3198: The Mamarazzi

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I listen to The Black Guy Who Tips podcast because
Rodin Karen out.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hey, welcome to another episode of the Blackout Tills podcast.
I'm your host, Rod joined Us always on my co
host Hearin, and we're live on a Tuesday night, ready
to do some podcasting programming note. Show note, guys, I'm
working on some stuff with the website, or actually I'm
paying some people to work on some stuff with the website.

(00:29):
So if you're having any issues singing, like certain premium
content all this stuff, I know I'm working on it.
I got the best people on it, and that means
people that know how to program other than me, so
they will get back to me and let me know
for sure what everything's gonna be up. But if you
have any questions, of course, the Blackout tis at gmail

(00:50):
dot com and if anything you know gets too crazy,
we'll figure out work around or something. But yeah, just
letting you know, because I already had somebody email me like, hey,
I couldn't find a thing, and I was like, that
is news to me as.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Well, So we are all learning together.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
So but yeah, it should be back up hopefully soon.
But in addition to that, in the show notes, you
can always find a link to this. We're going to
Vegas next April, Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Our first time there.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm excited, and we're gonna be part of what's called
pod Jam three with Pete Dominic and it's gonna be
a rip roaring good time. It better be okay Vegas, Baby.
What happens in Vegas, it stays there, but then we
will probably the people leave, so I guess what happens
every place. Technically it stays there, but anyway, we will

(01:44):
be there and you can get tickets in the show
notes if you look at the link. And I'm not
telling you what to pay, but they have a pay
whatever you want to pay tier. I don't know how
they're gonna make money, but that ain't my job. My
job is to get you guys to go. So we're
gonna be out there live podcast and I say, pay

(02:06):
what you want to pay. You know, it's up to
you guys. And we also were on Pete Dominic's podcast,
Stand Up with Pete, so when the next episode comes out,
we should be on there. And we had a good time.
Man had it was so funny. It's great Mike. Of course,
Mike Kaplan knows him, because he knows everybody, everybody.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
In fact, here Pete is a super funny comedian and
you know, super smart and thoughtful social commentator, political commentator
as y'all are. And not only that, here's something that
you and Pete have in common is one month ago thereabouts,
I did I think your podcast on a Tuesday and

(02:49):
his podcast also on that same Tuesday, just a few
hours earlier, and both of you said, hey, you should
come back on like more frequently than just every However,
many years between you got projects to brow come back
on and have a conversation and so, and both of
you were like, yeah, like talk to me like in

(03:10):
a month. And so I sent a message to you.
I sent a message to Pete. I was like, it's
been a month, let's do it. And here I am,
and I am waiting.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
For a text from Pete. I'm optimistic.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
I feel like I understand he was busy with you guys.
And I have the big pod jam in Vegas going on.
What happens in Vegas gets podcasted everywhere, truly, I mean,
what what stays? Nothing stays, There is no every it is,
there is impermanence. What happens here is gone a moment later,
like sand running.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Through our fingers. That is true. You have a great time.
We're only living with the impacts of what happened already.
And that is Mike kaplan. If you guys go heillo, Uh,
my man, Mike, he like he just gave you the backstory.
He hit me up.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was like, it's the quickest ton around for you ever.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, he said no. I said, don't be a stranger,
and he said, hello, friend, and he's back already. Mike,
what shakes man? What's been going on in the last month.
I've missed anything. I feel like these segments are gonna
get shorter the more you come on the show. Oh well,
we'll see about that. I challenge accepted.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm gonna answer that question until I'm back on next month.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
I believe you could do it.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
I don't just kind of roll.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Through, roll over.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
See last I was here, it was I think a
day before my special Renie was coming out, and we
did We're thereabouts, And so the special came out and
a lot of people have been watching and saying nice things,
and I'm continuing to encourage people to do that.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
You know, watch again. I don't know how the numbers work.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Just put it on for thirty one seconds, turn it off,
put it on again for thirty one seconds, keep at it.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
Inflate those numbers. That's the way you do things.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
Tell tell friends, I've I've been now this is I'm
on like a I was on like a real pod junket,
you know, for the month leading up to it, two
months maybe, And now it's nice, there's breathing room and time.
Reenie and I are getting ready tomorrow to start driving
to her family in Missouri. I will do some shows

(05:18):
in Pennsylvania, Ohio along the way.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Kansas and Missouri when we get there.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
But yeah, it's been We signed up for new acting
classes that start in January.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Do you both do you both act already or is
this like a new venture for both the you guys.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Ooh, this is a what a great a what a
rich mind we have here to dig into?

Speaker 2 (05:43):
It is?

Speaker 1 (05:44):
It is new to me, like I have acted in
that friends of mine have like invited me to be like,
do you want to be in this sketch?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Do you want to be in this movie?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
I'm like absolutely, I Like I got an agent for
the first time in two thousand and nine, and they
started sending me out on you know, auditions, and I didn't.
I'd never taken acting classes. I didn't have a specific
desire to act. It wasn't my art of choice. Like
like like I like making music and comedy where I'm
me the guy who makes it and I know exactly

(06:13):
how it goes because I'm the director and producer, writer, actor,
I'm I'm all of it. But in acting, when somebody's
like be this, say this, I was like, ah.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
You can't tell me what to do, and they're like, well,
then you can't be.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
In oura because the director does kind of tell you
what to do and the writer does tell you what
to say. But RENI for many years, you know, we're
both in our forties. For certainly most of her adult life,
she has been very interested in acting, as you know,
an art form. She has memorized lots of monologues, we've
gone to plays together. She has like lots of books

(06:50):
about acting, the art of it and such, and she's
been extremely interested in it but never officially studied it.
But there's a place in New York City called the
Barrow gri G where like lots of great actors have
come through there. We saw them do a show in
Scotland when we were there for the Edinburgh f invest
in twenty twenty three and their show it was like
watching real people like Renie was super impressed. I also

(07:13):
it was just like moving and like heavy and really human.
And then one of the actors in it invited us
to another show in New York and we went and
saw that same deal and then an actor friend of
mine told me, oh, yeah, they're like the best.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
They were.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Other acting classes will kind of teach you, my friend said,
they'll act, they'll teach you to act like them, like
this is our way, do it like us, whereas the
Barrow group, my friend said, will teach you to act
like you like you will, which is like a really
beautiful like. There's this book I think I probably talked
to you about, called Several Short Sentences about writing by

