March 12, 2025 • 48 mins
This week Amber and Lacey are joined by new friend Shannon Beveridge, host of the podcast 'Exes and O’s. The three talk Shannon's upcoming tour, queer dating, do Can You Stand It an Sister Court, and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Have you heard about the best show in town? Pull
up now and sit you silve down because it's the Amber,
Lacey lay say an ember shoe. Well, hi, everybody, that
was really beautiful. It was beautiful. It took me a
while to write that. I've been working on that one
for a while. Oh wow, it was worth it. You
(00:24):
see your breaking barriers, my friend. I need to share
a story that I don't think I shared with you.
When I did my last recent road trip with my buddy,
we were driving down the road in the middle of nowhere, laughing,
singing about I mean, we had all the R and
B songs on and just cracking up to the point
(00:47):
where we're crying. And I look at the gas tank
because I'm serious about my gas. Hey, it was just
under a half a tank. And I turned to my
friend I can say her name. I turned to Cam
and I said, we're gonna need to get gas here
pretty soon. And She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was
like a movie. I turned to her and said, we're
(01:08):
out of gas. I said it as cal muskadie. We're
in the middle of nowhere, there's some mountains, there's nothing,
and we were out of gas. We turned the music
back up, singing and laughing and crying and snorting and
acting so and I looked down, Where did time go?
(01:28):
Where did the gas go? But I said it that
com I turned her and I said, we're out of gas,
and she goes it was so funny. I was like, Oh,
how did we not get We said we were going
to get gas. We knew that we were. I make
when I see people on the road that run out
of gas, I go, how does this happen? Never happened
(01:48):
to me. I've never never got on a road trip
and come closer to run out of gas. I don't
joke around. I'm a black woman. We're out in the
middle of nowhere. I'm worried about my safety. I ran
out of gas, amber have you ever? But we did not.
We coasted in on fumes to this little, tiny, scary
gas station and we got our gas. We made it.
But I've never have you ever just run out of gas?
(02:09):
I can't imagine that. I haven't. Yeah, Oh, I mean
I'm sure I have it at some point. What I know,
we got real close in Los Angeles, because in LA
you can't get stuck in traffic for three hours, and
you can run out of gas like that. Let it
be on a hot day, you trying to run your
air conditioning. No, ma'am, no, sir, we don't stuck. We
(02:33):
don't have that enough behind the brask and ain't No
traffic doesn't keep you from runn't run out of gas. No,
that's not happening. You don't run. Yeah, I'm not going
to run on the road. I got to get back
on the road. No, there's nothing like that here. You
can't do that. Oh my goodness. Yeah, but we made it.
But the fact that it was two seconds later. Yeah,
(02:55):
and that's why I do not advocate for horse play. Okay,
yes you do? Like do you do me to moon
these guys? Amber? Do you remember when we used to
write help me on pieces of paper and hold it
up as mom was driving. No one ever stopped to
(03:16):
help us. Say, five kids on their board were being kidnapped,
No one helped us. They're like no one all had
the same face. This is the best case scenario. They
can aped all the children. I don't want to just
kidnap one child. That would be unfair. I want to
(03:38):
kidnap a family. Oh I am really I think you
had said this too I really want a spectacular vacation
where tell everyone exactly where you're going to go and
the time in the day. Ambery, aren't you looking at
a vacation? Aren't you thinking you want to break away?
(04:00):
And where are your three top spots? Lacey and I
went to the d R and we went to Tortuga
Remember Tortuga Bay. That was the best. That was so
much to him. That place is great, great. We have
to talk about it. I mean we talked about this
every day and podcast. I was sick. Guys. Still best
vacation I've ever had. Best. That place ruled. And they
(04:20):
give you a little golf carts around. I love a
good golf cart. I found that out about it. Drove
like she was in Mascar. It was great because you
fall off, you can't really hurt yourself like you can't
in the car. So you got yoa to the road
to put the pedal to the middle. Baby, you really
(04:42):
did go to Tortuga Bay and that was the best time.
And then I recently went back to a place called
Ultra Violetta, and that was in a different city than
Tortuga Bay. But I can't tell you the name of
either city because that's not my ministry. I'm raised on
my ministry. Was it as fun as Tortuoka Bay? Was
(05:03):
it as nice? I don't know it was. I don't
know that a fact that you took a deep breath.
It wasn't the same, I don't I don't think it
was the same. It was one of those resorts that
was close to other resorts. O. The fucking Tortuga Bay
was just Tortuga Bay. So if you want to go
into town, you need to call a car. The car
(05:24):
needs to come get you. You can't walk nowhere. There's
no reason though to go into town. We went into
town and we were not impressed. We just stayed our
butt back on the resort. Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It was.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I mean, we're not let's go visit the town people.
We are watch this. I'm gonna sit down. That's all
we do. I just want to sit down. I did
life about We're sit down people. Well, tell people exactly
where you want to go. But everyone should be telling
us where we should go. That's true. Right in and
(05:57):
tell us your amazing vacation spots. Oh shit. I also
went to a place in Grenada. That place I feel
like it was called Luna, I want to say, and Grenada.
That place was outstanding. It really was. And then you
could get in a canoe and ride around a ridge
to another resort. And that was fun to get around
(06:19):
by canoe. Okay, when you say canoe, you can still
see everything. Yeah, if you fall, you're going to get help, right,
you fall out of this canoe? Where you at? No,
the way you say, yeah, I want to be able
to reach down and touch the ground. That's a type
of canoe I'm in. No, I'm not doing it. I
mean in the ocean. No, No, a whale come up,
(06:40):
knock you down. I ain't doing that. I don't care
about that. I don't care about that canoe. Get me
there on a real ass boat. Okay, chance, Oh no,
you were carne? Mm hm, No, I'm not doing it.
Did you see the man that got swallowed by the
whale and spinning back out? What happened? If it didn't,
that's a terrible way to go. Yeah, he would have
(07:01):
been eaten and he would know that he's delicious. But
now he has to know he's growth. The ocean scares me.
Deep ocean scares me as much as flying does. When
you're watching those movies and they're deep. My stomach goes crazy,
like I'm up in the air. It's just as bad
when a large when a large fish swims by someone
(07:22):
in a movie, like a whale, and they're like this
big no, right exactly. It makes me sick. That second
Avatar that was mostly in the water, and I watched
it in the theater, it made me sick. And I
love Avatar. I loved it, loved the movie. But no
water things deep deep, deep in the water. That's terrifying. Yeah,
(07:43):
I also don't love it. I gotta be honest. I
don't love water stuff. Yeah, fish water stuff doesn't really
like it. Never occurred to me before you just said
this just now, that I could be eaten by a fish.
Never thought of it. Yeah, stay out of that damn canoe.
There was no reason for you to be in a
can It was fun. You asked for a grown ass boat.
I need a fighting chance while I'm in the water
(08:05):
at all times? Am I getting the whole little raft
in the ocean? Are you crazy? But you can walk
next door a canoe? Wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait you kinda walked and you've got in the
deep ocean. See I don't know how we were. I
never wanted to bring this up, but you're adopted. Guys. Lady,
(08:31):
Oh the baby bin, No, it's the trash bin. Oh
with the trash the baby bit sounds fun. You're bad, Okay,
I am, but you know who's good. Today's guest Shannon Beverage.
She's the host of the podcast X's and Nose. You
know her, you love her, and soon we're about to
We'll be right back with more than brand Lacy. Listen
(08:53):
and bo s. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Ambray
and Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show. Our guest today is
(09:15):
Shannon Beveridge. Now. She's the host of the podcast X's
and O's, where she talks about queer relationships and sex.
And while she normally records in her bed, she's taking
a podcast on the road. You can see her on
the Hard Launch tour right now. Hi, Shannon, welcome you.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Hi, how are you? Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You were doing it? We're doing good? Shannon? Are you
in your bed right now?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I wish no. I'm actually in Toronto?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Okay, is it right now? Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I'm on a couch and uh, tonight is my first
show in Toronto.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
So how do you feel? What's Toronto?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I feel good. I have a lot of gay friends
in Toronto, so that makes me feel a little bit
more at ease. They'll all be at the show tonight.
And my guest tonight is like a good friend of mine.
Her name is Leander Earl and she's the lead guitarist
for the band of the Beaches.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
So it does make.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It a little bit less intimidating knowing that I will
be surrounded by friends and on stage with a friend.
So but I say that, now, let's see how I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It's in a bit. No, You're gonna feel great and
you're gonna do even better. How do you feel?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
What?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Tell us a little bit more about the tour? Yeah,
the what are your cities? What's the structure of the show?
You say a guest? Does every show have a special guest?
I hadn't looked question? Answer? Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
The tour is thirteen shows across Canada and America. We
are doing Toronto, New York.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Wait, Shannon, Yeah, why did you roll your eyes when
you said America? Are you from Canada? Why are you
doing so many shows on Canada? And can you get
me a ticket for no? Literally?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Can I just stay here and not come back?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Sorry, Shannon, we will be interrupting you every fifth one. Sorry,
I know.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
No, you guys please interrupt anytime. I'm going to Toronto,
New York, d C Philly, Chicago, Denver, Dallas, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver,
San fran La, Salt Lake City. That's not correct that order,
but those are all the sudden.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They didn't say Nebraska, you didn't say disappointed.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's where we're from, and I feel terrible about that. Okay,
but you know what, more tours in the future.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
All right.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That's the structure of the tour is. It is similar
to my podcast, which is guest Base. Every week I
have a different guest, so every city there's a different guest.
