December 12, 2024 • 54 mins
Blakely Thornton, acclaimed “pop culture anthropologist” and close friend to Brandon joins to tell everyone some real tea on the Messy submissions this week. Then, Brandon and Blakely deep dive into the queer experience, masking and fitting into "diverse" spaces.
Allow me to reintroduce myself:
https://brandonkylegoodman.substack.com/p/allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself
https://www.instagram.com/p/DDFcqjny__5/?igsh=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA%3D%3D&img_index=1
You can find Blakely on IG @blakelythornton
Follow Brandon on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandonkylegoodman
Join the C'Heauxmunity at https://brandonkylegoodman.substack.com/
Submit your own messy story or question at TellMeSomethingMessy@gmail.com or call (669) 696-3779
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I say, like, I'm in therapy and so I'm trying
to be healed, but like I love the opportunity for
emotional vampirism of you not being healed. So like you're
like I burn it down.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm feeding off of this.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Burn it down.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You're a toxic burn it down. You know what we
do here destroy shame around sex by talking about sex. Now,
let me tell you something messy. So I was at
the gym, and you know, in the gym, everyone is
very it's fun funny to me that everyone's very demure,
(00:36):
if you'll allow me the terminology. They very shy about
having you know, their dicks out. Understandably, there's like a
listen it reeks a little bit of homophobia or whatever,
like no one's checking you out, baby. But I was
putting my stuff away in the locker and this guy
walked by me. He got changed and when I look
(00:56):
back over, he was in his boxers. Now, if you
know me, you know I love underwear. So no matter what,
I'm checking out underwear, not in a sexual way, just
because I really do like to see the cut and
you know, see what people you know, vibe with or
or gravitate towards.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
So he's in.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Boxer briefs or maybe they're trunks. What are the difference between briefs?
Briefs are not loose, right, trunks are they They're like
the they're like they go to like down the thigh
a little bit, but they're tighter. I think that's what
trunks are. So's he's wearing his box or trunks and
I and then he I swear it again, not sexually,
but he does bend over to pick up something, and
(01:33):
I notice that there is a hole in the back,
not a hole, but like a purpose not like a
not a rip hole, but uh, you know, a purposeful hole.
It looks like the pea hole. And I was like, oh, wow,
are these like sexy underwear? Like is that He's like?
Is that like a peekable home for sex? So bold
(01:53):
and which is listen. I don't put it past anyone
because there are guys who wear jock straps to the gym,
which that's different conversation, but I do. For me, jockstraps
are like a sexy thing. So if you were to
the gym where you know you're gonna be changed in
front of people. To me, I'm like, what you try
to what you're trying to get into daddy anyway. So
I was like, oh, my goodness, he has like a
little peckaple hole in the back of his box. Thirst
(02:14):
that's wild, And then I realized it was it was
it was actually he was wearing them backwards. I don't
know if he like didn't feel that, because I would
feel that. But also it made me go two things. One,
should we start merch where we have underwear that has
like a little pikaboo in the back so that you know,
when you're getting sexy, you lay on your stomach and
(02:37):
then your partner just wetches a little pee hole open
and licks your booty hole.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But the other thing I would like to say is
the underwear ugly. That's really like they were not attractive underwear.
I would never say this to this young gentleman because
that's not you know, you know, that's not helped. They
always say, if you can't change something in ten seconds,
if somebody can't change a thing about them whatever you're
(03:05):
commenting on in ten seconds, don't tell them. So you know,
you don't be like, hey, your hair, I don't your
hair color, I don't love it. Because they can't change
that in ten seconds. So this underwear he couldn't change
because he's at the gym. He only got the one pair.
So I would never say, sir, your underwear it's ugly. Also,
what a wild way to start a conversation at a
locker room anyways, but it just made me go, hey,
(03:26):
I just think that men should really invest in underwear.
That's really what this all is about. I think it's okay.
I don't know who needs to hear this, especially like
straight men or gay men who really love and value
their masculinity or whatever that is. Hey, your underwear can
be sexy, babe, Like you can invest in your underwear.
(03:49):
You can invest in your socks, you know what I'm saying.
And also you have to update and refresh your underwear
and your socks every so often. Honestly, I would say
like every six months, please at least every year, because
you know, your underwear, your socks, these are things that
are directly on your body and they get tingy and
(04:10):
you deserve, baby, You deserve clean, fresh, nice, beautiful sexy undergarments.
Undergarments that feels so dated, but but you know what
I'm saying, you deserve that. So I just want to
encourage y'all to look up some sexy underwear. This was
(04:32):
by the one that he was wearing, and I did
take notice because again I love underwear. It was a
Joe Boxer moment. Would shout out to Joe Boxers. I
don't know where you get them, but like shout out
to that brand. But this particular this particular color and
cut was not was not the vibe. So maybe maybe
(04:56):
Joe Boxer wants to do a collaboration and I can
support you and making sexy underwear because everybody deserves sexy
underwear like that is not just like a woman thing
or like a bottom thing. Everybody deserves sexy underwear. So
to the straight men listening, the three of you go
(05:17):
get you some sexy underwear. Okay, okay. Oh by the way,
welcome to the show. This is tell me something messy.
I am your host, Brandon Kyle Goodman aka Messy Mother.
You can call me whatever you want, but today maybe
call me peek a boo hole. My god, that's when
I have my husband call me when I get back home. Okay,
(05:38):
peek a boo hole come here. Okay. So before we
get into our guest for the day. I do have
a little life update. You might have seen it on Instagram,
or if you follow me on subsack, you might have
read about it. But let me also say it here
on the pod, I am, as you already know, I'm
non binary. But I had been using he, him and
(06:00):
they them pronouns, but now I am exclusively using they
them their's pronouns again. On subsack, I wrote a whole
little essay why, and on Instagram there's a whole announcement.
So I'll let you find it there for more information,
or we'll also put it in the show notes. We'll
put the link to both of those things in the
show notes. But what that does mean is from time
(06:23):
to time for the next couple months. Actually, because we've
recorded quite a number of episodes, you may hear guests
refer to me still with him pronouns. It's just because
we recorded all those episodes before I decided to go
to them exclusively. So I just want you to know that,
just a little heads up so you're not feeling like
(06:44):
somebody is misgendering or that it's a foosball moment. Okay, beautiful,
all right? Uh, doorbell maybe you know what that means.
It is time for a guest. Now, while they get situated,
we'll get our messy. Key key started with the whole man.
Do repeat after me aloud or in your head. Grant
(07:04):
me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal,
the wisdom to know that sex is not just about penetration,
the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries. The
strength to not call my ex that fuck boyfuck girl,
or fuck they, for it is better to masturbate by
myself in peace than to let someone play in my
(07:25):
motherfucking face. Let the community say holuvia. I am so
excited to have Blakely Thornton on this show. Blakelee is
a brilliant pop culture anthropologist, and his sharp and funny
takes on celebrity culture, fashion, etc. Never misses. In twenty
twenty three, he created an executive produced a series called
(07:47):
Queer Sports for Vice News, and he's now in development
of a podcast called Immediately Know about the Power of
personal boundaries. You can catch him covering the met Gala
red carpet for Instagram, amongst many other exciting developments. Blakely
has completed brand partnerships with Arewon, Jessica mccurmac and Neutrient Ginet. Y'all,
please welcome Blakely to the show. Hi, blake Lee, Hello,
(08:10):
welcome to the show. I'm so happy you're here. I
feel like when I when I'm saying I need guests,
were like, which guests should I have? People always said Blakely,
want to see Blakely and Brandon.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I feel like this is like the synergy because like,
I'll talk shit immediately. Remember when we did the Goho
See and they wouldn't put us together?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I do.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I was like, this is what the whites are doing.
I was like, they want to type because I was
so excited. I was like, he will get me.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
We would have a thing.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
We'll be going back.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And Ryan was also there, Ryan slay God. Ryan was
also like they never put us together.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
They never put They put one negro at a time,
one day negro. We can't have two because if it
was to the kikey would be it would just be
called the Kiki.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Absolutely. Wait, okay, so before we get in, I would
love to give you the messy mandates for our messy
key key. I love that things get to be unprocessed.
Any thoughts or opinions. Dared get to have the right
to evolve, shift, or change today, tomorrow or ten years
from now. As we were talking about the internet is
about now, but podcast nuance evolution, and during the key key,
(09:10):
if something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use
the safe word foosball gives us a chance to pause
and address or pivot accordingly. Got it, you got it? Okay,
cool man. So let's play a lube breaker. Okay, you ready? Yes,
smash her pass? Okay, the Real Housewives. Oh, I know
I didn't give you. I didn't give you a city,
(09:32):
but let's start with just the Real Housewives. Smash or pass,
Smash smash.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Honestly, it's anthropological interesting. Okay, yeah, is there a favorite
city New York?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Really? The new one or the old one? Let's talk
about it, come on both.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
The old one got too racist. It absolutely becomes decrepit.
It's like it was actually a case study in how
someone can be entertaining but also like almost Trump is
and like Ramona Singer is a racist and a Trump
or she knows this, yes, but it's like, oh, she's funny,
and I think adding Ebony a black woman kind of
just roid the cognitive uncomfortable season, so they couldn't like
they were like, oh, this is what happens when like
(10:06):
you integrate, which is like why they were avoiding it
for so long. But then the New New York they
got the lesbian soft less Yeah, black girls like black girls,
you know, like you get a car, you get a car,
you get a car.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
They're like, here's here's the United Colors of benefit.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
And in the second season they're coming into their messiness.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Okay, smash or pass boxer briefs.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Wait, are they moisture wiking material or cotton?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Get out of my studio, nigga, get out of my studio.
I don't know what do you want them to be?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Baby cotton boxer briefs pass moisture wicking like under armour
and moisture wicked oysture wicking like like you got minformance material.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
That leaves chocolates. I don't eat those pieces are for pores.
Get your credit, Get your credits a moisture wit and
eight fifty. I want to gear a Deli's chocolate bitch.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Bitch, there you go say it, imperial.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I can't spell gear Deli, so.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I pass on boxer briefs. I want, I want to
I want a jockstrap on a throng. I want a brief,
but a boxer brief. It is just so loose.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
See, that's why you need the moisture wicking. They stay
tight if it's the right material, the cotton ones. Is
that not trunks? No?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
No boxer briefs oister wicking.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yes, Like like like what do they feel like?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
They feel like this placement? What they feel like?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
They feel like it's almost like a spandex like underarmoor
like that, like the tight stuff on like a shirt,
but a brief made a boxer brief made of that?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Is it compression?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yes, compression, a boxer compression.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Something loose. I want something that shows.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Exactly a boxer compression short.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You would like that, Okay, I'm gon google this.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You have a phone on moisture, moisture wick Y, moisture,
win last one, smash sure pass masks I'm talking about
like sex mask like like anonymous masks.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Like I'm not into it. Okay, I respect those for
other people, but i feel like I've experienced them a
couple of times and it's just like it makes for awkward,
like talk afterwards. Whom I'm talking to, what's happening here?
Or like you're obviously you're married with kids and you
live in Mexico City, but like.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Just like I'm not gonna take a picture.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I'm not gonna tell me about it. Yeah, let me know.
Come on, but do you drop the pen. I'm kind
of a pass on the masks of it all. It
looks hot, That's why it looked like one. I sweat easy, lazy,
so I just took called my cardigan so I sweat easily.
