December 11, 2024 • 52 mins
Amber and Lacey are so ready for Christmas. Lacey might even move to Christmas Town at this point, and you better believe their trees are up. While Amber's setting up her tree, she discovers she's got an intruder. Then they catch up with MESS podcast queens Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin, and things get real juicy. They're chatting about everything — fast food, facelifts, Amber's bad girl past, and way more. Lacey brought her wild dating app DMs, and trust, they're jaw-dropping. To wrap it all up, Sydnee and Marie drop their verdicts on Sister Court
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The weather is cold and it's time to warm up.
Poor summer Me and Amber and your coat. It's the
Ember Lacy, Lacey and Amber Show.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I feel like that was kind of risky, filthy, and
that's our sexy version of the Amber and Lacey, Lacy
and Amber Show. Welcome to the sexiest episode of the
Lacy Lacey at Amber Show. I hope you're ready.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
For, but.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's what we're doing. You farting, but listening to this
is agreement.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Lacey.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Merry Christmas to you, and Merry Christmas to you. It's
been Christmas now for two months, and we love it.
It's not enough. Every year, I feel like we may
get longer, and we should. Every year it gets longer
and longer. Two days, just we add on a few
more days. One time, Jenny Hagel took me to a place. Well,
(01:12):
first of all, we were living in Denver and she
was like, Amber, I need you to clear out four
hours on this day. We're going to take you somewhere
and just shut up. You have to go.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I was like, fantastic, Get in the car, we drive
and we drive up.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
This is like April or something. It's like spring or summer.
Drive up drive up. It's snowing and we're on a
mountain and we get there and it's Christmas Town and
it's like a little North Pole and everywhere you go
there's elves and stuff. And we go to Santa and
(01:49):
I dug to Santa. It was the cutest.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I was like, oh my god, this is happening.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Now. These people have to be at this job right now.
That's bananas Amber rough and yeah. If I ever fall
in love again, and uh, I'm gonna get married or
you see it going in that direction, I need you
to pull the fella aside and be like, you need
to get engaged in Christmas Town. Okay, I'm gonna say yes,
(02:19):
Gollam could ask me to marry him in Christmas now, Yeah,
be like, you know what, go and give me that
ring Christmastown. You made the right decision. I love it. Yeah,
Christmas magical place.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
But so beautiful Christmas Town.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Absolutely love that. Okay, in part of it. Now, everybody,
all the men out there, it will be lining up
trying to take me to Christmas Town.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, because she's gotta go with you, one by.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Just get engaged, one by one, Like you said, yes,
I get well. He took me to Christmas Town. I
don't know how they're fighting this out, man oh man, Yeah, Lacey,
I love it. I could live in a Christmas village.
I could live there. Wherever Christmas Town is, I could
live there all year round. I have to put my
tree up because I would tell people legally, I have
(03:12):
to keep this tree up. Then no one can tell
me to put it down.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
No one.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
This year, there's a lot of Christmas. I try my
very best to keep Christmas to a minimum because I
don't want a whole house of Christmas. I think Christmas
can go nuts, but it can't. I don't like Christmas
in the kitchen. I don't like Christmas in the bedroom.
(03:38):
I love Christmas in the bedroom. I lay my head
on that pillow, and it says it might be I
am not mad at Christmas in a mega but coming
to us a missiletoe. Yes, I said our producers. Everybody's like, yeah, Noah,
I said it, yeah, back up, yeah, Victor, I said it. Okay,
(03:59):
they see I tell your mom, go ahead and tell
her she's get mad. Of course she's gonna go all right. Wait,
they got five kids, they agree with me. Okay, So Lacey,
this Christmas is a very special Christmas. Oh, okay, I'm
(04:21):
putting up the tree. Now. This came out long after
I put my tree up. Okay, I don't want you
to be thinking it's December eleventh. She only just put
up her tree. What as we're talking to you. It
is not even Thanksgiving? And my ship is you hurt?
The police sirens they're coming to her because her tree's
up to her. Okay, I my friend Molly is in town.
(04:48):
We go to the Christmas tree room in like the
basement of the house. Get out the Christmas tree. I
open up the Christmas tree box. There's acorns in there. Molly. Oh,
I go, oh my god, there's acorns in here. Molly goes,
it's from some Christmas tree decoration. I go, Molly, there
are no acorns in my Christmas tree decoration. Now she goes,
(05:10):
I'm sure there is, and you just forgot. I was like, well,
technically I stay forgetting shit, so you're probably right. We
bring up the thousands and thousands of boxes of Christmas ornaments.
One of them is just bows, and it's just a box,
and then half the bows. It's halfway filled with bows.
Molly picks up this box. She goes, oh, see, you
(05:32):
do have acorn decorations. And half of the bucks is
filled with acorns, and half of the bus has bows
on it. So it's then I realized, absolutely nothing in
this house has acorns on it. An animal has brought
acorns into my house and stored them for their family,
(05:58):
so in my house doesn't. So then I call the
guy and the guy is like, I'm like, squirrels. Squirrels
live in my house. The guy goes, no, mice do this,
so what that's right? That's right, dear listener, mice are
celebrating Christmas at the Roughing household. They're in here with us,
(06:18):
and they're eating. I mean, also, I took all his food.
He couldn't possibly have stored more than this. Those so
many eggorns. But the mouse is so tiny, I don't know.
Are you sure it's not a squirrel? I'm sure it's not.
Gonna still say it's a squirrel. Okay, It makes me
feel better to think of it real squirrel in the
(06:38):
house with me than a mouse. Yes, yes, it makes
me feel way better than a squirrel because the squirrels
were little top hats. I told you a little yeah, yeah,
cute he's formal. He's formal. Okay, formal. A mouse is
just from the streets, right and the mouse gang gangang.
(07:00):
So that's where I'm at. And you see me frowning
on the street, I remembered, if you see the problem
on the street, have pity. Yeah, that's first of all.
Everyone who doesn't know that song that's from Hamilton, my
favorite song from Hamilton. It makes me cry every time.
(07:21):
And Amber makes fun of me. Okay, I don't know
I love that song all of that, but you do
love Hamilton, Yes, I love you. Love Hamilton more than anyone,
more than Lynn. I'll call him right now than the
person who created it. That's right, got nothing on me.
And he'll be like, how you feel it right now?
(07:43):
And they were like, Amber, we need you to be
in this, We need you to be in the musical.
Who would you do so? I thought of this? Yes
can Well, you're an actress. You can remember all of
that stuff. I can't. I just want to be dancing
in the back. That's all I want to be dancing in.
If you put it to music, I can do it.
I can remember a song, a bunch of lines I
(08:05):
don't know, like I couldn't do a one man show,
but the sing part of two or three songs, you
could do it. You definitely need you. I just want
to be absolutely not. I just want to be like
skipping in the big dress. That's all I want to do,
and I want to make it memorable. So I am
going to make up my own steps all a couple flourishes.
I also definitely could be Peggy. Yeah you could Peggy.
(08:28):
I can remember that as she doesn't have. And that's
the best song in the whole world. It is, show
me how to sing no to this? I that fucking song.
That is a very good song. That song every day
for at least a year. The song was my heart.
That was a really good song. That's our plug for
(08:49):
everyone to go see Hamilton whenever you can. Yeah, it's
that great. We're not lying to you. If you hate musicals,
you won't hate this one. You know what else was
good that I just saw? See it? Don't say it.
I want to see it so bad. Now should I
go dressed up as a witch? Should I paint my
skin green? Because that's gonna be a bunch of green
(09:10):
people there. Lucky for you, you already look like a witch.
You're right, and I want people to know that that's true.
Don't mess with me. I also feel that way, look Slytherin,
I'm gonna I'm gonna wait. I got something to tell you.
I'm gonna wait a little bit later. Yep, yep, yep,
because I need I need to discuss this with guests.
(09:32):
Let me turn myself that I write it down, because
I'm writing it down. Hell right now, you know Amber,
I will call Amber. Five seconds later. Amber will call
me back, and I'm like, Green, you should answer the phone.
That was five seconds ago. I remember when I was
gonna tell you, Okay, I hang up right on it.
That's what you get for not answering your phone. I
got nothing to tell you now. If you don't answer
the phone, what I call it's fast. It's fine to
(09:55):
be rememberance stuff. Yeah, remember remembering the house for now?
And I remember, Yeah, sometimes it's important, sometimes it's not.
It's never important. Today I've called Lacey four times and
I'm not exaggerating. Remember what we were talking about? Who knows?
Who knows? I don't know, we don't know. But my
(10:16):
friend is in time, and be like, I just call
Lacey talking about I woke up, say yeah, I'm also awake.
I'm like, all right, click, that's what we're talking about.
That's what we're doing, Lacy, I am awake.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You're not as awake as I am because I woke up. Well,
you'll never guess what happened to me this morning what
I was asleep. Uh huh. And then you'll never guess
what what I woke up, girl, The same thing happened
to me. That's as deep as they go.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Sorry, guys, that's what happens. So that's life. What else
that now? I wanted to tell you about the squirrel.
I also wanted to tell you a second thing. It does.
Oh you remember, I have no idea I remember, and
I thought you knew no. Okay, y, Lacy, I got nothing.
(11:11):
I'm just gonna tell this right now. Okay. So I
ordered uh dunkin Donuts because I didn't have any coffee
in the house. The guy comes up to the house.
I opened the door. You know what he said, aber
He goes, hey, I uh met a black lady once
at the Elks in north Oma at coffee. That's it,
(11:32):
right out of his hands. Goodbye. I shut the door. Listen,
Trump is president. I don't have time for these shenanigans.
I don't give a fuck. Stop telling me dumbass stories.
It is emboldened me. Now I don't care about your
I don't care about it. I made a Facebook post
about it. So many people who are like why why,
oh my goods. I met a black lady once. Okay,
(11:55):
Now when I meet a white person, I do not say, hey,
met a white person wants in Walmart. They don't care.
