Wannabe

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Of the Law and Order franchises, SVU is considered especially watchable.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the
vicious felonies. These episodes are based on.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
These are our stories.

Speaker 4 (00:10):
Done done, Yay, that's messed up.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
An SVU podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
My name is Lisa and I'm Kara, and this podcast
we recap episodes of the iconic show Law and Orders
for you.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
We recap crimes.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Sometimes we talk to a guest, sometimes we don't, but
first we chit and chat hit chat.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
It's wild, like I do bring up SVU no matter
where I am, and it's multiple times. It's like SVU
and soul cycle and I really need to find something
else to talk about.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
I know, I like my oh and dexter. My friend
just went my friend just went to a sex party,
and I go. So my understanding is, and my understanding
is from Law and Order SVU, is that there are
large playrooms and then there are smaller fuck rooms. And
she's like, that's actually pretty accurate. I'm like, everything I
know is from the multiple sex clubs I've gone to

(01:15):
via Law and Order SVU.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Well, I actually have a brush with the law. I
don't know if you spoke to your friend Rachel. But
our friend Liby did a fundraiser. She does it every
year at Bellhouse and it's people bring tampons and sanitary
like woman's products for shelters. And right now it's trying
to get them into schools because I didn't know, but
I guess there's a new law in New York that
schools must provide sanitary care for students, but they don't

(01:40):
have an increased budget.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
So now these schools are like kind of scrambling. So whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
So afterwards, we walked to a bar and we're at
the bar. Everyone you know, we're a bit, we're mostly
a big group. It's a weekday night, so we're at
the bar and you know the bar, it's Halliards and
Julie and I are at the bar and we look
over and there's just kind of a grubby look guy like,
not to be too judgmental, but like just looked unsavory, okay,
And he goes and sits right next to all of

(02:08):
our friends, and I'm looking at him, and Julia goes, well,
it could be someone's friend. I go, that's not anybody's friend.
So she goes, let's grab our purses. So we grab
our purses and live our lives. Next thing we know,
a woman's bag was taken, an umbrella was thrown at
our other friend.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
He was causing chaos.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
The bartender calls the cops on him because there's stuff
I don't even see. Seven cops come, maybe eight, none
of them white. Like it was a United Colors of
Benetton ad.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
It was like set. We were all trying to like,
fuck these cops.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I don't know, you know, like we were so excited,
and people kept looking at me being like, look at you, smile,
you are thrilled. I go, I can't even believe we're
in the litle bit all of all this. They've been
looking for this guy all day. He's been going from
bar to bar. The cops have been chasing him around
the neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
You knew immediately, you knew immediately because so the Julia,
I'm like, I don't know, maybe it's just a guy
in a bad day, you know. And so then this
is what's crazy.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
So we're giving information where like it says Yale on
the T shirt, we're telling him everything that happened, what's missing, whatever.
All the cops leave within three minutes. This guy's back,
so that means these cops couldn't find him. His T
shirt's now inside out, which means he heard us talking
to the cops about the Yale.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
So that means he was nearby. Cops didn't take him.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
All of them leave, so he comes back and starts
like lighting his lighter at us over and over because
we're outside smoking weed obviously, and he goes, I got
a brick, so we run inside. He throws a brick
through the bar window, glass broken everywhere by the pool,
saying look up, no, I guess he took a pool
cubby on the bar, like, but this time he's outside

(03:46):
through the brick or umbrella, he broke a window.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
The cops come back and like, that's that. But it's
also like, he brew through a brick through the window
of the bar that you were in, Yes, oh my
fucking god.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
So then the bars under So then the cops came back.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
But it's like, why didn't one of you stay, like
you've been looking from all day? Well, I could tell
you how you lost him, like what? So they all
left and then they all came back, and it's like,
but you, why wasn't there one uni here or like
why didn't you at least walk around the block.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
He clearly was.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Listening us to us tell the cops, like he was
wearing a Yale T shirt this and that, and then
he comes back with his shirt inside up.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
In the time that you between you guys like them
calling the cops and the cops showing up.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
This guy just kind of strolled away, right. Yeah. I
think he got gone because he was taking stuff.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
He took people's stuff and was and threw an umbrella
at Natasha the chef.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Oh my god, not Natasha, yes Jesus.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
And then I was everyone just kept looking at me
being like you're loving this. I go, yeah, to be
in the middle of all this, and you know, and.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Was this like last night or two nights ago? Yes, yeah,
I've been waiting to talk. I've been waiting.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
God, I'm like waiting to talk about the brush with
the law. And just like immediately like this guy doesn't blow.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now is that shit? That is fucking crazy? But you
know how to clock them, you really do. I feel
like you clock a psycho.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
From a mile away.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
But then also two guys a run out there like
he's coming back. Like everyone we were like in it.
We were all in it together. So yeah, it was
quite exciting. But I feel like, did we go to
another I don't think I went home early though. Yeah
we kept. I mean the window was broken and we
were still in there. Oh my god, yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
But it just shows the an effectiveness of police because
it's like within minutes of them leaving, this happened. And
so it's like one of you couldn't have stayed. I
just don't get it. I just don't get how you're
that bad.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
But also so New York for you guys to all
just like carry on with a broken window and like
a brick has just called through it. You're like, somebody
clean up the glass. I have a martini to finish.
The people playing pool continue to play pool like the
with broken glass ships around them.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, oh my god. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
It was quite silly. It was quite silly.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
And then I do have a couple of celeb sightings
for last night, so I do. It's been a big day,
a big Okay, So I arrived at so our friend
Ali mckofsky's birthday. She's gonna meet me late night at
the cellar. You know, she's in town. So I'm you know,
I see her, I'm walking towards her. Then there's someone
I'm not really that into, but I say hi, and
then I look and it's Adrian Grenier and your.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Least favorite character from The Devilwaar's Prada.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Well, not only that, he's very attractive, there's no two
ways about it. Yeah, no charm and it got worse.
So I just like didn't care because I didn't like
the comedian he was with, so I immediately was like, well,
this isn't the crew for me. And Adrian was mean
to someone in my life that I so in my head,

(06:55):
I'm immediately like I'm not fucking with this guy. But
he is also so like I'm okay with the situation
as well. But then he starts making jokes that were
so bad, like Ali's like, hey, do you have gum?
And he points to his gums and goes, I got
a gum right there, and she goes, oh, you don't
have any more?

Speaker 3 (07:13):
He goes right here my gum.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh no, and I'm like so uncomfortable, and he goes, yeah,
I'm thinking of getting into comedy. You know, amateurs are
funnier than professionals.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
A lot.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
I feel like I can do it, and then continue
to make horrible jokes. So then finally he talks about
Ali as a farm, so I'm interested. So then I
finally A'm like, oh my god, what kind of animals
do you have? And he goes, well, my wife, and
then I just stare and he's like.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Well and lives. You know, you get it. It's a joke.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
And I just went and I go, I'll see you
later Alli, and I went inside, and then she goes,
I thought you were going up. I go, no, I
just couldn't really be around I couldn't be around it.
I couldn't be around it. And he made another bad joke.
But I'm like, I'm blocking it out of my head.
But oh my god, I'm obsessed. I was just like,
I'm going inside. I can't.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I can't, like what the fuck? But still like a
super babe. It's kind of like though maybe he's kind
of like the John Hamm character a Dirty Rock, you know,
it's like he's kind said that and he never had
to develop like real personality or jokes.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
So then I go downstairs to the other I'm at
the seller. I get off stage. A server comes up
to me, Greg and he goes, John Hamm is here
losing his shit. No, he's obsessed. I go, oh great,
you know love a celebri.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Oh he saw you?

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, yes, So then I you know, that's nice. But like,
I'm living my life. So I leave. I'm almost home.
I'm walking home. Shane's Horras texts me going, John Ham's
looking for you.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
You gotta come back, double back, babe. I can't believe
you left. I can't believe you left. You heard a
celebrity was sniffing around like like likes your comedy, and
you were like, I'm on a head home, Like what
were you feeling that ill?

Speaker 3 (08:54):
Like, well, I don't understand. No, I didn't think about it.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
It was just like, oh I didn't I don't know.
I just didn't even think about it. So of course
I come back. I'm like, I'm in a car, I'm coming.
So I came back and I hung out a little
bit with John Hamm and his wife, who had a
terrible Bravo opinion.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Who's John Ham's wife?

Speaker 2 (09:14):
She's beautiful, beautiful, and she said the two worst people
in Bravo larsa. I can agree. And then Derinda and
I go excuse me, I go. Ramona's word, she goes, no,
I go. Ramona's a trumper who is the rudest person alive,
like Derinda just has emotional damage and is a blackout
drunk like that is different. But yeah, she thinks Direnda's

(09:35):
like evil and that was really hard for me to hear. No,
John am was just giving me compliments and I loved it.
And then you know, I was acting and he's like,
is this weird? I go no, I feel great being
summoned by you to get compliments, and like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
This is great. So he feels like he's like a
guy that's really into comedy, doesn't he know?

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Oh yeah, so he just did Doug Benson's I Love
Movies at Grammercy and then they did dinner and then
they just like walked in because they're famous and like
to laugh.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Oh that's fun. So dogs, No, dog wasn't there. I wish.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
But how funny that you mentioned John Hamm and that
was the next celebsode I had crazy well because.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
You met because John ham is hot as hell, but
I think actually has a good personality. Maybe he was
dorky as a kid or something. I bet Adrian Grenier
has been like a little heart throbbed since he was
a child.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Just kidding.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
You can't be a child heart throb but you know
what I mean. But he's just been like a hot
guy as well. Then John emailed me. Oh, for those
of you on the let our listening, she's showing me
the notification on Gmail of an email from John Ham.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
What's emailing you about? Listen?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
We'll talk about it later. I love that it's all positive.
It's all positive.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
Who is his wife? Though? Now I'm like who?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I forgot her names? I feel rude, But she was
like really pretty and like fun. Well remember his what
girlfriend that he was Jennifer Webb but they were never married?
And then no, but I love her. I liked her movies.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
And they have one movie about like Amya, Rudolph Sin
and a bunch of people where it's like different couples.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, I forgot what it's called Friends with Kids. I
think it might be called oh wait a minute, this
says she's been on Law and Order. Svew hold on
kidding me, John Ham's wife.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, okay, that makes sense because I kept staring at
her and I thought she was from America's Next top Model.
I was like, but I'm like, that doesn't make sense
time wise. I'm like, yeah, how do I know this woman?
So she's an SVU.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Yeah, she's in an episode. We got to look it up.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
But I'm dying to know what you and John Ham?
How you and John Ham's Hey, you know what, maybe
we'll double We'll do a lunch meet you. Marcia gayhearted? Wait,
so she likes she hates Larsa and Derinda. That that
is a wild take. Although I hate Lara, we can
confront her for something. Yeah, Larsa's awful, but that is

(11:55):
not Dirinda. Derinda would house you, Derinda would go out
of your way. Deornda would be nice to your family.
Like yeah, like Laurena gets me during is a mean drunk.
That's that's all we can say about Durinda. She said, jah, yeah,
but she's not a mad person.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Wait, have you seen the documentary on Netflix called Unknown
Number that everybody is fucking talking about everyone's talking about.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
I haven't watched it, but I know that this story
was huge, so I know what it's about.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
People. We talked about this and I go, no, this
was the case. But we talked about it. I think
because a few years ago I read the article in
The Cut. There's a long article in the Cut about
this happening, and the Cut was constantly.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Like, even after I read it, they were feeding me this.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Article as like a paid article to try to get
me to like join or whatever subscribe, And I think
I talked about it on the podcast maybe yeah, And
then I just like woke up one day and my
feeds were like filled with images of this woman.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
I was like, what is this from?

Speaker 1 (12:57):
And then when I looked, I was like, Oh, that's
because it's weird when you read an article about one
of these things, you have like the victims and the
people all in your head of like what they're going
to look like, and like the mom is not what
I thought she would look like, and so I was like,
who is this woman everyone's posting?

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Is this somebody from like Love is Blind? And then
it was like the mom from unknown number?

Speaker 1 (13:16):
And I'm not going to spoil it, but it's on Netflix,
and yeah it does have a pretty wild twist. And
I will say, like the whole time I was watching it,
I don't know can I.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Talk about it or like, is this bad?

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Am?