And then also, like if I can't see your face,
I don't know even if I trust you, I want
(12:45):
trust you. It's a suspicion.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You're wearing a mask.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You're wearing a mask exactly. I want to know what's happened. Also,
I get turned on. I'm such a face person. I
get turned on by a good, beautiful smile, and I
feel like the mask I used to see it smile,
but it doesn't. That's creepy.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
That's very like, it's very Ryan Murphy. Yes, I bet
money he's in damasks.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Blakely, You're right, okay, well fabulous, you won you know
what you're wearing here my unconditional love. You did look
down like you were looking for some money. What you
about to show me my unconditional love? Baby, that's more important. Yeah,
thank you, and I'm knowing that. Thank you. Some people
don't appreciate. Okay, y'all, If you have any loop breakers
(13:34):
or prompts, you can email me at tell me something
messy at gmail dot com. Speaking of which lately, yes,
will you tell me something messy? I don't know why
instead of like that that was creepy again, blakely, tell
me something messy.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Okay, I'll say something messy. Yeah, this is interesting for
me just logistically. I had a friend who we went
to Palm Springs from Oilden last year and he met
this couple and he said they really wanted to eat
pineapple out of his ass. Oh, and like that, logistically
that's messy because I was just out of his ass
and yet yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Not on it, but like I wanted to put the
pineapple okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And then again exactly I had questions like is it chopped?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Chunk? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Are we cutting them? Like little dick?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I was just asking questions because I was like, okay,
So even logistically, like did you go in there? They
had a bowl chopped and ready. Yes, scus was it.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
A surprise fresh pineapple?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Fresh? The whole foods was an airworm.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I want to talk about it as a from Trader Joe.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Like I had. I was just like I need you
to draw me a diagram at a time, like like
storyboard this. Ye.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, so that was. Have you ever had anyone eat
pineapple out of your air or anything out of your
Have you eaten anything out of anyone else's ass?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yes, well not out of but on it. Yeah obviously
again I'm an adult.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What did you eat?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
It was like the standard like strawberries and cream stuff? Wow, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Kind of cream like a whip cream.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Like a whip cream, like a cool Actually was cool.
Get out of.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
The cool whip Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Wait what's the one?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Oh look at that voice. Sultry? Okay, it was sultry
then too. Wait walk me through strawberries and cream?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Does?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Okay? So walk me through? Yes, how is the person?
They're on their stomach, on their back.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
On stomach, stomach, stomach, booty up, bowl of strawberries to
the side like they were prepared. Okay, so they brought
this something he wanted.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh he wanted, yeah, okay, and so then.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So what kind of just like chop strawberry up on
the bootyhole? Rugoff, you know, okay, and where does the
cream come in later lately?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Take me to that time when it comes in.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
The strawberry was actually more of like a delivery tool
for the cream. So you dip the strawberry in the
cream on the bootyhole and then you eat it house seed,
not out again. It never went in and out. I
it was just a roll of power to everybody. But
once it's been in there, I don't want to all
the way. I don't really physically want to eat that
and digest it.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Got it? That's fair.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I mean that's for me. I mean that's your You
might call that prude. I just yeah, if you want
to make sure it's you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Still the booty hall, as you said, it's still.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
You know or exactly yeah, it's not my, it's not
my you know, I'm playing in away game.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh my god. Okay, Wow, that was really lovely sex education.
This is what we're doing. Okay, it's time for messy mail.
You want to sing this a little messy male theme song?
Because that sultry, messy.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Male is the one booties and mess man go.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Me in. Yes, okay, this one says, my my seituationship
misses me and is now willing to go on dates?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Do I trust them? Did you do you want to
go on dates? That's oh, it sounds like you do.
You wrote a letter about it. Oh you Aliah, you
wrote a papa. Yeah, but go But that's.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Actually t What you just said is actually important. It's like,
do you want to You're asked like somebody can ask
you out, but do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Also, if you're asking if their trustworthy, maybe it's like
he's going to steal my credit.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
My feeling is if you are asking if you trusted,
you shouldn't know your intuition. Now your intuition has you
right in to ask if you should go on a date,
and do you trust it?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Feel like it's giving the goodness to your social security.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, it's giving identity for aud and.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So honestly do it for the story. For the story.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh my goodness, because it's.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Not gonna hurt me. So I say dealing yes and
jump in that pool.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
And tell us what it's like. Now, let me ask
you this do you do things for the story. What's
the last thing you did for this story? Oh, you
don't have to tell us, but you could. But you
don't have to, but if you want to, it's a foosball.
I just don't know if he listens to podcast, Oka saying,
I don't know if he listens to podcast. Okay. This
(18:26):
one says, going on a date with my ex's friend,
hoping to have a messy time. Have you ever.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I'll have done that? We come on, have we all?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We've gone on a date with your exis friend. You're
looking at me like.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You apostrophe period period? You know you have have I negro.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I have definitely fucked somebody's Yeah, yeah, come on, but
it was just sex. It wasn't okay, okay, it wasn't
like a full day. It is a date messay. Actually
a date is message. I feel a date. It's messy
because it's like emotional.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Actually, I love this person. You're like an unhealed scorpio.
I say, like, I'm I'm in therapy and so I'm
trying to be healed, but like I love the opportunity
for emotional vampirism of you not being healed. So like
you're like, I'm burning it down. I'm feeding off of this,
burn it down. You're toxing, But I love that burn
it down. I'm not in my own life, but if
(19:26):
I mean this is feeding my soul.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
We love the mess.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
This is twenty twenty two. Give me, give me some self, honey,
let's start fires and fights. I actually got it started
to fight at your birthday party in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You did that. Literally, what are you'all fighting about?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I just cust him out. I don't even know why.
It is something stupid And I was like, well, I
buy that, But it was just like I was on
the right amount of are you harry Scorpio?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Would scorpio scorpios? I have arias and scorpio and my
ears and scorpio.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It's something and I was just ready to go off.
You said it, yeah, not today, Satan, and I did it?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Would you do today?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Though?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Twenty twenty four?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
No at all? Like who truly? Therapy work?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Therapy does work. I would have been like me, okay,
yes see therapy, that's a real girl.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Why am I going to fuck up my night?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Why will I fuck up my night over you?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But I see what I might do is if I like,
if I knew he was allergic to something, I might
like mildly poison cut that cut that.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Cut that uh, not like deadly deadly, but like a
little like you know, a little bloated.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, or or like you know, like you're lack some
tolerant I put like whole milk in your coffee.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
That's not light at all. Yes, it is that nigga
will be diarrhea but not dead. Okay, this one says
I visited family, I couldn't host this beautiful man, so
we fucked all over the building stairwell. I mean, I
guess fabulous.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Wait, people, I need more details.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I know they don't be giving me a lot all
the details, like.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
What kind of building? Where is it? Is it a brownstone?
Is it a doorman building.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I'm imagining I'm imagining it's not a doorman building because
it's too much security. It's like a regular building, like
a regular party.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I know, because you could go into like the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Oh sure, they're in the stairwell. I've seen those videos
on only Fans where niggas are fucking in the stairwell
and it really I mean, it's hot, but also like
I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I couldn't just logistically, I don't have that energy.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I don't. I can't pull my pants.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Also your family yeah, also your family in the building too, Yeah,
like your little cousin or maybe they fucked.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
In a different building, like no, we fuked all over
the building stairwell never mind, Yeah, with their families building.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You don't like your family.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I mean, also, why couldn't you host them?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Honestly, this is giving the families home of phobe fair
like vengeance.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well also, like, even if your family is like pro homo,
would you still bring a man off a grinder back
to that Christmas vacation?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh, this is a grinder house. I'm assuming I was
thinking like Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well, I mean I don't know a visiting family, so
I'm assuming it could be a holiday and so like
you're back at your home. Oh my god, I literally.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Thought, like, this is a person you liked in your family?
Was homophobias?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh you went there?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
No, no, no, I think they I think they were
just a visiting family and they couldn't have somebody in
their you know, childhood bedroom, and so they were sucking
the stairwell.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, okay, I mean not at this it's fine you do.
I would not.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I'd be like, you know what, those stairs are hard knees.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Also, I'm more I'm more interested in the person that
said yes to this. Well. It's like I can't, but
I can sucking the stair with my mom in the theother.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Room, Like why don't you say? I think you leave
that fart off? But I fuck you in the stairwell.
I feel like that's a kink, right. Public play? Have
you ever had public play?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I fucked an alleyway once. I feel like, if you're
near a gay bar, it's.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Not really like if you're a hot dog Sunday or
it's like, okay, you're like you're feeling yourself that day,
but like nobody's gonna I don't think anybody's gonna take
a picture.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, public play would be at Target, which is like, yeah,
that seems.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Big box stores, yeah, fast food chain, casual.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yes. But if you Chick fil A, I'm actually for you.
Gay sex a Chick fil A. That's that's radical, that's protests,
that's protests. I'm actually I call that a du oh wow,
doula peep.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
God bless her. Yeah, God bless her learning to dance.
Kind of Yeah, she did it, did she?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And this is why they.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Didn't put us together on that show. I'm gonna really,
I'm gonna. I had so much contempt for them, but
they really saw something I did.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
They were like, no, you can't, this is we won't
get through the show. Okay, this one said. The throuble
ended because we caught our third cheating with his ex.
His ex has a husband, So I told him, this.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Is wait, whoa, you're an asshole. You're an asshole? Whoever?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
This is thule ended because we caught our third cheating
with his ex X has a husband, So I told him,
told the oh told the.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Exes husband, you're an asshole. That's your Okay, that's that's homophobic.
That's homophobic.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
That's yeah, you're not for the cause.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That'shobic. That's a little too far your business. Also, like,
you're in kind of a polyamer a situation you're in.
If you're calling someone your third, then you're tearing them down.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
You're in a higher ARCA.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You didn't say one of the people did this, Y
said our third, which means you're an asshole, which control free.
I don't like you. I don't like your face, I
don't like your aura, I don't like anything that self
hating gay you a messy bit, and I invite you
to fight me.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Inviting someone to fight you is wowd meet.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Me into Mecula, Meet me into Mecula, bitch.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
If I can say this, if you ever get an
invitation to fight, don't take it like that person. I'll
kill you exactly, exactly exactly. If somebody says I invite
you to fight, run.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Run a man. If a gay man from Texas invites
you to meet him into Mechula on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
He baby, he's gonna fight you, fight you, well, I
would say I'm angree with which is I I hate
that the third well, let's call him the the person
that rounds out your throatle. I hate that they cheated
on you, But I also don't think that telling the
ex's husband is so hurtful.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
It just felt like, let's mess up everybody. Yeah, let's
mess up everybody ship, Like why why didn't you confront
the third person?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The third person? And also like, I don't know if.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
You're sleeping with your ex or confront the x and
maybe he went to his ex because you treat him
like a fucking third.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
So so blakely'st meet you into Maculam. I love that
Blakely is gonna tell you the crimes on the vodcast.
We're gonna turn this legend allegedly allegedly, and then we'll
do a follow up episode when we turn this pod
into a crime pot.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Also, I would like shooting Gatwa to play me in
the Menaz Brother's remake of it.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
How dare you? Ryan? Are you listening?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
It needs to be highly homorized.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Please just shooting if there's not anything happening. I don't
I'm not gonna fight.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
This person in a speedo, but when Ryan films it,
I would like shooting in those thighs. Yes, and oh,
I don't know why I would have a speed that
makes no sense.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Not those boxer breaks. Never need to Ryan Murphy shows anyways.
This one said, oh, and this one will be we
can have a real key key This says. I want
to connect more in gay spaces, but find it hard
because I tend to talk about things that maybe are
too deep, and everyone seems to just want to talk
about partying or working out. It sounds cliche, but it's
(27:22):
been my experience. We're supposed to be such a liberated community.
