Re-Release: Wayne Brady

Enjoy this re-release of one of our favorite episodes from season one! New episodes back starting January 6th. Happy holidays!

Ego's very special dad of the day is none other than the great Emmy-award winning Wayne Brady! Wayne joins Ego to talk about being raised by his grandmother, finding the balance between being your child's parent and best friend, and his ROTC days as an outlet for singing and dancing. Ego then asks for some "dadvice" about whether or not she should be aiming to buy properties.

Want some advice from Ego and her guest? Leave a message at [phone] (THX-DADS)!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Okay, my next guest Dad for the day, is moistured
up and down. And I'm so happy because we both
did the same thing before we started recording, which means
we really just might be kin. Hi guys, I may
goo odem and welcome to thanks Dad. I was raised
by single mom. I do not have a relationship with

(00:27):
my dad, and I'm not gonna have a relationship with
him because, oh my gosh, he went and died.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
So lord, oh my lord, oh my lord.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's okay. Wait and it's okay. Don't be worried for me.
You look nervous now.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
I was like, oh, no, that's what I've stepped into.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
No, when I tell you, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
So on this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures
who are old enough to be my dad or just
dads themselves. We will never say which category our guests
are in, and I'm gonna get to ask the questions
I've always wanted to ask a dad, like how do
I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me?
Or what should I look out for when I'm buying
a car? Or is it actually a wise investment to

(01:06):
buy a house?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Is it really People.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Always say that but anyway, before we get into that
the hard stuff, you know, my next guest from the
Emmy winning television series whose line is it anyway, The
Wayne Brady Show and his newest reality series, Wayne Brady
The Family Remix, please welcome my Dad for the Day.
You guessed it because I said it already, Wayne Brady.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Hey, two things. Yes, the show Din Win the Emmys.
I won all the Emmys the showd In Win. That
was me. Just to clarify.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
I am so glad you're clarifying. And I'm about to
throw someone under a big old bus because I didn't
write that intro. But you know, I love that you
have clarified because there is a difference and people outside
the industry especially don't seem to know that. But you
won the Emmy and that's a huge deal. So yeah,
it's a big deal. And especially because i'm your dad

(01:59):
for the day.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
You know the thing that I've taught my daughter that
I will pass on to you as my daughter for
the day, which is always weird when a beautiful woman
calls you dad and then you're like, oh, which category
I fit in? Old enough to be your dad? Or dad? Dad? Advice?
As this is not daddy. Then it gets the changes,
the conversation.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Daddy get weird.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
But yeah, the thing I'll tell you is for a
lot of my life, and I think that a lot
of black people and end up doing this is we
work to be successful depending on the environment where you're from.
You you were raised by a single mother. I was
raised by my grandmother Oka after my grandfather passed away
and my father was a distant, sad light, so I

(02:43):
was raised by her. So basically a single mom. And
my folks is from the US Virgin Islands, so I
have the island hustle and mentality of the immigrants. You struggle,
you work, you want to be the best. You want
to be the best. You kick assid things, but then
you can't always sound too proud of those things because
then somebody's like you arrogant or you can see that.

(03:04):
So I spent a lot of my life and a
lot of my career when someone would say, oh, you're
really good at this, I would downplay everything and I
would make myself small. Yeah, so I reached a point
where I went, you know what, if I truly did
win this accolade, and if I actually can do if
I actually can sing, dance, act right, produce, do this shit,

(03:28):
and that's my skill set and I do it well.
It's not arrogant for me in certain spaces to own
that because there are other people who have done far
less and have bigger mouths and they eat off of that.
And I'm over here trying to be polite to make
the people in the room comfortable because they because I
don't want a rah rah. Well, that's why anytime that

(03:50):
my publicist I do a show, you better make sure
that my introduction is five time Amy winning, two time
Grammy nominee Broadways Star, because those are things that I've done.
I cannot save your life. I'm not a doctor. I
can barely fix your car. I can't change a spare tire,
I can't really cook, okay, but I can do this shit.

(04:13):
So yes, dam so that's my lesson. Daughter, Walk in
your shine because you kill it. You are amazing and
the world needs to know that you're amazing, and that
is not a problem.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
You are so kind and so generous, and I love
that I am talking to you right now because speaking
of not wanting to come across as arrogant, it's this
interesting dance we do and it sounds like you did
for a long time where you go, oh, yeah, I
don't want to come off as arrogant and I don't
want to sound haughty, but you really worked towards these things,
and it's okay to be proud of them, and it's

(04:45):
okay to own them. And shrinking doesn't help anybody, really,
And mind you, if people are uncomfortable because you're accomplished,
my mom might say in that moment, the discomfort belongs
to them. Yeah, there is nothing wrong with you celebrating
your achievements. So I'm sincerely, from the depths of my heart,
so grateful that you clarified because you did that, you
work towards that, and no one handed any of that

(05:06):
to you. So to say, hey, let's acknowledge these things,
I don't have a problem with it. And I love
that my dad has all those statues, so listen, Well, well.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Thank you. That's a lesson that I had to teach
my daughter, especially being a young black woman. He's like, no,
you can be prot and she's so damn smart and talented,
and I'm never so at this age. She just turned
twenty two yesterday. I was like, I will not allow
you to make yourself smaller. For your boss, for someone

(05:34):
you work force full, for anyone you work with, for
any man that is in your life. Do not make
yourself small.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
That is wonderful, wonderful dad advice. And I'm just I'm truly,
I'm stopped in my tracks because I'm like, this is
what a young woman needs to hear and have instilled
in her from a very young age. And I feel
very grateful that my mother did, I believe, a fantastic
job raising her four children to be confident and believe
they can do whatever it is they want to do.
I think I am a testament to that, and I

(06:02):
think my siblings are as well. You seem to have
now found such clarity and confidence on your own here, okay,
but was there a point where you had any relationship
with your dad at all?

Speaker 3 (06:16):
No?

