February 14, 2024 • 45 mins
Amber won't admit it, but you know she's sad when Lacey is out of town, especially when there's no one to handle a bug attack! Do you think Amber and Lacey should have a birthday cake competition? Their guest is Matt Goldich, Amber’s buddy from the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers room. Matt has a new comedy special out called No Questions Asked. They bring back the game 'Can You Stand It', revealing who wants daily flowers, who's splitting wine at The Good Good, and who is likely to have a cheesecake themed romance. But wait, there's more! The sisters go to court and duel over financial advice, where Judge Goldich holds the power to declare who has the strongest case. Finally, they wrap it all up with ranking the top 3 things about Rockefeller Center, the iconic backdrop to Late Night with Seth Meyers.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
We're Amber and Lacey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If you really must know, Lacy is the best part
of the darn show. It's really it's the Amber and Lacy,
Lacey and Amber show.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, I got more fan mail today. I'm how they
found me in a lot, but I got more fan
mail saying you don't even live at the building. More
fan mail saying I'm the best part of the show.
And you know what I hand wrote back to everyone
in caligraphy. I know that's what it is. That's what justgraphy.
I don't know that anyone wants to receive it. Chocolate
(00:35):
piece of just one good div of chocolate back to
the people. What it loves the chocolate mail piece of
div of chocolate Lacy. I don't know, cause you gotta
appreciate doing people. That's what they want. They want me
and they want chocolate. They kind of got you can't
help me without wanting chocolate? Where horrible? Hey, everybody, welcome
(00:58):
to the Ember and Lacey, Lacy and Never show, the
show that dares to ask what y'all doing over there
today show. Our guest is my friend from work. He's
a comedian and he writes for everything including Late Night
with Seth Myers.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
He also has his own stand up special. His name
is Matthew gold Lacey.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yes, what the what is going Amber? I'm getting stressed
out down to the wire, guys, I'm turning my home
into I'm gonna say airbnb, but technically it's not an Airbnb.
It's more like the corporate housing where they're going to
be staying in it a longer time. Anyone that has
done this, please call Amber and ask her, like, what
(01:46):
what do I need to finish this?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Now?
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I just have a lot of stuff that I have
to do because I have to make it back to
New York time for birthday party Amber.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Because we're silly.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, but it's two big birthdays. It's forty five and fifty.
Everybody that means she is way bigger than hers. She
keeps saying two big birthdays because she wants to.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Have a party. Nobody cares about forty five.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hey, I care, it's happening to me none, Okay, I
mean I didn't agree with you till you're saying it.
And now let's just say a love lord. Oh but
more importantly, what are we gonna wear to the party?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I see?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh my god, I never even thought of that ship.
I know I'm gonna have a tiara, just letting you
know you're gonna have a tiara for birthday party. Yeah,
and maybe a h feather boa with an evening.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Can you bring that? Bring that back with you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Maybe sequence because you know now that I'm of a
certain age, sequence is a staple. Yeah, that looks great.
Maybe we both need one.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Maybe. Okay, it's possible. You don't even have to make
up on you have that on all side.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
You're jazzed up because look at you in that nasty
ass muppet jacket. She always makes fun that thing. But
now we look good. Once a week, you look good.
It's jazz.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I have five outfits. This is one of people not
trying to not trying to win any outfit contests. Guys,
I couldn't. I couldn't even name outfitt ouch fist outfit contests. Yeah,
am I winning that?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
You would lose? Not a thing I really wanted to
win it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
This week is a little bit fun, guys, because laces
out of town.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
What you're sad and you're crying?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Hey cry, guys. I wake up every morning and I
cry so many tears.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I go lazy.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Lazy, but I did see a bug. I was like, dig,
tell them who gets the bug? Lazy gets the books,
I get the bugs. Well, I kind of am, but
i've he's not a scare as Amber. She's a whim.
I'm not a whim, only above certain bugs. Why the
cutest bug in the world. It's not a real ladybug.
It's like the Japanese beetle. Yeah, but it looks just
(04:13):
like a ladybug.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Everyone. This woman will cry real tears if it comes.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I don't like him because he infested my house. Yeah,
and then I got so mad, And then it really
made me understand that.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
The world was unfair.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So every time I see one of those, that's what
it represents. Is there any home in the United States
that is not infested with these ladybugs? I came home,
I guess who opened the door and greeted me. I
was like, what in the world these beetles are everywhere?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I was so mad.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I was like, I just left Amber's house. How dare
you set up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Camp in here?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, all my friends say there's everywhere you can't get
rid of them.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I believe that. I don't know what to do with that.
I do not know what to do.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But since we are on our podcast right now, let's
discuss are we making our own birthday cakes?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yeah, guys, this is what's something we really need to
talk about. So I think we should and we will
post it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We're going to post it everybody.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I think Lacy and I should really take a big
swing at making a fancy birthday cake each of us. Yeah,
and then have a contest.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I need everyone to know that mine is going to
be more beautiful than ambers. Everybody already knows it's true.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
It's not true. Did you say it's not true? Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I can decorate a cake, and I can make the
most beautiful pie designs. I hate pie, but I can
make a gorgeous pie too, so you can't beat me.
You're going to look if you added all of the
cakes you've ever made and all of the cakes I've
ever made, it wouldn't be a quarter. What are you
talking about. I've been making them shits, just to be
eaten them. There's no way you have baked more cake
(06:00):
to me. If this woman is hilarious, I used to
make the cake every weekend. Ask ask your mother made cakes?
All the time decorated these chocolate cakes beautif sun today.
I don't know where because I was at the house
doing that. Where were you at the house? No, you
didn't all these years when I lived by myself in
my twenties and didn't know how to behathe I was
(06:22):
in my apartment.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I still don't think you'd been baking.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Listen, let the best king when we die, let's get
to heaven, and asked the Lord, and he will tell you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And you're gonna ask you know what he's gonna do.
And I don't. I don't condone this. He's gonna slap
my face.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Sit down, Lacy arives here, and he's gonna crown me cake.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
He is, yeah, and have been slapped by the Lord.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh girl, stop talking now, slap your whole face off.
And you and he told me talk about slapping. You
cocked that so far way back. Someone you've got to
reach all.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
You're not a good slapper. I don't. It's too much effort.
I don't like the person. I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't want to expend a bunch of effort trying
to slap. Listen, you're gonna get slap, make it step up.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Thelert's not gonna slap me. He loves me too much,
and he told me that in a text. Oh did
he jesus be texting me? Okay, they only text people
they don't like. I went to dinner with both of them,
to Mantra. Yeah, Jesus, he is black, So I know
for a fact you went to Mantras.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
You know I went to Mantra. That girl loves Mantra.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
I do.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I love it so much.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Mantra is a restaurant in Omaha, Nebraska, and it's in
our favorite neighborhood, Benson. Guys, there isn't a place in
Benson that I don't absolutely adore.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, we love it. It loves Lacy.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
When we come back, you're going to meet my friend
from More, comedian and writer for Late Night with Seth Myers,
Matthew Goldich, Everybody, stay juned. Hey, everybody, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
To the amor Lacy Lacy Camera Show.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
We are very excited to be able to hang out
outside of the writer's room because we found someone that
we love. Is this very talented and funny comedian. His
new special No Questions Asked, is available on YouTube since yesterday.
Let's give him a warm welcome. Welcome Matt Goldige gold.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Yay, bye, guys yy. I'm so excited to be here
with you all. I really appreciate you having me on.
I have I have to tell you what a special
moment this is for me because obviously Amber, we've known
each other for many years, Lacey shorter period of time. However,
(09:09):
I would say since my first child was born almost
nine years ago, I've probably read five books totally, and
I would say that two of them two of them
by you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
So yes, yes, very proud.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
And I don't like books, as I've made very clear.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well with babies. Okay, you have a baby, you got
to get this book. Yes, all right, I love it. No, guys,
the Amber Lacy Lacy and Amber show does not in
any way endorse especially.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's a great lullaby.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
Especially the hard bag. You know, if they misbehave damn everybody.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
So you know.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You worked hard on your special. There was a reason
why I like this guy. I feel like the cut
of your jib.
Speaker 6 (10:07):
I don't even know I had a jib. I mean
I did, I did a lot. I feel I'm so
happy it's over. I don't it's I mean, I did
this show every night for two and a half weeks
and in Scotland this summer, and we did leading up
to it, and then when it was done, I just
wanted to collapse. I wanted to an exhaustion. But it
(10:30):
was I think it, you know, I think it came
out Okay. The bar is very the bar is very low.
