March 6, 2024 • 46 mins
Amber gets it from her mama… her sense of humor, that is. Meanwhile, Lacey's jaw drops at the sight of the NYPD dance team and Wendy's sky-high surge pricing. Their day's brightened by the presence of the incomparable ray of sunshine, Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Joyelle graces them with relationship wisdom when Lacey exposes the DMs she has been getting. Then, in "Can You Stand It," they tackle some pressing questions: who's skipping home-cooked meals, who's flaunting a hot new bag, and who couldn't resist a trip to the Cheesecake Factory at the mall? Later, they dive into "That's Rank," to rate amusement park rides, reminiscing about the times they visited theme parks as kids.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you want to laugh, then you're in the right place.
Or just look at Amber's face. It's the Amber Lacey
Lacy and Amber Shower. Did you did you like the
song You're Not Nice? You said my face was funny? Mom,
(00:25):
that's the material, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna
sing oh wow, feeling so don't even ter riot fun fact.
Mom was voted class clown in high school, and I
was also voted class clown in high school. So if
you think I have a good uh example to follow,
(00:48):
you wrong, it only it only gets she taught her
how it is crazier than me. Yeah, Lacey, Yes, welcome
to the Amber and Lacy lamb show.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is beautiful? What No, she's that? Oh my god, your
eyes are broken. Oh both you're broken.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Let see how you doing. I'm doing good.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I just found out, guys, I'm new to New York.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know this that.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
The New York uh City Police Department okay, has a
female dance team.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Now, yeah, guys, I'm not judging. What are you dancing about?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And they perform it like par I think top three
professions that just steer clear of having people dancing, because
what are you dancing about?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm gonna say, police officers.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I don't think you should have a dance team with
outfits dancing correction officers. I just feel the same way.
And morticians, you should not be dancing. Okay, what are
we doing? Okay, hard disagree? Okay, anything that could ever
happen to a cop to bring them joy, fucking do it.
These motherfuckers should begin massages. They should be having barbecues.
(02:02):
I want their shoulders loose. I want them to have
joy in their lives. I want them to have as
little excuse as possible to be cussing my ass out,
like almost every cop I've ever met does. Let's let
these people let off some gud damn steam. Fucking sorry, guys,
that's what I feel about cops, and that's what the
(02:24):
show is about. It's a very political show, guys, it's not,
but sometimes you just wander into it. Hey listen, cops
having a good time dot com. Hey, I don't know
about this. I didn't to help them out, help let
(02:44):
them have a nice life, because lord knows they'd be
taking it out on motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh so you think it's gonna stop do you think
it's gonna stop something?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, I used to be real bad apple. I put
these hoppands on and shake my ass. Why black people
stop looking after? I love every about it. Out your
story right upon under an ounce of scrutiny. It just
(03:15):
get a great He be mad when you get pulled over.
And did you see him dancing? You will be so mad.
This is the same Costic cuts me out doing the
gut damn name of all dances. He's got an amazing
(03:42):
high kick, though he might have been mean to be.
But batman legs legs unra.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, we're past that. Please don't arrest me.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Wendy's.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Did you hear about Wendy's? Yeah? What the fuck? Okay?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
First of all, First all, Wendy's is going to charge
more when their lines are longer during busier hours. First
of all, Wendy's, you are not the restaurant. I'm gonna
stand in line at Chipotle. I'm gonna If I drive
past Wendy's and I noticed that it's noon and there's
(04:25):
a line, I am moving on. I'm not standing in
line for you because you're not that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I know that's right.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You're a fool, y'all, barely you are, and I'm sorry.
I will drive twenty more minutes to get what I want,
what I actually want. No one is ever sitting in
their house and go you know what I need Wendy.
I just say that. No one is at home.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Going, y'all, we got everybody, get up, We going to Wendy's.
No one is saying that. No, I have never and
I'm sorry Wendy's.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I will fight you guys in the parking lot at Yeah,
nobody's doing it, So thank Wendy's for thinking you were
all high and mighty.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
They gonna pay that, No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Now Chipotle got me by the balls, and whatever the
fuck they want, I will pay. I will spend the night.
I will tell my I'm going to here's my sleeping
bag and my pillow. I might be back in two days,
it might be three days, but I'm coming back with
burritos for everyone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Have an extra walk. I'm staying.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh wait, god, Wendy has the audacity to have surge pricing.
And they are not Chipotle, they are not McDonald's. No,
they're not even Burger. Yeah, all those places I'm gonna
stand in line. Extra for I'm standing in line now
minutes They're like, ma'am, the light They're going to just
see a smoke and a lacy shaped puff of smoke
(05:48):
and how dare you bid?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
These?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Also another one that's got me by the throat Taco Bell. Now,
if Taco Bell wants to have surge pricing, so be it.
You can afford it because your ship is forty nine cents, squad,
I mean put a dollar on there. Ha haha, we're
having fun. Real people who eat at Wendy's have budgeted
(06:13):
the amount of money it takes to eat at Wendy's.
This is also a point made by under the Desk News,
a lady that I'm absolutely in love with. She was like,
when you make your budget, remember being like a child
with fucking twenty dollars left over at the end of
your paycheck. If you budgeted out the amount of food
(06:36):
you could get, you know that Wendy's is like the
second to last. It's Wendy's and then it's Taco Bell.
That's the space Wendy's occupies. Is I am a person
who doesn't have a lot of money. I am hungry.
Now can I afford that ninety nine cent menu. That's
what Wendy's is. How fucking dare you lose the only
(06:58):
good thing about you?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Fuck?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It makes me really mad. When she said that are
under the desk news, I got mad she would mess
up my little budget. This twenty dollars got the last
meet for eight days. Shoot, So that's how we feel.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
We're sorry we started off so negative, but we swear
the rest of the show will be filled with joy.
You want to know why, because our guests destroyed yeall, guys,
we love her so bad joyel Nicole Johnson is one
of my little friends.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
We met while.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Being bad while her comedy special was nominated for a
Critics Choice and the Amber Ruffin Show was nominated for
a Critics Choice Org and we were at the ceremony.
We missed most of it because we were upstairs drinking
at the bar. That's how best friendships are. We were
so bad. That was a really fun night. And then
(07:56):
since we've had a million fun nights because now we're friends,
and tonight we all get to have a fun night
together because we got our chie see her. Yay yay, okay,
so there's more fun times ahead with our good friend.
So stick around, won't you? All right? Welcome back to
(08:27):
the Ambray and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. We are
so ready to spend time with this seasoned New York
City comedian who has cracked up audiences nationwide through a
stand up writing and on screen performances. When we see her,
it brings us great. Her first name, it's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Wait,
so it brings us great, Joyel, I Amy hello from
(08:58):
another we just saw you, yes today basically, I mean,
I don't know what days are, so for sure it
was definitely yesterday or last year. So Lacey and I
had a joint birthday party where we were like, look,
our house is a little far out of town, so
come to a party and then freaking stay the night.
I don't know, you can't be driving everywhere. You can't
(09:21):
be coming up here getting drunk and then driving home.
And enjoy Elle came and spent the night and we
partied so hard and it was so super fun. If
you ever throw a party, and oh I'm a person,
I also really in my bed in advances. Yeah I knew.
(09:41):
I knew I was like Robbie drinking. And I also
would like to say you are very responsible adults, because
we were definitely asleep by about one am. Major earlier.
I had started drinking at four. My drinking starts at
four pm. Yes, I'm having my first drink at eight
is not gonna do. I'm not gonna make it. You
(10:03):
start drinking out four, you can roll, you can roll,
and you guys wake up early. You are early birds
in the house.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, it was about seven thirty two am.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Came out like.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Somebody's mom in the evening. Do you remember when she was.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Like, I'm going to sleep now you're liked.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And were like, and I think everyone else should follow?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Should you'd know I did it all of a sudden,
some rollers in her hair. I don't see the chop
of rollers in her hair. I don't make other people
like a little cigar. It was a sac a rillow everybody.
I didn't tell everybody go to sleep. Don't see that
(10:49):
medaling kids? Yeah, I mean it was definitely time for
me to go to sleep. And I appreciated the mother ring.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She had a belt in her hand. She was she
changed up. I was there.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I said one person got beat when amber came down
the stairs. I did not the belt at our birthday party.
I thought I heard once one little slash. It was
a lick. You know how they hold both ends and
both hands and go.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Smack beat as kids.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
You really to get us spanking at our house, you
had to be like, I'm going to do my best
to get a spanking. You didn't just end up spanked.
