February 5, 2025 • 56 mins
In this episode of The Amber & Lacey, Lacey & Amber Show, the ladies do their absolute best to keep things light but they eventually talk about the news. Later, the ladies tackle some of your questions in Sister Court and then talk about what they would eat at a Super Bowl party!
Want advice answered on the show? Write to Amber&Lacey: AmberAndLaceyAdvice@gmail.com
Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free: https://apple.co/amberandlacey.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I show us full of yays, never ever boos. Today
we're going to happen and not talk about the news.
It's the ever lesser lessen Bush. I really like the
loan note at the end. The loan note is the best,
It makes up, the most funnest it is. It is.
(00:22):
It was beautiful Lacy Mildred Rum, what is whoppering my dude? Okay,
so first I am an Omaha, Nebraska. Gross. Oh, I
shouldn't say you hurt your own family. We're all here
in Omaha. Listen, even though we're not going to talk
(00:45):
about the news. Yeah, these people are repping hard for
Trump over here. I'm just letting your room. Yeah, they're
going hard. Yeah, I'm making my own underground railroad. I'm
just digging headed north, going up yonder. Oh, I'm going
up beyond oh. Yeah. So just getting ready them. Every
(01:11):
day the jokes are becoming more real, and it's a
little less silly. It's a little less silly because we're
pretty you know, like like saying we're terrible. We're terrible.
We like to talk we're terrible. Things that could possibly happen,
likely through singing a Negro spiritual but uh, it's getting
(01:35):
too close for comfort. Now, when you say the Repinhart
for Trump, what do you mean. I just mean I'm
seeing more signs, more flags. Listen, I And if you're
in the South, I'm sorry. But the one thing my
main thing I hate about visiting the South is Confederate flags.
And I always like, oh, that gun. You couldn't do
(01:57):
that in Omaha, like somebody would come and write that down.
Can't man these Trump flags? And to me, the Trump
flag is the Confederate flag. If anybody wants to fight me,
meet me at the Planet this parking lot, because I
will fight you over that. It's the Confederate flag. To me,
that's our Confederate flag. Nebraska's Confederate flag is the Trump
And you just see it's just too much. It's just
(02:20):
too much on people's cars. I just can't stand it less.
But you see more. What what are you talking about? Well,
I mean since he enacted all those well not enacted,
but since he Yeah, Amber, I wrote a book. You'll
(02:40):
never believe what happened to Lacey. Crazy stories of racism.
So no, I am not surprised. Okay, okay, Lacy, I'm
an eternal optimist. I can't hope it. You are you
so are How are we related? How are we relating? Yeah? Yeah,
because you're like, oh, in fact, it did that happened? Yes,
(03:01):
it did, Okay, it happened. I have to say this.
When he won the first time, I was like, he's
not winning and I went to bed. I got woken
up and they were like, I think he's gonna win.
I was like, shut up, I'm going to sleep. And
then I woke up and he had one and don't
you know, the very same thing, the very same thing.
(03:24):
I was watching the olectually. I was like, you know,
I don't like the way this is going, but I'm
sure it's going to be fine. I'm going to bed,
and woke up he was president. Like my good man, Yeah,
the same thing happened to me. I was at a party.
We were all watching. We had all this different food
(03:45):
with different hilarious Trump names on it, like the build
a wall, dip, all this crazy stuff, and then the
party just got worse and worse worse, and everybody left.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
And we were like, is this really gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Next morning, my daughter called and I said just tell me,
and she's like, he's president, and now I had a
party at my house. Uh everybody. When it started, we
were like whoa. And in the middle of it, my
daughter's friend Cameron was like, this is happening, and I go, Cameron,
he's not going to get elected. We're fine. Oh man,
(04:23):
oh man, that twizzle. I was lying. And even when
I told Cameron, Cameron, I'm sorry for you're listening, I
felt like he was going when I said, I'm just
trying to give that chiuse a boat. Oh, I was
trying to give him one more day. But yeah, I lied.
And now this is where we're at. I just there.
I don't When I saw the people, when I saw
(04:47):
the immigrants changed together at the waist being loaded onto
a plane, I was just like, oh all at not
like that, not like that has never happened, but just
like to see it. Then you have to go the
rate at which this is going to happen. And then
(05:08):
the fact that they said, well, of course there will
be collateral arrests, meaning of course we're going to arrest
the wrong people. Bitch y'all been doing that. You ain't
got bit under control. Yeah, still you still have guns
and you're still doing collateral arrest You gotta figure something out.
(05:30):
I don't know. I mean, who's whose liberties are Important's
fucking You can just be like, well, it's okay, will
falsely arrest some people, but a couple they're just brown,
so it's fine, does not matter, it does not matter.
They're probably going we arrest the wrong black guy twice
(05:51):
a day the same he's the guy. Remember, our friend
Robert had bought this. He had like the best classic
Cadillac Bear, yeah and Bear, and he had a couple
of cars, and he said, every time I drive this car,
(06:13):
I get pulled over. He goes, so I only take
it out for like a fun ride, and he said,
I usually get pulled over twice twice a day when
I'm driving it around. And I just was like, really,
but no, yeah, yeah, people are gonna be getting stopped,
pulled over, arrested out here upstate where I live. Every
(06:35):
I've lived up here for three years. Every and I'm
not exaggerating, every time someone gets pulled over, I look
and see and they're black, every single time. And now
i drive like one of those Coplikan cars. So I've
never been pulled over ever since I got that car.
I'm like, God, damn, this car was the cheekode. Oh
(06:56):
you have is get a car that looks like there's
a cop in it, and you will not be getting
pulled over. Yeah. This is the first car that I've
had in a while that doesn't have tinted windows. And
this big oldhead. I can't hide now, I can't Ie,
they can see me. What if I told you the
tinted windows are part of it. I know, but at
(07:19):
least they can't see see you. Yeah, they can see
you coming. Yeah, but if they see you and they
know you're a girl, then you're a teeny bit safer.
Oh my god's true. That's a sad thing to say, Lacey.
It's true. It's true. Damn I met that ship too. Okay, Lacy,
we're talking about the news. Okay, okay, okay, no more,
(07:40):
no more, Okay, now, can you please that Robert death
Kennedy said, Oh God.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I was gonna call you yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And time, but I ran out and told mom and Dad,
I go, okay, Robert, you're Kennedy interested, we were the
strongest of the strong, and that black people need to
be put on a different vaccine schedule than white people. Yeah,
what if that mean different vaccine schedule. Did you see
the black woman that was questioning. She took her glasses off,
she goes, well, what schedule would you put me on?
(08:17):
It was she got him so good, and he was
mumblier than usual. He was stunning. He was like, well
stop it couldn't get it out. I mean, my god,
Black people need different vaccines, and you know what that
shit does. It just makes black people less likely to
(08:41):
take the vaccine, which is you're already in danger of it. Also,
I mean, didn't they use us for experiments? Yes? So
now I are just facing everyone's But you're all, this
is not the superhero story that I wanted. I love superheroes,
but that's not the kind of superhirl I want to be.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I don't need vaccines.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I mean, then if you think our immune systems are stronger,
then are we getting colds? Just answer me that. Do
I get three colds every winter? Or do I have
a very healthy immune system? What is it? Because I
have a cold right now, having night will and I
(09:28):
got the extra immune system? What a fucking idiot? What
do you keep black people keep robotusting in business?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
My dad just told me, let's not take some robotussing now, what.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I'm saying, you have a hole. We if black people
have better immune systems, we you would. I mean, I
see what he's starting about. Black people don't call into work.
But it's not because we're not sick. It's because our
classes a bitch, so we can't call unto work. Oh
(10:03):
my god, But Lacy, we're not gonna talk about the
news today. That's not what this episode is about. It's
not what the episode. This episode is about. You know.
Now I do have to talk about this, which cracked
me up. They were asking Kennedy, are you an anti vaxxer?
(10:26):
Absolutely not, you know, a million people asked him, absolutely not,
absolutely not. What Bernie Sanders was like, so let me
get this straight. You're not an anti vaxxer and he
said no. On Kennedy's website, he has the baby onesies
that are like, I won't get any vaccines. I can't
remember what was on the baby's onesies. There were several
different little phrases. It was the best thing ever, because
(10:47):
then why is this on you? What? Why is this
on your website? And he just was like, silence is
not an answer. I'm gonna need you to speak. I
need you to tell me yeah. I mean, the best
information hearing had to be Oh dang, what's that guy's name?
Had to be? The guy kept being like I love beer. Okay,
(11:09):
is that a crime? That was hilarious. That man's name
is Brett Kevin of Yes, that ship was hilarious because
oh I do hate that guy's goods. You know how,
sometimes you learn just one extra bit of information about
someone and then their whole personality falls into place. Like
(11:32):
I used to have this and I still do. I
go to this massage guy sometimes for massages and he's
just like extremely beautiful, chocolate man, filled with themselves. I'm
going somewhere, so then he goes. I'm like, what is
(11:54):
his deal? Why does he why does he seem like
a hippie? But then he's also like comically gorgeous? What's
missing here? And then one day he was like, oh man,
it's hot in here, and he unzipped his hoodie and
had a Nauruto T shirt on, and I was like,
there we go. That's what was very Yeah, all right,
(12:15):
you're a nerd. Your nerd, you don't know, you just
see you're just a little idiot. I love that guy.
I shouldn't say idiot. He's very Those are the best.
Those are the best guys to find that don't know.
It's hard to find a gorgeous man that doesn't know
he's gorgeous. Yeah, I don't know. Those are the ones
you want to keep. But he's also a nerd. But hey,
look that's not my flavor anymore. You can keep it.
(12:40):
I see, I see what you're going for. I think
it's great. Keep it. No thanks, but yeah, so am
I gonna be able to get married or not? That's
a hard absolutely not. Your wedding will be in I
don't know. Look up a look up the country. That's
(13:01):
where you guys gotta live. I don't know. Oh man, Yeah,
we might not be able to get married for a while.
Destination Ready, don't go to Mexico. You were talking about
visiting Mexico. You're not gonna be able to come back,
So don't go to Mexico. Just just telling you, telling
me to help smuggle you back across. I cannot ship.
