November 27, 2024 • 60 mins
Amber and Lacey hilariously debate the merits of Thanksgiving versus Christmas, highlight fun facts about turkey leg restaurants, and share amusing personal stories, including awkward medical encounters and unexpected DMs. Special guest Bowman Martinez Reed joins in, offering comedic legal judgments and chatting about his new show, 'Made for TV.' The episode is filled with laughter, playful banter, and unexpected twists, making it a delightful listen.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, But.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Who cares because Christmas is the best. It's the Ember
Lazy Lacy and embersh jingle bills.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I noticed your song didn't rhyme. It doesn't matter it
rhymes because Christmas is in there. I guess that's true.
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Or I mean that yet more respect for Christmas than that? No,
but really, Christmas is the only thing that matters and
nothing else does. And I'm sorry, but people are they've
gotten their turkeys ready. Yeah, they're fighting in the stores
to grab whatever they can. Yeah, getting nutmeg and cinnamon
(00:52):
for those recipes.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I'm gonna go Thanksgiving food shopping today, okay, And when
I wake up, I'm going to put some greens in
the pot and then I'm gonna get the greens.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Are you having a friends giving?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm having an early Thanksgiving and then a real Thanksgiving later.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Okay, all right, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving?
I'm sure I will have several friendsgivings? Ah, fun.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, I'll pop around then I'm gotta we're not doing
a traditional big turkey with mom and dad.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
They love those turkey legs they do. There are so
many Okay, First of.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
All, everyone, there are a million turkey leg restaurants in Omaha, Nebraska.
They're popping up all over the place. Just go get
you a flavored turkey leg.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
How weird? Is that? What a whole thing? Talking about?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
A turkey leg restaurant just opened in Benson, and there's
several around Omaha where you just get turkey legs and
just have different flavors changing. Yeah, spe it, crunch it whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Now, I don't want to talk trash about these restaurants,
but I don't see them lasting forever.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I feel like it sounds fun. It sounds really fun.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
See that is just something fun. And I hate to
say it, but I'm might support them. I'm gonna go
grab my turkey legs. I'm sure they're gonna have a
million orders.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And I love turkey legs. You take me to the
medieval fair. What am I hold of turkey turkey legs?
She really universal.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Turkey leg she likes it.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But you know what, I don't think turkey leg is
a It's not like a turkizza level, Like it's not
like the time type of No, it absolutely isn't. That's
why I was like, I don't think this restaurant is
gonna be as famous.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
As they want it to be.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, because in the middle of the summer, I'm not
thinking turkey, Like, I don't know why, just not.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
No, Now, pizza eat that every day?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, you could eat pizza every day. Turkey, leg it's
the mood has to strike you. Sorry, everyone. So that's Thanksgiving, okay,
But none of that matters because Christmas is here. Christmas
is upon us. It was upon us starting Halloween. Marian
Carrey's right.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Also.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I was saying that and saying that, and then I
remembered years ago I sang a song on Late Night
Steff called Halloween is Christmas, and I was like, that
is Halloween is Christmas. I'm making a lot of people
mad right now. Good and guess what, we don't care.
Stay ahead, we stand on it. Stay ahead, I'll triple
down it. Santa Claus on my side. Who don't break
(03:35):
down Thanksgiving, don't let us break it down. I know
that's you don't want to, but we'll break it down
for you. I want you to have a good time.
You leave me alone, you can have a good time.
You keep pressing me like this, I'm gonna tell you
about your holiday you love so much.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
We'll come to your house. We'll keep writing white for
don't make us scroll up your house, scroll up to
your we'll come there. We'll scroll up better than just
rolling out our old ass grobe. And Okay, now thanks Giving?
Uh huh, what are you? We don't care. We'll hurt
(04:09):
your feelings. I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Okay, Lacy, what else is happening in your life? Well,
I am here in Omaha, Nebraska.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
M Well try people here.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, what did you say say that? Well, it's a
good thing Trump didn't when ros said be a terrible
place to be.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Trump didn't win here. That's true. He didn't win on
your couch. He didn't win he's not and he didn't
win my heart. And he didn't win my house.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
No, oh my gosh, Lacey, Lacey, Lacy, what are we
be amvy. It's happening.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
It happened.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I feel like the first time. I guess we'll just
talk about Trump. I can't help it. The first time
he got get it out, I I thought, I don't
want to say this, but it is so true. First
time we got elected, I was a little sad, but
I thought it was hilarious, Like I mean, there's none
you can do.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
What the fuck you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Also, like everyone was so like, it was hilarious to
watch people be like, racism is real, as someone who
knew that since time began, so like to watch white
people be like what wait when always that's so great?
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So yeah, so now that we all know racism is real,
it's less fun. It's less fun.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yeah. And that day I need to tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I went so my mom just had a slight allergic
reaction and she had to go to the hospital. So
when I went to pick her up from the hospital,
they had taken her out of the room for a test,
and a doctor had just walked in in front of
me and he was waiting to talk to mom to.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Discharge her.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
So I walked in behind him and this is the
day after the election, and he turned and I'm everyone
is at high alert. Everyone's at high alert. First I
had walked into the hospital and a nurse said not today,
not today, and someone grabbed her arm to tell her
to calm down.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
She said, no, I'm sitting it and storm so we
knew what that was about. She looked at me. I
looked at her, and I was like, carry on, lady,
carry on. I get it. So I go up to
my mom's room.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
The doctor's in there, and he turns to me and
he says, now, listen, I gotta this might be offensive.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I said, then, guess what.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Don't say it. I said, when you lead with that,
that means it is going to be offensive. And you
don't have to say it. And I never say anything
about me writing a book, but I said, I wrote
a whole book on this. I wrote a whole book
on stupid sayings and racism. Don't say it. And he goes, uh,
you know, you know, you're you're you're absolutely right. Oh,
you're absolutely right. Okay, But what I wanted to ask you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now, how does your hair na? He said, does how
long does it take you to grow your hair like that?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And he had a mullet, a doctor with a mullet.
He had a little bit long in the back. And
I said, just as long as you take your hair,
I said, you're the doctor. Hair grows the same on
my head as it grows on your head, you know.
And I said, now again, that was a dumb question.
And I hate to educate people because you could have
googled that. Don't say that to another black person today.
(07:34):
Don't ask them how fast their hair grows, or why
it grows, or if it grows is fast.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You don't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And he goes, he goes back to I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
you're right, you're right right. Oh my god, I shouldn't
have said it. I shouldn't said yeah, you're right. And
then we sat there in silence till they brought mom back.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Uh uh uh uh. I can't hook that out the election.
You could get hurt. Fuck. Also, a man with a
mullet is taking care of my mom. Get her out
of it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Doctor M, doctor M, doctor M, doctor M. Was not
a civil rights leader.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You guys, the world that we live in. I'm on PRASCO.
They got doctors la mullets. They got doctors la mullets.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Oh my gosh, doctor mullet. I have something so sad
to say that. I don't know if we'll be able
to get the show back on track.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
We will.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
It's really sad. Oh no, maybe maybe I shouldn't say it.
It's too sad, and.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Then we'll cut it out if it's bad.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Oh great, yeah, we can cut it out if we
don't make it back.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I'm an editor.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
A side effect of Trump winning, my friend took her
child to the pediatric emergency room because the baby fails.
Baby's fine, but the baby fell and was bleeding. So
they took the baby to the emergency room and it
(09:07):
was full and they had to wait for hours, and
she was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Is it always like this?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And the doctor goes, it's so many children on suicide
watch and this is the day after Trump one. Oh
that's it's not normally hours and hours. But yeah, these
kids are out here, they're feeling they are feeling it,
and they know what the fuck is coming.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It's not going to be great. It's not gonna be great.
But you know what is our podcast? Everybody, our podcast,
our podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Sometimes we cover some rough little things on here, but
the truth is the truth. So maybe you needed to
hear that today so that you could actually sit here it.
Maybe you thought this podcast was fun and about tissie
rolls and cotton candy, which it is. Dogs.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
You gotta think about these things, that's right, and uh,
now you know. But also Lacey, tell one happy story.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Tell one happy story. Oh no, Amber, my one happy story.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Now I am thinking, Okay, thank you Bay of getting
for my parents. I truly, truly, truly feel like they
need a dog. They do not feel like they need
a dog.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
But old people need need something to protect them.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
So I've been looking at dogs and I feel like
the next time Amber visits, oh, we might be picking
out a dog for our parents. So Amber, the next
time you visit, I feel like they just need a
medium sized dog. No one needs a totally.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Dad is totally in agreeance with Dad needs a dog
to love, and he does love a dog. He does
love time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
And it doesn't have to be a huge and a
monster dog. But Dad needs a sweet little doggie to
be his little companion.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
You know who's my little companion, Lacey Lamar, And you
know who's our little companion today? Hold up, you said
I was little. That's right, That's what I like.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Our companion today is Bowman Martinez. Read now, I know
what you're thinking. That last name is a rough and
it doesn't matter. He's our baby.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
This is our child. You know him from everywhere.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I mean him and his Kardashian TikTok is the fucking
funniest shit you've ever seen. He's got a new show out.
He also released a debut single called I Have a Thing.
His new show, you can see on Roku called Made
for TV with Bowman Martinez read and You're gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Love it and you're gonna love him just as much
as we do.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
So stick around after this, Welcome back to the Amber
and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
We have special guests today. So he is and very
few people know this our nephew.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I was just going to say the family. He looks
like one of our sweet, sweet little baby. We have
spoken one word to this child, yet it is too
late for him.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
His fate is sealed. We are your aunties.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Oh you don't kind of.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Similar, and you kind of do look like our nephew.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You do look like you could get in there. Yeah,
people would hand you a plate and not think twice.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
They're gonna just keep going. They don't know who you are. Yeah,
you're one of the nephews period.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
It'd be like, sweetheart, people are playing NBA two taen downstairs.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Would you like to do that? Alright? You have fun?
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Do you like that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
The newest video game reference I had was NBA. I'm
old and I feel like that's that's.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
What year?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
What I mean?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I would never have I don't even know a single
video then, only like Nintendo. So that's only like you're
still cooler than me.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I mean I woult have said centipede and you know
that's wrong. Here's some quarters, baby going down to the corner.
It was better than centipede.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's the ball?
Speaker 4 (13:30):
What that is?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
There was nothing.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It was a ball.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Seriously, that was like your controller was a ball. You
just knew that, aud you didn't have no skill.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Look, I cannot recommend Centipede to anyone who's not fifty.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
They would not have fun. They wouldn't. I'm sorry. It's
not enough. These children.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
They need lights, they need fashion, they need sixteen buttons.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, too many, but all that things.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
It's getting scary. It's getting scary. I actually often talk
about like if I was a kid today, like that's
so sad, Like what do you do? What do you do? Do?
They have imaginations? Like when I was a kid, like
we used to build snow forts and I like in
the in the playground and I was like we had
(14:21):
an office and I was like CEO. I was president
of the snow Ford Office. Like we were like using
our imaginations, and I genuinely wonder, like, what are they doing.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
They're not out, they're not doing that, They're not ingesting stuff.
Someone said this I heard, and it's so true. When's
the last time you saw a kid with a cast?
