July 3, 2024 • 46 mins
This week, Amber and Lacey are joined by some of their new favorite people --- Zaron Burnett and Elizabeth Dutton! The four chat ridiculous crimes, talk Lacey's love life, do Sister Court, and more!
Want advice answered on the show? Write to Amber&Lacey: AmberAndLaceyAdvice@gmail.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Close your eyes and imagine two cut ladies.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh you can't because that would be crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's the Amber Lacey Lacy and Amber Shoe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Amber. Did you like that song? You have a real gift? Yeah,
thank you. Your gift is for truth.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Telling, no closure, and don't nobody cares? Fucking dare you
to imagine a cuter person like us?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
They not like us, They not like us. Amber. I
know you don't want to talk about this.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Oh, oh everybody, Hi, this is the Amber and Lacy,
Lacy and Amber Show, the best podcast in the world.
We just turned another Michelin star. Yeah, I've been watching.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Bear.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Okay, what I know.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Amber probably doesn't want to talk about this, but I
just need to say it real quick. I'm going to
have to leave the country because I don't know who's
going to become president and I'm worried.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I saw the debates and it was sad. And I
know you didn't watch it, but it was really sad.
I didn't watch it. I was doing a show. All
I did was ketchup online. I don't know if we're
supposed to be talking about topical stuff like this because
we don't know when the podcast comes out. It dates it,
but it is huge news.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It's huge.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Okay, cut it out if you guys don't want it
in there. But I had to say it and throw
in my two cents because they're gonna be talking about
this forever, okay, and they're going to ask me to
run for president and I have to be ready. I
don't know, guys, I don't know. Like I think it's time.
I think it's time to do like a full like president.
(01:49):
What was his name, Mountain Dew Camacho. Remember what was
that movie where Terry Crew's Idiocracy? Oh, okay, that movie Idiocracy,
and it was like Mountain Dew Cabato. I've never had
a president. It was just like a big silly idiot.
And guys, I'm you're in time to take the keys
(02:10):
away from Grandpa. It's time to take the keys away.
Tell them to sit down. God bless America. And I'm
I mean that literally, Please God, bless us, bless us.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh Lord help now. I'm not religious, but you help me.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Jesus, please, black baby Jesus, save us, Black baby Jesus.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Looking at Costa Rica, looking at Nammbia. That's all I'm
gonna say. But more importantly, the Bear. The Bear is
coming back. It's back. I've watched two episodes. It's my
favorite show. It's my favorite. I can cook anything on there, though,
I see it and like, I can do that with
my eyes closed.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's Lacy can cook, that's real. I can't.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Can I make a scalloped shape like a swamp? Probably not,
but probably not. I feel like you probably can't every
dish on there.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I see it. I can do it now, But I cook.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
There's a fifty percent hit rate, and by hit I
mean is it edible or not? Fifty percent of the time.
It is interesting. You make something and throw it trash.
That did happen to me once. That did when I
burnt the onions. You were there once. It happens to
me fifty percent of the time. I'll never I can
(03:22):
doctor up anything. I can fix it something, But I
say make something and be like, what the.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hell stream who does that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Five year olds do that?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But Amber is young, she's only like twenty something. I
helped you, I helped you out.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I like that lie you told about the whole lie.
It felt great. I really to feel though we keep
saying this, we need to work on our cakes because
I feel like you do you mean.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I got I got cakes. I don't need to work
on nothing. There's someone else here on this podcast. I
ain't gonna say the name rhyme with Amber. Maybe they
need to work on their cakes. But Lacy's kale. Lacy's
cakes be caked. I'm fine. I'm you don't have floopy cakes.
They're just smaller, smaller than mine. The baby Oh they're
(04:20):
baby cakes. No, we I don't know how we got here.
We need to work on our cake decorating. We're having
all these events at the house. We need to be
pumping out. Yeah, some amazing cakes, and I think we
can do that. You're right, Lacy. Now, Amber and I
again talk a lot of shit. We see a lot
(04:41):
of cooking shows. We think we can make everything on
these shows. But I really think I can do the art. Yeah,
I can do the decorating. We need to work on this.
We need to do pump out some cakes and then
have them on the podcast. No, Hello, cake, Hi, yesterday?
How little clips?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Oops? I ate you? You're gone. Yeah. When I make
a cake, I eat one whole cake.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Them's the rules. Not all the things I throw away.
I never thrown away a cake.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Amber does like it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Every time I could make a cake job, making desserts
turns out better than the last. See now, did I
cook some meat? Okay, well, then we gotta be more careful.
We cannot. You can't just go biting it not meat
that I've cooked. You gotta check it out. Yeah, check
check check check it out. Guys, today you're gonna have
(05:32):
a lot of fun on this podcast. You want to
know why because we get to talk to Zaron Burnett
and Elizabeth Dutton from Ridiculous Crime Podcast. Guys, they're very
adorable and we're already in love with them. So you
listen to this ad from someone who is literally my
best friend, okay, and then I wonder who it's gonna make.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
It'll be like, hello, it's me George Santos.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
No, No, you are kidding.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You said it. You can't take it back.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
No, Okay, guys, we'll be right back after this.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the second act of Boom Chicago.
And that is what I really wanted to say. That's
what naturally comes out of my mouth when I say
welcome back. I yelled to the second act of Boom Chicago.
I'll tell everybody what Boom Chicago was. Boom Chicago is.
Chicago is a theater in Amsterdam that a lot of
comedians go to, and I was there for five years.
(06:47):
So when I say welcome back, that's where my brain goes.
But I was wrong to welcome you back to Boom
Chicago unless you're listening from Boom Chicago, in which case,
what's y'all doing over this in real life? Welcome back
to this portion of the Ambra and Lacy Lacy at
a show you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Were finally say a good name.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yay. Today, we're very excited because we have Zaron Burnett
and Elizabeth Dutton from the Ridiculous Crime Podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, good to be here. Hi, you guys, so excited
to have you because we fucking love what you.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
So do I we need to say something, Amber and
I need to tell you we need to brag. We
were neighbors to Jeremy Blanchard who was on The Jewel
Thief on Hulu.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Did you watch that?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
He lived store to us and Imber with his little
sister and our brother was friends with him.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No way talking about.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Growing up like you knew him growing up? Wow, We
covered his story, and like his high school identity, he
very much speaks on that. Do you all remember listen,
we're about to debunk everything.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Mother Bicker goes, I'm from the mean Stream Street, Breska.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
You had a pool, you had you had an acre
yard in a pool.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
If you do not.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Stop, that's rough, that's rough upbringing. He was not in
a gang.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I don't know what he said he was, but biggest nerd,
thick ass glasses.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
It's classes in mine.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Sir, I was president of the nerd club, but you
were Grand Huba of.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
The nerd Club, never missed a meeting.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
The biggest nerd of all type. Could not believe he
said that, what, sir, you were not any.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Way I saw you on yourself. We're done.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I'm sorry, no more. But he was like very normal
and very very nice.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Like he was just regular because I was a little kid,
and he would be like, hey, this is a Cbee radio.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You can use this to talk to people and a thing,
isn't that neat?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Like you would be like that, perfectly normal, like a
little dad, perfectly fine, interested in finding out how things worked.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But now we realize how he could steal shit.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Wow, he put that nerd to use.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, he really did. He really did. I'm really proud.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I'll never finding out that he got arrested and then
escaped through the ceiling, because that.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Was yes, he escaped from the police station while they're there.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They said, you wait right here. They went to a
different room to talk about him. They came back, he
was gone. He had climbed out through the drop ceiling.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But that's achievement. That's power nerd achievement, Like that's thinking.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That's the would not think about it. They'd be blown
away bout the magic trick. He was just here, he's
not here.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It worked. It worked.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So magicians, if you're out there and you want to
change your profession, maybe suggest stealing shit.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeahrime was waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
When did you guys have him on your show?
Speaker 5 (10:18):
We actually interviewed him. He's one of our few interviews.
It was when the Hulu documentary is coming out. His
people reached out to us, were like, you know what,
that sounds like kind of fun. We got to talk
to this cat.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
So he was. He was a total sport with us.
He played along.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
He ended up doing what we have a section called
the picture where we give people we put them in
the scene of a crime, and he put us in
the scene of his own crime, so that was cool.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, I gotta go back and I have to listen
to this. So was it like a podcast? Could you
see him?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:47):
I interviewed him over and I could see it over zoom.