Why do so many gay men not like to talk
about their feelings, especially around relationships and sex like a
like a light.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I love this person that had some they had some
subject verb agreement. Come on, you know, there were people,
places and things. I really set to see that.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, respond vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I think it's interesting. I actually find myself confronting this
a lot too. I think it's the fact that being
queer in and of itself is an identity for better
or for worse, that is rooted in risk or rejection
from family, from friends, for identity. So I feel like
we all it's almost cellularly encoded in us to avoid
that in our adult lives or avoid that feeling which
(28:09):
is very which is very similar. So I feel like
we talk about partying or fun or sex, but when
it comes to like deepness and emotions and identity, we
have to like announce ourselves to the public, which is
still a thing. So it's like it's that's that's something
we don't we have to we risk that exposure just
to be ourselves. And I think once we get over
that hump, we don't want to then go deep and
examine the why of it all.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, yeah, I feel like when you're so when I
think about, you know, gay spaces and you know, listen,
my experience with gay spaces is very much limited to
Los Angeles and New York, which I will one hundred
percent say is very different than my experiences when I've
gone to even like a San Francisco or or something
(28:51):
yeah or yes, or to Madrid. But my experience there particularly,
I'll say in LA is that I feel like a
bunch of gays left their towns, descended upon a big city.
They left those towns, many of us, probably because you
experienced rejection or bullying or oppression of some kind. And
now you're in this free space, but you don't know
(29:13):
how to claim reclaim your power. And so your power
actually comes from posturing, exactly, from holding and from not
being vulnerable, and that or that's how you feel your
power comes from, yes, And so then it becomes hard
to connect with people on deeper subjects outside of you know,
how many salads you eat a day, because the healing
(29:36):
has therapy has exactly, the healing hasn't happened.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
People don't want to examine the why. Yeah, I'm a
very curious person. I always say like, I'm the boy
that like never gets invited to like the orgy or
the group sex, and like what are we doing? Are
we all having sex right now? Like I'm down for it?
I need to like know what's going on? Yes. And
I often think because I came out like kind of
late and I played college football, that I read nonverbal
cruising as violence. When you were like look at me,
(30:00):
I'm like, what the fuck do you want?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Then it could be like absolutely could be like it could.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So I never gained that skill because I didn't have
it in my late teens early twenties. I was just like, oh,
you want to fight? Yes, But yeah, I just think
it's about like nobody wants to examine the why because
I don't think we want to experience any further judgment.
I think I'm all. I think being open and queer.
It's about like constant communication. I think you're so good
at it, Like Messy, there's actually a deeper feeling and
(30:27):
meaning to Messy Mondays, which is living authentically you and
knowing why you are here. We are without shame, And
I think that's kind of like your brand, even though
it's funny and it's pithy. But I think, you know,
if somebody says like, oh, I like I took no
ten dicks at the Eagle, I'm like, why was that fun?
And people they implied judgment on that, but I'm like, no,
I just want to know why, like, and I don't
think that person has I think often when people reject that,
(30:49):
it's because they haven't examined it. Yes, and I think
that there's often that there's a there's an excitement shame
spial with our behavior. Instagram has created body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You know it's like there's always someone better, there's always
someone more interesting. I've been to these pool parties where
it's all these bros that are on cycles or like
you see these kids way to party and people like
go in the back to like do kedemineum, like we
know you're doing drugs. We're adults, just do drugs and bumbody.
I know. It's just a weird thing of like hiding
the behavior that we know you're doing. If there's a
(31:19):
cognitive dissonance there where I was like, there's one kids
like you want some rooms? I was like, no, thank you,
But I like you for just coming up and asking
a normal human being.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Which actually in some ways creates more trust because I
know what's happening here exactly, I can trust. But the
hiding is because there's not a trust, which, if you
really think about it, is kind of built into our
our queer DNA. We've had to have a hyper awareness
and couldn't always trust our surroundings, and so that kind
of continues even.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
In our Even in queer spaces, you skip the steps.
It's like you go to a party and you're like, oh,
there's an orgy going on upstairs. No one said anything, Yeah,
no one's no one's telling you they're going and coming back, right,
it's just happening, yes. And I think it's because it's
like there's the open, there's the public self, and then
there's like the desire which we kind of there's an
internal shame that nobody is speaking about where somebody I
wish there were people woul being like the Orges at
(32:08):
two thirty, there's where you can shout yes, I'd be like,
oh that's the vibe. I'm like cool, the drugs are
in this room. The in this room, yes, Like people
have written on their cup like what they like. You
can go and talk to them, or you can just
come and drink and smoke weed and like listen to music. Yes,
like there are levels of the party.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Those are the best parties to me where which are
very rare, but when they when they've been curated, where
it's like here's sweed and here's the drinks and your
cup color means there's your level. Choose your level, choose
your ya baby right, Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
I'm like because sometimes I'm like I come in and
I went to a party again Memorial Day and they
were like, oh, we had a human centipede last night,
and I was like, I thought this cent people was
like a place. I was like, oh a bar, Oh
it's a bar. I'm like, oh no, I don't. I
don't know. I'm like, that's not for me. But I
love that you guys did that. Yes, I love that
you were interested in it because for me, like, that's
just logistics getting on my knees ten people in a circle.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
That sounds like a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Did somebody today who did? I don't want to be
behind that, Like, those are the questions I would have,
which is why I'm never going to end up there.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
I'm just like, who ate who didn't? Who didn't? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Who do I trust in this? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
The bottle of butts?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
That's t But I think what you brought up, you know,
like if you do have the the you know, the
the gang bang or the train or the human centipede,
do you know why? And it's not that you always
have to interrogate, but I think it's people some people
never And it's not that it's bad right now, it's fabulous,
But are you doing it for your pleasure or you
(33:44):
doing it to numb out?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Are you doing it for your pleasure because you want
to or because you think it's how you're supposed to be.
Something I come up against with gay men specifically, is
people expressing that they feel like they have to be
this kind of gang yes, which is a gay that
is just truly promiscuous and something that moves, and they
feel weird about needing a little more emotional connection exactly.
(34:06):
And it's like, no, like both of those things are correct,
you just kind of have to know why, you're Like, I've.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dealt with that and like kind of like I love
the rejection of heteronormativity, but I also think it comes
to it can metastasize into people just doing whatever the
fuck they want and being kind of selfish. Yes, because
I feel like, okay, cool, if you can be we
can be ethically no monogamous. But if I want to
know for my safety and you don't want to tell me, okay,
that's that. Let's discuss why.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And people are like, no, you're judging me. No, I'm not.
I'm just saying, like, I want to know, just because again,
I'm a scorpio, I'm a fucking water side, Like I
don't want to get embarrassed. And we're going out in
public and you're having sex somebody I don't you're having
sex with.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, I'm curious, And I also I know that I
know how.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
To interact with that person. I'm not going to go
punch them. But I'm like, I'm aware, so I'm not
blindsided by something. And I think people want to do
the thing without saying anything. They want to fulfill whatever
need they have impulsively with themselves, without explaining themselves or
without any kind of like care for the other person,
especially when your relationships. I was dating somebody and I
(35:08):
was like, we're not we're not together. But I had
moved from LA to New York and I or New
York to LA, and I didn't have my prep and
I was like, okay, well for the for the time being,
could you like use a condom when you have these
other people? And they're like no, And I was like okay.
But I was like okay. I literally just said, just
like okay, that hurts my feelings. But I get it,
like because I'm like, we're not together. But I was like,
why are you mad? Like I don't like what you're
(35:29):
saying is the opportunity, the opportunity to have sex unprotected
with other people is more important to you than the relationships.
The relationship, Like no, it's what I was saying, Like, no,
that's literally what you're saying, and that is okay, sure,
And I think I think that's the thing too, is
we're all invested in the idea of ourselves being good people.
You can do something that hurts someone's feelings and still
(35:49):
be okay, but you have to recognize that what you
want might hurt someone's feelings.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I think that's so interesting. Interesting Is that the right word?
But there's a lot of juice there because I'm so
curious about kind of like the shadow of self, because
you know, I do want to be a good person
and my highest self. I'm always evolved, I never fight,
you know, but I'm also human. Yeah, we're also human,
(36:16):
and so that is kind of the hard part is
knowing that you might make a mistake or you might
do something that hurts somebody, and so how do you
hold yourself accountable? How do you show up as opposed
to walling off or running away or gas lighting or
making other person wrong. Being able to understand, oh, I
have a misstep here, or like I made a mistake
or I did something that hurts somebody's feelings. I can
(36:38):
say I'm I say this to my boyfriend all the time,
Like I'm not afraid of saying I'm sorry. Yeah, like
I used to be, and like now it's like it
comes for free, Like I'm okay with also obviously the
change behavior. Yeah, but I think it's like reckoning with
your shadow side. That's like, oh, I will make mistakes
and I will do something that might disappoint you or
hurt you. In fact, that is a relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Adding people avoid that feeling so much that it creates
more toxic behavior. They want to avoid the fact that
they hurt you so much, and they will gaslight, deny
the reality, reframe it into something that is completely different,
and like, I did this that hurts your feelings. I'm sorry.
It's very very simple. We learn it when we're in kindergarten.
(37:19):
But like the ability of adult men and adult gay men,
especially in major cities to do it seems to be
somewhat regressing.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well, you know what's I think interesting about that or
why that's connected to is is gay men are not
exempt from being men, right, And I think that sometimes
and like I'll talk about I think white men especially
suffer from this where it's like, because you're gay, you
think that you haven't been socialized as a man, and
a lot of men socialized do not have a connection
(37:51):
to their emotions exactly, Like we're just not exactly societally
raised to connect with your emotions. But you think, I'm
gonna say you lot, but we think that if we're
gay or queer, suddenly we're evolved. Yeah, and it's like, no,
not quite. You still have a lot of that male
socialization that hasn't been interrupted, and so you you're just
(38:14):
showing up toxically. It's like the emotional top.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's like the emotional version of like everybody always saying
gays are stylish when they just like they really justs
wear tighter clothes. Yes, like if you've been to high
Tops on a Sunday, we're not the most.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Stylist baby world. If you look around everyone's and of
the guilty of this. It's a crop top and a
white sneaker.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Exactly, And you know it's not like we have a uniform,
but it's not necessarily chic. Yes, yes, but going back
to emotions, I completely agree you've been socialized as a man,
and I think I would say even more so. White
gay men are not aware of their privilege in terms
of like, oh, no, you've lived life with the of
a cis white man. But for this one thing, yes,
(38:53):
and that comes with a lot of that comes with
you not having to interrogate yourself on the level that
somebody who is a minority does, or alone somebody who
is trans does level one, somebody who is a combination
of those, yes.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Or even like yeah, you're you know, even I think
a femme white boy might experience a little wake up.
But that but that femininity. Piece of it too, is
that these.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Like you know, Chicago KPMG bankers who are one eighties
and five eleven with dirty blonde hair, think they're like
evolved because they suck a dick. It's not this not
the case, Brian.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
And I hear Brian, we need to say that out loud.
I think I think it's what's interesting is we uh
is hiding is avoiding. That is avoiding saying that, avoiding
looking directly at that and saying, oh, you have work here,
your shadows side, you have work here to do as well.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
It's a It's interesting also in these career spaces, and
I always say, like I think I've talked to you
maybe like Vincent about it. Like when we go to
a party and like the only black people there are
like mildly famous. That's a red flag for me. Yeah,
that's a fucking red flag for me. I go somewhere
and it's only like you, Vincent, a little nase and
you're just.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Like, we gotta run, absolutely get out. Absolutely. I I
one hundred percent agree because it's like, oh, one, why
am I the minority in this space? That's not really
quite making sense, And just gently interrogating like what are
these spaces and where am I showing up? And why
am I showing up? And what why are we showing up?
(40:21):
And what are the experiences the other black people in
these spaces are having? And I'm curious when you and
we may not be able to know, but like, if
you see that house and there are three only three
black guys, and you know twelve white guys, and the
three black guys are especially beautiful, what do you think
is happening in their head?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I think I think one the black experience and the
black gay experience is on a monolith, sure, depending on
what the way you grew up, depending on the way
you identify and your value system. I think there are
certain black people that crave inn adjacency to whiteness and
that and they think that validates them in some way.
