November 1, 2023 • 50 mins
Amber and Lacey are totally on board for a Celine Dion concert. They clink glasses for the hilariously entertaining raconteur Dulcé Sloan, who's nailing it in the personal accomplishment game. Dulcé? She's all about those Korean Dramas, and it's a full-on K-Drama showdown in the 'Celebrity Expert Quiz!' Amber, Lacey, and Dulcé join forces to untangle the knots in people's puzzling situations, delivering advice that's as rare as a unicorn sighting...but much funnier!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, here we go. It's time to rest show. So
don't cause us by listening you're related to us. It's
the Amber and Lacey Lazy and Ambers Show. Oh my dad,
Hello family, ha ha, you have to be your dad.
(00:21):
Amber keeps looking at me. Lacey talked to me. Do something.
Ember stinks.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Lacey stinks more than I stink, but also I stink
a better stink.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh my good, see what I had to grow up with.
All right, everybody, Welcome to the Amber and Lacey, Lacey
and Amber Show. This podcast is away for us to
help you get to know new friends through fun end games. Amber,
let me tell you about my life, about your life
if you talk bad about me, because you know what
I'm gonna say. I saw another Netflix show and I
(00:59):
feel like you would if you don't stop it. Stop it.
You're making a face. It was Love Again. Did you
watch it? Did you watch nothing else? But I want
to know it's it was Selene Beyond. It is like
a Selene Beyond advertisement. Who cares about the story. The
story is okay, but it's the fact that the guy
in it has the interviewing Selene Beyond for his for
(01:22):
his job. I think he's like a music critic or whatever.
It is so wonderful and it's so cute, only because Amber,
you know, I love Selena? What song do I make
you play? Love it? I love it? What's song? And
that's the way it is. No, it's it'll come to me.
But she has a new song on there. It's the
(01:43):
title of the movie and it's called love Again, and
I play it over and over again. I love it
so much. That's that is my new thing. It is
so unkay and I'm in it. Oh wow, Okay, I
didn't know that when quick cameo okay, oh wow, because
(02:05):
I don't remember you telling me you were flying to
It was a movie. They filmed it in Canada, so
that's why it's ound of your damn business. They probably
did film out in Canada because you know celeinion and
going to Canada, go to Toronto. You want to see Selene.
She's busy and lazy. Oh sorry, and Lacey, Wait, doesn't
(02:25):
she have her show in Vegas? Because that's why I
want to see I want I don't see Vegas. This
show made me want to go see a Selenion concert.
Loved it so much. She can really their day. Me
and one of my best friends Molly. They say, you know, Molly,
we're sitting around watching PBS and it was you know
(02:45):
those hey donate now and blah blah blah. Here's a
Luther Vandros concert and we were like, hmm, this is
pretty great. And then after that it was a Selen
Dion concert and I was like, I guess I would
see a Selene Dion concert. I don't think about Celenion
very much, but when you list her songs, it's like
(03:06):
a billion songs, millions. I know three selenops waiting for you.
I love so much You're inside mud. I don't know
if I can even sing those songs on this podcast,
but I do. I think you can. And I just
wrote in and said, sing more of her songs. I
(03:30):
made her listen that a million times in the car
when we were driving around New York. Do you remember that?
No love that song, but I believe you I love it.
Oh yeah, that's that song with that very good harmony
in it. Oh yeah, that's good. I just love a
strong two part harmony on the chorus of a song.
(03:51):
So good. Sorry, it's good, it's good, and it's good
for you. Everyone. This has been old white people with
Lacy Ramberg. And I need to tell you too, she
looks really good. Like I think they've been doctoring up
her face on Facebook, making her look distorted and nine
(04:14):
hundred years old. She looked great. Nope, she's never looking
different the day in her life she met her, she
looks exactly the same. She does changed well, and I
love it. You know she ain't missing around. You know
she's like drinking beers and eating pizza or nothing. She's not.
She's here to work, Yes she does. She eats kalae honey,
(04:35):
drinking oxygen. That's all she does is kale and oxygen.
Poor thing, that's all she needs. That's why she looks
so good. Yep, not me. That's why I look like
the bottom of a shoe because I'll eat whatever soys
to meet. Sister just said she looks like the bottom
of the shoe, and she does not. Amber looks great.
(04:57):
And I'm always saying them, because you look like me.
If you look like a of a shoe, then I
do it. I know I don't look like the bottom
of a shoe. You look like the before picture. Oh
your face regimen, what are you doing? Are you still
using a stick to wash your face. Have you gotten
(05:17):
any better? I was given a regimen by the lady
who did my makeup for the pilot, and I still
follow that regimen unless I forget or don't want to.
And so that means how often do you do it?
A week? Two times? Almost all the time? Okay? And
have you seen a difference in your skin? I did
(05:37):
when I was doing it regularly, but now I'm kind
of dicking around. I gotta be honest. Okay, stop doing
that and follow your regimen, please, because I need you
to look just as beautiful as I am for the
rest of our lives. Oh okay, you better get two
wigs and be like I'm lazy. I remember when you
(06:00):
have an award ceremonies. I gotta run and change really fast. Yeah,
the audience will be like yay, and then run back up.
I'm doing it. It's gonna be great, you guys. Welcome
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Today.
Our guest is Dual Say Sloan, and when you hear
everything she has to say, you're gonna friggin lose it
because she's our favorite. All right, wait until these messages
(06:23):
are over and then come back. But if you don't
want to hear our commercials, then you should become a
big money diamond player on Apple podcasts. Then you get
all of the good stuff. Our special Friday releases, our
regular shit with no freaking commercials. So do that now.
But then also wait and then we'll be back with
(06:44):
Du'll say okay, okay, I love you. Hey everybody, We're
back with the Amber and Lacey Lacy at Amber Show.
And we're so excited because today we get to spend
(07:04):
time with a fabulous woman who has been all over
your TV screen, on camera, and she is on stage everywhere.
She's the co founder of a lip gloss company called
Giggle Gloss. Please welcome to the show. Don't say sloan.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, Brandon, we did it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
We found it. We're on the internet. We figured out
how to open the zoom. Guys, it was tough. You'll say,
you a little baby, you can open the zoom. Let
me tell you something I felt. I felt so bad
for Skype. I got my girl. Where were you? This
(07:46):
was your time, Skuye Skype, This was your time. You've
been doing this a girl twenty ten. You should have
had at least the servers, the band Win, Skype of Knowledge,
the know how and yeah, and we were all over
Skype and out of town Skype listen, and then whatsap
came in and took over, and I was like, Skype,
(08:06):
why are you letting everybody pull up in your apartments?
That's right? Man, like they can't keep up. I'm like,
brout people pull up in your ship? So I skpe
and nowhere are they? A great question? Where are they?
I don't know out here?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Probably selling sofas or some ship because they're going out
of spe.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Sofa, get just your backer, get your and fucking hair gummies,
which all of them all will try. What why? Why escape?
(08:44):
Selling waist trainers? What is that? A different audience? Girl,
and the audience they probably don't have the internet the house,
Jule say, what are all of your feelings?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Well, a boy made me sad recently, so that's fine.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Job. Let me find his ass.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
What the you won't talk about talking about honestly?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I won't. Okay, okay, because that'll be too it'll give him. Listen.
I uh. People always talk about leaving somebody on red.
What I prefer to do is to not open the
message at all. So I'm gonna leave you on ignored,
because if you thought that leaving somebody on like oh,
you've read it and didn't say nothing, nigga, I didn't
(09:34):
even look. I do that all the time. Once I'm done,
I'm don't I will. I will let that little dot
be there. I won't even open it. I need you
to know that. Awesome. I don't save uh not on delivered. Yes,
I'm leaving people on delivered. Yes, I'm leaving you on delivered. Also,
I will. I don't save men's numbers in my phone.
(09:55):
You will be digits until you earn your name in
my phone. You will be number what? But then, how
do you know who's saying it?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I did fuck up one time, but I figured it
out like in two seconds.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
But you just know, Like the last it's like, Okay,
this dude's a six four six, This dude's a nine
one seven, This dude's three two three. Yep, this dude's
a four oh four. So it's like, okay, four h
four got something to say today. It's gonna be something
I don't want to hear. Six four six didn't call
me back or text me back. Okay, cool, sir, you're
going on muted on Instagram. Now I will unfollow you.
(10:26):
My favorite. The best feature that Instagram has now remove follower.
Oh I didn't know you could do that because before
to remove somebody used to have to block them and
unblock them. But now someone I'm no longer friends with
sent me a message and I was just like, oh,
let me remind him, and so I just went to
my I just went to his page and removed follower.
(10:48):
Oh that's great, and I'm okay with that. So I
think one day he's gonna pop up and he's just
gonna see because I think there's a way for you
to tell that someone doesn't follow, Like he's gonna go
to my page and he's gonna see the word following
in my name and like, oh oh shit. She was like,
I guess I did. Oh no, yes I did. But
other than that, I'm enjoying my new home. Yay. Where
(11:11):
are you now? Where were you? Slash? And then where
are you?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I was incarcerated in New York for five and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I was serving my time in Astoria, and now I
am I've purchased a home in North Hollywood. Oh so
I wanted a Spanish style two story house, and the
Lord has blessed me with there's in last week for
my mom. And there's a detached garages in the converted
(11:41):
to a studio and my brother is going to be
in there. Oh yeah, next weegain, I'm going to go
on flying in Atlanta because my family's going to drive
out with my mom's and my brother's stuff. I am
living the dream, but I did. There is one small
flow in this home plan. My my bedroom is directly
above my mother's bedroom, right, okay, yeah, so she's gonna
(12:08):
need noise canceling headphones or I'm gonna have to sound
proof the floor because currently I'm a forty year old
woman who shouldn't have sex in my own house. No,
you can't.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
And I said that the show, and this white lady
was like, yes you can. I was like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know you got a whole black mom. You can.
You can have a whole black mom, black mom who's
usually listening to church. Yeah, you can't do that. I can't.