I have one city with a repeat guest, who is
Ali Blair's because she's hilarious and she offered to do
more than one show and I was like, oh my gosh,
please and thank you. But yeah, the structure is pretty
(12:06):
much like it's going to start. It's going to feel
like a podcast episode, but then there's kind of more
games and segments and we're having a lot of crowd interaction.
I really really hope that the show will be not
just like a fun thing to watch, but also to experience.
For I think, like queer people in general right now,
we desperately need safe spaces and also just queer joy
(12:30):
and like a break from the madness for a second. Plus,
you know, I think everybody is interested in finding love
in some way, shape or form, whether it's friendship or romantic.
So we're going to try to create kind of connections
within the crowd as.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Well, so.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That people have community, not just when I'm in town
doing my show.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So oh, that's so sad. I love that. I absolutely
love it. I do have I need some advice, Shannon,
give it to me. And this is not dating it.
This is not dating advice. You're doing a tour, okay,
how are you getting all over it? Are you flying?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
It's mostly flying and driving a little driving.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Are you? Are you brave? Are you not afraid of flying?
How are you handling it? What do you do to
keep yourself? Do you have a secret? What's going on?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I mean I used to never be afraid of flying,
but I don't know what the hell's happening right now. Also,
can I say bad words? You start o get Yeah, obviously,
kind of scary recently with whatever is going on with
the planes. But I think I'm a pretty good traveler.
I've been traveling for a long time. I kind of
just like disassociate and I love to, like, I really
(13:39):
do enjoy that. On a plane, you kind of have
to unplug in some capacity. I mean, now you can
kind of get Wi Fi and stuff, So it feels
like that kind of went away. But I used to
cherish my six hours from LA to New York and
New York to LA some kind of like leave me alone.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
For a second.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
It's nice to have like forced unplugged time.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay, we do have to have that because there is
no time. I tried to watch everyone's favorite show, which
is fucking what's the name? Handsome guy who I love
who is now my friend Sterley K. Brown, and I could.
(14:25):
I watched a few minutes of it, and I was like, oh,
this television show moves at a normal pace. And my
brain is broken because I sit around and I watch TikTok.
I can't watch. I have no attention span. I can't
do it.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
My brain's broken too.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I'm deep into Paradise. I love it. I love it.
I I got back in there. Now, I'm on episode three.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
But it took. I couldn't believe it, and everyone I
know is like, this is the best show ever. And
I kept trying and trying, and then I realized it's TikTok.
Then into a young little child. You turn into a
young little child just watching little videos and laughing and
giggling and dancing with your friends. Dude, it's the algorithm.
(15:10):
I was smart. Now I got real stupid soul groom.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You are. You're a victim of the internet.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Lord, I'm a victim. Oh, thank you. I'm a victim
lazy Okay, the world is happening to me. It's not
my laziness. I'm a victim. Okay. Now I need to
get into your podcast. Give it. You talk about sex
(15:49):
in an explicit manner. Sometimes, yay, how good? You know
that's a I mean sometimes I guess I can't really
get into what I'm about to say. It's been a
little bit. Let's say your person came out when they
(16:10):
were extremely old. Oh, I wonder who she's telling you.
Then there was like a time where you were like, uh, oh,
there's a new way of doing things, and I don't
know what it is. So then you call your best
friend Jenny and she tries to explain it to you
best she can, but there's a lot of trial in herror. Yeah,
I should have really been downloading fucking xs and notes
(16:37):
to just figure it out. To figure Lacey, I think
it might be time to slide out of your dms.
Do you have any dms? Oh? Yes I do? Okay, everyone,
This is a segment called please slide out of Lacey's
d MS. Now, Lacey deep in them apps. People be
(16:58):
messaging her. They are raggedy examined that whole phenomenon, and
please slide out of Lacy's d MS. Hello, everyone, I
need to say that these are real. Look, they're all
really bad. Have we ever had great dms? This one
thought to play a game called guess this common thread
(17:19):
in this on purpose? Okay. This first one says, hey,
I would love to take you out to dinner tonight.
And I'm like, I mean, that's first message. Don't know
you just I would love to take you out to
dinner tonight. And I just said, hello, let's take a
little bit more time to get to know one another,
and he messaged me, never mind, bitch.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
He's right, but how does he know?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
You?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Say? Never mind? Bitch? Yeah yeah, yeah, that's it's pretty
wild okay for him, so well yeah yeah. This next
one says, hey, this is first reading. Hey, when I
saw your post, I really felt like we could be soulmates.
(18:18):
Like really, I feel like you could be my person.
I see a white picket fence and everything. I usually
don't send messages like this, What do you think? And
I said, well, I really don't know you yet, but
let's keep chatting and we'll see. And I get bitch,
that's what that's the I messaged him back, well, I
(18:42):
really don't know you yet. Let's keep chatting and we'll see.
And he messaged me back, bitch, No, I don't know
if yeah, no, this is a different person. This is
a second message, different person, different person, same message. I
don't know if you guys are a kid. I don't
(19:03):
know if you're quite getting out? Could be anything. It
could be anything. My last these two messages, did you
reply anything? Absolutely? Not getting too tired? Getting too tired?
There's a million of you're doing a great job. Okay.
This one hello, Uh, what time are you coming over?
(19:29):
I can stay up all night and I put my
bedtime is nine pm. That's all I do. That's he
put a good night, bitch.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What the hell is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Bitch? Is a common They get you, they don't care,
They go straight to hell. If you just even you
don't even have to be saying anything mean at all.
You can just be or not respond fat if you
do not reach spawn sometimes fast enough, you get a
bitch never mind bitch, or that's okay, you think you're
better than me. I literally sometimes you don't see the
message in time, but it is also a timely thing,
(20:11):
like if you don't respond fast enough, you will get
They will come and get you. Jenna, I don't know
if you figure this out, but she's messaging men.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Started to click early on our.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Predator where we're the only people that are going after
their the natural predators coming to get it. We gotta
be nice to them and see what happens. You're built
to kill us, so we're taking a chance. I'm scared, Lacy.
I beg this of you at least once a week.
(20:51):
I need to give you this one message. But oh sure, absolutely,
I'm gonna try my hardest. I'm sure this week I'm
trying my darned try. I have a message that I
said to my friend because we were having a conversation
about this guy, so I just need you. I only
screenshot her his reply, but basically he asked me out
(21:12):
first message, and I don't have that first message, but
it was just like dinner, like right now, and I said, oh,
let's get to know each other. And he messaged me
never mind, you're lost, bitch, and I corrected it and said,
it's your loss, bitch. But I'm right where I'm supposed
(21:34):
to be, far far away from you, not lost.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
How do we help you?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Correction? I don't know, Shannon, do you see my emergency?
Do you here? You know how the churches used to
like pray you get pray, you like out of it,
like let's come on this retreat. They need that for
straight you are done?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, what's the opposite of coression? Well, gay conversion.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
But I am like into sci fi. There should be
a gay chamber that you just walk in, you know,
it fills up with smoke and then you'll walk out.
I think you were I think you're onto something with praying.
Instead of praying the gay away, we're gonna pray again
in pray it in dear Lord, it's your humble amber refin.
(22:25):
My sister is really going through a time. Open her heart,
dear Lord, and put a lady in there.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Put a lady in there that.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Sounded like a good song. Little little lady there. We
got to tighten it up.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Send it to me. When it's done, I'll put on
my playlist.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, Lacy, I really do believe in you. Okay, Okay,
those are and those are my slide out of Lacey's
d MS. I hope you all enjoyed it. Good job,
I don't know, good job both. Cry climbing is called
(23:13):
cry clapping. Now it's time for a segment that we
did not give Shannon any heads up on. Can you
Stand It? Can You Stand It? Is where we talk
about a person, place, thing, or idea that we've newly
discovered that we would like to talk about on our podcast. Uh,
(23:37):
this could be anything. Lacey, do you do you have yours?
I have one? I think you know. This time, I'm
gonna go first because I actually have two. Okay, so
my first one is about something that's happening in my
house right now. The TV broke, and I also had
(23:59):
a water filled sor thing I could not assemble myself.
But you know who came to save me. Rockland Handyman Services.
Why you should call Rockland Handyman Services and their best
handyman Akiva. Why they're available seven days a week. Oh,
you can find them in fucking Rockland County. I imagine, Uh,
(24:23):
get online and go find them at I'm gonna go
ahead and guess Rocklandhandyman Services dot com. They're my best
friends and I love them and they did me right
I've ever done. Okay out the kid came and was like,
I could be on your podcast. I could talk about
Rockland handy Man's Services. I said, baby, baby, and I
(24:47):
love them so much. You upheld your promise, sweet cake. Okay,
I love them and that's real. That's okay, my new
and I know you got another one, my you can
you stand it? Amber? How much do I love shrimp?
