3155: Be Well, Sis

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I listen to the Black Guy Who Tips podcast because
Rod and Karen.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hey, welcome to another episode of the Black Autils podcast.
I'm your host Rod, joined us always by my co
host Kieren, and we are live on a Sunday morning,
ready to bring you some podcast. And we've been up
early this weekend. Week We do a at eight o'clock
in the morning podcast yesterday, then ten o'clock in the

(00:26):
morning podcast yesterday, and now we're bringing you a nuts
So listen, get your coffee, That's what we were saying. Yes,
bringing you another episode early in the morning. Find us
everywhere you get podcasts. The official weapon of the show
is floating Chair and the unofficial sport what About.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
And Bulletball Extreme. We're not alone.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
We have a guest. If you're live on crowdcast, you
see we have a guest. If you're listening later, you
probably see it in the show notes. Today's guest is
a doctor, professor, a wellness educator passionate about helping women,
especially Black women, proclaim their health and wholeness. Welcome the
host of the award winning podcast Be Well Sis, Cassandra Dunbar.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
How you doing good?

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Hello? Hello, I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, happy to meet you.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
How did first of all, like, how did you like
make this path of deciding to be like, first of
all multi hyphen it.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I'm all through, you know, we'd be doing it all.
I'd be telling people.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
I was like, if anything happened in another black woman
and it is getting a degree, a certificate or something somewhere, like,
you'd be like, what are you doing, Sis, I'm getting
more educated? Why? Because I don't know what I don't
know what Trump is doing and I want to be
strik get all the job. Well, you crack my own
if he takes all the avenues away?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Okay, So how how'd you get on that path from? Like?

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Was it like something you've thought of as a kid?
Was it a passion? Was it something you know you
just walked into later in life?

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Alma?

Speaker 5 (01:50):
So I will tell you how I went into medicine.
So when I was in high school, the only thing
that I really enjoyed was the sciences. I had to
do well because that was my mama's rule, like you
don't bring no bees and ceas home. So I did
good in school, but the only thing I really liked
and wanted to pursue in college was science. So then
when I went to biology, I was like, hmm, I

(02:12):
like people. I don't want to be in the lab,
so then let me just try my hands at you know, medicine.
And at the time, my auntie, she was battling breast
cancer and I was her chemo buddy, so I was like,
you know what, she had a really young just really
like he really cared about her progress. So I'm like,
you know what, I want to go into medicine. So
that is how I ended up there. In terms of education,

(02:35):
I've always been a teacher. If I know something, you
got to know it too, like I'm not going to
hold this information. So that is how I got transferred,
not transfer, but like kind of transition into medic into
education and then podcasting. Honestly, my therapist was just like, girl,
what do you do for you? And I'm just like,
what do you mean for me? She's just like, do
something for yourself? And she's like, you know, years ago

(02:57):
you had mentioned starting a podcast.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Why you do that for self care? She don't podcast,
so she said no, that it's.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
A lot of work.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
And I didn't know either, So I'm like, okay, I
can get a MIC. I got a laptop, I'll get
a mic, and yeah, here we are five years later.
This's like my whole like third jobs, my my third baby.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
So yeah, that is how I got here. What is more?
I notice my son city. But what do you think
is more challenging.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
And more difficult going like that doctor route or doing podcasting?
Because podcast requires more technical and it it requires almost
like a different part of your brain, you know, And
I don't think people really understand the requirements are kind
of different than not turning fund a normal nine to
five standard job.

Speaker 5 (03:37):
Truly, Yep, you said it. I feel like I am.
I've always been like BookSmart, Like if you give me
a book, I will study and I will learn it.
Podcasting it's always changing. I don't have the technical like
know how I had to learn it. I'm not somebody
who comes from like the radio space or from television
from media, so I had to learn all the things right.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
And it's always changing.

Speaker 5 (04:01):
So it's not like the human body where we know
ninety nine point nine percent about it right. The medium
is always changing, the landscape is changing. So I find
this to be the most difficult because once I feel like,
oh I got it, it changes up.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
So It's funny too that your therapist came up with
the idea, Like was it just like girl, you being
here talking.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
You know this is good. You know this, this is good.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Stuff, good avenue for you just need to be recorded.
I don't need to be the only audience.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
No, what happened was so this was six years ago.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
Six years ago, I had my oldest, not my oldest,
but my youngest baby, and it was a traumatic birth
and so he was in the nick you for a minute,
and then when we finally brought him home, I was
on eggshells. I was so scared that he would have
a seizure or just something would go wrong. So even
when I was supposed to be resting, I was literally
staring at the baby or and then I had my

(04:58):
oldest who was at the time, so I was trying
to like, you know, navigate being a parent to a
teler and a newborn of what the time I special needs.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
So when I was going to therapy and I was.

Speaker 5 (05:08):
Telling her all the things, and she's just like, Okay,
so you have two kids, you're a wife, you have
a mother who lives with you, and you're you know,
starting to care for her too.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
So where are you in your equation like of the day, you.

Speaker 5 (05:21):
Know, And I'm just like like, I just do I
do my thing and I go to bed hopefully, and
she's just like, you gotta find something to do for yourself.
And she's like, you know, I had talked to her
about possibly doing a podcast because I just started listening
to podcasts at that time and I was looking for
wellness related stuff for black women. At the time, it
was very few and far between. So she's like, how

(05:42):
about you start a podcast, you know, just spend an
hour a day just researching what it takes to put
one together and then maybe start interviewing women and that
way that would be kind of your self care. So
I found my first couple of guests and I spent
time talking to them and I was like, yeah, this
feels good. And then I had to figure out how
to okay, now I recorded something now and how do

(06:06):
people hear it right? And that became kind of like
my saving grace in a way too, because I did
get a chance to step away and not be mom,
not be doctor, not be wife, to speak Asandra. So
that's how I ended up podcasts. And now, are you
still like being a doctor?

Speaker 2 (06:21):
To like, are you so, like, is it No, I
don't practice, Okay, so no, is the podcast like your
full time thing or nope?

Speaker 5 (06:30):
My my full time job is I'm a professor. Ok Yeah,
I teach pre nursing and nursing students, anatomy and physiology
and sometimes pass with physiology as well. But that's my
my nine to five. I would love for podcasting to
be my bread and butter, but not yet.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, it's being a professor, like any like, does it
have any overlap but with like podcasting, because I mean
I'm imagining you have to speak to classes and stuff
like that as well, So is there anything that crosses
over there?

Speaker 5 (07:03):
In a way, I feel like being a podcaster has
helped me to become a better professor in a way
because I really want my students to be engaged. So
the way that I've learned to be engaging for an audience,
I bring that into my classroom too. So because I know,
naming physiology could be really heavy and like, girl, what
are you talking about? So now I like bring some

(07:24):
personality into it. And I think that's the way that
I've had to cultivate being a podcaster. Yeah, that's how
I think it kind of crosses over a bit, but
we don't talk about the same things. It's very technical.
In my classroom and on the podcast, I might teach
a little bit, but I keep it really light because
that's not what people signed up for.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
That's true. What is it that made you decide I
need therapy? Because I know for a lot of people,
that's a very tough decision to make, specifically if you
were not bought up and raised into therapy. I know
a lot of religions, you know, like that they like
Jesus can work it out, prayer it away, But why
can't Jesus take the hand or the therapist and take

(08:05):
my hand and we all worked this a three way thing,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
So what made you make that decision?

Speaker 5 (08:11):
I was really going through it because let me go back,
so while I was in medical school, they had a
therapist like on staff for us to have free therapy.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
It was part of our tuition.

Speaker 5 (08:22):
And I was like nervous, like no, because to your point,
I grew up in the church, and like no, you
take it to Jesus, right, So but I was really
going through it because my auntie, who I was her
Cuman buddy.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
She had passed away and I was just grieving.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
Plus I was like the rigor of medical school was
like more than I had bargained for. So I finally
went and saw the therapist. It wasn't a good fit,
so we didn't. We didn't last. But fast forward years later,
after I had my second son and was experiencing all
of that. The reason why I went back I missed

(08:55):
a staff holds on. I went to therapy before I
even got praying with my second son because we had
lost my mother in law, yes, and so I was
trying to figure out how can I help my husband grieve,
And that's why I went to therapy. My therapist was
just like, Okay, that's great, but she's like, there's some
stuff going on with you too, So I stayed in
therapy from there. And to your point about you know,

(09:18):
the church and things like that, I always felt the
same way as you feel, like my mom was so
against the idea of me going to therapy. But I'm
just like if I broke my leg, or if you
broke your leg, we would go hello, hello, you know.
So there are people who have special gifts and talents
and education to help us with the unseen wounds, why not.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Give it a try?

Speaker 4 (09:42):
So and I fess where and maybe it's just me.
And when I talk to people, I go, this is
their job. Their whole job is studying emotions and the
brains and the way we interact. Like there is, this
is their job. And the thing is, if you're having problems,
like you say, if my pie it's broke, I go
to the plumber, you know, like like I go to

(10:02):
the professionals, and this is their job. And the thing is,
I think when it comes to therapy, people hear the
words and people dipping it out of therapy, they don't
actually stick with it like they should. And I think
with therapy it causes people to do a lot of
inside searching and people are very frightened to that. So
it makes them panic and quit.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Yep, yeah, I think it uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yes, yes, I think also like there's it's intimidating when
you first start that journey, because you know, it's like, uh,
it's a thing people throw at each other, like therapy, therapy,
you know, even even sometimes it's an insult like you
need therapy, right, yeah, and as and not necessarily about
wellness all the time to people, but also like you

(10:44):
gotta go to your insurance, you gotta find out, you know,
who's in your area, who got coverage, who's out availability.
As you said, sometimes you don't match right away. You
gotta find you might have to do a little more research,
find two three therapists before you find the one that
that far.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
For you. I think.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
So, I think that's a lot of it as well too.
And I also think we're having so much like mental
health crises and mental health like spikes in our just
in the last twenty years or so. So there's also
a lot of normalization of it, you know, Like I like,

(11:24):
sometimes you'll see people where for example, if you say, uh, man,
my boss told me blank, and you go to Twitter
to tell that, right, Twitter don't know you.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Twitter don't know your boss. Twitter don't know your job.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
But a lot of times it's just like whatever you say, yeah,
as opposed to like sometimes you know, therapist may sit
down and be like, actually, let's go through these exercises
so that this is how you navigate this situation in
a more healthy manner, as opposed you know, like we
see this with medical stuff all the time. My favorite
episode of I May destroy you. Was one where she

(12:01):
went to a doctor with her friend the main character
and her and uh, the doctor. She's a black woman,
the doctor's Indian man, and he's like, okay, so you're
having anxiety and your blood pressure spiking and this, like
have you thought about maybe backing off of the internet.

(12:21):
She was like a heavily internet person for social media.
She's like an influencer. And he's like, you know, because
Afro Caribbean people have like a higher propensity to have
high blood pressure, you can have adverse effecting your long
term health. And her friend in the in this you
know in the show is like, if this doctor you
need to get a new doctor.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
He don't know what he's talking about.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
This is racist that he is bringing this up and
and it and obviously it's a fictionalized story, but it
did remind me of the Internet sometimes where it can
be like whatever soothes you in this moment is more
important than like a long term thing.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
If I was your your your.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Family, if I was your doctor, I may have different
advice for you, or you know, I may have to
tell you some tough love stuff that you don't want
to hear. So I guess what I'm saying is do
you see or feel that effect? You know, whether in
the podcast or just life of this kind of like
almost I don't know, it's almost like a we're normalizing

(13:21):
unhealthy stuff, yes, and lionizing it when you know, therapy
is hard because you're it is constant work, and you're
not going to come out of that with consistently consistent
and you know how it's going to feel good immediately
and you may have to work towards something to feel good.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
And also I think that for some people when it
comes to therapy that think it's the end process. You know,
you know how normally everything else you get to the
end and then everything just stops. But they fail to
realize you live a life, and life continues until you
take your last breath. So you're going to continue to
have your ups and downs in you all around because
you're living. And I think that's a very difficult thing

(13:58):
for people to process that, Hey, this is an ongoing thing.
I might fail, but I'm going to keep trying and
going to keep pushing and going to keep improving type
of process. And because it doesn't have an end, I
think sometimes I might frighten people.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
Yeah, and Honestly, I feel like I was one of
those people that was frightened too because I was in it.
Like let's say this year two, because I've been in
therapy on and off for it for years now.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
By year two, I'm just.

