December 15, 2025 • 10 mins
Brandon finishes the messy story from last week by explaining the "sex accident."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Baby, I know you can't get enough. So here's a
little more mess because I have more to say. Now,
let me tell you something messy. Have you messy Monday
or whenever you're listening to this. Okay, time for a
little extra mess, which is a continuation of the messy
story that I shared last week, which is, you know,
(00:22):
I told you that I was in a threesome and
I had sex in an office of this brand, this
global brand. It was very hot and sexy. But then
at the end, I told you that one of the
guys that I was in threesome with, which is a
friend of mine, turns out he had been texting my
bestie the entire night because he was going on a
(00:43):
date with my bestie, but didn't know that my bestie
was my bestie. And I found out because I spent
Thanksgiving evening with my bestie and he was telling me
that he was going on a date with this guy
and he said his name, and I was like, Jason,
I was I I was just I was just with
(01:04):
Jason yesterday. I was just with Jason actually early this morning,
because we fucked into the into the morning of Thanksgiving.
And it was a gag because what the fuck. But
none of us knew because this so Jason, let me explain, Jason.
Jason is not like a close friend of mine. We
are friends. We met a long time ago in Los
(01:25):
Angeles and then he moved to New York and we
just happened to reconnect because he came to my show
and I was like, oh wow, you're so sexy, and
he was like, you're so sexy. Let's hang out, and
so we did. But like that's that's the extent, Like
we're not texting regularly, we're not close like that. My
bestie they had just connected like a couple of weeks ago,
(01:47):
and like we hadn't just because of the show, Like
my best Sie and I just haven't had the time
to download on boys, So there was just no way
for us to know that anyone was talking to the other.
It was a gay anomaly, or maybe not a gay nominally,
because it's actually quite on brand for the gays, though
every gay has sucked every other gay. It's just like
(02:09):
in New York, LA, it's a very small it's a
very small community. It's a very big community, but also
somehow a very small community. But it was shocking, like
we were was Here's here's where it got tricky. Is
that so my best die the whole time that I
am with uh with Jason, which we are, we're fucking
We're going to this shock shrap party. We have this threesome.
(02:31):
The whole time, he's apparently texting my best team. I
don't know this unbeknownst to me and my bestie, he's
also very sex positive. I was saying that Jason was
kind of down playing the evening, like he knew he
was going to jockstrap party, but when they were checking in,
Jason was kind of making it seem like he's there
but like not really doing much. And I was kind
(02:52):
of like, oh, oh well not not but her just like,
oh that that that was not my experience in blocks.
We were doing some we were doing some things together apart,
but we were like, you know, we were having a
good time, and my bestie kind of start got a
little tight because he's like I love the sex positivity
and I love that he was at that party and
(03:12):
if he was doing things, I love it. I just
wish he was able to say it to me. And
this one came up for me. I was like, I
hear you, bestie, but I've probably, but he probably downplayed
it because we are in a puritanical society and there's
a lot of shame around Even if you're sex positive,
(03:33):
there can be shame around it. Right that, even if
you are at a jock shop party and you're able
to say that, there's still a fear of being rejected
as somebody knows just how sexual you are. And so
I was like to my bestie, who's very open and like,
you know, has taught me so I mean, I would
not be a hoe without him, quite honestly, Like he's
taught me so much about compassion and being open and
(03:57):
trying things and exploring, and you know, I learned so
much from my bestie. So he's just on a different
politic around how he talks about sex. And I was like,
not everybody is their babe. They might be at these parties,
but talking about sex is still very different than like
doing it or being at a sex party. Right, talking
about it and sharing about it and sharing about your
(04:19):
fantasies and what you've done. Right, you can listen, you
can go to a dark room and have the time
of your life, right and fuck and be nasty as
fuck in that dark room. Or in that on that
dance floor, but then you leave and you never talk
about it again, right, And so talking about it is
just a different it's a different skill set, it's a
(04:39):
different ask and brings up a different set of triggers.