So basically we weren't not in the same room or
in the same space, but I was definitely speaking with
them looking at him.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
So yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My next question was was he in a palace filled
with gold? Because where he was did it look expensive?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
It looked like a hotel room. That's what it looked like,
to be honest with you look at a hotel room
and then that the dr people are like, yeah, ye,
are you comfortable?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
So I have to guess it was. And he does
not live in a home decorated like a hotel room.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Was it like a nice hotel room or was.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It like business you know, Motel six?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Was it Motel six or rits?
Speaker 5 (11:20):
No, it was like a little bit about comfort sweets
whatever that is. Yeah, way away from red red roof
in Like, it wasn't like down that way. It was like,
I don't know, somewhere not quite approaching Marriotte sweets.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So on the spectrum.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
How we doing on that?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah, that's good. Was it a Marriotte bond boy property?
I could not answer, Okay, thank you. You would know,
you would know?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Yeah, right, I think I would know, but not a
bond boy.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
You guys are really good at ranking hotels.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
We travel enough?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, and I that should be we should do a
that's rank at the end of this episode in rank hotels.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Oh I'm in Oh yeah, obvious. I mean you.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Gotta have an expertise in something exactly exactly who he tells, Okay,
you guys, Yeah, yes, I have a question for you.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You have to get asked this question every day of
your lives.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Why did you choose to highlight crimes that are completely
without violence?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Elia? The only answer is I.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Can answer that I am a consumer of true crime stuff,
but I don't want to live in it as a
as a gig right, I'm very careful, like as a writer,
what I want to live in if I'm working on
a project, because you're in and you're in it for
such a long time, I don't want to talk about
the end of someone's life or the worst day of
(12:44):
the life of all the people around them. And I'm
such a terrible voyeur where I'll listen to it, but
I don't want to be telling those stories. And I
can't take anything seriously, so I can't joke around about
that kind of stuff. And I get tired of all
the stories of dead women, Like at some point it's
just enough, and there's so much content out there of
people being ridiculous, like why not tap into that? And
(13:07):
I think it's been like a really nice, you know,
relief for people to know that we're not going to
talk about someone's murder. We're going to talk about, you know,
someone shitting all over a plane. You know, it's much
I find that much more entertaining.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
But just selfishly, it's easier to make jokes on a
plane than someone being murdered.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, exactly, did you guys during that episode shout I've
had it with these motherfucking turns on this motherfucking.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Plane idea, like those kind of like adapted quotes, but
also the euphemisms for poop. It was an exciting time
for me to come up with all the different ways
it was.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The medium to work. I absolutely love it, you guys.
I think we should slide into Lacey's dams already.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Oh yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Then? Well, do you know I got them?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
You have amazing We would share bad like a murder,
but they're not a murdered. I love got murdered. We
do a segment on them and Lacey. Lacy and Ambershaw
called the police slide out of Lacey's d ms. What
that is is where we read actual d ms that
men have messaged her on the dating apps and they're eventful.
(14:35):
Is that is that how you say bad? There's so many.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
The behalf of man. I just want to apologize before
we get.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Into these no problems, and some of these we could
solve crimes.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
The door, Yeah, that's the guy on the plane.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
We found him. We found him.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Okay, I'm just gonna jump right in. This man said hello,
do you live in New York? We should go out
for drinks. Now, I just need to preface this. Someone
can send me the most normal message, and what I
do before I say anything, I'm going to go to
your profile and see what are you showing the world,
what are you.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Saying about yourself?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So before I said sure, I got this profile and
he said Amtrak ticket conductor, part time Army Airborne veteran
personal trainer, male exotic dancer. There is my phone number.
East Coast females only please for now. Oh the dark, verry,
the sweeter, the jukes, stop stop stop ps. If you
(15:46):
smoke cigarettes, I can't be around you. Maryland, Washington, DC, Pennsylvania,
Virginia females.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Only anything on the Amtrak corridor now, thank you. I
put that together and I use I got a good
free tickets. God, you are so right.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I wish to God I could show you his pictures,
because any proceeds to just send a bunch of pictures.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
No, can you describe them colorfully?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I want a picture.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, one is a head to toe silk out. I'm
pretty sure it's a fake penis underneath. I did not
just trying to eagerate. Wow, just several just outlandish, like
cowboy outfits something that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
I just well, stripper. He is a stripper, so he's
got the fits. I mean, he might as well use him.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
But I really feel like I mean, he did ask
me for a drink, but more than anything, he's just
trying to get some gigs.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I'm not mad at it, but.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh yeah, but thank you. Do you have any bachelorette
parties coming up than.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Any parties anything anywhere on then get to you.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Okay, that's true. I'm going to say what I always say.
I can't stand this woman. Give him a chance, No
I will. He does get a chance.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
All he has eight jobs, that's true.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
But to settle for a man with one, this makes
him eight times better than every other candidate.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
The math does work well if you.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Go purely by the message. It's inoffensive. So he wasn't
sending you like unsolicited dick pics or being like, you know,
saying something really you know over the line. It was
you know, it came from an innocent place that he's
pure of hearts. I love his job, rides the rails
(17:47):
he rides. He could get you, he could get your
free I think I just gave it away.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
How old is this person?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Oh, heavens, he's forty's north of fifty.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I was thinking right around forty fifty, forty.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Fifty four years old, fifty four, although I don't know
he's giving fifty four vibes. But what if he's like
thirty two, then it's even funnier. He's fifty four, right?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
You know.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Him before? Yeah, it's like because you know him. That
sounds exactly like my cousin, exactly like right down the penis.
It sounds exactly like my cousin his business right as
he uses the females Bernard, Well, females. If he uses
the word females, that's it done. Nope, and next bad females. Yeah,
(18:39):
it is bad. Okay, guys, I'm going right to the
next one. You have another. Oh my gosh, I love this.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
This is another Hello, how are you before I'm even nice? Back,
let me go to the profile. Stay away from me.
If you have a husband that you're married to as
opposed to that works, are you already a boyfriend, a
boy who thinks he's your boyfriend, an ex boyfriend who
(19:06):
is basically still your boyfriend, still sleeping with the father
of your children, a man who's still in love with you,
or a feelings for a boyfriend who's undercover. So while
staying single and I'm building up myself, God will be
waiting for God. This is this doesn't speak well, he says.
(19:30):
God will be waiting for God to send me someone
who God actually deserves me as their future masculine libra leader, king,
husband and lover. So if God sent you to me,
then it's meant to be forever. I don't ask me
to read that again because I heard.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
He laid his trauma out like a counterfeit watch salesman
on like just under ray in front of you of
all the damage perceived or or you know, real or none.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
They all do it. I can't go to dinner want you,
because you're gonna every line was a story?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh completely.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Do you have a boyfriend who's still thinking about you
who may not have known he was your boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Want to hear about her? He needs a copy editor
step one right off. Yeah, and then after that there's
no help.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
There's no hope for this copy editor also needs to
be a therapist and talk it out.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Sir, My goodness, what a time you're having.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Man, give yourself a hug mm hmmm, because no one's
going to love you more than yourself. No one else
is going to give you yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
You can actually smell the bitterness coming off the words.
That was incredible.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
And then yeah, don't those two things spell the same? Lacy?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think you should give this guy chance. I can't.
I think he has a lot of room to grow.
Yeah he RECOGNI Yeah, that's right. Well, I mean, maybe
it's because you have ex boyfriends you won't let go up.
I don't ever think about that.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
They're all here, Billy be in the house of the
budget bit. You can't stop me, that's true. I can't
one just one more, I'll read. I'll read a short one, okay,
(21:39):
And I still don't know what he's talking about. This
is another Hello, how are you? And I go straight
to the profile and I think he's saying this is
what he wants in a woman, But I don't know
if he's describing himself kurvy fit.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Or anything.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
On this profile it says kurvy fit, someone not bumpy.
Well pretty much hate texting, but I will looking for
a nice nurse or someone with manageable crazy and likes
to dress cute a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I'm psychic too check my bump. I'm psychic to check
my wife my bumble. Wait, he refers you to another app,
another app that is that is a whole nother app
you just told on yourself. Does he know you're going
to check his bumble?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
And you should know not to send that to me?
Because that I did not respond to this.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
We didn't. I didn't just right back and tell him
you're not into Kirby.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Dude, he's trying to push Kirvy.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
If you don't put that into a whole sentence, I'm
going to assume pleased to meet you, Curvy, You're like, okay, yes,
oh man.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
You know Lacey does like her guys curvy and fit.