I'm not even your mom. And I would come and
knock on your door and tell you right, I mean,
any gentleman, you don't even know you keep that down right, And.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
So any gentleman that I know. Any gentleman who.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I could, who could be seeing everything that I own,
would have a home of his own, an address where
he likes to lay his head.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Uh, if any sexy timer to commence, it would have
to be at the trailer where he pays rent because
he can't. He can't bring that over here to my
double wide. Send your mom on a lot of vacations,
I mean to America London yesterday, and she went to
London for church because of your black woman over the
age of sixty.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
If you travel, it's it's for the loan.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I recently wrote a book that comes out in February
of next year called Hello Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny
and Day Jobs. Wait, didn't y'all go what a book
do we did? Yes? Yeah, we did. Look at us.
There's ship and they used to not let us read.
Look at God.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Jesus, guys, I have a true story to tell you.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yes, this is real.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
One time in Chicago, I was sitting waiting at the
Billmont station and it's like nighttime. It's a little too late.
There's a both like like a fraternity of like white
boys out and they're like hell, they're all.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Crazy and it's me sitting down, and then sitting.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Next to me is the oldest black man of all time.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
So these white children are loud and crazy and this
old black man sitting there and I take out a
newspaper that's just sitting next and I take it out,
and the old black man, this is not a this
is real, that's really happening, smacked the newspaper out of
my hand kind of like grand it and.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Goes, if master finds out we can read, go. I cried.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
That was the biggest swing.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
You could ever take with a stranger. Listen, I love
to we talked the whole so much in my entire life.
I had a friend and so I went to very
I went to private women's college that was very small
(14:45):
and so like when I say small, I had a
Spanish class one year that was just me and for
a whole seme my suit was just me and my
gay and Spanish teacher. I love shout out to doctor
demmy oker, that man, what a blessed and uh So
the school was in North Georgia, Gainesville, Georgia, very small
(15:06):
school and the black part of town. It was either
new Town and it was called Newtown because that town
had burned down the rebuilt, yes, and then the black
people literally lived across the railroad tracks and they lived
out the road. And so the school was a thoroughfare,
like there was a shortcut in front of the freshman
dorm to go from one side of town to the other.
And I'm walking back to the door with one of
(15:27):
my white friends and this older black woman stops and
it was like who it was, Me and one of
my black friends and a white girl, one of my
white girlfriends, and she pulled old, this older teenage black
lady pulls up a stops. It's like, how y'all doing,
We're like good, And she said like, now y'all make
sure you want to be messed around with none of
these young niggas in town. Makes you don't get pregnant
and you graduate. And she just gave us this like
(15:48):
five minute pep talk, and somebody tried to honk at her,
and she's like, ah, going around, going around.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And she was, and she talked to us, how y'all
doing a school.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
We're good. What's your major? What's your major? Talk this lady.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
She's like, all right, y'all have a blessed day. And
then my friend was like, do you know her?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
And we went no, no, and she was.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
Like and she said, she was just like, I don't
under She's like, white people don't talk to each other
like me. She's like, whenever I'm hanging out with y'all,
some stranger black person will always come up and talk
to y'all, have a conversation and then.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Everybody and I was like, what's happening. I'm just saying
that white people don't talk to each other like y'all
talking to each other.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
She said, even white people talk to you.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I was like, well, white people love us and they
won't leave us alone. They won't. But like a good
country like a country white woman, old country white woman
loves talking to a black woman of any age.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
But she was like that lady just stopped. She's like,
gave you all all this encouragement.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
She's like, you don't have any white women drive fast
here while I'm standing out here and stops and talks
to me. You're right. I kind of felt bad for it.
I was like, listen, that's by design. Y'all need to
talk to the head office or something. I don't know
when h HR will take care of this. Round got
into hr. But she was like, I just do it.
(17:13):
We got black people, and the white girls are like, yeah,
black people are always talking to black they don't even know.
I was like, y'all do the same thing in the store.
She's like, they're like, it's not the same. It's not
the same, and we know it's not the same. It's
not and we know it because you don't mean that ship.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
But yesterday I ordered the sandwich and the lady goes,
here you go, sweet baby, and I uh was filled.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
My life was, Yes, you run a sweet baby. I
can change anybody's day. I also, uh, I watch a
wutch TikTok. But the number of times it's like black
people just give each other compliments by just saying what
they have on, But we can also do. But then
somebody was like, black people will insult each other by
just saying what you have on? Yes, it's all. So
(17:57):
it could be come on dress, or it could be like,
oh so the dress, and it's like all dress. We
know how to build you up or tear you down.
We can do it way okay down to your soul.
See your grandparents, see your grandmother just being in heaven going.
(18:19):
They didn't have to do that. Okay, guys, we got
to pull this in because we're cracking up too much. Okay.
On the Amber and Lacy Lacey and Amber Show, we
subject our guests to an expert quiz where we take
a subject our guests. This is an expert on and
we will quiz them. If we win, then we are
the cutest okay. But if our guest wins, then they
(18:40):
are the cutest okay, will say, we hear you know
a lot about Korean dramas. Is this true? Is true?
This is I know she came on and tell me
bitch Shop movie your microphone. I turned the volume uph no, no, no, no, no,
she's nope, You're fine because she's going to administer the quiz.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
This is Becca, Listen, I know more about Korean dramas
than you do.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You sure do you want this? As soon as that's
all Korean dramas, I was like, and the winner is
not Lacey or am so you have gone this already.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I watched the ones that I watched, so I could
also not be an expert on this.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I should have said Star Trek, no you would, and
then you would have to run for your money. I
wrote most of the episodes of Star Trek. People don't
know that? Wait? Seven? Which which?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
All of which series?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
All of them? Everything? Oh wow, I'm seventy five years like, ma'am, listen.
If you're telling me you want don't crack. Come on you.
You did not work on Deep Space nine because you
would have been a child, So don't do that now.
Lover Day Discovery, Strange New World, you would want that,
but you was out here on the original series. Even Jeene,
(19:55):
Ry and Mary didn't make it. Me Jane was like this,
but okay, okay, go ahead, back up, administer this quiz
on Korean dramas.
Speaker 7 (20:05):
Alrighty, who is the ultimate idol? Who will win this
rigorous test of k drama knowledge to become the next idol?
Speaker 8 (20:13):
Are you all ready?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
You're ready, You're ready, We're ready.
Speaker 8 (20:15):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (20:16):
So I'm going to describe a scenario and you're gonna
tell me through multiple choice which of the shows it is.
Speaker 8 (20:22):
All right, So here's the scenario.
Speaker 7 (20:24):
The management company of the popular idol group decided to
add a new member to the group, but the new
member has to go to the US due to an emergency.
His twin sister ends up having to take her Brother's place.
Is it A shut Up Flower boy Band? B Coffee Prints,
C You're Beautiful? Or D to the Beautiful U?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
All of those titles are made up. I want to
say A what I want to say A what's it called? Again? Okay?
Speaker 8 (20:52):
So A was shut Up Flower boy Band?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Okay?
Speaker 8 (20:54):
I want to say, hey, okay, we got one for A.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I wanted to say A two because that sounded the
most ridiculous. But I'm not going to copy off her
because I don't know. I'm going to say it's D
to the Beautiful You, Amber, to.
Speaker 8 (21:03):
The Beautiful You, Amber, what's your vote?
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'm going to say it's C Flower love you beautiful boy.
Speaker 7 (21:13):
Just make it up as though it was. How was
what beautiful? It was a two thousand and nine Southern
Korean drama You're Beautiful, starring Jane No, you know what,
I'm not gonna pronoun the name.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I'm gonna get this wrong. We're not gonna.
Speaker 7 (21:34):
So it was a Southern Korean drama, big big community,
All right?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Amber?
Speaker 8 (21:40):
When question, can any of you all tell me when.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
The idol is? Yes? An idol is a person that
you worship and you love them.
Speaker 8 (21:49):
Vaguely and what it will do.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It is to get you forty years in the desert
in the Old Testament.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's what an idol, this worship and id an idol
is a Oh, I'm going to take the negative two.
Please give me negative two points. I don't know anything
how this has anything to do with Korean dramas, and
I'm gonna say something wrong. No, I don't know what
a one of.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
The wave stars.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
An idol is a you can be either an actor
or a musician, and you're part of the Oh, what's
the wave, Hollyholm wave, You're one of the wave stars.
Speaker 7 (22:22):
Okay, So I'm gonna give a half a point to
Dulca because it is a vaguely musician, singer, performer.
Speaker 8 (22:30):
Basically, idols in Korea are their celebrities.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
So all of their biggest celebrities are considered idols, and
they usually hire one of these idols as a star
in the Korean drama. So like think of BTS, they
are considered idols, and a BTS star would be typically
also in a like a titular.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Role in a Korean drama.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
So it is like they're like a list is is
their idols? So okay, all right, next question in which
of these Korean dramas do the main characters have a kiss?
Is it A city Hunter and Personal State, B Vampire
prosecutor and bridal musk C Pinocchio and the Heirs and
(23:17):
D You're Beautiful and.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Never seen any of these shows. I think this is
historical dramas I know way too much about, like ancient Korea.
Like the historical dramas I love those. Say the name
use it a food kiss, So this is not This
is not the same as a kimchi slap.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
No, this is so basically imagine two of the main
characters trying to kiss while holding food lady in tramp style.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
And what are the names again?
Speaker 7 (23:43):
A City Hunter and Personal State, B Vampire prosecutor and
bridal mask see Pinocchio and the Heirs or D your
Beautiful and Big, which feels a little wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I feel like it's B Vampire prosecutor and bridal mask. Okay,
because whenever I am around a vampire wearing a bride
just oh, okay, this happened. She did the research. I
was gonna say either Pinocchio or the vampire mask as well.
Go with your heart, but.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Beautiful and big, beautiful and big.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I think is a trick because big might not mean
like in the way we think of it. It might
just be like this person's tall.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
Okay, we got two for vampires.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I'm gonna say the vampire mask, even though I should
say Pinocchio.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Guys, vampires don't eat food when they're in love with
your true Okay, wait, wait, wait, I know I can't
change my answer, but I want to say Pinocchio as
you can.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Okay, they's no rules, Pinocchio, Pinocchio.
Speaker 7 (24:39):
Okay, so we all one for vampire, one for Pinocchio, Amber,
what's your final answer?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Beautiful and big?
Speaker 8 (24:44):
Those is right?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Show about I'm sure the Man Who's a Liar?