(13:25):
I get stuck over there. I'll be like, whip you
living there. That's where you're doing a podcast from. Shoot,
I'll be fine. Maybe you could be fine. Yeah, just
give me a couple of months to get down with
the language. I'm gonna have it. I'm gonna have it. Fine, Okay,
we're not going to talk about the news, but no,
(13:46):
you know what, we should go to break and then
when we come back from break, Lacy, we're not ever
going to mention the news again. Mus Again, that's not
even what this podcast is, guys. This is light and
fun with like quick glances at society but also like
goofing around. Okay, this isn't a hardcore news podcast, all right,
No it's not. So get that ship somewhere. Okay, we
(14:13):
love you, and we'll be right back with more of
the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. So stick around. Hey, everybody,
(14:35):
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacy Lacy
and Amber Show. This episode is not about the news,
so technically we haven't even come back from break yet.
So what I want to say is this, So what
you what you're talking about? Non binary people just don't
use trimp. I mean, they just non binary people who
(15:05):
don't exist here, just erase and everything everything. Oh lord,
like why so to what end? And now what he's
doing is I just am really terrified that now people
are going to just start getting fired from their drowns.
I mean d I already did did that, but just
(15:28):
oh Sam is queer, I can fire him because of that. Yeah,
this is happening. Yes, this is going to be so scary.
When Markus Zuckerberger was like, you can make fun of
people for being queer and you can call it a
mental illness, I was like, what is happening? But also
(15:52):
for the people that think that that does not affect them, please,
So now it's going to be like, hmmm, Lacy is black,
Sarah should have had her job. Now we can fire
Lacey because Sarah is white and Sarah is better. Yeah,
and that can be the excuse say right down. So
people that are like I'm not queer, if that doesn't
affect me, m wow, they're going to make that jump soon.
(16:15):
It never occurred to me that because they're getting rid
of DEI, they can go back and undo all of
the jobs that d I did and they'll make it up.
Even if someone wasn't hired because of their color. Yes,
what you were, you're black, you're out, you got a job.
Get worried, Yeah, really get worried. Yeah, if you're a woman,
(16:35):
get worried. If you're of any other race. You're not
a white straight male. Get worried, Get worried, and I mean, yikes,
it's yikes, lace, It's pretty yikes. But again, this is
another thing that cracks me up. Everything that is wrong
in the world is because of Deires. You can't just
say this service. You can't say that, what.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Are you saying?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
This business terrible because they fired too many? Did you
know that? For sure? What I need him to do
whenever he complains about something being terrible because of Dia Hires,
I needs exactly what you're talking about. Show their face,
show their face, show their thanks. I'm okay. You think
this is another thing Trump? You think this many black
people are running things.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Have you ever been in any corporation? Black people are
running everything you think people have still are running.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
We're not, sir. Most corporations did you walk into are
being run by white man And that is one hundred
percent fact. That is a fact. So if you think,
all of a sudden, so you think black people are
just running the run in the United States right now,
you think d I did all that, it did not. Yeah,
we fine, go ahead and think that, lord. And then
(17:49):
also when you say that you're saying white people don't
make mistakes. You're saying, you're saying, because this failed, not
only are all black people or people of color running things,
but if a white person had been running this, there
would have been nothing, because it would have been perfect.
Listen to yourself. Yeah, and then the people caught in
(18:10):
the middle, like, at some point somewhere, some white person
will have made a mistake that should cost them their job,
but they'll have the option of blaming Lamont, and they
were not. And then Lamont's gonna get fired even though
he didn't do shit. He didn't do nothing. I mean, yeah,
that's not Lamar got hired after that mistake happened. He
(18:32):
didn't even he wasn't even there when I must stay happen.
You know how good Lamar look, first of all, graduated
bar for Percy's job. Have a lightning pie. He didn't
do anything better than Percy Jackson and the lightning they did.
Oh wait, Percy's black too, Sorry, dude, it's look, none
(18:58):
of that matters today to day. We're talking about our
favorite ice creams. Oh yeah, yeah, speaking of ice creams,
Ben and Jerry's Girl and Jerry's is dead serious they're like, hah,
(19:24):
let's organize. Yeah, it's pretty cute. Also, there's like on TikTok,
there's like my TikTok, what the algorithm is serving me
is like people all over the world are protesting what's
happening in America and it's not being shown on TikTok
(19:45):
and Twitter because they're, you know, making sure to suppress that. Also,
everyone's gonna and there's like this facet of TikTok that's
like we're all gonna rebel everyone everywhere or January twenty ninth,
we're all going to take to the streets. And it's
(20:05):
like what, no, no, not, what are you talking about?
When what? But it is there's just like this like
sensationalism that is so very much on both sides that
it's like, oh man, I thought only they did that,
but now it's us. It's them being like migrants are
(20:28):
coming to kill your kids, and now we're all like,
we're all gonna get guns and flip out. But it's like,
I mean that's not I mean they're saying we're gonna
get guns. We're not saying yeah yeah yeah, but I
mean I'm getting again. But nah, that's not I Amber,
I have to disagree with you. I'm ready to protest
in the streets. If they call me for the protest,
(20:50):
I'm in the streets protest. I'm ready to in the streets.
I love protesting in the streets. But sometimes it's real
and then sometimes it's sometimes it's not. Yeah, I I
am not a TikToker. I don't even know if that's
how you say it. I'm not a Tiktokian. I'm not
part of Tiktopia. I don't know how to TikTok I
(21:12):
don't know what that is. I don't know what it is.
And I'm proud of that. So I didn't have to
cry when it got canceled. I didn't know anything about that.
I barely do Instagram. But I did join Blue Sky
and I found you on there. Hi, I forget I
found you on Blue Sky because I thought, oh, everybody's
going to go to Blue Sky. All I have people
(21:34):
that I'm repping on is my Facebook page. I'm Facebook
and I'm now a Blue Skyaton, a Blue Skyathean. I'm
in blues guy, soopia, I see you're doing. See that's
(21:54):
a lot for me to just find Blue Sky. Yeah,
I like it. I think you didn't great. I think
I'm doing good too, Lacy Milder Ruffin. I mean, I
feel like everything is bad, and it's starting so far outside.
Like the very first people are non binary, Like that's
(22:18):
the first people where he was like, Hey, everybody fuck
these people, right, yuck, Like that's first. So then I
feel like he's working from the smallest group of people.
And then now it's people who are in the country illegally.
That's bigger. Then it's gonna be bussing it. Oh d e,
I right, and that's that's code for everyone who's not
(22:42):
white man, and he just I think also, there's got
to be some type of special ID that you can have.
Oh and we'll never get it what and they're going
to find excuses why we don't have the ID. But
there's going to be a special ID. And I don't
know what it is. This is happening, Mark my words.
I bet you when the I D comes out, you
(23:04):
owe me one hundred dollars, okay, one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, it's gonna be a special ID. It's gonna mean something.
You'll be able to go a certain place without it.
Mm hmmmm mmmmmm. No, Okay, pallette cleanse palate cleans right now. Okay,
let's slide into my d MS or slide out. Hey,
what's the song? Slide out of my DM, slid out
(23:38):
of my slide out of Moth's sorry, that's what missing man.
We we missed our calling. We should have had a band. Okay,
So first I ask this question, how long should you
(24:03):
wait or do you wait to meet someone? Listen, there
is no exact number. You get a feeling for someone,
and listen. If there is a tiny little red flag,
you don't meet that person. I've had friends that are like, oh,
he seemed kind of odd, but I met him anyway. No, no,
because that's your body telling you this ain't right. We
(24:24):
have intuition for a reason. I'll get right off of
an elevator if someone steps on. I've done it a
million times. You're like, that's rude. Don't care. I got
a bad vibe from that person. You ain't closing or
doraor on me. And now I'm in a closet with you.
I'm in a closet with you. Yeah, ladies, get off
the elevator. Do what you gotta do. I protect yourself.
So no, I'm not going to If I feel odd
(24:44):
about someone aunt, I always go to the same place Amber.
Where is it on my first date? Say it Mantra.
I go to Mantra. I know the staff. Sometimes I'm like,
I'm on a date. I'm on a first day, So
you got my back. Yeah, go to the same place.
Those people don't know all. I can run out. It's
got a small parking lot, get in my card, take off.
(25:05):
So yeah, it just totally depends. Sometimes it's been weeks,
sometimes it's been months, Sometimes it's been days. It's all
the vibe that I get from. I need to find
out as much information from you as possible before I
go on a first date with you. Yeah, and it's
not a lot, believe me, few and far between. I
see you gets to a point where we're gonna meet.
(25:26):
I'm not picky. There's no one there. That's what I
keep it. You're saying that I'm picky. There's no None
of my friends are going on dates. When we go
on a date, everyone gets on the chat. We're like,
show us what he looks like, what's he going? Where
are you guys going? What? And then we just wait,
baited breath till after the date. There's no where. No
(25:49):
one's going on all these dates everyone. Yeah, no one's
doing this. There's no one left. There's no one out there.
You know who's out there? It women are when you
are out there, I know they are. Then get yourself
a big old step. Okay, let me read my first DM.
(26:16):
It's been a while, yay, so, oh my gosh, I've
got to get my picture ready. M m mmm. And
I can fully show this picture okay, Okay. I was
scared you wouldn't be able to show it. Oh, you're
gonna laugh when you see it. So a pick was
sent to me and he said, what are you looking for? Okay?
Not this? Oh no, you're in a You're in a
(26:37):
bloody hockey You're in a bloody hockey mask with your
shirt off. I didn't even respond for fear that I
might be found and you'll kill me. What am I
looking for? Now? I can say, not, you fool? Fuck?
Why would that be here? I'm looking to survive And
it's only picture. Who's responding to you? Who? That's your profile? Sure?
(27:00):
Who's going on a date with you? Survives the baseline? Yeah,
so he's wearing a hockey masks, shirtless and there's blood
on the hockey world. You know, probably not real blood, hopefully,
I don't know. That's worse than the guy standing in
the grave asking me out. The picture of the man
(27:22):
standing in the grave asking you on a date is
the fucking funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.
It's pretty funny. We can't show you everything. We could
show you just one thing that would be it. But
the fact that he looked like Andre three thousand, that
(27:44):
was the best because everyone was like, oh, he looked
like No, he didn't look like what you thought he'd
looked like. No, Flord, I'll tell you, okay. So yeah,
that's what's out there. This is why I'm not going
on dates. This is why I'm not out there. I'm
glad you didn't go on a date with that guy.
I shared that picture. Boy, we were laughing and laughing.
(28:04):
That is more now than norm You think I'm joking.
They're all that terrible and different levels, they're all that bad,
all that bad. Okay. The other one says I got
a DM and all it said was high. I mean,
I prefer a sentence, but at this point you're not
going to get a sentence. You're not even gonna get
a hello, how are you? That's rare. Sometimes it's just
(28:28):
thumbs up, it's a it's a I don't know some
type of emoji, and you're like, sir, you're fifty. You're fifty.