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, no, And.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
And here is the tragedy I feel, and a lot
of it. And to anybody watching, this is not to
perpetuate what I think is one of the most insidious
and overtly horrible stereotypes about black men in this country,
about black men are fathers and their absentee and they

(06:40):
leave and that it's not that I didn't have a
relationship with him because he was that. In fact, if anything,
my father earlier I was very specific to say that
he was a satellite. My father was in the military.
He was in the US Army, and like, when I
think of my dad, I think of like this black
Gi Joe type character, because that's who he was. He
was larger than life, like six two, big barrel chested dude,

(07:04):
bespoke multiple languages. My dad was brilliant because of where
he was and always being stationed someplace. He made the choice,
he and my grandmother, so that I would have the
island upbringing that he had that instilled certain vagues in him.
The downside of that is I didn't have a relationship
with him, and by the time that I became a

(07:25):
man and I was seeking that relationship, I remember clearly.
Oh and this turns into my Oprah moment.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Please please, I'm no Oprah, but please.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
I started acting when I was sixteen. I was so
proud of it. But even before then I knew I
wanted to perform. But your folks that yes, yes, yes, okay,
then we come from the same claw where if you
tell somebody from the Islands, Mama, I want to go
on stage and I want to sing and dance. Nonsense
that jump up and down nonsense That was not in

(08:00):
the plans for anyone. So even the relationship with my dad,
the closest that I got at one point as a
teenager is because Dad was in the military and we
couldn't talk. We had nothing in common. I felt he
was so big and masculine and I was this little,
skinny torpye kid that loved books and loved to draw
and create and do voices. So the one thing that

(08:20):
I could do that I could be like my dad
is I joined the ROTC in my school right because
I was like, Dad, look, I'm going in the ROTC
and I'm in a uniform too, and maybe we can
talk about things like that, and I can ask you
about my gigline and my head and all this stuff,
when really the theater kid in me was like, this
wasn't a uniform, It's a costume. And I loved to march.

(08:43):
I loved doing drills because that was the closest that
I got to dancing. Oh, So that was my way
of being close to him. And then we had a
big falling out when I graduated high school. Because I
didn't want to go to college. I got these scholarships
that were pissed at me because I turned down these
these scholarships schools, and I said, I want to act,
and I went on tour and finally, when I was nineteen,

(09:07):
I booked my first big guest starring role on this
show called In the Heat of the Night, this old drama,
and it was a two parter and it was directed
by Carol O'Connor, who your viewers are so young, nobody's
going to remember, like all in the family, but this
big sitcom and Carol O'Connor was a huge actor at
the time, and he's the one that cast me. It

(09:28):
was a big deal. I was in the paper back
in Orlando folks who are like local actor on a
big CBS show, blah blah blah. And we were shooting
in Covington, Georgia, which is where my dad settled, and
I got a chance. As I was shooting, I called
up my dad and said, Dad, I would love to
come and visit you. And you know, so I drive

(09:48):
out and I see him and we sat down and
we talked, and it was the first time in my
life that I remembered that I sat down and I
was able to have a face to face talk that
I wasn't scared that I didn't think that the only
time he talked to me was to discipline me. It
was I could sit across from him, man to man,
and he accepted me as a man. One of the

(10:08):
first things he said when I sat down, he goes, Junior,
because that's Wayne Brady. You're seeing you, Junior. I just
saw that you're going beyond that show with Archie Bunker.
I'm so proud of you. And he got on the
phone and he's calling different guys from his unit and
he's like, yeah, my boy's going to be on TV.
And he was asking me what it was like, ye

(10:30):
the process, and I said, oh, I'd love to have
you come out to set at some point and this
is what I do. And he hugged me. And it
wasn't a very long visit. I remember that because I
had to drive back and then I didn't see him again.
And then I moved to Los Angeles and about a
year and a half to two years later, he passed
a massive coronary. So to this day, I have a

(10:51):
hole where I have so many unanswered questions I don't
know him, so there are pieces of myself and behaviors
that I do that I don't know where they come from.
Right that, It's kind of like I wish that, you know,
I would have had my dad to be able to
walk walk walk me through life right right.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
First of all, I'm so sorry about that. I mean,
I'm right along for the ride, and I go, I
don't see it going that way. And I feel like,
oftentimes we feel like we have enough time, or we'll
have enough time for things to go differently, or for
relationships to shift with people, and then there are so
many variables that are just outside of our control. And
I just feels that, Yeah, that feels tragic to me.

(11:32):
But thank you for being so open in that regard
and to your point about there's so many parts about
you now that you go, I wonder if this is
from him. A few years ago, I had read a
friend's obituary about her father and maybe more less of
an obituary, more of a tribute on Instagram, but it
was really beautiful and they had a pretty frault relationship,
and in the caption I remember her saying, you know,

(11:56):
no matter who your father is, and she might have
been quoting someone and I might be bastard this, but
it was no matter who your father is, he's part
of you, and he's in.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
The way you hold a cup or hold a pen.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
And I thought, that's so crazy, because I've never thought
about my father in that regard because I feel whole myself.
But I go, surely there are parts of me that
are a reflection of him, even if he wasn't this
presence in my life, And so that mystery that you
have is one that I share with you. Are there
parts of you that you feel inclined to think are

(12:31):
from him?

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Though?

Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah, yeah, and not always positive. Sure, to be completely honest,
I feel that the positive things that I've gotten from him,
especially as I got a little older, is I do
feel that he was a provider and a protector, which
is why I really do hate that fucking pardon my French.

(12:54):
You know you're allowed to cuss this for pardon that
that stereotype that really lives with us with so many others,
because if that dude did anything, he took care of
his mother, who they had such an amazing relationship, which
thank God for my grandma. He took care of that
woman he made sure that no matter where he was

(13:16):
in the world, even if she was married. And she
was married, He's like, ma, I'm gonna take care of you.
So you're married and you've got a husband and whatever
that money is, but I'm always going to make sure
that you have your own because if you ever need
to leave, you will always be independent, right. And I
was like, Oh, that is so deep that he loved

(13:39):
his mother so much. So I am a provider and
a protector and a nurturer, and I think that is
a direct line from him. That is something that I
got from him. Yeah, I don't know who I get
my I've got a bit of a temper. I'm not
you know, like I don't go around kicking indoors, but

(13:59):
I definitely get frustrated very fast when people don't keep
up with the things that I see in my head.
And I saw that in him even when I was
a little kid, that your mind moves at such a
pace that you get angry at the world. And I
definitely know that I have that.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
Do you know that someone said to me recently, because
I think I at times have a bit of frustration
as well, where I go, Oh, this thing seems so
plain to me. And someone recently was saying to me that,
you know, that might be a function of a high IQ.
And I was like, I don't think I have a
high IQ and they're like, no, no, no, I'm dealing
with this thing with my son in school, and you know,
his teacher. He gets frustrated very easily because what's simple

