having a Baby

Teddi conceived naturally after struggling with infertility with her first two children. She opens up and breaks down sharing her story and the heartwrenching details.

Teddi then learns from her guests their stories and their journey. Sadie, single and over 30 decided to freeze her eggs.   Michelle, 46 and a cancer survivor, used a sperm donor and is pregnant with her first. Julia, multiple miscarriages and now has triplets!

We have Dr. Green to answer all their questions and yours.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, welcome back. I um
did a little Instagram poll where I asked everybody what
they want to hear the most, okay from me, and

(00:23):
the number one topic was they wanted to hear about IBS, infertility, miscarriages,
all that kind of stuff. Because I have shared a
little bit about my story, you know, through Instagram and
through the show that I'm on, and so that's a
topic that everybody really wanted me to dig into. I
can't wait to hear your story. Well, I'm gonna try
not to get super emotional about it, but I figured

(00:46):
if we start with my story, then we can go
into all the different avenues and kind of dig into
the listeners questions. And then also we're gonna have some
specialists on and then some other women that have gone
through different things than I have and you know, really
learn about everything. UM. So, just backstory in regards to me,

(01:10):
I had been on the pill since I was about
a teenager, you know, like on the pill, and then
when my husband and I got engaged, I went off
the pill. Not because I was trying immediately to get pregnant,
but we were like all right by the time I
get married, Um, I'm gonna want to start trying, and
we had we had talked about that, so we but
we also weren't not trying, right. But I never even

(01:32):
was really taught that there was like a time that
you ovulated and that's when you got pregnant. Like I
was completely glueless. I was like, you know, because when
you're younger, you're just taught don't have sex because you
get pregnant, right, So I didn't realize there were certain days.
So I mean, we weren't following any kind of method.
We were just not not trying. And then after we
got married, we were trying and trying and trying, and

(01:53):
we learned when we when we needed to try three
day window, you know. We we tried to take all
the sex appeal out of it. You know, I'm like
checking my temperature, doing all the things, and I'm not
getting pregnant. And at first it's like it's fun and
we're laughing about it and blah blah blah. And then
after a while, I just started putting all this pressure
on myself. I'm like, I'm still not getting pregnant, and
the process started becoming like a job, like we're checking

(02:18):
the thing that I'm checking this, and I'm checking that.
I'm checking to make sure I'm ovulating. Now I'm saying
if I'm getting you know, I skipped a period, blah
blah blah, nothing's really happening. So I end up going
to the doctor and I'm like, listen, you know, here
we are. We're over six months into this, but really
it's been over a year and a half into this
because I haven't not been trying. And he's like, all right,

(02:38):
well we'll start you on something called clomad. And I
call this the crazy pills. Oh my god, Like I
can't even tell you how crazy clomad made me. Apparently
what it does is, and I'm not a doctor, but
it gives you more eggs or something like that helps
you release so it's all estrogen, as I think. So
I don't even really know. We're gonna have to task

(03:00):
a professional what exactly cloona it is. But I became
one of those people. Like I was driving home from work.
I passed Taco Bell, Okay, fine, I had to do
a U turn and I couldn't, and so I called
my husband hysterically crying, just so I passed it and

(03:25):
then I couldn't do the U turn and he's like, babe,
everything's good, like you're alive, Like I had no. I
was having these outbursts all of the time. And so
that was me on clomad for six months. Welcome to
new married life, and you know, I was a disaster. Um.

(03:46):
So that didn't work and um. Then I went back
to the doctor. I'm like, listen, like, you're gonna have
to put me in a straight jacket soon because I'm
not good on this medication. And he's like, I think
you need to go to our fertility specialists. He's like,
there's nothing showing up that is wrong with you, but
you're just not getting pregnant. So then I went to

(04:06):
the fertility doctor and with my daughter Slate. He was like,
all right, let's just try to We're gonna keep you
on the clod and then we're gonna do a round
of insimination. That works for most people. Um yeah, I
don't know if he said that works for most people,
but he said, let's try an insimination first, which they
don't really give you all the information. When you're in there,

(04:28):
you're like, okay, great, shouldn't be anything. So we schedule
our date and when he goes into you know, Edwin
has to like take care of his business. It takes forever.
And I'm like, listen, buddy, I know how long this
normally takes. Like let's get with the program. Here, like
waiting for him, I'm ready to get insiminated. And he
comes out and he's like his face is like white
and he's like that's brutal in there. I'm like, what's

(04:51):
the problem. And he's like, they have an updated the
Born since the eighties and I'm like what And he
is a half breaking mess like he is like I
don't know that I can do that again. And I'm like, well,
he's like, I mean that was brutal. He's like you're
on this like crazy. There's like a couch option. It's
not a good scene. But anyway, with Slate, I actually

(05:15):
got pregnant the first time being inseminated, which was amazing,
Like we were like, yeah, everything's great. Um. Then I
had a very difficult pregnancy, I think because so many
years of being like riding horses and doing all of that.
Then I had to stop riding and I kept spotting
throughout my pregnancy. So they repeatedly were putting me on

(05:37):
bed rest, so my entire pregnancy would be Okay, you
can go back to work. I couldn't ride, but I
could still teach, and then I would go back on
bed rest. So like I was already developing almost like
a level of depression because my life was changing in
a in a way that I didn't understand. Plus, for
your first child, you really don't have any idea what's

(05:57):
about to happen. Um. So I I had Slate. She
was a healthy, beautiful baby girl, you know, thank you God,
amazing um. And then after I had Slate, I got postpartum,
and I remember being so embarrassed and ashamed. And I
didn't know that that happened to people. And like there

(06:17):
were moments where like I would search on the internet
like postpartum depression, and I didn't have. I had heard
about people getting postpartum and it was like they wanted
to hurt their baby. I didn't have that. I just
felt so down Edwin would leave for work and I
would sob you know, but I didn't want to tell

(06:38):
him that because you don't want to tell your husband.
I don't know I'm gonna make it through this day,
you know, and luckily, like with time, it kind of
it lifted. And you know, I was so happy that
that happened. But then we started trying again to have
another baby, and I just it wasn't happening, went through

(07:03):
all the steps again and we ended up needing to
do IVF. And here's where, like, it just was unbelievably
hard for me, because I don't know if everybody's like this,
I mean most people, those people probably aren't, but like
I don't like to see. I don't like when people
can see me breaking down, right, So I hit it

(07:26):
from everybody how hard it was every single time. So
I would go in, I would have to harvest my eggs,
then they would mix it with Edwin's and then we
would do um pgs, which is the testing to make
sure that you have healthy babies. And then you know,
each time I would probably have one or two. Then

(07:46):
they would put, you know, implant. I don't know if
the words implant they would yeah, they would implant the baby.
And then multiple times, like it was just repeated, you know,
like this one didn't take it. All your numbers are, Oh,
we don't know what's going to happen here. Um you
now you have a killer cell, which I had never

(08:06):
heard of before. So then they started me on blood
thinners and steroids and it just was like just NonStop,
and you know, you just get really stuck inside of
yourself and and I know I'm gonna get heat for this,
but I all I could keep thinking was what is
wrong with me? Like what am I doing? Why is
my body killing these babies? Like what is happening? And

(08:29):
then like the final straw was the I was. I
went in. We did another round and at this point,
like everyone in my life was like this, this is
getting a little it's getting a little brutal here. And
I went in and I got pregnant, and it was like, yeah,
this is great. And they didn't say, like, your numbers

(08:52):
are still really low, You're still like in a danger zone.
We know, we knew it was a boy because of
the testing, and UM we named him UM like we
were ready. And then I had a miscarriage and I
remember being like what am I going to do and
almost wanting to hide it from everybody in my life
because I was like, they're not going to let me

(09:12):
do this again. And like I remember, I was like,
you know, I just really thought it was gonna work,
and I was so excited, and I just remember feeling
so broken, and I remember a call. I had a
conversation with my dad and Edwyn at the same time,
and they were like, you're not doing it again. You're

(09:33):
actually going to take a break, And I said, if
I can talk to the doctor and he will let
me do it one more time, you guys, please just
let me do it one more time, because I just
I'm not I just can't imagine not trying again. I
promise I can do it. I can do it. And
it became this like almost obsession that I don't know

(09:53):
why it like became this way. So then I became
a totally different person, Like I was like, I am
not sure one person that this is hard. I am
done being upset about it because I can't let them
know and pull it away. So I called my doctor
with my husband on, and he was like, you know,
Dr Mars. So for those of you asking who my

(10:14):
doctor was, it was Dr Mars. I said, will you
please let me do one more round? And he's like, Teddy,
I don't think you're emotionally in the place to do it.
And I said, please, I'm begging you one more round
and then I promise, I'll take a year off, just
let me do it, and he was like, I, okay,
you can do one more round. And we went in

(10:36):
and you know, everybody's mind frame was just different this time,
and we went in kind of sad, like we no
longer had that like life in us, like where you
know this is going to happen, and uh, I it
was before Christmas, so I would have found out on
Christmas Day. And I didn't even tell anybody those details.

