April 2, 2025 • 47 mins
This week Amber and Lacey have internet QUEEN Kami Crawford, known from 'Catfish' and her podcast 'Relationshit' who talks about love, health, sex, and dating as a public person. Lacey shares some hilarious and cringe-worthy DMs, including a man misleadingly asking for a tour of Omaha and another making an inappropriate video chat call, and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Amberben Lacey. We always the lever. If you don't like
the show, we'll throw you in a river. Every lazy,
lazy an ambush coodn't splash that didn't like the show. Yeah, sorry, guys,
(00:23):
right now you thought we was a joker. We'll do
it now. Will you ever find me close enough to
a river to throw someone in it? No? No, but
the but the feeling is there, maybe the lazy fun,
maybe all fun, maybe like a lazy river. Depends is
my hair braided? Then maybe my hair is not braided. Guys,
(00:47):
A lot of variables that have to be happening for
us to be near a river. Yeah, sorry, guys, high
Lacey injury. Hi, what's going on? Thank you for asking.
I am going to have a giant summer party this weekend.
I usually do. You didn't call. Sorry, Sorry, it's only
because you live in another state. Now. I'm usually having
(01:07):
a giant somber party. I have a lot of them.
You do love good for me. It's fun. But this
one's going to be a little special because I got
my window seat reupholstered, and that's my life lately. Whoa
old people miss this? This woman got a window seat
(01:30):
a poster and you all I can think about she
won the lottery. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
You did when the window Seed lottery. If there was
one I did, it's beautiful. Oh my god. Okay, sorry
to push your window Seed story out of the way,
but we're gonna talk about You'll never believe what happened
to Lacey. Crazy Stories of Racism. That is our book.
(01:50):
First of all that Amber and I wrote the New
York Times bestseller this stuff always happens to me and Omaha, Nebraska,
and let me get my angry story out right now.
I do have permission for my child to tell this story.
My daughter was ill the other day and became dehydrated
because she kept throwing up. She had like a stomach bug,
and she went to emerging care. We've all been to
emerging care, and I know that it was a combination
(02:13):
of things. It was the color of her skin, and
it was how she was dressed. She was wearing a
pejs then little slippers, and she had a little little
blanket wrapped around her, and she was throwing up and
she was real shaky. And she goes in and my
guy takes a look at her and goes, what's happening,
what's going on? Like I've been throwing up. He said, well,
tell me what would you do today? She goes, I
haven't eaten anything, I haven't done anything. We would you
do yesterday? Oh? I did this. I went out with
(02:35):
my friends. Did you drink yet? A couple drinks with
my friends. He goes, you're going through alcoholic that was
his diagnosis. Now see, when you're black and you go
to the you go to the er, or you go
be in for some mess. And it was so funny.
I did not go with her. Her boyfriend went with her,
but in my head I was like, this could go
either way. I was clearly thinking. So then he goes,
I'm gonna have to send you to another hospital. There's
(02:56):
not gonna do. I gotta send you to the hospital.
So she goes to the hospital and she walks in
and the nurse takes one look at her and she
starts getting in it. So my daughter, she was very
rude from the start. And I meet her at the
hospital so I can watch all of this going. I
also she says to my daughter, do you have your ID?
Oh my god, no, I'm so sorry. I and My
daughter is the sweetest person on earth. She's apologiz well,
(03:18):
she's like shaking and all sickly. She goes, oh, no,
I'm sorry. We just ran out of the house. But
when I went to the emergent care, they have all
the information there. I'm in the system. It got transferred
to you. A lady goes, listen, you're an adult. You
never leave your house without and just starts going in
and in and in. So my daughter goes, mom, they're
being mean to me. And I jump up because I
hadn't said anything. And I saved the day because I
(03:40):
walk over and you would not believe the shirt that
I happened to have on. I didn't put this on.
I had that shirt on earlier in the day. I
didn't know if this was going to happen. It said
we will no longer negotiate with racists. So the woman
saw my shirt. I didn't know that. Yeah, had I
no longer negotiate with racist? Didn't you mean to put it?
(04:00):
So this old white woman was like, oh, and when
I tell you that tune changed in two seconds, she
was like, oh, yeah, yeah, okay, And I said, you
don't need her ID. It's already in the system. They
didn't need it over there. The man said it was fine,
and she goes, you're right, you're right, you're right, we
don't need it. It's in here like it's like I
was like doing the Jedi mind trick telling her, and
she was repeating it, you're right, you're right, you're right,
we're fine, we're fine, we don't need it. I'm fine,
(04:21):
I'm fine. So she puts her in the system. We
go back. Then humiliation begins because now you're in the
system and the explanation is you're going through alcoholic drawls,
which is not the correct, you know, diagnosis. So the nurse,
I'm not blaming the nurse. She's reading the chart that
was sent over and she goes, okay, so how many
drinks are you drinking a day? Baby, and he's like,
(04:42):
drink And of course the lady's like, yeah, little alcoholic,
we know you're drinking every day. And I just was like,
she's not, she's not. So then we finally get back
to a real doctor and that doctor comes and that
woman goes before I can say, I go listen, the
diagnosis is wrong. I'm so sorry your daughter is not
(05:03):
going through our college rows. We know. She goes, I know,
I know, I know. I am very sorry. She said,
this is a little overzealous. And I think she said, baby,
over zealous child. He's a brand new doctor. And she goes,
he will be getting a training on diagnosing people and
what he needs to do. And I said, thank you
for saying that, And that was my evening. Everyone, Yeah,
(05:24):
in black going to the ear. You don't know what
you're gonna get. You don't know what you're gonna get
diagnosed with. Every time my doctor gives me serious medication,
I keep it and I save it and I don't
use it for whatever they gave it to me for,
because I think, well, this doctor believes that I'm in
believes you. The next doctor won't. So I have to
keep this medication because they're gonna think I'm drug sinking
(05:48):
everyone that is not black. Are you listening to this.
This is a thing that we do. We keep our
pain medication because we know going in if we are
in pain, they're going to first think that you you
are seeking paying drugs. You're seeking drugs, you're drug seeking
what is it? That's right? Yeah? Yeah, so you know
we want you hold on to hold on to that
(06:10):
and think about it every time someone treats you right.
All right, Hey, everybody, this is the Amber and Lacey,
Lacy and Amber Show. Today's guest is Kimmy Crawford. She's
h you know, from Catfish from Are You the One?
She's the host of the podcast Relationship with Jimmy Crawford.
So you're going to stay tuned and we love you
(06:34):
and you're gonna love Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the second act of Boom Chicago. Sorry,
that's what I always think whenever we come back. Welcome
back to the second part of The Lazy, Lacy and
Amber Show. Okay, listen up. You heard about her before
we went to commercial, and we made good on our promise. Folks,
we've kidnapped Cammy Crawford and fucking gone through her wardrobe.
(07:15):
We do.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Is it a kidnapping? If I came willingly, okay, great.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Because there is food. If we can't nap, great, You're
gonna be fed.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
That's all I care about.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Feed me, make sure I have good snacks, make sure
I have access to Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And that's really all I need.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
We should be kidnapping more people, and I don't mean
that like everyone. But I do mean that, lady, and
I should be kidnapping more people.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Oh no, I have a few already in mind for listen.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You've had me say it before, I'll say it again.
Cammy Crawford is a TV host. You remember her from
fucking Catfish? My God, what job, dude? Damn? And then
paramount pluses? Are you the one? Uh? You've seen her
on the cover of Sports Illustrated, But what we know
(08:04):
her from is her podcast relationship with Cammy Crawford is
Cammy Crafer. Dude, you'd have been through it. Yeah, you've
seen it, buddy.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Been there and done that, got my T shirt a
few times.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, No, that's right. You must have like the strongest
stomach of all time. I swear to you. If someone
gets like a little too close to like saying something embarrassing,
I'm on the floor. I can't live. Yeah, your stomach
for that must be just infinite.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I actually think that it's the opposite, because I, over
the past two years, have suffered with tremendous gut health issues,
and now that you like mentioned it, I'm like, oh, yeah,
I might be entitled to conversation somewhere.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, you should have gotten to uh, the therapist instead
of the gut doctor.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I did, I actually did both.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
But honestly, the crazy part is my therapist and I
we never really I can't remember one instance where we
ever talked about a catfish scenario because it's like, I
have more important things to talk about, like my mental health,
my own personal mental health. But also I don't think
she would believe me. Like half the things that I
would have to tell her, I don't think she would
(09:22):
even believe me.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, I know, dude. What are all of your
feelings today?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Ooh oh, I love this question? Wow A few? I
have a few. I am on the precipice of my
luteal face. So I am in a very ticking time
bomb type of mood. You know, I'm very close to
a mental breakdown at any point today. If my boyfriend
(09:53):
even breathes on me in the wrong direction. Other than that,
I feel great, incredible. No, it's definitely I know when
it's coming. When like anything that he says, I'm.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like, I don't count, I don't get right, I am,
but he's so amazing. So it's really it is my fault.
It's my personal problem.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
But he has to do. I know that I'm hurling
towards a mental breakdown when I open up my my
calendar and then I start canceling things one by one.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't think I'm going to be able to love
to cancel and.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Love if you text me.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, when someone texts you and they're like, oh, I
can't make it, I'm so sorry, Like, do you mind?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I do not mind? Please cancel, ye, please mind.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm on my couch. I'm watching Netflix now, the three
of us. I would like to stress that this does
not apply to professional events.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
No, of course not.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Okay, we're just talking about friends. I will cancel on
my friends. They know they're fine, Yes, they're good. I'm
just no, my friend, you all they know what did
we I think I was just talking to someone who
was like someone was whining about you're always canceling on me.
