December 4, 2024 • 60 mins
Amber and Lacey chat love, roller skating, family trips, and Drake v. Kendrick. The ladiews are later joined by guest Dr. John Paul Higgins! They deep dive in cruising, Sister Court, the holidays, and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You know that our show is way better than the rest.
November and Lacy. Which one day you like best? It's
the Emperor and Lace. Say, let's say an Amber show.
You like Amber Moore, you like Lacey Lacy. Guys, Welcome
(00:24):
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy Number Show. Today's show
is about love. Okay. Each bit we're going to do
is special for bound.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hold on, hold on, yeah, my phone was ringing.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, hello, Yeah. They all called and said I'm the best. Sorry,
my phone off. Normally I turned my phone off during
the podcast. I'm so embarrassed. Guys, I never have my
phone ring They called me.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, go carry on.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Okay, this is the Amber and Lacy Lacy Amber Show.
I was in the middle of a lie about how
everything is about love and how it was for February fourteenth.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
But that's not true. Why did you say that?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, we'll never know, because you interrupted me while I
was trying to do a bit.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
That's not true. What I'm so sorry? Matter they do?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Oh my gosh, imagine like matter too late? You said
they do, so now you are. Now you're getting canceled.
Run alongside me. Maybe you go signed it too quick?
I did it I did it, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
How was your week? My week has been great?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Do you know what I've been thinking about all day
is when I do get back to New York City,
I need to go ice skating because somebody didn't go
with me last year.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I couldn't get one person who.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I know?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Did you if one did not go?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Will someone go ice skating with me?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Please ride in if you will go ice skate with me,
pul Amber, her number is no.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Five five five, Amby. I need to go ice skating.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
But if you will go ice skating with Lacey, you
should tweet at her Lacey, you stink.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
That way she'll know you want to go ice skating
with her.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And if lay I want to go ice skating with her,
say Lacey, you stink, and then she'll.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Know the difference. What she'll know the difference, She'll know
what you mean. I want to go ice skating so bad, Amber,
Why don't you want to? Can you ice skate? I
can ice skate? I don't think you can. I can
ice skate, I can roller skate. I can do it. Now.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
If I fill I do think my bones would shatter
like an old woman. And that's real. I do think
I'm one fall away from a broken bone. Hmm, okay,
we don't want that, but it's a pretty fun experiment.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh I should do it.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Also, I just like roller skating infinitely more than ice skating.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I love roller skating emactly vibe. You're indoors your wars,
you get a pickle, you need.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
To Oh you do Okay, now you've just want to
be over. Okay, but wait, when's the last time you've
been roller skating? And be honest, I.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Would say five years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh okay, then maybe you know how to roller skate
because I hadn't been in maybe ten years.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh boy. It was like I didn't know how to
roller skate anymore.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
It's not like getting on No, it's not like getting
back on a bike. I was wobbly like a baby deer.
And you know, I was the best. I was the
best roller skater in Omaha, Nebraska people. I'm not lying.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I was really good. It's true. And I was like,
what's happened to me?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Move it or lose it.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So now I gotta stay on my roller skating skills
because I'm back at it now. But it's not the same, yeah,
the same. Sorry, Lacey, I will not be joining the
roller derby? So could you do a roller derby? Could
you knock people down?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Here's the thing about roller skating.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I didn't lose any of my skill, but I lost
one thousand percent of the ability to move that much. Like.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I made one lap around and was like, God help me.
Couldn't do it? Yeah, what is that?
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I didn't want? We don't weigh that much. My ankles
were like, what am I holding up? That's all my
ankle said was if you don't sitch a fat ask
me you can't be holding up all it is too.
My ankles were just the only thing that hurt. I
was dying, and I was like, why can't I skate?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
What?
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Lacy and I are not big people? I don't know it?
Go as for as to call us small? Yeah, I
could not do it. My ankles gave out. My knees
were like, hey, I dare you. I dare you to
keep going. I got ten dollars to say, I'm about
to pop off you. I got your Nie said it
(04:59):
not and he you're about to pu pop off?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Money said sometimes you gotta pop off at show niggas
did we ever talk about oh that I'm dying Kendrick
(05:22):
Lamar and Drake Beef when it happened.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I don't think we did because we're all remember I
didn't know about it, and we sat and Amber made
us listen to every song in order because I didn't
know what was going on.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Listen, guys, and I listened to Anita Baker and Tony Braxton.
There's no way that I listened to all them songs.
I'm so sorry. So Amber explained to me what was
going on, played the songs, and then that's how I
found out.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, it was really fun, and I think everyone should
sit down and listen to all the songs in order.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Amber, can you quickly explain to people that are listening
that have no idea what There's still maybe five people
out there that don't know, and I don't want anyone
in the dark. While we're talking about this, what happened?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
And each other wrote a bunch of songs about it.
Who cares? These children are crazy.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
They had a little beef, they're upset.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
It was like if Amber and I and we Amber
and I always be writing distracts about each other.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Listen to the.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Beginning of these songs. Hey, this podcast a number one
long distrust we made to put our songs together and
call it the Amber Lazy Lazy Emberg Distract cause we
got some good ones.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
We do, really, because if you've listened to.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
This podcast enough, you know we be having distracts at
the beginning. So that's what the Kendrick Lamar and Drake thing.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Is, and that's why they should get it all out
in a podcast.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So, but how do you feel about Kendrick Lamar now
being on the What is he going to do the
Super Bowl?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What Kendrick Lamar?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yeah, it's gonna crash.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Why do I feel just a little bit like, oh no,
he's gonna.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Talk about drink come there and then.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I don't care about any of these people, but I
feel like, let it go.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
But he's not. He's gonna roast him on the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I mean to be fair. It's one of the best
songs of all time. Listen, it's really beautiful. It's just
beautiful work Amber. I have to say it, and Amber
gets mad when I when I say this. But the
funniest thing that I ever saw I was in Times Square.
There was this little children's choir singing.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And Seize the day. What is that from the newsies
that musical sees it? Imagine that being mixed with they
not like us? So it was like, and seize the day?
They not like us? They not like us? Why they
not like us? Has been mixed into everything everywhere. I
was crying real tears when I heard that. I was like, okay,
even the kids choir, yeah, singing Kendrick Lamar, like that
(08:01):
shouldn't happened, but it was funny.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Everyone Today on the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show,
we have a sweety sweety pie. We have doctor John
Paul Higgins. They are one of my favoritest people, just
like a very delightful baby who we love.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Got to stop calling people baby.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
But they don't a baby. They're so cute, cute little's
only because they're so cute. So we have doctor John
Paul Higgins. They are a podcast host, the Black Fat
Femme Podcast, and they have a book coming out that's
also called Black Fat fem revealing the power of visibly
(08:45):
queer voices in media and learning to love yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Ooh nice, So we love them. You're going to fall
in love with them too.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
In one minute right after these messages.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Hey, everybody, hold on to your butt. Swatch out.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Welcome back to the second Party, you ever Lazy Lacy
and Ambras show. Today's guest is our perfect Baby. They're
the creator, executive producer, and the host of the Black
Fat Fem podcast.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Please welcome, Doctor John Paul Higgins. We did it, Joe.
We well, we kind of did it. We only twenty five.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Jill.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Okay, hold on, hold up, Okay, okay, okay, okay, now, Amber,
let's hold our nails up.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Got it? Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Yes, So so I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. They
have they have a little bit it's like a tinge
of like a reddish brown, and then there's a gold line.
And I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. And then I know.
I didn't know we was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Doing nails today.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I didn't know because I really thought I'm a raggedy
but I knew ambers was gonna be always very terrible. Like,
look look at mine, just plain, just plain against is
okay to be playing in a world. Yes, but that's hair. Yes,
I look at everybody's hair.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
We did that. We all got the memory. Naturally, it's fluffy.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Watch out John bun Oh do people call you John
Bon because.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
You know you and I will hold on to that.
I will be I will John John, Yes, John you are.
Is it true that you wrote a book?
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Know it's it's It's a true thing. It's a real thing.
It is a tangible thing. It will be in You
can go to your local library, go to your black bookstore.
You can get it March twenty fifth. You can pre
order it, now, that is the thing I've been telling everyone.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Pre order it.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
Go to go to my website and there's like six
or seven different places you can click and you can
pre order it. But yes, March twenty fifth, twenty twenty five,
there will be a book with multiple pages that folks
can read from me.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I'm gonna be I'm gonna be selling some out of
my car.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wherever you need this book, I'm gonna be there. You
see Lacy Oh.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Pop coll cop it and then it'll be full of
a book called what you Want is the name of
the fim.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
The title is very long, so here let me.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I always have to like google it because the title
is so damn long.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
I've just been calling it the Black Fat Film Book.
But it's a full title, and I have yet to memorize.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It yet, and I live on the show that I
don't want.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
I don't want whyely to yell at me. So I'll
make sure that my good because my editor wanted. I'm
just say the whole thing, okay. So revealing the power
of visibly queer voices in media and learning to love yourself, you.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Did the hard work.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, that's hard to memorize. Yes, perfectly, fine, No, write
it on your hand.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
It. Every time I came up with the title we we,
I was in the back of an uber. I was
in the back of a uber going back, like, texting
my editor about the title, and we came up with
that one. But it is very long and I have
yet to memorize it. But eventually I will know it.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Eventually I won't know it. Yeah, yeah, that's my problem.
You've been away. Yes, yeah, I don't know if I
have one in New York, Charlotte. When you say doctor John,
do you feel not?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No, But that's true, John John. It's the sex shop.
It's the sex toy store in Omaha. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska,
doctor johnes. So when I say your nang, Doctor John.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
John, Oh, hey, Hey, would.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
You can't just say you can't say doctor John in
front of a bunch of people in Omaha.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, you have to get you know what. I'm gonna
tell my friends.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I'm gonna text my friend who used to live there,
and I'm gonna just be like doctor John and I'm
gonna see.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
What he responds with doctor John's.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
I think he's from Omaha to he lives out here
now in California, but he's from He gonna act like
he don't know, but he knows, you knows. I'm gonna
tell I'm gonna text that's doctor James, doctor James Simmons.
I'm gonna text him, and I'm gonna say, Mamas, what
does doctor John mean?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
And see what he says when it's doctor John's possessive?
Am I right? I think that belongs, that booty belongs.
I'm googling it, right, I'm making sure.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
When I hear h doctor John, I think doctor John,
doctor John, doctor John will with civil rights leader saying
it all morning.
Speaker 6 (14:10):
Yeah, well that's also a little bit of me too.
I also people's rights.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It makes you sing a double.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
It's not well, that's the liberty of people to wear lingerie.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You can't aware now these things were named after you.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Yes, m hm, they know, they know, they know who
they they've been new the.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Okay, we're gonna this is not going to be like
our regular podcast. This is going to be the one
where we stay on track and it's not too much fun. No,
we're on track. Hey, everybody, Okay, okay, the first step,
all right, don't I didn't know. I don't even have enough.
(15:06):
I heard yea that yeah Doctor John's show.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They were they were How did it go? Tell me everything?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Can I be extremely honest? Yes, this is what happened.
You ever hang out with young people and you realize.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Whippers so old?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
I'm so old like not old like not really you
old like to I mean yeah, yeah, like the body
is old, the brain is old old, but those like
old sensibilities.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, well I can't help.
Speaker 6 (15:50):
My co host is thirty, so so Joho is still
a little Joho is.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Right in this It is thirty that I have one
r thirty year old jack.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yes, there's there's this there's this thing where it's like
Jojo lives between.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I don't know the AA.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
There's a a R P and then there's like what
do you call it, there's like and then jin alpha.