And you'll find that in the way they speak and
the people they date, and the things they in, the things,
(41:00):
the things they say about other black men, and they
are willing to say in a white space because I'll say,
I'll yell, i'll yeo, we got forty five minutes, I
get to see another Negro where I'm leaving. I literally
did this yeah. I was like, and they can't be famous. Yes,
that does not count. And I'll say that and if
you're like, also that to my white friends and they'll
be like tea, Like I'm yeah, Like that's the test.
(41:22):
Like if I say that shit to you and you're
like like, then you don't really get it.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
But I think with the like I was at a
pool party and it was like maybe two of us
and then literally fourty five minutes they were just came
and I was like, we gotta go. That doesn't count.
We leave it. We believe right now that we said
not famous. Yes, But there was one other boy there
and it was just giving, like he is giving, he
was there for work. The way the man was talking
to him was like like like it was a controlling
(41:47):
of the body. I see that too, and I wonder
it's like, oh, do you just want access to this
space fiscally? Do you think you're going to gain something?
And that also affects the way people talk to you,
because I've had older white men talk to me like that,
like I looked about your clothes. I'm like, well, I
work in fashion. I can give them for fucking free.
You're talking to you and I think it's coded in
the way they approach the relationship. They're like, oh, I'm
(42:10):
older and white and you're younger and black, so I
can talk to you as such, or they talk to
you like you're an object.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
That's always I tend yes, well, especially and I'm going
to market to their to the generational too. Yeah, but
like the way that an older white man, old white
men have spoken to me, it's always curious.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
And I blow it up immediately. I'm just like, I
was like, I'm not spoken to you like that. Do
not call me boy contextual that, And I was like,
I'm also like, I'm very aware of being like hyper sexualized.
If you're going to come at me like as an
older Caucasian man, you to come at me mentally, you
need to be like I remember things about my day,
about my preferences, talk to me especially like a person.
(42:50):
But I'm like if you're like, oh, but I'm like, nope,
if everything's about the body, if everything's about giving you
a nude and like, no, the.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Moment I hear I love that black dick, I'm out. Oh,
I'm out the moment somebody highlights my skin or I'm
out blocked like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I think what's so what is so confounding.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Confounding or or tintillating about all of this is that
one there's so much nuance, and what we don't talk
about is there so much pain. So even to me
for the two black guys that that always are at
the party with the white boys or the white boys
trying to be extra mask and particularly they don't watch
(43:35):
Drag Race all of it, I'm like, there's so much pain. Yeah,
there's so much desire to be normal, to fit in,
and so much energy being spent on that, which is
why there isn't the ability to go deep because there's
so much time being spent on.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
But I think you hit it on the nail. People
are avoiding pain. Yeah, they're avoiding like the thing they're
avoiding talking about is the thing that makes them feel
rejected or shameful in some sense, and that to substance
is like it's really just the blanket state will be
internalized homophobia. I don't want drag race, but I'm still
I'm a bro. I'm gonna dude, I'm not that kind
of gay.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I'm not that gay.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I'm not You don't do that like I'm just like
a brother, like Dick, I'm like, what what what Max
Mappien is?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
That was a straight man? Shut up?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Like it's early people were like, oh, like I've had
a man be like, oh you pat your nails? Could
you not see that? In THEE It's different now, like
I'm sorry, it's the pink jail set today, but like, yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
I hate I also like I hate the mask for mask,
which you know, listen, I hate when people say preferences,
which I'll probably do an episode on what preferences are.
But it's like when you say that to me, I'm going, oh,
you're not actually curious, because where did your preferences come from?
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And also you're kind of about performance. Also, your sexuality
is performative, which means your sex will be bad.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
It's not pleasure for me now, it's about it's about
what this looks from mask.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
It's like, so you don't really you're never gonna truly
be in your body during sex, as you're more concerned
with maintaining heteronormative, misogynist version of what a man is,
which has no place in a bedroom where we're both sucking.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yeah, so we're already being radical. Why are you saying like,
you're already here.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
We've already dot, You're already here, baby, you already hear you,
Dick is hard, You're already here. There, We're both here,
you already you know. Yeah, Like I remember I had
attitude once. It was like he didn't want me to
like cross my legs when I sat and I was like,
I've been inside you.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
What are we talking? Like? What are we talking? That
policing of somebody else's mannerism, mannerisms of being feminine or masculine,
is also something that I feel like you obviously something
we learned from. Yeah, but but the fact that one
would hope in an ideal world that you would come
into queer spaces and be liberated of all of that,
exam able to show up how you are, in whatever
(45:53):
way you are. But instead there becomes more policing and
more and with the social media just kind of adds
to it.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I think some almost like commodifies, and I say, and
in the dark side of social media, it commodifies and flattens,
where the thing that rises at the top isn't necessarily
the most interesting and the most pleasurable. It's the thing
that like causes a knee jerk reaction. The fast is like,
you know, every dude having the same pose and the
Charlie by MZ Speedo, which we've all done. I'm like
he without saying, casts the first stone, but like, baby, it's.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Why I like whenever I see somebody, First of all,
if your nails are painted, or your toes are painted,
or you're not afraid to have a little makeup on,
or your look softly, I know you fuck. Like I'm like,
oh you're you're okay in your body exactly, okay with us,
so you fuck. It's when they're not even like the
most I always hands down, the more muscular they are,
the more of a bottom they are, like, the bigger whatever,
(46:45):
and the more masculine they look, I'm like that that's
the bottom. That's a they love dicking the ass. But
like there's but there's which is no problem with that.
It's just to me, the the presentation to try and
pretend like.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
Well, because they have the most arched back at all,
maybe protrude exactly, I'm like, that's not how like there's
a good posture, and there's like and then there's the
bottoms all the time, you know, yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
My I guess my last question. I lied. I have
two more questions are the questions that we asked everybody here. One. Yes,
have you ever had sex on a porter potty?
Speaker 1 (47:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Would you?
Speaker 1 (47:26):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Do you desire it at all?
Speaker 1 (47:28):
No? Waits time out. Okay, I was how's the porta potty?
Is it like a Coachella luxury porter potty where there's
a door, or this is like a blue porta potty?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
It could be either.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay, a luxury Coachella one that's kind of like a
comes on that trailer with the room. Yes, I need
air conditioning. I needed to be a motor in the back. Yeah,
I can't be having sex in like a steamy ass
like I can't. No, I don't know. I don't like
I've never liked anyone that much.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Maybe Jonathan Bailey, who's white. I'm sorry all that ship talking,
all that ship talking, all that therapy, and the way
that came up was a fucking colonizer. And I recognize,
and I recognize that I was being trafficked. You got
more healing to do, girl, It's okay, Wow, it's okay,
(48:14):
Jonathan Bailey, it was hot. I saw wicked yesterday. Also
that my god, how was it? It was?
Speaker 2 (48:20):
It was fucking great. I can't wait so good. I
can't wait to see our girl. And the uh last
question is what could you learn to love more about yourself?
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Oh? The fact that I'm actually really sensitive? I think
that's not I think there's a classic scorpio trait. But
like a lot of my bluster and my humor and
hubris and persona is about not feeling everything. But that's
really because I'm kind of at my core, like I
take every slight very seriously and kind of worry that
(48:50):
everybody hates me all the time. But I think it's
just like being like, oh it's not bad to feel
or be like that hurt my feelings. I like you this,
Like just being honest with it has actually made me better.
But it's that's a process I can fly back to,
like fuck you die.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, but you're a teddy bear, yes you know. I
would imagine also being sensitive being black man also tall
football player, like being allowed.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
To access thatself exactly, I think jour. I think being
I think being allowed allowing myself to access it and
also knowing when me accessing it in a healthy way.
Is being rejected by somebody because they don't like it,
you know what I mean. Like when I'm being and
I'm like, I'm expressing my feels, You're like, you're being
solf to that bit, She's like, no, I'm just telling
you how I felt. Yeah, you don't like to hear
(49:38):
that from me, But they're the problem, you don't. Yeah, exactly,
And that's a constant conversation.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah, I bet that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
You know, we're healing. We're healing, we're healing. Thank you
for being surviv You know, we are hoes here, but
(50:06):
hoes with heart. So let me speak to yours. I'm
actually gonna start with the last thing that Blakely said,
which is that he could learn to love more his sensitivity.
And that is just something you know, I've talked about
here on substack, on Instagram, anyone who will listen about
softness and allowing ourselves the opportunity to be soft and
(50:28):
allowing ourselves to understand the strength of that softness. But
the key piece that I want to take away from
Blakely is when you are soft, if it's not received,
it doesn't mean that your softness is bad. Or that
you were wrong for being soft, or you're wrong for
being sensitive, or you were wrong for being vulnerable. It
just means that that person wasn't able to hold it.
(50:51):
And that's okay. You know, sometimes people can't hold us.
But that's why we hold ourselves. And I don't mean
that in a way of like do it all yourself.
I mean that, like your community holds you, and you
build a community around you to hold you, but you
are also part of holding yourself. And so when you
meet somebody who isn't able to meet you there with love,
release them, you know, with love, you know they can.
(51:14):
Maybe they're just for movie dates, you know, maybe they're
just to talk about, you know, the surface level stuff
and they're not there for the tender stuff. And that
doesn't make them bad or you bad. But continue to
honor and hold your softness and your sensitivity. Also, you know, men, gay, men,
(51:35):
white gay In my Loves reflect, reflect, be not afraid
to poke at what is painful. Life is hard. I
know we want to avoid what's painful, but it actually
just makes us more harmful if we aren't aware of
(51:56):
the ways in which we are hurting. Hurt people, hurt people,
If we can't even say that we're hurting or acknowledge
the ways that we're hurting. Then we are inadvertently hurting
other people consciously or not intentionally or not. But the
impact is not good. So don't be afraid to reflect,
don't be afraid to poke at the pain. And you know, finally,
(52:21):
moisture wick boxer briefs are apparently all the rage, and
I'm gonna have to get my money up so I
can afford to buy a pair, because I don't know
where you find a moisture Like, what where do y'all
find moisture wick boxer briefs? And aren't boxer briefs supposed
to have loose anyways? I will find me a moisture
wick because y'all know I love an underwear situation. I'm
(52:42):
sure you've see me on my Instagram. I like to
I like to wear my underwears. But I'm gonna find
me a moisture wick boxer brief and I'm gonna report back,
and if I don't like it, we're gonna trash Blakely. Yeah,
have likely you hear this. I'm gonna come fight you.
I'm gonna come fight you, Okay, I'm gonna invite you
to fight me. Blakely, all right, I love y'all so much.
All Right, I gotta get out of here. But you
(53:03):
can find Blakely on Instagram at Blakelee Thornton t h
O r N t O N. You can find me
on Instagram as well at Brandon Kyle Goodman. You can
find our podcast at tell Me Something Messy, and you
can join our community on the Messy Monday's substack. When
you subscribe, you'll get weekly posts, recommendations on sex and
(53:24):
self and so much more. Also, I want to hear
from you, so send your topic ideas, your messy stories,
your submissions, your game ideas to tell Me Something Messy
at gmail dot com. You can also call us at
six six nine sixty nine Messy. That is six six
nine six nine six three seven seven nine. Rate review
(53:45):
and share this podcast with all your hoe and aspiring
HOE friends. Really really helps the show out, all right?
Until next time, ask about the politics of that dick
before you make it spit, make sure they eat the
kitty buffo day meet the before fuckcation or sucation communication.