I want to embarrass myself.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You know how I behave except I like to go.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I want to feel a little bit embarrassed at all today,
and that's how I roll. I don't want it to
get too embarrassing, but I should always feel just a
little bit embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Yes, Well, if you're the type of person who is
not embarrassed putting yourself out in front of people, little problem,
right like if you're if it's not a tiny bit embarrassing,
your beautiful problem with you on?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
You're inside, you didn't know, you did not know.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Or you're anyone under thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Remember those years? I think that all the freaking time.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I'm always thinking someone gets popped for something.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I go.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Have I ever said anything like that in an improv
comedy show?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And fucking the year two thousand and one I mean,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I said all kinds of weld shit could have been me.
My point is I've never said or done anything bad. Yeah,
that's right. Once you get a suggestion, you're absolved. It's
the suggestion's fault.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
I don't If it's in an improv, it doesn't count.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
And you can tell that by looking at how unkempt
any improviser.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Is.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
The rules of improvs supersede the rules of society.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh, I'll cuss out your child exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I once saw Amber at an improv show cuss out
a child. That's out a little boy when I was
in Amsterdam. Yea, he was acting stupid and crazy and said,
but I could have been was like, listen, you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Could have been a job and I do not care.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But also because cuss words.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Just don't that mean as much.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I was going to say, you know, and like children
say like ship and stuff because it doesn't have any
weight because it's not your first language. So like, if
you're watching Bart Simpson and the subtitles, he says like ship,
but he's not saying that because you can't do that
(12:47):
on TV here anyway. The point is, I'll cuss out
your child matt Today, we're.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
That's like your version of Cameo.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Sorry, guys, I don't like him. I don't want to
be honest, but I will cuss out your child.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
They need it. Guys.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Today we're pulling out this segment called kid You sid It.
It's where we inform our wonderful audience about something that
we've fallen in love with lately. And I Amber Mildred
Ruffin do solemnly swear to not bring up the cheesecake
victory again. Okay, anyway, Lacey Matthew, think about something that
(13:25):
you absolutely adore, that has happened to you, that you saw,
that you smell, that you felt recently, and that you
feel like the world needs to know about lace.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
You can do it, but and I believe in you.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I am going to say. And Amber is totally against
this because I don't know something happened to her. I
was watching one of the kids calling in today at
TikTok and they were talking about this is anyone can
do this, but people are doing this for themselves a daily,
(14:01):
not weekly, not monthly. You get a daily bouquet of
flowers send to you yourself A little message. I don't like,
do I feel like a man should be sending these
to make sure. Would I do it?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
But because I live with Amber, she throw them right
in the trash. She hates plants. What I mean, daily
is too many, and maybe daily is probably too much.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
People are doing that.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
I don't weekly just I've ever heard this before, But Amber,
you don't like flowers? Is this true?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I love flowers, and I think everyone should receive flowers.
I love them.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I don't want plants living in my home going everywhere.
I don't want like a fern. But if someone says
I love.
Speaker 6 (14:45):
Them, as someone sent you a plant before, as like
a thank you for hosting something, and you were just like,
absolutely not, this is this is not.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I wouldn't even remember if they had, because it would
have so immediately gone into the trash.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I very hate.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I don't like it. That's like, will you give me
a tiny obligation eat ship? Oh fucking take care of
this thing. You may be a tiny daily appointment every day.
I gotta give this thing water, No fucking way, yuck.
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Anti botany, we call you your anti can't.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I'm anti everyone? Do you see what I'm living with? People?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You hate this for a second reason, because I love it.
That's a waste of money. Sending yourself flowers every day
is a waste of money. I don't like that. I
don't like the thought of it. That's too many flowers.
And if you love yourself, use your words. Damn, you
can't send yourself.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Flowers every day.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I don't like a lot?
Speaker 6 (15:40):
Will I agree?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Every day? That's a lot. I want too many.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Let's normalize sending yourself flowers.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I want to see this too. Not greedy, that is.
And one puppy. That's it.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
What that's going to start to pile up. It's a
good Sorry, it's gonna get almost instantly out of control.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Amber's garbage is just going to be overflowing at this point.
If you she has to throw out flowers and a puppy.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I don't want no babies. No oh I mean yeah, yeah,
I get. I'll just let it loose. You can't live
with me.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It's not nice. Sorry, guys, got it right. I want it.
I don't need other living things.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
I mean the same way about my kids.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
So, Matthew, is there anything that you've fallen in love
with lately?
Speaker 6 (16:31):
Yes, it happened to me the other night. This is
how you know you've been married for fourteen years. It
was my fourteenth wedding anniversary, and we went out to
dinner and we brought the two children with us, and
this is what you do when you're old and sad,
and I mean we did. We have had a date recently,
but on our actual anniversary was Tuesday, and we said,
let's just bring the kids with us. So we went
to a wonderful restaurant, a newish restaurant in our neighborhood.
(16:53):
I want to shout them out. It's called the Good,
Good Good. Yeah, and yes, it's a great restaurant. We
had a great meal and a great time, great service.
But there was something specific about the meal that I
liked that I feel like I've been to other restaurants
where they will do this and I really appreciate it,
which is they let you split a glass of wine
with your partner. So for instance, I Robin and I
(17:16):
each had a cocktail or two, and then the steak
is coming and he said, would you like another drink
the waiter and I said, you know, like, I don't
know if I want a whole other drink. Robin's like
I would like wine with my steak. And she said,
do you want to just have a sip of my wine?
And I said, yeah, I'll just have a sip of
your wine. And the guy said, why don't I bring
you two glasses and you share the glass of wine.
And I said, that's perfect because I don't want a
(17:37):
whole glass of wine, but I do want a little
bit of wine with my steak. And I've had that
happen in other places where they'll let you split a
glass of wine. Sometimes you have to ask for it.
But the fact that they suggested it, I mean, I
really appreciated that. So I have a feeling answer.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
People are out here splitting.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Me something that you necessarily would think of, but you
can do it, and they will do it, and I
highly recommend it, although I feel like Amber is browning
me for being like, why why are you such a pussy?
Why did you not just drink the whole glass of wine?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I'm thinking, and you know it, but yes, but I do.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
Sometimes you it's a Tuesday and you've already had a
cocktailer two and you don't want another whole glass of
wine because you don't want to fall asleep at the
table with your children. So I said, I would like
half a glass of wine with my estate and with
your partner, which I appreciate. So thank you to the
Good Secondary.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
I know what kind of food was. The Good Good
sounds black. I'm not gonna let you sounds like it's black.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Owned it was.
Speaker 6 (18:37):
It was in East Harlem, I believe it is.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It was.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
It had a slight Caribbean flavor to it. But it
was very like you know, I mean we got plantains,
but I mean the meal was like a ribbi. There
was curried carrots involved. There was. It was just a delicious.
Graham had a cheeseburger my son that he loved. They
were very nice. My daughter loves shrimp, so they had
a shrimp dish. It came in sort of a coconut
(19:01):
pineapple sauce and she's not gonna like that. And he said,
why did I deconstruct the shrimp? And I'll bring you
the shrimp on the side, and we'll bring you all
the sauces inside so that anyone else wants to try
the sauces can try them. We said, fantastic. Everything was delicious.
This place is great, great cocktails. It's yeah, it's in
East Harboro, The.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Good Good in East Harlo. I'm going yay.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
The Ember Lacey Lacy Never Show is sponsored by the
Good Good.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
We gotta try it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
Now.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Recently I went on a date and they picked me
up and said, oh, I want to bring you to
this place you're gonna like And I'm like, I'm probably
not gonna like it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I don't like most things.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
But then we pull up and we get there and
it was, uh the best place I've ever eaten.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And it was the cheesecake Batchery? Did I drick you?
Did you think I was telling the truth?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You know?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You know about this right that she always says the
cheesecake factory every episode. I am correct. The cheesecake factory
is the best place on earth.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I stand by this book.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
You can take oh, you could take the girl out
of but you.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Better take her as to the cheesecake Did you really
go to the cheesecake factory? Did you really go that?
You did to the cheesecake factory? Okay, yeah, where did
you go?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Oh you're going to go. I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Hey, if you love me, did you love the cheese?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I'm here to tell you. As they're saying, you.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Love you tolerate the Cheesecake Factory. I have to say,
of all the like suburban chain type places, the cheesecake
Factory is well. I would put it in the top twenty.
I agree, you.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Want to find something that you can eat. You're going
to find something.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
But to go there every day?
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Everyone listen America every day, every lot there every day,
and that's too much. If I lived closer to the
cheesecake Factory, which I wish I did, I would go
there every day.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
She lives close, she's ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Can't be getty closer, and I can't describe the agony
of driving ten minutes to the cheesecake factory.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I hate it.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I hate the drive because I want the food and
I was trying to become the spokeswoman for a cheesecake factory.
