November 13, 2025 • 51 mins
Comedian, writer and actor Jay Jurden joins the show to mesmerize Brandon with their humor and wit as they dive into a discission on being pan, bi or trans in today's society. Plus, Messy Mail that really brings the mess and a game you won't want to miss.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to tell Me Something Messy with Brandon, Kyle
Goodman and iHeart podcasts on the Outspoken Network. Talking about relationships,
sex and identity always reminds me that being a human
is messy. So I wanted to create a compassionate space
where we could feel less alone and embrace our mess together,
the funny, the vulnerable, the cringe, and even the kinky,
(00:21):
because every part of who we are matters. So don't
be shy, baby, tell me something messy. Messy patrons, come on, baby,
welcome to the show. I am your messy mom, Brandon
Kyle Goodman, and you know what that means. It is
time for a guest. Now, while they get situated, we
will get our messy. Key Key started with a hoe
manifest stove, so repeat after me aloud or in your head.
(00:44):
Grant me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage
to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not
about penetration, the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and
my boundaries, the strength to not call my ex that
fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they, for it is
better to masturbate by myself in peace than to let
(01:06):
someone play in my mother fucking face. Let the community
say hollelujah. Today we've got the one and only Jay Jorden,
Mississippi born New York based comedian, writer and actor. He's
shown up on The Tonight Show, The Late Show with
Stephen Colbert and wrote on the Problem with John Stewart.
(01:26):
Jay's debut comedy special, Yes Ma'am, is now exclusively available
on Hulu Now. Jay's humor, his sharp whip, his perspective
is bold, and he loves mess just as much as
we do. So y'all please help me. Welcome into our
messy living room. Jay Jordin, Hi, Jay.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
How are you? Oh good? I like your cardigan?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I love cardigan cozy?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
An age thing?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Are we getting older?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Was a little age thing. It's also pan sexuality and
bisexuality awareness. Cardigans are bisexual sweaters tell me, tell me
more because they are a sweater but also open to
yeah yeah, and non binary. They because there is an
age where everyone starts to put on cardigans regardless of
(02:11):
where you fall on the gender.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Spec That's true.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Cardigans are not only allies, they are members of the community.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You better preached. Just listen.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
We come in hot, you're educated. Yes, I love that.
I love it's also I am old.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
That's the thing. I am old.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Someone was like, oh, j nothing old. I said, listen,
I'm older than the mayor right now.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
That's real. Listen, listen, I can.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I can call it on right now and say, look
at your young I got something to tell you. You man, look,
put your birches up. First of all, I'm glad you're
wearing a suit. You can go out there and T shirts.
The shirts, good suit, hard bottom shoes.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Be nice. That lady, that woman, why gorgeous?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Gor talk about it? She is stunning.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I want her on the cover.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
She's so beautiful. That's why he decided to run. He said,
y'all got to see this. Somebody got this.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But he he's gorgeous, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I can't I can't wait to look at them for
four years. It is very funny that everyone goes policy, policy, policy, policy,
Make sure Americans can live, make sure New Yorkers can
afford things.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
And be cute. Hell a little bit. It's not the
most we gotta look at you. Just be cute.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
It's a little cute.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Just be cute.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Showing up at Poppy Juice and to a yo yo yo.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That was a flex. He was thinking. If I were
probably just said two am, you know, I wouldn't even
say who's the man? Said, who's this sexy brown man?
Who's the sexy brown man in this suit?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
He got a job?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
They has a mayor.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I go, okay, mayhor manos, I'm learning Spanish, may of
my whole.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Before we get too far, city.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Not city hall city, holl wow, very well, take you
six traw very well.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Okay, hold on, let's do our messy mandates. Okay, to
be on process. Any opinions are thought shared, have the
right to shift change today, tomorrow, ten.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Years from now.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
And if during our kiky something feels too personal unintentionally offense,
we use the safe word foosball, which gives us second
to pivot and address accordingly. Yes, let's talk about well,
you talk about your card again, and I have to
find a way to talk about my jacket. Yes, your jacket? Now?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Which care is the camera whide I'm seeing camera?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
In two thousands, sports bra d them said yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, whoa black Betty Boom black?
And Betty Boom said black, Betty, that's gorgeous. Also on Broadway,
she's played by black Girl. Yeah, yeah, we did it.
Which this was this. I asked for this. So my
my best friend from college, her aunt makes these custom jackets,
(04:58):
and so I asked for a black baby booth. And
then if I only got it, and I was like,
people are probably gonna think I was talking about the
musical and I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
But but Synchronicity made billions of dollars, being like, actually
I was talking about that, so yeah, I actually this
is merch. Come on, this is exclusive. That's when something
the blue bootleg. It's not.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
It isn't it's not boutleg. This is the one on one.
This is one. I am number one.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Hey hey, hey, when you have the money, this is designed.
You better check the tag. When you have the coin,
they can get it. Get this, honey, it's custom.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
You can't get this one.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Shall we play alue breaker. Let's play. Let's do it
alue breaker today. We're gonna play liquor in. I'll give
you a prompt and you tell me if you would
lick it. If it's dope work, it's an okay. A
ceiling fan? Ceiling fan? Is that a liquoric for you.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
If it's clean. If it's clean, it's a it's a lick. Okay,
if if you see the dust on the ceiling fan
when you walk in the room and you see it
up there in that dark, it's a yeah, it's a
little bit of an ick. It's I love circulation. I
assume if if I'm going to that room, something I
(06:06):
want is in there, something we want is gonna take
place in there. Maybe it goes so well. We need
the ceiling fans turn on, move some of this air around.
It's getting stagnant.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
We gotta cut through this, yea little bit. It feels
like Florida, You gotta. It's too human.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's me and a Republican con and I go, hey,
payment up front, Wow wow Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah. See I I'm an ick on a ceiling fan,
but I'm ana lick on cleaning a ceiling. Oh yeah,
I feel accomplished.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And yeah, because that is a thick layer. That's a
thick layer of dust. Dust love ceiling where it all
goes goes straight to the ceiling fan. It sees it.
It's like, oh, ceiling fancumulates.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, okay, all right, I just I feel like I
want an a c Yeah, that ceiling fan ain't doing it,
and I need the.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Pluggin fan that has some wow, that has some turbulent.
Ceiling fans are also hard because of this ce I am.
I'm gonna lick, but the lowercase l because there is
one thing ceiling fans. Once again showing my age, like
I said, I'm older than Yeah, you know the click
(07:19):
click once, click once, it's click twice, now three times.
Maybe she's not a lot faster.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You don't know, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And then if I gotta wait to know because now
I'm here clicking all the time and don't get tangled.
And the second one is for the light, I'm pulling
the light. Oh yes, which one is it?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
The longer one? Now I'm I'm puppeteering, working for the
Magic Kingdom. I'm I'm at the line king on Broadway
moving the giraffes.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I don't want you to maso typical. But if you
are black performer, you have gotten that call back.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You know you've been there. I want that call back.
I pray for it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Liquor, left over pepperoni pizza, left over pepperoni pizza. There's
only it's only one way to reheat pizza. Talk tell
me what is your way to reheat it? I go
frying pan. Oh, I go frying pan. He with oil, Yeah,
with olive oil, and then that Yeah, so then I'm
(08:28):
putting the crust down facing the crust is down. Then
after that gets heated through, I flip it over, put
that cheese down. That cheese is getting cooked again. That's
how I heat up. And then if it's pepperoni, there,
the pepperoni is getting cressed up, cram so leftover pepperoni pizza. Sure, yeah,
this is a cooking show. I just I just put
(08:50):
it back in the air fier. Okay, but I used.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
To olive oil spread. I'm smart?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Is the that is the way to do it?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, I think my way is a bit of old school.
And my way was a secret. I'm actually I shouldn't
telling me about We need to edit this out. You
gonna share, people share because I love I'm here to
share my special.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I'm here to share tip.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah if you if you don't even like comedy, why
maybe I talk about pizza in the special? You never know?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I talk about barbecue.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh okay, so I talk about how barbecue has gotten
too sexual because now every barbecue placed his name Big
Daddy's Meat Shack or Little Dicky smoke House. You walk in,
they say.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Here a Big Daddy's meat. We treat you right.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
We let hickory and pecan edge on meat for sixty
teen hours. Then we served them too wet with our
three sauces, regular, spicy.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You know my tits.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Please, I just want to pull port sandwich. I'm trying
to pull some part. That's okay, you did it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I love. I love ribs. Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I'm from Mississippi, so Mississippi's barbecue legacy is a bit
closer to Memphis, so we love a Memphis style ribs.
Rodney bout Neely's quirkies. I'm an amateur barbecue storian, so
I love a rib. I also will love some brisket.
I went Terry Blacks in Austin, had some amazing brisket.
They had to roll me out.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah, I love.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I went to Slaps in Kansas City. I had burning
ribs when I was at slaps with Caleb Hairing, very
funny Halp hair and I we were at slaps. I've
said it before, I'll say it again. There was a
baby and there with no teeth sucking on the rib.
That baby was taking that rib down. That baby was
taking that rib, said Jay, that's there, that's meat waning
(10:34):
or that's like, that's teething, because like when you country,
you just be like, look the baby head of rib.
Baby some pork, and.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
That baby was happy too. I'm sure a fat baby.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I love to see a baby smile eating food.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Said this the other to day.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I love babies eating, and I love when babies have
fat right here.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
On the on the little forearm. It is so cute.
And then and then they grab stuff with that superhuman baby. Yeah,
try try to take that rid about the babies. The
people will funck you up. Okay, wait, okay, you won
the game, by the way, you win a lollipop and
(11:18):
well hold on, we did. We finished the game, right, Okay,
So if you have prompts email tell me a gmail
dot com. Speaking of wit, this is good, Okay, can
you tell us something messy? Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I think that this current uptick in stand up comedians
making fun of trans women is then because they hate
trans women. It's because these trans women have raised their prices.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Hey talk about it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I think that the reason that so many people feel
comfortable making fun of trans women in comedy is because
it's not that they're it's not that they hate trans women.
They see trans women as transactional figures and as sex workers.
