Are You Being Loved Well? w/ Traci Thomas

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
To decide which thing is more more bearable, more difficult, whatever,
and you have to just you know, make that decision.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
And there's always gonna be something.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
But that's I mean, that's also every relationship.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
There's always gonna be something about.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Like I judge you, yeah, you judge my white husband,
I judge you, yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, There's always gonna be something. You know what. This
is a safe space to talk about relationships, love and sex. Now,
let me tell you something messy. I have a messy
story for you, which is that I tried trimex. Okay,

(00:39):
if you don't know what that is, Uh, it's basically
a prescription medication used to treat a rectile disfunction. And
it is you know, like like there's viagra and all
those things that you kind of take by pill, but
Trimex is an injection. It's an injection into the penis,
directly into the penis. Now, I don't have ed, but

(01:03):
sometimes I participate in activities, one of which is with
a friend let's call her Molly. And so if we'll
call her Mo for sut so, like, if me and
Mo be hanging out a little bit, it's possible that
my penis who we shall name Bertha what Okay, No,

(01:28):
we're gonna name her Bertha. Stick with it. That's what
I came about, Bertha. If Bertha's not working, we because
of mo. We we need we need a little VIAGRAA
we need little something something to support because you know,
we're still trying to do things anyway. So here's a habit.
I went out, went out to a party, had a
great time, ran into a friend, a friend who you

(01:49):
know sometimes we uh we play together. He had like
two friends and he was about to leave and they're
about to go back to his place, have a little
a little place session, little hangout, a little dept fund.
They were like, you want to come? I was like, yeah, right,
let's go. Let's let's do it right. So I show
up or you know, it's always a good time with
this particular friend and uh he you know, and getting

(02:15):
ready for you know, all the things are about to happen.
Offered trimex. So I've heard a trimex. Obviously, if you
know you're gay. In the sex party spaces, you gonna
hear about trimex at some point, because you know, people
want to make they want to last, they want to fuck.
But the only times that I've seen a dick that
has used a tri mix. It concerned me because the

(02:36):
dicks looked, how do I say this a little too marish?
What I mean by that, it's like very Gray's anatomy.
It looks like something that doctor Christina Yang should be
looking at, not me, you know what I'm saying. And
so like the first time I saw I remember I
went to this. I was at this little group orgy
situation and the host walked in and his dick was
hard as marble and we were commenting on it, and

(02:58):
he was like, oh, yes, this Trimex and oh work,
and I was like, what's that? And then when he
was like explaining, it's, you know, the thing that you
inject into your dick and then it makes it hard,
and people were asking questions about it. And as the
room was asking questions, I was just staring at his
dick because it looked like a snake had swallowed its
prey and it was like still digesting. Do you know

(03:19):
what I'm saying? Do you have the visual? You have
the visual? The second time I saw a dick with Trimex,
I was in London. This was last year, and same thing,
Like the guy was like, oh, do you need because
that was different because I went over to he up
with a couple and one of the couple members did
not look like his photos and so I was just like,

(03:40):
stand of that, and my dick was not getting hard,
and he understood. So he was like, do I want trimex?
And I was looking at his dick hard as a brick,
but also looking a little Gray's anatomy light. You know
what I'm saying, just like you need to get that
checked out. And I say, sir, no, no, sir no, no, No,
I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. So I've always been
like I I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna just

(04:02):
stick to to my my my pills. Also, I don't
I haven't let those folks fuck me because I always
felt like it was gonna it's gonna it was gonna
open my hole in like a oh my god, what
is this show? But I have to say if it's
gonna open my whole in like a geometrically advanced way,

(04:26):
like you know, I got like a little circle and
it just looked like it's about to turn into a hexagon.
You know what I'm saying. An octagon. You know what
I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. It's just like
it's just like that is I don't anyways, So I've
been against it. But here I am at this gathering,
this you know, recent gathering with my friend and his

(04:47):
two friends and you know mo is well, I've had
some MO. My friend has had some MO as well.
Second friend, you know, his dick wasn't working, and so
they were like, Okay, we're gonna take this tri mix
and they were like, do you want? I was like, no,
but I do want to see what how y'all do
it because I'm curious. So I do want to watch

(05:10):
as you administer said try mix, but no, I'm not
going to take it. And the third friend was also
like no, no, we we we we want to watch.
So it was actually really cute and really wholesome. Here
we are all like naked in the kitchen. My friend
pulls out the vials and the needles, and my friend
is one of those friends that is very very like
health conscious, does everything above boards, all fresh needles, all

(05:32):
everything's cleaned down, alcohol swaps, all the things. Like it's like,
if we're gonna do something, we're gonna do it properly.
So we're sitting there and lo and behold. They take
a little vial, they put the little needle in, get
the try and mix. They pull out, and then baby,
I watch them prick themselves with that needle right into
their dick. They said, you have to make sure it
gets through. I can't remember the scradle we have to get.

(05:55):
You have to do it in a way that gets
through the chamber. Was the the US. I don't know.
Moe was really working my brain out at that point.
It was about to work my brain out that point.
But so they said like, uh, like it has to
give it the chamber or something like that. So it's like,
oh okay, So they put it me and the third
firm were like, oh, listen, a needle is already for

(06:16):
my needle. Girls who are or who are squeamish around
the needles, needles are already gonna be a squeamish. You know.
You put the needle in my arm, that's already gonna
be a squeamish. You said, put the needle in the dick.
I guess this was better though, because I always imagine
I don't know why I imagine this but I always
imagine that it was administered like through the head, which

(06:36):
sounds terrible because you imagine a needle. Oh, I don't imagine.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, take it back, I take it back.
Don't imagine it. But it's the side, the fleshy part.
So it was a little less scary. So they they
pricked it and baby low and behold. In a matter
of seconds, a matter of seconds, that dick, them dicks

(06:58):
were up awake at attention. It was like a jack
in the box. This dick is hard, honey. And so
then so now we got these two hard ass dicks
and they look at us and they go, you sure
you don't want it? It was like, nah, now we go.
We go, and they're like, well you'll be you know,

(07:20):
the beneficiaries of the trimex and baby, yes, I was benefiting.
I was certainly benefiting. But then you know, Mo really started,
you know, to to to take a hole. And when
Mo takes a hole, you just be feeling. If you haven't,
if you've not danced with Molly before, she will have

(07:43):
you feeling uh, euphoric and sexy and like touching feels
beautiful and skin feels good and sex is just a
different level. But some of the side effects of MO
can be that your dick won't work. So I had
already taken my little dick pill because I was like,
I'm not doing the injection. I'm gonna take mod dick
pill and this you know it'll be it'll be fine.

(08:03):
And most of the time that happens, but there are
occasions where I can still take a dick pill and
that MO is just too strong. Uh, And so I
can have all the feelings, but you know, Bertha is asleep.
She ain't waken up. So we were doing things and
I was having fun, and then I was like, I
really want to top, so I said, So I got

(08:23):
off and I said to my friend, come on, let
me let's let's let's do this tri mix. Why not?
Here we are now, I think that was MO talking like.
I don't think that Brandon in my like sober state
would have said let's do it. I think I would
have been like, absolutely not. But Moe was feeling confident,
and that's why you have to be careful. Okay, be careful.
Because Moe was feeling confident, and so my frien was like, bet,

(08:44):
let's do it. So we went to the kitchen, pulled
out the vials, clean needles for the try mix. Be
very clear this for the tri mix. Okay, I'm not
I'm not a needle girl. The alcohol squad. Baby, he
put that thing in. It was it was actually not
as painful as I thought. I wasn't actually painful at all,
like a little pitch. It's like a like that, you

(09:05):
know what I'm saying, Like you know, there there are
there are more painful things to experience than this little prick.
And so he put it in and then baby, a
few seconds later, Bertha was. I mean, I don't know
if I've ever experienced Bertha. She dangerous, is what I'm saying.
Like like you could really knock an eye out with

(09:28):
how hard like I was. I've never felt it was.
It was like like it was like the like if
you slapped your phone down. You know what I'm saying.
It was hard like that. It was. It was quite incredible.
And I used her. I used her every which way

(09:49):
I could. Okay, I ugh, ugh wow wait let me
oh wow, I'm just remembering so so okay, So we
had the fun. It's it's like, you know, fun of fun.
The night is nighting. So the third friend has to
leave early because he has something in the morning, because
at this point it is like four in the morning

(10:11):
or five in the morning. Then the second friend has
to leave it. So it's just me and my original friend,
and we have great chemistry. So we're like, well, let's
just keep you know, we got these try mixed dicks.
Let's just keep fucking using it. And then it was
like the sun came up, and you know, one of
those nights once the sun is up. Now some of y'all,
I know, we'll keep going, y'all. I ran into a
friend who is, like, I was saddening after his last