Let me just let you again.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
I think you should go every day, and every day
you bring a different date, and every day you look
at the Barteger and you give them a look.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Like that guy's so sick of my ass. I said down,
and he goes Cosmo and I go you. At this point,
we're too deep in I'm like, how's your nephew.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
I love them guys. I love it.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I love it at Cheesecake Factory, best place I've ever been. Hey,
everybody that was can you stand it? And I'm glad
we talked about it because it turns out I can.
Let's take a quick break and when we come back,
we are going to ask Matt Goldich about his new special.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
No questions asked, stick around.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the ever Lacy, Lacy and
Amber show.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
You guys. I would like to welcome you to court.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I member Ruffin, I'm the prosecutor, and my sister.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I'm Lady Lamar the beautiful.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Okay, I don't think she needed to say beautiful. All
rise for Judge Matt Goldige.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
This is a different type of court ergid.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Okay, Judge Matthew Goldich, your task today is to help
the people who have brought their cases.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Before the court.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Lacy and I will repeat their case, and then you
will judge fairly and honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Today is about financial advice. In our first case, we
have a young man who never wants to leave his apartment,
even though he's got enough saved for a nice down payment.
All right, So, as the prosecution, I also think we
have this backwards but okay, but as the prosecution, I
think he's absolutely right. I think you should lose money
(23:26):
forever and never own a home because because at some
point your water could break the pipe that delivers water
to at a point, the pipe that delivers water to
your residence could break, resulting in a billion dollar bill,
(23:51):
and that will make you so mad that you'll want
to push your house into the sea.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
So, Amber, are you kind of talking about yourself?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
One talking about myself. Home ownership is a scam. Never
buy a home. Also, you could just ball out. You
just have you know, cash for rent instead of a
billion dollars. I'm gonna sam, Sam, I'm gonna call them buys.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
You have the money, do the down payment, buy the home.
It's an investment. It'll only get better. Then you'll be
a you know, maybe down the line you want to
take out a loan, you can do it against your home. Okay,
maybe not, but you need that, You need that in
your life. What about you want to pass it down
to your children. It's yours. You can do whatever you
(24:48):
want with it. It's an asset. Buy the house. Don't
listen to Amber. Yes, she had to pay sixteen billion dollars.
To get some plumbing done.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
That was on her.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
She should have known that before. She lovet that as
sorry ever, so, yes, you need to buy the home. Sam,
do not listen to Amber. She's just a bitter old
old place, too old.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I am going to side with I believe it's the
defense on this one, Lacey as the judge. First of all,
I do I should say that if you are in
your home and your water does break, get the epidural.
Trust me, you won't regret it. Right, It's true, Brent
(25:38):
is flushing money down the toilet. Rerent is money that
you that you give to someone and it goes bye
bye and you never see it again. It is. It
is the worst when you own a home. If you
are able to own a home, if you're able to
put money towards it, you're not just getting a place
to live. You're building up equity. And if you ask
me if I know what that means, I don't. I
(25:59):
don't underst and the concept. I know it's a thing.
I know it's good. My wife says, you're building up equity.
It's smart, it's good. I don't know what it means,
but I know it's good. And that's why that's why
I'm taking Lacey's side.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Started I lost another case. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I gotta win this next one or else my wife's
going to be so mad at me.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Number two.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Kim cannot get over her addiction to getting weekly massages,
even though she fears it's sending her to the poorhouse.
But hello, I'm the prosecutor, Amber Bamber. But now I
gotta say that this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
I can't imagine paying someone to invade my personal space. Yeah,
(26:53):
paying a stranger to touch me sounds like my least
sounds like a nightmare. I'm doing my two least favorite things,
losing money and being touched by a stranger. I don't
like it, but look, I'm a normal guy.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You're stressed, You've got a lot of problems and shit.
But don't you see, lady, these massages are the very
thing causing you the stress that you need the massages
for to get relief from. So you gotta stop getting massages.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kim. It's bad love, am Okay?
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Well, my message to kummas touch me in the mall,
touch me. But also, Kim, this is what we're gonna
do Kim, you got to look if you're if you
are getting what you say weekly, you're doing other stuff.
(27:51):
You are a splurger, ma'am. So you gotta get rid
of that coffee you gotta get. You are going out
every weekend with your friends. I know you are. You're
spending one hundred to two hundred dollars. You are going shopping,
You're on the Amazon. Stop doing that. You can keep
your massages, but you got to get rid of one
thing to keep the other. So I'm going to let
you keep these massages, but you can't be having margharitas
(28:14):
with Amber.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
On the weekend, because I know I saw you all
together right now.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
You can't hang with Amber, So that's not That's what
I'm gonna say by rest in my case, lazy Sy.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
You know, first of all, what a shock that Lacey,
who supported sending yourself flowers daily, would also support massages.
But I was ready to side with Amber on's because
I also don't like massages. I don't have a problem
with strangers touching my body. It's more just that I
don't get anything out of it, and I never I've
(28:54):
gotten them before, and I never feel more relaxed afterwards.
I always feel exactly the same. I don't have a
problem with the act of it while it's happening, I
just don't. I just don't get anything out of it.
I'm also anti massage, but I can appreciate that some
people really do like them, and some people really do
get relaxation and enjoyment out of them. And because I
(29:16):
thought Lacey's advice was so smart about if you're gonna
get your massages, you got to give up something else,
I hate I'm gonna side with Lacy again on the
I'm gonna side with the defense on this one. I
think I hate to again abandon my coworker of nearly
ten years who's who you know?
Speaker 4 (29:37):
You know.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I'm sorry to reveal both of our ages, but yes,
I'm sorry about that. Even as an anti massage just
I side with the defense.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Hold on, I'm going to glow the hold on.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
My flowers are being over to the door. Lazy massage
therapist is here, guys, thank you.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I'm really worried about my family life, my wife and kids.
They're gonna be so freaking pissed dude until I win
case number three. How much, yes, gross? How much money
is the right amount to bring to a casino. Jenny
is going on a cruise for the first time and
it has a casino on it. She only knows how
(30:22):
to play blackjack and wants to hit the slot machines,
but she wonders how much money is the right amount
to bring to a casino. This isn't really a do
it or don't do it. This is more like a
game of estimation. But here's the correct answer. The right
amount of money to bring to a casino is the
(30:44):
amount of money you are willing to lose at a casino.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Now, that's the only gauge you should be judging by.
If you were to like walk into the casino and
reach into your pocket and go, oh day, where's the
money I was supposed to use to play slots at
the casino?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Oh, well, that's the right amount of money.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
That's the amount, then you wouldn't mind absolutely disappearing. Also
personal note, I don't like gambling because I don't think
money is a toy. I think toys are toys, and
lots of things are games, and lots of games are fun,
But I don't think money is a game.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Love Inmber refin the prosecution rest.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I am going to say, the amount of money that
you bring to the casino is whatever you're playing out
there with on the weekend. So you are getting your
methosas and flowers, you're gonna have to take that away
for the week. Take your play money that you're not
doing anything important with. It's not your rent, it's not
your car note, not your mortgage. You take all that
(31:56):
money for the week, baby, take a camrito.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
That's my answer.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
And the who the propecusion? What lazy squire?
Speaker 6 (32:11):
All right, I want to be one hundred percent clear.
Massages a waste of money, Flowers, waste of money, rent, rent,
waste of money gambling at a casino. One hundred percent
is what you should be spending your money on. It's
totally worth it. The most fun You've picked blackjack, which
(32:33):
is the most fun game. Take the amount of money
that you are willing to lose, double it and bring
that and you will have the time of your and
you will have the time of your life. Yes, yes,
And if you lose it all, that's just part of
the fun, baby, Okay. And maybe maybe you'll win, maybe
you'll win big, and maybe you'll win big and you
(32:56):
won't even feel anything, and you'll say that I don't
even feel anything. I want more. I want more of
that feeling. And that's how you look like. I love
to gamble.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Wait, are you really a gamblot?
Speaker 6 (33:09):
Slots is set set, I play. I could play poker.
I could and play poker for hours and hours, and
I do like to. Poker is a is a sober,
daytime coffee game. And blackjack is a nighttime evening drinking,
fun social game. And those are the two things that
I do.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Wow, So you would go to a casino If I
was like, man, it's Friday.
Speaker 6 (33:34):
I would go. I would be with you. I would
go with any hour myself.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Let's go to the casino.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
I would go so many times. I have you've been
to yourself?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
No, she knows.