You're answering emails at work, so I know you can speak.
So I got a high, which is the equivalent of hello,
how are you today? So I was like, okay, So
I said hello, how are you? What are you up
(28:49):
to today? And he messaged me back, It's Friday. That
was it, okay, not I'm doing well, how are you?
You just said it's Friday. Okay. So I was like,
not interested, don't care, and I just left. I didn't
delete it. Been an hour later he said, listen, if
you don't want to build with me, just say so.
I'm looking for a queen. What I don't Where did
(29:10):
we go? You said three words? You said three words.
If I don't want to build with you, I don't.
If I don't want to build, I gotta be your
fucking second grade teacher. You can't make a complete sense.
I gotta teach you the what a fucking predicate is? No,
(29:30):
I gotta build your vocabulary. Build. So Jesus, remember hooks
on phonic, hooked on phonic works it worked for me.
That just escalated a little quickly. Yeah, that made me mad.
He said, listen, if you don't want to build with me,
what don't we What just happened? What just happened? Did
(29:51):
you message to the right person do? Did you message
to the right person building? Oh? Okay, okay. So another
guy messaged me, hey cutie. Hate that, I hate it,
but okay said hello, said hey cutie. And I went
and read his profile, and I said, oh, I just
(30:14):
read your profile and saw that you were a pro Trump.
No thank you? Oh wait, wait is this person black?
You know? He was God bless America? And so he said,
and I've been waiting for this one to tell you
this one. When will you all learn that if you're
not with a Trump supporter, you won't survive. He is
(30:37):
cleaning out the vermin. Hold up, so I said, sir,
you are the vermin. He is referring to vermin means
anyone that's not white. I'll send you the map to
the underground railroad. Boy, sir, you're not gonna make it.
(30:58):
I just did you not hear me say? Everyone's going
to have some type ID. You're not getting it. Oh my,
you're not getting it. I can't believe it. So he's oh,
like he thinks he said, that's cleaning out the vermin.
What's vermin? I need to know your whole backstory, but
I don't care enough to find but I would like
to know how did you get there? I mean, technically
(31:21):
he might not be wrong, because technically Trump could do anything.
He could throw everyone into the Grand Canyon. We don't know,
but I do know this. Then, black Trump supporters are
not going to survive. You will not be a brain.
You won't survive. You won't like a white Trump loyalist,
at least you have like a I see what you
(31:44):
will likely benefit. Socially, you will definitely be taken for
every dollar you have, but socially you might benefit. But
a black Trump supporter, I feel like you either is
not your club. It's not your club. It's not for you.
It's not for you. It's not for you. But I
(32:04):
also don't think this is just like when people were like,
there was a doctor who said the vaccines are bad,
So I believe the doctor. That's one doctor, and then
everybody else is wrong. So everyone's wrong except one person.
And that's why I feel about black people. For Trump,
so ninety nine percent and it's less than that. But
(32:25):
most black people are wrong. And then you you found
the secret. You found it, you smarter discovered it black people,
all right. I do think that's a little bit of
people being like, well, white people's ideas are more valid
than Black people's ideas. Don't get me started, because we're
(32:47):
not talking about the news black self hate in America.
We're not talking about the news. No, we're not talking
about the news. We're not talking about social issues. We're
talking about that picture getting scared of myself. I saw that,
I am the stea mask. What is happening? What a scary,
scary picture? I don't why why did he put that
(33:08):
on his profile? And why did you think? Someone was like, oh,
what's behind that bloody mask? You know, sir, you're going
to hurt me. And he's like, you saw my mask.
That's why you in this, That's why you in my dungeon.
But you came on a date anyway, You showed me
who you were, and think I thank you for that.
Don't come on here wearing a suit with your hair doune.
It's a fresh cut when you're a Jason Mask man. Yeah,
(33:31):
wear that mask, wear the mask. That is exactly who
you are. I had a dating profile for two minutes.
Did you have your shirt off with bloody mass and
had a bloody mask. But I one of my pictures
was me making the space. It was the feel. But
(33:56):
it's because I didn't want to lie. Because if you
think that I'm going to be serious or glamorous, you've
been fooled. Amber is going to be fart jokes and
part the bonnet. She's fart jokes with the bonnet. But
that's who you're gonna get. That's right, and that's someone's speed.
But you know, just like Jason Mask guy, I didn't
(34:18):
want to lie. I'm goofy and some woman my messaging
back with her Jason mask on and then oh that's
a match made in heaven. That's right. He's like, I'll
meet you in the forest and she's like, not if
I they fall in love. One of the chances that
both of them are serial killers. It's rare, but it
can happen. And then that cancels each other out. Yeah,
(34:39):
and then they both survive. Then they both survived, definitely doing. Okay,
I think it's time for sister Court. Oh yay, are
you ready ready, Sister Cord the sister is weird. Sisters enter,
they talk about your emails that you sent in and
(35:03):
they rained down over it because we're both the judge
this time, yay, is that this court got two judges
and we're gonna have to fool on you. So come
into this courtroom. If you won't, if you want to
be a part of this courtroom, please email us at
Amber and Lacy Advice at gmail dot com. Please do.
(35:27):
I just want to say cookie to you. I say,
shut up? Okay everyone this first one. Now I also
need to say, who in the hell chosy Sister Court,
because it's just gonna everyone is going to make you angry. Okay, Amber,
I read did you read through these? I didn't. Everyone
(35:48):
got a theme. Everyone got a theme. And I'm we're
gonna talk about this later though. Okay, Okay, my husband,
this is the first one. My husband keeps putting and
leaving his dirty dish is in the sink, no matter
how many times I ask them to put them in
the dishwasher instead of putting a dish down in the
damn sink. It's one more step to open up the
(36:09):
dishwasher door and put his dirty dishes in the rack.
When the dishes pile up in the sink at the
end of the day, it drives me nuts. And guess
who has to now spend a full ten minutes loading
up the machine? Me? Please don't send me to the slammer. Yes,
I'm mad. What am I supposed to do? How do
you balance out the house responsibilities? Okay, this is what
I'm going to tell you. Oh are you going to
(36:30):
go amber? Yes? Okay, this woman is married to me,
And I'm sorryeel bad because this is exactly what I'm doing.
It's right there. The dishwasher is right there. It's right there.
I can see the dish washer and put it right God,
(36:50):
thiss is on the counter. These are dishes. I'm never
going to wash them. All they have to do is
go think not gonna do it. I'm sorry, I'm bad. Okay,
first of all, now I'm even more upset. No, if
you don't put them damn dishes in the dishwashers, you
know what I'm gonna be pety. I'm covering up the sink.
(37:11):
I'm covering up the sink during the day, block of wood.
And then I'm gonna put a big old note on
there full if you don't put these dishes in this dishwasher. Now, Yeah,
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Man, What do
you think I'm gonna see what happens? Then you gotta
put one dish in the bed, just to let him
know you mean business. What I was gonna say? That
one on his pillow, Just one, the dirtiest one on
(37:33):
his pillow. Yeah, you only need to. I mean we're
going mafya here. You know, the horse head under the covers.
You only gotta do that once. Yeah, dried up bowl
of chili right there, that man. That man didn't act
up a free saw that horse head. You're about to
see some stuff in places that you should not. Yeah, okay,
you're about to see something. You getting your car in
(37:54):
the work in the morning, all the dishes are next
to you. They're now in the passenger seat packed up again.
Up and what a sign? Act up again. I don't
have time for this. We're both adults, and that's how
I feel now. Also, a thing you can do is
find out what he likes to do. And then have
(38:14):
him do it so much that it evens out you're
having to build. Like. The reason I am so bad
is I will do all the laundry. I'll do it all,
don't care. I love it. I love doing the laundry.
I think it's good. It's good for me. I love it.
So I mean, if the other person doesn't mind, then
I'm okay with that. But if they mind, that's true,
(38:34):
you better act right. They see I say they're guilty, Well,
their spouses guilty. Yeah, their spouse is guilty, and you
tell them that I said that. Okay, And if they
have any problem with me, you know where they can
give me a planet fitness. I'll be there all day
today because I'm starting some stuff. I gotta beat ski
mass guy there. I got so many be busy.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Today, Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Our next one says breakfast question. My husband and I
both work full time jobs. I am not a breakfast person,
and I'm more than happy having some yogurt or a
piece of fruit. However, my husband says he likes a
full breakfast with potatoes, bacon, eggs, and toast, and he
expects me to make it for him. He wants me
(39:22):
to cook him one of these big breakfasts at least
twice a week and on the weekends. I don't want
to wake up early to make this since I don't
like eating heavy foods in the morning. Who is being
unreasonable me or him? Well, I would say your slave
owner is being perfectly reasonable because you're his' Wait a second,
(39:43):
they're married. I'm sorry, you gotta be have your full
fucking mind. If you think I'm awake, my ass up.
I mean, what is she to him? And I mean
that what are are you to him? Are y'all? Do
you you? What is this? Are you a kept woman?
(40:07):
Because if you're a kept woman, then do it. She
just says she works a full time job. She works
a full time job. She said, my husband and I
both work full time job. Stop right there, whatever you're
about to say, I'm for you. I don't got time.
I don't got time for that. We can share. I'm
all for cooking for someone. I don't mind that, but
(40:30):
I'm not going to be the one serving you every
day over and over and over again. We're going to
share some responsibilities. That's it. I mean, that's on the surface.
On a deeper level, why don't you take a look
at the man you married and what your relationship is,
because do you need to beat his ass? Look, I
(40:54):
don't think anyone should be beating up people they're married to.
But I'll do it for you. Send him the Planet
Fitness again. I gotta. I'm gonna have a line. Send
him the planet fitnis on name something to meet me.
I'm going with the big hair. Yeah, I got I
got a pink tanked up on today. I got time today,
I got time. She'll be there, she'll be I'll be there. Okay,
(41:15):
So he's guilty. He's guilty. It's twenty twenty five. That's
what we should have just said. It's twenty twenty five,
and just moving on. They can figure out Google talking
about Google women doing all the housework twenty twenty five.
That would have answered your question. Also, if you not
even go eat it, he's the only one who's hungry.
Hungry people feed themselves, so you must not be that
(41:37):
fucking hungry. I'm hungry. I go to the kitchen and
I feed myself food, or I go what that's too bad,
I'm lazy, And then I don't. But what I do
was make it someone else's problem. I did that last
night I woke up. I was so hungry, but I
was like, I can't. I don't feel like going into
the kitchen to cook anything. I didn't. That's right, and
(41:58):
that's a good die. That's a great dietziness that was motivated.