(11:01):
I just went home for Christmas, I had the implantation.
I went home for Christmas. I lived Christmas like I
wasn't pregnant, like life was nothing. And I came back
and I was pregnant like I was pregnant, and everything
felt really, you know great, But then they're like, but

(11:22):
your numbers are still low. So for the first you know,
it was I think ten weeks, you're just kind of waiting,
and then it just was that waiting game. But luckily
Crews stuck and you know, he was my amazing baby boy.
But then what ended up happening next to us, which
I don't know that a lot of people talk about,
which is actually the hardest part that we went through

(11:45):
in regards to this whole process is when Cruz was born.
So you know, we already had all of like these
mixed feelings because we had to do IVF. We chose
a boy. We knew, you know, all of these things
that go through your mind that they shouldn't you. We
just wanted a healthy baby. But like you start blaming yourself. Um,

(12:05):
we when I was going into labor, was really long labor,
and when crews finally came out, the nurse put him
on my chest and I said, um, something something's wrong
with him. I'm sorry, something's wrong with him. So they
immediately because they saw on my record that I had
postpartum was slate, they saw something was wrong with me,

(12:28):
and they weren't really believing that something was wrong with him.
And finally a nurse like, they're like, he's fine, teddy.
Some kids just take a little bit longer to cry.
You shouldn't have to worry about it, and it's gonna
be okay. And I started screaming like it's not okay.
He's not okay. And finally the nurse was like, you

(12:49):
know what, he's not okay, like, and they called the
code and the hunter. You know, Cedars is a learning hospital,
so it's hundreds of doctors coming in and you know,
like learning, you know whatever, they take him away from
from us. He's on life support. We don't know anything.
They medicate me, so I like knock out. I wake

(13:09):
up and my husband is just sitting in the corner
and like a pile of mush, like just like crying.
He's like, I don't know if Cruises alive. I haven't
heard from anyone. No one's told me anything. I'm just
sitting here. And he's like, now I'm blaming myself because
we did this and we created this bit. You know,
like all of these things that are going through your mind,

(13:31):
they are completely out of your control. And I called
up to the to the nick you and I said, Hi,
I'm Cruises Mom, and it's so great. You guys want
to come up. Oh my god, you guys want to
come up. He's still on. He's still on, you know,
the breathing machine and everything like that, but you guys
can't hold him, but you can see him. And um,

(13:52):
you know, once we saw him, all of those those
feelings went away. But that time where you're just really
trying to figure out if your baby's okay, you go
to every negative place in the world. And you know,
we ended up finding out that they don't exactly know
why he wasn't breathing when he was born, but he
does have a heart condition, but something that can be managed,

(14:14):
so in the end, it's all very positive. But it
became a reason why, I mean, why we never thought
we'd have another baby again. And that's why I mean,
for those of you who do or don't know, I
am nineteen weeks pregnant right now and it happened naturally,
and I had no idea, and I didn't even know

(14:37):
I was pregnant till I was nine weeks pregnant. Um,
we weren't trying, you know, It's just how life works.
So I know all of the ups and downs. I
know so many of you guys that have struggled with
the same things I have. Once I started opening up
and telling people I had a miscarriage, or this happened,
or this happened, or I had the killer cell or
the me too, me too, me too, you know, and

(14:59):
we don't talk about things until somebody else is going
through them. And I think it's so important to know
you're not alone. But um, I don't even know how
to transition from. And I hope it's okay that I'm
asking emotionally, how do you feel being pregnant? Are you nervous? Well,

(15:22):
that's what everybody has been asking me, because I was
so nervous the last couple of times. Also, I was
in a completely different stage in my life because even
with CRUs I was on bed rest multiple times as well.
And going into this pregnancy, I'm able to be active because,
like one, I didn't know for eight weeks, so I
was active all before. You know, they say what the

(15:43):
doctor says, as long as you start your pregnancy active,
you can continue whatever you were doing prior. So I
am able to eat properly, like to nourish the baby.
I'm in a place where I'm taking care of myself.
I'm able to move every day. I'm still able to
work my jobs, change, you know, all of those things.
And to be honest, I'm the least stressed about this

(16:06):
baby than I have I was with the others. And
I think it's solely because I'm like, I've done the
I've done it the other way right, and I just
can't do it that way again. And you don't have
all of those prescriptions in your body, which so this
probably feels really different. Yeah, Everyone's like, how do you
not know you were pregnant? I'm like, well, when I

(16:28):
was pregnant on the others, I was either on the
clomad or the steroids or the blood thunders are, Like,
I was on so much medication that I wasn't feeling
the regular pregnancy symptoms. So even in those first you know,
eight or nine weeks when I didn't know it was pregnant,
I was like, I'm tired. But who isn't tired When
you have kids and you work and you're filming a
TV you know, whatever it is, you're tired. Yeah. So

(16:51):
I mean I really feel like, I'm like, we're gonna
be okay. Um, But it's definitely a different feeling that
I've ever had being pregnant. So yeah, I'm just like,
you know, but we were. I mean, I took nine
home pregnancy tests before I went to the doctor with
the phone. Wait, I just want did you postmate the

(17:14):
practice pregnancy test to the house. Where did you go
to go? To know? Like I like walk of ship,
like what I went twice to go and then the
third time, I asked my sistem like, can you figure
me up from pregnancy tests? I just don't know that
I can handle the CBS lady again my ship is
I'm really judging, but I still have them all just

(17:36):
in case I love it. Oh my gosh. So yeah,
that's kind of my my story, and I I feel
like when I whenever I talk about it, yes, there's
people that are gonna I'm not going to say everything right,
I'm going to say something that may end up offending
somebody or that. But I have to be able to
share my story and how I felt because there are
people that are going through the same exact thing that

(17:59):
feel really alone that I don't feel like they can
open up because for whatever reason, we put this pressure
on ourselves. Forever reason we don't. It's weird. You feel
like if you are weak or you break down, and
it's not even weak, it's just having emotions that they're
going to tell you have to stop right, and it's
I mean, that's brutal. When someone says, you know you're

(18:20):
done just enough, you need time, your time to heal,
and can you still It's like you took us right
back there. And I think you went back there. I
could feel the panic when you were like, please, Dad, please, Edwin,
let me do it one more time. Yeah, like and
that all these other people had sort of they want

(18:42):
to have your best interest, but it's almost like a
power over you. And that would be so because they're like,
we want you to we want you to feel better,
we want you to not have this hanging over you.
But like in my mind I know best, like I
know that like this is going to happen this time.
I don't even know why I thought that. I think

(19:02):
I was just so desperate that I was like, if
I say it, and then I'm just because I promise myself.
I'm like, I'm gonna be chill, I'm gonna go home,
I'm gonna be fine at Christmas. I'm not gonna be
bugging out. I'm not gonna be testing. I'm not gonna
have a mental break at Christmas Eve, like I'm gonna
And I just kind of told myself that. And then
when I came back and they were like, you're you're pregnant,