Speaker 7 (24:50):
Well, but it is one of the highest grossing k
dramas made out of China. It was selling for Record
Prize at two hundred and eighty per episode and apparently
food kisses are a big trope in Korean dramas, but
this one came from a scene where the couple were
(25:11):
kind of flirting and they share this kiss between a
piece of bread. But it was all made up in
the dad's mind, like he was like angry at his son.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
What year did this show come out?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
This show came out in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Okay, because that's not the trend right now.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
The trend right now is if you're in a modern
day drama, it is the it is a man. The
couple gets drunk off of soju, she and he has
to piggyback carry her home. If you're watching a modern
day drama, every single drama, and sometimes it's or if
there's like really close friends, like if it's two guys,
(25:46):
then they also will have the oh you're too drunk,
let me peggyback you. Because once you I was watching
they were both very drunk and they kept trying to
piggyback carry each other, which was very fun. It's like, oh, no,
we're good friends, like keng let me cherry. You're like no,
hung up, like let me tell you. So it's like
it's a that's the trope and that food kiss thing
I haven't seen.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Well.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I was going to say one of my next questions,
there are ten popular tropes I have here. Oh whoever
names the most tropes win, so you just still say
named the piggybacking and soju.
Speaker 8 (26:17):
Those are two on my list.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
That's two. One is Subway sandwiches, another is fullaving. I
don't know you guys. One is like flash mob dance.
A let's see, there's going to be a chilbol So
there's going to be a rich guy and a poor girl,
rich fan, poor man, rain kissing. It's gotta be on there. Oh,
(26:44):
when they finally do kiss, it's going to be shot
from fifteen thousands and it's going to be stop motions.
I tell you it's a kiss, but it's like from
here and from here, here, from here and from here,
a kiss from a million different angles. Rich man, poor
man that sold you the piggyback carry if it's a
(27:05):
modern one, him reaching across her to put on her
seat belt, where you think they might kiss, but they don't.
I know one them taking a very long when sorry,
it's when he comes up behind her and he goes
to kiss her, but then she turns around and it
was the last So no, that's not it was a
(27:26):
dog nor well, I'm just trying to get about knocking
on the door and running away. Let's see, And then
I think that one, but let's see. Also, if there
(27:47):
is a betrayal of some sort, there's always an angry parent.
How many did she.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
Want answer? But she listed actually only three. The ten
that I have here are a soju drinking scene, a
piggy back sleeping together without sex, just sharing a bed,
sickness so one gets sick and the other one has
to take care of them. And then third spaces for talks,
(28:16):
so parks and buses, uh, the elevator and train crush.
Just spotting someone and then like locking eyes and being like,
oh my god, I'm in love with them.
Speaker 8 (28:24):
And then they disappear.
Speaker 7 (28:26):
Food, so eating around food like hangover soup, kimchi ramene.
The head pat like an endearing like little.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, he will pat her on her head and she'll
be like.
Speaker 8 (28:36):
And then the back hug so hugging them from that
was you.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
That was fine, that was me. That's one point. Dog,
Just have.
Speaker 8 (28:49):
One final question for y'all. True or false.
Speaker 7 (28:53):
Korean dramas are filled with a lot of self falls.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
Everyone at the point it is, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
That's why my mom loves them. Actually, they just had
an article come out A girl hit me up on Twitter.
I didn't get to a chance with it, but it
was in the New York Times that Korean dramas are
very popular among black women, and the article was really
just trying to find out it was a Korean American
woman who was just trying to find out why, and
I couldn't get back to her in time to be
(29:21):
like interviewed for the article. But I've been watching them
since I was like fifteen. Who because Atlanta people don't
know that, like Atlanta has a very large car.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
I think it's like the third highest Korean population in
the country.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Who.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
So Atlanta has a Korean TV station too.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
There was like the English channels, there was two Spanish channels,
and then there's a Korean TV station, a Korean TV channel,
and so I was just flipping through the channels one
day and I just was like, what is this show?
And there was subtitles, So I just watched it and
then I've been like watching them ever since. But like
I think they said in the article that, like the
reason it's so popular with black women is one, it's
(29:55):
not white people falling in love. Also, the reason that
I liked them is because in America, we whenever there's
like a rom com, it's always like you see the
woman fall in love and you see her being pursued,
but you rarely see the man falling in love. So
on those shows you see like both there's one episode,
like one show was watching and like the girl had
(30:16):
texted the guy and you see him in bed, like
kicking his feet and like being so happy that she
like reached out to him. Oh that's cute. It's so cute.
And I think the other reason that I like it
is it's like it takes like a lot of these dramas.
Even it's like a limited series, it'll be like sixteen
to twenty episodes. It'll be seven or eight episodes before
they hold hands.
Speaker 8 (30:37):
Oh, such a slow belt.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
That's cute as opposed to like America where you're like
Sex and the City taught everybody to sleep with somebody
on the third date, and it's like one night.
Speaker 8 (30:47):
One night.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I like it. I mean, Noah, I like it. But yeah,
who won this? I mean I think we know who?
Speaker 8 (30:55):
What don't say? I think it's it's clar.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
It's me, all right.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
But yeah, they've had like a couple of articles written
about like why we're I can see why you'd be
upseessed obsessed with them.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Honestly, they're very well made well.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Also, it's like the show The Good Doctor is actually
like a Korean drama that brought over to America. So
what I've been trying to figure out how to do
is get the rights to one of these shows, start
working on. I mean, you're amblete. I'll talk to you, ambulance.
I'm telling you there's a show that I got there
as at least one show. There's two shows I got
in mind right now? All right, friend, let's talk about this. Friend,
(31:35):
are in the break. When we come back after this
short break, we're going to put our minds together to
help some people out. Okay, we're back. Do we'll say
(31:55):
you always tell it like it is. I know you're
the kind of friend to turn to when you need
some advice. So let's brainstorm and help some people out
who wrote into our show. If you want to write
into the show, leave a comment on our Instagram or
send an email to Amber and Lacy Advice yet gmails
like okay here we sorry Gmail.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Also quick disclaimer hold on because I don't want to
say anything.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
The article that I'm talking about was in the Washington
Post and it was written by Sung because I didn't
want to know. I want to give credit. What credit was? Yay?
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, you don't want to people working. So I'm helping
people now listen.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
If this is about a boy, I can't help nobody
because I make in the words of the little boy
on the Internet, I make bad financial decisions. That's not true.
I make bad romantic decisions because I don't know what
I'm doing. A nice man, A good man, never met one,
But it ain't that I could do.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
There's one walking past my house right now.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Ain't ship shoot him with an arrow, but the first
when you're dealing with him the misery, So yeah, I can't.
I can't tell you about a good man but a
trash man here of research? Okay, all right, product development
as Let's see who these people are what their problems are.
(33:20):
Number One, my partner keeps whistling every time a song
comes on in the car. I have asked him to stop,
and he acts like I am the crazy one because
he is not even aware he's doing it. I can't
tell you how much it gets under my skin. How
do I deal with this? Okay? First of all, giving
him sulky snacks, are giving him? Give him a lemon?
(33:41):
So like in the cartoons were Tom, Jerry, Tom and Jerry. Well,
first of all, this is written about me because I
will whistle a bitch down. I will whistle an entire song.
No one on her profession. I need to jump in
(34:03):
on this. Help it. Her and my father are the
best whistlers in the world ever kild whistle an opera.
It's beautiful, She's amazing. I'm whistler's mother. I sure can
can't help it.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Can you do the cricket sound? Though I didn't hear anything?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Can you hear it? We didn't hear anything. My thing's
not close enough, no, Frian, Oh no, but we heard. No,
she did a great job. That was me. You did
a good job. Oh, it's cutting it out for ambut. Wow.
We need to go back to that question that that
skype revenge because as he does it, okay, stop, but
(34:45):
she's already asked him to stop, and he's like, but
I'm not even whistling. What she needs to do is
record him, because he's like, I'm not even whistling, So
he doesn't even notice or he doesn't care. So it's
like it probably is he I mean, he don't care.
But like, I think she needs to recor cord him
and be like, I think, hey, remember that's the only
way he's gonna know, right, Because it's like sometimes it's
(35:06):
like trying to tell somebody to like, say, you first
get a dog and you have to remember to keep
the toilet seat down so the dog doesn't drink out
of the trip, right, So then you have to remind somebody, hey,
the toilets twists. Yea of twilets. So I think it
just happened. It might just be a subconscious thing he's
not even thinking about. So I think she just has
to record him or punch him in his arm every
(35:26):
time you or both punch, record, punch record, Yeah, Or
maybe it's like, oh, she could do like a swear
jar thing where it's like every time he whistles, every
time you whistle venmoy five bucks, it's a nice little say,
or hand me fine bucks and I promise you monetary
inspiration and stimulation and likes.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
We'll get that man.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
We solve that problem. To start with more cations. The
second one is, am I weird for not wanting to
wear something borrowed from my family on my wedding day?
She could wear a hair clip. I mean, no, you're
not weird, But also, lie, can't you just be like, yeah,
I wore I mean, do they have to see it?
Or get your mom's old garter belt. There's a lot
(36:09):
of stuff going on at a wedding. Yeah, you can
wear a necklace. Why does she not want to wear
something borrow? Does she not like they stuff? She don't
like they stuff? Or she just borrow that's right. They're like,
wear this cowboy hat and she's like no, and I'm
not gonna lie. Why am I super ugly? I don't
want to wear Why am I.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Wearing high top sneakers? I don't want to borrow this?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Right?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
And it's like, oh, where Grandma's ring?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And it's like, but Grandma's ring is fake, which as
someone who whose jewelry changes color, Oh, I love storious great.
I think it's one of the best inventions we ever
came up with. Who said gold has to stay gold?
You know what I mean? Why become bronze at some point?
(36:58):
Who knows? But I don't think it's weird. I think
it's we need more information. Yeah, what are hers? I
agree with you because it's like if the bar thing
was like, all we got is this lawnmower. Push it right,
I don't want that fucking thing either, So it's like
I think she's not giving great borrowed options. So it's like, oh,
(37:21):
here's your grandma's brought from the fifties. Like, no, I
don't want to wear that. There's whalebone in that. I
don't want to wear it, but I love it craziness,
but I don't. I don't. Yeah, I don't think it's weird.