Nobody's jumping off anything? Oh my god, all the time,
and write their names on them.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I've seen child. Nobody's breaking anything. It's not right. We
gotta go out here, we gotta go break somewhere.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
We got.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Some kids.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Just you see a kid the grocery over literally their ankles,
like he'll be fine. We didn't even say what we say. No, wen, Hey,
everyone's Bowman Martinez Reader. This is the first time we've
(15:22):
done that. We talked forever, never said his name. I
feel fast, I felt special.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
We will have.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Part.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That's true, that's true, that's yeah, Hey everyone, it's our baby.
So Made for TV with Bowman Martinez Read is getting
us distribution starting December first, Rod Who. Each episode follows
Bowman as he tackles a new genre of television with
(15:50):
the help of celebrity advisors and real people. Y'all, things
are fixing to get super bucking cute Bowman Where.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Are you I'm in l A right now, although I
am originally from Toronto. Well I live in Toronto, so.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Okay, okay, stop stop stop stop? Yeah, can you can
you give me a citizenship?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Citizenships?
Speaker 3 (16:16):
What's back there? Citizenships?
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's so it's so you know what I can find.
I can try to find I can try to find one.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
If you handed them all out.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Yeah, there's a lot of people are asking.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I'll say that it's are you going to be buried
in two minutes?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Girl? It's so weird because it's like I am I'm
having a moment where I'm like, do I need to
be in Canada? Like I don't. Do I want to
be in Canada? Do I What is there for me here?
Like I kind of I feel like I've outgrown it
in a way. But at the same time, then I
see what my options are and it's just not it's
(16:53):
like looking grim, like it's looking grim. Now it could
be worse, Yeah, it could be. Why it could be worse,
I'll let you know because it could be.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
A year from now. That's gonna be real under his
under your.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
But I am from Canada. My boyfriend lives here. So
we go back and forth so.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
You can save one.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
You could at least say one. I could at least
save one.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Minute.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Is he from Canada?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
No, okay, they're gonna get and then he'll be saved.
It's gonna be great and they're going to adopt two
beautiful women.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Black women were there.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
I'll give you a nice home. We'll give you another.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, So, like what when you what is the time
split between Toronto and l A three hours? That's true.
What how much time do you in Toronto? And how
much time do you spend?
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I knew, good question. It's sorry. I understand the time split.
It's not there's no schedule to it. It's more so
I just try to come visit him whenever I can.
He will try to visit me whenever he can, although
it's more challenging for him to visit me because there's
nothing for him to really do in Toronto, whereas like
(18:28):
la is fun like that, I can do things here
like I can.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Also, it's warm.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
It's warm. He is from Arizona, so he doesn't understand
the concept of winter. We were actually last winter. He
came to visit me and he got dressed. I don't know,
are you guys from a cold climate. Like, have you
lived in a cold climate? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Nebraska, Nebraska, I'm here right now.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
It was cold. It was February in Toronto and he's
visiting me and he left the house and he was like, okay,
I'm ready to go, and he's wearing shorts. I was like, no, no,
you can't do that. He was like, well no, I
just like I'm tired of wearing pants. And I'm like,
you can't. Like, it's not even that you can't wear
it because you're going to be cold, it's that everybody's
(19:16):
going to look at you sideways, like people are going
to think you are crazy if you step out in shorts.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, you can't you wearing pants? Are you tired of
having legs free? Right off?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Exactly? So? I think, he I think. I don't know.
Maybe we'll get to a point where, like we split
time more evenly. He just like we just travel together.
But right now it is I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Want to be all in your business. Yeah, how long
have you guys been together?
Speaker 4 (19:45):
It's been a year and a half. Over a year
and a half.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's love. No, what are we doing for this moment?
Don't mess this up? Okay, don't mess it up.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Why spend as much time together as possible. Yeah, okay,
And if you decide to move to l A, just
do it. But if you can convince him to move
to Canada, do that too. I need you guys to
be together, Lacey. If I don't want this long distance thing,
I don't want me take you two seconds for Lacy
to fall in love with the thought of a couple
(20:17):
falling in love, I just love it, don't. I'm of
me and my partner wearing for our wedding on I
think when we were on the second date, it.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Was the second date, I was already was like, look
at this.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Is what you guys are gonna wear. Okay, wear the
other one's gonna wear a dress when it happens.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Planned. I already know what your suits. I already know
what your theme is.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
What are we gonna wear? What are we gonna wear?
What's our theme? And what are we gonna wear?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Your theme?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Okay, it's gonna be just a light It's it's you
know that pale gray, lavender color gray. I just said lavender.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Okay, it's almost like you know it's.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
A let's call it light lavin sure, Okay, that's those
are your colors?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I picture light lavender. Okay, you're doing light lavender. You
can pull off this car.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
What time is this a spring wedding? Like? Are we
getting and where are we? Is it destination? Is it
in Los Angeles? Are we in Toronto? Like? Where am
I I need you? Like? If you're going to play
my wedding like I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Paying you, you're you're in Toronto?
Speaker 4 (21:21):
I'm in Toronto. Whose decision was that?
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I said what I said?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And there are spur coats they can be but there's
there's spur coats. Your bridesmaids and your your your bridesmans
that have muffs.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Muffs? Do you know what muffs are?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I do?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
That's the thing. You can't get out of it. You've
already hired.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Me, Lacy. I think we should have a difficult conversation.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I think we should terminate your position on my wedding
planning team.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You can't you signed away sign the form I three
years hiring? Are you trying to do a warm wedding?
Are you trying to do are you trying to do
like a wedding in the in the in the Caribbean?
Speaker 4 (22:07):
What are you trying to do I think I want
a destination wedding. I want a memory. I want an experience.
I want to think of if I'm going to get married,
I want to like think about that felt like a
like a dream, you know what I mean. Like when
I see people getting married and like Italy, I'm like,
(22:28):
that is right, even if it's a small wedding. It's
like that just feels like such a special experience for
everyone rather than just for me and whoever I'm marrying.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
As a wedding planner, Destination weddings are they're they're going down.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
People can't afford them, they don't want to go. Let's
bring all the friends are written.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
I'll see what I can do.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
After this podcast, I'll have a new one written for you.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Lazy, Like if you're going to be saying this, like
I normally.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Don't like people telling me what their weddings are going
to be, I'm gonna let you do this just once.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Can you imagine if that was your big sister? Can
you imagine it? You would never Okay has no choice.
I'm suffering.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Maybe I need the direction of my like I need
some direction, like I need I need you do. I
think I need that.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
I do. I'm gonna have.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I'm gonna say is you can have whatever wedding you want.
Just don't don't mess this up. If this is love,
don't mess it up. Okay, So, Lacy, why are you
so romantic today?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Because I think it's cute.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It is cute, It is cute, you know what, it
is cute long.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
But also if they're not the person you let me
know I'm there, do they ever?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Don't ever tell her that someone did anything wrong, someone
needs something wrong to my favorite guess. Every time someone
hurts your feelings, do not tell Lacey. Don't ever say it.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
This boy would never hurt my feelings. He is Okay,
look I'm back, and he's the sweetest little angel, like
he just is. Everybody loves him. My family loves him,
my friends love him. I was here last week and
my friends back home were like begging for us to
all get online and play Nintendo together because like, they
(24:14):
just love him so much.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
He just he just said Angel, and I'm picturing angel
wings at the wedding.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Okay, we're back. Also there Angel by Anita Baker. Oh,
they have no idea who that is?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Okay, all right, He's like, you need a bakery.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Well, I know a guy.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Okay, we will never this is my solemn bow. We
will never get to what it is we're supposed to
be talking about.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
And that's okay because we're all in woe in love.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
We just love love. Okay, Now, Lacey, who are you
in love with? Am I in love with me? I'm
not in love with well, I'm in love with the baby.
Who have I been? And let you know what this is.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I'm gonna turn it on a sad, sad moment. No,
I'm not Who am I with anyone in any sci
fi show? You know I'm a sci fier. I've been
watching all my little sci fi shows.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
That's all I have.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, I don't have anybody I'm in love with right now,
and that's why I'm living vicariously through you and Amber.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah, I'm planning your weddings. Oh yeah, we're gonna have
some terrible waits.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Like, guy, I'm.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Sewing the lavender earmuf.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Muffs.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
What's the different?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I didn't know what about you, but your your hands
are holding each other a big.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Got worse.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Ray, I have to tell you, I thought sound like
a great idea. Everybody words for what he can't see.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
He can't see my vision. He can't say.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
I like, uh, you.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
A look book?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
No, I got your look book. I got it. I
can't wait for you to be like, oh my god,
I'm so I apologize. Sorry. You're gonna be like Italy
who needed that? Bring the Toronto wedding.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
You don't be like the way people humorous should be studied.
I get people to be nice to us, even though
we behave the way we do tell what they don't want.
You're loudly screaming what you don't want and then tripling
down on it. I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
It's okay, it's reminding me of what I do want.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Okay, all right, Amber, what else are we doing? Okay?
Speaker 1 (27:04):
So today's episode is friendsgiving friends Giving. Actually it should
just be Thanksgiving because we're family. So I'm sorry, today's
Thanksgiving because us and the baby.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So, in the theme of Thanksgiving, we're gonna give to
a segment we have called oh wait, we should.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Go to commercial.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
We'll go to commercial, and when we get back, we're
gonna do all kinds of shit. You you mind your business.
You you sit down and you shut up, and then
when you get back, there'll be more of this. Welcome
(27:51):
back to the Amber, Lacy, Lacy and Amber show. Our
guest is our closest nephew. We were there our favorite
when he was born. Yeah, he's our favorite baby.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
His name is You named him? I named she? Okay,
so gave the idea that baby looks like a bowman.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
He was.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Bowman was my first boyfriend in kindergarten. And that's where
it came from. Is that real? Like a cute little baby? No?
I made that up, Amber crazy, That light was too real.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Kenya Crandall, Kenya Crandall was my first boyfriend in kindergarten.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
That's neither here nor there. A boy named Kenya. His
name was Kenya. Oh that's cute. Yeah he's some.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
He's some, like amazing coach in Florida, now basketball coach
ken You for listening, all right, that's all I got. Okay, Now,
this is a real story, that's real, and after this,
I swear to God we will get on track.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
To jump on track.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Lacey joked and was like, I chose the name Bowman,
but this is real. Our oldest sister went into labor
while we were hanging out. Lacey and I take her
to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Is this that one? Whatever?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
We're in the hospital with this woman she is having
the baby goes too fast. The doctor comes in as
a and is like, you grab a legg you grab
an egg. Me and Lacie holding Crystal's legs. Crystal poops
out the baby. We see the whole thing. She pooped
out the baby, and then you know, she's like filled
with drugs. She's trying to say what the baby's name
(29:18):
is going to be. She's she's she's drug addict. She
doesn't know what she's talking about. We decide the baby's
name is Miles. I was like, what the hell are
you talking about?
Speaker 4 (29:35):
You named it? Why?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
We said Miles? She had no sight? Now what is
that child's name today? Christopher? She will like, fucking we
were right.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Actually my name was almost Miles. Oh my name almost
Miles Davis.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Oh that's nice. That's right, that's just as nice. And
I'm glad. I'm glad I chose it. I'm glad.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
I thank you for the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I mean, what makes me laugh so hard because when
you joke about being bad, it's a thing we actually did,
did totally bard. We took over someone's But she was
like this a moment, drugged up. She could have said
her moment, we couldn't trust what she was going to say.
She could have said, we had to take over, and
you should have been interest. We're trying to save the
(30:32):
baby exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
She could have said, Beauregard red cut. That is the name.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Actually, my father sometimes calls me, oh, look, and now
we're back on someone.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Anything you're saying, you could have been like my dad
calls me poopy head, and we.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Would be like, oh, okay, welcome back to the Amber Show.