Who do I know? Let me rephrase that. Who do
I love more than shrimp? Yourself? End of list? Maybe
(25:11):
that's it. You're absolutely right. I love shrimp. And I
found a new restaurant in Omaha called Tupelo. Honey, it's
new to me. I've been in New York shrimp and grits,
Shrimp and grits. It is life changing. Whenever I go
there and I leave, they go see you tomorrow, ma'n.
They know I'm going to be back soon. It's delicious.
(25:32):
It's wrong. M I've been to Honey and it was
good as hell. It's so good. I had greens there.
You know everywhere I go, if you choose, I'm trying people.
This is Omaha, Nebraska. So for us, we are dying
over here and this restaurant has brought us back to life. Yeah,
(25:56):
it's been wonderful. It's also beautiful. I have the weirdest story.
I am so sorry, Shannon. It has to be shared
right now in between all of this because I need
your take. Oh, and I know these women are going
to hear me. But I was at a restaurant and
some women came up and they were like, Hey, did
(26:18):
you write that book on racism? And I said, yes,
I did. Shannon listeners. Lacy and I wrote a book
about racism called You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey
Crazy Stories about Racism. It's just a list of all
the funniest racist stories that have happened to Lacey during
her I'm going to say, twenty seven, here's an Omaha
to braskopp and it became a New York Times bestseller. Okay,
(26:39):
it did. So these two ladies come up to me
and they say, hey, we know you wrote the book,
and we know that you come here to eat. Amber.
You know where this place was. I'm not going to
say the name of it, dang it. And I just
said I wasn't gonna say any more restaurant names than
I go to because of this situation. Okay, never mind.
(26:59):
I never have been too blow hang and I'll never
be back. Okay. So they were like, yeah, we always
bring our book here. Oh, we bring our book here
to get signed, and today we don't have it. But
they called us. We told them to call us when
you come. So we came up and can you sign
(27:22):
our bookmarks? Okay, two lovely ladies. I love you guys.
I did I feel threatened in any way? Absolutely not.
They were two nice, lovely ladies. But anybody else can
do that. Now, I gotta be careful. Is that odd? Okay?
I just wonder the request to call and it did not.
It didn't hit me Amber. I was eating my food,
(27:43):
you know me of food. I was in the food.
I signed their little bookmarks, and I was very happy.
We giggled, we laughed, they sat down. I did not
think about it till late that night. Late that night
I thought about hmmm, that's a little bit odd. Yeah,
and here I am saying, I'm never gonna say we're
I eat again. Dang it? Set it out loud. Damn Lacy,
(28:07):
you mentioned that restaurant. Every day life just a little
honey segment out because I can't be getting uh yes,
I lived at this restaurant that we mentioned. Lived there?
Oh nobody them. Now I have to go back at
some point and be like, did you call a human
being and tell them that I entered the restaurant. That's bizarre.
(28:31):
That seems wrong because a strange person could do this too, right,
that's terrifying. List but you know, life a little scared. Okay.
That had nothing to do with can you stand it?
I'm so sorry that I threw that story out. She
had to. Now do you have a can you stand it?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh my gosh, do I what what are like?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Hmmm?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Do you guys ever do like junk pick up up?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
What is this? It's a junk pick up? Oh buddy,
where is that's like lace? Would you get the thing
and they take the jump? Halloway, Absolutely absolutely, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That's my current obception and new favorite thing because I've
been building all this furniture at my house. It looks terrible,
but so many cardboard, cardboard boxes. And then I got
this junk pickup, and I was like, why have I
not done this? For everything I've ever ever done? Like
it was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
So that's on my loving that.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I invented the junk pickup. A lot of people don't
know that that was probably my company that you used.
I love to get rid of some junk. Was it
lace lace? Lace? Was it triple lace? Junk pickup? That
was mine? I also love junk pickup. And you can
(29:54):
tell because a shit in my head in her house
and she's sitting on one of them. In our homes,
nothing home, there's nothing in there. Amber wake up in
a mill and I'd be like, jn't take up right now?
You have nothing less. I can't help that. I don't
like it. I don't like stuff that's so fair. Yes,
(30:16):
I will not okay lace, Yes, everyone the handyman is gone. Okay, Okay,
he did a good job, and he sent me pictures.
All right, okay, and once again that's Rockland handyman. We
don't care, but I I have a another Can you
stand it now? This is just really quick. It is
(30:39):
a brand new This place is brand new. It's not
a brand new place that I found in the mall.
And it's the mall down the street from my house.
It is my favorite place to eat. It's this new
little kitchi new fancy place and the people are so
(31:00):
nice and they bring out this warm bread the second
you sit down, and it has every food you can imagine.
And it's called the Cheesecake Factory. It's the best restaurant
on earth. No one is ever come close to it.
I love it. I'm probably going to go there today,
Love Amber. No one has found me a cheesecape factory.
(31:22):
N the way you talk about it. Too many of them,
you know, is going there. Someone's going every day and
they're looking for you. So I could end up it
anyone you could. I really everyone in the Tri State area. Hahaha.
A bit, yeah, a bit is true. Amber loves the
(31:42):
Cheesecake Factory. I'm with you, mm hmm, yeah, dude, and
that's can you stand it? That's a Hi everyone, welcome
(32:03):
back to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.
Our special guest is star on your name, your name
state Amber. You were like, Amber, it's your name. You
say you probably said that name three point seven million times,
just making a number of never mind, trying to live.
(32:30):
And yet sometimes I start, okay, and that's fine, you're
not allowed to. I'm protecting class. Oh you are, sorry,
protecting the babies at all costs. Okay, I'm a duttering food.
All right. Hey, everyone, it's time for Sister Court Donald
bad O Doo Doo, and Sister Cord. We read emails
(32:52):
that you have sent in because you want these issues
litigated by myself and my sister. Today is guest Shannon
Beverage residing, presiding, precise preside Shannon Beverage. I love that presiding.
It's precieting. I'm sorry, I'm stupid. It's presiding, it's presiding.
(33:13):
It's exciting, is what it is. Let's go to our
first scenario. No no, no, no, no no, now okay,
it is girl Scout cookie time. I love supporting my
friends kids and giving back to the community. But this year.
It feels like I'm being bombarded by people more than usual.
People at work, neighbors, and even family and friends at
(33:35):
parties are all coming up and asking me to buy
the cookies. I want to help all of them, but
I don't have the money to buy from everyone, nor
the will power to not devour all of these cookies
once they're in my house. What is the nice What
is the nicest way to decline buying some of these cookies. Listen,
(33:55):
you come to the door holding a box of cookies.
I got some. I'll get you guys next year, you
practice saying no. Walk around your house for two hours,
say no, fine, no one has ever died. You can
say no one has ever died from saying no to
girl Scott cookies still be fine. There's ten more suckers
like you down the road. That is not the end
(34:17):
of the world. Woman, Trump is president. That's what you say.
You open the door and you like Trump is president
and slam the door. They'll get it. This is not
I hate to say. I'm not going to thank you
for writing in, but this you can say no. You
will not lose a friend. Also, you'll be helping these
children out. Little child and her little uniform. I had
(34:37):
the audacity to go door to door begging for money. Look,
you need to hear no, yeah, be brave enough to
do that in this day and age. No will do
you good.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
That's exposure therapy.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You're fine. But that's just Lacy and Amber. None of
that matters because the verdict will be brought down by
Shannon Beverage LLC. Guys, I don't know what the what
are so, Judge Shannon Beverage. Yeah, but I want the
letters at the end, kp W. Okay, Judge Share Beverage,
(35:10):
kp W.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I think you just say that you already we've already
bought them. Like people aren't expecting you to buy that
many cookies, right, you just say, oh, I already supported
another Girl Scout this year? Done, done, right easy? How
many cookies do they think you're gonna eat?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
It's great. I'm off of that. I do think and
this is real. You should buy a couple of Girl
Scout cookies and put them in the freezer. And then
the next time you have a shark cooterie board, you
put some cookies on there. Because one time me and
Lacy saw should say that was the best thing that
we've ever seen, and it had Girl Scout cookies on it.
(35:53):
I just remember thinking that's so fancy. I thought you
were going to say a special way to say no.
You're like, listen, eat these future say yes at a party. Yes,
Amber said yes, and then make a sharkouterie board. That's
not what what Shannon and I have decided. But also
we all right now this is going to tell the world. Okay,
(36:16):
guys who we are as people after this? What is
your favorite, uh, Girl Scout cookie minus thin mint? Amber?
What's yours? Mine's the one that has Okay, Okay, Shannon,
what is your favorite Samoa's? Yeah? I was gonna say,
(36:41):
but are the best Girl Scout cookie?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Did they change the name of those? I think they
changed it to Caramel Delights? Girl?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Did they they needed to came Delights? Yeah, the Girl
Scouts didn't. I need it. They didn't do it. It's
because there are two different bakeries that produce Girl Scout cookies,
and each uses their own names for the cookies. Samoa
is being used by one and Carmel Delights by the other.