Speaker 1 (13:31):
I spoiling. I'm going to talk about this for two more.
Many people know.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
I mean, if you are on a meme, like the
fact that this is even a surprise twist ending is
very confusing because I mean maybe we're a little more
in tune.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
But it's like this was a big article. Yeah, yeah,
it was around everywhere, but it was just to me.
It's wild that the guilty party participated in the dock
because I think they thought they were getting their story
out there, but I think the doc made them look
even worse.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Well, yeah, it's like I read somewhere that it's Munchausen
by technology in a way. Yes, it's like, you know,
she's obviously disordered and probably thinks she did nothing wrong
and she's the victor.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
It's a classic narcissist traits.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
She literally says, you know, we all do bad things,
and like you've probably driven drunk and never got caught.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I just got caught.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's like the fact that you're trying to equate somebody
making a stupid mistake, like I don't condone driving.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Does that happen with a friend in my past where
I was like and then this happened, and that sucks
and they're like, well, like, you've not done anything bad.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
I'm like, I've been to jail. I don't think I'm Markedy.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
That's not Yeah, what you did is actually done lots
of things. Why yeah, you're like, and it just said
a lot about how she Also, I will say, like,
I mean, I think it's spoiled at this point, like
just keep fast forwarding. But like, I think that the
documentary and the article a little bit are downplaying that

(14:51):
she was actually obsessed with her daughter's boyfriend, Like I
think he was a little bit Mary Kay Latourneaud also
like I think they're trying to make it seem like
it's just the technology she just got caught up in,
like the the like the high school gossip of it all.
But it's like she was volunteering to coach the guy's team,
Like she was asking is he dating anyone new? Like
after they broke up, Like the sexual shit she was

(15:11):
writing to her daughter about her daughter's boyfriend was wild.
And to me, it's like they were downplaying that this
woman like wanted to fuck this teen boy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Interesting, I have to watch it. I have to watch it.
You know, I've been in my Dexter hole that I'm
out of. That's it's like you could watch it like
it's quick, it's like easy, but I'm out of the
Dexter hole. I've watched the finale three times. I could
move on, and I've watched the whole series now again,
from one through new Blood through resurrect Ivery. Watched my
Gosh season again and you.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Went all in.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
You did Baryl Girls, Trinity Killer, Ice Truck, like the
whole thing, all.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Of it, all of it.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
I did it all. It was like hard, like I
remember having like a stomach ache watching that whole season.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
I think about the Barrel Girls season always. I think
I must have said this on this podcast a lot
of times, but whether I'm on stage or in the world,
when I see like a group of men with this energy,
I go they would kill girls in a barrel and
say yeah, I'm like, these are barrel Girl men. And
I'll ask her, I'm like, who's Stine Dexter And when
I say it, they go, yeah, like that we talking about.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
It when we did on the episode where it was
like the girl that was carving like uh things on
the guy's chests, yes, because they all like attacked her
at summer Camp because they're Barrel girls. Guys.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, yes, Barrel's like guys. I think about the movie
promising young women. There's just h men that like they
might have murdered a stripper and they got rid of
the body. Yeah yeah, or like I just don't trust men.
But anyways, but the finale was awesome. It's just like
cool to see there. I can't wait for you to

(16:54):
watch it, Kara. It really is so for the fans,
and the end of this season of Resurrection is really
kind of like a nod to the original finale.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Everyone hate it. It's like their redo.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Because it's kind of a cute thing where you feel
like they're acknowledging, like they know everyone hated it and
how bad it was, and this is kind of they
fuck with it. They're they're really smart, and I just
felt like it was for the fans. It's what they wanted,
is what we wanted. And it's like I felt edge
of my seat, then calm and then anticipation.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, I'm gonna watch it like this week, this week
and weekend, like I'm getting into it.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
It's like top of my list.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
I only watched the Unknown Number thing because I was
with Jared, and he's not gonna watch Dexter with me?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
But wait, would you say, wait, are you gonna watch
Did you watch Barbarian yet?

Speaker 3 (17:41):
That was part of your own not? Yeah, but I'm
gonna watch that with him because.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Spooky season is entering, so it's we're on the cusp
of spoo. Rosie's already purchased her Halloween costume. It's September ninth.
What is she a K pop demon hunter? She won't
even watch that shit? Can you believe it?

Speaker 3 (17:55):
Like Oscar and I watched it last weekend. He loves it.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Rosie watched five minutes of it with her best run
over the summer and said, I don't like this.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
I don't think she likes that.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
It's like a little bit girly, even though the girls
are bad asses.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
She's like, you know how, She's like against that stuff.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
So Oscar loved it and he wants to be one
of the K pop girls for Halloween. But he's very
wildly vacillating back and forth between ideas, so I'm letting
him ruminate.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
Rosie fell in love with a.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Stitch costume at Target and bought the Stitch costume and
it has been putting it on every day after school
and she's gonna be Stitch for Halloween.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
That's cute.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
She likes to wear like a head like a sweatsuit,
a jumper, yeah, like a like basically, yeah, she likes
to wear a Uni suit. I do have more celeb
name drops, if that's part. Okay, So I shot a
little thing this week, but I would say obsessed with
Poppy lou Dynamic to watch a star again, like I can,

(18:51):
I will do it. I will go to the end
of the earth for this woman. Like she's so everything
I could have ever wanted. And she had like such
a cute dog. And then Adam Pally is like my
new favorite person, obsessed like on like I was laughing
so much.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
He's one of the.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Funny happy people.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah yeah, And I had the best time and a
shit talker, a shit talker, a gossip and fun so talented.
I learned a lot and like I just left being like, oh,
you're like the best.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
I saw gabriis the night after that, you told me
that you were doing the thing that way, and I
was like, oh, Lisa just told me she's doing this
thing with Pali and he was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
and then he was talking to me about how you
guys made that Nutrition Is Life a Living hell at
the show, and I was like, yeah, I heard about that.
I was like, don't. Like, I'm sorry if you're a

(19:41):
Nutrition is like, don't do not agree to a panel
show with three comedians, like especially those two guys who
have been like best friends for like decades and are
like bit bit machines, you know, like.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
So funny honestly, like stand ups are funny, and I
think I judge improvisers and I think they're like losers.
But then when you're with someone that's like that good
and funny and quick, and you're like, oh, this is
like maybe I yeah, Well.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Gabris was, and Gabris was on my show doing stand
up because he does stand up too, but he was.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
Really he was so funny.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
He was telling we were we were chatting, but Pally
was my sketch teacher like a million years ago.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Well, and I also because of his watch What Happens Like,
I don't I'd never met him until this summer.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
I just had a different version of him in my
head too. I don't know he has like he loves
his kids. I don't know I just like, yeah, I
was like very excited to have my couple of days.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
No.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
I when I met Poppy at that party, I was
like at this kid's party, I was like, do you
want to be best friends?

Speaker 4 (20:38):
Like?

Speaker 3 (20:38):
I love her, She's so great.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
When I got to work with a baby, they were
twins and truly the baby a baby. Oh yeah, yeah yeah,
And I wasn't asking if you had twins, like you
have a baby in the thing.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, Adam and I are married and we have the wins,
but but you know, one baby at a time. But
the twins are working. But this baby, I had to
have the baby in a while and it just feels nice.
But the baby like fell asleep on my body. I
the baby truly was like side and then head on

(21:17):
my shoulder and like knocked out like so like it
was really cute holding the baby.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
For sure.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
I cannot wait to see mom Lisa in this project. Yeah,
it was fun.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I mean I just was like really happy I have
met everyone, but especially the two of them.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, really exciting. Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
We do have to start, I guess. But I was
the beginning of the school year. How's that beginning of
the school year. You know, I'm VP of the BTA.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Now it's really really stressful, but it's it's good. You know.
It's just like a lot of stuff going on, a
lot of meetings at the beginning of the year. But
you know, the kids are doing great, their love they're
at the same school together. Now, you know, I'm still
I'm getting the same thing. The school is saying the
same thing to me that every single summer camp said

(22:07):
to me about Oscar. Any tips on how to handle Oscar?
And I'm always like, not, really, you could tell him
that he's not gonna get this thing that he wants
to get. That's it. Like he is a bit of
a wild child, you know. So I don't have any tips,
but they would love to know. He is really funny though,

(22:29):
He's so funny, Like the shit that comes out of
that kid's mouth, it's like he's putting Rosie to shame.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
Like he's so fucking crazy and weird.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
He makes up lies constantly now and I go, oh,
can I ask her about that?

Speaker 3 (22:40):
And he goes, no, don't.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
After he tells me some long ass story, I go, so,
can I ask your teacher about that? And he's like, no, no, no, no, no,
don't ask her like he's such a liar. And his
eyes like sparkle and light up when he's gonna tell
me this long lie. I mean he knows, I know
it's a lie. It's like there's a treehouse in the cabinet.
You know. It's weird shit. But anyway, wild child, but
we're doing good. We gotta figure we got to nail
down his Halloween costumes soon. But everything's good with him,

(23:05):
and that's that.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
We're bet. It's September birthday. How is your birthday?

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (23:13):
Should we save that for the post mortem? Keep people guessing? Yeah,
you guys have to listen to the whole episodecause we're
gonna talk about Lisa's birthday and the post mortum.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Sorry about it. This is how we lock people in.
Well yeah, sorry, we didn't get Sharon Stone, so yeah,
they don't even know.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
They don't even know what episode we're doing it. Whatever,
there's no guest, there's no guest. I'll talk about my birthday,
no guest.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
But before we start, check out Lisa's tour dates. That's
you can always find that in like the link in
her bio on instat but also that's messed up live
dot com that has a link to all her tickets.
Lisa is going to be on an amazing show that
I'm hosting in New York City on Sunday, September twenty eighth.
It's a five o'clock show, doors at four, shows at five.

(23:57):
This is a nice little Sunday evening early to bed situation.
And it's Lisa, It's Jay Jorden, Emma Willman, Jake Cornell,
Josh Sharp. It's a great lineup and it's benefit for
the Triangle Community Center, which is an LGBTQ organization in Connecticut.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
And it's in memory of my friend Jed who passed.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
So I hope that those of you that joined us
at the Bell House in August will come out and
see me host and Lisa do some stand up. And
I think it's gonna be a great night. And I
think that's that. Let's get to the episode. Okay, today
we are doing the episode Wanna Be and I Want

(24:38):
to Be Love. Yeah, I'm like, I cannot be, Like
if you want to be a cop? Like, this episode
is so crazy. My Friends season eleven, episode twenty three.
This Baby came out in May of twenty ten. I
remembered this episode very well. I've seen him many times,
except the very end. I was like, wait, that's the end,

(24:59):
so you know, the show always is surprising me, dude.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
I had the same feeling like it felt like it
went by so fast for an episode where I was like, whoa,
that's the it's.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
I remember, like line, I remember so many specifics, like
with Sharon Stone. I was like, yes, I've seen this,
I know this happens. And then we got to the end.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
I was like, hold on, whoa.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Okay, yeah, but it's a creepy one for sure, very creepy.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
So we open up on a snake slithering around and
then we see this kid's like lollipop and basically we
pull out and we're in front of like an old
school stereo like stereo store wall of TVs, you know,
like in an electronic store.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
It's like the forty year old virgin in here, like
they're watching all the.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
TVs and the little girl is like, ooh, a snake
or whatever. And then she's trying to ask the guy
who works there, like what's the difference between this TV
and this TV? And he's jorking out and then an
announcement says, attention female shoppers, please head to the TV
department a special giveaway. And I'm like, immediately, attention female
shoppers is bizarre, Like I've never that's so weird, Like

(26:07):
I don't even care if it's a tampon giveaway at
like Target, You're just gonna say attention shoppers. Like, and
the sales guy like has no idea what's going on.
And yeah, I've said attention female shoppers has never gone
anywhere good, and it's not going to start today.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
So this sales guy's like, let me go check on this.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
And then suddenly the little girl is watching someone pull
their pants down on TV, and on all the screens
we're seeing some a guy pull his pants down, and
you know, we don't actually see it because it's on NBC,
but like the guy's allegedly jerking off, and then the
sale guy screams, got it off. So pretty pretty wild opening.
And now we're at the precinct with the gang in

(26:44):
the huddle. This guy plugged a camera into the feed
and they and then that's like and they got his
whole process on camera, and Munch goes ironically, he was
in the handheld devices aisle, and you know you got
to give it up for the jokes. His face is
hidden the guy, but he met a flash. Now we've
been doing a lot of new ones. I'm like, oh
I miss munch. Yeah yeah, yeah, for sure. So this

(27:06):
guy's face is hidden, but he matches a flasher who's
been targeting young girls around the city and he has
a birthmark on his lower abdomen with a quote freaky
resemblance to Florida. And another cop is like, you pulled
in cops from five different precincts for a weenie Wagon
task force, and it's like plot twist that actually what

(27:27):
we saw.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
At the beginning was two months earlier.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
So since that video happened, this guy has escalated and
three like teen girls have been raped in Central Park,
not even teens, Colleen Johnson eleven, Tina Harper fifteen, Nicole
Goshgarian twelve. They all they rape started four weeks ago,
and they all happen on Sunday afternoons. So now it's
Sunday and they're planning to grab this guy in such

(27:51):
a park before he grabs his next victim. So now
in the park, Sabler's got his Dwayne reed sunglasses on,
and they're seeing what he can spy with his little eye,
like they're all looking, seeing what they see. He gets
a radio from a cop who's like, I got a
suspect and I'm in pursuit, and we see this young
cop chasing a dude.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
But also the cop.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Drops his hat and then stops and considers going back
for it, and I'm like, no, you keep running, and
the chase is on. It's honestly a beautiful day in
the park. It's it's sad that we're chasing a rapist
because it's gorgeous. There's horse drawn carriages, which I know
are problematic, but it's a very picturesque day in Central Park.
And finally this cop who looks like a full teen
grabs the guy, brings him down, and then as the

(28:29):
kid's calling in the location, the purp breaks free and
seems to be trying to wrestle for the gun, and
so Ben and his stabler are running, radying for help
and going Officer missing, and then that's the credits. So
a pretty juicy opening scene for the cold open, considering
that at the top of act one we just see
the team cop bringing the purp towards Benson and Stabler,

(28:50):
so all that tension it's gone.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
He's fine, he got the Purp. We're good and everything's
under control.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
He's like, yeah, I tried to get away from me,
but it's all under control now, and Stabler's like, good job,
Officer Fletcher.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
And the Purp is like, why are you arresting me?