We're back on track. Okay everyone, we're done being bad
right now. We're going to It's it's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Okay, yeah, Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Thanksgiving, So everyone eat turkey, or if you're smart, eat chicken.
Turkey is not as good as chicken. Got the turkey.
Cook a chicken, you know you'd rather have chicken.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Actually, we do a ham, if if if we're going
to talk about it, we do a ham. It's the
best meal.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Do you make it or do you order one of
those big we.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
We get We get it from the grocery store, a
ham unmade and we this the Secret family recipe that
I'll that is no longer a secret. Is we douse
it in clothes, clothes all over the ham, and then
we wrap it in bacon, put it in the oven.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
And it is so delicious you wrap the ham and bacon.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeah, that sounds very very serious.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Oh yay, I love it in him.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I'm going to buy Thanksgiving food tonight so that I
can have a Thanksgiving because I love Thanksgiving food. Also unrelated,
I have to put up the Christmas tree a week
before the two weeks two weeks before thanks.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yes, mafu.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Yeah, so I'm foreign and now you may or may
not know this Canadian Thanksgiving is in October. What.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So my question is when people say, like it's time
for the holidays, is does that does that mean Thanksgiving
and Christmas? Like are those so close together that like
they're tied together? Like the Christmas tree is also a
symbol of Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
It is, but with the rough in family amber and
I the minute Halloween is on the on the same
it's Christmas, it's Christmas. Okay, we don't care about Thanksgiving,
right Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
We're straight. Halloween is Christmas, Halloween is Christmas.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Then little kids come to the door. Mary's a candy.
Put the tree up when you get home. It's Merry
Christmas in there.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
It's Mary going up soon.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
We're terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
The tree is going up soon. I'm so excited. I
can't believe I lived without him.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
It is I it's late for me. I'll put that
thing up November first.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
And I.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Saw that Tan France puts his up on Halloween. I
am all for that.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Okay, that's dramatic, that's true.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Okay, So if we I think what was our question
that we let's just ask it.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
If we are going to a friendsgiving potluck, but what
you bring to the party? What would you bring to
a potluck? That's a trick question for me because I
don't want to eat nothing and nobody is a scary
word for me. Why you say that because people have cats.
I'm bringing to a potluck dessert.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I always want dessert. There's no amount of dessert you
have that is enough.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dessert, And sometimes desserts all the food there is because
people make weird meat and stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
It's good sometimes, but sometimes if there's a pot luck
and everybody brings dessert, then it's a stomach ache.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Yes, I want that.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
You want that.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yes, I would like to have it to Okay, we
want to eat too much.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
I feel like I'm lazy. So I'm going to bring cups, plates, napkins.
If I'm feeling motivated. Here's what I'll bring. Christmas Ham
talks about the Christmas Ham, so we're not going to
do that. Instead, I'm going to bring Spanish tortillas, as
(34:51):
in from Spain. Have you ever had it? No?
Speaker 3 (34:55):
No, what's the difference. I'm not opposed to.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So tortilla in Spain is not It's not like for tacos.
It's it's like a potato. It's like a hash brown.
It's like a big hash brown. I'm already it's like
potato potato. It is okay, so good, and it's like fried.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Oh I want that.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I'll take that of our Christmas Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I'm serving that at the wedding reception. That sounds delucious.
She hasn't forgotten, Lacy.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
What are you bringing?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
I'm gonna bring mashed potatoes and gravy and maybe stuffing.
I'm just gonna bring the basics. It's Thanksgiving pot Look,
people want that Thanksgiving flavor.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, I don't care. I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Guys, I don't really care about a turkey thing now
is like people are doing just turkey legs. I could
do that, but turkey to me is dry. Turkey legs
are okay. But ham, that's like my that's my go
to is the ham.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
I love that Ham.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I don't understand turkey, and I don't understand why it's not.
It's like forbidden to season the turkey to marinate the Like,
why does the turkey have to be It tastes like
air to me, It's like it's like hard, chewy air.
Why why we've created that, We've created a need for gravy.
(36:14):
There's there shouldn't be a need for gravy if we
season the turkey. Nobody eats chicken with salt pepper. I
mean maybe maybe maybe people do. My house, we do
not eat salt pepper chicken. I don't know. I shall
get it.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
You mean our house?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Our house?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Oh will you tell us about your show made for TV?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
I would love to so. My show made for TV
follows me as I am determined to prove that I
am made for TV. Each episode I take on a
different reality TV genre. We do dating, we do cooking,
we do news, We do sports, we do drag, and
(36:57):
we do Kardashians wives. And each episode of celebrity guest
from each prospective genre is taking me on a journey
as I test out all of these different genres and
they all it all ends with the final challenge. The
show is stupid. It is dumb. It is so dumb.
(37:20):
I am me. But at the same time, I'm playing
a very heightened version of myself. I think that people
will watch it and go is this real? Was this
supposed to happen? Which is I think is our favorite
way to watch unscripted TV. Yeah, it's a fun, fun show.
It'll be on Roku December. First. I am so excited
(37:46):
for people to see this show. It's stupid.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
And my question for you watching my question for me.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Two. If you could test a reality TV genre, what
would you test?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I want a dating show where I force people to
date Lacey. Sorry, I forced Lacy to date the people
I've chosen.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Oh why does that bother you? Like? Why are you?
Why are you listen?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Amber did throw this around? First of all, I don't
want cameras following me around in a real situation.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
I don't want that. You have to I'm gonna stay sir,
that's dumb. That's gonna make me look like they're gonna
be like that lady is such a bitch like I can't.
I won't be able to be like, oh my god,
that's so great.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I'm gonna have the same fucking reaction to all these
idiotic dates, and I'm just gonna look like angry, bitter lady.
There ain't but two decent men left in the world,
and Amber's gonna bring me eighty five.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I'm gonna be needs.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
You not. I think a great show.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's a show, okay, well you show.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
There was a show once upon a time called Playing
it Straight, and it was a girl in a house
with a bunch of men, and half the men were
straight and half of them were not. And it was
her job to end up with the straight man so
that they both get the money. If she does not,
then the man that she the man that lied to her,
(39:10):
gets all the money. Oh it was such a good show.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (39:16):
I think that's a perfect show for you, le lazy.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
That is because I could find it. Believe me, Amber knows,
I'd never been wrong. Never I walk in and be
like you married today one I could do it.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
That's a very good idea. Did she what happened at
the end of that show? Do you know what happened?
I feel like I want to watch this now.
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I actually don't. I remember watching it. It's like a
British watch it. So I was watching on you watch it,
don't think you could find it today. I'm watching it
go straight to the end. It was thrilling. It was
so interesting.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Yeah, that really sounds great. Amber and I joked about
doing a show called.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
What was it rough in it? Yeah, remember we're talking
about this and just.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Doing shit that we would never do, like Lacy and
Amber go camping. I was like, all these episodes are
going to be two minutes long.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Two minutes because I'm.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Not going on our rents. We're doing Cali wresting. No
thank you, no not bug touch me. I have to
go home.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
So you want me to do what I have to
try to recover? Okay, listen up, everyone, We're back on track. Look,
it's Thanksgiving. We're with our family. It's our favorite thing
to do on Thanksgiving, which is Sister Court Do Do
Do Do Do Do.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
And Sister Court.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
These two sisters, you know, prosecute case and The case
was sentenced by one of our listeners emailed to Amber
and Lacey Advice at gmail dot com. We received the
email and we chose not we are producers. Chose three
cases where we're going to read your problems and tell
(40:59):
you who's in a who's guilty, and most likely who's
a quote bitch who needs to.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Shut up? I mean that's usually how it's usually what
the ruling.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Is something like that, okay, And presiding over the sister
court is Judge Bowman. Judge Bowman will have the final
say on who's cute and who's not. Just throwing a
whole bunch of mess in there, but yeah, I'm bad, okay.
(41:31):
Scenario number one. My mom and aunt keep complaining about
doing all the work during the holidays. For as long
as I can remember, my mom and aunt have traded
off duties and hosting for the holidays. For the past
few years, they've complained that they do all the work.
My siblings, cousins, and I are more than willing to
host for some of the holidays. We don't have houses,
but we do have nice apartments. When we push the
(41:52):
idea of one of us hosting the holidays to my mom,
and not. They rejected the idea, So now they've gone
back to complaining about doing all the work hosting.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
What should we do, la Sie? They don't want to
go to your nasty apartment. They don't want to go there.
They're never gonna go. They're never gonna go, Shirley. What
they want to do? They want to complain.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Hell, I'm fifty, I'm almost there. I just want to complain. Yeah,
but I don't want to go to your house, or
I don't want you touching the food. You can't cook
like I can cook. I'm gonna complain. We're all gonna eat.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
This is your life. Now.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Before you walk in the door, you turn to whoever,
your significant other, your friend and say, these old ladies are.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Gonna complain, but we're gonna have a good time. It's
what they do.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
My mom complains every day. It's wush does She's never
gonna stop. No, I don't know what I'm If I
get there, I might be that person just just be like, oh,
is there anything I can do to help? No, hand
me the napkins.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
That's why this is your life. You can't let you
cook the turkey. You think they're gonna let you touch
the turkey, Shirlean and do the dressing.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
You're they're not gonna do. They don't want to eat
your ship. They want to make it with their special
touches and complain that they made it. What they want
from you to be like is look that they did.
All this is wonderful, so they want Okay, counter feeling.
You let these old bitches have it be coming to
me complaining. I'll offer to help you, no fucking way.
Either you let me do something or you shut up
(43:06):
because this is my holiday too. You don't get to
have everything. I'm trying to have a nice time. I
brought the company and now I'm embarrassed because you're behaving crazy.
So you don't get this weird turkey because one day
you're going to be too old and we can't come
over here.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
No more weird turkey. Look, I just like to be contrary,
she does. I don't kind of mean that a little bit.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
Judge Bowman, Yeah, Judge Bowman here, okay, I feel I
would like to open the case more and you know,
maybe get into the ce gritty. You know, what do
the apartments look like? How old are the young people?
If they are, I think the age matters here. If
they are thirty plus, I think maybe it is time
(43:52):
that you clean up your apartment and have a nice
apartment and host. If they are twenty to thirty, I
think you're still a kid. You should not be hosting mommy, daddy,
daddy's siblings, mommy siblings for Thanksgiving. That's weird. Now here's
what I will say. I am going to have to
(44:14):
rule that the children are guilty and deserve life without parole.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
And hey, I like a harsh sentiment.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Here's why show up and help challenge Like, show up
and if you're your parents are not complaining because they
don't want to host, they're complaining because they're doing all
the work. And all they have to do is step
up and help. Come early, help clean, help make the table,
(44:47):
bring some food, bring some food, show up with a
cake challenge.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Right, lots of people have Excel spreadsheet and everybody signs.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Up for this and that.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
Yeah, I heard about those. That is my ruling.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Okay, I agree with you, judge, Thank you, enjoy life
and my career with you. Your honor. These people got
they do you better watch out. Okay, I'm gonna I
have the next one.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Okay, this one is do you ask for your family
heirloom back from an ex daughter in law? When I
moved from my house to an apartment in a retirement community,
we gave my son and daughter in law some family
heirloms we thought wouldn't fit in the apartment.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
Since then, they've.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Separated, and it turns out we have more room in
our apartment than we thought. Is it rude to ask
for our stuff back?