They would look at me like I was crazy. But
I have to act like this is an interesting story, sir.
I do not if you don't hand me my coffee
and turn around. Yeah, don't have time for this, okay life.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
That shit only happens to Lacey Huh, I mean Laceybee.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Just call him some Fred and his name was Fred.
I don't normally call people out a Fred. You know
who you are. Sorry, Please don't go around talking to people.
No one wants to hear those conversations, because if you
told me that story, what else are you saying? When
people come to the door, just hand them their thing
and say, have a great day, boy Fred. If you
(12:37):
don't get the fuck out my hey, everyone, this is
the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. You know
who our guests are today, Sidney Washington and Marie Faustan.
They have a new show called mess on iHeartMedia with
the Big Money Players Network. So after you're done with
this one, go click on that because we were acting
(12:59):
a fool fool over there. We were on it speaking
of acting the fool. That's what we're gonna do when
we get back from this break. Okay, I love you
old Yeah, hey, everybody, welcome back to the Amber and
(13:25):
Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Our guests today are Sydney
Washington and Marie Thouston. They are hilarious. Each of them
is tinier than the last two. Cute little babies, but
mostly they're just a seuple supermodels, and it's hilarious that
they tell jokes. I always think it's a very funny one.
(13:47):
Hot people end up best comedians because I'm like, for what,
why my shit is load bearing? You just for fun?
Doing everything? All right? You looked like I looked as
a child. Then then then there's a reason for it.
You look like this. I don't understand what the point is.
But Sydney Washington and are here because we love them.
(14:10):
But they're also here because they have a new podcast
called Mess. It's a weekly podcast where they dive into
miss and they try to make it make sense. Uh
they are hilarious and uh you can hear it every week.
And after you're done with this, gonna press play on
some Miss. If you like Mess, like I like Miss,
(14:31):
and I like Miss likes Sydney and Marie. How are y'all?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well, it's crazy that you say that we're so hot,
but it's like, h are you talking about yourself? You're
hot too, you and your perfect skin and all your
edges and your teeth those teeth you.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Yeah, edges and teeth.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
We're very bad. Oh but what I feel like they're
going to say, you know, I just woke up like this,
you know, world, and they probably did. They probably probably look,
this is how I slip on my time. So but
what makes me mad is you still look amazing. So
don't even go there, because if y'all saw me wake
(15:21):
up this morning, it is ever I see each other
every morning, and whoever says something carerible about the first
person right away, we crack up because well, we'll do
the FaceTime and then one of us goes, we have
to do that. Well, it's really bad.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I was gonna say, Marie famously looks amazing when she
wakes up. When I am not a morning person. I
am Oscar the grouch, the wigg ist, flipped the crust
in my eyes, breath is hot, like I'm not sexy
in the morning. So this is definitely set in earlier. Today,
I'm just saying I have eyeshadow. One guys, no as
(16:00):
I shut on except me.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, I have some. Marie, you're muted. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
There was an ambulance or a fire truck driving.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
By ambulamps to be respectful, I said, well, let me
let them die quietly.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
York Marie.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
You know, I'm such a New Yorker that I went
to Denver once and the silence was so loud at
night that I couldn't sleep because the crickets were screaming.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And crickets will get you.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I said, why did be so loud out there?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
But I needed it?
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Siren?
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah yeah, people breaking up outside your window.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
That really just puts me.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
It was kind of up the street from like a
late night well this apartment used to be my apartment
from this late night, late late lake club, and people
would walk down the street drunk every Friday and Saturday
night at like three in the morning. So I would say,
like once a month, someone would be right here and
(17:11):
it would be a good ass fight.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You get up and go back, run one of them
like you and then being right here and it'd be beautiful.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
One time, a car pulled up, the children got out
of the car. Each child fought a different child. They
all three back in the car and drove away.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, people in the car fought each other.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
They parked the car, got out and fought one another
and then go back in the car.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
It's caught on time for everybody to fight.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
They fought it out. Yeah, because they got back in
that car. They worked it out. And I'm okay with that. Well,
I feel like it was true.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
What it means is they they knew that not all
of them had transportation to the fight, and they said,
you know what, since we all go in the same way,
let's I want to stick a cab.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Those were men, and I know they were all men. Yeah,
it's all men.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Now it feels that feels like old school New York
where people just like challenge each other to like a fight,
and then you know whoever won, then you walk away.
There's no getting online, going live.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Now it's viral.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
It's like wait, wait, wait, let me get my tripod
before y'all start boxing. It's like, yeah, I just want
a good fight, and then everybody goes home.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I thank the Lord every day for my age because
I was out there being insane. My goodness, if someone
had one minute of video for any moment from seventeen
to I'm gonna say twenty seven, what were you doing
for those ten years?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I want to know. I need to know.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I was wild, motherfucker? What was I doing? Yes, I
did it? Ever was in the street, Yes, And I
was in the streets.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Were fighting in the streets?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Whoa a little bit because if you used to be
I mean, now I'm I'm sleepy and no one's testing me.
But it used to be if you grab my I
would beat your ass. Now that's if.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You would grab my butter, I would beat you up.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
And the thing I would do is if a guy
would grab my butt.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Why were so many guys grabbing my butt? Grabbing my butt? Yeah,
people grab us and then they would like kind of
like run or be like and then I'd be like, oh,
come here, then talk to me, and they get close
enough and i'd him in the balls. Then they fall
to the ground and I kicked them until I got tired.
I stepped out.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
You were in the Queen La Tea for You and
I t y video.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
She was in the music video.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
She invented the video.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Camber. This is wild because.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I always see you like kind of like in a
like a blaze or a situation.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Your butt is usually covered.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Let me your butt.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Are you covering your butt because you always got grabbed?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
No, I'm covering my butt because I fell out of
love with it. But used to be used to be.
You couldn't get no clothes on me. Baby belly, Wait,
lazy lay, is this true? I need photosus belly was
out out. I need to see a photo. I need
(20:28):
a TV.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, we need photos immediately.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'll find one. I mean, you're cleaning out this apartment.
I'm going to find an old photo. Let's show with you. Man.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I was we got it because because Amber, now you're
just like turtleneck clean covered up.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
You're just maybe don't want to show something, right.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
I don't think i've ever even seen your elbows or cloud.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Was the best private that's between me and the lord,
it was socially acceptable to talk to you from inside
of a bag where I could just put my head
out of it. That's what I would do. I would
do it every day. I don't need it. And it's wild.
It's wild.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
How you guys both, I mean obviously your sisters you
have the same face.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yeah, yeah, very similar faces.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I will say this every day when I wake up,
I look more and more like our brother every day
that your mother brother, I look like Jimmy. All look
like Jimmy. Jimmy.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Jimmy is a hottie. Obviously. If if this is if
everybody is the same.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Thought but like italic and like bold, I'm sure Jimmy
is is sexy.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
It we are the same font cute.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
We all got big stupid eyes.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
Big guys are in you know, the girl's get surgery
to get their eyes like, how you do I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Okay, Well, first of all, there's like the fox. There's
the fox surgery, the fox eye surgery where they pin
like the hair pinned, like your hairline back a little
bit and that pools your eyes so that it looks
more So.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I was just about to say.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Like Murray, I don't know if Christina Aguilera and Nancy
Lohan has got it, but they look incredible.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They look great.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
Allegedly, they're saying it's a face lift and that's what
the girls need to get.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
They need to get a facelift or they.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Need to do everything at once, and they shouldn't like
space everything out. But they look well rested, they look obviously,
they look like they have money, because they do. And
it just looks like they look younger than they did
when they were younger. It's insane.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
Christina Aguilera looks like when she first came out. Yep, absolutely,
and she's I don't know how she is, but she
that's a grown lady.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
She's too right.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
And Lindsay Lohan, I don't, I don't know what she did.
She she sacrificed the lamb or a small child or something,
but Lindsey bounced back in a way that I'm like, okay,
this is freaky Friday.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Well there's a there is a meme. There was a meme.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Yesterday that said, oh, this is what sobriety does and
then everybody was.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Like, stop that, stop that narrative.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
That's a lie.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
She's she's a millionaire, she's famous. That's what you cannot
promote sobriety, sobriety in that way.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Because because I'm sober, but I'm exhausted, Like I would
love whatever. Lindsay, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
You don't look tired.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Oh well, I just feel tired.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I'm like, can I get a facelift for my spirit
and for like my energy, And we would be like,
it's vitamins, it's water, it's it's not eating McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
That's all you need to stop doing.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's too much.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Yes, looks amazing. Sydney could be a spokesperson for Popeyes.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Oh no, I stopped from when I allegedly got food
poisoning from it, like six.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Seven months ago. I stopped. I haven't had a since.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Oh I said enough.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I said enough is enough?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Is enough?
Speaker 3 (24:24):
On my watch, I'm not on my butt like I was, like,
I'm done. I don't want to be sick. No more.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I haven't had McDonald's in seven hundred years. I have
had every day I wanted more than the day before.
Oh not even fries. No, No, because I know it's
a slippery slope. I have to it's over. Did you
just have Popeyes and you have a bag of McDonald's
(24:52):
behind you. I do not lie. I do not lie.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I said I did not.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I did not have Popeyes, but I did have a
fish filet the other night. I'm sorry, extra chargers, extra
charge stars, these faces?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What is going on?
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I think I've.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Had a McDonald I think I've had one filet o
fish my entire life.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
What's she ordered? Fish filet? I love it. I'm what's
wrong with it? It's it's thinley fried. You know, I'm
about to confess to something and I can never see this.
I don't only ever, ever ever said this.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I don't want to be there.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
One time, when we were little, my dad went and
got everybody something from McDonald's and he's passing it out.