Speaker 1 (29:03):
And they're like for a rape in progress and he's like,
this guy, I was just asking for the time when
this cop came over and he sexually assaulted me. And
then we cut to the teen girl who was the
one the alleged victim in this situation. She's like, I
was just checking my watch to give the guy the
time when this cop came over and told the guy
to drop his pants. It was really weird, and I

(29:24):
have to agree that would be very weird. She says.
The cop pulled the guy's pants down and that's when
he took off. So back at the scene with teen cop,
he's showing them look, it's a box cutter and duct
tape and he goes total rape kit like and he's grinning.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
It's very wild.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
I'm like, what, you don't need to be so excited
that you found a rape kit, and he's but you
can tell something's off with this guy with this cop,
and the purp is like, it's just a utility pack,
and Stabler's telling teen Cop, okay, take this in, maintain
chain of custody, don't forget to bag and tag it
when you get back to the President Precinct. And then
teen cop is like it's him, I promise, and he
starts going for the guy's pants again and like he's

(30:00):
trying to just show them the birthmark, and Stabler's like,
what are you doing and Lives like, yeah, maybe we
don't strip strip search this man in public, Like that's
not part of what we do. So now we're in
very dark cevent room bars and Stabler has a camera
and is photographing this guy's midsection. I don't think I've
ever seen Stabler photograph a body before, but here we are,
and sure enough he has the weird Florida birthmark. So

(30:21):
then the guy just kind of shoves his shirt down
kind of it looked to me like he was like, Okay,
get away from me, and then liv goes, WHOA, we
don't need to see anything south of key West, and
they both keep going keep it in your pants and
I'm like, it does not look like he's about to
flash you, Like, it looked like he was just like
putting his shirt down. But you know, they do. They
do stuff like this all the time. Maybe the take
where he was actually trying to reach for his junk

(30:42):
didn't get picked. Wayne Hankett is this guy's name. Hanktt
sounds too close to Yankett for a guy that's going
around flashing and chaking in front of other people. But
when they ask him if he's a flasher, he's just like,
it just kind of fell out, okay. So they show
him the match of the electronic store flasher's birthmark and

(31:02):
the picture Stable just took of him and they're an
exact match, and liv says, well, you know what, babe,
birthmarks are like fingerprints, No two are alike, which I
googled and it says that's not exactly true, but I'm
not going to get into that. They're like, well, it's
too bad we didn't catch you when you were just
a flasher before you started escalating to rape.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
And he's like, there's nothing wrong with me. I didn't
do anything.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
And then this actor's name is Rafael Sabarge and he
was Jimmy Crickett in Once upon a Time, which is
a show I've never even had the smallest urge to watch,
but I know people liked it. They're telling him you've
got low self esteem inadequacy, like you had to perform
lude acts on little girls to get off on the reaction,
and then they when they laugh at you, they emasculate you.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
And he's like, no one laughed at me, Like you
are kind of.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Getting this idea here that this guy maybe didn't do anything,
like he doesn't act like a lot of other purpse do.
And liv shows a picture of Colleen and is like,
she called you lame and laughed in your face. So
you showed her, but she got away before you finished,
and the next time you cameed. So now, Fletcher, the
teen cop, is in Craigan's office giving the rape toolkit

(32:05):
that he can't stop talking about in and Craigan's like,
great job, I'll write you a rack.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Who's your COO?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
And He's like, I'm out of the two seven And
Craigan's like, oh, that's my old precinct.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
I'll put in a word with Van Buren.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Craigan says, taking a serial rapist off the street can
really fast track careers. Keep it up Champ and Fletcher
leaves but forgets the rape toolkit and Craigan's like, don't
forget to bag it and tag it.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
Enjoy the paperwork.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
And then Fletcher is at a typewriter unable to use
it correctly, when Finn and Munch approach and the three
of them have this like cute little combo about how
typewriters are outdated and how much is like old as
a dinosaur, And after that's all wrapped up, they tell him, well,
we interview the teen girl and she says, Hank it
never touched or threatened her and never had a knife out,

(32:48):
and he's like all defensive. He's like, what was I
supposed to wait for him to attack her? And Finn's like, relax,
he fit the profile, she fit the target.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
The bust is good. Just like walk us through what happened.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
So now we cut back to interrogation with Wayne and
his stabler are still trying to wrangle a confession out
of this guy while Joe Marlow aka Sharon Stone watches
him through the glass. I believe Joe Marlow was in four,
maybe five episodes of the show. In this arc as
the Ada, they tell him all three girls are on
their way here to id you, and Wayne starts crying

(33:17):
and Stabler's like, are you evil or are you sick?
And like say, Sharon Stone's watching this whole thing, going
like get him Stabler okay, Like she's like she's kind
of like narrating it. And then Wayne says, I told
my dad there was something wrong with me and I
needed help, but he didn't want.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
To hear it.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
And Marlow goes, Oh, daddy issues, and then Finn pops
in to let her know there might be a problem
with the case and she looks pissed. Marlow goes to
talk to Fletcher and he's still at the typewriter and
she's like, you're just a kid, and he's like, uh, ma'am,
I'm twenty two. And then she I didn't even know.
I guess you could be in the police when you're
twenty two. It just feels like, I guess the police

(33:53):
academy's like six months long. She introduces herself and heaps
more praise on him for catching this guy, and then
she smacks him upside the back of the head because there's.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
No hr at Svu baby, Like, I want to see
her and Sonya Paxton hanging out. Those are some broads
I would like to see chilling because they're both maniacs.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Yes, absolutely, that would be so fun.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
And he's like, what's that for? And she's like, for
being an idiot, you didn't learn basic search procedures at
the academy. She's like, he declined to show you the birthmark.
You should have brought him in for questioning. You don't
search him against his will. That's a violation of his
Fourth Amendment rights against search and seizure by pantsing him.
Which pantsing like really brings me back, Like that was
just a constant fear of getting pants back when I

(34:37):
was a child and I pants my brother one time
as a joke in front of his friends, and I
really regret it, Fletcher said.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
The guy went to.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Run I love the pantsing pantsing people I used to
It was like, I loved it. I think that my
brother one time in the underwear came down to his
boxers came down, and I didn't mean for that to happen. Yeah,
And I felt really bad, and I was like, oh,
I was supposed to just be pantsing, you know, but whatever,
are the kids still panting?

Speaker 3 (35:06):
I hope not.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
It feel like I don't very bad. I used so
also like, well, this was swim team and we were
all good at it.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
But like I liked pushing people in the pool too,
But I would never do that now, And I'm like,
I'm setting I happened forever, but like, yeah, you know,
you're not that smart.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
I'm also extremely against shoving the wedding cake in your
spouse's face.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
And that's a bit hot topic on the internet. I
want to kill people that do it.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah, well there are stories online where it's like that
happened to a woman and she left her wedding and
filed for an omit the next day.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
It's so disrespectful, Like it's so gross. I hate it,
especially if someone said no, yeah, if you talk about it,
you're like, it'll be cute. Let's shove it in each
other's face. And I see people do it a little
bit where they just get it on the lips a
little bit. You're ruining someone's makeup job like that they got.
I hate it. So I've seen horrible ones. Yeah it's yeah,
it's bad.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
So anyway, Fletcher's like No, what happened was the guy
went to run and I grabbed him by his waistband,
and that's when I saw the birthmark. So Marlow goes, no,
the girl in the park says, you pulled his pants
down and then he ran, and Fletcher's like, it happened
so fast, it was so confusing, and Joe's like, well, great,
that's gonna play great in court, you fucking dumbass. And

(36:20):
then Fletcher insists, no, he ran, and that gave me
probable cause to search him. So Marlow's telling Craigan that
it's all fruit of the poisonous tree, which is a
phrase I really love. Live and Elliott have been grilling
this guy for hours based on an arrest, which isn't
any good, and any half assed defense attorney is going
to get this whole thing thrown out.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
So they go talk to Fletcher.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
But done, done, he's gone, and he left the rape
toolkit that he couldn't shut up about, just sitting right
there at the typewriter, which breaks chain of custody. So
now that's out, So like it's like, Wow, who would
have thought a twenty two year old would be unqualified
to be a cop?

Speaker 3 (36:55):
But this kid is nowhere to be found.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
We can't find him, and Craigan gets off the phone
with the two seven and done done again. Van Buren
didn't loan us this kid. He's not from that precinct.
Where the hell did this kid come from? And Craigan goes,
I don't think he's a cop, and that's a cut
to commercial baby at the top of AAC two. They're
running Fletcher's prints and he is not a cop. Because
all the cops get be interprinted, they're in the system.

(37:19):
Marlow says, the press is gonna wet their pants over this.
How did all these cops not recognize this impostor? And
it's like it is a five precinct tag task force,
like they all probably think he's with someone else's, you know.
But liv points out, hey, Fletcher not being a cop
is good news. It gets all the evidence back in.
Search and seizure laws don't apply to civilians. We can

(37:39):
just walk around like everybody that's a civilian can just
walk around searching and season seeing each other whenever they want.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
So this might work out. But we got to find
the kid.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
Because if we listed as a citizen's arrest, we need
a signature within twenty four hours of the guy getting
arrested and we've got eight hours left on the clock,
and this is, I know, something you don't love. But
this turns into a bit of a countdown episode for
a while.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
So I hate a countdown.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Yeah, when we did count When we did, you were like,
I hate these episodes where we're against the clock and
there's a countdown.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
But maybe you've changed your mind. People change, I know.
I hate the ones. Wait, which ones countdown? Which ones?

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Count? Well? Countdown is the one where it's a little
girl's birthday party, Remember what we talked?

Speaker 3 (38:18):
I love that one.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And then there's the other, the one where we talk
to not Julie Bowen Andrea Bowen. Sorry we didn't imagine
we got Julie bow when I forgot.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
That sucks.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
I also want to say that no Countdown's one of
my favorite episodes, so that can't be real.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
No One.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
He was a man hunt, wasn't it? The one where
the guy is like a.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Serial killer and he's about to go to get executed
and there's like twenty four hours till his execution and
they're counting down like that one. I hate. I hate
that one. I don't know why But I do hate
that one with them, the death row of it all.
I mean, the countdown clock definitely ratchets up the oh
my god, the woman's in remember signature?

Speaker 4 (38:57):
Was it?

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Or what's the one where the guy has the old
lady and the thing with the countdown of how much
oxygen she has? Oh?

Speaker 3 (39:02):
That one is That One's a lot of games. That
one's a lot of game.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
But that's the Olivia Benson spelled back Olivia spelled backwards.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
And oh, I know it's not Ristian.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's called but you're I don't think
it's the Olivia backwards either that you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
It's the one where we talk to the old lady
who was in the casket, I know, and the guy
with the glasses and he wanted to be he was
pretending it was copycat or something.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
I also, I do want to add, just because you
mentioned Julie Bowen, I Eric stone Street is the takeaway
like Superstar of Dexter Resurrection. I would say he's so
good in it that he's so funny and dark but
like silly in.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
This dark universe. I don't know, he like Nail, He's amazing.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Yeah, you're not. Interviews are fun too.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Yeah, because I've been watching the Our Resurrection podcast that
Jamie Chung has been hosting. Jared went to Jared went
to Comic Con in San Diego and got like a
badge and had Dexter on it. And Kaylinn's like, where
did he get this? What did he did he get
to go to something? I was like, no, it's just
from comic Con, you know, I have that badge. Oh

(40:18):
but I got an autographed by him. I waited for
him at the stage door. But this one's a Dexter
Resurrection badge.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
But he doesn't work in the police depart Is it.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Like his, like Jared's badge, Like Jared's badge has Dexter
on it as a homo?