So they're they're real focusing on misogyny and they're really
(12:02):
focusing on making fun of like, oh, this gender identity
and gender expression stuff. But what they're kind of like
telling them themselves about is that, oh, you treat this
women the same way. So you you're just mad that
these girls are either charging more or you're not getting
attention from these girls, or you're mad that someone might
telling you. Because the undue focus on trans women over
(12:23):
the past few years is crazy.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
When you think about you go, I.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Think that these men, specifically these men who kind of
are always making fun of transferment, it's like they're they're
bits now.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And I think.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
We're close to some trans women breaking some NDAs eventually,
and I hope that happened. I wanted to have ones
he bad.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I wanted to have them bad because I think I
think you're it's I just saw like another video was
if somebody was stitching a video. But it's like even
these podcasts now, like there's just so many, just like
people are, There's so much to focus on in the world,
and yet these men are sitting on these podcasts talking
each other about trans not only that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Like, the thing that bugs me about any sort of
undo focused on trans individuals, particularly the school conversation, is
it's always like, oh, are these people taking advantage of
loopholes that they can dominate women's sports. It's never like,
wait a second, this twelve year old girl wants to
be able to.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Play soccer with her friends.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yes, because it goes to these places that I think
are hyperbolic, and sometimes comedy is very funny when it's
containing some hyperbole. But this is the kind of stuff
that I don't know. It isolates people I don't I truly,
I truly cannot ever fathom caring about middle school sports
unless I have a child who's like, oh, I want
(13:39):
to play. And you have to remember those trans kids
and those kids who are dealing with their own gender
identity and expression journeys, they have parents. So it's it's
like a it's like a weird it's very weird. Especially
as a performer as a person did theater, you do it,
you do a stand up baby you're just doing theater, baby,
You're just doing theater.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
We both just put on makeup before we went to stay. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah, you know you're not the manliest man.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So I always think about that, Like how in school, Uh,
when youre in theater, it was like all the gay kids,
but when you come to Hollywood or whatever and everyone
suddenly straight.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, baby, you're doing the same. It's a monologue. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Taylor Sheridan, you just medea.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yellowstone is just media yellow Yellowstone
is a nighttime soap opera. Yeah, it's all it's the
Younger Restless, it's all my children.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yeah, it was some oil.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
You know that.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You're right, You're wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I don't. I don't think that the gay porn.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I watch it straight just because it's cowboys talk about it.
I'm just saying it's straight in the beginning because he's like,
I love you and kids his wife.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, but then the little flip happened. Okay, now wait,
let me ask you this. Tell me about yesterday. Have
your special that is out now on Hulu, tell us
about it.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think as a celebration of all things black queer
in Southern it was an incredibly fun special reform in
the city of New Orleans. I was so happy that
Comedy Dynamics and nine came together and made that happen.
I've been working on some of these jokes for three years,
so it was also a celebration and kind of a
great sendoff for this material because right now I'm on
tour with a completely different hour, So if you see me,
(15:32):
you get to see this new hour and you can
go home and watch yes, ma'am. So it was a
really cool opportunity. I love stand up comedy. I also
don't think we should seed this much territory to people
who think stand up comedy is just for evil boys.
Now I go no, lets some fun queer people do
stand up and make sure it gets disseminated and the
(15:53):
masses can watch us.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
They can see how good it is.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I was really happy about this special also because they
got to do the dirty version of some of the
jokes I'd done on TV clean. It's so many jokes.
I think I have like a metronome in my head,
so I shoot for around like a laugh every twelve
to fifteen seconds, so it's like two hundred laughs in
this It's rapid fire it's so funny, it's so heartfelt.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I mean, I make I say I'm not.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Gonna make fun of everyone, and then I make fun
of everyone, make fun of queer man, make fun of
buy man. I make fun of gay people, I make
fun of lesbians, I make fun of non binary people,
I make fun of trans people, but all in.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
The best way.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I literally, I had a joke and I was like,
is this gonna be? I go, this is the one
where I really want to see if people like it.
My husband, he came out to me recently, is not binary.
I said, how can I say? Is there anything funny here?
I said, oh, ok, yeah, my husband he's not binary.
He uses he day pronounced. That means he usually feels
like a boy unless there's a bug in the house.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Get out of my studio. Love you read me? Now?
Yes that is true? What is the bug? I love you?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Know you hear me.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
They are scared.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
They're very scared. But I think that, like, my approach
is both intimate respect. So I'm intimately familiar with all
of these permittations of being queer, but I'm also very respectful,
and that's what sometimes is missing from jokes about groups
that you are not a part of fu mailarity, respect,
(17:22):
and basically me knowing at the end of the day,
you're a good enough person. Because if I make fun
of trans people as a as a CIS person, I
better be dropped with some coins. So in some foundations,
that better be some donations going on. And these jokes
better be so good. I want to do them in
(17:42):
front of trans people. That's the goal. I never want
to do a joke about people and be scared to
do it in front of them. I have a joke
about Joe Rogan in this New Hour.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I hope one that he gets to see it.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
What does laughter mean to you? I guess like, oh,
study comedy. There's a freedom there.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I want you to let out your big ass country
laugh at my show. I want you to let out
your shrill laugh that people tell you, hey, stop laughing
so loud at my show. I want There's a woman
in a special we left it in her life. She's
got one of these laughs. I love a laugh like that.
Laugh like that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Infered me off a little bit.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I said, Okay, oh, she having a good times. She has.
She had a couple of dacories, a couple of hurricanes,
but I love a laugh because it is it's an unmasking.
You have given yourself over to joy and you can't
maintain whatever you're trying to fight, so to say. And
it's connected to the reason I never was in the
(18:44):
closet on stage. Some people had to I understand some people.
I mean a person who I think of, who I'm
so happy that she came out when she came out,
was want of sikes. I don't do stand up comedy
without wanting.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, both literally and figured has been integral to media
when stand up, both from like giving me shout outs
and I was like asking me to do stuff, and
like she was one of the first people I.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Saw do explicitly queer stand up. And I literally was
in grad school and I was like showing I'm gonna
be me to my students during like the comedy session.
But I was never in the clouds on stage because
my laugh and my mannerisms would have betrayed me. And
I never wanted the audience or other stand up comedians.
I think they had something on me. I was like, no,
(19:26):
I'm a big old sissy.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
From the beginning.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Let's talk about it straight, y'all, straight, boring y'all storage
is the same. All y'all digs don't work. So and if
you dick ain't working, maybe you ain't straight.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, I feel like I said, hey, if you see
y'all dig not working, if you sit your girlfriend being
on the video come to death, row, you were wild?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You are So I was never.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I was never in the clouset on stage. And sometimes
even I didn't.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I didn't say the only thing I said about gay
people on my last tonight show up here at the
very end. And that's just a straight boys, just to
be like, just so you know, I ain't talking about me.
I'm talking about y'all seeus. So I think that laughter
is not only unifying, it's spring, but it's also so individualistic.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Everyone's laugh is so different.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Jesse David Fox has this book called Comedy Book, and
it's very funny, and I you know, for disclosure, I am,
I'm in it.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
But at the very beginning.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He talks about how like chimps laugh, butnobo's laugh, rats laugh,
There is a a couple of animals laugh. So there's
something joyful about not necessarily knowing how to deal with
something laughter. You're confused, your brain sort of short circuits
(20:47):
and I love laughs.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I it it feels like permission to be silly. I
feel like as we get older, everyone hardens, and so
laughter feels like a way to just like melt. I
love it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Shall we do some email?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Oh yes, gorgeous? As always, your submissions remain anonymous. Okay,
so this one's said discreet and discreet. Maybe this one
says I want to experience my first orgy.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Any advice? Okay, yeah, yeah, here's okay. So you are
going to an event where there's gonna be group sex. Yes,
you have to have you can't walk in see neggad
People like, oh no, you need to.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Have that in your head. That's fair because people really don't.
They don't really the conceptualize yeah, orgy, but they forget
they've sanitized it and they've removed it from the body
and made it this like kind of like very kind
of brain exercise. Physically.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
You were going to a party where people are going
to be having sex in front of you. Yeah, you know, if, if,
if you want, you want with you. So that's the first.
So get ready for some sounds and some smells.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I think I don't know why you ain't ready for
sounds and smells. That's tear.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I think people have a very poor because what they
think they're gonna hear is the music they see when
they watch it on the Yes, yes, and it's not that.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Baby. You might hear some music, but you gonna hear
hear some You're gonna hear some some flesh.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You're gonna hear.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Some hot flesh. Getting you go here to talk about laughter,
you hear some moan. You're gonna hear some mo here,
some laughs. Here's some last dude, you might hear, So
get ready for the noises.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Also enthusiastic consent, not even like I don't know, like
like let's get to it. Also, I don't know if
this person well because it's anonymous, I don't know where
they fee. For queer people, this is a bit easier.
If you're a straight person that's going to an orgy,
it's gonna be talk straight, am I right?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
They just not right? You understand straight people's orgies.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I I really do want them to happen more for them,
But whenever they hear about like a gay bar with
the dark room, they lose it. And I'm always like, oh, so,
y'all aren't having y'all kind of y'all real.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
But now they're into poppers, so I feel like there's
hope for them.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Well that was straight, I mean that was mostly Charlie
XX and Rachel sent and giving them out every time
they were at a club.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But now the straights of love do. I feel like
maybe they'll love a dark room eventually.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
But that's what I'm saying because straights, they go, oh wow,
why do so many clubs happen? And so people can
fucking and so at this club, at the club hearted
you know, the club, We're not gonna club exactly sexual
convenient sext to me. So I think that, you know,
(23:58):
if you are a queer person and like, you're gonna
have a lot of these to go to. If you're
a straight person, you know, find a reputable one and
find what you really like.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I went to one that was so I thought it
was gonna be queer, but it was actually it was
queer women and straight men. So I didn't have the
best vibe, but I love the funny part. And some
men who were like, you know sometimes sometimes yes, yeah, yes, yes,
there are a couple of that are sometimes. But there
are a couple that were very very you know stress.
(24:29):
But what I liked about it was that there were
a lot of one. It felt like the women were
in charge. So like there was a lot of.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Like which, hey as a best actual I don't hate.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
You know you'll be a charge.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Detroit de Troit got their first mayor who's a woman.