But she uses a different word. The word lay uses
is huscular.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, you meet it, know what that is? That's that's good,
that's my type.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
You said curvy. Yeah, you're like, I don't like men
with the matronly hips. I'm so sorry, hie.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Come on, I dated that guy though, you gave him
a chance, dated it.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
In the past. Tense though. Yeah. Okay, guys, Lacy, no,
I think we all learned something. Give him a shot.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, just head over to both people are talking about
how bad it is out there. Don't dismiss them, don't
say you know, it can't be that bad. Help you
to listen to this, Listen to the show. Don't feel
like they're connected in a group. They're being supported. We
got to be there for each other, and we'll be
(24:12):
here for you after this break. Stay tuned for more
of the in Lacy lay show. Hey everybody, welcome back
(24:33):
to the Inbred Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show sponsored by Love.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I like to lie about our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Oh lord, Love's not even a product, but if it was,
i'd of Botsom. It's time for a very special part
of our show. It's where we go to court. Not
just steady court, Sister Court.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Gee, for real. We are the music. We're the mirror
of the music.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So in Sister Court, we will present our judges with
a scenario. This scenario was emailed in by our listeners,
and Judge Zarin and Judge Elizabeth will deliver a verdict.
Lacy will present one side of the case and I'll
present the other side of the case. What's the case
(25:28):
this ticket? I'm gonna read the first one, Okay. The
one that you want to read is just someone saying
how much they love you and you can read better.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay, you don't.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I don't know how you paid your friend to send
in that, but that's not what we're doing right now.
Oh we'll get to that. Okay, this Sister Court. How
do I send a thank you card for a gift
that multiple people went in on. I recently got married
and there was a group of cousins who on my
husband's side, who signed their gift from cousin one spouse
(26:02):
one cousin two spouse, son to daughter two.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You get it.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
The gift would have amounted to about five dollars per adult.
Should I send a thank you card to the one
cousin with all their names on it? Or do I
send individual cards to each person on the list?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You know what I'm about to say.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No, I one person is enough. It's five dollars until
thank you, Sandy, tell everybody thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I'm sorry, Amber, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I am almost on the same side. Okay, send a
fucking email. It's twenty twenty four. Send an email, Send
a card, and then email everybody else. Don't send a card,
send it thank you emails. Send your email because once
you get done paying, what's a stamp cost? I mean,
I get I think it's mart.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I buy forever stamps you guys when the price goes Sam.
I am all about thank you cards, and because it's
it's really nice to get them, I would send one
to every single person. And let me tell you the
other alternate like ulterior motive I have is that that
is like that is such a I don't want to
(27:10):
say a flex, but it's like it's it's such a
one up, like you now you have the upper hand. Yeah,
like I'm more elegant than you. I know you all
chipped in five books, but here, thank you so much
for your generous gift. Put generous in there and and
then you know and they feel it. So now you
have the upper hand, You're better than they.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
That's why I would You're gonna go for petty but
by more.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yes, it's worth those stamps for me to do petty
but more.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
See, I would.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
I would agree with you and send the thank you notes,
but I would do it so that you don't let
them change who you are. So if you are someone
who sends thank you notes, send them. Don't let them
like drag you down. So otherwise I totally agree with you, Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Oh my judges are supposed to send a goal embossed
the flower. But there are all the things that you
say in your head though you're doing it like these
cheap like yeah, I've.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Got a lot of class, and I like that thank you,
thank you. You are not like us, Amber. Do you
want to read the next one? Yes, Okay, I'll read
the next one. My husband's best friend smells really bad.
Every time he comes over, he smells really really bad.
I don't know if he doesn't bathe or something, but
(28:25):
every time he comes over, the entire house reeks.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
After he leaves.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
My husband doesn't seem to smell it and doesn't get
how bad it is. Do I tell his friend about this?
Do I tell him that he can't come over? Or
do I just suck it up? So I really would
have ignored it had they not said the second really
really bad. I used that time to think about how
bad it must be. Or you don't want to get
(28:51):
that point across in two different ways?
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, yeah, well, like what kind of like is it
like the juice at the bottom of a garbage can
bat swampy? How do you I'd be like, he can't
come over? Well, you then reconnoiter and figure out okay,
because like sometimes I've done this where if this sort
of thing presents itself, you make it like it's something
that you've dealt with and you're telling them like you're
(29:15):
never gonna believe. Like I smelled so bad people were
fainting next to me on the bus, and you know what,
I did I washed my clothes. It was great. You
should try it. But like, if this is repeated and
he's nose blind to it and he's bringing it into
your home, just get out, tell you, tell your husband,
we're not doing this anymore. Figure out a way to
avoid him, or husband go to him. I don't want
it in my house. See I'm not that nice. This
(29:38):
is what I would do.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I would invite over your laziest friend. When stink but
is over. Lacey comes in the house and goes, Lacy
and this man have no connection. They'll never see each
other again. Lacey goes to this man, you fucking reek.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
That is genius.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I love that. Bring in the ringer, yes.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yes, oh sorry, I would never see would again that I.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Would have.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Oh, I would totally and I would do I would
do that for you. I would do that for you
in the world.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
The wife can then come in and play the savior,
being like, oh, I have the answer for you. Don't
worry about my friend. They bring up a good point,
but here's soap.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I'll introduce you to it. Or you're exaggerating it's bad,
but it's not so bad. This is what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Okay, what are you doing.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I'm going to my husband and I'm going to be like,
don't bring that fool back in his.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
House like that.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
It would only happen once, would once? This is my sanctuary.
You ain't coming in here funking it up. Tell me
And if my husband has any sinse gonna be.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
A little bit. He's not going to do it.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Oh yeah, I mean who doesn't. Who doesn't you respect
him more than your wife? Why it's not happy happy wife?
You better bring stinky in here and tell him he's
your friend.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And he can't get her like outside?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah exactly, how like ten outsides? But really he must
smell like too much perfume and bo right, yeah, we're
doing right.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It has to be heavy fun. I was like, yeah,
his washing machine does not work.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
It's not wash his sheets. This this decade, those sheets
have not been washed.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I did know someone who smelled bad, bad, bad bad
like that. He didn't come into my house, but he
was like, friend of a friend.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Did you tell him?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
No?
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Did you tell a friend?
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I was young. I didn't have the age and wisdom
and growing irritation that I have today. But I probably
would say something now.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I would want someone to tell me Yeah, I've had
that someone brings a friend and then every time we
get together that friend comes, and if we know that
that friend is coming, we go to flight events.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (31:58):
What about getting to deliver the message that's always devastating
the child?
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Like, yeah, right, that'll stick with.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Him though, that's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
No, guy, I see you don't have the balls to
do it, so they don't fucking do it.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yeah, the closest.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Person to that person has to tell them if Amber
stinks I'm gonna pull amberside and say she's not gonna
pull me instead Amber, Oh, I sure will of everyone.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
No, I would never.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Yeah, just needs to be told, needs to be told.
He can't be running around doing this.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
He does job.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
We could be responsible for him losing his job because
he's it's my god, you do a kindness. You're doing
a kindness when you tell them the.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Truth that needs to be shared.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
He's on these apps greeting women and.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
He's taking your ticket on Amtrak.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
A waiving that thing around, and he's thinking he could
have been married by now. Out of your house. But
this is all you. Every day he has, he smells
worse than the last one. That boy, right, Okay, wait,
what do you want to read the one where they're
(33:12):
praising you, Amber?
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I want to hear it, read it or read it
or read it?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Uh person really loves her? Oh the first one. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I want you both to know that you are sunshine
in a bottle and I love listening to you every week.
I love you both equally. I say this as a
preface as Lacy, you may not like what I'm what
I am writing to y'all about. You. See, I have
a conundrum that I feel Amber might be especially able
to assist me with. I'm a vegetarian and I love
to go out to eat. Because of Amber's weekly exaltations
(33:43):
of the Cheesecake Factory, I've decided to try to go again.
It has been years since I went, and I do
not think that I've eaten there since becoming a vegetarian.
I recently looked at their menu online and I was
very overwhelmed. I was hoping Amber could give me her
favorite vegetarian friendly options on the book length to Cake
Factory menu. I'm not vegan, so dairy eggs and honey
(34:03):
are good with me, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I apologize for what I may have unleashed.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Now Well, well fucking well, why he would say all
of this?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Tell our guests.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
I seem to mention the cheesecake factory quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I'm familiar with that. I've heard you do it now.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I'm right, the cheesecake factory is the best place on
planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
So having said that, if you're vegetarian and you're going
to the cheesecake factory, I feel like there are a
lot of good things. You can get one lettuce wraps.
Lots of times they come a chicken, but she can
get them without chicken.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Okay. You can also get the green beans, which I
really really like. Also, gosh, what else I mean? Do
vegetarians eep fish? Is that? That's right? Right? They don't. No,
if they're like a pescatar.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Nothing with a face. It's kind of their rolling with a.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Face or a butt. The butt's the best part.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
But what this was about.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Fish?