Speaker 3 (40:34):
Yeah, like not the same. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
Not.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
Back to the episode that we were just talking about.
It's Wrath is the episode with a Vela. You're right,
Rath is the one with like the puzzles and the
Olivias bell back.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Yeah, because we accidentally did it live in Columbia Cleveland,
in Cleveland and it was a disaster and it was
not funny and it was like a dead family in
the woods.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Sorry, you're right, I am conflating Wrath with Scavenger, which
is Scavenger is the one where the guy buries the
woman alive with the oxygen and there's a timer, and
Wrath is the episode that we erroneously did live at
a Cleveland show, and really, I think the audience thought
this is maybe a little too dark for a Thursday night,
you know. Okay, So anyway, there's a countdown. We've got

(41:18):
eight hours to get a signature. We've got to find
this fucking fake cop who's like in the wind right.
So one clue that they have is that the hat
that he dropped that he almost went back for while
he was chasing a rapist, someone found it in the
park and it's from Markham Uniforms and Guns. So Munch
and Finn bust into Markham's shop, accusing this guy of
scamming people after nine to eleven by selling homemade, crappy

(41:40):
morning bands. And he's like, I don't even make any
money from that, Like he's like he doesn't even regret
doing it. He's like, I regret that I didn't make
it actually turn a profit. And they're like, you got
forty thousand cops as your customers, why are you selling
to civilians. And it's like a guy that's making fake
nine eleven armbands, he wants forty thousand and one, you
know what I mean, Like, I don't know why you're
asking this guy that, and he swears, no, I did it.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
I don't sell the civilians.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
And then they flashed a picture of the guy and
they're like, you sold this kid a uniform and a gun.
And Markham's like, hold on, maybe the uniform, maybe the gear,
but no way a gun without a background check. So
he has one principle. This man, He's like, this kid
paid cash, he looked right, he sounded right, he had
the haircut.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
That's literally fake it, so you make it.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
That's like we're we're in the age of the scammer
right now, but even this episode is from fifteen years ago.
You can walk into if you walk into a place
looking and acting the part. Look at that guy we
just covered acted like a fucking Rockefeller, married a millionaire.
He was doing it for decades if you just know
how to act and sound right, and this guy did it.
Philp fooled the guy that sells guns and hats, so

(42:44):
they checked to see if he joined the police department,
Like but there's no record of it, like of like
this guy doing it and like maybe he dropped out,
maybe he never made it past the exam.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
And Stapler's Stabler, Stapler, I just said, Stapler.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Stabler's like, wait, do you still have that amazing art
someone made us of like Stablers, but but as a
Stabler it was in Charlotte or.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
I gotta find it. I probably bet I gave it
to you.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
If I didn't give it to.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
You, then I put it at the studio. I think
it's that exactly right, because I put it. I loved it.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
God.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
So Stabler's like, well, you know, he might not have
had to have taken the exam or whatever. There's other
ways you can learn about cap cop shit than the academy,
you know, and Munch says, yeah, I post on all
these LEO sites.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I don't really know what that is.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
And he goes and I get all these holster sniffers
who think they know more than me. I mean, holster
sniffer is wild. It's like that's people that want to
be cops or want to fuck cop like chuckle fuckers. Anyway,
Finn goes, if any of them talk less than you
have them give me a call. And that is like
what this show is fucking missing. None of these guys

(43:56):
tease each other anymore. I hope this new show runner
was season twenty seven, is gonna like introduce Bruno, the
guy Kevin Kane. He's a great comedian. Let's do a
little bit of like you would, a little I don't know,
they don't have to be piercing jokes, but a little shade,
a little reading, you know what I mean. Like that's
what used to make this show fun. It's so deadly
serious now. The joke is like telling that little girl,

(44:19):
who's the girl that left great It was earnamed Grace
something I don't know, the one you didn't like, like
being like, what do you like my little sister.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
That's like that's like as far as a joke goes.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Now, like there's no jokes on the show anymore, and
they need to bring them back. And that's the end
of my ted talk. Okay, we're at five hours now.
Somehow it's taken three hours to go to this uniform
shop and we've lost three hours. So then lives going
through the system and finds some random white guy named
Phil Fletcher, and it's like kind of looks like our guy.
Maybe his relative. Not a close enough match for me,

(44:51):
but we're going with it. So now we're at this
Fletcher guy's place in Brooklyn and he goes, I don't
know he could be related to me. My cop father,
the one who made me take the stupid exam, only
talk to two of his brothers.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
I got tons of cousins I never seen.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
And then he's like, hey, pop, lady policeman, this guy's
are really doing it with the accent work.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
It's really really happening.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
And then the dad comes like waddling out, this former
cop and he hurt himself doing something and he's not related.
He's like, no, I'm not related to that kid, but
I never forget a face. I know that kid from McGinty's,
and Live knows it immediately. It's a cop bar on
Third Avenue. So she takes off. Now we're at McGuinty's
and Stabler is again some gentle ribbing.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
It's fun.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
He starts ribbing this cop named Hann again about how
he's boozing so early in the day. Hanna again at mcguinea's. Okay,
hand again at McGinty's baby, and he goes, bite me
stable or I just got off the late tour and
they're like, well it was four hours ago, but whatever,
we need your help.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
So I guess we won't bring up your alcoholism.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
And so they show him the photo and he goes,
not the menace, And I love how this guy has
a has a nickname. I bet you they call him
Dennis the Menace because he looks like a little kid.
But they cut that because they're just calling him the menace.
He's like, his name's Brad something. Never trust a non
drinker in a bar. This kid picks up tabs, he
pumps us for stories. He's a total wannabe and you

(46:13):
need to drink because that's the title of the episode,
if you want to be a cop.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
So he says he'll make some calls and try to
find out more about this kid, but it's like, we
have five hours?

Speaker 3 (46:23):
Are you calling from the bar? What are we doing
at the precinct.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
They're breaking the news to Marlowe and she's like, I
cannot believe you guys cannot find one man in New
York City, a city of millions, in eight hours. And
she's freaking out because the three rape victims are all
on their way. They're all there, they're all there at
the precinct with their parents, and she's like, I just
don't know if I should go through with the lineup,
and she's very shook about these little girls. You know,
everybody that comes into SFU has to get used to

(46:47):
the live victim element. And then she's like, all right,
I'm going through with the lineup. Don't let me down.
And it's like, well, they've already spent most of the
hours and they haven't found much. But in the lineups,
the first girl, Id's Wayne, and the second girl I
d's him with like a question mark.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
She's like number two.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
And then the third girl I ds him as well
and goes, I know it's him, and so the last
girl is like, I want to The last girl's mom
says she wants to thank the officer that caught him,
but he's not there, and he's also not an officer,
so they're like, he'll be here soon. So anyway, Marlow
is back on Benson and Stabler's asses. They've got three
hours and two of the girls have now positively idd

(47:26):
this guy. All they have is a first name, and
it's not helping them earlier they had said, let's go
to the press, and she's like, there won't be enough time.
Now that there's three hours left, She's like, let's go
to the press and they're like yeah, but it won't
hit the news until we have to release hank It.
And Stabler's like, I'm gonna go camp outside that bar
waiting for this kid to show up, and Marlow's like, ooh,
I miss our stakeouts. And I forgot that Stabler and

(47:47):
Marlowe were partners when she was a cop, so I
guess got that too. In this universe, Stabler only gets
paired with absolute knockouts, Like he only gets paired with
like top percentage hot women, like that's in his contract.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
He's like, I will join us view, but you know,
I think we've met.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
We've met one male cop partner of his in the past,
some guy, but the rest.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Something wrong, right, Yeah, and now it's just babe after babes.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
So that's so funny that shared Stones's character was a cop,
Like that's a CORESI track, like most of the other
Adas were not cops. First. Anyway, lives on the phone
and it's Hannigan calling from the bar saying he found
someone who knows Fletcher. So now they're at the NYPD
Explorer's cleanup site in Harlem and this is a real thing,

(48:39):
the ny Explorers. The guy in the crime was an explorer. Okay, great,
it's real.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
I didn't know what this was. But it's basically cop
summer camp.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Like from the website, it says it provides young men
and women from the city's diverse communities with an introduction
to a career law enforcement or a related field for cops.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
Yeah, it's birthright for cops. And it's supposed to be
fourteen to twenty ages. So they ask this guy who's
like the supervisor, about Brad Fletcher, and they're like, you're
supposed to take at risk kids and point them in
the right direction, not turn them into delusional zealots. And
they're like the guy's like, yeah, but Brad's never been
in trouble, Like he signed up when he was fourteen
with his eyes set on joining the like the police department.

(49:20):
And the guy's like, yeah, I'm still in touch with him.
He's still an explorer. And they're like, wait, what I
thought the cutoff was twenty And the guy's like, how
old do you think he is cut to an all
boys prep school.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
Uh oh, a bunch of boys and blazers coming out.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
It is pretty wild, Like what is the profile of
this boy who's like a rich prep school boy and
is like I want to be a cop?

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Like I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
You know, like your parents have probably been telling you
forever to like be a lawyer, be a doctor, be
a congressman.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
And you're like cop, Like you have a power thing.
I feel like if that's your deal.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
But Jessica Tish, they confront Yeah, they confront Brad and
and they go you're only sixteen, and he's like I
can explain, and they're like can it And they go
just sign right here, and he's like, I'll sign this
no problem.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Getting that purp off the street was the best day
of my life. So everything's cool now.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
And then they're like sure it is, little buddy, and
they arrest him immediately for impersonating an officer. So then
now teen Cop, who I've been calling teen Cop the
whole time, is literally teen cop. He is in cement
room bars talking about how he always dreamed about being
a cop. He's like a real This is before they
had Chase from paw patrol. So I do not know
what has indoctrinated him, but he's a huge holster sniffer.

(50:35):
And his mom is with him in the room. She's like,
he reads so much about being a cop, so it's okay.
She's basically like, he reads a lot about being a cop,
so it's like, okay that he did this, and Liv
is like, okay, well you want to be a cop,
so bad, dude, kiss that dream goodbye. A felony on
your record is automatic disqualification. And he's like, I didn't
commit a felony. And it's like, I guess you don't
read enough because ye, Stabler's like two felonies, impersonation of

(50:59):
a cop and middle possession of a gun. And then
his hashtag boy mom is like, wait, that's a legal gun.
It's mine and it's registered. It's like not for your
teen son, you dumb bitch, Like what are you talking about?
It's illegal one. Well, now we know how she how
he became like this exactly. She's like, you can do
whatever you want, babe. We're gonna pay for your apartment
so you can be a cop.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
Do it.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
So this delusional mom, it was really getting to me.
She's like, it's okay. He reads a lot and I
give him the gun, but it's my gun, so it's fine.
So Stabler points out, I guess you don't know much
as much about the law as you thought. You'll have
plenty of time to read in jail. But teen cop
is doubling down on his theory that he's a hero.
He's like, I caught the rapist and they're like yeah,

(51:40):
and he almost walked on the charge because you played
dress up, you fool, and he's like, well, he's not
good to walk, right, And then cut to my favorite
British er babe Alex Kingston playing attorney Miranda Pond, who
is in four episodes of the show.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
I loved her on er.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
This woman, I don't know why she really struck out
to me, and she's slapping a motion to exclude down
on the table, saying that Brad Fletcher violated Wayne's Fourth
Amendment rights. But then Sharon Stone Joe Marlow is there
being like, no, he's a civilian and civilians are not, like,
you know, accountable to that law, and Miranda's like, he

(52:16):
went to a task force meeting, he walked through an
apprehension plan and he was assigned a sector of the park,
so it really seems like he was acting as a
law enforcement agent. And Joe's like, well, look, this is
extremely embarrassing for the NYPD. I will admit that, but
ultimately it's a kid who got caught up playing cops
and robbers. And the judge is really leaning towards Miranda

(52:37):
on this, like who argues that it's all fruit of
the poisonous tree, which they use again, and Miranda plans
to dismiss.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
The judge is like, give me some time.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
I'm going to think about it and make my ruling,
and Miranda's like, great, and when you're done, I plan
to dismiss if you rule in my favor, and Joe
tries to prove to the judge like, listen, sir, like
your honor, we do not condone this behavior. We're actually
charging the kid for a crime, and I'm on my
way to family right now to get his teen ass.
So in family court, teen cop is being a whiny bitch.
He's like, this isn't fitter the dejective's promise to give