And between Gression Wimmer and the mayor and Detroit, tell
me what's dumb?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Me love? Yeah, So they like they went through like rules,
they went through you know, like the expectations and so
like I feel like that is super help. I like
sex parties like that where they're like there's a politic
around yeah, and there's there's really clear communication and clear guideline.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You know what. Here's another thing. Tell me they said orgy, Yeah,
they said org. What's their orgy starting number?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So I always say it's five or more because you
have five five there's five, so like its six. The
sounds crazy, six six some, seven some eighth. Now we're on,
it's like five or more. I'll give you five some.
But like once it's six of us, we're an orginary twice. Okay, Yeah,
that's right, that's correct. That spot on okay, beautiful. This
(25:41):
one says, I love my partner deeply, they're my best friend,
my person. But every now and then someone new will
flirt with me, and I feel that rush of spark
I haven't felt in a long time. I don't act
on it, but I like the attention. It makes me
feel wanted in a way that's different. Then I feel guilty,
like I've already cheated just by enjoying it. Can you
crave other people's and still call it loyalty or just
(26:02):
desire itself? Cross a line? What do you think?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I think that you are tying yourself up in knots
over a feeling that is so human. I think you're
brave enough to articulate it, and you might even be
brave enough to say, what would I do with these
feelings of guilt I have regarding this, But everyone, regardless
of the relationship status or the level of monogamy in
(26:25):
their relationship, has felt this. I think the scary part
about this is you need someone to talk to about this,
or you will start like blaming yourself if you think
you've flirted too much. I don't like the blame of like, oh,
I should have never flirted my interaction with people. They
swing wildly from like just kind of informational to what
(26:46):
I thought was flirty to what they thought was flirty.
And god forbid you work in hospitality management tables. What
I'm winking?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So guilty? I flirted?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Hey money hunh?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Get that love? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Five star review. I don't think you should feel guilty.
I think you should talk to your partner about why
you like dirty energy. I think this is a perfect
I think this is a perfect opportunity to introduce a
little bit of role play.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I don't know, you don't know me. We just showed
up at this hotel. What's up? You want to play
with strangers?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Guess what?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I'm a stranger. I absolutely what makes change? Change a wig,
Change the wig.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Listen everything you must be putting in some work. Get
that lady, Come on, love a girl. My man, my
man following.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
The carousels and I'm just like, damn, he must put it,
Jesus Christ. This happy shan't never talked about a man
like usually talking about trying to funk my daddy, running
through the mill with my daddy.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Megan usually is, but uncle, now she got my man, man, God,
my man, She's go she's from Houston. She's supporting a
Dallas basketball team. That is heresy that from Houston. She's
probably at the Rockets game. She had the Mavericks game.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Hell points were made. That is connected.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
You be mad, your partner will be Clay And that's
gender inclusive because I know a lot of studs they
look like Clay Tom come on educational show.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
I think that it's it is what's the word I
want to use? Naive to think that you wouldn't feel
a spark with somebody else because it actually is, like
we've talked about this on the show where the first
year or so of a relationship is like the honeymoon
fans and they've studied the brain.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It literally looks like you're on cocaine, but then fades
after that year.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
So you should because I was okay, tell the truth.
It makes it look like that's great. You want to
start a business and listen, O sorry you know, not
sorry anything.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
That is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Okay, business, we can be drug lords. I feel like this.
I would probably do it anyways. Football.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
It would be naive to think that you will not
be attracted to other people. And I have to fallacy.
Even if you're monogamous, it's like, yeah, you're gonna attracting
other people and it's gonna feel good, and as long
as you're not breaking the boundaries of.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
What you and your partner agree on. I don't think
that there's you know, you know, let's go even bigger.
I do not like this idea that society is going
to shame you for flirting with someone else. We cannot
live in such a panical time that you being kind
to another person, because it's a gradient you being kind
(29:56):
and paying attention to someone else, it's seen as some
sort of infidelity. I know that this person is saying, oh,
I like it when people talk to me, unless there
starts to be very kind of like explicit, and if
it starts to border into like, oh this person wants
(30:17):
to sleep with me, I want to sleep with them.
I'm feeling some type of way. And even then even then,
tell me, I don't know if I've ever been in
a relationship where I didn't at least have those feelings
and deal with them and still go back to my partner.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
You're human. I think physological responses don't necessarily your body
isn't betraying your commitment to this other person. Your body
is just being a body, and that's tea right, Yes,
And it's actually easier for you to engage and communicate
than try to change your body.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You cannot change that, going to have that And that's
like the any way to say it, the kind of
dirty way to tell me you saw that ass.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Listen, you saw that ass?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
To you plug your eye. I don't want you to
keep looking.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
You're looking for far away and I've been squatting so.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
That God, I really hope this isn't some sort of
indication of where jen Alfa and GenZ are headed. But
you should not feel guilty. You should not feel guilty.
This callar I really as you get scared. Yeah, it's
sort of very dogmatic, puritanical sex negative swing that is
occurring with younger people because of a lack of interaction
(31:39):
and because of furthering online isolation. I don't like to
me like I feel bad. Better, I feel bad. Don't
feel bad. You bet are that ass was great? Because great?
And guess what it's women who they go to a job,
they come home, they cook, they clean, they take care
of this man's kids and every week they get to
(31:59):
go to the grocery store. And there's a twenty five
year old in that grocery store with good arms who
says you look twenty and she laughs and says, you
know that's not true. And they take those groceries to
the car and that's it, and that's all she's gonna
get from that man. But guess what that makes her day.
She feels good. She walks home and.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
You know what, man, sometimes she sucks your dick because
she's thinking about him.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And I don't mind.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
You got a blow job because of that twenty five
year old. So you need to say thank you. Thank
you to the twenty five year old. Thank you to
that grocery store period, thank you, whole foods. Okay, hold fashion.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I let this dl plumber give me some head. We
do have the range here.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Say it again. I let come hold feshion. I let
this d O plumber give me some head. Yeah no,
he won't. Now he won't leave me alone. Texting me
from different numbers to your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Don't get your sink figs.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I don't know. Oh no, what you do?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
You motherfucker said this ship to brag? Oh no, I
let this listen Brandon branded. I let this man get
me hair one time, he blowing my phone up? What
am I to do? Have you ever encountered?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Have you ever forgotted this? God won't give you more
than you can have. He calling me from different phones.
You know it just so good?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
And you know I decided to waste Jay's time by
sending this whole fashion. You want me to brag about
the good head I got when I got off the
plane and my husband happened to see me.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
I'm not just bragging. We ain't just quick.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
A whole fashion you have? You have?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I love a whole fashion. If we can help you,
you're just bragging. You got your dick sud We can
help you. You got you got you, you got your kiddy a,
you got head?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, you're Rightlius is a little humble brand, a brag bran.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Am I crazy?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
No, No, you're bragging.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
You're right. Nothing we could do just oh no this
the old plumber gave me head and he won't stop.
He wants it.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Yeah. Oh so you're telling me, so you're telling me.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
That you can get your toilet fixed and you're okay,
I see no problems here. Yeah, what jeez.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You know, there's a there's a wealth inequality gap in
this country when it comes to getting head. Listen, I'm
I'm a billionaire, but some people ain't.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Don't you say? Stuff in It's people who wish they
were getting had from their plumber, but they aren't. But
they're not. They're not. That's true. And you bragging you
you help those people your possibility model. You're letting us
know that it is possible, it's possible to find a
plumber to give you. And we thank you for that.
(35:04):
We thank you, We thank you for this whole passion,
this fashion. You are being the change. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Also also supporting blue collar jobs. Hey, go to trade school,
get a trade, coming up a business, get trying sucking
some trade.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
There we go, period, All right, well, well they really
sent that in, Like I don't know what to do.
I don't I'm so confused. What you know, I thought
we could help and we did. I think we did.
You just getting more head, get more head, just yeah,
(35:41):
you know that you got that good dick, and be
careful where you you got that good You got those
good genitals. We don't know, we don't know, you know,
you said DL so you taught on yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah, you're taught on.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yourself and you told on that man, Hey send the photo.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Okay, all right, shall we make do one last mess?
And so it's act here.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
I'll ask you a question and you can answer it
in one sentence or a whole or two sentences, anything
you know. Okay, So, which celebrity or fictional character could
ruin your life? And you say thank you? Oh oh
you got one? Oh no, you got you don't have one?
I have you have one? Tell me I have one.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I'm this is it's close to my heart. I love
the X Men. Okay, yes, I'm not saying that this
causes queerness. Okay, okay, But but Gambit's pink body armor
in the animated series was like, abs, I'm.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Gonna look it up right now. Gambit remy Lebau. He
could ruin my life. There's also a world where Rogue
could ruin my life.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
But in Storm but also Storm, but also I wrote
I wrote for Storm, so I love Storm, but like
and I respect Storm, but uh, Gambit, that was gam
was also like he had stubble, he smoked, he was
so yeah, a trench coat, that's what That's what that's
what by sexual men do they have trench coats.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
They smoke.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Period theod Yeah, yeah, okay, that's a good one. That's
a great one. Oh my goodness. What is your most irrational? Ick?
Speaker 1 (37:26):
My most irrational? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
What have I seen people do that makes me just go, oh,
I don't got to uh because that's what to me.
It isn't like I'm having second thoughts and Nick is like, oh,
I don't gotta fuck you.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Mm hmm. If you are m m, I'll be putting
up with a lot. I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
That's what That's what I'm realizing. I'm thinking of. I'm
thinking of some people who I have.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Like some boundaries. Oh, if you if you.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Like don't like comic books, okay, I think that if
you think comic books and like anything animated, I think
if you go it's all stupid, I'll let you be like, oh,
some of this is childish. But like when people like
ship on comic books anime, like when they shoot on
adult animation, when they shoot on like an entire version
(38:25):
of the thing, go, well, some of this has to
be good. I like a lot of it, but like
some of it has to be good because like the inverse.
It's kind of like, no one would say that about
live action media, so saying that about animated media and
the animated like medium is.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I kind of go, hmmm. I think it's a great
ack and I stand by that. Yes, you like pictures.