He's passing out the hamburgers and he hands me a
fucking fish filet. You eight years old, don't nobody want
no fish file at? No? And I eededly start crying
and he goes, you bet you better eat that fith
(25:51):
So then you got well, what did he get right?
Everybody got like burgers, but I think there was a mistake.
So he just handed lace Lacey going this fishful at
and it was you know, it's in the box. And
I remember going faking it okay, and I took it
to my room and I just crushed it. You didn't
(26:11):
need a listen. I didn't eat that. I didn't eat
that I was. I went hungry, but satisfied that I
crushed that fucker up and go eat that. Didn't go
make me eat that fin.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Nemo didn't do anything to you, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That's Amber knows. Everybody in the house would have got
a spanking if that was found out. What did you
get that order? What was what was your You got
t got a Hamburger fries like I wanted me out
the fish for lef come past, be the.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Fish for life.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I don't understand. I felt. I felt like sweet revenge
for crushing it up, but I also was hungry wasting food.
What a dame did you get it? I don't think so.
I just think I got the dang I don't even
remember but that There's no way you didn't get fresh
fish fish fish.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
You didn't fish fish.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I didn't do fish sandwiches like that McDonald's. No.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
No, I guess I'm an alien and you're trying to
get food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You're trying to get it again fish McDonald's.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
I have never gotten sand from a fish filet. I'll
tell you, I.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Will, I will.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's a hell. I'll die on whatever fish they got
is fresh over there? Anything else, fish whatever, whatever.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Those frosties in the in the chicken, those are not fresh.
It's the fish. I will stand by the fish.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
How is the beer fresh? How is the fish fresh?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Is? If no one is buying it? You can you
get fish? You get a fish from nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
They want to crushed up. This is how much my
mom loves filet a fish sandwich. She one year came
up allergic to all foods except for lamb, rice, salt,
and butter. I want to say something like that, something
that like together kind of made a meal, and she
(28:02):
kept having to go to the hospital. And you know,
then we didn't know what. We just knew she couldn't
eat most things. So then once they found out, okay,
also you can't eat fish, she just got a bunch
of epipins. And then one time she pulled up in
the car and we were outside and we looked at
(28:23):
her and she just looks at us and goes, we go, mom,
what's wrong? And she goes fish sandwich and she had
the EpiPen and she had the fish sandwich, and she
was like, that's what it's worth. It's worth that, it's
worth it, it's worth.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
I'm not mad at your mom. That's something I would
do if sandwich. If I was allergic to fast food, you,
I would have to stalk up. I would have to
get the Family Value Plan of EpiPens because I'm a need.
I love like a little like nugget from Wendy's. I
love a sausage biscuit from McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I love I love a Taco Supreme from Taco Bell.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Todream withpos I haven't.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I haven't had Taco Bell in years. Wow, I need
Taco Bell tonight. Thank you, Amber.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Amber loves Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
I love Taco Bell. Let me get to drinks in.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Taco Bell, to go to Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Taco Bell is like Mexican White Castle.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
It's all you. You want to be things.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Do you want to fight? You want to box? Don't
you talk about my belt like that?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
I need you have to go.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
T Bell.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I just feel like life is sure and yes, I
could eat better, yes, and you know I think that
I eventually it's coming.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's coming.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
So so because I'm just so, I'm much more sensitive
to things.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
But I'm like, you want what you want when you wanted.
Who are we holding back for?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I can I have to I have to eat.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
I have to eat trash sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes I
run some time.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Sometimes you lie.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
I like it, Thank you, I appreciate it. I really
have to live live, you know, crazy on this call. Yeah,
I have to live crazy on this call. And it's clear,
it's clearly not y'all.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Tacoil is crazy. Yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
I'm not smoking weed. I'm not doing party goods. I
can't even have you know.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Don Julio, So what do I do? Don't tell me
what to do? You know what, live your life because
I can do drugs.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I will have some tequila.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
I might even eat the worm, so you know, I'm
not gonna eat the worm.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Like what just did that out there? I feel like
I like the thought of the worm and the tequila
because it's a built in dare and I like that.
I like that. So you have to eat it if
you if it falls in your cup, I don't know,
I think, so you have to right, just eat the Wormyamber.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
I want to know this, this other you because you
you say, I mean this. I just can't see past
you know the Blazer. Past the Blazer is your new book.
Beyond Me, Beyond the Blazer, Beyond.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
The Blaze, be on this for you. I was such
a wild child because I did a theater called Boom
Chicago and Amster, and that's where I was socialized. I
was socialized in Amsterdam at a theater. They had a
bar in it. I was a madman.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I never I've never been to Amsterdam. Lacy, have you been?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I have. I went to visit her and see the
show's we were on Amsterdam.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I heard they're shutting the borders down because there's too
many tourists over there.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
What we hold up?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
What's the problem?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Too many tourists going there to be like I'm gonna
be I oh, red light district titties like they said,
uh uh, y'all blocking the bike lanes.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Get them out of here. It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, And Amsterdam is this big. So you got three
people in Amsterdam, it's two.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Let me get on over there.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
I need to get on over there, because I, you know,
I just feel like I want to travel more, and
I want to go to the places where they accept
you know, amazing free black women. And you know I
want good food and good vibes and good music.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Get any good.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
You're not getting no, no.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
No for you.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I think you're thinking of Portugal.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
M Portugal is where all the black women are recently
moving to. Okay, so are we taking a girl's trip?
Are we going to Portugal? No? Wait, let's stop. Let's
what are we doing? What are we doing? Where were you?
Black men? At you? I see y'all all that I
(33:32):
can see y'all all any time. Where are y'all? I
just broke up with all of y'all? Where are I'm
sticking as hell? Then dead? You someone huscular? Walt By huscular?
That's my tight what's huscular? It's when you like Bill,
but you got a little got a little weight on you.
You'll need to take all your weight off. You got
(33:53):
a little weight on you to.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Be like cut.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I need you to be big. Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You know what I described that.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
I describe a man like that as somebody that like
if he lays on you, you go like like that
breath comes out of your body because he's.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
He's got mad of weight. I don't need you to
have a smaller waist than me. We don't have a problem.
I don't carry you on my hip like a toddler. No,
I can't have not a batitue boo. No oh No,
you don't want a guy that.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
You can put in a baby beorn and Melca bub babyby.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
No man looking for anyway back to where people write us?
Where about the black man going on vacation? And are
they looking for us? What's going on? You know about
the passport bros.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Or you talk about somebody else?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I don't know. I don't know. You know what?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Lay? I feel like I feel like you know what? Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
So if yeah, if you know where the black men are,
tell us and if you are a black man, quit hiding.
Come on.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Mama's kitchen, okay, Lacy, I will tell you if you go.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
If you go to an afrobeats party, that's where they're at.
A lot of them are there.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Di You know, I was in an African dance troop.
I was in an African dance troop for years and
Trump African dance troop is not Afro, maam No. But
we went to Afro. We went to the parties. Okay, yeah, yeah,
that wasn't it. Okay, Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Lacey, we have to go to the break. Can you
do it too?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Everyone hold on to your butts. As Amber says, we
are taking a small break and we won't be right
back with the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Hey, everybody,
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacey Lacy
(35:55):
and Amber Show. It's time for something called please slide
out with Lacey's DMS. It's where we read actually am
sent to Lacey, who is a real person, by real people.
She reads them out loud and the hopes that you
won't make the same mistake. Okay, so my first one
and I talked to Amber yesterday. Maybe we had about
twenty phone calls and I'm not lying. And I held
this one in because I wanted to say it fresh
(36:18):
to her on the show. This might be my best
and favorite response that I'm going to be doing now
from now. And so a man sent me a dick
pic and said, good morning, I'm wide awake. So I said, wow,
I'm really turned on, and I sent him a bigger
dick pic. That's what I will wait here than a
(36:46):
guy wait who's bigger dick? Did? You said? Got it? Also?
You know where? But I just got it. I'm sorry
I didn't have it. I googled it. Yeah, okay, I
want Then I got it from my mom's in the
next room. It from some born inside, but I got it.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
My god, A win is a win. Win is a win.
It's not your mom's in the next room, and you
still got a whisper.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You girl, this is your own you whisper your address? No,
this is my I'm staying at my parents' house. Okay,
but then you know what I was my house? Hit
her on the pod. Don't matter even if it was
my house, my mom, I'm flying here. What about let
me send her your address? Your address? You ain't gonna do.
(37:33):
I will not open the door.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I won't open the door. Don't.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I don't want to be crafty. She'll be like, she's crafty.
I made you some food. You want to open that door.
She'll be like, you know what, be so cute?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah, now you got give you the face she receiving.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
So that's my favorite response. I will always have that.
I'm going to save that pick and send it to people,
and they send me one. You're more than welcome to
copy this. It works. That man left me alone. Okay.
The second one is now, I love honesty. This man
said I got cord in three days. Let's speak now
because I'm definitely going away. Hurry up, hurry this up.
(38:21):
I didn't respond to that. I start that he ain't
writing me asking me to put money on his books,
but a wish.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
It feels like like he's like, I got he said,
if I had.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
One wish, it.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Let him make his wish.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, he can make it all he wants to. But
this MM, but I did like his honesty, and I
believed every word that he said. He was really He's like, yeah,
who's out there, who's going to respond to this?
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And you know what, I think what's so amazing about
straight men is that they take a lot of risks
and they're never ashamed.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
And they said, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Put it out there.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
And meanwhile, we are kind of like, well, let me
put this in the group chat.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Does this make sense?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
Let me, you know, craft something really witty and something
that doesn't look so desperate. Meanwhile, men are like, no,
I am desperate and I'm going to jail.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
What's up?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
Yeah, they're like, i'mn't even say They don't even say
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
I think they just say it, say it. Yeah, they
don't even repeat that.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I somebody might respond to that. Got to be mean.
