Fat

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Of the Law and Order franchises, SVU is considered especially watchable.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the
vicious felonies.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
These episodes are based on.

Speaker 4 (00:09):
These are our stories, done done.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Hello, that's messed up?

Speaker 2 (00:30):
In SVU podcast, I'm Liza Traeger and I'm Kara Klank
reporting to you live from my garage in Los Angeles.
I would like to tell them where I'm at. I
haven't exposed. I'm looking at my exposed brick wall in
New York City.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yes, we're giving you your coast to coast coverage of
Law and Order SVU, the true crime it's based on.
Sometimes we interview people from the show. Spoiler alert. Today
we don't have anybody, but we're just gonna have fun
and that those can be fun too. You know.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
We don't need no stinking guests. Just kidding. We want
everyone to do our show well. Also, I do want
to do a little shout out.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
I ran into a mother daughter grandmother trip from Toronto
here on the streets of New York. Oh, three generations.
She screamed, glitter cheese. Oh my god, you're coming from
soul cycle and I was.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
She can tell so shout out.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
They were about to go walk the Brooklyn Bridge and
they were far from it, so they were really getting
their steps in.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I do think it's funny when people just call you
glitter cheese, or people are like, oh, tell Glitter that this.
Like when she brought up this on the podcast, I'm like, okay,
I'll tell Glitter. It really does make me happy. Did
you have a good weekend last weekend? I'm trying to
think of what I did anything that wasn't just like
kids going going to kids birthday parties and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
I honestly kept.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
It pretty chill this weekend, but I have a lot
going on coming up.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Events I didn't show up.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Two events I bought, like a gift for someone's birthday
that I did not go to.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Is like, what, That's what my weekend was?

Speaker 2 (02:08):
It was Yeah, it was like soul cycle and then
like absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how I felt.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
I wish I had, you know, more wild things to report,
but I have been on my continuous journey through the
Real Housewives of Orange County. I'm on like season seven
and eight and just doing my intro Alexis Bilino. I
don't know if you remember this but she became like
a news anchor, but she just did like fitness and
beauty things for local news, but was so bad. And

(02:37):
it's like then Gretchen was performing for with the Pussycat Dolls.
Never sang, never sang into a microphone, none of it.
And it's like the audacity of all of these people
to just be like, Yep, this is my career. Yeah,
of course I'm gonna do it. Slade Smiley doing stand
up comedy at the Improv, Like, it's just so wild
that you just think that you can. She said, like

(02:59):
a Lexus was saying people's names wrong, she was stuttering,
she was out getting a drink while they were like
we're live.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
She had to run into frame to like Georgia.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
And it's just so that's where I'm at in that
journey of like Brooks has just came into the picture.
He hasn't lied about cancer yet, but it's everyone being like,
we don't like him.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Who is this guy?

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, And so That's where I'm at at that journey,
just watching people.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
It's wild that a person named Slade Smiley is real,
But that's a real name.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
That's a crazy fucking name. I bet it's fucking nut.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
I bet he's David Slade or something like that and
decided to do his more fun middle name.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Slade's Smiley. I mean, it sounds like a fucking Muppet
game show character. Like I can't even like get on board.
But I did see the movie Long Legs. Have you
been hearing about it?

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Fucking bitch? Of course I want to see it, So
what what? What are the thoughts? I'm shocked you even went.
I oh, because of the silence of the lambs, kind
of energy, because kind of I feel like you wouldn't go.
This is the guy that did it follow or the actress,
I mean the actress the actress.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
And when I was watching it, I kept going, how
do I know this girl was? She was giving me, like,
just from her look, I'm like, it's not Jackie from Yellowjackets,
but she kind of has a little bit of that look.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
But who is she?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I've never I went to her IMDb. I've never seen
a damn thing she's been in. But she looks very
familiar to me. Here's the thing, it's too new.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I just saw it.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I don't want to ruin anybody's like, I don't want
to ruin anything. I have thoughts and I need you
guys to see it and then we'll talk about it.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Okay, it's playing by my place, I'll try to see it.
But I read a Vulture article actually about the actress
and it's just ranking all her roles in all the
horror movies. But she's kind of like a modern day
scream Queen is yee what it is? And I and
it follows as the scariest movie I've ever seen. I
haven't been able to do a rewatch of it, like
all the way through, but she is so incredible and

(04:50):
I'm excited to watch all of her stuff.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Like she's very good in it, like she's very I
was definitely giving me Clarice Starling, but like different, like
she plays she plays it very like small and like
she's very good. But the movie is wild. I don't know,
it's just I don't know what to say about it.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
But I was shocked you went.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Honestly, I went because because my friend Jackie was like,
I'm gonna go see this movie long legs. I go,
what's that? I had not heard of it. This was
like like three weeks ago. She bought tickets so early
for ituse she was excited about it, and I was like, oh,
she goes it's about a serial killer. And I was like, oh, well,
I'll go see stuff like that, like I will go
see serial killer stuff. And so I told Jared I
want to go see this. So me and Jared went

(05:32):
with his horror wife. The three of us went. He
went with his real wife and his horror wife to
go see this movie in the air. No, because I've
gone to see movies with her before. Famously I went
to go see Hereditary with her, and Hereditary didn't even
scare me that much because I babysat for the kid
that was the star of the movie. But I literally

(05:52):
was like I went into that movie knowing absolutely nothing,
And that's how I would I would tell you all
to go in and see it, like I liked knowing
that absolutely nothing about it.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
Like the tension was really good.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
It's beautifully shot too, It looks very beautiful, and but
it's a it's a wild it's a wild ride. Well,
and it has an sbu Alum in it. Claire Underwood
is in it. Woo, Claire Underwood am Sex in the City, Yeah,
and Sex and the City, which I.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Would say that is the most unlikely storyline. That is
the one where I'm like the show that like this
Blair Underwood, who's the doctor for the Knicks.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
I don't know. I just don't Miranda love connection there.
I'm Miranda dumpsim for Steve.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Like I mean, oh, but while the list, there is
this movie that she's not the lead in, but I
have seen it.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Did you ever watch the movie Greta.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
No.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
It is with Isabelle Huper and Chloe Grace Moretz. But
it's like this weird movie and she's like an old
woman with a purse and kidnaps people and there's murder
through the walls.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
But it was just it was kind of silly. It
was silly.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, that I feel like I heard I saw the
True I wanted to see it or something, but I didn't.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
I still want to see Inside Out too.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
I'm kind and because it's so hot in New York,
like going to a movie is the perfect air conditioning activity,
but I have not.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Done it. I'm actually trying to go back.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
I'm going to go for the first time to like
a Long Island beach, like take the Long Island Railroad and.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
See oo see what that hype is all about? Yeah,
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'm not you know, as long as someone else is
leading the journey, I'll be okay.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, all the way out to the Hampton's or like
a closer the island beach.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Okay, not Hampton's. I'm not sure what it's called.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Like I said, I'm not going to be in charge,
and yeah, they're gonna get me going. Oh, you're gonna
love to hear this. I had one of the best
tunea melts ever. Oh where at Black Seed Bagel. It's
like a you know, there's it's Montreal style bagels, but
I even don't see that, like I think it's but
that's what they say, but it's different to me.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
But it was.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
I added bacon and avocado to it on Assessame Seed bagel. Ooh,
and I ate two sides. Usually I save a side,
but I couldn't. It was that good.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Wow, you're making me want to tune them melt like
right now. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
We're in a really specific category of people because tuna sandwiches,
they feel, are very controversial.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yeah, I mean I remember the time I had a
tuna sandwich at an after party of a comedy festival
and when I come up to you said you're eating
tune at the after party, and I was like, yeah,
I'm embarrassed now.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
I was like, you're right.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
I guess I want to be having like conversations with
people close up and I shouldn't be eating too.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
No, you're right.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
But unfortunately, like like when there's usually a lot of
sandwiches at a big party, it's usually like a big
Italian type of like meaty sandwich and tuna.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
I do eat. I eat fish, so tuna is my
go to.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
But wait, I was going to say, oh, so this
past couple of days, I know this episode is in
the time machine as usual, guys, it's going to be
a little bit past. But I did want to just
shout out. I was very sad that Richard Simmons passed away.
I was very sad that she and Doherty passed away.
Doctor Ruth passed away. When I was in college, doctor
Kelly Dave to my college Shelley Duvall, I mean olive

(09:08):
oil forever. But when I was in college, the beginning
of college, I don't know if you had this experience,
but like at the beginning of college, people would come talk.
I'd be like, I'm going that's what college is about.
You go to talks. And I would go to talks
at the beginning and then I don't think I went
to a talk the whole end.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Of college, just the first year.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
But I went and I saw is it Henry Lee,
the one who's the famous autopsy guy Michael Badam, I
don't know the other one. No, no, no, no, he's the guy.
This is the guy that did Yes, Henry Lee, the
forensic scientist. He did like OJ and like he was
involved in the staircase. Like he's very So I saw
him talk because I think at the time I was
taking forensic chemistry and I was like, I gotta go

(09:45):
to this. But I saw doctor Lee, doctor Ruth speak
at the beginning of my college experience, and she was
so great, so sex positive and just a cool little
lady talking about fucking sex to everybody and she was great,
and you know, it's just sad. It felt like we
had a lot of And I was obsessed with Brenda
Walsh as a young person. I know Shannon Doherty had

(10:06):
bad politics later in her life, but I was a
charge girl.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
I was a charge Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
I was a nine o two one zero and like
it was like when I was growing up, everything was
like you either like the blonde or you like the
dark headed girl. You know, like everything was like it
was Kelly versus Brenda, it was Betty versus Veronica. And
I always gravitated towards the darker haired girls.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
I have brown hair, but I.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Just like thought that they were cooler looking and attitude,
I guess, and so I always liked Brenda, and uh,
like I just was really sad. I remember reading articles
about Shannon Doherty, like where she bought her clothes and stuff,
like when I was like in Cent magazine and shit,
oh like vintage and I'd be like, mom, I gotta
get vintage, and she was like, what are you talking about.

(10:51):
I'd be like, I don't know, I need vintage clothes,
like I didn't even know what it meant. And I
was like so into everything about Shannon Doherty when she
was Brenda back in the day, and then when she
left the show, I was kind of like by her
and Dylan.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
I mean, her and.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Luke Luke Perry are in heaven together now if you
believe in that kind of thing. But yeah, anyway, just
a sad time for that, and uh because I had
just been reading about how Shannon Doherty's fucking asshole ex
husband was prolonging her their divorce proceedings because he didn't
want to pay her any money. So just another cool

(11:25):
man to talk about on our podcast. You know, men
doing cool things. Uh, he wanted her to die, so
you would just have to to you know, never pay
her a dime in alimony.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
It's p engross.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
But I okay, So obviously we've talked about this. You're
going to go see Oh Mary. I did see it,
and I'm going to go again. And I after a
show at the Seller, I started talking to a group
of people that I vibed with and so we're chatting.
We're chatting, and they're visiting from out of state. They
went to see Oh Mary. So I'm just like, oh

(11:59):
my god. And the two of them are like, we
loved it. And I was just like saying the jokes
and whatever, and we're having fun. And then later on
I bring it up to the other group, like the
friends that was with them. It was a big group,
and they were like, oh, yeah, they went to see it.
They hated it, And I go, well, that's not what
they told me. And so they they actually didn't like it,
but they didn't want me to know, and so I

(12:20):
was like, well you could have just said it. They go,
we just didn't get it, like the jokes. We just
wanted to feel cool and like that we understood the jokes.
But in my head it was not obscured at all.
Like to me, I was like, this is so universal.
And I brought it up to Ted, my acting teacher
that I love, and he goes, no, we're part of
We're like, it's alternative.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
He goes, it is obscure.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
He goes, an absurdity is hard and I go, you know,
my sister famously a lot of people hated Barbon Starr
And he goes, that's very absurd, and I go, yeah,
maybe it's the absurdity that's confusing. But I love that
they tried to cover up that they didn't get it.
But to me, there was nothing to get and I
thought it was basic. And then I find out, maybe
we're part of a different kind of culture.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
You know, this is.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Why nobody is green lighting any comedy television shows or
movies really, like you know what I mean, Like comedy
is now so fractured that it's like you either think
like Tim Allen having a problem with his neighbor is
the height of comedy, or you want to see this hilarious,
Like what if Mary Todd Lincoln kind of loved that
her husband got shot play with a non binary star.