(53:07):
me a break. Yeah, I am getting really like just
entitled vibes from this kid, like he still thinks he's
a hero. He still thinks like this isn't fair, like
you haven't self examined at all. What you did was wrong,
And his mom just goes, just take your medicine. Oh oh,
I get it. At first, I was like, what medicine?
We never talk about him having an illness. She means like,

(53:28):
take your punishment and shut the fuck up. I didn't
get that at first. So his lawyer, I realized that
on the podcast just now as I said it out
loud from my own notes. Uh. His lawyer is like,
shut the fuck up. This is a good deal and
you're not gonna have a felony on your records. If
you want your little cop dreams to come true, shut up.
So he pleads guilty to attempted criminal impersonation of a
police officer. Instead of criminal impersonation, it's attempted and that's

(53:52):
a misdemeanor, and he's gets sentenced to one hundred hours
of community service. He also agrees to relinquish all police paraphernalia,
and as Joe reads off the list of all the
police stuff, like you need to give up all weapons, badges,
that that we she narrates it in voiceover as we
see Munch and Finn in this kid's room clearing out
all the cop shit he has, and his room is

(54:13):
in soo much it's like NYPD merch as far as
the eye can see. It's like NYPD K nine, like NYPD,
like all of these like bumper stickers, like all of
these things that he has badges, like just books, magazines,
periodicals like, so his room is a shrine to cop them.
And they tell him he's also not allowed to go

(54:34):
into cop chat rooms or message boards and he has
to unsubscribe from all the cool.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Cop magazines that he gets.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Oh man, and if he does all this after six months,
the case will be dismissed and expunged from his record
at twenty one. So pretty lucky, dude, Like you fully
impersonated a cop and tried to log evidence like you
were trying to type up a DD five, your psycho. So,
now Joe and Team Cop are in her office going
over his testimony, and she's talking to him closer than

(55:00):
I'm comfortable with, like he's sixteen, and she's like in
his face trying to get him not to be in
the air. Yes, yes, I think it's also Sharon Stone
has a hard time, like not being sexy, Like she's
just such a sexy lady. And even though she's playing
this character, I think Sharon Stone's a great actress. I
don't actually think she's great on this show, but she is.

(55:22):
It is you just immediately when she's in a room
with another man, like, well, that's a child. But I
just am like, oh, something's gonna happen. But it doesn't.
She's she's on the up and up, and she's just
talking close, talking to him, trying to get him to
stopping such a fucking idiot. Like every time she lures
him into something, he's like, no, wait, that's not what happened.
And she's like, no, I'm playing the prosecutor, like the defense.

(55:43):
I'm telling you what they're gonna say to you. And
then he's like, whoa, you were a cop? Because she
has a medal framed on the wall and a picture
of her in her cop hat and thing, and she
has there's a newspaper cover that says Marlow and Hold.
And you know how all the famous cops get name
checked on the cover of the New York Post, right,

(56:05):
Like we all know who a bunch of famous cops are,
so they get punning up titles on their on their
front pages. So he starts fangirling so hard that she
used to be a cop and how'd you get promoted?
And she's like, I took down a drug cartel and
he's like, you gotta tell me about that. Like this,
it's like a kid talking about video games like he's wild.
And Joe gets a call and starts sexy talking to

(56:27):
someone again. It's Sharon Stone, like she's talking to someone
she's definitely gonna fuck later, and she's like, well, oh,
we'll can talk about that later. Meanwhile, teen cop is
over there just like touching her metal and getting a
boner and then knock, knock the back. The judge is
back with his decision about the motion to exclude. Right away,
the judge says, I did not come to this decision lightly.
So a rapist is about to walk. That's always how

(56:47):
we know. Uh. He grants the motion. Miranda Pond moves
to dismiss, and it is granted without prejudice. And I realized,
I don't think we've ever talked about this about what
that means, so I googled it really quickly, and without
prejudice means you can retry, but with prejudice means it's over.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Oh I didn't even really know that. Yeah, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
So because Sharon Stone's character goes without prejudice, like she's
and he's like, without prejudice, So it's like, we can
try this rapist again and like it's not closed with prejudice,
I would assume means it gets dismissed, like but it
would have been a mistrial, you know. Joe turns around
and teen coopp is h in the courtroom, like during

(57:26):
this judge's decision, she left him in her office and
said stay there, and he came into the court he
found where she was and sat in the courtroom. I
think that makes things a lot faster for television, but
it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And
he can't believe she's gonna let Wayne walk, and he's
he's being very accusatory as if this entire thing isn't
his fault, and Joe's like, I just have to find

(57:46):
some new evidence. So Stabler's like, what new evidence? Like
everything we have is from the bad search, and Live
is upset that they made these three children come in
for a traumatic lineup. So Benson Stabler, Joe and Kragan
are stratgizing. They're like, we could go back to the flashings.
We could maybe interview some of those witnesses and that'll
give us something to connect us to Wayne that is

(58:09):
not Fletcher.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
But Live says, wait a second.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
In interrogation, he flashed us, and I'm like, again, it
literally seems like he touched the bottom of his shirt,
but it's NBC. They're like, can we get him on that?
And she's like, it's a misdemeanor, it's a slap on
the wrist. We should sit on him. Twenty four to seven.
So we cut to the steakout crew and it's a
threesome that we didn't know we needed. Benson Stable and
Sharon Stone and they pull up. They pull up to

(58:36):
the guy's house and Stable goes, oh, he lives in
Queen's This is twenty minutes from my house. And it's like, like,
you're going home, buddy, come on, you live for a
steak out. And then Live shades Wayne for living with
his dad at thirty eight years old, and we can
go ask the dad about the birthmark. Let's see if
daddy wants his basement back, all he has to do
is give up his son. So then just as we

(58:56):
exit the car, we hear gunshots ring out and out
of the house runs fucking teen cop with a bloody
wound to the gut and like and I think his chest. Also,
Wayne's dad comes out yelling about how this bastard broke
into his house. Joe Marlowe gets on the like teen
cops now on the ground bleeding out, and Joe marlow
starts chest compressions and she sort of does. She doesn't

(59:18):
really start them because basically she just looks up terrified,
and that's where we go to commercial off of her
terrified look. So now dumbass teen cop wakes up in
the hospital and Joe is at his bedside and she's like,
you were almost mom.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
I'm just this lawyer.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Yeah, yeah, your mom went to go get some of
your favorite clothes. Like, I don't know, Mom's not there.
We had an episode wrap on the mom and so
we're using sharing stone. She's like, you were almost killed.
That bullet was like a quarter of an introm your aorta,
You stupid fuck. And then Fletcher goes it was Hanktt's
father like something like that, and we don't know what

(59:57):
he's saying yet, because that's who shot him, and Joe's
like like, yeah, you're super in deep shit, bro, like
you violated your probation.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
And she's like, how did you get into that house?

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
I want to know, and he goes, I found the
house key when I was vouchering the evidence. I just
wanted to help them get the guy. So even though
he was vouchering evidence, thinking I busted a rapist, he thought,
I'm gonna keep the key to this rapist's house. J
I see, okay again in these plot holes, let me

(01:00:28):
proofread the script and I will tell you where I
think things don't make sense. So anyway, kids like I
just couldn't let him reap another girl. And she's like, well,
you just blew your last shots get into the NYPD.
You sacrificed your future for nothing. He goes, no, you
should have seen what I saw. I saw something. It
wasn't Wayne, it's his dad. He's like, Wayne was asleep.
I was searching through his room. I heard screw muffled screams.

(01:00:51):
I thought that maybe he had another girl, but it
was the old man in the back watching a video
of Wayne raping Tina Harper. One of the victims, and
Joe said, and Joe's like, wait, what if this pans out,
you may have just bought yourself another shot at the academy.
And we keep going back to this, and I really
am not invested in this kid getting into the academy,
like at all. This is very brock Turner to me.

(01:01:13):
This is very I don't want to risk a young
man's future when he is like he is bad, he
is entitled, he has committed crimes. I mean, he's gonna
be perfect for the NYPD. I know he's gonna be
fucking chief of d's in like two years. He'll be
like the youngest chief of Detectives will be twenty nine,
like running the chief of detective. She tells him, keep
your ass out of trouble for the next five years

(01:01:34):
and we'll wrap this up. It's like, you don't even
know that you can wrap it up like that. He
got shot for breaking and entering, like I don't whatever.
Suddenly they are very close mentor mentee and she's like,
stay out of trouble, you a little case ruining scamp,
and she like is tossling his hair and shit and
live is not necessarily buying this whole thing about the dad.
She's like, well, he didn't blindfold his victims, and no

(01:01:56):
one saw this guy with a camera, so where did
like the videos come from, you know?

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
And they're like, well, the.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
Victim was shown in extreme close up, so maybe it
was like a small hidden camera, like in a button.
Cameras are so small now, and all the victims said
he never took his hat off, so ding ding ding.
Now they're searching the Hankett house while the dad is
looking on and they're like, well, the hats.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
We can't find anything in any of these hats.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
And they're like, wow, you sure have a lot of porn, sir,
and he's like, well, it's no law against that, and
then they go, yeah, unless someone's underage or being sexually assaulted,
and then his face drops, you know, like that's the
shit he's most into. So they're definitely gonna find that.
And we heard you were watching home videos of your
kid last night. And this guy's like denying everything. He's
trying to pin it all on teen cop, going he

(01:02:44):
was trying to kill me even though, and they're like
he was unarmed and he was fleeing your house and
you shot him three Times so seems more like you
were trying to snuff out a witness than you were
actually trying to stand your ground.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
And then they're like, so where's Wayne? And he went
for a walk.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
So now munch Fin have somehow immediately tracked down Wayne
and he has ducked into a peep show, which I
don't even know where you can go to those anymore,
but they used to be all in Times Square and
they've got a search warrant for the hat and I
think that's so funny, like we just need to look
in the hat and Wayne comes out, they grab his
hat off his head and boom right away there's a
camera inside it with which looked with also what looks

(01:03:22):
like a d battery, like it looks like a lot uh. Later,
Craigan is filling in Joe, like we found full of
the videos of one of the victims being assaulted taken
from the hat cam. It's really graphic and scary, like
we're watching it like this young girl is just lying
on the grass being like, please don't hurt me, and
he's like, open your eyes, look at me, and then

(01:03:42):
he duct tapes her mouth like it's graphic. I did
not like watching that in cement room bars. We've got
Wayne back and lives going after him, and she's putting
on this whole sympathy act for Wayne's dad. Oh, your
poor dad, you're a freak and you ruin your dad's life.
He's not sick way you are. And he tells her, no,

(01:04:02):
it was all my dad's idea, all the rapes, like
and my dad made me do it. And they're like,
how happy? Do you know what this episode is?

Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
What's the one where it was like someone's jail buddy
on the way out was making him commit crimes. Remember
it was a gray haired man too, and this guy
looks like he's from Frasier.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
But it was like another old dad.

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
What what?

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
What did the guy in the other episode have over him?

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
He owed him because of prison and he was like
this guy's bitch in prison and so he lived with
him and got abused and they found all the trinkets
and he was like so scared and shaking.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
He looked like an exports and like, but I don't
remember that either, Like, yeah, there's five there's five hundred
and forty episodes. It's really hard, but this is it's similar.
It's like other you know, like gray haired men with
this nervous blue eyed men. Yeah, being their pawns. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
So basically, how did your dad make you do this?

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Wayne opens up, He's been putting me down for years,
saying I'm a sissy, I'm worthless, babe, most ashamed of me.
I know, like I he you know, I would never
amount to anything, and lives like, you need to take
responsibility for what you did, like I'm sorry that you got,
Like you know, I'm sorry you got. I'm emotionally abused,
but like take responsibility. And he's like, you mean, like

(01:05:26):
how I killed my mother? And then he's he opens
up and says that she died when he was twelve
and it was his fault. And we're like, oh, fuck,
did you accidentally kill your mom? No, the dad just
said you made your mom worry so much that you're
the reason that she got cancer, which is so fucking dark.
It's like this guy is just emotionally abused this kid
into oblivion. And then he said, he said, I the

(01:05:49):
dad told him I can never remarry because no woman
wants to be have you as a son. He started
drinking the dad and he started bringing home sex workers
and making him watch so he would learn to be
a man, and then one day he brought home an
extra one for me. And it sounds like this is
all starting when he's twelve and thirteen, and that this

(01:06:10):
is opening up a memory for me of being in
a cab in Amsterdam where my cab driver told me
that's how he lost his virginity, is that his dad
went to the Red Lake district and got sex workers.
And he was telling me it like it was My
first word was light and I like to eat apples,
Like he was just telling you. You think that's like
a cultural thing in Amsterdam or I don't know, I
don't know. He was like, yeah, my dad was like

(01:06:32):
showing me how to be a man. That's like what
I have not thought about that. That was on my
semester a broad in two thousand. WHOA, why is there
more Amanda Knock stuff? Like haven't we heard enough another?