They're like right in the middle of both of them,
and so they still have a touch of both. And
it's like I'm the I'm the one that's like starting
to touch a arp a little, and Joe it's just Jojo.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Keeps me young.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
But yeah, I definitely understood. I feel that often, very
very often, it's really bad.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And when it's like people who are especially when people
work in like d I inclusivity, then they will leave
yours in the dust. They will leave you in the dust,
and it'll be like, God, damn, I thought I knew
some ship. But I like it though, because they can
become the type learning person who yeah, everyone can hang with,
(16:59):
and that's my main goal, well ship, not everybody know well.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And that's when I would saying I was on a
cruise ship this weekend.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I just kept looking around at all the people and
I was going, I wonder who you voted for it?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Who did it? Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It's so funny now because your eyes just look around
and you just like you want to cackle, you want
to be kindy, and then you realize, hmm, I think
they voted against my right right name, stand up and
say your name like I voted, Yeah, say your name.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
See, so I'm with you. I'm with you.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
And it has been a very rough week because part
of me has been like he he fun times with
white people on a boat. But then every time there's
that small moment where I would.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Be like, I know they voted for that man.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah, okay, please, I've always wanted to go on a cruise.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Where did you go? What was your experience? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You know? So every every so me and my partner
have been ever since we've gotten together. He's known that
I'm a huge I love cruising. I've been a big,
big cruiser. But I was just telling my one on
the way home while we were rushing to get through
the door because there was a hole to do this morning,
we're trying to get off the boat. I have learned that.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So how do I say this without sounding elitist?
Speaker 6 (18:21):
I have learned that Carnival was fun for the younger me,
like the twenty five thirty year old me, the thirty
nine year old me now needs a princess or Norwegian,
or a celebrity or a virgin. I have just I
(18:41):
can't do like this was the last cruise. This was
the last Carnival cruise I can do. And what I
mean by that is is just like and maybe Lacy
you want I mean, maybe you understand.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
My friends, my friends the cruise tell me, do not
do Carnival. That's not Carnival.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
It's like I said, fun, right, Carnival was fun for
what it's fun for, and Carnival was fun for alcohol.
I am not a drinker, and so because I'm not
a drinker, I did get the bubbly package, meaning I
did get my soda like I had my soda. I
had my pepsi one, which they switched from coke products,
which I'm really really upset about.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But anyway, and.
Speaker 6 (19:23):
So yeah, the cruise. The cruise itself was great. We
went to basically they called the Mexican River Era. We
went to the We went to Cabo and I jumped
off a boat and that was fun. And then yeah,
there was like a we we did like one of
those the excursions, and then the excursion it was snarkling
in the water, and the baby boat that we got
(19:46):
on they had like a side where you could like
jump off into the water, and then they did some
stuff to bring fishes for us to be able to see.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
It was really fun.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
It was a really good brave Yeah. Yeah, I never
would have done it, but there was Yeah. But then
there was a part of me that was like, when
will you ever get to jump off of a boat
in cowboat Girl, Cob jump off the boat. And then
we went to we went into Nada and we went
on a wine tour and that was just about it.
So now we're home.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeay, was it worth it?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Was it worth it? When you repeat it and do that,
was it worth?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So this is the other part about it too.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I'm learning that Carnival is their system has changed the
lots from from COVID when we went. So we went
on a Carnival cruise in twenty nineteen and we did
a seven day and it felt like everything was included.
Like when you got on the boat, if you paid
the five dollars, it gave you not only the chat feature,
but it also gave you the Internet. It also gave
(20:52):
like and then like same thing with the Bubbly package.
It gave you water, it gave you soda. It basically
gave you anything that wasn't alcohol. And so it's just
a vef when a cranberrig estabish whenever you want to.
And this time around going on Carnival, I just felt
like we were nickel and dimed for everything. I basically
call Carnival spirit now is the spirit.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
They shouldn't have done it. They brought that on themselvesselves.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Yeah, it's very much giving spirit. It's like, yeah, your
ticket will be twenty five dollars, but you'll have to
fly the plane and then everything else. Additionally to flying
the plane, it'll be ten dollars for the seatbelt. It'll
be an additional two dollars for the seat like. That's
what it felt like. And so I was like, yeah,
I told I just looked at my partner house, Babe,
I think we're too grown, Like we're almost forty. I
was like, babe, I think we've outgrown Carnival. He was
(21:38):
like yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, yeah, we've
out Carnival.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I could never go on a cruise ship. I'm too scared.
I don't think I could do it. But before, back
when that was like a real job he could get
at the Second City, you know, performing on the cruise ships.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I was down. I was like, I kid, you think
of anything better. Oh, I never want you try? Did
you never getship? Oh no, she didn't do it. I
never did it. Yeah, I'm going on a cruise. I'm
going on a cruise. You've never been on one, Lacy.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I've never been on one. All my girlfriends go, so
I'm just gonna choose. Look at what they do, and
they do the bougie bougie ones and that's yeah, that's
the Norwegian. I cannot be below. I gotta be up on.
I gotta be able to be looking out at all times.
I can't be a box.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
We were, we were my love.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, just my COVID's gonna hit. We're gonna be locked
in rooms for twelve days.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
Did you did you see the documentary? There's a documentary
about the people who got stuck on the boat. I
know there was poop everywhere. I saw that game upon
the toilets.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I would not. I can't.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
That documentary stopped me from ever wanting to go on
a cruise.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That was a nightmare. Watch if you don't watch on
the cruise.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Yes, we did it, and I can sweep, so worst.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Comes the worst.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Ten days for a cruise is a lot, you know,
the most I also also tell people, if you've never
been on a cruise before, try to find a cruise
where you're doing because even I heard someone complaining about
it when we were trying to disembark. There's a woman
who said this was her first cruise as she did
five days. And I always I would tell people, very
very kindly, please don't do a five to seven day
(23:27):
cruise for your first cruise, because it is a lot
to take in in terms of like there's like once
you're on the boat, there's really like, yeah, they plan
stuff for you to do, but there's nothing for you
to do, if that makes sense, if you're not an
avid people person, that you can go up and just
chill out on the deck and talk to people and
be in the pool and do Nah, a five day
is a lot for somebody.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, what I would.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Hide, this is what I want to do. I want
to sit and look out at the water and eat
and drink. I don't want to go to no show,
I don't want to see anything. I don't want to
do any of that. I just want to sit in
the sun drinking.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
I would say maybe try Royal Caribbean for like a
first cruise. Royal Caribbean, I think is really good. We
had a good experience. Las sure, we did Royal Caribbean
and we had a really good experience. We only went
back to Carnival because Carnival hit us and was like, hey,
you have taken five cruises with us before your six
to one will give you a discount. So and they
corded a you mm hmmm, And I looked at my partner.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yep, you went back to your A really did you
went back to your egg on the block?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Car said you you want to come back to this baby?
You were good these days. Are you doing all right? Baby? Hey?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Baby a a baby? And remember when we used to
have a good time. Remember we used we all playing.
You got shipmatized. Everybody's been shipmatized. I've been digmatized. Everybody
been there. You've got shimatized. Beside you got ship that
(25:08):
is pleasing to me. Yes, you were all shipmatized.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
And the food, I mean the food was okay, but
it it just wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
I mean, I had a good I'm not gonna hold
you now. I did eat up all those people's ice
cream cones. And I would and I would and would again.
I would again. Are you this person, do you get
off the ship because I'm not getting off the ship.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
We did get off the ship twice.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I just saw a clip of a couple getting left
and they were yelling. And the people walked up to
me and was like, the ship is moving and they
were like, it's living us.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
They're screaming, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Living, but gonna wait for you.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
So let's talk about that. So for anybody who has
never cruised, this is what I tell people. You know,
so people, this is what we were dealing with today.
And I hate to get on my social justice bag bandwagon,
but y'all know who y'all brought onto the show. You
know what, people love to think that they're special, and
a lot of other people do too, but white people
(26:07):
have it in them. It's innately in them that they
feel like they are special and there's nothing that anyone
could say to them to change that. And so what
happens is is these people go on these cruises and
because they are cheap, they'll go I don't want to
pay for the excursion because wherever I am it's cheaper
for me to do it on my own, which is
(26:28):
true on my own. However, what people don't know about
cruises and excursions are if you book an excursion outside
of your cruise, they have no like there's no legal
liability for them to have to wait on you. And
so we had this happened a couple of years ago
when we went to me we went to Ensenada. We
went to the La Buffador.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't know if you know what that is, but
basically in Ininsenata, they have what they call a blowhole,
and it's it is very much a blow it's a
really cool it's like a what are they called it.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
It's like it's not it's not man made. It's a
guy the very similar it's a man made like not ma'am.
It's like rock formations that are natural and when the
water hits the rock, it like shoots up water.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's really cool. It's very very cool to watch. I
share this story because when you get to Ensenada, you
get two options, or when you get on Carnival, they'll say, oh,
do you want to go to the La Buffedora. Okay,
it's fifty five dollars per person. Yay, fifty five dollars.
I get on a bus. I get to go to
the Buffedora. I get to see the water. However, when
(27:33):
you get to in Soenada and you get off the boat,
there's a man standing there with a sign. He'll say
lab Buffedora trips four dollars, and so people will go, ooh,
four dollars. I get to go see the La Buffedora
for four dollars.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
However, what they don't tell you is that it takes
an hour and a half to get from the ship
to the little Buffedora. And if in that hour and
a half, when you're with that man for four dollars,
there's extra traffic that's keeping you from getting to the
little Buffedora, guess what happens to you when it comes
back time for you to get back on that boat.
There's no right you're too you're late, so the boat
(28:06):
will leave you. So that's what I tell people. People
always the cheap what they say, the sheep always comes
out expensive. That's what happens is that people get left
because they think that they're saving some money by doing
it their way, and then they end up getting left.
So that's probably what happened to those people. They probably
happened to.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
People they don't have their passport on. Yeah, how do
you get back? You someone have to ride you on
a small boat basically, or you have to you have
to fly into the next location and you have to
pray that you have your ID. So yeah, you have
to basically. So like for instance, like with us, like
(28:41):
we're we're looking at doing the Alaska one and so
next year that's what I want to do. And but
it's it's I think it's like five or six seven days,
and I think one of the days they go up
through Canada. So if we were to go and get
off wherever one of the stops were in Canada, if
we were to get left, we would have to fly
to the next stop. So that's an additional two three,
(29:02):
four hundred dollars you'd have today because you tried to
be cheap and not book the excursion through the ship.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
M h, I'm not getting off the ship. You said,
there's no reason to.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
The we are just gonna sit with lazy as hell.
I'm not walking now. I'm getting off the ship to walk.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I can walk.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
I'm not walking around. No, I'm not risking at all.
I feel like vacation.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yes I can. I can't just sit down.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Please tell my husband. He got mad at me on
Monday because I slept in. I didn't want to go
to the comedy show. I wanted to sleep.
Speaker 8 (29:42):
Him on the podcast, you gotta go outside, and I
say rest, but I said, my rest is resistance.
Speaker 6 (29:54):
I said, this is I'm going to bed. I said
black people deserve sleep too.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
And I turned over and I put on my iemask
and my seatpat machine and I went to bed.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I mean, I'm not Lewis and Clark yep not. We's
been discovered. We've seen it all. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Discovered Columbus either. I met a lady.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
I met a lady who black woman. She's probably in
her eighties, and she was cracking me up. She goes,
I go on Alaskan cruise every year. She said, I've
been on twelve and I said, I looked at her.