(13:23):
You know, it's like we got these two ends of
the spectrum of comedy and there's just no specifically with comedy,
it feels like the monoculture is fully gone. You know,
like with music there's always people like people can and
with movies or whatever, I guess it's like, oh, we
can go have fun at like a Blockbuster or whatever.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
But I don't know.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
With like comedy, I feel you like, I think it's
I have to be careful what I recommend to some
of my friends that I don't think are going to
get some of the stuff that we think is funny.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, it just came to such a I was just
so shocked. I'm like, there's nothing they get, Like that's
what I thought, like in my head, I'm like, there's
nothing to get. It's jokes. But I guess I guess not.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Like today I was, I was texting with a group
of my girls from camp right and like so they're
very mixed, like some are very city oriented and with it,
and some are like live on an island off the
coast of Maine or in New Hampshire, whatever. And my
one friend was saying how after her divorce she dated
a lot of cops, and I go, oh, yeah, she's
a cab. All cops are boyfriends, is the joke I

(14:29):
made in the thing. And she was like, yeah, or
all boyfriends are cops whichever, And I go, do you
have you not ever heard the term acab? And she
was like googling it.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
And I was like, oh my god, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
There's just like I just didn't know anybody didn't know
a cab.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
So it's like we're.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know, damn yeah, I just I that is so
funny though, that they like about the show is so palpable.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
You love it.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Nobody wants to like pop your bubble and go actually
not for me or like, you know.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
But I love that their friend also threw them under
the bus like immediately, Oh, that like made me happen. Yeah, wait,
and care already knows this, but everyone knows my love
of the movie Grid and Cinematrix, Vulture Game and a
proud moment for me this week. I thought there was
a mistake. I emailed in and they did make the

(15:26):
correction based on my email.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
So I'm so proud of my cinematrix. Karen Lee's a
trigger well keeping them on their toes over at Vulture.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Well, because if I don't know something that I'm okay
not knowing, like if I if there's two empties or
I just fuck up like I'm that's fine, But knowing
that I'm about to fucking crush it and then get
the disrespect of a square gone it like is upsetting
when yeah, it's correct. Juno is a romantic comedy that

(15:58):
has Jennifer Garner in it, like it is what it is. Yes,
it's a comedy and they end up in the end.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
So and how dare they and they and they shan't
dare again because now they've got an updated in their
in their library.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah no, I've I've never been There's nothing I've been
this good at that I could, you know, pattle tail
on like usually you know it's above my pay grade
or whatnot.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Oh, and I had a crazy happening you on Saturday,
I took I was with our friends at the pool
that we go to and there was a code brown.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Someone's shit in the pool.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yep, dookie, everyone there three years I've never seen that.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Suddenly it was like everybody, I'm not even talking about
three years in that pool. I'm talking about how many
years have you been alive at pools? Have you had
that happen? I've never exactly, it's even you know, three years.
Who cares?

Speaker 3 (16:51):
It's like, well, when I liftime play when.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
I used to play softball at mccarrian Park in Brooklyn, Like,
that's the one. That's what it's called, right, Yeah, I
used to play softball there. It was right next to
this brand new, big community pool, and you would constantly
hear everybody plays exit the water and it was because
of shits. Like they would constantly have to shut that
pool down because of shits apparently. But I have never

(17:14):
been in a pool where it's happened. And it happened,
and I don't know who did it. I didn't see it.
I just got out, and then the workers from the
place were all like trying to get we.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
Want to train it. What happens when they're shitt No,
I think.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
They had to they have to treat it with chemicals
or something. I really don't know what happens. We were
gonna leave anyway, like we were giving the kids ten
minute warnings anyway. So we just got out, started getting dressed,
and then we got the hell out of there. But
I had invited these friends with us, and I was like,
I'm so embarrassed, like this has never happened, and they
were like, wow, it's not like your kid did it.
And I was like, you know what, honestly, thank god,
because it easily could have been. I mean, Oscar is

(17:46):
still in his potty learning moment, but he has never
crept in a pool before. I think there's something about
the pool where he's been swimming and he's gotten out
and pooped in his bathing suit, but he won't do
it in the water.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
So I got him on that. Thank god. Wow what instance?

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Also speaking of Oscar, who never gets any attention on
this podcast, he has been religiously yelling out Lisa's house
every time we passed your old apartment. So every time
he was Leadsa's house, I'm like, all right, yeah, she
doesn't live there anymore. He keeps they don't understand moving
like that. He keeps being like, why can't she still
live there, and then like their Rosie's friend just moved.

(18:20):
They're like, why can't Isabelle still live here? Can she
not go to New Jersey? And I'm like, no, guys,
like this is moving. It is really sad to try
to teach kids about people moving away.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
I know, but you know, I will see them in
a month.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
I would say, yes, you're going to see them so soon,
like honestly less time.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
In my head.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
I'm like, oh, I would send some you know, stickers,
but I'm going to see them, so I'm not doing that. Yeah, yeah,
and we'll see. Maybe I will. I mean, maybe I'll
surprise them.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Who knows.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
I did want to say I did book a gig.
I booked an acting gig, and you know who, printing's
the nightmare. And so I asked our agency. I was like,
can you just please print the script?

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Like I don't.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
I can't go because this is I don't know if
it like this. The number on the paper of a
script is not the same as the Google page number
because there's like the cover, the list, and so it's
like so hard to print like specific pages and maybe
for other people it's not, but printing my sides has
taken me four or five days of struggle, like I

(19:23):
have just been on this journey printing the wrong pages,
like going through So I was like, can you just
please print this for me? But they bound it like ooh,
like I am one of the twins on Devilwaar's Prada
reading my Harry Potter on the train.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
The unpublished manuscript of Harry Potter is in Lisa's hand
right now. They did make it look very professional.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
I know, I loved it.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
I'm gonna have them just print shit out for me.
This feels so good.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
But I definitely felt like Miranda Priestley's little daughter. And
then did you have to like go across town to
go pick it up?

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Well, just uptown a little bit. It's like a few
train stops for me. But someone met me in the
lobby from the mail room. You know, it was.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Cool, gorgeous. Yeah, request use your resources, babe.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Also, I'm starting my We'll see if I continue it.
You know, it's always tough to keep a diary, but
you know, I feel like the end is near, so
I'm gonna do my own antwering diary.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Liza's final few months of Democracy journal.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, it's but my hand hurts. I'm not used to writing,
like I was in physical pain. After a page and
a half, I'm like, I guess I'll stop mid sentence.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
I can't go on, so we don't know how far
I'll get.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
But oh yeah, all of a sudden, everything is seeming
more and more dire, and I get I don't think.
I don't think women are going to be allowed to
do stand up or work or do anything.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
So I don't know. I'm just enjoying the last.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
God's I mean, I hope I'm wrong, but in my
head it's like, okay, like you guys aren't shy, you
do not want women out and about, and I'm very
out and about, and so I'm just getting ready.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
I'm building up my memories.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
So when I'm just like back to you know, I
don't know, I'm selling water bottles.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
You have to take You have to find a gay
guy friend that you can like fake Mary so that
you can keep up the appearance of a uh, you know,
heteronormative nuclear fantasy.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
Say I'm sending a text right now, but he he
has a bob, like they're gonna know he's gonna get
a air cut.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, you have to be like I call you your
mine when when this all goes down.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, I'm texting right now. Actually yeah, fear.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
My fingers are click and a clacking fear very fast.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
Oh my god. Well wait the journal thing, that's so fun.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
I literally, I mean you've heard of morning pages right
from the Artist's Way, where you just get up and
you type like morning pages. There's a website version of
that because I was like, I'll never write that. It's
basically like the premises, like you wake up in the
morning and you just do your morning pages. You just
write whatever comes to your mind, right right, right, right right.
I don't know if there's a certain number amount of
time or whatever, but they made a computer version of

(21:58):
it that's called like seven hundred and fifty words. And
that's what I had to do because I physically cannot
write with my hands.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Like already, because technology might be like done, I might
not have electricity, Like this is something I gotta get done,
hide somewhere for you know whatever.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yeah, I'm getting all my glasses re prescribed or whatever.
My prescriptions changed in all my glasses because we can't
be using contacts.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
When the world ends, you know.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Well, or you can get lasick. Sorry to bring that up.
That's true.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
That is the best thing for the end of the world.
Sorry to burst your bubble. You need a life straw.
You need a gun.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
And I heard about that.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
I heard about that, and I guess the deem on
NPR in twenty sixteen, like after Trump was elected, millionaires
and billionaires were going to get we're building bunkers.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Already a man already, this gay man one hundred. But
will you take care of me even he wants a
fucking housewife. Yeah, I'll sweep, I'll sweep, but he's got
to take out trash.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
All right.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Sorry, but to you, you were talking about life straw.
You got to get lacey. But I'm scared, like I wouldn't. Also,
my mom being old is so weird. Like she just
called me and casually was like, yeah, I have cataracts.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
I'm like, excuse me.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Oh, my parents had them too, and they acted the
same way. My parents acted like no big deal. And
then they got cataract surgery. And now my dad doesn't
have to wear glasses anymore, which is so weird. He's
been wearing them my entire life.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well, this is good I'm gonna tell him mom, because
she's obviously like, oh, I'm just gonna wait till the
final moments, and we'll see what happens when I lose
my vision fully and maybe I should be like, well,
maybe you won't even have to wear glasses.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah, my parents got cataract stuff and it just fully
fixed their vision.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Okay, I'll bring it up to them. But yeah, yeah,
so we could start the episode.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
We could start yeah, yeah, but let's get started. We
have a great episode for you guys today as usual
as always, you know that's messed up. Live dot Com
has a link to Lisa's tour dates, a link to
you know, rate and review us on Apple and Spotify.
I think you can rate on spot whatever. It has

(24:01):
a link to our merch We've got some great summer
merch guys. Get that tank top that do you have
Children Detective t shirt. I think the mugs are sold out,
but we have some other stuff up there. And you
can also click on the link for our promo codes
and anything you've heard us do and add for the
promo codes are up there. You can get support our sponsors,
who in turn support us.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
I'm also going on the road in the fall, but
mostly I do need to sell out Toronto right around
the Taylor Swift concert. Let's go everybody, no or take
your time, But I'll be doing some dates in the fall.
I'm really enjoying, you know, my summer, my summer vacation,
and I think we could say probably we're going to
be doing some dates.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
In the fill waiting. Yeah, we're going to be doing
some dates in the fall. We're just waiting on a
couple more things before we can announce. But get ready
and yeah, with that, let's kick it off. Let's go
into this episode. Okay, if you thought last week's episode
Shadow was wild, get ready for fat. This episode is

(25:02):
from season seven. It's episode twenty. It came out in
two thousand and six. I guess, let's just keep.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
That in mind.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
But again, so yeah, not all you know episodes of
the show. Hold up, we do think this is a
wild one. We wanted to cover it, but you know,
we're never really not on board with a lot of
the terminology and some of the points of view in
this episode.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
So we'll talk about it as they arise.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Okay, so we open on Jesus' shit immediately with Stabler's
voice and confession, and he says, it's been two years
since his last confession, and I'm shocked.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
I thought he was churching on the regular.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
I thought he was like, your honor, I threw a
suspect up against the filing cabinet, you know whatever, your
honor father. Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I watched
too much just for you. The judges are my priests.
So he confesses I was selfish, I was disrespectful.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
I lost my temper and I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
And the priest is like, bro, after two years of
no confession, that's all you did wrong?

Speaker 3 (25:57):
Like, tell me what's really bothering you? Elliott?

Speaker 1 (25:59):
And I thought I was supposed to kind of be anonymous,
like I do. Think it's weird.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
The priest.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
I calls him by his name, like you're supposed to
sit facing sideways and I don't know, Casey, you're Catholic, right,
It's true, I am. Do they ever say, okay, Casey,
are you supposed to case you shouldn't have done that?

Speaker 5 (26:14):
No? I mean historically there was like you know, the
confessional booth, you weren't able to see the person's face.
Supposed to be kind of anonymous and then like sometimes
even when it's like face to face, the priest will
like kind of like turn turn away as it to
kind of like have like the ceremony of it being anonymous,

(26:34):
you know.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
So it's maybe maybe this guy, maybe this priest is
an SVU fan, and he's like, I'm obviously gonna recognize
your voice Chris Maloney. So Elliot's like, I keep losing people,
and the priest is like, like your family, and Elliott says,
my family, my kids, friends, And then the priest goes
friends you mean someone at work?

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Why would you jump right to that? Like what are you? Are?

Speaker 5 (26:55):
You? Like?

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Is the priest on team Benchler like, it's weird to
be like I'm losing friends?

Speaker 3 (26:59):
Is it somebody from Why would you ask that? It's weird?

Speaker 1 (27:01):
I don't think he has friends? Maybe yeah, yeah, they're
like that's true. They're like, Elliott, you've never had a
friend your whole damn life. So anyway, right when things
are getting juicy and confession, Elliott's beeper goes off and
interrupts the confession, and Stabler's like gotta go, and the
priest is like, all right, but you should come back
and give me the juicy shit because this was boring,
and he blesses him in Latin and then says, for

(27:22):
your penance, call your wife. You know we have a
game of Call of Us. We should also do like
start one where people like you. That's on the SVU
Bingo Kard too, where someone tells Elliott call Kathy please
he please check in on your the number of people
on this show who are just trying to help him
be a better husband and father and like he like
never does it anyway. Elliott is now getting out of
his car at a crime scene and there's a guy

(27:44):
who's immediately giving Stabler's ship before he even introduces himself.
And his name is Detective Lucius Blaine from Queen's SVU,
who is played by Anthony Anderson, who is obviously was
the star of Blackish and who also was on the
Law and Order original recipe for a really long time
and kangaroo Jack. Yes, and he in the spirit of

(28:06):
like when we did the episode with Buzz from Home alone,
and we did, we had to like later say we
didn't know he had like DV accusations.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
We were like, we just can't be googling.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
We have gotten a few people that have said let
me be the person that googles all the bad guys
for you.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
I just don't know logistically how that would work.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
But Anthony Anderson just does not have good reputation and
has accusations against him. So he plays a jerk in
this episode and I'm pretty sure one in real life.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
So that's that.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
And he is gonna be partners with Elliott right now.
So just to refresh everybody's memory, the episode right before
this was Fault, and that was the lou Diamond Phillips
episode where you know, he plays Frank Gaetano. He kills
a little boy right in front of and Stabler didn't
get the chance to get to him because he he
had helped live instead, and so it was all about

(28:54):
whether like he cares too much about Olivia that he
can't do his job. And at the end of that episode,
Benson asked for new partner, but really it was Murshacargata
asking for maternity leave, because this is one of the
first episodes that she's not his full partner.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
I mean, she's spoiler. She comes on a little bit
later in.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
The episode, but she's not with SVU in this episode.
And then I think infiltrated might be her first big
episode back after she has her kids, and that's like
the sixth episode of the next season. So the first
thing we see at this crime scene is like a
girl being wheeled on a stretcher to an ambulance. And

(29:31):
the first thing this guy Lucius says is victim's a
teenage hotty. Not a great start, Okay, I'm not loving
him immediately calling a victor of the.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Thing that's even crazier about all this is he's not
just a cop from a different precinct. And what you know,
he comes in from drunk, yes, undercover. He is Queen's
SVU exactly, talking about young hotties like rat is crazy.