Speaker 3 (35:13):
But I haven't had a good fish but roasted. Well,
I'm not a vegetarian.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
You know, you got to eat the butt. Don't isolate that.
Don't isolate that. No, But honestly, my answer is the cheesecake.
Speaker 6 (35:35):
You get the dairy and you go into the cheesecake
that's how they made their Just don't get the beef cheesecake.
You're okayish cheesecake.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh yeah, honey is not allowed for vegans to eat.
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah, I know that's a product.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
I thought there's more of an animal product, like you know,
they made it, not like it came from their bodies,
like they collected it, right, And I know they know
they honey, but it's like kind of a byproduct. Like
who wants the we do.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
But they want to make sure they eliminate everything fun, right, Yeah,
they want to have a bad time.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
That's a big a bunch of them air wraps that
Amber described with no chicken's in.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
The lettuce wrap.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
If there's no chicken, hope other vegetables and that weird sauce.
It's yemmy, okay. Now they also have extensive salads. They
have a lot of salads. Men in them salads.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Big is true, that's true. Drink yeah, I just drink
your lunch.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
There you go, straw.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
It's called a liquid lunch. White men do it all
the time down on. It's perfectly fine. Okay, guys, that's
the end of Sister Court. Is that true, Lacy? It
is it's the absolute it's a bunch of nonsense. That
was right.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I love justice.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It was very productive. Okay, I want to do ranking, Lisa,
you no help, Let's do rank. Yes, great, that's rank.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
And I want our guests to rank their top three
podcasts that they've done with the most ridiculous crimes that
you guys have covered you.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
And I would say you already, no, no, no, go ahead.
Well one is just right off the bat. I always
like to give this as an example, is when a
teenager from the Bay Area stole Guy Fieri's bright yellow
Lamborghini and then proceeded to drive it around the Bay
Area for months just everyone would see him doing it,
and everyone Guy Fieri's friends are they calling him up saying,
(37:46):
hey man, I'm sorry for go buy.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
So, and he did it to impress a girl, and
then the girl was not impressed, and then she helped
the cops. So it's a whole great story.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Excellent.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, now months months not no, couple of months. Oh yeah,
I don't understand how you're not getting caught.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Driving real fast.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I'm guessing they don't pull people over here in the Bear.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Yeah, we're real casual about that.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I know.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Exactly. It's the home for it. Got one, Oh.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Gosh, I don't know the one that I don't know why.
It always kind of pops into my head at times
like this is Tommy Fits, this guy who was sort
of an amateur pilot and he stole a plane twice
and landed it on a street in New York twice.
What And I just like him. He's a he's a character.
(38:41):
But it was like a bar bet, like I bet,
I bet you I could land a plane on this
street and they're like, oh, no way. And he's like
out the door, goes to Jersey, steals a plane, flies it,
back lands it on the street while drunk, I assume,
all while drunk. Yeah yeah, so that's you know, we
got a.
Speaker 5 (38:57):
Lot of drunk century drunk too, like real drunk. I
like drunk nowadays, like drinking all day.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Drunk, very like flat top buzz cut.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Yeah, this wasn't his first time flying though, right, No,
watch a couple of.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Videos, y yeah, no, dude, can you think of another.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
About Frank Namara the guy This guy pretended to be
a doctor and then he performed surgery on He goes
and he joins the Navy and he's at sea in
the war and these Todays troops are brought on the
board of the ship and he then is like, you know,
just trying to get by, pretended to be like, oh,
I'm to worry. I got all the medicine for this
entire ship. And he thinks it will be fine because
(39:40):
they're not going anywhere near battle. But then the battle
comes to the ship and now he has to operate,
and he ends up saving all of these soldiers just
by reading medical texts. He's reading medical textbooks, Like he
goes back to his quarters like wait quickly, we see
where the spleen is. Then he goes back and operates
and he saves all these soldiers. I think his is
an insane one because then he ends up going on
like you bet your life. I think it was one
(40:00):
of the mid fifty TV shows and he's just telling
his story. The guy is an incredible like I don't know,
he's more than a con artist. He is just like
a like an impersonator of people in a way that
is so compelling because also the guy has a great heart.
He's not doing it to like cheat people. He's doing
it because he wants to like be accepted and be
liked and also to do something and be able to
(40:22):
use his talents. But his talents are all about like
doing impressions of other people. So he just spot on
impressions of other people. Yeah, and there's a great movie
starring Tony Curtis about it the.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Guy I'm looking it up. Do you know the name
of it? I do not remember. Yeah, Tony Curtis and
Frank Damres, the character.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
This is like catch me if you can.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
So he told this story not from jail.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
The military had to like pardon him. It was like
a whole thing because they were embarrassed because he comes
back a hero. He comes back to the Then all
of a sudden, they're like, wait, what do you mean
the hero is not really a doctor. So they're like, hush, Josh,
how do you like make this go away and keep
our hero and then make the journalist stop asking questions.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
It was like the whole thing. It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Putting me in jail left I saved twenty Yeah right now,
Amber and I joke all the time about this. We'll
see something on TV and I'm like, we could do that.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I could do it. Heart surgery. I cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Show me what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Let me see one video which is wrong because we
can't even get the Tylo water video want.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
We can't even do the dance.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
We talk ship.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
We could finish something, but do not.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Sit next to me while we watch American Ninja Warrior.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Oh yeah, I would love to do.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Convinced he would win Salmon, I would not. I'm convinced
I would not.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
It was the one show with the big balls and everything,
and you can jump at all the water hazards and
wipe out.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
One man that will get That will make you think
you can do anything. You watch that, You're like, I
can beat that. Oh my god, persons got their back
bent and half. You're like, I would do way better
on this giant red balls.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I'm not gonna ask either of you how old you
are once, but I'm I think I'm older than both
of you. I know I'm fifty. Okay, once you hit fifty,
you don't think you can do ship.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
There's a woman as a woman age, I know better.
You lost me and I have to jump.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
You see these stairs behind me?
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Amber sees me stop on the this this part right here,
I'll sit down on that there, and.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I think about my life and what are you doing.
I'm making my way up the stairs.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
That's take a while too. Just caught me on every step,
deep breathing.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Now she has a different life realization on it.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm like, I'm fifty, you guys, she says down and
she's like, maybe maybe I should have been on the ear.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Don't need that brush from upstairs.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Don't need it.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I can live without that brush.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah, Oh, I have an honorable mention. Please do bum Fardo.
We did an episode about a man whose real name
was bum Fardo. Excellent, and he was like a crooked
Florida politician. That's that's my other honorable mention.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
And a style king.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yeah. Everything he wore all red Faro. Yeah, Bumfardo. Like
I felt like I made it up. When I was researching,
it was like, this can't be happening.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Yes, it was just not real.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
If I if I had to guess who bum Fardo is,
I found a time machine and I went back in
time and I had a baby.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I found a.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Guy whose last name was Farto and I married him
because it's hilarious. Yes, we had a baby and I
named him bum and I was like, future Amber is
going to find out about this and left till she's sick.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
And that's what's.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Just that may have been maybe that was you. No
one likes this name more than me and it's not
even close. And he went missing and they sold shirts
where's Bombarda.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Because went missing? So yeah, people are still looking.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
For In a newspaper article at the time, gave me
one of my favorite lines ever. They asked this woman,
where do you think he is? And she said, you
know what, who knows who cares? I was like, all right,
that's my answer for everything. You know, one who knows
who cares?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
I'm shocked she didn't say up here, button around the corner,
never found Nope.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, no, he went on a cruise. He never came
back from correct.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I think he was a little mobbed up by Yah.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Got a pair of shoes.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
They go with everything. This has been the Amber and
Lacey Lacy Amber Show. We are freshly fallen in love.
You can hear it in our voices. We've fallen in
love with the entire ridiculous crime podcast duo Sarah Burnett
and Elizabeth dem They are as badly behaved as we
(45:17):
are and I just didn't. I didn't think we'd ever
find our truest friends. We foundated.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Well, this is love. Can I slide into the DM?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
I was just sometimes, do you like Amtrak? You're going
to love it? So, hey, everybody, you can find Amber
Ruffin at Amber Ruffin, probably on street.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
You can find lay Lacy lamar one on ship. Where
can we find you.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Guys, Ridiculous Crimes on some of the socials.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
It's at Ridiculous Crime on Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
And we have a website.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
The website is like, We've put so much money into
this thing.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
A couple of design awards, Ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Crime dot com and it's like it's one like five
webbyes and just going for the egot. We're going for
the egot. Perfect. That's it. Okay, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
I'm gonna go to your website and I expect to
be wowed.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, just walking will be.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Hey, everybody, thanks for tuning into the Ambering Lacey Lacy Nabershaw.