I said, you get off the boat, don't you cause
you look at venture. She said, I get off the
boat every time. And on the crew she goes with,
they go and look at they want to go look
at the bears. So there's a man with a shotgun
(30:40):
that walks off with them. Then there's a man up
a little ways so that he with a shotgun so
he can see them coming, and he has the whistle.
So they said, if you hear the whistle, you have
to run to the man. She said, she goes to
look at bears. I'm not going with you. So that's
this other story. I'll give a fuck about.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
What else do you have to say? Say? I'm not
doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So I said that they ever blow the whistle? She
I said, have they ever blown the whistle? She said,
just once?
Speaker 2 (31:08):
No, that would be yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
The mad go quickly because bears run faster than you think.
You might see the bear and it's running. You think
it's not gonna get you, It can get you. You
don't even need to tell me this.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Why would I go? And I've already paid my money.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Now I'm paying my money to possibly get mauled by
a bear and show the whistle.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Put my hands up and.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
A little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
But baby, you got to run, You're gonna and I well,
it's too late.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
This is Pam at this point.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Can I see the bears from the bus because I'm
getting off the bus either, Like, that's as far as
I'm going to.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
People do some really interesting things for for vacation, and
I just the same thing with camping. I always tell
people that you should go camping. Absolutely not. I have
been homeless before. I don't ever want to go back there.
No shade to the houseless and homeless community, because I
help them. I work very much every day to I
(32:11):
work for a nonprofit that helps to make sure that
people have housing.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
But the like the me, the the me who was houseless,
I would never want to go camping. What do you
know what I had to do to get this house? Hello?
I had to do?
Speaker 6 (32:27):
Do you know how many people I've had to argue
with to do you know how many things?
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Of how many contracts I have to fight to get
people to pay me on time? And then you want
me to go outside and sleep in a tent?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
We go outside inside, Hello, McDonald's home, our ancestors, y'all?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No, and fight for this? No, that's all about that.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Often I always slamber if time travel is real and
so journal truth, seize me outside? What a hot dog
on the stitch.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
She'll be like, wait, what year is it?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
What we did?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Ain't nobody gonna finch me? Nobody?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
She would us out, she would would drag you back inside.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yes, what are you doing? Side cannot disappoint a time.
Speaker 6 (33:22):
They're just now you've given me, You've given me ideas
for what I should be doing for an episode in
a couple of weeks. That is, I'm gonna do a
whole episode on the things that black people will not do,
and one of them is kemping. I don't, it's comprehend it.
And if you, oh, well, then we could just get
a trailer. No, because there's not enough space in the trailer.
I don't want to be outside whatever area you want
(33:44):
me to visit. If there's not bears roaming around, I'll
go look. I'll go look at the mountain.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Then I gotta come back to something with a roof
and a and a just in case y'all didn't know
what a roof was, a roof a locked door.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I'm cool.
Speaker 6 (33:59):
I will run at My husband really wants to go
to Yosamite, and he's like, we should go to Yosamite,
and I'm like, we can go to Yosamite. However, I
don't want to walk in nature. I don't want to
I don't want to see no bugs, I don't want
to see no animals. So I'm the girl that will
roll the window down and be like, louis most nice outside?
(34:19):
And then I'm like, push the window.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I heard that where we staying at, where we staying at,
what it looked like, what the hotel look like, what
the cabin look like?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Amen?
Speaker 3 (34:30):
When I say cabin, that better be the most glamorous cabin, not.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Not John Paul's. I don't. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I am trying to plan a vacation right now, actually,
and I want to stay in a villa on the beach,
and I want the beach to be right there, and
I want to touch the beach, and then I want
to go back in the bed, and from the bed,
I want to look at the beach.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, that's really nice. Amber and I are the same
person that all we want you normally have.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
That's Hawaii. Hawaii has the ConA Island. If you want
to look at stay in Kona. I think that if
that's something you're thinking about. I've gone to Maui once
and I've gone to Honolulu twice, and they have a
couple of places in Honolulu. But Honolulu has a lot
of people. So if you're looking for like more just
kind of like, I like people, but I also like
(35:24):
nature more. I think Conah would probably be somewhere you
should probably entertain.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Are you thinking about becoming a travel agent? No? Do
you want to think again?
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I could think about it one more time.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
No.
Speaker 6 (35:40):
I think it's just people are picky, and I think
being a travel agent you have to have a lot
of patients. And I think for me, I enjoy planning
my own trips. My husband actually is the one who
helps more than anything. I want a second, I think Maui.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
The only reason, the only thing that's kept me from
wanting to go back to Maui the last couple of
years is because of the fires. And I know that
they're very much Yeah, they're still very much trying to recover.
And I understand, like I know that travel is important
to their economy.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
But I also worry that.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
My americanness, how do I say this, My my need
for a vacation is not as as it's not greater
than their need for space to do whatever they need
to do to get their lives back in order. Yeah,
And so that's why that's what's been keeping me from
Maui is is knowing that they're still recovering. But what
(36:36):
I was gonna say about being a travel agent, Like
I said, I just think people are just too I
don't know, people are too needy and I don't have
the energy for it.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
You know, do you speak another language?
Speaker 3 (36:48):
I do not, Yes, I do. Actually I speak ebonics,
so do I. I think gay is a language too queer.
I speak M so maybe maybe maybe, But you know,
I don't speak anything outside of English.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
If you could choose another language, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Funny? And gosh, you're gonna get me canceled.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I watch what you said, you know, I want to
say it, but I'm trying to figure out how the
right way to say it.
Speaker 6 (37:20):
So problematic, So I would like to be able to
speak I think my nel tech is Vietnamese, and I
think I will And that's because I want to know
what they're saying when I'm there. Well, I don't know
if they're talking about me, because actually.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
The one that you always go to loves you to death,
but no one three seeds down.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
They're probably talking ship.
Speaker 6 (37:49):
But I would like I would like to know what
they're saying about other people, That's what That's the thing.
I would love to know what those conversations are about
the people who come in. So that's so Vietnamese is
high up there for me. I would also like to
be able to speak in a more realistic I think,
and this is again the social justice in me. I
(38:11):
would also like to be able to speak Spanish because
there are a lot of like where I live in
southern California, there still are a lot of folks who
like are very much in the mind of like, I
don't want to learn English and I'm not going to,
and so it would be very helpful. I feel like
in my work, especially in my line of work of
working in a nonprofit, that I'd be able to speak
to them and translate for them and not feel like
(38:33):
I'm having to wait to get them the services and
the help that they need.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Amber is very good at speaking different languages.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
See, I don't speak any other languages really umber.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
I speak English and Dutch. That's real. Oh I speak.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Signing exact English, which is a dead sign language that
no one speaks anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Oh I be Oh some Spanish, she can get around.
It's that translation for the as L kids in school.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Because what do they call that? Is it conversational Spanish
is what they call it?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah? Yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yeah, I can make myself understood kind of but maybe
that's it.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Is there a language I'm forgetting. I think that's you're
good at learning languages. But I can learn language.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I cannot add or subtract, I cannot find where I
am when I'm at I can learn a language.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I remember once we went to Paris, and you did
an excellent job there. That's true. We we we we we.
I got lost friends, I kid you not.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I got lost and that was the scariest feeling I
ever had. I've never been more afraid than getting lost
on that damn train. And it was rainy, and I
had four bags with me. I didn't know where I was.
I had to get off and call the uber to
take me to Was it Charles de Gaulle, that big
(40:10):
as airport.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, that's what happened to me. I got lost on
the train. Yeah that's that's unpleasant. What wasn't in for meds?
Speaker 3 (40:20):
So you still got open up, got a bad would travel.
Speaker 6 (40:28):
So I have to take so I had to do
something for I heart when I was there. So I
knew going to France that I had to leave France
to go back to New York to do something for iHeart.
And so I had brought some like extra stuff because
I was like, oh, well, if I'm going to be
in New York for the first time, I might as
well just stay there for a week.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
And that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
So I brought basically enough to be able to hold
me for the five days I was in I was
in France and then I went to New York.
Speaker 6 (40:54):
But yeah, I had one of the bags that I
had I bought. I bought a Louis Vaton bag in Paris,
of course, and then I brought the wallet to Alah.
I'm a Louis Aton or every pretty much at this
point every bag I have as a Louis Vaton bag,
and I just try to tell myself I can get
(41:15):
one yearly, that's my cap.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
So that way I don't broke.
Speaker 6 (41:19):
So they're real, like TLC, they are real. I don't
want to go broke.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
I don't want to end up sitting next to Tony
Braxton somewhere.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
But bankrupt is so they're very sustainable.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
The views of Doctor John do not reflect the views
of the Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
They are editors get cut down of state, Like I
don't want anybody getting a season, this sister getting in trouble.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
I know how it goes.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
But I just said, like, we know, people have been
bankrupt because they spin more than they make.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Not any too many.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
No, I have kept I've kept myself at one bag.
Price is good and they're sustainable. My girlfriend owns a
store that sells Chanelle Louis.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Yes, and she's making a killing, so bring it back
and sell it.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
See and also to like so I have on some
balinciagas and I bought them on feebe and I bought
them fee They were on eBay for three hundred and
ten dollars. I need you to get them from my store,
my friend's store. We're talking, okay, be helping her out? Sure, Yeah,
I welcome. I'm very much.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I love a woman. Wait, hold on, is it is it? Omaha? Yes?
It is status bought from her. It's my status lucks. Yes, bitch,
look you so bad? Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Let's do the math real quick. I was like that madlucks. Yes, yes,
my status lucks, and she will.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Get you anything. Let's say you say it.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Oh my god, I can't find this Louis bag. They
continue this five years ago. Christy like, what what you want?
We'll call you man.
Speaker 6 (43:04):
She was trying to get me one this before I
bought the one that I bought from the actual Levton store.
I was there was one that I was looking for
and she founded for me. It was just a little
more expensive than what I wanted to spend and so
but yes, but me and Christy. I have her phone number,
I really do. I have really directly Bill tex.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Her small crazy. I went to high school with so
much ye oh my gosh, love it. Shout out.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I have to point this out. It has been thirty
five minutes. We have not said one word about this show.
Nothing that we are supposed to talk about have we
talked about?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Also, we don't need to.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
We haven't taken a break. Okay, so let's do it now.
Hey everyone, we will we ever get this show back
on track? Who knows, but you're going to find out
after these messages is.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The Lacy message you.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Hey, everybody, we're back with more of the Amber and
Lacy Lacey and Amber show. We got doctor John Paul
with us, and they're a little too cute. I'm sorry,
and that's me talking, but for real, what shut up Lacey?
What a that is so rough in what I just said?
(44:40):
Shut up Lacey? We always we always do that. Shut
up Amber, and then you over pronounce their name. Shut up, Lacey,
and that's how you're roughing. Okay, Lacey Lamar.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Yes, I may. What are we doing? I know what
we're doing. What do we gonna do? What are you saying? No?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
No, no, you say it?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
You got this, you got this?
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Hey, everyone, it's time for sister court. Listen, Lamar is
the defense is the prosecution. And what happened is everybody
emailed in their problems to Amber and Lacy Advice at
gmail dot com, and we are going to read your
(45:28):
problems and we're going to argue about that ship. But
doctor John Paul Higgins is going to bring down the
gavel because they are the judge.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
I'm sorry, Judge, doctor Johnson. I'm just.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Judge, doctor John. Okay, that works, Judge. Where's my gavel?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Where's my gvel? We'll use this bunny rabbit as my nap.
There you go. Hey, Yes, I have a rainbow bunny rabbit. Okay, Lacy,
do you want to read it? You want me to?