(19:24):
I was like, but then you know they still then
every every day you go in to test your levels
when you had repeated issues, So then it's like that
mind game every single day. It only and you're like,
but I was like, it's okay, that's the terrible number.
You know, you just need to start like tricking yourself

(19:46):
to try, you know, to do that. But it's I know,
there are just so many people out there, and there's
so many husbands also that have no idea what to
do when their wife is in the state. So, um,
I know we're having some different guests in and I
also know that we have a ton of questions to

(20:07):
get through, and we're kind of writing down questions as
they come for the doctor because I still don't know
what a killer cell is. I don't really either, because
I the one thing my doctor did say is like,
don't go on web md. Do you do? You're not
a doctor, So quit trying to diagnose yourself over my diagnosis,

(20:27):
because then you know, you become really crazy. Well, I
wonder our killer cells common and I don't know. My
guess is what happens. What I was told, but also
remember I was told not in the best state, was
that your body thinks that your baby is like a

(20:48):
foreign object and it goes to like get rid of it.
So that's why you need the blood thinners and the steroids.
So but I mean there's been so many questions. We
also need to find out about pcos A lot of
people ask me about that. And then there's also just
people that have a lot of questions about freezing their eggs,
um when they're even when they're not ready to have

(21:10):
a baby. So what do you do after when you
don't want to use the rest of them? You have
to that you have to save them like in the
or you have to donate or I mean some people
I think even sell. There's so many different things that
like we don't even know. Yeah, I have all kinds
of questions, I know, so do I. So with that,

(21:31):
should we take a little break and then um, when
we come back, I think Sadie Murray is going to
come in and talk to us about her journey. Hey,
so we're back with Teddy, t Pod and Jen and
I are going to ask Sadie some questions because she

(21:54):
just recently froze her eggs. So give us the deeds.
What lad you to want to start freezing your eggs?
Your age, give us, give us everything. So I had
just um ended a relationship, you know, when I was
I was I dated this guy who I thought I
was going to marry, and I was thirty four when

(22:15):
we broke up and he told me, actually, I don't
think I ever want to have a family, and I
felt like, are you kidding me? Like I just wasted
this time with you, and it blew my mind. But
it was also kind of like the fire that I
needed under my ass to take control of the situation.
And so I met with a doctor um in Newport
Beach and I got all the info. Then I chickened out,

(22:40):
like I made my appointment. Then I was like, no,
I've got time, only thirty four. And then I went
back in and he was like no, literally, like time
is not on your side, like it's not like like yeah,
and he was like, whether you do it with me
or someone else, like you just need to know the facts,
because I kind of felt like, and this is you
at thirty four, Yeah, so this is I'm thirty six now, Okay.

(23:03):
So I meet with him and he's he kind of
I mean, I got over the emotional aspect of it,
like this isn't the way I planned it, this isn't
what I wanted necessarily, but I wanted to empower myself. Right.
So then finally I turned thirty five and I'm like,
all right, it's a d day. Here we go, get
this over with. And I thought, you know what, and

(23:23):
if I can do this, if I'm gonna be a mom,
you have to be able to handle anything, so why
not show it off now kind of a thing? Right? So, yeah,
I did it. I So some of the listeners questions are,
if you're going in solely to freeze your eggs, how
much does it cost? Mine was about twelve thousand dollars
twelve thousand, and like for your did you do it
one time or multiple? I've only done it once because

(23:45):
I got a nice amount of eggs the first, you
know when I did it, But I have I have
a couple of girlfriends that you know have done it
twice three times. I mean, you do it as many
times as you need to. And then what is the like,
for lack of a better word, the storage, Like, what
is the right monthly for that? I think mine is
it's maybe five hundred a year, So it's not horrible.

(24:08):
I mean, isn't that where the storage like a storage?
I was thinking about this seriously. I was thinking about
this the other day I was like, how are my
eggs doing? I'm to st visit them. I would like
to someday. Yeah, I have photos of them on my phone.
It was so funny, you guys, I'm in a group
text with my girlfriends from college. We're all in the

(24:29):
same sorority and all of them are married and have
you know, at least one kid. My best friend just
had her third and we're all the same age. And
my friends like, show me pictures if your new babies.
And I'm on this group text and I'm like, are
you serious? Like that's so annoying. So they're all like
cute photos of like you know them, like riding bikes
and stuff like that. And so I sent the actual
pictures of the eggs that I got from my doctor

(24:52):
and I was like, here are my little popsicles. So
when now the you've done that, what are kind of
your next thoughts? Like? Where where's your headspace? Now? I
feel like, you know, big dick energy. Yeah, I feel

(25:12):
like I have that now like when I'm now when
I'm dating, like, I don't feel like I have to
settle because you know, I want to get married and
have a family. Now I'm walking into this chapter of
my life with a sense of confidence that whether or
not I use them or not, the fact that I

(25:33):
know that I did this for myself and for my
future family or for my future husband. It's making me,
you know, feel like I have more options. And there's
nothing better than feeling like you're more free, I think, right,
because I have so many people I know that are
now divorced. I mean, I'm thirty six, I was engaged

(25:55):
at one point, broke it off, and I feel like
now like statistically, I've like skipped my divorce if I
was never going to have one, you know what I mean.
Like I'm like, Okay, well I don't save some money,
I spend it on the eggs. Um. Yeah, So I
think now the next step is I mean, I'm single,
I'm dating, and I'm It's funny though, I almost sometimes

(26:16):
I have to stop myself from like telling the guy,
oh hey, I throze my eggs because like, like too much,
I don't want. I Also, I know that that's like
a concern to like, if I'm a guy and I'm
dating around, it's like, of course you're gonna want to
pick the fresher eggs. Of course you're gonna go if
you're younger. Yeah, sure, guys are really think I don't

(26:37):
know date one, Like, don't bring it up on date one.
I have you guys, I have brought it up on it. No.
I have been like yeah, and they're like, so do mind?
Like how old are you? Come back on the How
to Date episode? Oh my god, Lord help us all
with that. I've got so many stories. And how did
you feel during the process of when you were giving

(26:58):
yourself the shots and all of that. I was a
different thing because when I was going through it, I
was trying to get pregnant apparently, versus you were doing
it just to make sure that I had you had
the security. Yeah. Well I was a little diva about it,
like I was like really afraid to I've never given

(27:19):
myself an injection before, Like I'm not a drug addict,
you know what, even like I'm just like I'm not
used to it, Like I'm just I don't know, like
I do get you know, injections in my face. But
like that's someone else is doing it, right. This is different.
This is like, oh my god, if I miss and
I hit a nerve or something, what's going to happen?
So I decided to make it a thing for my
first shot, and I like went to Malibu and stayed

(27:41):
the night in like at the at the Malibu beach
in and I like woke up and I like prayed,
and I like was like, Okay, here we go. We're
doing this journey because it's like, you know, eighteen days
of shots. And I grabbed my my stomach and I
was like, thank god, I've gained a little weight. There's
some fat there. And I just pretended like I was
injecting a piece of chicken or something, and I was like, Okay,

(28:02):
let's do this. This isn't my body. Here we go.
And it was fine to YouTube video totally so many times,
and then I like would I found myself like talking
to the lady and I was like, is this right,
And she's like it's like she's not really there. But
I was like, really, it was scary. But now that
you're saying that, I had totally just blocked out the
memory of giving myself shots. That's the crazy thing about

(28:25):
doing this process. Like I had given myself so many
different rounds of shots that I remember I would go
in and it would be crunchy in the spot because
I had injected the same area, so because you know
you have your comforted Yeah, okay, this spot right, jam.
But then yeah, she's right, Daddy's so good about giving