(14:39):
to him is not simple to other people.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
And he's like, kind of keep up.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
And his teacher said, it might be a high IQ thing,
So shoot, we might just have high IQ's. I don't
think that's what's going on with.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Me, but it might.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
It could be.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
What what what did I say? Own? My gosh, how
you do? How how can you not like what I
know of you and what I followed and I've seen
you in this Difer interviews, the way you carry yourself,
there's no way, there's no way walking that you do
not have a.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
High i Q.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Which, by the way, for those of you watching, calm
down that you're like, well, a high IQ is is
merely a measurement of potential. It doesn't mean the fact
is you can you have more going on than a
lot of people. And I can recognize that.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
So own that you are kind and generous, and thank you.
You know what I will I'm going to try to
heed my dad for the day's advice throughout the rest
of this conversation. I'm going to try my damnedest to
do that.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
And because you don't spend enough time trying to tear
you down in life, even if you're on TV, especially
if you got especially people spend enough time kicking you
in the ass that you've got to be your own
hype man sometimes that I forget that I got to
reset every single day.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is such sound advice to be
your own hype man, because there are so many people
who are ready to tear another down. By the way,
has nothing to do with you, the person who is
the target of those attacks. It has everything to do
with the other person. But you're still a person and
you can feel that, and one thing you can do
to counter that is to hype yourself up. Okayllelujah. I

(16:13):
like how this sounds, and I want to really really
walk in it and live it. You have parts of
you that are your father that you acknowledge or you
feel inclined to think are parts of your father.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Did you ever feel.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Conflicted disappointed in the fact that your father was this
principled man who said, I'm going to be a provider
and a protector to my mother. That's important to me
that she has that, but perhaps was not that for you.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
No, I've never because I've never thought about my father
in the negative light of you aren't here for me,
because a like I said, he did take care of
my grandmother and he set up a system. He set
up a system, So yeah, it would have been nice

(17:11):
to spend more time with him, But I was raised
from the time that I was three months old. Because
I don't want to go into my wholeback story because
that's in the book.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
Sure, go get the book. Everyone get the book.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
When I write it that my grandmother and that system
was all I ever knew. So I knew that my
mother was in the world, and I knew that my
father was in the world, but my grandmother was everything.
And I knew that my father took care of my
grandmothers were there for visa VI. He was taking care
of me. So I never really missed out on that,

(17:46):
like I think for certain part of my life I
missed out on that. You know, hey, Dad play ball
with me. I wish I could do, you know, then
that would have been cool. But I never resent him
for that because he was taking care of us, So
I did feel okay about that. My sister and I
may have different different recollections about that, because because I've

(18:09):
got a sister that was partially raised with me and
partially raised with him, so I know that she has
a completely different relationship and intimacy level with him.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right, And I think to your point about what you
had always known from childhood, so you don't miss perhaps
what you didn't to know. So if it was like
my grandmother is raising me, that's just what I know
to be the case. And I'm not like in dire
need of this relationship that people are telling me that
I should have.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I say this because I felt that way growing up.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
And namely, I don't think when I was a child
in any way anyone was trying to make me feel
like I was missing something. But as an adult in
early college, people will be like, you didn't have a
relationship with your dad.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
It must have been like this for you, and it
must have been.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
So painful when I was like, oh no, all I'd
ever know my parents got divorced when I was a baby,
like a true bay and so I'm like, all I've
ever known is my mom raised me, and I was
surrounded by love, and I felt fine about it. That
wasn't there wasn't some like dad shaped hole in my
heart as far.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
As I could perceive.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Really, you made a really lovely point at the top
of this conversation about not perpetuating a stereotype that's so
nasty about black men and fatherhood. And it was important
to me even doing this podcast, that I don't perpetuate
that stereotype because my dad was not part of my life,
but not because he was a black man. He went
on to remarry and was very much part of his

(19:31):
children's lives in his new marriage. And I think dad's
are human. There's one of the big messages of this podcast.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
All dads are.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
Human, All parents are human, and that means absolutely imperfect.
But I want to have conversations like this with people
because you and I I feel like, just in a
few minutes we've talked now have so much in common
in this regard and what we were accustomed to versus
what maybe other people would have liked to see for.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Us, right, well, yes, and to that that I was
never bothered right until it didn't hit me until later
in life. And this is what I think is one
of the deeper things. Is is And now that I'm
glad that I've got a son that at this age.
Now i have a two year old son, and I'm
looking forward to having conversations with him when he gets

(20:20):
a little older. I didn't miss having my father truly
in my sphere until I was where was. I was backstage.
I was doing the play Fences, and I was playing
Cory the Sun, and I was a late bloomer in

(20:43):
all regards. So at this point, I think maybe I
was twenty twenty twenty one, I just started to get hair.
I just started to So I'm backstage and everybody's getting
ready for the show. I remember this like it was yesterday,
and they're all, you know, it's all these brothers inside
the dressing room talking blah blah blah. It feels cool

(21:05):
to be in there with them. It's like the barber shop,
except into our dressing room. And everybody's getting ready and
I see Eric, one of the cast members next to me.
He's liked and he and he gets ready and starts shaving.
I so I've got shaving stuff here, and I'm looking
at Eric and like, okay, that's what men do. I'd

(21:27):
never shaved.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Oh well, yeah, I put.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
This thing on like okay, and I take the razor
and I go for what little hair that I had.
I just kept doing that because I'm like, my logic
is if hair grows this. This is when you talk
to someone who is so smart that they're stupid. I'm like, well,

(21:51):
the hair grows out the follicle like this, So if
I why would I go with the in the direction
of the hair with the hair, because then that just
means so if I shave up, the hair goes the
other way, that cuts it and it must pull it
out and that would be a clean shave. Stupid ass,
Wayne Brady, stupid.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's the recipe for ingrown hairs.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
And the Brady.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
By the way, I was saying while you were describing that,
because I was like the first time I shaved my
legs the way I shaved skin as well, because I
was rushed what you were you were doing the motion,
I was like, oh my goodness, so the man cut
his face up before doing the.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Same thing, I like cut myself and then of course
immediately the next second, bumps my faces were. I start
freaking out right. No, buddy, he came over and they
put put some tonic on my face to bring down
the bumps and ice and swelling. And and then lady
was like, dude, brother, that is not how you do that.

(22:52):
And and and about a week later, once everything had
calmed down and little little bit of hair started growing up,
he showed me how to shave. Another brother, a black
man stepped into that father figure role. Whether he knew
it or not, he stepped into that role and showed
me how to shave. When I was thirty, I was
at the White House. I was singing at the White House.