I just need more information. So if it's not anything
that's ugly, just fucking. It's kind of like graduations are
for your parents and weddings or try to compromise. Yeah,
(37:42):
maybe one day you'll have your birthday and you can
do your own ship. But until then, right, wear the
whale bones day? Is that are really for you? Are
your birthday and your funeral, and even then your family
makes it back. Sorry, guys, you gotta wear it. Yeah,
wear the two number three. Sorry. I'm taking a class
this year in college that will have us presenting a lot.
(38:03):
It feels like there are a hundred people in this class.
Do you have any advice to help me with my
nerves about public speaking? Oh? Yes, I think you should
picture your audience naked so that I can have the giggles. Well,
why if you have issues with public speaking, why did
(38:26):
you register for this class? Maybe to conquer their issues. Now, okay,
if now we out here conquering, if we out here
trying to face the feast, if you're out here trying
to put you know, fair factor Joe Rogan's style with
this class, the best thing to do is pick a
point in the back of the room. So say there's
like a clock or something on the back wall, pick
(38:48):
a point in the back of the room and talk
directly to them. I agree, Yeah, that's what they taught
us to do. And in school is you look at
theater at the top of everyone's heads and it makes
them feel like you're looking directly at them. I still
do that because sometimes you're saying a joke and you
don't want to see what the response is. I don't
have the heart to look you in the eye as
(39:09):
I tell this terrible joke. Let me look just over
the top of your head. So I've been telling this
joke about when I went to Turks and Caicos at
the beginning of the he was waiting at twenty twenty two,
and uh, I do want to side on the joke
that's literally just for like the black people in the
room where I talk about how Lisa Ray was the
first Lady of Turks and Caicos. But no, Lisa Ray
(39:39):
was the first lady of Turks and Caicos because she
was married to the Prime Minister of Turks and Caicos
and he got arrested for embezzlement and they got the word,
which is the most Lisa Ray thing that could happen.
And also she's the brat'sas sister. So I'm saying this
so like I've just started turing waut Turch and Caikos.
And then I was like, I literally just said that
(39:59):
for the t black people, white people stopping. It was
literally with the black people in the audience, and there's
always a white woman that goes the brad's sister. But really,
and I was like, okay, know what your kids.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
But it's truly just for me. It's truly just for me.
Taping at Montreal about uh and I was doing that
set and I.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Was like, I have to cut this lace to Ray. Shit,
no one, I can't. This barely works in America. I
know it's not gonna work in Canada, but it's truly
just for me. That and I have another bit about
how it's only funny to me. I swear and like
one other person. But I just think about like this
young white girl, like, you know, she starts dating this
black dude. Her family abandons her, you know, they cut
(40:41):
ties with her because they're so racist, and Daddy, I
love him on some little mermaid shit and they wait
to have sex and they get married and then his
dick is small. And it makes me laugh so much
because it's like, shes like she heard, you know, because
you always hear about all black dudes, like all black
(41:03):
men don't have big dicks, All white men don't have
small decks, right, And so you know, she gets married,
her parents don't come, her dad doesn't walk her down
the aisle, all this other shit. All she had left
was that on her wedding night small. It's so funny
to me.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
All she had left was that hope. And then that's
the way that.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Was taken away from her because she thought she was
gonna get dicked yes, because when you think you're gonna
get dicked down and then you don't, it's very maddening.
Very some man the other day was like, I'm gonna
gave you up. And the only good part about hanging
out with that nigga was skinny different the rest of it.
I was like, Z but again, that's funny to y'all.
(41:40):
I can't think of anywhere else, like at least ray thing,
and then that I can't. Some bits you just are,
they're yours and there's nothing that can be done with them.
What's the next bit of advice? Also, have sex before
marriage because you don't want to get find out what
you're getting into find out. This is just general advice. Listen.
My Bob is a good Christian woman. I remember was
sitting on the porch one day. My mother came outside
(42:02):
and she goes, I mean, I know, are you supposed
to you don't want to nothing bad? And I was like, oh,
but ma'am, I'm thirty. Where was Bless her heart? She
thought she was giving you some advice something that's cute. Listen.
I think she was trying to alleviate because it was like,
(42:23):
you do want to wait, but thelecture has sailed. Listen,
you might find out a deal break. Yeah, you have
to guys. This is the next one. Since Lacy took
those etiquette classes, I'm wondering what is the etiquette on
receiving a card by hand? Do you open it? Do
you open it up in front of the person or
just say thank you? And wait it's a good question. Now,
(42:45):
good question. Okay, so I'm gonna hands you out. Was
big on etiquette. We have this book. What was that book?
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Amber?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Amber? Oh Amber doesn't even remember this. I don't think
hents Mellowise, But there was etiquette in there too, And
I was talking about how they were teaching etiquette classes
here in Omaha, and I thought it was the best
thing ever. In Amber was making fun of me. But
I like for kids to act right in public. That's
what I feel like, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Yeah, oh no, everyone should take ediga classes whenever.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Like the biggest the thing that would make my vagina
just slam shut is if a man is holding a
fork or like a shovel. Oh like to see a
man like I don't remember when I learned how to
hold a fork, but I know how to hold a
fork right, And to see a grown man, a grown
ass man, an overgrown man, as my mother would call
(43:31):
these man eating eating food, like were you just kind
of like he's just digging into something and just like
and I was like, okay, I don't, I don't, I
don't give and I'm going to piggyback on your shoveling,
because I'll take shoveling before. I went out on a
date last night to a very nice restaurant, and when
(43:51):
you were talking about how you just went through some stuff,
I had to let this man go. This man is
in the restaurant and he's waving his arms and he's
talking about the scariest night of his life when he
was in Florida and his cousin got shot. Okay, And
when I tell you, everyone could hear, and he said
(44:11):
and didn't there was blood. And I was like, if
you just don't eat that bread. So I just kept
putting that you just got it what it's omaha, Nebraska's
my life. He was being every then the watress would
come over and he would shoot a joke that he'd
go back to the shooting story, and I was like, oh,
I can't this is this is he was attend the
whole time. No, oh, absolutely not. It just was the
(44:34):
last phone call ended badly. He wanted to see me.
I was like, this is no, it's not working out.
You know you're loud, right because I love you loud,
you know, but os is I don't need you allowed
attention on me, and I don't need everyone to Everyone
don't need to hear that story. I didn't need to
(44:55):
hear the story. You've told us seven times. I've heard
it before, so I'm working on me because he said, oh,
you always tell me when I tell you a story,
and that's rude. So I'm letting them, letting them tell
a story now for the seventh time. But I figured
out it wasn't for me. He's just want people to hear.
He wants everyone to hear his story. You think the
story is great. Story is not great. It's dumb. I
want to hear it. So I was like, you're you're
(45:16):
attention seeker. He's an attention seeker, And I was like,
this story isn't for me. Cousin got shot when he
was twelve, so he wants people to know and it
grazed his butt. So I said, oh, it was his
life in dangerous. It's not even a good story. It's
not like a fifty cent story, okay, Grace. Yes, Also,
(45:37):
you don't strike me as the type of woman who
would be impressed with a shooting. Think I love you
so much, but why I love you for saying that
and I'm sitting there thinking, why is he telling me
because he only has seven you because I've told him
stop telling me these stories. I've heard them before. I
(45:59):
would love to take because it's like, you need to
know where the fork is? Do you need to because
it's like we're trying to act like we don't need
but like was etiquette used to? Were there too many forks? Yes?
Did we have all these forks because there's no TV? Okay,
all we're doing is reading or playing a game or work,
(46:21):
like there was no meals.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Took a long time to prepare so that there was
other things.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
We were hunting for food, we were learning to read.
But for most of human for most of human history,
we were very preoccupied with staying alive. And then now
we're so alive, we have to worry about being killed,
like there's dinosaurs outside just because we went to a
(46:48):
public fucking place. So like for most of human history,
we had a lot of time on our hands. So
it's like, Okay, let's invent all these forks. We need
a bunch of knives. We need a giant we need
a big as place setting. We need chargers, we need plates,
we need bread plates, we need salad plates. We need
salad balls, we need dinner plates, we need wine glasses,
ice works plates. Look at all the just the number
(47:11):
of glasses, just the types. Yeah of glass, too many,
too many glasses, champagne flutes. And then there's like the
fact that there's a different glass for red and white wine.
Is there?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I didn't know that, Yes, there's different glass for but
also there's a specific glass for like there's a water glass,
and then there's like a tea glass, and then there
is a butter knife, and then a regular knife, and
then a steak knife, and then there's like a seafoods
fork and a salad f and a dinner fork, and
then a tea spoon and a dessert spoon and a
soup spoon.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Like all of these it's because we had time. But
now we don't have this time. Now it's we got sporks.
Now they just put it all together. That's right, we're
out here trying to get now. I don't know how busy,
why we're all so busy. I don't know why we
all need red bull, But you know it's we used
to have a lot of times for things, right, So
you used to be able to have to have a
(48:05):
lot of different kind of stories and come up with
a lot of Hey man, I got to keep these
people interested because we got to do this again tomorrow. Right,
there's no electricity now, mind you. You could have a
nice story. You could blow a candle out and that
could be just throw a blanket over your kids and
this is a good night, like you do a bird.
So it was a long time. We had a lot
of free time. But now today wrap the story up. Bro,
(48:27):
I don't need to hear about this. Your life's not
interested all. And it's like we needed etiquette because we
had too much free time. But you still need to
know which fork d I'll give you two forks. Think
about the first time you went to a restaurant and
they used a com street. I mean, I was like,
what kind of restaurants are you going to do? Let
(48:50):
me write out that rest real quickly. I'm reservation for one. Okay, okay,
as someone who as someone who hates that particular thing,
(49:12):
I hate that I even said that, because man, anytime
I interact with it, I'm here right, No, I guess okay,
that's that. Thank you that do sloan and buy her
lip gloss giggle gloss. What's your favorite what's your favorite shade? Yay?
(49:37):
My favorite shade is thank you so much I am.
It's a tie with no more Broke Dick and future wife. Okay,
please go get her losses. But if I please, please please.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
I would love to send y'all some If you send
me your address, I'll send y'all.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Get your information after this because you're going to be
on our new dating segment that We're pleasing and.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Follow us at Amber Ruffin and at Lacey lamar One.