Speaker 6 (33:47):
Yeah, it's my advice. It's fine if you If you
take me to a bar or out eye by ten
thirty or eleven o'clock, I am ready to pass out.
I can't stay awake in a you know I could.
I could stay awake till four or five in the morning. Easy.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, Oh my.
Speaker 6 (34:06):
God, I mean.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
I mean I'm responsibilities and children, and I don't go
very I very rarely go now, so like I've it's
almost I almost never find myself in a casino maybe
once every couple of years. But now when I go,
I'm like, I'm going. You know, I'm going all out
because I don't do it very often.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
You know, Matt, I would be worried about you, yo
ass drink half a glass of wine.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
No, No, you're not the type of person.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
But it is funny that you said when your wife?
Does your wife know about this? Because I can tell
you in all honesty, I've been to Las Vegas probably
a dozen times in my life. I've never even set
foot in the strip club. I've only been to the casinos.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Yeah, and you shouldn't be don't go to the strip club.
You go to Atlanta, then that's a different thing. It's
a different thing, it is.
Speaker 6 (35:05):
But it's also like they have wings, right, Yeah, a show.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's a legit show.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
No, I'm done with you guys.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I think we figured it out and delivered real justice.
Thank you, Judge Nicol Dutch.
Speaker 6 (35:19):
My pleasure helped people.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Find financial.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Now it's time to make our case for the top
this or that in our segment called.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
That's ranked dood do. Now, Matt, you've been.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
On Late Night with Seth Myers for many years, which
means that you are familiar with the Rockefeller Center. It's
rich with New York City history, consumerism, and itself is
a historical landmark. So today we're gonna duke it out
for the ultimate list of top three things you can
find in Rockefeller Center. Yes, okay, so we're gonna start
(35:58):
at number three. So this is the third best thing
you can find in Rockefeller Center. Okay, The third best
thing you can find at you know, like at in
the little area of Rockefeller Center is the skating rink
one hundred best.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Number three. Skating rook is so cute and I love it.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
And where our offices you can look out the window
as you could see a new person get proposed to
every frickin five minutes and I'll never get enough of that.
So that's my Number three is the ring lace face.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
I would say Fao sports is number three for me.
Love that place right A still sell mon Chi cheese.
If you don't know what it is, that's not my problem.
You gotta google it.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
But yeah, would not have guessed you as a man
chi chie type of guy.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, okay, all right, yep, love it.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
That's my number three.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Getting to know.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Matthew, what is the third best thing you can find
in the Rockefellers enter area.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Well as the Amber and Lacy Shows main supporter of
black owned restaurants. I am going to go with a
restaurant in the basement in the concourse called Field Treats,
where I often get rice pols.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:16):
It's a restaurant that started in my neighborhood and has
since branched out to a few locations. And I will
often get lunch there. Sometimes if I'm working late, I
will get dinner there and it is delicious.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (37:28):
And they have spicy spicy food, which is the key
for me. You gotta get spicy, I need.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I Can you know how spicy can you eat?
Speaker 6 (37:38):
That's a good question. I think I would, But I
like hot and spicy food. I don't know that I
could eat continually without tearing up my stomach. But like
one meal, some hot peppers, some hot sauce in it,
like yes, all the way. Like if you give me
a choice between eating a meal that's spicy and eating
when it's not, I would use spicy one percent of
the time real. Yeah, spicy cocktails.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Can't that.
Speaker 6 (38:06):
A little bit cocktail? I'm like, yes, bringing on.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah, you're probably right about that. Okay, that's the third
best thing the Rockefeller Center thing number two. I gotta
be honest, I don't remember what I thought I was
going to say, Lacey, do you know what your second
favorite thing is at Rockefeller.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
I'm going to say because of my daughter, the Lego store.
She loves Legos, so I bring her back the Legos. Yeah.
Do I love Legos?
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
They're a waste of space. I'm so sorry Legos, but
they're stupid. But my daughter loves them, and yeah, you
gotta go. You gotta get your little legos.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah, that's a pretty good You have a.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Grown ass woman, she's twenty.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
You know what I'm going to say.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
The second best thing at Rockefeller Center is Late Night
with Seth Myers.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Wait, I was s.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Myers is the best show that was ever created, And
it's very fun. All my little friends work there, and
then if I go there, I can see them and
give and receive gossip. Also, there's candy. There's a top
notch candy drawer and you can get whatever you want
from it.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Whatever, you want.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Also, there's a nurse around the corner at the studio,
and if your tummy hurts, you can tell her and
then she will tell you you should not have had
all that milk.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And that is what.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I love Late Night with Myers. Number two best thing
at Rockefeller Center.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
I'm gonna say the second best thing about Rockeller Center
is thirty Rocks. Specifically is the confusing sets of staircases,
escalators and elevators that never quite lead exactly where you
think they're going, no matter how many times you've taken them.
That goes for the basement, where you go, oh, I'm
going to take this staircase and it'll end up right
(40:05):
at this place I want to go, and you look
around and you go, I'm not where I thought I was.
That goes for the three separate elevator banks that led
me to be one minute late for my interview at
Late Night with Seth Meyers, even though I arrived at
the building forty five minutes in advance, and I thought
I'd blown my chance, but it turns out I was okay.
(40:26):
I came in and Alex Beys, our head writer, was
standing in front of the desk of the main reception
desk like sort of like look like grumpily looking. I
was like, oh my god, I blew it, and thank
god I managed to say something in the meeting to
rescue myself. And I was a page by the way
at that building for a year, and yeah, it was
so long ago that I'd forgotten my way around by
(40:46):
the time I got there. But it's just an everlasting
wonder of mysteries. I don't know if I said that right,
but just the fact that you never know where you're
going to end up, even yes, even if you think
you know where you're going, it just makes life so exciting.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Really, And it's been ten years, and I tell you,
every time I get to the bottom of those stairs,
it's a surprise who it's never what I think is.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
And when I'm going I don't play.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
It's so so bad that when I'm going downstairs, I
don't I just go to whatever the first stairs are
and then I walk to the hallway just to try
to figure out my bearings. And that's usually not enough,
because I got to look around quite a bit before
I can figure out exactly where I am in the thing.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
It's a mess. It's a cute little mess. I love it.
Where are we at the number one? I think?
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Ok, I'm correct, And the best thing that has ever
happened at Rocketfeller Center is the Christmas Tree. The Christmas
Tree is a delight for all ages. It is so
spunky and it is so beautiful. Yes, it takes you
ten extra minutes to get to work because of the traffic,
but think about it like this, Who gives this ship
(42:00):
because I got to see a shiny thing? I love
that tree. The tree loves me. We are best friends.
I singing a song every year. It's a delight.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I don't like to agree with Amber ever, but we
both love Christmas. We are made of Christmas. Okay, we
were both poor on Christmas Day. True, so we it's
the Christmas Tree. It's the Christmas Tree. It's the Christmas Yeah.
And I'm that's all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
See what a good answer is?
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I know, amazing. You better say Christmas tree my number one.
Speaker 6 (42:39):
And I'm honestly surprised nobody said this yet, But it
is the Christmas Tree. I am a Jew. I am
a Jew, but this is true. My birthday is Christmas Eve,
and so I've always loved I've always loved for Christmas season.
It always warms my heart. I don't like the crowds
(42:59):
around Christmas Tree, but you can avoid them either. If
you're an employee, you can bring your children into the
building and up to your office and let them see
the Christmas tree from your empty office. Or if you're
not an employee of NBC, here's my advice. Great time
to go see the Christmas tree on Christmas Day, not
that crowded people are with their families. Go see the
(43:20):
Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I've done it before.
Speaker 6 (43:22):
That's one another nice thing about being Jewish. No plans
on Christmas. Let's go see the Christmas tree. It's wonderful.
It's the best. I love it. What a what a
special place to work.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Oh yay, guys, that's great. We did a good job.
I think so okay.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
And you want to know why. It's because we're very
very smart but also like so good looking. Yes, like
people have asked us to stop it, and we won't. Matthew,
this was very fun. I'll let people know where they
can see more of you.
Speaker 6 (43:54):
Yes, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. My name is
Matt Goldich GLD I C subscribe check out my special
no questions asked. It's on there. I'm posting clips on
my Instagram, which is also Matt goldich X, formerly known
as Twitter TikTok. You could be my eighth follower on TikTok.
(44:14):
Wouldn't that be so exciting?
Speaker 5 (44:15):
No?
Speaker 6 (44:16):
I have a few more than that. No, but please,
I mean it's so exciting to have it out there,
and please please everybody watch. And at some point there
will also be an album version that you can listen
to on all the streaming services that's coming out on
March eighth.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
Yeah, neat so oh that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Congrants again, Mitt, guys, thank you, thank you for listening
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. I'm
at Amber Ruffin and Lacy is at Lacy lamar One.