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
I thought the same thing, and I'm like, it's not
that twisted.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
I mean, I don't want to get a job either,
but like if the story's not that twisted, we keep
trying to sexualize her and make it like it's a
guy murdered her and the roommate acted weird and I
to speak Italian and couldn't like it was things like that,
like I don't really think a man A Knox did
anything twisted.

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
No, she did have my opinion, but oh, I think
most people think that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Yeah, I just can't know. If there's another show, it's like, well,
how many I mean they've done like now like but
now it's.

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
From her point of view, I'm like, no one cares.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
Please, We've done so many bundies, We've done so many
John Wayne Gacy's I think I don't know. We Well,
we're getting a new gaycy so watch out with my
Michael churnis so scary friend of the pod. Okay, so
this fucking kid is now being asked to have sex
side by side with his dad with a with a

(01:07:41):
sex worker and Wayne goes but it didn't work. I
just I couldn't do it in front of him, and
that just made him hate me more, Like what you
think your son is sexual dysfunctioning because he can't, at
twelve years old have sex with a woman in front
of you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
You're you're the problem.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
Dad.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
Uh So anyway, liv Goes, I'm I'm really sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
No one helped you as a kid, but you're thirty
eight now, why didn't you just leave when you turned eighteen?
And then we cut to the dad going that loser
could never survive on his own. I wanted Wayne out
of the house. I wanted to retire, but I couldn't.
And Stabler is giving this guy the old alpha male special, like, oh,
come on, man, you can't get it up. You only
get actions from sex workers. You screwed in front of

(01:08:21):
your kid, and then you went limp and you started
using your son as a surrogate. And he's like, we
know about the abuse, and the dad responds with, I
wish he'd never been born.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
He's completely useless.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
So this man is like associate, but he has like
no feeling towards his child at all except for hate.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Stay, No, he has feelings. They're just disgusting.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Yeah, And they're like, uh, well, we checked out the
electronics store footage and we know that you're saying Wayne's
completely useless, and we know he's not that good with
electronics either. But you, on the other hand, have worked
in electronics for thirty five years. So you rigged the cameras.
We saw you there on the tapes and you set

(01:09:01):
up your son to choke the chicken, they say, in
front of all those girls. And the dad goes, he
had no interest in sex. I had to fix him.
He couldn't get a girl any other way. It's like, okay,
maybe I can understand that's why you brought a sex
worker home, even though that's deeply fucked up and he
was underage. But you think getting him to jerk off
in a department store in front of all these people
is the way to fix his sexual dysfunction. Like, what's happening?

(01:09:25):
What Father of the year. I don't get where you're
coming from. But anyway, Wayne comes out of interrogation and says,
what happens to me?

Speaker 4 (01:09:33):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
Wait, so I just want to summarize what's happening here.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
This father has figured out a way to get his son,
who he hates, to go out and sexually assault teen
girls with a fucking button cam in his hat so
that he can watch it and feel like he's doing it.
You got it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
You have to investigate the father.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
There's definitely what he definitely was a child molester then
before he started losing the ability to get an erection, right, wow,
I mean he's going there's no way. He just started
getting a proclivity for young girls when he was you know, like,
uh is seventy eight or whatever. Anyway, Wayne comes out
of interrogation and goes what happens to me now? And

(01:10:16):
they're like, well, you're gonna get processed and booked. Like
at the beginning, when he was acting like, wait, I
didn't do anything. That part is weird to me because
it's like he was acting like he didn't do anything wrong,
but it's like he knows he's wrong. He's doing it
for his dad, So I was confused why he was like, wait,
why are you arresting me? It's like it's like, oh,
you're busting me on the thing that happened. I don't

(01:10:37):
think Wayne has the wherewithal to like act like he
didn't do anything wrong, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:10:43):
And he was acting like he didn't do anything wrong
at the beginning. Well, he's trying to save his own ass. Yeah,
do you want to go to jail? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
But he seems like he'd be a bad liar. And
at the beginning I almost believe him. I almost believe
they have the wrong guy. Like I'm like, oh, this
is gonna be a matching birthmark thing, like that's what
I kind of thought, like, Oh, we're going to find
out birthmarks.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
Somebody's drawing the birthmark on to frame.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
Him, like whatever, That's what I kind of thought, because
the Florida birthmark is wild. But Wayne, they tell him
you're getting process and booked, like sorry, buddy, you are
going to jail, and the dad comes out and screams,
I wish I had you aborted.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
Wayne runs up and it's like dad, Dad. Wayne tries
hugging him. I'm sorry, I got you in trouble. It's
so disturbing and sad.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
This scene.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
It's like he's still even after realizing I'm going to
jail for these horrible crimes. My dad made me commit
after a lifetime of emotional abuse, He's still like, Daddy,
I need.

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
Your I need your approval, like love me, love me,
love me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
It's so so sad, and the dad keeps going you're
dead to me, while Wayne keeps yelling I love you.
It's really terrible, and we black out. Off of Joe
Marlowe's hardened facial expression. That is a classic I need
to get the fuck out of SVU expression, And that's
Dick wolf baby.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Well, you'll all be really relieved to know this is
just the fake cop teen No. Uh, okay, no daddy
cam rapes Okay no, No, the writers came up with
that all on their own. Yeah, this is Chicago. What

(01:12:19):
n Sam Richardson? So at fourteen, Richardson impersonated a police officer,
and he did such a good job that he was
driving around in a squad car. Like fully worked a
five hour shift in a squad car, riding along with
another cop.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
At fourteen years old.

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
And these are the people in charge of our criminal
justice system, Like it is really wild to think about
that they couldn't tell this was a fourteen year old.

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Yeah. So in two thousand and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
Nine, this guy who became known as kid Cop, he
just showed up at Grand Crossing third District station, claiming
to be an officer from another district. The officers let
him work a full duty patrol shift, like I said,
for five hours with and he even helped with an
arrest before they figured out what was going on. This
dude was fourteen in eighth grade. Oh my god, it's

(01:13:09):
so crazy. So fourteen officers, including the captain running watch
during the shift, and seven sergeants were brought up on
departmental charges, according to iabaka Internal Affairs. I don't think
they call it iab out in the world, but internal
affairs report on the incident. According to the Chicago Tribune,

(01:13:29):
and he just loved fucking around and he would get
away with it. Like one time he dressed up as
a businessman and went to a Lexus dealership asking for
a test drive and then he crashed the Lexus. So
he's just like a catch me if you can, you know,
kind of guy. He was arrested in twenty ten and
went to juvenile detention after pushing his mother. Oh I
guess he did do Okay, he did push his mother

(01:13:51):
and he stole his uncle's car.

Speaker 3 (01:13:53):
And then in twenty eleven he.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
Was charging an adult with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon.
And then in twenty thirteen he was finally sentenced to
eighteen months in prison for attempting to buy a police uniform.
And he was working as a security card at the time.
But he went to a store VCG uniform on West
Irving and when they were like, are you a cop,

(01:14:16):
he goes yeah, And so he bought an eye on
devil bag, cargo pants, blue duty shirt, a duty belt,
and then bolted out the back, but before like he
could get it, like, you have to give your ID,
So he gave his ID, did all the shopping, and
then he tried to steal and run away, but it
left his ID behind and so then the store clerk
looked up his name from the driver's license and then

(01:14:37):
it said, uh, oh, this is the same guy that
pretended to be a cop at fourteen years old.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
So Richardson just comes back for.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
His ID and the police were already waiting for him
to take him in, and the police found a receipt
on Richardson from an online purchase of a CPD bag
and other supplies and another duty belt. In twenty fifteen,
he's arrested again, this time with a friend both and
then like it is wild thinking about our last episode
where it was like seven years for forgery and this

(01:15:06):
dude just like cannot stop pushing his mother and pretending
to be a cop, Like it is kind of silly.
So he was arrested again and both him and this guy,
Dontrell Moore, were twenty one years old. They were wearing
bulletproof vests and police duty belts and had a police
scanner and a stun gun. So for his cases in
twenty thirteen and twenty fifteen, he served eighteen months in

(01:15:29):
prison for each of those cases, but he did not
learn anything and was arrested again at the age of
twenty six doing the same thing.

Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:15:38):
So February twenty twenty one, he was arrested in Lyle,
which is a West suburb.

Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
It was four oh one am. He was pretending to
be a sergeant.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
On January fourteenth, twenty seventh, and February third, he also
pulled over a vehicle and searched the car like he
searched the occupants. He was wearing a full blown police uniform,
pretended to be a sergeant. He slowed down cars with
a flashlight all in babe At. He he was doing
TikTok dances and police uniforms. He makes videos and bulletproof

(01:16:09):
vests at a shooting range. So because of that, he
did face three felony accounts of false personation and he
pled guilty and was sentenced to three years in prison.
So okay, I found that he was arrested two more
times in twenty fourteen, but the resources are mugshot zone,

(01:16:30):
mugshots dot zone dot like it's not a god, it's
mugshot zone and the o's and mugshot and zone are
connected in their handcuffs.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
The over and then the other is e news.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
Park Forest serving a great American town, park Forest, Illinois.
So I just and I don't know if he was
convicted because I didn't find anything of like jail time.
I didn't find any records or like he inmate lock up,
and I didn't find any other sources that had this.
So he but it says that he was arrested in

(01:17:06):
twenty twenty four for unlawful possession of ammunition with a felony.
So he was found with like fake guns but the
ammunition was real and since he already had a felony,
like you can't do that, so but the police according
to this Park Forest paper, the police said mister Richardson

(01:17:27):
wore a ballistic vest with a star badge on the
front that stated President Defense Executive Protection one one, six,
four three eight. Mister Richardson also had a radio, a
body worn camera, pepper spray, a flashlight, two magazines in
a magazine pouch, and he had a ballistic and then
the back of his ballistic vest. He had a patch
that read Public Safety, and he had a glock semi

(01:17:50):
automatic firearm and a holster on his right hip, and
then next to the gun was a metal star badge
that was engraved President Defense Security one one six four three.

Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
Wowoh, so he just won't stop. No, So I'm I'm
wondering if he's still in jail, because in.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
Twenty twenty one he got three years, and it feels
like in twenty twenty four, immediately when he's out, he
did it again.

Speaker 3 (01:18:12):
But I don't know if he's like, I don't know
what's up.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
I don't know. Maybe he got out early for good
time and then he got back and what's like what
sucks about? Like this is at fourteen? Obviously the Sun
Times the tribute articles are kid cop ellwell you know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
And then yeah, he just like won't stop. But it's
not as like exciting, it's not as nice.

Speaker 1 (01:18:35):
He just keeps doing.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
He's a grown up now, so it's like, Okay, this
is like a psychopath who's pretending to be cops.

Speaker 1 (01:18:40):
Like, and the thing that's funny is like this is
sort of catch me if you can, but it's sort
of like not rich, catch me if you can, like
people like people who can go in and like get
on a private jet and do all this shit. But
like he basically just doing being as sneaky, just trying
to be a cop over and over, you know, over
and over.

Speaker 3 (01:18:57):
Won't stop. Otherwise there'd be a movie about this motherfucker.
I mean there's an episode of SVU about him. Yeah, yeah,
Team Cop. But I hated that fucking teen cop in
the episode, and I think everybody was.

Speaker 1 (01:19:09):
They were trying to make us like him by the end,
and I was like, but no, if you're obsessed with police,
but you can't make the police force, you're you're unwell,
You're unwell mentally and physically, like obviously like what's going on.

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
Well, they're trying to make it sound like pretty easy
to be a cop.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
It seems like, yeah, also there are you could do explorers,
like you can do civilian searches when they do searches.

Speaker 3 (01:19:33):
You know, like you can't just go in and buy
all the shit.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
First of all, they need to be a lot more discerning,
like that should be like buying police equipment should be
just as background checked. I feel like, is getting a
gun like that because that is so fucked up.

Speaker 3 (01:19:46):
But also so like officers assisted him.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
So this last twenty twenty four on this like park
Ridge park Forest thing, is that like like cops met
him and with him they were searching vacant units. Like
he was like something's happening, and then cops came and
he was with them searching these units like just having
the time of his life.

Speaker 3 (01:20:06):
I'm sure, yeah, just buying stun guns.

Speaker 1 (01:20:11):
I think this one seems funnier to me because he
didn't fuck up a rapist, you know, like he's kind
of just not like it doesn't feel like he's really no.

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
He just shoved his mother. Yeah, I shoved his mom.