I'm going to read this right now. Okay.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Our first dilemma, my husband's family keeps going on trips
without me. A few months ago, I found out all
the women on my husband's side of the family took
a girl's trip. I wouldn't have minded if it was
just the immediate family, but even the in laws went.
It's hard not to feel left out. Now they're planning
a second trip to the same place. They did invite
(46:25):
me this time, but since they invited me halfway through
their planning, I feel like they did it begrudgingly.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Am I looking too much into it? Or am I
right in not wanting to go on this trip? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (46:39):
First of all, can I say I enjoyed this problem
like the silly.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I like it, and the problem is like silly up
to them? It's not silly to them. We have a
little bit too much money. Am I going to have
fun with these people I don't like? Are fun by myself?
That's your problem, right, right, So let's call it what
it is.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Having said that, this is something you should definitely do.
I do think you have to go on this trip,
and I never act like this, but this is the thing,
right You're setting the tone for the rest of your life.
You're trying to get it there. Your kids will pay
for it. Can you smooth out these relationships or what.
(47:21):
And this is what I suggest. If you think that
they don't really want you on this trip, then come
in for a portion of it and leave. And then
what you will have done is you will have raised
your own stock and they'll be like, ooh, you know
who was fun for the three days she was around Karen? Yeah,
I want more of her? Do that shit, or go
(47:42):
and be half available. But don't flood these people with.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
A lot of you. That's a really smart idea.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah, make yourself a hot commodity. Yeah, that's what I think.
Lace Bare, You know I was listening to you.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
I ain't going. I'm not going.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
I'm already man, you know who is president. I'm already
pissed off. You know these women don't like you. Charlotte
don't like you. Charlene don't like you.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
They twins question, husband doesn't like Yes, you sure can.
Is there a race? Is there like a race? Elements
to this or possible? What? You know? What you think
they are?
Speaker 3 (48:29):
What you think because I would have just not I
wouldn't even have rolled in.
Speaker 6 (48:34):
Visa just a simple it's just a simple lady saying
her husband's family don't really fuck with her like that,
and can we cousin?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Are we? Yes? We can? Okay, we can? So yeah
so because I I but I was gonna say so her.
Speaker 6 (48:52):
So, this woman's husband's family doesn't really fuck with her,
has planned things around her, and now they're now she
found out that they've planned something else, and she's saying,
should I even go?
Speaker 2 (49:05):
The question is that she even invited.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
So they invited her last minute? Okay, so last minute,
I'm not going. I'm in fact, I'm gonna be go.
Oh you know what, I already planned a girl's trip,
and whether I have one or not, I'm gonna take
thick ass pictures. I'm gonna be by taking a picture
by a volcano, a bear, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
Oh, I have so much. So I'm gonna go with y'all.
I'm good. I'm ooh shit. Saying I already planned a
trip was pretty good. I already planned a trip.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
I wish you guys would have told me about this
sooner and then maybe see how you feel later. I
am petty LaBelle. I'm not going. I don't have time
to sit. And if you know they don't like you,
can you imagine sitting four days with some bitches that
don't like you. I'm not doing that. Life is too short.
I'm gonna get me some pizza. Not doing it, not
doing it. I would rather sit and watch Netflix, then sit,
(49:54):
then fly, and then I gotta fly. Oh if I
have to fly, I'm not going. I don't. What is
that off to you?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
With you?
Speaker 3 (50:04):
I have to use my Delta skuy priority. No, thank you,
not doing that. No, I'm okay, I'm gonna stay home.
I agree with both of you. I think both of
you have something good there. I think the idea of
going and limiting yourself. But then also you're setting yourself
up in that case too, because then they're gonna say, oh,
she thinks she's better than us, that she can only
hang out for a couple of days. And I do
(50:26):
think I'm better than you, and I think that's often
something that I wish more people said, she thinks she's
better than you, probably, but I would also say I
am also the girl. The younger me would have said, oh, yes,
I'm gonna go for a couple of days because I
don't want to feel like I'm being left out. But
the thirty nine year old doctor John Paul, who's done
(50:47):
a lot of therapy right is right there with you, Lacey.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Fuck y'all. I'm not going, especially if it's to you
seeing that all.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Fuck with you, Hi whoever, if you're listening, please send
them that song and with your reply.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Big shop, thank you. Can you just send them I
don't fuck with you by Big Sean.
Speaker 6 (51:17):
Yeah today, send them a picture of Aretha Franklin, because
you know Aretha didn't really fuck with what's her name,
Patty LaBelle, And so you could send them that gift
of Patty trying to.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Give her a hug and Aretha was pushing her away.
That's literally what you could do. It's really sad.
Speaker 3 (51:36):
I love Patty LaBelle, Yeah, Patty Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Ritha didn't see it for Patty at all.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Do you remember when Patty LaBelle did not sing the
lyrics right to Tina Turner's song when they did the
memorial to Tina Turner and Patti LaBelle messed up what
she was singing and then it was like, I can't
see the teller proper, sorry, Tina.
Speaker 6 (52:05):
Oh damn, did not see that? You also giving it's
giving barefoot? Can Tessa and Martha Stewart, I don't know
they have that, didn't real lady beef. I want to
be rich, that rich one day. Where can she can fight?
Speaker 2 (52:25):
And I know she can.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Just because Martha went to jail. Martha didn't going to
appreciate and do no serious time. Martha didn't learn nothing there.
I am not that woman can fight store bottles feet
Watch this?
Speaker 2 (52:48):
Oh for a living? Watch this?
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
I don't know. Oh that's deep.
Speaker 3 (52:56):
I'm looking this up after this podcast. I'm straight because
I want to. I'm all for that lay one.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
Oh, I'm way go ahead, sorry, go ahead. This woman
don't wear shoes. She can fight. That's all I'm going
to say. Never fight nobody with no shoes on. Okay?
Speaker 3 (53:11):
Is it weird to be nice? This is our next one?
I'm so sorry? Is it weird to be nice to
my Alexa? I've been using my Alexa as a timer
and to answer basic questions. I usually say please and
thank you. Recently, my husband caught me and said it
was a bit weird because it's just the machine, saying
you wouldn't what because it's.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Just the machine. What do you think? Is it weird
to be kind to my Alexa? I have to say that.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
I say please and thank you to the Alexa every
time because when them motherfuckers take over the earth, I
want to be favored.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
I don't want it to kill me. I don't want
it to kill me. Amen to kill me.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
But but Amber and I ambered alive. Several times we
have been like.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Alexa, shut up. I have plussed.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
Alexa up and down, and then I've been like Alexa,
I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
But when you are trying to find the specific Luther
Vandrol song and it plays John bon Jovi for you
want to fight, those are fighting words. Yeah, and you've
said it twelve times and it's still playing live in
on a bread. I can can't even talk if you
(54:25):
don't play the right song.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
And then sometimes you'll ask her a question and she'll go,
you know, I can't under The answer is eleven. Did
you know that if you want to order through the
Alexa app, you can do so by simply saying, Alexa,
please shut up?
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Nobody asked you for that. Shut up, Alex, set the timer? Yeah, weather,
you know, yeah, the weather is nobody.
Speaker 6 (54:55):
Well, the first question is why do you have an
Alexa and not a Surrey? I'm an Apple song. So
my first question to her, I would say I'm an again,
I'm an apples knob. But no, I don't think it's me.
I'm nice to mine. I'm nice to all of my
things in my home.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
Yeah, Amber's very nice to the Ambers. I love that thing.
She tells me the weather and direct can't look at
it on my phone.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
No, right, okay, I have one more, one more. Okay,
it's our turn to host the holidays. And I hate
my in laws and their families. They're loud and rude.
They let their kids run around and scream. Whenever it's
time to clean up. They go to the living space
to drink and watch TV. They never seem grateful for anything.
(55:43):
They're just really rude people. What are your suggestions on
getting through this or should we make up an excuse
to disinvite them over Amber?
Speaker 1 (55:50):
Oh buddy, Okay, there's a couple of different routes she
can go, but one is fuck them kids. Fucking fuck
them kids. You ain't gonna you shouldn't be having them.
We don't let you let your children run all around
my house. Work so hard to get this couch. Now,
your kid got us footee nikes out there? No, cannot
(56:12):
have it.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
No, absolutely, not so that's one way you could do things. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
Another way is maybe you can make like a chart
that's like you bring this, and I'll bring this, and
these are the things we need and I'll cook the turkey,
and you all motherfuckers bring everything else. Then you won't
feel so bad when they don't wash the dishes they
brought because you throw them the fuck out.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
You know. That's one thought.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
But also Thanksgiving is for you too, So if you
not having fun, what are we doing?
Speaker 4 (56:46):
Right?
Speaker 6 (56:47):
That's why I stay home. My question would be I
would ask them who they voted for, and that would
be my reason for either saying yes to them coming
over or no, that's right and right on, you're right on, Yeah,
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah, this
whole episode, we have learned that Lacey's not doing it,
and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (57:06):
I think God damn, I think we asked. But you know,
if they've been saying black people.
Speaker 6 (57:11):
Are reclaiming black women specifically are reclaiming their time, I agree.
I think black women, all black people, specifically black trans women,
but hey say it. We all need to start saying
absolutely not so much more so people coming over to
your house and making a mess and letting their badass
(57:33):
children run around your home.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
To tell away, I'm never letting somebody's bad child run
around my house.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
What is Amberson? No?
Speaker 3 (57:43):
Absolutely, I'm gonna have a little cordon off area where
everybody's in time out.
Speaker 2 (57:50):
You and time out, and you in there with your kids,
go standing there. You got to sit in the garage. No,
I'm putting you in the garage. You sit there if
you like in the garage. Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing it.
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (58:03):
My nephew hasn't been over my new home, and it's
just because we have stairs and we have a lot
of expensive stuff on the second floor. And I love
my nephew, but he doesn't know how to act yet,
and so maybe when he's another year, you're too older.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
When his you can keep these kids, he doesn't care
bumping around.
Speaker 6 (58:21):
No, when he learns how to sit down for more
than ten minutes, I will invite him and my brother over.
But other than that, he's going to stay up where
they live. I love him.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Listeners, what did we learn today?
Speaker 1 (58:35):
We learned that you don't have to do anything you
don't want to do, especially in the year twenty twenty
five in the year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
We're protecting our piece.
Speaker 1 (58:47):
We're saying no, and we're eating pizza, okay, saying no no.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
We're saying no to Carnival.
Speaker 3 (58:58):
Sorry, Carnival Cruise, say annoying relatives, and we say on
badass kids. Amy one of the three call me a
manga Carnival bok wait, wait on the phone. Hang up,
No weird answer and I'm not answering.
Speaker 1 (59:15):
This has been the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.
I'm Amber Ruff and you can find me at Amber
Ruffin across all socials. Lacey, what's your handle, I'm.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
Lacey Lamar and it's Lacy Lamar. One shut up Amber,
Okay there Sean Paul. How do we find you?
Speaker 2 (59:33):
Doc Well?
Speaker 6 (59:33):
When I am not moving about Gotham City, I call
you downtown Los Angeles, Gockham City. When I'm not moving
about Gotthham City, you can find me on.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
You know what.
Speaker 6 (59:45):
So I also I just deactivated my Twitter. Oh I'm
no longer on Twitter, so you can find me at
Blue Sky Just search at doctor John Paul. You can
find me on Instagram blue Sky well threads. Yeah, you
can find me down at the local Pancake House and
Chrispy Green.
Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
I love donuts.
Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
Yeah, but you won't find me on the carnival boat
anytime soon. So yeah, yep, yep. At Doctor John Paul Well, this.
Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Has been the Amber and Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show.
The three of us would like to wish you Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
We'll be doing this for two months. Woman.
Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
The Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show is a
production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sonni super produced
by Becca Ramos.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Because She's a Superhero.
Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd.
Music by David schmol
You know that our show is way better than the rest.
November and Lacy. Which one day you like best? It's
the Emperor and Lace. Say, let's say an Amber show.
You like Amber Moore, you like Lacey Lacy. Guys, Welcome
(00:24):
to the Amber and Lacy Lacy Number Show. Today's show
is about love. Okay. Each bit we're going to do
is special for bound.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hold on, hold on, yeah, my phone was ringing.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, hello, Yeah. They all called and said I'm the best. Sorry,
my phone off. Normally I turned my phone off during
the podcast. I'm so embarrassed. Guys, I never have my
phone ring They called me.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, go carry on.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Okay, this is the Amber and Lacy Lacy Amber Show.
I was in the middle of a lie about how
everything is about love and how it was for February fourteenth.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
But that's not true. Why did you say that?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, we'll never know, because you interrupted me while I
was trying to do a bit.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
That's not true. What I'm so sorry? Matter they do?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Oh my gosh, imagine like matter too late? You said
they do, so now you are. Now you're getting canceled.
Run alongside me. Maybe you go signed it too quick?
I did it I did it, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
How was your week? My week has been great?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Do you know what I've been thinking about all day
is when I do get back to New York City,
I need to go ice skating because somebody didn't go
with me last year.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I couldn't get one person who.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I know?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Did you if one did not go?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Will someone go ice skating with me?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Please ride in if you will go ice skate with me,
pul Amber, her number is no.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Five five five, Amby. I need to go ice skating.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
But if you will go ice skating with Lacey, you
should tweet at her Lacey, you stink.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
That way she'll know you want to go ice skating
with her.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And if lay I want to go ice skating with her,
say Lacey, you stink, and then she'll.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Know the difference. What she'll know the difference, She'll know
what you mean. I want to go ice skating so bad, Amber,
Why don't you want to? Can you ice skate? I
can ice skate? I don't think you can. I can
ice skate, I can roller skate. I can do it. Now.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
If I fill I do think my bones would shatter
like an old woman. And that's real. I do think
I'm one fall away from a broken bone. Hmm, okay,
we don't want that, but it's a pretty fun experiment.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh I should do it.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Also, I just like roller skating infinitely more than ice skating.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I love roller skating emactly vibe. You're indoors your wars,
you get a pickle, you need.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
To Oh you do Okay, now you've just want to
be over. Okay, but wait, when's the last time you've
been roller skating? And be honest, I.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Would say five years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh okay, then maybe you know how to roller skate
because I hadn't been in maybe ten years.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh boy. It was like I didn't know how to
roller skate anymore.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
It's not like getting on No, it's not like getting
back on a bike. I was wobbly like a baby deer.
And you know, I was the best. I was the
best roller skater in Omaha, Nebraska people. I'm not lying.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I was really good. It's true. And I was like,
what's happened to me?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Move it or lose it.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So now I gotta stay on my roller skating skills
because I'm back at it now. But it's not the same, yeah,
the same. Sorry, Lacey, I will not be joining the
roller derby? So could you do a roller derby? Could
you knock people down?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Here's the thing about roller skating.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I didn't lose any of my skill, but I lost
one thousand percent of the ability to move that much. Like.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I made one lap around and was like, God help me.
Couldn't do it? Yeah, what is that?
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I didn't want? We don't weigh that much. My ankles
were like, what am I holding up? That's all my
ankle said was if you don't sitch a fat ask
me you can't be holding up all it is too.
My ankles were just the only thing that hurt. I
was dying, and I was like, why can't I skate?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
What?
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Lacy and I are not big people? I don't know it?
Go as for as to call us small? Yeah, I
could not do it. My ankles gave out. My knees
were like, hey, I dare you. I dare you to
keep going. I got ten dollars to say, I'm about
to pop off you. I got your Nie said it
(04:59):
not and he you're about to pu pop off?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Money said sometimes you gotta pop off at show niggas
did we ever talk about oh that I'm dying Kendrick
(05:22):
Lamar and Drake Beef when it happened.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I don't think we did because we're all remember I
didn't know about it, and we sat and Amber made
us listen to every song in order because I didn't
know what was going on.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Listen, guys, and I listened to Anita Baker and Tony Braxton.
There's no way that I listened to all them songs.
I'm so sorry. So Amber explained to me what was
going on, played the songs, and then that's how I
found out.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, it was really fun, and I think everyone should
sit down and listen to all the songs in order.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Amber, can you quickly explain to people that are listening
that have no idea what There's still maybe five people
out there that don't know, and I don't want anyone
in the dark. While we're talking about this, what happened?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
And each other wrote a bunch of songs about it.
Who cares? These children are crazy.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
They had a little beef, they're upset.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
It was like if Amber and I and we Amber
and I always be writing distracts about each other.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Listen to the.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Beginning of these songs. Hey, this podcast a number one
long distrust we made to put our songs together and
call it the Amber Lazy Lazy Emberg Distract cause we
got some good ones.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
We do, really, because if you've listened to.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
This podcast enough, you know we be having distracts at
the beginning. So that's what the Kendrick Lamar and Drake thing.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Is, and that's why they should get it all out
in a podcast.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So, but how do you feel about Kendrick Lamar now
being on the What is he going to do the
Super Bowl?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What Kendrick Lamar?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yeah, it's gonna crash.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Why do I feel just a little bit like, oh no,
he's gonna.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Talk about drink come there and then.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I don't care about any of these people, but I
feel like, let it go.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
But he's not. He's gonna roast him on the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I mean to be fair. It's one of the best
songs of all time. Listen, it's really beautiful. It's just
beautiful work Amber. I have to say it, and Amber
gets mad when I when I say this. But the
funniest thing that I ever saw I was in Times Square.
There was this little children's choir singing.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And Seize the day. What is that from the newsies
that musical sees it? Imagine that being mixed with they
not like us? So it was like, and seize the day?
They not like us? They not like us? Why they
not like us? Has been mixed into everything everywhere. I
was crying real tears when I heard that. I was like, okay,
even the kids choir, yeah, singing Kendrick Lamar, like that
(08:01):
shouldn't happened, but it was funny.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Everyone Today on the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show,
we have a sweety sweety pie. We have doctor John
Paul Higgins. They are one of my favoritest people, just
like a very delightful baby who we love.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Got to stop calling people baby.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
But they don't a baby. They're so cute, cute little's
only because they're so cute. So we have doctor John
Paul Higgins. They are a podcast host, the Black Fat
Femme Podcast, and they have a book coming out that's
also called Black Fat fem revealing the power of visibly
(08:45):
queer voices in media and learning to love yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Ooh nice, So we love them. You're going to fall
in love with them too.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
In one minute right after these messages.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Hey, everybody, hold on to your butt. Swatch out.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Welcome back to the second Party, you ever Lazy Lacy
and Ambras show. Today's guest is our perfect Baby. They're
the creator, executive producer, and the host of the Black
Fat Fem podcast.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Please welcome, Doctor John Paul Higgins. We did it, Joe.
We well, we kind of did it. We only twenty five.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Jill.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Okay, hold on, hold up, Okay, okay, okay, okay, now, Amber,
let's hold our nails up.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Got it? Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Yes, So so I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. They
have they have a little bit it's like a tinge
of like a reddish brown, and then there's a gold line.
And I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. And then I know.
I didn't know we was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Doing nails today.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I didn't know because I really thought I'm a raggedy
but I knew ambers was gonna be always very terrible. Like,
look look at mine, just plain, just plain against is
okay to be playing in a world. Yes, but that's hair. Yes,
I look at everybody's hair.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
We did that. We all got the memory. Naturally, it's fluffy.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Watch out John bun Oh do people call you John
Bon because.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
You know you and I will hold on to that.
I will be I will John John, Yes, John you are.
Is it true that you wrote a book?
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Know it's it's It's a true thing. It's a real thing.
It is a tangible thing. It will be in You
can go to your local library, go to your black bookstore.
You can get it March twenty fifth. You can pre
order it, now, that is the thing I've been telling everyone.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Pre order it.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
Go to go to my website and there's like six
or seven different places you can click and you can
pre order it. But yes, March twenty fifth, twenty twenty five,
there will be a book with multiple pages that folks
can read from me.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I'm gonna be I'm gonna be selling some out of
my car.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Wherever you need this book, I'm gonna be there. You
see Lacy Oh.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Pop coll cop it and then it'll be full of
a book called what you Want is the name of
the fim.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
The title is very long, so here let me.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I always have to like google it because the title
is so damn long.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
I've just been calling it the Black Fat Film Book.
But it's a full title, and I have yet to memorize.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It yet, and I live on the show that I
don't want.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
I don't want whyely to yell at me. So I'll
make sure that my good because my editor wanted. I'm
just say the whole thing, okay. So revealing the power
of visibly queer voices in media and learning to love yourself, you.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Did the hard work.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, that's hard to memorize. Yes, perfectly, fine, No, write
it on your hand.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
It. Every time I came up with the title we we,
I was in the back of an uber. I was
in the back of a uber going back, like, texting
my editor about the title, and we came up with
that one. But it is very long and I have
yet to memorize it. But eventually I will know it.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Eventually I won't know it. Yeah, yeah, that's my problem.
You've been away. Yes, yeah, I don't know if I
have one in New York, Charlotte. When you say doctor John,
do you feel not?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No, But that's true, John John. It's the sex shop.
It's the sex toy store in Omaha. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska,
doctor johnes. So when I say your nang, Doctor John.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
John, Oh, hey, Hey, would.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
You can't just say you can't say doctor John in
front of a bunch of people in Omaha.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, you have to get you know what. I'm gonna
tell my friends.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I'm gonna text my friend who used to live there,
and I'm gonna just be like doctor John and I'm
gonna see.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
What he responds with doctor John's.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
I think he's from Omaha to he lives out here
now in California, but he's from He gonna act like
he don't know, but he knows, you knows. I'm gonna
tell I'm gonna text that's doctor James, doctor James Simmons.
I'm gonna text him, and I'm gonna say, Mamas, what
does doctor John mean?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
And see what he says when it's doctor John's possessive?
Am I right? I think that belongs, that booty belongs.
I'm googling it, right, I'm making sure.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
When I hear h doctor John, I think doctor John,
doctor John, doctor John will with civil rights leader saying
it all morning.
Speaker 6 (14:10):
Yeah, well that's also a little bit of me too.
I also people's rights.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It makes you sing a double.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
It's not well, that's the liberty of people to wear lingerie.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You can't aware now these things were named after you.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Yes, m hm, they know, they know, they know who
they they've been new the.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Okay, we're gonna this is not going to be like
our regular podcast. This is going to be the one
where we stay on track and it's not too much fun. No,
we're on track. Hey, everybody, Okay, okay, the first step,
all right, don't I didn't know. I don't even have enough.
(15:06):
I heard yea that yeah Doctor John's show.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They were they were How did it go? Tell me everything?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Can I be extremely honest? Yes, this is what happened.
You ever hang out with young people and you realize.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Whippers so old?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
I'm so old like not old like not really you
old like to I mean yeah, yeah, like the body
is old, the brain is old old, but those like
old sensibilities.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, well I can't help.
Speaker 6 (15:50):
My co host is thirty, so so Joho is still
a little Joho is.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Right in this It is thirty that I have one
r thirty year old jack.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yes, there's there's this there's this thing where it's like
Jojo lives between.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I don't know the AA.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
There's a a R P and then there's like what
do you call it, there's like and then jin alpha.