Speaker 5 (14:23):
Like, Okay, I am tired of like unearthing these wounds,
things that I've spent years suppressing.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
I don't want to.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
Talk about it, like I put it down there for
a reason because it's painful and having some process to
your point, right, you know, even my part in some
things that hurt me, you know, like I'm like, I
can't do this, so I will say this. I have
taken breaks, and I've also changed the type of therapy
that I've had too, cause I think of it as

(14:51):
like the gym, like we have to or just exercising
our bodies because we're on this planet. We have to
constantly be putting in the work to make sure that
our bodies are funnctioning, right. So sometimes kickboxing might be
what I do for like six months, and I get
over it, and I might do yoga. Then I get
over that, then I might just do walking, you know
what I mean, just just to keep things. I'm still

(15:12):
working but I'm working differently. I think it's still going
to bring good results. And in terms of the internet
and stuff, yeah, I love it and I hate it
because we like echo chambers, we like yes men, you know,
and we don't account doesn't feel good, you know. So

(15:33):
and that therapist, if you find a good one that
really is invested in what they do and invested in
your success, they're gonna hold that mirror up.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
And sometimes it's not it's not pretty.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
Yeah, So so it's easier to hop online and be
like and let me tell you what happened, and then
people people like yes, and you were right?

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Cis you know right?

Speaker 2 (15:51):
So yeah, it's tough because like your podcast is named
be well Sis, which you know, it kind of is
a certain level of affirmation in the title, you know, like,
and I think, but wellness is different for different people.
Wellness is you know, like it's like it's so it's
just interesting because I think what some people see is

(16:14):
like positivity and it's just constant enduring affirmation like no
matter what you're doing, and it's.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
And it's and it's been. It's different.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Like for me, one of the things when I when
I was going to therapy, Uh, one of the big
things for me was like my self confidence and self
worth and stuff. And just so like those I went thinking, oh,
I'm gonna go in here. It's about my anxiety or
it's about this. But like you know, within a few
meetings it was like I was working on stuff like

(16:47):
you know, body image and you know, stuff like stuff
that I didn't think walking in. But I think with
us having a prevalence of like mental health jargon and
in so many different avenues, people almost diagnose themselves and
then you know, and then you walk around with your

(17:07):
self diagnosis and saying, this is what's happening, and this
is why everyone's wrong, and I'm the protagonist in everyone's
story or whatever, as opposed to just getting in there
maybe having to hear some tough things or maybe you know,
it's not not even necessarily tough, but just hearing some
stuff that you weren't expecting. So like, do you see
that in just like the social media spere of like

(17:29):
what support looks like in the social media spear versus
what support.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Looks like in you know, in life.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
You know, m H for sure, there's a huge difference
in life.

Speaker 5 (17:43):
So support and real love looks like being honest, like
having all of the story and being honest. So like
my best friend she I know she loves me down,
I love her down.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
But then she she'll be like girl, like.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
Hey be for real, Like this is a little one
you in this situation, and I know she loves me.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (18:05):
Online, if there's any a little bit of accountability, it's say, well,
y'alla hated and yadadda YadA. I hate to bring this up.
I'm gonna bring it out. Last week with the Tabitha
Brown situation, I feel you guys know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
So I think she.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Was she did a what does she do like Instagram
Live or something. I forget what they call him, but
she did a thing where she talked about entrepreneurship, and
she was like, hey, so this is entrepreneurship. Isn't necessarily
this straight line. It's not necessarily going to work out
for everybody. You know, where it's your full time gig.
You may have to go back, you may have to

(18:46):
take that job that that that people are telling you.
You know, you're you're not failing, You're the job is
going to help support you through this dream to get
to your entrepreneur's goal or whatever. That's what it felt
like she was saying to me. I watched the Internet
melt over. I thought it was a little over overdone.

Speaker 5 (19:03):
I think like this the words one spot on for me.
It was the tone it was for me. It was
very nice, nasty like the words were completely fine. Yes,
I understaid the message, but coming at a time where
we're seeing articles and statistics come out that I think
three hundred thousand black women lost their jobs in the

(19:24):
past several months, like in the black community is yet
it's a ridiculous amount. It seems like this administration is
retaliating against us for you know, so people, a lot
of people I've been seeing are turning to entrepreneurship not

(19:44):
because they necessarily want to, because they have to, you know.
So I feel like the timing was a little bit off.
And again I felt like it was the tone. It's
not what she said, it was how she said it.
So I disagree with the people who were really going
in and being disrespectful and how they were expressing themselves
about the situation. But I think, as somebody with such

(20:07):
a large platform, if I'm getting a lot of backlash
for what I think is benign. Maybe I should like
examine how I said it.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
You know, I think it's the words. The words are right.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
I think it's tough because, like I'm reading this book
it's called Digital Madness, and it's about social media and
how it's affecting our mental health. And one of the
things that I think, I can't stop seeing this pattern,
and which is why I started reading the book, because
I can't stop seeing this pattern for years now. They

(20:39):
the algorithms and the companies, it's much easier for them
to make us mad than it is for any other emotion. Yes,
so they present certain things in a way that generates anger, and.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Also it it.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Incentivizes us, me and you caring to also incentivize anger,
like right, like we like, if I want to get
a lot of retweets and clicks, it's easier for me
to be like, I'm mad about this than it is
to be like, here's a funny thing that happened, because
it just won't generate as much. Unfortunately, you know, and
they and we and we know for a fact that

(21:16):
they've done this. Facebook got caught basically literally trying to
make people depressed and anger and seeing how much it
affected their you know, uh interaction and staying online and scrolling.
So anyway, I say all that to say, when I
saw her comments, I understood in the context she was

(21:37):
trying to say, which is like, because she wasn't saying
if you're looking.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
For a job or or go get a job if
you don't.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
She was saying, if you're an entrepreneur and you're struggling,
you're not failing if you got to go back to
the to the to the job market, which is you know,
as an entrepreneur who has struggle. It is a message
that some people will need to hear. The problem is
when you're that big and in an environment where everyone
is like, you know, like we're burning down this person today,

(22:07):
it's there's no way to reach everyone in a way
that will obviously help everyone. Someone's gonna hear that message
and be affirmed. Someone else is gonna hear that same
message and be like attack. I don't necessarily think those
two things are correlated, meaning three hundred thousand women being
black women being fired by this administration versus Tabitha being like.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Y'all go get a job.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
I don't think those are correlated, but I think timing wise,
and on our internet environment, we will correlate them even
if it's not so like if she was given that
same speech on a panel somewhere, we'd be like, oh,
it's an entrepreneur panel and she's just talking to entrepreneurs,
which kind of sounded like that's what she was doing.

(22:51):
But on the Internet, everything goes out to everybody. There's
no Parson, So me person that just lost my job,
I'm like, f Brown, I don't appreciate it. And of
course this is the other pitfall of just all this
stuff in a place. She comes from a place where
her job is kind of giving advice affirmation. It's that's

(23:14):
what she came on the scene. As I still remember
everybody loving her because like the first time they saw
on TikTok and.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
It was like, hey my baby, it's gonna be okay.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I know it's And now like it's been years, she
like she's out of this is gonna be okay. It's
like we're she got to come up with new content.
She's a content creator now. So now it is this
is how this job thing works, this is how relationships work,
and yeah, you're gonna piss people off giving advice in general,
just because everybody. Advice ain't for everyone. But I mostly

(23:44):
was moved at or disturbed. I guess by how angry
certain factions got at her, because I feel like that's
the currency of our social media for the most part.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
It won't be her.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Tomorrow, but it'll be somebody. Somebody gonna piss somebody off themorrow,
and we're gonna spend all day online being like young thug.
Let me tell you why he gotta go down. It's like,
I don't know nothing about young Thug.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
I don't really care. Can I move on from this?

Speaker 4 (24:11):
Right? My rule for social media is twenty four to
forty eight hours. Will you care within twenty four to
forty eight hours? If you don't, it is not that
important for a lot of anger. Like this is my
own personal rule because I've been on the internet and
I watched things low enough, and I watched things flow,
and what I realized the internet has to always have

(24:32):
something to consume. If she would have said this at
a time where something else broke, nobody would Nobody would
have cared about anything she had to say, But there
was nothing else going on at the time. Not trying
to find this timing when she did the video, So
everybody looking around angry, mad beater her, trying to figure out,
don't know what's going on in their world, so they're

(24:52):
looking for something to burn down, and she just happened
to be the victim.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
And her audience is black women for the most part.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
So you got people that are going like that have
been laid off, You got people that have been affected
that I mentally are struggling through like all this like
targeting that is happening specifically to them.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Especially in the government.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Like it's more of a to me, it's more of
a like I can see how this would go wrong thing. Yes,
Like if she showed me the video first and was like,
I'm about to post this, I'd be like, maybe not today,
you know what I'm saying I see saying be more
like like yes, obviously, like because two things are happening,
Like I agree with you, Cassandra, and that this is

(25:33):
very predictable that people would be mad. This is very like, yes,
this is not a like, this is not a one
dag like that. Like I immediately saw the videos, like
I see how people got there, but also at the
same time, uh, I feel like that.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Message isn't wrong.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
It's just if she would have put the message out
six months ago, maybe you don't get as much.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Of a pushback.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
People would have still been.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
But six months in the future, maybe people don't give
as much pushback. So I think, yeah, but I think
the most important thing. Yeah, but I think the most
consistent thing on all this is that there is a
culture of anger, and that whether she says that or not,
that anger will be there tomorrow and the next day

(26:21):
and the next day, and we're just getting angrier and
angrier and looking for more fuel, which I think, you know,
can be scary as a content creator sometimes, you know,
I'm not that scared at this point, but at this
but it just in general, like being a podcaster, being
a person that gives your public opinion, that has guessed
on and you're talking about things, do you ever think

(26:42):
about like the pushback, the timing, because you know, I
could also see you know, once again, I'm not assuming
tap of the ma anything negative. I'm right, just like
she she may not have seen this coming because she
don't really be on the internet with us commenting all
the time, So maybe.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
She might have a separate life, and that'ssary.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
She might have posted that when about her day popped
up and was like, oh, you know, everything is on fire,
but so like, do you ever.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Worry about that putting out your own content? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
I always I my like on social media.

Speaker 5 (27:16):
I don't have like a huge following, but because I
care deeply about the people that I'm serving, and well,
I understand people what they're going through, you know what
I mean. I may not be experiencing the same exact
thing right now, but either A I've been there or
B I'm just I'm doing a lot of social.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Listening to see what are the gripes and things.

Speaker 5 (27:35):
And if I talk about this in this way, am
I pouring salt on an open wound?

Speaker 3 (27:40):
Like that's really important?

Speaker 5 (27:42):
Especially when I talk about I talk about wellness, right,
And I really wanted to be a positive not like
toxically positive, but I want you to leave my podcast
feeling a little bit better about your day, or about
yourself or about your situation. So I ask myself several times,
like is this content going to serve any of those purposes?
And if not, I don't need to post that. I
need to talk about it, you know. So maybe I

(28:05):
think I'm also an overthinker. Maybe I think too much
about that. But do you Yeah, that's what I'm at
right now.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
Do you feel like maybe it's just me? Do you
feel like sometimes that could be very restrictive because one
thing about being creative, A part of being creative is
just going wherever you go, wherever you go, like there's
no rules, there's no roles. You're just like I'm stretching
out there, and sometimes the audience don't know what they
want until they hear it. Like sometimes the audience thinks

(28:33):
they know what they want, but sometimes they get something
and they'll be like, I didn't know I need this,
So I didn't know I wanted this. So a lot
of times, maybe just me, when people put restrictions on
should I say this? Should I say that? Sometimes that's
hard because you want you don't want to make people mad,
but you also want to be true to yourself.