(07:51):
Virlin Klinkenborg, and he at the beginning of it says,
I'm not here to teach you to write like me.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
I'm here to teach you to write like you.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I think that any teaching, any classes, any way that
you study any kind of art, it really has to
come from you. So the best teachers are really facilitators
to help you get out of the way to help
you discover, you know, ship away at what's not you
to be like, oh, here's me coming out of the
you know the marble that Oh it was me the
whole time, me inside of me.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
It's like a real treasure. It's like whenever people talk
about like a lot of times people talk about education
and what kids need and what schools need to do.
A lot of times people talk about what they should learn,
like they should learn remember, they should memorize the Constitution,
or they should learn, you know, the Ten Commandments or whatever,

(08:39):
and very little of it is like how to learn,
Like they should learn how to learn, they should learn
how to reason, how to think? Yeah, like how like
not what to think? Resolve? How does this thing reach
a logical conclusion? Like that kind of thing. And that
feels like that's the approach to the acting class is
like we're not gonna tell you like, okay, do an

(09:01):
impression of another actor. We're gonna find a way that
because this is the big thing about acting. I think
so many people are just cast as a heightened version
of themselves, Like like a lot of acting seems to
be done in the casting right, Like like you'll watch
something you're like, you know, and this isn't even shade

(09:22):
to anyone. Some of our greatest actors are just kind
of themselves all the time. Denzel is just Denzel. Like
there's drug dealing Denzel, there's cop Denzel, there's time traveling Denzel.
But that's It's like I'm watching Denzel be a different
be in a different circumstance, but similar manner. Like every
every Denzel is. I was like, ha, ha, my man,

(09:44):
every Denzel. I watched Glad. I watched the news Gladiator
sequel and he was in Gladiator. Like, ha, my man.
Reading the newspaper, I said, you didn't cast you cast
the Denzel. And that's what comes with Denzel. So maybe
that is the secret. Maybe get cast more being the
Mike Kaplan that people already think of, but in this

(10:06):
role as Oh is Mike Caplan in a coffee shop
meeting a girl.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
You know, I'm optimistic.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
I think that you're one hundred percent right, and I
think there are different kinds of acting where like did
you see The Fighter with Christian Bale where he played
like a real life person, And then at the very
end of the movie, there was like a brief scene
from real life that they showed the real life person
that he and the other actor were portraying, and I'm like, oh,

(10:31):
he became that guy. Like there's a different kind of
acting where like you can disappear into a role like
character actors like Gary Oldman I see in different things,
or Vincentinofrio like they like are like Vincentinofrio and the
Kingpin are not identical, like he does different things in
different movies. But what you're saying, you know and not
this threat again no shade to anyway, like Jack Nicholson

(10:54):
in certain things, Robert de Niro in certain things, like
they've they've done.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
Their actors, they know how to act.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
But for me this was like kind of eye opening
and mind blowing that like I was like I don't
know how to act, and because I had an idea
of what acting was where and it's like acting you
know where you have to like do something right. But
the school the bat we took started taking. We took
level one and Level two, which was like ten classes
each earlier this year, Reeney and I together and it

(11:23):
was incredible and like I now know I'm not saying
like I'm the best at acting now, but I was
like I was at zero or negative I was doing
I was like working against myself and now I'm like, oh,
Like like Anthony Hopkins, he to act. He learns his
lines by reading them two hundred and fifty times and

(11:43):
he's like, I know them so well that then them
the magic can arise, like if you know the lines,
like the that's the way the the Barrow School acting
style is taught, is like just acting as doing acting
like literally actions like what would this character doing? They're drunk,
so they're kind of you know what, like trying to

(12:04):
not what do you do when you're drunk? You try
to not let people know that you're doing. Look, I'm
not I'm not drunk. Why would you why would you
say that?

Speaker 2 (12:12):
You know?

Speaker 4 (12:12):
And so uh yeah, it's just it was cool to discover.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Here's one final piece of it that was really cool
because one of the earlier things in my non acting,
non career that I didn't like was like going to
auditions when you're like, I don't want to memorize this thing.
To ride a train for an hour, sit in the
room for a half hour, do a thing for a minute, leave,
take a train for an hour home, Like what I

(12:38):
could just sit home and write and do my own thing.
But my one teacher was like, just see an audition
as another opportunity for acting. For the process of acting,
which includes like memorizing the lines, which I never did
in the past, and now I love memorizing lines, even
because the way they taught us, our first teacher taught
us to memorize lines was kind of counter intuitive, uh,

(13:01):
to the way I conceived of it previously, which is
they said, don't just if the line is like to
be or not to be, that is a question to be.
Don't just be like to be or not to be
that as a question to be or not to be?
That as a question to be or not to be. Like,
don't just carve a groove and do it one way,
because that will then get you into this pattern that
you're locked into and you won't be able to it'll
take hard work to pull yourself out of and do

(13:21):
it another way. So the way our teacher recommended was like,
when you're memorizing it, try to read the lines over
and over in different ways all the time. So I
do them like in different sing song voices. I do
in like impressions of other comedians I'd be like to
be or not to be, that is the question, you know,
And I would be in the shower just twenty minutes

(13:42):
at a time, just like jazz, improvising in my lines,
and it was It's so fun. So yeah, it is
a new, a new exciting thing.

Speaker 5 (13:52):
So I to Mike, has this improved your comedy? Because
you know, where you all stay stage, comedy is a
performance like he didn't.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
You didn't always really just break up with your girlfriend,
you know what I mean, like like that that could
have happened months ago. But but to be in the
moment on the stage and be able to tap into
something that's like that makes the audience feel like, oh,
this guy really just broke over his girlfriend on the
way over here and he just hopped on the stage.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yes, I think that intellectually and like philosophically, this has
helped in a way where like there's different stages of
the comedy, like when the comedy is like ready to
be recorded or you know, has been like curated over
the course of weeks, months, years, and it's this is
how it goes.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
Then yeah, there is an element to.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Like, oh, this is the costume that I'm putting on
I'm playing the part of me from a year ago
when I thought of this thing.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
But I also.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Always like to leave there, leave some room for improvisation,
for discovery in the moment. And that's the thing that
now can also be done in acting that I didn't
think could be done in acting proper, which is like
here's oh, here's a fun thing from one of our classes.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
There's a tool they would give us.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
These tools from this book by Seth Barrish, who helped
found the school, uh co founded it.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
He one of the tools.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Is pattern breaking, And so it was like if you're
I was doing a scene and I was taught, I
was like a hot a guy was high, and there
was a lady, a young lady who was drunk in
the scene, and we're just connecting or trying to connect,
and there's a line that I was saying it. Uh
So the pattern breaking is like, take it how you've

(15:35):
been saying it, and don't pause anywhere you've been pausing,
and do pause anywhere you weren't pausing, to just make
the pauses be different and see what happens. And so
there was a line where she said everyone hated me,
and I was saying, oh, you're not that hateable, and
that what I just did. Every time it's four words
you're not that hatable, Like how else could it be?