Follow our podcast Speed for bonus episodes on Fridays. If
you like what you heard, say something nice and Amber,
what do you say?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
If you don't. If you don't like us, go pet
a sting ring got a snake. If you don't like
us anyway, thank you and we will see you lady
yay
Okay, here we go. It's time to rest show. So
don't cause us by listening you're related to us. It's
the Amber and Lacey Lazy and Ambers Show. Oh my dad,
Hello family, ha ha, you have to be your dad.
(00:21):
Amber keeps looking at me. Lacey talked to me. Do something.
Ember stinks.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Lacey stinks more than I stink, but also I stink
a better stink.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh my good, see what I had to grow up with.
All right, everybody, Welcome to the Amber and Lacey, Lacey
and Amber Show. This podcast is away for us to
help you get to know new friends through fun end games. Amber,
let me tell you about my life, about your life
if you talk bad about me, because you know what
I'm gonna say. I saw another Netflix show and I
(00:59):
feel like you would if you don't stop it. Stop it.
You're making a face. It was Love Again. Did you
watch it? Did you watch nothing else? But I want
to know it's it was Selene Beyond. It is like
a Selene Beyond advertisement. Who cares about the story. The
story is okay, but it's the fact that the guy
in it has the interviewing Selene Beyond for his for
(01:22):
his job. I think he's like a music critic or whatever.
It is so wonderful and it's so cute, only because Amber,
you know, I love Selena? What song do I make
you play? Love it? I love it? What's song? And
that's the way it is. No, it's it'll come to me.
But she has a new song on there. It's the
(01:43):
title of the movie and it's called love Again, and
I play it over and over again. I love it
so much. That's that is my new thing. It is
so unkay and I'm in it. Oh wow, Okay, I
didn't know that when quick cameo okay, oh wow, because
(02:05):
I don't remember you telling me you were flying to
It was a movie. They filmed it in Canada, so
that's why it's ound of your damn business. They probably
did film out in Canada because you know celeinion and
going to Canada, go to Toronto. You want to see Selene.
She's busy and lazy. Oh sorry, and Lacey, Wait, doesn't
(02:25):
she have her show in Vegas? Because that's why I
want to see I want I don't see Vegas. This
show made me want to go see a Selenion concert.
Loved it so much. She can really their day. Me
and one of my best friends Molly. They say, you know, Molly,
we're sitting around watching PBS and it was you know
(02:45):
those hey donate now and blah blah blah. Here's a
Luther Vandros concert and we were like, hmm, this is
pretty great. And then after that it was a Selen
Dion concert and I was like, I guess I would
see a Selene Dion concert. I don't think about Celenion
very much, but when you list her songs, it's like
(03:06):
a billion songs, millions. I know three selenops waiting for you.
I love so much You're inside mud. I don't know
if I can even sing those songs on this podcast,
but I do. I think you can. And I just
wrote in and said, sing more of her songs. I
(03:30):
made her listen that a million times in the car
when we were driving around New York. Do you remember that?
No love that song, but I believe you I love it.
Oh yeah, that's that song with that very good harmony
in it. Oh yeah, that's good. I just love a
strong two part harmony on the chorus of a song.
(03:51):
So good. Sorry, it's good, it's good, and it's good
for you. Everyone. This has been old white people with
Lacy Ramberg. And I need to tell you too, she
looks really good. Like I think they've been doctoring up
her face on Facebook, making her look distorted and nine
(04:14):
hundred years old. She looked great. Nope, she's never looking
different the day in her life she met her, she
looks exactly the same. She does changed well, and I
love it. You know she ain't missing around. You know
she's like drinking beers and eating pizza or nothing. She's not.
She's here to work, Yes she does. She eats kalae honey,
(04:35):
drinking oxygen. That's all she does is kale and oxygen.
Poor thing, that's all she needs. That's why she looks
so good. Yep, not me. That's why I look like
the bottom of a shoe because I'll eat whatever soys
to meet. Sister just said she looks like the bottom
of the shoe, and she does not. Amber looks great.
(04:57):
And I'm always saying them, because you look like me.
If you look like a of a shoe, then I
do it. I know I don't look like the bottom
of a shoe. You look like the before picture. Oh
your face regimen, what are you doing? Are you still
using a stick to wash your face. Have you gotten
(05:17):
any better? I was given a regimen by the lady
who did my makeup for the pilot, and I still
follow that regimen unless I forget or don't want to.
And so that means how often do you do it?
A week? Two times? Almost all the time? Okay? And
have you seen a difference in your skin? I did
(05:37):
when I was doing it regularly, but now I'm kind
of dicking around. I gotta be honest. Okay, stop doing
that and follow your regimen, please, because I need you
to look just as beautiful as I am for the
rest of our lives. Oh okay, you better get two
wigs and be like I'm lazy. I remember when you
(06:00):
have an award ceremonies. I gotta run and change really fast. Yeah,
the audience will be like yay, and then run back up.
I'm doing it. It's gonna be great, you guys. Welcome
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. Today.
Our guest is Dual Say Sloan, and when you hear
everything she has to say, you're gonna friggin lose it
because she's our favorite. All right, wait until these messages
(06:23):
are over and then come back. But if you don't
want to hear our commercials, then you should become a
big money diamond player on Apple podcasts. Then you get
all of the good stuff. Our special Friday releases, our
regular shit with no freaking commercials. So do that now.
But then also wait and then we'll be back with
(06:44):
Du'll say okay, okay, I love you. Hey everybody, We're
back with the Amber and Lacey Lacy at Amber Show.
And we're so excited because today we get to spend
(07:04):
time with a fabulous woman who has been all over
your TV screen, on camera, and she is on stage everywhere.
She's the co founder of a lip gloss company called
Giggle Gloss. Please welcome to the show. Don't say sloan.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, Brandon, we did it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
We found it. We're on the internet. We figured out
how to open the zoom. Guys, it was tough. You'll say,
you a little baby, you can open the zoom. Let
me tell you something I felt. I felt so bad
for Skype. I got my girl. Where were you? This
(07:46):
was your time, Skuye Skype, This was your time. You've
been doing this a girl twenty ten. You should have
had at least the servers, the band Win, Skype of Knowledge,
the know how and yeah, and we were all over
Skype and out of town Skype listen, and then whatsap
came in and took over, and I was like, Skype,
(08:06):
why are you letting everybody pull up in your apartments?
That's right? Man, like they can't keep up. I'm like,
brout people pull up in your ship? So I skpe
and nowhere are they? A great question? Where are they?
I don't know out here?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Probably selling sofas or some ship because they're going out
of spe.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Sofa, get just your backer, get your and fucking hair gummies,
which all of them all will try. What why? Why escape?
(08:44):
Selling waist trainers? What is that? A different audience? Girl,
and the audience they probably don't have the internet the house,
Jule say, what are all of your feelings?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Well, a boy made me sad recently, so that's fine.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Job. Let me find his ass.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
What the you won't talk about talking about honestly?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I won't. Okay, okay, because that'll be too it'll give him. Listen.
I uh. People always talk about leaving somebody on red.
What I prefer to do is to not open the
message at all. So I'm gonna leave you on ignored,
because if you thought that leaving somebody on like oh,
you've read it and didn't say nothing, nigga, I didn't
(09:34):
even look. I do that all the time. Once I'm done,
I'm don't I will. I will let that little dot
be there. I won't even open it. I need you
to know that. Awesome. I don't save uh not on delivered. Yes,
I'm leaving people on delivered. Yes, I'm leaving you on delivered. Also,
I will. I don't save men's numbers in my phone.
(09:55):
You will be digits until you earn your name in
my phone. You will be number what? But then, how
do you know who's saying it?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I did fuck up one time, but I figured it
out like in two seconds.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
But you just know, Like the last it's like, Okay,
this dude's a six four six, This dude's a nine
one seven, This dude's three two three. Yep, this dude's
a four oh four. So it's like, okay, four h
four got something to say today. It's gonna be something
I don't want to hear. Six four six didn't call
me back or text me back. Okay, cool, sir, you're
going on muted on Instagram. Now I will unfollow you.
(10:26):
My favorite. The best feature that Instagram has now remove follower.
Oh I didn't know you could do that because before
to remove somebody used to have to block them and
unblock them. But now someone I'm no longer friends with
sent me a message and I was just like, oh,
let me remind him, and so I just went to
my I just went to his page and removed follower.
(10:48):
Oh that's great, and I'm okay with that. So I
think one day he's gonna pop up and he's just
gonna see because I think there's a way for you
to tell that someone doesn't follow, Like he's gonna go
to my page and he's gonna see the word following
in my name and like, oh oh shit. She was like,
I guess I did. Oh no, yes I did. But
other than that, I'm enjoying my new home. Yay. Where
(11:11):
are you now? Where were you? Slash? And then where
are you?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I was incarcerated in New York for five and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I was serving my time in Astoria, and now I
am I've purchased a home in North Hollywood. Oh so
I wanted a Spanish style two story house, and the
Lord has blessed me with there's in last week for
my mom. And there's a detached garages in the converted
(11:41):
to a studio and my brother is going to be
in there. Oh yeah, next weegain, I'm going to go
on flying in Atlanta because my family's going to drive
out with my mom's and my brother's stuff. I am
living the dream, but I did. There is one small
flow in this home plan. My my bedroom is directly
above my mother's bedroom, right, okay, yeah, so she's gonna
(12:08):
need noise canceling headphones or I'm gonna have to sound
proof the floor because currently I'm a forty year old
woman who shouldn't have sex in my own house. No,
you can't.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
And I said that the show, and this white lady
was like, yes you can. I was like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know you got a whole black mom. You can.
You can have a whole black mom, black mom who's
usually listening to church. Yeah, you can't do that. I can't.
I'm not even your mom. And I would come and
knock on your door and tell you right, I mean,
any gentleman, you don't even know you keep that down right, And.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
So any gentleman that I know. Any gentleman who.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I could, who could be seeing everything that I own,
would have a home of his own, an address where
he likes to lay his head.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Uh, if any sexy timer to commence, it would have
to be at the trailer where he pays rent because
he can't. He can't bring that over here to my
double wide. Send your mom on a lot of vacations,
I mean to America London yesterday, and she went to
London for church because of your black woman over the
age of sixty.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
If you travel, it's it's for the loan.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I recently wrote a book that comes out in February
of next year called Hello Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny
and Day Jobs. Wait, didn't y'all go what a book
do we did? Yes? Yeah, we did. Look at us.