(23:14):
My barber, mister Buck, came came with me to clean
me up. I couldn't tie my tie all those years
of being in rotc. I used clip ons, and at
that point when I was doing my talk show and
my variety show and everything else, the stylist always tied.
I could not tie my tie. Mister Buck showed me
there in the White House how to tie a windsor.

(23:36):
And to this day that's the only knot that I
can tie. But it looks dope as hell. But a
black man stepped into that father figure role and showed
me that I've had a few men of my community
step into those roles where And that's the only thing
I think I missed with my father is Wow, I
wish that my dad would have showed me how to

(23:57):
how to shave. I wish that I would have had
the sex talk with him. I wish I would have
had a relationship talk with him, which that's the part
of him that I feel that I might have because
I have never been able to make a relationship work
in my entire life, and I feel that it's because
of his behind. Yeah, so those are the positives. Is
if you could find your tribe and maybe fill that role.

(24:18):
But then also you'll constantly there are things that you
do miss from certain interactions.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
That makes sense, And I was going to ask you,
even as you were describing the shaving story, my next
question was going to go, did you know how to
tie a tie? Where did you learn how to tie
a tie? Because I've actually never talked to anyone on
the podcast about that, And these are things that I
remember growing up watching sitcoms, and it was like the
moment the dad shows him how to tie a tie.
It's a real father son bonding moment and something that

(24:45):
sticks with you. And so of course it feels natural
though that those moments would happen and then you would go, oh,
this is something I wish my dad would have shown me.
Is it important to you when you think about these moments,
from s shaving to tying a tie with your son
who is too, Is it going to be important for you?
Do you feel like you're gonna go, I'm going to

(25:06):
really take the time to teach my son these things
because these things really matter to me.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Hell yes, yeah, absolutely, those pieces of ritual just like
I'd imagine there are motherhood the rituals that you must
pass down. It's important both from a functional place right
that let me teach you how to tie this tie,
because if you go into a job that needs to tie,

(25:30):
here's how you tie to. Let me show you how
to shave, because you need to to. Let me talk
to you about sex. Let me talk to you about
relationships and women and manhood and masculinity and all of
these things even down down to and I'm not saying

(25:50):
that everyone's father because we all come from different places.
But you know what I would have loved to learn
early in my life. How to tip at a restaurant.
You know, certain things that are just life deals. How
how to change this tire, how to do things like that.
Oh there's a fuse out in the circuit box. Let
me show you how to do that. I learned to

(26:11):
do those things. But I learned because I was bumping
into walls.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
As opposed to someone going, hey, something happened in our house,
the shared roof, and I want to take this moment. Hey, Wayne,
come and look at this, Come and look at this thing.
Is your son, Wayne Brady the third?

Speaker 3 (26:27):
No, no, no, no. I was going to four a second,
but then I wanted to And his mother was very
gracious and let me name him Val, after my grandmother
because I lost her a couple of years during during COVID,
So that was a big blow. Like, my grandmother was
my everything. So I named him Val, and his name

(26:50):
is Val Henry after her her father's will. So I
get to so I get to think about her every
single day.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
That's really beautiful. That's special. Man. Shout out to grandmothers.
I don't think we've gotten to shout them out on
the podcast. I was very close to my grandmother too.
And you know, I don't know what it is to
be a grandmother, but I imagine because I see grandparents' relationships
with their grandkids and parents saying, my parents are spoiling
my children and letting them have whatever they want. And

(27:18):
I go, well, I guess that's the joy of being
a grandparent. I imagine is like I did my job raising
my kid, and now I get to just be party time,
good time, good vibes over here.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Being a grandparent looks like the victory lap m right.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
I feel like that's exactly the right way to look
at it.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Before we go into what your parenting style is like
any further, I do want to ask about the Wayne
Brady junior of it, for you did that in any
way to you feel like pressure to live up to
a name. I always wonder when I meet a junior.
And I don't know that I've asked this yet.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
I think in the household because nobody else knows, but
around my family, there was definitely a pressure because, like
I was saying that to me, this is completely based
off of the perceptions of a child into you know,
a teen teenager that my dad was one of those

(28:11):
dudes like He really was like when you think of black, tough,
seventies born guy, he was that dude. So the pressure
in my house was to live up to him, and well,
especially with my grandmother because he was so wonderful to
her and he did take care of things. What I

(28:33):
always heard growing up in my household was about how
smart my dad was, about how he graduated from high
school early, and then he was raised in Puerto Rico,
A he and my aunt and they went to the
Albert Einstein Academy. There was a school, and how even
in the military, he was always getting these degrees and

(28:55):
dad can do this, And so there was the thing
of well, this is what your dad does, what are
you going to do? Why aren't you? And then when
I got got a little older and your teen, why
aren't you as tough as your dad? And they didn't
do do it on purpose, but you know that generation

(29:15):
of parents sometimes they talk to you in a way
that they think that it's helping you aspire to something
versus kicking you in the ass with it. So everything
that I did, I wanted to try to make sure. So,
I mean, I'm lucky enough that like in elementary school,
I was so proud that I went from kindergarten to
second grade. I was proud that I that I was

(29:35):
in this gifted program so I could say, Dad, it
was just like you. I was proud that I made
this state engineering program so I could be like him
because he was an army engineer, I could say, but
I didn't love any of those things. So the comparison
was a kick in the ass all the time until
I exploded when he passed. I yelled at my grandmother

(29:58):
the only time in my adult life, and never yell
at your mother or your grandmother.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
You feel horrible, horrible, and you think about it forever
and ever, even if you've apologized.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
Yes, all that shit came out, all of it. It's
like and Dad, and you always compared me, and I
came all the way back and blah blah blah blah blah. Esh,
she's mourning her son. What a jerk. But that's what
happens when you're constantly getting compared to. You got to
build your own identity.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Right, I'm hearing you as you say that you felt
the pressure of that comparison and it's what made you
pop off with or your grandmother. Would you say, ultimately
it was more important to you to make your grandmother
proud or your father proud?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Or is that like not a fair question.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Oh, it's not that, it's not fair, it's it was
always important for me to make my grandmother proud because,
like I said, that was my son and moon. I
wanted my dad to be proud of me in general. Yeah,
I absolutely wanted my dad to be proud. That's why
I was glad to have that conversation with him before
he passed, right. I always wanted him to see what
I was doing. I think me wanting him to be