Speaker 5 (28:48):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, I agree with you one
thousand percent.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
I do.

Speaker 5 (28:52):
And I also feel that I think me as a
person just outside of you know, creating content. That's how
I like, let's just say me and you got into
a disagreement, I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Be quiet for so long.

Speaker 5 (29:05):
Processing like trying to see from your perspective how I
could have messed up or whatever before I say anything,
because what else I say it is already out there,
you know. So I think just as a person, I
take a lot of care with what I say. So, yes,
it can be restrictive, but I'm ninety nine point nine
percent of the time I'm happy that I didn't say

(29:26):
or I didn't act on what I was feeling like
in that moment, you know. But yeah, but it is.
It is kind of restrictive, But that's me as a person.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
With me, I'm also a huge overthinker, and I can
get suffered from like paralysis of analysis where it's like
I'm thinking. Like for me, the last couple of years,
I started, I got a physical trainer, start going to
the gym and doing all like learning how to lift
weights and stuff, stuff I hadn't done since high school.
And but one of the reasons I hadn't done it

(29:57):
since high school is because I was literally over and
everything I was overthinking. It was definitely anxiety talking. I
would be like, I'm gonna go in there, I'm not
gonna know how.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
To do the gym stuff. They're gonna look at me.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
You know, I'm thinking about like stuff you see on
social media and like yeah, right, means of people that
are like doing lifting the weights wrong and people are like,
look at.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
This guy, He's doing the machine backwards, and I'm like,
I look like he was doing it right to me.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
I don't know, but like I went, you know, much
like we talk about getting a therapist, you're going to
a doctor. I got a trainer, you know, I got nutritionist,
So like I had some people that had expertise and
a lot of stuff that they were teaching me was
giving me like confidence and uh and literal knowledge and
know how. Now, like I'll never walk in the gym

(30:42):
again and not know how to do something, you know
what I mean, Like like I might not know I
do everything, but I'll never have to be like, man,
I can't go in that gym.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
I don't even know where to start.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
And I think that's like a big part of like, uh,
the journey is getting people along the way that can
help because we we we substituted a lot of social
media for real life interactions with people. And it's not
that social media can't be positive. I mean, I've had

(31:12):
so many positive interactions with people's social media, but there
is a difference between like you said, your friend who's like, now, Cassandra,
don't yeah, don't put that don't put that video out
telling people go get a job, because this ain't the time,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Like maybe Tam could have used that, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, So, like, uh, I feel like that's something that
we're missing, is that level of connection in real life
that like can kind of hedge off a lot of
this stuff at the past.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yep, yep. I agree.

Speaker 5 (31:41):
The internet, like you said, is a great place, but
nothing really beats in person community.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
You know, it's so important.

Speaker 5 (31:51):
I feel like, also, we don't know how to have
healthy conflict too, like because people could have come online
and said, you know, I don't agree with but with
how tap said whatever in a respectful manner, and people
just got ugly. That's the hardest part.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
That's that one quick thing in fact you care.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
That's one of the hardest things for people to understand
when we're mad at somebody is that that person is
still a person.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
And so what makes it through the wall of like.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Tabitha Brown's mind is probably gonna be the more disrespectful,
heated comments because she's human too, She's like nine hundred
people could be like this, ain't it? And then one
person is like calling her slurs and names that one
person because because if you've been on any long enough,
been on both sides of that for some reason, that's
the people that get you. And then that becomes everybody

(32:44):
like your brain is like everyone's attacking me.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
They all want to destroy me.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
So it's once again, the medium of social media doesn't
really foster healthy conversations as much as we as much
as it was pitched as like fifteen years ago they
was lying to it. They were like, everyone's gonna be friends,
and you can meet someone from aross the world and
it's gonna be And now we're just like you log
on and you feel like Troy with the piece of

(33:10):
box on community and everything's on fire and you're like, oh,
I'm just gonna back out. So I think that's a
part that is forgotten a lot of times, is that
like while me, you and Karen, if we were talking
to tab, we'd be extremely respectful and be like, hey,
it's a little bad time in there, right if you
happen this, Sometimes somebody the ones that gonna hit her

(33:31):
gonna be the ones that are probably the most like
and with the most animosity. So it's already gonna create
a disconnect where we're not having a conversation between reasonable people,
We're gonna have extreme conversation.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Now, she's a.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Veteran of the Internet, more than likely she's smart enough
not to hop on in the throes of like defensiveness,
which is what a lot of amateur Internet people do,
like you know, and I say that as a person
that's done that, like that first time, when you get
that hot flash, you're like, ooh, you ain't gonna talk
and you be out there saying stuff that's making it
way worse. She probably won't escalate the situations because she's

(34:06):
been in the eye of the storm a few times
at this point.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
But that's how it happens, where it spirals in the
worst and worst results. Karen, I'm sorry, Guhuad.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
And also, I think my thing is to kind of
piggyback on what you're doing, because everybody is a human being,
unless it's a robot. Everybody's projecting. The people that are
attacking are projecting wounds that how would she know that
this is your wound. How would she know you.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Lost your job?

Speaker 4 (34:28):
Like, how would she know that you're being impacted by
this because she doesn't personally know.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
You, you know.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
And also she's projecting, you know, like she's seeing things
and she's saying things based off of interactions that she
may have had. And so when you have two people projecting,
that's when like fright to say you need to get
to the nuance and actually have a realistic conversation. But
this platform is not designed for that. It's Oh, I

(34:55):
don't one hundred percent agree with you, So because I
don't want hundred percent agree with you, I must attack you,
and I must attack you like it is a personal attack.
It's one of these things where I had to realize
on the Internet, there's nothing more being angry, but the
situation has got to equal out the offense. And the

(35:15):
reason why I said is because if something happened and
something is a two, it need to be treated like
a two. If something is a one, my response shouldn't
be a tend like like like like, And I think
the problem we put have that balance and and and
so for me on the internet, a lot of times
I'm not on the internet as much as I used
to be because for me, maybe because I'm old, i'man like,

(35:36):
bitch you and say that to my motherfucking face, What
the fuck are we doing here? That's the truth, right like,
And so I would instantly get mad and cuss you
out because I was like, if I could put hands
on you, you went and talking to me crazy, what
are we doing here? I said, Oh, Karen, this ain't
the place for you. Get your ass off of here
and gone outside and play a video game or work
out or some shit.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
I think also like, uh yeah, that that escalation because
it flattens our It flattens our communication, meaning it's zero
or ten. As you said, there's very few like in betweens,
and so like we've kind of lost in the language
of the internet.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
We've lost the I row yes, just simple.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Just yeah, just the like like like that was annoying,
not the end of the world.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Not gonna bring it up every time I see.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
But it's not gonna stop the world, right yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Like I've had I've really fought hard to return back
to just my like okay and just move on, like
to have that because I don't, you know, like I
don't want to constantly be angry and all that stuff.
And then the other thing too, is when you're creating
content all the time, you're gonna have some off days.
It just is like you're gonna have a couple, You're

(36:49):
gonna have some days. One of the reasons on this
show we don't do relationship advice. Everybody's like, y'all should
do a relationship advice. You've been married since y'all were kids.
Y'all known each other since y'all was you know, sixteen, y'all,
Oh you just you know, we just celebrated our twenty
third wedding. Adversary, give some advice, Give some advice, and
I'll be like, no, I don't.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Know you, and I only know how to little Roderick.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
But most importantly, people take shit so personal. I don't like,
I truly do not care, and it don't.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Mean to be a meet.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
I'm not trying to be me, but that's y'all relationship.
I want y'all to be happy, But like, I can't
possibly know everything. You right in with advice, Hey what
about this? You left something out? You didn't you know
the other person They gonna read the same email you
sent me and be like, uh uh that ain't what happened, Like,
I don't know. I can only tell you a scenario.
In this scenario, I'm really projecting. And I realized years

(37:43):
ago that almost all advice on the internet, especially, it's
just advice we give ourselves. Right, Yes, what Tabitha Brown
was really doing is talking to a young Tabitha Brown
that was like, I'm about to give up on this entrepreneurship.
Matter of fact, I always make this joke, but it's
true in my opinion. One of those tweets that start
with I don't know who need to hear this, it's you.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
It's just affirmation.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
You're affirming yourself. I don't know who need to hear this,
but don't give up today. You still gonna make it.
I'm like, you needed to hear that from yourself, and
that's nothing wrong with that. You Now you did it
right on the internet and you involved the rest of us.
But still that's that's it's really it's anyway. That's how
I try to look at it so that I'm not
like constantly absorbing peoples shit.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Is like, yeah, why are you telling me what to do?

Speaker 2 (38:30):
I'm like, you're probably really telling yourself what to do,
and you and you acted like you're telling me, but
that's part of you know, that's part of what's happening there.
How do you go about getting guests for your topics
and coming up with topics? Because I noticed there's like
a different topic every episode, different guests every episode, Like,
is that something you're coordinating yourself? Are you just coming
up with these ideas on your own? Are you out

(38:52):
looking for people?

Speaker 5 (38:54):
I hate to say it, but I'm on the internet
a lot, like I'm scroll them. So if I find
somebody who's talking about something that is interesting or i mean,
at this point it's five years and I'm starting to
like feel like, Okay, I don't talked about all the
wellness things, but if you have like a different perspective
or a different whatever, I'm in your your inbox. I'm
finding an email like and inviting you onto the show.

(39:17):
And also, I've been talking to a lot of authors,
so I have relationships with publishing companies. So if somebody
has a book coming up, they'll reach out to me.
If the book is aligned with my audience and what
we talk about. Yeah, I love to because I'm a
reader to begin with. Then yeah, I feel like authors
also have a lot to say about whatever they're talking about.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
So it's that's where I've been. Yeah, but I live
on the internet.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
How do you how do you feelter that? Because with
the internet it is an eenie meeni miney mode. You
don't know what you're going just because somebody's sound like
they got some comments. Don't want to don't mean not
gonna have common sense when you press play a deep.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
A deep dive.

Speaker 5 (39:56):
I feel like I'm so nosy, Like if I become
in interested in you, I'm gonna find out about you.
I will if you be on the internet for seven years,
I'm gonna get down to year one revolution and all
of those things. Yeah, And then there's some situations too
where if we have somebody in comment, I might just
ask the person that we have in common, like, oh,

(40:19):
what they are? How are they in terms of like
being on like being like the center of attention and.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
A podcast and things like that. So do a little
bit of betting.

Speaker 5 (40:27):
And there's also times where what I thought I was
gonna get I didn't get, but say the game.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's part of the process. Yeah, because like
you said, just the you know, the internet has changed
over the years and so many people are about brands
now versus being kind of sincere about who they are.
So that's why I asked you that question, because we've
had guests over the years that we would not have
on now because, like you say, you realize like time
will tell like if people are unstable, like you know

(40:55):
when things like that, or if they talk a good
game but they're not really trying to present that reality
in life.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
I think Another thing for me is like I remember
when I first learned about like narcissism and like the
definition of it, the traits and all that stuff for
mental health stuff, and I was like, man, everything in
the like these are things that narcissists do is also
things that make people really good at the Internet. It

(41:23):
doesn't mean everyone who's really good at the Internet as
a narcissist, but you know, like the idea of like shunning,
the idea of blocking people, the idea of getting like
your flying monkeys to attack people, and so like, once
I thought about that, I was like, man, maybe you
know because we used to just have people on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
We'd be like, oh, this person got a million followers
to get them.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
On shows, And it's like I don't think that person
is a good person.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
I think we should not have had them on the shelf.
They're just really good at the Internet.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
But they might be really good at the Internet because
they're already kind of like prone to Internet behavior that
would later become like more pronown.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yes, and as you brought up, like going back.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
To year one on people, it is wild because you
can watch people evolve into completely different people.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
You started out on.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
This, and then you became this and then and I
think now is especially in light of our current administration
and the people in charge of the country. You're singing
like people go back and forth into different brands. Like
it was cool as hell to be an activist like
five years ago, like five eight years ago.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Everybody was active. Put it in the bio. I'm an
active du I'm out here, I'm activating nothing.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:39):
Yeah, five years ago you was getting a bag for
being an.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
Activist, a big bag.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
Maybe.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Yes, it was an activist economy.