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Exactly, Like that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
I go, it's not like he's one of these guys
that they have to teach him how to deal with
victims like you are from SVU in another burrow. And
then he says, no purse, no panties, head trauma, ligature
marks and her finger was sliced clean off. So now
we've got friend of the Pod o'haleran there with more info.
He's like, there were fresh tire tracks and there were
definitely two perps because of the footprints and they dragged

(30:16):
her from the car, and you know, this is like
where the assault took place. So he says he can
tell from the footprint identification that the guys aren't small
like the The amount that they were pressed into the
mud shows that these were larger people the purpse. Okay,
So Lucius Blaine goes, get me an id on the
tires and the shoes, and o'hallaran looks kind of stunned,

(30:37):
like who the fuck are you, and like you see
him sort of slow turned to Stabler, like who is this?

Speaker 3 (30:42):
And Stabler just.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
Like wants to know who found the victim, and Lucius goes,
Marie Antoinette over there. I don't get this reference because
he's just referring to like a woman that looks sort
of unhoused and like a little bit you know, wacky,
and O'Halleran goes, yeah, her footprints are all over the
scene as well, and Lucius goes, oh really and has

(31:04):
like a light bulb moment and he storms over to
where this redheaded, like unhoused woman is just talking to
the to the uniform cops, turns her around forcefully and
starts frisking her up against the car, grabbing something she
has in her jacket, and she's like.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
Oh, I didn't steal it. It was on the ground
and it's the victim.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
So he was right, he was correct, But I feel
like there was another way he could have gone about it,
Like you could have just gone up to her and
been like, ma'm I'm gonna need to pat you down,
And instead he like went and kind of like assaulted
her up against the car and patted her down really aggressively.
And he but he finds the victims like purse and
it has her id. Her name is Jessica Delay. It's
her school ID from William Osler High School where it

(31:41):
says she's in eleventh grade. Then he looks in the
bag and says, oh my god. And the cutoff finger
is in the bag, much like the balls that we
have already discussed being found in an ice bucket. Stabler's like,
let's go, we can get we can, you know?

Speaker 3 (31:54):
And then this is the thing.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
So he like empties out some ice coffee, keeps the
ice and throws the finger in there. Can you just
mix coffee in a in a wound of a loose finger,
Like I just know the coffee of it all was like,
I don't know, maybe it's better without coffee ice, Yeah, infections,
I don't know, maybe ask the doctor.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Does the ambulance is right there? Did they? Yeah, the
ambulance is right there.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Do they have like an ice pack or something they
could wrap that thing and it's not doesn't have a
latte in it?

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Like, yeah, that's so true, but blood.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
This guy Lucius goes back at this poor woman who
just found the body and then decided to keep a purse,
and it's like, you cut off her finger, you freaking witch.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
And she's like no, we're just lying on the ground.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
So he's like screaming at her and he's like, so
you took her money and needed the ring too, So
I guess the ring the finger they cut off had
a ring on it, and so that's why she took
it because she wanted the ring. And so Stablers like,
we can still save the finger. Let's do the ice
coffee move. So Stabler grabs the finger ice and he
goes to accompany the victim to the hospital and the ambulance.

(32:57):
Him and Lucius like share a look through the ambulance
glass and then that is the credits. Okay, so top
of Act one, we're at the hospital as the victim
Jessica's being prepped for surgery. The doctor's saying we might
be able to save the finger thanks to Stabler and
his coffee ice. And the doc says she was sodomized
with a blunt object, and that is one of my
least favorite lines to hear on this show, you know,

(33:19):
like we've heard it before.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
I hate it.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
The doc also revealed that the perps tried to cut
off her hands altogether but couldn't get through the bone,
so they went with the finger, and he tells Stabler
he can talk to the victim after surgery. In walks Lucius,
who says the victim's mom is on the way and
wants to know Stabler's question Jessica. Yet, then they see
her being rolled out of the elevator. How they know

(33:41):
it's hers beyond me. She's so far away, surrounded by
hospital staff, like lying on a bed, tubes, you know,
ivy bags, and Blaine acts like a complete freak and
runs up to her hospital gurney like a craze paparazzo,
being like Jessica, Jessica, tell me what happened, Let me know,
Just tell me something, and she's like fully unconscious, if
not sedated, like it's so inappropriate, and again.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
Is but Benson in a nicer way, but has done this.
I'm sorry, Like Benson is chased trying to get evidence
and so quietly not screaming.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
She's been like, Jessica, do you remember anything?

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Like if a victim even mumbles a word and then
they don't come out of surgery, it's like, at least
you have that.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
I get why Benson does that. This man is truly screaming.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
At her and like you know, running after her, like
she wasn't even the cop that was in the ambulance
with him, Like maybe Stabler has a rapport with her
from writing in the ambulance, but like Jesus, this man's
out of nowhere after he beat up this redheaded woman
who he called Marie Antoinette again not getting it did
she have red hair anyway?

Speaker 3 (34:37):
So Stabler's like.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Dude, calm the fuck down, like telling like, scaring this
girl isn't gonna get us anything, and It's like, don't worry.
She didn't hear anything to be scared because she was
fully unconscious, it looked, and Lucia's apolog apologizes and then goes,
I forgot I was dealing with detective sensitive and then
he storms off, which isn't even a good insult or
diss or clever or RT like there's nothing to that. Yeah,

(35:00):
it's like I hope you never meet an actually sensitive
person or like Olivia Benson, you know, like Stabler's the
least sensitive person.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
It's legit, Seinfeld, I went to the jerk store and
added Jar like, it's like, what are you saying right now?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
I went to the jerk store totally.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
So now Stabler's complaining to Daddy Craigan, like why did
you give me this blow hard? And Craigan's like, Queen's
us few loves him. They say he's good, so like,
so then why they dumped like.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Why is he not there? Like why is he here?

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Why they dump him on us? And Stabler wants to know,
like where's Benson? And we never really find out why
Lucius came there at all, besides the fact that they
needed a guest star because Maurice carget they needed less
screen time because she's pregnant Benson. Stabler says she's a
computer crimes and he goes, you needed a break from
each other, and then Stabler's like, in whose opinion and

(35:44):
Craigan goes the decision has been made, and then Cragan
walks off and Blaine brings Craigan up to speed on
the case. He's like, we've idd the tires. They're pretty common.
The shoes are quatros, and then based on the princes,
creep number one is five ten and creep number two
is five eight. They're throwing shade at Stabler for not
letting him talk to the victim. Both of them like

(36:05):
it's kind of like he's doing it, and Craigan's like, oh,
and it's like.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
It's very delusional. You could not speak to her. She
was going into.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
Surgery and she was probably grabbed anywhere between her school
and the subway station, and CSU said that she was
probably attacked, like exactly where she was found due to
the amount of blood. Craigan's like, you got anything of
value to add to Stabler and Stabler's like thanks, Dad.
He says, well, it was personal. They didn't take any
money or credit cards. They just wanted to inflict pain.

(36:32):
And then Lucius is like, well, why did they steal
her cell phone? And they're all like, well, how do
you even know she had a cell phone, and he's like,
she's sixteen with three credit cards. She had a cell phone,
Which that's a good point, you know, it is a
good point. It's two thousand and six, even I had
gotten a cell phone, you know, four years earlier. Another
thing they didn't take munch pipes in is her Health
department ID card. Craigan's like, I never heard of a

(36:52):
teen working for the Health department, and neither has anyone else.
So it's a fake ID and it's got a number
on the back belonging to someone named Rufus Brownell and
inspector at the department, and they give his license plate number.
And then the next scene we see is like that
license plate through binoculars, and we're seeing this guy in
his car with a young woman in the front seat
and they're sort of talking closely, but you don't really

(37:14):
know what's going on.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
This I will say, I'm about.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
To explain it, but this is one of the wildest
little like side plots of all that I've seen. In
as for you, Stabler and Lucius are peeping through Bino's
and the minute that Sabler says he's got a little
friend in there with him. Lucius, like an absolute psycho,
just goes off. He gets out of the car, runs
straight for this guy's car, opens the door, pulls the

(37:37):
guy out screaming, and goes, get your hands off of her,
Like he is truly like a rookie with a cocaine problem.
He has no idea who this guy is, what the
relationship is to the woman, Like it's truly unhinged. He's
got the guy pinned up against the car screaming at
him when Stabler, of all people, has to diffuse the situation,
and this guy's like I work for the help department.
I'm helping this woman Laurie, like I'm helping her fix her.

(38:00):
This is a tobacco sting, Like, lol, what is happening? Like,
I know it's two thousand and six in this episode,
and I do know smoking is a major problem because
I did it for way too long, which.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
And I regret it, but like I just it's like
hard to even imagine you as a smoker, honestly.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
I know, but oh boy, did I love it and
did I do it constantly? But just there's so much
money that the police could be spending money on, and
like kids smoking cigarettes it's like, I don't know, let's
I get that cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Cops or is it just like a program? Isn't he
like doing some people.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
Oh, I'm sorry, not cops, like the health department.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
No, but like like later in this episode, they literally
talk about health departments like the cops have better ways
to waste money, like robot dogs, Like I don't know,
but like cigarettes. In my episode they talk about how
like clinics for people with diabetes are being shut down,
and here they're like, no, we got to have informants.
And this guy working stings twenty four hours a day
to bus people who are selling SIGs. It's like, I

(39:00):
think the laws passing about not being able to do
it outside don't market to kids.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
I agree with all of it.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
I just didn't think tobacco stings would be effective. This
guy proves me wrong later, Okay, trying to catch stores
selling cigarettes to miners.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
He said she's sixteen.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
He pays them eight bucks an hour, and he's like,
the fake idea is.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Part of it. It makes the kids feel important, like
part of a team.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
And then meanwhile, the little girl Laurie goes, what do
you mean it's fake? Like she loved that she had
a legit Health Department ID and now she's piss So
they show him Jessica's ID and they tell him about
her attack and they're like, you use kids as bait
and you don't think they could get hurt And he's like, no,
I'm always close, so nothing bad happens, and Lucia's is like,
tell that to Jessica.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
It's like a little bit dramatic. I don't know if
this had anything to do with.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Cigarettes, and he asks for they ask for a list
of the stores that she's been working at for him,
and it would be wild for someone to attack that
violently because of a tobacco sting, like you know, a punch,
maybe like.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
Trying to saw off your hand. A little wild.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
So now they're at Rufus's office and he's showing them
a app of Manhattan with flags all over showing the
stores he's rated. So it's like hilarious to me, like
he's Carrie Matheson, like trying to stop cigarette sellers, but
like how much time and resources are going into this.
Maybe it's just this man and he's a one man
operation and he gets forty thousand dollars a year, in
which case carry on anyway. They show him the blue

(40:19):
flags are the stores that he raided with Jessica, and
there's a lot of them, and he goes, she took
the job seriously. And then Lucius is like, meanwhile, if
I was sixteen to walk into Bodega's and try to
buy cigarettes for eight dollars an hour, sign me up.
That's like the best job you could ever get as
a teen. That sounds awesome. Plus a fake health department,
I d card I'm in. Lucius is like, it's not

(40:39):
a job, dude, Like you're putting kids at risk, and
he's like more harm than cigarettes. He's like, where I
do these stings, smoking is down by fifty percent, and
again I cannot believe that's true. But if those are
the stats, I can't believe Neil Bher would put a
fake stat on the show.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
So I do like that the guy. The guy is like,
I'm helping these kids.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
So Stabler points out that losing your tobacco license, though,
is a huge incomes for these stores, and have any
of these places threatened her? And he goes, well, one
guy got a little rough, and he pops in a
VHS and we see footage of Jessica paying for SIGs
and leaving, and suddenly the guy goes after her and
grabs her. But then right away Rufus runs in and
he says, the second there's trouble, I'm in And that

(41:17):
store owner is named Hobzid Latif and it's the third
time he's been caught this year selling SIGs to little ones.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
And the store is two blocks from where her body
was found.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
So we cut to the store and they're like, do
you remember Jessica, And he's like, I remember that little bitch,
like he does not like her, and he's like, she
costs me thousands of bucks and I like that too,
and he says I never touched her. The girl comes in,
she wants cigarettes. He says, you're too young. She says,
come on, I won't tell anyone.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
And she's really pretty.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
And then Lucius gazes at her fake health department idea
and goes, yeah, she is a hotty, all right, And
it's really gross because he's already called her a hotty,
so first of all, a child. Second of all, it's
like a work id photo with fluorescent lighting. It's not
like she's trying to look hot in the photo, like
you're projecting pervert shit on her. And so the guy's like,
she's flirting with me, like what could I do? And