(10:32):
week that lasted on until one pm the next day. Now,
I said, no, wait a minute, I don't know that.
God bless I can't do all that. But seven eight
that's when I start to be That's when I start
to question myself. You know, that's when when Moe decides
to like fade a little bit. And now it's like
seven point thirty. The sun is up, the birds are chirping,
people are getting ready for church, and I a sinner

(10:59):
and push loads out. It's just you know what I'm saying, Like,
you get to the point where're like, okay, like I
gotta go. I gotta go. So I'm getting ready to go,
but I'm like, oh, my dick is still hard, like
my dick like Bertha was just it was comical. I
was putting my shorts on and I couldn't and y'all
know my shorts, hoochie shorts. I couldn't fit her in

(11:22):
there in a way that would be acceptable to step
out into the sunlight and get my uber. So I
was like, okay, so I've enagled it so that it
would go down the thigh and I could cover it
with my crossbody. But I was concerned because it was pulsing.
At this point, it wasn't painful. My friend was like,
is it painful. It's like, no, it's not painful, because
you know, if you have an erection for too long,
like four hours or more, then that's when we got

(11:42):
to deal with some medical things. And I was like,
oh my god, the last thing I needed right now
is to have to like have just danced with Molly,
to have decided in the in the fog of her light,
to have my dick injected with something to make it hard,
and now it won't go down and now I gotta

(12:04):
go to the doctor and I don't want that. That's
not the expirit Lord, it's Sunday. God be with me.
Don't let that be my story. I can't be my
story right now. So my friend is like, it'll go down,
it should go down. Here's already gone down. And I
was like, why is not mine? Why is my not
going down? But whatever I called the uber and then
I remember, oh, bitch, you also took a dick pill.

(12:25):
So not only do I have the TRIMX in me,
I got the dick pill in me. I do not
recommend this. I'm telling you right now. That's why I'm
telling you my whole journeys, so you don't do the
same thing. I was like, this thing might actually never
go down. It's like, okay, it's fine, Brandon, Chill, chill, chill.
We're gonna go home. We're gonna you know, I was
gonna walk the dog because so I could sleep in

(12:46):
because at this point in the morning. So I was like,
I'm gonna walk the dog, I'm gonna feed the dog.
I'ma I'm then I'm gonna go to sleep and when
I wake up, you know, Bertha will be we'll be
asleep as well. Hopefully I have my time going At
this point, she's been hard for two hours at this point,
since since being administered, So I'm like, okay, cool, let

(13:08):
me sit in an alarm. And I originally sitt an
alarm for like two more hours, but I was like, no, no,
not by that point. It might be too late, like
because I don't because I also don't know what happens
since the dick is too hard for too long and
I didn't look it up. Maybe I should look it up.
But I was like, I don't know what happens, Like
if the dick is too hard, will it fall off?
Will it explode because there's so much blood rushing to

(13:28):
the head. Will it like gets so hard that it
then gets soft but never gets hard again? Like what
like what happens when it's hard for too long? I
don't know, but you can imagine. At eight thirty in
the morning, I have a lot of different scenarios playing
in my head. I popped myself a little sleep edible

(13:52):
and I was feeling the sleep coming and I was like, okay,
I got someone was coming, and I was like, all right,
I gotta got let me go to let me go
to bed. I'm gonna have that alarm for like an
hour and a half instead of two hours. If I
wake up in an hour and a half and my
dick is hard, I will deal with it then. But
for now, let me go get some sleep. Because mo
has warmed me out. Okay, Moe's warm me out. Birth
has warm me out. It's time to go to sleep.

(14:14):
But everything, do you know that if your penis on
you understand that, like sometimes when things be touched on
the head of your dick, it still makes you hard.
So I had to like position myself because I sleep
with the pillow between my thighs for my hips because
I am of that age, and you know, I usually
sleep in like my sweatpants, but I had to sleep
in something looser so that my dick wasn't being constrained

(14:36):
and didn't feel it was a whole thing. Listen, a
whole thing. I'm too immature for this podcast. Anyways. I
did wake up an hour and half later. My dick
was soft, thankfully, so it went down. It was all good.
Would I do it again? Listen with the right people

(14:56):
who I trust, and without taking a dick pill perhaps
especially dependent on the night like a night with with
Mo feels like the right night, a Tuesday night. No,
I'm good, you know what I'm saying. But at night
when I'm like, there are other forces that are trying
to cock block you birth of I'm gonna help you out.

(15:18):
Yes I would, I would, but definitely it is something
that you have to get prescribed so you know, do
your research, talk to you the friends that you trust
if you're going to try it. But it, but baby,
I have in my life I've never been that hard.
And I've been hard, I know I have, but that
hard I felt. I felt invincible. I felt like a

(15:42):
fucking superhero. I was like I could just keep fucking like.
It was just like who wants Dick? Who wants Dick?
You come sit. I barely have to do anything. I
don't have to think about it, I don't have to
do anything. Just it was low key.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
It was kind of freeing.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
It was a little you went freeing. It was like, oh,
I don't have to like do any of the mental aerobics.
My Dick is just hard like go off, which we
can get into the psychological stuff around that and like whatever,
like you know, a Dick's hardness and the pressure around
it being our but it was really kind of lovely
to just kind of exist and be able to fuck
without being concerned about the emotional factor of it. And

(16:24):
I'm always concerned about the emotional factor. But I'm saying, like,
not getting in my own head, which makes my dick
so off because no matter what the fuck I was thinking,
she was, Bertha was at attention and for that I'm grateful. Okay,
Well that's my messy story. That was a big messy story.
Your girl almost thought her dick was gonna fall off,

(16:44):
but we survived. Amen. Amen, somebody, thank you. Gods answered
my prayers. God listens. If you don't think God listens,
not me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, not me making this
dick story about God listening, but uh she do. Okay,
by the way, welcome to the show. This is tell
me something messy. I'm your host friend and Kyle Goodman.

(17:05):
Most people call me MESSI mom, but you can call
me a Bertha Kyle Goodman. Okay, period is that a
drag name? Birth of call Goodman. I'm here for I'm
here for it. Let's get the show started. Baby. You
know what that means. It's time for a guest. Now,
while they get situated, we'll get our messy. Key key
started with a hoe manifest sto repeat after me aloud

(17:27):
or in your head. Grant me the serendity to unpack
my shame, the courage to heal, the wisdom to know
that sex is not about penetration, the audacity to advocate
for my pleasure and boundaries, the strength to not call
my ex that fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they,
for it is better to masturbabe by myself in peace
than to let someone play in my mother fucking face.

(17:49):
Let the hommunity say ho lujah. I'm so excited to
have Tracy Thomas on the show. Tracy is the creator
and host of the critically acclaimed literally podcast The Stacks.
She is a passionate champion of books and a deeply
curious interviewer. Tracy is a monthly contributor on MPRS here
and now a columnist for she reads dot com. The

(18:12):
creator of the LAist Live literary series One for the Books,
She also hosts and moderates literary events, book festivals, and
author talks nationwide. Tracy's substack, Unstacked, is a place where
she dives deeper into books, and also discusses topics outside
the literary world like pop culture, sports, politics, and more.

(18:33):
Please help me welcome Tracy Hi. Tracy Hi. It's been
taking it's taken as several several months to get you
here the start of the show.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
But we've hung out multiple times.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
We have, but you're in hi demand to get you
into this now.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
No, that's not what happened. Let me tell you something messy. Actually,
you canceled on me because you were going to what
was it some of the women, the women and oh
black men, They said, Vincent, can you just reach out
to her and see if we could reschedule? And then
you were gone because you were doing ours nova.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yes, I was in New York. Yeah, but there was
a few. It was actually all blaming me.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
No, I'm gonna blame you.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
It was you too. You have a thriving podcast, you
have two children. You have but I'm here, I'm a
veil here. Well, hold on, before we get into this,
let me give you our messy mandates, which I can find.
Here we go, things get to be unprocessed. Any thoughts
or opinions shared have the right to evolve, shift or
change today tomorrow, ten years from now and.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Sorry, that wasn't even supposed to be funny.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
This is gonna be as gonna be a mess. And
if during the kiki something feels too personal unintentionally offends,
we use the safe word foosball, which gives us a
chance to pause and address or pivot accordingly.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
You guys a lot.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
This is so well. We known each other since we
were nineteen uh and we are now twenty two, so
it's a long time. It's like three whole years. Yea,
three whole years. It's a really long time. Shall we
start with a loupe breaker?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Okay, the way you're looking at side, you get to
say blue wall. At any point you're like, very much
blue breaker.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Foosball.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
I mean we're gonna we're gonna play fuck Mary block. Okay,
I like this, uh fuck Mary block. Massages, kissing, cuddling.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
I think I'm gonna block kissing.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Okay, you're black kissing, think about it.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I'm gonna marry cuddling, and I'm gonna fuck a massage.
I don't know. I love a massage, massage, I love
a massage. I'm actually gonna marry ann fuck a massage,
and then the rest can go Okay, I'm fine.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna fuck. I'm gonna marry
a massage. I always want to be a massage.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Me too.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
I'm gonna fuck kissing. I love making out and I'm
gonna but I love cuddling, but I don't need it.
I don't need it.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
I don't need kissing or cuddling.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
You don't be kissing or cuddling and I like it.
But like, but it's not like you're not crave.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
I guess I don't know.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, I'm I don't crave cuddling. Yeah, it's like, leave me.
I want my personal space. But I love to make out.
But a massage, yeah, man.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
But okay, but if it's not a good massage, like
I move away from right. Okay, do you remember this
is so this is old, this is old New York stuff.
I once met a guy and he was really nice,
and he came to my house, my apartment, and we
like watched a movie and he like put in his