(30:59):
proud of me was. I wanted him to see that
I was doing my thing, which was acting, and I
wanted to be recognized for that within not just the
family sphere. But I wanted him to see that I
was doing my own thing and that I was going
to be all right. And more importantly, because he would
always tell me this whenever my grandmother would say something

(31:21):
to him or he felt that because I was a
really good kid. But every kid mouths off sometimes he's like, Junior, look,
you don't put that old lady through no changes. It
was like changes that mean, yeah, changes, you never put
her through changes? You make sure that she is always
straight and level, because that's what I do. Don't you
put her through So I wanted to prove to him

(31:43):
that by acting, I'm not going to put her through
any changes. I'm going to take care of her. She
is going to be all right. That's what I wanted
him to be proud of me. So I guess in
a way I never got that because he did pass
before I achieved any real success. And that was my
whole mission the rest my life until she passed. I said,
I will always make sure that you are taking care

(32:03):
of old lady. There's not a thing that you will
ever want for And that was my promise to him.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, that is so powerful and moving, and I'm like,
I just want to be like Wayne Brady Junior, you
did it.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
I feel you did it.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
I want to take a moment to celebrate you and
all of your accomplishments. I feel like I call my mom,
who doesn't know a lot of celebrities, and be like, yeah,
I know who Wayne Brady is and I'm like, she's
the barometer for me of like how famous is this person?
Has my mom heard of them? I'm like, that is
a household name. Wayne Brady, you made that a household name.
So I think you did both of them proud if

(32:38):
I'm allowed to.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
Say thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yeah, I feel like you have such strong, clear values
as well. And so in terms of the relationship you
have with your kids, you have a twenty two year
old daughter two year old son.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
What kind of father would you say you are?

Speaker 3 (32:53):
M I would like to say, you know, blanket statement.
I'd like to say that I'm a good father. And
my daughter will attest to that. And she even left
me message yesterday you know, I love you. Not everybody
gets to hang out with their best friend and and
she's best friend. Yeah, we lucked out. Not everyone has

(33:14):
a twenty two year old that actually wants to spend
time with them. Yeah, so her mother and I we
lucked out. In fact, I'll even show you. We went
to the Grammys. She was my date because I was
performing for the opening ceremony, and we did this whole thing.
And and I love doing stuff like that just because
I get to show off my daughter and to show

(33:37):
that I have this buddy who still wants to hang out.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
How cool? Twenty two?

Speaker 1 (33:41):
That is quite an accomplishment for her to want to
hang out with you guys at two.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Oh yeah, this is her right here. That's I don't
see beautiful, that's my girl. She is my palt. So
I think she'll say that I'm a good father. I
think she'll say that I am a especially when she
was coming up. I'm a strict father, but I will
own like many people of my generation, I'm a very

(34:06):
flawed man, a flawed person, and so in doing the
therapeutic work, really doing a lot of therapy later in
life because of a lot of the baggage that you
end up accumulating, and even parenting, parenting through a filter,
and you're parenting through the filter of I come from
the generation of don't talk back to me if you

(34:27):
even look, don't even look sideway, because if you're not
looking at me when I'm talking to you, right, don't
let me snatch you. I'm gonna snatch you up a
very violent underturned discipline. I'm gonna snatch you up. Don't
make me come over there if I have to. Boy,
don't you ever and me forgetting that The reason that

(34:49):
I think to this day, I'm a very quiet person.
When I'm on a camera, I'm very quiet and very
introverted is because I learned early in my house, don't
talk back, even if something's wrong. You don't talk back
to me so much to the point that I remember
I have a sensation in my jaw and sounding all
artsy as an actor. If I ever need to summon frustration,

(35:13):
I just remember what my job he was like being
loved because I can't speak, so I would always remember,
shut up, don't you say things. I realized that at
a certain point that I was enforcing some of those
things on her. For such a smart young lady and inquisitive.

(35:33):
So if you, as a parent sometimes don't have the answer,
it's either because I said so, But why do I
have to do that? Because I said so, because that's
what my mama did, and that's what I'm doing right now,
But why don't ask me? Why? So flawed? And I
own that. And we've had talks about that because the
whole family goes to therapy and we've had therapy together,

(35:55):
and so I've gotten a chance to apologize. I think
I'm a really good dad, but I also think that
I was parenting sometimes through through that filter.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
That's incredible that you guys go to therapy together. I mean,
I'm just marveling at that because I'm like, how many
families would be healed if they would be willing to
go to therapy together. Because there might be parties who
are interested in it and open to it, but everyone's
got to be willing to go. And the fact that
you guys are able to do that. Is there something

(36:23):
that made you guys go to therapy? Is there an
inciting incident or just period of time where it was like, Okay,
this is I think this is necessary.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
I know that for me, my personal therapy became when
I owned up to the fact that I was going
through depression and not just going through depression, that I
was that my behavior, which I also feel, you know
now after years of therapy and even going to clinical doctors,
and I know that I've had clinical depression, and I

(36:54):
know that my body chemistry, which I know that I've
inherited from my father makes me prone to depression, make
certain behaviors that I've done, especially in relationships, or even
the reason that I am very quiet and I stay
to myself and I isolate all those things. I had

(37:15):
to own up to that to a certain point because
I ran from it for years. I was able to
get going. And you know, the hustle, like when you're
in the city and you're at first you're trying to
make it. I was too busy to notice depression or
any of the behaviors because I'm doing a show here,
auditioning there. I'm on a hustle. I'm on the grind.
I get up, I do this thing. But and then
you get some success and oh my god, I'm doing
this not I a little bit of money, a little

(37:36):
bit of money, I get this thing. Bah bah bah
bah bay by bab. The first chance that you get
when there's a and and and it catches up with you.
And it did catch up with me. It really caught
up with me. I would say, like in my late thirties.
It hit me like a brick. It was either go
to therapy or be very unwell. And my wife, Mandy,

(38:00):
who is my best friend and if any of you
have seen the Family Remix are show on Hulu, which
is our family, she is Miley's mother. She made me
go to therapy. She's like, you need there's so much
that you have not unlocked. I'm fine therapist for white people.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Was it high functioning depression? Perhaps?