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Yes, it's rude.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Do it?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Who cares? Who cares? Take the stuff back? Take it back?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Also, like, did you give it to them and be
like this will be passed down through generations?
Speaker 3 (45:46):
And then now it's not.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
That's I think that's now that that grounds for snatching
it back. I think it's time for a snatchback. Amber, Yes,
I do again, Amber and I don't normally agree, but
I what is that heirloom called? It's called family heirloom.
The ain't no friends heirloom hairlom, it's family heirloom. And Charlene, yes,
(46:11):
this is the same Charlene. Charlene, what's the last as
because you cheating?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
No, no, ma'am, you don't get to keep my grandmama's bowl.
You don't get to keep it.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I'll come get it right now, Hold on a minute,
I'm coming to get it. I'm coming to get that.
It's family heirloom. I just the one my boy, my
son used to date heirloom. You don't get out of here,
Judge Bowman here, sorry, Judge Bowman. Judge Bowman, Judge Bowman
here on the case. Yeah, hey, listen, guys, you know
this is a sticky one.
Speaker 4 (46:42):
I am I am going to I'm gonna I don't
want to waste anybody's time here in the court.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Please don't have to.
Speaker 4 (46:50):
I'm going to have.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
Please don't judge, because I'm you side with.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
The incredible team of lawyers uh Lacy and Amber and
say that it's time to give the stuff back. There
was no reason for them to have it in the
first place, or to to assume that they would have
it forever is out of the margin of possibility. Uh
(47:20):
So I'm going to have to go ahead. And also
I'm going to have to sentence the keepers of the
family heirlooms life without role because they created an environment
that made it feel like it was rude to ask
for this stuff back, which is not right. So that's
(47:44):
my ruling.
Speaker 5 (47:46):
I make a mistake around, Judge Bowman said, Judge Judge, okkay,
all right, this is the last last.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
My husband says that I should stand by him and
not acknowledge our neighbor he recently got in a fight with.
I don't know what happened exactly, but our neighbor still
says hi to me and my daughter.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
What should I do?
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Give him the cold shoulder or ignore him? I think
they mean give him the cold shoulder or talk to
him lace Okay. Now, first of all, Amber already said
this earlier in the podcast.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
Are you cross somebody? You better not?
Speaker 4 (48:31):
You?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Size is something around Amber? And then I'm gonna see them.
Oh hi, Harry, you better not. That's just how that's
that's that's how family is.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
And if you feel like you can't do it, I
need to just sit in your car and listen to
I Don't give a fuck by JJ.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
Listen to that about about twenty times. That'll get you
prep to get out of your car.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
And then will they come up and talk to you?
You will be you will be pumped. Did somebody say
something and just keep walking?
Speaker 3 (48:57):
No, that's not what we do. You bet he better
and not look out the window and see you chatting.
I know that's right. Better his grounds for divorce? How mad?
I will fucking be. I got into a fight and.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
You are on my back, look and you hit fucking
how's the weather, bitch?
Speaker 4 (49:16):
How's the weather?
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Fucking stormy as fuck?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
If you run around here talking to this neighborhood and
shin no fucking way, I'm sorry. The only time he
should be looking you in the eye is when you're
like taking a dump on his front lawn with your
little fingers up. No fucking way knowing that enemy or enemy,
that's it. Those are your only options.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
Yeah, hey, guys, Judge Bowman here, I want to make
this quick. I want to make this quick, but first
I want to dive into some of the terms here
and get a better understanding of how we are defining
some of the vocabulary used in this case. You know, what,
how are we defining as a neighbor? Or do they
(50:00):
live above you? Do they live beside you apartment home?
Are you outside seeing them often? Is this an uncomfortable
situation for all parties involved? And what's more, how long
have you lived there? And what is the relationship like
with this neighbor? Are they a childhood friend? From high school.
Are they a neighbor that you've known for a year.
(50:22):
So these are the types of things that we want
to consider when we're looking at this case and when
we're looking into those terms. But I'll say this, most
parties involved are very guilty, aside from the party of
the husband, I guess that didn't. Yeah, the husband is
(50:43):
very innocent. The husband deserves the keys to the city
because all they did was stand for what they believe in.
It is up to the wife, right, it is up
to the wife to stand with the husband on the
grounds of principle, the family should move as a unit, and.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
I feel opposed to them.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
The family should move as a unit, and I feel
like if there is a divide, then we know that's
when we start getting into grounds for divorce, nasty bit
or divorce and so. And the neighbor should not be
engaging with the speuse of someone that they just had
a horrendous altercation with and to assume that that person
(51:31):
owes them any sort of niceties is an egregious assumption.
So here's my ruling. Seven hundred and sixty hours of
community service, oh for the party of the neighbor, as
well as the wife, and they will have to do
this together, and I'd hope that they would find common
(51:55):
ground and be able to work something out between the
two parties. The husband stays free of jail, but I
will revoke his license.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Okay, these are like this is No one has done
such a thorough ruling in any of these cases that
we've hand giving thought.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Yeah, best judge we've had.
Speaker 4 (52:19):
When we're talking about Supreme Court justices. They need someone
like me that's on the panel.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
They need you in there. You either don't get life
or that's it. There is no. He's not joking around here.
He's not your community or serve time. Lacey. Oh lord,
this is a secret question. Do you have a d MS?
I do, But do we have time? We do have
(52:46):
time for the fastest we have been Willy nilly. These
are all fast dms. These are all hard nos.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Hey, everybody, this is a segment called please slide out
of Lacey's DMS. It's where real men have d M.
This woman on a dating app. Some shit you ain
never gonna believe. Okay, Lacy, please hit us with today's
DM Top three four today are.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
And this is true. Please send me a picture of
just your neck?
Speaker 4 (53:14):
What? No? What?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
And these are I feel really bad that I didn't
respond to any of these. Normally I might say a
little something funny or just no, just I don't have
time for this.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
I'm busy. Please send me a picture of just your neck. Amber.
What do you think about that? That message? I think
you should give him a chance. Okay Bowman, what do
you feel about that message?
Speaker 4 (53:38):
Hey, guys, judge Bowman here.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Thank you. He's still the fucking judge.
Speaker 4 (53:46):
I'm gonna have to sentence this center to seventy two
years in prison. Now, this is at the state federal level,
by the way. And here's why taking a photo of
just the is so that is a very challenging photo
to take. And I think that puts, you know, the receipt,
(54:08):
the recipient in a weird position. So I think it's
just like a weird It's like it is it sexual?
Is it is it for a project? Are you a doctor?
What is the reason you need to see my neck?
And so that's why it's just wrong.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
I so wanted to say, your dumbass, you could have
just took a took one of my pictures off the
profile and.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Just yeah, you know, I think your margin out there.
I think it's out there.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
My neck is there there?
Speaker 4 (54:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Okay, so that's it. That's just a boo. And what
did you say? Seventy two years? That's a good sentence.
That's a perfect sentence.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Okay, this one has so many layers, but I'm going
to go quick looking for two sister wives. Please make
my dreams come true. Exclamation point. He was wearing a
maga hat. No, and he messaged you, Why oh I get.
Speaker 3 (54:59):
So many magahas? Oh don't. I don't want to. I'm
just sorry. I just don't talk about I think I
should be free. I don't. Right, that's so under his eye.
I can't even get into it. Yep, how many please
sentence him? Judge Bowman. Please, he's standing before you in shackles.
(55:23):
What are you saying?
Speaker 4 (55:25):
Obey?
Speaker 3 (55:26):
Yeah, a place that he approved of. You started for this.
He liked it.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
He liked the first time. I was like fifteen years.
But then you said I'm back in all right, our
last and final one. Okay, Hi, I think I found
the one now. This man was cute as hal and
I was like, oh, so what you do is you
don't respond yet? You got to go read his profile.
This is the only thing that he said on his profile.
You women, you women are making me say you lost
(55:57):
get over it?
Speaker 3 (55:58):
What what does that mean? That's the election. That's the
only thing I can think of. You lost, get over it?
Oh my god. And you think you found the one, sir,
You didn't find You lost. You lost me. You lost
the one? Was he or was he?
Speaker 4 (56:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (56:14):
He was us? No?
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Wow? And I'm sorry, Ember, why'd you make me say
that out loud?
Speaker 4 (56:20):
But you did? Damn wow.
Speaker 3 (56:22):
That is they were like us. They were like us
at the same time they not like it. They're not
like us. Damn.
Speaker 4 (56:31):
Okay, Judge Bowman here listen, Okay, thank you, judge once again.
You know I want to be respectful and mindful of
everybody's time.
Speaker 3 (56:37):
Okay, thank you. Yeah, because the cases we got.
Speaker 4 (56:45):
Cases, if we keep the court speedy, I want to
I want to get right to the sentencing here. I
think that it's only fair that we sentenced this individual
to six hundred and thirty three volunteer work at a
democratic at a local Democratic door to door volunteer work organization.
(57:10):
He needs to learn what it's like to be on
the right side of history.
Speaker 3 (57:16):
You are the judge.
Speaker 1 (57:18):
Yeah, yeah, you are the best judge I've ever seen
and I've ever been in the courtroom with.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
And I am proud to be an attorney. You're training me.
Proud I chose the right profession.
Speaker 4 (57:27):
I'm handsome and that's true.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
You know, the most beautiful baby, the most beautiful baby, judge.
Let me put on something. Oh right, that's the end
of the Umber, Lacey, Lacy and Amber show. Everybody wants
to know, Hey, what's Bowman's deal? Like, where can I
(57:52):
hear and see more of him? Don't you stress?
Speaker 3 (57:54):
A little baby?
Speaker 1 (57:55):
Bowman can be seen on Roku starting December first, on
his hit show Made for TV with Bowman Martinez read.
Every episode follows Bowman as he tackles a new genre
of television with the help of a celebrity advisor and
sometimes real people.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
Look.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
The sixth episode series originally was on Canada's Crave and
now you can't fucking stop it. This shit is fucking everywhere.
Everybody's talking about Bowman Martinez read. Oh, but also he
was recently featured on Huffington Posts twenty twenty four culture Shifters.
Speaker 3 (58:32):
Cut.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
I know he's a culture shifter and Bowman also released
a hit debut single called I Have a Thing.
Speaker 4 (58:43):
Yeah Yeah. And on top of all of that, you
can also find me at the La County Courthouse. I
am there Friday afternoons and I'm working for the people.
Speaker 3 (58:58):
I'm working to serve the he is making a difference,
That's true. Are you so? Look at look at you?
Take a long look in the mirror every morning and
ask yourself. Am I a bowman? Are you? Guys?
Speaker 1 (59:11):
Thank you so much for tuning in. Here are our socials?
I'm at Amber Ruffin all over the place? Bowen, what
are your socials?
Speaker 4 (59:18):
Bowmanizer all over the place? Oh?
Speaker 3 (59:21):
What's your socials? Before I say it, shut up? Lacey
lamar One? Is my Lacey? Why is it Lacy lamar One?
Why isn't it just Lacey lamar Because I can't figure
out how to change the Lacey little.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
Now every time it makes me laugh so hard. I
just I tell Amber it could be three or four
by next week.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
I don't know. She don't know who knows. And that's real.
But you know what else is real? Our love for you.
Speaker 1 (59:53):
We will see you next week. Kiss yourself on the chip.