And in case you haven't heard it yet, today you
(54:07):
are so deeply loved, I Love you, Hie. Thank you
so much for listening to Tell Me Something Messy. If
you all enjoyed the show, send me episode to someone
else who might like it. Tell Me Something Messy was
executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins, and Yours Truly.
Our producer and editor is Vince Dejohnny. For more podcasts
(54:28):
from iHeartRadio and the Outspoken Network, visit the iHeartRadio app
or anywhere you subscribe to your favorite shows.
I say, like, I'm in therapy and so I'm trying
to be healed, but like I love the opportunity for
emotional vampirism of you not being healed. So like you're
like I burn it down.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm feeding off of this.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Burn it down.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You're a toxic burn it down. You know what we
do here destroy shame around sex by talking about sex. Now,
let me tell you something messy. So I was at
the gym, and you know, in the gym, everyone is
very it's fun funny to me that everyone's very demure,
(00:36):
if you'll allow me the terminology. They very shy about
having you know, their dicks out. Understandably, there's like a
listen it reeks a little bit of homophobia or whatever,
like no one's checking you out, baby. But I was
putting my stuff away in the locker and this guy
walked by me. He got changed and when I look
(00:56):
back over, he was in his boxers. Now, if you
know me, you know I love underwear. So no matter what,
I'm checking out underwear, not in a sexual way, just
because I really do like to see the cut and
you know, see what people you know, vibe with or
or gravitate towards.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
So he's in.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Boxer briefs or maybe they're trunks. What are the difference between briefs?
Briefs are not loose, right, trunks are they They're like
the they're like they go to like down the thigh
a little bit, but they're tighter. I think that's what
trunks are. So's he's wearing his box or trunks and
I and then he I swear it again, not sexually,
but he does bend over to pick up something, and
(01:33):
I notice that there is a hole in the back,
not a hole, but like a purpose not like a
not a rip hole, but uh, you know, a purposeful hole.
It looks like the pea hole. And I was like, oh, wow,
are these like sexy underwear? Like is that He's like?
Is that like a peekable home for sex? So bold
(01:53):
and which is listen. I don't put it past anyone
because there are guys who wear jock straps to the gym,
which that's different conversation, but I do. For me, jockstraps
are like a sexy thing. So if you were to
the gym where you know you're gonna be changed in
front of people. To me, I'm like, what you try
to what you're trying to get into daddy anyway. So
I was like, oh, my goodness, he has like a
little peckaple hole in the back of his box. Thirst
(02:14):
that's wild, And then I realized it was it was
it was actually he was wearing them backwards. I don't
know if he like didn't feel that, because I would
feel that. But also it made me go two things. One,
should we start merch where we have underwear that has
like a little pikaboo in the back so that you know,
when you're getting sexy, you lay on your stomach and
(02:37):
then your partner just wetches a little pee hole open
and licks your booty hole.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But the other thing I would like to say is
the underwear ugly. That's really like they were not attractive underwear.
I would never say this to this young gentleman because
that's not you know, you know, that's not helped. They
always say, if you can't change something in ten seconds,
if somebody can't change a thing about them whatever you're
(03:05):
commenting on in ten seconds, don't tell them. So you know,
you don't be like, hey, your hair, I don't your
hair color, I don't love it. Because they can't change
that in ten seconds. So this underwear he couldn't change
because he's at the gym. He only got the one pair.
So I would never say, sir, your underwear it's ugly. Also,
what a wild way to start a conversation at a
locker room anyways, but it just made me go, hey,
(03:26):
I just think that men should really invest in underwear.
That's really what this all is about. I think it's okay.
I don't know who needs to hear this, especially like
straight men or gay men who really love and value
their masculinity or whatever that is. Hey, your underwear can
be sexy, babe, Like you can invest in your underwear.
(03:49):
You can invest in your socks, you know what I'm saying.
And also you have to update and refresh your underwear
and your socks every so often. Honestly, I would say
like every six months, please at least every year, because
you know, your underwear, your socks, these are things that
are directly on your body and they get tingy and
(04:10):
you deserve, baby, You deserve clean, fresh, nice, beautiful sexy undergarments.
Undergarments that feels so dated, but but you know what
I'm saying, you deserve that. So I just want to
encourage y'all to look up some sexy underwear. This was
(04:32):
by the one that he was wearing, and I did
take notice because again I love underwear. It was a
Joe Boxer moment. Would shout out to Joe Boxers. I
don't know where you get them, but like shout out
to that brand. But this particular this particular color and
cut was not was not the vibe. So maybe maybe
(04:56):
Joe Boxer wants to do a collaboration and I can
support you and making sexy underwear because everybody deserves sexy
underwear like that is not just like a woman thing
or like a bottom thing. Everybody deserves sexy underwear. So
to the straight men listening, the three of you go
(05:17):
get you some sexy underwear. Okay, okay. Oh by the way,
welcome to the show. This is tell me something messy.
I am your host, Brandon Kyle Goodman aka Messy Mother.
You can call me whatever you want, but today maybe
call me peek a boo hole. My god, that's when
I have my husband call me when I get back home. Okay,
(05:38):
peek a boo hole come here. Okay. So before we
get into our guest for the day. I do have
a little life update. You might have seen it on Instagram,
or if you follow me on subsack, you might have
read about it. But let me also say it here
on the pod, I am, as you already know, I'm
non binary. But I had been using he, him and
(06:00):
they them pronouns, but now I am exclusively using they
them their's pronouns again. On subsack, I wrote a whole
little essay why, and on Instagram there's a whole announcement.
So I'll let you find it there for more information,
or we'll also put it in the show notes. We'll
put the link to both of those things in the
show notes. But what that does mean is from time
(06:23):
to time for the next couple months. Actually, because we've
recorded quite a number of episodes, you may hear guests
refer to me still with him pronouns. It's just because
we recorded all those episodes before I decided to go
to them exclusively. So I just want you to know that,
just a little heads up so you're not feeling like
(06:44):
somebody is misgendering or that it's a foosball moment. Okay, beautiful,
all right? Uh, doorbell maybe you know what that means.
It is time for a guest. Now, while they get situated,
we'll get our messy. Key key started with the whole man.
Do repeat after me aloud or in your head. Grant
(07:04):
me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal,
the wisdom to know that sex is not just about penetration,
the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries. The
strength to not call my ex that fuck boyfuck girl,
or fuck they, for it is better to masturbate by
myself in peace than to let someone play in my
(07:25):
motherfucking face. Let the community say holuvia. I am so
excited to have Blakely Thornton on this show. Blakelee is
a brilliant pop culture anthropologist, and his sharp and funny
takes on celebrity culture, fashion, etc. Never misses. In twenty
twenty three, he created an executive produced a series called
(07:47):
Queer Sports for Vice News, and he's now in development
of a podcast called Immediately Know about the Power of
personal boundaries. You can catch him covering the met Gala
red carpet for Instagram, amongst many other exciting developments. Blakely
has completed brand partnerships with Arewon, Jessica mccurmac and Neutrient Ginet. Y'all,
please welcome Blakely to the show. Hi, blake Lee, Hello,
(08:10):
welcome to the show. I'm so happy you're here. I
feel like when I when I'm saying I need guests,
were like, which guests should I have? People always said Blakely,
want to see Blakely and Brandon.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I feel like this is like the synergy because like,
I'll talk shit immediately. Remember when we did the Goho
See and they wouldn't put us together?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I do.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I was like, this is what the whites are doing.
I was like, they want to type because I was
so excited. I was like, he will get me.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
We would have a thing.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
We'll be going back.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And Ryan was also there, Ryan slay God. Ryan was
also like they never put us together.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
They never put They put one negro at a time,
one day negro. We can't have two because if it
was to the kikey would be it would just be
called the Kiki.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Absolutely. Wait, okay, so before we get in, I would
love to give you the messy mandates for our messy
key key. I love that things get to be unprocessed.
Any thoughts or opinions. Dared get to have the right
to evolve, shift, or change today, tomorrow or ten years
from now. As we were talking about the internet is
about now, but podcast nuance evolution, and during the key key,
(09:10):
if something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use
the safe word foosball gives us a chance to pause
and address or pivot accordingly. Got it, you got it? Okay,
cool man. So let's play a lube breaker. Okay, you ready? Yes,
smash her pass? Okay, the Real Housewives. Oh, I know
I didn't give you. I didn't give you a city,
(09:32):
but let's start with just the Real Housewives. Smash or pass,
Smash smash.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Honestly, it's anthropological interesting. Okay, yeah, is there a favorite
city New York?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Really? The new one or the old one? Let's talk
about it, come on both.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
The old one got too racist. It absolutely becomes decrepit.
It's like it was actually a case study in how
someone can be entertaining but also like almost Trump is
and like Ramona Singer is a racist and a Trump
or she knows this, yes, but it's like, oh, she's funny,
and I think adding Ebony a black woman kind of
just roid the cognitive uncomfortable season, so they couldn't like
they were like, oh, this is what happens when like
(10:06):
you integrate, which is like why they were avoiding it
for so long. But then the New New York they
got the lesbian soft less Yeah, black girls like black girls,
you know, like you get a car, you get a car,
you get a car.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
They're like, here's here's the United Colors of benefit.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
And in the second season they're coming into their messiness.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Okay, smash or pass boxer briefs.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Wait, are they moisture wiking material or cotton?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Get out of my studio, nigga, get out of my studio.
I don't know what do you want them to be?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Baby cotton boxer briefs pass moisture wicking like under armour
and moisture wicked oysture wicking like like you got minformance material.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
That leaves chocolates. I don't eat those pieces are for pores.
Get your credit, Get your credits a moisture wit and
eight fifty. I want to gear a Deli's chocolate bitch.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Bitch, there you go say it, imperial.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I can't spell gear Deli, so.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I pass on boxer briefs. I want, I want to
I want a jockstrap on a throng. I want a brief,
but a boxer brief. It is just so loose.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
See, that's why you need the moisture wicking. They stay
tight if it's the right material, the cotton ones. Is
that not trunks? No?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
No boxer briefs oister wicking.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yes, Like like like what do they feel like?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
They feel like this placement? What they feel like?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
They feel like it's almost like a spandex like underarmoor
like that, like the tight stuff on like a shirt,
but a brief made a boxer brief made of that?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Is it compression?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yes, compression, a boxer compression.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Something loose. I want something that shows.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Exactly a boxer compression short.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You would like that, Okay, I'm gon google this.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You have a phone on moisture, moisture wick Y, moisture,
win last one, smash sure pass masks I'm talking about
like sex mask like like anonymous masks.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Like I'm not into it. Okay, I respect those for
other people, but i feel like I've experienced them a
couple of times and it's just like it makes for awkward,
like talk afterwards. Whom I'm talking to, what's happening here?
Or like you're obviously you're married with kids and you
live in Mexico City, but like.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Just like I'm not gonna take a picture.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I'm not gonna tell me about it. Yeah, let me know.
Come on, but do you drop the pen. I'm kind
of a pass on the masks of it all. It
looks hot, That's why it looked like one. I sweat easy, lazy,
so I just took called my cardigan so I sweat easily.