But if he sends that out to fifty women, he
might get a response. Oh he is for sure might
get a response.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Was the odds? Yeah? Was he cute?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
He was cute.
Speaker 4 (39:46):
He was cute.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
That's why I was like, somebody is gonna be like,
well it's been a while. They're gonna respond to him. Okay,
this last one, yeah, okay, this man said I would
love to give you corn rows? Can you cook? Now
you all are picturing, I know who you're picturing to
(40:09):
ask me that I would love to give you corner.
I mean, he wants me to sit down and he's
braiding my hair. Then he's asking me if I can
make him some greens. The message isn't funny, and I'm
gonna show you the picture and I need it to
not be on the pot. Don't don't show this during
the clip.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
I'm gonna blur it out. We're gonna show it during
the clute.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Oh, do anything, you gotta drop.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
It and drop it in the chat.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Okay, but you can see I love. I wish you
could see it better. I saw it.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
I would love to give you corn rows from corner
Braids by Bradley, Braids by.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Brad What is his name? What is his name? Does
he have a stringy bang? His name is Bradley.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
It looks like a stringy short bang, cornering Mary.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
His name Devon d He probably pronounces it Devin. But
I was like, so is it Davon? Is it trying
to tell me his name is Damon? I bet you
guys think I'm lying. You guys think I'm lying you. Oh,
you can't see the name, But Devin Davion, it's Devin.
(41:23):
We don't call him Dine, know Davon.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
If he had a postular in being the d then
it would be day ball David.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Sir, you're not doing that. You're not You're not even
not even hoskular. Girl. Here, he weighs thirty five pounds.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
You're not gonna give him no time. Damn. It's strict
over here. It's strict.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
It's real strict, Lacy, Yeah it is, girl, I'm not
doing this. This is insane. This is a little bit strict,
but you know what's even stricter. Sister Court. Hey, everybody,
the Sister Court. Sister Court is where our listeners right
in the problems that they need advice on. You can
(42:03):
write into Amber and Lacey Advice at gmail dot com.
Now its Sister Court. Lacey is the prosecutor prosecutor. I'm
the other part electrocute defend.
Speaker 6 (42:22):
The Amber knows law, yes, but our judges today, so
Lacey and I will battle it out to see who's
right about Sister Court.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
But what we say doesn't matter because we have two
judges here with us today, Judge Sydney and Judge Marie.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Let's hear our first case, Lisy, want to read it?
Speaker 2 (42:44):
I sure Will is giving cash as a Christmas gift tacky.
I never know what to give my niece, so I
was just going to give her some cash for Christmas,
but then my wife said it was tacky and I
should be giving her something more meaningful. But I'm afraid
I'll screw up and give her something wrong. So what
do you think it's giving some is giving her some
cash okay? Or do I actually have to buy her something?
(43:04):
Give met you'all some cash? She don't care. What the
fuck how old is the babe money? We don't have
the age. Give him, give him some money. I'll give
the baby. It doesn't matter two months old, I think.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Well, I mean cash for like a teen and up. Absolutely,
But for a baby, you get a baby like a book,
You get a baby them some little pink uggs or
something like.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
You don't have to do nothing crazy for the baby.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
The cash is going to go to the mom.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, we get the cash.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Cash for Moms is a is a new site that
I'm building and if you all you have to do
is send me the cash and I'll make sure that
the moms will get it.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Seven Cash for Moms.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Cash for the number four.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
That's a letter four.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
I think cash is good because it's not like it's
not going to get used. I think there is a
there's a small place in everybody's home where people just
throw gifts that they're just not going to use. Ever,
they can't return it because they don't have the gift
for seed, or they waited too long.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
So it's just like you can never get mad at cash.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
You're like, I'm gonna need this for something either a
just kill either the phone bill, I.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Get my nails done or something like.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
But it is.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
It is thoughtful when you do get somebody gift that
they need it and then you see them with it.
But other than that, it's just like, stop wasting your
money on stuff that people are not gonna use.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Cash. I do not care about that. Candle. Drop cash,
Give me the cash. You don't care about no candles.
Take the child to the all, be like, here's some money,
and now you can go spend it, and then take
the and then get yourself for Arne Julius and follow
this child around the mall. That's what the child wants.
(44:51):
What's the Orange Julius?
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Oh my god, I didn't know what that was. What
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Do they not have Arn's Julius in New York? Is
that basketball? That is it? That is a drink place
in the mall. You get shakes, you get a little snacks. Well,
we don't signature drink. Was the Orange Julius?
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Orange?
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Everywhere there was an Orange Julius. It's now Orange Julius
and Dairy Queen because I think they're owned by the
same something.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
So so that's the type of the type of food
I think we have.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Just time for one more, Just time for one more?
One more? Do you want me to read it? I'll
read it. I'll read it. I'll read it. Family is
complaining that my holiday dinner is not a pot. Look,
I'm hosting a holiday dinner for about thirty with many
people coming in from out of town. Since people are traveling,
I've told everyone not worry about bringing anything. But people
are upset, saying that they want to bring something or
(45:53):
that it's too much for me. But I planned on
cooking everything because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by
making them travel. It's food? What should I do? Sound
like she can't cook food?
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Yeah, truly.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Now they might be asking if they can bring food
because they think you can't cook.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Either way, let people bring food. Who gives a shit?
You gotta control all the food. People gets.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
People, people have their cats all over the counters. No, no, no, no,
that's true. See, I'm not here for I'm not here
for thirty people bringing bringing food, thirty different people.
Speaker 4 (46:28):
No thirty dishes. You know you have thirty minutes? No thirty,
I don't I don't want thirty. I don't want thirty people.
I don't want thirty people bringing stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, but I don't know what you do in a kitchen.
If our greens gonna be there, you might decide you
don't want greens. And now I gotta suffer. I'm bringing
my greens. Okay, judge, and I'm sorry you are the judge. Also,
you know who? Everybody know who dirty? Everybody know cousin
Sharon is dirty. And I want to hear food. One time.
My mom is in the next room. I'm sure she
can hear me. One time, my brother had this little
(46:58):
girlfriend and she came to us, had a whole tray
or something. My mom took the tray, threw that as
ship in the trash. She threw it in the front,
but she couldn't find it. Food time came gone, I
need you bring your food to my mom and dad's house.
Bring your food around here. Bring for real. She did
(47:18):
that in the trash.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Okay, Yeah, she shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Don't bring shouldn't have done it. It was wrong, but no
one was going to eat. Do you know do you
remember when the dish was that? She was some type
of dessert and I'll never remember. It was like marshmallows.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Yeah, it was yellow, is it yellow with the marshmallows.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Definitely could have been. Oh we did a little everybody.
It could have been. It could have been, but it wasn't.
I'm gonna do a little secret, guys. It wasn't a
blood dish.
Speaker 5 (47:49):
Oh girl, when you send your your brother bought a
girl home, I.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Already knew you know, you knew that you are. You
are Nebraska.
Speaker 7 (48:00):
We Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy for you can We're like containing her,
can't find it, it's gone, Yo.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Your mother didn't even clean the pan out.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
She threw the whole pan in the trash.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
She threw it into the trash. No one has ever
in the history of America brought food to mom and
Dad's house. I know, bringing gives a very strict speech.
Don't bring none in here, don't bring nothe in here.
I tell people, don't bringing it to my mom's house.
I love your mom. So my black friend's black friends, No, don't.
Speaker 5 (48:35):
Your mother sounds like my mother, except my aunt will
bring food and she is bringing food again for Thanksgiving,
and they judge each other's food. So my aunt will
be eating something my mom cooking. She'd be like, it's
not really giving. And then my mom will eat something
and my aunt thought and she'd be like, why it.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Look like that?
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Oh wait, I need to come for Thanksgiving. This sounds
fun just giving entertainment.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Yeah, it's crazy and that's okay. Christmas at our houses,
so everyone Merry Christmas from our family. Yours were now
one family. Now, oh my god, wouldn't that be fun?
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Loud that.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Holidays?
Speaker 5 (49:21):
Our separate families are already loud, so we would be
loud loud with distinction.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
You know what's loud is a new podcast on iHeartMedia
called Mess by Washington and Murray Fauston. It's the podcast
you're about to press play on now. It's hilarious and
it's also adorable. Now you can find me online at
Amber Ruff and I Bet across all socials. You can
(49:50):
find Lacey at Lacey Lamar one across all socials. The
one is because she forgot she had Lacey Lamar made
a new one, remembered that the old one was indeed
her couldn't find the password. Sydney and Marie, where can
we find you? On that? They see you forgot your
passwords to your dad? One? Two I tried. I tried
(50:12):
to hire someone to get in. They couldn't do it. It's
just that it's out. They're floating around. You want to
talk to Because I'm known now, I don't know how
to get in there.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Wait, what about the recovery email?
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Nothing.
Speaker 8 (50:26):
I hired a person they could not get in too.
My instigrael I got two, I got two. I got
like that song two chains and two phones.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
I got two. I got to Well, not about me.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
I'm not locked out of my social media.
Speaker 5 (50:44):
You go find me at reezi r e e e
z y so R three e c y and you
can come see me at Why Are You Single?
Speaker 3 (50:53):
The dating game.
Speaker 5 (50:54):
Show that our host obviously come find me on mess Yes,
they say, next time you're in.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
New York, I'm there.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I'm there, the perfect match, perfect match.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
If I don't fall in love between now and then,
oh okay, I'll find you.
Speaker 4 (51:11):
Yes, mine is just said BW j usd s y
d BW and I have a solo show called how
to Certifier, and I usually do it at Union Hall.
So whenever I post that, because I'm bad at promoting,
please come heayy.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Merry Christmas to all and Tula good night. Thanks for
tuning in to the Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show.