Pictures are cool.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Picture Jesus Christ cartoon that was guess what the cave
man liked? Yeah, and they're here, and they're here through you.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Whatever you think that people are doing in live action,
it's pretty cool to see a drawn started started.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And you can make it more surrealist, you can make
it more extreme.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
You can. You can fuck with shit. I love that.
What's the first song? You sorry? What's the show? You'll
take it them? What's the show? You'll defend to the
grave even if it doesn't need defending. So it could
be a great show. But you're like, oh my show.
I mean everyone's saying girls, But I stand in that
truth too. Girl.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, I actually I really it not only holds up
it it's funny, it's real and you kind of I
don't know if you. I think if you didn't like
girls and your complaint was like, oh, like they gentrified,
but I was like, well, okay, well that's different than
not liking the show. What were these Gentrifriers kind of
(39:45):
funny and yes, and they were they did get and
I couldn't say that I moved here in twenty fifteen
like these Gingerfriers. It canna be like, yay, you are
signing your lease. Yeah, neighborhood, it would be more. You
mean actors a TV show that I'll I oh, I
(40:07):
mean we talked about Gargoyles.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
They're so good.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I think Gargoyles can rewatch it so damn good. That's
a TV show I'll always defend. I defend Wishbone because
I'm Wishbone. I'd watch Gargoyles and Wishbone and then Garden. Yeah,
Maniacs too, Animatiacs very some great adult comedy on Animax. Futurama,
specifically the Jurassic Bark episode I'll defend, but also just
(40:33):
cry every time I see it. That's someone about Seymour,
the dog who stays behind for fry, but also like
is inspired by I think the story of an.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Aikida Eu or maybe or Anikita.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
In Japan that like waited at the bus stop where
it's like owner used to wait like after there the
owner died and it like kept going back and it
was like the most loyal dog. And so there's a
fut druma episode about that, oh where Fry finds a
dog named Seymour, and then when Fry gets flung into
the future scene we found out Seymore waited for him.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
It's very sweet. Yeah, okay, what's the first song you
play if you hijacked the oxcord right now? Ooh?
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Probably track tien Pop two Charlie XCX track ten unfinished
before she put Liz on it and tried to make
an actual song. But it was like such a good
album only song.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Track ten to me, I had a photo shoot we
put on Pop two. I was like, this song this
album is it's two thousand. I think it's twenty seventeen,
but uh, track ten?
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Close second? What is like? I literally tell me right now?
See what was I? Who did I listened to when
I walked in? Okay? I was in the download this
song session?
Speaker 2 (41:53):
So oh okay, I've been listening to swag by Justin
Bieber a lot, all right, wasn't expecting lovely? I love
Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber reminds you that you remember that
kids you went to high school with, and he was
like so popular and so fun and so he you know,
he and his girl. They say together, community college, baseball, scholarship. Okay,
(42:16):
you go back home. Now, you go to the gas station
in the daytime. You see somebody out there in shorts,
a hoodie, tank top and a beanie flip flops. You
go all another person, they got a beard or smoking
outside mountain dew in. They hand you look in their eyes.
You go, wait a second, do we go to high
school together? You see seventeen year old them through the eyes,
(42:38):
You go, justin, That's what Justin Bieber makes me feel about.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
That's how I feel about Hi. You know what I'm saying.
That's Justin Bieber to me. I go, I know when
to school with? Ah, that's you.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Hell them kids know I'm good? All right, all right,
you sound good boy?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
The music.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Yeah, we don't need to talk period.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Okay. If you could whisper one messy piece of advice
into the world's ear, what would it be.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Your grandma was a hoe, but like so was your mom,
so were you. To someone, we are all more promiscuous
than we should be. So to somebody your grandma was
a hoe, that's deed. So so it's okay.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
So it's okay, okay, it's like it's okay, you're not
doing anything new. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
So if you're like, oh, somebody's standard, you are, yeah,
specifically for this podcast, because to me, that's like something
that in my comedy I play with, like expectations and
like sexuality a lot.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
You are a.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Whole and you also are not. Yeah, but by that
logic everyone falls somewhere in there. So to somebody, your
grandma was a who, and so are you? So what
does it mean now? Everybody to somebody, to people, to somebody,
and to some people.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
They go, Jason Vanilla, I go, you're chalking me right now, Vanilla,
you got your arms around here. Last questionally, what do
you love most about yourself? Oh? My goodness. I love
my smile, but I also love my I love my
(44:30):
I like my laugh. I talked about laughs earlier.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I got like a big old country laugh and sometimes
it's just like annoying. But I love my smile and
I love my laugh, which is probably why I went
in to the comedy. And I have a comedy special in
South November only Hulu.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
You can watch it right now.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Jay Jerden the specials called yes ma'am, Yeah, Yes, ma'am,
Thank you so much for being here, Thank you for
having me, and yes, ma'am it is gender neutral.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Anybody who gets married like Daddy Daddy in the New
Trio too, so work, Thank you so much, thank you
for having me. Well, you know we're hose here, but
hose with heart. So before we part ways, let me
(45:19):
speak to yours. I fucking love hanging out with Jay.
It's our first time meeting a person. I'm a huge fan,
been following them for years and it was so exciting
to finally get to talk to them. Listen, whenever we
have comedians on the show, I sometimes have to remember
to stay present because I just want to watch them talk.
I just be like in my head, like, damn, that's funny,
(45:39):
that's good, Like I'm getting my own free show, and
I forget that I do have to interview. So Jay
is one of those people. I love how his brain works,
I love his point of view, I love his style.
So please make sure you watch Yes ma'am on Hulu.
But let's talk about some of the things that I'm
taking away. One. I really love him talking about this
uptick of comedians talking about transfolks and this idea of
(46:01):
talking about communities that you're not in and how do
you talk about them. I really love when you said,
I want to make jokes about other communities, but make
sure that I can do the jokes in front of
them that they are in on the joke, and that
is so important. I think. I also heard Jay talk
about how like cruelty has become comedy and that those
that should not be the case, right, that cruelty is
not funny, that we have to I think, and I
(46:23):
think this is somebody who's in comedy like Expand, not Expand,
but really sharpen the definition of what is funny. Just
because people are laughing does not mean is good.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
You know what I'm saying. Just because you.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Are punching down or making something that's racist or transphobic,
or homophobic or xenophobic, whatever it is, doesn't make it funny.
I think that I think that we're in really difficult
and hard times where comedians are getting these platforms that
are or getting money or building these careers off of
(46:56):
tearing down others, and y'all know who those comedians are,
and no shout outs to them. What also really stuck
out for me with Jay is, you know, this conversation
around trans folks and trans kids in sports and like
missing the humanity of it's just a girl who wants
to hang out with her friends, you know what I'm
(47:17):
saying that, like, we are making all of this, all
of this rhetoric and all of this vitriol and all
of this anger and defamation around trans people who just
want to be treated as human, who just want to
spend time with their friends, who just want to go
to the fucking bathroom.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And I know I'm preaching to the choir.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
But it's worth saying because as much of the opposite
that's being said, we also have to say the true shit.
We have to say the real shit to counteract. You
know what I'm saying the importance of laughing. You know,
I think that we're talking about the joy of laughing
and the silliness of laughing, and as we get older
and things harder and we get harder, just taking the
(47:59):
time to laugh, because it really I think it activates
your inner child, because when we were younger, we would
laugh all the time. You kids, you laugh everything, right,
And then you get older and like you start to
you know, have to have to be a thug. You know,
we don't cry, we don't do this, but that laughter
is actually a part of your life source. That laughter
is a part of your freedom and your liberation, the
(48:22):
willingness to lab. I remember I heard somebody say I
don't trust a motherfucker who doesn't laugh, and I agree.
A person who won't laugh, who refuses to laugh, who
try to ciple a laugh, I'm like, what's going on
in their babe? Laughter is your your access to your heart.
It's an access to your inner child. It's an access
to your freedom. So don't be afraid of being silly.
(48:44):
You know, I do this show right now, this is
coming out this week. I'm doing the show ho Church,
and you know, I can watch the audience, like the
audiences with me. You know, sometimes they can be really
tough at the at the top because I'm you know,
bringing out dick puppets and I'm doing really silly things.
But then as the show goes on, they start to
melt because it's like, yeah, it's okay, we could be silly.
(49:04):
By this point, you know that we lick donuts in
the show because I show you how to ask using donuts.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
It's very fucking.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Silly, you know what I'm saying. And I think that
that's important that we have spaces to just allow ourselves
as adults to be silly, to laugh, to giggle, Oh god,
I love a good giggle. And the last thing is
you should not feel guilty about being attracted to someone else.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this,
you know, based on that question that we were answering, Like,
you know, listen, even if you're in a monogamous relationship,
(49:33):
we got eyes, We be seeing people, We be desiring people.
People be funny, they be sweet, they be sexy. You
know what I'm saying. Just because you're dating somebody, you're
married to somebody, does not mean that suddenly you are
not attracted to other people.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
And so it is okay.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It's okay to desire other people. It's what you do
about it, right, Like, don't you know if you have
a relationship and the rules are we are just the
two of us. Yeah, don't go fucking nobody else. But like,
don't get in your head or feel guilty about feeling
attracted to us their folks, I don't know where that's
coming from or where or where that I do know
where it comes from. It comes from our puritanical society,
(50:08):
and so I just want to give you permission to
lay that down. That's not your burden to bear. You're
allowed to be attracted to other people. Whatever the rules
are with your relationship with your partners, you know, define those,
but don't try and stifle or deny that you might
be attracted to other people. That is just human, that
is just your body. That's physiological, and that's okay, babe, Okay.
(50:29):
I love you so much. What did you learn?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
What are your takeaways?
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Email me at tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com.
I can't wait to hear from you. Love you may
Thank you so much for listening to tell Me Something Messy.
If you all enjoyed the show, send the episode to
someone else you might like it. Tell Me Something Messy
was executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins and Yours Truly.
(50:52):
Our producer and editor is Vince de Johnny. The video
of tell Me Something Messy is produced by Des Lombardo.