Speaker 4 (42:47):
You were getting put on all the TV shows, all
the radio shows. You was a guess spot, oh somebody something.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
But now that that economy is kind of dried up, right,
they don't want to be They don't want people on
the rate on the news. They don't want to give
you your radio show. You didn't want you to write
the book.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
No Obama left, and I tell I was we was
talking about they when Obama left. I said, when Obama left,
they're gonna be like, why we need all these black people.
We ain't got no black president.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Well that's you had. You had some of that, but
also like you.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
Had after George Floyd, you had another resurgence of that's true.
A lot of people getting jobs and bags and stuff
off of it. And once again, I'm not knocking people
forgetting those bags.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
I just can't.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
I always have to reemphasize this point every single time
this comes up.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
We weren't asking for jobs.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Dude, you want you to stop killing us and treat us.

Speaker 4 (43:35):
Right.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, So like right, like companies being like we heard you,
here's stipend for people going to college. It's like, not
necessarily the same thing will take it, but yeah, it's
drying up now, right, Like even speaking of tabath around Target,
like watching Target essentially be like.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
We're turning the facet off for blackness and paying the
cost for it.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
Paying.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yeah, but seeing that happen, I think it does it
changes people's brands, And I think you're so smart to
research the people because I feel like you can see
that in a lot of people's arc of like this
was in at this point, so I was over here
and this was in and I was over here. And
it helps, I think also to have like good questions
to ask people. It helps, you know, to be able

(44:22):
to like see where the expertise lies. But yeah, sometimes
the best thing it helps with is to know not
to have a guest on the show, to be like.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Not you yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (44:32):
And there's been episodes that just have never seen light
of day because the conversation was just not helpful to
the audience or it just yeah. So I'm just like, well,
we'll just shelf that.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
That's tough.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
That's tough when you record an episode and you'd be like,
I can't put this out.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
Yeah, how do you How do you deal with people
who come in with like bad quality sound and things
like that, because sometimes these people are professionals, so they
might not have them stay and I have all the
setups and things like that, because I think one time
we try to have a guest, don't and the sound
was so bad. I was like, we can't do this.
We just can't because like people are gonna be listening
to this, you know, and they're not gonna want to

(45:12):
hear all the crackles, all the pops, all the echoing
that's happening right now.

Speaker 5 (45:16):
Yeah, So what I do is I send them like
a quick little little something about what they could use
if they if they don't have, you know, a mic
and stuff, just like the regular pluggin night that you
would plug into your iPhone.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
Like that works great.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
Like I give them like a little cheat sheet of
what to what to expect and what to have on hand.
If we get to recording and it still is not great,
I'm like, let's be flexible, you know, we can reschedule
for later or you know, because we wanted to like
really best like frame you in your expertise, right it's you. Yeah,

(45:52):
the audience can't hear what you got to say if
there's not crackling pop happening.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
So let's reschedule.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
You were talking about having authors and reading a lot.
Have you written a book, Have you thought about writing
a book? You know, something like that.

Speaker 5 (46:06):
I've been sitting on a book, like the book is
like outlined, but I have not revisited and I think
part of it is like I'm making excuses like I'm like,
I ain't got time, and I think I'm just scared.
So that is on that's on my to do list,
on my goal list, but as of right now, I
have I don't.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
I also wonder, like, especially for books that are about
like black people, black women, stuff like that, I wonder
if this is a hard time to get published now
because there's such a backlash to it, Like it's not
even just a lack of interest. There's like a lot
of animosity towards this, like the idea. Are you experiencing
that also with the podcast?

Speaker 5 (46:47):
Yes, so sad. Yes I'm laughing to keep from crying.
But I have seen a change in listener habits. I
have seen a change in sponsorship opportunities big time. This
year has been so dry, so sad, but yeah, there's
a huge change. And honestly, when I started writing the book,

(47:09):
it was middle of last year. I think it was
last summer that I really outlined there, started speaking to
agents and things, and then when I saw what happened,
I was like, let me just pause because I don't
like when DEI became like a dirty worry. I'm just
sor right, let me just because the book would absolutely
be targeted towards black women and black people, So yeah,

(47:29):
let me just hold off because I can't build any
more heartbreak.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
No, it's very tough out there right now, and it's
you know in ways that it's so needlessly like uh,
once again, it would be different if it was almost
like neutral, but there's like an anti movement.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
I'm like, you, let's be neutral, which means you don't
need one way or the other. You're like, we support
it all, I'm fine with that. Then you just blatant, Well.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
This isn't the capitalism we were promised, right, Like, what
we were promised was like, if you can make money
doing it, no one cares, We'll just go ahead and
do it right, And as bad as that can be
for everybody, it was at least quote unquote equal, meaning like, look,
we don't care if you're doing a racist book or
inclusive book. Whatever makes us money, we gonna do it.

(48:14):
And now it's like, actually, even if you can make money, yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
We're willing to turn down dollars. And that's why I
say racism and white supremacy is irrationally illogical. It will
talk itself out of money. That's when I realized, Okay,
this is a whole other level. It is a hell
of a drug that I will never understand.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Yeah, nope, No, have you on.

Speaker 5 (48:37):
The irrational because I try to like make sense of
that and I'm just saying I'm wasting my time because it.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
Does not make sense.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
That's why I don't. It goes okay, that's what it does,
and you just go, okay, you just look at the patterns.

Speaker 5 (48:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Also, like have you felt or seen the effects post
election on black women's mental health specifically, because I definitely
feel like black women are are a target under this administration,
not just policy wise, but like personally, like they like
they are going out their black women like and maybe

(49:09):
you know, I have like a soft spot because obviously,
to me, black women back backbone on the Democratic Party,
Black back backbone of the resistance to Trump, backbone of
the resistance to UH conservatism in America. And so like
like Muriel Bowser, I think who's the mayor of d C.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
I think that's the mayor of DC.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
She's going through it right now, like because DC basically
don't have rights as a city, Like if what the
federal government decides they can do there, which is why
they keep doing stuff there is you really don't have
a pushback. You can go do a press conference and
say you don't like it, but it won't change anything, right,
And so she's in a tough situation where and I
see people they're like mad at her because like you're capitulating,

(49:51):
your cooperating and sometimes you know, I think the city's
actually suing the federal government, but it doesn't really matter
because she don't really got power to do it. And
I to me, I I can't help but have some
level of like empathy for what she's going through because
I think it's just she's a black woman in the
most controllable city in America in the most racist administration,

(50:16):
Like they're trying to make an example of her, and no,
there's no way, there's no good way out that doesn't
lead to the people of DC suffering, even if it's
for her own ego. Like she could be like, I
ain't with the shit f this administration. Y'all ain't gonna
do me like this, and then they'll just keep cracking
now hard. So I don't even know, like I don't
know there does at anyway it must have some effect

(50:40):
on black women's mental health right now in this moment.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
You know, people say that they're not into politics, but
politics affects policy. Policy affects your everyday life, you know.
So if the policy is that now DEI is a
dirty word, and now there's no funding being allocated to
things that did fund quote DEI initiatives, everybody's suffering. Right So, Now,

(51:06):
if you lose your job, let's say, and in this
current economy, this current job market, if you can't meet
your basic daily things like if you can't pay your rent,
your mortgage, if you can't, you know, it's back to
school time. Get your babies seeing what they need to
get back to school, Like that's going to add an
added load of stress, you know. So and on top

(51:28):
of just dealing with the things that unfortunately we're used
to dealing with, the black people having all of that
on top of it, we're going through it collectively, you know,
and even for those of us who are outside of
DC or now Chicago, just watching and knowing what we
know about how this country does things.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Hello, Like.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
It's yeah, it's and it was wow.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
When you were talking about people saw about they're not
into politics and what's wold to go. When you get
the driver's license in your state and you drive, you're
into it because guess what, your state determines your speed,
Your state determines how you get your license, if you
buy a house, if you ride the bus, if you
do anything within the jurisdiction of your county. Somebody, someone
has made an executive decision with the without your input

(52:19):
on what you do.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
So you might as well.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Put five owner and be like, these are the things
that I want. That's right, that's right.

Speaker 5 (52:26):
I live in Charlotte, and Charlotte is a blue city
and a sea of red, and because we voted so
blue this past election, they were trying to withhold I figure,
I think it was maybe one billion dollars from the
school system.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
My kids go to public school.

Speaker 5 (52:41):
And even if my kids did not go to public school,
the kids need what they need to learn, you know
what I mean, So like it impacts us.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Yes, we are in Charlotte too, and it's the same
thing as Yes, it's the same that we actually just
early voted in our like the Democratic primary. I yes, yeah,
And I was like, first of all, less than a
thousand people at the time we're voted, have voted, yea,
like right now your vote.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
Count like twenty times.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
More like like the big was so happy to see us.
They were probably like we ain't see nobody in three.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Hours we go.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
It was just me and him in now with everybody's attention.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
And then Charlotte, especially because it is so blue. This
really is your only say, like this moment right here
of picking your like city council members and stuff, because
once it gets to the general, the Democratic people are
going to win. Like there it's not like except for
the Meyers Park area, we won't get on them. But
other than them, the Democrats are going and maybe even

(53:39):
Meyers Park because I think Tarik McCarry was winning that
sweet by like five hundred votes, not.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
By a lot, so like now he ain't running for it.
He joined the Trump administration.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Want to come back home, but he can't run and.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
It don't know, we don't know if his wife can win.
And see, so my point is, like, imagine you in
the Meyers Park area. You've been a Democrat. Y'all been
losing this whole time. You get to the primary, this
is your chance to pick the person that might beat
the Republican for the first time in like fifteen years.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Your ass should be voting right now. This is this
is your time. So and it is hard for people
to see.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
I think it's hard for people to see that as
progress or resistance sometimes, but like that is resistance, that
is progress because a lot of times that's who you're
gonna be fighting against. If let's say you're an activist,
who do I want deciding when the police.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Cracked down on the street, right?

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Do I want it to be the dude that's like,
we need to get police more guns and weapons. Or
do I want to be the person that's like police
need to be community policing and getting to know v
Let me fight against that person I want. I want
to play the game on easy.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
I don't want to play the game on all hard,
all maden whatever.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
How'd you come up with the title of the podcast?
You el says, I wanted to be direct.

Speaker 5 (54:59):
I went it to like be like there's no guessing
what's this podcast about? You know, like I want you
to be well and I'm talking to my sists. And
at the time, sis was really just between black women.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
Now since has been like.