Make sure you get our bonus episodes on Friday, so
subscribe to our podcast speed wherever you get your podcasts,
rate and review.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Us or else.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We will find you and we will pitch you.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Okay, we love you
We're Amber and Lacey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If you really must know, Lacy is the best part
of the darn show. It's really it's the Amber and Lacy,
Lacey and Amber show.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, I got more fan mail today. I'm how they
found me in a lot, but I got more fan
mail saying you don't even live at the building. More
fan mail saying I'm the best part of the show.
And you know what I hand wrote back to everyone
in caligraphy. I know that's what it is. That's what justgraphy.
I don't know that anyone wants to receive it. Chocolate
(00:35):
piece of just one good div of chocolate back to
the people. What it loves the chocolate mail piece of
div of chocolate Lacy. I don't know, cause you gotta
appreciate doing people. That's what they want. They want me
and they want chocolate. They kind of got you can't
help me without wanting chocolate? Where horrible? Hey, everybody, welcome
(00:58):
to the Ember and Lacey, Lacy and Never show, the
show that dares to ask what y'all doing over there
today show. Our guest is my friend from work. He's
a comedian and he writes for everything including Late Night
with Seth Myers.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
He also has his own stand up special. His name
is Matthew gold Lacey.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yes, what the what is going Amber? I'm getting stressed
out down to the wire, guys, I'm turning my home
into I'm gonna say airbnb, but technically it's not an Airbnb.
It's more like the corporate housing where they're going to
be staying in it a longer time. Anyone that has
done this, please call Amber and ask her, like, what
(01:46):
what do I need to finish this?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Now?
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I just have a lot of stuff that I have
to do because I have to make it back to
New York time for birthday party Amber.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Because we're silly.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, but it's two big birthdays. It's forty five and fifty.
Everybody that means she is way bigger than hers. She
keeps saying two big birthdays because she wants to.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Have a party. Nobody cares about forty five.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hey, I care, it's happening to me none, Okay, I
mean I didn't agree with you till you're saying it.
And now let's just say a love lord. Oh but
more importantly, what are we gonna wear to the party?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I see?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh my god, I never even thought of that ship.
I know I'm gonna have a tiara, just letting you
know you're gonna have a tiara for birthday party. Yeah,
and maybe a h feather boa with an evening.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Can you bring that? Bring that back with you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Maybe sequence because you know now that I'm of a
certain age, sequence is a staple. Yeah, that looks great.
Maybe we both need one.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Maybe. Okay, it's possible. You don't even have to make
up on you have that on all side.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
You're jazzed up because look at you in that nasty
ass muppet jacket. She always makes fun that thing. But
now we look good. Once a week, you look good.
It's jazz.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I have five outfits. This is one of people not
trying to not trying to win any outfit contests. Guys,
I couldn't. I couldn't even name outfitt ouch fist outfit contests. Yeah,
am I winning that?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
You would lose? Not a thing I really wanted to
win it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
This week is a little bit fun, guys, because laces
out of town.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
What you're sad and you're crying?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Hey cry, guys. I wake up every morning and I
cry so many tears.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I go lazy.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Lazy, but I did see a bug. I was like, dig,
tell them who gets the bug? Lazy gets the books,
I get the bugs. Well, I kind of am, but
i've he's not a scare as Amber. She's a whim.
I'm not a whim, only above certain bugs. Why the
cutest bug in the world. It's not a real ladybug.
It's like the Japanese beetle. Yeah, but it looks just
(04:13):
like a ladybug.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Everyone. This woman will cry real tears if it comes.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I don't like him because he infested my house. Yeah,
and then I got so mad, And then it really
made me understand that.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
The world was unfair.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So every time I see one of those, that's what
it represents. Is there any home in the United States
that is not infested with these ladybugs? I came home,
I guess who opened the door and greeted me. I
was like, what in the world these beetles are everywhere?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I was so mad.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I was like, I just left Amber's house. How dare
you set up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Camp in here?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, all my friends say there's everywhere you can't get
rid of them.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I believe that. I don't know what to do with that.
I do not know what to do.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But since we are on our podcast right now, let's
discuss are we making our own birthday cakes?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yeah, guys, this is what's something we really need to
talk about. So I think we should and we will
post it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We're going to post it everybody.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I think Lacy and I should really take a big
swing at making a fancy birthday cake each of us. Yeah,
and then have a contest.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I need everyone to know that mine is going to
be more beautiful than ambers. Everybody already knows it's true.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
It's not true. Did you say it's not true? Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I can decorate a cake, and I can make the
most beautiful pie designs. I hate pie, but I can
make a gorgeous pie too, so you can't beat me.
You're going to look if you added all of the
cakes you've ever made and all of the cakes I've
ever made, it wouldn't be a quarter. What are you
talking about. I've been making them shits, just to be
eaten them. There's no way you have baked more cake
(06:00):
to me. If this woman is hilarious, I used to
make the cake every weekend. Ask ask your mother made cakes?
All the time decorated these chocolate cakes beautif sun today.
I don't know where because I was at the house
doing that. Where were you at the house? No, you
didn't all these years when I lived by myself in
my twenties and didn't know how to behathe I was
(06:22):
in my apartment.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I still don't think you'd been baking.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Listen, let the best king when we die, let's get
to heaven, and asked the Lord, and he will tell you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And you're gonna ask you know what he's gonna do.
And I don't. I don't condone this. He's gonna slap
my face.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Sit down, Lacy arives here, and he's gonna crown me cake.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
He is, yeah, and have been slapped by the Lord.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh girl, stop talking now, slap your whole face off.
And you and he told me talk about slapping. You
cocked that so far way back. Someone you've got to
reach all.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
You're not a good slapper. I don't. It's too much effort.
I don't like the person. I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't want to expend a bunch of effort trying
to slap. Listen, you're gonna get slap, make it step up.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Thelert's not gonna slap me. He loves me too much,
and he told me that in a text. Oh did
he jesus be texting me? Okay, they only text people
they don't like. I went to dinner with both of them,
to Mantra. Yeah, Jesus, he is black, So I know
for a fact you went to Mantras.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
You know I went to Mantra. That girl loves Mantra.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
I do.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I love it so much.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Mantra is a restaurant in Omaha, Nebraska, and it's in
our favorite neighborhood, Benson. Guys, there isn't a place in
Benson that I don't absolutely adore.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, we love it. It loves Lacy.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
When we come back, you're going to meet my friend
from More, comedian and writer for Late Night with Seth Myers,
Matthew Goldich, Everybody, stay juned. Hey, everybody, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
To the amor Lacy Lacy Camera Show.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
We are very excited to be able to hang out
outside of the writer's room because we found someone that
we love. Is this very talented and funny comedian. His
new special No Questions Asked, is available on YouTube since yesterday.
Let's give him a warm welcome. Welcome Matt Goldige gold.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Yay, bye, guys yy. I'm so excited to be here
with you all. I really appreciate you having me on.
I have I have to tell you what a special
moment this is for me because obviously Amber, we've known
each other for many years, Lacey shorter period of time. However,
(09:09):
I would say since my first child was born almost
nine years ago, I've probably read five books totally, and
I would say that two of them two of them
by you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
So yes, yes, very proud.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
And I don't like books, as I've made very clear.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well with babies. Okay, you have a baby, you got
to get this book. Yes, all right, I love it. No, guys,
the Amber Lacy Lacy and Amber show does not in
any way endorse especially.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's a great lullaby.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
Especially the hard bag. You know, if they misbehave damn everybody.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
So you know.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You worked hard on your special. There was a reason
why I like this guy. I feel like the cut
of your jib.
Speaker 6 (10:07):
I don't even know I had a jib. I mean
I did, I did a lot. I feel I'm so
happy it's over. I don't it's I mean, I did
this show every night for two and a half weeks
and in Scotland this summer, and we did leading up
to it, and then when it was done, I just
wanted to collapse. I wanted to an exhaustion. But it
(10:30):
was I think it, you know, I think it came
out Okay. The bar is very the bar is very low.
I want to embarrass myself.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You know how I behave except I like to go.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I want to feel a little bit embarrassed at all today,
and that's how I roll. I don't want it to
get too embarrassing, but I should always feel just a
little bit embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Yes, Well, if you're the type of person who is
not embarrassed putting yourself out in front of people, little problem,
right like if you're if it's not a tiny bit embarrassing,
your beautiful problem with you on?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
You're inside, you didn't know, you did not know.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Or you're anyone under thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Remember those years? I think that all the freaking time.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I'm always thinking someone gets popped for something.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I go.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Have I ever said anything like that in an improv
comedy show?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And fucking the year two thousand and one I mean,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I said all kinds of weld shit could have been me.