They're like right in the middle of both of them,
and so they still have a touch of both. And
it's like I'm the I'm the one that's like starting
to touch a arp a little, and Joe it's just Jojo.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Keeps me young.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
But yeah, I definitely understood. I feel that often, very
very often, it's really bad.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And when it's like people who are especially when people
work in like d I inclusivity, then they will leave
yours in the dust. They will leave you in the dust,
and it'll be like, God, damn, I thought I knew
some ship. But I like it though, because they can
become the type learning person who yeah, everyone can hang with,
(16:59):
and that's my main goal, well ship, not everybody know well.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And that's when I would saying I was on a
cruise ship this weekend.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I just kept looking around at all the people and
I was going, I wonder who you voted for it?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Who did it? Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It's so funny now because your eyes just look around
and you just like you want to cackle, you want
to be kindy, and then you realize, hmm, I think
they voted against my right right name, stand up and
say your name like I voted, Yeah, say your name.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
See, so I'm with you. I'm with you.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
And it has been a very rough week because part
of me has been like he he fun times with
white people on a boat. But then every time there's
that small moment where I would.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Be like, I know they voted for that man.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah, okay, please, I've always wanted to go on a cruise.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Where did you go? What was your experience? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You know? So every every so me and my partner
have been ever since we've gotten together. He's known that
I'm a huge I love cruising. I've been a big,
big cruiser. But I was just telling my one on
the way home while we were rushing to get through
the door because there was a hole to do this morning,
we're trying to get off the boat. I have learned that.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So how do I say this without sounding elitist?
Speaker 6 (18:21):
I have learned that Carnival was fun for the younger me,
like the twenty five thirty year old me, the thirty
nine year old me now needs a princess or Norwegian,
or a celebrity or a virgin. I have just I
(18:41):
can't do like this was the last cruise. This was
the last Carnival cruise I can do. And what I
mean by that is is just like and maybe Lacy
you want I mean, maybe you understand.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
My friends, my friends the cruise tell me, do not
do Carnival. That's not Carnival.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
It's like I said, fun, right, Carnival was fun for
what it's fun for, and Carnival was fun for alcohol.
I am not a drinker, and so because I'm not
a drinker, I did get the bubbly package, meaning I
did get my soda like I had my soda. I
had my pepsi one, which they switched from coke products,
which I'm really really upset about.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But anyway, and.
Speaker 6 (19:23):
So yeah, the cruise. The cruise itself was great. We
went to basically they called the Mexican River Era. We
went to the We went to Cabo and I jumped
off a boat and that was fun. And then yeah,
there was like a we we did like one of
those the excursions, and then the excursion it was snarkling
in the water, and the baby boat that we got
(19:46):
on they had like a side where you could like
jump off into the water, and then they did some
stuff to bring fishes for us to be able to see.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
It was really fun.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
It was a really good brave Yeah. Yeah, I never
would have done it, but there was Yeah. But then
there was a part of me that was like, when
will you ever get to jump off of a boat
in cowboat Girl, Cob jump off the boat. And then
we went to we went into Nada and we went
on a wine tour and that was just about it.
So now we're home.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeay, was it worth it?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Was it worth it? When you repeat it and do that,
was it worth?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So this is the other part about it too.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I'm learning that Carnival is their system has changed the
lots from from COVID when we went. So we went
on a Carnival cruise in twenty nineteen and we did
a seven day and it felt like everything was included.
Like when you got on the boat, if you paid
the five dollars, it gave you not only the chat feature,
but it also gave you the Internet. It also gave
(20:52):
like and then like same thing with the Bubbly package.
It gave you water, it gave you soda. It basically
gave you anything that wasn't alcohol. And so it's just
a vef when a cranberrig estabish whenever you want to.
And this time around going on Carnival, I just felt
like we were nickel and dimed for everything. I basically
call Carnival spirit now is the spirit.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
They shouldn't have done it. They brought that on themselvesselves.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Yeah, it's very much giving spirit. It's like, yeah, your
ticket will be twenty five dollars, but you'll have to
fly the plane and then everything else. Additionally to flying
the plane, it'll be ten dollars for the seatbelt. It'll
be an additional two dollars for the seat like. That's
what it felt like. And so I was like, yeah,
I told I just looked at my partner house, Babe,
I think we're too grown, Like we're almost forty. I
was like, babe, I think we've outgrown Carnival. He was
(21:38):
like yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, yeah, we've
out Carnival.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I could never go on a cruise ship. I'm too scared.
I don't think I could do it. But before, back
when that was like a real job he could get
at the Second City, you know, performing on the cruise ships.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I was down. I was like, I kid, you think
of anything better. Oh, I never want you try? Did
you never getship? Oh no, she didn't do it. I
never did it. Yeah, I'm going on a cruise. I'm
going on a cruise. You've never been on one, Lacy.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I've never been on one. All my girlfriends go, so
I'm just gonna choose. Look at what they do, and
they do the bougie bougie ones and that's yeah, that's
the Norwegian. I cannot be below. I gotta be up on.
I gotta be able to be looking out at all times.
I can't be a box.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
We were, we were my love.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, just my COVID's gonna hit. We're gonna be locked
in rooms for twelve days.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
Did you did you see the documentary? There's a documentary
about the people who got stuck on the boat. I
know there was poop everywhere. I saw that game upon
the toilets.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I would not. I can't.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
That documentary stopped me from ever wanting to go on
a cruise.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That was a nightmare. Watch if you don't watch on
the cruise.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Yes, we did it, and I can sweep, so worst.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Comes the worst.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Ten days for a cruise is a lot, you know,
the most I also also tell people, if you've never
been on a cruise before, try to find a cruise
where you're doing because even I heard someone complaining about
it when we were trying to disembark. There's a woman
who said this was her first cruise as she did
five days. And I always I would tell people, very
very kindly, please don't do a five to seven day
(23:27):
cruise for your first cruise, because it is a lot
to take in in terms of like there's like once
you're on the boat, there's really like, yeah, they plan
stuff for you to do, but there's nothing for you
to do, if that makes sense, if you're not an
avid people person, that you can go up and just
chill out on the deck and talk to people and
be in the pool and do Nah, a five day
is a lot for somebody.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, what I would.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Hide, this is what I want to do. I want
to sit and look out at the water and eat
and drink. I don't want to go to no show,
I don't want to see anything. I don't want to
do any of that. I just want to sit in
the sun drinking.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
I would say maybe try Royal Caribbean for like a
first cruise. Royal Caribbean, I think is really good. We
had a good experience. Las sure, we did Royal Caribbean
and we had a really good experience. We only went
back to Carnival because Carnival hit us and was like, hey,
you have taken five cruises with us before your six
to one will give you a discount. So and they
corded a you mm hmmm, And I looked at my partner.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yep, you went back to your A really did you
went back to your egg on the block?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Car said you you want to come back to this baby?
You were good these days. Are you doing all right? Baby? Hey?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Baby a a baby? And remember when we used to
have a good time. Remember we used we all playing.
You got shipmatized. Everybody's been shipmatized. I've been digmatized. Everybody
been there. You've got shimatized. Beside you got ship that
(25:08):
is pleasing to me. Yes, you were all shipmatized.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
And the food, I mean the food was okay, but
it it just wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
I mean, I had a good I'm not gonna hold
you now. I did eat up all those people's ice
cream cones. And I would and I would and would again.
I would again. Are you this person, do you get
off the ship because I'm not getting off the ship.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
We did get off the ship twice.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I just saw a clip of a couple getting left
and they were yelling. And the people walked up to
me and was like, the ship is moving and they
were like, it's living us.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
They're screaming, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Living, but gonna wait for you.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
So let's talk about that. So for anybody who has
never cruised, this is what I tell people. You know,
so people, this is what we were dealing with today.
And I hate to get on my social justice bag bandwagon,
but y'all know who y'all brought onto the show. You
know what, people love to think that they're special, and
a lot of other people do too, but white people
(26:07):
have it in them. It's innately in them that they
feel like they are special and there's nothing that anyone
could say to them to change that. And so what
happens is is these people go on these cruises and
because they are cheap, they'll go I don't want to
pay for the excursion because wherever I am it's cheaper
for me to do it on my own, which is
(26:28):
true on my own. However, what people don't know about
cruises and excursions are if you book an excursion outside
of your cruise, they have no like there's no legal
liability for them to have to wait on you. And
so we had this happened a couple of years ago
when we went to me we went to Ensenada. We
went to the La Buffador.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't know if you know what that is, but
basically in Ininsenata, they have what they call a blowhole,
and it's it is very much a blow it's a
really cool it's like a what are they called it.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
It's like it's not it's not man made. It's a
guy the very similar it's a man made like not ma'am.
It's like rock formations that are natural and when the
water hits the rock, it like shoots up water.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's really cool. It's very very cool to watch. I
share this story because when you get to Ensenada, you
get two options, or when you get on Carnival, they'll say, oh,
do you want to go to the La Buffedora. Okay,
it's fifty five dollars per person. Yay, fifty five dollars.
I get on a bus. I get to go to
the Buffedora. I get to see the water. However, when
(27:33):
you get to in Soenada and you get off the boat,
there's a man standing there with a sign. He'll say
lab Buffedora trips four dollars, and so people will go, ooh,
four dollars. I get to go see the La Buffedora
for four dollars.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
However, what they don't tell you is that it takes
an hour and a half to get from the ship
to the little Buffedora. And if in that hour and
a half, when you're with that man for four dollars,
there's extra traffic that's keeping you from getting to the
little Buffedora, guess what happens to you when it comes
back time for you to get back on that boat.
There's no right you're too you're late, so the boat
(28:06):
will leave you. So that's what I tell people. People
always the cheap what they say, the sheep always comes
out expensive. That's what happens is that people get left
because they think that they're saving some money by doing
it their way, and then they end up getting left.
So that's probably what happened to those people. They probably
happened to.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
People they don't have their passport on. Yeah, how do
you get back? You someone have to ride you on
a small boat basically, or you have to you have
to fly into the next location and you have to
pray that you have your ID. So yeah, you have
to basically. So like for instance, like with us, like
(28:41):
we're we're looking at doing the Alaska one and so
next year that's what I want to do. And but
it's it's I think it's like five or six seven days,
and I think one of the days they go up
through Canada. So if we were to go and get
off wherever one of the stops were in Canada, if
we were to get left, we would have to fly
to the next stop. So that's an additional two three,
(29:02):
four hundred dollars you'd have today because you tried to
be cheap and not book the excursion through the ship.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
M h, I'm not getting off the ship. You said,
there's no reason to.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
The we are just gonna sit with lazy as hell.
I'm not walking now. I'm getting off the ship to walk.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I can walk.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
I'm not walking around. No, I'm not risking at all.
I feel like vacation.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yes I can. I can't just sit down.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Please tell my husband. He got mad at me on
Monday because I slept in. I didn't want to go
to the comedy show. I wanted to sleep.
Speaker 8 (29:42):
Him on the podcast, you gotta go outside, and I
say rest, but I said, my rest is resistance.
Speaker 6 (29:54):
I said, this is I'm going to bed. I said
black people deserve sleep too.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
And I turned over and I put on my iemask
and my seatpat machine and I went to bed.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I mean, I'm not Lewis and Clark yep not. We's
been discovered. We've seen it all. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Discovered Columbus either. I met a lady.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
I met a lady who black woman. She's probably in
her eighties, and she was cracking me up. She goes,
I go on Alaskan cruise every year. She said, I've
been on twelve and I said, I looked at her.
I said, you get off the boat, don't you cause
you look at venture. She said, I get off the
boat every time. And on the crew she goes with,
they go and look at they want to go look
at the bears. So there's a man with a shotgun
(30:40):
that walks off with them. Then there's a man up
a little ways so that he with a shotgun so
he can see them coming, and he has the whistle.