So depending on which bakery or local Girl Scout council
partners with, that's the name. You'll see. I'm that's crazy, Okay,
(37:12):
Can I can I tell my Carmel Delight story?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
You better?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Okay? This is how old Carmel Delights are. I was
working in a drive through at the bank. It's the
bank teller and the drive through, and a lady called
in and they were like you and that bank was
so busy that you could not leave, Like you couldn't
go to the bathroom, like for maybe like two hours.
The line was wrapped around the building. And they came
in and they were like, Lacey, so and so called in,
(37:37):
You're in here for like two hours. And they shut
the door, and I'm like, and this lady came through.
I bought the Carmel Delights from her, through the little
thing she hands them to me. I eat the whole
because I don't get a lunch. I eat the whole
box of Carmel Delights. And when I walk out of
there and I'm going home, I throw up and throw
(38:00):
up and throw up all night long. And I've never
eaten a Caramel Delight since. They were delicious. They were
too too, too delicious. They could have been my favorite.
They could have beaten out the thin mints, but I
reached for the sun. It was like, yeah, your icarus
flew too close. Could I could do this? Also, the
(38:24):
same thing happened with me and cherry donut holes Dad.
I was sick. Dad got me cherry donut holes because
he knew they were my favorite. But the package was
too big and he thought I could self regulate and
I could not. You could not, I him. I ate
the whole thing. I threw it all up.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
I can't decide which one of those sounds is worth
coming back around. Kind of cherry doughnut.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Delight them little then little shards a coconut scratching up
your throat. Listen, wait for eaten something till you threw up?
Oh for sure? Oh what was it?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Nothing is like, I mean nothing, honestly, probably cheeseburgers. Actually,
one time I tried to eat one hundred chicken nuggets
for McDonald's and I did throw that up.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
And I also ate like twelve best friends.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, it was it was a challenge.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
You tried to twelve.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I think I ate twenty five or something anywhere from
McDonald So like, after like ten of them, the texture
is all just one cardboard, like it was not good. Yeah,
I don't work about it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
You're saying that makes me want to try to do it.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Well, it was. It was a challenge on YouTube, like
people were doing it. Yeah back in the day when
there were tags and stuff, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
And were people getting them all?
Speaker 2 (39:48):
People were doing it? Very impressive.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Amber Russian, that was right. Now. If I liked chicken nuggets,
I eat, I eat two hundred just plain your faces
eat too, Amber Nose. I could eat it. I could
eat it. Something is wrong I'm going to eat because
of the amount of food she can eat. It's not
a human being amount of food I have regulator. It's bad. Date.
(40:15):
I just went on a date and I ate. I
had to slow down because I didn't eat all day
and not on purpose. I just got busy. So then
when it came I was like, how do I not
beat him eating my f you know, like being so
I ate? I ate, I ate, and he was eating
so slow. So I was like, sir, if you don't
hurry up and eat this food, And then he was like,
(40:37):
do you have awesome? Yeah? I want your food. Oh
now are you married?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
But I could eat. I could have ate seven of
what we ever we are you know, I mean, we
might still be talking, but I could eat seven of
those bowls of whatever we had. Yeah, I'm not joking.
You can try to slow several people. Yeah, yeah, you
don't really count. You don't really. I'm an alien. What
(41:08):
that explains? I'm an alien? Okay? Do we have time
for one more? Uh? Yeah, Sister Cord, it's getting light. Okay, Now,
how this is another Sister Cord? How should you split
lottery winnings with a partner? I recently won the lottery
and after taxes, it came out to a payout in
the mid six figures. I'm dating someone and I'm not
(41:31):
sure how and if I would split the money with her.
We're living together and split the bills off of our
respected income. I'm not sure if she's the one yet,
say less, which is why I haven't said anything yet.
What should I do? Listen, as soon as you just
already said she's not the one? Yeah, put that money
(41:52):
in your savings account till you find out you have
just give your money to someone you think. That's sorry,
that's my thing, Amber Shannon, do what you will. Take
the money, put it in a high yield savings account. Sorry,
put half of it in a high old savings account.
Then take the other one and put it in stocks
and bonds. It's real. And then well, I mean, definitely
(42:16):
see an adult about what to do with the money,
but put it away. Then break up with this woman.
This was your test. Break leave her alone. She doesn't
have time to be fucking with you. Yeah, here winning
the lottery and not sand shit. So on one level,
fuck you dude, get out of here, leave her alone.
And then on another level, you doing the right thing
(42:36):
by being quiet, But don't be wasting this woman's time,
especially if she's a black woman. Don't waste a blessing.
Set her loose, set her free. We don't have forever.
Find the woman you want to give five hundred thousand
dollars too, and then be with her. Leave this woman,
be love amber love am all right. If that had
(42:58):
been if that had been a woman, and that and
she had been with a girl, right, I'm like, you, dude,
sexism both ways. But it's not up to me, and
it's not up to Lacey. It's up to judge Shannon Beverage.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Else he's killing me. As soon as they said as
soon as they said dating, I'm like, why would you
be splitting money. Do you split your salary with the
person that you're dating. That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
I think.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
And also isn't there like all the research that says
that you shouldn't tell anyone you win the lottery because.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
People tell anybody.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yeah, people get like killed or like people will come
out of the woodworks asking for money. Yeah, put it
away if you if you shouldn't have told, it's not
the love of your life. I feel like if it
was me and it was the love of my life,
I'd be like, you know what, we could redistribute how
we're splitting up the bills a little bit. But I'm
not gonna let memo you four hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Makes absolutely not mm hm, that's what I keep it
a secret. You're right.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I was assuming they were lesbians the whole time, but
I think that's just a personal situation.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I was assuming that as well. I'm surprised Amber did not.
I was assuming they were not lesbians because she didn't
tell her. I'd be like a woman would have told
a man, and a woman would have told a woman,
but a man would be like, you're absolutely right, Yep,
you're absolutely right. Yeah, is there one more, and then
(44:38):
we've got to get out of here. Okay, there is
not one. Okay, free, okay, okay, okay, hold on, okay,
Oh do you need me to read it? I can
find it. Let's find one. Oh no, let's do this one.
How do I handle my boyfriend in restaurants? He always
buys something without knowing what it is, and then is
rute to staff when they bring him exactly but he ordered.
(45:00):
For example, the other week, we were at a restaurant
and he ordered steak tartar. I asked if he knew
what that was, and he said yes, and he was
positive that he wanted it. When the waitress brought his
food out, he immediately started complaining. Apparently my boyfriend's office
steak tartar was steak with tartar sauce. Something like this
happens almost every time we go out to eat. What
(45:22):
do I do? Okay? What you do is the next
time you go out, snatch his ass up and say, listen, fool,
you don't know what food is. You think your cultured,
You're not. What you're gonna do is you're gonna google
what's on the menu before we go, and you're gonna
look to see if you like something, and if you
think you like something, you're in a google to see
(45:42):
what it's made out of. So that you don't embarrass
me again. Embarrass me one more time and see what happens. Amber.
I feel similarly, except I think you should wait for
him to do it again and then go like this,
You didn't know what's thankful? You whop an idiot? You
have you never been on the inside of a restaurant.
(46:03):
Fuck dumb ass, That's what I think. That would stop
from ever doing it again. Wouldn't Oh lord, he wouldn't.
And if you loved him, you would tell him what
he was, which was that's a dumb That's pretty dumb.
That's the dumb ass thing to do, so embarrassing. I
don't like that he's taking it out on the staff,
that's the part I don't mind. Yeah, that shows me
(46:24):
that you're a jerk. You want your food back there
with them and their spit beautiful And.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Also what are they going to do with the steak
tartart like cook it up and bring it back? Yes,
there's not really anything to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Now bold steak criss okay, venting something?
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, I say, break up what should she do and
go to our conversion therapy except a little lady into
your heart because little know at what Steak Tartar is
and or will google it. That's true where they order.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
It the Conversion Therapy campus in Canada, and we will
be led by Amber Ruffin and Shannon Beverage, Judge Shannon Beverage,
KP Day LLC. I love it you guys. We have
been Amber and Lacy and Lacy and Amber and Shannon,
and it's important to remember your future. Your future is this.
(47:28):
You're gonna listen to more of the Amber and Lacy,
Lacy and Amber show. You're gonna listen to X's and
oh Shannon's podcast, and you're gonna go see the show live.
Why because unless you live in Omaha, it's coming. It's
coming to us a town near you. You're gonna see
it and you're gonna have a lot of fun. Also,
we love you. You can find us online. I'm at
(47:52):
Amber Ruffin, Lacey's at Lacy lamar One, Shannon Beverage is
at Shando Bellc LLC.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Much your socialized socials are at now. This is living
on everything.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Okay, there you go. Okay, So I did have it wrong.
I was right to guess. This has been The Amber
and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show. Shannon, thank you for
spending time with us, thank you for having me ye,
and thank you for agreeing to be on every episode.
That's right, she did. Bye bye everyone, We love YOUE bye.