I'd be so heavy. I'm just not willing to do it.
All Right, here we go. Here is our next Oh, guilty,
he's guilty. Guilty. We don't have time for this. In fact,
he's going to prison. Ten years is ten year prison sentence. Okay,
(42:21):
I want to big Trump gonna bail about. Though Trump's
gonna bail about you actually end up in jail. Message
O lord, Okay, all right. Our next one is how
do I handle my friend? This is for Amber. Amber.
Let you know right now. How do I handle my
friend who sends invitations adult to adult only parties in
(42:41):
which their kids are still there. Twice we've recently had
invites that said adult only. Everyone who got invited paid
for a babysitter, and then when we arrived, we learned
that the host two younger kids would be joining us.
I don't really want to go through all this trouble
getting a babysitter just to go to a place and
there's still kids there. How should I handle this? Next time?
(43:02):
My friend invites us, Oh, what the book? What are
the kids doing? I want to be there with you?
And yeah, Marcia, you should ask for that promotion. What
are they doing? Kids can't be at a at the
part out, No, be a nosy. You only have sex
with your husband once a month.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
They don't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Really doesn't need to know that.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
No, we ain't gonna give me no advice on that.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Send them to their room. Also, you got my hopes
up here. I am thinking I have a child free
night and act a fool, act crazy. But inside they
don't want to see me dancing to back that ass
of They don't They don't want to hear it. They're
going to be a part of it. They're gonna learn today.
Oh I love it. Yeah, and their kids are still there.
(43:52):
I have That's happened to me quite a few times.
Happened to me quite a few times. Kidding yeah, and
then their kids are there. I don't understand it happened
to me where people have brought their kids. It's different
if someone asks, hey, I don't have a sitter, can
I bring? Then you're aware. When you think that it's
adults only and then someone walks in with their kids,
(44:13):
whole vibe goes down. Yeah, whole vibe. But this mouth
what I'm about to say. Now, I gotta censor myself.
I always let people know they can bring their kids
to my house. But first of all, my house is dangerous.
Amber's house is just a bunch of sharp edges, sharp
edges and height. Yep. You if you wanted to enjoy life,
(44:38):
you can do it inside. Don't be at Amber's house
and be depressed. You just jump off the flares. You're done.
You're done. You're done. It's really and you could also
enjoy life on an accident if you ended up falling
down with things. None of this is to regulation. Nothing's regulation.
Hyping cliff over your kitchen and I leaned over it
once and thought this is a bad idea. It was
shrying to be funny. No, it could have fallen and die. Yeah,
(45:01):
and you can fall anywhere in here and at least
break your neck. Yeah, but uh yeah, don't. I don't know.
I feel like, well, I tell people, if you bring
your kids here, there are several places for them to
die inside and outside the house. I wouldn't do it,
but you can. I mean, bring them here, but I
must stay wild running around toddler at your house. If
(45:25):
you ever had an unruly toddler, they wouldn't make it.
I have never had like a okay because w h
I t e toddler here? They like they wanted that,
like the run. They don't want to really like the room.
And they were three. They're perfectly fine. They sat on
(45:47):
the corner like this, They're like around, I'm not embarrassing
my mom today. M m no. But it also has
happened as people have brought their kids here and them
been like, oh, I got to rethink this because I
think most people have just like a big backyard that's
not a cliff trap. We don't have that. All we
(46:11):
have is danger. You can't even be too drunk over here.
Not really, you can't get as drunk as you want.
Remember when you had too many people on your deck
and I stepped off and I wished everyone well because
I thought that deck was going to fall down. I
didn't love none of all that day. I was like,
peace out, I'm out, yeah, but I was drunk. I
was like, tell my story. Remember when there was a uh,
(46:37):
the earthquake. No, remember the well the earthquake in New York. Yeah, youself.
And I was at your home. I went right to
the door because I thought this house is going to
fall into the ocean, gonna die. Okay, well, all right,
I think it's time for a break. Okay everyone, we're
going on a break and we will be right back
with the Amber and Lacy Lacey and Amber Show. Hey, everybody,
(47:09):
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacey Lacy
and Amber Show. Today's topic is ice cream or some lie.
It's fucking news. It'snooze. Oh my god. Every time I
look at anything, it's terrifying. I don't like this. I
don't want to do this anymore. I don't like it.
We want it. Okay, hold on, we just got back
(47:30):
from break. We did not give a verdict on inviting
your children to an adult's only party. Oh it's guilty.
Everyone is guilty. Do you not bring your children? We're
not joking. Mostly she does not want to bring your children.
She brought her children to an adult who no, no, no,
I'm saying they're guilty. Yeah, they're guilty. You're innocent. And
she said, what should she do? The next time her
(47:51):
friend invites her. We didn't give her the advice don't go.
You don't want to hang around children all night? Don't go?
What can you do? Can't you just ask her because
it's going to be there, or is this really an
adult's only party? You're absolutely right? Give a slight hint. Yeah,
and then maybe show understand it's very bold to be
like or roll up with your children. I will fight
(48:12):
it out to the end, fight it out. There's only
one true child give give the meat your storm. Yeah right, okay,
and that is sister Court. We are the best someone
put on here. Again. We need to have a meeting
(48:33):
after this. We like to do a segment call that's rank?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Were we right?
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Did you see what was on that? That's right? I
did it, says favorite super Bowl snacks. I have never,
in my long life watched the Super Bowl. The fact
that y'all thought that I knew anything about sports, it's
hilarious to me. Amber have you ever watched a Super Bowl?
I have the whole thing, from start to finish. No, no, okay,
(49:00):
absolutely not. But okay, so let's go ahead, go ahead.
People In the middle of the super Bowl, they sing
a song and I watched that. Of course, that's the
best part that LA see. I did watch a super Bowl.
I went, you went, You went to a super Bowl. No, no,
you were there. I was just about to say, you
(49:22):
were there and you did watch it, But what did
you eat? Six hot bags? Did you really eat six?
I feel like it was more. And I need you
to know no one in the world loves hot dogs
more than Amber fucking love hot dogs. Geez. If I
was having a super Bowl party, these are the things
that I would have for my guests. Okay, I would
have pizza, and I'm just gonna go ahead and buy
(49:44):
a Godfather's Pizza. That's gonna be my excuse. Yeah, Godfather's
Pizza combo. And then I would probably have nachos and
chicken wings. I feel like that's a good Super Bowl variety. Yes,
I would have several dips, as many dips as you
can have. There would be like a dip area where
we would have French onion. We would have guacamole, we
(50:06):
would have kaeso, have as many dips as we can
think of, hummus because people love to get dippy. Then
I would you know what I look for whenever I
get to someone's party, especially if it's a super Bowl party,
where again I'm only there to socialize. Yeah, I feel
(50:29):
like lots of times it's a bunch of food I
really don't like. And then I look for those little
sausages that are in clamber. Now is that I know
I can eat it? Barbecue sausages, they see they are.
If you have that, you do have baby sausage. And
(50:50):
that's just those two things go together. What are those
things called little smokies? Little smokies. Absolutely, I'm not eating
the little smokies. I hate barbecue sauce. You know this
about me. I hate it with the passion. Also, at
my party, there's got to be a second room. And
I'm not kidding. I'm not watching the super Bowl. So
there's gonna be a music room. Yeah, it's gonna be
(51:12):
old school. It's gonna be nineties R and B. I'm
just saying, you don't open it up. You gonna hear
anything you gonna hearn. It's gonna be older than you
gotta hear Luther Na a Baker. Yeah, you go to
hear boys to men, that's right. And you can go
sit in that room and have fun. I'm not watching this.
I'll peek out every once in a while and make
sure everyone's eating good. You're not gonna get me sitting there.
I do not love sports. It's really hard to fake too,
(51:37):
because I cannot. It's a game, you said it. This
is a game. The game. Also, I was just out
with my friends and we were at a bar and
there was a game on. It was the Chiefs. People
that are watching games get a little too friend like,
I don't want that. I don't want that. And I
was pretending to cheer for the Chiefs because my friend
(51:58):
was so any you can get me to chair for anyone.
If we're sitting in a group and everyone is on
a team, I will I will rep that team. You
give me a sweatshirt, I'm gonna act like I'm on
the team. Yeah. So I go up to the bar
and this man amber nobody's from he put his hand
around my waist into him. Is he dead? Now? If
(52:24):
you're listening and you've been listening to this show, you
know that was the wrong thing to do. Stranger danger,
So I don't know you. We were pretty much the
same age, and I just grabbed his arm as hard
as I could, and I just removed it very firmly,
and he got he got the idea. Yeah, yes, America.
He pulled me in, he carressed me like we were davy. Yeah,
(52:48):
but he tried one more time. No. I was with
my friend Mikky. Yes. So we were sitting at a
table and you know the purse chair. We had our
purses on a chair, and we did that to block
people from trying to chit chat with us. We had
our own little group. He came down and he sat
directly on the first care No, and I said, oh no, no, no,
(53:10):
there's purses there. And he said relax, relax, yeah, and I, uh,
do you know what I said to him? Ever? What?
It's my thing that I always say, you know what,
I'm in a really bad place. Just get out of prison.
I'm in a really bad place. And he went and moved.
(53:31):
It's the best. It's the best line to say to someone.
They don't know what to say. Because you can tell
someone you're married. You can tell someone that's my wife
right there. They don't get No one wants to get
involved with you because the first thing they're thinking is
what does she do? Yeah, I don't want to get
involved with it. Yeah, so and that's how we ended
that night. Weird, no free, guys, I think we've done it.
(53:56):
I also think we've done it, so I think we
did it a lot of la today. We talked about
our feelings and we didn't talk about the news at all.
We never said one word about the news. And I'm
not the news show. No. Yeah, And you know what,
this is the friday before this episode goes live. So
who fucking no between here? Will we get our new
(54:21):
ID cards by then? We might? Will we still be legal?
Who knows? Oh my god? Well, we all have to
dye our hair blonde and straightened. Can you imagine? I mean,
I could. I gotta go buy my blonde wig now blond.
(54:41):
It would be pretty fun. Children, I have corns. Hey, everyone,
thanks so much for tuning into the Emma and Lacey,
Lacy and Amber Show. You can find Lacey at Lacy
Lamar one across all socials and why is that one? Well,
launch a messager and find out I'm Amber rough and
across all socials. And look, we all have to live
(55:04):
here in this country, so it's time for you to
look to your brother, to look to your siblings, say hey,
I'm willing to make this an unpleasant time for all
of us. Try me home. God bless Mierica The End
(55:31):
by The Amber and Lacey. Lacy and Amber Show is
a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sani. Super produced
(55:53):
by Becca Ramos. Because She's a Superhero co produced by
Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by
David Schmoll.