My point is I've never said or done anything bad. Yeah,
that's right. Once you get a suggestion, you're absolved. It's
the suggestion's fault.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
I don't If it's in an improv, it doesn't count.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
And you can tell that by looking at how unkempt
any improviser.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Is.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
The rules of improvs supersede the rules of society.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh, I'll cuss out your child exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I once saw Amber at an improv show cuss out
a child. That's out a little boy when I was
in Amsterdam. Yea, he was acting stupid and crazy and said,
but I could have been was like, listen, you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Could have been a job and I do not care.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But also because cuss words.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Just don't that mean as much.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I was going to say, you know, and like children
say like ship and stuff because it doesn't have any
weight because it's not your first language. So like, if
you're watching Bart Simpson and the subtitles, he says like ship,
but he's not saying that because you can't do that
(12:47):
on TV here anyway. The point is, I'll cuss out
your child matt Today, we're.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
That's like your version of Cameo.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Sorry, guys, I don't like him. I don't want to
be honest, but I will cuss out your child.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
They need it. Guys.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Today we're pulling out this segment called kid You sid It.
It's where we inform our wonderful audience about something that
we've fallen in love with lately. And I Amber Mildred
Ruffin do solemnly swear to not bring up the cheesecake
victory again. Okay, anyway, Lacey Matthew, think about something that
(13:25):
you absolutely adore, that has happened to you, that you saw,
that you smell, that you felt recently, and that you
feel like the world needs to know about lace.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
You can do it, but and I believe in you.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I am going to say. And Amber is totally against
this because I don't know something happened to her. I
was watching one of the kids calling in today at
TikTok and they were talking about this is anyone can
do this, but people are doing this for themselves a daily,
(14:01):
not weekly, not monthly. You get a daily bouquet of
flowers send to you yourself A little message. I don't like,
do I feel like a man should be sending these
to make sure. Would I do it?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
But because I live with Amber, she throw them right
in the trash. She hates plants. What I mean, daily
is too many, and maybe daily is probably too much.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
People are doing that.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
I don't weekly just I've ever heard this before, But Amber,
you don't like flowers? Is this true?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I love flowers, and I think everyone should receive flowers.
I love them.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I don't want plants living in my home going everywhere.
I don't want like a fern. But if someone says
I love.
Speaker 6 (14:45):
Them, as someone sent you a plant before, as like
a thank you for hosting something, and you were just like,
absolutely not, this is this is not.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I wouldn't even remember if they had, because it would
have so immediately gone into the trash.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I very hate.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I don't like it. That's like, will you give me
a tiny obligation eat ship? Oh fucking take care of
this thing. You may be a tiny daily appointment every day.
I gotta give this thing water, No fucking way, yuck.
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Anti botany, we call you your anti can't.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I'm anti everyone? Do you see what I'm living with? People?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You hate this for a second reason, because I love it.
That's a waste of money. Sending yourself flowers every day
is a waste of money. I don't like that. I
don't like the thought of it. That's too many flowers.
And if you love yourself, use your words. Damn, you
can't send yourself.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Flowers every day.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I don't like a lot?
Speaker 6 (15:40):
Will I agree?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Every day? That's a lot. I want too many.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Let's normalize sending yourself flowers.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I want to see this too. Not greedy, that is.
And one puppy. That's it.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
What that's going to start to pile up. It's a
good Sorry, it's gonna get almost instantly out of control.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Amber's garbage is just going to be overflowing at this point.
If you she has to throw out flowers and a puppy.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I don't want no babies. No oh I mean yeah, yeah,
I get. I'll just let it loose. You can't live
with me.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It's not nice. Sorry, guys, got it right. I want it.
I don't need other living things.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
I mean the same way about my kids.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
So, Matthew, is there anything that you've fallen in love
with lately?
Speaker 6 (16:31):
Yes, it happened to me the other night. This is
how you know you've been married for fourteen years. It
was my fourteenth wedding anniversary, and we went out to
dinner and we brought the two children with us, and
this is what you do when you're old and sad,
and I mean we did. We have had a date recently,
but on our actual anniversary was Tuesday, and we said,
let's just bring the kids with us. So we went
to a wonderful restaurant, a newish restaurant in our neighborhood.
(16:53):
I want to shout them out. It's called the Good,
Good Good. Yeah, and yes, it's a great restaurant. We
had a great meal and a great time, great service.
But there was something specific about the meal that I
liked that I feel like I've been to other restaurants
where they will do this and I really appreciate it,
which is they let you split a glass of wine
with your partner. So for instance, I Robin and I
(17:16):
each had a cocktail or two, and then the steak
is coming and he said, would you like another drink
the waiter and I said, you know, like, I don't
know if I want a whole other drink. Robin's like
I would like wine with my steak. And she said,
do you want to just have a sip of my wine?
And I said, yeah, I'll just have a sip of
your wine. And the guy said, why don't I bring
you two glasses and you share the glass of wine.
And I said, that's perfect because I don't want a
(17:37):
whole glass of wine, but I do want a little
bit of wine with my steak. And I've had that
happen in other places where they'll let you split a
glass of wine. Sometimes you have to ask for it.
But the fact that they suggested it, I mean, I
really appreciated that. So I have a feeling answer.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
People are out here splitting.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Me something that you necessarily would think of, but you
can do it, and they will do it, and I
highly recommend it, although I feel like Amber is browning
me for being like, why why are you such a pussy?
Why did you not just drink the whole glass of wine?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I'm thinking, and you know it, but yes, but I do.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
Sometimes you it's a Tuesday and you've already had a
cocktailer two and you don't want another whole glass of
wine because you don't want to fall asleep at the
table with your children. So I said, I would like
half a glass of wine with my estate and with
your partner, which I appreciate. So thank you to the
Good Secondary.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
I know what kind of food was. The Good Good
sounds black. I'm not gonna let you sounds like it's black.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Owned it was.
Speaker 6 (18:37):
It was in East Harlem, I believe it is.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It was.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
It had a slight Caribbean flavor to it. But it
was very like you know, I mean we got plantains,
but I mean the meal was like a ribbi. There
was curried carrots involved. There was. It was just a delicious.
Graham had a cheeseburger my son that he loved. They
were very nice. My daughter loves shrimp, so they had
a shrimp dish. It came in sort of a coconut
(19:01):
pineapple sauce and she's not gonna like that. And he said,
why did I deconstruct the shrimp? And I'll bring you
the shrimp on the side, and we'll bring you all
the sauces inside so that anyone else wants to try
the sauces can try them. We said, fantastic. Everything was delicious.
This place is great, great cocktails. It's yeah, it's in
East Harboro, The.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Good Good in East Harlo. I'm going yay.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
The Ember Lacey Lacy Never Show is sponsored by the
Good Good.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
We gotta try it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
Now.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Recently I went on a date and they picked me
up and said, oh, I want to bring you to
this place you're gonna like And I'm like, I'm probably
not gonna like it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I don't like most things.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
But then we pull up and we get there and
it was, uh the best place I've ever eaten.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And it was the cheesecake Batchery? Did I drick you?
Did you think I was telling the truth?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You know?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You know about this right that she always says the
cheesecake factory every episode. I am correct. The cheesecake factory
is the best place on earth.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I stand by this book.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
You can take oh, you could take the girl out
of but you.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Better take her as to the cheesecake Did you really
go to the cheesecake factory? Did you really go that?
You did to the cheesecake factory? Okay, yeah, where did
you go?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Oh you're going to go. I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Hey, if you love me, did you love the cheese?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I'm here to tell you. As they're saying, you.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Love you tolerate the Cheesecake Factory. I have to say,
of all the like suburban chain type places, the cheesecake
Factory is well. I would put it in the top twenty.
I agree, you.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Want to find something that you can eat. You're going
to find something.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
But to go there every day?
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Everyone listen America every day, every lot there every day,
and that's too much. If I lived closer to the
cheesecake Factory, which I wish I did, I would go
there every day.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
She lives close, she's ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Can't be getty closer, and I can't describe the agony
of driving ten minutes to the cheesecake factory.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I hate it.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I hate the drive because I want the food and
I was trying to become the spokeswoman for a cheesecake factory.
Let me just let you again.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
I think you should go every day, and every day
you bring a different date, and every day you look
at the Barteger and you give them a look.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Like that guy's so sick of my ass. I said down,
and he goes Cosmo and I go you. At this point,
we're too deep in I'm like, how's your nephew.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
I love them guys. I love it.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I love it at Cheesecake Factory, best place I've ever been. Hey,
everybody that was can you stand it? And I'm glad
we talked about it because it turns out I can.