I love you bye bye, but not in a sexual
way like Lacey does, and she does cut it off.
Close your eyes and imagine two cut ladies.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh you can't because that would be crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's the Amber Lacey Lacy and Amber Shoe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Amber. Did you like that song? You have a real gift? Yeah,
thank you. Your gift is for truth.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Telling, no closure, and don't nobody cares? Fucking dare you
to imagine a cuter person like us?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
They not like us, They not like us. Amber. I
know you don't want to talk about this.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Oh, oh everybody, Hi, this is the Amber and Lacy,
Lacy and Amber Show, the best podcast in the world.
We just turned another Michelin star. Yeah, I've been watching.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Bear.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Okay, what I know.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Amber probably doesn't want to talk about this, but I
just need to say it real quick. I'm going to
have to leave the country because I don't know who's
going to become president and I'm worried.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I saw the debates and it was sad. And I
know you didn't watch it, but it was really sad.
I didn't watch it. I was doing a show. All
I did was ketchup online. I don't know if we're
supposed to be talking about topical stuff like this because
we don't know when the podcast comes out. It dates it,
but it is huge news.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It's huge.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Okay, cut it out if you guys don't want it
in there. But I had to say it and throw
in my two cents because they're gonna be talking about
this forever, okay, and they're going to ask me to
run for president and I have to be ready. I
don't know, guys, I don't know. Like I think it's time.
I think it's time to do like a full like president.
(01:49):
What was his name, Mountain Dew Camacho. Remember what was
that movie where Terry Crew's Idiocracy? Oh, okay, that movie Idiocracy,
and it was like Mountain Dew Cabato. I've never had
a president. It was just like a big silly idiot.
And guys, I'm you're in time to take the keys
(02:10):
away from Grandpa. It's time to take the keys away.
Tell them to sit down. God bless America. And I'm
I mean that literally, Please God, bless us, bless us.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh Lord help now. I'm not religious, but you help me.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Jesus, please, black baby Jesus, save us, Black baby Jesus.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Looking at Costa Rica, looking at Nammbia. That's all I'm
gonna say. But more importantly, the Bear. The Bear is
coming back. It's back. I've watched two episodes. It's my
favorite show. It's my favorite. I can cook anything on there, though,
I see it and like, I can do that with
my eyes closed.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's Lacy can cook, that's real. I can't.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Can I make a scalloped shape like a swamp? Probably not,
but probably not. I feel like you probably can't every
dish on there.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I see it. I can do it now, But I cook.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
There's a fifty percent hit rate, and by hit I
mean is it edible or not? Fifty percent of the time.
It is interesting. You make something and throw it trash.
That did happen to me once. That did when I
burnt the onions. You were there once. It happens to
me fifty percent of the time. I'll never I can
(03:22):
doctor up anything. I can fix it something, But I
say make something and be like, what the.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hell stream who does that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Five year olds do that?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But Amber is young, she's only like twenty something. I
helped you, I helped you out.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I like that lie you told about the whole lie.
It felt great. I really to feel though we keep
saying this, we need to work on our cakes because
I feel like you do you mean.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I got I got cakes. I don't need to work
on nothing. There's someone else here on this podcast. I
ain't gonna say the name rhyme with Amber. Maybe they
need to work on their cakes. But Lacy's kale. Lacy's
cakes be caked. I'm fine. I'm you don't have floopy cakes.
They're just smaller, smaller than mine. The baby Oh they're
(04:20):
baby cakes. No, we I don't know how we got here.
We need to work on our cake decorating. We're having
all these events at the house. We need to be
pumping out. Yeah, some amazing cakes, and I think we
can do that. You're right, Lacy. Now, Amber and I
again talk a lot of shit. We see a lot
(04:41):
of cooking shows. We think we can make everything on
these shows. But I really think I can do the art. Yeah,
I can do the decorating. We need to work on this.
We need to do pump out some cakes and then
have them on the podcast. No, Hello, cake, Hi, yesterday?
How little clips?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Oops? I ate you? You're gone. Yeah. When I make
a cake, I eat one whole cake.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Them's the rules. Not all the things I throw away.
I never thrown away a cake.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Amber does like it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Every time I could make a cake job, making desserts
turns out better than the last. See now, did I
cook some meat? Okay, well, then we gotta be more careful.
We cannot. You can't just go biting it not meat
that I've cooked. You gotta check it out. Yeah, check
check check check it out. Guys, today you're gonna have
(05:32):
a lot of fun on this podcast. You want to
know why because we get to talk to Zaron Burnett
and Elizabeth Dutton from Ridiculous Crime Podcast. Guys, they're very
adorable and we're already in love with them. So you
listen to this ad from someone who is literally my
best friend, okay, and then I wonder who it's gonna make.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
It'll be like, hello, it's me George Santos.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
No, No, you are kidding.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You said it. You can't take it back.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
No, Okay, guys, we'll be right back after this.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the second act of Boom Chicago.
And that is what I really wanted to say. That's
what naturally comes out of my mouth when I say
welcome back. I yelled to the second act of Boom Chicago.
I'll tell everybody what Boom Chicago was. Boom Chicago is.
Chicago is a theater in Amsterdam that a lot of
comedians go to, and I was there for five years.
(06:47):
So when I say welcome back, that's where my brain goes.
But I was wrong to welcome you back to Boom
Chicago unless you're listening from Boom Chicago, in which case,
what's y'all doing over this in real life? Welcome back
to this portion of the Ambra and Lacy Lacy at
a show you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Were finally say a good name.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yay. Today, we're very excited because we have Zaron Burnett
and Elizabeth Dutton from the Ridiculous Crime Podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, good to be here. Hi, you guys, so excited
to have you because we fucking love what you.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
So do I we need to say something, Amber and
I need to tell you we need to brag. We
were neighbors to Jeremy Blanchard who was on The Jewel
Thief on Hulu.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Did you watch that?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
He lived store to us and Imber with his little
sister and our brother was friends with him.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No way talking about.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Growing up like you knew him growing up? Wow, We
covered his story, and like his high school identity, he
very much speaks on that. Do you all remember listen,
we're about to debunk everything.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Mother Bicker goes, I'm from the mean Stream Street, Breska.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
You had a pool, you had you had an acre
yard in a pool.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
If you do not.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Stop, that's rough, that's rough upbringing. He was not in
a gang.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I don't know what he said he was, but biggest nerd,
thick ass glasses.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
It's classes in mine.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Sir, I was president of the nerd club, but you
were Grand Huba of.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
The nerd Club, never missed a meeting.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
The biggest nerd of all type. Could not believe he
said that, what, sir, you were not any.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Way I saw you on yourself. We're done.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I'm sorry, no more. But he was like very normal
and very very nice.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Like he was just regular because I was a little kid,
and he would be like, hey, this is a Cbee radio.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You can use this to talk to people and a thing,
isn't that neat?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Like you would be like that, perfectly normal, like a
little dad, perfectly fine, interested in finding out how things worked.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But now we realize how he could steal shit.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Wow, he put that nerd to use.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, he really did. He really did. I'm really proud.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I'll never finding out that he got arrested and then
escaped through the ceiling, because that.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Was yes, he escaped from the police station while they're there.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They said, you wait right here. They went to a
different room to talk about him. They came back, he
was gone. He had climbed out through the drop ceiling.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But that's achievement. That's power nerd achievement, Like that's thinking.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That's the would not think about it. They'd be blown
away bout the magic trick. He was just here, he's
not here.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It worked. It worked.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So magicians, if you're out there and you want to
change your profession, maybe suggest stealing shit.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeahrime was waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
When did you guys have him on your show?
Speaker 5 (10:18):
We actually interviewed him. He's one of our few interviews.
It was when the Hulu documentary is coming out. His
people reached out to us, were like, you know what,
that sounds like kind of fun. We got to talk
to this cat.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
So he was. He was a total sport with us.
He played along.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
He ended up doing what we have a section called
the picture where we give people we put them in
the scene of a crime, and he put us in
the scene of his own crime, so that was cool.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, I gotta go back and I have to listen
to this. So was it like a podcast? Could you
see him?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:47):
I interviewed him over and I could see it over zoom.
So basically we weren't not in the same room or
in the same space, but I was definitely speaking with
them looking at him.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
So yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My next question was was he in a palace filled
with gold? Because where he was did it look expensive?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
It looked like a hotel room. That's what it looked like,
to be honest with you look at a hotel room
and then that the dr people are like, yeah, ye,
are you comfortable?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
So I have to guess it was. And he does
not live in a home decorated like a hotel room.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Was it like a nice hotel room or was.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It like business you know, Motel six?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Was it Motel six or rits?