I show us full of yays, never ever boos. Today
we're going to happen and not talk about the news.
It's the ever lesser lessen Bush. I really like the
loan note at the end. The loan note is the best,
It makes up, the most funnest it is. It is.
(00:22):
It was beautiful Lacy Mildred Rum, what is whoppering my dude? Okay,
so first I am an Omaha, Nebraska. Gross. Oh, I
shouldn't say you hurt your own family. We're all here
in Omaha. Listen, even though we're not going to talk
(00:45):
about the news. Yeah, these people are repping hard for
Trump over here. I'm just letting your room. Yeah, they're
going hard. Yeah, I'm making my own underground railroad. I'm
just digging headed north, going up yonder. Oh, I'm going
up beyond oh. Yeah. So just getting ready them. Every
(01:11):
day the jokes are becoming more real, and it's a
little less silly. It's a little less silly because we're
pretty you know, like like saying we're terrible. We're terrible.
We like to talk we're terrible. Things that could possibly happen,
likely through singing a Negro spiritual but uh, it's getting
(01:35):
too close for comfort. Now, when you say the Repinhart
for Trump, what do you mean. I just mean I'm
seeing more signs, more flags. Listen, I And if you're
in the South, I'm sorry. But the one thing my
main thing I hate about visiting the South is Confederate flags.
And I always like, oh, that gun. You couldn't do
(01:57):
that in Omaha, like somebody would come and write that down.
Can't man these Trump flags? And to me, the Trump
flag is the Confederate flag. If anybody wants to fight me,
meet me at the Planet this parking lot, because I
will fight you over that. It's the Confederate flag. To me,
that's our Confederate flag. Nebraska's Confederate flag is the Trump
And you just see it's just too much. It's just
(02:20):
too much on people's cars. I just can't stand it less.
But you see more. What what are you talking about? Well,
I mean since he enacted all those well not enacted,
but since he Yeah, Amber, I wrote a book. You'll
(02:40):
never believe what happened to Lacey. Crazy stories of racism.
So no, I am not surprised. Okay, okay, Lacy, I'm
an eternal optimist. I can't hope it. You are you
so are How are we related? How are we relating? Yeah? Yeah,
because you're like, oh, in fact, it did that happened? Yes,
(03:01):
it did, Okay, it happened. I have to say this.
When he won the first time, I was like, he's
not winning and I went to bed. I got woken
up and they were like, I think he's gonna win.
I was like, shut up, I'm going to sleep. And
then I woke up and he had one and don't
you know, the very same thing, the very same thing.
(03:24):
I was watching the olectually. I was like, you know,
I don't like the way this is going, but I'm
sure it's going to be fine. I'm going to bed,
and woke up he was president. Like my good man, Yeah,
the same thing happened to me. I was at a party.
We were all watching. We had all this different food
(03:45):
with different hilarious Trump names on it, like the build
a wall, dip, all this crazy stuff, and then the
party just got worse and worse worse, and everybody left.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
And we were like, is this really gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Next morning, my daughter called and I said just tell me,
and she's like, he's president, and now I had a
party at my house. Uh everybody. When it started, we
were like whoa. And in the middle of it, my
daughter's friend Cameron was like, this is happening, and I go, Cameron,
he's not going to get elected. We're fine. Oh man,
(04:23):
oh man, that twizzle. I was lying. And even when
I told Cameron, Cameron, I'm sorry for you're listening, I
felt like he was going when I said, I'm just
trying to give that chiuse a boat. Oh, I was
trying to give him one more day. But yeah, I lied.
And now this is where we're at. I just there.
I don't When I saw the people, when I saw
(04:47):
the immigrants changed together at the waist being loaded onto
a plane, I was just like, oh all at not
like that, not like that has never happened, but just
like to see it. Then you have to go the
rate at which this is going to happen. And then
(05:08):
the fact that they said, well, of course there will
be collateral arrests, meaning of course we're going to arrest
the wrong people. Bitch y'all been doing that. You ain't
got bit under control. Yeah, still you still have guns
and you're still doing collateral arrest You gotta figure something out.
(05:30):
I don't know. I mean, who's whose liberties are Important's
fucking You can just be like, well, it's okay, will
falsely arrest some people, but a couple they're just brown,
so it's fine, does not matter, it does not matter.
They're probably going we arrest the wrong black guy twice
(05:51):
a day the same he's the guy. Remember, our friend
Robert had bought this. He had like the best classic
Cadillac Bear, yeah and Bear, and he had a couple
of cars, and he said, every time I drive this car,
(06:13):
I get pulled over. He goes, so I only take
it out for like a fun ride, and he said,
I usually get pulled over twice twice a day when
I'm driving it around. And I just was like, really,
but no, yeah, yeah, people are gonna be getting stopped,
pulled over, arrested out here upstate where I live. Every
(06:35):
I've lived up here for three years. Every and I'm
not exaggerating, every time someone gets pulled over, I look
and see and they're black, every single time. And now
i drive like one of those Coplikan cars. So I've
never been pulled over ever since I got that car.
I'm like, God, damn, this car was the cheekode. Oh
(06:56):
you have is get a car that looks like there's
a cop in it, and you will not be getting
pulled over. Yeah. This is the first car that I've
had in a while that doesn't have tinted windows. And
this big oldhead. I can't hide now, I can't Ie,
they can see me. What if I told you the
tinted windows are part of it. I know, but at
(07:19):
least they can't see see you. Yeah, they can see
you coming. Yeah, but if they see you and they
know you're a girl, then you're a teeny bit safer.
Oh my god's true. That's a sad thing to say, Lacey.
It's true. It's true. Damn I met that ship too. Okay, Lacy,
we're talking about the news. Okay, okay, okay, no more,
(07:40):
no more, Okay, now, can you please that Robert death
Kennedy said, Oh God.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I was gonna call you yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And time, but I ran out and told mom and Dad,
I go, okay, Robert, you're Kennedy interested, we were the
strongest of the strong, and that black people need to
be put on a different vaccine schedule than white people. Yeah,
what if that mean different vaccine schedule. Did you see
the black woman that was questioning. She took her glasses off,
she goes, well, what schedule would you put me on?
(08:17):
It was she got him so good, and he was
mumblier than usual. He was stunning. He was like, well
stop it couldn't get it out. I mean, my god,
Black people need different vaccines, and you know what that
shit does. It just makes black people less likely to
(08:41):
take the vaccine, which is you're already in danger of it. Also,
I mean, didn't they use us for experiments? Yes? So
now I are just facing everyone's But you're all, this
is not the superhero story that I wanted. I love superheroes,
but that's not the kind of superhirl I want to be.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I don't need vaccines.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I mean, then if you think our immune systems are stronger,
then are we getting colds? Just answer me that. Do
I get three colds every winter? Or do I have
a very healthy immune system? What is it? Because I
have a cold right now, having night will and I
(09:28):
got the extra immune system? What a fucking idiot? What
do you keep black people keep robotusting in business?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
My dad just told me, let's not take some robotussing now, what.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I'm saying, you have a hole. We if black people
have better immune systems, we you would. I mean, I
see what he's starting about. Black people don't call into work.
But it's not because we're not sick. It's because our
classes a bitch, so we can't call unto work. Oh
(10:03):
my god, But Lacy, we're not gonna talk about the
news today. That's not what this episode is about. It's
not what the episode. This episode is about. You know.
Now I do have to talk about this, which cracked
me up. They were asking Kennedy, are you an anti vaxxer?
(10:26):
Absolutely not, you know, a million people asked him, absolutely not,
absolutely not. What Bernie Sanders was like, so let me
get this straight. You're not an anti vaxxer and he
said no. On Kennedy's website, he has the baby onesies
that are like, I won't get any vaccines. I can't
remember what was on the baby's onesies. There were several
different little phrases. It was the best thing ever, because
(10:47):
then why is this on you? What? Why is this
on your website? And he just was like, silence is
not an answer. I'm gonna need you to speak. I
need you to tell me yeah. I mean, the best
information hearing had to be Oh dang, what's that guy's name?
Had to be? The guy kept being like I love beer. Okay,
(11:09):
is that a crime? That was hilarious. That man's name
is Brett Kevin of Yes, that ship was hilarious because
oh I do hate that guy's goods. You know how,
sometimes you learn just one extra bit of information about
someone and then their whole personality falls into place. Like
(11:32):
I used to have this and I still do. I
go to this massage guy sometimes for massages and he's
just like extremely beautiful, chocolate man, filled with themselves. I'm
going somewhere, so then he goes. I'm like, what is
(11:54):
his deal? Why does he why does he seem like
a hippie? But then he's also like comically gorgeous? What's
missing here? And then one day he was like, oh man,
it's hot in here, and he unzipped his hoodie and
had a Nauruto T shirt on, and I was like,
there we go. That's what was very Yeah, all right,
(12:15):
you're a nerd. Your nerd, you don't know, you just
see you're just a little idiot. I love that guy.
I shouldn't say idiot. He's very Those are the best.
Those are the best guys to find that don't know.
It's hard to find a gorgeous man that doesn't know
he's gorgeous. Yeah, I don't know. Those are the ones
you want to keep. But he's also a nerd. But hey,
look that's not my flavor anymore. You can keep it.
(12:40):
I see, I see what you're going for. I think
it's great. Keep it. No thanks, but yeah, so am
I gonna be able to get married or not? That's
a hard absolutely not. Your wedding will be in I
don't know. Look up a look up the country. That's
(13:01):
where you guys gotta live. I don't know. Oh man, Yeah,
we might not be able to get married for a while.
Destination Ready, don't go to Mexico. You were talking about
visiting Mexico. You're not gonna be able to come back,
So don't go to Mexico. Just just telling you, telling
me to help smuggle you back across. I cannot ship.
(13:25):
I get stuck over there. I'll be like, whip you
living there. That's where you're doing a podcast from. Shoot,
I'll be fine. Maybe you could be fine. Yeah, just
give me a couple of months to get down with
the language. I'm gonna have it. I'm gonna have it. Fine, Okay,
we're not going to talk about the news, but no,
(13:46):
you know what, we should go to break and then
when we come back from break, Lacy, we're not ever
going to mention the news again. Mus Again, that's not
even what this podcast is, guys. This is light and
fun with like quick glances at society but also like
goofing around. Okay, this isn't a hardcore news podcast, all right,
No it's not. So get that ship somewhere. Okay, we
(14:13):
love you, and we'll be right back with more of
the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. So stick around. Hey, everybody,
(14:35):
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacy Lacy
and Amber Show. This episode is not about the news,
so technically we haven't even come back from break yet.