I'm sorry, I said tune in. That's not really how
technology works anymore. It Marry Christmas. The Amber and Lacy
(51:53):
Lacy and Amber Show is a production by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and hosted
by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. Executive produced by Noah
Avoar and Hans Sni. Super produced by Becca Raimos. Because
She's a Superhero co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and
mixed by Ty Herd. Music by David schmol
The weather is cold and it's time to warm up.
Poor summer Me and Amber and your coat. It's the
Ember Lacy, Lacey and Amber Show.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I feel like that was kind of risky, filthy, and
that's our sexy version of the Amber and Lacey, Lacy
and Amber Show. Welcome to the sexiest episode of the
Lacy Lacey at Amber Show. I hope you're ready.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
For, but.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's what we're doing. You farting, but listening to this
is agreement.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Lacey.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Merry Christmas to you, and Merry Christmas to you. It's
been Christmas now for two months, and we love it.
It's not enough. Every year, I feel like we may
get longer, and we should. Every year it gets longer
and longer. Two days, just we add on a few
more days. One time, Jenny Hagel took me to a place. Well,
(01:12):
first of all, we were living in Denver and she
was like, Amber, I need you to clear out four
hours on this day. We're going to take you somewhere
and just shut up. You have to go.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I was like, fantastic, Get in the car, we drive
and we drive up.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
This is like April or something. It's like spring or summer.
Drive up drive up. It's snowing and we're on a
mountain and we get there and it's Christmas Town and
it's like a little North Pole and everywhere you go
there's elves and stuff. And we go to Santa and
(01:49):
I dug to Santa. It was the cutest.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I was like, oh my god, this is happening.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Now. These people have to be at this job right now.
That's bananas Amber rough and yeah. If I ever fall
in love again, and uh, I'm gonna get married or
you see it going in that direction, I need you
to pull the fella aside and be like, you need
to get engaged in Christmas Town. Okay, I'm gonna say yes,
(02:19):
Gollam could ask me to marry him in Christmas now, Yeah,
be like, you know what, go and give me that
ring Christmastown. You made the right decision. I love it. Yeah,
Christmas magical place.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
But so beautiful Christmas Town.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Absolutely love that. Okay, in part of it. Now, everybody,
all the men out there, it will be lining up
trying to take me to Christmas Town.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, because she's gotta go with you, one by.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Just get engaged, one by one, Like you said, yes,
I get well. He took me to Christmas Town. I
don't know how they're fighting this out, man oh man, Yeah, Lacey,
I love it. I could live in a Christmas village.
I could live there. Wherever Christmas Town is, I could
live there all year round. I have to put my
tree up because I would tell people legally, I have
(03:12):
to keep this tree up. Then no one can tell
me to put it down.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
No one.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
This year, there's a lot of Christmas. I try my
very best to keep Christmas to a minimum because I
don't want a whole house of Christmas. I think Christmas
can go nuts, but it can't. I don't like Christmas
in the kitchen. I don't like Christmas in the bedroom.
(03:38):
I love Christmas in the bedroom. I lay my head
on that pillow, and it says it might be I
am not mad at Christmas in a mega but coming
to us a missiletoe. Yes, I said our producers. Everybody's like, yeah, Noah,
I said it, yeah, back up, yeah, Victor, I said it. Okay,
(03:59):
they see I tell your mom, go ahead and tell
her she's get mad. Of course she's gonna go all right. Wait,
they got five kids, they agree with me. Okay, So Lacey,
this Christmas is a very special Christmas. Oh, okay, I'm
(04:21):
putting up the tree. Now. This came out long after
I put my tree up. Okay, I don't want you
to be thinking it's December eleventh. She only just put
up her tree. What as we're talking to you. It
is not even Thanksgiving? And my ship is you hurt?
The police sirens they're coming to her because her tree's
up to her. Okay, I my friend Molly is in town.
(04:48):
We go to the Christmas tree room in like the
basement of the house. Get out the Christmas tree. I
open up the Christmas tree box. There's acorns in there. Molly. Oh,
I go, oh my god, there's acorns in here. Molly goes,
it's from some Christmas tree decoration. I go, Molly, there
are no acorns in my Christmas tree decoration. Now she goes,
(05:10):
I'm sure there is, and you just forgot. I was like, well,
technically I stay forgetting shit, so you're probably right. We
bring up the thousands and thousands of boxes of Christmas ornaments.
One of them is just bows, and it's just a box,
and then half the bows. It's halfway filled with bows.
Molly picks up this box. She goes, oh, see, you
(05:32):
do have acorn decorations. And half of the bucks is
filled with acorns, and half of the bus has bows
on it. So it's then I realized, absolutely nothing in
this house has acorns on it. An animal has brought
acorns into my house and stored them for their family,
(05:58):
so in my house doesn't. So then I call the
guy and the guy is like, I'm like, squirrels. Squirrels
live in my house. The guy goes, no, mice do this,
so what that's right? That's right, dear listener, mice are
celebrating Christmas at the Roughing household. They're in here with us,
(06:18):
and they're eating. I mean, also, I took all his food.
He couldn't possibly have stored more than this. Those so
many eggorns. But the mouse is so tiny, I don't know.
Are you sure it's not a squirrel? I'm sure it's not.
Gonna still say it's a squirrel. Okay, It makes me
feel better to think of it real squirrel in the
(06:38):
house with me than a mouse. Yes, yes, it makes
me feel way better than a squirrel because the squirrels
were little top hats. I told you a little yeah, yeah,
cute he's formal. He's formal. Okay, formal. A mouse is
just from the streets, right and the mouse gang gangang.
(07:00):
So that's where I'm at. And you see me frowning
on the street, I remembered, if you see the problem
on the street, have pity. Yeah, that's first of all.
Everyone who doesn't know that song that's from Hamilton, my
favorite song from Hamilton. It makes me cry every time.
(07:21):
And Amber makes fun of me. Okay, I don't know
I love that song all of that, but you do
love Hamilton, Yes, I love you. Love Hamilton more than anyone,
more than Lynn. I'll call him right now than the
person who created it. That's right, got nothing on me.
And he'll be like, how you feel it right now?
(07:43):
And they were like, Amber, we need you to be
in this, We need you to be in the musical.
Who would you do so? I thought of this? Yes
can Well, you're an actress. You can remember all of
that stuff. I can't. I just want to be dancing
in the back. That's all I want to be dancing in.
If you put it to music, I can do it.
I can remember a song, a bunch of lines I
(08:05):
don't know, like I couldn't do a one man show,
but the sing part of two or three songs, you
could do it. You definitely need you. I just want
to be absolutely not. I just want to be like
skipping in the big dress. That's all I want to do,
and I want to make it memorable. So I am
going to make up my own steps all a couple flourishes.
I also definitely could be Peggy. Yeah you could Peggy.
(08:28):
I can remember that as she doesn't have. And that's
the best song in the whole world. It is, show
me how to sing no to this? I that fucking song.
That is a very good song. That song every day
for at least a year. The song was my heart.
That was a really good song. That's our plug for
(08:49):
everyone to go see Hamilton whenever you can. Yeah, it's
that great. We're not lying to you. If you hate musicals,
you won't hate this one. You know what else was
good that I just saw? See it? Don't say it.
I want to see it so bad. Now should I
go dressed up as a witch? Should I paint my
skin green? Because that's gonna be a bunch of green
(09:10):
people there. Lucky for you, you already look like a witch.
You're right, and I want people to know that that's true.
Don't mess with me. I also feel that way, look Slytherin,
I'm gonna I'm gonna wait. I got something to tell you.
I'm gonna wait a little bit later. Yep, yep, yep,
because I need I need to discuss this with guests.
(09:32):
Let me turn myself that I write it down, because
I'm writing it down. Hell right now, you know Amber,
I will call Amber. Five seconds later. Amber will call
me back, and I'm like, Green, you should answer the phone.
That was five seconds ago. I remember when I was
gonna tell you, Okay, I hang up right on it.
That's what you get for not answering your phone. I
got nothing to tell you now. If you don't answer
the phone, what I call it's fast. It's fine to
(09:55):
be rememberance stuff. Yeah, remember remembering the house for now?
And I remember, Yeah, sometimes it's important, sometimes it's not.
It's never important. Today I've called Lacey four times and
I'm not exaggerating. Remember what we were talking about? Who knows?
Who knows? I don't know, we don't know. But my
(10:16):
friend is in time, and be like, I just call
Lacey talking about I woke up, say yeah, I'm also awake.
I'm like, all right, click, that's what we're talking about.
That's what we're doing, Lacy, I am awake.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You're not as awake as I am because I woke up. Well,
you'll never guess what happened to me this morning what
I was asleep. Uh huh. And then you'll never guess
what what I woke up, girl, The same thing happened
to me. That's as deep as they go.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Sorry, guys, that's what happens. So that's life. What else
that now? I wanted to tell you about the squirrel.
I also wanted to tell you a second thing. It does.
Oh you remember, I have no idea I remember, and
I thought you knew no. Okay, y, Lacy, I got nothing.
(11:11):
I'm just gonna tell this right now. Okay. So I
ordered uh dunkin Donuts because I didn't have any coffee
in the house. The guy comes up to the house.
I opened the door. You know what he said, aber
He goes, hey, I uh met a black lady once
at the Elks in north Oma at coffee. That's it,
(11:32):
right out of his hands. Goodbye. I shut the door. Listen,
Trump is president. I don't have time for these shenanigans.
I don't give a fuck. Stop telling me dumbass stories.
It is emboldened me. Now I don't care about your
I don't care about it. I made a Facebook post
about it. So many people who are like why why,
oh my goods. I met a black lady once. Okay,
(11:55):
Now when I meet a white person, I do not say, hey,
met a white person wants in Walmart. They don't care.
They would look at me like I was crazy. But
I have to act like this is an interesting story, sir.