So they said, if you hear the whistle, you have
to run to the man. She said, she goes to
look at bears. I'm not going with you. So that's
this other story. I'll give a fuck about.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
What else do you have to say? Say? I'm not
doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So I said that they ever blow the whistle? She
I said, have they ever blown the whistle? She said,
just once?
Speaker 2 (31:08):
No, that would be yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
The mad go quickly because bears run faster than you think.
You might see the bear and it's running. You think
it's not gonna get you, It can get you. You
don't even need to tell me this.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Why would I go? And I've already paid my money.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Now I'm paying my money to possibly get mauled by
a bear and show the whistle.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Put my hands up and.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
A little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
But baby, you got to run, You're gonna and I well,
it's too late.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
This is Pam at this point.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Can I see the bears from the bus because I'm
getting off the bus either, Like, that's as far as
I'm going to.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
People do some really interesting things for for vacation, and
I just the same thing with camping. I always tell
people that you should go camping. Absolutely not. I have
been homeless before. I don't ever want to go back there.
No shade to the houseless and homeless community, because I
help them. I work very much every day to I
(32:11):
work for a nonprofit that helps to make sure that
people have housing.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
But the like the me, the the me who was houseless,
I would never want to go camping. What do you
know what I had to do to get this house? Hello?
I had to do?
Speaker 6 (32:27):
Do you know how many people I've had to argue
with to do you know how many things?
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Of how many contracts I have to fight to get
people to pay me on time? And then you want
me to go outside and sleep in a tent?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
We go outside inside, Hello, McDonald's home, our ancestors, y'all?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No, and fight for this? No, that's all about that.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Often I always slamber if time travel is real and
so journal truth, seize me outside? What a hot dog
on the stitch.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
She'll be like, wait, what year is it?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
What we did?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Ain't nobody gonna finch me? Nobody?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
She would us out, she would would drag you back inside.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yes, what are you doing? Side cannot disappoint a time.
Speaker 6 (33:22):
They're just now you've given me, You've given me ideas
for what I should be doing for an episode in
a couple of weeks. That is, I'm gonna do a
whole episode on the things that black people will not do,
and one of them is kemping. I don't, it's comprehend it.
And if you, oh, well, then we could just get
a trailer. No, because there's not enough space in the trailer.
I don't want to be outside whatever area you want
(33:44):
me to visit. If there's not bears roaming around, I'll
go look. I'll go look at the mountain.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Then I gotta come back to something with a roof
and a and a just in case y'all didn't know
what a roof was, a roof a locked door.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I'm cool.
Speaker 6 (33:59):
I will run at My husband really wants to go
to Yosamite, and he's like, we should go to Yosamite,
and I'm like, we can go to Yosamite. However, I
don't want to walk in nature. I don't want to
I don't want to see no bugs, I don't want
to see no animals. So I'm the girl that will
roll the window down and be like, louis most nice outside?
(34:19):
And then I'm like, push the window.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I heard that where we staying at, where we staying at,
what it looked like, what the hotel look like, what
the cabin look like?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Amen?
Speaker 3 (34:30):
When I say cabin, that better be the most glamorous cabin, not.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Not John Paul's. I don't. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I am trying to plan a vacation right now, actually,
and I want to stay in a villa on the beach,
and I want the beach to be right there, and
I want to touch the beach, and then I want
to go back in the bed, and from the bed,
I want to look at the beach.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, that's really nice. Amber and I are the same
person that all we want you normally have.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
That's Hawaii. Hawaii has the ConA Island. If you want
to look at stay in Kona. I think that if
that's something you're thinking about. I've gone to Maui once
and I've gone to Honolulu twice, and they have a
couple of places in Honolulu. But Honolulu has a lot
of people. So if you're looking for like more just
kind of like, I like people, but I also like
(35:24):
nature more. I think Conah would probably be somewhere you
should probably entertain.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Are you thinking about becoming a travel agent? No? Do
you want to think again?
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I could think about it one more time.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
No.
Speaker 6 (35:40):
I think it's just people are picky, and I think
being a travel agent you have to have a lot
of patients. And I think for me, I enjoy planning
my own trips. My husband actually is the one who
helps more than anything. I want a second, I think Maui.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
The only reason, the only thing that's kept me from
wanting to go back to Maui the last couple of
years is because of the fires. And I know that
they're very much Yeah, they're still very much trying to recover.
And I understand, like I know that travel is important
to their economy.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
But I also worry that.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
My americanness, how do I say this, My my need
for a vacation is not as as it's not greater
than their need for space to do whatever they need
to do to get their lives back in order. Yeah,
And so that's why that's what's been keeping me from
Maui is is knowing that they're still recovering. But what
(36:36):
I was gonna say about being a travel agent, Like
I said, I just think people are just too I
don't know, people are too needy and I don't have
the energy for it.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
You know, do you speak another language?
Speaker 3 (36:48):
I do not, Yes, I do. Actually I speak ebonics,
so do I. I think gay is a language too queer.
I speak M so maybe maybe maybe, But you know,
I don't speak anything outside of English.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
If you could choose another language, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Funny? And gosh, you're gonna get me canceled.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I watch what you said, you know, I want to
say it, but I'm trying to figure out how the
right way to say it.
Speaker 6 (37:20):
So problematic, So I would like to be able to
speak I think my nel tech is Vietnamese, and I
think I will And that's because I want to know
what they're saying when I'm there. Well, I don't know
if they're talking about me, because actually.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
The one that you always go to loves you to death,
but no one three seeds down.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
They're probably talking ship.
Speaker 6 (37:49):
But I would like I would like to know what
they're saying about other people, That's what That's the thing.
I would love to know what those conversations are about
the people who come in. So that's so Vietnamese is
high up there for me. I would also like to
be able to speak in a more realistic I think,
and this is again the social justice in me. I
(38:11):
would also like to be able to speak Spanish because
there are a lot of like where I live in
southern California, there still are a lot of folks who
like are very much in the mind of like, I
don't want to learn English and I'm not going to,
and so it would be very helpful. I feel like
in my work, especially in my line of work of
working in a nonprofit, that I'd be able to speak
to them and translate for them and not feel like
(38:33):
I'm having to wait to get them the services and
the help that they need.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Amber is very good at speaking different languages.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
See, I don't speak any other languages really umber.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
I speak English and Dutch. That's real. Oh I speak.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Signing exact English, which is a dead sign language that
no one speaks anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Oh I be Oh some Spanish, she can get around.
It's that translation for the as L kids in school.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Because what do they call that? Is it conversational Spanish
is what they call it?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah? Yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yeah, I can make myself understood kind of but maybe
that's it.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Is there a language I'm forgetting. I think that's you're
good at learning languages. But I can learn language.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I cannot add or subtract, I cannot find where I
am when I'm at I can learn a language.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I remember once we went to Paris, and you did
an excellent job there. That's true. We we we we we.
I got lost friends, I kid you not.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I got lost and that was the scariest feeling I
ever had. I've never been more afraid than getting lost
on that damn train. And it was rainy, and I
had four bags with me. I didn't know where I was.
I had to get off and call the uber to
take me to Was it Charles de Gaulle, that big
(40:10):
as airport.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, that's what happened to me. I got lost on
the train. Yeah that's that's unpleasant. What wasn't in for meds?
Speaker 3 (40:20):
So you still got open up, got a bad would travel.
Speaker 6 (40:28):
So I have to take so I had to do
something for I heart when I was there. So I
knew going to France that I had to leave France
to go back to New York to do something for iHeart.
And so I had brought some like extra stuff because
I was like, oh, well, if I'm going to be
in New York for the first time, I might as
well just stay there for a week.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
And that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
So I brought basically enough to be able to hold
me for the five days I was in I was
in France and then I went to New York.
Speaker 6 (40:54):
But yeah, I had one of the bags that I
had I bought. I bought a Louis Vaton bag in Paris,
of course, and then I brought the wallet to Alah.
I'm a Louis Aton or every pretty much at this
point every bag I have as a Louis Vaton bag,
and I just try to tell myself I can get
(41:15):
one yearly, that's my cap.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
So that way I don't broke.
Speaker 6 (41:19):
So they're real, like TLC, they are real. I don't
want to go broke.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
I don't want to end up sitting next to Tony
Braxton somewhere.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
But bankrupt is so they're very sustainable.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
The views of Doctor John do not reflect the views
of the Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
They are editors get cut down of state, Like I
don't want anybody getting a season, this sister getting in trouble.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
I know how it goes.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
But I just said, like, we know, people have been
bankrupt because they spin more than they make.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Not any too many.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
No, I have kept I've kept myself at one bag.
Price is good and they're sustainable. My girlfriend owns a
store that sells Chanelle Louis.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Yes, and she's making a killing, so bring it back
and sell it.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
See and also to like so I have on some
balinciagas and I bought them on feebe and I bought
them fee They were on eBay for three hundred and
ten dollars. I need you to get them from my store,
my friend's store. We're talking, okay, be helping her out? Sure, Yeah,
I welcome. I'm very much.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I love a woman. Wait, hold on, is it is it? Omaha? Yes?
It is status bought from her. It's my status lucks. Yes, bitch,
look you so bad? Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Let's do the math real quick. I was like that madlucks. Yes, yes,
my status lucks, and she will.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Get you anything. Let's say you say it.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Oh my god, I can't find this Louis bag. They
continue this five years ago. Christy like, what what you want?
We'll call you man.
Speaker 6 (43:04):
She was trying to get me one this before I
bought the one that I bought from the actual Levton store.
I was there was one that I was looking for
and she founded for me. It was just a little
more expensive than what I wanted to spend and so
but yes, but me and Christy. I have her phone number,
I really do. I have really directly Bill tex.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Her small crazy. I went to high school with so
much ye oh my gosh, love it. Shout out.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I have to point this out. It has been thirty
five minutes. We have not said one word about this show.
Nothing that we are supposed to talk about have we
talked about?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Also, we don't need to.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
We haven't taken a break. Okay, so let's do it now.
Hey everyone, we will we ever get this show back
on track? Who knows, but you're going to find out
after these messages is.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The Lacy message you.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Hey, everybody, we're back with more of the Amber and
Lacy Lacey and Amber show. We got doctor John Paul
with us, and they're a little too cute. I'm sorry,
and that's me talking, but for real, what shut up Lacey?
What a that is so rough in what I just said?
(44:40):
Shut up Lacey? We always we always do that. Shut
up Amber, and then you over pronounce their name. Shut up, Lacey,
and that's how you're roughing. Okay, Lacey Lamar.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Yes, I may. What are we doing? I know what
we're doing. What do we gonna do? What are you saying? No?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
No, no, you say it?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
You got this, you got this?
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Hey, everyone, it's time for sister court. Listen, Lamar is
the defense is the prosecution. And what happened is everybody
emailed in their problems to Amber and Lacy Advice at
gmail dot com, and we are going to read your
(45:28):
problems and we're going to argue about that ship. But
doctor John Paul Higgins is going to bring down the
gavel because they are the judge.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
I'm sorry, Judge, doctor Johnson. I'm just.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Judge, doctor John. Okay, that works, Judge. Where's my gavel?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Where's my gvel? We'll use this bunny rabbit as my nap.
There you go. Hey, Yes, I have a rainbow bunny rabbit. Okay, Lacy,
do you want to read it? You want me to?
I'm going to read this right now. Okay.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Our first dilemma, my husband's family keeps going on trips
without me. A few months ago, I found out all
the women on my husband's side of the family took
a girl's trip. I wouldn't have minded if it was
just the immediate family, but even the in laws went.