Speaker 2 (01:20:21):
But in the scope, this is probably the ten in
the in the top ten least affected crimes that we've done,
I would say, yeah, like in terms why we feel
like unaffected, like no one's actually being affected.

Speaker 1 (01:20:35):
Yeah, yeah, like totally this is the top like low
stakes crime, I would say, yeah, so that's what's like exciting,
and it's Cook County, so I always feel connected. Yeah,
but I do feel like people impersonating cops is like
very scary, especially now with like ice as people get serious.

Speaker 3 (01:20:54):
Yeah, yeah, it's scary.

Speaker 1 (01:20:56):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:20:56):
I think they should be more careful.

Speaker 1 (01:20:57):
You shouldn't let random idiots own army supply stores where
they can buy cop shit. I agree, you have to
either your outfit has to look exactly like copshit. It
has to be copshit, or it has to be Amazon shit.
Like why tell the difference?

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
Like why does my school give me gym uniforms but
the police department can't give their people outfits?

Speaker 3 (01:21:18):
Yeah, they have to go buy their own, Like what
was department issues?

Speaker 2 (01:21:22):
Because I know there's like scrubs, but I wonder if
you they only give you one and you have to
buy a bunch of you you have to buy scrubs.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Yeah, scrubs were in when I was in school. Scrubs
are cool. My friend just got to play a nurse
on Young and the Restless for a couple of days,
and she sent me pictures of her and her scrubs.

Speaker 3 (01:21:40):
Wait, wait, that's exciting.

Speaker 4 (01:21:42):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:21:42):
I bet she knows how to memorize lines.

Speaker 1 (01:21:45):
So I said, I was like, I can't wait to
hear about this. She's she's been acting for a long
time and she's never done a soap, So I'm excited to.

Speaker 2 (01:21:50):
Know I've been rewatching the Dexter of it all. I
saw your friends screaming in the for the Trinity Killer
or is it not a friend? What is that story
where someone was like, Oh my god, I'm gonna be
on Dexter, everyone watch, and then it's just her being
murdered naked in.

Speaker 1 (01:22:05):
My friend wanted My friend went on a date with
that woman and she was like next her and he
was like, oh great, I'll check it out. And then
the next day he watched her get her femeral artery
sliced in a bathtub by John Lithgow.

Speaker 3 (01:22:17):
John Lithgow is so fucking scary.

Speaker 1 (01:22:19):
And I've had told you about the time that right
after I maybe not he saw him, he came on
the subway with me and like, my blood went ice cold.
It's like, I know he's an actor. I'm sure he's lovely.
He was also in Third Rock from the Goddamn Sun
and I was like, the Trinity Killer just got on
my subway car. I was frozen, like with fear. That

(01:22:41):
is one of the scariest guys.

Speaker 2 (01:22:43):
Also, Margot Martindale should have been nominated at least for
an Emmy for her.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Role in that She was fucking good. Who was Margot Martindale.
She worked in the records.

Speaker 2 (01:22:54):
She wasn't in that many episodes, but she was like
the older lady that works in the records. But then
she ends up like getting lunk Cay concerned slowly dying
and like Dexter ends up you know, helping her die.

Speaker 3 (01:23:04):
Yeah, I'm bringing her pie and then she tells him
a secret.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
He tells her a secret whatever, but like she's truly
dying of lung cancer and it was like really impressive
to watch.

Speaker 1 (01:23:14):
Oh man, I.

Speaker 3 (01:23:16):
Love character directress Margot Martindale.

Speaker 1 (01:23:18):
She is the best.

Speaker 2 (01:23:19):
I have a pin of her. If you're listening. Thank
you to whoever gave me that Margo Martin open. I
think it must have been Portland. I think it was
in one of those boxes. Yes, our listener that gives
us the best gifts ever.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
All right, we are gonna just move right into postportum
because we don't have a guest this week. So here
we go. Okay, well, wanna be I mean, this episode
ends so abruptly.

Speaker 1 (01:23:46):
The timing is different, it's structured different, like I don't know,
you know what I mean, And it's like kind of
a wild.

Speaker 3 (01:23:51):
One yeah, yeah, it's definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
I just thought we'd go to try like I don't
know when they end before even court that's always.

Speaker 3 (01:24:00):
Yeah, there's no order in this one.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
And maybe that was because like they wanted to use
Sharon Stone more than just like in the courtroom, Like
they wanted her like running around and doing it with
a teen boy and like her little terrified face that
she likes to make, Like, oh my god, she's got
a good terrified face.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
You know, I've never seen basic instincts. Oh you haven't. No,
I have to do that because I love thrillers.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
Yeah, but also, like you're younger than me, so like
when that movie came out, it was just like, oh
my god, like people could not believe that, like you
could see like a flash of a woman's vagina in
a movie and they were flat like everybody it was
like a porn that we all had to go see.
So like I think I saw it really young, and
like everybody just was obsessed with going to see it.

(01:24:44):
And I feel like you probably were like too young
to really get that discourse. And now you're like, oh,
it's just like a good thriller, you know, like the
MTV video movie like the MTV Movie Awards, like they
would do it. They did like a like a parody
where she uncrosses her legs and there's like an actual
beaver between her legs. I mean like there were. It
was like such a big cultural moment her in basic instinct,

(01:25:05):
but it's also like freaky and sexy and like it's good.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited because I haven't seen fatal
attraction either. I haven't seen that either, and I feel like, yeah,
that's a blind spot for me.

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
I would maybe like it. I will. I will tell
everyone about my birthday.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Yes, but also dad's just if he's a dorc, he'll
find he'll fuck someone later, Like, don't buy your son.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
I know, children, let's do a quick post mortem here.
I think there was a failure of a few parents.
There was a mom that was like, this is normal
that my son is obsessed with fucking cops and his
whole room is popash. That's weird. It's like you want
to be a cop, that's fine. It's almost if you
want to like Donald Trump. Okay, why do you have
so much fucking merch? It's weird, Like, stop having so

(01:25:51):
much merch of this things? That you like, that's crazy
that this mom needed to be red flagging her son,
you know, trying to be a fucking cop. What is
this program where you get to be like a miniature cop.
And then also this father, Oh what a nightmare? Like
stop acting like you need to like show your boys
how to fuck. They will figure it out, like you

(01:26:12):
don't have to be a talk like so he's not
fucking sex workers at fourteen, so in front of you
worst like, yeah, the.

Speaker 3 (01:26:20):
Watching the four Oh my god, abuse is crazy?

Speaker 1 (01:26:25):
Yeah yeah, and just like honestly it's we talked about
unknown number at the beginning and it's not the same thing.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
But like how the daughter like this daughter like in
the doc like does not is not that mad at
her mom?

Speaker 1 (01:26:40):
I don't know. Wow, no progress.

Speaker 2 (01:26:42):
So I did see one thing online where the where
she's in the pink is old and when she's in
the gray eight it's more current, and that they didn't
edit it like they would use the footage as needed,
but that she has not talked to her mom.

Speaker 1 (01:26:57):
She hasn't talked to her anymore, okay, because when she
finds out, granted she's shocked, but she doesn't get mad immediately,
like later in some of the interviews, she's like, I,
I mean, I want a relationship with my mom. I
think we email all the time while she's in jail.
I think it's gonna be fine. Like and I was
like what. And it just reminds me a little bit
of this guy being like, Daddy, I love you, and
he's like, you're a useless idiot. Like you know, like

(01:27:18):
this woman was telling her daughter to kill herself on
over text, and the daughter's like, it's like, I love
my mom. She's great, Like I don't know, but I
gotta I gotta read the Uh. I'm sure there's like
interviews with her now where she's like fucking figured everything out.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
Yeah someone, yeah, someone is just like she is like
I'll talk to her when I'm ready to talk to her,
like the grades.

Speaker 3 (01:27:40):
He shared his more current views of her.

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
Yeah, and she went to college for like forensics or
criminology or something like that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:47):
Oh really.

Speaker 1 (01:27:48):
Yeah. The episode of the show though, is like, uh,
the ending and we talked about it earlier, but like
just the ending was so like fuck, that's what's happening.
Like you're using your son to rape by proxy, Like
that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:28:04):
I also get mad every time I feel bad for
a rapist, like this show kind of makes you be
cause it's like he's a rapist and should be serving life.

Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
It is what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:28:15):
Yeah, but it's like, fuck, you don't even have a chance.

Speaker 3 (01:28:19):
I know with this dad.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
Fucking no way to kind have killed the dad. All right,
let's get to the juice. How's the birthday?

Speaker 3 (01:28:26):
So, you know, my friends were like, don't go to
soul cycle.

Speaker 1 (01:28:31):
We don't have time.

Speaker 4 (01:28:32):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
Julia's like, I'm gonna be at your house at ten am,
and I was like okay. So Saturday at soul Cycle,
I was talking shit about them and I was like, yeah,
my friends won't even let me go to soul cycle.
So they gave me like birthday love on the Saturday
class a little bit, and then Julia comes over and goes,
guess what, We're.

Speaker 3 (01:28:47):
Going to soul cycle. So it was all.

Speaker 2 (01:28:52):
So I got to go to soul Cycle and it
was so the theme of the day was like Liza's
favorite things. So then after soul Cycle, we went to
the public pool by Libby's house.

Speaker 3 (01:29:05):
Oh, I'd been to that one. It was it's a
good one.

Speaker 2 (01:29:07):
And all the kids were back at school, so it
was like very sparse people. So like, you know, she
made a turkey sandwich and we just like swam at
the pool and then no more than ten people were
there at a time and they came later and it
was very just like people cooking snacks, weed, games, alcohol.
We did polish off a bottle of malort and a

(01:29:29):
jug of espallone. I will say that, oh my god.
But you know, tordelini, pasta pesto salad. I saw pics
of some of the food. It looked really steak. Jimmy Cherry,
I mean Lane from Scratch, made spicy tuna, crispy rice.
Oh my god, like was frying little squares of rice

(01:29:49):
on a skillet like this, motherfucker, I can't good. Julia
made a cake like everyone was just cute. There was
gushers and it was like a child's birthday. I got
like a poly pocket and a stuffed rat, you know,
like I but it was like low key but perfect,

(01:30:10):
you know. Yeah, I just want to play heads up
and be fucked up in a small space and I
got it.

Speaker 3 (01:30:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
And Ibbe has like a really good foot massage or
at her apartment.

Speaker 1 (01:30:20):
I don't know if you've ever put your feet in that,
but like it's unreal. Damn, it's unkay.

Speaker 2 (01:30:29):
But then Emmy was really funny because my friend of
me because I told her about the days and about
Soul Cycle. She goes, so you got to do what
you would have done? I go, yes, but I was
tricked into thinking I wasn't. And then I told them.
I go, oh, I thought you guys were gonna come
over and help me declutter.

Speaker 3 (01:30:45):
They go what.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
I go, well, I didn't know what else would be
at ten am because I didn't get the vibe we
were going to the beach. So in my head, I'm like,
maybe we're just gonna declutter. And Alison goes, and then
do your taxes? What the fuck are you talking about?
And I go, what it would have been helpful?

Speaker 3 (01:30:58):
I need help.

Speaker 2 (01:30:59):
And then while we were walking back from Soul Cycle,
I oh, by the way, if we're just gonna watch
Housewives at my house or something like, can we spend
time outside instead? And she goes, we have something planned.
It's not just gonna be housewives. I go, okay, okay,
you just have my favorite things and it is lounging.
But yeah, it was just kind of a perfect, nice day.

(01:31:20):
I can't say anything bad about it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:23):
That's awesome. My birthday's coming up, and I have like
no idea what to do. Rosie like really burnt me.
She goes, Okay, so it's your birthday.

Speaker 4 (01:31:30):
What do you like?

Speaker 3 (01:31:31):
And I was like, yeah, I don't know. You are
a harder person to shop. I'm like, what do I
like that? I can get to an Italian restaurant?

Speaker 1 (01:31:42):
Like my husband? They can get him a comic book.
You know, that's what they got him for like Father's
Day or whatever. Like, they'll get him like a comic book.
They know that that's what he's into. And I'm just like,
I mean, I like Bravo, I like Prestige television, I
like traveling, I like wine, I like eating out, I
like comedy my friends, I don't no. I'm like, I
don't have enough like little hobbies and obsessions for the

(01:32:05):
gift giving. I was like, I gotta think. I gotta
get back to you, Rosie. But she really nailed me
on that.

Speaker 3 (01:32:11):
She's like, what do you like? I was like, hmm,
great question.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
I'm fully missing my friend's birthday because of works. Okay,
I'm gonna get the gift that I got my friend. Okay,
hold on one second, Hold one second.