And a special thank you to Natalie Brandham who helps
you organize and come up with some of this mess
tell Me Something Messy is a production of iHeart Podcasts
on the Outspoken Network. For more podcasts, listen on the
free iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
You're listening to tell Me Something Messy with Brandon, Kyle
Goodman and iHeart podcasts on the Outspoken Network. Talking about relationships,
sex and identity always reminds me that being a human
is messy. So I wanted to create a compassionate space
where we could feel less alone and embrace our mess together,
the funny, the vulnerable, the cringe, and even the kinky,
(00:21):
because every part of who we are matters. So don't
be shy, baby, tell me something messy. Messy patrons, come on, baby,
welcome to the show. I am your messy mom, Brandon
Kyle Goodman, and you know what that means. It is
time for a guest. Now, while they get situated, we
will get our messy. Key Key started with a hoe
manifest stove, so repeat after me aloud or in your head.
(00:44):
Grant me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage
to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not
about penetration, the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and
my boundaries, the strength to not call my ex that
fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they, for it is
better to masturbate by myself in peace than to let
(01:06):
someone play in my mother fucking face. Let the community
say hollelujah. Today we've got the one and only Jay Jorden,
Mississippi born New York based comedian, writer and actor. He's
shown up on The Tonight Show, The Late Show with
Stephen Colbert and wrote on the Problem with John Stewart.
(01:26):
Jay's debut comedy special, Yes Ma'am, is now exclusively available
on Hulu Now. Jay's humor, his sharp whip, his perspective
is bold, and he loves mess just as much as
we do. So y'all please help me. Welcome into our
messy living room. Jay Jordin, Hi, Jay.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
How are you? Oh good? I like your cardigan?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I love cardigan cozy?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
An age thing?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Are we getting older?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Was a little age thing. It's also pan sexuality and
bisexuality awareness. Cardigans are bisexual sweaters tell me, tell me
more because they are a sweater but also open to
yeah yeah, and non binary. They because there is an
age where everyone starts to put on cardigans regardless of
(02:11):
where you fall on the gender.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Spec That's true.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Cardigans are not only allies, they are members of the community.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You better preached. Just listen.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
We come in hot, you're educated. Yes, I love that.
I love it's also I am old.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
That's the thing. I am old.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Someone was like, oh, j nothing old. I said, listen,
I'm older than the mayor right now.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
That's real. Listen, listen, I can.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I can call it on right now and say, look
at your young I got something to tell you. You man, look,
put your birches up. First of all, I'm glad you're
wearing a suit. You can go out there and T shirts.
The shirts, good suit, hard bottom shoes.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Be nice. That lady, that woman, why gorgeous?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Gor talk about it? She is stunning.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I want her on the cover.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
She's so beautiful. That's why he decided to run. He said,
y'all got to see this. Somebody got this.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But he he's gorgeous, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I can't I can't wait to look at them for
four years. It is very funny that everyone goes policy, policy, policy, policy,
Make sure Americans can live, make sure New Yorkers can
afford things.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
And be cute. Hell a little bit. It's not the
most we gotta look at you. Just be cute.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
It's a little cute.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Just be cute.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Showing up at Poppy Juice and to a yo yo yo.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That was a flex. He was thinking. If I were
probably just said two am, you know, I wouldn't even
say who's the man? Said, who's this sexy brown man?
Who's the sexy brown man in this suit?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
He got a job?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
They has a mayor.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I go, okay, mayhor manos, I'm learning Spanish, may of
my whole.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Before we get too far, city.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Not city hall city, holl wow, very well, take you
six traw very well.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Okay, hold on, let's do our messy mandates. Okay, to
be on process. Any opinions are thought shared, have the
right to shift change today, tomorrow, ten.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Years from now.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
And if during our kiky something feels too personal unintentionally offense,
we use the safe word foosball, which gives us second
to pivot and address accordingly. Yes, let's talk about well,
you talk about your card again, and I have to
find a way to talk about my jacket. Yes, your jacket? Now?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Which care is the camera whide I'm seeing camera?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
In two thousands, sports bra d them said yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, whoa black Betty Boom black?
And Betty Boom said black, Betty, that's gorgeous. Also on Broadway,
she's played by black Girl. Yeah, yeah, we did it.
Which this was this. I asked for this. So my
my best friend from college, her aunt makes these custom jackets,
(04:58):
and so I asked for a black baby booth. And
then if I only got it, and I was like,
people are probably gonna think I was talking about the
musical and I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
But but Synchronicity made billions of dollars, being like, actually
I was talking about that, so yeah, I actually this
is merch. Come on, this is exclusive. That's when something
the blue bootleg. It's not.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
It isn't it's not boutleg. This is the one on one.
This is one. I am number one.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Hey hey, hey, when you have the money, this is designed.
You better check the tag. When you have the coin,
they can get it. Get this, honey, it's custom.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
You can't get this one.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Shall we play alue breaker. Let's play. Let's do it
alue breaker today. We're gonna play liquor in. I'll give
you a prompt and you tell me if you would
lick it. If it's dope work, it's an okay. A
ceiling fan? Ceiling fan? Is that a liquoric for you.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
If it's clean. If it's clean, it's a it's a lick. Okay,
if if you see the dust on the ceiling fan
when you walk in the room and you see it
up there in that dark, it's a yeah, it's a
little bit of an ick. It's I love circulation. I
assume if if I'm going to that room, something I
(06:06):
want is in there, something we want is gonna take
place in there. Maybe it goes so well. We need
the ceiling fans turn on, move some of this air around.
It's getting stagnant.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
We gotta cut through this, yea little bit. It feels
like Florida, You gotta. It's too human.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's me and a Republican con and I go, hey,
payment up front, Wow wow Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah. See I I'm an ick on a ceiling fan,
but I'm ana lick on cleaning a ceiling. Oh yeah,
I feel accomplished.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And yeah, because that is a thick layer. That's a
thick layer of dust. Dust love ceiling where it all
goes goes straight to the ceiling fan. It sees it.
It's like, oh, ceiling fancumulates.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, okay, all right, I just I feel like I
want an a c Yeah, that ceiling fan ain't doing it,
and I need the.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Pluggin fan that has some wow, that has some turbulent.
Ceiling fans are also hard because of this ce I am.
I'm gonna lick, but the lowercase l because there is
one thing ceiling fans. Once again showing my age, like
I said, I'm older than Yeah, you know the click
(07:19):
click once, click once, it's click twice, now three times.
Maybe she's not a lot faster.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You don't know, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And then if I gotta wait to know because now
I'm here clicking all the time and don't get tangled.
And the second one is for the light, I'm pulling
the light. Oh yes, which one is it?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
The longer one? Now I'm I'm puppeteering, working for the
Magic Kingdom. I'm I'm at the line king on Broadway
moving the giraffes.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I don't want you to maso typical. But if you
are black performer, you have gotten that call back.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You know you've been there. I want that call back.
I pray for it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Liquor, left over pepperoni pizza, left over pepperoni pizza. There's
only it's only one way to reheat pizza. Talk tell
me what is your way to reheat it? I go
frying pan. Oh, I go frying pan. He with oil, Yeah,
with olive oil, and then that Yeah, so then I'm
(08:28):
putting the crust down facing the crust is down. Then
after that gets heated through, I flip it over, put
that cheese down. That cheese is getting cooked again. That's
how I heat up. And then if it's pepperoni, there,
the pepperoni is getting cressed up, cram so leftover pepperoni pizza. Sure, yeah,
this is a cooking show. I just I just put
(08:50):
it back in the air fier. Okay, but I used.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
To olive oil spread. I'm smart?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Is the that is the way to do it?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, I think my way is a bit of old school.
And my way was a secret. I'm actually I shouldn't
telling me about We need to edit this out. You
gonna share, people share because I love I'm here to
share my special.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I'm here to share tip.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah if you if you don't even like comedy, why
maybe I talk about pizza in the special? You never know?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I talk about barbecue.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh okay, so I talk about how barbecue has gotten
too sexual because now every barbecue placed his name Big
Daddy's Meat Shack or Little Dicky smoke House. You walk in,
they say.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Here a Big Daddy's meat. We treat you right.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
We let hickory and pecan edge on meat for sixty
teen hours. Then we served them too wet with our
three sauces, regular, spicy.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You know my tits.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Please, I just want to pull port sandwich. I'm trying
to pull some part. That's okay, you did it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I love. I love ribs. Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I'm from Mississippi, so Mississippi's barbecue legacy is a bit
closer to Memphis, so we love a Memphis style ribs.
Rodney bout Neely's quirkies. I'm an amateur barbecue storian, so
I love a rib. I also will love some brisket.
I went Terry Blacks in Austin, had some amazing brisket.
They had to roll me out.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah, I love.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I went to Slaps in Kansas City. I had burning
ribs when I was at slaps with Caleb Hairing, very
funny Halp hair and I we were at slaps. I've
said it before, I'll say it again. There was a
baby and there with no teeth sucking on the rib.
That baby was taking that rib down. That baby was
taking that rib, said Jay, that's there, that's meat waning
(10:34):
or that's like, that's teething, because like when you country,
you just be like, look the baby head of rib.
Baby some pork, and.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
That baby was happy too. I'm sure a fat baby.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I love to see a baby smile eating food.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Said this the other to day.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I love babies eating, and I love when babies have
fat right here.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
On the on the little forearm. It is so cute.
And then and then they grab stuff with that superhuman baby. Yeah,
try try to take that rid about the babies. The
people will funck you up. Okay, wait, okay, you won
the game, by the way, you win a lollipop and
(11:18):
well hold on, we did. We finished the game, right, Okay,
So if you have prompts email tell me a gmail
dot com. Speaking of wit, this is good, Okay, can
you tell us something messy? Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I think that this current uptick in stand up comedians
making fun of trans women is then because they hate
trans women. It's because these trans women have raised their prices.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Hey talk about it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I think that the reason that so many people feel
comfortable making fun of trans women in comedy is because
it's not that they're it's not that they hate trans women.
They see trans women as transactional figures and as sex workers.