For us, it's pretty hard to do. But if you
figure it out. Take a video by The Amber and
Lacey Lacy and Amber Show is a production by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and
(01:00:15):
hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar. Executive produced by
Noah Avoar and Hans Sani. Super produced by Becca Raimos.
Because She's a Superhero co produced by Victor Wright, Edited
and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by David schmol
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, But.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Who cares because Christmas is the best. It's the Ember
Lazy Lacy and embersh jingle bills.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I noticed your song didn't rhyme. It doesn't matter it
rhymes because Christmas is in there. I guess that's true.
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Or I mean that yet more respect for Christmas than that? No,
but really, Christmas is the only thing that matters and
nothing else does. And I'm sorry, but people are they've
gotten their turkeys ready. Yeah, they're fighting in the stores
to grab whatever they can. Yeah, getting nutmeg and cinnamon
(00:52):
for those recipes.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I'm gonna go Thanksgiving food shopping today, okay, And when
I wake up, I'm going to put some greens in
the pot and then I'm gonna get the greens.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Are you having a friends giving?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm having an early Thanksgiving and then a real Thanksgiving later.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Okay, all right, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving?
I'm sure I will have several friendsgivings? Ah, fun.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, I'll pop around then I'm gotta we're not doing
a traditional big turkey with mom and dad.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
They love those turkey legs they do. There are so
many Okay, First of.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
All, everyone, there are a million turkey leg restaurants in Omaha, Nebraska.
They're popping up all over the place. Just go get
you a flavored turkey leg.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
How weird? Is that? What a whole thing? Talking about?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
A turkey leg restaurant just opened in Benson, and there's
several around Omaha where you just get turkey legs and
just have different flavors changing. Yeah, spe it, crunch it whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Now, I don't want to talk trash about these restaurants,
but I don't see them lasting forever.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I feel like it sounds fun. It sounds really fun.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
See that is just something fun. And I hate to
say it, but I'm might support them. I'm gonna go
grab my turkey legs. I'm sure they're gonna have a
million orders.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And I love turkey legs. You take me to the
medieval fair. What am I hold of turkey turkey legs?
She really universal.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Turkey leg she likes it.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But you know what, I don't think turkey leg is
a It's not like a turkizza level, Like it's not
like the time type of No, it absolutely isn't. That's
why I was like, I don't think this restaurant is
gonna be as famous.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
As they want it to be.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, because in the middle of the summer, I'm not
thinking turkey, Like, I don't know why, just not.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
No, Now, pizza eat that every day?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, you could eat pizza every day. Turkey, leg it's
the mood has to strike you. Sorry, everyone. So that's Thanksgiving, okay,
But none of that matters because Christmas is here. Christmas
is upon us. It was upon us starting Halloween. Marian
Carrey's right.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Also.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I was saying that and saying that, and then I
remembered years ago I sang a song on Late Night
Steff called Halloween is Christmas, and I was like, that
is Halloween is Christmas. I'm making a lot of people
mad right now. Good and guess what, we don't care.
Stay ahead, we stand on it. Stay ahead, I'll triple
down it. Santa Claus on my side. Who don't break
(03:35):
down Thanksgiving, don't let us break it down. I know
that's you don't want to, but we'll break it down
for you. I want you to have a good time.
You leave me alone, you can have a good time.
You keep pressing me like this, I'm gonna tell you
about your holiday you love so much.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
We'll come to your house. We'll keep writing white for
don't make us scroll up your house, scroll up to
your we'll come there. We'll scroll up better than just
rolling out our old ass grobe. And Okay, now thanks Giving?
Uh huh, what are you? We don't care. We'll hurt
(04:09):
your feelings. I can't help it.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Okay, Lacy, what else is happening in your life? Well,
I am here in Omaha, Nebraska.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
M Well try people here.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, what did you say say that? Well, it's a
good thing Trump didn't when ros said be a terrible
place to be.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Trump didn't win here. That's true. He didn't win on
your couch. He didn't win he's not and he didn't
win my heart. And he didn't win my house.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
No, oh my gosh, Lacey, Lacey, Lacy, what are we
be amvy. It's happening.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
It happened.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I feel like the first time. I guess we'll just
talk about Trump. I can't help it. The first time
he got get it out, I I thought, I don't
want to say this, but it is so true. First
time we got elected, I was a little sad, but
I thought it was hilarious, Like I mean, there's none
you can do.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
What the fuck you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Also, like everyone was so like, it was hilarious to
watch people be like, racism is real, as someone who
knew that since time began, so like to watch white
people be like what wait when always that's so great?
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So yeah, so now that we all know racism is real,
it's less fun. It's less fun.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yeah. And that day I need to tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I went so my mom just had a slight allergic
reaction and she had to go to the hospital. So
when I went to pick her up from the hospital,
they had taken her out of the room for a test,
and a doctor had just walked in in front of
me and he was waiting to talk to mom to.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Discharge her.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
So I walked in behind him and this is the
day after the election, and he turned and I'm everyone
is at high alert. Everyone's at high alert. First I
had walked into the hospital and a nurse said not today,
not today, and someone grabbed her arm to tell her
to calm down.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
She said, no, I'm sitting it and storm so we
knew what that was about. She looked at me. I
looked at her, and I was like, carry on, lady,
carry on. I get it. So I go up to
my mom's room.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
The doctor's in there, and he turns to me and
he says, now, listen, I gotta this might be offensive.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I said, then, guess what.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Don't say it. I said, when you lead with that,
that means it is going to be offensive. And you
don't have to say it. And I never say anything
about me writing a book, but I said, I wrote
a whole book on this. I wrote a whole book
on stupid sayings and racism. Don't say it. And he goes, uh,
you know, you know, you're you're you're absolutely right. Oh,
you're absolutely right. Okay, But what I wanted to ask you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now, how does your hair na? He said, does how
long does it take you to grow your hair like that?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And he had a mullet, a doctor with a mullet.
He had a little bit long in the back. And
I said, just as long as you take your hair,
I said, you're the doctor. Hair grows the same on
my head as it grows on your head, you know.
And I said, now again, that was a dumb question.
And I hate to educate people because you could have
googled that. Don't say that to another black person today.
(07:34):
Don't ask them how fast their hair grows, or why
it grows, or if it grows is fast.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You don't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And he goes, he goes back to I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
you're right, you're right right. Oh my god, I shouldn't
have said it. I shouldn't said yeah, you're right. And
then we sat there in silence till they brought mom back.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Uh uh uh uh. I can't hook that out the election.
You could get hurt. Fuck. Also, a man with a
mullet is taking care of my mom. Get her out
of it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Doctor M, doctor M, doctor M, doctor M. Was not
a civil rights leader.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You guys, the world that we live in. I'm on PRASCO.
They got doctors la mullets. They got doctors la mullets.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Oh my gosh, doctor mullet. I have something so sad
to say that. I don't know if we'll be able
to get the show back on track.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
We will.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
It's really sad. Oh no, maybe maybe I shouldn't say it.
It's too sad, and.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Then we'll cut it out if it's bad.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Oh great, yeah, we can cut it out if we
don't make it back.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I'm an editor.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
A side effect of Trump winning, my friend took her
child to the pediatric emergency room because the baby fails.
Baby's fine, but the baby fell and was bleeding. So
they took the baby to the emergency room and it
(09:07):
was full and they had to wait for hours, and
she was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Is it always like this?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
And the doctor goes, it's so many children on suicide
watch and this is the day after Trump one. Oh
that's it's not normally hours and hours. But yeah, these
kids are out here, they're feeling they are feeling it,
and they know what the fuck is coming.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It's not going to be great. It's not gonna be great.
But you know what is our podcast? Everybody, our podcast,
our podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Sometimes we cover some rough little things on here, but
the truth is the truth. So maybe you needed to
hear that today so that you could actually sit here it.
Maybe you thought this podcast was fun and about tissie
rolls and cotton candy, which it is. Dogs.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
You gotta think about these things, that's right, and uh,
now you know. But also Lacey, tell one happy story.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Tell one happy story. Oh no, Amber, my one happy story.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Now I am thinking, Okay, thank you Bay of getting
for my parents. I truly, truly, truly feel like they
need a dog. They do not feel like they need
a dog.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
But old people need need something to protect them.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
So I've been looking at dogs and I feel like
the next time Amber visits, oh, we might be picking
out a dog for our parents. So Amber, the next
time you visit, I feel like they just need a
medium sized dog. No one needs a totally.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Dad is totally in agreeance with Dad needs a dog
to love, and he does love a dog. He does
love time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
And it doesn't have to be a huge and a
monster dog. But Dad needs a sweet little doggie to
be his little companion.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
You know who's my little companion, Lacey Lamar, And you
know who's our little companion today? Hold up, you said
I was little. That's right, That's what I like.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Our companion today is Bowman Martinez. Read now, I know
what you're thinking. That last name is a rough and
it doesn't matter. He's our baby.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
This is our child. You know him from everywhere.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I mean him and his Kardashian TikTok is the fucking
funniest shit you've ever seen. He's got a new show out.
He also released a debut single called I Have a Thing.
His new show, you can see on Roku called Made
for TV with Bowman Martinez read and You're gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Love it and you're gonna love him just as much
as we do.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
So stick around after this, Welcome back to the Amber
and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
We have special guests today. So he is and very
few people know this our nephew.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I was just going to say the family. He looks
like one of our sweet, sweet little baby. We have
spoken one word to this child, yet it is too
late for him.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
His fate is sealed. We are your aunties.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Oh you don't kind of.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Similar, and you kind of do look like our nephew.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You do look like you could get in there. Yeah,
people would hand you a plate and not think twice.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
They're gonna just keep going. They don't know who you are. Yeah,
you're one of the nephews period.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
It'd be like, sweetheart, people are playing NBA two taen downstairs.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Would you like to do that? Alright? You have fun?
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Do you like that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
The newest video game reference I had was NBA. I'm
old and I feel like that's that's.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
What year?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
What I mean?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I would never have I don't even know a single
video then, only like Nintendo. So that's only like you're
still cooler than me.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I mean I woult have said centipede and you know
that's wrong. Here's some quarters, baby going down to the corner.
It was better than centipede.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's the ball?
Speaker 4 (13:30):
What that is?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
There was nothing.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It was a ball.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Seriously, that was like your controller was a ball. You
just knew that, aud you didn't have no skill.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Look, I cannot recommend Centipede to anyone who's not fifty.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
They would not have fun. They wouldn't. I'm sorry. It's
not enough. These children.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
They need lights, they need fashion, they need sixteen buttons.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, too many, but all that things.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
It's getting scary. It's getting scary. I actually often talk
about like if I was a kid today, like that's
so sad, Like what do you do? What do you do? Do?
They have imaginations? Like when I was a kid, like
we used to build snow forts and I like in
the in the playground and I was like we had
(14:21):
an office and I was like CEO. I was president
of the snow Ford Office. Like we were like using
our imaginations, and I genuinely wonder, like, what are they doing.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
They're not out, they're not doing that, They're not ingesting stuff.
Someone said this I heard, and it's so true. When's
the last time you saw a kid with a cast?
Nobody's jumping off anything? Oh my god, all the time,
and write their names on them.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I've seen child. Nobody's breaking anything. It's not right. We
gotta go out here, we gotta go break somewhere.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
We got.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Some kids.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Just you see a kid the grocery over literally their ankles,
like he'll be fine. We didn't even say what we say. No, wen, Hey,
everyone's Bowman Martinez Reader. This is the first time we've
(15:22):
done that. We talked forever, never said his name. I
feel fast, I felt special.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
We will have.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Part.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That's true, that's true, that's yeah, Hey everyone, it's our baby.