Speaker 5 (55:15):
I don't know how I feel about that, but a
little bit like the title. Yeah, yeah, so I felt
like be well Says was kind of like an affirmation.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
It was kind of like a call to action and
all of those things.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
That's cool, Like you, I feel like that that. I
like the title. I feel like it works on like merch.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
I actually, I actually think even with the Internet trying
to steal black people speak, even even then, I still
like feel like when I saw the title the podcast,
I was like, I know this for black women, not
it Like, even even after all that, I wasn't like,
I don't know, this could be one of those millennial
I was like.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
No, this is for sisters. I like.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
I like, And I think it's such a smart title
because it's the kind of thing where you don't have.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
To say it, but it's understood.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
And I think that's like, I don't know, I feel
like right now we're so going back to just community
and like in talk to each other and getting ourselves
through things. And I feel like this is a podcast
of the time. Even though I know you're about to
get on a million downloads, you've been doing this for years,
but you know, sometimes you can be grinding for years

(56:21):
and it really it don't be your time until it's
your time. I feel like this is a time for Like,
I know a lot of black women, especially are like,
how do we be in community and support of each other?
What can I find spaces specifically for me? And I
feel like your podcast is given that.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
Yeah, and it's one of those things. But I appreciate this.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
It's sad, but it takes struggle and hard times and
ain't we lucky we got it before Black people realize
that they some black people are like, they need other
black people and they can't do this alone, you know,
because you know, some people they think that money or
status or education almost separates them out of the community.
And what they better realize is that we all need
each other. And at the end of the day, they

(57:01):
look at you just like they look at me. And
so I appreciate for the first time, depending on what
generation you were raised uff in and you know, we
have kind of adapted a lot of the white supremacy
part of individualization because Black people used to be very
very heavy into community into helping and raising and looking

(57:24):
out for each other. And as the years is going on,
which I understand because is one of the things where
we want the best schools the best education. So we
start moving outside if you could afford to, which means
you left people who couldn't in these areas. But the
downside of that is the community was broken. And as
people got older and as like I said before, me
and my dad and Paul, Paul dad, all these people

(57:46):
who were enslaved begin to die, a lot of their
children kind of separated out and kind of separated out.
And so for me, I appreciate us coming back together.
And people are going to start looking for avenues of
community that they never thought that they knew, you know,
I needed. I'm sorry they never thought that they needed.
So for the first time, somebody gonna be like, Okay,
I feel alone, I've lost my job, or you know,

(58:09):
I want to get closer to my sisters or whatever
to relate to blackness.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
That's definitely true, and I think it's a big reflection
on society in general. Like we're talking about black people
because we're black and we know our culture, but it's
it's actually like everybody, Yes, like everybody has become more individualized,
especially after the pandemic, because so many of us went
to the internet.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Because we have a choice. I'm not knocking that we
should have done that.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Like, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to bring
everyone back together from before because now you know, I
bring this up all the time with work from home.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Work from home is dope, right is.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
There's some benefits to work from home that are like awesome,
you know, it's definitely something.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
It's definitely an.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Option or like a quick you know, a quiver you
want to have in your quill or whatever. But the
consequence of work from home has also been like less community, Nope,
no more interaction face to phase right, less third spaces
because third space because just you know, work is a
work space, home is a home space. Now your home

(59:19):
is kind of work, your work is kind of home.
You're kind of never leaving work, yes, you know what
I mean. And then and then like when you're out
with other people, like you know that third space where
there be like a gym, where there be a park,
where there be the mall, a bar. You So, if
I'm at work and I take a liking to somebody
like oh man, this dude will he's cool. What's the

(59:40):
next thing we're gonna do? Hang out a place that's
not my home and not work? Yeah, So place like
we so we've kind of lost some social connection and
I do wonder if, yeah, we're gonna be forced into
and I mean this in a hopefully as a positive
to force into finding some connections with people again. Like
to me, I know, going the gym has been big

(01:00:01):
for me to and it's not even that I be
in there.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Like I'm not a social butterfly, y'all know, I'm an.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Introvert to Roger put them handphones on going to town.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
But like I noticed, I noticed the last few times
I've gone, there's people that like speak to me. Now
we've never had a conversation, but they like stop and
speak and wave and they treat me just because we've
seen each other's facy enough. And it's a little thing, but.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
I feel like we need that shit you do.

Speaker 5 (01:00:28):
No for sure, we're human, like we're we're supposed to
be tribal people. We're community people. We work together, you know.
And one I'm also an introvert. So one thing that
I challenged myself since last year was to get to
know all the people on my block. I've been on
this block for cut up on six years, wow, and
I just now know the names of everybody. I'll know

(01:00:50):
your face and I know your baby's face, but I
don't know the names until this year.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
I'm just like this, like I had to do better.

Speaker 5 (01:00:58):
So just like the lit things like does your immediate
environment to start, because I think a lot of people
don't know their neighbors and things like that and places.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
Yeah, you know what you're making me think? It's this
ups man. And whenever me and Roger we would go
out and do something, I don't know if it was
the timing on if he was coming in and coming out,
he would always speak to us. And so one day
we were coming in and he was going up the
stit yes, oh yeah, I got you. Was talking about
just a regular ups I don't know no ups no, no, yeah,

(01:01:30):
he is a ups man.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
The neighbor.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
He always wearing that shirt I got you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
I'm sorry, I'm with you, And so he would always
catch us.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
And because I'm the extrovert, I was I speak to anybody,
waved anybody, So I'm like, hey, how you doing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
I just want to make myself be known type of thing.

Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
And to an extent, it's the defense mechanism that you know,
A I don't mean you no harm.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
And so we were going out.

Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
He was coming up.

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
He's like, Oh, hey, how y'all doing. I haven't seen
y'all know whyle y'all must have changed up y'all routine
I thought about. I was like, oh, yeah, it's not
that funny. I know that's not a big thing. But
if something happened with people federaliz or if it's an
emergency and somebody knocks on your door, you might be like,
they might be telling you the building on five.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
You don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
I always say, uh, the nosy neighbor is actually extremely
underrated because I watch a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:02:16):
I'm a neighbor. I know when they cass you get
off the bus. If I don't see three fifteen, I
don't see kids walking, I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Oh, like y'all out here doing y'all doing us as
a service. Okay, a lot of people don't. They don't
respect the nosy neighbors. They talk bad about the nosy neighbors.
But I'm telling y'all, nosy neighbors are clutch because I
watch a.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
Lot of true crime. Okay, I watch a lot of
true crime.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
I watch it be on TV. Want to watch four
my Man, Fatal Attraction payback. And the thing about them shows, man,
they be struggling to solve the murder, but it always
be somebody like, uh, now you know her kids don't
get out of school till six. And I did see,
uh she got a gentleman caller that becoming y everyone
a while, and I saw him this morning hide in

(01:03:01):
the bushes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
You ain't heard it from.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
Me, and I'd be like, disappear.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
She solved the case, thank god, thank god she was
picking out them bloods.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
And it'd be the anonymous person to to be giving
them all a detail.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
I'm just saying, averages, clutched dog, be nosy a little bit, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
You know, I'm very nosy.

Speaker 5 (01:03:19):
If I have my elderly neighbors, I don't see them
on their walk. I'm like, hold on two days, what's
going on?

Speaker 4 (01:03:25):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
I did.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
What's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
I was doing something and one of the people in
that community was like, oh, so you got a new car.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
I was like, okay, yes, yes, you see anybody else
approached this vehicle.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
You know it's not them, It ain't there. I'm just saying,
but I appreciate that, man, And that is the thing
we used to have a lot too, because I think,
especially before the Internet, like instead of scroll your phone,
you might sell on your porch.

Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Definitely, definitely I remember being a kid in the neighborhood
and being like, damn, this person gonna tell my parents
they see me do some bullshit, like hope I can
make it home before they pick up the phone.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
But they can make that phone call. I can explain myself.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Yeah, they don't know I'm not supposed to do. They
know I'm not supposed to be over here, you know.
So yeah, that definitely feels like a thing. But hopefully
I think that might come back. Like Karen, you brought
up earlier you were like black because you were talking
about black community. And I read a book ironically about
DC called Black Broadway earlier this year, and one of

(01:04:32):
the things about DC that's so interesting is that the
reason that it's Chocolate City, which is so interesting because
it's actually almost exactly even split between black, white, and
then there's other but we view it as like that's
the city where all the black people is because black
people only suposed to be thirteen percent, but at any rate,

(01:04:53):
one of the reasons they don't have a lot of
like government rights federal like they haven't been considered like
a place where you can vote first a lot of
it because it was so many black people, and so
under different PRESIDENTI or administrations, they've had different levels of pushback,
but almost never have they been like, let's make this
a state, let's make this, you know, and to push

(01:05:16):
and even the self governance of the military being able
to intervene and come into their city at any time
or the president be able to take it over.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
That's one hundred percent because it's so many black.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
People there and they were just like scared that black
people were there. But when they passed, I want to say,
it's like maybe nineteen twenties or forties or something, but
they had passed just like very strict segregation in like
you know, Jim Crow South and everything, but also DC

(01:05:45):
was experiencing like segregation popped up on them, and all
of a sudden, He's knew with this broad base of
black people here, many who had built themselves up from
nothing because they had escaped slavery to come there, and
then you start your business and you start, you know,
you get your house, you buy your lane, you do whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
They had done so much to get there, they had
created community. They had created and because at that time
it was like this refuge from the southern racism, you
were able to be like, I have a black bank,
but it services white customers black customers. I have a
black grocery store, but everyone could come in. Right Once
that segregation came through, it was like zero white people

(01:06:26):
could do this. And in addition to that, your black
ass can't go to this white bank.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
So like it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Made community out of survival, meaning there were black people
who thought, even back then, individually, I have conquered racism.
I own my own bank, I have white and black customers.
I'm hob nobbing in the social circles everywhere. I can
do what I want to.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
We are the black rich people. And then bam, segregation.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
It was like, if you want your bank to survive,
you actually have to have black customers. So those black
customers used to frown on and deny you now have
to deal with them.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
And same thing for the.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
Grocery store and all that. So it's ironic. It created community,
meaning positive came out of that where we were like
those people learned like, man, I can only rely on
my own people. I gotta stop like worshiping at these
white people's feet, and black people went like, you know what,
I used to think, I don't want a black bank.
It's probably gonna be bad in there. And it's like, no,

(01:07:22):
they're professional black people that do professional bank work like
any other body.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
Like anybody else.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
And I do wonder if this, even though it's not
as blatant like as a you know, colors only section,
but I do wonder if this is gonna push us
in a way where people rely on each other and
we can kind of break some of that individualization you
were talking about that was starting to.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
Like creep back.

Speaker 4 (01:07:49):
Yeah. And the thing is, it erodes the foundation of
who we are. And I think people don't really realize
that because people being bought here against your wheels, slavery
and all that stuff, we had to depend on each other.
You know, when we first came here, the tribes, they
didn't speak the same languages and all that stuff, but
they everybody know that was getting the ass is whooped.

(01:08:11):
So guess what, we better hold hands in kumbaya and
work our way through this if we're going to survive.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
And I think that.

Speaker 4 (01:08:18):
That part as people fought and died, the burden has
got lighter, and I think as you get generations that
are bought up in lighter loads, sometimes they forget what
people actually went through to get them to the point
where it was easier for them. And I think because
a lot of people they act like and they like
to pretend like Jim Crow and Martin Luther King and

(01:08:41):
MK and all these things. They act to act, they
try to pretend like these things were hundreds of years
ago they actually what they actually were not. And so
because of that, just a lot of the younger generations
like the distance themselves, and they act, they try to
pretend like these things can't happen again.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
But you know me, well, I saw those lessons out
of school and stuff that you don't even learn what
did happen, So you don't recognize what's happening again.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
You don't some people right now are they don't even
know this has happened before.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
You know what you know?

Speaker 4 (01:09:13):
And that's true and and something and me and you
had talked about this a while ago, and it made
me change my philosophy on how I thought. I used
to really beat myself up for my lack of knowledge
about African American history and black history but I had
to realize the way I was raised and me going
through the school system, there was some things that went

(01:09:34):
taught because Rogers was like an ap classes, so he
was taught like Tosa and I turned for.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
No, no, no, they didn't teach that in them classes.
That's not why I learned it. I learned that from
my parents. And shit, okay, yeah, like uh, to some extent,
that's the thing. We already know what we need to
do as people, like, even though it sucks that they're
trying to raise this history literally out of curriculums, uh

(01:10:00):
and keep your kid from learning, the truth is they
were always doing that, like they were always being like, listen,
you got one month of black people. Here are the
acceptable people you can write a report about.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
But a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
That I learned was my parents buying before the Mayflower.
What color was genius?