We can't be friends. I would never be able to
(11:14):
hold a friend my friends. No, I will make I'm
not the same person I was at eleven am when
I said, guys, let's go out tonight. No, they know, no,
there's a ninety percent that's not I'm gonna be like guys,
it's five o'clock. I'm sitting, That's what I'm sitting.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I'm a big advocate for low maintenance friendships. And I've
said this on the internet before and got some flak
from it because people were like, that's unfair, like you're
looking for friends who don't need anything from them. Like, yeah, actually,
my friends understand. We all understand that we all have lives.
There is not a friend that I have close to me.
(11:51):
This is why I've kept the same friends since the
third grade and since I new friends, no new friends,
because unless you are a friend who is under standing
of the fact that sometimes you just can't.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Sometimes you just can't.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
And like, if I have a friend that I requires
me to check in on them on a daily basis, girl,
I'm trying to check it on myself on a weekly basis.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I feel like those friends I have them already, Like
all those positions have been filled. Thank you so much
for your application. Yes, the friends I'm talking about are like, hey,
did you see that this movie is coming out? Or
I found a place we can yell and not get
thrown out. That's what I'm after, Like, I don't want
(12:33):
to sit and pick your brain about my professional options.
No them, positions have been filled. I met a lady Munson.
I thought this was this is gonna be my cool
new friend. She's great, and I said, let's do lunchome
you know, And I told her I love to go
to this one place with my friends. We go there
all the time. I'll invite you. I invited her. She
showed up. I was with my friends and she sat
(12:55):
in silence the whole time. And then afterwards she sent
me a text. I was just really disappointed that you
invited all your friends and I really didn't get a
chance to talk.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Babe.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Okay, no, it sounds like you're looking for a date.
It sounds like you're looking.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
For a date.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Listen, I'm not that person for you. I'm not exactly
you could have jumped in any I have jumped in before.
Questions yourself not if you.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Are looking for a significant other, you know you might
have to look elsewhere. But I have had these conversations
with friends, and I am my My longtime friends will
tell you I am notorious for dumping a friend. Once
a year, I tried to jump at least one person.
(13:42):
In my language, key and lazy, the same person.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You're the same person don't get on my bask I
don't say nothing crazy to me, don't try to make
me do the work. We are not in group therapy.
You think therapy. We're not in group therapy at all.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
What are what are our signs?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Or I'm the Pisces cappy corn. But if you also
just get really disrespectful and do something low down, crazy, bizarre,
I'm out. I don't have time to work through that
on why you did. I'm not going to ask you
why because you know what you were there. You know
what you did like we don't want to do. You
were there, and I'm out. I will not try to
(14:17):
argue with you, try to work through why you did.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Out Now we're good as a Scorpio and a fellow
water sign.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I understand.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
We don't have to ever talk about it ever. Actually
I've actually dumbed friends where we've never had a conversation
about it, and we never will.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I never, I never have a conversation. And my friends know.
All of my friends know this. If I stop talking
to you, don't come looking for me, because it's done it.
That's it now. I will say this is where we
part ways because every friend I make I'm like I
love them. I love them forever. I just don't expect
anything from people. No, Like, if I had a friend
(14:53):
and they didn't call me back, I'd be like, Okay,
then there, I'm still going to invite them when it's
time to party. Yeah. But if I a friend and
they show me their whole ass and I'm like, well,
now you can't come to parties because if I introduce
you to my little friends and you do them the
way you did me, nah, I'm the asshole. So now
you can't be around. But that list is so fucking short.
(15:13):
I think that might be because I'm the wild one.
I mean, how come I have so many new friends
at such a fast pace and I'm never like so
and so is bad.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
It's maybe am because you can't capricorns. I don't feel
like capricorns play that.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh I have a disorder where I automatically if I
meet a person and talk to them, I love them
and they love me. You can convince me otherwise.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Oh, you have Libra in your chart somewhere.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Sometimes Amber that person was not and she'd be like, what,
I'm like, didn't you see them doing say this, this
and this? And she'd be like like my gerald. He
didn't need it. I can see that I love it.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
But that's beautiful. That's beautiful.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
That's how you make friends. I, on the other hand,
not that I'm against making friends. I love people, but
there are a lot of people who think that they
are my friends that if I were, if I got
put in prison and I needed bail money, I would not.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Call them because I don't even know your phone number. Now,
you wouldn't even come top of mine.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's me, that's me for everyone I've ever met. Listen,
if you know me, if you've met me for one second,
I already love you. I think we're best friends. And
every once in a while, and this is true, I
pick up my phone and I look for your number
because I want to text you, but I don't have
it because we're not friends with them call.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
But that's cute, that's really sweet.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
We can meet and even hang out three or four times,
I won't remember you. And two if it's been two months,
I don't know who you are, and people will think,
oh my god, she's so stuck upsett. I don't remember you.
I make a post. Look I'm old. I only have
Facebook that I use. I'll make a post maybe every
three months. I don't know who you are, Like I
just just to cover because I'll hear some one talking
(17:00):
behind my back. I saw her in the grocery store, sheep.
I'll know you. I hung out maybe a couple of times.
I don't remember my eyes. I'm old. I don't remember
who you are. I don't even know your first name.
I know your face maybe if you have the same
outfit on in that song is playing. Otherwise, that's not
a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all.
I just don't remember who you are. Not out of hate.
(17:22):
But sit there and explain it to me in debt,
and I'll be like, oh, okay, okay, yeah, I do remember.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
That's all right. Yeah that's time.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I have not a stuck up bone in my body.
But I don't remember anything.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I don't remember you, and you know what, and that's okay.
There are way too many other things going on in
this world to truly people cannot possibly think that they
are of the utmost importance. I have a list of
important things in my day. Remembering to text you, the
friend that I've known for two months, to ask you
(17:52):
how your bunyan removal went.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I don't remember. I don't know, and they will go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
I told you about the Bunyan removal for two hours brunch.
I don't remember, but I loved it. I don't remember.
I don't remember that. Cor I well, but oh, I
have a story for you guys. So I was out
at this event and I saw I told Amber this.
I saw a really really gorgeous guy and he came
up to me and he's like hey, and I was
(18:18):
like hey, and he was like, you don't remember me,
do you? And I was like nope, and he was like,
I saw you two years ago. You were wearing a
green dress and drinking blah blah blah. And then I
asked you what was going on? And then one of
your friends jumped in between us and told you that
I was married. So you looked at me and said
leave me alone. And I was like, wow, it's like me.
(18:40):
But he wasn't. She was trying to just like not
have me talk to him. Could have been with this
man for two years. He's gorgeous. Amber. Do you remember
the story that I told you about Amber's old You
don't remember, but anyway, Yeah, that was something happened. We're
still chit chatting mind your business. So we've been a
couple of weeks. Sir, if you're listening to this podcast,
(19:01):
I'll talk to you later.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Who was this woman.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
One of my look, one of my friends. I'll talk
to you no more.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
There we go, there we go.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
That is one of my friends that I'll talk to
you no more. So it was, you know, a jealousy thing.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
And and I love that you figured it out before this,
so it wasn't like this was news to you that
she needed to be on the albums.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
But I wholeheartedly, I wholeheartedly believed her. So I was like,
so yeah, and he said you were like, sir, no,
sir no. And I was like, yep, that was me.
I said, well, my crazy self.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
The way that I think about it is at least
he knows in the future, if you do end up
getting married, how you'll curve every man that comes up
to you joke around. He knows that you stand on business.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
He saw the rest of the night, he saw me
being extra mean to everyone. That's just what I do.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
He was like, I like that.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I like, he said, you don't joke around. I said, no,
I do not.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
No, why didn't I speak for himself in that moment.
Why didn't he say something.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Listen, you trying to talk to me and I cut
you off. No one keeps talking to me, Ambernos, no
one keeps talking. You'd have to be so brave. No
one keeps talking.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And what do you want to be here after that?
What is there?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Like?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
No, I'm not married. You're gonna be like, okay, sure
my homegirls.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Say you're married. You're married, you've been married for years. Wow, haters.
There are a lot, you know, And that's the thing
you really don't know. It took a lot of life
and growing up for me to realize that you can't
have friends who are jealous of you, who want to
be you. There is just no Because I grew up
(20:41):
with a mother who everyone was jealous of me. If
you ask her like, she was like, oh, they're jealous.
They're jealous, and it gives you like kind of this
of course, like you know, she raised me to be humble,
but she also raised me to be able to spot
a jealous person in my midst and I would always
think she was exaggerating. But then again, those friendships never
(21:02):
ended up working out because the person ended up doing
something weird like that I had a best friend quote
unquote at one point who sat on my boyfriend's lap
in front of my whole family and there were empty seats,
and my grandma had to check her because I was
so in shock. She was like, get up and go
(21:24):
find a chair. And I truly was like, you, I could.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
See you doing that in some dark club where you
did that in front of somebody's whole family, in front
of grandma.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Sitting around the island table on the high boy chair. Yeah,
what was it was very bizarre?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Black last checond black No.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
No.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Then I wouldn't have even if that was the case,
I wouldn't even told the story because we all would
have known that that was to be expected.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I didn't know everything. Everyone in front of black Grandma
coul See. Your mom could have been from Germany. I
don't know what your no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
My mom's family's from Jamaica might but this was my
dad's mom from Detroit.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
She was a Detroit of those games. She was not
playing those games.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, so you know, and then after that, you know,
everyone in my family referenced her as the friend that
I used to have the set of my boyfriend's lab.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So that was my fault, I'm the problem anything like that.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I mean, could you see it? Well, she was definitely
a hater. She was definitely a hater, and she definitely
tried to like belittle me and little ways and like
say little things, and I just kind of would like
shrug them off. I didn't really internalize them, and but
it progressively got worse, and then I had to.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had to.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
I ended up dropping her as a friend over something
that was so much smaller than that. But it was
like that one thing over the edge.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
And that in high school.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
So I had to keep keep track and keep an
eye keep an eye out for Celeina everywhere I went.