(48:31):
The Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show is a
production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sani, super produced
by Becca Raimos. Because She's a Superhero co produced by
Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by
(48:51):
David schmol
Have you heard about the best show in town? Pull
up now and sit you silve down because it's the Amber,
Lacey lay say an ember shoe. Well, hi, everybody, that
was really beautiful. It was beautiful. It took me a
while to write that. I've been working on that one
for a while. Oh wow, it was worth it. You
(00:24):
see your breaking barriers, my friend. I need to share
a story that I don't think I shared with you.
When I did my last recent road trip with my buddy,
we were driving down the road in the middle of nowhere, laughing,
singing about I mean, we had all the R and
B songs on and just cracking up to the point
(00:47):
where we're crying. And I look at the gas tank
because I'm serious about my gas. Hey, it was just
under a half a tank. And I turned to my
friend I can say her name. I turned to Cam
and I said, we're gonna need to get gas here
pretty soon. And She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was
like a movie. I turned to her and said, we're
(01:08):
out of gas. I said it as cal muskadie. We're
in the middle of nowhere, there's some mountains, there's nothing,
and we were out of gas. We turned the music
back up, singing and laughing and crying and snorting and
acting so and I looked down, Where did time go?
(01:28):
Where did the gas go? But I said it that
com I turned her and I said, we're out of gas,
and she goes it was so funny. I was like, Oh,
how did we not get We said we were going
to get gas. We knew that we were. I make
when I see people on the road that run out
of gas, I go, how does this happen? Never happened
(01:48):
to me. I've never never got on a road trip
and come closer to run out of gas. I don't
joke around. I'm a black woman. We're out in the
middle of nowhere. I'm worried about my safety. I ran
out of gas, amber have you ever? But we did not.
We coasted in on fumes to this little, tiny, scary
gas station and we got our gas. We made it.
But I've never have you ever just run out of gas?
(02:09):
I can't imagine that. I haven't. Yeah, Oh, I mean
I'm sure I have it at some point. What I know,
we got real close in Los Angeles, because in LA
you can't get stuck in traffic for three hours, and
you can run out of gas like that. Let it
be on a hot day, you trying to run your
air conditioning. No, ma'am, no, sir, we don't stuck. We
(02:33):
don't have that enough behind the brask and ain't No
traffic doesn't keep you from runn't run out of gas. No,
that's not happening. You don't run. Yeah, I'm not going
to run on the road. I got to get back
on the road. No, there's nothing like that here. You
can't do that. Oh my goodness. Yeah, but we made it.
But the fact that it was two seconds later. Yeah,
(02:55):
and that's why I do not advocate for horse play. Okay,
yes you do? Like do you do me to moon
these guys? Amber? Do you remember when we used to
write help me on pieces of paper and hold it
up as mom was driving. No one ever stopped to
(03:16):
help us. Say, five kids on their board were being kidnapped,
No one helped us. They're like no one all had
the same face. This is the best case scenario. They
can aped all the children. I don't want to just
kidnap one child. That would be unfair. I want to
(03:38):
kidnap a family. Oh I am really I think you
had said this too I really want a spectacular vacation
where tell everyone exactly where you're going to go and
the time in the day. Ambery, aren't you looking at
a vacation? Aren't you thinking you want to break away?
(04:00):
And where are your three top spots? Lacey and I
went to the d R and we went to Tortuga
Remember Tortuga Bay. That was the best. That was so
much to him. That place is great, great. We have
to talk about it. I mean we talked about this
every day and podcast. I was sick. Guys. Still best
vacation I've ever had. Best. That place ruled. And they
(04:20):
give you a little golf carts around. I love a
good golf cart. I found that out about it. Drove
like she was in Mascar. It was great because you
fall off, you can't really hurt yourself like you can't
in the car. So you got yoa to the road
to put the pedal to the middle. Baby, you really
(04:42):
did go to Tortuga Bay and that was the best time.
And then I recently went back to a place called
Ultra Violetta, and that was in a different city than
Tortuga Bay. But I can't tell you the name of
either city because that's not my ministry. I'm raised on
my ministry. Was it as fun as Tortuoka Bay? Was
(05:03):
it as nice? I don't know it was. I don't
know that a fact that you took a deep breath.
It wasn't the same, I don't I don't think it
was the same. It was one of those resorts that
was close to other resorts. O. The fucking Tortuga Bay
was just Tortuga Bay. So if you want to go
into town, you need to call a car. The car
(05:24):
needs to come get you. You can't walk nowhere. There's
no reason though to go into town. We went into
town and we were not impressed. We just stayed our
butt back on the resort. Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It was.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I mean, we're not let's go visit the town people.
We are watch this. I'm gonna sit down. That's all
we do. I just want to sit down. I did
life about We're sit down people. Well, tell people exactly
where you want to go. But everyone should be telling
us where we should go. That's true. Right in and
(05:57):
tell us your amazing vacation spots. Oh shit. I also
went to a place in Grenada. That place I feel
like it was called Luna, I want to say, and Grenada.
That place was outstanding. It really was. And then you
could get in a canoe and ride around a ridge
to another resort. And that was fun to get around
(06:19):
by canoe. Okay, when you say canoe, you can still
see everything. Yeah, if you fall, you're going to get help, right,
you fall out of this canoe? Where you at? No,
the way you say, yeah, I want to be able
to reach down and touch the ground. That's a type
of canoe I'm in. No, I'm not doing it. I
mean in the ocean. No, No, a whale come up,
(06:40):
knock you down. I ain't doing that. I don't care
about that. I don't care about that canoe. Get me
there on a real ass boat. Okay, chance, Oh no,
you were carne? Mm hm, No, I'm not doing it.
Did you see the man that got swallowed by the
whale and spinning back out? What happened? If it didn't,
that's a terrible way to go. Yeah, he would have
(07:01):
been eaten and he would know that he's delicious. But
now he has to know he's growth. The ocean scares me.
Deep ocean scares me as much as flying does. When
you're watching those movies and they're deep. My stomach goes crazy,
like I'm up in the air. It's just as bad
when a large when a large fish swims by someone
(07:22):
in a movie, like a whale, and they're like this
big no, right exactly. It makes me sick. That second
Avatar that was mostly in the water, and I watched
it in the theater, it made me sick. And I
love Avatar. I loved it, loved the movie. But no
water things deep deep, deep in the water. That's terrifying. Yeah,
(07:43):
I also don't love it. I gotta be honest. I
don't love water stuff. Yeah, fish water stuff doesn't really
like it. Never occurred to me before you just said
this just now, that I could be eaten by a fish.
Never thought of it. Yeah, stay out of that damn canoe.
There was no reason for you to be in a
can It was fun. You asked for a grown ass boat.
I need a fighting chance while I'm in the water
(08:05):
at all times? Am I getting the whole little raft
in the ocean? Are you crazy? But you can walk
next door a canoe? Wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait you kinda walked and you've got in the
deep ocean. See I don't know how we were. I
never wanted to bring this up, but you're adopted. Guys. Lady,
(08:31):
Oh the baby bin, No, it's the trash bin. Oh
with the trash the baby bit sounds fun. You're bad, Okay,
I am, but you know who's good. Today's guest Shannon Beverage.
She's the host of the podcast X's and Nose. You
know her, you love her, and soon we're about to
We'll be right back with more than brand Lacy. Listen
(08:53):
and bo s. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Ambray
and Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show. Our guest today is
(09:15):
Shannon Beveridge. Now. She's the host of the podcast X's
and O's, where she talks about queer relationships and sex.
And while she normally records in her bed, she's taking
a podcast on the road. You can see her on
the Hard Launch tour right now. Hi, Shannon, welcome you.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Hi, how are you? Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You were doing it? We're doing good? Shannon? Are you
in your bed right now?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I wish no. I'm actually in Toronto?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Okay, is it right now? Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I'm on a couch and uh, tonight is my first
show in Toronto.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
So how do you feel? What's Toronto?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I feel good. I have a lot of gay friends
in Toronto, so that makes me feel a little bit
more at ease. They'll all be at the show tonight.
And my guest tonight is like a good friend of mine.
Her name is Leander Earl and she's the lead guitarist
for the band of the Beaches.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
So it does make.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It a little bit less intimidating knowing that I will
be surrounded by friends and on stage with a friend.
So but I say that, now, let's see how I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It's in a bit. No, You're gonna feel great and
you're gonna do even better. How do you feel?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
What?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Tell us a little bit more about the tour? Yeah,
the what are your cities? What's the structure of the show?
You say a guest? Does every show have a special guest?
I hadn't looked question? Answer? Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
The tour is thirteen shows across Canada and America. We
are doing Toronto, New York.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Wait, Shannon, Yeah, why did you roll your eyes when
you said America? Are you from Canada? Why are you
doing so many shows on Canada? And can you get
me a ticket for no? Literally?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Can I just stay here and not come back?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Sorry, Shannon, we will be interrupting you every fifth one. Sorry,
I know.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
No, you guys please interrupt anytime. I'm going to Toronto,
New York, d C Philly, Chicago, Denver, Dallas, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver,
San fran La, Salt Lake City. That's not correct that order,
but those are all the sudden.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They didn't say Nebraska, you didn't say disappointed.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's where we're from, and I feel terrible about that. Okay,
but you know what, more tours in the future.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
All right.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That's the structure of the tour is. It is similar
to my podcast, which is guest Base. Every week I
have a different guest, so every city there's a different guest.
