December 1, 2025 • 12 mins
This week's conversation with Hernando Umana was so packed full of goodies, we just had to give you some more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Baby, I know you can't get enough.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
So here's a little more mess because I have more
to say.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Now let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Messy, happy messy Monday. I hope that you enjoyed your
leftovers or happy whenever you listening to this, I hope
you enjoyed your leftovers from your Turkey Day or you know,
if you're you know, international, you don't celebrate that. I
hope you just ate, well, whatever it was, you know
(00:29):
what I'm saying. So we had heard Nando Yumana on
the show, one of my close friends, my chosen family members,
who we talked about so many things and some of
it did not make it into the main episode. So
here's the bonus. First, we're going to talk about, you know,
failure being part of the process. Failure is part of
(00:54):
the process of you know, getting to your goals. So
here's right handle and I had to say about that.
You could say anything to me, be nice, be messy.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Are people mean?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
People who are not fans of the show or me
can be mean because they think they think.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
They're coming onto your story and comments.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
They can be like they can be you know, like
they can be so mad at me for something and
I'm like, girl, get out of here, out of their way,
keep scrolling.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
How did you get into the story anyway? Like keep scrolling.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
No one gives a fun out opinion. This ain't for you.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You think I care? Yeah, no, it's crazy anyways.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This one says, oh, oh, how do you this is sweet?
How do you remember to believe in yourself when failure
is a real possible.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Option because you're going to fail? And like no, no, no, no, like.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
No, no, no, no, you know you're right right, you had
that answer.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's because I have to remind myself that every fucking day.
It's like that's part of the fucking process. But like fail,
get up, learn from it, and keep going.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That's like, yes, literally that failure is part of the game.
It's literally part of that.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And once you kind of accept that, it makes it easier.
Like now I'm excited when I fuck? Yes, what do
I What do I need to adjust here?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
And it's not failure, no, it's all data. The amount
of times that listen, the amount of times that I
have failed. Yes, you fail, you know you fail, but
you learn something quote unquote fail, but you learned something
for real, and then you.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Keep moving yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I think if you're saying I'm a failure, you're putting
yourself that people on yourself, and like just just get
back up, and.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Can I say this, Think about your favorite people that
you admire, your successes. There, they all had failures, they've
all had they've all had to close something down and something,
They've all had failures, and you still fucks with them.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
You still like them.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
They might have had an album that failed, they might
have had a business that failed, they might had a
book that failed, but you still fucks.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
With them because that failure does not define who they are.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
And it probably catapulted them to Yes, because I learned
this X, Y and Z exactly Yes, yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
what was what was the full question?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
The question was how do you remember to believe in
yourself when failure is a real, possible option, which is
just like except that failure is real, Yeah, and it's gonna.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Behind yourself, yes, and like figure it out and do better.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I think if you accept it that it's an except
that it's not an option that will happen, but you're
going to do it anyway, then I think you I
think the belief can go. Let me give myself a
credit because how brave am I to do that? How
courageous am I? Oh I got myself back up. Yeah,
that's like.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Where I can give myself like oh you're You're strong,
You're powerful.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I'm training my brain
to when I have those moments and be like good job.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yes, I was saying to Francisco.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Ramsey was sitting with us, and I was telling her
that Susan Sarandon said that when she would lose a part,
like she wouldn't get the job, she would still celebrate it.
She would still like and with whatever way, like she
would buy herself an avocad or whatever.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
If I worked on this thing, I'm proud of myself.
Did I delivered something that I felt great about. I
wish I would have gotten it, But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I can celebrate this loss because like it just means
that I'm being steered to like what is for me?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
What is for you?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I know my grandmother always say it, and you're like, ah,
but what is for you will ever pass you by?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
It just it is like every what we're gonna talk
about today, just like it could be like every thing
that I have viewed, like negatively in my life. Yeah.
Has Actually I look at it and be like, oh
my god, if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have met
this person. Yes, and here it just truly everything starts
to connect and make sense. Yeah, you just have to
(04:51):
stop looking at as a failure and be like, no,
that was when I learned this and did this instead. Yeah,
that helps me a lot. I love And the most
important thing is in the process, be nice to yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Be kind to yourself. Like every like people will be mean,
why would you add to that noise? Yeah, other people
will tell you you can't do this, you shouldn't do this.