Let's take a quick break and when we come back,
we are going to ask Matt Goldich about his new special.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
No questions asked, stick around.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the ever Lacy, Lacy and
Amber show.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
You guys. I would like to welcome you to court.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I member Ruffin, I'm the prosecutor, and my sister.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I'm Lady Lamar the beautiful.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Okay, I don't think she needed to say beautiful. All
rise for Judge Matt Goldige.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
This is a different type of court ergid.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Okay, Judge Matthew Goldich, your task today is to help
the people who have brought their cases.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Before the court.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Lacy and I will repeat their case, and then you
will judge fairly and honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Today is about financial advice. In our first case, we
have a young man who never wants to leave his apartment,
even though he's got enough saved for a nice down payment.
All right, So, as the prosecution, I also think we
have this backwards but okay, but as the prosecution, I
think he's absolutely right. I think you should lose money
(23:26):
forever and never own a home because because at some
point your water could break the pipe that delivers water
to at a point, the pipe that delivers water to
your residence could break, resulting in a billion dollar bill,
(23:51):
and that will make you so mad that you'll want
to push your house into the sea.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
So, Amber, are you kind of talking about yourself?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
One talking about myself. Home ownership is a scam. Never
buy a home. Also, you could just ball out. You
just have you know, cash for rent instead of a
billion dollars. I'm gonna sam, Sam, I'm gonna call them buys.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
You have the money, do the down payment, buy the home.
It's an investment. It'll only get better. Then you'll be
a you know, maybe down the line you want to
take out a loan, you can do it against your home. Okay,
maybe not, but you need that, You need that in
your life. What about you want to pass it down
to your children. It's yours. You can do whatever you
(24:48):
want with it. It's an asset. Buy the house. Don't
listen to Amber. Yes, she had to pay sixteen billion dollars.
To get some plumbing done.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
That was on her.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
She should have known that before. She lovet that as
sorry ever, so, yes, you need to buy the home. Sam,
do not listen to Amber. She's just a bitter old
old place, too old.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I am going to side with I believe it's the
defense on this one, Lacey as the judge. First of all,
I do I should say that if you are in
your home and your water does break, get the epidural.
Trust me, you won't regret it. Right, It's true, Brent
(25:38):
is flushing money down the toilet. Rerent is money that
you that you give to someone and it goes bye
bye and you never see it again. It is. It
is the worst when you own a home. If you
are able to own a home, if you're able to
put money towards it, you're not just getting a place
to live. You're building up equity. And if you ask
me if I know what that means, I don't. I
(25:59):
don't underst and the concept. I know it's a thing.
I know it's good. My wife says, you're building up equity.
It's smart, it's good. I don't know what it means,
but I know it's good. And that's why that's why
I'm taking Lacey's side.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Started I lost another case. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I gotta win this next one or else my wife's
going to be so mad at me.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Number two.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Kim cannot get over her addiction to getting weekly massages,
even though she fears it's sending her to the poorhouse.
But hello, I'm the prosecutor, Amber Bamber. But now I
gotta say that this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
I can't imagine paying someone to invade my personal space. Yeah,
(26:53):
paying a stranger to touch me sounds like my least
sounds like a nightmare. I'm doing my two least favorite things,
losing money and being touched by a stranger. I don't
like it, but look, I'm a normal guy.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You're stressed, You've got a lot of problems and shit.
But don't you see, lady, these massages are the very
thing causing you the stress that you need the massages
for to get relief from. So you gotta stop getting massages.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kim. It's bad love, am Okay?
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Well, my message to kummas touch me in the mall,
touch me. But also, Kim, this is what we're gonna
do Kim, you got to look if you're if you
are getting what you say weekly, you're doing other stuff.
(27:51):
You are a splurger, ma'am. So you gotta get rid
of that coffee you gotta get. You are going out
every weekend with your friends. I know you are. You're
spending one hundred to two hundred dollars. You are going shopping,
You're on the Amazon. Stop doing that. You can keep
your massages, but you got to get rid of one
thing to keep the other. So I'm going to let
you keep these massages, but you can't be having margharitas
(28:14):
with Amber.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
On the weekend, because I know I saw you all
together right now.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
You can't hang with Amber, So that's not That's what
I'm gonna say by rest in my case, lazy Sy.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
You know, first of all, what a shock that Lacey,
who supported sending yourself flowers daily, would also support massages.
But I was ready to side with Amber on's because
I also don't like massages. I don't have a problem
with strangers touching my body. It's more just that I
don't get anything out of it, and I never I've
(28:54):
gotten them before, and I never feel more relaxed afterwards.
I always feel exactly the same. I don't have a
problem with the act of it while it's happening, I
just don't. I just don't get anything out of it.
I'm also anti massage, but I can appreciate that some
people really do like them, and some people really do
get relaxation and enjoyment out of them. And because I
(29:16):
thought Lacey's advice was so smart about if you're gonna
get your massages, you got to give up something else,
I hate I'm gonna side with Lacy again on the
I'm gonna side with the defense on this one. I
think I hate to again abandon my coworker of nearly
ten years who's who you know?
Speaker 4 (29:37):
You know.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I'm sorry to reveal both of our ages, but yes,
I'm sorry about that. Even as an anti massage just
I side with the defense.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Hold on, I'm going to glow the hold on.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
My flowers are being over to the door. Lazy massage
therapist is here, guys, thank you.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I'm really worried about my family life, my wife and kids.
They're gonna be so freaking pissed dude until I win
case number three. How much, yes, gross? How much money
is the right amount to bring to a casino. Jenny
is going on a cruise for the first time and
it has a casino on it. She only knows how
(30:22):
to play blackjack and wants to hit the slot machines,
but she wonders how much money is the right amount
to bring to a casino. This isn't really a do
it or don't do it. This is more like a
game of estimation. But here's the correct answer. The right
amount of money to bring to a casino is the
(30:44):
amount of money you are willing to lose at a casino.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Now, that's the only gauge you should be judging by.
If you were to like walk into the casino and
reach into your pocket and go, oh day, where's the
money I was supposed to use to play slots at
the casino?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Oh, well, that's the right amount of money.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
That's the amount, then you wouldn't mind absolutely disappearing. Also
personal note, I don't like gambling because I don't think
money is a toy. I think toys are toys, and
lots of things are games, and lots of games are fun,
But I don't think money is a game.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Love Inmber refin the prosecution rest.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I am going to say, the amount of money that
you bring to the casino is whatever you're playing out
there with on the weekend. So you are getting your
methosas and flowers, you're gonna have to take that away
for the week. Take your play money that you're not
doing anything important with. It's not your rent, it's not
your car note, not your mortgage. You take all that
(31:56):
money for the week, baby, take a camrito.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
That's my answer.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
And the who the propecusion? What lazy squire?
Speaker 6 (32:11):
All right, I want to be one hundred percent clear.
Massages a waste of money, Flowers, waste of money, rent, rent,
waste of money gambling at a casino. One hundred percent
is what you should be spending your money on. It's
totally worth it. The most fun You've picked blackjack, which
(32:33):
is the most fun game. Take the amount of money
that you are willing to lose, double it and bring
that and you will have the time of your and
you will have the time of your life. Yes, yes,
And if you lose it all, that's just part of
the fun, baby, Okay. And maybe maybe you'll win, maybe
you'll win big, and maybe you'll win big and you
(32:56):
won't even feel anything, and you'll say that I don't
even feel anything. I want more. I want more of
that feeling. And that's how you look like. I love
to gamble.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Wait, are you really a gamblot?
Speaker 6 (33:09):
Slots is set set, I play. I could play poker.
I could and play poker for hours and hours, and
I do like to. Poker is a is a sober,
daytime coffee game. And blackjack is a nighttime evening drinking,
fun social game. And those are the two things that
I do.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Wow, So you would go to a casino If I
was like, man, it's Friday.
Speaker 6 (33:34):
I would go. I would be with you. I would
go with any hour myself.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Let's go to the casino.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
I would go so many times. I have you've been
to yourself?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
No, she knows.
Speaker 6 (33:47):
Yeah, it's my advice. It's fine if you If you
take me to a bar or out eye by ten
thirty or eleven o'clock, I am ready to pass out.
I can't stay awake in a you know I could.
I could stay awake till four or five in the morning. Easy.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, Oh my.