(21:33):
arm around me and then he like was stroking my
arm and it was really soft.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
Like very soft hands or softly softly touched.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
It was a faint and it was so ick to
me that. I never went out with him again, but
we referred to him as soft Touch for the next
four years. While I like there was a literal man
who was lovely lovely, we called soft Touch for years.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
I loved giving names, used to give so many. Yeah,
I still give. I give nickas on the show for
nicknames on the show.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
But soft touch, soft touch, Yeah, that's not a great
like a twenty two year old man.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Like it was like, well, it's like it's like it's
like a good thing to be touched softly. When you're
saying it, it's being subverted as like negative and so
like yeah, it.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Was just like it's like if you want to put
your arm around me, like put your like you know.
This was literally like it was like, oh, I'm touching
like a piece of paper at the archive, which it
was like, so I was like, am I that frad?
Guess it was so bad?

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah. I had a massage once. I worked at this
rowing studio briefly and they gifted the instructors with massages
and it was like come in for like your fifteen
minute appointment. I swear this woman just like like just
light and I for fifteen minutes. It was before I
found my voice because now like you really have to
stop harder, harder, or have to see it out. But

(23:02):
it was it was like she's like has that was
like a little more pressure, and then she's like a
little bit more. It was. It was useless. It was
so useless. It pissed me off. So I don't I
don't know if that's bad. Yeah, and now now I
get recommendations for massages. Okay, fucking marry block Missionary, Doggie
sixty nine.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
I'm going to block sixty nine. Okay, I really don't
care for that. It's not I would like to focus
on myself when I am receiving, and I would like
to focus on you when i'm giving. Like I just
it's distracting. I can't enjoy. You're not enjoying because I'm
not even doing my best work because I'm like.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I agree with you.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
I don't agree. I just I really like to focus.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yes, I agree with you.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I'm gonna marry Missionary. It's a classic. It really is
a classic. It works great for me. And then I
guess I'll fuck Doggy.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Okay, beautiful, Yeah, I would. I will on that. I'm
probably gonna be the same. I'm gonna block of sixty
nine because it's fine and like there's it's a it's
a nice seasoning from time to time, but it's not
I'm not like I can't wait to sixty nine.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
Like we can take turns, we can do that.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
I am going to actually I'm going to marry Doggie.
I could always because if I'm if I'm fucking, if
I'm topping, I love to see that ass. If I
am being topped, it's less intense, so I can like
take it.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Like the anatomy is different too, sure, absolutely, yes. I
feel like Missionary is like real easy, basic, yeah, with
certain with certain genitaliah.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Genetics, that's it's getting very very eugenics.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Not there, not there. Yeah. I like Missionary and you know,
Propa pillow under me, So I'll funk Missionary. I marry
Doggie and I'll block sixty nine. You won the game?

Speaker 1 (24:48):
What did I win? My hoping for donut?

Speaker 2 (24:52):
That's my god, that's incredible. Time get donuts next up? Okay,
if you have I have submissions, you can email me
at tell me something messy at gmail dot com. Speaking
of which, Tracy, can you tell me something.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
I struggled with this list.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
People do stress about this because.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
I know I have messy things, But as soon as
someone tells me authority, you're like someone's like, I'm like,
I can't think of anything. My brain goes blank.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
It's when people say to a comedian, be funny, and
you're like, I have no jokes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
So I guess what I'm going to tell you is
that I am the worst mom in the social group
of moms, in the world of children. I have five
year old twins as you know, the mini stacks as
we call them, and there are moms who want to
be friends. I don't want to be fun. I have friends,

(25:51):
and I will ignore, I will lie, I will My
favorite move is like, hey, do you guys want to
like do a playdate tomorrow or like later today? Leave
on red until I'm like an hour after and be like,
oh my god, I'm just we're just getting out of something.

(26:15):
So yeah, that's messy.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
We are the same, We're the same. Yeah, I just
like yeah, yeah, it's like it's it's I love talking
to you about this because I feel like it's the
thing that people don't talk about, which is like, which
you made me have to it on now. We talk
to all my mother friends about this, which is you
have to like be friends with your kids friends moms
and like you're like, I don't necessarily like them, but.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Like I don't and like, I mean, I'm sure you can,
like when you interview people for a living, yeah, and
you're constantly being interested in people. Yes, yes, I don't
want to be interested in someone like I don't want
But then you have to have something to talk about
because you have nothing in common that you know of
besides little Billy likes Little Timmy, yeah know, And it's like, oh, okay,

(27:02):
like oh, are your kids picky eaters? Yeah? What is
your kiddie? They love chicken fingers. And I'm just like,
like when it's like a group of like a group
play day and there's multiple moms and then me, I'm
just sitting there like, yeah, I want to be dead,
like I just I don't. I don't want to be

(27:23):
locked in. And it's not that any of these people
aren't nice people, but it's just the conversation like I'm like,
why don't you tell me something about your life? Tell
me something interesting, like talk some ship with me, give
me a reason to be here, and it's like they like,
it's not even oh we went out to dinner at
this great restaurant. It's literally like things were like where
did you get your kids sneakers from? I'm like Amazon, just.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
Like you do you think that it's like they their
their life and it's everyone, but like that their life
has become just centered around the kids.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
And but I don't really talk about myself either because
I'm also not trying to make friends. Sure, like I'm.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
Just you, but you also like you're so interesting.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
Sure, but I'm never gonna talk about myself.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Why not.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
I'm never gonna be like, hey, guys, I know we're
talking about you know what jelly, which I love, But
did you know that? On my podcast I interviewed Ginger
Spice from The Spice Girls, which I did, but I'm
never gonna do that.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
Sure do they ever ask they know what you do?

Speaker 1 (28:23):
So one a few of them do. One woman like
listens and she'll text me and I actually really like her.
She's like a very nice lady and she'll text me
like she was like, oh my god, Ginger Spice, And
I was like, I know, but like the thought of
doing like I have friends who do like mommy's night
out with other school moms, friends like friends like their kids,
like other school moms that they've met through the school.

(28:45):
They'll go out and get drinks or go to dinner.
Never never, I will never. I mean maybe I will,
but I'm not just gonna do that. It's gotta be
mom's I want to be around.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's like your ideal mom to be around.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
I don't know one of my friends who has kids,
one of my friends who I like, who has kids.
I just I don't know at any mom that is
like disgruntled like I am. Like any mom who's not
like my kid is the best thing that ever.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
I feel like. I think that what I love about
you is that you are honest about the experience of
parenthood and it's like all of it, like the fun stuff,
the hard stuff, And I feel like sometimes people try
to present that everything is okay, and you have a
very low bullshit barometer.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
I don't like because then if you ever see me
out with my kids, you'll be like that woman was
lying because she does not She does not want to
cut the sandwich into a heart. She does not want
to make Easter Bunny pancakes. No, she doesn't. She doesn't
even want to make pancakes. We had fruit loops for Easter.

(29:53):
Like I'm tired. It's a Sunday.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yes, yes, I love it. I love it. Thank you
for that. I feel like you just rated a bunch
of parents. Shall we do some mess email? Sure, beautiful.
Let me read this one for you. Okay, this one says,
I'm recovering from purity upbringing purchase my first butt plug
and vibe. I'm still nervous to try, but just purchasing
them with such a big step for myself. Have you

(30:18):
ever purchased a toy? And do you remember the experience
of it? What was it like?