I do not if you don't hand me my coffee
and turn around. Yeah, don't have time for this, okay life.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
That shit only happens to Lacey Huh, I mean Laceybee.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Just call him some Fred and his name was Fred.
I don't normally call people out a Fred. You know
who you are. Sorry, Please don't go around talking to people.
No one wants to hear those conversations, because if you
told me that story, what else are you saying? When
people come to the door, just hand them their thing
and say, have a great day, boy Fred. If you
(12:37):
don't get the fuck out my hey, everyone, this is
the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. You know
who our guests are today, Sidney Washington and Marie Faustan.
They have a new show called mess on iHeartMedia with
the Big Money Players Network. So after you're done with
this one, go click on that because we were acting
(12:59):
a fool fool over there. We were on it speaking
of acting the fool. That's what we're gonna do when
we get back from this break. Okay, I love you
old Yeah, hey, everybody, welcome back to the Amber and
(13:25):
Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Our guests today are Sydney
Washington and Marie Thouston. They are hilarious. Each of them
is tinier than the last two. Cute little babies, but
mostly they're just a seuple supermodels, and it's hilarious that
they tell jokes. I always think it's a very funny one.
(13:47):
Hot people end up best comedians because I'm like, for what,
why my shit is load bearing? You just for fun?
Doing everything? All right? You looked like I looked as
a child. Then then then there's a reason for it.
You look like this. I don't understand what the point is.
But Sydney Washington and are here because we love them.
(14:10):
But they're also here because they have a new podcast
called Mess. It's a weekly podcast where they dive into
miss and they try to make it make sense. Uh
they are hilarious and uh you can hear it every week.
And after you're done with this, gonna press play on
some Miss. If you like Mess, like I like Miss,
(14:31):
and I like Miss likes Sydney and Marie. How are y'all?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well, it's crazy that you say that we're so hot,
but it's like, h are you talking about yourself? You're
hot too, you and your perfect skin and all your
edges and your teeth those teeth you.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Yeah, edges and teeth.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
We're very bad. Oh but what I feel like they're
going to say, you know, I just woke up like this,
you know, world, and they probably did. They probably probably look,
this is how I slip on my time. So but
what makes me mad is you still look amazing. So
don't even go there, because if y'all saw me wake
(15:21):
up this morning, it is ever I see each other
every morning, and whoever says something carerible about the first
person right away, we crack up because well, we'll do
the FaceTime and then one of us goes, we have
to do that. Well, it's really bad.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I was gonna say, Marie famously looks amazing when she
wakes up. When I am not a morning person. I
am Oscar the grouch, the wigg ist, flipped the crust
in my eyes, breath is hot, like I'm not sexy
in the morning. So this is definitely set in earlier. Today,
I'm just saying I have eyeshadow. One guys, no as
(16:00):
I shut on except me.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, I have some. Marie, you're muted. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
There was an ambulance or a fire truck driving.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
By ambulamps to be respectful, I said, well, let me
let them die quietly.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
York Marie.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
You know, I'm such a New Yorker that I went
to Denver once and the silence was so loud at
night that I couldn't sleep because the crickets were screaming.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And crickets will get you.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I said, why did be so loud out there?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
But I needed it?
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Siren?
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah yeah, people breaking up outside your window.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
That really just puts me.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
It was kind of up the street from like a
late night well this apartment used to be my apartment
from this late night, late late lake club, and people
would walk down the street drunk every Friday and Saturday
night at like three in the morning. So I would say,
like once a month, someone would be right here and
(17:11):
it would be a good ass fight.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You get up and go back, run one of them
like you and then being right here and it'd be beautiful.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
One time, a car pulled up, the children got out
of the car. Each child fought a different child. They
all three back in the car and drove away.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, people in the car fought each other.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
They parked the car, got out and fought one another
and then go back in the car.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
It's caught on time for everybody to fight.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
They fought it out. Yeah, because they got back in
that car. They worked it out. And I'm okay with that. Well,
I feel like it was true.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
What it means is they they knew that not all
of them had transportation to the fight, and they said,
you know what, since we all go in the same way,
let's I want to stick a cab.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Those were men, and I know they were all men. Yeah,
it's all men.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Now it feels that feels like old school New York
where people just like challenge each other to like a fight,
and then you know whoever won, then you walk away.
There's no getting online, going live.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Now it's viral.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
It's like wait, wait, wait, let me get my tripod
before y'all start boxing. It's like, yeah, I just want
a good fight, and then everybody goes home.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I thank the Lord every day for my age because
I was out there being insane. My goodness, if someone
had one minute of video for any moment from seventeen
to I'm gonna say twenty seven, what were you doing
for those ten years?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I want to know. I need to know.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I was wild, motherfucker? What was I doing? Yes, I
did it? Ever was in the street, Yes, And I
was in the streets.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Were fighting in the streets?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Whoa a little bit because if you used to be
I mean, now I'm I'm sleepy and no one's testing me.
But it used to be if you grab my I
would beat your ass. Now that's if.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You would grab my butter, I would beat you up.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
And the thing I would do is if a guy
would grab my butt.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Why were so many guys grabbing my butt? Grabbing my butt? Yeah,
people grab us and then they would like kind of
like run or be like and then I'd be like, oh,
come here, then talk to me, and they get close
enough and i'd him in the balls. Then they fall
to the ground and I kicked them until I got tired.
I stepped out.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
You were in the Queen La Tea for You and
I t y video.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
She was in the music video.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
She invented the video.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Camber. This is wild because.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I always see you like kind of like in a
like a blaze or a situation.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Your butt is usually covered.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Let me your butt.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Are you covering your butt because you always got grabbed?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
No, I'm covering my butt because I fell out of
love with it. But used to be used to be.
You couldn't get no clothes on me. Baby belly, Wait,
lazy lay, is this true? I need photosus belly was
out out. I need to see a photo. I need
(20:28):
a TV.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, we need photos immediately.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'll find one. I mean, you're cleaning out this apartment.
I'm going to find an old photo. Let's show with you. Man.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I was we got it because because Amber, now you're
just like turtleneck clean covered up.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
You're just maybe don't want to show something, right.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
I don't think i've ever even seen your elbows or cloud.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Was the best private that's between me and the lord,
it was socially acceptable to talk to you from inside
of a bag where I could just put my head
out of it. That's what I would do. I would
do it every day. I don't need it. And it's wild.
It's wild.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
How you guys both, I mean obviously your sisters you
have the same face.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yeah, yeah, very similar faces.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I will say this every day when I wake up,
I look more and more like our brother every day
that your mother brother, I look like Jimmy. All look
like Jimmy. Jimmy.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Jimmy is a hottie. Obviously. If if this is if
everybody is the same.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Thought but like italic and like bold, I'm sure Jimmy
is is sexy.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
It we are the same font cute.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
We all got big stupid eyes.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
Big guys are in you know, the girl's get surgery
to get their eyes like, how you do I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Okay, Well, first of all, there's like the fox. There's
the fox surgery, the fox eye surgery where they pin
like the hair pinned, like your hairline back a little
bit and that pools your eyes so that it looks
more So.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I was just about to say.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Like Murray, I don't know if Christina Aguilera and Nancy
Lohan has got it, but they look incredible.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They look great.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
Allegedly, they're saying it's a face lift and that's what
the girls need to get.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
They need to get a facelift or they.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Need to do everything at once, and they shouldn't like
space everything out. But they look well rested, they look obviously,
they look like they have money, because they do. And
it just looks like they look younger than they did
when they were younger. It's insane.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
Christina Aguilera looks like when she first came out. Yep, absolutely,
and she's I don't know how she is, but she
that's a grown lady.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
She's too right.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
And Lindsay Lohan, I don't, I don't know what she did.
She she sacrificed the lamb or a small child or something,
but Lindsey bounced back in a way that I'm like, okay,
this is freaky Friday.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Well there's a there is a meme. There was a meme.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Yesterday that said, oh, this is what sobriety does and
then everybody was.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Like, stop that, stop that narrative.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
That's a lie.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
She's she's a millionaire, she's famous. That's what you cannot
promote sobriety, sobriety in that way.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Because because I'm sober, but I'm exhausted, Like I would
love whatever. Lindsay, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
You don't look tired.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Oh well, I just feel tired.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I'm like, can I get a facelift for my spirit
and for like my energy, And we would be like,
it's vitamins, it's water, it's it's not eating McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
That's all you need to stop doing.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's too much.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Yes, looks amazing. Sydney could be a spokesperson for Popeyes.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Oh no, I stopped from when I allegedly got food
poisoning from it, like six.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Seven months ago. I stopped. I haven't had a since.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Oh I said enough.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I said enough is enough?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Is enough?
Speaker 3 (24:24):
On my watch, I'm not on my butt like I was, like,
I'm done. I don't want to be sick. No more.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I haven't had McDonald's in seven hundred years. I have
had every day I wanted more than the day before.
Oh not even fries. No, No, because I know it's
a slippery slope. I have to it's over. Did you
just have Popeyes and you have a bag of McDonald's
(24:52):
behind you. I do not lie. I do not lie.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I said I did not.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I did not have Popeyes, but I did have a
fish filet the other night. I'm sorry, extra chargers, extra
charge stars, these faces?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What is going on?
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I think I've.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Had a McDonald I think I've had one filet o
fish my entire life.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
What's she ordered? Fish filet? I love it. I'm what's
wrong with it? It's it's thinley fried. You know, I'm
about to confess to something and I can never see this.
I don't only ever, ever ever said this.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I don't want to be there.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
One time, when we were little, my dad went and
got everybody something from McDonald's and he's passing it out.
He's passing out the hamburgers and he hands me a
fucking fish filet. You eight years old, don't nobody want
no fish file at? No? And I eededly start crying
and he goes, you bet you better eat that fith
(25:51):
So then you got well, what did he get right?
Everybody got like burgers, but I think there was a mistake.