(15:55):
And then just break the pattern and I was like, oh,
you're not that hateable. And then it comes like, yeah,
it doesn't say like unless the director or the script
says specifically you emphasize this word or you pause here,
like it's all other than what's written.

Speaker 4 (16:13):
It's open to interpretation.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
You can perform it in any way, and so that
is something sometimes I get go like pendulum swing a
little too far in that direction with my comedy, where
I'll like say something away that.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
Works, and then I'll be like, what if I play
with it a little bit?

Speaker 1 (16:28):
And eventually it gets to a place where people are like,
what are you even saying? I'm like, I'm acting, you know,
and they're like, well, but what are you saying.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. I also do have
to communicate the idea.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Sometimes that's really like on the writing side of it,
having like written certain stuff for people to perform. Sometimes
that's where the gold is is them performing it and
not how you saw it, you know, because everyone brings
something to this collaborative art form, so like the actors
are bringing their bodies and as an instrument, and it
can be a pause. I'm in Uh, it works both

(17:02):
ways on game theory. One time I wrote a joke
where we were supposed to be coming out of a
video of this NBA star who was getting in a
lot of silly trouble, and the video had him playing
with the tiniest gun I've ever seen in my life
in a in a strip club and recording it himself,
and it's just like, whoa, Like, this guy want to

(17:23):
get in trouble? Like what there? Like there is no upside,
there was no reason for him to do this, and
he's gonna get in trouble for it. But coming out,
he's like holding the gun up and dancing to the
to the music, and then it the way the TV
show works, It comes right out of video back to
the host Bomoni Jones, and in the writer's room, I
was like, Hey, when we come out of there, you

(17:44):
should you should just go peo peo pew, like it's
a really little gun and they'll crack the audience up.
And then when he did it in the read like,
it cracked everyone up. Everybody was like ohh my god.
You know this is gonna kill when we get out there.
But then when we did it live, for some reason,
he just did it a different way, or he kind
of froze up and we had it's like, cut the joke.

(18:06):
It's not worth Like even my vision that work back
there is not working here, and it's not worth pushing
it to get it to work here because we're both
bringing something else. And then there's I'm sure there's plenty
of times he wanted to say something I wrote it
differently or whatever. So I'll have to say, like, when
you're the comedian, you are the writer and you are

(18:28):
the performer, and you can surprise yourself with that pause
and be like, huh, this joke is funny this way
that when I was writing this in my head, it wasn't.
It didn't work. But you had to give yourself the
permission to experiment on stage. And I feel like an
acting class would kind of give you that a little
bit more like no play with it, like this is

(18:48):
a good skill to have.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh yeah, I give myself permission to experiment on stage
and right here, look, I'm experimenting with this.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
But what are you gonna do if you get a
what are you gonna do if you get a roll
where they're like, this guy has eyebrows that are really
tightly cut, Like he has the neatest eyebrows in the world.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
You know, you know what's really funny is do you
guys know?

Speaker 2 (19:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
You know Matt McCarthy. I feel like he works with
Pete Holmes a lot. He's like a redheaded, super funny
comic and he has a beard, and he was the
like he got a part. I'm gonna spoil the ending
of the story. He got this part of Verizon Fio
Sky like for maybe some ten, ten, fifteen years ago,

(19:37):
he was in a lot of commercials for Verizon and
it was like a big deal, get buy a house.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
I don't even know.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
And my I under my understanding is that he before
he got the part, it was down to him and
one other person and they were like in the final interview,
the final audition, they go to him, so we were
gonna make our final decision. We just want to know
if we asked you to, would you shave your beard
for this role? And he said nah, And they're like,

(20:05):
all right, you're hired. I don't know, like that's the
secret answer. Like, I don't know why whoa but so
I said, I don't. I'm know Matt McCarthy. I would
trim the eyebrows. They'll grow back. Reenie will be okay,
I think you know. Depending obviously, I really want to
do the role. I am happy too, but that's the
only thing that would make me do it.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
I want it. Well, now let me ask you this.
It's been a month since the special came out. The
special was named Reenie, and it's about spoiler art Reenie. Yes,
your current girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
You can still watch. That's not everything. It's just an
hour of me saying yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
He just says over and over, are y'all still together?
Because that would be awkward if a month later is like,
actually this this we were wrong about the comedy special.
It didn't work out. Reenie.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Come over and say hi that we're still to Reenie
an oh no, she's out for the evening.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
You believe me?

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Right?

Speaker 2 (21:05):
Pretty good?

Speaker 4 (21:06):
Acting, pretty good?

Speaker 1 (21:07):
That's acting right there? The pause sold. Yes, we're getting
ready tomorrow. We were getting on. I mean, look, no
one ever knows. In Buddhism, they say like next breath,
not guaranteed, next lifetime guaranteed, you know, so who knows.
But up until now, as far as I know, what

(21:28):
happens in reading and Mike's life is doesn't stay there.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
We tell everybody about it. It's there, it's happening. I
love to see it. And like a long time ago
used to come on the show, you would talk about
polyamory and dating, you know, dating life and all that stuff,
and I feel like all of that was just a
precursor to to now. And so you were It's like
you were playing the field. You're playing a game. You're

(21:52):
playing any reening mining low maybe until you pick your one,
and then you were good to go at that. I
feel like that's that's what happened, and I'm happy for
you and I'm glad. But I will say you sound
as happy and convicted today as you did, then.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yes, he does, and I love that for you.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Like I feel like I was talking. I talked to
Keith Mallley and it's like he's like, how can this
guy be so sure? Both ways? It was like I
had a friend in high school who I still to
this day think told me the most profound thing about
love of all time. And when she told me, I
told her it was stupid, and I regret that I
said that because I just I didn't know what I
was talking about. But I asked her. She was this

(22:33):
guy that I thought I was a loser, and I
was like, do you love him? Because I was like, like,
before I say anything to like, what is it about
this guy? And she goes, I love him for what
I know love to be. And I was like, that
is the dumbest thing I heard in my life, And

(22:54):
now like, that is the truest thing I heard in
my life. Everybody, just in that moment you love the
person in the what you know of love and not
in that time.