Why would you do that to yourself? Like? Maybe I
feel like making this the kindest place in the world is.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Everything, And the way we speak to ourselves is a habit,
and habits can be changed and habits can be learned. Yes,
so like start creating the habit of you're gonna say like, oh,
you're so stupid, And start creating the habit of just
having a different voice to be like hey no, no, no,
like just you could just do better next time. Yes, yes,
(05:40):
it's okay, start just training it. I mean that changed
my life.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yes, my mentor uh. That said, if you were your
own parent, what advice would you give to yourself? And
I always think about myself as a parent to myself.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Wow, and so it's you a photo of yourself as.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
A I do have a photo a younger version of myself,
like I think it was like eight or nine on
my on my phone. To just remind myself to give
that to talk to that child the way I wished
I was spoken to, with the way I needed to
be spoken to. And so I talked to the adult
version of you gently, like you don't need to be
(06:19):
yelled at to learn something new.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
You actually won't learn if you do it. I studied
a little bit with a meditation teacher who specifically like
she was a neuroscientist who was studying neuroplasticity with the
brain with meditation.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh got it.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And so that's oh my god, that's the only reason
I got into meditation because I couldn't handle a woo woo. Yeah.
But once she connected the science behind it, I was like, yes, oh,
this is like, this is real. Yes, absolutely, and she
she's she's the one that taught me that. But what
were saying right before.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
That, Oh, being a parent to yourself, being gentle, being
kind to yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yes, oh, she said to me. Uh, And I don't
know like the exact mechanisms of this, but she said
to me something like, when you when that negative voice
comes in your head, the part of your brain that
is responsible for learning literally shuts down and learn better,
to do better. Yeah. So when you can start stopping
that voice or just catching it, just at least catching
(07:19):
noticing it, yes, eventually you can start being like hey,
no, no good no, no, yeah, And I mean my whole
like I never the second I go to beat myself up,
now the second my brain now goes no, no, yes, And.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Which that's important to note that, like you may not
ever stop completely. You won't going to that because it's
an old habit, but like you can catch it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and you can rewrite it.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I don't think we ever will. I think we're always
going to have maybe less and less and less.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Less and less, but there's always going to be like
a voice something. Yeah, it's something that you're going to
have to Yeah. We're not perfect, and the goal is
not perfection. The goal is humanity.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That was chicken soup for us. I don't know where
I pulled that from.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Do people say that I feel so old saying that
maybe I was chicken soup photosle my god, my god.
As I get I don't know. These sayings they catch
me and they make sense. That's so I say I'm
gonna be such a great elder.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I just want to say that I'm gonna be such
I'm gonna just have all the sayings as an elder.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Okay, just just know that.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
So this other clip that I want to share with you,
Hernando and I were talking about how he became essentially
like the poster child of HIV after doing a campaign,
and so I was curious about what that meant for him,
how that felt, how that came about, And so here
is that story.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
You became the poster child?
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, So yeah, a whole bunch of cool things happened after.
But one thing was New York State Department emailed me
and they were like, we're doing a campaign for you.
Equals you would you come in and do a photo? Oh? Yes,
undetectable equals untransmittable with which is that's basically like that's
what we've foughten to get to. It's as far as
we've got into so far, which is eliminating as much
(09:08):
of the virus as possible so that you can't It
has been proven that you cannot transmit it to anyone else.
There's a better way to say it than what I
just said, but it is basically science showing that you
cannot transmit it to anyone. Yes, and I'm going to
lose my train. I thought you're a child poster child. Yes.
(09:29):
New York State calls me, say, do you want to
do this photoshoop for you? Was you campaign? And I
was like yeah, I think I got paid like two
hundred and fifty bucks. I wasn't doing it for the money.
It was like, yeah, you're just like part of this. Yes, cool,
And I guess I did not read the fine print
because they put it on every subway, like every subway
(09:51):
a face of me like HIV. Like it was crazy.
It was on a fucking billboard in New York. And
then it became grist ads inside boys being like this you.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Theds the.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Cats out of the bag made it so much easier
to tell people. But it was a moment. It was cool.
How did it feel like, were you like empowering? Wow? Yes? Yeah, yeah,
because just this is so stupid. This is so stupid. Yeah, okay, great,
(10:32):
So if me literally just showing up and being myself
and not having shame in it, that is going to help.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I'm gonna do it, period, period.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Fucking cool because, like I I want the next generations
to have it even fucking better.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, you know, well that's it, baby.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I'm so happy that you were able to join me
for a little extra mess you know. We'll be back
here on Thursday with a new episode. Of course, if
you have any questions or you have any thoughts or takeaways,
email me at tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com.
And if you want to submit a messy story or
a messy question anonymously and it'll make it on the show, honey,
(11:11):
you can go to something Messy dot com and it
remains anonymous.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay. I love you so much. I really do talk
to you soon. Bye, And I love YouTube messy patron hoes.
All right, y'all, have a good week.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I'm gonna see you on Thursday for a new episode
of Tell Me Something Messy.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Don't forget.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You can find me on Instagram at Brandon call Goodman.
You can find our podcast at tell.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Me something Messy.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
You can also join the hommunity on substack. Brandon call
Goodman dot substack dot com. Listen to tell Me Something
Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast or anywhere you get your podcast.