By the time you get a spanking, you'd be like, yeah,
you earned it. I remember saying, just spank member. My
mom had made us Brussels sprouts for the very first time,
(11:44):
and I took one bite of those and was like, yeah,
I'm gonna get a spanking, And I said, just spank me.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Just you didn't finish your food. You got in trouble,
so I was like, you know, I'm ready. That's so funny.
You just laid on the cross, he said.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
You did. She get spakings and my mother she worked
too much and I got spanked once and it was
for forging her signature. I think I was in I
don't know, like middle school or something, and I think
she was just in a mood that day because she
came home and she hit me with like her purse
(12:19):
or something. It was hilarious and I was like, oh, oh,
she ain't having it today.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
She made them mad. I was a pretty good kid.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I would do silly things, but yeah, I didn't get
really spo I feel like maybe I had two spankings. Ever,
But one time did I tell the story on this
podcasts right? One time? When I was five, When everyone
was five, they would get taken to swimming lessons. So
when I was five, I would go to swimming lessons.
Dad would take me and I would go splash round
(12:50):
with my friends and have the time of my life
until the teacher would be like, now we're going to
put her heads underwater, and I would go, no, I can't,
and I would scream so bad. Would come down off
the bleachers and pick me up out of the water
and take me home. So then it had happened like
two or three times, and Dad was like, look, if
you do you want to go to swim class and
(13:12):
I was like, yes, I love it. And he was like,
if you start screaming and crying, I'm going to give
you a spanking, so put your head under the water.
And I was like, Dad, this isn't even a problem.
I will definitely not be screamed to cry. Get there
play around. The teacher is like Okay, now it's time
for us to put our heads underwater.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
And I start screaming.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I want to spaking. Dad came down off the bleachers.
He picked me up, and he took me home. And
of course didn't get his spaking, because you can tell
me a way.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I behave, I don't get. I didn't get space. Can
you swim today? I cannot swim. Also, the teacher had
to be very confused. What's going on in that lamar household,
that roughing household? Yeah, its not certainly not spanking or
(14:04):
else I would have gotten act together before I went
to the swimming class. Hello, guys, Drea, welcome. I'm so
happy to be What are what are all of your feelings?
All of my feelings today?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
All of them?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah? Oh my gosh, don't listen. Okay, I had therapy.
I have a couple therapy on Monday. I have individual
therapy on Tuesday. My partner has individual therapy on Tuesday.
And then yesterday I started a support group. So I
am therapised. So that is how.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, yes, oh that's good. Yeah, and I gotta start
back up with therapy. Yeah you do. I called your
therapist and what she gonna be mad in here about
an hour. So we got we got s Yeah, I said,
come to the house. Yeah they're coming.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
God damn house calls.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Listen, you can make a killing with that these days
because everybody's on a thread. So I am.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That's how I'm doing today.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I love that. I'm gonna I'm gonna get a shirt
that says I'm therapy shirt. I love it. Okay, Joy, Yes,
in your last special Love, Joy Peacock, you talk about relationships. Okay,
So you know, first of all, you know I'm on
the dating scene and am on the dating scene today.
(15:32):
We want to take a look in my DMS and
see if there's any hope out there. This is something
that we do. Please slide out of.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Lacey's DMS because girl, it's bad. Ooh the slip out.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh I can't wait to see. So just uh need
you to see how bad it is out here. First
of all, why I needed to say this? Why are
there so many people that take their picture and bite
their bottom lip? So I need us right now bite
our bottom lip, hold lip?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Would you teach yourself?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Why why are you sending me a picture where your
lip is gone? I don't understand I don't like it.
I don't click on those pictures. Its me you feeling.
How do you feel about that? I think I've never
looked totter than this. You gotta close the eye with
it too, would look like a pirate. Would you choose
(16:28):
you right now? Bite your bottom. You're driving in the corner,
look in the bite your lipody wants to but who
the lip?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It seems like that's like a Michael B. Jordan kind
of model.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not in these
joy You're not in these streets. Men will come up
and be like and keep walking like they think I'm
gonna be like, hold on, hold on, you just bitch
your lip, come back.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You're the one I that is.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I mean, I know it's a little like vibe thing,
but it's unfit.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Stop what are you doing? I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It's so funny because it seems like every time you
like a person, they could do goofy shit and you'd
be like, but I like you, but if anybody else
did that, so we gotta like you first before you
start biting your lip. People, that's that's the thing, thank you,
So that it could be you could do it if
I like you. I'm sure you know. Bite the lip.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I'll giggle, but don't don't start. Don't open with the lip.
Bite right. That's not an opener. I'm just more of
a closer. I'm literally got.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Rolling over the morning in the morning after.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You did something, you know, okay. Another person that slid
into my DMS. Swear to god, they.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Had this is the Normally people put maybe too much
stuff on their profile. He had his picture and then
this is under his picture. It's little area that says
a little about me, and then conversation starters and it
literally says a little about me dash. And then they
put something in there conversation starters. Dash. They write, he
asked a little about me. I work too much. The
(18:13):
second thing, conversation starters. Nothing comes to mind. That was it?
And then his age and what city he was in?
What is his age?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
It's like forty two? Ooh, you too old? Listen, sir,
did you not.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Want to find anyone? It's someone?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Are you being held at gunpoint?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Blink? What gives me an? Are you okay? Is someone
forcing you to make this profile?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Nothing comes to mind. Nothing. I don't want to talk
to you.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That is a cry for help. That is what That
sounds like a cry for help because I have a cousin. Listen,
I'm trying to help. I want everybody to be in
love in relationships, so I'm helping people out. And I
took over her dating profile and I was sending out
messages to dudes and I was like, Okay, what do
you read I need to go on this date? And
she said, well, I gotta work this weekend. And I
(19:03):
was like, all right, what about Friday night? She's like,
I got to work to eleven pm. And then when
you work at Saturday, She's like, I gotta get up
at seven am to go to work.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I was like, well, girl, you ain't got no time
to date. You're working too much. You don't.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I was like, you need to chill and set some
time aside so you can go out on a date.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And that dude was like, I got no time.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Help.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Oh he was asking for help. You should have helped them,
Lacey side jobs, can you be on my dating app?
I got thanks?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Please, I don't have a day job, Lacey, send me
your passwords. I'm down at you find someone for me.
That would be great. I will send you my date babe,
I'm gonna I'm going to give you another one. This
man messaged me and said, Hi, how are you doing.
I love my job. I work in pharmaceuticals. And I said, no,
(19:54):
you don't. You spelled it with an F. Google your words.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
And he blocked me. That's a blockable.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
You earned that block like I never get blocked. But
she made it up. You spilled it with an F.
Oh my god, and F is the same grade you
got in spelling.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Joe, ask you a spell.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I am a stickler for grammar and commas and two
two and two and there there there and there's oh god,
So no I couldn't do it. I'm like, oh baby, no, no, no,
no he said he said drugs. He said he says
marijuana so.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Or he's a farmer.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Or he thought pharmaceuticals was farming. If you thought it
was spelled with an F, you think you're farming, right,
I don't have time to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh my god, you can grow a mean collar said, no,
you don't. You spilled with an F.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
That's the meaning thing. You could have possibly the meanest
thing fixed.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
He wanted the helpen. He fixed this profile and he
took it off and now someone else is believing this
lie that's true.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Got to get your who tf did I marries out?
You know, you got to help them out so that
they can trick the next person better.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
We need a new rest of Tessa Thompson.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Wait, is it Reesa? It's Oh no, it's not. I've
been saying TA like a fucking asshole.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh no, people like Redda Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Man. I spelled pharmaceuticals with you, did you basically pharmaceutical joself?
Do we have time for one more? Do we have
another word? Let's do one more?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Okay? And what my question is? What app is this on?
All of them? All of them?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Okay, across the.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
World. I'm on the apps. I'm okay.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I love it, though I did get off of plenty
of fish that just ninety percent of the profiles that
were coming at me were fake and I just didn't
have time. A little clue for women that are on
any app. Really, if you decide that you want to
talk to this person, I screenshot their picture. Yes, I
(22:18):
do this, and then I put it in the Google search, sir,
you are not an evangelical pastor. And then I messaged
the evangelical pastor and said, someone's on Plenty of Fish
trying to be you and you a whole husband with
three kids, and he said, thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
This happens to me all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh but I love to bust them out and message
them back and go how's your wife and kid? And
I report it and then they block, then they take
it down. But I know they've got to be taking
down thousands a day. But I get people's profiles taken
down all the time because you should not be out
there pretending all the time. And that's why I was, like,
(22:56):
I am basically an employee now plenty of Fish. I
don't have time, so.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I gotta be a job. I'm sure that's a job.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So anyone plenty of Fish you are that is not
Roy Johnson. He that is Roy Wood Junior. And he
does not want to go on a date with you.