Speaker 5 (11:20):
No, it was like a little bit about comfort sweets
whatever that is. Yeah, way away from red red roof
in Like, it wasn't like down that way. It was like,
I don't know, somewhere not quite approaching Marriotte sweets.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So on the spectrum.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
How we doing on that?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah, that's good. Was it a Marriotte bond boy property?
I could not answer, Okay, thank you. You would know,
you would know?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Yeah, right, I think I would know, but not a
bond boy.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
You guys are really good at ranking hotels.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
We travel enough?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, and I that should be we should do a
that's rank at the end of this episode in rank hotels.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Oh I'm in Oh yeah, obvious. I mean you.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Gotta have an expertise in something exactly exactly who he tells, Okay,
you guys, Yeah, yes, I have a question for you.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You have to get asked this question every day of
your lives.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Why did you choose to highlight crimes that are completely
without violence?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Elia? The only answer is I.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Can answer that I am a consumer of true crime stuff,
but I don't want to live in it as a
as a gig right, I'm very careful, like as a writer,
what I want to live in if I'm working on
a project, because you're in and you're in it for
such a long time, I don't want to talk about
the end of someone's life or the worst day of
(12:44):
the life of all the people around them. And I'm
such a terrible voyeur where I'll listen to it, but
I don't want to be telling those stories. And I
can't take anything seriously, so I can't joke around about
that kind of stuff. And I get tired of all
the stories of dead women, Like at some point it's
just enough, and there's so much content out there of
people being ridiculous, like why not tap into that? And
(13:07):
I think it's been like a really nice, you know,
relief for people to know that we're not going to
talk about someone's murder. We're going to talk about, you know,
someone shitting all over a plane. You know, it's much
I find that much more entertaining.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
But just selfishly, it's easier to make jokes on a
plane than someone being murdered.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, exactly, did you guys during that episode shout I've
had it with these motherfucking turns on this motherfucking.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Plane idea, like those kind of like adapted quotes, but
also the euphemisms for poop. It was an exciting time
for me to come up with all the different ways
it was.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The medium to work. I absolutely love it, you guys.
I think we should slide into Lacey's dams already.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Oh yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Then? Well, do you know I got them?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
You have amazing We would share bad like a murder,
but they're not a murdered. I love got murdered. We
do a segment on them and Lacey. Lacy and Ambershaw
called the police slide out of Lacey's d ms. What
that is is where we read actual d ms that
men have messaged her on the dating apps and they're eventful.
(14:35):
Is that is that how you say bad? There's so many.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
The behalf of man. I just want to apologize before
we get.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Into these no problems, and some of these we could
solve crimes.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
The door, Yeah, that's the guy on the plane.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
We found him. We found him.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Okay, I'm just gonna jump right in. This man said hello,
do you live in New York? We should go out
for drinks. Now, I just need to preface this. Someone
can send me the most normal message, and what I
do before I say anything, I'm going to go to
your profile and see what are you showing the world,
what are you.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Saying about yourself?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So before I said sure, I got this profile and
he said Amtrak ticket conductor, part time Army Airborne veteran
personal trainer, male exotic dancer. There is my phone number.
East Coast females only please for now. Oh the dark, verry,
the sweeter, the jukes, stop stop stop ps. If you
(15:46):
smoke cigarettes, I can't be around you. Maryland, Washington, DC, Pennsylvania,
Virginia females.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Only anything on the Amtrak corridor now, thank you. I
put that together and I use I got a good
free tickets. God, you are so right.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I wish to God I could show you his pictures,
because any proceeds to just send a bunch of pictures.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
No, can you describe them colorfully?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I want a picture.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, one is a head to toe silk out. I'm
pretty sure it's a fake penis underneath. I did not
just trying to eagerate. Wow, just several just outlandish, like
cowboy outfits something that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
I just well, stripper. He is a stripper, so he's
got the fits. I mean, he might as well use him.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
But I really feel like I mean, he did ask
me for a drink, but more than anything, he's just
trying to get some gigs.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I'm not mad at it, but.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh yeah, but thank you. Do you have any bachelorette
parties coming up than.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Any parties anything anywhere on then get to you.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Okay, that's true. I'm going to say what I always say.
I can't stand this woman. Give him a chance, No
I will. He does get a chance.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
All he has eight jobs, that's true.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
But to settle for a man with one, this makes
him eight times better than every other candidate.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
The math does work well if you.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Go purely by the message. It's inoffensive. So he wasn't
sending you like unsolicited dick pics or being like, you know,
saying something really you know over the line. It was
you know, it came from an innocent place that he's
pure of hearts. I love his job, rides the rails
(17:47):
he rides. He could get you, he could get your
free I think I just gave it away.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
How old is this person?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Oh, heavens, he's forty's north of fifty.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I was thinking right around forty fifty, forty.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Fifty four years old, fifty four, although I don't know
he's giving fifty four vibes. But what if he's like
thirty two, then it's even funnier. He's fifty four, right?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
You know.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Him before? Yeah, it's like because you know him. That
sounds exactly like my cousin, exactly like right down the penis.
It sounds exactly like my cousin his business right as
he uses the females Bernard, Well, females. If he uses
the word females, that's it done. Nope, and next bad females. Yeah,
(18:39):
it is bad. Okay, guys, I'm going right to the
next one. You have another. Oh my gosh, I love this.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
This is another Hello, how are you before I'm even nice? Back,
let me go to the profile. Stay away from me.
If you have a husband that you're married to as
opposed to that works, are you already a boyfriend, a
boy who thinks he's your boyfriend, an ex boyfriend who
(19:06):
is basically still your boyfriend, still sleeping with the father
of your children, a man who's still in love with you,
or a feelings for a boyfriend who's undercover. So while
staying single and I'm building up myself, God will be
waiting for God. This is this doesn't speak well, he says.
(19:30):
God will be waiting for God to send me someone
who God actually deserves me as their future masculine libra leader, king,
husband and lover. So if God sent you to me,
then it's meant to be forever. I don't ask me
to read that again because I heard.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
He laid his trauma out like a counterfeit watch salesman
on like just under ray in front of you of
all the damage perceived or or you know, real or none.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
They all do it. I can't go to dinner want you,
because you're gonna every line was a story?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh completely.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Do you have a boyfriend who's still thinking about you
who may not have known he was your boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Want to hear about her? He needs a copy editor
step one right off. Yeah, and then after that there's
no help.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
There's no hope for this copy editor also needs to
be a therapist and talk it out.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Sir, My goodness, what a time you're having.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Man, give yourself a hug mm hmmm, because no one's
going to love you more than yourself. No one else
is going to give you yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
You can actually smell the bitterness coming off the words.
That was incredible.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
And then yeah, don't those two things spell the same? Lacy?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think you should give this guy chance. I can't.
I think he has a lot of room to grow.
Yeah he RECOGNI Yeah, that's right. Well, I mean, maybe
it's because you have ex boyfriends you won't let go up.
I don't ever think about that.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
They're all here, Billy be in the house of the
budget bit. You can't stop me, that's true. I can't
one just one more, I'll read. I'll read a short one, okay,
(21:39):
And I still don't know what he's talking about. This
is another Hello, how are you? And I go straight
to the profile and I think he's saying this is
what he wants in a woman, But I don't know
if he's describing himself kurvy fit.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Or anything.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
On this profile it says kurvy fit, someone not bumpy.
Well pretty much hate texting, but I will looking for
a nice nurse or someone with manageable crazy and likes
to dress cute a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I'm psychic too check my bump. I'm psychic to check
my wife my bumble. Wait, he refers you to another app,
another app that is that is a whole nother app
you just told on yourself. Does he know you're going
to check his bumble?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
And you should know not to send that to me?
Because that I did not respond to this.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
We didn't. I didn't just right back and tell him
you're not into Kirby.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Dude, he's trying to push Kirvy.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
If you don't put that into a whole sentence, I'm
going to assume pleased to meet you, Curvy, You're like, okay, yes,
oh man.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
You know Lacey does like her guys curvy and fit.