There's ship and they used to not let us read.
Look at God.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Jesus, guys, I have a true story to tell you.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yes, this is real.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
One time in Chicago, I was sitting waiting at the
Billmont station and it's like nighttime. It's a little too late.
There's a both like like a fraternity of like white
boys out and they're like hell, they're all.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Crazy and it's me sitting down, and then sitting.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Next to me is the oldest black man of all time.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
So these white children are loud and crazy and this
old black man sitting there and I take out a
newspaper that's just sitting next and I take it out,
and the old black man, this is not a this
is real, that's really happening, smacked the newspaper out of
my hand kind of like grand it and.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Goes, if master finds out we can read, go. I cried.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
That was the biggest swing.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
You could ever take with a stranger. Listen, I love
to we talked the whole so much in my entire life.
I had a friend and so I went to very
I went to private women's college that was very small
(14:45):
and so like when I say small, I had a
Spanish class one year that was just me and for
a whole seme my suit was just me and my
gay and Spanish teacher. I love shout out to doctor
demmy oker, that man, what a blessed and uh So
the school was in North Georgia, Gainesville, Georgia, very small
(15:06):
school and the black part of town. It was either
new Town and it was called Newtown because that town
had burned down the rebuilt, yes, and then the black
people literally lived across the railroad tracks and they lived
out the road. And so the school was a thoroughfare,
like there was a shortcut in front of the freshman
dorm to go from one side of town to the other.
And I'm walking back to the door with one of
(15:27):
my white friends and this older black woman stops and
it was like who it was, Me and one of
my black friends and a white girl, one of my
white girlfriends, and she pulled old, this older teenage black
lady pulls up a stops. It's like, how y'all doing,
We're like good, And she said like, now y'all make
sure you want to be messed around with none of
these young niggas in town. Makes you don't get pregnant
and you graduate. And she just gave us this like
(15:48):
five minute pep talk, and somebody tried to honk at her,
and she's like, ah, going around, going around.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And she was, and she talked to us, how y'all
doing a school.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
We're good. What's your major? What's your major? Talk this lady.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
She's like, all right, y'all have a blessed day. And
then my friend was like, do you know her?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
And we went no, no, and she was.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
Like and she said, she was just like, I don't
under She's like, white people don't talk to each other
like me. She's like, whenever I'm hanging out with y'all,
some stranger black person will always come up and talk
to y'all, have a conversation and then.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Everybody and I was like, what's happening. I'm just saying
that white people don't talk to each other like y'all
talking to each other.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
She said, even white people talk to you.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I was like, well, white people love us and they
won't leave us alone. They won't. But like a good
country like a country white woman, old country white woman
loves talking to a black woman of any age.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
But she was like that lady just stopped. She's like,
gave you all all this encouragement.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
She's like, you don't have any white women drive fast
here while I'm standing out here and stops and talks
to me. You're right. I kind of felt bad for it.
I was like, listen, that's by design. Y'all need to
talk to the head office or something. I don't know
when h HR will take care of this. Round got
into hr. But she was like, I just do it.
(17:13):
We got black people, and the white girls are like, yeah,
black people are always talking to black they don't even know.
I was like, y'all do the same thing in the store.
She's like, they're like, it's not the same. It's not
the same, and we know it's not the same. It's
not and we know it because you don't mean that ship.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
But yesterday I ordered the sandwich and the lady goes,
here you go, sweet baby, and I uh was filled.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
My life was, Yes, you run a sweet baby. I
can change anybody's day. I also, uh, I watch a
wutch TikTok. But the number of times it's like black
people just give each other compliments by just saying what
they have on, But we can also do. But then
somebody was like, black people will insult each other by
just saying what you have on? Yes, it's all. So
(17:57):
it could be come on dress, or it could be like,
oh so the dress, and it's like all dress. We
know how to build you up or tear you down.
We can do it way okay down to your soul.
See your grandparents, see your grandmother just being in heaven going.
(18:19):
They didn't have to do that. Okay, guys, we got
to pull this in because we're cracking up too much. Okay.
On the Amber and Lacy Lacey and Amber Show, we
subject our guests to an expert quiz where we take
a subject our guests. This is an expert on and
we will quiz them. If we win, then we are
the cutest okay. But if our guest wins, then they
(18:40):
are the cutest okay, will say, we hear you know
a lot about Korean dramas. Is this true? Is true?
This is I know she came on and tell me
bitch Shop movie your microphone. I turned the volume uph no, no, no, no, no,
she's nope, You're fine because she's going to administer the quiz.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
This is Becca, Listen, I know more about Korean dramas
than you do.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You sure do you want this? As soon as that's
all Korean dramas, I was like, and the winner is
not Lacey or am so you have gone this already.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I watched the ones that I watched, so I could
also not be an expert on this.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I should have said Star Trek, no you would, and
then you would have to run for your money. I
wrote most of the episodes of Star Trek. People don't
know that? Wait? Seven? Which which?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
All of which series?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
All of them? Everything? Oh wow, I'm seventy five years like, ma'am, listen.
If you're telling me you want don't crack. Come on you.
You did not work on Deep Space nine because you
would have been a child, So don't do that now.
Lover Day Discovery, Strange New World, you would want that,
but you was out here on the original series. Even Jeene,
(19:55):
Ry and Mary didn't make it. Me Jane was like this,
but okay, okay, go ahead, back up, administer this quiz
on Korean dramas.
Speaker 7 (20:05):
Alrighty, who is the ultimate idol? Who will win this
rigorous test of k drama knowledge to become the next idol?
Speaker 8 (20:13):
Are you all ready?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
You're ready, You're ready, We're ready.
Speaker 8 (20:15):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (20:16):
So I'm going to describe a scenario and you're gonna
tell me through multiple choice which of the shows it is.
Speaker 8 (20:22):
All right, So here's the scenario.
Speaker 7 (20:24):
The management company of the popular idol group decided to
add a new member to the group, but the new
member has to go to the US due to an emergency.
His twin sister ends up having to take her Brother's place.
Is it A shut Up Flower boy Band? B Coffee Prints,
C You're Beautiful? Or D to the Beautiful U?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
All of those titles are made up. I want to
say A what I want to say A what's it called? Again? Okay?
Speaker 8 (20:52):
So A was shut Up Flower boy Band?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Okay?
Speaker 8 (20:54):
I want to say, hey, okay, we got one for A.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I wanted to say A two because that sounded the
most ridiculous. But I'm not going to copy off her
because I don't know. I'm going to say it's D
to the Beautiful You, Amber, to.
Speaker 8 (21:03):
The Beautiful You, Amber, what's your vote?
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'm going to say it's C Flower love you beautiful boy.
Speaker 7 (21:13):
Just make it up as though it was. How was
what beautiful? It was a two thousand and nine Southern
Korean drama You're Beautiful, starring Jane No, you know what,
I'm not gonna pronoun the name.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I'm gonna get this wrong. We're not gonna.
Speaker 7 (21:34):
So it was a Southern Korean drama, big big community,
All right?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Amber?
Speaker 8 (21:40):
When question, can any of you all tell me when.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
The idol is? Yes? An idol is a person that
you worship and you love them.
Speaker 8 (21:49):
Vaguely and what it will do.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It is to get you forty years in the desert
in the Old Testament.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's what an idol, this worship and id an idol
is a Oh, I'm going to take the negative two.
Please give me negative two points. I don't know anything
how this has anything to do with Korean dramas, and
I'm gonna say something wrong. No, I don't know what
a one of.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
The wave stars.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
An idol is a you can be either an actor
or a musician, and you're part of the Oh, what's
the wave, Hollyholm wave, You're one of the wave stars.
Speaker 7 (22:22):
Okay, So I'm gonna give a half a point to
Dulca because it is a vaguely musician, singer, performer.
Speaker 8 (22:30):
Basically, idols in Korea are their celebrities.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
So all of their biggest celebrities are considered idols, and
they usually hire one of these idols as a star
in the Korean drama. So like think of BTS, they
are considered idols, and a BTS star would be typically
also in a like a titular.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Role in a Korean drama.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
So it is like they're like a list is is
their idols? So okay, all right, next question in which
of these Korean dramas do the main characters have a kiss?
Is it A city Hunter and Personal State, B Vampire
prosecutor and bridal musk C Pinocchio and the Heirs and
(23:17):
D You're Beautiful and.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Never seen any of these shows. I think this is
historical dramas I know way too much about, like ancient Korea.
Like the historical dramas I love those. Say the name
use it a food kiss, So this is not This
is not the same as a kimchi slap.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
No, this is so basically imagine two of the main
characters trying to kiss while holding food lady in tramp style.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
And what are the names again?
Speaker 7 (23:43):
A City Hunter and Personal State, B Vampire prosecutor and
bridal mask see Pinocchio and the Heirs or D your
Beautiful and Big, which feels a little wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I feel like it's B Vampire prosecutor and bridal mask. Okay,
because whenever I am around a vampire wearing a bride
just oh, okay, this happened. She did the research. I
was gonna say either Pinocchio or the vampire mask as well.
Go with your heart, but.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Beautiful and big, beautiful and big.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I think is a trick because big might not mean
like in the way we think of it. It might
just be like this person's tall.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
Okay, we got two for vampires.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I'm gonna say the vampire mask, even though I should
say Pinocchio.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Guys, vampires don't eat food when they're in love with
your true Okay, wait, wait, wait, I know I can't
change my answer, but I want to say Pinocchio as
you can.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Okay, they's no rules, Pinocchio, Pinocchio.
Speaker 7 (24:39):
Okay, so we all one for vampire, one for Pinocchio, Amber,
what's your final answer?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Beautiful and big?
Speaker 8 (24:44):
Those is right?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Show about I'm sure the Man Who's a Liar?