Speaker 5 (23:03):
Yes, yeah, because love grows and evolves and changes as
you do.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, I just thought that was But yeah, I thought
it was stupid at the time. But no, really, yeah
I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Oh yeah, no, I it's you know, before I met Renie,
before you've had any experience, you know, before you've eaten
a Kiwi, before you've done a psychedelic, before you've heard
a certain song, like you have no idea what you're missing.
You have no idea, like nothing is absent from your
life experience. You know you can live to the fullest,

(23:35):
But I do think that the commonality between me before me,
when I was in open relationships, me, when I was
talking about open this a lot, when I was poly yammory,
I would yamor and I I think I was confident
that I've a joke that I tell sometimes is I'm
very confident right up until somebody says, are you sure that?

(23:56):
I'm like, no, who said anything? But I am, you know,
for better or for worse. And I'm aware of this.
But like I do have strong I fall in love quickly,
you know, when I've when I've been single, like I've
like this person, Like that was like an ongoing like
joke with my friends, Like I think I met the person,
you know, and it would just.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Be because I really love.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
I mean, I'm just very fortunate. I'm very grateful. I
And when may I think I've told you? I bet
I've told you about this this safe that I have
from childhood. That's like it's just oh cool. I have
this little safe. It's like you know, a child safe.
So it has a dial that has numbers. But you
know how most safes you're like you turn it left
right left or right left right. This one has one

(24:42):
number that's all you turn it to the correct number
once and you hit the button, you pull down the lever,
and it pops open a child's safe, right, So you
don't even need to know the number. If you know
it's a safe with one combination, you just hold down
the button right and they spin the dial, spin the
die well, and then it will pop open when you

(25:02):
get to the right place. And so I think about
that metaphorically with respect to I think they're myself, and
I think y'all selves, and I think there's a lot
of people that I meet in life, fellow artists, fellow
kind hearted, open, compassionate, loving people who are basically metaphorically
holding down the open button on your heart. And so

(25:24):
when you meet and the combination is another person who's
doing that. So when you two, you know, when I
meet you, when you meet someone, like I'm sure you
have these experiences where you meet somebody and you're just like, oh,
it feels like we could talk forever. It feels like
I could know you, like I feel like I already
do know you. It's because it's sort of like at
the beginning of Anna Karinina, they say, like happy families

(25:46):
are all happy in the same way, but unhappy families
are all unhappy in different ways, and so it's like
the closer to pure happiness love, Like the idea that
I think somebody Victor Hugo might have said that every
one has like the light of God inside of them
or some kind of you know, God's spirit there, and
when you fall in love with somebody, it basically renders

(26:08):
the part of them, the external part invisible. So it's
just like game recognized game, light recognized light, God recognize God.
And so I feel that way, you know, with respect
to anyone and anything that I love, Like the first
time I did mushrooms, the first time I did ayahuasca,
the first time I met, you know, an ex girlfriend,
the first time I met my friend Liz Glazer, who

(26:29):
I met ten years ago on a show, and I'm like,
we're gonna be friends for life. And now it's ten
years later and she's one of my dearest friends. And
so I do think that it's just you know, a
lot of the energy that I went into, like poly
romantic relationships in the past, now it's like poly platonic relationships.
Just that I'm like, I have to agree, I think
in my life, Yeah, I think, uh.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
I feel like all love flows from the same source
and it just like it might it might like be
defined differently, but like it doesn't make that love like
any less stronger, even though each relationship is different. And
I've always felt like that, like even like your friends
are relationships.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
They are like I think people don't understand that.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah, maybe it's America or something, but everything's so like
romanticized or sexualized people. But I'm like, no, it's that,
it's all relationships. Back in the day, I remember when
they used to be like the thing to say. Everyody
thought they were being so edgy to be like, hey man,
I just be having like fuck buddies or whatever, Like
you know what I'm saying. You ever tell your side

(27:33):
chick to do? And I was like, that's a relationship, Like, no,
we're not, We're not in a relationship. I was like, look,
it's not really like a thing. I'm not telling you
have to marry the person. I'm just saying, you're in
a relationship with your boss, you're in a relationship with
the taxi driver. Like all this shit with us bumping
into each other like emotional bumper cards, it just is

(27:54):
creating constant connections or whatever. It's not, you know, it's
it's more of a scientific term than like me trying
to like, you know, define it. Relating. Yes, I relate
to you. You.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
That is a relation, and that is the ship of
relation is what we're all sailing on here. And yeah,
I think I do think that I used to be
like I think that, you know, in our society, like
we think of friendships as lesser. But that's weird, like
because people are like, are we just friends?

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Right? Yes?

Speaker 1 (28:25):
Just the greatest connection kind of we're merely people who
love each other and are there for each other and
have each other's back and can call each other if
we have a lousy just friends like, oh no, I
got put in a friend zone.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
What if you have who have no friends? You ever
think about?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
I got upgraded from no friends?

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Oh my god, I love this zone.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
All my friends.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
Are Yes, Mike, I agree. Because when it comes to friendships,
let's say a friendship goes sour. People don't know how
to handle it sometimes and you have to go through
a morning of the friendship. You know, because it was
like you, like you say, it was a relationship, y'all
had like a connection, you had a bond so you

(29:09):
have to go through the process of that bond no
longer being there, and people only think about that as
like a sexual relationship, you know what I mean, like
a spouse or something like that. But sometimes your friends
are just as important as your spouse or your significant
other others because you need somebody to talk to and
communicate outside of your significant other, and sometimes people don't

(29:31):
understand that you need somebody else that you can talk to.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
I think also the Internet introduced us all to the
fact that like friendship relationships are also real relationships because
it also introduces all the ghosting as a concept, yes,
and ghosting like it hurts, well, you're like, I thought
that was my friend that I have not heard from
them in a while, and that but in order for
it to hurt, you have to admit there was something

(29:55):
there that was the bond feeling real.

Speaker 6 (29:58):
You know.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
So I think that's that's such an interesting perspective on it. Mike. Also,
I believe I was listening to you on Mary Hula
Hans show and either there it was Keith Keith Maley
Keith and a Girls show. But I think you talked
about how you had a religious experience after doing like psychedelics,
Like you felt like you were more the atheist before,

(30:21):
but after the psychedelics, you're like, there's something out there.
What was the psychedelic? Like, what's the god drug? What's
the one?