(28:45):
it in this spot, right. But after so many rounds,
that spot is like you know what, f you go
find a new spot? Yeah did the other side. Yeah,
but I totally blacked that out until you were just
saying that now. Like it was weird too, because then
you get a little bit like after you've done it,
maybe you're in for like a week, you're like, I'm

(29:06):
a pro, you know, you get like a little cocky.
Like I was like, I can go to this party
now and then I'll just do it in the bathroom.
And I did. I was like, this hasn't been to
ruin my life. I mean I didn't like drink while
I was doing it or anything like that, but like
I it was because I did it um like around Halloween,
like into November, and it was like, you know you
just start like going to different people's holiday holiday stuff. Yeah,

(29:29):
it was just more of that time, and I was
like I had birthday parties and things. I was like,
I'm bringing my kit, I'm bringing my needles. I talk
about my purse and I did it. Would you would
you consider doing another round if more time went by,
or do you think if you were to meet somebody,
Let's say I just had somebody in calling it calling
in your now in eight weeks, so you meet somebody

(29:49):
in eight weeks from now, you fall in love. Would
you try to get pregnant naturally or would you use
your younger, fresher eggs. I would try and get pregnant
naturally first. I think that's ideal, and obviously I want
to save those eggs, so if I because that's what
my doctor said. Um, he was like, you know, you
may not even use these. I have people come in
and then they meet the love of their life a

(30:09):
year later because they're just so like, there's something about
being free of this, you know. Do you think you
would keep them stored anyway forever? So okay. I was
actually just talking about this with my one of my
best guy friends. Him and his partner are talking about
having kids, and he was like, we were hanging out
one night. We've known each other since kindergarten, so he
has the he can ask me this stuff. So we've

(30:32):
had a little wine and he's like, I've got the
energy and the courage to ask you this, Can I
have one of your eggs? It's like no, I'm like,
are you kidding me? That's no. No, I'm like really protective.
He's like, okay, but what if you sorry, Sadie, what
if you die? And I was like, You're so lucky.

(30:54):
I'm on my second glass of wine right now, Like
what in the actual okay? And I was like, actually,
I was like I don't when I signed the form,
you know where you say, what do you want to
do with them? Like if you do pass away? Like
I don't know what's going to happen in life. There
were only two options, and it was either you donate
them to science, to people who need them or science

(31:16):
or what have you, and or you destroy them. I
chose the latter because I just felt like that's their
mind and I don't want anyone else to have them now.
But I think I was hopped up on hormones when
I signed it, and so now yeah, like I'm like
I definitely shot, you know, but like now I totally

(31:36):
have a different perspective, Like now I may give them
to a family that like can't or my sisters, you know,
that's what I'm gonna do. So that's what I'm gonna
I need to, you know, obviously work it up, but
I don't. Also, they shouldn't make you sign things when
you're not. I was such a psychopath at the end.

(31:56):
At the end, I was like I was. I was
literally like I was great up until two days before
and I called my mom and I was like, I
don't know if I want to yell at people, cry
or just like fall asleep. I don't know what's happening
in my life right now, but like I shouldn't be driving.
I told him about how I broke down going because
I missed the entrance for taco, about I mean things.

(32:18):
I swear to god, this is real. This is real.
You turn the smallest thing is that for real? A
full breakout my husband, and it's a talk about I
couldn't find the place to you, like full break and

(32:39):
you have to imagine he's at work. He's like, hey, babe,
you good, You're not enough? Actually okay, like did you
get arrested? Like what's happening up? I just wanted to
be in cheese. Oh my, that is epic right there.

(33:00):
And then you're and then I get off the phone,
like it could have been nicer. Yeah, how did he
offer to get me? One? Didn't he offer to leave
his job and get me? And You're like, I'm not
even pregnant yet, Oh my god. No. I know I
had to like not go on dates during that time too,
because I was good because you're already bringing up date one.

(33:20):
I know, well you know when you do bring it
up date one, and the guy's like good to know
that he's probably know I And honestly, I don't care
at this point, like I'm at a I'm at a
place in my life where like this is me take
it or leave it. Like obviously I'm not going to
like roll up and like show them the photos of
my eggs, but like you know, if it comes up,

(33:42):
like I feel like I'm proud of it, Like I'm
like I did this, This is so cool. And I
think like you're saying, like the guy that is my
guy will be like thank you for doing that, because
I don't want your old eggs. But also, I mean,
it's crazy even getting pregnant this time. I mean, when
I went in and everything was good, he's like, well,
because you are advanced maternal age. I'm thirty eight, he goes,

(34:05):
you go and do another round of testing the insurance
covers this time, and I'm like, advanced maternal you know,
I didn't even like hearing those words. And like thirty
eight is considered advanced geriatric. Yeah, Like, which is gotta
I mean, it just puts so much pressure on people
that you know, everybody's getting married later. Now. It's not
like when you know, we were kids and our parents

(34:27):
all met in high school and they all got My
parents met when they were nine and eleven, they went
to prom together. Like this is the stuff that we
have to see. What's happening now? People are getting married
in their thirties, forties, whatever. And so when you're going
into the doctor advanced maternal age at thirty eight, you're like, wow,
imagine going in there. And I mean when so many

(34:48):
of my followers are like, I'm thirty seven years old
and I'm trying to decide if I should freeze my age.
But there's also the pressure of you know, I do
freeze megs and then I don't eat somebody, and then
now it's five years later and I definitely want to
have a child. Yeah, do you do it on your own?
Do you do it on your own. I wouldn't, but

(35:10):
I don't think that it's I think you can't. I mean,
obviously it's a six year old Sadie wouldn't write. Who
knows where I'll be. I'll be like the Octo Mom.
I thought about the honestly single Octo Mom Sadie. Everyone
will be like, wow, that's a reality show. Then I
can pay for it. Oh my god, it'll be so exciting,

(35:30):
you know what. I'll pitch it, I'll produce. Thank you.
Oh my god, I really appreciate it. Yeah, you know
right now, I would be like, no, I'm I'm going
I want my person. I want my person and I
want to have a family with that guy. But at
the same time, you know, I'm also I'm not opposed
to adopting, like because I don't even know if. I mean,
the eggs are viable and they're great, but like, who
knows if I can carry it? Who knows? If you know,

(35:52):
would you be open to adopting now or would you
want to wait as well for that? I mean I
want to wait. Yeah, and you you told me that
you're I haven't adopted brother from Guatemala. I was twenty
seven when my mom adopted him when he was five.
Can you walk us through that process a little bit,

(36:13):
because a lot of people were asking about adoption also
in regards to from foster to adoption as well. Fostering
is so important, especially you know, I'm from Detroit and
I worked in the foster care, like in foster care,
working with those kids as a therapist, and there are
great foster pearance. Of course we always hear about the

(36:33):
horrible stories in the news, but the majority of them
do it because they love children and they want to
take care of them and they want to give them stipila.
How do you even get started doing something like that.
It's a it's a pretty long process of background checks, interviews,

(36:54):
um you know, uh, letters from people in your life
so that you know that bouge for you as a parent,
as a human, why you're doing this. They come in
and check the home, They come in and observe. It's
a it's a really long process because they're placing kids

(37:14):
in these homes until they're either adopted a lot of them.
You know, there's a huge percentage of kids in the
foster in foster care that never get adopted, right, But
these families are angels. So when my mom went to Guatemala,
she had gone to Mexico and then she went to

(37:35):
Guatemala and she was visiting to go with like a
group where she was just going on. She was just
going on vacation, and she visited uh An orphanage and
she met Diego and he was four, he had just
turned four, and it took her a year to adopt him.
Very Angelina Jolia of her very I mean, you just

(37:59):
go on vacation and pick up a kid, okay, kid,
I always look for a sun hat or but sure
that works too. That was sorry. I had to light
in the mood of touch, just a touch. We needed
you in here fifteen minutes ago. That was my reaction.
She called me and she said, I fell in love
with Diego in Guatemala and I'm going to bring him home.