Speaker 6 (34:06):
God, I mean.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
I mean I'm responsibilities and children, and I don't go
very I very rarely go now, so like I've it's
almost I almost never find myself in a casino maybe
once every couple of years. But now when I go,
I'm like, I'm going. You know, I'm going all out
because I don't do it very often.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
You know, Matt, I would be worried about you, yo
ass drink half a glass of wine.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
No, No, you're not the type of person.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
But it is funny that you said when your wife?
Does your wife know about this? Because I can tell
you in all honesty, I've been to Las Vegas probably
a dozen times in my life. I've never even set
foot in the strip club. I've only been to the casinos.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Yeah, and you shouldn't be don't go to the strip club.
You go to Atlanta, then that's a different thing. It's
a different thing, it is.
Speaker 6 (35:05):
But it's also like they have wings, right, Yeah, a show.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's a legit show.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
No, I'm done with you guys.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I think we figured it out and delivered real justice.
Thank you, Judge Nicol Dutch.
Speaker 6 (35:19):
My pleasure helped people.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Find financial.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Now it's time to make our case for the top
this or that in our segment called.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
That's ranked dood do. Now, Matt, you've been.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
On Late Night with Seth Myers for many years, which
means that you are familiar with the Rockefeller Center. It's
rich with New York City history, consumerism, and itself is
a historical landmark. So today we're gonna duke it out
for the ultimate list of top three things you can
find in Rockefeller Center. Yes, okay, so we're gonna start
(35:58):
at number three. So this is the third best thing
you can find in Rockefeller Center. Okay, The third best
thing you can find at you know, like at in
the little area of Rockefeller Center is the skating rink
one hundred best.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Number three. Skating rook is so cute and I love it.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
And where our offices you can look out the window
as you could see a new person get proposed to
every frickin five minutes and I'll never get enough of that.
So that's my Number three is the ring lace face.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
I would say Fao sports is number three for me.
Love that place right A still sell mon Chi cheese.
If you don't know what it is, that's not my problem.
You gotta google it.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
But yeah, would not have guessed you as a man
chi chie type of guy.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, okay, all right, yep, love it.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
That's my number three.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Getting to know.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Matthew, what is the third best thing you can find
in the Rockefellers enter area.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Well as the Amber and Lacy Shows main supporter of
black owned restaurants. I am going to go with a
restaurant in the basement in the concourse called Field Treats,
where I often get rice pols.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:16):
It's a restaurant that started in my neighborhood and has
since branched out to a few locations. And I will
often get lunch there. Sometimes if I'm working late, I
will get dinner there and it is delicious.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (37:28):
And they have spicy spicy food, which is the key
for me. You gotta get spicy, I need.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I Can you know how spicy can you eat?
Speaker 6 (37:38):
That's a good question. I think I would, But I
like hot and spicy food. I don't know that I
could eat continually without tearing up my stomach. But like
one meal, some hot peppers, some hot sauce in it,
like yes, all the way. Like if you give me
a choice between eating a meal that's spicy and eating
when it's not, I would use spicy one percent of
the time real. Yeah, spicy cocktails.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Can't that.
Speaker 6 (38:06):
A little bit cocktail? I'm like, yes, bringing on.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah, you're probably right about that. Okay, that's the third
best thing the Rockefeller Center thing number two. I gotta
be honest, I don't remember what I thought I was
going to say, Lacey, do you know what your second
favorite thing is at Rockefeller.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
I'm going to say because of my daughter, the Lego store.
She loves Legos, so I bring her back the Legos. Yeah.
Do I love Legos?
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
They're a waste of space. I'm so sorry Legos, but
they're stupid. But my daughter loves them, and yeah, you
gotta go. You gotta get your little legos.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah, that's a pretty good You have a.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Grown ass woman, she's twenty.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
You know what I'm going to say.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
The second best thing at Rockefeller Center is Late Night
with Seth Myers.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Wait, I was s.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Myers is the best show that was ever created, And
it's very fun. All my little friends work there, and
then if I go there, I can see them and
give and receive gossip. Also, there's candy. There's a top
notch candy drawer and you can get whatever you want
from it.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Whatever, you want.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Also, there's a nurse around the corner at the studio,
and if your tummy hurts, you can tell her and
then she will tell you you should not have had
all that milk.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And that is what.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I love Late Night with Myers. Number two best thing
at Rockefeller Center.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
I'm gonna say the second best thing about Rockeller Center
is thirty Rocks. Specifically is the confusing sets of staircases,
escalators and elevators that never quite lead exactly where you
think they're going, no matter how many times you've taken them.
That goes for the basement, where you go, oh, I'm
going to take this staircase and it'll end up right
(40:05):
at this place I want to go, and you look
around and you go, I'm not where I thought I was.
That goes for the three separate elevator banks that led
me to be one minute late for my interview at
Late Night with Seth Meyers, even though I arrived at
the building forty five minutes in advance, and I thought
I'd blown my chance, but it turns out I was okay.
(40:26):
I came in and Alex Beys, our head writer, was
standing in front of the desk of the main reception
desk like sort of like look like grumpily looking. I
was like, oh my god, I blew it, and thank
god I managed to say something in the meeting to
rescue myself. And I was a page by the way
at that building for a year, and yeah, it was
so long ago that I'd forgotten my way around by
(40:46):
the time I got there. But it's just an everlasting
wonder of mysteries. I don't know if I said that right,
but just the fact that you never know where you're
going to end up, even yes, even if you think
you know where you're going, it just makes life so exciting.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Really, And it's been ten years, and I tell you,
every time I get to the bottom of those stairs,
it's a surprise who it's never what I think is.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
And when I'm going I don't play.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
It's so so bad that when I'm going downstairs, I
don't I just go to whatever the first stairs are
and then I walk to the hallway just to try
to figure out my bearings. And that's usually not enough,
because I got to look around quite a bit before
I can figure out exactly where I am in the thing.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
It's a mess. It's a cute little mess. I love it.
Where are we at the number one? I think?
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Ok, I'm correct, And the best thing that has ever
happened at Rocketfeller Center is the Christmas Tree. The Christmas
Tree is a delight for all ages. It is so
spunky and it is so beautiful. Yes, it takes you
ten extra minutes to get to work because of the traffic,
but think about it like this, Who gives this ship
(42:00):
because I got to see a shiny thing? I love
that tree. The tree loves me. We are best friends.
I singing a song every year. It's a delight.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I don't like to agree with Amber ever, but we
both love Christmas. We are made of Christmas. Okay, we
were both poor on Christmas Day. True, so we it's
the Christmas Tree. It's the Christmas Tree. It's the Christmas Yeah.
And I'm that's all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
See what a good answer is?
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I know, amazing. You better say Christmas tree my number one.
Speaker 6 (42:39):
And I'm honestly surprised nobody said this yet, But it
is the Christmas Tree. I am a Jew. I am
a Jew, but this is true. My birthday is Christmas Eve,
and so I've always loved I've always loved for Christmas season.
It always warms my heart. I don't like the crowds
(42:59):
around Christmas Tree, but you can avoid them either. If
you're an employee, you can bring your children into the
building and up to your office and let them see
the Christmas tree from your empty office. Or if you're
not an employee of NBC, here's my advice. Great time
to go see the Christmas tree on Christmas Day, not
that crowded people are with their families. Go see the
(43:20):
Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I've done it before.
Speaker 6 (43:22):
That's one another nice thing about being Jewish. No plans
on Christmas. Let's go see the Christmas tree. It's wonderful.
It's the best. I love it. What a what a
special place to work.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Oh yay, guys, that's great. We did a good job.
I think so okay.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
And you want to know why. It's because we're very
very smart but also like so good looking. Yes, like
people have asked us to stop it, and we won't. Matthew,
this was very fun. I'll let people know where they
can see more of you.
Speaker 6 (43:54):
Yes, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. My name is
Matt Goldich GLD I C subscribe check out my special
no questions asked. It's on there. I'm posting clips on
my Instagram, which is also Matt goldich X, formerly known
as Twitter TikTok. You could be my eighth follower on TikTok.
(44:14):
Wouldn't that be so exciting?
Speaker 5 (44:15):
No?
Speaker 6 (44:16):
I have a few more than that. No, but please,
I mean it's so exciting to have it out there,
and please please everybody watch. And at some point there
will also be an album version that you can listen
to on all the streaming services that's coming out on
March eighth.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
Yeah, neat so oh that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Congrants again, Mitt, guys, thank you, thank you for listening
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. I'm
at Amber Ruffin and Lacy is at Lacy lamar One.
Make sure you get our bonus episodes on Friday, so
subscribe to our podcast speed wherever you get your podcasts,
rate and review.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Us or else.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We will find you and we will pitch you.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Okay, we love you
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