So they're they're real focusing on misogyny and they're really
(12:02):
focusing on making fun of like, oh, this gender identity
and gender expression stuff. But what they're kind of like
telling them themselves about is that, oh, you treat this
women the same way. So you you're just mad that
these girls are either charging more or you're not getting
attention from these girls, or you're mad that someone might
telling you. Because the undue focus on trans women over
(12:23):
the past few years is crazy.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
When you think about you go, I.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Think that these men, specifically these men who kind of
are always making fun of transferment, it's like they're they're
bits now.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And I think.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
We're close to some trans women breaking some NDAs eventually,
and I hope that happened. I wanted to have ones
he bad.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I wanted to have them bad because I think I
think you're it's I just saw like another video was
if somebody was stitching a video. But it's like even
these podcasts now, like there's just so many, just like
people are, There's so much to focus on in the world,
and yet these men are sitting on these podcasts talking
each other about trans not only that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Like, the thing that bugs me about any sort of
undo focused on trans individuals, particularly the school conversation, is
it's always like, oh, are these people taking advantage of
loopholes that they can dominate women's sports. It's never like,
wait a second, this twelve year old girl wants to
be able to.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Play soccer with her friends.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yes, because it goes to these places that I think
are hyperbolic, and sometimes comedy is very funny when it's
containing some hyperbole. But this is the kind of stuff
that I don't know. It isolates people I don't I truly,
I truly cannot ever fathom caring about middle school sports
unless I have a child who's like, oh, I want
(13:39):
to play. And you have to remember those trans kids
and those kids who are dealing with their own gender
identity and expression journeys, they have parents. So it's it's
like a it's like a weird it's very weird. Especially
as a performer as a person did theater, you do it,
you do a stand up baby you're just doing theater, baby,
You're just doing theater.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
We both just put on makeup before we went to stay. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah, you know you're not the manliest man.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So I always think about that, Like how in school, Uh,
when youre in theater, it was like all the gay kids,
but when you come to Hollywood or whatever and everyone
suddenly straight.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, baby, you're doing the same. It's a monologue. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Taylor Sheridan, you just medea.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yellowstone is just media yellow Yellowstone
is a nighttime soap opera. Yeah, it's all it's the
Younger Restless, it's all my children.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yeah, it was some oil.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
You know that.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You're right, You're wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I don't. I don't think that the gay porn.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I watch it straight just because it's cowboys talk about it.
I'm just saying it's straight in the beginning because he's like,
I love you and kids his wife.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, but then the little flip happened. Okay, now wait,
let me ask you this. Tell me about yesterday. Have
your special that is out now on Hulu, tell us
about it.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think as a celebration of all things black queer
in Southern it was an incredibly fun special reform in
the city of New Orleans. I was so happy that
Comedy Dynamics and nine came together and made that happen.
I've been working on some of these jokes for three years,
so it was also a celebration and kind of a
great sendoff for this material because right now I'm on
tour with a completely different hour, So if you see me,
(15:32):
you get to see this new hour and you can
go home and watch yes, ma'am. So it was a
really cool opportunity. I love stand up comedy. I also
don't think we should seed this much territory to people
who think stand up comedy is just for evil boys.
Now I go no, lets some fun queer people do
stand up and make sure it gets disseminated and the
(15:53):
masses can watch us.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
They can see how good it is.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I was really happy about this special also because they
got to do the dirty version of some of the
jokes I'd done on TV clean. It's so many jokes.
I think I have like a metronome in my head,
so I shoot for around like a laugh every twelve
to fifteen seconds, so it's like two hundred laughs in
this It's rapid fire it's so funny, it's so heartfelt.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I mean, I make I say I'm not.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Gonna make fun of everyone, and then I make fun
of everyone, make fun of queer man, make fun of
buy man. I make fun of gay people, I make
fun of lesbians, I make fun of non binary people,
I make fun of trans people, but all in.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
The best way.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I literally, I had a joke and I was like,
is this gonna be? I go, this is the one
where I really want to see if people like it.
My husband, he came out to me recently, is not binary.
I said, how can I say? Is there anything funny here?
I said, oh, ok, yeah, my husband he's not binary.
He uses he day pronounced. That means he usually feels
like a boy unless there's a bug in the house.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Get out of my studio. Love you read me? Now?
Yes that is true? What is the bug? I love you?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Know you hear me.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
They are scared.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
They're very scared. But I think that, like, my approach
is both intimate respect. So I'm intimately familiar with all
of these permittations of being queer, but I'm also very respectful,
and that's what sometimes is missing from jokes about groups
that you are not a part of fu mailarity, respect,
(17:22):
and basically me knowing at the end of the day,
you're a good enough person. Because if I make fun
of trans people as a as a CIS person, I
better be dropped with some coins. So in some foundations,
that better be some donations going on. And these jokes
better be so good. I want to do them in
(17:42):
front of trans people. That's the goal. I never want
to do a joke about people and be scared to
do it in front of them. I have a joke
about Joe Rogan in this New Hour.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I hope one that he gets to see it.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
What does laughter mean to you? I guess like, oh,
study comedy. There's a freedom there.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I want you to let out your big ass country
laugh at my show. I want you to let out
your shrill laugh that people tell you, hey, stop laughing
so loud at my show. I want There's a woman
in a special we left it in her life. She's
got one of these laughs. I love a laugh like that.
Laugh like that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Infered me off a little bit.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I said, Okay, oh, she having a good times. She has.
She had a couple of dacories, a couple of hurricanes,
but I love a laugh because it is it's an unmasking.
You have given yourself over to joy and you can't
maintain whatever you're trying to fight, so to say. And
it's connected to the reason I never was in the
(18:44):
closet on stage. Some people had to I understand some people.
I mean a person who I think of, who I'm
so happy that she came out when she came out,
was want of sikes. I don't do stand up comedy
without wanting.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, both literally and figured has been integral to media
when stand up, both from like giving me shout outs
and I was like asking me to do stuff, and
like she was one of the first people I.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Saw do explicitly queer stand up. And I literally was
in grad school and I was like showing I'm gonna
be me to my students during like the comedy session.
But I was never in the clouds on stage because
my laugh and my mannerisms would have betrayed me. And
I never wanted the audience or other stand up comedians.
I think they had something on me. I was like, no,
(19:26):
I'm a big old sissy.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
From the beginning.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Let's talk about it straight, y'all, straight, boring y'all storage
is the same. All y'all digs don't work. So and if
you dick ain't working, maybe you ain't straight.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, I feel like I said, hey, if you see
y'all dig not working, if you sit your girlfriend being
on the video come to death, row, you were wild?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You are So I was never.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I was never in the clouset on stage. And sometimes
even I didn't.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I didn't say the only thing I said about gay
people on my last tonight show up here at the
very end. And that's just a straight boys, just to
be like, just so you know, I ain't talking about me.
I'm talking about y'all seeus. So I think that laughter
is not only unifying, it's spring, but it's also so individualistic.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Everyone's laugh is so different.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Jesse David Fox has this book called Comedy Book, and
it's very funny, and I you know, for disclosure, I am,
I'm in it.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
But at the very beginning.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He talks about how like chimps laugh, butnobo's laugh, rats laugh,
There is a a couple of animals laugh. So there's
something joyful about not necessarily knowing how to deal with
something laughter. You're confused, your brain sort of short circuits
(20:47):
and I love laughs.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I it it feels like permission to be silly. I
feel like as we get older, everyone hardens, and so
laughter feels like a way to just like melt. I
love it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Shall we do some email?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Oh yes, gorgeous? As always, your submissions remain anonymous. Okay,
so this one's said discreet and discreet. Maybe this one
says I want to experience my first orgy.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Any advice? Okay, yeah, yeah, here's okay. So you are
going to an event where there's gonna be group sex. Yes,
you have to have you can't walk in see neggad
People like, oh no, you need to.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Have that in your head. That's fair because people really don't.
They don't really the conceptualize yeah, orgy, but they forget
they've sanitized it and they've removed it from the body
and made it this like kind of like very kind
of brain exercise. Physically.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
You were going to a party where people are going
to be having sex in front of you. Yeah, you know, if, if,
if you want, you want with you. So that's the first.
So get ready for some sounds and some smells.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I think I don't know why you ain't ready for
sounds and smells. That's tear.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I think people have a very poor because what they
think they're gonna hear is the music they see when
they watch it on the Yes, yes, and it's not that.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Baby. You might hear some music, but you gonna hear
hear some You're gonna hear some some flesh.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You're gonna hear.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Some hot flesh. Getting you go here to talk about laughter,
you hear some moan. You're gonna hear some mo here,
some laughs. Here's some last dude, you might hear, So
get ready for the noises.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Also enthusiastic consent, not even like I don't know, like
like let's get to it. Also, I don't know if
this person well because it's anonymous, I don't know where
they fee. For queer people, this is a bit easier.
If you're a straight person that's going to an orgy,
it's gonna be talk straight, am I right?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
They just not right? You understand straight people's orgies.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I I really do want them to happen more for them,
But whenever they hear about like a gay bar with
the dark room, they lose it. And I'm always like, oh, so,
y'all aren't having y'all kind of y'all real.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
But now they're into poppers, so I feel like there's
hope for them.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Well that was straight, I mean that was mostly Charlie
XX and Rachel sent and giving them out every time
they were at a club.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But now the straights of love do. I feel like
maybe they'll love a dark room eventually.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
But that's what I'm saying because straights, they go, oh wow,
why do so many clubs happen? And so people can
fucking and so at this club, at the club hearted
you know, the club, We're not gonna club exactly sexual
convenient sext to me. So I think that, you know,
(23:58):
if you are a queer person and like, you're gonna
have a lot of these to go to. If you're
a straight person, you know, find a reputable one and
find what you really like.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I went to one that was so I thought it
was gonna be queer, but it was actually it was
queer women and straight men. So I didn't have the
best vibe, but I love the funny part. And some
men who were like, you know sometimes sometimes yes, yeah, yes, yes,
there are a couple of that are sometimes. But there
are a couple that were very very you know stress.
(24:29):
But what I liked about it was that there were
a lot of one. It felt like the women were
in charge. So like there was a lot of.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Like which, hey as a best actual I don't hate.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
You know you'll be a charge.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Detroit de Troit got their first mayor who's a woman.