Speaker 7 (24:50):
Well, but it is one of the highest grossing k
dramas made out of China. It was selling for Record
Prize at two hundred and eighty per episode and apparently
food kisses are a big trope in Korean dramas, but
this one came from a scene where the couple were
(25:11):
kind of flirting and they share this kiss between a
piece of bread. But it was all made up in
the dad's mind, like he was like angry at his son.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
What year did this show come out?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
This show came out in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Okay, because that's not the trend right now.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
The trend right now is if you're in a modern
day drama, it is the it is a man. The
couple gets drunk off of soju, she and he has
to piggyback carry her home. If you're watching a modern
day drama, every single drama, and sometimes it's or if
there's like really close friends, like if it's two guys,
(25:46):
then they also will have the oh you're too drunk,
let me peggyback you. Because once you I was watching
they were both very drunk and they kept trying to
piggyback carry each other, which was very fun. It's like, oh, no,
we're good friends, like keng let me cherry. You're like no,
hung up, like let me tell you. So it's like
it's a that's the trope and that food kiss thing
I haven't seen.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Well.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I was going to say one of my next questions,
there are ten popular tropes I have here. Oh whoever
names the most tropes win, so you just still say
named the piggybacking and soju.
Speaker 8 (26:17):
Those are two on my list.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
That's two. One is Subway sandwiches, another is fullaving. I
don't know you guys. One is like flash mob dance.
A let's see, there's going to be a chilbol So
there's going to be a rich guy and a poor girl,
rich fan, poor man, rain kissing. It's gotta be on there. Oh,
(26:44):
when they finally do kiss, it's going to be shot
from fifteen thousands and it's going to be stop motions.
I tell you it's a kiss, but it's like from
here and from here, here, from here and from here,
a kiss from a million different angles. Rich man, poor
man that sold you the piggyback carry if it's a
(27:05):
modern one, him reaching across her to put on her
seat belt, where you think they might kiss, but they don't.
I know one them taking a very long when sorry,
it's when he comes up behind her and he goes
to kiss her, but then she turns around and it
was the last So no, that's not it was a
(27:26):
dog nor well, I'm just trying to get about knocking
on the door and running away. Let's see, And then
I think that one, but let's see. Also, if there
(27:47):
is a betrayal of some sort, there's always an angry parent.
How many did she.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
Want answer? But she listed actually only three. The ten
that I have here are a soju drinking scene, a
piggy back sleeping together without sex, just sharing a bed,
sickness so one gets sick and the other one has
to take care of them. And then third spaces for talks,
(28:16):
so parks and buses, uh, the elevator and train crush.
Just spotting someone and then like locking eyes and being like,
oh my god, I'm in love with them.
Speaker 8 (28:24):
And then they disappear.
Speaker 7 (28:26):
Food, so eating around food like hangover soup, kimchi ramene.
The head pat like an endearing like little.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, he will pat her on her head and she'll
be like.
Speaker 8 (28:36):
And then the back hug so hugging them from that
was you.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
That was fine, that was me. That's one point. Dog,
Just have.
Speaker 8 (28:49):
One final question for y'all. True or false.
Speaker 7 (28:53):
Korean dramas are filled with a lot of self falls.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
Everyone at the point it is, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
That's why my mom loves them. Actually, they just had
an article come out A girl hit me up on Twitter.
I didn't get to a chance with it, but it
was in the New York Times that Korean dramas are
very popular among black women, and the article was really
just trying to find out it was a Korean American
woman who was just trying to find out why, and
I couldn't get back to her in time to be
(29:21):
like interviewed for the article. But I've been watching them
since I was like fifteen. Who because Atlanta people don't
know that, like Atlanta has a very large car.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
I think it's like the third highest Korean population in
the country.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Who.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
So Atlanta has a Korean TV station too.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
There was like the English channels, there was two Spanish channels,
and then there's a Korean TV station, a Korean TV channel,
and so I was just flipping through the channels one
day and I just was like, what is this show?
And there was subtitles, So I just watched it and
then I've been like watching them ever since. But like
I think they said in the article that, like the
reason it's so popular with black women is one, it's
(29:55):
not white people falling in love. Also, the reason that
I liked them is because in America, we whenever there's
like a rom com, it's always like you see the
woman fall in love and you see her being pursued,
but you rarely see the man falling in love. So
on those shows you see like both there's one episode,
like one show was watching and like the girl had
(30:16):
texted the guy and you see him in bed, like
kicking his feet and like being so happy that she
like reached out to him. Oh that's cute. It's so cute.
And I think the other reason that I like it
is it's like it takes like a lot of these dramas.
Even it's like a limited series, it'll be like sixteen
to twenty episodes. It'll be seven or eight episodes before
they hold hands.
Speaker 8 (30:37):
Oh, such a slow belt.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
That's cute as opposed to like America where you're like
Sex and the City taught everybody to sleep with somebody
on the third date, and it's like one night.
Speaker 8 (30:47):
One night.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I like it. I mean, Noah, I like it. But yeah,
who won this? I mean I think we know who?
Speaker 8 (30:55):
What don't say? I think it's it's clar.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
It's me, all right.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
But yeah, they've had like a couple of articles written
about like why we're I can see why you'd be
upseessed obsessed with them.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Honestly, they're very well made well.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Also, it's like the show The Good Doctor is actually
like a Korean drama that brought over to America. So
what I've been trying to figure out how to do
is get the rights to one of these shows, start
working on. I mean, you're amblete. I'll talk to you, ambulance.
I'm telling you there's a show that I got there
as at least one show. There's two shows I got
in mind right now? All right, friend, let's talk about this. Friend,
(31:35):
are in the break. When we come back after this
short break, we're going to put our minds together to
help some people out. Okay, we're back. Do we'll say
(31:55):
you always tell it like it is. I know you're
the kind of friend to turn to when you need
some advice. So let's brainstorm and help some people out
who wrote into our show. If you want to write
into the show, leave a comment on our Instagram or
send an email to Amber and Lacy Advice yet gmails
like okay here we sorry Gmail.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Also quick disclaimer hold on because I don't want to
say anything.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
The article that I'm talking about was in the Washington
Post and it was written by Sung because I didn't
want to know. I want to give credit. What credit was? Yay?
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, you don't want to people working. So I'm helping
people now listen.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
If this is about a boy, I can't help nobody
because I make in the words of the little boy
on the Internet, I make bad financial decisions. That's not true.
I make bad romantic decisions because I don't know what
I'm doing. A nice man, A good man, never met one,
But it ain't that I could do.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
There's one walking past my house right now.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Ain't ship shoot him with an arrow, but the first
when you're dealing with him the misery, So yeah, I can't.
I can't tell you about a good man but a
trash man here of research? Okay, all right, product development
as Let's see who these people are what their problems are.
(33:20):
Number One, my partner keeps whistling every time a song
comes on in the car. I have asked him to stop,
and he acts like I am the crazy one because
he is not even aware he's doing it. I can't
tell you how much it gets under my skin. How
do I deal with this? Okay? First of all, giving
him sulky snacks, are giving him? Give him a lemon?
(33:41):
So like in the cartoons were Tom, Jerry, Tom and Jerry. Well,
first of all, this is written about me because I
will whistle a bitch down. I will whistle an entire song.
No one on her profession. I need to jump in
(34:03):
on this. Help it. Her and my father are the
best whistlers in the world ever kild whistle an opera.
It's beautiful, She's amazing. I'm whistler's mother. I sure can
can't help it.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Can you do the cricket sound? Though I didn't hear anything?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Can you hear it? We didn't hear anything. My thing's
not close enough, no, Frian, Oh no, but we heard. No,
she did a great job. That was me. You did
a good job. Oh, it's cutting it out for ambut. Wow.
We need to go back to that question that that
skype revenge because as he does it, okay, stop, but
(34:45):
she's already asked him to stop, and he's like, but
I'm not even whistling. What she needs to do is
record him, because he's like, I'm not even whistling, So
he doesn't even notice or he doesn't care. So it's
like it probably is he I mean, he don't care.
But like, I think she needs to recor cord him
and be like, I think, hey, remember that's the only
way he's gonna know, right, Because it's like sometimes it's
(35:06):
like trying to tell somebody to like, say, you first
get a dog and you have to remember to keep
the toilet seat down so the dog doesn't drink out
of the trip, right, So then you have to remind somebody, hey,
the toilets twists. Yea of twilets. So I think it
just happened. It might just be a subconscious thing he's
not even thinking about. So I think she just has
to record him or punch him in his arm every
(35:26):
time you or both punch, record, punch record, Yeah, Or
maybe it's like, oh, she could do like a swear
jar thing where it's like every time he whistles, every
time you whistle venmoy five bucks, it's a nice little say,
or hand me fine bucks and I promise you monetary
inspiration and stimulation and likes.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
We'll get that man.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
We solve that problem. To start with more cations. The
second one is, am I weird for not wanting to
wear something borrowed from my family on my wedding day?
She could wear a hair clip. I mean, no, you're
not weird, But also, lie, can't you just be like, yeah,
I wore I mean, do they have to see it?
Or get your mom's old garter belt. There's a lot
(36:09):
of stuff going on at a wedding. Yeah, you can
wear a necklace. Why does she not want to wear
something borrow? Does she not like they stuff? She don't
like they stuff? Or she just borrow that's right. They're like,
wear this cowboy hat and she's like no, and I'm
not gonna lie. Why am I super ugly? I don't
want to wear Why am I.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Wearing high top sneakers? I don't want to borrow this?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Right?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
And it's like, oh, where Grandma's ring?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And it's like, but Grandma's ring is fake, which as
someone who whose jewelry changes color, Oh, I love storious great.
I think it's one of the best inventions we ever
came up with. Who said gold has to stay gold?
You know what I mean? Why become bronze at some point?
(36:58):
Who knows? But I don't think it's weird. I think
it's we need more information. Yeah, what are hers? I
agree with you because it's like if the bar thing
was like, all we got is this lawnmower. Push it right,
I don't want that fucking thing either, So it's like
I think she's not giving great borrowed options. So it's like, oh,
(37:21):
here's your grandma's brought from the fifties. Like, no, I
don't want to wear that. There's whalebone in that. I
don't want to wear it, but I love it craziness,
but I don't. I don't. Yeah, I don't think it's weird.
I just need more information. So if it's not anything
that's ugly, just fucking. It's kind of like graduations are
for your parents and weddings or try to compromise. Yeah,
(37:42):
maybe one day you'll have your birthday and you can
do your own ship. But until then, right, wear the
whale bones day? Is that are really for you? Are
your birthday and your funeral, and even then your family
makes it back. Sorry, guys, you gotta wear it. Yeah,
wear the two number three. Sorry. I'm taking a class
this year in college that will have us presenting a lot.