So what I want to say is this, So what
you what you're talking about? Non binary people just don't
use trimp. I mean, they just non binary people who
(15:05):
don't exist here, just erase and everything everything. Oh lord,
like why so to what end? And now what he's
doing is I just am really terrified that now people
are going to just start getting fired from their drowns.
I mean d I already did did that, but just
(15:28):
oh Sam is queer, I can fire him because of that. Yeah,
this is happening. Yes, this is going to be so scary.
When Markus Zuckerberger was like, you can make fun of
people for being queer and you can call it a
mental illness, I was like, what is happening? But also
(15:52):
for the people that think that that does not affect them, please,
So now it's going to be like, hmmm, Lacy is black,
Sarah should have had her job. Now we can fire
Lacey because Sarah is white and Sarah is better. Yeah,
and that can be the excuse say right down. So
people that are like I'm not queer, if that doesn't
affect me, m wow, they're going to make that jump soon.
(16:15):
It never occurred to me that because they're getting rid
of DEI, they can go back and undo all of
the jobs that d I did and they'll make it up.
Even if someone wasn't hired because of their color. Yes,
what you were, you're black, you're out, you got a job.
Get worried, Yeah, really get worried. Yeah, if you're a woman,
(16:35):
get worried. If you're of any other race. You're not
a white straight male. Get worried, Get worried, and I mean, yikes,
it's yikes, lace, It's pretty yikes. But again, this is
another thing that cracks me up. Everything that is wrong
in the world is because of Deires. You can't just
say this service. You can't say that, what.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Are you saying?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
This business terrible because they fired too many? Did you
know that? For sure? What I need him to do
whenever he complains about something being terrible because of Dia Hires,
I needs exactly what you're talking about. Show their face,
show their face, show their thanks. I'm okay. You think
this is another thing Trump? You think this many black
people are running things.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Have you ever been in any corporation? Black people are
running everything you think people have still are running.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
We're not, sir. Most corporations did you walk into are
being run by white man And that is one hundred
percent fact. That is a fact. So if you think,
all of a sudden, so you think black people are
just running the run in the United States right now,
you think d I did all that, it did not. Yeah,
we fine, go ahead and think that, lord. And then
(17:49):
also when you say that you're saying white people don't
make mistakes. You're saying, you're saying, because this failed, not
only are all black people or people of color running things,
but if a white person had been running this, there
would have been nothing, because it would have been perfect.
Listen to yourself. Yeah, and then the people caught in
(18:10):
the middle, like, at some point somewhere, some white person
will have made a mistake that should cost them their job,
but they'll have the option of blaming Lamont, and they
were not. And then Lamont's gonna get fired even though
he didn't do shit. He didn't do nothing. I mean, yeah,
that's not Lamar got hired after that mistake happened. He
(18:32):
didn't even he wasn't even there when I must stay happen.
You know how good Lamar look, first of all, graduated
bar for Percy's job. Have a lightning pie. He didn't
do anything better than Percy Jackson and the lightning they did.
Oh wait, Percy's black too, Sorry, dude, it's look, none
(18:58):
of that matters today to day. We're talking about our
favorite ice creams. Oh yeah, yeah, speaking of ice creams,
Ben and Jerry's Girl and Jerry's is dead serious they're like, hah,
(19:24):
let's organize. Yeah, it's pretty cute. Also, there's like on TikTok,
there's like my TikTok, what the algorithm is serving me
is like people all over the world are protesting what's
happening in America and it's not being shown on TikTok
(19:45):
and Twitter because they're, you know, making sure to suppress that. Also,
everyone's gonna and there's like this facet of TikTok that's
like we're all gonna rebel everyone everywhere or January twenty ninth,
we're all going to take to the streets. And it's
(20:05):
like what, no, no, not, what are you talking about?
When what? But it is there's just like this like
sensationalism that is so very much on both sides that
it's like, oh man, I thought only they did that,
but now it's us. It's them being like migrants are
(20:28):
coming to kill your kids, and now we're all like,
we're all gonna get guns and flip out. But it's like,
I mean that's not I mean they're saying we're gonna
get guns. We're not saying yeah yeah yeah, but I
mean I'm getting again. But nah, that's not I Amber,
I have to disagree with you. I'm ready to protest
in the streets. If they call me for the protest,
(20:50):
I'm in the streets protest. I'm ready to in the streets.
I love protesting in the streets. But sometimes it's real
and then sometimes it's sometimes it's not. Yeah, I I
am not a TikToker. I don't even know if that's
how you say it. I'm not a Tiktokian. I'm not
part of Tiktopia. I don't know how to TikTok I
(21:12):
don't know what that is. I don't know what it is.
And I'm proud of that. So I didn't have to
cry when it got canceled. I didn't know anything about that.
I barely do Instagram. But I did join Blue Sky
and I found you on there. Hi, I forget I
found you on Blue Sky because I thought, oh, everybody's
going to go to Blue Sky. All I have people
(21:34):
that I'm repping on is my Facebook page. I'm Facebook
and I'm now a Blue Skyaton, a Blue Skyathean. I'm
in blues guy, soopia, I see you're doing. See that's
(21:54):
a lot for me to just find Blue Sky. Yeah,
I like it. I think you didn't great. I think
I'm doing good too, Lacy Milder Ruffin. I mean, I
feel like everything is bad, and it's starting so far outside.
Like the very first people are non binary, Like that's
(22:18):
the first people where he was like, Hey, everybody fuck
these people, right, yuck, Like that's first. So then I
feel like he's working from the smallest group of people.
And then now it's people who are in the country illegally.
That's bigger. Then it's gonna be bussing it. Oh d e,
I right, and that's that's code for everyone who's not
(22:42):
white man, and he just I think also, there's got
to be some type of special ID that you can have.
Oh and we'll never get it what and they're going
to find excuses why we don't have the ID. But
there's going to be a special ID. And I don't
know what it is. This is happening, Mark my words.
I bet you when the I D comes out, you
(23:04):
owe me one hundred dollars, okay, one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, it's gonna be a special ID. It's gonna mean something.
You'll be able to go a certain place without it.
Mm hmmmm mmmmmm. No, Okay, pallette cleanse palate cleans right now. Okay,
let's slide into my d MS or slide out. Hey,
what's the song? Slide out of my DM, slid out
(23:38):
of my slide out of Moth's sorry, that's what missing man.
We we missed our calling. We should have had a band. Okay,
So first I ask this question, how long should you
(24:03):
wait or do you wait to meet someone? Listen, there
is no exact number. You get a feeling for someone,
and listen. If there is a tiny little red flag,
you don't meet that person. I've had friends that are like, oh,
he seemed kind of odd, but I met him anyway. No, no,
because that's your body telling you this ain't right. We
(24:24):
have intuition for a reason. I'll get right off of
an elevator if someone steps on. I've done it a
million times. You're like, that's rude. Don't care. I got
a bad vibe from that person. You ain't closing or
doraor on me. And now I'm in a closet with you.
I'm in a closet with you. Yeah, ladies, get off
the elevator. Do what you gotta do. I protect yourself.
So no, I'm not going to If I feel odd
(24:44):
about someone aunt, I always go to the same place Amber.
Where is it on my first date? Say it Mantra.
I go to Mantra. I know the staff. Sometimes I'm like,
I'm on a date. I'm on a first day, So
you got my back. Yeah, go to the same place.
Those people don't know all. I can run out. It's
got a small parking lot, get in my card, take off.
(25:05):
So yeah, it just totally depends. Sometimes it's been weeks,
sometimes it's been months, Sometimes it's been days. It's all
the vibe that I get from. I need to find
out as much information from you as possible before I
go on a first date with you. Yeah, and it's
not a lot, believe me, few and far between. I
see you gets to a point where we're gonna meet.
(25:26):
I'm not picky. There's no one there. That's what I
keep it. You're saying that I'm picky. There's no None
of my friends are going on dates. When we go
on a date, everyone gets on the chat. We're like,
show us what he looks like, what's he going? Where
are you guys going? What? And then we just wait,
baited breath till after the date. There's no where. No
(25:49):
one's going on all these dates everyone. Yeah, no one's
doing this. There's no one left. There's no one out there.
You know who's out there? It women are when you
are out there, I know they are. Then get yourself
a big old step. Okay, let me read my first DM.
(26:16):
It's been a while, yay, so, oh my gosh, I've
got to get my picture ready. M m mmm. And
I can fully show this picture okay, Okay. I was
scared you wouldn't be able to show it. Oh, you're
gonna laugh when you see it. So a pick was
sent to me and he said, what are you looking for? Okay?
Not this? Oh no, you're in a You're in a
(26:37):
bloody hockey You're in a bloody hockey mask with your
shirt off. I didn't even respond for fear that I
might be found and you'll kill me. What am I
looking for? Now? I can say, not, you fool? Fuck?
Why would that be here? I'm looking to survive And
it's only picture. Who's responding to you? Who? That's your profile? Sure?
(27:00):
Who's going on a date with you? Survives the baseline? Yeah,
so he's wearing a hockey masks, shirtless and there's blood
on the hockey world. You know, probably not real blood, hopefully,
I don't know. That's worse than the guy standing in
the grave asking me out. The picture of the man
(27:22):
standing in the grave asking you on a date is
the fucking funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.
It's pretty funny. We can't show you everything. We could
show you just one thing that would be it. But
the fact that he looked like Andre three thousand, that
(27:44):
was the best because everyone was like, oh, he looked
like No, he didn't look like what you thought he'd
looked like. No, Flord, I'll tell you, okay. So yeah,
that's what's out there. This is why I'm not going
on dates. This is why I'm not out there. I'm
glad you didn't go on a date with that guy.
I shared that picture. Boy, we were laughing and laughing.
(28:04):
That is more now than norm You think I'm joking.
They're all that terrible and different levels, they're all that bad,
all that bad. Okay. The other one says I got
a DM and all it said was high. I mean,
I prefer a sentence, but at this point you're not
going to get a sentence. You're not even gonna get
a hello, how are you? That's rare. Sometimes it's just
(28:28):
thumbs up, it's a it's a I don't know some
type of emoji, and you're like, sir, you're fifty. You're fifty.
You're answering emails at work, so I know you can speak.
So I got a high, which is the equivalent of hello,
how are you today? So I was like, okay, So
I said hello, how are you? What are you up
(28:49):
to today? And he messaged me back, It's Friday. That
was it, okay, not I'm doing well, how are you?