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, So I would say for me, there's two that
I've had experiences like that with the first one was
mushrooms psilocybin, and then the second one was ayahuasca. And
so it was like about ten years apart, starting like
when I was twenty five, I did mushrooms for the
first time, and I just had an understanding, like in

(30:52):
one way, nothing changed, you know, but I was able
to It's sort of like when when things are you know,
when you look at like the the cube where you
can't tell is that the way it's facing or is
that the way it's facing, Like if you just make
you know, if you draw a cube with squares and
connect the lines, it's like an optical illusion where you're like,
is it facing this way or that way? Or you know,

(31:12):
is it a duck or a rabbit, whatever your illusion
of choice. Like in the I think that before I
did mushrooms, I was looking at it one way. I'm like,
it's a duck, and then like when I did mushrooms,
it was like, or maybe it also could be a rabbit,
and they're like, oh, it is a rabbit. It's a rabbit.
And I wasn't wrong that it was a duck. It's
the same I'm looking at the same thing. I'm looking

(31:34):
at the same world, but like my eyes have changed,
my brain has changed, my insides have changed, my consciousness,
and so I felt like the language like when I
first did mushrooms, I feel like the language shifted where
I was like, oh, yeah, like we're all connected, which
is true, I mean scientifically as well. We all came
from like the same source. Our molecules are constantly shifting.

(31:57):
We're all made of the same stardust from you know,
you can do it with science, but it's simpler to me,
like we're all one nailed it and.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
Buddhist paradigm, like we're we're there.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
And before before I did uh psychedelics, before I did mushrooms,
the first time I ever tell you about there's a
book by a man named Raymond Smullian.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Uh. He wrote.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
He wrote a lot of books. One of them was
the first one I ever found, was called this book
needs no title.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, we talked about it special.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah, So that was the one that before before I'd
done Mushrooms, there was a story in it that talked
about like mysticism and enlightenment basically, and I was like,
I know those words, but I don't have I don't
know what they attached to. And then after I did Mushrooms,
I was like, Oh, they attached to anything, to everything,

(32:50):
to this experience of you know, of presence, of mindfulness,
of of being here and being aware and being like, oh,
like I'm I'm talking to you, I'm communing with you,
Like this is a relationship, This is a connection, This
is a communion of sorts, and it just like I guess,
gave me like a different perspective and I like started

(33:10):
using different language where like I don't claim to know,
you know, anything outside of my own experience. I don't
know what what dying specifically feels like. Though I hear
it's like what an ayahuasca trip is like, but I
haven't I've done anyasa.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
I heard it's like bombing on stage I heard of
It's like when that's what I've heard, that's the same thing,
just boom. The afterlife is walking out in shame. I
think it's I think it's interesting though, because I like
I've I would say, uh, I'm probably closer to like

(33:47):
maybe agnostic or something. But I feel like it's as
insane to think you know exactly what's gonna happen and
exactly why everything is happening as it is to just
be like, none of this is all of this is
just coincidence. Both sound crazy to me. Like sometimes I really, like,

(34:08):
as corny as it is, I really will be looking
at a fucking tree and be like, how the fuck,
Like so the tree does the pollen, but only the
bees can do the flowers. We wouldn't even eat if
the bees weren't here, like.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
If we couldn't breathe without the oxygen from the tree.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Like like I'm like, somebody's somewhere much smarter than me
even made this up or something, because it's just too
I play video games where I've had to like do
the sims or something, and I was like, to these
characters in this game, I'm basically their god. And if
I lived in this world, I'd be like, somebody's doing
these things. This stuff makes too much sense.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Things that Alan Watts said that you reminded me of
one is the idea that a carpenter can make Some
can make a chair out of a tree, you know,
but nobody makes wood, like nobody makes the tree. Like
the tree just is, you know, and then you can

(35:10):
make things out of it. That's like reality is like
we're not creating anything. We're just curating it and moving
it around and all that stuff. And the other thing
on the subject of like both being crazy, like the
idea to know one hundred percent that it is or
it isn't. That's the thing. It's the knowing one hundred percent.
That is the weird part. Alan Watson. There's a Buddhist

(35:32):
teacher who once was asked do you believe in God?
And he said if you do, I don't, and if
you don't, I do, And that I feel like is
a beautiful.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
That teacher was just a jerk.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
He was like, I.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Actually don't even work at this school. You just passing by,
Like I mean, everyone can be a teacher, you know,
They're like, are you a teacher if you're a student.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
I am not.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
But I think that for for real, Like I love
when people have strong opinions because then it really allows
me to you know, if somebody is like super loud,
then I'd be like, wow, that's really loud. I'm gonna
be aware of that and be a little quieter. But
if somebody's super quiet, like, oh, I'm gonna I'm not that,
you know, Like we all know ourselves in relation to

(36:23):
what's going on around us, to what other people are like.
And so I do feel like, you know, I used
to be like a super hardcore atheist and now that
kind of super hardcore atheist I had. I had one
on my podcast earlier today, a super funny comedian, but
who's just like science only, science only logic. Yes, there
are things we don't know, but that doesn't mean that

(36:46):
we can't know them. Doesn't mean that somebody doesn't know them.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
We might know them.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
We can know them, No need to bring anything outside.
Like he's like, yeah, it's weird. It's definitely weird.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Like that's a lot of faith you're putting in signs,
and I'm.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Just he believes that you that things can be figured out,
and things can be figured out, but everything eventually just
like surrender and be like, ah, that's that's fine.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
I feel like I live in a state of I
feel like I live in a state of I don't know,
could be like like like whatever. It's like I tell
my friends in basketball, we love we're big basketball fans here.
But in basketball there's always this debate who's the grails,
who's the goat? Who's the goat? Is it Lebron James
or is it Michael Jordan? Is it Lebron j It's

(37:34):
only those two, by the way, is it Lebron James?
Neither one of them have the most rings or whatever? Right,
But uh, I was I remember I was talking to
a friend Bomoni. He's super super Michael Joran's Michael Jordan
used to be it's Lebron James. Nice, it's Michael Jordan.
And uh, he like comes into the office. He shows

(37:55):
me a YouTube video of like all these Michael Jordan
highlights AND's like, look at that, look at that, because
we just look at you tube all day when we
weren't writing. And uh, he was like, I said, you
know something, my money, Who I think is the greatest
is honestly, whoever the person talking to me thinks is
the greatest in that moment, they can be the greatest.