After that, it was like everybody is people you just
never know, and then when you meet those genuine real friends,
you realize why you don't have space for those other
people in your life.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, there's no way. I gotta be honest, I'm
still friends with that girl.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It was like on our life, we.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
All lap up.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Now, what's a game we play? Musical chair?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
That's why. That's why. Because I was like, who's coming on,
That's not what we do.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
That is why.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
That is Jesus, And now she's fine. She used to
be she used to be a lapsitter for su.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
See, and this is what there's you have.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Those people, they exist, they walk among us. You cannot
be that's all like the whole like girls girl thing,
like I am a girl's girl, but other girls girls
don't girls girl the way that I girls girl say that.
I had to realize that I am the oldest of
six girls. I am the ultimate girls girl. You are,
(24:12):
so I know how this.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Is supposed to work.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
And I treat any woman who is in my life
even if you're not a close friend of mine, because
here's the thing, everybody's not my friend. But I will
fight for literally anybody who is in my in my
circle around me. If you are a friend adjacent to
somebody and we are out and somebody tries to play
with you, but I'm not calling you when I go
(24:36):
to jail after the fact, My sisters, other people, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Other people aren't necessarily like that. Like there, it's really sad.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
There's this I say quote, but it was a tweet
that somebody said about like I'm something about like I'm
not a girl's girl.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Some of you are really stupid, and it's like, yeah, yes,
it is true.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
It's true. Like I don't know what she said. She said,
I don't support all women. Some of you bitches are dumb.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And it is. It is.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
I think Unfortunately, I didn't think I retweeted it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
It is.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
It is an unfortunate fact that there And but you
know what, it goes back to the patriarchy of misogyny.
It is a sad fact that so many women have
internalized misogynistic and patriarchal ideals that they then perpetuate amongst women.
We should be able to, you know, be around each
(25:40):
other without you sitting on my man's lap.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I think internalized mistogyny is so we haven't even started
to talk about it. We don't even get the full,
the full breadth of it because it is so prevalent.
And you say that, and I'm like, yeah, internalized misogyny,
But I can't remember anyone ever talking about or like
(26:02):
really hearing the phrase internalized misogyny. The lord. And also,
these next four years aren't going to be the time
when we find.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Out we just need to be working on finding ourselves.
For the next four years, we're just going to start building.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, exactly, you find yourself, find a hiding place, phone
a friend. Hey everyone, when we get back, we are
going to slide into Lacey's DMS in a segment called
Please Slide Out of Lacey's d MS. This is the
Ember and Lacy, Lacy and Amber shar guest is Kimmy Crawford.
Everyone freak out. Hey, hey everyone, we're back. Thank you
(26:50):
for freaking out. This is the Emperor and Lacy, Lacy
and Amber show. You're never gonna believe. What the fuck
Kimmy Crawford? Did I say, Kimmy Crawford? No, I think
you so good.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I wouldn't like Kimmy, I think.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
But then as I as I looked at your name
this time, I was like, oh, Kimmy Crawford, that's my friend.
Then I was like, oh my god, did I switch
the two names once again? Kimmy Crawford hasn't thought about me?
Four grade lapout. She's not she's not thinking about me.
(27:27):
But Kimmy, I love you. It was Kissy. Oh great, everyone,
I'm glad we all had to go through that together.
Here's a segment on the Emperor and Lacey, Lacy and
amberscho Please Slide Out of Lacey's DMS is where Lacey
reads real d ms that people have sent her. It's
gross and I hate it. Let's get it started. Okay,
(27:48):
this first one. I have been waiting to do this,
and I want every woman who is out here to
just put this in your arsenal of responses because I
was like, I can't not take credit for this. I
read it on my Are we still dating? Or are
we dating the same person? I'm on every state or
(28:08):
are we dating the same person? Group? Because I meet
people from all over I meet you, I'm gonna put
you in that group, and you know i'ma meet your wife.
You're gonna pop up. So anyway, so I saw this
in one of those groups maybe four months ago, and
I said, oh, this is gonna happen me. And here
it is. I miss you. That's a text I get
from this guy who I haven't heard from in like
six months, and I said, oh my god, I can't
(28:30):
talk right now. I'm at a funeral. Can't talking. I'm
at a funeral. It's just really crazy right now. Oh
I'm so sorry. He's like, and he goes, who passed away?
And I said, my feelings for you six months ago.
He fell for it for I got time for this
six monks quiet, I sent you the last text. What's
going on? You'd so keep your personal ladies, it's gonna happen.
(28:56):
This man is going to text you I miss you,
or he's gonna text you where you at. He's gonna
just hold on to that. It's free to use. Everybody's
using it. Yeah, you got to sound like you're in
a bad place too. It's terrible, lazys.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
They're not going well.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
No, that he deserved that, because where have you been?
Why do you and why do you miss me? And
that's the thing, why do you miss me? You don't
have to miss me. You have my information. Yeah, at
any choice, you could contact me. Why am I being missed?
That's strange, that sees I don't let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I'll be reading that one again because that one's never
gonna go away. That one is never going away.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
No, that's okay. I love that.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Second one I have is Hey would love for you
to show I'm in Alma, Nebraska. Hey would love for
you to show me around O Maha. Just moved here
a couple of weeks ago, and I said, hey, Jay,
I went to elementary school, junior high, in high school
with you. I'll tell your wife spoke full It's Omaha.
(30:01):
There's three people here. Andy, I said your name. Please
if you if this becomes the clip, this man you'll recognize.
My god, my life have changed. We went to school together.
Oh my god, that's great. Did he respect your mind?
And it's still open? He could still respond to me.
(30:22):
Am I going to talk to his wife? Absolutely not, sir.
You need to be on a site in another state,
not in the same town of Omaha, Nebraska, where I
could probably yell your name out the front door and
you could hear me. Stop it. It's too small. Can't be.
You cannot be a player here.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
I love having the power and the looming threat of
contacting someone's wife or employer. I use both of them regularly.
I'll be like, I'm sure you your wife would love
to hear about this. The amount of DMS that I've
gotten from men who will be like, you're the most
gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
And then I'll look at their profile picture and it's
them with.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Their wife Mary ring on every thing.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
You need to give this energy to her. I do
not want this energy from you. Get out of here.
You're disgusting. You scraam. Go call your wife and tell
her that you love her before I send this to her.
Let her know what you really think. I'm not gonna
send it, but like you know, there should always be
the looming threat. That's what a girl's girl would do.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Mm hmm, that's a real girl's girl.
I have to say my d ms are not used
for this, used for They used for like you should
you should obey trumph like. There's that, and then there's
like people will send me like information about El DeBarge
(31:43):
so publicly love him. Yeah, we love him so bad.
That's how that's my boyfriend. That's sorry. As Lacey's boyfriend,
I'm just a fan.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Would sit on his lap I given the chance, and
they have.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah my dms, no one has ever confessed their Although
I'm not in my I DMS, I don't really want
to know what's going on in this.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
You have to check the hidden folder so you can
see the amount of people sending you messages. Most of
my dms are from people from foreign countries who say
your engagement is dangerously low. Pay US fifty thousand dollars
and we can help you get to two million followers
and subscribers, and we have an air mez factory in
Japan and I get those.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah, so I get those A scam. Yeah they're fun though,
it's fun. I'm a little man, Yeah, a little scam.
I do think we should be scamming more people. And
I mean that, oh, I think that every once in
a while. Every time I see a scam, I go,
why not me? Why couldn't I be doing? You want
(32:47):
to make a quick million dollars? And I'll tell you why,
because instantly I'd be like, I'm so sorry, I can't
believe it. This is my address, this is my name.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Now would it lasts very long?
Speaker 1 (33:00):
The worst ever? Be funny? For that you're gonna say, oh,
this is a scam, and then you're gonna you're gonna
be a stamp.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
But you know what, Unfortunately, in my line of work,
there will be people who will buy in anyway.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
They'll be like, oh, I believe in you.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Here's twenty thousand scam. You're cute. Damn, let's try. Okay,
I like the skim you please, Okay, I have one more?
And it's really grow Okay, this is the norm out here.
I was talking to a guy for a couple of weeks,
Honey asked a video chat. You seemed super sweet, super cute,
and I agree to The video chat came up sitting
(33:36):
in a chair naked. And this happens though, but I
always this was on me. I always say you need
to have your clothes on if we're going to do
a chat, because someone will just pull their dick out. Whatever.
So he was sitting at the chair naked all the
time video chat. They're never addressed. Yes I do, but
I'm gonna stop doing that now because I want to
catch you being terrible and I'm never going to tell
(33:58):
anyone to have their clothes on. Just just let let's
end this right away. But I said, well, hi, I'm
a police officer and I'm gonna report, and he slammed
it shut.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
I love that, Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Like FBI, Yeah, the Federal Boner Investigators.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yeah, you don't have to specify.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I would get a little badge and then just I
should say, and then if they're not naked, then you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Can like take it down. But then if they are naked,
you could show it or.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
You should make your things, say Officer Lacey Lamar. Yeah,
and then you can you guys see this is look,
this is girls, girls, this is.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Girlhood.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Should I just have a had on and the beautiful Yeah,
we'll be like, oh she's gonna strip. Yeah, they might
think too gross. I know, standing there with the real
police officer. Boy, he's just okay, he's fine, stressed, Okay,
carry on, you can go. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Where do they get off?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Like? And we know how they know? I need you
to be that gross during the two weeks that we talk.