I have one city with a repeat guest, who is
Ali Blair's because she's hilarious and she offered to do
more than one show and I was like, oh my gosh,
please and thank you. But yeah, the structure is pretty
(12:06):
much like it's going to start. It's going to feel
like a podcast episode, but then there's kind of more
games and segments and we're having a lot of crowd interaction.
I really really hope that the show will be not
just like a fun thing to watch, but also to experience.
For I think, like queer people in general right now,
we desperately need safe spaces and also just queer joy
(12:30):
and like a break from the madness for a second. Plus,
you know, I think everybody is interested in finding love
in some way, shape or form, whether it's friendship or romantic.
So we're going to try to create kind of connections
within the crowd as.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Well, so.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That people have community, not just when I'm in town
doing my show.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So oh, that's so sad. I love that. I absolutely
love it. I do have I need some advice, Shannon,
give it to me. And this is not dating it.
This is not dating advice. You're doing a tour, okay,
how are you getting all over it? Are you flying?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
It's mostly flying and driving a little driving.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Are you? Are you brave? Are you not afraid of flying?
How are you handling it? What do you do to
keep yourself? Do you have a secret? What's going on?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I mean I used to never be afraid of flying,
but I don't know what the hell's happening right now. Also,
can I say bad words? You start o get Yeah, obviously,
kind of scary recently with whatever is going on with
the planes. But I think I'm a pretty good traveler.
I've been traveling for a long time. I kind of
just like disassociate and I love to, like, I really
(13:39):
do enjoy that. On a plane, you kind of have
to unplug in some capacity. I mean, now you can
kind of get Wi Fi and stuff, So it feels
like that kind of went away. But I used to
cherish my six hours from LA to New York and
New York to LA some kind of like leave me alone.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
For a second.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
It's nice to have like forced unplugged time.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay, we do have to have that because there is
no time. I tried to watch everyone's favorite show, which
is fucking what's the name? Handsome guy who I love
who is now my friend Sterley K. Brown, and I could.
(14:25):
I watched a few minutes of it, and I was like, oh,
this television show moves at a normal pace. And my
brain is broken because I sit around and I watch TikTok.
I can't watch. I have no attention span. I can't
do it.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
My brain's broken too.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I'm deep into Paradise. I love it. I love it.
I I got back in there. Now, I'm on episode three.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
But it took. I couldn't believe it, and everyone I
know is like, this is the best show ever. And
I kept trying and trying, and then I realized it's TikTok.
Then into a young little child. You turn into a
young little child just watching little videos and laughing and
giggling and dancing with your friends. Dude, it's the algorithm.
(15:10):
I was smart. Now I got real stupid soul groom.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You are. You're a victim of the internet.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Lord, I'm a victim. Oh, thank you. I'm a victim
lazy Okay, the world is happening to me. It's not
my laziness. I'm a victim. Okay. Now I need to
get into your podcast. Give it. You talk about sex
(15:49):
in an explicit manner. Sometimes, yay, how good? You know
that's a I mean sometimes I guess I can't really
get into what I'm about to say. It's been a
little bit. Let's say your person came out when they
(16:10):
were extremely old. Oh, I wonder who she's telling you.
Then there was like a time where you were like, uh, oh,
there's a new way of doing things, and I don't
know what it is. So then you call your best
friend Jenny and she tries to explain it to you
best she can, but there's a lot of trial in herror. Yeah,
I should have really been downloading fucking xs and notes
(16:37):
to just figure it out. To figure Lacey, I think
it might be time to slide out of your dms.
Do you have any dms? Oh? Yes I do? Okay, everyone,
This is a segment called please slide out of Lacey's
d MS. Now, Lacey deep in them apps. People be
(16:58):
messaging her. They are raggedy examined that whole phenomenon, and
please slide out of Lacy's d MS. Hello, everyone, I
need to say that these are real. Look, they're all
really bad. Have we ever had great dms? This one
thought to play a game called guess this common thread
(17:19):
in this on purpose? Okay. This first one says, hey,
I would love to take you out to dinner tonight.
And I'm like, I mean, that's first message. Don't know
you just I would love to take you out to
dinner tonight. And I just said, hello, let's take a
little bit more time to get to know one another,
and he messaged me, never mind, bitch.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
He's right, but how does he know?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
You?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Say? Never mind? Bitch? Yeah yeah, yeah, that's it's pretty
wild okay for him, so well yeah yeah. This next
one says, hey, this is first reading. Hey, when I
saw your post, I really felt like we could be soulmates.
(18:18):
Like really, I feel like you could be my person.
I see a white picket fence and everything. I usually
don't send messages like this, What do you think? And
I said, well, I really don't know you yet, but
let's keep chatting and we'll see. And I get bitch,
that's what that's the I messaged him back, well, I
(18:42):
really don't know you yet. Let's keep chatting and we'll see.
And he messaged me back, bitch, No, I don't know
if yeah, no, this is a different person. This is
a second message, different person, different person, same message. I
don't know if you guys are a kid. I don't
(19:03):
know if you're quite getting out? Could be anything. It
could be anything. My last these two messages, did you
reply anything? Absolutely? Not getting too tired? Getting too tired?
There's a million of you're doing a great job. Okay.
This one hello, Uh, what time are you coming over?
(19:29):
I can stay up all night and I put my
bedtime is nine pm. That's all I do. That's he
put a good night, bitch.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
What the hell is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Bitch? Is a common They get you, they don't care,
They go straight to hell. If you just even you
don't even have to be saying anything mean at all.
You can just be or not respond fat if you
do not reach spawn sometimes fast enough, you get a
bitch never mind bitch, or that's okay, you think you're
better than me. I literally sometimes you don't see the
message in time, but it is also a timely thing,
(20:11):
like if you don't respond fast enough, you will get
They will come and get you. Jenna, I don't know
if you figure this out, but she's messaging men.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Started to click early on our.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Predator where we're the only people that are going after
their the natural predators coming to get it. We gotta
be nice to them and see what happens. You're built
to kill us, so we're taking a chance. I'm scared, Lacy.
I beg this of you at least once a week.
(20:51):
I need to give you this one message. But oh sure, absolutely,
I'm gonna try my hardest. I'm sure this week I'm
trying my darned try. I have a message that I
said to my friend because we were having a conversation
about this guy, so I just need you. I only
screenshot her his reply, but basically he asked me out
(21:12):
first message, and I don't have that first message, but
it was just like dinner, like right now, and I said, oh,
let's get to know each other. And he messaged me
never mind, you're lost, bitch, and I corrected it and said,
it's your loss, bitch. But I'm right where I'm supposed
(21:34):
to be, far far away from you, not lost.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
How do we help you?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Correction? I don't know, Shannon, do you see my emergency?
Do you here? You know how the churches used to
like pray you get pray, you like out of it,
like let's come on this retreat. They need that for
straight you are done?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, what's the opposite of coression? Well, gay conversion.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
But I am like into sci fi. There should be
a gay chamber that you just walk in, you know,
it fills up with smoke and then you'll walk out.
I think you were I think you're onto something with praying.
Instead of praying the gay away, we're gonna pray again
in pray it in dear Lord, it's your humble amber refin.
(22:25):
My sister is really going through a time. Open her heart,
dear Lord, and put a lady in there.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Put a lady in there that.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Sounded like a good song. Little little lady there. We
got to tighten it up.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Send it to me. When it's done, I'll put on
my playlist.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, Lacy, I really do believe in you. Okay, Okay,
those are and those are my slide out of Lacey's
d MS. I hope you all enjoyed it. Good job,
I don't know, good job both. Cry climbing is called
(23:13):
cry clapping. Now it's time for a segment that we
did not give Shannon any heads up on. Can you
Stand It? Can You Stand It? Is where we talk
about a person, place, thing, or idea that we've newly
discovered that we would like to talk about on our podcast. Uh,
(23:37):
this could be anything. Lacey, do you do you have yours?
I have one? I think you know. This time, I'm
gonna go first because I actually have two. Okay, so
my first one is about something that's happening in my
house right now. The TV broke, and I also had
(23:59):
a water filled sor thing I could not assemble myself.
But you know who came to save me. Rockland Handyman Services.
Why you should call Rockland Handyman Services and their best
handyman Akiva. Why they're available seven days a week. Oh,
you can find them in fucking Rockland County. I imagine, Uh,
(24:23):
get online and go find them at I'm gonna go
ahead and guess Rocklandhandyman Services dot com. They're my best
friends and I love them and they did me right
I've ever done. Okay out the kid came and was like,
I could be on your podcast. I could talk about
Rockland handy Man's Services. I said, baby, baby, and I
(24:47):
love them so much. You upheld your promise, sweet cake. Okay,
I love them and that's real. That's okay, my new
and I know you got another one, my you can
you stand it? Amber? How much do I love shrimp?