Have I said it already?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby,
I love you.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Bye,
Baby, I know you can't get enough.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
So here's a little more mess because I have more
to say.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Now let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Messy, happy messy Monday. I hope that you enjoyed your
leftovers or happy whenever you listening to this, I hope
you enjoyed your leftovers from your Turkey Day or you know,
if you're you know, international, you don't celebrate that. I
hope you just ate, well, whatever it was, you know
(00:29):
what I'm saying. So we had heard Nando Yumana on
the show, one of my close friends, my chosen family members,
who we talked about so many things and some of
it did not make it into the main episode. So
here's the bonus. First, we're going to talk about, you know,
failure being part of the process. Failure is part of
(00:54):
the process of you know, getting to your goals. So
here's right handle and I had to say about that.
You could say anything to me, be nice, be messy.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Are people mean?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
People who are not fans of the show or me
can be mean because they think they think.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
They're coming onto your story and comments.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
They can be like they can be you know, like
they can be so mad at me for something and
I'm like, girl, get out of here, out of their way,
keep scrolling.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
How did you get into the story anyway? Like keep scrolling.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
No one gives a fun out opinion. This ain't for you.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You think I care? Yeah, no, it's crazy anyways.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This one says, oh, oh, how do you this is sweet?
How do you remember to believe in yourself when failure
is a real possible.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Option because you're going to fail? And like no, no, no, no, like.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
No, no, no, no, you know you're right right, you had
that answer.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's because I have to remind myself that every fucking day.
It's like that's part of the fucking process. But like fail,
get up, learn from it, and keep going.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That's like, yes, literally that failure is part of the game.
It's literally part of that.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And once you kind of accept that, it makes it easier.
Like now I'm excited when I fuck? Yes, what do
I What do I need to adjust here?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
And it's not failure, no, it's all data. The amount
of times that listen, the amount of times that I
have failed. Yes, you fail, you know you fail, but
you learn something quote unquote fail, but you learned something
for real, and then you.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Keep moving yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I think if you're saying I'm a failure, you're putting
yourself that people on yourself, and like just just get
back up, and.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Can I say this, Think about your favorite people that
you admire, your successes. There, they all had failures, they've
all had they've all had to close something down and something,
They've all had failures, and you still fucks with them.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
You still like them.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
They might have had an album that failed, they might
have had a business that failed, they might had a
book that failed, but you still fucks.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
With them because that failure does not define who they are.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
And it probably catapulted them to Yes, because I learned
this X, Y and Z exactly Yes, yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
what was what was the full question?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
The question was how do you remember to believe in
yourself when failure is a real, possible option, which is
just like except that failure is real, Yeah, and it's gonna.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Behind yourself, yes, and like figure it out and do better.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I think if you accept it that it's an except
that it's not an option that will happen, but you're
going to do it anyway, then I think you I
think the belief can go. Let me give myself a
credit because how brave am I to do that? How
courageous am I? Oh I got myself back up. Yeah,
that's like.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Where I can give myself like oh you're You're strong,
You're powerful.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I'm training my brain
to when I have those moments and be like good job.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yes, I was saying to Francisco.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Ramsey was sitting with us, and I was telling her
that Susan Sarandon said that when she would lose a part,
like she wouldn't get the job, she would still celebrate it.
She would still like and with whatever way, like she
would buy herself an avocad or whatever.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
If I worked on this thing, I'm proud of myself.
Did I delivered something that I felt great about. I
wish I would have gotten it, But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I can celebrate this loss because like it just means
that I'm being steered to like what is for me?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
What is for you?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I know my grandmother always say it, and you're like, ah,
but what is for you will ever pass you by?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
It just it is like every what we're gonna talk
about today, just like it could be like every thing
that I have viewed, like negatively in my life. Yeah.
Has Actually I look at it and be like, oh
my god, if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have met
this person. Yes, and here it just truly everything starts
to connect and make sense. Yeah, you just have to
(04:51):
stop looking at as a failure and be like, no,
that was when I learned this and did this instead. Yeah,
that helps me a lot. I love And the most
important thing is in the process, be nice to yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Be kind to yourself. Like every like people will be mean,
why would you add to that noise? Yeah, other people
will tell you you can't do this, you shouldn't do this.