And then also, like if I can't see your face,
I don't know even if I trust you, I want
(12:45):
trust you. It's a suspicion.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You're wearing a mask.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You're wearing a mask exactly. I want to know what's happened. Also,
I get turned on. I'm such a face person. I
get turned on by a good, beautiful smile, and I
feel like the mask I used to see it smile,
but it doesn't. That's creepy.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
That's very like, it's very Ryan Murphy. Yes, I bet
money he's in damasks.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Blakely, You're right, okay, well fabulous, you won you know
what you're wearing here my unconditional love. You did look
down like you were looking for some money. What you
about to show me my unconditional love? Baby, that's more important. Yeah,
thank you, and I'm knowing that. Thank you. Some people
don't appreciate. Okay, y'all, If you have any loop breakers
(13:34):
or prompts, you can email me at tell me something
messy at gmail dot com. Speaking of which lately, yes,
will you tell me something messy? I don't know why
instead of like that that was creepy again, blakely, tell
me something messy.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Okay, I'll say something messy. Yeah, this is interesting for
me just logistically. I had a friend who we went
to Palm Springs from Oilden last year and he met
this couple and he said they really wanted to eat
pineapple out of his ass. Oh, and like that, logistically
that's messy because I was just out of his ass
and yet yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Not on it, but like I wanted to put the
pineapple okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And then again exactly I had questions like is it chopped?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Chunk? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Are we cutting them? Like little dick?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I was just asking questions because I was like, okay,
So even logistically, like did you go in there? They
had a bowl chopped and ready. Yes, scus was it.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
A surprise fresh pineapple?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Fresh? The whole foods was an airworm.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I want to talk about it as a from Trader Joe.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Like I had. I was just like I need you
to draw me a diagram at a time, like like
storyboard this. Ye.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, so that was. Have you ever had anyone eat
pineapple out of your air or anything out of your
Have you eaten anything out of anyone else's ass?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yes, well not out of but on it. Yeah obviously
again I'm an adult.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What did you eat?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
It was like the standard like strawberries and cream stuff? Wow, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Kind of cream like a whip cream.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Like a whip cream, like a cool Actually was cool.
Get out of.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
The cool whip Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Wait what's the one?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Oh look at that voice. Sultry? Okay, it was sultry
then too. Wait walk me through strawberries and cream?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Does?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Okay? So walk me through? Yes, how is the person?
They're on their stomach, on their back.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
On stomach, stomach, stomach, booty up, bowl of strawberries to
the side like they were prepared. Okay, so they brought
this something he wanted.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh he wanted, yeah, okay, and so then.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So what kind of just like chop strawberry up on
the bootyhole? Rugoff, you know, okay, and where does the
cream come in later lately?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Take me to that time when it comes in.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
The strawberry was actually more of like a delivery tool
for the cream. So you dip the strawberry in the
cream on the bootyhole and then you eat it house seed,
not out again. It never went in and out. I
it was just a roll of power to everybody. But
once it's been in there, I don't want to all
the way. I don't really physically want to eat that
and digest it.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Got it? That's fair.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I mean that's for me. I mean that's your You
might call that prude. I just yeah, if you want
to make sure it's you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Still the booty hall, as you said, it's still.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
You know or exactly yeah, it's not my, it's not
my you know, I'm playing in away game.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh my god. Okay, Wow, that was really lovely sex education.
This is what we're doing. Okay, it's time for messy mail.
You want to sing this a little messy male theme song?
Because that sultry, messy.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Male is the one booties and mess man go.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Me in. Yes, okay, this one says, my my seituationship
misses me and is now willing to go on dates?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Do I trust them? Did you do you want to
go on dates? That's oh, it sounds like you do.
You wrote a letter about it. Oh you Aliah, you
wrote a papa. Yeah, but go But that's.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Actually t What you just said is actually important. It's like,
do you want to You're asked like somebody can ask
you out, but do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Also, if you're asking if their trustworthy, maybe it's like
he's going to steal my credit.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
My feeling is if you are asking if you trusted,
you shouldn't know your intuition. Now your intuition has you
right in to ask if you should go on a date,
and do you trust it?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Feel like it's giving the goodness to your social security.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, it's giving identity for aud and.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So honestly do it for the story. For the story.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh my goodness, because it's.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Not gonna hurt me. So I say dealing yes and
jump in that pool.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
And tell us what it's like. Now, let me ask
you this do you do things for the story. What's
the last thing you did for this story? Oh, you
don't have to tell us, but you could. But you
don't have to, but if you want to, it's a foosball.
I just don't know if he listens to podcast, Oka saying,
I don't know if he listens to podcast. Okay. This
(18:26):
one says, going on a date with my ex's friend,
hoping to have a messy time. Have you ever.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I'll have done that? We come on, have we all?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We've gone on a date with your exis friend. You're
looking at me like.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You apostrophe period period? You know you have have I negro.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I have definitely fucked somebody's Yeah, yeah, come on, but
it was just sex. It wasn't okay, okay, it wasn't
like a full day. It is a date messay. Actually
a date is message. I feel a date. It's messy
because it's like emotional.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Actually, I love this person. You're like an unhealed scorpio.
I say, like, I'm I'm in therapy and so I'm
trying to be healed, but like I love the opportunity
for emotional vampirism of you not being healed. So like
you're like, I'm burning it down. I'm feeding off of this,
burn it down. You're toxing, But I love that burn
it down. I'm not in my own life, but if
(19:26):
I mean this is feeding my soul.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
We love the mess.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
This is twenty twenty two. Give me, give me some self, honey,
let's start fires and fights. I actually got it started
to fight at your birthday party in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You did that. Literally, what are you'all fighting about?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I just cust him out. I don't even know why.
It is something stupid And I was like, well, I
buy that, But it was just like I was on
the right amount of are you harry Scorpio?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Would scorpio scorpios? I have arias and scorpio and my
ears and scorpio.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It's something and I was just ready to go off.
You said it, yeah, not today, Satan, and I did it?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Would you do today?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Though?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Twenty twenty four?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
No at all? Like who truly? Therapy work?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Therapy does work. I would have been like me, okay,
yes see therapy, that's a real girl.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Why am I going to fuck up my night?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Why will I fuck up my night over you?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But I see what I might do is if I like,
if I knew he was allergic to something, I might
like mildly poison cut that cut that.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Cut that uh, not like deadly deadly, but like a
little like you know, a little bloated.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, or or like you know, like you're lack some
tolerant I put like whole milk in your coffee.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
That's not light at all. Yes, it is that nigga
will be diarrhea but not dead. Okay, this one says
I visited family, I couldn't host this beautiful man, so
we fucked all over the building stairwell. I mean, I
guess fabulous.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Wait, people, I need more details.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I know they don't be giving me a lot all
the details, like.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
What kind of building? Where is it? Is it a brownstone?
Is it a doorman building.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I'm imagining I'm imagining it's not a doorman building because
it's too much security. It's like a regular building, like
a regular party.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I know, because you could go into like the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Oh sure, they're in the stairwell. I've seen those videos
on only Fans where niggas are fucking in the stairwell
and it really I mean, it's hot, but also like
I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I couldn't just logistically, I don't have that energy.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I don't. I can't pull my pants.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Also your family yeah, also your family in the building too, Yeah,
like your little cousin or maybe they fucked.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
In a different building, like no, we fuked all over
the building stairwell never mind, Yeah, with their families building.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
You don't like your family.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I mean, also, why couldn't you host them?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Honestly, this is giving the families home of phobe fair
like vengeance.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well also, like, even if your family is like pro homo,
would you still bring a man off a grinder back
to that Christmas vacation?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Oh, this is a grinder house. I'm assuming I was
thinking like Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well, I mean I don't know a visiting family, so
I'm assuming it could be a holiday and so like
you're back at your home. Oh my god, I literally.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Thought, like, this is a person you liked in your family?
Was homophobias?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh you went there?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
No, no, no, I think they I think they were
just a visiting family and they couldn't have somebody in
their you know, childhood bedroom, and so they were sucking
the stairwell.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, okay, I mean not at this it's fine you do.
I would not.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I'd be like, you know what, those stairs are hard knees.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Also, I'm more I'm more interested in the person that
said yes to this. Well. It's like I can't, but
I can sucking the stair with my mom in the theother.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Room, Like why don't you say? I think you leave
that fart off? But I fuck you in the stairwell.
I feel like that's a kink, right. Public play? Have
you ever had public play?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I fucked an alleyway once. I feel like, if you're
near a gay bar, it's.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Not really like if you're a hot dog Sunday or
it's like, okay, you're like you're feeling yourself that day,
but like nobody's gonna I don't think anybody's gonna take
a picture.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, public play would be at Target, which is like, yeah,
that seems.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Big box stores, yeah, fast food chain, casual.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yes. But if you Chick fil A, I'm actually for you.
Gay sex a Chick fil A. That's that's radical, that's protests,
that's protests. I'm actually I call that a du oh wow,
doula peep.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
God bless her. Yeah, God bless her learning to dance.
Kind of Yeah, she did it, did she?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And this is why they.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Didn't put us together on that show. I'm gonna really,
I'm gonna. I had so much contempt for them, but
they really saw something I did.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
They were like, no, you can't, this is we won't
get through the show. Okay, this one said. The throuble
ended because we caught our third cheating with his ex.
His ex has a husband, So I told him, this.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Is wait, whoa, you're an asshole. You're an asshole? Whoever?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
This is thule ended because we caught our third cheating
with his ex X has a husband, So I told him,
told the oh told the.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Exes husband, you're an asshole. That's your Okay, that's that's homophobic.
That's homophobic.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
That's yeah, you're not for the cause.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That'shobic. That's a little too far your business. Also, like,
you're in kind of a polyamer a situation you're in.
If you're calling someone your third, then you're tearing them down.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
You're in a higher ARCA.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You didn't say one of the people did this, Y
said our third, which means you're an asshole, which control free.
I don't like you. I don't like your face, I
don't like your aura, I don't like anything that self
hating gay you a messy bit, and I invite you
to fight me.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Inviting someone to fight you is wowd meet.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Me into Mecula, Meet me into Mecula, bitch.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
If I can say this, if you ever get an
invitation to fight, don't take it like that person. I'll
kill you exactly, exactly exactly. If somebody says I invite
you to fight, run.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Run a man. If a gay man from Texas invites
you to meet him into Mechula on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
He baby, he's gonna fight you, fight you, well, I
would say I'm angree with which is I I hate
that the third well, let's call him the the person
that rounds out your throatle. I hate that they cheated
on you, But I also don't think that telling the
ex's husband is so hurtful.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
It just felt like, let's mess up everybody. Yeah, let's
mess up everybody ship, Like why why didn't you confront
the third person?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The third person? And also like, I don't know if.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
You're sleeping with your ex or confront the x and
maybe he went to his ex because you treat him
like a fucking third.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
So so blakely'st meet you into Maculam. I love that
Blakely is gonna tell you the crimes on the vodcast.
We're gonna turn this legend allegedly allegedly, and then we'll
do a follow up episode when we turn this pod
into a crime pot.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Also, I would like shooting Gatwa to play me in
the Menaz Brother's remake of it.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
How dare you? Ryan? Are you listening?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
It needs to be highly homorized.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Please just shooting if there's not anything happening. I don't
I'm not gonna fight.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
This person in a speedo, but when Ryan films it,
I would like shooting in those thighs. Yes, and oh,
I don't know why I would have a speed that
makes no sense.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Not those boxer breaks. Never need to Ryan Murphy shows anyways.
This one said, oh, and this one will be we
can have a real key key This says. I want
to connect more in gay spaces, but find it hard
because I tend to talk about things that maybe are
too deep, and everyone seems to just want to talk
about partying or working out. It sounds cliche, but it's
(27:22):
been my experience. We're supposed to be such a liberated community.
Why do so many gay men not like to talk
about their feelings, especially around relationships and sex like a
like a light.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I love this person that had some they had some
subject verb agreement. Come on, you know, there were people,
places and things. I really set to see that.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, respond vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I think it's interesting. I actually find myself confronting this
a lot too. I think it's the fact that being
queer in and of itself is an identity for better
or for worse, that is rooted in risk or rejection
from family, from friends, for identity. So I feel like
we all it's almost cellularly encoded in us to avoid
that in our adult lives or avoid that feeling which
(28:09):
is very which is very similar. So I feel like
we talk about partying or fun or sex, but when
it comes to like deepness and emotions and identity, we
have to like announce ourselves to the public, which is
still a thing. So it's like it's that's that's something
we don't we have to we risk that exposure just
to be ourselves. And I think once we get over
that hump, we don't want to then go deep and
examine the why of it all.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, yeah, I feel like when you're so when I
think about, you know, gay spaces and you know, listen,
my experience with gay spaces is very much limited to
Los Angeles and New York, which I will one hundred
percent say is very different than my experiences when I've
gone to even like a San Francisco or or something
(28:51):
yeah or yes, or to Madrid. But my experience there particularly,
I'll say in LA is that I feel like a
bunch of gays left their towns, descended upon a big city.