So my bestie's able to to hear that and kind
of be like, okay, like I'll still go out with him,
because I was like, yeah, nobody was hiding anything from anyone,
Like he Jason didn't know that you were my bestie.
Jason didn't know. I didn't know that you were talking
(05:01):
to Jason. You didn't know Jason was with me, Like, so,
no one was in the wrong here, and my best
he acknowledged that and then he goes, but I still
feel I still feel some kind of way, And so
Bessie and I like sat down and we talked about
it because he was like, there's a feeling of jealousy,
but I'm not even sure what I should be jealous about.
(05:22):
And I find this so interesting, and so here's what
I really want to talk about, which is sometimes we're
jealous about things because we think we're supposed to be jealous,
but that actually isn't our reality. I think my bestie
was experiencing this this contradiction of like, I feel jealous,
but I also don't feel the right to be jealous
because there's nothing to be jealous about. And an old
(05:44):
version of us may have, you know, gotten defensive and
may have thought about it or may have been in
our feelings about it. But this version of us, which is,
you know, we've been in our separate healing journeys and
healing together, was like, let's talk about it. Let's pull
the threads to it, Let's unpack what is the quote
unquote jealousy? Is it yours or is it the scenario
(06:06):
that makes you think that you should have it? And
how can I love you better or through it? Or
how can I be more compassionate? And so we did,
we pulled the threads and ultimately we realize that it's
just the situation because of how close it all is
that he felt like, oh, I'm supposed to be jealous.
But again, looking at the facts, there was nothing that
(06:30):
anyone did wrong. It was really just like I want
to call it a freak accident, but like it was
really just a gay sex accident. It wasn't it wasn't intentional,
And I guess reflecting on that, it makes me really
(06:52):
grateful to be in this era of my life, because
when conflict happens, it can really trigger abandonment stuff. And
my bestie and I have a lot of our own
baggage around abandonment and people when things get hard leaving
(07:13):
or withdrawing their love. And that was that was not
what happened here. We were really able to sit with
each other and say, hey, feel how you feel. Tell
me how you feel, and I will hold it and
I will be here with you through it, and I
will share how I feel, and we will patch this
thing up together. And it's just so beautiful to have
(07:39):
that skill, and not just to have that skill, because
you can have that skill and be in community with
people who still can't hold it or handle it, so
to be in community with other people who have that skill,
being in community with people who are also interested in
expanding their own emotional intelligence along with you, who are
(07:59):
interested in hearing what you have to say and seeing
you for who you are, as opposed to going off
of assumptions, as opposed to placing or projecting their own narrative,
as opposed to just wanting to be mad. It's so
beautiful to get to that place. So all that to say,
they went on a date, they had a beautiful time.
As far as I know, they're still gonna go on
(08:20):
dates together. And if they get married, I better be
the officiant. Okay, Uh, that would really bring it all together.
But yeah, it was. It was for sure a messy moment,
and messier because my friend, my messie is so like
uh he he he likes he likes a joke, He like,
(08:41):
he like, he likes something a laugh, he likes to
poke a little bit, and so he's he informed Jason
about the the triangle in a very uh instigative way
that of course we all ended up laughing at. It
wasn't a it wasn't a bad instigation. It was just
(09:03):
like I heard you fucking my bestie, And of course
Jason was like what. But it all worked out and
it's all beautiful. Anyways, if you have a messy story,
email tell me something Messy at email dot com, or
you want to send me something anonymous, go to something
messy dot com. And baby, I love you. I'll see
(09:24):
you next week and I love YouTube messy patron hoes.
All right, y'all have a good week. I'm gonna see
you on Thursday for a new episode of tell Me
Something Messy. Don't forget. You can find me on Instagram
at Brandy called Goodman. You can find our podcast have
to tell Me Something and Messy. You can also join
the community on substack Brandon called Goodman dot substack dot com.
(09:46):
Listen to tell Me Something Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast
or anywhere you get your podcast. Have I said it already?