Speaker 1 (30:22):
And you can foose wallet if you're like, I've never
Oh really, okay, I've used, but I never purchased.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Okay, lovely, I've uh, I've purchased toys, but I actually,
and I've said on this like, I don't love toys.
Now we have different genitals and they the penis toys
do not do anything. Yeah for me? Uh So, I'm
always like I'm trying, I'm trying to find the right ones,
but I think that it's such a big step, Like

(30:49):
would you ever buy one for yourself or do you?

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I mean I would. Okay, here's the thing about being
an online person. Yeah, you get free stuff, that's true.
So like I have free ones that I've received and
they're fine, they're fine, Like I don't it's not something that.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
I'm You're like craving. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, I know.
I there's part of me that's like I'm not craving.
But people seem to have such transformative experiences that I'm like,
maybe all I know, maybe I'll I'll set aside some
time to try.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
I'm not going to I'm going to sleep.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
If I have time, let's see, like I'm out of
the sleep. Okay. This one says I have a feeling
my ex wants to get back together. I'm open to it,
but how do I bring it up? What do you think?

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Are you trying to get back together with me? That's
what I would say.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
Oh, fair, you're talking like, yeah, kind of.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
It's not my ex. You wish. I think I would
just I mean, I would probably play it off like silly.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, I feel like, do you if you have a
feel like I'm curious about, like how you get this
feeling the feeling? Like are they saying something, are.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
They They like, I want to get back together with you?
They like text me like you up?

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Like, but what's the I mean, I always feel like
people are excess for a reason, that's right.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
I mean got back together, and absolutely.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
There are excess for a reason. So honestly, if they
want it, they especially if they ended it.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Sounds like the writer wants it, They're like, how do
I bring it up? Yeah? I mean, honestly, you don't
have anything to lose, like, because you're not you are
head together and if you're still in like a lot
of good communication. The worst thing you would happen is
that you'd be embarrassed and then you'd be not as
good communication. But again it's your ex so like so like,
so they're already gone. So I would be like, why

(32:40):
are you hitting on me? Do you miss me?

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Do you want that?

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Because because I'm not open to it, that's fair, that's fair. Yeah,
I have questions about it. But I would also say,
why spend the block? You know what I'm saying. But
sometimes we spend the block because it's comfortable. But I
still I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Okay,
this one says my dom made me keep his com
on my face while he watched me finish my grad
school paper.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Last No, that's rude. You're writing like, I'm so sorry.
I'm not even trying to king shame.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
I'm just like.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
It's logistically irritating, just like I'm like, if I have
like hair, I can't focus.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah, Like the thing is like if I have to
do legit work, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
I'm like hair bag like baseball cap on.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
I'm so sorry this time has to go. It's trip
if it works for you work, but like I just
could not. I have to My work station has to
be set up so specifically for me to work and
come on my face would just not do it. But
like hot, you know, and also he's watching you, right,
I can't do that either.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Okay, if I was at top, I'd be like no,
because I like I want to sleep, like IM like
I want I want to do anything else but watch
your face.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
While you write on a computer.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Art history in the eighteen fifty but you know what.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Also, but like also for you patroon hot, like if
you were into it, I love it. I would be
in my head.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yes, I couldn't. I couldn't do both.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
It couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Could I couldn't. I could let it be there or
I could write this paper, but we can't do And
I'm trying to get an a.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
I'm trying to get that.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I'm trying to get an a. So it's gotta be
a wipe. It might maybe it's like a wipe and
like we'll say this for later, or like do you
want to do it again later and then and then
we can. But I like missus Marston means this paper,
I don't know what I mean. I just really made that.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Marks you could we learned with when er fight Master
was here, we learned about somebody submitted about a squirts cicle.
So they took fix your face, They took their the
juices and then they frozen, which show you could do
that with the and then you yeah, you like liqu
at or eat it or something. I imagine what I
would do is I would imagine if I were to

(34:55):
do this, I would take the cum off my face
and put it in like little icicle thing and then
I add like some juice and some fruit, so it's
like mixed.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
I just don't like to fuck with my food, Okay,
I'm that's fair. I can't. I'm so glad other people
are out here doing this.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
One says I'm catching feelings for someone. He made me
orgasm three times on the first date. Is that enough
catch feelings.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
For like emotional feelings?

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah, I assume.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
I don't know. I feel like those things can be different.
I'm happy for that person. They feel they're feeling good,
they think they like him person Like, I don't know.
I feel like that's I mean, what's wrong orgasms and
you feel like you like them? Congratulations?

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yes, yes, I guess I always have to say, you know,
orgasms and liking somebody don't have to go hand in hand.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
That like, especially with the first date, Like you can
maybe come all you want, but like, who the fuck
are you? Yeah? And like what like I'm not catching
feel quite fast.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
See, I'm the opposite. I fall in love with everybody.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
I love a crush crush.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Well you know me, I've been love I love everybody
I am.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
I have gym crushes all the time. God, I have
a gym crush when I was in New York. Fast.
That's great, that's a great reason for a crush.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Just like sometimes we're on treadmills next to each other.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
I'm like, faster, absolutely, and I love them any competition absolute.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
But yeah, so I I can catch feelings for someone instantly, okay,
but they're not real. I just like, I just love
to fall in love with someone. But so, yeah, I
don't think. I mean if you i'm taking this person
for I'm trying to take it as they are catching
feelings and the sex was good as opposed to their

(36:50):
catching feelings because the sex was good, oh.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Fair, But I feel like, who knows I'm catching feelings
for someone he made me work as three times on
the first date. I feel like it's he made you come,
and you're like, who is this person? And now catching feelings?

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Sure that's less ideal for me personally, yes.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
But I want to know more about you before I
say I'm catching feelings. But that's also But listen, this
is the thing.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
I catch feelings like like I will be in love
with you and and then like then I find out
one thing and I'm like the fucking yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
I don't want to diabolical. Yeah, I guess listen, have fun,
catch your feelings, but you know, just keep your wits
about you. I guess, yeah, thing like enjoy the enjoy
the falling, enjoy the crushing, but also like, you know,
don't fall unintentionally, you know, be intentional about the yea.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Like who did he vote for?

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Period?

Speaker 1 (37:36):
You know, like like you can catch things, but we
do have to do.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
We have to do the research. Ask about the politics
of that dick before you make it spit. That's is
That is the team. Okay, this is my missy pick.
You're ready for the real, the real Kiki. Okay, this
is a longer letter, and we are. I'm going to
preface this by saying Tracy that like I'm.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
So nervous, I'm sweating. I don't even know that I
didn't know you. I would never do that.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
It's why I feel so honored. Listen, we're gonna, we're gonna,
I'm gonna read it and then we'll we'll give the disclaimer,
which is that like we're going to stumble through this,
uh imperfectly or maybe maybe you're maybe you'll be perfect,
but I know that I won't. Okay, So I'm black

(38:25):
and in an interracial relationship with a white partner. I
love him so much, but I feel a bit ostracized
by certain family members, friends, and even people on the
internet who are judgmental about it. My dad, in particular,
is very bothered. He's a black nationalist type who wants
me to be married to a black man that's similar
to him. I don't want to disappoint him, and it's
weighing on me, which my partner can feel. What's weird

(38:48):
is a lot of my closest community are black, except
for my romantic partner. Contrary to what it feels like.
People think I'm very pro black. That seems obvious, but
it's like my romantic partnership is a betrail to the community.
How do you navigate being pro black but having a
white partner?