They're not real, Like I really, I'm not joking, but
like seventy five percent of the people were not. When
I went on my little dating app, I kept getting
messages that said, hey, cool profile. I'm also a big
(23:28):
fan of Amber Ruffin. You should take down this provice, Okay,
I'm sorry. Yeah, you have to do the opposite of
a catfishery, what do you put it?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Just like a young picture? Hi, it's me, it's hey.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Maybe you're getting catfished.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Maybe it's me.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Who knows?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
What a mess? Because if you Google me, it says married. Okay,
take that off of Google. Do you have to email this?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
There's nothing on earth you can do to stop Wikipedia
from saying that you are married. There is. I have
plenty of friends who are divorced and they're like, I
will forever be married on the internet because Wikipedia would
rather die than change my marital status. So I'm glad
(24:26):
they told me that because I tried a little and
then was like, okay, you know what, It's fine, I'll
just forever be married online. I guess wow, like you
a fake profile and then if you wait, you're married tag.
Oh my god, I am the I am the catfish.
You are the catfish. Oh that's nice, not real fun. Yeah, Hey, okay,
(24:51):
you guys, we did a good job. We did that
is please slide out of Lacey's dms. Always always a
good time, had a million more, always unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I kind of want more. I know we should. We
got to make this a book. Let me just do
one more. Okay, one more.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
This man probably was biting the bottom lip and he said,
looking for female that has her ship together?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Is that you?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I text back no, because in the dad, what are
you talking about, Sara, don't lead with that. You said, buddy,
while you said female, I'm out female, we out hotap Oh,
that's her ship together? You man wearing this is a
(25:39):
very angry greeting. I didn't even get a hello. I
got looking for a female that has her ship together.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Were gone and looking. Look so black.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Women, especially statistically have our ship together way more than
the men. So what are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I need I need a man. Yeah, I a me mail.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
A me mail is a person who is like me
but has their shit together. All right, now, I'm done
for real, I'm done, guys, she means stating she's guys.
That was Please slide out of Lacey's DMS. When we
come back from this adybty break, we're gonna share the
(26:26):
latest thing that we are obsessed with, and we're going
to find out what's getting right. Stick around. Hey, everybody,
welcome back to the emmor Lacy, Lacy and Ember Show.
Joel We want you to play can you stand it
(26:47):
with us? It's an easy game that everyone wins. Quick question.
Have you ever loved something so much that you couldn't
stand it?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Today, we want you to share that feeling and let
our audience know what caused your latest obsession and we'll
share ours too. Who wants to go first? Lace Face,
I'm going say face. I need everyone to know that me,
Amber or older sisters, we lived off of PBS. We
(27:15):
know every song, every song written Sesame Street. We all
live in a capitol.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I'm in the middle of the city, in the center
of this guy like. That was a creepy song that
scared the hell out of me.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
But there are just these random Sesame Street songs that
we know there.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Do you, Joel, do you love Sesame Street?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Okay, so do you know that song?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Though?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Young capital a baby? I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I don't know that I'm a baby. I'm forty two. Okay,
you're nice. Fraggle rock fraggle rock was great, was great,
It was great. Amber.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
What was your favorite Sesame Street song?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
It might be or skit It's it's a tie, well,
skit is, well, it's a time, It's either oh, Jelly,
won't you come home? Jelly, won't you come home? Jelly,
won't you come Oh? That was James Taylor singing that song.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I also liked. Yeah, it was a good song.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It was.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I also liked give Me.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
One, two, three four. But if you love me more.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Gimme five, give me, give me, give me five.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's cute, lacy, Okay, you guys are definitely songs. Definitely
for give me five, give me five. Remember when the
Orange sing opera, No, the Orange and she first she
rolled on, she had nothing. Yeah, it's cute. Love that. Yeah,
(28:49):
I love that opera. But my favorite skit was loaf
of bread, container milk and a stick of butter. How
come I went and got the ball.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Put it to the thing that is so beautiful? It's
a black girl.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It was an affro. Yes, it was a black girl.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If y'all see me on an event Oscars whatever, I
might be carrying this back. That's how much I love
so cute And don't be trying to steal my bad.
Let's see, I can make a potato chip las back
the right somebody, can you? Yes?
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Anyway, That's what I'm obsessed with.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
This all things sesame street, Yo, what's your favorite sesame
street bit? Oh god, I don't one, two, three, four, five,
six seven Is that?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Eleven twelve? That's the Pointer Sisters? No. One, four, five, six, seven,
eight nine did eleven twelve? I was thinking that was
Electric Company. It's not. You're right, okay, because I wasn't
sure it's the Points. I just saw a tweet about it,
(30:02):
not an hour ago, all up.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
In your head.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
I tried to get on them in your mind. That
wasn't it was JOYO. What's your favorite thing? My favorite thing?
Person plus thing. My favorite thing right now is o
ma case sushi service. Have you guys ever done this? No?
Say what it is? Okay? I am a fancy beach
(30:31):
and I don't have kids, and I also do not
like to cook. So I spent a lot of money
eating out and omakase sushi is basically when you go
to a sushi counter and the chef just puts whatever
they have, the freshest fish in the world in front
of you. They'll sometimes have twelve courses, they'll sometimes have
(30:52):
seventeen courses. I've gone to different places in Canada. I've
spent a lot of money on one meal for special
occasions but also for Tuesdays. And I have my favorite
o Macasse spots in the city and abroad.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Makse Yeah, I go as much as possible. I would
love to take you to if you guys like sushi.
I don't know if you do, because if you sure out, okay, listen, no, no,
I will, I'll do sushi.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And I need you to know.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I went to one of these things in Omaha, Nebraska.
It's in Benson and it's called Yashi Tomo and I
follow the chef who loves amber. Oh, so shout out.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I wish I could.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I'm trying to look up his name right now and
it's going to leave me and I'm so sorry, mister sir. Anyway,
I went to a friend's party and we had a
We were in this little special area and he was
preparing the food in front of us.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
So I guess that's what I didn't know. That's what
it was called.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, yes, that's the type of service it is, so lacy,
you'll come with me. There's some great spots. Shout out
to Karami in the Hell's Kitchen and Sushi on Me
and Queen is one of the funnest things of all
time that had like it's a party up there, so
it's like the heyday of a macase and everybody's doing
(32:09):
their own twist on it.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
So I love it. It's like my favorite thing to do.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Guys, the newest trend in food is oh macase. They
say it right, your dad shout out to David Fear. Okay, guys,
now my can't stand it is something new. This week,
I was out with my friends at the mall and
(32:33):
we were buying suits. I love to buy suits from Zara. Zara,
I have all your suits. Please come out with more suits.
Do you have the pink?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Do you have that?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I didn't buy the pink.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I liked it, I didn't buy it because I have
one at work that's probably the same fucking suit. So
I went to the mall and I bought all the
suits from Zara, and then I got hungry and went
to my favorite place on earth to chase. Okay, first
of all, I didn't know where she searched me. Stop,
(33:06):
this is what Amber does. We thought. I thought she
was going to do something different, but maybe if you
listened to the show before, she never switches it up
and it's always freaking cheat. Yes, Trigger, I was a
server there. Thank you, absolutely no, Yeah, I knew I
(33:26):
loved you, she said Trigger Trigger a good place on Joe.
Did you know that Amber lives there? Like?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Did you know you heard.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
This about her? She talks about this often. What's your
favorite meal on the menu? I would never pick a
favorite meal. I love it there, everything okay, every drink okay,
every I love everything okay. Yeah. When I worked at
the one in New Jersey, we had these guys called
(33:56):
the Jamison Boys or something, and they were these stock
broker millionaires that would come and just do like shots
of jameson at the bar and they would leave like
a thousand dollars tip for the bartender. That was a
fun memory, but for the most part it was traumatic,
especially especially learning the menu. Girl, you can't the training
(34:20):
is a boot camp because you have to learn all
of the ingredients to everything on that menu and the cheesecake.
And I didn't care. But I truly didn't study that
much in college. I did very well on that test.