(42:05):
Lucius pretends to be on his side and he goes, yeah,
what could you do? And then he turns and he says, pervert,
you get turned on my little children. It's like, again, sir,
you have called her a hotty two times as her
body was being loaded into an ambulance one of the times.
And Lucius is trying to rev this guy up and
he's like, no, she called me names and he laughed
at me and I lost my license, but I swear
I did not touch her. So Stabler interrupts this tense

(42:27):
interrogation happening in the middle of a bodiga and Lucius goes,
what and Stabler goes, nice shoes are those quatros? So
why don't we take mister Hamzad for a little walk
through the crime scene. So everybody's wearing these quatros, which
are probably like, you know, Nike Airs or something, or
Air Jordans or something. Sound like a fucking fifty year
old I'm like Nike Airs, Air Jordans. They make this

(42:47):
guy walk over to the crime scene and then go
tell him to stand in the mud behind.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
The police tape.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
It makes absolutely no sense, like, just go stand in
this crime scene and leave a shoeprint. We're just gonna
see if you're the guy. So Halloran also stops the
insanity by going, there's no point I told you earlier
that based on the depths of the footprints these guys
are larger. That one purp would be two forty the
other one would be three hundred pounds. This man looks
like he weighs one hundred and fifty pounds. So Stabler

(43:14):
tells hom said, thanks for your time, have a good day,
go back to your cigarette less bodega. Stabler gets a
ringy dinghy on his little flip phone and we're gonna
get a lot of delicious mid two thousands phones in
the show, and this is just the first one. So
now we're at Melinda's house and she's like, where's Benson
And it's like touchy subject, don't bring it up. Stabler

(43:34):
goes reassigned, and then he introduces Lucius to her. She goes,
I ran tests on the stain on Jessica's clothing, and
there were two blood types, and she can tell that
one of the blood types is a girl who's going
through puberty, and we're looking for a two hundred and
fifty pounds girl, says Lucius, and Melinda says yes, and
her glucose is through the roof. So when you arrest her,
tell her she has type two diabetes. That's the end

(43:57):
of Act one, all right, So I don't know why
they're acting incredulous, like a girl can't be heavier. It's
very confusing dialogue.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Back at the precinct, Craigan is like, so, we're looking
for kids, and Stabler is like, yeah, two very large kids.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Again. I don't like the way they're talking about these
people any more than you guys do.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
But they still haven't spoken to Jessica. She was sedated
post op and then her mom wouldn't let them talk.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
She was too upset.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
They reattached the finger, but they have no clue she'll
ever be able to use it again. Craigan asks, oh,
so how's Blaine doing, and Stabler lies and goes great.
So now they're at Mercy and they're questioning Jessica, and
this is the actress Rooney Mara, who I simply do
not recognize here, Like she just doesn't look like herself
to me, like I have seen a lot of things
she's in and I don't recognize her.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
I feel like she looks super young. I wonder how
old she is.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
And she has sisters, of course, with fellow SVU alum
Kate Mara from the episode Pixies, which we have done
at live shows. And in case you don't know this,
she is from an extremely rich family which on both
sides owns separate NFL teams, like one of her parents
families owns the Giants and the other one owns the Steelers.
And I actually knew the Giants because where I grew

(45:05):
up in Connecticut is three.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
Houses away from the New York border.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
And she went to high school like down the street
for me in New York, like Westchester County, And I
had heard about this family that owned the Giants live
then that like the daughters were actresses like when I
was younger. So yeah, and I think Saint Jermaine dance.
Saint Jermain went to high school with one of them
or both of them. That's a comedy friend of ours.
Not to name drop anyway.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
Rooney Mara, aka.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
NFL Heiress, is in the hospital sitting there with like
you know, obviously bandages on her face and bruises, and
there's a boy sitting there as well, named Tommy, and
I'm like, jesus, another Tommy, like whoever, I forgot our
listener's name who always sends us the Tommy lists, but like,
add this one on there another Tommy Strahan this guy.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
So she's like, I don't really remember much. I left
school at one thirty.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
I was heading to the subway to go to Tommy's apartment,
who's supposed to be her boyfriend, I guess, although they
don't like explicit say it.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
And she took her usual shortcut through an alley.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Then she hearde a van behind her, heard footsteps, and
then there was a bag over her head and she
was being dragged into the van, and the next thing
she remembers, she's in the hospital. And she does remember
that when she was in the van there was more
than one person. She has no enemies, no school feud.
She says, I get along with everyone. I have a
lot of friends. And that's always what the popular girls
who murder people say on the show. And Tommy Stabler goes, Tommy,

(46:23):
is that true? And he goes why are you asking me?
He gives me holding March vibes immediately, like he is
giving me weird vibes of that guy. He's like, I'm
asking you because you guys are friends, and he's like, yes,
she has no enemies. So then Stabler goes, but we
think your attackers knew you, so you probably know them.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
And then Jessica turns on the tears and it's like,
why are you making me go through this?

Speaker 1 (46:42):
And Tommy is like, you're upsetting her and Stabler's like,
we're literally just trying to figure out.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Who hurt her.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
And then they're like, did you have your cell phone
with you at the time of the attack, and she says,
I think I did, but they didn't find it. Tommy's like,
so those bastards stole it, and Stabler's like, yeah, but
why wouldn't they take anything else?

Speaker 3 (46:57):
And he goes.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
She goes, why are you being so mean? Please get
out and leave me alone, like very much. The girl
who turns on the tears to shut down the conversation.
Getting out of the elevator at the precinct, Lucius goes,
in Queens, we treat a victim like a victim? What
what does this flip around all her, calling her a
hattie and screaming questions at her as she's unconscious going

(47:18):
into surgery, and Stabler goes, then go back to Queen's
and he goes, and then he tells Craigan, we didn't
get much out of Jessica, Lucia says, because Stabler intimidated her.
And Stabler's like, I'm not buying her little miss innocent routine.
You saw how she led on that store owner, which
is weird of Stabler. It's like she is a child,
Like what do you mean she was like leading on
a store owner. It's in a grainy it's grainy footage

(47:40):
from a bodego. You don't know what was happening.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
And Neil Baar had the flu this week. Yeah, seriously,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Maybe yeah, it's just it's it's right. They must have
talked about it, like that's the thing. Hopefully our mold
can get it. Like they must have been like, well
that was a weird one.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
They're making hundreds of episodes. There's can't win them away.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
But these are funny. I mean, these are wild ones.
Like you gotta have some that, like, you know, grab
the balls.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
I just don't like the flip around like this is.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
This she is a whore? Like what is happening? Yeah? Yeah,
her dream? Maybe? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Maybe he was about to say he's like Lizzie Board
and I'm morphine.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Yeah, Lucius, who thinks that he's a fucking SVU superstar,
goes good for her. She took down a drug pedaling
thief who had a thing for schoolgirls, and Stabler's like,
the guy was selling SIGs tables on my side.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
He's like, I mean there's SIGs. I do think smoking
is awful. I hate smoking. I'm you know, I'm so
happy to be quit now. You like you think it's
no big deal that kids are smoking, is what you're
basically said.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
I cannot believe that sting operations where places lose their
cigarette license is reducing team smoking. I just simply don't
believe that correlation. I think there are commercials about how
it makes you stink, it makes your fucking teeth yellow,
like it's not cool.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
I think that probably does more to influence teens.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Than Oh shit, my local bodego where I used to
buy SIGs got busted. I guess I don't smoke anymore.
Kids always find a way, and you know that as
well as I do. So much interrupts with the extra
curricular report on Jessica. He's like, she's a busy bee,
she's in plays concerts.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Debate.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Turns out her last concert was at the Koreta Scott
King Orchestra.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
There's schools playing with different orchestras, but they don't explain it.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Sabler goes, Okay, let's start there.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Her attackers obviously knew she played piano, because what better
way to fuck up a pianist than chop off a finger?

Speaker 3 (49:35):
Okay, interesting observation.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
At the high school, they're asking the principal if there
are any heavy kids in orchestra, and he's like, it
used to be that the heavier kids played music to
get out a pe, but now we don't have pe
and a third of the school is overweight. They try
to serve more fruit and salad in the cafeteria, but
kids like burgers and fries. And there's half a dozen
fast food places on this block. And the episode is
obviously trying to say something about childhood obesity. Here are

(49:58):
they saying it in a clunky way?

Speaker 4 (50:00):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (50:00):
Yes, like you know it's not it's it's there's a
lot of fat phobia in this episode. But I also
think what they're trying to get at is fast food
companies being the bad guys. And Lucius is like, it's
not just about food. These kids could exercise, play sports.
The Principal's like, where have you fucking been, dumb ass.
We can't afford sports. They're lucky to have an orchestra
at all. And so then Stabler has stepped away for

(50:21):
another little call on his baby flip phone, and he's
back and he's like, listen, Munch checked jessica cell records
and a call was made one hour after the attack,
and they have the phone number. So now the principal
trots the two detectives into the orchestra practice and Lucius
tells them we're looking for a witness to an assault,
and Stabler dials up the phone number that Munch just
gave him and bring bring No. One knows how to

(50:42):
go on silent at orchestra practice. The phone starts ringing
and it is a kid named Kenny. His teacher goes, Kenny,
no phone's in practice, and he goes sorry, and then
he still.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
Picks it up and goes hello, like, I love that.
He's like, does it just turn it off?

Speaker 1 (50:55):
He fully answers it, and then Stabler goes hi, and
the kid has busted.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
He's like, what's going on? They asked where were you
two afternoons ago?

Speaker 1 (51:02):
And he says, I don't remember in really the most
unconvincing way possible. And then a girl stands up and goes,
leave my brother alone, and she's got a scratch on
her face, which Lucius grossly like grabs her face and goes,
what happened there? Like kid, and they just take both
kids in for questioning. In interrogation, Kenny is sitting in
cement Bar's room while Cragan and Elliott chat on the

(51:24):
other side of the glass.

Speaker 3 (51:25):
This kid's name is Kenny Bixton.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
He's sixteen, and he's wearing Quattro jumps aka Nike airs
as I called them before. That's consistent with the footprints
that they found at the scene. And all he said
to the cop so far is get me a soda.
His sister, Mia is fourteen and their mom is on
the way down. Craigan's like, let's get the forensics and
the confession and wrap this shit up. So now, Lucius
is talking to Mia and he's lying to her. He's

(51:48):
saying the victim to wait this. This made my skin crawl.
There is a certain amount of lying that they're allowed
to do, and we've seen before. They definitely have said, oh,
your brother's in the other room flipping on you, like
the victim idd you and described you no.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
He's very specific lie yes, yes, detail, And she's like,
I want to talk to my brother.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
They lie to her and they're like, oh, he's in
the other room spilling honey, and Lucius tells her, listen,
if you tell the truth right now, it's gonna count
a lot.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
And she's like, is my mom coming?

Speaker 1 (52:17):
And he like goes, sweetheart, and then he gives them
the hole when your mom comes and the lawyers get here,
we can't help you anymore, which we've seen before. But
then he is fully lying to her and going saying,
whatever you tell me now is shit that won't be
on the record. That's what he says to her, which
is a absolute lie. And even Stabler the opposite of
the Miranda rights. Yes, even Stabler, king of slamming suspects

(52:39):
against walls and crossing the line is like dude, and
Lucius like waves him off and he's like, yeah, Stabler's
gonna go call your mom and like basically tells him
to get the fuck out of there. And he's being
so shady and he goes, tell the truth. Now, it's
your first defense. You'll get off and she goes really
and he goes, you'll get immunity. Stabler is like, that's
too much your fully bold faced lilye and you just said,

(53:01):
like how you're so like self righteous. You treat victims
like victims, and then what you treat suspects like they're
completely guilty immediately, Like it was really hard to watch.
And he's like, you're questioning a miner without a parent,
and even if we get something from her, you know,
we can't use it, and Lucius.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
Is like, yeah, but we can use it to break
her brother.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
They did it, and Stabler goes when they find out
how you got the confession and Luciu's like, you'll back
me up. It'll be two detectives versus a kid, and
Stabler's like, nah, dude, I am not doing that shit,
and Lucia, I clearly hate you.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Yeah, like in what world would I back your play?

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Like I won't back you about who ate something out
of the refrigerator at the precinct, like not happening. Lucius
is like, don't give me you that holier than thou crap.
I know how you work, and Stabler's like, you don't
know me, bitch, and Lucius goes, no, wonder your partner
dumped you?

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Oh shit, he goes.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
You screwed her, and now you're trying to screw me,
and Stabler naturally punches this man right in his face,
and the two of them start grappling like fresh on
the wrestling team, like they're kind of just like holding
each other's shirts and pressing against each other like there's
not even any more punches really happening, And then Finn
and Craigan other cops come in and break it up,
and one cop goes, Elliet, come on, and.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
I hope that got him his sagcard. I really do.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Craigan sends Lucius to his office and then tells everyone
get back to work. Fund's over, and then Stabler in
the office is like, you get rid of him or
I quit, and Craigan says, change and get into my office.
So now Stabler is in the locker room changing and
we see somebody in soft focus right behind him, and
who is it but Olivia Benson, looking gorgeous from the
shoulders up. And they stay nice and tight on her

(54:38):
to avoid any kind of baby bump, and she goes,
I like that shirt. And it's like, aren't these locker
rooms separated by gender? Do they just let the female
and the milk cops just change in front of each other?
I can't imagine that the NYPD would be that liberal,
you know. But he's like, what are you doing here?
And she says, I heard what happened between you and Blaine.
It's like, oh, the fight that happened ten minutes ago.