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby.
I love you. Bye.
Baby, I know you can't get enough. So here's a
little more mess because I have more to say. Now,
let me tell you something messy. Have you messy Monday
or whenever you're listening to this. Okay, time for a
little extra mess, which is a continuation of the messy
story that I shared last week, which is, you know,
(00:22):
I told you that I was in a threesome and
I had sex in an office of this brand, this
global brand. It was very hot and sexy. But then
at the end, I told you that one of the
guys that I was in threesome with, which is a
friend of mine, turns out he had been texting my
bestie the entire night because he was going on a
(00:43):
date with my bestie, but didn't know that my bestie
was my bestie. And I found out because I spent
Thanksgiving evening with my bestie and he was telling me
that he was going on a date with this guy
and he said his name, and I was like, Jason,
I was I I was just I was just with
(01:04):
Jason yesterday. I was just with Jason actually early this morning,
because we fucked into the into the morning of Thanksgiving.
And it was a gag because what the fuck. But
none of us knew because this so Jason, let me explain, Jason.
Jason is not like a close friend of mine. We
are friends. We met a long time ago in Los
(01:25):
Angeles and then he moved to New York and we
just happened to reconnect because he came to my show
and I was like, oh wow, you're so sexy, and
he was like, you're so sexy. Let's hang out, and
so we did. But like that's that's the extent, Like
we're not texting regularly, we're not close like that. My
bestie they had just connected like a couple of weeks ago,
(01:47):
and like we hadn't just because of the show, Like
my best Sie and I just haven't had the time
to download on boys, So there was just no way
for us to know that anyone was talking to the other.
It was a gay anomaly, or maybe not a gay nominally,
because it's actually quite on brand for the gays, though
every gay has sucked every other gay. It's just like
(02:09):
in New York, LA, it's a very small it's a
very small community. It's a very big community, but also
somehow a very small community. But it was shocking, like
we were was Here's here's where it got tricky. Is
that so my best die the whole time that I
am with uh with Jason, which we are, we're fucking
We're going to this shock shrap party. We have this threesome.
(02:31):
The whole time, he's apparently texting my best team. I
don't know this unbeknownst to me and my bestie, he's
also very sex positive. I was saying that Jason was
kind of down playing the evening, like he knew he
was going to jockstrap party, but when they were checking in,
Jason was kind of making it seem like he's there
but like not really doing much. And I was kind
(02:52):
of like, oh, oh well not not but her just like,
oh that that that was not my experience in blocks.
We were doing some we were doing some things together apart,
but we were like, you know, we were having a
good time, and my bestie kind of start got a
little tight because he's like I love the sex positivity
and I love that he was at that party and
(03:12):
if he was doing things, I love it. I just
wish he was able to say it to me. And
this one came up for me. I was like, I
hear you, bestie, but I've probably, but he probably downplayed
it because we are in a puritanical society and there's
a lot of shame around Even if you're sex positive,
(03:33):
there can be shame around it. Right that, even if
you are at a jock shop party and you're able
to say that, there's still a fear of being rejected
as somebody knows just how sexual you are. And so
I was like to my bestie, who's very open and like,
you know, has taught me so I mean, I would
not be a hoe without him, quite honestly, Like he's
taught me so much about compassion and being open and
(03:57):
trying things and exploring, and you know, I learned so
much from my bestie. So he's just on a different
politic around how he talks about sex. And I was like,
not everybody is their babe. They might be at these parties,
but talking about sex is still very different than like
doing it or being at a sex party. Right, talking
about it and sharing about it and sharing about your
(04:19):
fantasies and what you've done. Right, you can listen, you
can go to a dark room and have the time
of your life, right and fuck and be nasty as
fuck in that dark room. Or in that on that
dance floor, but then you leave and you never talk
about it again, right, And so talking about it is
just a different it's a different skill set, it's a
(04:39):
different ask and brings up a different set of triggers.