Why couldn't you have just been that gross on the phone.
I don't do anything. I don't know. Wow, I'm just
really quiet. Guy. That's always the sign right there. You
can't be that shut it. You're not a shut mass
for shutting that at the high people should be like, Hi,
(35:25):
fart some thinks it's funny. Cries a little too much.
That should be that should that should be how I
legally have to say hi to someone I want to date. Hi. Yeah,
we video chat my wieners. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I think that should be on their profile prompts.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Something you should know about me is I'm going to
make off dating.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
You can leave a positive message and I wish you
could be something bad for other people that see this person.
You can put respectful, and you can put nice, and
but you can't put at his wiener out because then
people would lie. I get it, they might make up
something man interesting. And that's why are we dating the
same person that those those Facebook groups are a godsend?
(36:08):
Because I'm telling you right now, I've dodged so it's
probably a little fun. I've dodged some bullets just by going. Also,
I was having a little slumber party and Lacey told
my friend about it, and my friend had never heard
of it before. And turns out the guy she was
dating had a whole ass family. Yep. I said, give
(36:28):
me his information. I'll put him in this thing. And
I put him in. Maybe the next day we were
out at the store and he popped up. Yeah, And
this is why she really liked him. She really liked him. Bro.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
This is why sis, straight men should have to start
their lives in prison and work their way out. I
think they should have to their to freedom if they
want to walk around with the rest of us, because
why should you.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
My son's going to prison, but he gonna get out.
He's got a clause.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Why should you be free? Like as soon as we
give birth?
Speaker 4 (37:02):
To them straight to jail, and then around sixteen eighteen
and you start to get a good sense what kind
of character they have, you can be released.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Maybe maybe prisoners, just maybe all of them in jail. Look,
I say it every episode at this point, everyone should
be gay. Took me a while.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Yeah, it took me a while.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Nothing better than being here, nothing better.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
I wish that I was afforded the privilege when you
fortunately a little. I'm out here with the straits and
it's not a good time.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
It's not fun. No one's having terrible No one's having fun.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Everyone's judgy, like, everybody's so uptight and they're weird.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
I don't like it. It's terrible. The trade off is,
oh what, no, go ahead. The trade off is women
fall in love really really hard, really really fast, so
they have to spend a long time with a broken heart.
But I don't think that happens in a lot of
straight dating. Yeah, lesbian, I don't have a broken heart
in two dates.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
All my lesbian friends move in after the I have
one lesbian friend. She just became She just came out
as bisexual, like four five years ago. She's had like
ten girlfriends since she came out. I think she got
a divorce from her husband. She said, like ten girlfriends living's.
I'm like, wow, living and they do such beautiful things together.
(38:20):
They sit up the prgeous picnics. Inside I'm like, my god, Oh,
let's be fucking nice over there.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Nice, I got straight over here. You gotta give us
spin great ambergs. I just have no when I when
I go out sometimes I just have no tolerance for Well.
I tell my friends, we're not feeding the bears. Tonight.
I just want to sit with a girlfriend. Don't if
a man comes, I just don't. Not tonight. I just
want to chill because I can take a look in
(38:48):
his room. I don't want a body in this room.
And so I go, who's gonna be my wife? What
are y'all? Can they get mad? Not tonight? Not tonight? Tonight?
You with me? So I'll ruin, I'll rouw one my
girlfriend's Oh night, man, come over, this is my woman.
You're looking at her now. We're a couple of the
rest of the night. And I'm fine with that. I like,
I even buy you buy your drinks. I'm not not to.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I mean some would say that that is appropriation,
but it.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Is you know, sorry, and I just started just a
little fight justly.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
I like.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
What, she's the mean one.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Get over here, yeah, territorial.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Then someone's gonna come up to your girlfriend and be like, hey,
you deserve best. I like the way she's talking to you.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Everything okay at all?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
You know what though, that might be good for them.
I might be like, let's create some drama. Then he'll
come over and try to save you. Now we're working
on something, all right, Who knows? Really we have. Don't
go out with us, we don't go don't go out
with us because it will get crazy. Don't go out
with us, Oh my god. No. But we are loud.
(40:07):
That's it. I feel like we're very good. We're very good,
hang very fun, We're very great. Quite loud, loud only
in loud space.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
I'm an East Coaster, so like, what's the we have
to find what's the bassline?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Like, what is it? Only in loud space. So if
we're at karaoke, we're the loudest, We're the loud we're
the loudest. Well, but we cheer. We're the best cheer.
If someone gets up there and sings a song, you
are going to think you are a rock a rock star.
We will cheer our brain. Also, if I've ever seen
you sing a karaoke song, you're one of my closest friends.
(40:41):
I need to know.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Do you have a close friends on Instagram and how
many people are in it?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I don't because I want anyone to be discluded.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Everybody, all of you one that I follow.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I actually don't have a close friends either, but it's
only because I can text all of my close friends
the group chat and this is five of us.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
That's right, we're all family. Peo will be fine.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, yeah, there's none of that. I don't. Yeah, I
don't think that that's because you're putting it on the internet.
First friends, doesn't mean it's not on the internet. It's
definitely on the internet. Get out of here with that.
I think that's a little dangerous. Oh my god, I
know it's almost time to go. I have a question though,
on your podcast Relationship, which you stole, and I need
(41:27):
you to admit right now to the whole world that
you stole my name. We talked to Member when we
went out to brunch and I said I was going
to start this podcast called Relationship, and then you're like,
that's going two weeks later, I saw that it's a
relationship and I was like, can't we still want? No?
Just okay, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
I was about to say what first of all, what.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
You were thinking about it? Like? What? No? I love
that name because that's what this is. It's relationship. What
has been your favorite guest? What's been your favorite podcast?
What was been your favorite?
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Oh my god, I can't even name just one. I
the thing is juicy story.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
What do you have for God?
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I mean, there's there's a lot.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
There are so many incredible guests and topics that I'm
not just saying that I handpick everybody that comes on
the podcast. There's not a There's only been one time
that I was influenced to invite somebody on that I
was like, hm, and I hated the episode, and that
was my fault because I should have listened to myself,
but other people wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
But it was just a me thing.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Oh god. We get so many write ins from people.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
It's a relationship advice podcast, So people write in their
stories and spill their lives out to me, which I
do not take for granted for a second, because these
are people's personal lives. So people have written in about
having being a part of affairs and you know, having
children by people who they're not sure who the person is. Like,
(42:55):
there's been there have been so many instances of really
wild stories and it's a judgment free zone. You know,
we listen and we don't judge, but they are writing
in for my solicited advice and opinions, and so I
try to give all of my advice without any kind
of judgment. But like what I would tell my little
(43:18):
sister if if she was in this predicament, or my
best friend if they were in this predicament. God, I
can't even think of like one particular story or one
particular guest. I mean, we just had Nikita joy On,
who's incredible. People who are on TikTok know her. She
is a makeup artist and she's a trans woman and
she has had such an incredible journey and I just
(43:40):
love hearing her talking about like bridging the gap between
CIS and trans women and you know, through beauty and
through makeup and something that's so like should be so universal.
And then we have relationship experts and people that come
on the podcast and talk about, you know, how to
I don't know get past your past traumas and be
(44:02):
able to love differently, or you know, we have sex
therapists that come on and talk about moving past, you know,
how to be able to even have the orgasm in
the first place, and why you're not getting there, and
how maybe it really isn't that you don't like oral
sex as a female. Maybe it's just like you're not
getting it done the way that you want to get
done because you're not vocalizing what it is that you
actually want, and because the person that's performing it on
(44:25):
you is performing the same old thing that they've done
to every single person, which is not fit to everybody. Hello,
just because you did the ABCDFG method on your last
ten girlfriends and they all were just pretending to have
a great time swinging from the chandeliers, they were pretending.
We don't have to pretend anymore. This is twenty twenty five.
We can be honest about orgasms. So yeah, we talk
(44:49):
about like such a wide range of things, drama in
the workplace, all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
It's a fun time.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
It sounds great and I love it. Thank you. Hey everyone,
Today we will not have Sister Court because it was
replaced by actual sister Court where we got in one
another's business and we voiced our opinions and each of
us was more right than the last.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
This was the Imber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber show.
I need you to have fun with us by listening
to a Relationship with Cammy Crawford. It's a lot of
fun and she's a lot of fun, and this is true.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
This is the best friendship, best friend in the whole world.
I'll be there your wedding is that's the.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Whole world, Cammy, Where can you be found on social media?
Speaker 4 (45:40):
I'm at Cammy Crawford on literally everything, and then at
Relationship on everything else, and then Relationship Airs every single
Friday and we talk about all things relationships, the good,
the bad, and the straight up shitty.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yay, Lacy, where can you be found on socials?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Me?
Speaker 1 (45:58):
Okay, it's Lacy lamar one and Amber is going to
make fun of me? Yes, I see? Why is there
one after the lockdown of my isn't it just now?
It's laser mark one? But so now I'm starting a
podcast called Relationship one. Yes, now you'll know where to
find me since stolen? Okay, Amber, I'm probably at Amber Ruffin,
(46:23):
You guys, thanks so much for tuning in. We love
you and each of you is my best friend. Goodbye,
hye was so much. The Amber and Lacey Lacy and
(46:45):
Amber Show is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and hosted by Amber
Ruffin and Lacy Lamar, Executive produced by Noah Avoar and
Hans Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Because She's a
Superhero Produced by Victor Wright, edited and mixed by Ty Herd.