You just said it's Friday. Okay. So I was like,
not interested, don't care, and I just left. I didn't
delete it. Been an hour later he said, listen, if
you don't want to build with me, just say so.
I'm looking for a queen. What I don't Where did
(29:10):
we go? You said three words? You said three words.
If I don't want to build with you, I don't.
If I don't want to build, I gotta be your
fucking second grade teacher. You can't make a complete sense.
I gotta teach you the what a fucking predicate is? No,
(29:30):
I gotta build your vocabulary. Build. So Jesus, remember hooks
on phonic, hooked on phonic works it worked for me.
That just escalated a little quickly. Yeah, that made me mad.
He said, listen, if you don't want to build with me,
what don't we What just happened? What just happened? Did
(29:51):
you message to the right person do? Did you message
to the right person building? Oh? Okay, okay. So another
guy messaged me, hey cutie. Hate that, I hate it,
but okay said hello, said hey cutie. And I went
and read his profile, and I said, oh, I just
(30:14):
read your profile and saw that you were a pro Trump.
No thank you? Oh wait, wait is this person black?
You know? He was God bless America? And so he said,
and I've been waiting for this one to tell you
this one. When will you all learn that if you're
not with a Trump supporter, you won't survive. He is
(30:37):
cleaning out the vermin. Hold up, so I said, sir,
you are the vermin. He is referring to vermin means
anyone that's not white. I'll send you the map to
the underground railroad. Boy, sir, you're not gonna make it.
(30:58):
I just did you not hear me say? Everyone's going
to have some type ID. You're not getting it. Oh my,
you're not getting it. I can't believe it. So he's oh,
like he thinks he said, that's cleaning out the vermin.
What's vermin? I need to know your whole backstory, but
I don't care enough to find but I would like
to know how did you get there? I mean, technically
(31:21):
he might not be wrong, because technically Trump could do anything.
He could throw everyone into the Grand Canyon. We don't know,
but I do know this. Then, black Trump supporters are
not going to survive. You will not be a brain.
You won't survive. You won't like a white Trump loyalist,
at least you have like a I see what you
(31:44):
will likely benefit. Socially, you will definitely be taken for
every dollar you have, but socially you might benefit. But
a black Trump supporter, I feel like you either is
not your club. It's not your club. It's not for you.
It's not for you. It's not for you. But I
(32:04):
also don't think this is just like when people were like,
there was a doctor who said the vaccines are bad,
So I believe the doctor. That's one doctor, and then
everybody else is wrong. So everyone's wrong except one person.
And that's why I feel about black people. For Trump,
so ninety nine percent and it's less than that. But
(32:25):
most black people are wrong. And then you you found
the secret. You found it, you smarter discovered it black people,
all right. I do think that's a little bit of
people being like, well, white people's ideas are more valid
than Black people's ideas. Don't get me started, because we're
(32:47):
not talking about the news black self hate in America.
We're not talking about the news. No, we're not talking
about the news. We're not talking about social issues. We're
talking about that picture getting scared of myself. I saw that,
I am the stea mask. What is happening? What a scary,
scary picture? I don't why why did he put that
(33:08):
on his profile? And why did you think? Someone was like, oh,
what's behind that bloody mask? You know, sir, you're going
to hurt me. And he's like, you saw my mask.
That's why you in this, That's why you in my dungeon.
But you came on a date anyway, You showed me
who you were, and think I thank you for that.
Don't come on here wearing a suit with your hair doune.
It's a fresh cut when you're a Jason Mask man. Yeah,
(33:31):
wear that mask, wear the mask. That is exactly who
you are. I had a dating profile for two minutes.
Did you have your shirt off with bloody mass and
had a bloody mask. But I one of my pictures
was me making the space. It was the feel. But
(33:56):
it's because I didn't want to lie. Because if you
think that I'm going to be serious or glamorous, you've
been fooled. Amber is going to be fart jokes and
part the bonnet. She's fart jokes with the bonnet. But
that's who you're gonna get. That's right, and that's someone's speed.
But you know, just like Jason Mask guy, I didn't
(34:18):
want to lie. I'm goofy and some woman my messaging
back with her Jason mask on and then oh that's
a match made in heaven. That's right. He's like, I'll
meet you in the forest and she's like, not if
I they fall in love. One of the chances that
both of them are serial killers. It's rare, but it
can happen. And then that cancels each other out. Yeah,
(34:39):
and then they both survive. Then they both survived, definitely doing. Okay,
I think it's time for sister Court. Oh yay, are
you ready ready, Sister Cord the sister is weird. Sisters enter,
they talk about your emails that you sent in and
(35:03):
they rained down over it because we're both the judge
this time, yay, is that this court got two judges
and we're gonna have to fool on you. So come
into this courtroom. If you won't, if you want to
be a part of this courtroom, please email us at
Amber and Lacy Advice at gmail dot com. Please do.
(35:27):
I just want to say cookie to you. I say,
shut up? Okay everyone this first one. Now I also
need to say, who in the hell chosy Sister Court,
because it's just gonna everyone is going to make you angry. Okay, Amber,
I read did you read through these? I didn't. Everyone
(35:48):
got a theme. Everyone got a theme. And I'm we're
gonna talk about this later though. Okay, Okay, my husband,
this is the first one. My husband keeps putting and
leaving his dirty dish is in the sink, no matter
how many times I ask them to put them in
the dishwasher instead of putting a dish down in the
damn sink. It's one more step to open up the
(36:09):
dishwasher door and put his dirty dishes in the rack.
When the dishes pile up in the sink at the
end of the day, it drives me nuts. And guess
who has to now spend a full ten minutes loading
up the machine? Me? Please don't send me to the slammer. Yes,
I'm mad. What am I supposed to do? How do
you balance out the house responsibilities? Okay, this is what
I'm going to tell you. Oh are you going to
(36:30):
go amber? Yes? Okay, this woman is married to me,
And I'm sorryeel bad because this is exactly what I'm doing.
It's right there. The dishwasher is right there. It's right there.
I can see the dish washer and put it right God,
(36:50):
thiss is on the counter. These are dishes. I'm never
going to wash them. All they have to do is
go think not gonna do it. I'm sorry, I'm bad. Okay,
first of all, now I'm even more upset. No, if
you don't put them damn dishes in the dishwashers, you
know what I'm gonna be pety. I'm covering up the sink.
(37:11):
I'm covering up the sink during the day, block of wood.
And then I'm gonna put a big old note on
there full if you don't put these dishes in this dishwasher. Now, Yeah,
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Man, What do
you think I'm gonna see what happens? Then you gotta
put one dish in the bed, just to let him
know you mean business. What I was gonna say? That
one on his pillow, Just one, the dirtiest one on
(37:33):
his pillow. Yeah, you only need to. I mean we're
going mafya here. You know, the horse head under the covers.
You only gotta do that once. Yeah, dried up bowl
of chili right there, that man. That man didn't act
up a free saw that horse head. You're about to
see some stuff in places that you should not. Yeah, okay,
you're about to see something. You getting your car in
(37:54):
the work in the morning, all the dishes are next
to you. They're now in the passenger seat packed up again.
Up and what a sign? Act up again. I don't
have time for this. We're both adults, and that's how
I feel now. Also, a thing you can do is
find out what he likes to do. And then have
(38:14):
him do it so much that it evens out you're
having to build. Like. The reason I am so bad
is I will do all the laundry. I'll do it all,
don't care. I love it. I love doing the laundry.
I think it's good. It's good for me. I love it.
So I mean, if the other person doesn't mind, then
I'm okay with that. But if they mind, that's true,
(38:34):
you better act right. They see I say they're guilty, Well,
their spouses guilty. Yeah, their spouse is guilty, and you
tell them that I said that. Okay, And if they
have any problem with me, you know where they can
give me a planet fitness. I'll be there all day
today because I'm starting some stuff. I gotta beat ski
mass guy there. I got so many be busy.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Today, Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Our next one says breakfast question. My husband and I
both work full time jobs. I am not a breakfast person,
and I'm more than happy having some yogurt or a
piece of fruit. However, my husband says he likes a
full breakfast with potatoes, bacon, eggs, and toast, and he
expects me to make it for him. He wants me
(39:22):
to cook him one of these big breakfasts at least
twice a week and on the weekends. I don't want
to wake up early to make this since I don't
like eating heavy foods in the morning. Who is being
unreasonable me or him? Well, I would say your slave
owner is being perfectly reasonable because you're his' Wait a second,
(39:43):
they're married. I'm sorry, you gotta be have your full
fucking mind. If you think I'm awake, my ass up.
I mean, what is she to him? And I mean
that what are are you to him? Are y'all? Do
you you? What is this? Are you a kept woman?
(40:07):
Because if you're a kept woman, then do it. She
just says she works a full time job. She works
a full time job. She said, my husband and I
both work full time job. Stop right there, whatever you're
about to say, I'm for you. I don't got time.
I don't got time for that. We can share. I'm
all for cooking for someone. I don't mind that, but
(40:30):
I'm not going to be the one serving you every
day over and over and over again. We're going to
share some responsibilities. That's it. I mean, that's on the surface.
On a deeper level, why don't you take a look
at the man you married and what your relationship is,
because do you need to beat his ass? Look, I
(40:54):
don't think anyone should be beating up people they're married to.
But I'll do it for you. Send him the Planet
Fitness again. I gotta. I'm gonna have a line. Send
him the planet fitnis on name something to meet me.
I'm going with the big hair. Yeah, I got I
got a pink tanked up on today. I got time today,
I got time. She'll be there, she'll be I'll be there. Okay,
(41:15):
So he's guilty. He's guilty. It's twenty twenty five. That's
what we should have just said. It's twenty twenty five,
and just moving on. They can figure out Google talking
about Google women doing all the housework twenty twenty five.
That would have answered your question. Also, if you not
even go eat it, he's the only one who's hungry.
Hungry people feed themselves, so you must not be that
(41:37):
fucking hungry. I'm hungry. I go to the kitchen and
I feed myself food, or I go what that's too bad,
I'm lazy, And then I don't. But what I do
was make it someone else's problem. I did that last
night I woke up. I was so hungry, but I
was like, I can't. I don't feel like going into
the kitchen to cook anything. I didn't. That's right, and
(41:58):
that's a good die. That's a great dietziness that was motivated.
I'd be so heavy. I'm just not willing to do it.