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Because the symptoms of depression as I understood them until
I had heard the term high functioning depression was like
you're having trouble getting out of bed and you're not
interested in your hobbies anymore. And I think it shows
up differently in different people. I am no expert at all,
but from what I understand now, I'm like, it just
shows up differently. And do you feel like that's what

(38:42):
it was? Because to still be able to do all
that you were doing and then entertain and you're making
people laugh. And I know this kind of hit you
like a ton of bricks once you slowed down, but
it was there in the background.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Likely right, it.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Does present in a different way, and there's a whole
slew of issues which I love the TikTok and Instagram information, Uh,
the generation because you learned so much. Not only was
I suffering from from the chemical imbalance that needed to
be corrected, but you know the things that I'd seen
as my superpower, which is kind of why even as

(39:16):
a kid I could play. I can imagine I could
do all these things. Why I felt so frustrated with
the world and then sometimes and that is also because
of undiagnosed ADHD and add that that I didn't know
even the depression, all those things I thought of as
my fuel, which there's a whole generation of us we

(39:37):
think of those behaviors as that's just the way that
it is. That's why if you go to a cookout
and there's always an Uncle Jimmy in the corner talking
to himself and he served either in Vietnam or or
an Iraq, and he's that's just Uncle Jimmy. Man, he
crazy is That's just no, he's he's unwell. He's unwell,
and it hasn't been documented because we don't do a work.

(40:00):
I had so much going on that I didn't notice
that the wheels are falling off until I took a
second and I knew that I needed to. The catalyst
of it was because I needed to be present for
my daughter. I couldn't be breaking down and having just
out of the blue, I'm fine, and then I'm crying
or I'm incredibly angry and I have to go pick

(40:23):
my daughter and take her someplace, or she sees this
thing happening. I can't model that behavior. I have to
find out why. And that was my real impetus to
start therapy. And once she became old enough, I'm in therapy.
Her mom's in therapy, her mom's partner, Jason, is inpy therapy.
Therapy was the next step. Because people think of therapy

(40:44):
as you have to have something wrong. I like to
think of therapy as, especially as a child. Give this
child an outlet to talk, Give this child an outlet
to get what they need to get out in a
safe space, which is so they don't grow up being
able to feel tension and locked jaw and have like
my head. I swear that I've got these big old
things on the side the side of my head because

(41:06):
of all the stress that I kept in. So we
definitely gave her the option for therapy. And she's been
in it for thirteen years now.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
That is incredible. That's incredible. I have so many questions.
I'm like trying to figure out which one I.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Want to want to ask.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
I feel like I've been talking so damn much. I
know it's a podcast, but I'm just like blah blah
blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
And I'm trying to shut up because you're saying so
many wonderful things and so many rich things, and I'm like,
I'm grabbing onto all of them. Okay, the first one
I'll ask you is in terms of inheriting depression because
there's genetics, it related to mental health. Yeah, from your
father's side, was it diagnosed in him or is this
something you've then figured out when you go, oh, this

(41:49):
is the way he showed up in the world is
reflective of this mental illness.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
We had to retro fit that, right, because I don't know,
and I also don't want to. I don't want to
sound like I'm either blaming my dad or I'm speaking
on something that he had because I don't know. All
I do know, Like I do know for certain that
after he passed, and my sister at the time, she
was working in the medical field in a clerical way,

(42:18):
having access to his house because I was because I
was out of town. You know, he did have certain medications,
which I do believe after hearing them, that they were
to treat things related. Now, even that being said, I'm
pretty certain that my father did not go to therapy
because he was not of that generation. Sure, But what

(42:40):
I do know is that's a man that passed from
a massive coronary who he was not even when I
saw him. That one time I saw a man that
I make up. I saw somebody who was in a
bit of darkness who had a thing on him. And
I can recognize that because Game recognized Game. I know

(43:02):
that thing. Yeah. But even at that age, whenever I
felt that thing, I was like, Nope, let's go do
this improm make a laugh, make a laugh. So so
I wish that I would have known. So I speculate.
I speculate because a lot of the same behaviors is
because of some of his medical records. But I'll never

(43:23):
know for certain. But even in talking to the doctors,
like you say, you know that there are genetic markers
of of that and and it is what it is.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Yeah, And I don't even hear you placing any blame
because it's just science. The reality is, oftentimes your mental
health can be a function of genetics. That's just the
science of it. And we don't actually get to pick
our genetics. It's always like, we don't get to pick it.
We just show up in the world and we got
we got what we got.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Now.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
In terms of your daughter calling you her best friend,
which is man, that is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Man.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Thank you for sharing your dad with me today. But
do you find balancing that reality with the fact that
she thinks you were strict challenging? And what does that
even look like? Because if I hear like, dad is
my best friend, I'm like, Okay, dad's fun time, and
I feel like I can talk to Dad.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
But then to hear that you're also strict, Yeah, how
does that look?

Speaker 3 (44:20):
She can talk to me and we have amazing conversations.
So I think that because her mother was even more
strict because her mom came from her father's Japanese so
she was raised in a very strict environment as well,
so she got double teamed in terms of the strictness.

(44:41):
But her mother was more strict than me, like super strict.
So I think that we found the balance. Yes, I
love you and I'm your best friend, but I don't
think that we're the best friend in a way because
I will be the first to say to some parents,
you can't be your child's literal best friend. And I
use that word in intentionally, like you see some people

(45:01):
that yes we're best ease and we go out, we
do everything together. Well, then your child has a different
level of respect for you. The way I put it
as best friend is she respects me as her father.
She knows my rules and my policies and my stance,
but she also knows that as her friend, I have
her back in this life, and as her friend, I'm

(45:21):
not just gonna let you get away with nonsense. So
that's that's her best friend. Her best friend is the
person that has her best interest even when she doesn't
want to hear it. Sometimes I'm like, Miley, don't go
to that party, don't go do that thing. You just
don't want me to go have fun you I said, no,
I want you to go have all the fun in
the world. But I also want you to use common sense.