(54:58):
Word travels fast, like did Fenn did? I was like,
did Finn text you with like T nine on a
flip phone to like let you know what's happening? Like?
Is she in the same building in computer Crimes? I
have a lot of questions how she out there so quick?

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Shining for her in this way that it makes it
seem like she's not downstairs, but yes, exactly, And then
he traumatic he walks over to her like really quickly
and squinting, And these are the moments where I do
know the show is fucking with us, because that seems
exactly like a moment in any other show where he
would run to her and like kiss her.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
Like I felt like it was almost like a kiss
was gonna happen. And then he goes, why didn't you
tell me? And Olivia's like, Elliet, we've been partners for
seven years, longer than anybody else here.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
We needed to change. I'm sorry I should have talked
to you.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
It's just too complicated, like and there's like sparks between them,
you know, and he goes, thanks for dropping by, and
he walks off, very mature, right, And Stabler is in
Craigan's office now, and Craigan is like, I'm not letting
you quit or Lucius quit, and Stabler's like, well then
I'm out of here. And he goes, you know, you're
just running away from yourself. And he goes, you know
why I paired you with Lucius. Stabler goes because you

(56:00):
started drinking again, just casually joking about his captain's addiction,
and Craigan goes, so that you would know what you're
like to work with. He goes, I don't lie to kids,
and Craigan's like, bitch, you bend the rules all the time.
Don't make me list every time you've crossed the line.
You're a good cop, but god knows how Olivia put
up with you for so long. And he goes, well,
Olivia is a saint, and it seems very sarcastic, and

(56:22):
Craigan says, get over to the Orchestra teen's house with
a warrant, and Stabler tries to complain, and Craigan goes
full angry dad and goes, you will work this case together, understood,
And Stabler just walks off with his tail between his legs,
and then outside he sees Lucius waiting for the els.
Oh yeah, you know that is angry Dad. You're going
you're doing it, you know. So he Stabler sidles up

(56:45):
next to Lucius up front outside the elevator, and after
a couple of seconds of silence, Lucius goes sorry about
your shirt, and then Stabler goes sorry about your face,
and suddenly these two are just giggling all the way
to elevator town. And Stabler's like, look, we've got no choice.
Let's just work this case, all right, and Luci just
goes fine with me. And it is funny because I
do sometimes think that that is how men make up. Like,

(57:06):
my husband was in a fight with a friend for
a year. They just didn't speak and Jared was super
mad about something and then they just ran into each
other at a bar and started talking and he goes, yeah,
we're fine now. I was like cool, Like no resolution,
just like we moved on, you know. But now we're
at the home of the Bixton teens, Mia and Kenny,
and they're asking the mom like do you own a car?
And she's like, we can't afford a car. And they're like,

(57:28):
do you have access to a car. She's like, we
live in New York City, why would we need a car?
And she says, well, Kenny and Mia were at school
two afternoons ago, and I don't know what time they
get home because I work at the laundromat till eight.
Rudy is their brother, So they start asking him and
Rudy is in a wheelchair and his arm is in
a sling and his face looks bruised, and he's like, yeah,
they came home after school that day and they asked
what happened to him, and he claims he fell down

(57:50):
some stairs and hurt his leg, broke a couple bones,
and then O'Halloran calls them over and he finds this
souvenir bat for the Bronx Gators and he's like that,
I think this is the assault web been And then
he does the old black light trick and blood and
skin fragments glow. So they must have beaten her unconscious
with this. But it's like a souvenir bat, like it's
the size of a hot dog. Like I it just

(58:10):
seems like a weird weapon. There's really but that's what
you would put in a you know, two Saturday. Yes, yes, yes,
for that. You know we've seen worse, but it's also horrible.
But the souvenir bat as a murder weapon.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
You know.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
They are coming up with new things all the time
on the show and I applaud them. So now they've
and it's a souvenir bat for the Bronxkaters.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
What's that is that? Like?

Speaker 1 (58:33):
A is that a real I gotta look that up.
Hold on, Nope, not a real team. There's the Harlem
Gaters was a professional minor league football team. But yes,
there's no Bronxkaters anyway. They must be some Triple A
baseball team out of the Bronx. So next they've got
Mia back in the cement bars room with her lawyer
now this time, thank god, so shady Lucius can't like

(58:53):
screw her. And they throw the bat down in front
of her and tell her that it's got Jessica's blood
on it, and the lawyer is claiming they could have
found that out in the street and taken it home.
And then they show her shoe print and it's all
adding up and soon we're gonna find the knife and
the van and met your blood to the blood on
her clothes.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
And the lawyer is.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Like, say nothing, and Sabler's like, just tell us what
Jessica did to you, And the lawyer shakes his head no,
but Mia still talks. And Mia goes she stole Rudy's
hat and she says, I saw Jessica wearing that hat,
and I asked where she got it, and Jessica said
she stole it from some fat slob who was stinking
up a park bench. That's her quote that Jessica said
she knew that she was one of the people who
beat up her brother. So now we cut to Kenny,

(59:30):
who's being interrogated as well.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
I mean, they should talk, said Dolores from Jersey about
slab because she didn't like that being called a slab either.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Oh, she did not like being called a slob, which
I agree that it's it's honestly the wrong word.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
She should have just said bitch.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
But so then we cut to Kenny who's in his
interrogation and he says they kicked Rudy so bad they
put him in the hospital.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
It cost him his job.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
And he's like, damn right, it was time for payback
and Stabler goes, so you grabbed her, beat her and
cut her. He tells them Rudy's hand has gangreen under
the bandages because of his diabetes. The doctor had to
cut off three of his fingers. I wanted her to
suffer like he did. And they're like, why did you
sexually assault her? And he goes, she called my sister
a pig and said pig should never be allowed to breed.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
So this girl's got a mouth on her. Now.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Little baby Jessica is in the woodblind's room and she's like,
I would never say that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
I don't even wear baseball caps. I don't even know
any of these Brixton kids. And they're like, well, they know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
You, and Sabler says, and she's like, yeah, because they
kidnap me, tortured me, and you're treating me like it's
my fault. And then in walks mister Cindy Lauper aka
David Thornton, who plays defense attorney Lionel Granger, and we
know when he walks in there's money involved.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
He's only working for the richie riches.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
And he ends the interview, of course, but they're like,
we're questioning her about an assault, and Granger is like, oh,
is there a police report for this assault?

Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
Is there an er report about this assault? It didn't happen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Why don't you do your jobs and go charge the
little sorry, large bastards who ruin this girl's life.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
So yeah, like disgusting.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Attorneys are making fat jokes and it's not cool, but
I think they're trying to paint a picture here about
how people are flippant about this kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
And the next scene, you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
Know, because you said that that was hot dog size,
Now I do want a hot dog.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
I know you want an all beef dog.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
I know I'm sensitive to suggestion.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Well I didn't eat anything. Well, I also got this
macha cake. I gotta stop thinking outside the box. I
don't I don't want these things.

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
You have a couple of safe foods. That's what the
Arphin girl has told me. Safe. How is the arfin
rosy uh saga going?

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
Yesterday she tried a carrot that had been seasoned in
my dinner, and we didn't tell her it was a carrot.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
She just wanted to bite.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
She goes, oh, it's good, and I was like, you
just ate a carrot, bitch, Like she would die if
I told her she ate a carrot. So and now
I'm like, maybe, like soon we're just going to start
making blue aprons and just being like, this is dinner,
eat it like and if she doesn't, you know, I
don't know, well, obviously we'll luc have to offer safe
foods at the same time.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
That's part of it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
So Oscar eats everything off my fucking plate like he's
he's adventurous. But in the next scene, Novak is there
and she's like, dude, he's right, I've got nothing on
the Rudy assault, and I've got everything on Jessica's assault.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
To put those kids on trial. She's like, Rudy's a
grown man. He didn't report his assault.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Even if he did, it's not an SVU case, and
Craigan says, type up your d D fives and move on.
So the next scene, Lucius is bringing in some paperwork
to Craigan on Jessica and is like, okay, what's my
next assignment? And Craigan gets a call. They turn on
the TV and Assemblyman Molina is there talking to New
York One while a protest is going down about how
NYPD finds the attacker of the white girl but not

(01:02:38):
the person of color who nearly gets beaten to death.
So Craigan is like, all right, I'm right on top
of that. Rose hangs up the phone and there's some
kind of suit at one PP was on the phone,
and obviously they're back on this case because it's political,
and never mind, Rudy is an SVW case now, So cut.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
To the protest.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Molina's talking to a crowd outside the Bixton's building and
taunting Stabler, and Luciah says they arrive. So to Lucius,
he's like, congrats on investigating a three week old crime,
and he goes, we investigate crimes that are reported to us,
and then Stabler's like, what's your two connection, and he's like,
we grew up on the same block. So Lucius knows
the us I'm woyman. So now Rudy is telling them

(01:03:17):
his story. He's like, I was on my way home
from work. I stopped for a minute. I felt I
must have fallen asleep on the bench. Next thing I know,
two people are beating me up, calling me fat scum,
saying get your fat ass out of this park. And
I'm not sure I would recognize them again. I was
protecting my head. I couldn't see through the blood. And
he heard one say get a picture. He saw a
flash and then they left, and he said, and they

(01:03:37):
took my cap to and they're like, why didn't you report?
And he's like, you don't understand, and Lucius says, yeah,
I don't. Why would you let like Lucius is being
a dick to this kid who's a fucking victim. Lucius goes, yeah,
I don't understand. Why would you let your little siblings
fight your fight? Why are they in jail but the
people who attack you are free? He goes, because I
got so damn fat I let children beat me. So
he was obviously have a lot of shame surrounding his

(01:03:59):
attack and that's why he didn't report.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
So there is no name they know as SVU detectives.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
Yes, yeah, exactly, there's we got nothing on Rudy's assault,
Like there's no security cam footage, there's no forensics. Maybe
the picture is on Jessica's phone. So then Finn walks
in to say if it was, it's not there anymore
because Mia checked the phone and said it wasn't there.
And now the phone is at the bottom of the
East River because that's where Mia and her brother threw

(01:04:27):
it after they checked for the picture. The phone record
show that Jessica made a lot of calls before and
after the attack on Rudy. One was to Tommy the
weirdo from the hospital, and the other one is to
an Internet sign on page and maybe she was emailing
something like a photo. Computer Crimes is already on it.
Uh oh, do you smell what I smell? Another Benson

(01:04:47):
cameo at Computer Crimes. This guy's like, oh yeah, our
newest recruits. Sweet talked to Warren out of a judge
and you know that's fucking Benson. And there she is
hiding that bump behind a huge two thousands computer monitor,
and there she's like, yep, we got our ISP, which
took them straight to some website that's password only, Like
these are for websites that we usually only see with

(01:05:07):
jihattists or like with child sex abuse images. And the
site is called scratch your Itch dot Net, which, if
you've seen our live show.

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
One of a favorite of karas I would say it is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
But I didn't know what it was, like I think
I forgot. I thought scratcherr itch dot net was like
a fucking hookup site, scratch your itch, like just go
get a quick, get a quick piece of ass, and
then move on. Like I thought it was one of
those anonymous quickie type websites, because if you've seen our
live show, we do do a compilation of all of
svu's best websites, and so I thought this was a
site for fucking but no, it's a group of people

(01:05:39):
to post about other groups of people that they hate.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
And I was like, I didn't realize that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
Maybe I'll take it out of the slideshow if we
ever do it again. But Anthony Anderson says like eight
slurs in a row, and Olivia says that like slurs
for gay people, black people, overweight people, you know, like everything,
and Olivia says, overweight people are a special favorite on
this site.

Speaker 3 (01:05:59):
There's even threads about how to get.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Rid of them, and in the thread there's a post
about here's another way to get rid of them, and
it shows them attacking Rudy and he's getting beat up
by Tommy Strahan and the video was taken with Jessica's
cell phone. So they go to the high school. They
arrest Tommy and he's like at first, like he's so
hold in march. He goes, how can I help you detectives,
and then they arrest him, and Jessica's there too, and
they arrest her and he tells his friend Luke, call

(01:06:22):
my dad, I need a lawyer, and Luke is like
world star and just films the whole thing on a
fucking Pom Pilot or some.