They left those towns, many of us, probably because you
experienced rejection or bullying or oppression of some kind. And
now you're in this free space, but you don't know
(29:13):
how to claim reclaim your power. And so your power
actually comes from posturing, exactly, from holding and from not
being vulnerable, and that or that's how you feel your
power comes from, yes, And so then it becomes hard
to connect with people on deeper subjects outside of you know,
how many salads you eat a day, because the healing
(29:36):
has therapy has exactly, the healing hasn't happened.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
People don't want to examine the why. Yeah, I'm a
very curious person. I always say like, I'm the boy
that like never gets invited to like the orgy or
the group sex, and like what are we doing? Are
we all having sex right now? Like I'm down for it?
I need to like know what's going on? Yes. And
I often think because I came out like kind of
late and I played college football, that I read nonverbal
cruising as violence. When you were like look at me,
(30:00):
I'm like, what the fuck do you want?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Then it could be like absolutely could be like it could.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So I never gained that skill because I didn't have
it in my late teens early twenties. I was just like, oh,
you want to fight? Yes, But yeah, I just think
it's about like nobody wants to examine the why because
I don't think we want to experience any further judgment.
I think I'm all. I think being open and queer.
It's about like constant communication. I think you're so good
at it, Like Messy, there's actually a deeper feeling and
(30:27):
meaning to Messy Mondays, which is living authentically you and
knowing why you are here. We are without shame, And
I think that's kind of like your brand, even though
it's funny and it's pithy. But I think, you know,
if somebody says like, oh, I like I took no
ten dicks at the Eagle, I'm like, why was that fun?
And people they implied judgment on that, but I'm like, no,
I just want to know why, like, and I don't
think that person has I think often when people reject that,
(30:49):
it's because they haven't examined it. Yes, and I think
that there's often that there's a there's an excitement shame
spial with our behavior. Instagram has created body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You know it's like there's always someone better, there's always
someone more interesting. I've been to these pool parties where
it's all these bros that are on cycles or like
you see these kids way to party and people like
go in the back to like do kedemineum, like we
know you're doing drugs. We're adults, just do drugs and bumbody.
I know. It's just a weird thing of like hiding
the behavior that we know you're doing. If there's a
(31:19):
cognitive dissonance there where I was like, there's one kids
like you want some rooms? I was like, no, thank you,
But I like you for just coming up and asking
a normal human being.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Which actually in some ways creates more trust because I
know what's happening here exactly, I can trust. But the
hiding is because there's not a trust, which, if you
really think about it, is kind of built into our
our queer DNA. We've had to have a hyper awareness
and couldn't always trust our surroundings, and so that kind
of continues even.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
In our Even in queer spaces, you skip the steps.
It's like you go to a party and you're like, oh,
there's an orgy going on upstairs. No one said anything, Yeah,
no one's no one's telling you they're going and coming back, right,
it's just happening, yes. And I think it's because it's
like there's the open, there's the public self, and then
there's like the desire which we kind of there's an
internal shame that nobody is speaking about where somebody I
wish there were people woul being like the Orges at
(32:08):
two thirty, there's where you can shout yes, I'd be like,
oh that's the vibe. I'm like cool, the drugs are
in this room. The in this room, yes, Like people
have written on their cup like what they like. You
can go and talk to them, or you can just
come and drink and smoke weed and like listen to music. Yes,
like there are levels of the party.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Those are the best parties to me where which are
very rare, but when they when they've been curated, where
it's like here's sweed and here's the drinks and your
cup color means there's your level. Choose your level, choose
your ya baby right, Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
I'm like because sometimes I'm like I come in and
I went to a party again Memorial Day and they
were like, oh, we had a human centipede last night,
and I was like, I thought this cent people was
like a place. I was like, oh a bar, Oh
it's a bar. I'm like, oh no, I don't. I
don't know. I'm like, that's not for me. But I
love that you guys did that. Yes, I love that
you were interested in it because for me, like, that's
just logistics getting on my knees ten people in a circle.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
That sounds like a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Did somebody today who did? I don't want to be
behind that, Like, those are the questions I would have,
which is why I'm never going to end up there.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
I'm just like, who ate who didn't? Who didn't? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Who do I trust in this? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
The bottle of butts?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
That's t But I think what you brought up, you know,
like if you do have the the you know, the
the gang bang or the train or the human centipede,
do you know why? And it's not that you always
have to interrogate, but I think it's people some people
never And it's not that it's bad right now, it's fabulous,
But are you doing it for your pleasure or you
(33:44):
doing it to numb out?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Are you doing it for your pleasure because you want
to or because you think it's how you're supposed to be.
Something I come up against with gay men specifically, is
people expressing that they feel like they have to be
this kind of gang yes, which is a gay that
is just truly promiscuous and something that moves, and they
feel weird about needing a little more emotional connection exactly.
(34:06):
And it's like, no, like both of those things are correct,
you just kind of have to know why, you're Like, I've.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dealt with that and like kind of like I love
the rejection of heteronormativity, but I also think it comes
to it can metastasize into people just doing whatever the
fuck they want and being kind of selfish. Yes, because
I feel like, okay, cool, if you can be we
can be ethically no monogamous. But if I want to
know for my safety and you don't want to tell me, okay,
that's that. Let's discuss why.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And people are like, no, you're judging me. No, I'm not.
I'm just saying, like, I want to know, just because again,
I'm a scorpio, I'm a fucking water side, Like I
don't want to get embarrassed. And we're going out in
public and you're having sex somebody I don't you're having
sex with.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, I'm curious, And I also I know that I
know how.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
To interact with that person. I'm not going to go
punch them. But I'm like, I'm aware, so I'm not
blindsided by something. And I think people want to do
the thing without saying anything. They want to fulfill whatever
need they have impulsively with themselves, without explaining themselves or
without any kind of like care for the other person,
especially when your relationships. I was dating somebody and I
(35:08):
was like, we're not we're not together. But I had
moved from LA to New York and I or New
York to LA, and I didn't have my prep and
I was like, okay, well for the for the time being,
could you like use a condom when you have these
other people? And they're like no, And I was like okay.
But I was like okay. I literally just said, just
like okay, that hurts my feelings. But I get it,
like because I'm like, we're not together. But I was like,
why are you mad? Like I don't like what you're
(35:29):
saying is the opportunity, the opportunity to have sex unprotected
with other people is more important to you than the relationships.
The relationship, Like no, it's what I was saying, Like, no,
that's literally what you're saying, and that is okay, sure,
And I think I think that's the thing too, is
we're all invested in the idea of ourselves being good people.
You can do something that hurts someone's feelings and still
(35:49):
be okay, but you have to recognize that what you
want might hurt someone's feelings.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
I think that's so interesting. Interesting Is that the right word?
But there's a lot of juice there because I'm so
curious about kind of like the shadow of self, because
you know, I do want to be a good person
and my highest self. I'm always evolved, I never fight,
you know, but I'm also human. Yeah, we're also human,
(36:16):
and so that is kind of the hard part is
knowing that you might make a mistake or you might
do something that hurts somebody, and so how do you
hold yourself accountable? How do you show up as opposed
to walling off or running away or gas lighting or
making other person wrong. Being able to understand, oh, I
have a misstep here, or like I made a mistake
or I did something that hurts somebody's feelings. I can
(36:38):
say I'm I say this to my boyfriend all the time,
Like I'm not afraid of saying I'm sorry. Yeah, like
I used to be, and like now it's like it
comes for free, Like I'm okay with also obviously the
change behavior. Yeah, but I think it's like reckoning with
your shadow side. That's like, oh, I will make mistakes
and I will do something that might disappoint you or
hurt you. In fact, that is a relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Adding people avoid that feeling so much that it creates
more toxic behavior. They want to avoid the fact that
they hurt you so much, and they will gaslight, deny
the reality, reframe it into something that is completely different,
and like, I did this that hurts your feelings. I'm sorry.
It's very very simple. We learn it when we're in kindergarten.
(37:19):
But like the ability of adult men and adult gay men,
especially in major cities to do it seems to be
somewhat regressing.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well, you know what's I think interesting about that or
why that's connected to is is gay men are not
exempt from being men, right, And I think that sometimes
and like I'll talk about I think white men especially
suffer from this where it's like, because you're gay, you
think that you haven't been socialized as a man, and
a lot of men socialized do not have a connection
(37:51):
to their emotions exactly, Like we're just not exactly societally
raised to connect with your emotions. But you think, I'm
gonna say you lot, but we think that if we're
gay or queer, suddenly we're evolved. Yeah, and it's like, no,
not quite. You still have a lot of that male
socialization that hasn't been interrupted, and so you you're just
(38:14):
showing up toxically. It's like the emotional top.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's like the emotional version of like everybody always saying
gays are stylish when they just like they really justs
wear tighter clothes. Yes, like if you've been to high
Tops on a Sunday, we're not the most.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Stylist baby world. If you look around everyone's and of
the guilty of this. It's a crop top and a
white sneaker.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Exactly, And you know it's not like we have a uniform,
but it's not necessarily chic. Yes, yes, but going back
to emotions, I completely agree you've been socialized as a man,
and I think I would say even more so. White
gay men are not aware of their privilege in terms
of like, oh, no, you've lived life with the of
a cis white man. But for this one thing, yes,
(38:53):
and that comes with a lot of that comes with
you not having to interrogate yourself on the level that
somebody who is a minority does, or alone somebody who
is trans does level one, somebody who is a combination
of those, yes.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Or even like yeah, you're you know, even I think
a femme white boy might experience a little wake up.
But that but that femininity. Piece of it too, is
that these.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Like you know, Chicago KPMG bankers who are one eighties
and five eleven with dirty blonde hair, think they're like
evolved because they suck a dick. It's not this not
the case, Brian.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
And I hear Brian, we need to say that out loud.
I think I think it's what's interesting is we uh
is hiding is avoiding. That is avoiding saying that, avoiding
looking directly at that and saying, oh, you have work here,
your shadows side, you have work here to do as well.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
It's a It's interesting also in these career spaces, and
I always say, like I think I've talked to you
maybe like Vincent about it. Like when we go to
a party and like the only black people there are
like mildly famous. That's a red flag for me. Yeah,
that's a fucking red flag for me. I go somewhere
and it's only like you, Vincent, a little nase and
you're just.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Like, we gotta run, absolutely get out. Absolutely. I I
one hundred percent agree because it's like, oh, one, why
am I the minority in this space? That's not really
quite making sense, And just gently interrogating like what are
these spaces and where am I showing up? And why
am I showing up? And what why are we showing up?
(40:21):
And what are the experiences the other black people in
these spaces are having? And I'm curious when you and
we may not be able to know, but like, if
you see that house and there are three only three
black guys, and you know twelve white guys, and the
three black guys are especially beautiful, what do you think
is happening in their head?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I think I think one the black experience and the
black gay experience is on a monolith, sure, depending on
what the way you grew up, depending on the way
you identify and your value system. I think there are
certain black people that crave inn adjacency to whiteness and
that and they think that validates them in some way.