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
I'ld take you.

Speaker 4 (01:10:19):
So your parents were very adamant and they were like,
you will not lose its history.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
But it's when you have people.

Speaker 4 (01:10:26):
Who are even afraid to talk about slavery and they're
black and there every time anything comes up, they panic
and they freak because you make their kids feel bad.
It's very hard to get that generation of people to
teach their children something because the thing how I'm a victim?
Why am I afraid? Why am I ashamed? I was
a victim?

Speaker 2 (01:10:44):
Cassandra, how do you balance that, you know, being a
mother yourself of a young child, Like, how do you
balance when you bring those lessons in for a kid?
Because I can imagine that's a struggle as a parent,
because like it's like, hey, so the two fairies not real?

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
That's yeah, that's how it is in my house. I
have two.

Speaker 5 (01:11:06):
My oldest is ten, he'll be eleven in November, and
he's very observant and just so he's always asking questions,
which is great, but also it means that I need
to always like be looking up, going back to the
history and all things like that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
I'll actually say this before I answer that question.

Speaker 5 (01:11:24):
A couple of weeks ago, right before school started, he
was just like, why do we need history?

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
And what history is?

Speaker 5 (01:11:28):
Such a way time, I said, hold on, we were
in the grocery, so I said absolutely no. He sat
me in my tracks. I'm like, history is so so important.
It's all important, but especially history, especially as black wook.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
In this country.

Speaker 5 (01:11:40):
We need to know what all led up to us
being here in the conditions that we're in, good and
bad right because it can always.

Speaker 3 (01:11:47):
Repeat itself, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:11:49):
And we're seeing a lot of things right now that's
showing that it's repeating. So we need to know so
we can identify when, oh, this has happened before, and
how do we exist?

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
How do we overcome?

Speaker 5 (01:12:01):
Like you gotta know, and also when it comes to
like learning about slavery and things like that. I I'm
super like in this house and sometimes I feel like, oh,
did I do too much?

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
I say too much?

Speaker 5 (01:12:16):
But I know that they are going so hard in
other households saying the opposite that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:23):
They are relentless about it. They are relentless and people
talk about as older people die, it's gonna go away.
We see it's not. So that means they are teaching
their children this subconsciously, consciously and downright flat telling them,
So why can't we be as adamant as they are?
And so the thing the thing about your baby is
like for me to an extent, I was similar to

(01:12:46):
your baby.

Speaker 3 (01:12:46):
I was like, this shit is boring.

Speaker 4 (01:12:47):
The funk y'all talk about I don't care none aboudy
these white folks in these wigs and shit. So for me,
I tapped out of history because I was like, hey,
y'all ain't talking about nothing, because they wouldn't talking about me, not.

Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
Trying to be funny. It's like I was stripped from it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:58):
So so why y'all got me about these white people?
Find about some laying over in the front somewhere revolutionary.
I don't care, not about none of this. And so
for me, I understand your Fabor's perspective, like you have
to teach children that we have always been here and
we are a part of it, and actually we you
should be invested because we are invested because you know,
as an adult, I felt bad.

Speaker 3 (01:13:18):
But also you don't know what you know until you know.

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
So a lot of things I learned as an adult,
and I kind of felt bad, Like I said, in
my perspective had changed. But Roger, like I said, had
all this knowledge, and I'm like, well then why don't
I know?

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
But I didn't know because I also like.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
We're adults now, right, you can know if you would
like to know, you know what I mean, like, pick
up that book, read that thing. It's all this information
is out there, You're gonna learn some stuff. I'm still
constantly learning. Like that's that's how that's how wild racism
and oppression is is that I've read so many things

(01:13:54):
and that's still times like something blows my mind, you know,
like once again reading that book about you see, there
was like a section I think I read it on
the show, but the unspoken like rules that I hadn't
even known. Some of those I had assumed something, but
it was.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
Like it was crazy shit like if you come to
a four.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
Way intersection, stop, we all got cars at that time,
white people go first, regardless of the fucking rules of
the road, which is crazy because that's definitely.

Speaker 1 (01:14:22):
Gonna lead to the rents.

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
And or like something bad happened because of that because
somebody was like, I'm white doing going through going through
the section, and blacks, you guys better watch out.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
You guys know it's it's might turn all the time.

Speaker 4 (01:14:35):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
It's it's stuff like that where you know it really
you know, uh, if you address a white man or
woman's mister or missus, if they address you, you could
be a fucking doctor. It's I can they don't even
have to say your first name right, So like stuff
like that, definitely, you know, it's stuff I'm still learning,
and so like now that we're adults, it's like go

(01:14:57):
read that book, pass that knowledge on or at least
you no, no, because we always talk about history repeating itself,
and a lot of times we talk about it in
a bad way.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Right, we're like.

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
Donald Trump, history repeating itself. But also resistance is history
repeating itself? Yes it is, and a lot of times
the keys to making it through are we already know them.
They're in the books, like how did black people make
it through DC? Going through oppressions, government suppression, not having
the right to vote, economics like riots.

Speaker 1 (01:15:31):
All kinds of shit.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Even, like I said, very ironic, I read the book
this year, Like I would say that because even them
putting the National Guard in DC, that's not new, that's
not a new thing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:44):
Like they've done that before. They've deployed the military on
DC before. Like it's just stuff, and not that.

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
It's not that you're I'm accepting of these things, but
it's just like a level of preparedness because you're like
they did this before. Okay, I see they're already playing
and the seeds for how they're going to do this
so we can planting the seas on how to do things.
What topics are you looking forward to diving into, you know,
upcoming on.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
Your show.

Speaker 3 (01:16:13):
Right now.

Speaker 5 (01:16:13):
Because things are the way that they are and a
lot of people are going through it, We're talking a
lot about joy, how to cultivate that joy within us.
What I'm really excited about towards the end of the year,
I'm speaking to people who have either written about food
and how our legacy is passed down through our food
and things I love to eat, so hearing the story
is about, you know, people that I just didn't know,

(01:16:37):
or how certain dishes came to be you know, yeah,
are as well. I'll be talking about so towards the
end of the year, especially as we go into like
Thanksgiving and Christmas and things, it's all a lot about
food and then just different joy practices too, because typically
when everythink about wellness, we think about like you know,

(01:16:58):
like the vacation, the manny petty things that cost right,
and like we're looking for the joy outside of us.
But we're really talking about how do we cultivate that
joy within us, you know, without having to necessarily spend
anything and how do we every single day do something
that sparks a little bit of joy even though things
might be difficult and challenging and different than what we expected,

(01:17:20):
what we planned for. How do we have one thing
that we could either look forward to or just bring
joy to ourselves and people around us. So lots to
talk about joy. And I'm a reader, so we'll be
talking a lot about books I typically read like self Help,
but I've put that down all year. I've been going
deep into my like romance and historical fiction books, so

(01:17:42):
just to bring some levity to my life. And I
feel like I'm my listener and I know they need
some levity too, So we talk into like different authors
and things like that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
So I love that, especially about the joy joyful practices
that don't cost a lot, because you know, I think
that's very important.

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
And I'm like, man, I.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Would have two years ago, three years ago, I would
not believe the person I am the day because I
go outside and go on like a I walk for
a hour, so pretty much like three to two to
four times a week, and that shit is really I mean,
it seemed like it's basic just being outside. It really

(01:18:24):
don't seem like it would be what is everything they
say it is?

Speaker 1 (01:18:29):
It really does, is done.

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
Wonders for my mental health is done obviously wonders for
my health health. And it's not even like I like
I'm not out there running, Like it's not even like
some like this exercise, but the point of the exercise
is more like like do something for an hour, you know,
get your heart rate up, but like literally sitting in
the park for like ten minutes and just looking at

(01:18:53):
birds and turtles and stuff, like it's really walking through
the woods. Like I would not have thought I was
that person even two three years ago. But now it's
like I'll get antsy if I don't do it, Like
if I I've taken my ass out in the rain
before a while, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
Like, I gotta do something. I love that, Yeah, I
love that, Like I gotta do something. Let me phone
this poncho and get these miles in.

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
But and it's crazy because it's something so basic, but
it does even I was reading it, like I said
the book Digital Madness, even ten minutes outside does wonder
for people with mental health.

Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
You can just get ten minutes a day. It's not
even this exercise.

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
You could go ten minutes, sit on the park bench,
read a book, and but that that does something mentally
for stuff like depression, anxiety that inside.

Speaker 5 (01:19:42):
Yeah, it's real and it boosts like our neuro transmitter.
It's like literally like seven tonin dopamine. Just seeing nature
and getting that fresh air like the greens, the blues,
the cloths of the flowers, like literally makes us produce
hormones that make us feel.

Speaker 3 (01:19:58):
A little bit better. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:19:59):
So yeah, are religious, but like God knew what he
was doing, like when when they created all these things,
you know, So for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
It's one hundred percent like and it's these are basic things.
It don't cost you nothing, you know what I mean,
go into space, see some other people do shit, Like
you know, life is lifing. You know that that the
thing you know, this this glass box or whatever is
not the be all end all of life or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:20:26):
You know. And I think when I talk about like
how I've.

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
Been looking at the world differently the last few years,
I think that's a big part of it is, uh
seeing like seeing what's happening in my phone is a
thing that's just happening in my phone, yes, meaning so
like it's while it is important. Did you stay informed?
And I do stay inform. I mean that's what we
do our show for. But there's a level of like, okay,

(01:20:52):
so I don't know, uh, Young Thug is going through
it right now. That is very entertaining. Okay, I've seen
the leaks. Whoever's leaking this, you guys are the Feds, y'all,
y'all aren't y'all bag? The fans are in their bag
with these leaks because I don't know who planned it out, the.

Speaker 3 (01:21:09):
Drops, who played out the mixtape drops.

Speaker 2 (01:21:12):
I mean, it's crazy right now. The man just did
a podcast last night. I didn't watch it, but I
was like, damn, they got this man to go in
a podcast studio to explain himself.

Speaker 1 (01:21:22):
Them leaks were so good.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
But ah, and while you know it's you know it's
but at some point, it's also like just a thing
that's happening somewhere. It's not really affecting my life, Like
I don't want to let it preoccupy too much. And
it also I'm using something trivial, but sometimes it's even
serious shit where like and like I said, it makes
me see things differently, like that I was talking to

(01:21:45):
Randolph yesterday about the tap of the brown thing, and
I was like, yeah, I just chose to be like
graceful for everybody involved, Like people that got mad.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
I get it her saying it. I get why she
was saying it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
Sound like if she was talking to me in my house,
I wouldn't have got mad. I would be like, yeah,
I've been through that, thank you. I appreciate you know.
I'm not a failure taba though. I'm gonna keep grinding
even if I gotta get a job.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
I'm not giving up. But also, if people want to
be mad, that's what they want, That's what they gonna do.

Speaker 2 (01:22:16):
And it's I'm still gonna go outside, experience that real sunshine,
smell the turtles and the birds, and and go on
my walk. And then that's the thing I control. You know,
I'll go to the gym, lift those weights. I can
control that. You know how my body reacts to that
I did something productive that helped me point one percent

(01:22:37):
more that day. That there's something about that that has
added levity to a lot of my life to where
I you know, because I used to spiral out online.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
I used to heavily be whatever's happening over here, is this.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
Is happening to me too, you know, as opposed to
be like, listen that whatever I just witnessed, that sucks.
But it's also like, I have other things in life
I have to pay attention to as well in order
to find that joy and that positivity and happiness.

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:23:06):
And also I think for me, as I've gotten old,
and as time went on and as the internet, and
sometimes you have to do a personal inventory and be like, hey,
what's important to me and what's not important to me?
And sometimes y'all, I don't care what the fuck y'all
talking about.