It's hard not to feel left out. Now they're planning
a second trip to the same place. They did invite
(46:25):
me this time, but since they invited me halfway through
their planning, I feel like they did it begrudgingly.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Am I looking too much into it? Or am I
right in not wanting to go on this trip? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (46:39):
First of all, can I say I enjoyed this problem
like the silly.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I like it, and the problem is like silly up
to them? It's not silly to them. We have a
little bit too much money. Am I going to have
fun with these people I don't like? Are fun by myself?
That's your problem, right, right, So let's call it what
it is.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Having said that, this is something you should definitely do.
I do think you have to go on this trip,
and I never act like this, but this is the thing,
right You're setting the tone for the rest of your life.
You're trying to get it there. Your kids will pay
for it. Can you smooth out these relationships or what.
(47:21):
And this is what I suggest. If you think that
they don't really want you on this trip, then come
in for a portion of it and leave. And then
what you will have done is you will have raised
your own stock and they'll be like, ooh, you know
who was fun for the three days she was around Karen? Yeah,
I want more of her? Do that shit, or go
(47:42):
and be half available. But don't flood these people with.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
A lot of you. That's a really smart idea.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah, make yourself a hot commodity. Yeah, that's what I think.
Lace Bare, You know I was listening to you.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
I ain't going. I'm not going.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
I'm already man, you know who is president. I'm already
pissed off. You know these women don't like you. Charlotte
don't like you. Charlene don't like you.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
They twins question, husband doesn't like Yes, you sure can.
Is there a race? Is there like a race? Elements
to this or possible? What? You know? What you think
they are?
Speaker 3 (48:29):
What you think because I would have just not I
wouldn't even have rolled in.
Speaker 6 (48:34):
Visa just a simple it's just a simple lady saying
her husband's family don't really fuck with her like that,
and can we cousin?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Are we? Yes? We can? Okay, we can? So yeah
so because I I but I was gonna say so her.
Speaker 6 (48:52):
So, this woman's husband's family doesn't really fuck with her,
has planned things around her, and now they're now she
found out that they've planned something else, and she's saying,
should I even go?
Speaker 2 (49:05):
The question is that she even invited.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
So they invited her last minute? Okay, so last minute,
I'm not going. I'm in fact, I'm gonna be go.
Oh you know what, I already planned a girl's trip,
and whether I have one or not, I'm gonna take
thick ass pictures. I'm gonna be by taking a picture
by a volcano, a bear, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
Oh, I have so much. So I'm gonna go with y'all.
I'm good. I'm ooh shit. Saying I already planned a
trip was pretty good. I already planned a trip.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
I wish you guys would have told me about this
sooner and then maybe see how you feel later. I
am petty LaBelle. I'm not going. I don't have time
to sit. And if you know they don't like you,
can you imagine sitting four days with some bitches that
don't like you. I'm not doing that. Life is too short.
I'm gonna get me some pizza. Not doing it, not
doing it. I would rather sit and watch Netflix, then sit,
(49:54):
then fly, and then I gotta fly. Oh if I
have to fly, I'm not going. I don't. What is
that off to you?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
With you?
Speaker 3 (50:04):
I have to use my Delta skuy priority. No, thank you,
not doing that. No, I'm okay, I'm gonna stay home.
I agree with both of you. I think both of
you have something good there. I think the idea of
going and limiting yourself. But then also you're setting yourself
up in that case too, because then they're gonna say, oh,
she thinks she's better than us, that she can only
hang out for a couple of days. And I do
(50:26):
think I'm better than you, and I think that's often
something that I wish more people said, she thinks she's
better than you, probably, but I would also say I
am also the girl. The younger me would have said, oh, yes,
I'm gonna go for a couple of days because I
don't want to feel like I'm being left out. But
the thirty nine year old doctor John Paul, who's done
(50:47):
a lot of therapy right is right there with you, Lacey.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Fuck y'all. I'm not going, especially if it's to you
seeing that all.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Fuck with you, Hi whoever, if you're listening, please send
them that song and with your reply.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Big shop, thank you. Can you just send them I
don't fuck with you by Big Sean.
Speaker 6 (51:17):
Yeah today, send them a picture of Aretha Franklin, because
you know Aretha didn't really fuck with what's her name,
Patty LaBelle, And so you could send them that gift
of Patty trying to.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Give her a hug and Aretha was pushing her away.
That's literally what you could do. It's really sad.
Speaker 3 (51:36):
I love Patty LaBelle, Yeah, Patty Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Ritha didn't see it for Patty at all.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Do you remember when Patty LaBelle did not sing the
lyrics right to Tina Turner's song when they did the
memorial to Tina Turner and Patti LaBelle messed up what
she was singing and then it was like, I can't
see the teller proper, sorry, Tina.
Speaker 6 (52:05):
Oh damn, did not see that? You also giving it's
giving barefoot? Can Tessa and Martha Stewart, I don't know
they have that, didn't real lady beef. I want to
be rich, that rich one day. Where can she can fight?
Speaker 2 (52:25):
And I know she can.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Just because Martha went to jail. Martha didn't going to
appreciate and do no serious time. Martha didn't learn nothing there.
I am not that woman can fight store bottles feet
Watch this?
Speaker 2 (52:48):
Oh for a living? Watch this?
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
I don't know. Oh that's deep.
Speaker 3 (52:56):
I'm looking this up after this podcast. I'm straight because
I want to. I'm all for that lay one.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
Oh, I'm way go ahead, sorry, go ahead. This woman
don't wear shoes. She can fight. That's all I'm going
to say. Never fight nobody with no shoes on. Okay?
Speaker 3 (53:11):
Is it weird to be nice? This is our next one?
I'm so sorry? Is it weird to be nice to
my Alexa? I've been using my Alexa as a timer
and to answer basic questions. I usually say please and
thank you. Recently, my husband caught me and said it
was a bit weird because it's just the machine, saying
you wouldn't what because it's.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Just the machine. What do you think? Is it weird
to be kind to my Alexa? I have to say that.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
I say please and thank you to the Alexa every
time because when them motherfuckers take over the earth, I
want to be favored.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
I don't want it to kill me. I don't want
it to kill me. Amen to kill me.
Speaker 3 (53:48):
But but Amber and I ambered alive. Several times we
have been like.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Alexa, shut up. I have plussed.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
Alexa up and down, and then I've been like Alexa,
I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
But when you are trying to find the specific Luther
Vandrol song and it plays John bon Jovi for you
want to fight, those are fighting words. Yeah, and you've
said it twelve times and it's still playing live in
on a bread. I can can't even talk if you
(54:25):
don't play the right song.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
And then sometimes you'll ask her a question and she'll go,
you know, I can't under The answer is eleven. Did
you know that if you want to order through the
Alexa app, you can do so by simply saying, Alexa,
please shut up?
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Nobody asked you for that. Shut up, Alex, set the timer? Yeah, weather,
you know, yeah, the weather is nobody.
Speaker 6 (54:55):
Well, the first question is why do you have an
Alexa and not a Surrey? I'm an Apple song. So
my first question to her, I would say I'm an again,
I'm an apples knob. But no, I don't think it's me.
I'm nice to mine. I'm nice to all of my
things in my home.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
Yeah, Amber's very nice to the Ambers. I love that thing.
She tells me the weather and direct can't look at
it on my phone.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
No, right, okay, I have one more, one more. Okay,
it's our turn to host the holidays. And I hate
my in laws and their families. They're loud and rude.
They let their kids run around and scream. Whenever it's
time to clean up. They go to the living space
to drink and watch TV. They never seem grateful for anything.
(55:43):
They're just really rude people. What are your suggestions on
getting through this or should we make up an excuse
to disinvite them over Amber?
Speaker 1 (55:50):
Oh buddy, Okay, there's a couple of different routes she
can go, but one is fuck them kids. Fucking fuck
them kids. You ain't gonna you shouldn't be having them.
We don't let you let your children run all around
my house. Work so hard to get this couch. Now,
your kid got us footee nikes out there? No, cannot
(56:12):
have it.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
No, absolutely, not so that's one way you could do things. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
Another way is maybe you can make like a chart
that's like you bring this, and I'll bring this, and
these are the things we need and I'll cook the turkey,
and you all motherfuckers bring everything else. Then you won't
feel so bad when they don't wash the dishes they
brought because you throw them the fuck out.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
You know. That's one thought.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
But also Thanksgiving is for you too, So if you
not having fun, what are we doing?
Speaker 4 (56:46):
Right?
Speaker 6 (56:47):
That's why I stay home. My question would be I
would ask them who they voted for, and that would
be my reason for either saying yes to them coming
over or no, that's right and right on, you're right on, Yeah,
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah, this
whole episode, we have learned that Lacey's not doing it,
and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (57:06):
I think God damn, I think we asked. But you know,
if they've been saying black people.
Speaker 6 (57:11):
Are reclaiming black women specifically are reclaiming their time, I agree.
I think black women, all black people, specifically black trans women,
but hey say it. We all need to start saying
absolutely not so much more so people coming over to
your house and making a mess and letting their badass
(57:33):
children run around your home.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
To tell away, I'm never letting somebody's bad child run
around my house.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
What is Amberson? No?
Speaker 3 (57:43):
Absolutely, I'm gonna have a little cordon off area where
everybody's in time out.
Speaker 2 (57:50):
You and time out, and you in there with your kids,
go standing there. You got to sit in the garage. No,
I'm putting you in the garage. You sit there if
you like in the garage. Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing it.
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (58:03):
My nephew hasn't been over my new home, and it's
just because we have stairs and we have a lot
of expensive stuff on the second floor. And I love
my nephew, but he doesn't know how to act yet,
and so maybe when he's another year, you're too older.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
When his you can keep these kids, he doesn't care
bumping around.
Speaker 6 (58:21):
No, when he learns how to sit down for more
than ten minutes, I will invite him and my brother over.
But other than that, he's going to stay up where
they live. I love him.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Listeners, what did we learn today?
Speaker 1 (58:35):
We learned that you don't have to do anything you
don't want to do, especially in the year twenty twenty
five in the year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
We're protecting our piece.
Speaker 1 (58:47):
We're saying no, and we're eating pizza, okay, saying no no.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
We're saying no to Carnival.
Speaker 3 (58:58):
Sorry, Carnival Cruise, say annoying relatives, and we say on
badass kids. Amy one of the three call me a
manga Carnival bok wait, wait on the phone. Hang up,
No weird answer and I'm not answering.
Speaker 1 (59:15):
This has been the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.
I'm Amber Ruff and you can find me at Amber
Ruffin across all socials. Lacey, what's your handle, I'm.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
Lacey Lamar and it's Lacy Lamar. One shut up Amber,
Okay there Sean Paul. How do we find you?
Speaker 2 (59:33):
Doc Well?
Speaker 6 (59:33):
When I am not moving about Gotham City, I call
you downtown Los Angeles, Gockham City. When I'm not moving
about Gotthham City, you can find me on.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
You know what.
Speaker 6 (59:45):
So I also I just deactivated my Twitter. Oh I'm
no longer on Twitter, so you can find me at
Blue Sky Just search at doctor John Paul. You can
find me on Instagram blue Sky well threads. Yeah, you
can find me down at the local Pancake House and
Chrispy Green.
Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
I love donuts.
Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
Yeah, but you won't find me on the carnival boat
anytime soon. So yeah, yep, yep. At Doctor John Paul Well, this.
Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Has been the Amber and Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show.
The three of us would like to wish you Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
We'll be doing this for two months. Woman.
Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
The Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show is a
production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sonni super produced
by Becca Ramos.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Because She's a Superhero.
Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd.
Music by David schmol
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