(38:23):
And I said, are you crazy, I'm twenty seven years
old to be your kid? Yes, And she said no, no, no, no,
just go to the house and go look at the
photo on the counter. And so I was like, I
was just why. I just felt that I was like,

(38:44):
you already raised me? Are you? Were? You an only
child of two older half sisters. But so we have
different moms, so I'm her only biological child. So I
was like, why don't you just go travel? Like, go travel?
Don't you want to be free? And look what happened? Diego?

(39:06):
Now I'm so close. I finally went over to the
house and looked on the counter at that picture and
I was like, oh, it's so cute, such a sad
ending if you're like and I never spoke to I
love that so much. We have so many more things
we need to get into, but unfortunately have to take
a little break. So I'm excited. We have a guest

(39:32):
coming on in a second. Her name's Michelle, and she
also froze her eggs, but she got pregnant with a
sperm donor, which reminds me of a story from when
I was seventeen, eighteen years old and I came to
Los Angeles, which is so crazy considering all the things
that you know, ended up happening with me trying to
get pregnant and whatnot. But I was like super broke.

(39:53):
I worked in the marrim at Cia and with a roommate,
we lived in a studio apartment. You know, I was
also a hostess. And I was like, really, just like,
we barely have enough money to get the pink dout
we're ordering, so we were like a desperation central. And
I pulled open like I can't remember, like I was
looking at my boss is like Hollywood reporter or whatever
it was, and I saw that somebody was wanting to

(40:15):
harvest somebody's eggs and they were going to pay ten
thousand dollars for it. And I was like, I didn't
talk to anybody about because I knew I was gonna
get judge. But I'm like, that could be a good thing.
Ten thousand dollars to me. Ten thousand dollars. People assume
when they think about me that like I had a
trust fund, I had all this money. I didn't. I
was freaking broke. As a joke, like I didn't even
have a credit card, Like it was a situation. Um.

(40:37):
So I was like, you know what, I think I
could do this. So I called the number on the
thing and I'm like, hi, um, I was just curious
that I saw something. I didn't say my name, thank god,
but I was like, I saw that you're wanting to
pay somebody for their eggs. You know, I wasn't thinking
of the repercussion anything. You know, you're just a dumb kid.
And the person's like, great, I just have a couple

(40:59):
of questions for you. Do you have blue you know
we pay extra for certain things. Do you have blue eyes?
And like I have blue eyes? And he's like great,
And then they asked a couple of other questions, you know,
like a bah blah blah blah blah blah. And then
everything's going well and he's like, I think we should
set a meeting. Oh one last question, where'd you go
to college? And I go I didn't And he goes, oh, well,
actually you're no longer in contention? What what I was like?

(41:25):
I remember I looked at my roommate and I'm like,
they don't even want me, and they're not gonna want
you either because you didn't go to college either. So
then I actually talked to my mom and dad about
it and they were like, day, what are you thinking
like that? What have you lost your mind? I was like,

(41:45):
maybe a good thing. I brought it up to you
guys before I found the next at I was like, no,
they would have been like laughing at me. If I
was like, but can I have some money? They'd be
like go kick rocks, get a third job. Um, but yeah,
that was my story. But anyways, Michelle, I'm excited to

(42:05):
hear about yours. And you are glowing, beautiful, pregnant twenty
eight weeks. It's the first week of my um of
my third try mystery. Wow, it's a trip, like it
just popped out. It's a little boy, a little boy.
Do you have a name? Pecked? You don't have to
tell yet. I mean, like my friend's son wants me
to name him Thelonias. I like that. So tell us

(42:30):
a little bit about your story, like and also we
have to ask all those annoying questions like how old
you are and all those types of things. Okay, okay,
so give it to us. Okay. Um, we'll maybe tell
us how old you are and then what led you
to this? Okay, I'm forty six, no way, And it's
it's so weird because I don't think about age. But

(42:51):
I froze my eggs in eleven and so how were
you in I'm very bad and go to college. Um,
that would be thirties seven. And I did it because
I had a little store up in San Francisco and
it was the recession it was really intense period in time,
and I ended up getting diagnosed with cancer and it

(43:14):
was the first thing I thought of was to freeze
my eggs and UM, but it wasn't something that they suggested.
It is like immediately I was like, Okay, this is
going to be intense this year, and on top of it,
I don't want to potentially be um sterile from this.
And so I ended up freezing my eggs and and

(43:34):
then I went through like cancer treatment up in San
Francisco at ECSF and UM. And then it circled around
where last year was forty five and I was like
dating a guy that was a total mess, and I
was like I don't have time for this, Like what
am I doing here? Like I just I can't be
with like a forty five year old baby, you know,
Like I don't want a forty five yeld baby. And

(43:57):
I got out of that night, but this stress, like
I didn't realize I wanted a kid so badly, Like
I did it. Obviously I did it froze my eggs,
so it's important to me. But I kept thinking I'd
meet the right person and then I UM. Last year,
I was talking to a friend who's adopted a girl,
a little baby girl, and she has three boys. And

(44:18):
she's like, Hommy, that's my last name, and she's like,
just have a baby and then you can meet the guy.
And then just through a series of of things. That
month when she said that came up, I had to
pay my storage for you for my eggs. So I
went to go see my doctor in San Francisco, who
froze them, and he like when I walked in, he
started crying and he's like, Michelle, I love seeing patients

(44:41):
like you. It's amazing you're here. Um. I love him.
His name's Mitchell Rosen in San Francisco. He's incredible. The
next thing I knew, I was just on the journey
of doing IVF and like it's so cool because like
everything kind of panned out like where I had like
cash flow come last year, like things have just been
like magically like unfolding to get to this place. And

(45:04):
it worked. So in April seventeenth this year, I had
I did three transfers. I found sperm last year. Okay,
I have to stop you. Yes, that was a whole
other thing where I was like, I mean, did he
go to college? He did? That was a PSI student,
which is kind of funny. So I feel like he's

(45:24):
in l a somewhere, but he's UM and he The
funny thing is like did you see it? So you
know what he looks like. I know what he looks
like as a child. Oh, most of them, it's literally
like Tinder. It's like it's like but you never have
to go in it, like the dream come true. There's
like it's a website. Well, like there's a few. So

(45:44):
there's one UM smaller sperm bank in the East Bay
that's like it was started by lesbian couples, like I
don't know, fifteen years ago and right now I can't
remember the name of it. So I looked at that
one because I know that they really go into like
looking for good character of sperm donors. And then I
ended up finding my sperm at California Cryobank, which they

(46:05):
have a huge um how much does it cost to
get a sperm? So a vial of sperm is a
thousand dollars? That is not that now and it's and
how much how much does a vial? That I know,
how much does a vial? How far does the vial go?

(46:26):
Did a vile last you all through transfers. Yeah, so
my doctor worked with me because usually they asked you
to um to like get to sper sperm vials, and
I just bought one and I sent it up there
to him, like they have to. You have to pay
extra to pay to have it frozen sent up like
through FedEx or whatever. How long did it take you
to pick X? Wait? Wait? How long did it take
you to pick him? It took me a few weeks

(46:47):
because it's overwhelming. So I sat down and looked. I
was like whoa, Like this is a lot. And then
I had to go back and regroup and look at
it like a month later, and I ended up buying
his sperm in September. But I went through a process
of like looking there were some donors that had their
adult photos, and there's like this one really cute guy
that like had a master's and like production and like

(47:09):
what seemed like very like creative, like served hiked and
I was like, oh, I could date this guy. And
then I heard his interview with like the like someone
at the sperm bank and he had a chip on
his shoulder, and I was like, if I'm going to
be a single mom, like I really want like someone
that's like happy joy, you know, doesn't stay on there,
like if you could ever reach out to the sperm donor.