Speaker 3 (01:23:21):
I just don't care.

Speaker 4 (01:23:23):
And me not caring doesn't mean that these things don't
impact me. It means that I'm not willing to put
the level of effort to get to anger that you
guys are. Because I realized I cannot be angry all
the time. And I think that some people they are addicted.
And I've come to this. When I came to this conclusion,

(01:23:43):
it made people's behave you make more sense. You're addictive.
You are always in control over the things that you do,
and so you are in control over these fluctuation of emotions.
I can control every time you hit that app you
area is in control when you get off, like you're
actually are are you actually all making these decisions? And
so in my mind, I was like, why don't they

(01:24:04):
just get off? Then? Oh, it's an addiction like drugs, alcohol, sugar,
these things. So when it's designed to be addiction, yes,
and so when it's an addiction, it's very hard to
tell somebody to stop their addiction. So once I realized that,
I was like, Okay, they're gonna have to go through
and navigate this until they get to the point that
they've had enough, so I can't convince you otherwise.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
Everybody burns out at different times when they do.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
Like I, you know, I think I'm a little more
graceful about people on the internet in general because I've
been there, and I just feel like everyone it's not
their fault. It's like smoking cigarettes, like, it's not the
people that created a platform don't care about us.

Speaker 1 (01:24:42):
They just see us as like things they can use.

Speaker 2 (01:24:47):
And so the arc is that it will burn you out.
The more you're on it, it will burn you out. Everyone's
on the same arc, different people at different points. You know,
people at the beginning are like, no, it's right out here, man,
this is awesome. And if people are the hen are
just like you know those veterans that are just like let.

Speaker 1 (01:25:04):
Me tell you some kid, the internet was at twenty nineteen,
was it?

Speaker 4 (01:25:07):
You know, it's not showing your scars.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
Yeah, so like every yeah, everyone's on different paths, right,
and much like anything like say alcohol or something, you
gotta find.

Speaker 1 (01:25:17):
Your balance of what your balance, what's healthy for you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:20):
Some people are zero, like I don't give me a
sip of anything, and some people are out here drunk
and just drive. It's different for everybody at different points.
So I think that's how you know, you have to
choose how to navigate it.

Speaker 5 (01:25:34):
And somebody in the comments said they started scrolling past
and filtered words because of this reason that like you
have the tailor if you must be on the internet
like not interested block ye, like take some ownership.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
And I have to do that.

Speaker 5 (01:25:48):
Like if I see too much like that man's face
on my feet, no black whoever's.

Speaker 3 (01:25:53):
Posting that, Like, oh I do too.

Speaker 4 (01:25:55):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:25:56):
The way the way the way my social media is
curated down to the ground, I like it may have
aired on the side of sometimes I miss stuff that
people are just sending me because they're nice or whatever,
and I don't. I hate that I missed that, But
also I gotta take that balance every time. I'd rather
not see enough than see too much, because see it

(01:26:17):
too much was driving me crazy. And it and unfortunately
the people that made it, they are tailoring it to
overdose you. They're not they're not They're not trying to
give you a little bit. You know, if I log
on right now, I'm sure i'll see uh, whatever it is,
I'll see, I'll see a bunch of it, is my point.

Speaker 1 (01:26:35):
Like, so, like, I don't know how it decides by.

Speaker 5 (01:26:38):
The way, No, I think the amount of time you
are on the post, it tells the algorithm you like this, okay,
so you'll get more.

Speaker 2 (01:26:46):
So even if I'm not even liking it, they know
I stopped to be like.

Speaker 4 (01:26:49):
Angry, okay that you froze, so they probably counting how
long you looked at it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:54):
Yeah, Like, this is not shade. This is not shade.

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
I know this person also at our heart, but this
is not shade. I have never watched a second of
or listen to the Joe Budden podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
I do love hip hop, though back.

Speaker 3 (01:27:07):
In the day I dad like maybe twenty sixteen and seventeen.

Speaker 1 (01:27:10):
I've me literally not a second.

Speaker 2 (01:27:13):
It's not like a personal boycott or anything. I don't
have no problems with I just it's just not it's
just not for me.

Speaker 3 (01:27:18):
Right right, not for me.

Speaker 1 (01:27:19):
The way Twitter has decided I'm the number one fan.
It's crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:27:25):
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:27:26):
I'd be like, not interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:27:27):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:27:27):
They'd be like, oh, you ain't gonna believe what are you.

Speaker 3 (01:27:30):
Sure I've never watched it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
I know the people name on the show. I do
too because of Twitter. Twitter be like, you are going
to you gonna watch this?

Speaker 2 (01:27:38):
I'm be like, not interested, scrolling past. They be like,
if you even stopped to say not interesting, you interested?

Speaker 1 (01:27:45):
Deep down?

Speaker 3 (01:27:48):
We know people be lying. You know. I have a
question for y'all.

Speaker 5 (01:27:53):
Do you feel sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like,
what really pops? It's inflammatory, right, like people love mess? Yes,
frustrated that like people love mess and you're business and mess.

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
I know, yeah, Nah, we never gonna blow up the
way we could blow up. And I've just accepted that
a long time ago, because it's like I refuse for
my own mental health. I can't be in the I
can't be in.

Speaker 1 (01:28:22):
The eye of a mess storm all day. Some people
got it.

Speaker 4 (01:28:25):
Yeah, I don't know how they got it a personality.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
I don't know how they got it, but they got it,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:28:30):
Where it's just like every day like and I'm not
even like I said, I'm not even calling them bad people.
I think that's one of the things that makes people
be able to be very successful the Internet that I
don't have, like even like Tabitha Brown's ability to be
in the center of a storm and be like, I
still know who I am. I'm a good person. I'm
just trying to help her life. I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (01:28:52):
I don't got it.

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
Like if everybody was like motherfucking me tonight on the internet,
I'd be like, oh what what what?

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
I was just trying to help, Like I would be out,
y'all would the way I would have spiraled out if
I was in this.

Speaker 1 (01:29:06):
If everybody you hate black women, you told us to
get jobs? No I did, and that's not what I meant.
Please stop, Oh he mad?

Speaker 2 (01:29:12):
Now you know, like I got it. So I've accepted that,
Like our lot in life is that we like we're
self sustained.

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
Podcast. This is perfectly fine with me.

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
And if it's never the number one show on Apple,
you just gotta be happy because what's for other people
is always for you.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
And if you only look at the the ups.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
You'll never look at the downs because we don't really
share the downs normally like people share the ups. Right,
Hey just made this much money, this many views, this
many things, but they not sharing like, man, I couldn't
sleep last night. I had so much anxiety off of
the some of the comments, or oh man, what am
I gonna do?

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
I gotta come up with a new video tomorrow. I'm
stressing out.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
I've decided to have a life where I sleep at
night and feel peaceful and I and these are the
things that work for me. So I think that's the
trade off.

Speaker 1 (01:30:02):
You have to look at yep.

Speaker 2 (01:30:04):
Once again, in the book Digital Madness, they talk about
this phenomenon of and it's real, but people look at
other people on the internet all the time sharing their ups,
and it makes you feel bad about yourself. We often
talk about teenagers.

Speaker 3 (01:30:19):
Yes they're very impact.

Speaker 2 (01:30:21):
But you know what's you know what I was reading
the book, what it made me think teenagers is just
a concept for us to talk about how it does
us too, because we'll be like, man, these teen girls,
they see these things and it makes them like harm themselves,
It makes them feel bad about their bodies.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
Da da dah.

Speaker 2 (01:30:40):
And I'm like, yeah, but if a sixteen year old
spost a cigarette or a thirty year old supposed a cigarette,
cigarette still do cigarette things to your body. So it's
happening to us.

Speaker 1 (01:30:52):
Maybe we're a little.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
Stronger, we're a little more grounded and rooted than who
we are. But whatever is happening to them kids, that's
the Canarian of coal mine for us. So like, if
it makes a fifteen year old girl feel bad that
Beyonce posted a picture and she looks great, then it
does something subconsciously to me too. I also feel that
even if you know, even if I don't may not

(01:31:14):
be as affected as they are, there's part of me
that's like that.

Speaker 1 (01:31:18):
And you'll hear people express this other ways where it'll be.

Speaker 2 (01:31:21):
Like, man, I log on the Instagram and everybody's posting
their wedding photos and and I'm like, damn, it's affecting
you because it's supposed to be I'm happy, Oh your way, anniversary, congrats,
But instead there's a little part that's.

Speaker 1 (01:31:36):
Coming back at you, like why you ain't got no woman?
Oh you by yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:31:41):
And so that that is a real constant thing that's
happening to all of us, you know, kind of sucks, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
For sure.

Speaker 4 (01:31:48):
And I think for me, to go back to the
question that you asked, I know that I'm not built
for that because of my personality and who I am.

Speaker 1 (01:31:57):
I think that.

Speaker 4 (01:32:00):
Or me, I would probably knowing me, I would crash
out and crash out in a different way. Or I'll
probably just sit in here and have Roger probably just
hear me rant, because because that's the thing. It's not
that I don't have all these big feelings and all
these emotions and all these things. I just don't go
on the internet with it, Like the things that irritate
me and make me mad and make me upset. I

(01:32:21):
want to call somebody stupid. I just turned to my
left and look at Roger and just tell him how
I feel, and then I'm fine with my life and
I go on by my business. I just don't put
those things online. And that can say people think just
because you're not on there that you're not impacted by it,
or just because you don't post as much. You don't
see things and I do. And so for me, I'm
like mm hmm. And the question that you had about

(01:32:43):
the audience, this is what I realized. The everybody ain't
meant everybody not gonna like you. So regardless of what
you do and how big you are, you are gonna
have a subsection of people that's just not gonna like
the fact that you existed and you doing whatever it
is you're doing for whatever, for their own personal reasons,
be it they don't like you because you're always happy,
they don't like you for because you're pretty, or they

(01:33:04):
think that you think you are at whatever the reason
is they have, they have their own personal glitches that
they're gonna project on you. And because of that, what
I've realized is I know I'm not for everybody, and
I'm okay not being for everybody. And what people don't
the damn part of people don't tell you when you
go catch everybody, you getting everybody, which means you getting
the craziest, You're getting the lunatics and you getting the haters,

(01:33:27):
like like, they don't tell you that part of actually
fishing for everybody, You literally are bringing the good and
the bad into your circles. And so for me, if
you don't want to be here, you ain't got to
be here. It's no obligation. We are not a cult
and so and so. So in my mind, I'm like, hey,
get off the hook, gone by your business, live your life. No,

(01:33:47):
I'm serious, no hard feelings either way, because I'm also
a podcast listener. So it's podcast that I've dropped off,
came back, went back and forth, being all over the
place with so I'm not an exception to the rule,
Like like, I don't feel no obligation to hold on
to you forever.

Speaker 1 (01:34:00):
Cassandra, what about you?

Speaker 2 (01:34:02):
Like, are you looking around at even though you know
it's a be wells it's a health and wellness podcast,
are you looking around at the podcast landscape seeing the
clips that go viral and being like, man, maybe I'll
should be doing that or like, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:34:18):
Yeah, I think especially in the health and wellness space,
like there's a lot of we see a lot of pseudoscience,
anti science and that shit pops.

Speaker 4 (01:34:29):
And I'm like, no, it's not based reality.

Speaker 5 (01:34:33):
And I'm like, oh man, and yeah, I'm right now.
I like in this season in my in my podcasting journey.
Like I'm like very frustrated, but you know what, you
just really gave me a word, Karen, because like a
I am also a listener, Like, so I know, I
like drop off and I come back. Maybe I don't

(01:34:53):
come back to some podcast. It's not that nothing personally
can see or whatever. Yeah, it doesn't apply anymore, right,
And then also, yeah, you're right, like when you invite
everybody or when everybody comes, you're getting truly every Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:35:10):
Now, I always say that about our show.