And you'll find that in the way they speak and
the people they date, and the things they in, the things,
(41:00):
the things they say about other black men, and they
are willing to say in a white space because I'll say,
I'll yell, i'll yeo, we got forty five minutes, I
get to see another Negro where I'm leaving. I literally
did this yeah. I was like, and they can't be famous. Yes,
that does not count. And I'll say that and if
you're like, also that to my white friends and they'll
be like tea, Like I'm yeah, Like that's the test.
(41:22):
Like if I say that shit to you and you're
like like, then you don't really get it.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
But I think with the like I was at a
pool party and it was like maybe two of us
and then literally fourty five minutes they were just came
and I was like, we gotta go. That doesn't count.
We leave it. We believe right now that we said
not famous. Yes, But there was one other boy there
and it was just giving, like he is giving, he
was there for work. The way the man was talking
to him was like like like it was a controlling
(41:47):
of the body. I see that too, and I wonder
it's like, oh, do you just want access to this
space fiscally? Do you think you're going to gain something?
And that also affects the way people talk to you,
because I've had older white men talk to me like that,
like I looked about your clothes. I'm like, well, I
work in fashion. I can give them for fucking free.
You're talking to you and I think it's coded in
the way they approach the relationship. They're like, oh, I'm
(42:10):
older and white and you're younger and black, so I
can talk to you as such, or they talk to
you like you're an object.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
That's always I tend yes, well, especially and I'm going
to market to their to the generational too. Yeah, but
like the way that an older white man, old white
men have spoken to me, it's always curious.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
And I blow it up immediately. I'm just like, I
was like, I'm not spoken to you like that. Do
not call me boy contextual that, And I was like,
I'm also like, I'm very aware of being like hyper sexualized.
If you're going to come at me like as an
older Caucasian man, you to come at me mentally, you
need to be like I remember things about my day,
about my preferences, talk to me especially like a person.
(42:50):
But I'm like if you're like, oh, but I'm like, nope,
if everything's about the body, if everything's about giving you
a nude and like, no, the.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Moment I hear I love that black dick, I'm out. Oh,
I'm out the moment somebody highlights my skin or I'm
out blocked like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I think what's so what is so confounding.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Confounding or or tintillating about all of this is that
one there's so much nuance, and what we don't talk
about is there so much pain. So even to me
for the two black guys that that always are at
the party with the white boys or the white boys
trying to be extra mask and particularly they don't watch
(43:35):
Drag Race all of it, I'm like, there's so much pain. Yeah,
there's so much desire to be normal, to fit in,
and so much energy being spent on that, which is
why there isn't the ability to go deep because there's
so much time being spent on.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
But I think you hit it on the nail. People
are avoiding pain. Yeah, they're avoiding like the thing they're
avoiding talking about is the thing that makes them feel
rejected or shameful in some sense, and that to substance
is like it's really just the blanket state will be
internalized homophobia. I don't want drag race, but I'm still
I'm a bro. I'm gonna dude, I'm not that kind
of gay.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I'm not that gay.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I'm not You don't do that like I'm just like
a brother, like Dick, I'm like, what what what Max
Mappien is?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
That was a straight man? Shut up?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Like it's early people were like, oh, like I've had
a man be like, oh you pat your nails? Could
you not see that? In THEE It's different now, like
I'm sorry, it's the pink jail set today, but like, yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
I hate I also like I hate the mask for mask,
which you know, listen, I hate when people say preferences,
which I'll probably do an episode on what preferences are.
But it's like when you say that to me, I'm going, oh,
you're not actually curious, because where did your preferences come from?
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And also you're kind of about performance. Also, your sexuality
is performative, which means your sex will be bad.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
It's not pleasure for me now, it's about it's about
what this looks from mask.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
It's like, so you don't really you're never gonna truly
be in your body during sex, as you're more concerned
with maintaining heteronormative, misogynist version of what a man is,
which has no place in a bedroom where we're both sucking.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yeah, so we're already being radical. Why are you saying like,
you're already here.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
We've already dot, You're already here, baby, you already hear you,
Dick is hard, You're already here. There, We're both here,
you already you know. Yeah, Like I remember I had
attitude once. It was like he didn't want me to
like cross my legs when I sat and I was like,
I've been inside you.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
What are we talking? Like? What are we talking? That
policing of somebody else's mannerism, mannerisms of being feminine or masculine,
is also something that I feel like you obviously something
we learned from. Yeah, but but the fact that one
would hope in an ideal world that you would come
into queer spaces and be liberated of all of that,
exam able to show up how you are, in whatever
(45:53):
way you are. But instead there becomes more policing and
more and with the social media just kind of adds
to it.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I think some almost like commodifies, and I say, and
in the dark side of social media, it commodifies and flattens,
where the thing that rises at the top isn't necessarily
the most interesting and the most pleasurable. It's the thing
that like causes a knee jerk reaction. The fast is like,
you know, every dude having the same pose and the
Charlie by MZ Speedo, which we've all done. I'm like
he without saying, casts the first stone, but like, baby, it's.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Why I like whenever I see somebody, First of all,
if your nails are painted, or your toes are painted,
or you're not afraid to have a little makeup on,
or your look softly, I know you fuck. Like I'm like,
oh you're you're okay in your body exactly, okay with us,
so you fuck. It's when they're not even like the
most I always hands down, the more muscular they are,
the more of a bottom they are, like, the bigger whatever,
(46:45):
and the more masculine they look, I'm like that that's
the bottom. That's a they love dicking the ass. But
like there's but there's which is no problem with that.
It's just to me, the the presentation to try and
pretend like.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
Well, because they have the most arched back at all,
maybe protrude exactly, I'm like, that's not how like there's
a good posture, and there's like and then there's the
bottoms all the time, you know, yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
My I guess my last question. I lied. I have
two more questions are the questions that we asked everybody here. One. Yes,
have you ever had sex on a porter potty?
Speaker 1 (47:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Would you?
Speaker 1 (47:26):
No?
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Do you desire it at all?
Speaker 1 (47:28):
No? Waits time out. Okay, I was how's the porta potty?
Is it like a Coachella luxury porter potty where there's
a door, or this is like a blue porta potty?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
It could be either.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay, a luxury Coachella one that's kind of like a
comes on that trailer with the room. Yes, I need
air conditioning. I needed to be a motor in the back. Yeah,
I can't be having sex in like a steamy ass
like I can't. No, I don't know. I don't like
I've never liked anyone that much.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Maybe Jonathan Bailey, who's white. I'm sorry all that ship talking,
all that ship talking, all that therapy, and the way
that came up was a fucking colonizer. And I recognize,
and I recognize that I was being trafficked. You got
more healing to do, girl, It's okay, Wow, it's okay,
(48:14):
Jonathan Bailey, it was hot. I saw wicked yesterday. Also
that my god, how was it? It was?
Speaker 2 (48:20):
It was fucking great. I can't wait so good. I
can't wait to see our girl. And the uh last
question is what could you learn to love more about yourself?
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Oh? The fact that I'm actually really sensitive? I think
that's not I think there's a classic scorpio trait. But
like a lot of my bluster and my humor and
hubris and persona is about not feeling everything. But that's
really because I'm kind of at my core, like I
take every slight very seriously and kind of worry that
(48:50):
everybody hates me all the time. But I think it's
just like being like, oh it's not bad to feel
or be like that hurt my feelings. I like you this,
Like just being honest with it has actually made me better.
But it's that's a process I can fly back to,
like fuck you die.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, but you're a teddy bear, yes you know. I
would imagine also being sensitive being black man also tall
football player, like being allowed.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
To access thatself exactly, I think jour. I think being
I think being allowed allowing myself to access it and
also knowing when me accessing it in a healthy way.
Is being rejected by somebody because they don't like it,
you know what I mean. Like when I'm being and
I'm like, I'm expressing my feels, You're like, you're being
solf to that bit, She's like, no, I'm just telling
you how I felt. Yeah, you don't like to hear
(49:38):
that from me, But they're the problem, you don't. Yeah, exactly,
And that's a constant conversation.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah, I bet that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
You know, we're healing. We're healing, we're healing. Thank you
for being surviv You know, we are hoes here, but
(50:06):
hoes with heart. So let me speak to yours. I'm
actually gonna start with the last thing that Blakely said,
which is that he could learn to love more his sensitivity.
And that is just something you know, I've talked about
here on substack, on Instagram, anyone who will listen about
softness and allowing ourselves the opportunity to be soft and
(50:28):
allowing ourselves to understand the strength of that softness. But
the key piece that I want to take away from
Blakely is when you are soft, if it's not received,
it doesn't mean that your softness is bad. Or that
you were wrong for being soft, or you're wrong for
being sensitive, or you were wrong for being vulnerable. It
just means that that person wasn't able to hold it.
(50:51):
And that's okay. You know, sometimes people can't hold us.
But that's why we hold ourselves. And I don't mean
that in a way of like do it all yourself.
I mean that, like your community holds you, and you
build a community around you to hold you, but you
are also part of holding yourself. And so when you
meet somebody who isn't able to meet you there with love,
release them, you know, with love, you know they can.
(51:14):
Maybe they're just for movie dates, you know, maybe they're
just to talk about, you know, the surface level stuff
and they're not there for the tender stuff. And that
doesn't make them bad or you bad. But continue to
honor and hold your softness and your sensitivity. Also, you know, men, gay, men,
(51:35):
white gay In my Loves reflect, reflect, be not afraid
to poke at what is painful. Life is hard. I
know we want to avoid what's painful, but it actually
just makes us more harmful if we aren't aware of
(51:56):
the ways in which we are hurting. Hurt people, hurt people,
If we can't even say that we're hurting or acknowledge
the ways that we're hurting. Then we are inadvertently hurting
other people consciously or not intentionally or not. But the
impact is not good. So don't be afraid to reflect,
don't be afraid to poke at the pain. And you know, finally,
(52:21):
moisture wick boxer briefs are apparently all the rage, and
I'm gonna have to get my money up so I
can afford to buy a pair, because I don't know
where you find a moisture Like, what where do y'all
find moisture wick boxer briefs? And aren't boxer briefs supposed
to have loose anyways? I will find me a moisture
wick because y'all know I love an underwear situation. I'm
(52:42):
sure you've see me on my Instagram. I like to
I like to wear my underwears. But I'm gonna find
me a moisture wick boxer brief and I'm gonna report back,
and if I don't like it, we're gonna trash Blakely. Yeah,
have likely you hear this. I'm gonna come fight you.
I'm gonna come fight you, Okay, I'm gonna invite you
to fight me. Blakely, all right, I love y'all so much.
All Right, I gotta get out of here. But you
(53:03):
can find Blakely on Instagram at Blakelee Thornton t h
O r N t O N. You can find me
on Instagram as well at Brandon Kyle Goodman. You can
find our podcast at tell Me Something Messy, and you
can join our community on the Messy Monday's substack. When
you subscribe, you'll get weekly posts, recommendations on sex and
(53:24):
self and so much more. Also, I want to hear
from you, so send your topic ideas, your messy stories,
your submissions, your game ideas to tell Me Something Messy
at gmail dot com. You can also call us at
six six nine sixty nine Messy. That is six six
nine six nine six three seven seven nine. Rate review
(53:45):
and share this podcast with all your hoe and aspiring
HOE friends. Really really helps the show out, all right?
Until next time, ask about the politics of that dick
before you make it spit, make sure they eat the
kitty buffo day meet the before fuckcation or sucation communication.
And in case you haven't heard it yet, today you
(54:07):
are so deeply loved, I Love you, Hie. Thank you
so much for listening to Tell Me Something Messy. If
you all enjoyed the show, send me episode to someone
else who might like it. Tell Me Something Messy was
executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins, and Yours Truly.
Our producer and editor is Vince Dejohnny. For more podcasts
(54:28):
from iHeartRadio and the Outspoken Network, visit the iHeartRadio app
or anywhere you subscribe to your favorite shows.
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