Why would you do that to yourself? Like? Maybe I
feel like making this the kindest place in the world is.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Everything, And the way we speak to ourselves is a habit,
and habits can be changed and habits can be learned. Yes,
so like start creating the habit of you're gonna say like, oh,
you're so stupid, And start creating the habit of just
having a different voice to be like hey no, no, no,
like just you could just do better next time. Yes, yes,
(05:40):
it's okay, start just training it. I mean that changed
my life.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yes, my mentor uh. That said, if you were your
own parent, what advice would you give to yourself? And
I always think about myself as a parent to myself.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Wow, and so it's you a photo of yourself as.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
A I do have a photo a younger version of myself,
like I think it was like eight or nine on
my on my phone. To just remind myself to give
that to talk to that child the way I wished
I was spoken to, with the way I needed to
be spoken to. And so I talked to the adult
version of you gently, like you don't need to be
(06:19):
yelled at to learn something new.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
You actually won't learn if you do it. I studied
a little bit with a meditation teacher who specifically like
she was a neuroscientist who was studying neuroplasticity with the
brain with meditation.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh got it.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And so that's oh my god, that's the only reason
I got into meditation because I couldn't handle a woo woo. Yeah.
But once she connected the science behind it, I was like, yes, oh,
this is like, this is real. Yes, absolutely, and she
she's she's the one that taught me that. But what
were saying right before.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
That, Oh, being a parent to yourself, being gentle, being
kind to yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yes, oh, she said to me. Uh, And I don't
know like the exact mechanisms of this, but she said
to me something like, when you when that negative voice
comes in your head, the part of your brain that
is responsible for learning literally shuts down and learn better,
to do better. Yeah. So when you can start stopping
that voice or just catching it, just at least catching
(07:19):
noticing it, yes, eventually you can start being like hey,
no, no good no, no, yeah, And I mean my whole
like I never the second I go to beat myself up,
now the second my brain now goes no, no, yes, And.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Which that's important to note that, like you may not
ever stop completely. You won't going to that because it's
an old habit, but like you can catch it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and you can rewrite it.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I don't think we ever will. I think we're always
going to have maybe less and less and less.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Less and less, but there's always going to be like
a voice something. Yeah, it's something that you're going to
have to Yeah. We're not perfect, and the goal is
not perfection. The goal is humanity.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That was chicken soup for us. I don't know where
I pulled that from.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Do people say that I feel so old saying that
maybe I was chicken soup photosle my god, my god.
As I get I don't know. These sayings they catch
me and they make sense. That's so I say I'm
gonna be such a great elder.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I just want to say that I'm gonna be such
I'm gonna just have all the sayings as an elder.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Okay, just just know that.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
So this other clip that I want to share with you,
Hernando and I were talking about how he became essentially
like the poster child of HIV after doing a campaign,
and so I was curious about what that meant for him,
how that felt, how that came about, And so here
is that story.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
You became the poster child?
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, So yeah, a whole bunch of cool things happened after.
But one thing was New York State Department emailed me
and they were like, we're doing a campaign for you.
Equals you would you come in and do a photo? Oh? Yes,
undetectable equals untransmittable with which is that's basically like that's
what we've foughten to get to. It's as far as
we've got into so far, which is eliminating as much
(09:08):
of the virus as possible so that you can't It
has been proven that you cannot transmit it to anyone else.
There's a better way to say it than what I
just said, but it is basically science showing that you
cannot transmit it to anyone. Yes, and I'm going to
lose my train. I thought you're a child poster child. Yes.
(09:29):
New York State calls me, say, do you want to
do this photoshoop for you? Was you campaign? And I
was like yeah, I think I got paid like two
hundred and fifty bucks. I wasn't doing it for the money.
It was like, yeah, you're just like part of this. Yes, cool,
And I guess I did not read the fine print
because they put it on every subway, like every subway
(09:51):
a face of me like HIV. Like it was crazy.
It was on a fucking billboard in New York. And
then it became grist ads inside boys being like this you.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Theds the.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Cats out of the bag made it so much easier
to tell people. But it was a moment. It was cool.
How did it feel like, were you like empowering? Wow? Yes? Yeah, yeah,
because just this is so stupid. This is so stupid. Yeah, okay, great,
(10:32):
So if me literally just showing up and being myself
and not having shame in it, that is going to help.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I'm gonna do it, period, period.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Fucking cool because, like I I want the next generations
to have it even fucking better.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, you know, well that's it, baby.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I'm so happy that you were able to join me
for a little extra mess you know. We'll be back
here on Thursday with a new episode. Of course, if
you have any questions or you have any thoughts or takeaways,
email me at tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com.
And if you want to submit a messy story or
a messy question anonymously and it'll make it on the show, honey,
(11:11):
you can go to something Messy dot com and it
remains anonymous.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay. I love you so much. I really do talk
to you soon. Bye, And I love YouTube messy patron hoes.
All right, y'all, have a good week.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I'm gonna see you on Thursday for a new episode
of Tell Me Something Messy.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Don't forget.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You can find me on Instagram at Brandon call Goodman.
You can find our podcast at tell.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Me something Messy.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
You can also join the hommunity on substack. Brandon call
Goodman dot substack dot com. Listen to tell Me Something
Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast or anywhere you get your podcast.
Have I said it already?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby,
I love you.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Bye,
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