Speaker 2 (01:35:11):
People would be like, we'll I'll be like a guest
to parents on someone's show or something.

Speaker 1 (01:35:16):
They're like, oh yeah, so what are you guys starting
to do? Like blow up?

Speaker 2 (01:35:21):
You know how I mean, done it? And I'm like,
I don't want all the listeners. I just like the
cool ones.

Speaker 1 (01:35:26):
So like if I.

Speaker 2 (01:35:27):
Come do your show and you got fifty thousand listeners,
but in my mind you got like two hundred ones
that would like mess with us, that would get our vibe.

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
I'll take the two hundred. I don't need the fifty thousand.

Speaker 2 (01:35:38):
Like you know, some like especially with pop culture, politics
and comedy and stuff, do you look at what's at
the top of the list, Joe Rogan.

Speaker 1 (01:35:49):
You know, I don't Adam Carolla.

Speaker 2 (01:35:52):
People, you know, would you do go on there show?
And I'm like, I could go, but let me tell
you what, It's not gonna help as much as I
go on a show that similar to ours, agree because
it showed that similar to ours, maybe ninety percent of
those people here to go ooh, I'm gonna check that out.
Like if I if I'm on Kevi on Stages podcast,
much more of his artists will cross over. They're like, oh,

(01:36:12):
look at this black couple that is being funny. If
I go on Adam Corolla show, the ones that come
might be like.

Speaker 4 (01:36:19):
Burn it down, let's le All of a sudden, the
chat room is lit and they arguing with each other.

Speaker 1 (01:36:24):
You never know, we found them, that's what they behind.
So like, I don't like all attention is not good attention.

Speaker 5 (01:36:30):
And you know, when I think it was twenty twenty
one or twenty twenty two, I was new and noteworthy,
but like the second place, and so you're on like
right there, my ratings went down so bad.

Speaker 3 (01:36:46):
I'm just like, oh, they found him husband, and it's like, babe,
it's not you like.

Speaker 4 (01:36:49):
Right they come Yeah, they're coming out, they'll start posting
and leaving comment.

Speaker 3 (01:36:55):
And leaving one star reviews. I'm like, what happened, Lord?

Speaker 1 (01:36:58):
Because they angry about out nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:37:00):
Now, Yes, we don't even have to be involved in
the angry look at look at the cracker barrel thing.

Speaker 1 (01:37:06):
Black people wasn't even involved in the cracker barrel thing.

Speaker 2 (01:37:09):
That was a whole news cycle of just white people,
white on white violence.

Speaker 4 (01:37:13):
Yes, we had nothing to do with that.

Speaker 2 (01:37:14):
Black people didn't care about that sign. We ain't care
about that man. We ain't give about the new logo either.

Speaker 3 (01:37:19):
We was eating cracker barrel would Yeah, either you in.

Speaker 1 (01:37:21):
There for breakfast or you're not in there for breakfast.
But you ain't thought about it. No, you wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
Like, it's not like black people's walking past that sign,
like I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:37:31):
I'll eat here anyway, so I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
But like that tells you that there's a hole in
these people that is missing, something that is making them
attack things. So yeah, it's funny, new and noteworthy. All
this is doing is trying to introduce you out to
some new podcasts, some new things you may.

Speaker 1 (01:37:47):
Or may not heard of it.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
Hey, click on this check it out to see that
and go, I gotta go give her a bad rate
it Like she's trying to help black women, not on
my watch. That's insane and there's nothing you can do
about that. There's nothing you can control about that. And
you definitely don't want to internalize that.

Speaker 1 (01:38:04):
Because you know, I've listened to the show a few
times at this point, and you're doing good work.

Speaker 2 (01:38:09):
You're trying to spread positivity and enjoy You're out here
being a support system for other black women at a
time where black women definitely gonna need it after this
shit ain't the truth, and so like we got yeah,
you got to stay on the own mission and stay
on message without you know, seeking that not that validation
and affirmation isn't good, but like sometimes if we willcome

(01:38:30):
to be holding the external validation and affirmation, it can
turn you know, That's what we I've really experienced with
the Internet, especially thinking about like we we talk pop
culture here a lot, So we talk about like Cardi B.
We talk about Liz O, we talk about uh, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:38:46):
All kinds of all especially a lot of black women.

Speaker 2 (01:38:48):
Right Megan is statue And one of the problems with
like the external Internet validation is that it's so flimsy,
like it'll flip and in a way that a lot
in a way that a real person wouldn't do, Like
like if you came on here and we disagreed about something,
I'm not gonna We're not gonna hop off here and

(01:39:09):
be like Cassandra's never coming back.

Speaker 1 (01:39:10):
Okay, she said one thing now.

Speaker 2 (01:39:12):
Not out of ten things she said, we were like agree,
but then she said one thing and on that one thing,
she's dead to me. But the Internet does that a
lot because because we're not really seeing each other as
humans were seeing each other as content.

Speaker 1 (01:39:27):
So it's like it's like turning the channel, right.

Speaker 2 (01:39:30):
Uh, I don't want to be on the Cardi B
channel anymore, she said, the thing I don't like, she's done.

Speaker 1 (01:39:35):
And I think.

Speaker 2 (01:39:37):
The other side of that having it happened to you,
or being or seeing that it could be a possibility
of a thing that can happen. It can have effect
on your mental health and affect your mission and be
you know, like you said, you're looking at your rations,
We're looking at our followers, we're looking at our review
We're looking at so much stuff that's constantly giving.

Speaker 1 (01:39:55):
Us this loop of like past fail, good.

Speaker 3 (01:39:58):
Bad.

Speaker 2 (01:39:59):
Oh the thing you said today, you shouldn't have said
that thing today. Oh the thing you didn't say yesterday,
you should have said it. You know, that type of thing,
And I think it does have a real effect. But
knowing yourself and your own values is pretty much the
only thing I think that can get you through that,
Cause you know, sometimes you just got to be like,
I know, I know what I'm doing is hurting people,
or I know I'm trying to help, And I know

(01:40:20):
these people over here that do know me, they would
check me cause I keep them kind of people on
my circle that if I was out here fucking up,
there's a bunch of people that would tug my coat.

Speaker 1 (01:40:29):
Before the Internet get to it to.

Speaker 4 (01:40:31):
Be like hey, hey, playing all right, okay, all right,
how do you feel about you know, cause there's two
sides of the Internet. There's the people that are on
the Internet that kind of just do their thing and
they just kind of out there and they just say
stuff and attack people and don't think of it and
don't have any compassion or anything. But with you being

(01:40:52):
like on the side of like that noteworthy thing, how
is your perspective changed? Because a lot of people, they
will never be noteworthy of anything on the Internet, so
they will never understand what it's like to have somebody
come and just critique you for no reason other than
you just existing. How has that changed your perspective on
how you interact with the internet, Because for some people,

(01:41:15):
I've seen it in real time. I've seen people who
would just go out and just do things and would
just they would want to be somewhere and they would
do things to get on these platforms. Then when they
got there, all of a sudden, they would have one
getting critiqued. So all of a sudden, their perspective changed.
Because once you are on that other side and people
are actually looking and watching and paying you attention, your

(01:41:37):
perspective change. So how has your perspective changed?

Speaker 2 (01:41:41):
You know?

Speaker 5 (01:41:41):
I feel like I have always been I'm like super sensitive,
like to a fault sometimes. So I remember, like years ago,
like during the early days of Instagram, and I would
go like on a celebrities page and I look at
the comments, I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:41:57):
People are so vile, so like i'd be because I
will see.

Speaker 5 (01:42:00):
How me I'm like, there's somebody on the other side
of this, like that star, like Jala whoever, they're a person,
if they're real in these comments, like that's so hurtful.
So I've never been a person to like necessarily critique
in public, but I may be like, oh, that was
trash to my husband black y'o.

Speaker 3 (01:42:17):
Do you see that.

Speaker 5 (01:42:18):
I'll never like type it like for the person to
possibly see why, you know. And then especially now even
now my conversations with like the people in my life,
if I see somebody trying something new, trying something different,
I'm not going to have much of the need to
say unless it's positive.

Speaker 1 (01:42:36):
You know.

Speaker 5 (01:42:37):
I may think, ooh, it's not quite there yet, but
I'm not going to share that with anybody verbally, you know,
because we all out here trying something, and I think
it takes courage to try something.

Speaker 4 (01:42:47):
I do to.

Speaker 1 (01:42:48):
So, yeah, we're emotional, we're emotional.

Speaker 2 (01:42:50):
Bumper cars, we're just bumping off each other at the
theme park, causing all kinds of repercussions. So you gotta
be careful and mindful of that, because yeah, we all
have a story. Every single one of us existing right
now has a story of somebody that said something to
us that didn't mean that much to them, but meant
a lot to us, good or bad, and that is

(01:43:12):
a constant thing you got to be aware of because
you just really never know. We've had people that come
up to us that I mean and it's not even
a bad thing, but they'll be like this thing you said, Man,
it changed my life. Man, you said that, and they
really be something where I'd be like, I don't even
remember that shit like so you know, it happens the
bad way too. Like you just got to be careful
out here. Man, Listen, this has been fun. I feel

(01:43:34):
like we kept you over the amount of time we said,
but it was a good conversation. Tell the people where
to find you and how to support be well says Yes.

Speaker 5 (01:43:44):
So my podcast is called be Well Sin is found
on every streaming platform. I also have a YouTube channel
where I post like the video episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:43:53):
It's still relatively new.

Speaker 5 (01:43:55):
I'm trying to get to my first thousand subscribers, So
if you can go ahead and subscribe with on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (01:44:00):
As well as all the other places, I appreciate it.
And I'm on Instagram.

Speaker 5 (01:44:04):
So on Instagram I'm at b well sis underscore podcast,
and I'm also on threads, but on th I'm literally
just if I think it I posted and it's really
usually nothing like I was at the grocery store yesterday
and I was like posting about the breasts of butter,
so like, ain't nothing really over there?

Speaker 1 (01:44:19):
Now that's relatable. I do the same thing. I don't
have a digital strategy. I'll just be out here saying stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:44:24):
I was like, man, y'all, y'all ever think about blank?
And then it's like either everybody goes no or whatever.
And then half the time what goes viral and stuff,
there's no way to know anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:44:35):
I know, you never really that's something algorithm can't figure out.

Speaker 1 (01:44:40):
Nah, it's truly innocu with stuff that that. That is
just like, hey, man, did you know they got they
don't post it you on Reddit under black people Twitter.

Speaker 4 (01:44:47):
I'm like, I didn't know it was the black people.

Speaker 1 (01:44:50):
I didn't even know that was the thing I was
just talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:44:54):
I was just talking about, you know, the last name
of the woman that sued Shannon Sharp being Sue Nigga
and being like that.

Speaker 1 (01:45:03):
Name nigga z u n I g a z u
n I g A. But I was like, that was
a clue. He should have known he was gonna lose everything.

Speaker 2 (01:45:12):
Okays, you gotta pay attention and now larious, Yeah, and
I said that as a joke and now it's got
that work.

Speaker 1 (01:45:23):
That one got three hundred and three thousand views right now.

Speaker 2 (01:45:28):
Meanwhile, you know, if I said something that I thought
was profound to be like six people that care, you
get six arts.

Speaker 1 (01:45:35):
That's why you can't look for external validation.

Speaker 2 (01:45:38):
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go outside of get in
the sunshine or the rain, whatever and get my get
my steps in today.

Speaker 1 (01:45:45):
Thanks for being here, Cassandra, Thank you baby. Yeah, thanks listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:45:50):
Make sure y'all go out and check out be Well says,
and we'll be back throughout the week until next time.

Speaker 1 (01:45:57):
I love you, nah,

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Crime Junkie

Cardiac Cowboys

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}3155: Be Well, Sis

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Crime Junkie

Cardiac Cowboys

All Episodes

3155: Be Well, Sis

On Purpose with Jay Shetty