And between Gression Wimmer and the mayor and Detroit, tell
me what's dumb?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Me love? Yeah, So they like they went through like rules,
they went through you know, like the expectations and so
like I feel like that is super help. I like
sex parties like that where they're like there's a politic
around yeah, and there's there's really clear communication and clear guideline.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You know what. Here's another thing. Tell me they said orgy, Yeah,
they said org. What's their orgy starting number?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So I always say it's five or more because you
have five five there's five, so like its six. The
sounds crazy, six six some, seven some eighth. Now we're on,
it's like five or more. I'll give you five some.
But like once it's six of us, we're an orginary twice. Okay, Yeah,
that's right, that's correct. That spot on okay, beautiful. This
(25:41):
one says, I love my partner deeply, they're my best friend,
my person. But every now and then someone new will
flirt with me, and I feel that rush of spark
I haven't felt in a long time. I don't act
on it, but I like the attention. It makes me
feel wanted in a way that's different. Then I feel guilty,
like I've already cheated just by enjoying it. Can you
crave other people's and still call it loyalty or just
(26:02):
desire itself? Cross a line? What do you think?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I think that you are tying yourself up in knots
over a feeling that is so human. I think you're
brave enough to articulate it, and you might even be
brave enough to say, what would I do with these
feelings of guilt I have regarding this, But everyone, regardless
of the relationship status or the level of monogamy in
(26:25):
their relationship, has felt this. I think the scary part
about this is you need someone to talk to about this,
or you will start like blaming yourself if you think
you've flirted too much. I don't like the blame of like, oh,
I should have never flirted my interaction with people. They
swing wildly from like just kind of informational to what
(26:46):
I thought was flirty to what they thought was flirty.
And god forbid you work in hospitality management tables. What
I'm winking?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So guilty? I flirted?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Hey money hunh?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Get that love? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Five star review. I don't think you should feel guilty.
I think you should talk to your partner about why
you like dirty energy. I think this is a perfect
I think this is a perfect opportunity to introduce a
little bit of role play.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I don't know, you don't know me. We just showed
up at this hotel. What's up? You want to play
with strangers?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Guess what?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I'm a stranger. I absolutely what makes change? Change a wig,
Change the wig.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Listen everything you must be putting in some work. Get
that lady, Come on, love a girl. My man, my
man following.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
The carousels and I'm just like, damn, he must put it,
Jesus Christ. This happy shan't never talked about a man
like usually talking about trying to funk my daddy, running
through the mill with my daddy.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Megan usually is, but uncle, now she got my man, man, God,
my man, She's go she's from Houston. She's supporting a
Dallas basketball team. That is heresy that from Houston. She's
probably at the Rockets game. She had the Mavericks game.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Hell points were made. That is connected.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
You be mad, your partner will be Clay And that's
gender inclusive because I know a lot of studs they
look like Clay Tom come on educational show.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
I think that it's it is what's the word I
want to use? Naive to think that you wouldn't feel
a spark with somebody else because it actually is, like
we've talked about this on the show where the first
year or so of a relationship is like the honeymoon
fans and they've studied the brain.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It literally looks like you're on cocaine, but then fades
after that year.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
So you should because I was okay, tell the truth.
It makes it look like that's great. You want to
start a business and listen, O sorry you know, not
sorry anything.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
That is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Okay, business, we can be drug lords. I feel like this.
I would probably do it anyways. Football.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
It would be naive to think that you will not
be attracted to other people. And I have to fallacy.
Even if you're monogamous, it's like, yeah, you're gonna attracting
other people and it's gonna feel good, and as long
as you're not breaking the boundaries of.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
What you and your partner agree on. I don't think
that there's you know, you know, let's go even bigger.
I do not like this idea that society is going
to shame you for flirting with someone else. We cannot
live in such a panical time that you being kind
to another person, because it's a gradient you being kind
(29:56):
and paying attention to someone else, it's seen as some
sort of infidelity. I know that this person is saying, oh,
I like it when people talk to me, unless there
starts to be very kind of like explicit, and if
it starts to border into like, oh this person wants
(30:17):
to sleep with me, I want to sleep with them.
I'm feeling some type of way. And even then even then,
tell me, I don't know if I've ever been in
a relationship where I didn't at least have those feelings
and deal with them and still go back to my partner.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
You're human. I think physological responses don't necessarily your body
isn't betraying your commitment to this other person. Your body
is just being a body, and that's tea right, Yes,
And it's actually easier for you to engage and communicate
than try to change your body.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You cannot change that, going to have that And that's
like the any way to say it, the kind of
dirty way to tell me you saw that ass.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Listen, you saw that ass?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
To you plug your eye. I don't want you to
keep looking.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
You're looking for far away and I've been squatting so.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
That God, I really hope this isn't some sort of
indication of where jen Alfa and GenZ are headed. But
you should not feel guilty. You should not feel guilty.
This callar I really as you get scared. Yeah, it's
sort of very dogmatic, puritanical sex negative swing that is
occurring with younger people because of a lack of interaction
(31:39):
and because of furthering online isolation. I don't like to
me like I feel bad. Better, I feel bad. Don't
feel bad. You bet are that ass was great? Because great?
And guess what it's women who they go to a job,
they come home, they cook, they clean, they take care
of this man's kids and every week they get to
(31:59):
go to the grocery store. And there's a twenty five
year old in that grocery store with good arms who
says you look twenty and she laughs and says, you
know that's not true. And they take those groceries to
the car and that's it, and that's all she's gonna
get from that man. But guess what that makes her day.
She feels good. She walks home and.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
You know what, man, sometimes she sucks your dick because
she's thinking about him.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And I don't mind.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
You got a blow job because of that twenty five
year old. So you need to say thank you. Thank
you to the twenty five year old. Thank you to
that grocery store period, thank you, whole foods. Okay, hold fashion.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I let this dl plumber give me some head. We
do have the range here.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Say it again. I let come hold feshion. I let
this d O plumber give me some head. Yeah no,
he won't. Now he won't leave me alone. Texting me
from different numbers to your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Don't get your sink figs.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I don't know. Oh no, what you do?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
You motherfucker said this ship to brag? Oh no, I
let this listen Brandon branded. I let this man get
me hair one time, he blowing my phone up? What
am I to do? Have you ever encountered?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Have you ever forgotted this? God won't give you more
than you can have. He calling me from different phones.
You know it just so good?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
And you know I decided to waste Jay's time by
sending this whole fashion. You want me to brag about
the good head I got when I got off the
plane and my husband happened to see me.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
I'm not just bragging. We ain't just quick.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
A whole fashion you have? You have?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I love a whole fashion. If we can help you,
you're just bragging. You got your dick sud We can
help you. You got you got you, you got your kiddy a,
you got head?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, you're Rightlius is a little humble brand, a brag bran.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Am I crazy?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
No, No, you're bragging.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
You're right. Nothing we could do just oh no this
the old plumber gave me head and he won't stop.
He wants it.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Yeah. Oh so you're telling me, so you're telling me.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
That you can get your toilet fixed and you're okay,
I see no problems here. Yeah, what jeez.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You know, there's a there's a wealth inequality gap in
this country when it comes to getting head. Listen, I'm
I'm a billionaire, but some people ain't.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Don't you say? Stuff in It's people who wish they
were getting had from their plumber, but they aren't. But
they're not. They're not. That's true. And you bragging you
you help those people your possibility model. You're letting us
know that it is possible, it's possible to find a
plumber to give you. And we thank you for that.
(35:04):
We thank you, We thank you for this whole passion,
this fashion. You are being the change. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Also also supporting blue collar jobs. Hey, go to trade school,
get a trade, coming up a business, get trying sucking
some trade.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
There we go, period, All right, well, well they really
sent that in, Like I don't know what to do.
I don't I'm so confused. What you know, I thought
we could help and we did. I think we did.
You just getting more head, get more head, just yeah,
(35:41):
you know that you got that good dick, and be
careful where you you got that good You got those
good genitals. We don't know, we don't know, you know,
you said DL so you taught on yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah, you're taught on.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yourself and you told on that man, Hey send the photo.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Okay, all right, shall we make do one last mess?
And so it's act here.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
I'll ask you a question and you can answer it
in one sentence or a whole or two sentences, anything
you know. Okay, So, which celebrity or fictional character could
ruin your life? And you say thank you? Oh oh
you got one? Oh no, you got you don't have one?
I have you have one? Tell me I have one.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I'm this is it's close to my heart. I love
the X Men. Okay, yes, I'm not saying that this
causes queerness. Okay, okay, But but Gambit's pink body armor
in the animated series was like, abs, I'm.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Gonna look it up right now. Gambit remy Lebau. He
could ruin my life. There's also a world where Rogue
could ruin my life.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
But in Storm but also Storm, but also I wrote
I wrote for Storm, so I love Storm, but like
and I respect Storm, but uh, Gambit, that was gam
was also like he had stubble, he smoked, he was
so yeah, a trench coat, that's what That's what that's
what by sexual men do they have trench coats.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
They smoke.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Period theod Yeah, yeah, okay, that's a good one. That's
a great one. Oh my goodness. What is your most irrational? Ick?
Speaker 1 (37:26):
My most irrational? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
What have I seen people do that makes me just go, oh,
I don't got to uh because that's what to me.
It isn't like I'm having second thoughts and Nick is like, oh,
I don't gotta fuck you.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Mm hmm. If you are m m, I'll be putting
up with a lot. I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
That's what That's what I'm realizing. I'm thinking of. I'm
thinking of some people who I have.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Like some boundaries. Oh, if you if you.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Like don't like comic books, okay, I think that if
you think comic books and like anything animated, I think
if you go it's all stupid, I'll let you be like, oh,
some of this is childish. But like when people like
ship on comic books anime, like when they shoot on
adult animation, when they shoot on like an entire version
(38:25):
of the thing, go, well, some of this has to
be good. I like a lot of it, but like
some of it has to be good because like the inverse.
It's kind of like, no one would say that about
live action media, so saying that about animated media and
the animated like medium is.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I kind of go, hmmm. I think it's a great
ack and I stand by that. Yes, you like pictures.