So he just handed lace Lacey going this fishful at
and it was you know, it's in the box. And
I remember going faking it okay, and I took it
to my room and I just crushed it. You didn't
(26:11):
need a listen. I didn't eat that. I didn't eat
that I was. I went hungry, but satisfied that I
crushed that fucker up and go eat that. Didn't go
make me eat that fin.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Nemo didn't do anything to you, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That's Amber knows. Everybody in the house would have got
a spanking if that was found out. What did you
get that order? What was what was your You got
t got a Hamburger fries like I wanted me out
the fish for lef come past, be the.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Fish for life.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I don't understand. I felt. I felt like sweet revenge
for crushing it up, but I also was hungry wasting food.
What a dame did you get it? I don't think so.
I just think I got the dang I don't even
remember but that There's no way you didn't get fresh
fish fish fish.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
You didn't fish fish.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I didn't do fish sandwiches like that McDonald's. No.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
No, I guess I'm an alien and you're trying to
get food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You're trying to get it again fish McDonald's.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
I have never gotten sand from a fish filet. I'll
tell you, I.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Will, I will.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's a hell. I'll die on whatever fish they got
is fresh over there? Anything else, fish whatever, whatever.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Those frosties in the in the chicken, those are not fresh.
It's the fish. I will stand by the fish.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
How is the beer fresh? How is the fish fresh?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Is? If no one is buying it? You can you
get fish? You get a fish from nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
They want to crushed up. This is how much my
mom loves filet a fish sandwich. She one year came
up allergic to all foods except for lamb, rice, salt,
and butter. I want to say something like that, something
that like together kind of made a meal, and she
(28:02):
kept having to go to the hospital. And you know,
then we didn't know what. We just knew she couldn't
eat most things. So then once they found out, okay,
also you can't eat fish, she just got a bunch
of epipins. And then one time she pulled up in
the car and we were outside and we looked at
(28:23):
her and she just looks at us and goes, we go, mom,
what's wrong? And she goes fish sandwich and she had
the EpiPen and she had the fish sandwich, and she
was like, that's what it's worth. It's worth that, it's
worth it, it's worth.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
I'm not mad at your mom. That's something I would
do if sandwich. If I was allergic to fast food, you,
I would have to stalk up. I would have to
get the Family Value Plan of EpiPens because I'm a need.
I love like a little like nugget from Wendy's. I
love a sausage biscuit from McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I love I love a Taco Supreme from Taco Bell.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Todream withpos I haven't.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I haven't had Taco Bell in years. Wow, I need
Taco Bell tonight. Thank you, Amber.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Amber loves Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
I love Taco Bell. Let me get to drinks in.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Taco Bell, to go to Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Taco Bell is like Mexican White Castle.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
It's all you. You want to be things.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Do you want to fight? You want to box? Don't
you talk about my belt like that?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
I need you have to go.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
T Bell.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I just feel like life is sure and yes, I
could eat better, yes, and you know I think that
I eventually it's coming.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's coming.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
So so because I'm just so, I'm much more sensitive
to things.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
But I'm like, you want what you want when you wanted.
Who are we holding back for?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I can I have to I have to eat.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
I have to eat trash sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes I
run some time.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Sometimes you lie.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
I like it, Thank you, I appreciate it. I really
have to live live, you know, crazy on this call. Yeah,
I have to live crazy on this call. And it's clear,
it's clearly not y'all.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Tacoil is crazy. Yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
I'm not smoking weed. I'm not doing party goods. I
can't even have you know.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Don Julio, So what do I do? Don't tell me
what to do? You know what, live your life because
I can do drugs.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I will have some tequila.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
I might even eat the worm, so you know, I'm
not gonna eat the worm.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Like what just did that out there? I feel like
I like the thought of the worm and the tequila
because it's a built in dare and I like that.
I like that. So you have to eat it if
you if it falls in your cup, I don't know,
I think, so you have to right, just eat the Wormyamber.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
I want to know this, this other you because you
you say, I mean this. I just can't see past
you know the Blazer. Past the Blazer is your new book.
Beyond Me, Beyond the Blazer, Beyond.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
The Blaze, be on this for you. I was such
a wild child because I did a theater called Boom
Chicago and Amster, and that's where I was socialized. I
was socialized in Amsterdam at a theater. They had a
bar in it. I was a madman.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I never I've never been to Amsterdam. Lacy, have you been?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I have. I went to visit her and see the
show's we were on Amsterdam.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I heard they're shutting the borders down because there's too
many tourists over there.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
What we hold up?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
What's the problem?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Too many tourists going there to be like I'm gonna
be I oh, red light district titties like they said,
uh uh, y'all blocking the bike lanes.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Get them out of here. It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, And Amsterdam is this big. So you got three
people in Amsterdam, it's two.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Let me get on over there.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
I need to get on over there, because I, you know,
I just feel like I want to travel more, and
I want to go to the places where they accept
you know, amazing free black women. And you know I
want good food and good vibes and good music.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Get any good.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
You're not getting no, no.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
No for you.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I think you're thinking of Portugal.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
M Portugal is where all the black women are recently
moving to. Okay, so are we taking a girl's trip?
Are we going to Portugal? No? Wait, let's stop. Let's
what are we doing? What are we doing? Where were you?
Black men? At you? I see y'all all that I
(33:32):
can see y'all all any time. Where are y'all? I
just broke up with all of y'all? Where are I'm
sticking as hell? Then dead? You someone huscular? Walt By huscular?
That's my tight what's huscular? It's when you like Bill,
but you got a little got a little weight on you.
You'll need to take all your weight off. You got
(33:53):
a little weight on you to.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Be like cut.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I need you to be big. Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You know what I described that.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
I describe a man like that as somebody that like
if he lays on you, you go like like that
breath comes out of your body because he's.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
He's got mad of weight. I don't need you to
have a smaller waist than me. We don't have a problem.
I don't carry you on my hip like a toddler. No,
I can't have not a batitue boo. No oh No,
you don't want a guy that.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
You can put in a baby beorn and Melca bub babyby.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
No man looking for anyway back to where people write us?
Where about the black man going on vacation? And are
they looking for us? What's going on? You know about
the passport bros.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Or you talk about somebody else?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I don't know. I don't know. You know what?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Lay? I feel like I feel like you know what? Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
So if yeah, if you know where the black men are,
tell us and if you are a black man, quit hiding.
Come on.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Mama's kitchen, okay, Lacy, I will tell you if you go.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
If you go to an afrobeats party, that's where they're at.
A lot of them are there.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Di You know, I was in an African dance troop.
I was in an African dance troop for years and
Trump African dance troop is not Afro, maam No. But
we went to Afro. We went to the parties. Okay, yeah, yeah,
that wasn't it. Okay, Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Lacey, we have to go to the break. Can you
do it too?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Everyone hold on to your butts. As Amber says, we
are taking a small break and we won't be right
back with the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Hey, everybody,
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacey Lacy
(35:55):
and Amber Show. It's time for something called please slide
out with Lacey's DMS. It's where we read actually am
sent to Lacey, who is a real person, by real people.
She reads them out loud and the hopes that you
won't make the same mistake. Okay, so my first one
and I talked to Amber yesterday. Maybe we had about
twenty phone calls and I'm not lying. And I held
this one in because I wanted to say it fresh
(36:18):
to her on the show. This might be my best
and favorite response that I'm going to be doing now
from now. And so a man sent me a dick
pic and said, good morning, I'm wide awake. So I said, wow,
I'm really turned on, and I sent him a bigger
dick pic. That's what I will wait here than a
(36:46):
guy wait who's bigger dick? Did? You said? Got it? Also?
You know where? But I just got it. I'm sorry
I didn't have it. I googled it. Yeah, okay, I
want Then I got it from my mom's in the
next room. It from some born inside, but I got it.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
My god, A win is a win. Win is a win.
It's not your mom's in the next room, and you
still got a whisper.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You girl, this is your own you whisper your address? No,
this is my I'm staying at my parents' house. Okay,
but then you know what I was my house? Hit
her on the pod. Don't matter even if it was
my house, my mom, I'm flying here. What about let
me send her your address? Your address? You ain't gonna do.
(37:33):
I will not open the door.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I won't open the door. Don't.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I don't want to be crafty. She'll be like, she's crafty.
I made you some food. You want to open that door.
She'll be like, you know what, be so cute?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah, now you got give you the face she receiving.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
So that's my favorite response. I will always have that.
I'm going to save that pick and send it to people,
and they send me one. You're more than welcome to
copy this. It works. That man left me alone. Okay.
The second one is now, I love honesty. This man
said I got cord in three days. Let's speak now
because I'm definitely going away. Hurry up, hurry this up.
(38:21):
I didn't respond to that. I start that he ain't
writing me asking me to put money on his books,
but a wish.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
It feels like like he's like, I got he said,
if I had.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
One wish, it.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Let him make his wish.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, he can make it all he wants to. But
this MM, but I did like his honesty, and I
believed every word that he said. He was really He's like, yeah,
who's out there, who's going to respond to this?
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And you know what, I think what's so amazing about
straight men is that they take a lot of risks
and they're never ashamed.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
And they said, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Put it out there.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
And meanwhile, we are kind of like, well, let me
put this in the group chat.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Does this make sense?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
Let me, you know, craft something really witty and something
that doesn't look so desperate. Meanwhile, men are like, no,
I am desperate and I'm going to jail.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
What's up?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
Yeah, they're like, i'mn't even say They don't even say
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
I think they just say it, say it. Yeah, they
don't even repeat that.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I somebody might respond to that. Got to be mean.
But if he sends that out to fifty women, he
might get a response. Oh he is for sure might
get a response.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Was the odds? Yeah? Was he cute?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
He was cute.