Music by David Schmoll.
Amberben Lacey. We always the lever. If you don't like
the show, we'll throw you in a river. Every lazy,
lazy an ambush coodn't splash that didn't like the show. Yeah, sorry, guys,
(00:23):
right now you thought we was a joker. We'll do
it now. Will you ever find me close enough to
a river to throw someone in it? No? No, but
the but the feeling is there, maybe the lazy fun,
maybe all fun, maybe like a lazy river. Depends is
my hair braided? Then maybe my hair is not braided. Guys,
(00:47):
A lot of variables that have to be happening for
us to be near a river. Yeah, sorry, guys, high
Lacey injury. Hi, what's going on? Thank you for asking.
I am going to have a giant summer party this weekend.
I usually do. You didn't call. Sorry, Sorry, it's only
because you live in another state. Now. I'm usually having
(01:07):
a giant somber party. I have a lot of them.
You do love good for me. It's fun. But this
one's going to be a little special because I got
my window seat reupholstered, and that's my life lately. Whoa
old people miss this? This woman got a window seat
(01:30):
a poster and you all I can think about she
won the lottery. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
You did when the window Seed lottery. If there was
one I did, it's beautiful. Oh my god. Okay, sorry
to push your window Seed story out of the way,
but we're gonna talk about You'll never believe what happened
to Lacey. Crazy Stories of Racism. That is our book.
(01:50):
First of all that Amber and I wrote the New
York Times bestseller this stuff always happens to me and Omaha, Nebraska,
and let me get my angry story out right now.
I do have permission for my child to tell this story.
My daughter was ill the other day and became dehydrated
because she kept throwing up. She had like a stomach bug,
and she went to emerging care. We've all been to
emerging care, and I know that it was a combination
(02:13):
of things. It was the color of her skin, and
it was how she was dressed. She was wearing a
pejs then little slippers, and she had a little little
blanket wrapped around her, and she was throwing up and
she was real shaky. And she goes in and my
guy takes a look at her and goes, what's happening,
what's going on? Like I've been throwing up. He said, well,
tell me what would you do today? She goes, I
haven't eaten anything, I haven't done anything. We would you
do yesterday? Oh? I did this. I went out with
(02:35):
my friends. Did you drink yet? A couple drinks with
my friends. He goes, you're going through alcoholic that was
his diagnosis. Now see, when you're black and you go
to the you go to the er, or you go
be in for some mess. And it was so funny.
I did not go with her. Her boyfriend went with her,
but in my head I was like, this could go
either way. I was clearly thinking. So then he goes,
I'm gonna have to send you to another hospital. There's
(02:56):
not gonna do. I gotta send you to the hospital.
So she goes to the hospital and she walks in
and the nurse takes one look at her and she
starts getting in it. So my daughter, she was very
rude from the start. And I meet her at the
hospital so I can watch all of this going. I
also she says to my daughter, do you have your ID?
Oh my god, no, I'm so sorry. I and My
daughter is the sweetest person on earth. She's apologiz well,
(03:18):
she's like shaking and all sickly. She goes, oh, no,
I'm sorry. We just ran out of the house. But
when I went to the emergent care, they have all
the information there. I'm in the system. It got transferred
to you. A lady goes, listen, you're an adult. You
never leave your house without and just starts going in
and in and in. So my daughter goes, mom, they're
being mean to me. And I jump up because I
hadn't said anything. And I saved the day because I
(03:40):
walk over and you would not believe the shirt that
I happened to have on. I didn't put this on.
I had that shirt on earlier in the day. I
didn't know if this was going to happen. It said
we will no longer negotiate with racists. So the woman
saw my shirt. I didn't know that. Yeah, had I
no longer negotiate with racist? Didn't you mean to put it?
(04:00):
So this old white woman was like, oh, and when
I tell you that tune changed in two seconds, she
was like, oh, yeah, yeah, okay, And I said, you
don't need her ID. It's already in the system. They
didn't need it over there. The man said it was fine,
and she goes, you're right, you're right, you're right, we
don't need it. It's in here like it's like I
was like doing the Jedi mind trick telling her, and
she was repeating it, you're right, you're right, you're right,
we're fine, we're fine, we don't need it. I'm fine,
(04:21):
I'm fine. So she puts her in the system. We
go back. Then humiliation begins because now you're in the
system and the explanation is you're going through alcoholic drawls,
which is not the correct, you know, diagnosis. So the nurse,
I'm not blaming the nurse. She's reading the chart that
was sent over and she goes, okay, so how many
drinks are you drinking a day? Baby, and he's like,
(04:42):
drink And of course the lady's like, yeah, little alcoholic,
we know you're drinking every day. And I just was like,
she's not, she's not. So then we finally get back
to a real doctor and that doctor comes and that
woman goes before I can say, I go listen, the
diagnosis is wrong. I'm so sorry your daughter is not
(05:03):
going through our college rows. We know. She goes, I know,
I know, I know. I am very sorry. She said,
this is a little overzealous. And I think she said, baby,
over zealous child. He's a brand new doctor. And she goes,
he will be getting a training on diagnosing people and
what he needs to do. And I said, thank you
for saying that, And that was my evening. Everyone, Yeah,
(05:24):
in black going to the ear. You don't know what
you're gonna get. You don't know what you're gonna get
diagnosed with. Every time my doctor gives me serious medication,
I keep it and I save it and I don't
use it for whatever they gave it to me for,
because I think, well, this doctor believes that I'm in
believes you. The next doctor won't. So I have to
keep this medication because they're gonna think I'm drug sinking
(05:48):
everyone that is not black. Are you listening to this.
This is a thing that we do. We keep our
pain medication because we know going in if we are
in pain, they're going to first think that you you
are seeking paying drugs. You're seeking drugs, you're drug seeking
what is it? That's right? Yeah? Yeah, so you know
we want you hold on to hold on to that
(06:10):
and think about it every time someone treats you right.
All right, Hey, everybody, this is the Amber and Lacey,
Lacy and Amber Show. Today's guest is Kimmy Crawford. She's
h you know, from Catfish from Are You the One?
She's the host of the podcast Relationship with Jimmy Crawford.
So you're going to stay tuned and we love you
(06:34):
and you're gonna love Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the second act of Boom Chicago. Sorry,
that's what I always think whenever we come back. Welcome
back to the second part of The Lazy, Lacy and
Amber Show. Okay, listen up. You heard about her before
we went to commercial, and we made good on our promise. Folks,
we've kidnapped Cammy Crawford and fucking gone through her wardrobe.
(07:15):
We do.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Is it a kidnapping? If I came willingly, okay, great.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Because there is food. If we can't nap, great, You're
gonna be fed.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
That's all I care about.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Feed me, make sure I have good snacks, make sure
I have access to Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And that's really all I need.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
We should be kidnapping more people, and I don't mean
that like everyone. But I do mean that, lady, and
I should be kidnapping more people.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Oh no, I have a few already in mind for listen.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You've had me say it before, I'll say it again.
Cammy Crawford is a TV host. You remember her from
fucking Catfish? My God, what job, dude? Damn? And then
paramount pluses? Are you the one? Uh? You've seen her
on the cover of Sports Illustrated, But what we know
(08:04):
her from is her podcast relationship with Cammy Crawford is
Cammy Crafer. Dude, you'd have been through it. Yeah, you've
seen it, buddy.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Been there and done that, got my T shirt a
few times.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, No, that's right. You must have like the strongest
stomach of all time. I swear to you. If someone
gets like a little too close to like saying something embarrassing,
I'm on the floor. I can't live. Yeah, your stomach
for that must be just infinite.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I actually think that it's the opposite, because I, over
the past two years, have suffered with tremendous gut health issues,
and now that you like mentioned it, I'm like, oh, yeah,
I might be entitled to conversation somewhere.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, you should have gotten to uh, the therapist instead
of the gut doctor.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I did, I actually did both.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
But honestly, the crazy part is my therapist and I
we never really I can't remember one instance where we
ever talked about a catfish scenario because it's like, I
have more important things to talk about, like my mental health,
my own personal mental health. But also I don't think
she would believe me. Like half the things that I
would have to tell her, I don't think she would
(09:22):
even believe me.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, I know, dude. What are all of your
feelings today?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Ooh oh, I love this question? Wow A few? I
have a few. I am on the precipice of my
luteal face. So I am in a very ticking time
bomb type of mood. You know, I'm very close to
a mental breakdown at any point today. If my boyfriend
(09:53):
even breathes on me in the wrong direction. Other than that,
I feel great, incredible. No, it's definitely I know when
it's coming. When like anything that he says, I'm.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like, I don't count, I don't get right, I am,
but he's so amazing. So it's really it is my fault.
It's my personal problem.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
But he has to do. I know that I'm hurling
towards a mental breakdown when I open up my my
calendar and then I start canceling things one by one.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't think I'm going to be able to love
to cancel and.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Love if you text me.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, when someone texts you and they're like, oh, I
can't make it, I'm so sorry, Like, do you mind?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I do not mind? Please cancel, ye, please mind.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm on my couch. I'm watching Netflix now, the three
of us. I would like to stress that this does
not apply to professional events.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
No, of course not.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Okay, we're just talking about friends. I will cancel on
my friends. They know they're fine, Yes, they're good. I'm
just no, my friend, you all they know what did
we I think I was just talking to someone who
was like someone was whining about you're always canceling on me.