So Made for TV with Bowman Martinez Read is getting
us distribution starting December first, Rod Who. Each episode follows
Bowman as he tackles a new genre of television with
(15:50):
the help of celebrity advisors and real people. Y'all, things
are fixing to get super bucking cute Bowman Where.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Are you I'm in l A right now, although I
am originally from Toronto. Well I live in Toronto, so.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Okay, okay, stop stop stop stop? Yeah, can you can
you give me a citizenship?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Citizenships?
Speaker 3 (16:16):
What's back there? Citizenships?
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's so it's so you know what I can find.
I can try to find I can try to find one.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
If you handed them all out.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Yeah, there's a lot of people are asking.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I'll say that it's are you going to be buried
in two minutes?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Girl? It's so weird because it's like I am I'm
having a moment where I'm like, do I need to
be in Canada? Like I don't. Do I want to
be in Canada? Do I What is there for me here?
Like I kind of I feel like I've outgrown it
in a way. But at the same time, then I
see what my options are and it's just not it's
(16:53):
like looking grim, like it's looking grim. Now it could
be worse, Yeah, it could be. Why it could be worse,
I'll let you know because it could be.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
A year from now. That's gonna be real under his
under your.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
But I am from Canada. My boyfriend lives here. So
we go back and forth so.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
You can save one.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
You could at least say one. I could at least
save one.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Minute.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Is he from Canada?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
No, okay, they're gonna get and then he'll be saved.
It's gonna be great and they're going to adopt two
beautiful women.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Black women were there.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
I'll give you a nice home. We'll give you another.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, So, like what when you what is the time
split between Toronto and l A three hours? That's true.
What how much time do you in Toronto? And how
much time do you spend?
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I knew, good question. It's sorry. I understand the time split.
It's not there's no schedule to it. It's more so
I just try to come visit him whenever I can.
He will try to visit me whenever he can, although
it's more challenging for him to visit me because there's
nothing for him to really do in Toronto, whereas like
(18:28):
la is fun like that, I can do things here
like I can.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Also, it's warm.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
It's warm. He is from Arizona, so he doesn't understand
the concept of winter. We were actually last winter. He
came to visit me and he got dressed. I don't know,
are you guys from a cold climate. Like, have you
lived in a cold climate? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Nebraska, Nebraska, I'm here right now.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
It was cold. It was February in Toronto and he's
visiting me and he left the house and he was like, okay,
I'm ready to go, and he's wearing shorts. I was like, no, no,
you can't do that. He was like, well no, I
just like I'm tired of wearing pants. And I'm like,
you can't. Like, it's not even that you can't wear
it because you're going to be cold, it's that everybody's
(19:16):
going to look at you sideways, like people are going
to think you are crazy if you step out in shorts.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, you can't you wearing pants? Are you tired of
having legs free? Right off?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Exactly? So? I think, he I think. I don't know.
Maybe we'll get to a point where, like we split
time more evenly. He just like we just travel together.
But right now it is I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Want to be all in your business. Yeah, how long
have you guys been together?
Speaker 4 (19:45):
It's been a year and a half. Over a year
and a half.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's love. No, what are we doing for this moment?
Don't mess this up? Okay, don't mess it up.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Why spend as much time together as possible. Yeah, okay,
And if you decide to move to l A, just
do it. But if you can convince him to move
to Canada, do that too. I need you guys to
be together, Lacey. If I don't want this long distance thing,
I don't want me take you two seconds for Lacy
to fall in love with the thought of a couple
(20:17):
falling in love, I just love it, don't. I'm of
me and my partner wearing for our wedding on I
think when we were on the second date, it.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Was the second date, I was already was like, look
at this.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Is what you guys are gonna wear. Okay, wear the
other one's gonna wear a dress when it happens.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Planned. I already know what your suits. I already know
what your theme is.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
What are we gonna wear? What are we gonna wear?
What's our theme? And what are we gonna wear?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Your theme?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Okay, it's gonna be just a light It's it's you
know that pale gray, lavender color gray. I just said lavender.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Okay, it's almost like you know it's.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
A let's call it light lavin sure, Okay, that's those
are your colors?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I picture light lavender. Okay, you're doing light lavender. You
can pull off this car.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
What time is this a spring wedding? Like? Are we
getting and where are we? Is it destination? Is it
in Los Angeles? Are we in Toronto? Like? Where am
I I need you? Like? If you're going to play
my wedding like I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Paying you, you're you're in Toronto?
Speaker 4 (21:21):
I'm in Toronto. Whose decision was that?
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I said what I said?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And there are spur coats they can be but there's
there's spur coats. Your bridesmaids and your your your bridesmans
that have muffs.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Muffs? Do you know what muffs are?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I do?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
That's the thing. You can't get out of it. You've
already hired.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Me, Lacy. I think we should have a difficult conversation.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I think we should terminate your position on my wedding
planning team.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You can't you signed away sign the form I three
years hiring? Are you trying to do a warm wedding?
Are you trying to do are you trying to do
like a wedding in the in the in the Caribbean?
Speaker 4 (22:07):
What are you trying to do I think I want
a destination wedding. I want a memory. I want an experience.
I want to think of if I'm going to get married,
I want to like think about that felt like a
like a dream, you know what I mean. Like when
I see people getting married and like Italy, I'm like,
(22:28):
that is right, even if it's a small wedding. It's
like that just feels like such a special experience for
everyone rather than just for me and whoever I'm marrying.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
As a wedding planner, Destination weddings are they're they're going down.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
People can't afford them, they don't want to go. Let's
bring all the friends are written.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
I'll see what I can do.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
After this podcast, I'll have a new one written for you.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Lazy, Like if you're going to be saying this, like
I normally.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Don't like people telling me what their weddings are going
to be, I'm gonna let you do this just once.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Can you imagine if that was your big sister? Can
you imagine it? You would never Okay has no choice.
I'm suffering.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Maybe I need the direction of my like I need
some direction, like I need I need you do. I
think I need that.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
I do. I'm gonna have.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I'm gonna say is you can have whatever wedding you want.
Just don't don't mess this up. If this is love,
don't mess it up. Okay, So, Lacy, why are you
so romantic today?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Because I think it's cute.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It is cute, It is cute, you know what, it
is cute long.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
But also if they're not the person you let me
know I'm there, do they ever?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Don't ever tell her that someone did anything wrong, someone
needs something wrong to my favorite guess. Every time someone
hurts your feelings, do not tell Lacey. Don't ever say it.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
This boy would never hurt my feelings. He is Okay,
look I'm back, and he's the sweetest little angel, like
he just is. Everybody loves him. My family loves him,
my friends love him. I was here last week and
my friends back home were like begging for us to
all get online and play Nintendo together because like, they
(24:14):
just love him so much.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
He just he just said Angel, and I'm picturing angel
wings at the wedding.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Okay, we're back. Also there Angel by Anita Baker. Oh,
they have no idea who that is?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Okay, all right, He's like, you need a bakery.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Well, I know a guy.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Okay, we will never this is my solemn bow. We
will never get to what it is we're supposed to
be talking about.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
And that's okay because we're all in woe in love.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
We just love love. Okay, Now, Lacey, who are you
in love with? Am I in love with me? I'm
not in love with well, I'm in love with the baby.
Who have I been? And let you know what this is.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I'm gonna turn it on a sad, sad moment. No,
I'm not Who am I with anyone in any sci
fi show? You know I'm a sci fier. I've been
watching all my little sci fi shows.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
That's all I have.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, I don't have anybody I'm in love with right now,
and that's why I'm living vicariously through you and Amber.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah, I'm planning your weddings. Oh yeah, we're gonna have
some terrible waits.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Like, guy, I'm.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Sewing the lavender earmuf.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Muffs.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
What's the different?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I didn't know what about you, but your your hands
are holding each other a big.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Got worse.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Ray, I have to tell you, I thought sound like
a great idea. Everybody words for what he can't see.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
He can't see my vision. He can't say.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
I like, uh, you.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
A look book?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
No, I got your look book. I got it. I
can't wait for you to be like, oh my god,
I'm so I apologize. Sorry. You're gonna be like Italy
who needed that? Bring the Toronto wedding.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
You don't be like the way people humorous should be studied.
I get people to be nice to us, even though
we behave the way we do tell what they don't want.
You're loudly screaming what you don't want and then tripling
down on it. I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
It's okay, it's reminding me of what I do want.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Okay, all right, Amber, what else are we doing? Okay?
Speaker 1 (27:04):
So today's episode is friendsgiving friends Giving. Actually it should
just be Thanksgiving because we're family. So I'm sorry, today's
Thanksgiving because us and the baby.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So, in the theme of Thanksgiving, we're gonna give to
a segment we have called oh wait, we should.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Go to commercial.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
We'll go to commercial, and when we get back, we're
gonna do all kinds of shit. You you mind your business.
You you sit down and you shut up, and then
when you get back, there'll be more of this. Welcome
(27:51):
back to the Amber, Lacy, Lacy and Amber show. Our
guest is our closest nephew. We were there our favorite
when he was born. Yeah, he's our favorite baby.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
His name is You named him? I named she? Okay,
so gave the idea that baby looks like a bowman.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
He was.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Bowman was my first boyfriend in kindergarten. And that's where
it came from. Is that real? Like a cute little baby? No?
I made that up, Amber crazy, That light was too real.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Kenya Crandall, Kenya Crandall was my first boyfriend in kindergarten.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
That's neither here nor there. A boy named Kenya. His
name was Kenya. Oh that's cute. Yeah he's some.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
He's some, like amazing coach in Florida, now basketball coach
ken You for listening, all right, that's all I got. Okay, Now,
this is a real story, that's real, and after this,
I swear to God we will get on track.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
To jump on track.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Lacey joked and was like, I chose the name Bowman,
but this is real. Our oldest sister went into labor
while we were hanging out. Lacey and I take her
to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Is this that one? Whatever?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
We're in the hospital with this woman she is having
the baby goes too fast. The doctor comes in as
a and is like, you grab a legg you grab
an egg. Me and Lacie holding Crystal's legs. Crystal poops
out the baby. We see the whole thing. She pooped
out the baby, and then you know, she's like filled
with drugs. She's trying to say what the baby's name
(29:18):
is going to be. She's she's she's drug addict. She
doesn't know what she's talking about. We decide the baby's
name is Miles. I was like, what the hell are
you talking about?
Speaker 4 (29:35):
You named it? Why?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
We said Miles? She had no sight? Now what is
that child's name today? Christopher? She will like, fucking we
were right.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Actually my name was almost Miles. Oh my name almost
Miles Davis.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Oh that's nice. That's right, that's just as nice. And
I'm glad. I'm glad I chose it. I'm glad.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
I thank you for the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I mean, what makes me laugh so hard because when
you joke about being bad, it's a thing we actually did,
did totally bard. We took over someone's But she was
like this a moment, drugged up. She could have said
her moment, we couldn't trust what she was going to say.
She could have said, we had to take over, and
you should have been interest. We're trying to save the
(30:32):
baby exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
She could have said, Beauregard red cut. That is the name.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Actually, my father sometimes calls me, oh, look, and now
we're back on someone.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Anything you're saying, you could have been like my dad
calls me poopy head, and we.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Would be like, oh, okay, welcome back to the Amber Show.