(45:42):
Why would you, as a single woman, walk into that
party downtown by yourself and park your car five blocks away?
Why not go with someone? Why not do these things?
I can't make you do things anymore, but I can
surely give you an informed opinion as somebody who loves
you more than anybody else.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Right, That makes sense. That is such a great distinction.
I haven't heard it distilled that way quite yet. Now,
in terms of considering one another best friends, I understand
that means I have her best interests at heart. Do
you want Miley to be able to tell you and
talk to you about anything.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes, okay, And we really worked on that because because
of how strict I was, I realized that if I
would have gone down the same road that my grandmother did,
I would have ended up in a relationship with my
daughter where she would have found out about sex from
somebody else. She would have talked about heartbreak to somebody else.
And I was lucky enough that I caught it early

(46:41):
enough that now we're at a place where she can share,
and she shares with her her mom, and there are
some things that she probably doesn't share with me because
they have a different relationship, but she can come to me.
And even now she has a boyfriend. It's Newish. He's
a really good dude. She introduced me to him. She
asked me questions. She asked me about certain things going

(47:04):
into it, because I'd also witnessed her other, her first
love and how that went south, and I kept my
mouth shut. She trusts me now, she knows that there's
no judgment. And I had to earn that. Yeah, because
I think the way that I did parent she felt
there was judgment because I was constantly coming at her.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yeah. I always say that.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
In any relationship even with friends, my siblings, whatever. I'm
always like, it's nice when people are asking you questions
to understand and true curiosity versus asking you questions with
a little judgment on it, and you can feel it,
you can feel the difference.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
That's who you like.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
And I don't want to go in on Miley and
I don't even know Miley, and I want to protect
Miley's business. But just as a dad, just hearing that
with her first love, you were like, I kept my
mouth shut.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Was that hard for you to do? And what made
you make that choice?

Speaker 3 (47:57):
That was so hard to do? Because I didn't want
to be judgmental, and I realized that if I would
have opened my mouth and said some of the things
that I really wanted to say, which I said in
the beginning. In the beginning, I was very liberal with
my comment because I'm dead, I'll say say what's on
my mind. And I saw her begin to turn away

(48:21):
or to maybe do things in c not do things
in secret, but she wasn't as forthcoming and maybe she
didn't talk about things. And I was like, oh, I'm
no longer a safe haven because I am judging her.
Even if I don't think that I'm judging her even
by having something to say about him, saying, Miley, it's

(48:42):
this isn't about you, but like one of my big
beefs with him, and she she's idating him now. So
he can suck it.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
And he really can suck it. I don't even know him,
but I can suck it as I can suck it
my non existent D but go D so he.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
You know in my household, yes, sir, no, ma'am. When
you walk into somebody else's house, especially if you're younger
and they're your elders, you always greet them. You always
shake hands, or you say say hi, you always acknowledge.
The first couple of times that he came over, he

(49:18):
never did that. And the excuse was, Dad, stop, he's
just really shy. Okay, I get shy. And and I
went up to him. You know, it's a little bit
of ego. I'm like, well, you in my house or
you just to say and and he was nice. I
gave him that at first, you know, shake hands, blah
blah blah. But I had a problem with that. And
in my mind, when certain things are telling, if you're

(49:41):
not respectful, if you can't be respectful of her space
or of her parents, that's gotta be a little bit
of a flag of just a respect level in general.
If you can't be respectful of her folks, is he
going to be respectful of you?

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Listen, Dad, I've heard it said.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
The way you do anything is the way you do everything,
And you can really tell a lot by about a person,
I think in some of those moments, and that is
incredibly telling to me right off the bat. Now, if
I'm her and I'm kind of like, but I like
this guy and he's attractive, and we have this thing
in common and we enjoy doing this one thing a lot,

(50:20):
I go, Okay, I'm gonna make excuses for it.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
I'm gonna make excuses for it.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
And I do think ultimately, yes, even in friendship, if
you can feel a friend starting to judge you, you
pull away, even if that friend is right, even if
you know that friend is right.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
By the way, especially.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Especially if you know the friend is right, You're like,
but I want to have my experience. So you were
liberal up top, and then ultimately, how did you stopped
saying things When I'm like, when's that sweet spot?

Speaker 3 (50:49):
It's when I realize that I'm pushing her away. Okay, okay,
And and I can't even lie to you and say
it's perfect yeah, because I still have a tendency to
give my opinion because it's born out of care. Like
like last night, she's an actress as well, and she
and I was helping her do with self tape. I

(51:11):
sometimes getting notes from me if I'm coaching her on something,
or if I listened to her sing and I'm like,
oh that thing, blah blah blah. I'm coming from the
viewpoint of I didn't have a parent in the business
or somebody who did this to any success to help me.
I just got bumped into walls and made it. You

(51:31):
have me. I want to help you. I was put
on this earth to help you. That's what I'm Oh, shit,
I can do it. She hears You're not good enough
like that blah blah blah blah blah. And I have
to realize that even last night, I have to just go, oh,
even if I'm right right now, I think I might
be overloading her and this isn't the interaction that she wants.

(51:53):
And I have to be respectful of that. I have
to be respectful of that interaction.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Yeah, so so so.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Even now I've got to be respectful of what I
say to her as an adult, even though she's my daughter.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
I feel like, again, parents, every parent is imperfect simply
because they are human. But you seem to have mastered
at least your north star in terms of the type
of parent you want to be. And that's not to
say you're going to get it right every time and
in every moment. That would be impossible. But I think
that is such a tight rope to walk, and I

(52:25):
think you get it. I'm like, that's exactly the kind
I see. I'm listening to you, and I go, I
see why she calls you her best friend.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
I'm like, you get it. You get it.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
You respect the boundaries and understand she needs to have
her experience and want her to be able to have
the experiences she needs to have to flourish into the
person she is. Is there any other example you can
think of that where maybe you lacked a thing in
childhood in terms of guidance in terms of a parent figure,

(52:55):
and so you use that as your guide in how
you parent Mley and your son. Where you go, I'm
doing this thing, but now I'm realizing I'm doing it
because I lacked it, and I don't even think you
want it, actually.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Oh absolutely, and I think I've got a chance with Val.
I already missed the boat with Miley, sadly. And it's
where it comes to relationships. I never had healthy relationships,
especially because my dad was not in the picture with
my mom. They were divorced when I was ten, but

(53:27):
even when they were married, I didn't live with them
my grandmother. You know, once my grandfather passed my aunt's divorces,
there was no one in my immediate sphere that had
a healthy relationship. So, and coupled with the fact that
we never talked about sex, we never talked about intimacy.

(53:48):
You learn things on the school yard about girls, especially
you know, in the hoods. You hear these things and
this is what you're supposed to do, and this is
what you say, and girls are like this and this
is what they want and death. So I think that
that stuck with me, and I never modeled a healthy
relationship to Miley. Even when she was growing up. The

(54:12):
only healthy thing that she ever saw was how I
treated her mother. She knew that even though her mother
and I were not together, anymore, and she's old enough
to remember us being divorced. Never spoke ill about her mother.
Always said that her mother was MY best friend and
I was always going to take care of her, and
that's something that she has seen to this day. But
in terms of really having a relationship, my awkward ass

(54:34):
way of learning about relationships and interaction cost me many
relationships and how and the work that I never did
therapeutically blew up so many relationships. And I never modeled
what it was like to be in a healthy, good,
loving relationship. So how could I give her relationship advice?