I would pass that test tonight with flying colors, because
(34:42):
I know that bitch. We found another job and I
would work there in a minute.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
I would get some stock in them.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
I should do.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
I don't know they're public, but they should be. They
should be.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, needs to buy it. You need to just run one.
Then I would lose so much money as much as
you feed my goddamn self. Yeah, oh, good for you. Yay.
I should have went on cheesecake match dot com, downloaded
that app and date the cheesecake factory. We'd be married
(35:21):
by now. I love it, you guys, I love you
very much. I think we did a good job. Hey, everybody,
it's time for our segment called That's Rank, where the
three of us, the only three opinions in the world
that matter, rank our top three favorite things. And we've
ranked several things already, Cereal, we've ranked fast food chains,
(35:45):
and now.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
We are going to rank.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Remember when you were younger and you would go to
the amusement park. I'm probably the only child that hated
the amusement park, didn't love it. I was always the
purse holder, the bag holder, and I sat down and
talked to old people.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
There's an elderly man on a bench. That's my man.
I'm gonna sit and talk to them.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I don't want to be flying through the air risking
my life, almost dying, throwing up, peeing on myself, which
I did on all of those damn rights. Hated it.
So Joel, were gonna start with you because I feel
like you were adventurous when you were little. I feel
like if someone said an amusement park, you were like yeah,
and you went, what were your three favorite rides?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
What were the best amusement park?
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Rightes?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Okay, So a side note.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I grew up in New Jersey and my cousins would
take us to amusement parks all the time. And there
was this water park called Action Park that was amazing fun. Yes, yes, yes,
they had to close because children were flying in the
air and dying. They had to close the park. And
(36:54):
I was on those rides as a kid where you'd
be like you'd lift up off of the water slide,
be mid air, five hundred feet in the sky, and
I was like, WHOA crazy? But I loved it. I
loved I loved Action Park. Great Adventure is in New
Jersey and we had Sesame Place. I loved it, the
(37:15):
Sesame Place that was really adorable. It was in a
water park as well. Favorite rides I who, I don't
know if I remember real quick. I have to say,
you gotta watch the movie class Action Park. It's a
documentary about Action Park, and it really details all of
the teeth that were lost to all of the bones
(37:36):
that were broken, broken, and I feel like there were
some deaths, so just why they.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Had to close it. There were deaths.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, you gotta you gotta watch that documentary. You wouldn't
believe it. You wouldn't believe it. Yes, yeah, okay, I'm
so sorry. Yeah, and uh so used to favorite rides. Yeah,
I don't remember the names of them. Well, I love
Space Mountain. When I was a kid at this land,
Space Mountains, Space Masain was fun. It was in the dark.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Okay, boo, I don't remember the names of the ride.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's okay, descriptions. So Space Mountain is one. I'll know
what Space Mountain is.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That was fun.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
There was one that would go upside down and had
a lap bar on that was terrifying because I was
because I don't like the harness. The harness makes me claustrophobic.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So it was just a.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Lap bar and I was like, how does this work?
But it was because of centrifugal force or however you
say that word.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
But I think people also died on that.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
I think where was this the right that you're talking about?
Where was it? I think that was that might have
been at Dorney Park. I'm not I'm not sure. I
went to a lot of them growing up, and I
don't remember the names of the rides. But I had
a good time when I was a kid. I liked
the Superman.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
One where you dangle in Yes, that was so cute.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
That one was fine. I don't like anything we just drop.
There's no need for that. I don't like I just drop.
I need I need some popping circumstance. I need some
some ups and downs. I don't like just to drop.
But I do like a water park. I love a
water park as long as you know you don't die.
I don't want to die at the water park. So
you like the water slides. I love water slides, like
(39:19):
the tube or just like open an open slide. I
kind of like in the tube because I feel like
every time I open slide I get a cut or something.
I come off bgleds on an open slide. I need
a tube with somebody. I like a lazy river. I
love a lazy river.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
I get into it.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Ever I feel like these are the best rides. The
thing that goes okay, it has a center. From the center,
there's a bunch of outstretched arms. At the end of
each arm is like an airplane, and it goes up
and down and around. Now, that thing, when you are
a child is the best fucking thing on earth. I
(40:05):
remember being like, my god, I'm a god damn pilot.
Shit flying through the air. This is the best. So
that it was like Cody Island. It's everywhere in Disneyland.
It's dumbos. In most places, it's just airplanes. I absolutely
adore that thing. I also love a roller coaster, because
(40:26):
roller coasters frickin' rule, even when they're bumpy and terrible,
I absolutely love them. Now that I'm a little more colaustrophobic,
I wonder if I could I feel like I right
like as I got older, the harness, like when they
lock it in panic. Yeah. Yeah, Now that my body
knows how to panic, I don't know that I can
(40:46):
be dwisted. What is the best ride? Okay, so I'm
trying not to include rides from this place, but it
has to be said. There is an amusement park called
Efteling and it's outside of Amsterdam. And the whole caveot
of the place is that it's it's like fairies and
and elves and shit built it. It's in the middle
(41:08):
of the forest. The forest is still there. And each
ride like there's nothing saying what you're in line for.
You get your ass in line and you get what
you fucking get. Also, like some of the rides smell
beautiful and look beautiful, and that's you just are like
in an egg going around uh a fairy town and
(41:32):
you're like, ooh, this is winter in the fairy town.
This is spring in the fairy town. And and there's
beautiful music and each ride has its own like lovely music.
And some of them you just walk in and it's
a theater and a bunch of animatronic frogs sing a song.
The frogs sing a song and you leave and that's it.
So then, but one of them is what No, I
(41:54):
like this music park? This a musement park. You could
do it, and it sounds like you I want to
do nothing. Also, you can come with me and I'll
tell you us what Now. The best ride in this
place is called Villa Volta. You walk into it, it
looks like a bank, where like it has big white
columns and like a it looks like like maybe like
(42:16):
the White House. You walk in there, you go into
a room. An animatronic old man sitting on a pile
of gold goes, I used to rob he's saying this
in Dutch. I used to go around with a bunch
of pirates and we would rob people of their gold,
and they called us the goat riders. And then I
(42:38):
took all the goods I stole, and now I'm cursed
in this house forever.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
My Dutch isn't great.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
So you go into the next room and you sit
on pews that are like bleachers, right and the and
you're in this giant room that's like a ballroom, and
there's a lot of like golden shit in it. But
the place is cursed, and the pews start to move
and they go back and forth and back and forth
(43:05):
until they go up and around, and you spin around
the room from the bottom to the side to the
top to the side to the bottom, and you go
round and round, but you're not moving. You if you
have a bottle of water, you can set it down
on the ground. You're not really moving, like the pews
move a little bit, and then the room spins, and
then the pews move back, and then the room spins.
(43:28):
When you go there, drugs moving, it's the fucking best.
It'll it'll melt your brain. It's the best. It's my favorite.
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I wouldn't be able to be on drugs in that room.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Who fun the time to think of that?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
That's beautifulreat The whole thing is so great.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
The whole thing is full of shit like that where
it's like just adorable for adorable sake. It's great. Guys,
go to the Efteling. You will not be disappointed. Okay,
my list is this nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Ended.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I want to do.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Amb knows. I don't want to do anything. I don't
want to be there. You'll do a lazy river if
I have to.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
But I am in people's filth floating in there. But
it is and if I don't have to do that,
I will not. Just children are peeing in the lazy river,
adults are peeing.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
I don't want to sit in No.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Yeah, yeah, I don't care about any I can go
to amusement park. Amber made me go to. We all
went to the Universal Universal Studios with our family and
every time.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Lazy, are you coming in?
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Give me your backs? Meet you on the other side.
She came out on thetail. I'll see a Turkey lake. Yeah. Yeah,
that's like the designated driver.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Everybody needs the back, everybody needs me. You're a very
hold human being. You're not going to do a thing
going upside down on that.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
You got the baby in the stroller, you got all
the bad things.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I was holding the strangers stuff. Give me that be
give me that. Don't you.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Shield you from the sun? I love that.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Guys. We did a good job. We did We ranked everything.
We went through Lacey's d MS, and we told each
other all of our feelings and that that's therapy. It's
a good day. So we would like to thank Joy
L Nicole. Follow at Joy l Nicole everywhere. J O
y e l l e n I c O l
(45:26):
e j O y e l e n I c
o l e j O y e l e n
I s c oh l e. Oh.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
That's a good one. That's a good song.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
But her bye her by Droyel's album Yell Joy and
watch her latest special love Joy on Peacock. I'm at
Amber Ruffin and Lacias at Lacy lamar One. Don't forget
to follow our podcast feed wherever you get your podcasts,
rate and review us. And bye, We Love You So bad.