We're back on track. Okay everyone, we're done being bad
right now. We're going to It's it's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Okay, yeah, Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Thanksgiving, So everyone eat turkey, or if you're smart, eat chicken.
Turkey is not as good as chicken. Got the turkey.
Cook a chicken, you know you'd rather have chicken.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Actually, we do a ham, if if if we're going
to talk about it, we do a ham. It's the
best meal.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Do you make it or do you order one of
those big we.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
We get We get it from the grocery store, a
ham unmade and we this the Secret family recipe that
I'll that is no longer a secret. Is we douse
it in clothes, clothes all over the ham, and then
we wrap it in bacon, put it in the oven.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
And it is so delicious you wrap the ham and bacon.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeah, that sounds very very serious.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Oh yay, I love it in him.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I'm going to buy Thanksgiving food tonight so that I
can have a Thanksgiving because I love Thanksgiving food. Also unrelated,
I have to put up the Christmas tree a week
before the two weeks two weeks before thanks.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yes, mafu.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Yeah, so I'm foreign and now you may or may
not know this Canadian Thanksgiving is in October. What.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So my question is when people say, like it's time
for the holidays, is does that does that mean Thanksgiving
and Christmas? Like are those so close together that like
they're tied together? Like the Christmas tree is also a
symbol of Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
It is, but with the rough in family amber and
I the minute Halloween is on the on the same
it's Christmas, it's Christmas. Okay, we don't care about Thanksgiving,
right Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
We're straight. Halloween is Christmas, Halloween is Christmas.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Then little kids come to the door. Mary's a candy.
Put the tree up when you get home. It's Merry
Christmas in there.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
It's Mary going up soon.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
We're terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
The tree is going up soon. I'm so excited. I
can't believe I lived without him.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
It is I it's late for me. I'll put that
thing up November first.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
And I.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Saw that Tan France puts his up on Halloween. I
am all for that.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Okay, that's dramatic, that's true.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Okay, So if we I think what was our question
that we let's just ask it.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
If we are going to a friendsgiving potluck, but what
you bring to the party? What would you bring to
a potluck? That's a trick question for me because I
don't want to eat nothing and nobody is a scary
word for me. Why you say that because people have cats.
I'm bringing to a potluck dessert.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I always want dessert. There's no amount of dessert you
have that is enough.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dessert, And sometimes desserts all the food there is because
people make weird meat and stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
It's good sometimes, but sometimes if there's a pot luck
and everybody brings dessert, then it's a stomach ache.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Yes, I want that.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
You want that.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yes, I would like to have it to Okay, we
want to eat too much.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
I feel like I'm lazy. So I'm going to bring cups, plates, napkins.
If I'm feeling motivated. Here's what I'll bring. Christmas Ham
talks about the Christmas Ham, so we're not going to
do that. Instead, I'm going to bring Spanish tortillas, as
(34:51):
in from Spain. Have you ever had it? No?
Speaker 3 (34:55):
No, what's the difference. I'm not opposed to.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So tortilla in Spain is not It's not like for tacos.
It's it's like a potato. It's like a hash brown.
It's like a big hash brown. I'm already it's like
potato potato. It is okay, so good, and it's like fried.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Oh I want that.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I'll take that of our Christmas Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I'm serving that at the wedding reception. That sounds delucious.
She hasn't forgotten, Lacy.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
What are you bringing?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
I'm gonna bring mashed potatoes and gravy and maybe stuffing.
I'm just gonna bring the basics. It's Thanksgiving pot Look,
people want that Thanksgiving flavor.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, I don't care. I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Guys, I don't really care about a turkey thing now
is like people are doing just turkey legs. I could
do that, but turkey to me is dry. Turkey legs
are okay. But ham, that's like my that's my go
to is the ham.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
I love that Ham.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I don't understand turkey, and I don't understand why it's not.
It's like forbidden to season the turkey to marinate the Like,
why does the turkey have to be It tastes like
air to me, It's like it's like hard, chewy air.
Why why we've created that, We've created a need for gravy.
(36:14):
There's there shouldn't be a need for gravy if we
season the turkey. Nobody eats chicken with salt pepper. I
mean maybe maybe maybe people do. My house, we do
not eat salt pepper chicken. I don't know. I shall
get it.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
You mean our house?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Our house?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Oh will you tell us about your show made for TV?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
I would love to so. My show made for TV
follows me as I am determined to prove that I
am made for TV. Each episode I take on a
different reality TV genre. We do dating, we do cooking,
we do news, We do sports, we do drag, and
(36:57):
we do Kardashians wives. And each episode of celebrity guest
from each prospective genre is taking me on a journey
as I test out all of these different genres and
they all it all ends with the final challenge. The
show is stupid. It is dumb. It is so dumb.
(37:20):
I am me. But at the same time, I'm playing
a very heightened version of myself. I think that people
will watch it and go is this real? Was this
supposed to happen? Which is I think is our favorite
way to watch unscripted TV. Yeah, it's a fun, fun show.
It'll be on Roku December. First. I am so excited
(37:46):
for people to see this show. It's stupid.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
And my question for you watching my question for me.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Two. If you could test a reality TV genre, what
would you test?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I want a dating show where I force people to
date Lacey. Sorry, I forced Lacy to date the people
I've chosen.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Oh why does that bother you? Like? Why are you?
Why are you listen?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Amber did throw this around? First of all, I don't
want cameras following me around in a real situation.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
I don't want that. You have to I'm gonna stay sir,
that's dumb. That's gonna make me look like they're gonna
be like that lady is such a bitch like I can't.
I won't be able to be like, oh my god,
that's so great.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I'm gonna have the same fucking reaction to all these
idiotic dates, and I'm just gonna look like angry, bitter lady.
There ain't but two decent men left in the world,
and Amber's gonna bring me eighty five.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I'm gonna be needs.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
You not. I think a great show.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's a show, okay, well you show.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
There was a show once upon a time called Playing
it Straight, and it was a girl in a house
with a bunch of men, and half the men were
straight and half of them were not. And it was
her job to end up with the straight man so
that they both get the money. If she does not,
then the man that she the man that lied to her,
(39:10):
gets all the money. Oh it was such a good show.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (39:16):
I think that's a perfect show for you, le lazy.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
That is because I could find it. Believe me, Amber knows,
I'd never been wrong. Never I walk in and be
like you married today one I could do it.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
That's a very good idea. Did she what happened at
the end of that show? Do you know what happened?
I feel like I want to watch this now.
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I actually don't. I remember watching it. It's like a
British watch it. So I was watching on you watch it,
don't think you could find it today. I'm watching it
go straight to the end. It was thrilling. It was
so interesting.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Yeah, that really sounds great. Amber and I joked about
doing a show called.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
What was it rough in it? Yeah, remember we're talking
about this and just.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Doing shit that we would never do, like Lacy and
Amber go camping. I was like, all these episodes are
going to be two minutes long.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Two minutes because I'm.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Not going on our rents. We're doing Cali wresting. No
thank you, no not bug touch me. I have to
go home.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
So you want me to do what I have to
try to recover? Okay, listen up, everyone, We're back on track. Look,
it's Thanksgiving. We're with our family. It's our favorite thing
to do on Thanksgiving, which is Sister Court Do Do
Do Do Do Do.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
And Sister Court.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
These two sisters, you know, prosecute case and The case
was sentenced by one of our listeners emailed to Amber
and Lacey Advice at gmail dot com. We received the
email and we chose not we are producers. Chose three
cases where we're going to read your problems and tell
(40:59):
you who's in a who's guilty, and most likely who's
a quote bitch who needs to.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Shut up? I mean that's usually how it's usually what
the ruling.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Is something like that, okay, And presiding over the sister
court is Judge Bowman. Judge Bowman will have the final
say on who's cute and who's not. Just throwing a
whole bunch of mess in there, but yeah, I'm bad, okay.
(41:31):
Scenario number one. My mom and aunt keep complaining about
doing all the work during the holidays. For as long
as I can remember, my mom and aunt have traded
off duties and hosting for the holidays. For the past
few years, they've complained that they do all the work.
My siblings, cousins, and I are more than willing to
host for some of the holidays. We don't have houses,
but we do have nice apartments. When we push the
(41:52):
idea of one of us hosting the holidays to my mom,
and not. They rejected the idea, So now they've gone
back to complaining about doing all the work hosting.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
What should we do, la Sie? They don't want to
go to your nasty apartment. They don't want to go there.
They're never gonna go. They're never gonna go, Shirley. What
they want to do? They want to complain.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Hell, I'm fifty, I'm almost there. I just want to complain. Yeah,
but I don't want to go to your house, or
I don't want you touching the food. You can't cook
like I can cook. I'm gonna complain. We're all gonna eat.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
This is your life. Now.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Before you walk in the door, you turn to whoever,
your significant other, your friend and say, these old ladies are.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Gonna complain, but we're gonna have a good time. It's
what they do.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
My mom complains every day. It's wush does She's never
gonna stop. No, I don't know what I'm If I
get there, I might be that person just just be like, oh,
is there anything I can do to help? No, hand
me the napkins.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
That's why this is your life. You can't let you
cook the turkey. You think they're gonna let you touch
the turkey, Shirlean and do the dressing.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
You're they're not gonna do. They don't want to eat
your ship. They want to make it with their special
touches and complain that they made it. What they want
from you to be like is look that they did.
All this is wonderful, so they want Okay, counter feeling.
You let these old bitches have it be coming to
me complaining. I'll offer to help you, no fucking way.
Either you let me do something or you shut up
(43:06):
because this is my holiday too. You don't get to
have everything. I'm trying to have a nice time. I
brought the company and now I'm embarrassed because you're behaving crazy.
So you don't get this weird turkey because one day
you're going to be too old and we can't come
over here.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
No more weird turkey. Look, I just like to be contrary,
she does. I don't kind of mean that a little bit.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
Judge Bowman, Yeah, Judge Bowman here, okay, I feel I
would like to open the case more and you know,
maybe get into the ce gritty. You know, what do
the apartments look like? How old are the young people?
If they are, I think the age matters here. If
they are thirty plus, I think maybe it is time
(43:52):
that you clean up your apartment and have a nice
apartment and host. If they are twenty to thirty, I
think you're still a kid. You should not be hosting mommy, daddy,
daddy's siblings, mommy siblings for Thanksgiving. That's weird. Now here's
what I will say. I am going to have to
(44:14):
rule that the children are guilty and deserve life without parole.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
And hey, I like a harsh sentiment.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Here's why show up and help challenge Like, show up
and if you're your parents are not complaining because they
don't want to host, they're complaining because they're doing all
the work. And all they have to do is step
up and help. Come early, help clean, help make the table,
(44:47):
bring some food, bring some food, show up with a
cake challenge.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Right, lots of people have Excel spreadsheet and everybody signs.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Up for this and that.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
Yeah, I heard about those. That is my ruling.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Okay, I agree with you, judge, Thank you, enjoy life
and my career with you. Your honor. These people got
they do you better watch out. Okay, I'm gonna I
have the next one.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Okay, this one is do you ask for your family
heirloom back from an ex daughter in law? When I
moved from my house to an apartment in a retirement community,
we gave my son and daughter in law some family
heirloms we thought wouldn't fit in the apartment.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
Since then, they've.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Separated, and it turns out we have more room in
our apartment than we thought. Is it rude to ask
for our stuff back?
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Yes, it's rude.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Do it?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Who cares? Who cares? Take the stuff back? Take it back?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Also, like, did you give it to them and be
like this will be passed down through generations?