All Right, here we go. Here is our next Oh, guilty,
he's guilty. Guilty. We don't have time for this. In fact,
he's going to prison. Ten years is ten year prison sentence. Okay,
(42:21):
I want to big Trump gonna bail about. Though Trump's
gonna bail about you actually end up in jail. Message
O lord, Okay, all right. Our next one is how
do I handle my friend? This is for Amber. Amber.
Let you know right now. How do I handle my
friend who sends invitations adult to adult only parties in
(42:41):
which their kids are still there. Twice we've recently had
invites that said adult only. Everyone who got invited paid
for a babysitter, and then when we arrived, we learned
that the host two younger kids would be joining us.
I don't really want to go through all this trouble
getting a babysitter just to go to a place and
there's still kids there. How should I handle this? Next time?
(43:02):
My friend invites us, Oh, what the book? What are
the kids doing? I want to be there with you?
And yeah, Marcia, you should ask for that promotion. What
are they doing? Kids can't be at a at the
part out, No, be a nosy. You only have sex
with your husband once a month.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
They don't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Really doesn't need to know that.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
No, we ain't gonna give me no advice on that.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Send them to their room. Also, you got my hopes
up here. I am thinking I have a child free
night and act a fool, act crazy. But inside they
don't want to see me dancing to back that ass
of They don't They don't want to hear it. They're
going to be a part of it. They're gonna learn today.
Oh I love it. Yeah, and their kids are still there.
(43:52):
I have That's happened to me quite a few times.
Happened to me quite a few times. Kidding yeah, and
then their kids are there. I don't understand it happened
to me where people have brought their kids. It's different
if someone asks, hey, I don't have a sitter, can
I bring? Then you're aware. When you think that it's
adults only and then someone walks in with their kids,
(44:13):
whole vibe goes down. Yeah, whole vibe. But this mouth
what I'm about to say. Now, I gotta censor myself.
I always let people know they can bring their kids
to my house. But first of all, my house is dangerous.
Amber's house is just a bunch of sharp edges, sharp
edges and height. Yep. You if you wanted to enjoy life,
(44:38):
you can do it inside. Don't be at Amber's house
and be depressed. You just jump off the flares. You're done.
You're done. You're done. It's really and you could also
enjoy life on an accident if you ended up falling
down with things. None of this is to regulation. Nothing's regulation.
Hyping cliff over your kitchen and I leaned over it
once and thought this is a bad idea. It was
shrying to be funny. No, it could have fallen and die. Yeah,
(45:01):
and you can fall anywhere in here and at least
break your neck. Yeah, but uh yeah, don't. I don't know.
I feel like, well, I tell people, if you bring
your kids here, there are several places for them to
die inside and outside the house. I wouldn't do it,
but you can. I mean, bring them here, but I
must stay wild running around toddler at your house. If
(45:25):
you ever had an unruly toddler, they wouldn't make it.
I have never had like a okay because w h
I t e toddler here? They like they wanted that,
like the run. They don't want to really like the room.
And they were three. They're perfectly fine. They sat on
(45:47):
the corner like this, They're like around, I'm not embarrassing
my mom today. M m no. But it also has
happened as people have brought their kids here and them
been like, oh, I got to rethink this because I
think most people have just like a big backyard that's
not a cliff trap. We don't have that. All we
(46:11):
have is danger. You can't even be too drunk over here.
Not really, you can't get as drunk as you want.
Remember when you had too many people on your deck
and I stepped off and I wished everyone well because
I thought that deck was going to fall down. I
didn't love none of all that day. I was like,
peace out, I'm out, yeah, but I was drunk. I
was like, tell my story. Remember when there was a uh,
(46:37):
the earthquake. No, remember the well the earthquake in New York. Yeah, youself.
And I was at your home. I went right to
the door because I thought this house is going to
fall into the ocean, gonna die. Okay, well, all right,
I think it's time for a break. Okay everyone, we're
going on a break and we will be right back
with the Amber and Lacy Lacey and Amber Show. Hey, everybody,
(47:09):
we're back with more of the Amber and Lacey Lacy
and Amber Show. Today's topic is ice cream or some lie.
It's fucking news. It'snooze. Oh my god. Every time I
look at anything, it's terrifying. I don't like this. I
don't want to do this anymore. I don't like it.
We want it. Okay, hold on, we just got back
(47:30):
from break. We did not give a verdict on inviting
your children to an adult's only party. Oh it's guilty.
Everyone is guilty. Do you not bring your children? We're
not joking. Mostly she does not want to bring your children.
She brought her children to an adult who no, no, no,
I'm saying they're guilty. Yeah, they're guilty. You're innocent. And
she said, what should she do? The next time her
(47:51):
friend invites her. We didn't give her the advice don't go.
You don't want to hang around children all night? Don't go?
What can you do? Can't you just ask her because
it's going to be there, or is this really an
adult's only party? You're absolutely right? Give a slight hint. Yeah,
and then maybe show understand it's very bold to be
like or roll up with your children. I will fight
(48:12):
it out to the end, fight it out. There's only
one true child give give the meat your storm. Yeah right, okay,
and that is sister Court. We are the best someone
put on here. Again. We need to have a meeting
(48:33):
after this. We like to do a segment call that's rank?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Were we right?
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Did you see what was on that? That's right? I
did it, says favorite super Bowl snacks. I have never,
in my long life watched the Super Bowl. The fact
that y'all thought that I knew anything about sports, it's
hilarious to me. Amber have you ever watched a Super Bowl?
I have the whole thing, from start to finish. No, no, okay,
(49:00):
absolutely not. But okay, so let's go ahead, go ahead.
People In the middle of the super Bowl, they sing
a song and I watched that. Of course, that's the
best part that LA see. I did watch a super Bowl.
I went, you went, You went to a super Bowl. No, no,
you were there. I was just about to say, you
(49:22):
were there and you did watch it, But what did
you eat? Six hot bags? Did you really eat six?
I feel like it was more. And I need you
to know no one in the world loves hot dogs
more than Amber fucking love hot dogs. Geez. If I
was having a super Bowl party, these are the things
that I would have for my guests. Okay, I would
have pizza, and I'm just gonna go ahead and buy
(49:44):
a Godfather's Pizza. That's gonna be my excuse. Yeah, Godfather's
Pizza combo. And then I would probably have nachos and
chicken wings. I feel like that's a good Super Bowl variety. Yes,
I would have several dips, as many dips as you
can have. There would be like a dip area where
we would have French onion. We would have guacamole, we
(50:06):
would have kaeso, have as many dips as we can
think of, hummus because people love to get dippy. Then
I would you know what I look for whenever I
get to someone's party, especially if it's a super Bowl party,
where again I'm only there to socialize. Yeah, I feel
(50:29):
like lots of times it's a bunch of food I
really don't like. And then I look for those little
sausages that are in clamber. Now is that I know
I can eat it? Barbecue sausages, they see they are.
If you have that, you do have baby sausage. And
(50:50):
that's just those two things go together. What are those
things called little smokies? Little smokies. Absolutely, I'm not eating
the little smokies. I hate barbecue sauce. You know this
about me. I hate it with the passion. Also, at
my party, there's got to be a second room. And
I'm not kidding. I'm not watching the super Bowl. So
there's gonna be a music room. Yeah, it's gonna be
(51:12):
old school. It's gonna be nineties R and B. I'm
just saying, you don't open it up. You gonna hear
anything you gonna hearn. It's gonna be older than you
gotta hear Luther Na a Baker. Yeah, you go to
hear boys to men, that's right. And you can go
sit in that room and have fun. I'm not watching this.
I'll peek out every once in a while and make
sure everyone's eating good. You're not gonna get me sitting there.
I do not love sports. It's really hard to fake too,
(51:37):
because I cannot. It's a game, you said it. This
is a game. The game. Also, I was just out
with my friends and we were at a bar and
there was a game on. It was the Chiefs. People
that are watching games get a little too friend like,
I don't want that. I don't want that. And I
was pretending to cheer for the Chiefs because my friend
(51:58):
was so any you can get me to chair for anyone.
If we're sitting in a group and everyone is on
a team, I will I will rep that team. You
give me a sweatshirt, I'm gonna act like I'm on
the team. Yeah. So I go up to the bar
and this man amber nobody's from he put his hand
around my waist into him. Is he dead? Now? If
(52:24):
you're listening and you've been listening to this show, you
know that was the wrong thing to do. Stranger danger,
So I don't know you. We were pretty much the
same age, and I just grabbed his arm as hard
as I could, and I just removed it very firmly,
and he got he got the idea. Yeah, yes, America.
He pulled me in, he carressed me like we were davy. Yeah,
(52:48):
but he tried one more time. No. I was with
my friend Mikky. Yes. So we were sitting at a
table and you know the purse chair. We had our
purses on a chair, and we did that to block
people from trying to chit chat with us. We had
our own little group. He came down and he sat
directly on the first care No, and I said, oh no, no, no,
(53:10):
there's purses there. And he said relax, relax, yeah, and I, uh,
do you know what I said to him? Ever? What?
It's my thing that I always say, you know what,
I'm in a really bad place. Just get out of prison.
I'm in a really bad place. And he went and moved.
(53:31):
It's the best. It's the best line to say to someone.
They don't know what to say. Because you can tell
someone you're married. You can tell someone that's my wife
right there. They don't get No one wants to get
involved with you because the first thing they're thinking is
what does she do? Yeah, I don't want to get
involved with it. Yeah, so and that's how we ended
that night. Weird, no free, guys, I think we've done it.
(53:56):
I also think we've done it, so I think we
did it a lot of la today. We talked about
our feelings and we didn't talk about the news at all.
We never said one word about the news. And I'm
not the news show. No. Yeah, And you know what,
this is the friday before this episode goes live. So
who fucking no between here? Will we get our new
(54:21):
ID cards by then? We might? Will we still be legal?
Who knows? Oh my god? Well, we all have to
dye our hair blonde and straightened. Can you imagine? I mean,
I could. I gotta go buy my blonde wig now blond.
(54:41):
It would be pretty fun. Children, I have corns. Hey, everyone,
thanks so much for tuning into the Emma and Lacey,
Lacy and Amber Show. You can find Lacey at Lacy
Lamar one across all socials and why is that one? Well,
launch a messager and find out I'm Amber rough and
across all socials. And look, we all have to live
(55:04):
here in this country, so it's time for you to
look to your brother, to look to your siblings, say hey,
I'm willing to make this an unpleasant time for all
of us. Try me home. God bless Mierica The End
(55:31):
by The Amber and Lacey. Lacy and Amber Show is
a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sani. Super produced
(55:53):
by Becca Ramos. Because She's a Superhero co produced by
Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by
David Schmoll.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.