(54:58):
So I kind of miss that boat. Sure, So that's
something that I do feel bad about. But on the
flip side, her mother did model that because she's been
in an amazing relationship with Jason for like thirteen years
and she's seen that, so it's never too late. I'm
still trying.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Yeah, I mean, you want to the opportunity, hopefully to
show that to Vow. And in terms of just modeling
it as opposed to imposing relationship advice as well, I
think that is an important distinction. So I can't imagine
even Miley or val later in life rejecting your modeling
if you will, I guess they could. But it's when

(55:36):
people impose. I think that's when you start to go
you wanted this thing. You were lacking this thing in childhood,
like a parent who was in the industry who could
give advice.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
You lacked it. And so now you think I want
all this advice. I don't want.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
I don't want your opinion about everything. But modeling a
positive relationship, I do think I can only imagine is
helpful and powerful, even though I do know some friends
whose parents have healthy relationships, and they go, well, this
feels like pressure. It feels like pressure to achieve this kind.
So I'm telling you it's never quite right. It's never
going to be perfect, it's never good.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
It's like to not sound trite and to use that thing,
but it's all a work in progress. And especially being
being a parent, here's the thing. You're never just when
you feel even if you feel like you're hitting all
the checkpoints and doing it right, because your child hits stages.
You only got this part right, and now we're over here,

(56:31):
and now you have to work on this and you
probably never get that, and then you feel like you're
in school and now you're two chapters behind, and this
thing happened, and there's a big quiz, So the biggest
win that you could take, Like, I have such pride
in the basic fact that I've raised a great human
and at twenty two years of age, I did my

(56:51):
part in keeping a human alive. Yeah, for twenty two years,
and now they're going to go out in the world.
But I and her mother we did that. So that's
the wind that I'm going to take.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
I love that, I love that perspective, and I love
so many of the perspectives you shared with us. Now
I'm going to take an opportunity to be a little
more selfish and ask you for a piece of da advice.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Please.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
You may or may not be an expert in the area,
but because you're my dad, for the dad, like you
to try like a dad would. Okay, buying property, So
I bought a house. That's exciting, and I was thinking,
should I just keep buying properties and buy investment properties

(57:32):
and rent them out?

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Is that the best use of money?

Speaker 1 (57:36):
And it's not because I'm just swimming in it, but
I'm like, let's plan for the day that I might
be swimming in it.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
What would I do. What would I do? I don't
you don't write would you do you do a bunch
of properties?

Speaker 3 (57:46):
Or is that that is such a no, no no,
never silly to want to plan for the future. I
can only give you the advice that has been handed
off to me. Now, if you look online, there's always
some in or TikTok guru who they will either say
buying is bad because it's a money pit and da
da da, or somebody will go it's great, go online

(58:08):
to the government website and find all these abandoned properties,
and you too can be a slum lord. I think
the truth is somewhere in the middle. Like what I'm
even trying to do right now is even at this
point in my life, I'm trying to build a portfolio
of properties. I wasn't thinking that way in my late twenties,
thirties and forties when I was acquiring things. Now I'm

(58:28):
at a point where I want to be able to
leave these things. And I look at people who are
incredibly wealthy, and I'm talking out of show business wealthy
talking about it's property. It's a different thing. So it's
a different thing I have. I've started to invest. I'm
with a commercial investment group that I've boffed that I've
invested in, bought three big commercial properties. I'm in the

(58:50):
midst of buying a couple smaller homes that I'll rent out.
I think that if you are in a space to
be able to do it and not going to take
away from your living capital, I think you should. I
think you should invest in property. Property is the one thing.
And because I'm not an expert, mind you, that's why

(59:11):
I have a business manager. But I'll be your your
you're expert. I will say buying property, I think is
like any other thing. Don't spend more than you have,
Don't over extend yourself, because I also see people do that.
They take out all these loans and there every extent,
I've got twelve houses, and now what you're going to

(59:33):
do unless the twelve houses are bringing in an incredible
amount of rent? And then do you really want to
be a Do you want to be a landlord to
all these things? Or you're going to have to hire
a property manager if you do, And you have to
know that these zone or ordinances, you will be responsible

(59:54):
to some to someone else. If you're okay with that,
if you're really building in your future are slowly and location, location, location.
You want to buy in a place that maybe is
on the come up. You don't want the most expensive
house on the street, even if it's the house that
you buy to live in. Well, look what is I
just dropped six million on this house. But yeah, but

(01:00:16):
the guy down the road he has a house worth
two hundred thousand dollars. So you've just taken a loss
because you your house isn't going to bring up the value.
So a spend what you can spend, Spend wisely, don't
overextend yourself. Look for locations that are that are definitely
on the come up. It all depends on the city

(01:00:38):
it then it depends on is this a great neighborhood?
Are are they gentrifying? Or is it already great? I
think that those are the things that you have to
think think about. But ultimately you're making the right move.
Make those moves now while you're young enough to still
have income coming in so that at some point your

(01:01:00):
money can work for you instead of you working for money.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Okay, I like that, and I've not heard it put
quite that way. And I also just want to say
it's so wild how the term location, location, location has
been imprinted in our minds. I don't even know who
said it first. Real estate agents said it first, but
we hear it and we all know immediately what it means,
and we know we're talking about buying property. That is
sound advice you gave me. I'm not in a position yet,

(01:01:24):
but I thought, what would Yeah? Is that smart to do?
But I think you gave me great guidelines. I think
you did great. Even if you want thank you. You
sounded like an expert, sounded like a confident dad. Wade
Brady Junior, Thank you so much for being here. Thank
you for being my dad for the day. Is there
anything you would like to plug.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Let's see what's going on? Yeah, I would love to
plug it. You know, I've got the latest season of
Let's Make a Deal. We're getting ready to go back
to work right right now. I will be on the
road at some point this this year, touring with my
improvised musical show called Making Sit Up. I'll be back

(01:02:03):
on Broadway starting in July. I can't say which show yet,
but definitely check out my Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Thank you for doing this again. I want to say
thank you so much to our listeners. We will be
taking a brief hiatus on thanks Dad, as this is
the season finale and what a way to end the
season with a bang with you Wayne Brady as my
dad for the day.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Thank you again and we'll see you soon.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
Bye bye