(38:03):
It feels like there are a hundred people in this class.
Do you have any advice to help me with my
nerves about public speaking? Oh? Yes, I think you should
picture your audience naked so that I can have the giggles. Well,
why if you have issues with public speaking, why did
(38:26):
you register for this class? Maybe to conquer their issues. Now, okay,
if now we out here conquering, if we out here
trying to face the feast, if you're out here trying
to put you know, fair factor Joe Rogan's style with
this class, the best thing to do is pick a
point in the back of the room. So say there's
like a clock or something on the back wall, pick
(38:48):
a point in the back of the room and talk
directly to them. I agree, Yeah, that's what they taught
us to do. And in school is you look at
theater at the top of everyone's heads and it makes
them feel like you're looking directly at them. I still
do that because sometimes you're saying a joke and you
don't want to see what the response is. I don't
have the heart to look you in the eye as
(39:09):
I tell this terrible joke. Let me look just over
the top of your head. So I've been telling this
joke about when I went to Turks and Caicos at
the beginning of the he was waiting at twenty twenty two,
and uh, I do want to side on the joke
that's literally just for like the black people in the
room where I talk about how Lisa Ray was the
first Lady of Turks and Caicos. But no, Lisa Ray
(39:39):
was the first lady of Turks and Caicos because she
was married to the Prime Minister of Turks and Caicos
and he got arrested for embezzlement and they got the word,
which is the most Lisa Ray thing that could happen.
And also she's the brat'sas sister. So I'm saying this
so like I've just started turing waut Turch and Caikos.
And then I was like, I literally just said that
(39:59):
for the t black people, white people stopping. It was
literally with the black people in the audience, and there's
always a white woman that goes the brad's sister. But really,
and I was like, okay, know what your kids.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
But it's truly just for me. It's truly just for me.
Taping at Montreal about uh and I was doing that
set and I.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Was like, I have to cut this lace to Ray. Shit,
no one, I can't. This barely works in America. I
know it's not gonna work in Canada, but it's truly
just for me. That and I have another bit about
how it's only funny to me. I swear and like
one other person. But I just think about like this
young white girl, like, you know, she starts dating this
black dude. Her family abandons her, you know, they cut
(40:41):
ties with her because they're so racist, and Daddy, I
love him on some little mermaid shit and they wait
to have sex and they get married and then his
dick is small. And it makes me laugh so much
because it's like, shes like she heard, you know, because
you always hear about all black dudes, like all black
(41:03):
men don't have big dicks, All white men don't have
small decks, right, And so you know, she gets married,
her parents don't come, her dad doesn't walk her down
the aisle, all this other shit. All she had left
was that on her wedding night small. It's so funny
to me.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
All she had left was that hope. And then that's
the way that.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Was taken away from her because she thought she was
gonna get dicked yes, because when you think you're gonna
get dicked down and then you don't, it's very maddening.
Very some man the other day was like, I'm gonna
gave you up. And the only good part about hanging
out with that nigga was skinny different the rest of it.
I was like, Z but again, that's funny to y'all.
(41:40):
I can't think of anywhere else, like at least ray thing,
and then that I can't. Some bits you just are,
they're yours and there's nothing that can be done with them.
What's the next bit of advice? Also, have sex before
marriage because you don't want to get find out what
you're getting into find out. This is just general advice. Listen.
My Bob is a good Christian woman. I remember was
sitting on the porch one day. My mother came outside
(42:02):
and she goes, I mean, I know, are you supposed
to you don't want to nothing bad? And I was like, oh,
but ma'am, I'm thirty. Where was Bless her heart? She
thought she was giving you some advice something that's cute. Listen.
I think she was trying to alleviate because it was like,
(42:23):
you do want to wait, but thelecture has sailed. Listen,
you might find out a deal break. Yeah, you have
to guys. This is the next one. Since Lacy took
those etiquette classes, I'm wondering what is the etiquette on
receiving a card by hand? Do you open it? Do
you open it up in front of the person or
just say thank you? And wait it's a good question. Now,
(42:45):
good question. Okay, so I'm gonna hands you out. Was
big on etiquette. We have this book. What was that book?
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Amber?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Amber? Oh Amber doesn't even remember this. I don't think
hents Mellowise, But there was etiquette in there too, And
I was talking about how they were teaching etiquette classes
here in Omaha, and I thought it was the best
thing ever. In Amber was making fun of me. But
I like for kids to act right in public. That's
what I feel like, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Yeah, oh no, everyone should take ediga classes whenever.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Like the biggest the thing that would make my vagina
just slam shut is if a man is holding a
fork or like a shovel. Oh like to see a
man like I don't remember when I learned how to
hold a fork, but I know how to hold a
fork right, And to see a grown man, a grown
ass man, an overgrown man, as my mother would call
(43:31):
these man eating eating food, like were you just kind
of like he's just digging into something and just like
and I was like, okay, I don't, I don't, I
don't give and I'm going to piggyback on your shoveling,
because I'll take shoveling before. I went out on a
date last night to a very nice restaurant, and when
(43:51):
you were talking about how you just went through some stuff,
I had to let this man go. This man is
in the restaurant and he's waving his arms and he's
talking about the scariest night of his life when he
was in Florida and his cousin got shot. Okay, And
when I tell you, everyone could hear, and he said
(44:11):
and didn't there was blood. And I was like, if
you just don't eat that bread. So I just kept
putting that you just got it what it's omaha, Nebraska's
my life. He was being every then the watress would
come over and he would shoot a joke that he'd
go back to the shooting story, and I was like, oh,
I can't this is this is he was attend the
whole time. No, oh, absolutely not. It just was the
(44:34):
last phone call ended badly. He wanted to see me.
I was like, this is no, it's not working out.
You know you're loud, right because I love you loud,
you know, but os is I don't need you allowed
attention on me, and I don't need everyone to Everyone
don't need to hear that story. I didn't need to
(44:55):
hear the story. You've told us seven times. I've heard
it before, so I'm working on me because he said, oh,
you always tell me when I tell you a story,
and that's rude. So I'm letting them, letting them tell
a story now for the seventh time. But I figured
out it wasn't for me. He's just want people to hear.
He wants everyone to hear his story. You think the
story is great. Story is not great. It's dumb. I
want to hear it. So I was like, you're you're
(45:16):
attention seeker. He's an attention seeker, And I was like,
this story isn't for me. Cousin got shot when he
was twelve, so he wants people to know and it
grazed his butt. So I said, oh, it was his
life in dangerous. It's not even a good story. It's
not like a fifty cent story, okay, Grace. Yes, Also,
(45:37):
you don't strike me as the type of woman who
would be impressed with a shooting. Think I love you
so much, but why I love you for saying that
and I'm sitting there thinking, why is he telling me
because he only has seven you because I've told him
stop telling me these stories. I've heard them before. I
(45:59):
would love to take because it's like, you need to
know where the fork is? Do you need to because
it's like we're trying to act like we don't need
but like was etiquette used to? Were there too many forks? Yes?
Did we have all these forks because there's no TV? Okay,
all we're doing is reading or playing a game or work,
(46:21):
like there was no meals.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Took a long time to prepare so that there was
other things.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
We were hunting for food, we were learning to read.
But for most of human for most of human history,
we were very preoccupied with staying alive. And then now
we're so alive, we have to worry about being killed,
like there's dinosaurs outside just because we went to a
(46:48):
public fucking place. So like for most of human history,
we had a lot of time on our hands. So
it's like, Okay, let's invent all these forks. We need
a bunch of knives. We need a giant we need
a big as place setting. We need chargers, we need plates,
we need bread plates, we need salad plates. We need
salad balls, we need dinner plates, we need wine glasses,
ice works plates. Look at all the just the number
(47:11):
of glasses, just the types. Yeah of glass, too many,
too many glasses, champagne flutes. And then there's like the
fact that there's a different glass for red and white wine.
Is there?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I didn't know that, Yes, there's different glass for but
also there's a specific glass for like there's a water glass,
and then there's like a tea glass, and then there
is a butter knife, and then a regular knife, and
then a steak knife, and then there's like a seafoods
fork and a salad f and a dinner fork, and
then a tea spoon and a dessert spoon and a
soup spoon.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Like all of these it's because we had time. But
now we don't have this time. Now it's we got sporks.
Now they just put it all together. That's right, we're
out here trying to get now. I don't know how busy,
why we're all so busy. I don't know why we
all need red bull, But you know it's we used
to have a lot of times for things, right, So
you used to be able to have to have a
(48:05):
lot of different kind of stories and come up with
a lot of Hey man, I got to keep these
people interested because we got to do this again tomorrow. Right,
there's no electricity now, mind you. You could have a
nice story. You could blow a candle out and that
could be just throw a blanket over your kids and
this is a good night, like you do a bird.
So it was a long time. We had a lot
of free time. But now today wrap the story up. Bro,
(48:27):
I don't need to hear about this. Your life's not
interested all. And it's like we needed etiquette because we
had too much free time. But you still need to
know which fork d I'll give you two forks. Think
about the first time you went to a restaurant and
they used a com street. I mean, I was like,
what kind of restaurants are you going to do? Let
(48:50):
me write out that rest real quickly. I'm reservation for one. Okay, okay,
as someone who as someone who hates that particular thing,
(49:12):
I hate that I even said that, because man, anytime
I interact with it, I'm here right, No, I guess okay,
that's that. Thank you that do sloan and buy her
lip gloss giggle gloss. What's your favorite what's your favorite shade? Yay?
(49:37):
My favorite shade is thank you so much I am.
It's a tie with no more Broke Dick and future wife. Okay,
please go get her losses. But if I please, please please.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
I would love to send y'all some If you send
me your address, I'll send y'all.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Get your information after this because you're going to be
on our new dating segment that We're pleasing and.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Follow us at Amber Ruffin and at Lacey lamar One.
Follow our podcast Speed for bonus episodes on Fridays. If
you like what you heard, say something nice and Amber,
what do you say?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
If you don't. If you don't like us, go pet
a sting ring got a snake. If you don't like
us anyway, thank you and we will see you lady
yay
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