Speaker 3 (01:32:21):
Okay. So I saw this in a window.

Speaker 2 (01:32:23):
I have never I haven't been proud this proud of
a birthday present in a while. And I'm about to
give this to my best friend. It's not like she's
gonna fucking listen, so you can. You can announce it
on the pod. Even if she listened to the pod,
she wouldn't have gotten this far. Oh, your friend's birthday
is tomorrow, right, yes?

Speaker 1 (01:32:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:32:37):
And okay, are you ready?

Speaker 1 (01:32:40):
Oh my god, it is a stuffy of the baby
from Dinosaurs, not the mama.

Speaker 3 (01:32:45):
Not the mama. That's so purpose not stuffy.

Speaker 1 (01:32:48):
I mean, this is what is it? The size of
Oh it's huge. Oh my god, it's huge.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
And it has a pull cord. Yeah, but it's like
it looks like it.

Speaker 1 (01:32:57):
I can't even believe it. Look it's like a replica.
It looks it's like the actual dinosaur.

Speaker 2 (01:33:01):
And I had a price in my head when I
ran into the store when I saw it in the window,
and it was fifty dollars less than my maximum price
that I had in mind.

Speaker 3 (01:33:09):
Ooh, she's gonna love that. That's so too.

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
But I have to sit on it, like, I'm not
gonna see her for like a week. But what all, No,
I don't know what. Yeah, what should a kid get you?
But the classic first kinds of gifts you give your parents.
Usually it's like a frame with you in it.

Speaker 1 (01:33:28):
Yeah, something focused around them, which is honestly a huge,
a huge thing that does take up a lot of
my time. I'm like, I do like you, guys, but
you also take up a lot of my fucking time. Yeah, vegetarian.
I mean, they could get you a chef so you
don't have to cook dinner. Yeah, I don't know, Like
I don't think that's what a kid is capable of though. No, no,
nothing that I want they are capable of giving me.

Speaker 3 (01:33:50):
That's true. Like I want and I'm getting an air fryer.
But I'm like, I want an air fryer.

Speaker 1 (01:33:56):
Can you guys get me that? Yeah, that's actually great. Yeah,
maybe I'm shocks you went this long without an air fryer,
I know, I know. Well, now I want to I
want to get this really specific kind but why because
it's one that is very well reviewed and I think
it does a lot of different things that will help me. Okay, Yeah,
So I'm gonna I'm excited to get it. I think

(01:34:16):
it's gonna revolutionize how I make food for my children.
And I'm really happy, Like I'm really excited to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
I think, are you gonna change your life? I mean
I went to someone's house for dinner the air fried salmon.
It was fucking awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:34:25):
Yeah. Yeah, like ten minutes we were eating dinner. I
mean it was nice. Yeah, I gotta get into it.
I'm gonna read the manual. I'm gonna like learn.

Speaker 2 (01:34:33):
Wait, so wait, did I tell you this that I
got a call from my nephew and that he was
like crying and then it was because of Dexter Resurrection.

Speaker 3 (01:34:42):
Wait, Benji?

Speaker 1 (01:34:42):
Or he just loved it?

Speaker 2 (01:34:43):
Yeah, Benji, I was like so stressed out. I'm like,
what's going on? And it was just like loving Dexter Resurrection.

Speaker 3 (01:34:50):
Oh I love that. It's like so relieved. Oh my gods.

Speaker 1 (01:34:55):
Like it's not the younger one. He's like, no, no,
he doesn't cry. She would also never messaged me. He
would never message me. I mean I did get a
text on my birthday.

Speaker 3 (01:35:09):
He was, yeah, but.

Speaker 1 (01:35:12):
You had a great day.

Speaker 3 (01:35:13):
I'm glad you had a great day.

Speaker 1 (01:35:14):
I feel like Virgo season is upon us, and uh,
all so many fun people have birthdays.

Speaker 2 (01:35:20):
Yeah, and oh also it's also been the blood moon,
and I love I loved blaming everyone's weird behavior. It's
like even the guy at the bar, I'm like, it's
the blood moon, babe, what do we think is gonna happen?

Speaker 1 (01:35:32):
Oh my gosh, So I do have one more crime
thing then we can go. I'm so sorry. So there's
two things all from Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:35:39):
But you know the guy who started out doing like
the Seventh Heaven recaps and now he's like a full
blown star heart heart Rob and Anderson or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:35:47):
So he posted this.

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
It's from BBC dot com and I obviously have to
look more into it. But surgeon jailed after amputation of
own legs.

Speaker 1 (01:35:55):
Yeah we got.

Speaker 2 (01:35:57):
Yeah, Neil Hopper was motivated by sexual interest and amputation.

Speaker 3 (01:36:02):
But I think if you do it to yourself, it
should be fine. Why is he jailed? Can't you do
what you want to your own body?

Speaker 1 (01:36:10):
And then the heart throughout his caption was finally something
normal in the news, Oh my god. And then the
other thing.

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
Again, I don't know if this is a real sight
or not financial but it's man arrested for setting cafe
on fire because they ran out of mayo for his sandwich.

Speaker 3 (01:36:34):
People are so fucked up. People are so fucked up.

Speaker 2 (01:36:38):
I was like, I know, I have a crime thing,
and then it was the craziest crimes that could ever be.
I don't know why he's I mean, it says he's
been jailed for two years and eight months for insurance
fraud and possessing extreme pornography, So that has nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:36:52):
To do with what possessing the extreme pornography? Can't you
have pornography like, no matter how extreme.

Speaker 2 (01:36:59):
It is also claiming that he had sepsis and it
wasn't self inflicted, but that it was mys serious illness
and he had used ice and dry ice to freeze
his own legs so they had to be removed. So
he admitted to two counts of fraud, three of possessing
extra Yeah, the pornography had a special a sexual interest

(01:37:20):
in amputation. No previous convictions though, that's I guess. Okay,
the level of harm and three videos of body mutilation
which were the subject of the pornography charges, was exceptionally high.

Speaker 1 (01:37:34):
Oh so I think these are two separate things.

Speaker 2 (01:37:37):
I think he's jailed for whatever, like weird snuff porn
he's watching and people being amputated, and then the but
maybe the fraud that he lied about sepsis when he
did it to himself. Yeah, he did not tell the
medics the real cause of his injuries.

Speaker 1 (01:37:55):
So I guess that's what it is. But then it's
so it's the insurance claim. It's insurance. Yah, the insurance
thing would be denied, like because it wasn't from sepsis,
it was from you doing it on purpose, like but yeah,
oh crazy, Yeah, he just.

Speaker 2 (01:38:09):
Has an obsession with removing parts of his own body
and a sexual interest in doing so.

Speaker 3 (01:38:15):
Yuck oough.

Speaker 2 (01:38:18):
A long shitting ambition. Yeah, if you want to amputate
your own legs to get hard, you do have to
pay for it, unfortunately you and it might be with
jail time. Even in the UK. Insurance isn't that good?
You gotta pay.

Speaker 3 (01:38:31):
For your own.

Speaker 1 (01:38:33):
I don't think that's what the national whatever it's called
in the UK was set up for.

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
God, the men were having their genitals removed in the
videos and he had all these but.

Speaker 3 (01:38:46):
Is this stuff in the videos? Is it consensual?

Speaker 4 (01:38:50):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
Are people making those videos consensually, because I kind of
think that you should be able to have any kind
of violent move possession, any kind of violent thing that
you want, if it was made consensually. Like if there's
a video of somebody like chopping off their toes and
they're doing it on purpose, and that gives you a boner,
why can't you have that?

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
That's not like me, but like that's this is America,
Like you're supposed.

Speaker 2 (01:39:12):
To well, because how do we confirm that it's you're
a right mind to chop your toes off?

Speaker 1 (01:39:19):
Well, that's true, that's true too. I mean that gets
into a whole other fucking thing. He says that he
bitterly he does not regret the operations. He just bitterly
regrets the dishonesty about the cause. Okay, yeah, so he's happy.
He's happy and on his lower legs. I mean, like

(01:39:39):
you said that there's images in Dexter that are like
really disgusting, Like, how do we know that this stuff
is real? How do we know that this stuff is
not like staged? I don't know, like there's children involved
or something. Obviously, that's another Yeah, it says no children.
BBC said no children.

Speaker 3 (01:39:54):
Yeah, that's a different thing. But I don't know. I'm
kind of like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:39:58):
Maybe they get into Hey, maybe they have to go
through all his amputations that he did for patients and
see make sure everything was right on and not like
just him trying to get excited. Yeah, like maybe like
he was helping other people like him do it instead
of oh right, for people that needed it.

Speaker 3 (01:40:16):
He definitely was giving out a few freebies.

Speaker 1 (01:40:18):
I think this guy for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:40:20):
Yeah, come on, you're the most popular guy.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
If you're a surgeon in an amputee in an elective
amputee group, you're popular.

Speaker 3 (01:40:29):
Yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:40:32):
Yeah, okay, okay, let's get into what would Sister Beeg do.
This is our weekly segment where we direct you towards blogs, books, docs, art, websites, organizations,
anything to give you more information about what we talked
about today. And this week, I was really really bothered
by how deeply fucked up the relationship was between the

(01:40:55):
rapist and his father, uh, and I just it made
me sort of think about fatherhood. And so I found
this organization called Father's Uplift, and it is a group
quote committed to empowering fathers by providing comprehensive direct care,
re entry support for those transitioning from incarceration, workforce development,
and advocacy. I just think that some of these men

(01:41:15):
out there need resources to not be toxic and raise
toxic men, and that.

Speaker 3 (01:41:20):
Will help us all in the long run.

Speaker 1 (01:41:23):
This organization also proudly stands in solidarity with mothers and
women across the nation advocating for their rights and autonomy,
and by doing so, they say, we aim to create
a supportive community that fosters healthier family dynamics and strengthens
the bonds between fathers and their children. So if you
want more information about them, you can go to fathers
Uplift dot org and that will be say that's always

(01:41:44):
in our show notes linked and that will be saved
as a story. It will be come out the day
that this episode comes out, and it will be saved
in our WWSPD highlights on our Instagra Instagram page, which
is That's messed up pod.

Speaker 3 (01:41:57):
Go follow us on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:41:59):
Yeah please, And next week we will be doing all pain.
Fucking We'll be doing all pain is one milady be
what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:42:10):
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:42:11):
I also thought my Lady was like a weird way
like my lady like, I don't understand. All pain is
one Matt, Like, what the fuck is this?

Speaker 3 (01:42:20):
All pain is one malady?

Speaker 1 (01:42:22):
Whatever, guys, it's season twenty four, episode twenty two. But
I do have to warn you.

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
To get the full story of this next episode we're doing,
you have to watch two svus and two Organized Crimes.

Speaker 1 (01:42:33):
It is a storyline of four episodes. Or just listen
to Kara talking about it. I don't recap.

Speaker 3 (01:42:38):
I'm gonna recap it in a way where you.

Speaker 1 (01:42:39):
Don't have to watch those if you don't, I'm just
saying if you want to, and you're like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:42:43):
It is a series of four episodes. They're trying to
get us to watch Organized Crime. Oh my god, bro,
you're gonna be so proud of me. I walked up
to someone on set and I go, you work at
SVU or what? He goes, Yeah, I've done the camera
there for seven years. It's like, ahha, that's like Psycho.
If you want to get.

Speaker 1 (01:43:02):
The full version of that is Psycho. But you fucking
clocked a cameraman a so Psycho the if you want
to get by got like that as a company man,
if you're a completist with four hours to kill before
next week. You can start with the SVU episode Bad Things,
then it jumps to the OC episode shadow Work, then
it goes to All Pain Is One Malady SVU, and

(01:43:22):
then back to OC with the episode that is called
With Many Names.

Speaker 3 (01:43:29):
So thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see
you next week.

Speaker 2 (01:43:41):
That's Messed Up as an exactly right production.

Speaker 1 (01:43:43):
If you have compliments you'd like to give us or
episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email
it That's Messed uppod at gmail dot com. Listen to
That's Messed Up on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:43:56):
Follow the podcast on Instagram at That's Messed Up Pod,
and follow us personally at Kara Klank and at Glitter Cheese.

Speaker 1 (01:44:03):
As always, please see our show notes for sources and
more information.

Speaker 2 (01:44:07):
Thank you so much to our senior producer Casey O'Brien
and our associate producer Christina Chamberlain, and to.

Speaker 1 (01:44:13):
Our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker Patrick Cottner,
and to Henry Kaperski for our theme song, and Carly
Geen Andrews for our artwork. Thank you to our executive producers,
Georgia hard Start, Karen Kilgarriff, Daniel Kramer, and everybody at
Exactly Right Media, Dun Dun

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Kara Klenk

Liza Treyger

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