By Dreel. We Love you so bad.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Bye,
If you want to laugh, then you're in the right place.
Or just look at Amber's face. It's the Amber Lacey
Lacy and Amber Shower. Did you did you like the
song You're Not Nice? You said my face was funny? Mom,
(00:25):
that's the material, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna
sing oh wow, feeling so don't even ter riot fun fact.
Mom was voted class clown in high school, and I
was also voted class clown in high school. So if
you think I have a good uh example to follow,
(00:48):
you wrong, it only it only gets she taught her
how it is crazier than me. Yeah, Lacey, Yes, welcome
to the Amber and Lacy lamb show.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is beautiful? What No, she's that? Oh my god, your
eyes are broken. Oh both you're broken.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Oh I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Let see how you doing. I'm doing good.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I just found out, guys, I'm new to New York.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know this that.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
The New York uh City Police Department okay, has a
female dance team.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Now, yeah, guys, I'm not judging. What are you dancing about?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And they perform it like par I think top three
professions that just steer clear of having people dancing, because
what are you dancing about?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm gonna say, police officers.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I don't think you should have a dance team with
outfits dancing correction officers. I just feel the same way.
And morticians, you should not be dancing. Okay, what are
we doing? Okay, hard disagree? Okay, anything that could ever
happen to a cop to bring them joy, fucking do it.
These motherfuckers should begin massages. They should be having barbecues.
(02:02):
I want their shoulders loose. I want them to have
joy in their lives. I want them to have as
little excuse as possible to be cussing my ass out,
like almost every cop I've ever met does. Let's let
these people let off some gud damn steam. Fucking sorry, guys,
that's what I feel about cops, and that's what the
(02:24):
show is about. It's a very political show, guys, it's not,
but sometimes you just wander into it. Hey listen, cops
having a good time dot com. Hey, I don't know
about this. I didn't to help them out, help let
(02:44):
them have a nice life, because lord knows they'd be
taking it out on motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh so you think it's gonna stop do you think
it's gonna stop something?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, I used to be real bad apple. I put
these hoppands on and shake my ass. Why black people
stop looking after? I love every about it. Out your
story right upon under an ounce of scrutiny. It just
(03:15):
get a great He be mad when you get pulled over.
And did you see him dancing? You will be so mad.
This is the same Costic cuts me out doing the
gut damn name of all dances. He's got an amazing
(03:42):
high kick, though he might have been mean to be.
But batman legs legs unra.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, we're past that. Please don't arrest me.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Wendy's.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Did you hear about Wendy's? Yeah? What the fuck? Okay?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
First of all, First all, Wendy's is going to charge
more when their lines are longer during busier hours. First
of all, Wendy's, you are not the restaurant. I'm gonna
stand in line at Chipotle. I'm gonna If I drive
past Wendy's and I noticed that it's noon and there's
(04:25):
a line, I am moving on. I'm not standing in
line for you because you're not that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I know that's right.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You're a fool, y'all, barely you are, and I'm sorry.
I will drive twenty more minutes to get what I want,
what I actually want. No one is ever sitting in
their house and go you know what I need Wendy.
I just say that. No one is at home.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Going, y'all, we got everybody, get up, We going to Wendy's.
No one is saying that. No, I have never and
I'm sorry Wendy's.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I will fight you guys in the parking lot at Yeah,
nobody's doing it, So thank Wendy's for thinking you were
all high and mighty.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
They gonna pay that, No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Now Chipotle got me by the balls, and whatever the
fuck they want, I will pay. I will spend the night.
I will tell my I'm going to here's my sleeping
bag and my pillow. I might be back in two days,
it might be three days, but I'm coming back with
burritos for everyone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Have an extra walk. I'm staying.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh wait, god, Wendy has the audacity to have surge pricing.
And they are not Chipotle, they are not McDonald's. No,
they're not even Burger. Yeah, all those places I'm gonna
stand in line. Extra for I'm standing in line now
minutes They're like, ma'am, the light They're going to just
see a smoke and a lacy shaped puff of smoke
(05:48):
and how dare you bid?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
These?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Also another one that's got me by the throat Taco Bell. Now,
if Taco Bell wants to have surge pricing, so be it.
You can afford it because your ship is forty nine cents, squad,
I mean put a dollar on there. Ha haha, we're
having fun. Real people who eat at Wendy's have budgeted
(06:13):
the amount of money it takes to eat at Wendy's.
This is also a point made by under the Desk News,
a lady that I'm absolutely in love with. She was like,
when you make your budget, remember being like a child
with fucking twenty dollars left over at the end of
your paycheck. If you budgeted out the amount of food
(06:36):
you could get, you know that Wendy's is like the
second to last. It's Wendy's and then it's Taco Bell.
That's the space Wendy's occupies. Is I am a person
who doesn't have a lot of money. I am hungry.
Now can I afford that ninety nine cent menu. That's
what Wendy's is. How fucking dare you lose the only
(06:58):
good thing about you?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Fuck?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It makes me really mad. When she said that are
under the desk news, I got mad she would mess
up my little budget. This twenty dollars got the last
meet for eight days. Shoot, So that's how we feel.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
We're sorry we started off so negative, but we swear
the rest of the show will be filled with joy.
You want to know why, because our guests destroyed yeall, guys,
we love her so bad joyel Nicole Johnson is one
of my little friends.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
We met while.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Being bad while her comedy special was nominated for a
Critics Choice and the Amber Ruffin Show was nominated for
a Critics Choice Org and we were at the ceremony.
We missed most of it because we were upstairs drinking
at the bar. That's how best friendships are. We were
so bad. That was a really fun night. And then
(07:56):
since we've had a million fun nights because now we're friends,
and tonight we all get to have a fun night
together because we got our chie see her. Yay yay, okay,
so there's more fun times ahead with our good friend.
So stick around, won't you? All right? Welcome back to
(08:27):
the Ambray and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show. We are
so ready to spend time with this seasoned New York
City comedian who has cracked up audiences nationwide through a
stand up writing and on screen performances. When we see her,
it brings us great. Her first name, it's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Wait,
so it brings us great, Joyel, I Amy hello from
(08:58):
another we just saw you, yes today basically, I mean,
I don't know what days are, so for sure it
was definitely yesterday or last year. So Lacey and I
had a joint birthday party where we were like, look,
our house is a little far out of town, so
come to a party and then freaking stay the night.
I don't know, you can't be driving everywhere. You can't
(09:21):
be coming up here getting drunk and then driving home.
And enjoy Elle came and spent the night and we
partied so hard and it was so super fun. If
you ever throw a party, and oh I'm a person,
I also really in my bed in advances. Yeah I knew.
(09:41):
I knew I was like Robbie drinking. And I also
would like to say you are very responsible adults, because
we were definitely asleep by about one am. Major earlier.
I had started drinking at four. My drinking starts at
four pm. Yes, I'm having my first drink at eight
is not gonna do. I'm not gonna make it. You
(10:03):
start drinking out four, you can roll, you can roll,
and you guys wake up early. You are early birds
in the house.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, it was about seven thirty two am.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Came out like.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Somebody's mom in the evening. Do you remember when she was.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Like, I'm going to sleep now you're liked.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And were like, and I think everyone else should follow?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Should you'd know I did it all of a sudden,
some rollers in her hair. I don't see the chop
of rollers in her hair. I don't make other people
like a little cigar. It was a sac a rillow everybody.
I didn't tell everybody go to sleep. Don't see that
(10:49):
medaling kids? Yeah, I mean it was definitely time for
me to go to sleep. And I appreciated the mother ring.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She had a belt in her hand. She was she
changed up. I was there.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I said one person got beat when amber came down
the stairs. I did not the belt at our birthday party.
I thought I heard once one little slash. It was
a lick. You know how they hold both ends and
both hands and go.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Smack beat as kids.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
You really to get us spanking at our house, you
had to be like, I'm going to do my best
to get a spanking. You didn't just end up spanked.
By the time you get a spanking, you'd be like, yeah,
you earned it. I remember saying, just spank member. My
mom had made us Brussels sprouts for the very first time,
(11:44):
and I took one bite of those and was like, yeah,
I'm gonna get a spanking, And I said, just spank me.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Just you didn't finish your food. You got in trouble,
so I was like, you know, I'm ready. That's so funny.