Who do I know? Let me rephrase that. Who do
I love more than shrimp? Yourself? End of list? Maybe
(25:11):
that's it. You're absolutely right. I love shrimp. And I
found a new restaurant in Omaha called Tupelo. Honey, it's
new to me. I've been in New York shrimp and grits,
Shrimp and grits. It is life changing. Whenever I go
there and I leave, they go see you tomorrow, ma'n.
They know I'm going to be back soon. It's delicious.
(25:32):
It's wrong. M I've been to Honey and it was
good as hell. It's so good. I had greens there.
You know everywhere I go, if you choose, I'm trying people.
This is Omaha, Nebraska. So for us, we are dying
over here and this restaurant has brought us back to life. Yeah,
(25:56):
it's been wonderful. It's also beautiful. I have the weirdest story.
I am so sorry, Shannon. It has to be shared
right now in between all of this because I need
your take. Oh, and I know these women are going
to hear me. But I was at a restaurant and
some women came up and they were like, Hey, did
(26:18):
you write that book on racism? And I said, yes,
I did. Shannon listeners. Lacy and I wrote a book
about racism called You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey
Crazy Stories about Racism. It's just a list of all
the funniest racist stories that have happened to Lacey during
her I'm going to say, twenty seven, here's an Omaha
to braskopp and it became a New York Times bestseller. Okay,
(26:39):
it did. So these two ladies come up to me
and they say, hey, we know you wrote the book,
and we know that you come here to eat. Amber.
You know where this place was. I'm not going to
say the name of it, dang it. And I just
said I wasn't gonna say any more restaurant names than
I go to because of this situation. Okay, never mind.
(26:59):
I never have been too blow hang and I'll never
be back. Okay. So they were like, yeah, we always
bring our book here. Oh, we bring our book here
to get signed, and today we don't have it. But
they called us. We told them to call us when
you come. So we came up and can you sign
(27:22):
our bookmarks? Okay, two lovely ladies. I love you guys.
I did I feel threatened in any way? Absolutely not.
They were two nice, lovely ladies. But anybody else can
do that. Now, I gotta be careful. Is that odd? Okay?
I just wonder the request to call and it did not.
It didn't hit me Amber. I was eating my food,
(27:43):
you know me of food. I was in the food.
I signed their little bookmarks, and I was very happy.
We giggled, we laughed, they sat down. I did not
think about it till late that night. Late that night
I thought about hmmm, that's a little bit odd. Yeah,
and here I am saying, I'm never gonna say we're
I eat again. Dang it? Set it out loud. Damn Lacy,
(28:07):
you mentioned that restaurant. Every day life just a little
honey segment out because I can't be getting uh yes,
I lived at this restaurant that we mentioned. Lived there?
Oh nobody them. Now I have to go back at
some point and be like, did you call a human
being and tell them that I entered the restaurant. That's bizarre.
(28:31):
That seems wrong because a strange person could do this too, right,
that's terrifying. List but you know, life a little scared. Okay.
That had nothing to do with can you stand it?
I'm so sorry that I threw that story out. She
had to. Now do you have a can you stand it?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh my gosh, do I what what are like?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Hmmm?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Do you guys ever do like junk pick up up?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
What is this? It's a junk pick up? Oh buddy,
where is that's like lace? Would you get the thing
and they take the jump? Halloway, Absolutely absolutely, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That's my current obception and new favorite thing because I've
been building all this furniture at my house. It looks terrible,
but so many cardboard, cardboard boxes. And then I got
this junk pickup, and I was like, why have I
not done this? For everything I've ever ever done? Like
it was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
So that's on my loving that.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I invented the junk pickup. A lot of people don't
know that that was probably my company that you used.
I love to get rid of some junk. Was it
lace lace? Lace? Was it triple lace? Junk pickup? That
was mine? I also love junk pickup. And you can
(29:54):
tell because a shit in my head in her house
and she's sitting on one of them. In our homes,
nothing home, there's nothing in there. Amber wake up in
a mill and I'd be like, jn't take up right now?
You have nothing less. I can't help that. I don't
like it. I don't like stuff that's so fair. Yes,
(30:16):
I will not okay lace, Yes, everyone the handyman is gone. Okay, Okay,
he did a good job, and he sent me pictures.
All right, okay, and once again that's Rockland handyman. We
don't care, but I I have a another Can you
stand it now? This is just really quick. It is
(30:39):
a brand new This place is brand new. It's not
a brand new place that I found in the mall.
And it's the mall down the street from my house.
It is my favorite place to eat. It's this new
little kitchi new fancy place and the people are so
(31:00):
nice and they bring out this warm bread the second
you sit down, and it has every food you can imagine.
And it's called the Cheesecake Factory. It's the best restaurant
on earth. No one is ever come close to it.
I love it. I'm probably going to go there today,
Love Amber. No one has found me a cheesecape factory.
(31:22):
N the way you talk about it. Too many of them,
you know, is going there. Someone's going every day and
they're looking for you. So I could end up it
anyone you could. I really everyone in the Tri State area. Hahaha.
A bit, yeah, a bit is true. Amber loves the
(31:42):
Cheesecake Factory. I'm with you, mm hmm, yeah, dude, and
that's can you stand it? That's a Hi everyone, welcome
(32:03):
back to the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.
Our special guest is star on your name, your name
state Amber. You were like, Amber, it's your name. You
say you probably said that name three point seven million times,
just making a number of never mind, trying to live.
(32:30):
And yet sometimes I start, okay, and that's fine, you're
not allowed to. I'm protecting class. Oh you are, sorry,
protecting the babies at all costs. Okay, I'm a duttering food.
All right. Hey, everyone, it's time for Sister Court Donald
bad O Doo Doo, and Sister Cord. We read emails
(32:52):
that you have sent in because you want these issues
litigated by myself and my sister. Today is guest Shannon
Beverage residing, presiding, precise preside Shannon Beverage. I love that presiding.
It's precieting. I'm sorry, I'm stupid. It's presiding, it's presiding.
(33:13):
It's exciting, is what it is. Let's go to our
first scenario. No no, no, no, no no, now okay,
it is girl Scout cookie time. I love supporting my
friends kids and giving back to the community. But this year.
It feels like I'm being bombarded by people more than usual.
People at work, neighbors, and even family and friends at
(33:35):
parties are all coming up and asking me to buy
the cookies. I want to help all of them, but
I don't have the money to buy from everyone, nor
the will power to not devour all of these cookies
once they're in my house. What is the nice What
is the nicest way to decline buying some of these cookies. Listen,
(33:55):
you come to the door holding a box of cookies.
I got some. I'll get you guys next year, you
practice saying no. Walk around your house for two hours,
say no, fine, no one has ever died. You can
say no one has ever died from saying no to
girl Scott cookies still be fine. There's ten more suckers
like you down the road. That is not the end
(34:17):
of the world. Woman, Trump is president. That's what you say.
You open the door and you like Trump is president
and slam the door. They'll get it. This is not
I hate to say. I'm not going to thank you
for writing in, but this you can say no. You
will not lose a friend. Also, you'll be helping these
children out. Little child and her little uniform. I had
(34:37):
the audacity to go door to door begging for money. Look,
you need to hear no, yeah, be brave enough to
do that in this day and age. No will do
you good.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
That's exposure therapy.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You're fine. But that's just Lacy and Amber. None of
that matters because the verdict will be brought down by
Shannon Beverage LLC. Guys, I don't know what the what
are so, Judge Shannon Beverage. Yeah, but I want the
letters at the end, kp W. Okay, Judge Share Beverage,
(35:10):
kp W.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I think you just say that you already we've already
bought them. Like people aren't expecting you to buy that
many cookies, right, you just say, oh, I already supported
another Girl Scout this year? Done, done, right easy? How
many cookies do they think you're gonna eat?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
It's great. I'm off of that. I do think and
this is real. You should buy a couple of Girl
Scout cookies and put them in the freezer. And then
the next time you have a shark cooterie board, you
put some cookies on there. Because one time me and
Lacy saw should say that was the best thing that
we've ever seen, and it had Girl Scout cookies on it.
(35:53):
I just remember thinking that's so fancy. I thought you
were going to say a special way to say no.
You're like, listen, eat these future say yes at a party. Yes,
Amber said yes, and then make a sharkouterie board. That's
not what what Shannon and I have decided. But also
we all right now this is going to tell the world. Okay,
(36:16):
guys who we are as people after this? What is
your favorite, uh, Girl Scout cookie minus thin mint? Amber?
What's yours? Mine's the one that has Okay, Okay, Shannon,
what is your favorite Samoa's? Yeah? I was gonna say,
(36:41):
but are the best Girl Scout cookie?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Did they change the name of those? I think they
changed it to Caramel Delights? Girl?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Did they they needed to came Delights? Yeah, the Girl
Scouts didn't. I need it. They didn't do it. It's
because there are two different bakeries that produce Girl Scout cookies,
and each uses their own names for the cookies. Samoa
is being used by one and Carmel Delights by the other.