But she uses a different word. The word lay uses
is huscular.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, you meet it, know what that is? That's that's good,
that's my type.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
You said curvy. Yeah, you're like, I don't like men
with the matronly hips. I'm so sorry, hie.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Come on, I dated that guy though, you gave him
a chance, dated it.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
In the past. Tense though. Yeah. Okay, guys, Lacy, no,
I think we all learned something. Give him a shot.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, just head over to both people are talking about
how bad it is out there. Don't dismiss them, don't
say you know, it can't be that bad. Help you
to listen to this, Listen to the show. Don't feel
like they're connected in a group. They're being supported. We
got to be there for each other, and we'll be
(24:12):
here for you after this break. Stay tuned for more
of the in Lacy lay show. Hey everybody, welcome back
(24:33):
to the Inbred Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show sponsored by Love.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I like to lie about our sponsors.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Oh lord, Love's not even a product, but if it was,
i'd of Botsom. It's time for a very special part
of our show. It's where we go to court. Not
just steady court, Sister Court.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Gee, for real. We are the music. We're the mirror
of the music.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So in Sister Court, we will present our judges with
a scenario. This scenario was emailed in by our listeners,
and Judge Zarin and Judge Elizabeth will deliver a verdict.
Lacy will present one side of the case and I'll
present the other side of the case. What's the case
(25:28):
this ticket? I'm gonna read the first one, Okay. The
one that you want to read is just someone saying
how much they love you and you can read better.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay, you don't.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I don't know how you paid your friend to send
in that, but that's not what we're doing right now.
Oh we'll get to that. Okay, this Sister Court. How
do I send a thank you card for a gift
that multiple people went in on. I recently got married
and there was a group of cousins who on my
husband's side, who signed their gift from cousin one spouse
(26:02):
one cousin two spouse, son to daughter two.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You get it.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
The gift would have amounted to about five dollars per adult.
Should I send a thank you card to the one
cousin with all their names on it? Or do I
send individual cards to each person on the list?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You know what I'm about to say.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No, I one person is enough. It's five dollars until
thank you, Sandy, tell everybody thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I'm sorry, Amber, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I am almost on the same side. Okay, send a
fucking email. It's twenty twenty four. Send an email, Send
a card, and then email everybody else. Don't send a card,
send it thank you emails. Send your email because once
you get done paying, what's a stamp cost? I mean,
I get I think it's mart.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I buy forever stamps you guys when the price goes Sam.
I am all about thank you cards, and because it's
it's really nice to get them, I would send one
to every single person. And let me tell you the
other alternate like ulterior motive I have is that that
is like that is such a I don't want to
(27:10):
say a flex, but it's like it's it's such a
one up, like you now you have the upper hand. Yeah,
like I'm more elegant than you. I know you all
chipped in five books, but here, thank you so much
for your generous gift. Put generous in there and and
then you know and they feel it. So now you
have the upper hand, You're better than they.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
That's why I would You're gonna go for petty but
by more.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yes, it's worth those stamps for me to do petty
but more.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
See, I would.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
I would agree with you and send the thank you notes,
but I would do it so that you don't let
them change who you are. So if you are someone
who sends thank you notes, send them. Don't let them
like drag you down. So otherwise I totally agree with you, Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Oh my judges are supposed to send a goal embossed
the flower. But there are all the things that you
say in your head though you're doing it like these
cheap like yeah, I've.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Got a lot of class, and I like that thank you,
thank you. You are not like us, Amber. Do you
want to read the next one? Yes, Okay, I'll read
the next one. My husband's best friend smells really bad.
Every time he comes over, he smells really really bad.
I don't know if he doesn't bathe or something, but
(28:25):
every time he comes over, the entire house reeks.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
After he leaves.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
My husband doesn't seem to smell it and doesn't get
how bad it is. Do I tell his friend about this?
Do I tell him that he can't come over? Or
do I just suck it up? So I really would
have ignored it had they not said the second really
really bad. I used that time to think about how
bad it must be. Or you don't want to get
(28:51):
that point across in two different ways?
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, yeah, well, like what kind of like is it
like the juice at the bottom of a garbage can
bat swampy? How do you I'd be like, he can't
come over? Well, you then reconnoiter and figure out okay,
because like sometimes I've done this where if this sort
of thing presents itself, you make it like it's something
that you've dealt with and you're telling them like you're
(29:15):
never gonna believe. Like I smelled so bad people were
fainting next to me on the bus, and you know what,
I did I washed my clothes. It was great. You
should try it. But like, if this is repeated and
he's nose blind to it and he's bringing it into
your home, just get out, tell you, tell your husband,
we're not doing this anymore. Figure out a way to
avoid him, or husband go to him. I don't want
it in my house. See I'm not that nice. This
(29:38):
is what I would do.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I would invite over your laziest friend. When stink but
is over. Lacey comes in the house and goes, Lacy
and this man have no connection. They'll never see each
other again. Lacey goes to this man, you fucking reek.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
That is genius.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I love that. Bring in the ringer, yes.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yes, oh sorry, I would never see would again that I.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Would have.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Oh, I would totally and I would do I would
do that for you. I would do that for you
in the world.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
The wife can then come in and play the savior,
being like, oh, I have the answer for you. Don't
worry about my friend. They bring up a good point,
but here's soap.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I'll introduce you to it. Or you're exaggerating it's bad,
but it's not so bad. This is what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Okay, what are you doing.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I'm going to my husband and I'm going to be like,
don't bring that fool back in his.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
House like that.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
It would only happen once, would once? This is my sanctuary.
You ain't coming in here funking it up. Tell me
And if my husband has any sinse gonna be.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
A little bit. He's not going to do it.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Oh yeah, I mean who doesn't. Who doesn't you respect
him more than your wife? Why it's not happy happy wife?
You better bring stinky in here and tell him he's
your friend.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And he can't get her like outside?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah exactly, how like ten outsides? But really he must
smell like too much perfume and bo right, yeah, we're
doing right.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It has to be heavy fun. I was like, yeah,
his washing machine does not work.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
It's not wash his sheets. This this decade, those sheets
have not been washed.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I did know someone who smelled bad, bad, bad bad
like that. He didn't come into my house, but he
was like, friend of a friend.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Did you tell him?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
No?
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Did you tell a friend?
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I was young. I didn't have the age and wisdom
and growing irritation that I have today. But I probably
would say something now.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I would want someone to tell me Yeah, I've had
that someone brings a friend and then every time we
get together that friend comes, and if we know that
that friend is coming, we go to flight events.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (31:58):
What about getting to deliver the message that's always devastating
the child?
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Like, yeah, right, that'll stick with.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Him though, that's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
No, guy, I see you don't have the balls to
do it, so they don't fucking do it.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yeah, the closest.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Person to that person has to tell them if Amber
stinks I'm gonna pull amberside and say she's not gonna
pull me instead Amber, Oh, I sure will of everyone.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
No, I would never.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Yeah, just needs to be told, needs to be told.
He can't be running around doing this.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
He does job.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
We could be responsible for him losing his job because
he's it's my god, you do a kindness. You're doing
a kindness when you tell them the.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Truth that needs to be shared.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
He's on these apps greeting women and.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
He's taking your ticket on Amtrak.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
A waiving that thing around, and he's thinking he could
have been married by now. Out of your house. But
this is all you. Every day he has, he smells
worse than the last one. That boy, right, Okay, wait,
what do you want to read the one where they're
(33:12):
praising you, Amber?
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I want to hear it, read it or read it
or read it?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Uh person really loves her? Oh the first one. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I want you both to know that you are sunshine
in a bottle and I love listening to you every week.
I love you both equally. I say this as a
preface as Lacy, you may not like what I'm what
I am writing to y'all about. You. See, I have
a conundrum that I feel Amber might be especially able
to assist me with. I'm a vegetarian and I love
to go out to eat. Because of Amber's weekly exaltations
(33:43):
of the Cheesecake Factory, I've decided to try to go again.
It has been years since I went, and I do
not think that I've eaten there since becoming a vegetarian.
I recently looked at their menu online and I was
very overwhelmed. I was hoping Amber could give me her
favorite vegetarian friendly options on the book length to Cake
Factory menu. I'm not vegan, so dairy eggs and honey
(34:03):
are good with me, Lacy.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I apologize for what I may have unleashed.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Now Well, well fucking well, why he would say all
of this?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Tell our guests.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
I seem to mention the cheesecake factory quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I'm familiar with that. I've heard you do it now.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I'm right, the cheesecake factory is the best place on
planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
So having said that, if you're vegetarian and you're going
to the cheesecake factory, I feel like there are a
lot of good things. You can get one lettuce wraps.
Lots of times they come a chicken, but she can
get them without chicken.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Okay. You can also get the green beans, which I
really really like. Also, gosh, what else I mean? Do
vegetarians eep fish? Is that? That's right? Right? They don't. No,
if they're like a pescatar.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Nothing with a face. It's kind of their rolling with a.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Face or a butt. The butt's the best part.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
But what this was about.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Fish?
Speaker 3 (35:13):
But I haven't had a good fish but roasted. Well,
I'm not a vegetarian.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
You know, you got to eat the butt. Don't isolate that.