(38:15):
I don't like I have my own opinion, but like
I can. If you come in my office and you're like,
it is Lebron James, We're gonna watch twenty highlights of Lebron.
I'm like, it's Lebron James. That's the greatest guy we've
ever seen. And if you come back later like it's
Michael Jordan, here's twenty highlights of Michael Jones. Like it
is Michael, that's the great No one's gonna be greater
than that? Can you be greater than that? Because it

(38:37):
don't really matter, because fucking.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
I have I have three three thoughts for you. Two
of them are jokes, and one of them is real.
And the jokes are real too, but uh, I'll.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Be guessing, you know which is where it's gonna be, like,
do all three? Karen, Karen, you guess you guess the
jokes and the truth.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Mike, Okay, So this is I actually haven't heard back
from either Lebron or Michael Jordan recently.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
They goatsted me.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
So that's true.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
That's one of the true ones. This is a thought
that I'm really excited to have had. Rod. You said that.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
You've been You're like, I don't know, I don't know,
you know, Yeah, and I think that.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
A lot of people.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
The way that I was before was like I needed
to know, and it was regimented, and there's people like
this is what it is, and it sounds almost painfully constricting,
like it's they're like, ow no, and they're like, I
don't know, I don't know. It's just it's very similar.
All you got to do is like relax little, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
And then on the subject of you know, who is
the greatest, it's like there is clearly no objective answer.
I mean, maybe it's not clear to some people, but
or maybe it's clear that some people are like it's
an objective answer, But in common I think it's so.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
Much clearer in art, where where art is at its core, not.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
A competition, But there are still people that are like
who's on your Mount Rushmore? Who are your greatest, who's
your top five, who's your top ten? And like everyone
can have a different one. You could have a different
one every day, every hour, every minute. You could have
your experience like with Lebron and Michael Jordan and be like, oh,
I'm watching Maria bamfor right now, she is the best.
I'm watching Reggie Watts right now, he is the best.
I'm watching a Parnan on Sarla she is the best.

(40:33):
I'm watching Sarah Stilverman, she is the best. And like
I like the phrasing like, there's no one better, Like
there's no one better than Maria Bamford at what she does.
There's no one better than Gary Goleman at what he does.
There's no one better than Mitch Hedberg at what he did,
There's no one better than Emo Phillips at what he does.
And truly it seems to me obviously in basketball, you

(40:55):
can tell that it's a game. There's a score, you
can but the artistry of it, which I think is
what's being compared, like the and the.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
More the more you love it, the more you realize
that those things are arbitrary too, Like wins and losses
are arbitrary because someone can twist an ankle, and now
your team doesn't have the second best player. And so
the thing we all thought we were witnessing, these two
teams at their best, are no longer at their best,

(41:27):
and people will leave that and go some people will
leave it and go, well, even with the second best
player being hurt, they lost and he's no longer the
best player in the world to me, and some people
will leave and go he didn't have a second best player.
How the fun is he supposed to do? It matterthew
the best in the world. So it's even that is arbitrary.
But I think a lot of stuff could be approached

(41:48):
a little less rigidly. I still I think a lot
of my political allyship stuff is more about me going
I don't know than it is me being like I
know for a fact, Like, uh, when something like the
first time I was introduced to the concept of trans
I don't know what it is to be trans. I'm

(42:09):
sounds like it could be a thing. And what do
we gotta do to make sure that your life is easy?

Speaker 7 (42:15):
Like?

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Why would I want to make your life harder?

Speaker 3 (42:18):
What?

Speaker 8 (42:18):
So?

Speaker 2 (42:18):
What people aren't supporting you? It's your body, it's your autonomy.
What are what are we doing?

Speaker 5 (42:23):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I I remember when I was growing up it was
people were like, the people aren't actually gay. I was like,
I don't know, but if they want to do it
in they're adults, I don't. I don't why would they
do Why would it matter to me if it was
real to them? Or not, but I and it's like, so,
you know people are gay. I don't know. I don't
know what the DNA. I'm not a scientist. I just

(42:45):
know that it's fucked up the ostracize somebody for being different. Karen,
I haven't forgotten. Did you pick Mike's two truths and
two jokes and the truth?

Speaker 3 (42:56):
I think the ghost was a joke okay?

Speaker 2 (43:00):
And that truths okay? Well it's two jut center truth.
So you clearly missed.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Oh I missed one?

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Who missed one? But they also in jest?

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah, I think they're all basically non binary. So any
guest you got was the right one?

Speaker 2 (43:16):
Who is the better one? Was it?

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Was it Karen for answering correctly or was it Rod
for pointing out that Karen didn't answer directly?

Speaker 4 (43:25):
We're both you know. There's this old joke.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
I don't know where it came from, but a judge
is in his courtroom and one lawyer makes a point,
and the judge says, you're right, and then the other
lawyer says, but what about this? And the judge says
you're right, and then somebody in the audience goes, Judge,
they can't both be right.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
And he goes, you're right, So.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Every everyone is right. I do appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
I mean, my goal is to tell the truth in
a fun way or or find find the truth in
fun things, or find the fun and true things.

Speaker 4 (44:01):
That's that's it, to do both of them.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Well, I want to move into some segments because when
we have you back more often we do, we can
do a little less of the interview. And even though
even though you know, I.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Love to talk to tell you so that is how
that's what my past month has been like.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
Now we can continue. Yeah, it's a little game. I
like to call where's Mike?

Speaker 3 (44:23):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (44:23):
And that's why he's dressed, Like where's Waldough? If you
look at how he's dressed, where's he.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
Just missing the hat?

Speaker 2 (44:29):
You just have to squint and like kind of focus
between both of us. That's him. That's where Mike right.
So I was gonna leave it up to you, Karen
for segments. Okay, we can do banter. We can do
because Mike can banter with the best of them. He
can hop in and figure it out. We can do
and we don't have to do along. We can do

(44:50):
one of each or whatever we can do. Course, uh,
we got guests the race, we got black capitalism. We
got white people news, which I mean, I'm not trying
to take you what to pick, but I mean I
love white people now do Yeah, black capitalism fucking with
black people.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
Because we can't we can benter any time.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Okay, So you want to do white people news, Well
let's pull up the white people news song, because I mean,
we can't do without the music. Uh, here we go.
Why oh, let's see what the white is hurt into. Guys.

(45:43):
All right, there's lots happening. George Clooney actor.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
I know who.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
That is correct.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
That's that dude that hunted Biden got beef with.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
That is also correct. That's also correct. George Clooney said
he is officially ending his policy or he's starting basically
starting a policy. He is starting a policy. He will
no longer be kissing girls in movies, so that era
is officially over. Huh, He's done. He says he's not

(46:17):
kissing girls and making romance films. He said, I've been
trying to go the route Paul Newman dead. Okay, well,
I'm not kissing a girl anymore. He recently revealed in
the article In an interview with The Daily Mail, noting
that it was a bit of a discussion in his house.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
Got cooties.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
He says, when I turned sixty, I had a conversation
with my wife. I said, look, I can still play
basketball with the boys. I play with the twenty five
year old guys. I can still hang them in shape.
But I'm twenty five and I'm eighty five years old.
It doesn't matter how many granole bars you eat. That's
a real number. So I guess he's saying, like, as
he's aging, regardless of how beautiful and attractor we all

(46:57):
think he is, he wants to move out of the
romantic leading man role. He said, I'm sixty three years old.
I'm not trying to compete with twenty five year old
leading men. That's not my job. I'm not doing romantic
films anymore.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
Uh you know, I mean, I understand what he's saying.
It's interesting because you can have a romance movie between
two people in their sixties or seventies or eighties, Like
I think it's good. Yeah for a sixty three year
old man kiss girls. Absolutely, stay away from girls and

(47:34):
call adult women women. But yeah, if you don't, if
you don't want to go for it. I also, did
you guys see his.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
New movie j Kelly?