So my bestie's able to to hear that and kind
of be like, okay, like I'll still go out with him,
because I was like, yeah, nobody was hiding anything from anyone,
Like he Jason didn't know that you were my bestie.
Jason didn't know. I didn't know that you were talking
(05:01):
to Jason. You didn't know Jason was with me, Like, so,
no one was in the wrong here, and my best
he acknowledged that and then he goes, but I still
feel I still feel some kind of way, And so
Bessie and I like sat down and we talked about
it because he was like, there's a feeling of jealousy,
but I'm not even sure what I should be jealous about.
(05:22):
And I find this so interesting, and so here's what
I really want to talk about, which is sometimes we're
jealous about things because we think we're supposed to be jealous,
but that actually isn't our reality. I think my bestie
was experiencing this this contradiction of like, I feel jealous,
but I also don't feel the right to be jealous
because there's nothing to be jealous about. And an old
(05:44):
version of us may have, you know, gotten defensive and
may have thought about it or may have been in
our feelings about it. But this version of us, which is,
you know, we've been in our separate healing journeys and
healing together, was like, let's talk about it. Let's pull
the threads to it, Let's unpack what is the quote
unquote jealousy? Is it yours or is it the scenario
(06:06):
that makes you think that you should have it? And
how can I love you better or through it? Or
how can I be more compassionate? And so we did,
we pulled the threads and ultimately we realize that it's
just the situation because of how close it all is
that he felt like, oh, I'm supposed to be jealous.
But again, looking at the facts, there was nothing that
(06:30):
anyone did wrong. It was really just like I want
to call it a freak accident, but like it was
really just a gay sex accident. It wasn't it wasn't intentional,
And I guess reflecting on that, it makes me really
(06:52):
grateful to be in this era of my life, because
when conflict happens, it can really trigger abandonment stuff. And
my bestie and I have a lot of our own
baggage around abandonment and people when things get hard leaving
(07:13):
or withdrawing their love. And that was that was not
what happened here. We were really able to sit with
each other and say, hey, feel how you feel. Tell
me how you feel, and I will hold it and
I will be here with you through it, and I
will share how I feel, and we will patch this
thing up together. And it's just so beautiful to have
(07:39):
that skill, and not just to have that skill, because
you can have that skill and be in community with
people who still can't hold it or handle it, so
to be in community with other people who have that skill,
being in community with people who are also interested in
expanding their own emotional intelligence along with you, who are
(07:59):
interested in hearing what you have to say and seeing
you for who you are, as opposed to going off
of assumptions, as opposed to placing or projecting their own narrative,
as opposed to just wanting to be mad. It's so
beautiful to get to that place. So all that to say,
they went on a date, they had a beautiful time.
As far as I know, they're still gonna go on
(08:20):
dates together. And if they get married, I better be
the officiant. Okay, Uh, that would really bring it all together.
But yeah, it was. It was for sure a messy moment,
and messier because my friend, my messie is so like
uh he he he likes he likes a joke, He like,
(08:41):
he like, he likes something a laugh, he likes to
poke a little bit, and so he's he informed Jason
about the the triangle in a very uh instigative way
that of course we all ended up laughing at. It
wasn't a it wasn't a bad instigation. It was just
(09:03):
like I heard you fucking my bestie, And of course
Jason was like what. But it all worked out and
it's all beautiful. Anyways, if you have a messy story,
email tell me something Messy at email dot com, or
you want to send me something anonymous, go to something
messy dot com. And baby, I love you. I'll see
(09:24):
you next week and I love YouTube messy patron hoes.
All right, y'all have a good week. I'm gonna see
you on Thursday for a new episode of tell Me
Something Messy. Don't forget. You can find me on Instagram
at Brandy called Goodman. You can find our podcast have
to tell Me Something and Messy. You can also join
the community on substack Brandon called Goodman dot substack dot com.
(09:46):
Listen to tell Me Something Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast
or anywhere you get your podcast. Have I said it already?
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby.
I love you. Bye.
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