(47:32):
So that's the other thing that helps. So like there's
like literally like a thousand donors. So I like I
picked filters that like narrowed down my start. So one
of them was I decided to do an open downer
so that if my baby wants to reach out to
the dad, he could do. Now, I love your your
sperm donor, he said, yeah, yeah, and almost so I won't.
I don't know who he is, and we won't now

(47:53):
until my baby is eighteen if my baby wants to
reach out to him. But at least it's like another
family mamber, your soul mate. Who knows, I could wait
eighteen years. I've been sing all this long. Wow, I
think that's so amazing that you can pick that, because
that's what I was thinking, Like, when you are telling
your son, it's so nice to be able to give

(48:16):
them that option. Right when do you think you'll tell
your son? I feel like right away, it's like why,
I mean, I'm sure it's going to come up. I'm
just kind of trusting the journey on that. I mean,
this is so incredible. And then so you send it,
you send it, you fed exit, you pay baxtra f

(48:36):
and then so this is the doctor, so I he
worked with me on my one sperm vile because I'm
doing this sellout. So it's like it's still a lot
of money. You know, how much did you spend? I
think I did a spreadsheet almost like fell over. It
was mind's less probably than a lot of people. But
I spent about grand Yeah. Do you think you would

(48:57):
ever do it again? I don't know. It depends because
now I still have half of the sperm up north,
and I have eleven eggs left because I had a
huge fertility. Like when when they harvested my eggs, they
took out twenty three And did you do PGF before?
You didn't? And then for your you said you did
three transfers. So for your first two, did you get
pregnant or um? I think I had like a chemical

(49:18):
predicate and then the second one didn't work. How what
was your emotional state during that time? Now that I'm
out of it and I'm pregnant, like I feel so
much more. It took a few weeks into pregnancy, like
maybe two months, but like I'm so much more stable,
Like I don't. I don't think I realized like how
emotional I was during the IVF process, because as hormones
are intense, the hormones are intense. I almost felt like

(49:40):
I shut down the world around me because I didn't
want anybody to know the level of how control I
was totally that. I feel like it's the pill, like
during the process. You have to take the pill when
you start a new cycle, and you're on it for
like a month or so, and then you start doing
injections or whatever. At least for me, because I wasn't
taking out eggs each round already at them, the pill

(50:03):
was crazy, Like I just feel like I got for me,
it was like my thing was like depression. That's how
I was as well. That turned really manifested into anxiety.
I mean, it's just it's so crazy the things that
we do to ourselves over things that we cannot control.
On that note, we have Julia Sadler on the line,

(50:24):
and she wrote a book called Pray Big Things, and
she is a mom to triplets who struggled with infertility,
and so I think it would be really interesting to
get her perspective on all of this all right. Here

(50:47):
we are back, and I think Julia Sadler is on
the line. Hello, Julia, Hi, how are you going. I'm great,
Thanks for coming on with us. We really appreciate for
having me so nice. I thank you for having me.
I was wondering if you could share a little bit
about your story with us. So many people that listen

(51:09):
to the podcast, you know, one of their main questions
was like, how you know, how do you stay strong
throughout having multiple miscarriages and things like that. So, I mean,
I think your story will truly resonate and um, so
I would. I would love to hear from you. Okay, awesome, Yeah,
I mean, I think it was so interesting to experience

(51:31):
miscarriages after becoming a professional counselor because I knew, like
I knew it was important to stay close to your spouse,
and I knew it was important the process of feelings.
But it's just totally different knowing what you're supposed to
do and then actually experiencing it. And I know that
you're familiar with that pain and that struggle. But my

(51:54):
husband and I we were we were junior high sweethearts
and we've been together for a long time. And we
just never had any reason to think there was any
problem getting pregnant. It was just something we weren't ready
to do. And so at seven, when we've been married
about seven years, we decided it was time, and I
got pregnant super easily, and I remember just thinking, wow,

(52:18):
like that wasn't too hard. And just a few weeks
later and up losing that first child, and we were
very sad, we're very heartbroken about it. That it was
so interesting how many people reached out to us since
that they had had the same experience. And so while
we were we were sad, but we weren't just completely

(52:40):
in despair, and since it seemed like it was something
a lot of people had gone through. But then we
got pregnant again unless that child, and then a months
later get pregnant again, and so three most carriages in
less than six months. Did seem like something was wrong. Um,
And but that was a very difficult time hellow marriage,

(53:03):
And so we decided we weren't gonna pray super specifically.
And I'd always people think it's crazy. I had always
wanted multiples, That's something I'd always desired, And so we
just decided we weren't going to be embarrassed God for
anything that we prayed for multiples, three children, and then
we went and saw our fertility doctor who and did

(53:25):
put me on certain medication and said, yeah, yeah, make
you crazy. Um it any super emotional. And we were
at this retreat that week and I was like, I
just need to not talk to because I was like
prying during Like I mean, it wasn't even that of

(53:45):
a story, and I was just like, oh my gosh,
that's the best thing I've ever heard. I was like, Ryan,
I'm actin crazy, like I can't. I don't need to
hear talking to anybody. Um. Yeah. And so we were
really open in us when so many people reached out
and said they had had similar things. But yes, when
people tell me they're taking clomad, I'm like, okay, nothing

(54:06):
counts right now. So even creating anything yourself says or
your friends, just maybe go into hanging out at home
for a while. But we we did. We ended up
conceiving triplets and it was just incredible, miraculous and um,
very very you know, difficult road to get there, but

(54:29):
we're very thankful for our miracle babies, which were the
results of praying and fertility treatments. So after your three miscarriages,
that is that when you started the clomad or were
you on it throughout the entire time. No, so our
doctors told them that you don't really seek medical help
and tell three miscarriages, but seems like a lot to

(54:50):
go through before you took out some help. But now
it wasn't until afterwards and that I went on clomad
and then some few shots that kind of helped with ovulation. Yeah,
I did those as well. Um, did you what did
you like I was talking about when I was either
having a mischaracter, if I had a chemical pregnancy, or

(55:12):
if I just wasn't actually getting pregnant. I just you said,
you know, an important thing is to really communicate with
your spouse. I was not doing that. I was really
deep down inside of myself, like trying to show my
emotions to anybody. Um, how how did you handle it? Yeah?
So the first one, Um, I really was like, Okay,

(55:34):
this is a test, this is a test of our replationships,
Like I just need it. I need to do practice
what our breach. I need to do what I know
I'm supposed to do. And so the first thing, I
feel like I was like, I'm sposed. Degree, I let
myself gree that was honest with Ryan. But then the
second one, I definitely was more discouraged afterwards, and it
was very tempting to withdraw and kind of be more isolated.

(55:58):
I definitely stopped going to baby shower. I had thirteen
pregnant friends that years, I know, like Instagram friends, like
real friends, and it was just like babies were everywhere.
And so there's been things. I mean, I'm not at
all would never say we did things perfectly. It was
a very big struggle, but there are just two things.

(56:20):
The idea that honesty creates intimacy, and so being honest
with Ryan, I mean I just got out of myself
and my friends just about what I was feeling and
what I need. And then also just the same we
say and therapy you have to feel it to heal it.
And so instead of yeah, I just I didn't even
come up with that, that was just something we say

(56:41):
all the time. And so even though it's uncomfortable to
be angry and it's uncomfortable to be sad, and definitely
like our culture isn't like, oh, good job for grieving,
you know, that's definitely not something celebrated, but just letting
yourself feel what you need to feel or else it
does come out in other ways, which just in the
wow anxiety depression. And so I didn't do that perfectly,

(57:04):
but I did challenge myself to let myself feel and
whatever that is without judgment. So I have a question,
so a lot I'm going to ask you, because you
are also a counselor. I have a lot of people
that have written in questions in regards to miscarriages. Um,
for somebody who maybe doesn't have a relationship with God
or doesn't go to church, what are some ways to heal?

(57:27):
Like somebody's written in that they've had tens ten miscarriages
behind them, you know, how do you not lose hope? Right?
And if you're from that from that background, well, and
everyone has a purpose and I think that regardless of
what your face background is, Um, there's a reason you're here.