Speaker 1 (39:07):
I have a white partner, I do as well. I
also have a white mom, so I am both the
product of and currently in an inter racial We like
to call, you know, just just a mix. We're just
a mix, mix mix it up. I don't know, man,
There's not a good answer. If you feel like you
can't handle it. If you can't if you feel like
you're being judged, you don't like how it feels, it

(39:29):
makes you feel bad in your relationship. Not the relationship
for you. If you feel like you want to stick
it out, you're okay to do that, then it works.
Like a lot of relationships don't work for a lot
of reasons. And I think like feeling like your dad
is disappointed in you is a fine reason to not
want to be with someone. I think if you really

(39:49):
want to be with this person, then you got to
figure out a way to deal with it. But if
you're like I like him a lot, but also I
don't want my life to be this, that's like totally fine.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yeah, have you had tension Obviously wouldn't tension at home,
but have you attention with the world or being you
know you're.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, I mean I'm mixed, so people have to tell
me that I'm not black. I mean, like I get
all of it.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
But I I know that you're very comfortable and confident now,
but like growing up and growing in to that, how
did you kind of navigate the Yeah, all of the ridicule.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
I mean, I'm from Oakland, so like a lot of
people are mixed there. Yeah, and so it wasn't like
I definitely don't have the story where it's like I
was the only black kid or the only mixed kid
where I grew up, Like, yeah, so many of my
friends are mixed, whether it's black and white or you know,
white and whatever or black and whatever. Like, So I

(40:42):
don't I don't have strong memories of like feeling ostracized.
I do have. I did not fully understand what it
meant to be black and white, Like I didn't understand
the implications to the out as a kid, like I
remember sometimes people would ask my mom like if she

(41:04):
was our nanny, and I remember being like, that's so weird.
Why would they think that, you know, like as a
kid or you know, I definitely like it was a
different time, right, The nineties was a different, different time,
and there wasn't as much like black media for young people, sure, right,

(41:26):
like obviously Spike Lee was around, But at eight, I
wasn't like I wasn't like do the right thing, and
so I think I didn't really understand. Like my dad
would sometimes be like, you know, you're black and you're
gonna have to work twice as hard, and I remember
as a kid, I was always like like I'm tracy,
Like I didn't really understand what he was getting. At now,

(41:48):
of course I understand it, but like I think a
lot of it went over my head as a kid
because my brother's best friend was mixed. Obviously my brother
was mixed. I mean just so many people I had,
like multiple friends who were mixed in middle school, not
as much an elementary school.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
But you just never like felt like you were on
the outside.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
It never felt like the thing that some people tell,
like I don't know who I am or where I blong,
like I always have felt. I say that I'm a
black woman, yeah, but I've always felt very comfortable saying
that I'm mixed as well, Like I've never felt I
never felt the like oreo thing. Sure, even though I
know that people probably said that about me, I don't know.
I just I am mixed, Like I don't know, I

(42:32):
am both black and white on the inside and the outside.
Like I don't I get it. I get that it's
an insult, and I also, you know, the older I get.
I'm also just like it's really fucking anti black to
say that someone's not black because of whatever, Like yeah,
it's like, oh, black people all have to be like
this one way or be this one thing. And if
you if you're a creative and you make something that's

(42:54):
not exactly what your life was like. You can't tell
these stories even like within the black community all of.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
That, Like I just, yeah, you've made peace with that.
I I think that. So I grew up in a
Caribbean household. I'm first generation, and but I went to
a lot of private schools. So I went to my
elementary middle school was an international school, so we were
kind of like all representing from all around the world.

(43:21):
And then my high school was very much predominantly white,
and so I wasn't My mom always said, like, I'm
raising a strong black man for a strong black woman.
So I did hear that growing up. But obviously what
was counteractive to that was that like I'm queer, and
so I wasn't gonna be with a woman. Yeah, not

(43:43):
the right premise. But then there was also when I
got into like high school, just like what more, what
more what my options were, which wasn't even in dating,
which I did date a couple of black girls. It
just there was like a couple that like were willing
to date me because they knew I was homosexual, but
like like the white girls that were like you know

(44:03):
down today and so like, but I never thought about
the world's perception of it. I kind of just went
where whoever was like down to hang out with me. Yeah,
it wasn't like, oh I don't like And I think
that's what where I get tension as an adult is
people assuming that there is a discard or like I

(44:26):
don't like black men, or I don't like black people
because I have a white partner as opposed to. It
just so happened to work out that, like, this is
my partner, but I wasn't like looking for There's like
a there's a feeling that partners of color, black partners
who have white partners are looking for white partners as
opposed to they just fell in love.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
But nobody says that to the white partner.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
No, that is always what's frustrating. The white partner is like.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Super woke and like wow, wow, white guys dating, yeahs
so cool.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
You have a black wife, you have a black husband,
a black spouse, and the black or brown Asian partner
is like, you hate your race and you're betraying and
you get that from everywhere, Like you get it from
your community, but you also get it outside of your community.
And I'm just to your earlier point. It does feel
so curiously anti black, because you are now being disparaging

(45:19):
to a black person right based off of like who
they love.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
And saying like they're less black because of it. And
I'm just like, oh, so there is such thing as
a black monelith them, Like they're either there's no such thing.
Black people can be whatever they want and more expansive,
or there's rules to being black. But you can't be like, oh,
black people can do whatever, and then as soon as
a black person does something you don't like, oh, they're
not black black, Like I don't fuck with Candice Owen,
it's not one single bit, but she's still black, right,

(45:44):
right right, And like we deserve black villains, you know,
like do you know what I mean? Like I mean
not that we've had a problem with black villain representation,
but like every black person doesn't have to be my
black person, every black Like we are allowed to have
black conservatives, even I think they're fucking assholes, which is
not any different than a white conservative I think is

(46:04):
a fucking asshole, you know. Like it's just so I think,
like if you want to say black people are expansive
and they can be and do everything and anything, which
is what I believe then you don't get to tell
someone they're less black because they're whatever. And like, I mean,
backtracking to our eugenics conversation earlier, I think there's something

(46:25):
really interesting that happened with mixed raced people and people
who are like in in inter raci relationships or whatever,
where this conversation becomes like, oh, you're less black than
And it is interesting because it really buys into the
history of like race science, right, which is like race science, Okay,
it's all made up, it doesn't exist. But it's like

(46:46):
a lot of people try to talk about how, you know,
the one drop rule, right, like that's how it was,
how it came about in this country. So if you
had one drop of black, you were black, and many
people who looked white were embraced for their blackness in
black communities. And now there's sort of this pushback of like, oh,
you're only half black, like you're not even though experience,

(47:10):
you know, family, all of that is black. And so
I think that part of it is also really interesting
to me, of like, oh, you're not black because you
have a white parent. But it's like, you know, I
didn't invent the rules, right, Like I'm like this is
this is who I am. These are my parents, And
if you want to say that I'm less black, like
you are trafficking in this weird eugenics, yes, sort of

(47:33):
like oh if you're less than twenty five percent or
like you know, there's always this, There'll always be these
things where like certain celebrities you'll find out they're black
and I'm like, oh, well they're not black because they
don't look black. I'm like, oh, well, is that now
the bar? Like what is the bar? And why is
it moving so much? And you know, that's a conversation
that I think can and should be had of like
the one drop rule was imposed on people, right, but

(47:54):
like the question is then, like what does make someone black?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, I mean I I don't know if I had
the end. And I think what's interesting is that I
think it's it's such a delicate conversation blackness and racial relationships.
But it never seemed why I wanted to have it
with you is because there never seems to be the
appropriate space to have it in a compassionate way. It's
very much you know, like doctor Umar, like it's this
or not. You're like, I don't, I don't know what

(48:18):
to do with that. But I guess my feeling is,
what is your experience? Like, are you having an experience
where people are treating you as black? Which is a
very clear experience, Like not to be morbid, but like
are you scared of the cops when the cops over?

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Like, but there's also people who are black who are
raised with black parents who maybe don't present as black, sure,
who have a black experience.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
That's true, Like what is the black experience? Right?

Speaker 1 (48:48):
What does the black experience mean? And like, you know,
I always like, there's this soccer player in the UK.
His name is Cole Palmer. Yeah, and he looks white
as hell, white as hell. Like when I found out
he was black, I was like, dang, but he has
a black, I believe Jamaican grandfather. And when you see
his grandfather, there's not like he's black. Yeah, when you

(49:10):
see Cole, you're like, I don't quite get it. But
I don't know that we get to be like, oh,
he's white because he looks white like it is.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
If we're saying black expirits is expansive, then he is.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Well yeah, I mean he has a black grandparent. Yeah,
that's a I mean he's at least a quarter black.
Like so I think, you know, it becomes and again
that's all like race science or whatever, but like it
becomes really interesting who like I don't know, it's hard
to know who gets to decide who's what or whatever.
And obviously, like people like Rachel Dolezel have like complicated,

(49:45):
well they have they complicated who gets me white? Because
you should just be like, if you wanted to be black,
you get to be black, because like you know, in America,
who wants to be black? Like who would choose it
if they weren't? That used to be sort of the logestion, right,
and now there are people who are like want so
badly to be down in the side that like they

(50:06):
make it so that other people have to like prove themselves.
I mean, do you remember there was like a TikTok
of someone who was like I'm I'm not like no, no, no,
and then they like showed a picture of their like mom, right,
it was like, yeah, I mean that person's raised by
a black mom, even if they look white like that,
you know, yes, And then there's people who look black
who are raised you know, who are maybe are adopted

(50:26):
or raised by white people and don't have the like
black experience, but are they not black?

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah? I mean those are great questions. I mean, I
guess the answer is if we're saying the black experience
gets to be expansive and it's not monolith, then like,
if you are black, you are having a black experience.
It may not be the majority black experience, but it's
still part of the experience. I guess where it gets tricky.