Speaker 2 (47:43):
Not yet? Not yet? Is it good?

Speaker 1 (47:46):
I really, I really liked it. It's Reenie and I
watched it. Then I have a couple of really good
friends who are also like both men like either are
about to or just turn fifty, and they're like, you know,
it's about a man like you know later in his
life and career, and so perhaps it might resonate more,

(48:06):
you know.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
I can't can't speak it like.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
I'm forty seven. I don't think that's why I liked it,
but maybe who knows. But it's just afterwards I thought
about it a lot, like it is unlike a lot
of movies, like story structure wise, it like it's not
just purely I don't want to spoil too much, but
it's it made me like think about it, you know

(48:30):
how like certain great works of art, like literature like
will teach you how to read it because every writer
has a different style and you kind of have to
take a few pages or chapters to be like.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
What even is happening here?

Speaker 1 (48:42):
So I feel like the movie was like that, and
Clooney Clooney was great Adam Sandler was really great. Everyone
in it was great. Yeah, And did he kiss any
girls in the movie?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Maybe?

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Maybe I don't want to spoil anything, but it's I
think he's I'm I'm pro this is as far as
what is possible. When y'all bring up white people news,
I'm like, this is pretty good white people news.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
It's pretty good. I love White people News is such
a like beautiful segment because it is most of the time,
not all the time, but most of the time it's
a departure from the serious political, like racist stuff that
we talk about on the show. So I love white
people news because it's such a like breath of fresh
air and it's like, oh, this is what white people

(49:28):
are concerned with. Not the most important things in the world,
not the most but I need that fluff, you know.
And George Coloney is saying I'm no longer kissing girls?
Is that really worthy of a news article?

Speaker 5 (49:40):
Like?

Speaker 2 (49:40):
Is that breaking news?

Speaker 5 (49:42):
Was?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Was I walking in the park and I felt it
in the air and I stopped and I was like,
George Colooney's not kissing girls anymore? No, But I do
enjoy knowing something so trivial that means something to so
many people and good luck with him. I do feel
like he sounds a little arrogant because it feels like
what he's saying is something like, I could take these

(50:03):
twenty five year old guys jobs if I want it.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
I mean, yeah, I don't want to, no more than
Yalco had them the job.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
I decided that I would go ahead and let the
other handsome men have a few jobs. I'm gonna get
me I quit.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
It's like, I don't know, you guys watched Friends, but
there's like an episode where Chandler and Joey have like
a chicken and a duck as pets, and he goes
Joey is like, I've trained the duck and he's then
he goes like, just sit there and be white, Like, look,

(50:38):
if you just tell it to do what it's doing,
then absolutely, And so I think that's what George Clooney
might be doing with his career.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
You may be one hundred percent right.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
He's like, I'd like to have roles where I don't
compete with these twenty five year old men.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
For me, that's my jot, my preference. I really hate
to turn around. I have to tell Ryan Gosling. He
can't be kenned. I mean, come on, let them have
their turn.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
But also, uh, the to the point that it's not
like why is this news, It's like it's really interesting
in that it's not that interesting, but it's because of
how famous he is that no like to be to
be to get success as a comedian. Like maybe we
talked about this like on the Comedy Central roasts, you know,

(51:29):
like before Anthony Jesselneck or Nicki Glazer or Amy Schumer
were as like big as they became, they were like
newcomers to the world on those roasts, like there were
people would make jokes about them on the roast to
be like who are you and why are you even here?
And the answer was because we're funny. That's the only
reason we're here.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
You're only here.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
Because you're famous. We're only here because we're funny. But
so you if you're not famous, then you need to
be good. But if you are famous, then you don't
need to do anything. And it's news and people will
I love it and want to learn about it the.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
Best kind of news because like you know, they don't
have to be upset by this. No, No, George Clean
did this like, this isn't him telling like the America
like you're gonna have to get a new president. That
was scary. This is much better.

Speaker 3 (52:18):
I rather you do this. This is your lane.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Speaking of which you just brought up Amy Schumer, I did.
She made white people news this week. Okay.

Speaker 4 (52:27):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Her and her husband, Chris Fisher are divorcing after seven
years of marriage, and a statement they released called it
a cohesive split. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
I remember you telling you about this.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Yeah, I like, I feel like the new conscious uncompany conscious,
but let's update the firm where we were doing conscious uncouplings,
but now we got some new shit cohesive split. Don't
look up the definition. Okay, don't look up the definition
of both of those words because you will feel that
they are into medical.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
But the vibe.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
The concept, I think I understand it is like we
got together and decided to break up.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
It's I think that's a perfect way to put it.
And you know what, I really like this, like you know,
sort of euphemism escalator where it's like, yeah, it seems
like it means the thing that it meant before, like
you know, inamicable split was probably like the original one earlier,
But I like here's an analogy that I hope I

(53:32):
remember why I'm doing it at the end of it
after I start.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
But uh, you know, I feel like this.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Is the the lore of of comedy want like rise
to success. Where like when I was starting out, Dane
Cook blew up on MySpace, and then everyone else tried
to blow up on MySpace, but they couldn't because he
already did it. And now everyone's It's like when one
hundred years ago, like people were discovering, oh I got
an old Action Comics number one, Superman's first appearance.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Wow, you got that.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Then everyone's like, now I will save all of the
comics forever, and because of the supply and demand, that
doesn't happen again. Now everyone just has a bunch of
comics that aren't worth thousands and thousands of dollars or
whatever it is. And so Dane Cook figuring out how
to get big on MySpace was like doing a magic
spell that when after you try to do it, also

(54:22):
you're like, well somebody already used that one.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
We're like like, oh, I know what the winning this is.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Actually, I think the perfect analogy to I just discovered
the perfect analogy, and I'm going to record it for
myself on this as well, that Dane Cook succeeding on
MySpace and then everyone else trying to do it is
like Dane won the lottery of millions of dollars and
then everyone else was like, I'm going to buy a
ticket with the same number.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
And then but I already won that one.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
So with you and everyone else is now splitting whatever
that if he won fifty million dollars, now fifty million
people each won a dollar trying to do what he did.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
And then so we're like, but he did it on MySpace.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
Then you know, Rob Delaney does it on Twitter, and
Bo Burnham does it on YouTube, and Matt Riife does
it with crowd work videos on TikTok, and like everyone's like, oh,
do that one?