You just laid on the cross, he said.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
You did. She get spakings and my mother she worked
too much and I got spanked once and it was
for forging her signature. I think I was in I
don't know, like middle school or something, and I think
she was just in a mood that day because she
came home and she hit me with like her purse
(12:19):
or something. It was hilarious and I was like, oh, oh,
she ain't having it today.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
She made them mad. I was a pretty good kid.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I would do silly things, but yeah, I didn't get
really spo I feel like maybe I had two spankings. Ever,
But one time did I tell the story on this
podcasts right? One time? When I was five, When everyone
was five, they would get taken to swimming lessons. So
when I was five, I would go to swimming lessons.
Dad would take me and I would go splash round
(12:50):
with my friends and have the time of my life
until the teacher would be like, now we're going to
put her heads underwater, and I would go, no, I can't,
and I would scream so bad. Would come down off
the bleachers and pick me up out of the water
and take me home. So then it had happened like
two or three times, and Dad was like, look, if
you do you want to go to swim class and
(13:12):
I was like, yes, I love it. And he was like,
if you start screaming and crying, I'm going to give
you a spanking, so put your head under the water.
And I was like, Dad, this isn't even a problem.
I will definitely not be screamed to cry. Get there
play around. The teacher is like Okay, now it's time
for us to put our heads underwater.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
And I start screaming.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I want to spaking. Dad came down off the bleachers.
He picked me up, and he took me home. And
of course didn't get his spaking, because you can tell
me a way.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I behave, I don't get. I didn't get space. Can
you swim today? I cannot swim. Also, the teacher had
to be very confused. What's going on in that lamar household,
that roughing household? Yeah, its not certainly not spanking or
(14:04):
else I would have gotten act together before I went
to the swimming class. Hello, guys, Drea, welcome. I'm so
happy to be What are what are all of your feelings?
All of my feelings today?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
All of them?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah? Oh my gosh, don't listen. Okay, I had therapy.
I have a couple therapy on Monday. I have individual
therapy on Tuesday. My partner has individual therapy on Tuesday.
And then yesterday I started a support group. So I
am therapised. So that is how.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, yes, oh that's good. Yeah, and I gotta start
back up with therapy. Yeah you do. I called your
therapist and what she gonna be mad in here about
an hour. So we got we got s Yeah, I said,
come to the house. Yeah they're coming.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
God damn house calls.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Listen, you can make a killing with that these days
because everybody's on a thread. So I am.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That's how I'm doing today.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I love that. I'm gonna I'm gonna get a shirt
that says I'm therapy shirt. I love it. Okay, Joy, Yes,
in your last special Love, Joy Peacock, you talk about relationships. Okay,
So you know, first of all, you know I'm on
the dating scene and am on the dating scene today.
(15:32):
We want to take a look in my DMS and
see if there's any hope out there. This is something
that we do. Please slide out of.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Lacey's DMS because girl, it's bad. Ooh the slip out.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh I can't wait to see. So just uh need
you to see how bad it is out here. First
of all, why I needed to say this? Why are
there so many people that take their picture and bite
their bottom lip? So I need us right now bite
our bottom lip, hold lip?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Would you teach yourself?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Why why are you sending me a picture where your
lip is gone? I don't understand I don't like it.
I don't click on those pictures. Its me you feeling.
How do you feel about that? I think I've never
looked totter than this. You gotta close the eye with
it too, would look like a pirate. Would you choose
(16:28):
you right now? Bite your bottom. You're driving in the corner,
look in the bite your lipody wants to but who
the lip?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It seems like that's like a Michael B. Jordan kind
of model.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not in these
joy You're not in these streets. Men will come up
and be like and keep walking like they think I'm
gonna be like, hold on, hold on, you just bitch
your lip, come back.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You're the one I that is.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I mean, I know it's a little like vibe thing,
but it's unfit.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Stop what are you doing? I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It's so funny because it seems like every time you
like a person, they could do goofy shit and you'd
be like, but I like you, but if anybody else
did that, so we gotta like you first before you
start biting your lip. People, that's that's the thing, thank you,
So that it could be you could do it if
I like you. I'm sure you know. Bite the lip.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I'll giggle, but don't don't start. Don't open with the lip.
Bite right. That's not an opener. I'm just more of
a closer. I'm literally got.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Rolling over the morning in the morning after.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You did something, you know, okay. Another person that slid
into my DMS. Swear to god, they.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Had this is the Normally people put maybe too much
stuff on their profile. He had his picture and then
this is under his picture. It's little area that says
a little about me, and then conversation starters and it
literally says a little about me dash. And then they
put something in there conversation starters. Dash. They write, he
asked a little about me. I work too much. The
(18:13):
second thing, conversation starters. Nothing comes to mind. That was it?
And then his age and what city he was in?
What is his age?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
It's like forty two? Ooh, you too old? Listen, sir,
did you not.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Want to find anyone? It's someone?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Are you being held at gunpoint?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Blink? What gives me an? Are you okay? Is someone
forcing you to make this profile?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Nothing comes to mind. Nothing. I don't want to talk
to you.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That is a cry for help. That is what That
sounds like a cry for help because I have a cousin. Listen,
I'm trying to help. I want everybody to be in
love in relationships, so I'm helping people out. And I
took over her dating profile and I was sending out
messages to dudes and I was like, Okay, what do
you read I need to go on this date? And
she said, well, I gotta work this weekend. And I
(19:03):
was like, all right, what about Friday night? She's like,
I got to work to eleven pm. And then when
you work at Saturday, She's like, I gotta get up
at seven am to go to work.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I was like, well, girl, you ain't got no time
to date. You're working too much. You don't.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I was like, you need to chill and set some
time aside so you can go out on a date.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And that dude was like, I got no time.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Help.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Oh he was asking for help. You should have helped them,
Lacey side jobs, can you be on my dating app?
I got thanks?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Please, I don't have a day job, Lacey, send me
your passwords. I'm down at you find someone for me.
That would be great. I will send you my date babe,
I'm gonna I'm going to give you another one. This
man messaged me and said, Hi, how are you doing.
I love my job. I work in pharmaceuticals. And I said, no,
(19:54):
you don't. You spelled it with an F. Google your words.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
And he blocked me. That's a blockable.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
You earned that block like I never get blocked. But
she made it up. You spilled it with an F.
Oh my god, and F is the same grade you
got in spelling.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Joe, ask you a spell.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I am a stickler for grammar and commas and two
two and two and there there there and there's oh god,
So no I couldn't do it. I'm like, oh baby, no, no, no,
no he said he said drugs. He said he says
marijuana so.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Or he's a farmer.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Or he thought pharmaceuticals was farming. If you thought it
was spelled with an F, you think you're farming, right,
I don't have time to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh my god, you can grow a mean collar said, no,
you don't. You spilled with an F.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
That's the meaning thing. You could have possibly the meanest
thing fixed.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
He wanted the helpen. He fixed this profile and he
took it off and now someone else is believing this
lie that's true.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Got to get your who tf did I marries out?
You know, you got to help them out so that
they can trick the next person better.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
We need a new rest of Tessa Thompson.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Wait, is it Reesa? It's Oh no, it's not. I've
been saying TA like a fucking asshole.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh no, people like Redda Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Man. I spelled pharmaceuticals with you, did you basically pharmaceutical joself?
Do we have time for one more? Do we have
another word? Let's do one more?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Okay? And what my question is? What app is this on?
All of them? All of them?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Okay, across the.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
World. I'm on the apps. I'm okay.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I love it, though I did get off of plenty
of fish that just ninety percent of the profiles that
were coming at me were fake and I just didn't
have time. A little clue for women that are on
any app. Really, if you decide that you want to
talk to this person, I screenshot their picture. Yes, I
(22:18):
do this, and then I put it in the Google search, sir,
you are not an evangelical pastor. And then I messaged
the evangelical pastor and said, someone's on Plenty of Fish
trying to be you and you a whole husband with
three kids, and he said, thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
This happens to me all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh but I love to bust them out and message
them back and go how's your wife and kid? And
I report it and then they block, then they take
it down. But I know they've got to be taking
down thousands a day. But I get people's profiles taken
down all the time because you should not be out
there pretending all the time. And that's why I was, like,
(22:56):
I am basically an employee now plenty of Fish. I
don't have time, so.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I gotta be a job. I'm sure that's a job.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So anyone plenty of Fish you are that is not
Roy Johnson. He that is Roy Wood Junior. And he
does not want to go on a date with you.