(50:55):
I wouldn't say tricky, but I'm using I'm not saying
this is my attention, but I'm seeing on kind of
the communal tension is the feeling that some people are
being treated better than others, right that like which then
gets into the like if you are if you are
black but you look white, you might be having a
better experience in this world than if you are a

(51:16):
darker skin. Yeah, And so then I think that's where
a lot of the book comes up or gets kicked up,
and that's where the fight happens. I wish that, I mean,
I think I wish that we were more compassionate. I
wish that, Uh, I wish, like going back to this
person's like question, specifically in terms of relationship, Like, I

(51:36):
personally wish that I wasn't something that I had to navigate,
like you know, getting called a snow chaser or having
people dismiss my work because my husband is white. They
love to do that where it's like, oh, you're not.
Oh we thought you were cool until we found out
your you know, husband's white. And it also to mean negates.

(52:00):
Like I said, this will be imperfect. I understand that
there are black folks and people of color who are
with white partners because they are under the impression that
there is safety in that. And I understand that there
are black folks and brown folks and Asian folks who

(52:20):
chase after whiteness to have that security in that safety.
But I think what never gets asked one. I think
that all of us get lumped into that. So now
every black person that has a white partner is trying
to get closer to whiteness. And also it never the
questions ever asked what happened to that black person that
is making them chase whiteness, which I think is like

(52:43):
a compassionate question. I'm not saying it excuses whatever, but
like I never hear that part of it, like what
experience did that person a person of color have that
has warped them or their psyche to feel as though
they need you have a white partner to feel safe,
And where's what what is that conversation? And are we

(53:04):
having that conversation which I can't have. I don't. I
don't know it, but I do know the conversation of like,
I'm pro black, I love like my friends are black,
my community is black. I you know, create programs for
specifically black folks, but I have a white partner, And
why does that negate my my blackness? Which it doesn't.
It literally doesn't, but it doesn't mean that it's not painful, sure,

(53:30):
or like sad to feel like, oh wow, I have
to prove myself in a way, and ultimately, you know,
I've gotten to a place where I have to go,
like I know who I am, My people know who
I am, and people who follow meople follow me, and
my community knows who I am, and like that's actually
what matters, and I'm loved and like that's also part
of it. Like I had, which has nothing to do

(53:50):
with like I had a partner who was emotionally abusive
and was of color. And what I find so interesting
is that no one ever asks if I'm loved my relationship.
They just ask about the race, and it's like the
race has nothing to do with whether or not I'm
going to be loved well right, or if you're going
to be a good partner, like sometimes we will. I
notice where if your partners of the same race, then

(54:13):
everyone's cool, but there's no conversation about like are you
being treated well right? Are you being loved or is
it just that like you're both of the same race.
Whereas if it's inter racial, then it's.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Like, well you hate your right well like that the
interracial like invites outside opinion. Yes, yes, it's like, you know,
I don't know, maybe because I have a bad attitude,
maybe because I've grown up mixed my whole life. Yeah,
I just don't. I don't know, Like there are people
who are gonna not like you or think that you're
a phony no matter what you do, yeah, no matter
who you are. Yeah, Like I come from the book world.

(54:45):
People used to write horrible reviews of Tony Morrison's books,
right you know, like, and to me, she is the
gold standard of black literature, right, like, she is amazing
And if you go back and read old reviews of her,
they ship on her stuff. Yeah, they're like they're fine,
books are fine. So I just feel like, you know,
and she kept writing and she's the goat. So to me,

(55:06):
I'm just like you. People are gonna not like me.
People are gonna say that I'm this and that, and
I can just do what i can do and I
can just be who I'm gonna be. And if you
don't like me, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Like I don't.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I probably don't even. I mean now with social media,
like I don't know you. It's different with the person's dad. Sure,
I think that's really hard. Again, in my family, no
one could be like, hey, do you have a white husband,
because I'd be like, yeah, mom, you went inter racial too,
like what's up?

Speaker 2 (55:33):
But yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
But but I do feel like some of the outside stuff,
like I don't know, I just don't. It doesn't I
feel like I've already heard all of it, like as
a kid, you know.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
Well, you guys, I think you poke holes in it
and you go, well, what what does this really have
to do with me? Or is this other pain that's
not being projected on you? Because of course, you know,
this is such a much longer conversation, but there are
you know, racial politics in our countries, So I understand
where the stress comes from, but it doesn't mean that
that has to do anything with your.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
Current relationship, right, and like you do what you do,
you do your thing, And like if people, like I
said in the beginning, if people, if people's opinions about
your relationship are making your life difficult and you can't
live with that, that is a totally valid reason to
end your relationship. Sure, But on the flip side, if

(56:22):
you really love your partner, and I'm not suggesting that
you don't love your partner if you choose to bring
up with them, but like, if the thing that is
most important to you is the relationship with your partner,
then you have to say fuck it to the other thing.
Like you aren't going to be able to be in
an interracial relationship in this day and age and not
either hear it from somebody or like you're not going

(56:45):
to be able to be totally free from outside opinion.
Like that's just not possible right now. So you have
to decide which thing is more more bearable, more difficult, whatever,
and you have to just you know, make that decision.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
And there's always going to be some thing, but that
I mean that's also with every relationship, there's always gonna
be something.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Like people. I mean this is not shots, but like
I think about people who are like in relationships with
police officers. Yeah yeah, sure, like I judge you, yeah, yeah,
you judge my white husband, I judge you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Yeah, there's always gonna be something.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
There's there's something, you know, I'm.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
No monogamous, so like there's yeah, you know, like how
your relationships set up, there's always going to be something,
And so if you're basing it off of what other
people are thinking, you'll kind of never be right.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
But again, I understand if it's like your core community,
your family, you don't like, I don't think that I
could bring home a Republican, even if I met one
and I fell in love with one and I was
okay with it. I don't think I could be in
a relationship with someone who was like like a real conservative,
because I don't think I could bring that person home
to my family, and my family is more important to

(57:49):
me at this point.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
In my life.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
Even if I met someone that I really loved, yeah,
like I just would be like, I don't know, and
it's not the vibes. Yeah, so I get that, and
I think that's a totally valid reason to end a
relationship if that is what someone chose to do. Yes,
I also think if you choose to stick it out,
you just have to accept that. Like, people are going

(58:11):
to have an opinion, but people have an opinion about
you anyways. People are talking about you no matter what.
I'm talking shit about you for sure. For sure, if.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
You know me, I'm talking for you. Yeah, I feel
like I feel like you. One. Yes, I think a
father is a different piece to it because it is family.
But ultimately, people always have an opinion and it's you know,
whether it's the race, or how much money they make
or where they're from. Like, there's always gonna be a thing.
And so I think you have to decide for yourself

(58:39):
is this relationship making my life better? And how often
am I seeing my father?

Speaker 1 (58:45):
Well? And also if you do capitulate to your dad, yeah,
you better have a boundary set because the next one
is going to be doesn't doesn't you know whatever? Because
once you're given.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Yeah, there's always a thing, there's always the thing. But
I think ultimately, let me affirm for you and let
us affirm for you that your white partner does not
negate your blackness.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Oh yeah, definitely. That's so silly that you feel that way.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
It's so you get to be pro black, you get
to be your black self. You are black, and so
nothing even black people telling you that you're not is not.
They can't, they don't. They don't get to have final
say over that. And also like know that there are
people like us who are in inter racial relationships, interracial relationships.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
And well, I'm not black, just ask the internet.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Don't love me?

Speaker 1 (59:32):
You know you are? You are?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
And I said my podcast, you are, We're black and
we're in interracial relationships and so affirming you as well,
Like people are out there. There are people against you
as of course, but there are also people who are
for you. I think you just have to figure out
where you spend your energy and who you spend your
time with.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
That seems log off, babe, Oh the.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Way I want to delete all the apps.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
Do you know that someone wants on the Internet said
that I wasn't phenotypically black And I was like that mad,
Like I don't have black features, so they didn't know
I was black? Like I look, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
People say, But you know it really, like the the
underneath it all. It's like you're in so much pain,
like you fixed your fingers to get on here to
tell somebody you don't know they're not this that Oh
my god, you really are and you really are in pain.
You're hurt and it's all you can grasp at because
you're watching somebody live their life and live their life

(01:00:33):
however they see fit and be loved and be valued,
and you're mad at that. And so even when you
know I was talking about polyamory and someone's like, I
bet your partner is white, I was like, what did
I have to do with so like dope as advice
I gave you about non monogamy, Like why is that?
The thing is like, oh, you're there's a there's a misery.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
It's like you have to just hate someone, which I get.
I love to hate people, but I like to hate
people on dumb ship that or like real ship, Like
let me hate you on your marriage.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
You know, yes, you hate worthy things.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Let me talk ship.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Yeah, I don't want the easy one like like real ship. Yeah, okay,
let me ask you the final two questions that we
asked here. I know the answer to the first one.
Have you read sex and ad No, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
I've like never even been in a part about it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
That's not true, but absolutely sometimes you just can't though.
And then what could you learn to love about yourself? What?