We can't be friends. I would never be able to
(11:14):
hold a friend my friends. No, I will make I'm
not the same person I was at eleven am when
I said, guys, let's go out tonight. No, they know, no,
there's a ninety percent that's not I'm gonna be like guys,
it's five o'clock. I'm sitting, That's what I'm sitting.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I'm a big advocate for low maintenance friendships. And I've
said this on the internet before and got some flak
from it because people were like, that's unfair, like you're
looking for friends who don't need anything from them. Like, yeah, actually,
my friends understand. We all understand that we all have lives.
There is not a friend that I have close to me.
(11:51):
This is why I've kept the same friends since the
third grade and since I new friends, no new friends,
because unless you are a friend who is under standing
of the fact that sometimes you just can't.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Sometimes you just can't.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
And like, if I have a friend that I requires
me to check in on them on a daily basis, girl,
I'm trying to check it on myself on a weekly basis.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I feel like those friends I have them already, Like
all those positions have been filled. Thank you so much
for your application. Yes, the friends I'm talking about are like, hey,
did you see that this movie is coming out? Or
I found a place we can yell and not get
thrown out. That's what I'm after, Like, I don't want
(12:33):
to sit and pick your brain about my professional options.
No them, positions have been filled. I met a lady Munson.
I thought this was this is gonna be my cool
new friend. She's great, and I said, let's do lunchome
you know, And I told her I love to go
to this one place with my friends. We go there
all the time. I'll invite you. I invited her. She
showed up. I was with my friends and she sat
(12:55):
in silence the whole time. And then afterwards she sent
me a text. I was just really disappointed that you
invited all your friends and I really didn't get a
chance to talk.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Babe.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Okay, no, it sounds like you're looking for a date.
It sounds like you're looking.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
For a date.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Listen, I'm not that person for you. I'm not exactly
you could have jumped in any I have jumped in before.
Questions yourself not if you.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Are looking for a significant other, you know you might
have to look elsewhere. But I have had these conversations
with friends, and I am my My longtime friends will
tell you I am notorious for dumping a friend. Once
a year, I tried to jump at least one person.
(13:42):
In my language, key and lazy, the same person.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You're the same person don't get on my bask I
don't say nothing crazy to me, don't try to make
me do the work. We are not in group therapy.
You think therapy. We're not in group therapy at all.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
What are what are our signs?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Or I'm the Pisces cappy corn. But if you also
just get really disrespectful and do something low down, crazy, bizarre,
I'm out. I don't have time to work through that
on why you did. I'm not going to ask you
why because you know what you were there. You know
what you did like we don't want to do. You
were there, and I'm out. I will not try to
(14:17):
argue with you, try to work through why you did.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Out Now we're good as a Scorpio and a fellow
water sign.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I understand.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
We don't have to ever talk about it ever. Actually
I've actually dumbed friends where we've never had a conversation
about it, and we never will.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I never, I never have a conversation. And my friends know.
All of my friends know this. If I stop talking
to you, don't come looking for me, because it's done it.
That's it now. I will say this is where we
part ways because every friend I make I'm like I
love them. I love them forever. I just don't expect
anything from people. No, Like, if I had a friend
(14:53):
and they didn't call me back, I'd be like, Okay,
then there, I'm still going to invite them when it's
time to party. Yeah. But if I a friend and
they show me their whole ass and I'm like, well,
now you can't come to parties because if I introduce
you to my little friends and you do them the
way you did me, nah, I'm the asshole. So now
you can't be around. But that list is so fucking short.
(15:13):
I think that might be because I'm the wild one.
I mean, how come I have so many new friends
at such a fast pace and I'm never like so
and so is bad.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
It's maybe am because you can't capricorns. I don't feel
like capricorns play that.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh I have a disorder where I automatically if I
meet a person and talk to them, I love them
and they love me. You can convince me otherwise.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Oh, you have Libra in your chart somewhere.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Sometimes Amber that person was not and she'd be like, what,
I'm like, didn't you see them doing say this, this
and this? And she'd be like like my gerald. He
didn't need it. I can see that I love it.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
But that's beautiful. That's beautiful.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
That's how you make friends. I, on the other hand,
not that I'm against making friends. I love people, but
there are a lot of people who think that they
are my friends that if I were, if I got
put in prison and I needed bail money, I would not.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Call them because I don't even know your phone number. Now,
you wouldn't even come top of mine.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's me, that's me for everyone I've ever met. Listen,
if you know me, if you've met me for one second,
I already love you. I think we're best friends. And
every once in a while, and this is true, I
pick up my phone and I look for your number
because I want to text you, but I don't have
it because we're not friends with them call.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
But that's cute, that's really sweet.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
We can meet and even hang out three or four times,
I won't remember you. And two if it's been two months,
I don't know who you are, and people will think,
oh my god, she's so stuck upsett. I don't remember you.
I make a post. Look I'm old. I only have
Facebook that I use. I'll make a post maybe every
three months. I don't know who you are, Like I
just just to cover because I'll hear some one talking
(17:00):
behind my back. I saw her in the grocery store, sheep.
I'll know you. I hung out maybe a couple of times.
I don't remember my eyes. I'm old. I don't remember
who you are. I don't even know your first name.
I know your face maybe if you have the same
outfit on in that song is playing. Otherwise, that's not
a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all.
I just don't remember who you are. Not out of hate.
(17:22):
But sit there and explain it to me in debt,
and I'll be like, oh, okay, okay, yeah, I do remember.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
That's all right. Yeah that's time.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I have not a stuck up bone in my body.
But I don't remember anything.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I don't remember you, and you know what, and that's okay.
There are way too many other things going on in
this world to truly people cannot possibly think that they
are of the utmost importance. I have a list of
important things in my day. Remembering to text you, the
friend that I've known for two months, to ask you
(17:52):
how your bunyan removal went.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I don't remember. I don't know, and they will go.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
I told you about the Bunyan removal for two hours brunch.
I don't remember, but I loved it. I don't remember.
I don't remember that. Cor I well, but oh, I
have a story for you guys. So I was out
at this event and I saw I told Amber this.
I saw a really really gorgeous guy and he came
up to me and he's like hey, and I was
(18:18):
like hey, and he was like, you don't remember me,
do you? And I was like nope, and he was like,
I saw you two years ago. You were wearing a
green dress and drinking blah blah blah. And then I
asked you what was going on? And then one of
your friends jumped in between us and told you that
I was married. So you looked at me and said
leave me alone. And I was like, wow, it's like me.
(18:40):
But he wasn't. She was trying to just like not
have me talk to him. Could have been with this
man for two years. He's gorgeous. Amber. Do you remember
the story that I told you about Amber's old You
don't remember, but anyway, Yeah, that was something happened. We're
still chit chatting mind your business. So we've been a
couple of weeks. Sir, if you're listening to this podcast,
(19:01):
I'll talk to you later.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Who was this woman.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
One of my look, one of my friends. I'll talk
to you no more.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
There we go, there we go.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
That is one of my friends that I'll talk to
you no more. So it was, you know, a jealousy thing.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
And and I love that you figured it out before this,
so it wasn't like this was news to you that
she needed to be on the albums.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
But I wholeheartedly, I wholeheartedly believed her. So I was like,
so yeah, and he said you were like, sir, no,
sir no. And I was like, yep, that was me.
I said, well, my crazy self.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
The way that I think about it is at least
he knows in the future, if you do end up
getting married, how you'll curve every man that comes up
to you joke around. He knows that you stand on business.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
He saw the rest of the night, he saw me
being extra mean to everyone. That's just what I do.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
He was like, I like that.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I like, he said, you don't joke around. I said, no,
I do not.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
No, why didn't I speak for himself in that moment.
Why didn't he say something.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Listen, you trying to talk to me and I cut
you off. No one keeps talking to me, Ambernos, no
one keeps talking. You'd have to be so brave. No
one keeps talking.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And what do you want to be here after that?
What is there?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Like?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
No, I'm not married. You're gonna be like, okay, sure
my homegirls.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Say you're married. You're married, you've been married for years. Wow, haters.
There are a lot, you know, And that's the thing
you really don't know. It took a lot of life
and growing up for me to realize that you can't
have friends who are jealous of you, who want to
be you. There is just no Because I grew up
(20:41):
with a mother who everyone was jealous of me. If
you ask her like, she was like, oh, they're jealous.
They're jealous, and it gives you like kind of this
of course, like you know, she raised me to be humble,
but she also raised me to be able to spot
a jealous person in my midst and I would always
think she was exaggerating. But then again, those friendships never
(21:02):
ended up working out because the person ended up doing
something weird like that I had a best friend quote
unquote at one point who sat on my boyfriend's lap
in front of my whole family and there were empty seats,
and my grandma had to check her because I was
so in shock. She was like, get up and go
(21:24):
find a chair. And I truly was like, you, I could.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
See you doing that in some dark club where you
did that in front of somebody's whole family, in front
of grandma.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Sitting around the island table on the high boy chair. Yeah,
what was it was very bizarre?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Black last checond black No.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
No.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Then I wouldn't have even if that was the case,
I wouldn't even told the story because we all would
have known that that was to be expected.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I didn't know everything. Everyone in front of black Grandma
coul See. Your mom could have been from Germany. I
don't know what your no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
My mom's family's from Jamaica might but this was my
dad's mom from Detroit.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
She was a Detroit of those games. She was not
playing those games.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, so you know, and then after that, you know,
everyone in my family referenced her as the friend that
I used to have the set of my boyfriend's lab.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So that was my fault, I'm the problem anything like that.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I mean, could you see it? Well, she was definitely
a hater. She was definitely a hater, and she definitely
tried to like belittle me and little ways and like
say little things, and I just kind of would like
shrug them off. I didn't really internalize them, and but
it progressively got worse, and then I had to.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had to.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
I ended up dropping her as a friend over something
that was so much smaller than that. But it was
like that one thing over the edge.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
And that in high school.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
So I had to keep keep track and keep an
eye keep an eye out for Celeina everywhere I went.