So depending on which bakery or local Girl Scout council
partners with, that's the name. You'll see. I'm that's crazy, Okay,
(37:12):
Can I can I tell my Carmel Delight story?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
You better?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Okay? This is how old Carmel Delights are. I was
working in a drive through at the bank. It's the
bank teller and the drive through, and a lady called
in and they were like you and that bank was
so busy that you could not leave, Like you couldn't
go to the bathroom, like for maybe like two hours.
The line was wrapped around the building. And they came
in and they were like, Lacey, so and so called in,
(37:37):
You're in here for like two hours. And they shut
the door, and I'm like, and this lady came through.
I bought the Carmel Delights from her, through the little
thing she hands them to me. I eat the whole
because I don't get a lunch. I eat the whole
box of Carmel Delights. And when I walk out of
there and I'm going home, I throw up and throw
(38:00):
up and throw up all night long. And I've never
eaten a Caramel Delight since. They were delicious. They were
too too, too delicious. They could have been my favorite.
They could have beaten out the thin mints, but I
reached for the sun. It was like, yeah, your icarus
flew too close. Could I could do this? Also, the
(38:24):
same thing happened with me and cherry donut holes Dad.
I was sick. Dad got me cherry donut holes because
he knew they were my favorite. But the package was
too big and he thought I could self regulate and
I could not. You could not, I him. I ate
the whole thing. I threw it all up.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
I can't decide which one of those sounds is worth
coming back around. Kind of cherry doughnut.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Delight them little then little shards a coconut scratching up
your throat. Listen, wait for eaten something till you threw up?
Oh for sure? Oh what was it?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Nothing is like, I mean nothing, honestly, probably cheeseburgers. Actually,
one time I tried to eat one hundred chicken nuggets
for McDonald's and I did throw that up.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
And I also ate like twelve best friends.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, it was it was a challenge.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
You tried to twelve.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I think I ate twenty five or something anywhere from
McDonald So like, after like ten of them, the texture
is all just one cardboard, like it was not good. Yeah,
I don't work about it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
You're saying that makes me want to try to do it.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Well, it was. It was a challenge on YouTube, like
people were doing it. Yeah back in the day when
there were tags and stuff, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
And were people getting them all?
Speaker 2 (39:48):
People were doing it? Very impressive.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Amber Russian, that was right. Now. If I liked chicken nuggets,
I eat, I eat two hundred just plain your faces
eat too, Amber Nose. I could eat it. I could
eat it. Something is wrong I'm going to eat because
of the amount of food she can eat. It's not
a human being amount of food I have regulator. It's bad. Date.
(40:15):
I just went on a date and I ate. I
had to slow down because I didn't eat all day
and not on purpose. I just got busy. So then
when it came I was like, how do I not
beat him eating my f you know, like being so
I ate? I ate, I ate, and he was eating
so slow. So I was like, sir, if you don't
hurry up and eat this food, And then he was like,
(40:37):
do you have awesome? Yeah? I want your food. Oh
now are you married?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
But I could eat. I could have ate seven of
what we ever we are you know, I mean, we
might still be talking, but I could eat seven of
those bowls of whatever we had. Yeah, I'm not joking.
You can try to slow several people. Yeah, yeah, you
don't really count. You don't really. I'm an alien. What
(41:08):
that explains? I'm an alien? Okay? Do we have time
for one more? Uh? Yeah, Sister Cord, it's getting light. Okay, Now,
how this is another Sister Cord? How should you split
lottery winnings with a partner? I recently won the lottery
and after taxes, it came out to a payout in
the mid six figures. I'm dating someone and I'm not
(41:31):
sure how and if I would split the money with her.
We're living together and split the bills off of our
respected income. I'm not sure if she's the one yet,
say less, which is why I haven't said anything yet.
What should I do? Listen, as soon as you just
already said she's not the one? Yeah, put that money
(41:52):
in your savings account till you find out you have
just give your money to someone you think. That's sorry,
that's my thing, Amber Shannon, do what you will. Take
the money, put it in a high yield savings account. Sorry,
put half of it in a high old savings account.
Then take the other one and put it in stocks
and bonds. It's real. And then well, I mean, definitely
(42:16):
see an adult about what to do with the money,
but put it away. Then break up with this woman.
This was your test. Break leave her alone. She doesn't
have time to be fucking with you. Yeah, here winning
the lottery and not sand shit. So on one level,
fuck you dude, get out of here, leave her alone.
And then on another level, you doing the right thing
(42:36):
by being quiet, But don't be wasting this woman's time,
especially if she's a black woman. Don't waste a blessing.
Set her loose, set her free. We don't have forever.
Find the woman you want to give five hundred thousand
dollars too, and then be with her. Leave this woman,
be love amber love am all right. If that had
(42:58):
been if that had been a woman, and that and
she had been with a girl, right, I'm like, you, dude,
sexism both ways. But it's not up to me, and
it's not up to Lacey. It's up to judge Shannon Beverage.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Else he's killing me. As soon as they said as
soon as they said dating, I'm like, why would you
be splitting money. Do you split your salary with the
person that you're dating. That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
I think.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
And also isn't there like all the research that says
that you shouldn't tell anyone you win the lottery because.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
People tell anybody.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yeah, people get like killed or like people will come
out of the woodworks asking for money. Yeah, put it
away if you if you shouldn't have told, it's not
the love of your life. I feel like if it
was me and it was the love of my life,
I'd be like, you know what, we could redistribute how
we're splitting up the bills a little bit. But I'm
not gonna let memo you four hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Makes absolutely not mm hm, that's what I keep it
a secret. You're right.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I was assuming they were lesbians the whole time, but
I think that's just a personal situation.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I was assuming that as well. I'm surprised Amber did not.
I was assuming they were not lesbians because she didn't
tell her. I'd be like a woman would have told
a man, and a woman would have told a woman,
but a man would be like, you're absolutely right, Yep,
you're absolutely right. Yeah, is there one more, and then
(44:38):
we've got to get out of here. Okay, there is
not one. Okay, free, okay, okay, okay, hold on, okay,
Oh do you need me to read it? I can
find it. Let's find one. Oh no, let's do this one.
How do I handle my boyfriend in restaurants? He always
buys something without knowing what it is, and then is
rute to staff when they bring him exactly but he ordered.
(45:00):
For example, the other week, we were at a restaurant
and he ordered steak tartar. I asked if he knew
what that was, and he said yes, and he was
positive that he wanted it. When the waitress brought his
food out, he immediately started complaining. Apparently my boyfriend's office
steak tartar was steak with tartar sauce. Something like this
happens almost every time we go out to eat. What
(45:22):
do I do? Okay? What you do is the next
time you go out, snatch his ass up and say, listen, fool,
you don't know what food is. You think your cultured,
You're not. What you're gonna do is you're gonna google
what's on the menu before we go, and you're gonna
look to see if you like something, and if you
think you like something, you're in a google to see
(45:42):
what it's made out of. So that you don't embarrass
me again. Embarrass me one more time and see what happens. Amber.
I feel similarly, except I think you should wait for
him to do it again and then go like this,
You didn't know what's thankful? You whop an idiot? You
have you never been on the inside of a restaurant.
(46:03):
Fuck dumb ass, That's what I think. That would stop
from ever doing it again. Wouldn't Oh lord, he wouldn't.
And if you loved him, you would tell him what
he was, which was that's a dumb That's pretty dumb.
That's the dumb ass thing to do, so embarrassing. I
don't like that he's taking it out on the staff,
that's the part I don't mind. Yeah, that shows me
(46:24):
that you're a jerk. You want your food back there
with them and their spit beautiful And.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Also what are they going to do with the steak
tartart like cook it up and bring it back? Yes,
there's not really anything to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Now bold steak criss okay, venting something?
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, I say, break up what should she do and
go to our conversion therapy except a little lady into
your heart because little know at what Steak Tartar is
and or will google it. That's true where they order.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
It the Conversion Therapy campus in Canada, and we will
be led by Amber Ruffin and Shannon Beverage, Judge Shannon Beverage,
KP Day LLC. I love it you guys. We have
been Amber and Lacy and Lacy and Amber and Shannon,
and it's important to remember your future. Your future is this.
(47:28):
You're gonna listen to more of the Amber and Lacy,
Lacy and Amber show. You're gonna listen to X's and
oh Shannon's podcast, and you're gonna go see the show live.
Why because unless you live in Omaha, it's coming. It's
coming to us a town near you. You're gonna see
it and you're gonna have a lot of fun. Also,
we love you. You can find us online. I'm at
(47:52):
Amber Ruffin, Lacey's at Lacy lamar One, Shannon Beverage is
at Shando Bellc LLC.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Much your socialized socials are at now. This is living
on everything.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Okay, there you go. Okay, So I did have it wrong.
I was right to guess. This has been The Amber
and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show. Shannon, thank you for
spending time with us, thank you for having me ye,
and thank you for agreeing to be on every episode.
That's right, she did. Bye bye everyone, We love YOUE bye.
(48:31):
The Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show is a
production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sani, super produced
by Becca Raimos. Because She's a Superhero co produced by
Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd. Music by
(48:51):
David schmol
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