Don't isolate that. No, But honestly, my answer is the cheesecake.
Speaker 6 (35:35):
You get the dairy and you go into the cheesecake
that's how they made their Just don't get the beef cheesecake.
You're okayish cheesecake.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh yeah, honey is not allowed for vegans to eat.
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah, I know that's a product.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
I thought there's more of an animal product, like you know,
they made it, not like it came from their bodies,
like they collected it, right, And I know they know
they honey, but it's like kind of a byproduct. Like
who wants the we do.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
But they want to make sure they eliminate everything fun, right, Yeah,
they want to have a bad time.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
That's a big a bunch of them air wraps that
Amber described with no chicken's in.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
The lettuce wrap.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
If there's no chicken, hope other vegetables and that weird sauce.
It's yemmy, okay. Now they also have extensive salads. They
have a lot of salads. Men in them salads.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Big is true, that's true. Drink yeah, I just drink
your lunch.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
There you go, straw.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
It's called a liquid lunch. White men do it all
the time down on. It's perfectly fine. Okay, guys, that's
the end of Sister Court. Is that true, Lacy? It
is it's the absolute it's a bunch of nonsense. That
was right.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I love justice.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
It was very productive. Okay, I want to do ranking, Lisa,
you no help, Let's do rank. Yes, great, that's rank.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
And I want our guests to rank their top three
podcasts that they've done with the most ridiculous crimes that
you guys have covered you.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
And I would say you already, no, no, no, go ahead.
Well one is just right off the bat. I always
like to give this as an example, is when a
teenager from the Bay Area stole Guy Fieri's bright yellow
Lamborghini and then proceeded to drive it around the Bay
Area for months just everyone would see him doing it,
and everyone Guy Fieri's friends are they calling him up saying,
(37:46):
hey man, I'm sorry for go buy.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
So, and he did it to impress a girl, and
then the girl was not impressed, and then she helped
the cops. So it's a whole great story.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Excellent.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, now months months not no, couple of months. Oh yeah,
I don't understand how you're not getting caught.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Driving real fast.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I'm guessing they don't pull people over here in the Bear.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Yeah, we're real casual about that.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I know.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Exactly. It's the home for it. Got one, Oh.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Gosh, I don't know the one that I don't know why.
It always kind of pops into my head at times
like this is Tommy Fits, this guy who was sort
of an amateur pilot and he stole a plane twice
and landed it on a street in New York twice.
What And I just like him. He's a he's a character.
(38:41):
But it was like a bar bet, like I bet,
I bet you I could land a plane on this
street and they're like, oh, no way. And he's like
out the door, goes to Jersey, steals a plane, flies it,
back lands it on the street while drunk, I assume,
all while drunk. Yeah yeah, so that's you know, we
got a.
Speaker 5 (38:57):
Lot of drunk century drunk too, like real drunk. I
like drunk nowadays, like drinking all day.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Drunk, very like flat top buzz cut.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Yeah, this wasn't his first time flying though, right, No,
watch a couple of.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Videos, y yeah, no, dude, can you think of another.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
About Frank Namara the guy This guy pretended to be
a doctor and then he performed surgery on He goes
and he joins the Navy and he's at sea in
the war and these Todays troops are brought on the
board of the ship and he then is like, you know,
just trying to get by, pretended to be like, oh,
I'm to worry. I got all the medicine for this
entire ship. And he thinks it will be fine because
(39:40):
they're not going anywhere near battle. But then the battle
comes to the ship and now he has to operate,
and he ends up saving all of these soldiers just
by reading medical texts. He's reading medical textbooks, Like he
goes back to his quarters like wait quickly, we see
where the spleen is. Then he goes back and operates
and he saves all these soldiers. I think his is
an insane one because then he ends up going on
like you bet your life. I think it was one
(40:00):
of the mid fifty TV shows and he's just telling
his story. The guy is an incredible like I don't know,
he's more than a con artist. He is just like
a like an impersonator of people in a way that
is so compelling because also the guy has a great heart.
He's not doing it to like cheat people. He's doing
it because he wants to like be accepted and be
liked and also to do something and be able to
(40:22):
use his talents. But his talents are all about like
doing impressions of other people. So he just spot on
impressions of other people. Yeah, and there's a great movie
starring Tony Curtis about it the.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Guy I'm looking it up. Do you know the name
of it? I do not remember. Yeah, Tony Curtis and
Frank Damres, the character.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
This is like catch me if you can.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
So he told this story not from jail.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
The military had to like pardon him. It was like
a whole thing because they were embarrassed because he comes
back a hero. He comes back to the Then all
of a sudden, they're like, wait, what do you mean
the hero is not really a doctor. So they're like, hush, Josh,
how do you like make this go away and keep
our hero and then make the journalist stop asking questions.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
It was like the whole thing. It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Putting me in jail left I saved twenty Yeah right now,
Amber and I joke all the time about this. We'll
see something on TV and I'm like, we could do that.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I could do it. Heart surgery. I cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Show me what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Let me see one video which is wrong because we
can't even get the Tylo water video want.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
We can't even do the dance.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
We talk ship.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
We could finish something, but do not.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Sit next to me while we watch American Ninja Warrior.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Oh yeah, I would love to do.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Convinced he would win Salmon, I would not. I'm convinced
I would not.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
It was the one show with the big balls and everything,
and you can jump at all the water hazards and
wipe out.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
One man that will get That will make you think
you can do anything. You watch that, You're like, I
can beat that. Oh my god, persons got their back
bent and half. You're like, I would do way better
on this giant red balls.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I'm not gonna ask either of you how old you
are once, but I'm I think I'm older than both
of you. I know I'm fifty. Okay, once you hit fifty,
you don't think you can do ship.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
There's a woman as a woman age, I know better.
You lost me and I have to jump.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
You see these stairs behind me?
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Amber sees me stop on the this this part right here,
I'll sit down on that there, and.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I think about my life and what are you doing.
I'm making my way up the stairs.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
That's take a while too. Just caught me on every step,
deep breathing.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Now she has a different life realization on it.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm like, I'm fifty, you guys, she says down and
she's like, maybe maybe I should have been on the ear.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Don't need that brush from upstairs.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Don't need it.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I can live without that brush.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah, Oh, I have an honorable mention. Please do bum Fardo.
We did an episode about a man whose real name
was bum Fardo. Excellent, and he was like a crooked
Florida politician. That's that's my other honorable mention.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
And a style king.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yeah. Everything he wore all red Faro. Yeah, Bumfardo. Like
I felt like I made it up. When I was researching,
it was like, this can't be happening.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Yes, it was just not real.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
If I if I had to guess who bum Fardo is,
I found a time machine and I went back in
time and I had a baby.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I found a.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Guy whose last name was Farto and I married him
because it's hilarious. Yes, we had a baby and I
named him bum and I was like, future Amber is
going to find out about this and left till she's sick.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
And that's what's.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Just that may have been maybe that was you. No
one likes this name more than me and it's not
even close. And he went missing and they sold shirts
where's Bombarda.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Because went missing? So yeah, people are still looking.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
For In a newspaper article at the time, gave me
one of my favorite lines ever. They asked this woman,
where do you think he is? And she said, you
know what, who knows who cares? I was like, all right,
that's my answer for everything. You know, one who knows
who cares?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
I'm shocked she didn't say up here, button around the corner,
never found Nope.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, no, he went on a cruise. He never came
back from correct.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I think he was a little mobbed up by Yah.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Got a pair of shoes.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
They go with everything. This has been the Amber and
Lacey Lacy Amber Show. We are freshly fallen in love.
You can hear it in our voices. We've fallen in
love with the entire ridiculous crime podcast duo Sarah Burnett
and Elizabeth dem They are as badly behaved as we
(45:17):
are and I just didn't. I didn't think we'd ever
find our truest friends. We foundated.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Well, this is love. Can I slide into the DM?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
I was just sometimes, do you like Amtrak? You're going
to love it? So, hey, everybody, you can find Amber
Ruffin at Amber Ruffin, probably on street.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
You can find lay Lacy lamar one on ship. Where
can we find you.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Guys, Ridiculous Crimes on some of the socials.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
It's at Ridiculous Crime on Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
And we have a website.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
The website is like, We've put so much money into
this thing.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
A couple of design awards, Ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Crime dot com and it's like it's one like five
webbyes and just going for the egot. We're going for
the egot. Perfect. That's it. Okay, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
I'm gonna go to your website and I expect to
be wowed.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, just walking will be.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Hey, everybody, thanks for tuning into the Ambering Lacey Lacy Nabershaw.
I love you bye bye, but not in a sexual
way like Lacey does, and she does cut it off.
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