After that, it was like everybody is people you just
never know, and then when you meet those genuine real friends,
you realize why you don't have space for those other
people in your life.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, there's no way. I gotta be honest, I'm
still friends with that girl.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It was like on our life, we.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
All lap up.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Now, what's a game we play? Musical chair?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
That's why. That's why. Because I was like, who's coming on,
That's not what we do.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
That is why.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
That is Jesus, And now she's fine. She used to
be she used to be a lapsitter for su.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
See, and this is what there's you have.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Those people, they exist, they walk among us. You cannot
be that's all like the whole like girls girl thing,
like I am a girl's girl, but other girls girls
don't girls girl the way that I girls girl say that.
I had to realize that I am the oldest of
six girls. I am the ultimate girls girl. You are,
(24:12):
so I know how this.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Is supposed to work.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
And I treat any woman who is in my life
even if you're not a close friend of mine, because
here's the thing, everybody's not my friend. But I will
fight for literally anybody who is in my in my
circle around me. If you are a friend adjacent to
somebody and we are out and somebody tries to play
with you, but I'm not calling you when I go
(24:36):
to jail after the fact, My sisters, other people, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Other people aren't necessarily like that. Like there, it's really sad.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
There's this I say quote, but it was a tweet
that somebody said about like I'm something about like I'm
not a girl's girl.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Some of you are really stupid, and it's like, yeah, yes,
it is true.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
It's true. Like I don't know what she said. She said,
I don't support all women. Some of you bitches are dumb.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And it is. It is.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
I think Unfortunately, I didn't think I retweeted it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
It is.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
It is an unfortunate fact that there And but you
know what, it goes back to the patriarchy of misogyny.
It is a sad fact that so many women have
internalized misogynistic and patriarchal ideals that they then perpetuate amongst women.
We should be able to, you know, be around each
(25:40):
other without you sitting on my man's lap.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I think internalized mistogyny is so we haven't even started
to talk about it. We don't even get the full,
the full breadth of it because it is so prevalent.
And you say that, and I'm like, yeah, internalized misogyny,
But I can't remember anyone ever talking about or like
(26:02):
really hearing the phrase internalized misogyny. The lord. And also,
these next four years aren't going to be the time
when we find.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Out we just need to be working on finding ourselves.
For the next four years, we're just going to start building.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, exactly, you find yourself, find a hiding place, phone
a friend. Hey everyone, when we get back, we are
going to slide into Lacey's DMS in a segment called
Please Slide Out of Lacey's d MS. This is the
Ember and Lacy, Lacy and Amber shar guest is Kimmy Crawford.
Everyone freak out. Hey, hey everyone, we're back. Thank you
(26:50):
for freaking out. This is the Emperor and Lacy, Lacy
and Amber show. You're never gonna believe. What the fuck
Kimmy Crawford? Did I say, Kimmy Crawford? No, I think
you so good.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I wouldn't like Kimmy, I think.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
But then as I as I looked at your name
this time, I was like, oh, Kimmy Crawford, that's my friend.
Then I was like, oh my god, did I switch
the two names once again? Kimmy Crawford hasn't thought about me?
Four grade lapout. She's not she's not thinking about me.
(27:27):
But Kimmy, I love you. It was Kissy. Oh great, everyone,
I'm glad we all had to go through that together.
Here's a segment on the Emperor and Lacey, Lacy and
amberscho Please Slide Out of Lacey's DMS is where Lacey
reads real d ms that people have sent her. It's
gross and I hate it. Let's get it started. Okay,
(27:48):
this first one. I have been waiting to do this,
and I want every woman who is out here to
just put this in your arsenal of responses because I
was like, I can't not take credit for this. I
read it on my Are we still dating? Or are
we dating the same person? I'm on every state or
(28:08):
are we dating the same person? Group? Because I meet
people from all over I meet you, I'm gonna put
you in that group, and you know i'ma meet your wife.
You're gonna pop up. So anyway, so I saw this
in one of those groups maybe four months ago, and
I said, oh, this is gonna happen me. And here
it is. I miss you. That's a text I get
from this guy who I haven't heard from in like
six months, and I said, oh my god, I can't
(28:30):
talk right now. I'm at a funeral. Can't talking. I'm
at a funeral. It's just really crazy right now. Oh
I'm so sorry. He's like, and he goes, who passed away?
And I said, my feelings for you six months ago.
He fell for it for I got time for this
six monks quiet, I sent you the last text. What's
going on? You'd so keep your personal ladies, it's gonna happen.
(28:56):
This man is going to text you I miss you,
or he's gonna text you where you at. He's gonna
just hold on to that. It's free to use. Everybody's
using it. Yeah, you got to sound like you're in
a bad place too. It's terrible, lazys.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
They're not going well.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
No, that he deserved that, because where have you been?
Why do you and why do you miss me? And
that's the thing, why do you miss me? You don't
have to miss me. You have my information. Yeah, at
any choice, you could contact me. Why am I being missed?
That's strange, that sees I don't let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I'll be reading that one again because that one's never
gonna go away. That one is never going away.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
No, that's okay. I love that.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Second one I have is Hey would love for you
to show I'm in Alma, Nebraska. Hey would love for
you to show me around O Maha. Just moved here
a couple of weeks ago, and I said, hey, Jay,
I went to elementary school, junior high, in high school
with you. I'll tell your wife spoke full It's Omaha.
(30:01):
There's three people here. Andy, I said your name. Please
if you if this becomes the clip, this man you'll recognize.
My god, my life have changed. We went to school together.
Oh my god, that's great. Did he respect your mind?
And it's still open? He could still respond to me.
(30:22):
Am I going to talk to his wife? Absolutely not, sir.
You need to be on a site in another state,
not in the same town of Omaha, Nebraska, where I
could probably yell your name out the front door and
you could hear me. Stop it. It's too small. Can't be.
You cannot be a player here.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
I love having the power and the looming threat of
contacting someone's wife or employer. I use both of them regularly.
I'll be like, I'm sure you your wife would love
to hear about this. The amount of DMS that I've
gotten from men who will be like, you're the most
gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
And then I'll look at their profile picture and it's
them with.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Their wife Mary ring on every thing.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
You need to give this energy to her. I do
not want this energy from you. Get out of here.
You're disgusting. You scraam. Go call your wife and tell
her that you love her before I send this to her.
Let her know what you really think. I'm not gonna
send it, but like you know, there should always be
the looming threat. That's what a girl's girl would do.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Mm hmm, that's a real girl's girl.
I have to say my d ms are not used
for this, used for They used for like you should
you should obey trumph like. There's that, and then there's
like people will send me like information about El DeBarge
(31:43):
so publicly love him. Yeah, we love him so bad.
That's how that's my boyfriend. That's sorry. As Lacey's boyfriend,
I'm just a fan.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Would sit on his lap I given the chance, and
they have.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah my dms, no one has ever confessed their Although
I'm not in my I DMS, I don't really want
to know what's going on in this.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
You have to check the hidden folder so you can
see the amount of people sending you messages. Most of
my dms are from people from foreign countries who say
your engagement is dangerously low. Pay US fifty thousand dollars
and we can help you get to two million followers
and subscribers, and we have an air mez factory in
Japan and I get those.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah, so I get those A scam. Yeah they're fun though,
it's fun. I'm a little man, Yeah, a little scam.
I do think we should be scamming more people. And
I mean that, oh, I think that every once in
a while. Every time I see a scam, I go,
why not me? Why couldn't I be doing? You want
(32:47):
to make a quick million dollars? And I'll tell you why,
because instantly I'd be like, I'm so sorry, I can't
believe it. This is my address, this is my name.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Now would it lasts very long?
Speaker 1 (33:00):
The worst ever? Be funny? For that you're gonna say, oh,
this is a scam, and then you're gonna you're gonna
be a stamp.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
But you know what, Unfortunately, in my line of work,
there will be people who will buy in anyway.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
They'll be like, oh, I believe in you.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Here's twenty thousand scam. You're cute. Damn, let's try. Okay,
I like the skim you please, Okay, I have one more?
And it's really grow Okay, this is the norm out here.
I was talking to a guy for a couple of weeks,
Honey asked a video chat. You seemed super sweet, super cute,
and I agree to The video chat came up sitting
(33:36):
in a chair naked. And this happens though, but I
always this was on me. I always say you need
to have your clothes on if we're going to do
a chat, because someone will just pull their dick out. Whatever.
So he was sitting at the chair naked all the
time video chat. They're never addressed. Yes I do, but
I'm gonna stop doing that now because I want to
catch you being terrible and I'm never going to tell
(33:58):
anyone to have their clothes on. Just just let let's
end this right away. But I said, well, hi, I'm
a police officer and I'm gonna report, and he slammed
it shut.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
I love that, Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Like FBI, Yeah, the Federal Boner Investigators.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yeah, you don't have to specify.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I would get a little badge and then just I
should say, and then if they're not naked, then you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Can like take it down. But then if they are naked,
you could show it or.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
You should make your things, say Officer Lacey Lamar. Yeah,
and then you can you guys see this is look,
this is girls, girls, this is.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Girlhood.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Should I just have a had on and the beautiful Yeah,
we'll be like, oh she's gonna strip. Yeah, they might
think too gross. I know, standing there with the real
police officer. Boy, he's just okay, he's fine, stressed, Okay,
carry on, you can go. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Where do they get off?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Like? And we know how they know? I need you
to be that gross during the two weeks that we talk.