Speaker 3 (01:06:28):
Really old phone.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
But that is they do linger on it for a
really long time and it is important later. So now
we're at the precinct and there's a lineup of white
teen girls.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
Which we don't get often.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
We really don't get a lot of like young white
ladies being lined up to get picked out, and Rudy
cannot pick her out of the lineup, but then he
immediately I can barely pick her out as Ruoney Mara.
I don't think she looks like herself, but anyway, he
immediately picks Tommy out of the lineup of white teen boys,
and Tommy says, I don't even know who that person is,
and in walks Granger again, and he's like, you've gotten

(01:07:00):
he ideed my client because it was on the news.
We cut the footage from New York One, which is
like New York's local station of Tommy's arrest being taken
on his friend's palm pilot. That item was broadcast thirty
minutes before the ID, so you have no proof that
he saw it, but you have no proof.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
That he didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
The idea will be tainted and a judge won't allow it,
which is really wild that that high school kid got
that footage to New York won that quickly. What about
the picture from the website? They're like, well, you can't
really tell who he is, and like, my client was
playing poker at a friend's house that night. You guys
have nothing like basically saying, obviously, this rich kid's going
to have friends back him up and say he has

(01:07:36):
an alibi for the time of the attack. So now
Lucius and Stabler are like brainstorming. They're like, maybe we
can get the eightya to use the photo to get
a warrant for Tommy's house. But then they stop talking
when Rudy comes up. They see him and they're like, yes, sorry,
we had to let both of them go, like you
did an idea the girl and then there wasn't enough
evidence to hold Tommy. And Rudy's like, oh, he must
have had a good lawyer, and they say, sorry, we

(01:07:59):
wish you'd forward in the first place, like still kind
of victim blaming. And then Rudy says, yeah, me too,
and wheels away. But we've just seen him clock Tommy
leaving with his lawyers, so obviously something bad is about
to happen. So Stabler and Lucius are chatting when we
hear hey, hey, I'm talking to you, and it's Rudy
calling to Tommy, and then he pulls out a gun
and says remember me, and he shoots Tommy right in

(01:08:22):
the chest and blood splatters all over Granger, and I
will say, it's kind of satisfying for like a millisecond
to see Granger like off his guard, like he because
he's so confident and smarmy all the time, and now
he's covered in his client's blood and.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
He's like, fuck and I do like that. He's gonna
have to like book a therapy appointment for that. So
they I don't think.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
He's probably like, oh this, I just got this suit,
you know. So they tell him to drop it. They
scream call a bus, and then you know, we got
we got fade to black. And now Novak at the
top of AAC four is like, how the hell did
this kid get a gun into a police building with
the security And they're like, nobody ought to search a
guy in a wheelchair, and so they're like, well, what
do we do now, Craigan says, keep digging.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
Lucius is like, these two psycles are the ones who.

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
Started this whole thing talking about Tommy and Jessica. Novak
is like, okay, but they've been punished, like she was
raped and mutilated and Tommy is dead. So that's how
we find out that Tommy is actually he's fully dead.
There was no point really in calling the bus. They
took the law into their own hands though, these kids
and now in walks Assemblyman Molina and he's like, you're
gonna plead Rudy out right, and Novak is like, no,

(01:09:28):
I'm going to try him for murder. And Molina's like, well,
he saw the man who brutalized him walk free. He
acted out of rage and despair. Novak's like, well, the
defense will definitely try that, but you're not going to
bully me into a deal. And Molina's like, no, he's
just one victim in an epidemic. And he starts talking
about obesity and type two diabetes, race class and geography.
He says, all guaranteed that Rudy would be obese and

(01:09:50):
would be put on that park bench to get attacked.
And Novak's like, a judge's not going to let you
use a health issue as a smokescreen. And then Molina
comes in with the stats. He's like, forty one hundred
people are diagnosed with diabetes every day, every day, fifty
five go blind, one hundred and twenty and get kidney failure,
two hundred and thirty have a limp amputated. And that's
every day. And this was in two thousand and six.
I don't know if things have improved or not. Novak says,

(01:10:12):
it's got nothing to do with the case. But Molina
says he's the case and by the time he's told
his story, no jury will convict him. Now we're at trial,
Rudy is on the sambying, questioned by his defense attorney
Serena Waldron. Who is none other than Natalie Cole, a
fucking legend of music?

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
The daughter that's a double take, I got, No, that's
not that's camp.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Yes, I don't know that is her, though I know
it's her, So what is yeah, rest in peace, unforgettable,
the daughter of Matt King Cole, Like, I mean, a
musical legend and she's only in one SVU and this
is it? And she asks him how much does he weigh?
He says three twenty. He says he's always been heavy.
Most of his family is big, and that his favorite
food as a kid was Snippy snowflakes and he loves

(01:10:51):
Snippy because it was his favorite cartoon character. And the
toys were in the cereal box and he's like, my
mom had to work, so TV was our babysitter. Casey
objects like, are we getting a rundown of every meal?
This dude's ever eaten? And Natalie Cole is like, I'm
trying to illustrate how hard it is to teach a
kid to eat responsibly, especially when the teacher is the
TV that is purposely selling these kids garbage. And Casey says,

(01:11:12):
your honor, she is testifying, which we've heard before, and
the judge orders the jury you have to ignore those statements.
I don't know how they could forget it. But he says,
my mom didn't cook. She was too tired for working
two jobs. So we would go out for burgers, get
fried chicken, order pizza, and eat in front of the TV.
Rudy can also like the actor's doing a really good job,
like he can barely breathe as he's testifying, like he's
taking deep breasts and like, you know, it's labored breathing.

(01:11:36):
And he says, after he was diagnosed with diabetes, he
went to a clinic and he was doing great. He
lost fifty pounds, he got his blood sugar regulated. But
then the clinic closed because they were sending too much
money to cigarette sting operations. The hospital couldn't afford it.
Insurance company said it was too much money. He doesn't
have health insurance at the moment, so it's like he
is a good example of how really our healthcare system

(01:11:58):
is failing him as well. And she asks him why
did you shoot Tommy? And he goes, I was so mad.
I was blind with rage because of what he did
to me and my family, and he was gonna walk away.
She's like, are you sorry, and he goes, yes, I'm
sorry for what I did. Now it's Casey's turn. She
starts out soft, like, whoa, that's a really sad story,
and then she morphs into full pit bull mode.

Speaker 5 (01:12:17):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:18):
She goes through the events. She's like, this is what happened,
and then this, and then this.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
And he must you must have known the kid was
gonna walk, and that's why you brought a gun because
you can't really like he went in for a lineup.
He brought the gun no matter what. Casey was smart
to catch that, and he says that's right. She's like,
how did you know he was gonna walk? And she's
and she goes, you didn't know you were gonna shoot
him no matter what. Right, So she goes, you weren't
blind with rage, you planned it. You aren't sorry, are you?

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
Are you?

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
And he goes, no, I'm glad he's dead, and I
do it again. Novax right, so he gets to say
his piece, but Novak's gonna win this case. At this moment,
Casey walks into the precinct deflated. She's like, I'm not
proud of what I had to do. She's like, I
go to the gentle giant until he snaps, and then
Lucius says, Finn found the Bronx Gators baseball cap. Jessica

(01:13:05):
is wearing it in a photo taken from the security
cameras at Coreta Scott king Hi the day that she
showed up for that concert practice. And then suddenly Benson's
there and is like, uh, I've got some more dirt
on Jessica. I've been following her online. She's obsessed with
wait and she hasn't been at that fancy high school
for long. She's been in some very interesting places, which
is what Benson says, why cause it's just some weird

(01:13:30):
way to say. It's a funny way to say it
to me and what they're getting to. So cut to
Lucius bringing Missus Joaquin Phoenix into interrogation where Stabler is waiting,
and she says, shouldn't I have my lawyer?

Speaker 3 (01:13:42):
Here and they're like, no, girl, it's chill. We just
have some questions.

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
And it's like, Sabler, you're now doing just what Lucius
was doing. Her saying should I have my lawyer here?
Is like the same thing as like can I have
my lawyer here? And like they're basically like, no, girl,
you're good anyway. They're like, you said you never wore
that hat, but here it is, and they slap down
a picture of her, clear as day. Coreta Scott King
Hi has got the high def security camera's baby. She

(01:14:06):
is picture perfect wearing it. It is her, it is
her face. She claims, oh I found that hat. It's like,
but bitch, you told us you didn't wear you didn't
wear baseball caps, so what's up? She says, you can't
keep me here, and she gets up to leave. And
I'm just noticing that Lucius is sitting right behind her
dangerous mind style, So that is very funny to me.

Speaker 2 (01:14:24):
And do people sit dangerous mind style anymore?

Speaker 1 (01:14:28):
I don't see it. I don't think I see that
out in the wild very much. But maybe, but I
don't know. It feels like now everywhere you a place
where you would sit dangerous mind style, like a burger
joint or something. I feel like all the chairs are
bolted down now you like can't turn them around.

Speaker 3 (01:14:44):
But anyway, what he used to do at burger spots, well.

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
I feel like it's always like a diner, Like it's
always like the max On saved by the bell, Like yeah,
it always takes it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
And turns it around. But I feel like now everything's
kind of I.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Don't Michelle, I forf yes, absolutely, that's where of course
dangerous minds.

Speaker 3 (01:15:03):
But if I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:15:06):
If I looking in the hall of dangerous minds, poses
Sabler goes, you hate fat people, don't you, And she goes, no,
I don't mind them. It's a really weird way to
answer it. And Lucius is like, what about me, I'm
kind of heavy? Do I disgust you? And then they
try to bait her, and Stabler's like, people can't help
being black or gay, but fat, that's their fault, right,

(01:15:27):
And then Lucius is like, yeah, they have no pride,
no self control, and Lucia says, check this one out,
and he goes, check out this heifer, and he slaps
down a picture of Jessica age fourteen, that is Rouney
Mara photoshop to be much larger, and then another one
of her at fifteen and they're like two hundred thirty pounds.
It's like insane the way that this episode is going,

(01:15:49):
Like she's.

Speaker 3 (01:15:50):
A formerly overweight.

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
Person who is now self hating and hates people that
are overweight, Like, I don't know, Like, but.

Speaker 3 (01:16:01):
It's so is a bad person.

Speaker 2 (01:16:04):
Yes, yes, so they confront her, but also she deserves
of her finger and not be sodomized.

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
This is very a twisted take sure.

Speaker 1 (01:16:11):
It's a twist, yes, for sure, for sure, Like and
they're like, this is from your yearbook at Hidden Glades
Ranch in California, a very exclusive school for very heavy teens.
Like I just think it's so wild the way they're
like gotchaying this girl who like are like, you used
to be heavy, And then they're like that place gave
you lots of good diet, lots of exercise, trict supervision.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
And she's like, why are you doing this?

Speaker 1 (01:16:34):
And Luci's just like and here's the final result, a
beautiful young girl who hates fat people, but got shea
used to be on her style and then she breaks
down and screams, you don't know what it's like people
staring at you. Everybody you eat the jokes you're a leper.
And they're like, is that how you saw Rudy? Is
that why you attacked him? And she said Tommy started it,
but yes, I couldn't stand the sight of him. She admits, Okay,

(01:16:55):
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. But it's like you're not sorry, bitch,
like you have these feelings. And Olivia is looking through
the glass with Casey, who says I'll take Like Who's like,
you're gonna take this to the defense, right, and Casey's like, yes,
but it won't help Rudy much, Casey says, but Benson says, well,
some of Jessica's money might have helped him, and Casey says, like,
they say you can never be too rich or tooth thin.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
I don't know why she says that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
Quote, because you can definitely be too thin, right, you
can die from being too thin.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
But anyway, Yeah, there's a whole movie called Thinner, and
we interviewed the actor from ITTT Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:17:31):
Yeah, so, Robert John Burke. If you're wondering that's true, Ducker,
he was embarrassed when I brought it up.

Speaker 2 (01:17:37):
I remember being like I loved the thicker a thinner
and I scared the shit out of me. Even the
commercial terrified me as a child. And he was like,
can we please not talk like he was like, God,
not thinner.

Speaker 3 (01:17:47):
Who knows if that even made the interview. He goes,
I was really excited, but geez, I don't know. It's
like it is a cool Stephen King movie. But we
cut the court and the jury is there and they're
ready to They're like, sorry to interrupt, jog it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
And remember Jonathan Silverman when I was like, how is
it to do Beethoven three?

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
I love it at them holes and he was like,
oh Jesus, you know we.

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
Weren't working talking about yeah, we needed a pay for stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:18:14):
Like He's like, I got a mortgage. But god, it's
so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:18:19):
But I think it's it's like people are gonna like
some of the bad stuff you make. You should just
embrace all of it, you know. But in court, the
foreman comes out. Unfortunately they find Rudy guilty. But when
they pan over to him, he is not at the
defense table. No one knows where he is. At the precinct,
Lucius is packing up his desk because you know, he's
been at SVU for five minutes and he's got a

(01:18:39):
lot of knick knacks he's got to take home in
his little paper box. And he tells it's like, but also,
how does it feel to be used as a punishment
for others? Like, you know, like they're like, listen, you're
gonna go to the Manhattansview because there's a guy who's
being a bad boy. So we're gonna show him what
it's really Yeah, we got a hot head. Yeah, we
need you to teach him at and it's gonna only

(01:19:00):
just be a couple of weeks. Don't get too comfortable.
But he was there going what's my next assignment? But
I don't think he knew it was coming, but you know,
he tells Sabler, Yeah, Rudy was rushed to the hospital.
He had kidney failure and his left foot was amputated.
So the guilty verdict is kind of irrelevant when he
has a death sentence anyway, Lucia says, and then he's like, uh.

Speaker 3 (01:19:20):
Sabler goes, oh, are you leaving? And Lucius goes, yep.

Speaker 1 (01:19:22):
Captain says to close the case and move on, and
he goes to shake Sabler's hand and goes, well, I
won't say it was a pleasure, and Sablor goes take care.
And then Stabler gazes at the empty desk that Olivia
usually sits in, which is empty once again. Because the
episode starts out, I feel like I keep losing people.
And even though he hated this guy Lucius, he's out
of his life now too.

Speaker 3 (01:19:43):
And that's dick wolf baby. Yeah, so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
Sorry, this episode is so fucking crazy and wild and
I but let's we have some controversy about this episode
to tell you as well. Oh yeah, obviously he did
not get Runey to be a guest on the podcast Today.

Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
But she has spoken.