(57:49):
And it's tempting not to always like to the next thing,
like I'll be happy when I get pregnant, or when
I get married, or when I work with teenagers a lot.
So when I get into that college and they're really
figuring out what this time is about and if if
the future doesn't have I'm not if the futurist heaven,

(58:10):
but if what you want, if you never hit pregnantly,
if you don't get married, what can you still find
purpose in for your life? And maybe those things will happen,
hopefully they do, but that doesn't negate the fact that
you have an incredible purpose and there is a plan
for your life and searching out what that is good
advice and really good advice. And in that same token,

(58:33):
you know, oftentimes I've had friends that have miscarried, and
even though I have, I still don't know the right
words to say, like what do you what advice do
you give to somebody, either a spouse or a friend
to say to somebody who's having a miscarriage, had to miscara,
you know, what is your advice on that. I do
not think there's a blanket state membered that I really

(58:55):
encourage people going through to tell people what they need
because friends and spouses do feel so scared they're going
to say the wrong thing, and so I don't I
don't know if there's a blanket state remember what to
say if you're a spouse or friend. But I think
a good principle is just remembering that that person is
still who they always were to For me, I'm super extroverted,

(59:18):
So my husband knew if I'm just saying I want
to stay at home, something's off here. And so remembering
that that friend of that spouse is still the same person,
shall has the same personality and still needs to be
reached out to a ministered to in accordance with the
person you've always known. And then how do you handle
it if you're pregnant and your friend is having miscarriages?

(59:41):
Because I yeah, I remember when I was struggling, I
would have you know, like you're saying, with baby showers
or any of those things. And it wasn't that I
wasn't happy for them, right, But I remember also being
like do I need to be here? And so you
know how now you know now I am pregnant. So
if that were to be the case for me, what

(01:00:01):
do you think the best way to go about it?
When a friend is you know, because that happened so much.
You often get pregnant in groups and you know, like
it happens and the pain is so raw and I
don't want to say the wrong and especially when you're
the pregnant one, you don't want to say the wrong
thing to the person that isn't absolutely yes, So I
think being honest is so important. Like my friends that

(01:00:25):
were pregnant while we were struggling, they I mean, they
would tell me, like, I'm pregnant. I know this may
be hard for you, and we're still praying for you.
But I just think putting stuff out there is so
much better than hiding. And I found because there are
people I kind of obviously got pregnant with triplets, and
I had a friend I've been struggling with him for
like for years, and I mean I was going to

(01:00:48):
tell home, But what I've found, what I've heard and
experiences that people already so isolated, so then if you
don't include them, then it's just even more feeling left out.
And that's I mean, that's it. I can from other
people that they do want to be told, they do
want to rejoice with you, and it's that's to them.
I mean, it's hard to hear, but it's to us

(01:01:09):
to take care of our own emotions, not us to
other people. And so we have to be responsible for
doing what we need to do for ourselves. But I've
heard people say they they've gotten their feelings art because
they haven't been included in that. So I would enclos
him to tell their friends and just how they're feeling
and that they remember their struggle. I found a lot

(01:01:30):
of people, especially if they struggle with imfertility for years,
kind of get forgotten and so it's so important to
tell that when you remember and you remember their struggle.
Thank you such good advice. And if you guys wanna
read Julius book, it's called Pray Big Things. It's amazing
and we really appreciate you taking the time to talk
with us today. Thank you for having me. I really

(01:01:52):
appreciate it. And you've got three little cutie's. I'm looking
at their picture right here. Thank you. All right, going
to take a little break. We have so many questions
from our listeners. I printed them all out of like

(01:02:12):
pages and pages, so I'm gonna try to get there
as many as possible. So we're gonna bring on Dr
Katherine Green. She's a board certified O B, g U,
I N and reproductive and trochnologist. Dr Green. Yeah, Hi, Hi,
how are you? How are you good? We're all I
amped up. We have so many questions oh perfect, Um,

(01:02:34):
do you mind if I just start rapid fire? Sure? No,
that's not problem at all. That sounds good. Okay great.
First main question that a lot of people have asked
is what age should you freeze your eggs by? Is
there an age it's too late? Sure? I think that's
a really good question. At once that I get a
lot in patents that come to see me in the office. Um,

(01:02:56):
So the optimal age is really around age thirty. Um,
that women should start thinking about egg freezing, um, and
kind of evaluating where they're at in their life and
how long it may be before they plan to have kids. Um,
there isn't. Uh. As women start to get closer to forty,
we do see a lower response and the eggs themselves, Um,

(01:03:21):
I have a higher chance of not making a successful pregnancy.
So as women approached the age of forty, that's getting
kind of towards the end of the optimal window. Um.
And then usually in the lower forties is when I
would say she probably shouldn't shouldn't pursue that option? Wow, okay, Um?

(01:03:42):
And then how do people know? I mean, for example,
I didn't know that I was going to have fertility
issues until I started getting pregnant. Is there a way
to find that out prior? I mean I I was
only eight when I think nine when I first off
the pill and started trying to get pregnant. UM. Is

(01:04:03):
there a way to find out in advance? So let's
say you're twenty eight year years old and you're thinking,
I'm nowhere near settling down and I'm not even anywhere
near wanting to freeze my eggs, but I am curious
about my fertility. Is that a possibility? Can you even
check that? Can you find out? Yeah? I think the
certain things that may point to their being UM an
issue with fertility UM some women know already that maybe

(01:04:26):
they had a surgery or you know, a flobbian tubermoved
those things UM obviously would cause an issue with attempting pregnancy. UM.
If there's heavy uterine bleeding UM or known UM issues
with the uterus, which as like fibroids or polyps, which
are benign growth in the uterus UM. What about endometriosis

(01:04:48):
and demetriosis is very common and can impact fertility as well.
So sciences of that that women might notice are painful periods.
Pain with inner corpse sometimes came with bell movements. UM.
Those are kind of the big questions that we ask
and may suggest endometriosist um. Additionally, on ultrasound we may

(01:05:09):
see signs which was a big O variant could suggest endometriosis.
Is there what about STDs UM another good question? So
a s TVs UM specifically the ones that caused pelvic
inflammatory disease like GONERI and are the most common ones.
UM can impair the fulopian tubes, So if a woman

(01:05:31):
does have a history of that, it's worthwhile mentioning that
to her joan the fertility doctors so they can saluate
if the flobian okay. And then how long would you
recommend to somebody to be off birth control before they
try to get pregnant. We as a field used to
think that women had to come off a couple of

(01:05:52):
months before attempting pregnancy. UM, we really don't see that
there needs to be that washout period. So I say,
if you're thinking you want to start attempts next month,
you can go ahead and just stop them right before
the month you want to conceive, and then attempt right
away with your next period. And do you think there's
like the best birth control you know like, if you

(01:06:14):
know you're gonna eventually want to have kids, should you
get should you be on the pill or should you
be on I don't know the ring or the I
don't know all the other ones I don't know, but
you Yeah, no, there's definitely a lot of options out there.
I think at the end of the day. Um, it
all comes down to patient preference. So your chances of
fertility after being on the pill or having an iu D,

(01:06:37):
for example, are not significantly different. Um. Basically, I would
choose the birth control that makes the most sense to
you in your lifestyle. So if someone women don't want
to think about having to take a pill every day,
so and that scenario and iu D may make sense.
But other women don't like the idea of having something
in their body, you know, in which case the pill
may be better. So, UM, it's really what works best

(01:06:59):
for her. Okay, now we're going to switch gears a
little bit. I need to I personally need to know.
And there was actually another guest on here that had
the same reaction. Why does chlomad make us crazy? And
what does it actually do? I need all the details. Sure, Um,
so Colona is a medication. Um, as it sounds like.