Why couldn't you have just been that gross on the phone.
I don't do anything. I don't know. Wow, I'm just
really quiet. Guy. That's always the sign right there. You
can't be that shut it. You're not a shut mass
for shutting that at the high people should be like, Hi,
(35:25):
fart some thinks it's funny. Cries a little too much.
That should be that should that should be how I
legally have to say hi to someone I want to date. Hi. Yeah,
we video chat my wieners. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I think that should be on their profile prompts.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Something you should know about me is I'm going to
make off dating.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
You can leave a positive message and I wish you
could be something bad for other people that see this person.
You can put respectful, and you can put nice, and
but you can't put at his wiener out because then
people would lie. I get it, they might make up
something man interesting. And that's why are we dating the
same person that those those Facebook groups are a godsend?
(36:08):
Because I'm telling you right now, I've dodged so it's
probably a little fun. I've dodged some bullets just by going. Also,
I was having a little slumber party and Lacey told
my friend about it, and my friend had never heard
of it before. And turns out the guy she was
dating had a whole ass family. Yep. I said, give
(36:28):
me his information. I'll put him in this thing. And
I put him in. Maybe the next day we were
out at the store and he popped up. Yeah, And
this is why she really liked him. She really liked him. Bro.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
This is why sis, straight men should have to start
their lives in prison and work their way out. I
think they should have to their to freedom if they
want to walk around with the rest of us, because
why should you.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
My son's going to prison, but he gonna get out.
He's got a clause.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Why should you be free? Like as soon as we
give birth?
Speaker 4 (37:02):
To them straight to jail, and then around sixteen eighteen
and you start to get a good sense what kind
of character they have, you can be released.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Maybe maybe prisoners, just maybe all of them in jail. Look,
I say it every episode at this point, everyone should
be gay. Took me a while.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Yeah, it took me a while.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Nothing better than being here, nothing better.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
I wish that I was afforded the privilege when you
fortunately a little. I'm out here with the straits and
it's not a good time.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
It's not fun. No one's having terrible No one's having fun.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Everyone's judgy, like, everybody's so uptight and they're weird.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
I don't like it. It's terrible. The trade off is,
oh what, no, go ahead. The trade off is women
fall in love really really hard, really really fast, so
they have to spend a long time with a broken heart.
But I don't think that happens in a lot of
straight dating. Yeah, lesbian, I don't have a broken heart
in two dates.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
All my lesbian friends move in after the I have
one lesbian friend. She just became She just came out
as bisexual, like four five years ago. She's had like
ten girlfriends since she came out. I think she got
a divorce from her husband. She said, like ten girlfriends living's.
I'm like, wow, living and they do such beautiful things together.
(38:20):
They sit up the prgeous picnics. Inside I'm like, my god, Oh,
let's be fucking nice over there.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Nice, I got straight over here. You gotta give us
spin great ambergs. I just have no when I when
I go out sometimes I just have no tolerance for Well.
I tell my friends, we're not feeding the bears. Tonight.
I just want to sit with a girlfriend. Don't if
a man comes, I just don't. Not tonight. I just
want to chill because I can take a look in
(38:48):
his room. I don't want a body in this room.
And so I go, who's gonna be my wife? What
are y'all? Can they get mad? Not tonight? Not tonight? Tonight?
You with me? So I'll ruin, I'll rouw one my
girlfriend's Oh night, man, come over, this is my woman.
You're looking at her now. We're a couple of the
rest of the night. And I'm fine with that. I like,
I even buy you buy your drinks. I'm not not to.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I mean some would say that that is appropriation,
but it.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Is you know, sorry, and I just started just a
little fight justly.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
I like.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
What, she's the mean one.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Get over here, yeah, territorial.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Then someone's gonna come up to your girlfriend and be like, hey,
you deserve best. I like the way she's talking to you.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Everything okay at all?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
You know what though, that might be good for them.
I might be like, let's create some drama. Then he'll
come over and try to save you. Now we're working
on something, all right, Who knows? Really we have. Don't
go out with us, we don't go don't go out
with us because it will get crazy. Don't go out
with us, Oh my god. No. But we are loud.
(40:07):
That's it. I feel like we're very good. We're very good,
hang very fun, We're very great. Quite loud, loud only
in loud space.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
I'm an East Coaster, so like, what's the we have
to find what's the bassline?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Like, what is it? Only in loud space. So if
we're at karaoke, we're the loudest, We're the loud we're
the loudest. Well, but we cheer. We're the best cheer.
If someone gets up there and sings a song, you
are going to think you are a rock a rock star.
We will cheer our brain. Also, if I've ever seen
you sing a karaoke song, you're one of my closest friends.
(40:41):
I need to know.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Do you have a close friends on Instagram and how
many people are in it?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I don't because I want anyone to be discluded.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Everybody, all of you one that I follow.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I actually don't have a close friends either, but it's
only because I can text all of my close friends
the group chat and this is five of us.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
That's right, we're all family. Peo will be fine.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, yeah, there's none of that. I don't. Yeah, I
don't think that that's because you're putting it on the internet.
First friends, doesn't mean it's not on the internet. It's
definitely on the internet. Get out of here with that.
I think that's a little dangerous. Oh my god, I
know it's almost time to go. I have a question though,
on your podcast Relationship, which you stole, and I need
(41:27):
you to admit right now to the whole world that
you stole my name. We talked to Member when we
went out to brunch and I said I was going
to start this podcast called Relationship, and then you're like,
that's going two weeks later, I saw that it's a
relationship and I was like, can't we still want? No?
Just okay, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
I was about to say what first of all, what.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
You were thinking about it? Like? What? No? I love
that name because that's what this is. It's relationship. What
has been your favorite guest? What's been your favorite podcast?
What was been your favorite?
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Oh my god, I can't even name just one. I
the thing is juicy story.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
What do you have for God?
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I mean, there's there's a lot.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
There are so many incredible guests and topics that I'm
not just saying that I handpick everybody that comes on
the podcast. There's not a There's only been one time
that I was influenced to invite somebody on that I
was like, hm, and I hated the episode, and that
was my fault because I should have listened to myself,
but other people wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
But it was just a me thing.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Oh god. We get so many write ins from people.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
It's a relationship advice podcast, So people write in their
stories and spill their lives out to me, which I
do not take for granted for a second, because these
are people's personal lives. So people have written in about
having being a part of affairs and you know, having
children by people who they're not sure who the person is. Like,
(42:55):
there's been there have been so many instances of really
wild stories and it's a judgment free zone. You know,
we listen and we don't judge, but they are writing
in for my solicited advice and opinions, and so I
try to give all of my advice without any kind
of judgment. But like what I would tell my little
(43:18):
sister if if she was in this predicament, or my
best friend if they were in this predicament. God, I
can't even think of like one particular story or one
particular guest. I mean, we just had Nikita joy On,
who's incredible. People who are on TikTok know her. She
is a makeup artist and she's a trans woman and
she has had such an incredible journey and I just
(43:40):
love hearing her talking about like bridging the gap between
CIS and trans women and you know, through beauty and
through makeup and something that's so like should be so universal.
And then we have relationship experts and people that come
on the podcast and talk about, you know, how to
I don't know get past your past traumas and be
(44:02):
able to love differently, or you know, we have sex
therapists that come on and talk about moving past, you know,
how to be able to even have the orgasm in
the first place, and why you're not getting there, and
how maybe it really isn't that you don't like oral
sex as a female. Maybe it's just like you're not
getting it done the way that you want to get
done because you're not vocalizing what it is that you
actually want, and because the person that's performing it on
(44:25):
you is performing the same old thing that they've done
to every single person, which is not fit to everybody. Hello,
just because you did the ABCDFG method on your last
ten girlfriends and they all were just pretending to have
a great time swinging from the chandeliers, they were pretending.
We don't have to pretend anymore. This is twenty twenty five.
We can be honest about orgasms. So yeah, we talk
(44:49):
about like such a wide range of things, drama in
the workplace, all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
It's a fun time.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
It sounds great and I love it. Thank you. Hey everyone,
Today we will not have Sister Court because it was
replaced by actual sister Court where we got in one
another's business and we voiced our opinions and each of
us was more right than the last.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
This was the Imber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber show.
I need you to have fun with us by listening
to a Relationship with Cammy Crawford. It's a lot of
fun and she's a lot of fun, and this is true.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
This is the best friendship, best friend in the whole world.
I'll be there your wedding is that's the.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Whole world, Cammy, Where can you be found on social media?
Speaker 4 (45:40):
I'm at Cammy Crawford on literally everything, and then at
Relationship on everything else, and then Relationship Airs every single
Friday and we talk about all things relationships, the good,
the bad, and the straight up shitty.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yay, Lacy, where can you be found on socials?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Me?
Speaker 1 (45:58):
Okay, it's Lacy lamar one and Amber is going to
make fun of me? Yes, I see? Why is there
one after the lockdown of my isn't it just now?
It's laser mark one? But so now I'm starting a
podcast called Relationship one. Yes, now you'll know where to
find me since stolen? Okay, Amber, I'm probably at Amber Ruffin,
(46:23):
You guys, thanks so much for tuning in. We love
you and each of you is my best friend. Goodbye,
hye was so much. The Amber and Lacey Lacy and
(46:45):
Amber Show is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeartRadio podcast. It's created and hosted by Amber
Ruffin and Lacy Lamar, Executive produced by Noah Avoar and
Hans Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Because She's a
Superhero Produced by Victor Wright, edited and mixed by Ty Herd.
Music by David Schmoll.
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