Speaker 2 (01:20:03):
About this, okay, so Rooney Mara. She was quoted in
Allure magazine interview talking shit about this episode and she
called it. In quote she said, it's so awful, so stupid.
She complained to the magazine. And this is reported on
from the Today Show. People are obsessed with that show.
I don't get it. In the episode, me and my boyfriend,

(01:20:24):
although I don't look old enough to have a boyfriend,
went and beat up these fat people. And at the
end of the show you find out that I used
to be obese, and I hate fat people. It's ridiculous.
Who would ever do that? Who would beat someone up
because they're fat? And as retribution they sodomized her. I mean,
I've been sodomized since the beginning of my career. I
should have known then it would have come full circle.

(01:20:45):
And that's obviously about you know, girl on the train.
What is it with the tattoos?

Speaker 3 (01:20:49):
Girl with a dragon tattoo?

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
Yeah, thank you, Sorry to have combined it with the train,
but there's a girl on the train.

Speaker 1 (01:20:56):
Though.

Speaker 3 (01:20:56):
The Girl on the Train is an Emily Blunt movie.

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
Yes, oh okay, it's same genre, dark dark, distressed a mission, Yes, okay.
So she said that, which but then on Perez Hilton
she's quoted.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
Well, the New York Post picked it up, you know,
obviously splashed it around, and then she was getting some
shit for like why are you talking shit about a
show that gave you a job or whatever, And so
she responded, she.

Speaker 2 (01:21:24):
Said, first of all, the SVU think that's just not true,
but you said it. I mean, it is a quote,
like I don't I don't know how a lure could
have like twist misses strewed. Yeah, so but I don't
know how she's denying it, but she does. She has
quoted in this Paris Hilton post from like twenty eleven,
that was my first job. It couldn't have been more
exciting for me. It's an experience I hold very dear
to my heart. People take things out of context, and

(01:21:46):
that's just not the case. I was more nervous doing
that job than I was doing this job. It's really
silly people, especially with young girls, they feel they need
to make them out to be a certain way. And
I feel so grateful for any job I've ever gotten.
I feel grateful. Yeah, yeah, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:21:59):
Really don't want to keep doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
But she said every single job has shaped who she
is and led me to where I am now. It's
hard to have to talk about yourself all the time
and things are out of context. And whatever that quote was,
I don't know, but it's certainly not what I meant.
If anything, I didn't mean that the I didn't mean
that the storyline was ridiculous. I meant that humanity is ridiculous. Okay,
I mean that's an f l P.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
Hating people that are larger is stupid, is what she
I guess is like, how she's spinning it, but yeah,
I want I think it also sounds like she doesn't
get us view and is like, I mean, who would
do that? It's like, I don't have you seen somebody else?

Speaker 3 (01:22:32):
There's more wait, hold.

Speaker 2 (01:22:33):
On, Okay, So she goes, I meant that humanity is ridiculous,
and then she goes, I know that Law and Order
makes their episodes out of real things that are happening
in the city. So to me, by ridiculous, I meant
that humanity is ridiculous. People are awful to one anout
of there, and to me, I find it ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
All right, Rooney Mara, everybody, she has spoken and she
enjoyed her time.

Speaker 3 (01:22:53):
So there there you go. You buy an interviewer. We
got it out of a lure?

Speaker 1 (01:22:57):
Or is this billionaire pr I mean? Or did she
really mean that? Who fucking knows?

Speaker 3 (01:23:03):
Because that's good. That's fucking good.

Speaker 2 (01:23:12):
So we're gonna move on, obviously, And it's a great
day here in the SVU studios.

Speaker 3 (01:23:17):
Ak, that's messed up studios.

Speaker 1 (01:23:20):
Not a murderer or a rape, not a not a
violent crime in sight. So that's like pretty incredible, and
it's kind of like what Rooney Marras said, they're using
things from around the city, and this did happen in
New York City and you know a lot of Meanwhile,
just to clarify, I'm sure that people absolutely have been
attacked for being heavy and that people have done that.

(01:23:42):
There just isn't like a clear case that we could
find that this was based on.

Speaker 2 (01:23:47):
Oh yeah, I'm sure lots of crimes happen, but this
just happens to be like around the you know, this
is it's like a big thing in the city, and
then it got national attention because it is silly. And
then obviously the New York Posts had like a rude headline.
You know, they came through how they should. So this
is story basically about two teens versus McDonald's, which famously

(01:24:11):
I do love McDonald's. Your husband once said that's his
favorite thing about me is that I love McDonald's. But
you lived so close to one too, so that's like
pretty lovely. But yeah, I love it. And they have
inside out too toys right now, just so you know.

Speaker 1 (01:24:28):
Yeah, I'm dying for McDonald's to get the mcplant going
at all their places.

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
I think that they're not going to wait, did I
talk about this? If I have, you can stop me.
I went through the McDonald's drive through just for a
diet coke and an inside out toy.

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
Okay, that's what I wanted, so yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
And then I pull up to the window and she
hands the drink and I'm looking at it weird. I
don't get I don't know what's weird, but something is weird.
And she goes, oh, sorry, we're out of ice. I go,
you're out of ice. It's the two ingredients I need
in this concoc Like. I like the shake, Like that's
what I'm here for.

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
Like what?

Speaker 2 (01:25:01):
And I go, I get if I got other food,
but I only came.

Speaker 3 (01:25:04):
To get this. It seems wild not to tell me.
So she gave me two toys, but that is well.
I do that all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
If I'm hungover, I go through McDonald's drive through for
a fry and a big ass fountain coke.

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:19):
This is like full deja vous, where we've had this
conversation eighteen hundred times, like I don't know, like that way,
I feel like I've been here. I've been sitting here,
which means we didn't even have it that long. Ago
because it all seems familiar to me. But yeah, I'm
a big McDonald's fan. I don't know what to say,
but I know the harms associated with eating it, you

(01:25:41):
know what I mean? Like, I don't think it's healthy.
And that's kind of how we you know, why this
we stumble onto this? So two teens? Did I already
say their names? No, Yaslin brad not even one back.
Get I just went on a monologue how I love
McDonald this giant corporation. Okay, Jaslin Bradley and Ashley Pellman

(01:26:06):
contended that they became obese while frequenting to McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (01:26:10):
In the Bronx.

Speaker 2 (01:26:12):
They basically claimed that McDonald's did not provide sufficient information
about the health risk linked to its meals. Jaslin loved
to supersize her meals, and she did a m This
was before supersize me because then there was no more
of that. They really shut that down, But I wonder
if they just made everything bigger.

Speaker 3 (01:26:28):
Anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:26:28):
Anyways, Okay, and he just passed away recently? Oh really,
Morgan Spring Yeah, like like two weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (01:26:34):
Yeah, I mean McDonald's is that movie was huge? Yeah?
Why you didn't see it?

Speaker 1 (01:26:41):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:26:41):
That's so wild, and as a vegetarian, I find that
strange to you. I feel like I would have. I
just never got a chance.

Speaker 2 (01:26:48):
It seemed like, well I was also really young, so
maybe things did exist like I but when I saw it,
I was like, oh, first of its kind. This doc
just like blew the lid. He put his body through
this thing. I don't know, it seemed like.

Speaker 3 (01:27:01):
Yeah, no, for sure, I would say bockative at the time.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
If you think about like a documentarian that people know
who that is, it's like Michael Moore and Morgan's Burtlock
like name brand, you know, like he name brand.

Speaker 3 (01:27:15):
You know. It was huge. It was a huge doc.

Speaker 2 (01:27:18):
Yeah, I can't believe you didn't. But I guess maybe
you're ready not really associated with MCDI yeah, yeah, But
I wonder what the hold up is for the plants,
like what.

Speaker 1 (01:27:29):
Because they released it in LA at a couple of places,
but they were like in Long Beach.

Speaker 3 (01:27:33):
They were so far away, and I was like, what's
going on? But I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:27:37):
Maybe the impossibles like not even making Burger King money.
But I'll tell you, I go to Burger King Moore
because I can get impossible burgers.

Speaker 3 (01:27:42):
There, even though I like the fries better at McDonald's. Oh,
but it is exclusive. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:27:50):
The mic plant was discontinued in twenty twenty two, so
I don't think there's.

Speaker 3 (01:27:56):
Going to be They're not even doing it.

Speaker 5 (01:27:58):
Yeah, they were doing some try, but I I think
it's happening at all.

Speaker 2 (01:28:03):
It's weird because they probably can't use impossible maybe beyond's
not good or like they can't make, but food scientists
can do anything like I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:28:12):
Yeah, it's confusing for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:15):
Do you remember they had those salads in a shaker
cup with like the dome lid. Yes, I miss I
was too young to'll be like, oh I want that,
but right now, like I would love a shaker salad,
are you out? Like I can't even imagine. I'd be
so happy. Yeah, yeah, a little salad on the go
in a content like I would love to shake that
cup of salad.

Speaker 3 (01:28:36):
All right, tell me about these girls.

Speaker 2 (01:28:38):
So Jaslyne she did a McMuffin in the morning and
then a big macmeal with an apple pie in the evening,
which the New York Times called the standard operating procedure.
And then Ashley Pellman was more of a happy meal
girl because she really liked the prizes, and they were
around nineteen and fourteen during this time, Like obviously the
lawsuit lasted longer so around this So then the two

(01:29:02):
teens decided to sue McDonald's corporate and the two Bronx franchises.
Their lawyer, Samuel Hirsch, took this case on with the
desire then to make it a class action for all
children under the age of eighteen in NYC who have
had health problems from McDonald's. And he like this was
his passion, Like he was very into this. He had

(01:29:22):
other kids, like he really wanted this. Wow, he was
he just like was anti McDonald's fast food and tried
to get kids that like didn't have the knowledge. And
he's just like passionate. But of course, like, honey, it's America.
We're run by corporate you know what I mean, what

(01:29:44):
are you talking about? Like, I feel cigarettes, it took
decades to get any sort of movement. Now it's pretty
you know, commercials, none of that anyways, So and then
the company's lawyers are like are you kidding me? They're
like everyone knows what it means to eat a fries.
They're like, no, one is confused what we're doing here.
But Bradley's father, Israel, said he never saw any nutritional

(01:30:07):
info or ingredients at the restaurant, and in an AffA David,
he wrote, in quotes, I always believe McDonald's was healthy
for my children.

Speaker 3 (01:30:15):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
So then hersh's like, hello, they spend a billion dollars
in advertising two kids in quotes, young individuals are not
in a position to make a choice after the onslaught
of advertising and promotions that is in the New York Times.

Speaker 3 (01:30:30):
And then the McDonald's spokesperson.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
Walk Riiker went too far, I think, and he said,
no one cares more about kids than McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (01:30:44):
It seems insane, it is, it really is.

Speaker 1 (01:30:50):
So that's you know, but I bet you the NFL
has been like, no one cares more about our players
than the NFL.

Speaker 3 (01:30:55):
It's like you, no, like they're all at the all FCT.

Speaker 2 (01:31:01):
Yeah, no one cares more about kids than McDonald's. Okay,
So Riker claims that McDonald's makes nutritional info known on
the website, brochures and posters, and then the New York Times,
though at the time at this time did visit for
the article. One of these locations on Bruckner Boulevard, and
which was one of the two named in the lawsuit,

(01:31:23):
and so, and then the listing of ingredients in the
food could not be found at all. And then the
other location, by the way, if you want to make
a pilgrimage, is twenty six thirty Jerome Avenue.

Speaker 3 (01:31:34):
So that's that.

Speaker 2 (01:31:35):
And then January twenty second, two thousand and three, a
Manhattan judge he threw this all out.

Speaker 3 (01:31:41):
He was like, are you out of your mind? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:31:43):
I mean he he was like, come on, and he
declared people are responsible for what they eat, and that
the teenager's complaints could spawn thousands of mclawsuits in quote
if they are upheld.

Speaker 3 (01:31:55):
So the judge, Robert W.

Speaker 2 (01:31:57):
Sweet He wrote that there can't be legal consequences to
hamburger consumption unless the consumers are unaware of the dangers
of eating such food. He said he dismissed the suit
because plaintiffs they failed to show that McDonald's engaged in
deceptive practices and that the consumers had inadequate access to
information about McDonald's products. And so his comparison is to asbestos.

(01:32:20):
He's like, nobody knew the dangers of asbesos until decades later.
That's a different than burger and fries have fat in it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32:31):
So and at the end of the day, the problem
is more that our government allows us to eat poison.

Speaker 3 (01:32:39):
Like that's what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:32:40):
The bigger problem is why are we eating bad things
with bad Like other countries have better food laws, yes,
and they also have McDonald's, but they're not suffering the
same problems as us.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
Yeah, And.

Speaker 1 (01:32:56):
Like it's a similar thing with like high fructose corn syrup,
like other countries don't use that, Like but.

Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:33:03):
It's like everybody, Yes, everybody knows a brogram for ies
have fat. But it's almost like there's so many things
that are up there that are like, hey, alcohol, if
you're pregnant, alcohol is bad for your baby. It's like
why would we not do something like that, Like that's
all kinds of places. There's like elevators and shit where
it will just say like by the way, this premises
might have X like chemical and if you're pregnant, that's

(01:33:24):
not great for it. Like that shit's everywhere, So I
don't know why it would There wouldn't be like disclaimers
that are.

Speaker 3 (01:33:29):
Like they do calories.