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
I know what that means?

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
What can I learn?

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
I don't know what that means?

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
What could you learn to love about yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Such a big question is I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Think about yourself. Think about the things that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
You like, the things I don't like about myself that
I can learn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Yeah, yeah, you can take your time because we'll cut
out there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Oh so I just have to answer that. How about?

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
What about?

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
What about should I learned somethings I should learn? I
probably shouldn't be so hard on myself about my body.
I probably could learn to like be okay with these
extra like ten or.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
So bound extra? What girl? You look so good?

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
Well? You know, just some clothes don't fit the way
that I'd like them too. You know, so I probably could,
but I'm not going to. So let's be let me
keep that. Really, I was a dancer. I've got serious
body issues like this, Like this is deep. I started
dancing it too. We're nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Yeah, I'm dating a dancer.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
The body stuff is weird. Maybe I could learn to love.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
I don't know, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Not in person. I don't really have like self loathing, Okay,
do you know what I mean? I mean there's things
I don't like, something you loathe.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
But you're like, oh, like, what do you say? What
do I say? I hadn't I had a new one
and I forgot about it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
What do other people say?

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
People say? Bodies is a common one that comes out.
I could love to learn to love aging. I I
am a like, I'm a skincare girly down and I
will spend a lot of time, which I love. I
just love skincare. But I see myself because you know,
when we're doing this, like we're it's always on cameras.

(01:03:32):
We were both fitness instructors at the same place. You're
literally looking at yourself in mirrors all day. And so
and A grew up with like an actress mother, a
minister grandmother, and so appearances were always a thing. And
so I could just like learn to love the changes
of my face and my body more and instead of
you know, thank you, but you know, I have like

(01:03:56):
I'm like, I'm like I literally was I was like
in the mirror of the day, I was like, oh God,
I can't wait to get my eye surgery. What are
we talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
I'm never getting not never, but I really don't want
to get surgery.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Listen, I'm scared. Yeah, I mean you have to get
references and whatnot. But but I feel like it's like, oh,
why am I so like? Why am I so obsessed
with what I know? I am? I live I work
in this industry and I live in Los Angeles. So
I think that I could learn to love my aging
and how my body is aging and and and not
try and hold on to Yeah, twenty two year old

(01:04:30):
baby face. It was a youthful pull. It was a
natural poll the same we really do black nol crack
and that's on period.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
But yeah, I could learn to love aging more.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Okay, do I have to come up with another No?

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
No, No, here's perfect perfect. Yeah, my hips be doing
weird things.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Then I have to I have Oh that's what I
could learn to love that. I'm losing my flexibility. I
hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
I hate I'm trying to get I'm trying to get
more flexible.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
I got you did well, not since last time I
talked to.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
You last time you're talking to you did a mile
in how long?

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
Six? I think the most recent is six thirty six work.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
I'm sure I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
You probably could.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
No, I don't like running like that. I like short bursts,
like the twenty seconds and then yeah I can't, y'all
and them. We used to go to Barius together. Remember
we used to go Beary together. And we had that
one instructor who shant to be named because I can't
remember his name, but he was terrible, and we were
going every week, and then finally we had a substitute
and we were like, we were like, oh, this is class,

(01:05:32):
this is a good class. Yeah, we all stopped going
because we were really enamored by the hotness of that
other instructor. Yeah, thank you for being here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
We did it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
We did it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
I didn't even really have to food spot.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
No, you did it. I love y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
I feel relief.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Let's go eat bye bye. Well, you know we are
hose here, but hoes with heart. So before we go,
before we part ways, before we get back into our lives,

(01:06:11):
let me speak to your beautiful, beautiful heart. Tracy and
I have known each other for of every long time
that is my that is my family. That is my homie,
my road dog, my family. The whole reason I'm in
la is because ten years ago Tracy I was like
debating moving and Tracy was like, just come and you

(01:06:33):
could stay on our culture, like in our spirit bedroom.
It was supposed to be maybe like a couple of weeks.
I was there for a couple of months because figuring
out work and finance a lot. But that generosity, that
is that is a that is maybe the defining word
of Tracy is generous. She is a generous human being.

(01:06:55):
And she is out here doing so many wonderful things
in the community, so many wonderful programs around books, and
it's also just shows up so fully for the people
that she loves, her friends and her family, and I'm
just so honored to be part of that. She's taught me.
She's taught me what it means to be not just

(01:07:16):
a good friend, but a great friend, because that is
definitely what she is. I am here for the real
mom talk, and I hope that for the moms listening,
I hope that there was a little bit of a
relief and listen if you love you know, pickups and
talking to other moms go off. I love that for you.
But if you don't, and if it's sometimes a struggle

(01:07:39):
inside of the motherhood of all and the social politics
of motherhood, I hope that Tracy's truth telling, her admissions,
her sharing made you feel seen and heard and not
alone in your journey and on your journey. Shout out
to all the moms, because right it's not just you know,

(01:08:02):
changing diapers and you know, breastfeeding. It's so much more.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
It's literally a human that you are trying to raise
into a full on person, and you have to now
navigate not only your life, but their life, and if
there's more than one of them, their lives along with.

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
You know, if you're married or your family, Like, there's
just so much that you are holding in your brain.
You know. My director for a Hoe Church is brilliant
and also a mother, and I'm always just in awe
as she navigates her newborn, her daughter and then also
meet also like our show, I just hats off to

(01:08:50):
all the moms. Hats off to you know, being being
a mom and just that being your focus. Is a
lot to do that and also you know, be in
a partnership and also have a job like, I just
want to take this moment to salute you and say
that you are divine forces, truly, truly, truly, and you

(01:09:13):
deserve the best this world has to offer. And so
thank you for for the ways in which you love.
Thank you for the ways and what you love. Let's
get intell what we were key king about, which is
I would saying this, watching come dry is better than
watching paint dry, perhaps, but I still like Tracy. I'm

(01:09:35):
not trying to watch come dry on somebody's face, but
go off. I love that. If that is your kink
and that's what you love, then I want that for you.
But I do have questions, you know. I'm I'm I'm
I'm gonna give you a towel, okay, even when I like,
even if it's my especially if it's not come I'm
I'm a hand with the towel. I'm gonna be that's

(01:09:55):
so hot. And then I might hand with the towel. Now,
who knows, I'm gonna look it up. I am not
nasty some but I know somebody just went, yeah, I
could be that nasty. I might look you come up,
My lick might come up. Who knows. It depends on
how I'm feeling and what the vibe is. But I
will definitely give you a towel, and you know what
I'm gonna do, Like if you if I'm hosting, I'm
gonna warm that towel up. Yes, I'm gonna get some

(01:10:17):
warm water on that towel and I'm gonna hand it
over to you. I'm gonna let you wipe your beautiful face,
wipe your beautiful stomach, because that's that's just me. But hey,
if you want to do your paper with come and
drying on your face, go off on the more kind
of serious side one, I'm thankful for Tracy for having
this conversation with me. It's a conversation I've been thinking

(01:10:38):
about having on this podcast since its inception, but you know,
always wanting to be one sensitive about when we talk
about race and like who to talk about it with
was also really important to me, and how we frame
the conversation was really important to me, and Tracy just
felt like the right person to brow to the subject with.

(01:11:01):
We didn't have the full conversation. I'm sure as you
were listening there are things that you might have been
thinking or ways you might have been feeling, because when
we talk about race, A lot can come up, especially
when we talk about black and white relationships or sorry,
just kind of any relationship opposite a white person. There

(01:11:22):
is a lot to contend with inside of that. I
think that one of my biggest takeaways and something that
I has, you know, brought me peace as I navigate
people's assumptions or their judgments, is that it is quite

(01:11:43):
anti black to tell people they are black, to qualify
their blackness, to me is anti black. If race is
a social construct, a construct designed by those who identify
as white, then for us inside of our own communities
are black communities, communities of color, to abide by that,

(01:12:07):
to enforce that is actually, to me, perpetuating white supremacy
and that ideology. And I think it is actually not
loving or compassionate of black folks to dismiss or discard
them based off of whatever tenants or bullet points that

(01:12:33):
you have created or fabricated or adopted. You know, there's
that the black experience is our experience of blackness qualified
by our trauma. I'm bringing that because I said, are
you scared of cops? And that is I really want

(01:12:55):
to kind of foozball that, which is like I don't
think that our blackness should be qualified by our trauma.
I think that's there and it's for sure part of
our experience, but I don't know if that is a
measure for your blackness or if it should be a
measure or measure in totality. And by the way, as

(01:13:15):
I'm saying all this, a lot of it is wet cement,
and so I'm open to dialogue around it. So if
you have thoughts, feel free to email me at tell
me something messy at gmail dot com or d m
me or hit me up on subsack. But that is
my feeling is like, oh right, let's not qualify it
based off of trauma, or at least not just trauma alone.