Speaker 3 (45:46):
And then now it's not.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
That's I think that's now that that grounds for snatching
it back. I think it's time for a snatchback. Amber, Yes,
I do again, Amber and I don't normally agree, but
I what is that heirloom called? It's called family heirloom.
The ain't no friends heirloom hairlom, it's family heirloom. And Charlene, yes,
(46:11):
this is the same Charlene. Charlene, what's the last as
because you cheating?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
No, no, ma'am, you don't get to keep my grandmama's bowl.
You don't get to keep it.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I'll come get it right now, Hold on a minute,
I'm coming to get it. I'm coming to get that.
It's family heirloom. I just the one my boy, my
son used to date heirloom. You don't get out of here,
Judge Bowman here, sorry, Judge Bowman. Judge Bowman, Judge Bowman
here on the case. Yeah, hey, listen, guys, you know
this is a sticky one.
Speaker 4 (46:42):
I am I am going to I'm gonna I don't
want to waste anybody's time here in the court.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Please don't have to.
Speaker 4 (46:50):
I'm going to have.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
Please don't judge, because I'm you side with.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
The incredible team of lawyers uh Lacy and Amber and
say that it's time to give the stuff back. There
was no reason for them to have it in the
first place, or to to assume that they would have
it forever is out of the margin of possibility. Uh
(47:20):
So I'm going to have to go ahead. And also
I'm going to have to sentence the keepers of the
family heirlooms life without role because they created an environment
that made it feel like it was rude to ask
for this stuff back, which is not right. So that's
(47:44):
my ruling.
Speaker 5 (47:46):
I make a mistake around, Judge Bowman said, Judge Judge, okkay,
all right, this is the last last.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
My husband says that I should stand by him and
not acknowledge our neighbor he recently got in a fight with.
I don't know what happened exactly, but our neighbor still
says hi to me and my daughter.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
What should I do?
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Give him the cold shoulder or ignore him? I think
they mean give him the cold shoulder or talk to
him lace Okay. Now, first of all, Amber already said
this earlier in the podcast.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
Are you cross somebody? You better not?
Speaker 4 (48:31):
You?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Size is something around Amber? And then I'm gonna see them.
Oh hi, Harry, you better not. That's just how that's
that's that's how family is.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
And if you feel like you can't do it, I
need to just sit in your car and listen to
I Don't give a fuck by JJ.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
Listen to that about about twenty times. That'll get you
prep to get out of your car.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
And then will they come up and talk to you?
You will be you will be pumped. Did somebody say
something and just keep walking?
Speaker 3 (48:57):
No, that's not what we do. You bet he better
and not look out the window and see you chatting.
I know that's right. Better his grounds for divorce? How mad?
I will fucking be. I got into a fight and.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
You are on my back, look and you hit fucking
how's the weather, bitch?
Speaker 4 (49:16):
How's the weather?
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Fucking stormy as fuck?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
If you run around here talking to this neighborhood and
shin no fucking way, I'm sorry. The only time he
should be looking you in the eye is when you're
like taking a dump on his front lawn with your
little fingers up. No fucking way knowing that enemy or enemy,
that's it. Those are your only options.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
Yeah, hey, guys, Judge Bowman here, I want to make
this quick. I want to make this quick, but first
I want to dive into some of the terms here
and get a better understanding of how we are defining
some of the vocabulary used in this case. You know, what,
how are we defining as a neighbor? Or do they
(50:00):
live above you? Do they live beside you apartment home?
Are you outside seeing them often? Is this an uncomfortable
situation for all parties involved? And what's more, how long
have you lived there? And what is the relationship like
with this neighbor? Are they a childhood friend? From high school.
Are they a neighbor that you've known for a year.
(50:22):
So these are the types of things that we want
to consider when we're looking at this case and when
we're looking into those terms. But I'll say this, most
parties involved are very guilty, aside from the party of
the husband, I guess that didn't. Yeah, the husband is
(50:43):
very innocent. The husband deserves the keys to the city
because all they did was stand for what they believe in.
It is up to the wife, right, it is up
to the wife to stand with the husband on the
grounds of principle, the family should move as a unit, and.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
I feel opposed to them.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
The family should move as a unit, and I feel
like if there is a divide, then we know that's
when we start getting into grounds for divorce, nasty bit
or divorce and so. And the neighbor should not be
engaging with the speuse of someone that they just had
a horrendous altercation with and to assume that that person
(51:31):
owes them any sort of niceties is an egregious assumption.
So here's my ruling. Seven hundred and sixty hours of
community service, oh for the party of the neighbor, as
well as the wife, and they will have to do
this together, and I'd hope that they would find common
(51:55):
ground and be able to work something out between the
two parties. The husband stays free of jail, but I
will revoke his license.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Okay, these are like this is No one has done
such a thorough ruling in any of these cases that
we've hand giving thought.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Yeah, best judge we've had.
Speaker 4 (52:19):
When we're talking about Supreme Court justices. They need someone
like me that's on the panel.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
They need you in there. You either don't get life
or that's it. There is no. He's not joking around here.
He's not your community or serve time. Lacey. Oh lord,
this is a secret question. Do you have a d MS?
I do, But do we have time? We do have
(52:46):
time for the fastest we have been Willy nilly. These
are all fast dms. These are all hard nos.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Hey, everybody, this is a segment called please slide out
of Lacey's DMS. It's where real men have d M.
This woman on a dating app. Some shit you ain
never gonna believe. Okay, Lacy, please hit us with today's
DM Top three four today are.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
And this is true. Please send me a picture of
just your neck?
Speaker 4 (53:14):
What? No? What?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
And these are I feel really bad that I didn't
respond to any of these. Normally I might say a
little something funny or just no, just I don't have
time for this.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
I'm busy. Please send me a picture of just your neck. Amber.
What do you think about that? That message? I think
you should give him a chance. Okay Bowman, what do
you feel about that message?
Speaker 4 (53:38):
Hey, guys, judge Bowman here.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Thank you. He's still the fucking judge.
Speaker 4 (53:46):
I'm gonna have to sentence this center to seventy two
years in prison. Now, this is at the state federal level,
by the way. And here's why taking a photo of
just the is so that is a very challenging photo
to take. And I think that puts, you know, the receipt,
(54:08):
the recipient in a weird position. So I think it's
just like a weird It's like it is it sexual?
Is it is it for a project? Are you a doctor?
What is the reason you need to see my neck?
And so that's why it's just wrong.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
I so wanted to say, your dumbass, you could have
just took a took one of my pictures off the
profile and.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Just yeah, you know, I think your margin out there.
I think it's out there.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
My neck is there there?
Speaker 4 (54:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Okay, so that's it. That's just a boo. And what
did you say? Seventy two years? That's a good sentence.
That's a perfect sentence.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Okay, this one has so many layers, but I'm going
to go quick looking for two sister wives. Please make
my dreams come true. Exclamation point. He was wearing a
maga hat. No, and he messaged you, Why oh I get.
Speaker 3 (54:59):
So many magahas? Oh don't. I don't want to. I'm
just sorry. I just don't talk about I think I
should be free. I don't. Right, that's so under his eye.
I can't even get into it. Yep, how many please
sentence him? Judge Bowman. Please, he's standing before you in shackles.
(55:23):
What are you saying?
Speaker 4 (55:25):
Obey?
Speaker 3 (55:26):
Yeah, a place that he approved of. You started for this.
He liked it.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
He liked the first time. I was like fifteen years.
But then you said I'm back in all right, our
last and final one. Okay, Hi, I think I found
the one now. This man was cute as hal and
I was like, oh, so what you do is you
don't respond yet? You got to go read his profile.
This is the only thing that he said on his profile.
You women, you women are making me say you lost
(55:57):
get over it?
Speaker 3 (55:58):
What what does that mean? That's the election. That's the
only thing I can think of. You lost, get over it?
Oh my god. And you think you found the one, sir,
You didn't find You lost. You lost me. You lost
the one? Was he or was he?
Speaker 4 (56:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (56:14):
He was us? No?
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Wow? And I'm sorry, Ember, why'd you make me say
that out loud?
Speaker 4 (56:20):
But you did? Damn wow.
Speaker 3 (56:22):
That is they were like us. They were like us
at the same time they not like it. They're not
like us. Damn.
Speaker 4 (56:31):
Okay, Judge Bowman here listen, Okay, thank you, judge once again.
You know I want to be respectful and mindful of
everybody's time.
Speaker 3 (56:37):
Okay, thank you. Yeah, because the cases we got.
Speaker 4 (56:45):
Cases, if we keep the court speedy, I want to
I want to get right to the sentencing here. I
think that it's only fair that we sentenced this individual
to six hundred and thirty three volunteer work at a
democratic at a local Democratic door to door volunteer work organization.
(57:10):
He needs to learn what it's like to be on
the right side of history.
Speaker 3 (57:16):
You are the judge.
Speaker 1 (57:18):
Yeah, yeah, you are the best judge I've ever seen
and I've ever been in the courtroom with.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
And I am proud to be an attorney. You're training me.
Proud I chose the right profession.
Speaker 4 (57:27):
I'm handsome and that's true.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
You know, the most beautiful baby, the most beautiful baby, judge.
Let me put on something. Oh right, that's the end
of the Umber, Lacey, Lacy and Amber show. Everybody wants
to know, Hey, what's Bowman's deal? Like, where can I
(57:52):
hear and see more of him? Don't you stress?
Speaker 3 (57:54):
A little baby?
Speaker 1 (57:55):
Bowman can be seen on Roku starting December first, on
his hit show Made for TV with Bowman Martinez read.
Every episode follows Bowman as he tackles a new genre
of television with the help of a celebrity advisor and
sometimes real people.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
Look.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
The sixth episode series originally was on Canada's Crave and
now you can't fucking stop it. This shit is fucking everywhere.
Everybody's talking about Bowman Martinez read. Oh, but also he
was recently featured on Huffington Posts twenty twenty four culture Shifters.
Speaker 3 (58:32):
Cut.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
I know he's a culture shifter and Bowman also released
a hit debut single called I Have a Thing.
Speaker 4 (58:43):
Yeah Yeah. And on top of all of that, you
can also find me at the La County Courthouse. I
am there Friday afternoons and I'm working for the people.
Speaker 3 (58:58):
I'm working to serve the he is making a difference,
That's true. Are you so? Look at look at you?
Take a long look in the mirror every morning and
ask yourself. Am I a bowman? Are you? Guys?
Speaker 1 (59:11):
Thank you so much for tuning in. Here are our socials?
I'm at Amber Ruffin all over the place? Bowen, what
are your socials?
Speaker 4 (59:18):
Bowmanizer all over the place? Oh?
Speaker 3 (59:21):
What's your socials? Before I say it, shut up? Lacey
lamar One? Is my Lacey? Why is it Lacy lamar One?
Why isn't it just Lacey lamar Because I can't figure
out how to change the Lacey little.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
Now every time it makes me laugh so hard. I
just I tell Amber it could be three or four
by next week.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
I don't know. She don't know who knows. And that's real.
But you know what else is real? Our love for you.
Speaker 1 (59:53):
We will see you next week. Kiss yourself on the chip.
For us, it's pretty hard to do. But if you
figure it out. Take a video by The Amber and
Lacey Lacy and Amber Show is a production by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and
(01:00:15):
hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar. Executive produced by
Noah Avoar and Hans Sani. Super produced by Becca Raimos.
Because She's a Superhero co produced by Victor Wright, Edited
and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by David schmol
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