Speaker 1 (01:33:30):
Now, yes, now they do calories, but it's like eating
this once in a while or once a week is
not even that bad once, but doing it as your
meal every day, that was like what Morgan Spurlock was
trying to prove. It's like the consumption of it as
your constant full men, like full diet is what's also bad,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:33:47):
But I also understand, like if you're a teen who
wasn't taught it, like if you just don't know and
your parents don't know, then you don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:33:55):
And I think it's hard for people to grasp that.
I went to college and I was not drinking a
drop of water. I was drinking Snapple raspberry Snapple iced
teas six a day. Maybe like I should not have
been doing that, Like nobody told me, like, oh, by
the way, drinking.

Speaker 3 (01:34:11):
Juice, like basically juice.

Speaker 1 (01:34:13):
It was like equivalent is like so sugary, that's so
bad for you. And then finally, like when I figured
it out, I was like, oh fuck, I should just
be having like one of these.

Speaker 3 (01:34:21):
A day, maybe, you know, Like it's just you just
don't always know.

Speaker 1 (01:34:25):
And I don't think in general, our education system talks
enough about like nutrition and health because the food pyramid
we've talked about this is like bullshit too, right.

Speaker 2 (01:34:33):
Well, I think they've I think they've admitted that. I
think they said, whoopsie, maybe not eleven servings of bread
a day.

Speaker 3 (01:34:39):
Right, bread and dairy on the bottom, bitch, damn.

Speaker 2 (01:34:44):
I mean, it's so interesting being a kid because we
took a field trip to the local grocery store, jewel,
what's up the time of my life? Like I truly
remember that field trip being like amazing, so just cute. Okay, yeah,
So but this judge was eighty and he had a
lot of zingers, and so the New York Times is like,

(01:35:06):
you know, he was around before McDonald's was ever a
big part of the culture, so he just wasn't having
it like very I mean, he's eighty, we I don't know.
So he at one point called McNuggets he goes are
a Mcfrankenstein creation of various elements not utilized by the
home cook.

Speaker 3 (01:35:23):
And I kind of like that.

Speaker 2 (01:35:25):
And then others, like several other suits began to pop
up during this time, but this one actually made it
the furthest in the court system of any others, which
and then it was thrown out and then after this case,
now at least twenty six states have common sense consumption laws.
And again it's like we're protecting these corporations, which I
do think is bad and I think our quality of

(01:35:45):
food should be better and we should have Europe's laws
of like chemicals and bad stuff. And then it's also
known as the cheeseburger law. So and this is only
made me want McDonald's. So that's kind of tough for everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:36:00):
Guess I know where you're going right now?

Speaker 1 (01:36:02):
No, no, no, no, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm
gonna hit up that ten dollars Noki. I think, yes, baby,
all right.

Speaker 3 (01:36:10):
Well, sorry to tell.

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
I feel like I keep giving clues to where I
live and I have to stop, like people are gonna
zero in on what's going on.

Speaker 3 (01:36:16):
I don't think.

Speaker 1 (01:36:16):
Everybody's gonna track you down via ten dollars, Joki. That
would be crazy. There's gotta be a few places in
the city that offer that. But that was a great
thank you for telling us about that lawsuit. I knew
about the hot coffee lawsuit, but I don't know if
I knew that anybody had ever done it. For the
actual food.

Speaker 2 (01:36:34):
Well, the hot Coffee one. There's a whole doc about
about it, and it's actually like the girls got fucked
over huge. Sorry I didn't cover that. I really didn't.
You know, it's like that's the same. Yeah, But let's
get into our post mortem. No guests today, baby, just
more of our thoughts.

Speaker 3 (01:36:52):
All right, let's.

Speaker 1 (01:36:53):
Get into our post mortem for this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:36:56):
I mean it is lucky we're doing back to back. Really,
I mean she did to get assaulted. I was like,
you know, from Shadow to Fat or really on a
fun roll.

Speaker 3 (01:37:04):
But there's brutal crimes, there's zaf yes, but it is wild.

Speaker 5 (01:37:09):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:37:10):
And that the reveal at the end of this episode
is truly insane, Like just the doctrine photos of Rooney
Mara from her specialty obesity school that she was hidden
away at is insane.

Speaker 3 (01:37:26):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
But but it does sound she'll never be able to
play piano. I don't think again like her the fingers
are sure sure? I mean, wait, have you other sen
I probably have brought it up on this fucking podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:37:39):
I really gotta get a memory in a life.

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
But do you know that Allison Williams movie with the violin,
the cello and oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:37:47):
I saw a commercial for it and I couldn't watch it. Okay, no,
no crazy. In the commercial there's something moving underneath the skin,
and that's a deal breaker for me, Like anything that's
like wiggling underneath your skin.

Speaker 3 (01:37:59):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:37:59):
I cannot watch it, Like it makes me want to die.
The Perfectation, that's cool, Yeah, the perfect Perfection. Yeah, she
would be good for cinematrix. Sorry, yeah, I mean she's
a little scream queen herself, to be honest.

Speaker 2 (01:38:11):
Wait, guess who's in that. Guess who's in The Perfection?
Friend of the Pod, Stephen Weber. Oh so maybe, I
mean step It's a crazy movie, but I get the
I get the like maggot skin.

Speaker 3 (01:38:26):
There's another thing.

Speaker 2 (01:38:27):
Is it insidious where there's bugs crawling in a face?

Speaker 1 (01:38:31):
Or is it just a well there's a there's something
like that and long legs. I close my eyes. But
bug movie, Yeah, two thousand and six, I remember. Yeah, hmm, Well,
I was gonna say there was a preview for another
movie that's.

Speaker 3 (01:38:46):
Very M Threegan as I call it.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
That's from the same producers, I believe as M Threegan
about like Ai and like Alexa kind of like coming,
like coming alive and it looks creepy and oh.

Speaker 3 (01:39:01):
There's a movie. Hold on, We're going to get into
the post mortem of this. Hold on. Have you heard
of this movie?

Speaker 1 (01:39:08):
It's got Demi Moore and Margaret Qually and it's called
The Substance No Never, And it looks freaky and like
right up our alley, Like, I think we're gonna have
to see it. And when you see Long Legs, I
bet it will play as a preview. But I had
seen just like a post about it on Instagram and

(01:39:30):
read the little blurb and was like.

Speaker 3 (01:39:31):
Oh, this is this is good. This is good.

Speaker 1 (01:39:34):
It's like about it's like about, oh it's coming out
on my birthday, it's coming out on September twentieth. But
it's like about women and aging and stuff like that.
Do you want me to read the log line?

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
A fading celebrity decides to use a black market drug,
a cell replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better
version of herself.

Speaker 3 (01:39:53):
That doesn't sound like a good idea at all. No,
But the movie looks. No, the movie looks incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:39:59):
But it's like, yeah, if you're creating a younger version
of yourself, it will attack you. I'm making leaps, but yeah,
it's never science will attack you. Yeah yeah, yeah, wait
this looks so good.

Speaker 3 (01:40:12):
Okay, yeah, I'm like subsence. That's on my fall list.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
You know, she's she's a NEPO that really keeps it,
keeps it, has it going on?

Speaker 3 (01:40:22):
Is that something to say? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:40:24):
And I like, I do like a NEPO that uh
has a different last name. I think a lot of
people don't know, don't even know, you know, well those
who know, no, that's yeah. I mean you know, look,
you're a Maaya hawk. Jack Quaid also came forward and said,
I'm a NEPO. I didn't know Dennis Quaid was right wing.
I just found that out. I just like him, like

(01:40:45):
he was so inner space, like he was so cute young,
and now he's like an old guy married he's been
married four times, but he's like, this one's the one,
the the one that's the age of your children is
the one.

Speaker 3 (01:40:56):
Uh. And then I and then when.

Speaker 1 (01:40:58):
That ad he was in a movie that had an
add on for at the Long Legs and Jared just
lean over goes you know he's right wing, and I
was like, I didn't know that I wish I didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:41:07):
Know, But anyway, this episode is wild. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:41:13):
There's no lessons here in this episode. Don't be mad
at people who are overweight, don't be mad at people
who have brown hair. I mean it's like there's you
can't hate people for for no fucking reason. It's like
that's the that's the moral of this episode.

Speaker 3 (01:41:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:41:26):
Well, and stop projecting, you know. Yeah, it's like these
are your own issues. Let these people live. It's like
you think this guy has it too good. He's missing
a foot, you know what I mean, like, leave him alone.
I don't I don't understand attacking someone that's like it struggling, Yeah,
already struggling. If you want to go pick on some
don't pick on anyone. But if you're gonna pick on someone,

(01:41:48):
make sure they have everything going for them first.

Speaker 3 (01:41:50):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:41:52):
And I'm glad they got the footage of her stealing
that hack, cause she was trying to act like such
a little such a little cutie.

Speaker 2 (01:41:59):
Well, you know, I was singing while we were talking
about the right wing. There was like a comic once
and he goes, you know, if Handmaid's tail was real,
like I wonder if i'd be a good guy.

Speaker 3 (01:42:07):
I've told you about this, and then I.

Speaker 2 (01:42:08):
Was like, you absolutely would not, And he was shocked
by this answer, and I'm like, you would not put
your life on the line for women's rights, Like, stop
pretending you would fight the system.

Speaker 3 (01:42:18):
And I kind of want to message him now and be.

Speaker 2 (01:42:20):
Like, you know, it's time to start your handmaiden's tale,
good guy journey, babe, right right?

Speaker 3 (01:42:25):
Are you time to really stand up?

Speaker 2 (01:42:27):
Like I kind of want to, you know, message him,
be like, you know, time is about to start kicking
for you to really prove what.

Speaker 3 (01:42:34):
A total what a guy you are.

Speaker 2 (01:42:36):
You know you gotta help your Yeah, he married someone
that was I think twenty five years younger than him.
Oh baby, and then we do jokes about her acting
crazy and it's like, oh, you don't relate to this girl.

Speaker 3 (01:42:50):
Oh she's acting immature. Interesting?

Speaker 1 (01:42:52):
Yeah yeah, yeah interesting? Oh who could have called that interesting?

Speaker 4 (01:42:56):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:42:56):
Also, update to my gay husband, he wrote, and I'll
iron our clothes and bags, so you know.

Speaker 1 (01:43:03):
There will not be a crinkled tell far strap to
be found in that home.

Speaker 3 (01:43:08):
There will not there will not.

Speaker 1 (01:43:11):
Every there will be a full telfar closet in that
home with separate sides his and hers tell far sides
of the closet, because that would be America that I
want to live in. We do have so many telfars
between us. I would say, you sure do, you sure do,
but I'm on a freeze.

Speaker 3 (01:43:29):
I'm on a freeze.

Speaker 1 (01:43:30):
Well, now that we know also that that little Liberty uh,
the Liberty mascot carries a little tell far I mean
it so cute bait.

Speaker 3 (01:43:38):
Well, yeah, little for little to her proportions.

Speaker 1 (01:43:42):
Okay, let's move on to our what would Sister Peg
do for this week? That's our weekly segment where we
direct you towards an organization, an article, a book, something
to give you more info about.

Speaker 3 (01:43:52):
What we talked about today.

Speaker 1 (01:43:53):
And today we wanted to point you to a page
on World Obesity dot org that covers ending weight stigma.
Weight stigma refers to the discriminatory acts and ideologies targeted
towards individuals because of their weight and size, and it
is the result of weight bias. There are so many latent,
stigmatizing beliefs about people with obesit that you can have
weight bias without even realizing it. And this page lays

(01:44:15):
out a lot of those untrue stereotypes and what drives
that stigma. It's also a resource on how to tackle
weight stigma in personal relationships and in the workplace. So
for more info on that, you can head over to
Worldobesity dot org or as usual, we will link to
this in the story on our page on our Instagram
page that comes out that day That's Messed Up pod,

(01:44:37):
and it will be saved forever in our WWSPD highlight
also on that Instagram page, which I hope you're following.

Speaker 3 (01:44:44):
It, sure fucking will.

Speaker 2 (01:44:46):
And next week we will be doing parasites from season two,
episode nineteen, So enjoy that, babies. We'll see you next week.
Give us some stars, keep living your lives, make good choices,
and may good memories. We might not be able to
make more, so yeah, make some memories.

Speaker 1 (01:45:06):
We need signing off from the American Democratic Republic of
the United States before it's over.

Speaker 3 (01:45:12):
Oh my god, I just can't believe this is happening.

Speaker 1 (01:45:16):
Bye.

Speaker 3 (01:45:17):
No, hopefully we can podcast for as long as you
know we can.

Speaker 1 (01:45:20):
Hey, we're going to podcast, so they pry these microphones
out of our cold, dead hands.

Speaker 3 (01:45:24):
Bye, everybody, see you next week.

Speaker 2 (01:45:34):
That's Messed Up as an Exactly Right production.

Speaker 1 (01:45:37):
If you have compliments you'd like to give us or
episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email
it That's Messed uppod at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:45:44):
Follow the podcast on Instagram at That's Messed Up Pod
and on Twitter at Messed Up Pod, and follow us
personally at Kara Klank and at glitter Cheese.

Speaker 1 (01:45:54):
As always, please see our show notes for sources and
more information.

Speaker 2 (01:45:57):
Thank you so much to our senior producer k C.
O'Brien and our associate producer Christina Chamberlain, and to our
mixer John Bradley and our guest booker Patrick Cottner, and
to Henry Kaperski for our theme song and Carly Jean
Andrews for our artwork.

Speaker 1 (01:46:12):
Thank you to our executive producers Georgia hard Start, Karen Kilgarriff,
Daniel Kramer, and everybody at Exactly Right Media.

Speaker 3 (01:46:19):
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