Pictures are cool.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Picture Jesus Christ cartoon that was guess what the cave
man liked? Yeah, and they're here, and they're here through you.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Whatever you think that people are doing in live action,
it's pretty cool to see a drawn started started.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And you can make it more surrealist, you can make
it more extreme.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
You can. You can fuck with shit. I love that.
What's the first song? You sorry? What's the show? You'll
take it them? What's the show? You'll defend to the
grave even if it doesn't need defending. So it could
be a great show. But you're like, oh my show.
I mean everyone's saying girls, But I stand in that
truth too. Girl.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, I actually I really it not only holds up
it it's funny, it's real and you kind of I
don't know if you. I think if you didn't like
girls and your complaint was like, oh, like they gentrified,
but I was like, well, okay, well that's different than
not liking the show. What were these Gentrifriers kind of
(39:45):
funny and yes, and they were they did get and
I couldn't say that I moved here in twenty fifteen
like these Gingerfriers. It canna be like, yay, you are
signing your lease. Yeah, neighborhood, it would be more. You
mean actors a TV show that I'll I oh, I
(40:07):
mean we talked about Gargoyles.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
They're so good.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I think Gargoyles can rewatch it so damn good. That's
a TV show I'll always defend. I defend Wishbone because
I'm Wishbone. I'd watch Gargoyles and Wishbone and then Garden. Yeah,
Maniacs too, Animatiacs very some great adult comedy on Animax. Futurama,
specifically the Jurassic Bark episode I'll defend, but also just
(40:33):
cry every time I see it. That's someone about Seymour,
the dog who stays behind for fry, but also like
is inspired by I think the story of an.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Aikida Eu or maybe or Anikita.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
In Japan that like waited at the bus stop where
it's like owner used to wait like after there the
owner died and it like kept going back and it
was like the most loyal dog. And so there's a
fut druma episode about that, oh where Fry finds a
dog named Seymour, and then when Fry gets flung into
the future scene we found out Seymore waited for him.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
It's very sweet. Yeah, okay, what's the first song you
play if you hijacked the oxcord right now? Ooh?
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Probably track tien Pop two Charlie XCX track ten unfinished
before she put Liz on it and tried to make
an actual song. But it was like such a good
album only song.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Track ten to me, I had a photo shoot we
put on Pop two. I was like, this song this
album is it's two thousand. I think it's twenty seventeen,
but uh, track ten?
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Close second? What is like? I literally tell me right now?
See what was I? Who did I listened to when
I walked in? Okay? I was in the download this
song session?
Speaker 2 (41:53):
So oh okay, I've been listening to swag by Justin
Bieber a lot, all right, wasn't expecting lovely? I love
Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber reminds you that you remember that
kids you went to high school with, and he was
like so popular and so fun and so he you know,
he and his girl. They say together, community college, baseball, scholarship. Okay,
(42:16):
you go back home. Now, you go to the gas station
in the daytime. You see somebody out there in shorts,
a hoodie, tank top and a beanie flip flops. You
go all another person, they got a beard or smoking
outside mountain dew in. They hand you look in their eyes.
You go, wait a second, do we go to high
school together? You see seventeen year old them through the eyes,
(42:38):
You go, justin, That's what Justin Bieber makes me feel about.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
That's how I feel about Hi. You know what I'm saying.
That's Justin Bieber to me. I go, I know when
to school with? Ah, that's you.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Hell them kids know I'm good? All right, all right,
you sound good boy?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
The music.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Yeah, we don't need to talk period.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Okay. If you could whisper one messy piece of advice
into the world's ear, what would it be.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Your grandma was a hoe, but like so was your mom,
so were you. To someone, we are all more promiscuous
than we should be. So to somebody your grandma was
a hoe, that's deed. So so it's okay.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
So it's okay, okay, it's like it's okay, you're not
doing anything new. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
So if you're like, oh, somebody's standard, you are, yeah,
specifically for this podcast, because to me, that's like something
that in my comedy I play with, like expectations and
like sexuality a lot.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
You are a.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Whole and you also are not. Yeah, but by that
logic everyone falls somewhere in there. So to somebody, your
grandma was a who, and so are you? So what
does it mean now? Everybody to somebody, to people, to somebody,
and to some people.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
They go, Jason Vanilla, I go, you're chalking me right now, Vanilla,
you got your arms around here. Last questionally, what do
you love most about yourself? Oh? My goodness. I love
my smile, but I also love my I love my
(44:30):
I like my laugh. I talked about laughs earlier.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I got like a big old country laugh and sometimes
it's just like annoying. But I love my smile and
I love my laugh, which is probably why I went
in to the comedy. And I have a comedy special in
South November only Hulu.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
You can watch it right now.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Jay Jerden the specials called yes ma'am, Yeah, Yes, ma'am,
Thank you so much for being here, Thank you for
having me, and yes, ma'am it is gender neutral.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Anybody who gets married like Daddy Daddy in the New
Trio too, so work, Thank you so much, thank you
for having me. Well, you know we're hose here, but
hose with heart. So before we part ways, let me
(45:19):
speak to yours. I fucking love hanging out with Jay.
It's our first time meeting a person. I'm a huge fan,
been following them for years and it was so exciting
to finally get to talk to them. Listen, whenever we
have comedians on the show, I sometimes have to remember
to stay present because I just want to watch them talk.
I just be like in my head, like, damn, that's funny,
(45:39):
that's good, Like I'm getting my own free show, and
I forget that I do have to interview. So Jay
is one of those people. I love how his brain works,
I love his point of view, I love his style.
So please make sure you watch Yes ma'am on Hulu.
But let's talk about some of the things that I'm
taking away. One. I really love him talking about this
uptick of comedians talking about transfolks and this idea of
(46:01):
talking about communities that you're not in and how do
you talk about them. I really love when you said,
I want to make jokes about other communities, but make
sure that I can do the jokes in front of
them that they are in on the joke, and that
is so important. I think. I also heard Jay talk
about how like cruelty has become comedy and that those
that should not be the case, right, that cruelty is
not funny, that we have to I think, and I
(46:23):
think this is somebody who's in comedy like Expand, not Expand,
but really sharpen the definition of what is funny. Just
because people are laughing does not mean is good.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
You know what I'm saying. Just because you.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Are punching down or making something that's racist or transphobic,
or homophobic or xenophobic, whatever it is, doesn't make it funny.
I think that I think that we're in really difficult
and hard times where comedians are getting these platforms that
are or getting money or building these careers off of
(46:56):
tearing down others, and y'all know who those comedians are,
and no shout outs to them. What also really stuck
out for me with Jay is, you know, this conversation
around trans folks and trans kids in sports and like
missing the humanity of it's just a girl who wants
to hang out with her friends, you know what I'm
(47:17):
saying that, like, we are making all of this, all
of this rhetoric and all of this vitriol and all
of this anger and defamation around trans people who just
want to be treated as human, who just want to
spend time with their friends, who just want to go
to the fucking bathroom.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And I know I'm preaching to the choir.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
But it's worth saying because as much of the opposite
that's being said, we also have to say the true shit.
We have to say the real shit to counteract. You
know what I'm saying the importance of laughing. You know,
I think that we're talking about the joy of laughing
and the silliness of laughing, and as we get older
and things harder and we get harder, just taking the
(47:59):
time to laugh, because it really I think it activates
your inner child, because when we were younger, we would
laugh all the time. You kids, you laugh everything, right,
And then you get older and like you start to
you know, have to have to be a thug. You know,
we don't cry, we don't do this, but that laughter
is actually a part of your life source. That laughter
is a part of your freedom and your liberation, the
(48:22):
willingness to lab. I remember I heard somebody say I
don't trust a motherfucker who doesn't laugh, and I agree.
A person who won't laugh, who refuses to laugh, who
try to ciple a laugh, I'm like, what's going on
in their babe? Laughter is your your access to your heart.
It's an access to your inner child. It's an access
to your freedom. So don't be afraid of being silly.
(48:44):
You know, I do this show right now, this is
coming out this week. I'm doing the show ho Church,
and you know, I can watch the audience, like the
audiences with me. You know, sometimes they can be really
tough at the at the top because I'm you know,
bringing out dick puppets and I'm doing really silly things.
But then as the show goes on, they start to
melt because it's like, yeah, it's okay, we could be silly.
(49:04):
By this point, you know that we lick donuts in
the show because I show you how to ask using donuts.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
It's very fucking.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Silly, you know what I'm saying. And I think that
that's important that we have spaces to just allow ourselves
as adults to be silly, to laugh, to giggle, Oh god,
I love a good giggle. And the last thing is
you should not feel guilty about being attracted to someone else.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but this,
you know, based on that question that we were answering, Like,
you know, listen, even if you're in a monogamous relationship,
(49:33):
we got eyes, We be seeing people, We be desiring people.
People be funny, they be sweet, they be sexy. You
know what I'm saying. Just because you're dating somebody, you're
married to somebody, does not mean that suddenly you are
not attracted to other people.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
And so it is okay.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It's okay to desire other people. It's what you do
about it, right, Like, don't you know if you have
a relationship and the rules are we are just the
two of us. Yeah, don't go fucking nobody else. But like,
don't get in your head or feel guilty about feeling
attracted to us their folks, I don't know where that's
coming from or where or where that I do know
where it comes from. It comes from our puritanical society,
(50:08):
and so I just want to give you permission to
lay that down. That's not your burden to bear. You're
allowed to be attracted to other people. Whatever the rules
are with your relationship with your partners, you know, define those,
but don't try and stifle or deny that you might
be attracted to other people. That is just human, that
is just your body. That's physiological, and that's okay, babe, Okay.
(50:29):
I love you so much. What did you learn?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
What are your takeaways?
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Email me at tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com.
I can't wait to hear from you. Love you may
Thank you so much for listening to tell Me Something Messy.
If you all enjoyed the show, send the episode to
someone else you might like it. Tell Me Something Messy
was executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins and Yours Truly.
(50:52):
Our producer and editor is Vince de Johnny. The video
of tell Me Something Messy is produced by Des Lombardo.
And a special thank you to Natalie Brandham who helps
you organize and come up with some of this mess
tell Me Something Messy is a production of iHeart Podcasts
on the Outspoken Network. For more podcasts, listen on the
free iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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