(01:07:20):
You know that you if you take as a pill,
usually for a couple of days at the beginning of
a cycle, and it can help you form a follic
color more than one follicle to either time intercourse, I
do intermination. The way that chlomad works is it sort
of tricks your brain into thinking that there's no estrogen
around and um. As a result, your brain kind of

(01:07:40):
um kick start and um and stimulates the ovaries to
produce follicles. So when there's no your brain thinks there's
no estrogen around, then it will work harder to make
the ovaries grow a follow color too. Um. So what
is happening is in response to the clomad um. Since

(01:08:01):
your brain thinks there's no astros in there, you can
sometimes have symptoms of low estrogen. So that's what women
often go through when the rage going through menopause. Correctly, yeah, exactly.
So like mood changes, some conversations, complaine of headaches or
vaginal dryness, that can all be a result of the
way that the medicine works. Okay, and then also something

(01:08:23):
that my doctor said that I had And I know
this sounds crazy, but you kind I kind of like
started blacking out things that were happening to me because
or not to me, but things that were happening with
my body because I didn't want to know because then
I would start researching it. But he said, during you know,
when some of my ivfs were not working, he said
that I had a killer cell that refers to like

(01:08:45):
natural killer cells is the cell type in our body
as part of the immune system. UM. And there are
some people in the fertility world that believe that immunologic
causes UM may impact pregnancy rate. So if your immune
system is kind of harder or an overdrive that may
impair implantation or pregnancy is success. UM. We there's there's

(01:09:10):
data to support both, yes, and know that it matters.
So I think depending on who you talk to, you
could a different answer. Okay, And then what is pc
O S? Yeah, So pos PCOS stands for polycystic ovary
syndrome UM. It's a condition where women have irregular menstrual cycles.
UM is the most common symptom of it. They these

(01:09:34):
women form multiple small um fists in the ovaries and
they're not actually ovariant sist. They're really follicles in the
ovaray that haven't gone away, and so what we'll see
in these women is the typical presentation is irregular menstrual
cycles ovariant um fists or those small follicles in the ovaries,

(01:09:55):
and then often elevated levels of male hormone such as testosterone.
And what this condition does is it UM prevents them
from having normal ovulation every month, and so if they're
not ovulating on a regular interval, stat equates to obviously
difficulty and conceiving, especially if you're trying to time attempts appropriately.

(01:10:18):
And if you have one of these medical conditions, will
IVF or any of these fertility treatments be covered by insurance? UM?
I wish it was covered more often than it is. UM.
It depends on what what and the patients with if
you have coverage. So we are seeing more employers offer

(01:10:39):
this as a benefit UM and WET at my facility
at r m A definitely work with insurance that patients
have it UM, but I right now there's still a
lot of patients that are unfortunately paying out of pocket. Wow.
And what what is the difference between a chemical pregnancy
and a topic pregnancy? UM? So, a chemical pregnancy is

(01:11:03):
where we just see evidence at the patient's pregnant on
her blood work, but we don't see anything on ultrasound,
either in the uterus or anywhere else. UM, And a
topic pregnancy is where she's definitely pregnant, we see it
on blood work, but when we do the ultrasound, you
can see that the pregnancy actually implanted outside of the uterus.

(01:11:24):
So the most commonplace would be somewhere along the fallopian tube. UM,
but we often, not often, I'm sorry, we can also
see it in the ovary. How common are those to
happen and are they as common as as miscarriages? UM?
Definitely not as common as miscarriages, so UM miscarriages. We

(01:11:47):
knows that about thirty percent of UM recognized pregnancy result
in miscarriage. So UM it's miscarriage is so common, and
I think women that go through that may not realize
it because if it's not something people often talk about,
but it is incredibly common. A topic pregnancy, the chance

(01:12:07):
of that is much lower. UM. I don't have a
definitive percent, but it's in the single digit so it's
much less common than a miscarriage. So if you're not
trying to get pregnant, you don't actually know that you're pregnant,
how would you know that you're having a miscarriage. The
most common sign would be U vaginal bleeding. So if

(01:12:27):
you're heavy, if you know you're pregnant based on a
home pregnancy test, then you haven't been able to get
into see your doctor yet. If you're having a vaginal bleeding,
that's something that should be should be looked at either
by your physician or if it's heavy bleeding, you know,
seeking more immediate care. Uh. Sometimes women will have like
heavy menstrual type cramping as well. What if somebody doesn't

(01:12:49):
go to the doctor, Um, if they're kind of just
waiting it out at home to see what happens. I mean,
I've known someone that doesn't know if they were actually pregnant,
didn't actually take a pregnancy test, and they just started having,
you know a lot of bleeding, and then they were like,
you know what, I don't really want to know if
I had one, Oh I see, um, well in less

(01:13:13):
nor I mean, she she made never actually know if
she doesn't go in to see somebody, if she had
what a lot of women may have what they think
is just a late period that's heavier than usual that
you know, in theory could have been a lost So
if she didn't see a doctor in that time period. Um,

(01:13:33):
sometimes with the heavier bleeding, you might it might look different,
or um, you might feel heavier cramps. Um. So those
may all be suggestive of that, but it's hard to
know without either blood test or ultrasound. And then I
just have another question that people have been asking me,
and I don't actually even know the answer, even though
I've asked my doctor. I always I always forget to

(01:13:55):
follow up. But I my first pregnancy, I was in
some aid in my second was IVF, and then third
just happened naturally. I wasn't trying. I didn't even realize
that I was pregnant because even during the first eight
weeks before I became pregnant, I was still spotting because
I've never really had like a perfectly regular period. Okay,
but why does that happen? And how does that happen

(01:14:19):
that you need all of these you know, years and
years of things and then all of a sudden you
just get pregnant on your own. Right. Um. Congratulations by
the way, Yeah, that that is something that we hear
um from patients sometimes and obviously are UM very happy
when that that does happen if patients were trying for
another child, But there there isn't really anything about the

(01:14:43):
treatment per se that would make you more fertile afterwards. UM.
I personally think it's a combination of UM kind of
a decrease in UH stressed UH autent patients seem like
they're in a better place like mentally or most really
and kind of just relax a little bit more. And
I do think that that can impact things UM and

(01:15:07):
once they kind of get a little bit more level
with regards to that, UM are surprised and able to conceive.
And just in closing my form, my last question before
I have to wrap it up, what advice would you
give to somebody who's struggling. I think it's just the big,
big message would be keep holding out hope UM, and

(01:15:30):
you're not alone. So there's a lot of women that
experience difficulty and conceiving UM, and it's such a personal
thing that not everyone will be talking about it, so
it can be an isolating experience. And I do want
patience to know that UM, there are ways that we
can help you and to maintain a positive outlook on

(01:15:52):
it and note that, um, you're not alone in experiencing this,
and there's paths you can take to build your family
and get the outcome that you're looking for. Thank you
so much for your time. We really appreciate it. Thank
you so much. It was a pleasure speaking with you.
Bye bye. So now we finished up with Katherine Green.

(01:16:13):
We're almost out of time. But I could tell Chuck,
our engineer keeps like giving me a look, like what's
going on? What do you need? Um? I hadn't, she questioned.
Happened to me last week? My ex girlfriend hit me
up and proposed wanting to have a child with me
out of the blue. Do you like her? M hm? Hold, okay,

(01:16:39):
does she want your sperm or she wants you guys
to go like she wants to have a child. Okay,
But I have a lot of question. Did you ask?
Does that mean like are we are we like going
to hook up or like that's the first question? Okay,
So like take you got in two minutes? You got
to tell us, all right, my fel we've been hooking
up on and off for the past seven years. Well

(01:17:01):
that's on you then, and I've been like literally pushing
away like like, go away, go away, go away, fall
in love, find somebody you fall in love with who
loves you. You know what I can, I can already
tell you something. But having sex with her then well no, seriously, seriously,
I I have been away for a long period of time.

(01:17:23):
How long? Probably about over a year? Okay, all right,
that's fair. But now she wants to have a baby
with you. What do you guys think Chuck should do?
Please write in and let us know. I mean, I
have my thoughts, but we know I'm gonna know it all,
so I'm gonna hold it till next week. Thanks for listening.
Subscribe to any radio or wherever you listen to podcast