They're not real, Like I really, I'm not joking, but
like seventy five percent of the people were not. When
I went on my little dating app, I kept getting
messages that said, hey, cool profile. I'm also a big
(23:28):
fan of Amber Ruffin. You should take down this provice, Okay,
I'm sorry. Yeah, you have to do the opposite of
a catfishery, what do you put it?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Just like a young picture? Hi, it's me, it's hey.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Maybe you're getting catfished.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Maybe it's me.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Who knows?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
What a mess? Because if you Google me, it says married. Okay,
take that off of Google. Do you have to email this?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
There's nothing on earth you can do to stop Wikipedia
from saying that you are married. There is. I have
plenty of friends who are divorced and they're like, I
will forever be married on the internet because Wikipedia would
rather die than change my marital status. So I'm glad
(24:26):
they told me that because I tried a little and
then was like, okay, you know what, It's fine, I'll
just forever be married online. I guess wow, like you
a fake profile and then if you wait, you're married tag.
Oh my god, I am the I am the catfish.
You are the catfish. Oh that's nice, not real fun. Yeah, Hey, okay,
(24:51):
you guys, we did a good job. We did that
is please slide out of Lacey's dms. Always always a
good time, had a million more, always unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I kind of want more. I know we should. We
got to make this a book. Let me just do
one more. Okay, one more.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
This man probably was biting the bottom lip and he said,
looking for female that has her ship together?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Is that you?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I text back no, because in the dad, what are
you talking about, Sara, don't lead with that. You said, buddy,
while you said female, I'm out female, we out hotap Oh,
that's her ship together? You man wearing this is a
(25:39):
very angry greeting. I didn't even get a hello. I
got looking for a female that has her ship together.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Were gone and looking. Look so black.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Women, especially statistically have our ship together way more than
the men. So what are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I need I need a man. Yeah, I a me mail.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
A me mail is a person who is like me
but has their shit together. All right, now, I'm done
for real, I'm done, guys, she means stating she's guys.
That was Please slide out of Lacey's DMS. When we
come back from this adybty break, we're gonna share the
(26:26):
latest thing that we are obsessed with, and we're going
to find out what's getting right. Stick around. Hey, everybody,
welcome back to the emmor Lacy, Lacy and Ember Show.
Joel We want you to play can you stand it
(26:47):
with us? It's an easy game that everyone wins. Quick question.
Have you ever loved something so much that you couldn't
stand it?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Well?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Today, we want you to share that feeling and let
our audience know what caused your latest obsession and we'll
share ours too. Who wants to go first? Lace Face,
I'm going say face. I need everyone to know that me,
Amber or older sisters, we lived off of PBS. We
(27:15):
know every song, every song written Sesame Street. We all
live in a capitol.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I'm in the middle of the city, in the center
of this guy like. That was a creepy song that
scared the hell out of me.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
But there are just these random Sesame Street songs that
we know there.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Do you, Joel, do you love Sesame Street?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Okay, so do you know that song?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Though?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Young capital a baby? I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I don't know that I'm a baby. I'm forty two. Okay,
you're nice. Fraggle rock fraggle rock was great, was great,
It was great. Amber.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
What was your favorite Sesame Street song?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
It might be or skit It's it's a tie, well,
skit is, well, it's a time, It's either oh, Jelly,
won't you come home? Jelly, won't you come home? Jelly,
won't you come Oh? That was James Taylor singing that song.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I also liked. Yeah, it was a good song.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It was.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I also liked give Me.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
One, two, three four. But if you love me more.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Gimme five, give me, give me, give me five.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's cute, lacy, Okay, you guys are definitely songs. Definitely
for give me five, give me five. Remember when the
Orange sing opera, No, the Orange and she first she
rolled on, she had nothing. Yeah, it's cute. Love that. Yeah,
(28:49):
I love that opera. But my favorite skit was loaf
of bread, container milk and a stick of butter. How
come I went and got the ball.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Put it to the thing that is so beautiful? It's
a black girl.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It was an affro. Yes, it was a black girl.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If y'all see me on an event Oscars whatever, I
might be carrying this back. That's how much I love
so cute And don't be trying to steal my bad.
Let's see, I can make a potato chip las back
the right somebody, can you? Yes?
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Anyway, That's what I'm obsessed with.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
This all things sesame street, Yo, what's your favorite sesame
street bit? Oh god, I don't one, two, three, four, five,
six seven Is that?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Eleven twelve? That's the Pointer Sisters? No. One, four, five, six, seven,
eight nine did eleven twelve? I was thinking that was
Electric Company. It's not. You're right, okay, because I wasn't
sure it's the Points. I just saw a tweet about it,
(30:02):
not an hour ago, all up.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
In your head.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
I tried to get on them in your mind. That
wasn't it was JOYO. What's your favorite thing? My favorite thing?
Person plus thing. My favorite thing right now is o
ma case sushi service. Have you guys ever done this? No?
Say what it is? Okay? I am a fancy beach
(30:31):
and I don't have kids, and I also do not
like to cook. So I spent a lot of money
eating out and omakase sushi is basically when you go
to a sushi counter and the chef just puts whatever
they have, the freshest fish in the world in front
of you. They'll sometimes have twelve courses, they'll sometimes have
(30:52):
seventeen courses. I've gone to different places in Canada. I've
spent a lot of money on one meal for special
occasions but also for Tuesdays. And I have my favorite
o Macasse spots in the city and abroad.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Makse Yeah, I go as much as possible. I would
love to take you to if you guys like sushi.
I don't know if you do, because if you sure out, okay, listen, no, no,
I will, I'll do sushi.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And I need you to know.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I went to one of these things in Omaha, Nebraska.
It's in Benson and it's called Yashi Tomo and I
follow the chef who loves amber. Oh, so shout out.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I wish I could.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I'm trying to look up his name right now and
it's going to leave me and I'm so sorry, mister sir. Anyway,
I went to a friend's party and we had a
We were in this little special area and he was
preparing the food in front of us.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
So I guess that's what I didn't know. That's what
it was called.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, yes, that's the type of service it is, so lacy,
you'll come with me. There's some great spots. Shout out
to Karami in the Hell's Kitchen and Sushi on Me
and Queen is one of the funnest things of all
time that had like it's a party up there, so
it's like the heyday of a macase and everybody's doing
(32:09):
their own twist on it.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
So I love it. It's like my favorite thing to do.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Guys, the newest trend in food is oh macase. They
say it right, your dad shout out to David Fear. Okay, guys,
now my can't stand it is something new. This week,
I was out with my friends at the mall and
(32:33):
we were buying suits. I love to buy suits from Zara. Zara,
I have all your suits. Please come out with more suits.
Do you have the pink?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Do you have that?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I didn't buy the pink.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I liked it, I didn't buy it because I have
one at work that's probably the same fucking suit. So
I went to the mall and I bought all the
suits from Zara, and then I got hungry and went
to my favorite place on earth to chase. Okay, first
of all, I didn't know where she searched me. Stop,
(33:06):
this is what Amber does. We thought. I thought she
was going to do something different, but maybe if you
listened to the show before, she never switches it up
and it's always freaking cheat. Yes, Trigger, I was a
server there. Thank you, absolutely no, Yeah, I knew I
(33:26):
loved you, she said Trigger Trigger a good place on Joe.
Did you know that Amber lives there? Like?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Did you know you heard.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
This about her? She talks about this often. What's your
favorite meal on the menu? I would never pick a
favorite meal. I love it there, everything okay, every drink okay,
every I love everything okay. Yeah. When I worked at
the one in New Jersey, we had these guys called
(33:56):
the Jamison Boys or something, and they were these stock
broker millionaires that would come and just do like shots
of jameson at the bar and they would leave like
a thousand dollars tip for the bartender. That was a
fun memory, but for the most part it was traumatic,
especially especially learning the menu. Girl, you can't the training
(34:20):
is a boot camp because you have to learn all
of the ingredients to everything on that menu and the cheesecake.
And I didn't care. But I truly didn't study that
much in college. I did very well on that test.
I would pass that test tonight with flying colors, because
(34:42):
I know that bitch. We found another job and I
would work there in a minute.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
I would get some stock in them.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
I should do.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
I don't know they're public, but they should be. They
should be.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, needs to buy it. You need to just run one.
Then I would lose so much money as much as
you feed my goddamn self. Yeah, oh, good for you. Yay.