(01:13:39):
That there is so much more to being black and
so much it adds to it, and that the black
experience doesn't get to be defined by anyone except the
black person. You know, when we talk about Rachel dolaz
Al like Gina black and that's just what it is.

(01:14:00):
That's somebody who wants to be black or wanted to
be black or whatever the fuck that was. So I'm
not talking about heart, right, I was talking about people
who are black, who have black people in their lineage,
they are having in a black experience. They might not
be having the majority experience that we're having, but they

(01:14:20):
are having a black experience. And so how do we
honor and respect that? Do we honor and respect that?
I don't know, Like if somebody presents as white but
has but it like has a black grandparent or has
a black parent, but just happens to, you know, be lighter,
and doesn't you know it's not immediately visibly perceived as black.

(01:14:47):
Does that mean that their experience that they're that they're not.
I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't think
it does. But I'm also working that out in real
time and kind of expanding what my what my thoughts
have been, or what my previous parameters have been, and
can I push past it. I am curious about people

(01:15:14):
who do chase whiteness and if there's space to wonder
why they do it, because I get that you know
that there is a default that if you are a
black person, a brown person, Asian person with a white partner,
there is a default belief that you are chasing whiteness
or that you hate your people. And as Tracy and

(01:15:36):
I said, but the white person is so woke and liberal, right,
and that is not the case, right, Like the black
person is not hating their race. They just fell in
love with somebody and are pursuing love at base. That
does not mean that there aren't black folks or people
of color who are chasing whiteness, whether that is romantically

(01:16:00):
or professionally or any other spaces like it happens, and
I think that there is. Let's keep it on romance
for now, but I think there is. I wish and
hope to create room to wonder why, to wonder with

(01:16:25):
compassion and curiosity and maybe empathy, what perhaps happened to
that person in their history that made them feel as
though they had to find safety in whiteness. And I
will also say they're not safe in that. Like if
you are chasing, if you're dating white people because you

(01:16:47):
want safety, it's false. You're not gonna get it, baby,
because you are at the end of the day, black.
So you're not gonna get white safety because that that
you're black. You know what I'm saying, Like, it's it's
a it's a false chase, but it's a chase nonetheless,

(01:17:08):
and something that some people have tricked themselves into believing
is possible, And so I get curious about what are
the ways in which you were possibly rejected? What are
the experiences that you had that taught you that your
skin and that your culture and that your ethnicity was
dangerous or was not good enough? And how do you

(01:17:29):
unlearn that? And is there space for compassion for those
humans who are navigating that. I don't have the answers
when it comes to interracial relationships. You know, there's such
a concern for how the relationship looks. Does it present heterosexual,
is it the same race? Is it monogamous? And if

(01:17:50):
it's not those things, it opens itself for judgment. But
I really want us to start asking or people being
loved well? If you are monogamous or non monogoures or polyamorous, okay?
Are you being loved well if you are in the
same race relationship or in a racial relationship. If you're heterosexual,
you're homosexual, your pan sexual, you're bisexual, you're asexual? Okay?

(01:18:15):
Are you being loved well? I don't care how it presents.
I care about your heart. I care about the hearts involved.
Are you being loved well? And are you loving well?
Is this a relationship that is growing you and adding
to your life, and something that you're you're building your

(01:18:35):
life with in a way that you're proud of, in
a way that makes you happy, in a way that
brings you peace, or is it something else. Yeah, I
don't know what more to say about that, but I
guess i'll kind of end with Tracy said, there are
people who are not gonna like you or think you're
a phony no matter what you do or who you are.

(01:18:58):
And then it uses example of Tony Moore, you know,
in her early work being completely shat on, and I
think that's true. You know, I think you have to
ask yourself, does this have to do with me? Or
is this other people's pain being projected onto me. We're
never going to be free of other people's opinions, so
I think you have to base your decision on you

(01:19:22):
and what makes you happy. At the end of your life,
when you're on your deathbed, are you going to be
happy that you did what everyone else told you to
do or you're gonna be happy that you did what
you wanted to do. And I agree with Tracy, like,
if you're like, listen, my family's my close circles perception

(01:19:43):
of this or how they receive this is far more
important to me then that is tea. But then also
make sure you have your your boundaries or your guardrails
that don't get to be altered by other people. You know, like,
what do you want, Who do you want? Who do

(01:20:06):
you want to love? What makes you feel loved, what
makes you happy? Don't let other people dictate that for you.
You decide what that means for you. And even if
it looks like nothing you ain't never seen, you aint
never read about, you ain't never heard about, you've never
seen on TV or in a movie. Our media represents

(01:20:27):
such a small, small, small facet of what is possible
in your life. So don't base your life on the
lack of imagination that runs rampant in our society and
in our families. Base it off of you. All right,

(01:20:47):
That's all I got to say. I love you so much.
I'm so happy that Tracy was here. I love her
so much, and I love you so much. I want
to hear what you think or if you had any
football moment, so you can email me at tell Me
Something Messy at gmail dot com. Also, if you want
more mess join me over at Substack Brandoncolodgodman dot substack

(01:21:09):
dot com. Every week on Monday nights, I do Messy
Mondays at night where I chat with different guests, you know,
a compassionate space to talk about whatever the book we want.
So you can check that out every Monday night, six
pm Pacific, nine pm Eastern. If you become a paid subscriber,
which is five dollars a month, you get access to
all the Messy Goodies, including the live stream. But of

(01:21:30):
course monthly essays are Substack exclusive podcast called Hey Everybody.
Plus you can be part of the group chats if
you want to be. But let me play you a
little clip from the most recent essay I wrote, because
sometimes I also do voiceovers of the essays, and this
one was about Mother's Day and for those of us
who are part of the Mother's Grief Club, which are

(01:21:56):
humans who have physically or emotionally lost their month. So
it's a just play it. Fourteen years ago, losing my
grandmother physically and then my mother emotionally turned my world
into broken glass, shards and blood everywhere. I thought I'd
never be happy again. I thought i'd never rebuild. I

(01:22:18):
thought I'd be alone and never loved again. You know
that mother love, the one people write poetry about, dedicated
wards to aspire to become. I thought no one would
ever see me like my mother did, that my soul
would never be known again, never be accepted. But this
morning I woke up to beautiful messages from friends and

(01:22:42):
chosen family letting me know how much they loved me,
even a few people wishing me a happy Mother's Day.
And I'm weeping with gratitude that my twenty four year
old self, who could have built an impenetrable wall around
their heart after experiencing such an earth size loss, didn't

(01:23:02):
give up on love. Yeah, you know, I am always
going to try and be, as I say, disruptively vulnerable
and share the things that maybe are a little harder

(01:23:23):
or things that we don't talk about, in hopes that
if you are also navigating something similar, that you don't
feel alone in it, that we all remember that we
are not alone, that somebody out here understands some part
of our journey and that we're okay. So I hope

(01:23:43):
you'll check it out. You can find me on Instagram
as well at Brandon Kyle Goodman. You can find our
podcast at tell Me Something Messy and you can join
our community on the Messy Monday's substack. When you subscribe,
you'll get weekly posts, recommendations on sex and and so
much more. Also, I want to hear from you, so

(01:24:03):
send your topic ideas, your messy stories, your submissions, your
game ideas to tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com.
You can also call us at six six nine sixty
nine Messy That is six six nine six ninety six
three seven seven nine. Rate review and share this podcast
with all your hoe and aspiring hoe friends. Really really

(01:24:27):
helps the show out, all right. Until next time, ask
about the politics of that dick before you make it spit,
make sure they eat the kitty before they beat the kitty,
before fuckation or succation. Communication. And in case you haven't
heard it yet, today you are so deeply loved. I
love you bye. Thank you so much for listening to

(01:24:52):
tell Me Something Messy. If you all enjoyed the show,
send the episode to someone else who might like it.
Tell Me Something Messy was executive produced by Ali Pair Sorry,
Gabrielle Collins and Yours truly. Our producer and editor is
Vince de Johnny. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio and the
Outspoken Network. Visit the iHeartRadio app, or anywhere you subscribe
to your favorite shows.

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Brandon Kyle Goodman

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