Speaker 4 (39:46):
He was cute.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
That's why I was like, somebody is gonna be like,
well it's been a while. They're gonna respond to him. Okay,
this last one, yeah, okay, this man said I would
love to give you corn rows? Can you cook? Now
you all are picturing, I know who you're picturing to
(40:09):
ask me that I would love to give you corner.
I mean, he wants me to sit down and he's
braiding my hair. Then he's asking me if I can
make him some greens. The message isn't funny, and I'm
gonna show you the picture and I need it to
not be on the pot. Don't don't show this during
the clip.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
I'm gonna blur it out. We're gonna show it during
the clute.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Oh, do anything, you gotta drop.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
It and drop it in the chat.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Okay, but you can see I love. I wish you
could see it better. I saw it.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
I would love to give you corn rows from corner
Braids by Bradley, Braids by.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Brad What is his name? What is his name? Does
he have a stringy bang? His name is Bradley.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
It looks like a stringy short bang, cornering Mary.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
His name Devon d He probably pronounces it Devin. But
I was like, so is it Davon? Is it trying
to tell me his name is Damon? I bet you
guys think I'm lying. You guys think I'm lying you. Oh,
you can't see the name, But Devin Davion, it's Devin.
(41:23):
We don't call him Dine, know Davon.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
If he had a postular in being the d then
it would be day ball David.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Sir, you're not doing that. You're not You're not even
not even hoskular. Girl. Here, he weighs thirty five pounds.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
You're not gonna give him no time. Damn. It's strict
over here. It's strict.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
It's real strict, Lacy, Yeah it is, girl, I'm not
doing this. This is insane. This is a little bit strict,
but you know what's even stricter. Sister Court. Hey, everybody,
the Sister Court. Sister Court is where our listeners right
in the problems that they need advice on. You can
(42:03):
write into Amber and Lacey Advice at gmail dot com.
Now its Sister Court. Lacey is the prosecutor prosecutor. I'm
the other part electrocute defend.
Speaker 6 (42:22):
The Amber knows law, yes, but our judges today, so
Lacey and I will battle it out to see who's
right about Sister Court.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
But what we say doesn't matter because we have two
judges here with us today, Judge Sydney and Judge Marie.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Let's hear our first case, Lisy, want to read it?
Speaker 2 (42:44):
I sure Will is giving cash as a Christmas gift tacky.
I never know what to give my niece, so I
was just going to give her some cash for Christmas,
but then my wife said it was tacky and I
should be giving her something more meaningful. But I'm afraid
I'll screw up and give her something wrong. So what
do you think it's giving some is giving her some
cash okay? Or do I actually have to buy her something?
(43:04):
Give met you'all some cash? She don't care. What the
fuck how old is the babe money? We don't have
the age. Give him, give him some money. I'll give
the baby. It doesn't matter two months old, I think.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Well, I mean cash for like a teen and up. Absolutely,
But for a baby, you get a baby like a book,
You get a baby them some little pink uggs or
something like.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
You don't have to do nothing crazy for the baby.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
The cash is going to go to the mom.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, we get the cash.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Cash for Moms is a is a new site that
I'm building and if you all you have to do
is send me the cash and I'll make sure that
the moms will get it.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Seven Cash for Moms.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Cash for the number four.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
That's a letter four.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
I think cash is good because it's not like it's
not going to get used. I think there is a
there's a small place in everybody's home where people just
throw gifts that they're just not going to use. Ever,
they can't return it because they don't have the gift
for seed, or they waited too long.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
So it's just like you can never get mad at cash.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
You're like, I'm gonna need this for something either a
just kill either the phone bill, I.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Get my nails done or something like.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
But it is.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
It is thoughtful when you do get somebody gift that
they need it and then you see them with it.
But other than that, it's just like, stop wasting your
money on stuff that people are not gonna use.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Cash. I do not care about that. Candle. Drop cash,
Give me the cash. You don't care about no candles.
Take the child to the all, be like, here's some money,
and now you can go spend it, and then take
the and then get yourself for Arne Julius and follow
this child around the mall. That's what the child wants.
(44:51):
What's the Orange Julius?
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Oh my god, I didn't know what that was. What
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Do they not have Arn's Julius in New York? Is
that basketball? That is it? That is a drink place
in the mall. You get shakes, you get a little snacks. Well,
we don't signature drink. Was the Orange Julius?
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Orange?
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Everywhere there was an Orange Julius. It's now Orange Julius
and Dairy Queen because I think they're owned by the
same something.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
So so that's the type of the type of food
I think we have.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Just time for one more, Just time for one more?
One more? Do you want me to read it? I'll
read it. I'll read it. I'll read it. Family is
complaining that my holiday dinner is not a pot. Look,
I'm hosting a holiday dinner for about thirty with many
people coming in from out of town. Since people are traveling,
I've told everyone not worry about bringing anything. But people
are upset, saying that they want to bring something or
(45:53):
that it's too much for me. But I planned on
cooking everything because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by
making them travel. It's food? What should I do? Sound
like she can't cook food?
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Yeah, truly.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Now they might be asking if they can bring food
because they think you can't cook.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Either way, let people bring food. Who gives a shit?
You gotta control all the food. People gets.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
People, people have their cats all over the counters. No, no, no, no,
that's true. See, I'm not here for I'm not here
for thirty people bringing bringing food, thirty different people.
Speaker 4 (46:28):
No thirty dishes. You know you have thirty minutes? No thirty,
I don't I don't want thirty. I don't want thirty people.
I don't want thirty people bringing stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, but I don't know what you do in a kitchen.
If our greens gonna be there, you might decide you
don't want greens. And now I gotta suffer. I'm bringing
my greens. Okay, judge, and I'm sorry you are the judge. Also,
you know who? Everybody know who dirty? Everybody know cousin
Sharon is dirty. And I want to hear food. One time.
My mom is in the next room. I'm sure she
can hear me. One time, my brother had this little
(46:58):
girlfriend and she came to us, had a whole tray
or something. My mom took the tray, threw that as
ship in the trash. She threw it in the front,
but she couldn't find it. Food time came gone, I
need you bring your food to my mom and dad's house.
Bring your food around here. Bring for real. She did
(47:18):
that in the trash.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Okay, Yeah, she shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Don't bring shouldn't have done it. It was wrong, but no
one was going to eat. Do you know do you
remember when the dish was that? She was some type
of dessert and I'll never remember. It was like marshmallows.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Yeah, it was yellow, is it yellow with the marshmallows.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Definitely could have been. Oh we did a little everybody.
It could have been. It could have been, but it wasn't.
I'm gonna do a little secret, guys. It wasn't a
blood dish.
Speaker 5 (47:49):
Oh girl, when you send your your brother bought a
girl home, I.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Already knew you know, you knew that you are. You
are Nebraska.
Speaker 7 (48:00):
We Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy for you can We're like containing her,
can't find it, it's gone, Yo.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Your mother didn't even clean the pan out.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
She threw the whole pan in the trash.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
She threw it into the trash. No one has ever
in the history of America brought food to mom and
Dad's house. I know, bringing gives a very strict speech.
Don't bring none in here, don't bring nothe in here.
I tell people, don't bringing it to my mom's house.
I love your mom. So my black friend's black friends, No, don't.
Speaker 5 (48:35):
Your mother sounds like my mother, except my aunt will
bring food and she is bringing food again for Thanksgiving,
and they judge each other's food. So my aunt will
be eating something my mom cooking. She'd be like, it's
not really giving. And then my mom will eat something
and my aunt thought and she'd be like, why it.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Look like that?
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Oh wait, I need to come for Thanksgiving. This sounds
fun just giving entertainment.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Yeah, it's crazy and that's okay. Christmas at our houses,
so everyone Merry Christmas from our family. Yours were now
one family. Now, oh my god, wouldn't that be fun?
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Loud that.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Holidays?
Speaker 5 (49:21):
Our separate families are already loud, so we would be
loud loud with distinction.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
You know what's loud is a new podcast on iHeartMedia
called Mess by Washington and Murray Fauston. It's the podcast
you're about to press play on now. It's hilarious and
it's also adorable. Now you can find me online at
Amber Ruff and I Bet across all socials. You can
(49:50):
find Lacey at Lacey Lamar one across all socials. The
one is because she forgot she had Lacey Lamar made
a new one, remembered that the old one was indeed
her couldn't find the password. Sydney and Marie, where can
we find you? On that? They see you forgot your
passwords to your dad? One? Two I tried. I tried
(50:12):
to hire someone to get in. They couldn't do it. It's
just that it's out. They're floating around. You want to
talk to Because I'm known now, I don't know how
to get in there.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Wait, what about the recovery email?
Speaker 2 (50:24):
Nothing.
Speaker 8 (50:26):
I hired a person they could not get in too.
My instigrael I got two, I got two. I got
like that song two chains and two phones.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
I got two. I got to Well, not about me.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
I'm not locked out of my social media.
Speaker 5 (50:44):
You go find me at reezi r e e e
z y so R three e c y and you
can come see me at Why Are You Single?
Speaker 3 (50:53):
The dating game.
Speaker 5 (50:54):
Show that our host obviously come find me on mess Yes,
they say, next time you're in.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
New York, I'm there.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I'm there, the perfect match, perfect match.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
If I don't fall in love between now and then,
oh okay, I'll find you.
Speaker 4 (51:11):
Yes, mine is just said BW j usd s y
d BW and I have a solo show called how
to Certifier, and I usually do it at Union Hall.
So whenever I post that, because I'm bad at promoting,
please come heayy.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Merry Christmas to all and Tula good night. Thanks for
tuning in to the Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show.
I'm sorry, I said tune in. That's not really how
technology works anymore. It Marry Christmas. The Amber and Lacy
(51:53):
Lacy and Amber Show is a production by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and hosted
by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. Executive produced by Noah
Avoar and Hans Sni. Super produced by Becca Raimos. Because
She's a Superhero co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and
mixed by Ty Herd. Music by David schmol
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