I should have went on cheesecake match dot com, downloaded
that app and date the cheesecake factory. We'd be married
(35:21):
by now. I love it, you guys, I love you
very much. I think we did a good job. Hey, everybody,
it's time for our segment called That's Rank, where the
three of us, the only three opinions in the world
that matter, rank our top three favorite things. And we've
ranked several things already, Cereal, we've ranked fast food chains,
(35:45):
and now.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
We are going to rank.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Remember when you were younger and you would go to
the amusement park. I'm probably the only child that hated
the amusement park, didn't love it. I was always the
purse holder, the bag holder, and I sat down and
talked to old people.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
There's an elderly man on a bench. That's my man.
I'm gonna sit and talk to them.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I don't want to be flying through the air risking
my life, almost dying, throwing up, peeing on myself, which
I did on all of those damn rights. Hated it.
So Joel, were gonna start with you because I feel
like you were adventurous when you were little. I feel
like if someone said an amusement park, you were like yeah,
and you went, what were your three favorite rides?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
What were the best amusement park?
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Rightes?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Okay, So a side note.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I grew up in New Jersey and my cousins would
take us to amusement parks all the time. And there
was this water park called Action Park that was amazing fun. Yes, yes, yes,
they had to close because children were flying in the
air and dying. They had to close the park. And
(36:54):
I was on those rides as a kid where you'd
be like you'd lift up off of the water slide,
be mid air, five hundred feet in the sky, and
I was like, WHOA crazy? But I loved it. I
loved I loved Action Park. Great Adventure is in New
Jersey and we had Sesame Place. I loved it, the
(37:15):
Sesame Place that was really adorable. It was in a
water park as well. Favorite rides I who, I don't
know if I remember real quick. I have to say,
you gotta watch the movie class Action Park. It's a
documentary about Action Park, and it really details all of
the teeth that were lost to all of the bones
(37:36):
that were broken, broken, and I feel like there were
some deaths, so just why they.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Had to close it. There were deaths.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, you gotta you gotta watch that documentary. You wouldn't
believe it. You wouldn't believe it. Yes, yeah, okay, I'm
so sorry. Yeah, and uh so used to favorite rides. Yeah,
I don't remember the names of them. Well, I love
Space Mountain. When I was a kid at this land,
Space Mountains, Space Masain was fun. It was in the dark.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Okay, boo, I don't remember the names of the ride.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's okay, descriptions. So Space Mountain is one. I'll know
what Space Mountain is.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That was fun.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
There was one that would go upside down and had
a lap bar on that was terrifying because I was
because I don't like the harness. The harness makes me claustrophobic.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So it was just a.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Lap bar and I was like, how does this work?
But it was because of centrifugal force or however you
say that word.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
But I think people also died on that.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
I think where was this the right that you're talking about?
Where was it? I think that was that might have
been at Dorney Park. I'm not I'm not sure. I
went to a lot of them growing up, and I
don't remember the names of the rides. But I had
a good time when I was a kid. I liked
the Superman.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
One where you dangle in Yes, that was so cute.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
That one was fine. I don't like anything we just drop.
There's no need for that. I don't like I just drop.
I need I need some popping circumstance. I need some
some ups and downs. I don't like just to drop.
But I do like a water park. I love a
water park as long as you know you don't die.
I don't want to die at the water park. So
you like the water slides. I love water slides, like
(39:19):
the tube or just like open an open slide. I
kind of like in the tube because I feel like
every time I open slide I get a cut or something.
I come off bgleds on an open slide. I need
a tube with somebody. I like a lazy river. I
love a lazy river.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
I get into it.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Ever I feel like these are the best rides. The
thing that goes okay, it has a center. From the center,
there's a bunch of outstretched arms. At the end of
each arm is like an airplane, and it goes up
and down and around. Now, that thing, when you are
a child is the best fucking thing on earth. I
(40:05):
remember being like, my god, I'm a god damn pilot.
Shit flying through the air. This is the best. So
that it was like Cody Island. It's everywhere in Disneyland.
It's dumbos. In most places, it's just airplanes. I absolutely
adore that thing. I also love a roller coaster, because
(40:26):
roller coasters frickin' rule, even when they're bumpy and terrible,
I absolutely love them. Now that I'm a little more colaustrophobic,
I wonder if I could I feel like I right
like as I got older, the harness, like when they
lock it in panic. Yeah. Yeah, Now that my body
knows how to panic, I don't know that I can
(40:46):
be dwisted. What is the best ride? Okay, so I'm
trying not to include rides from this place, but it
has to be said. There is an amusement park called
Efteling and it's outside of Amsterdam. And the whole caveot
of the place is that it's it's like fairies and
and elves and shit built it. It's in the middle
(41:08):
of the forest. The forest is still there. And each
ride like there's nothing saying what you're in line for.
You get your ass in line and you get what
you fucking get. Also, like some of the rides smell
beautiful and look beautiful, and that's you just are like
in an egg going around uh a fairy town and
(41:32):
you're like, ooh, this is winter in the fairy town.
This is spring in the fairy town. And and there's
beautiful music and each ride has its own like lovely music.
And some of them you just walk in and it's
a theater and a bunch of animatronic frogs sing a song.
The frogs sing a song and you leave and that's it.
So then, but one of them is what No, I
(41:54):
like this music park? This a musement park. You could
do it, and it sounds like you I want to
do nothing. Also, you can come with me and I'll
tell you us what Now. The best ride in this
place is called Villa Volta. You walk into it, it
looks like a bank, where like it has big white
columns and like a it looks like like maybe like
(42:16):
the White House. You walk in there, you go into
a room. An animatronic old man sitting on a pile
of gold goes, I used to rob he's saying this
in Dutch. I used to go around with a bunch
of pirates and we would rob people of their gold,
and they called us the goat riders. And then I
(42:38):
took all the goods I stole, and now I'm cursed
in this house forever.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
My Dutch isn't great.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
So you go into the next room and you sit
on pews that are like bleachers, right and the and
you're in this giant room that's like a ballroom, and
there's a lot of like golden shit in it. But
the place is cursed, and the pews start to move
and they go back and forth and back and forth
(43:05):
until they go up and around, and you spin around
the room from the bottom to the side to the
top to the side to the bottom, and you go
round and round, but you're not moving. You if you
have a bottle of water, you can set it down
on the ground. You're not really moving, like the pews
move a little bit, and then the room spins, and
then the pews move back, and then the room spins.
(43:28):
When you go there, drugs moving, it's the fucking best.
It'll it'll melt your brain. It's the best. It's my favorite.
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I wouldn't be able to be on drugs in that room.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Who fun the time to think of that?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
That's beautifulreat The whole thing is so great.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
The whole thing is full of shit like that where
it's like just adorable for adorable sake. It's great. Guys,
go to the Efteling. You will not be disappointed. Okay,
my list is this nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Ended.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I want to do.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Amb knows. I don't want to do anything. I don't
want to be there. You'll do a lazy river if
I have to.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
But I am in people's filth floating in there. But
it is and if I don't have to do that,
I will not. Just children are peeing in the lazy river,
adults are peeing.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
I don't want to sit in No.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Yeah, yeah, I don't care about any I can go
to amusement park. Amber made me go to. We all
went to the Universal Universal Studios with our family and
every time.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Lazy, are you coming in?
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Give me your backs? Meet you on the other side.
She came out on thetail. I'll see a Turkey lake. Yeah. Yeah,
that's like the designated driver.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Everybody needs the back, everybody needs me. You're a very
hold human being. You're not going to do a thing
going upside down on that.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
You got the baby in the stroller, you got all
the bad things.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I was holding the strangers stuff. Give me that be
give me that. Don't you.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Shield you from the sun? I love that.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Guys. We did a good job. We did We ranked everything.
We went through Lacey's d MS, and we told each
other all of our feelings and that that's therapy. It's
a good day. So we would like to thank Joy
L Nicole. Follow at Joy l Nicole everywhere. J O
y e l l e n I c O l
(45:26):
e j O y e l e n I c
o l e j O y e l e n
I s c oh l e. Oh.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
That's a good one. That's a good song.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
But her bye her by Droyel's album Yell Joy and
watch her latest special love Joy on Peacock. I'm at
Amber Ruffin and Lacias at Lacy lamar One. Don't forget
to follow our podcast feed wherever you get your podcasts,
rate and review us. And bye, We Love You So bad.
By Dreel. We Love you so bad.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Bye,
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