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Do that one?

Speaker 1 (55:13):
When the real kind of goes back to your what
are we teaching kids in school? Are we taking them
facts to memorize or manners of learning ways to do
it instead of just being like, do what that person did?

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Well?

Speaker 1 (55:26):
What they did was innovate, so you can't copy them innovating.
If you want to innovate like them, you have to innovate,
like you don't do it like them, do it like
you do you know that the childish Gambino lyric, don't
be mad because I'm.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Doing me better. Yes I love yes, so.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
That I feel like that the conscious uncompling, the new
the Amy Schumer. They're like, look, they did conscious uncoupling,
they did amicable splits. We're unique, individ like, yes, we're
human beings. We were in a relationship. Now we're in
a different kind of relationship, a separated relationship, a separate
relationship and not.

Speaker 4 (56:09):
But this is our own thing. So we're using our
own language, our new.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Magic spell that we are casting to demonstrate to people.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
They're like, love is that? Like it's like it, but
it's its own new thing, like you're it.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Because like how many ways are they to say? It
is essentially the same thing that other divorce couples went through.
Either it was a divorce where you guys were like,
I'm not gonna like publicly hate you and do all
this like dramatic stuff, or it's the one where you're like,
I am right, and if you are, you're probably not
releasing a statement of anything like not together. It's it's

(56:43):
like a fuck that person's statement. Right, So there you're
going through what everyone's going through. So yeah, changing the
words of and being like it's a cohesive split. I
was like, Oh, I see you ain't schumwros. Someone did
the research. They did a little something different on them
and shout out to her. In her statement, she said,
blah blah blah, Chris and I have made I'm not

(57:04):
making that up. That's what she wrote. Blah blah blah.
Chris and I have made the difficult decision to end
our marriage at to seven years. We love each other
very much and will continue to focus on raising our son.
We would appreciate people respecting our privacy at this time.
Blah blah blah. Not because I dropped some LB's and
thought I could bag of a basket s basket, and
not because he's hot, a hot James Beard winning chef

(57:29):
who can still pull some hot tail, amicable and all
that love and respect for family forever. There's nothing ugly.
It's a cohesive split. They've just been finalizing a few things,
said the pir exclusively told a source closer to the
para told people so that hilarious. Yeah, also like that
you can be famous enough to be like I need
a source to reach out to people to let them

(57:50):
know the deep the details on my divorce, Like, hey,
there are people are gonna run wild with this. Can
you reach out to people the magazine so they can
be people the people and like the people know it's
not it's not what the people think.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Yes, I like, you know the idea of unconscious or sorry,
it's conscious uncoupling that you know is being like conscious
as you uncouple. I feel like a lot of couples
are just like unconsciously coupling, you know what I mean,
They're just like, we're coupling.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
What are you talking about? I don't know, but don't
know what's going on.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
You just look, oh you're still here.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Like I like the consciousness, I like the cohesiveness. I
wish them well. I'm sorry for the difficulty, but that's man.
This is great.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
Great white white people News. They're gonna still be rich,
They're gonna raise their kids, they're gonna be fun, they're
gonna get no new tail. Everything's cool. Speaking of good
white people news, one of my patrons Saints with White
People News, Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
What happened? I tell you.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Taylor Swift's crew that worked on her tour, they broke
down in tears. Why what happened? As they found out
she was giving them one hundred and ninety seven million
dollars in bonuses for their work on the errors tour.

Speaker 5 (59:15):
They met child, her and Beyonce had stadiums rocking from
fucking coast to coast and them people was dedicated to that.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Yeah, she said they did such a good job. She's
given you know, obviously the split between everybody, but more
than one hundred and ninety seven million dollars in bonuses
to everyone working on the.

Speaker 5 (59:33):
Tour wonderful because they had to. You know, when you
when you touring like that, you have to do your family,
your friends, your loved ones, you missing.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
Events like like.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Like, you want to hear all the jobs that got bonuses.
This is because it's going to tell you how big
the tour is, Okay. Truck drivers, yeah, caterers, instrument texts,
the merch team, lighting, sound production staff and assistance, carpenters, dancers, banned, security, choreographer, pyrotechnics, riggers,

(01:00:05):
hair makeup, wardrobe. By the way, those are all separate
physical therapists and video team members.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:00:13):
Hair, God damn hair makeup and wardrobe. Literally they could
be the same but literally those are probably.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
Three different departments.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Yeah, let's ghost. I just looked up her net worth.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
An article from two days ago says that according to
Forbes's latest rankings, she is the world's richest female musician,
just surpassed Rihanna. She now has a net worth of
one point six billion. And I don't know is that
before or after she gave these bonuses, because that's going
to move that decimal plays to be one point four

(01:00:47):
or maybe it was one point eight.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
That is like, right, two.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Hundred million dollars is a lot of money. I mean,
obviously a billion a half dollars is more money, but
percentage wise, it's a pretty And.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
Like those online calculations are really more about evaluation, meaning
like she might not have one point six billion in
the bank, but all the stuff that she has or
you know, her companies, her towards her, the merch house,
her house. Right, So like a lot of times those
numbers aren't even accurate. But what it makes me think
about is how she's a billionaire and like is like

(01:01:24):
I earned this from work as opposed to stealing people's shit.
And then also I'm giving back the people who work
for me because and then some of my most powerful
figures in the government right now are people who are billionaires,
who are literally like, how can I keep people from
having money for their work? How do I stop the healthcare,
stop the benefits? And She's like, I don't have nearly

(01:01:47):
as much as these people, but I'm just here to
spread the joy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
Yeah, and I'm very I can imagine the excitement.

Speaker 5 (01:01:54):
Because all just working with her, for a lot of
those people are like life Chaine. Just to be able
to work in the tour and things like that, because
for some people like not tryn to find their whole
life worths of their career is kind of getting to
the point where you're able to do, like I said
Taylor Swift a Beyonce, I got a lady God God
Rihanna like one of their shows, like some of them,

(01:02:15):
that's their goal.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
And then you get it and you you do.

Speaker 5 (01:02:18):
Your job, you sacrifice, you know, depend on how long
they touring, right, and things like that. And sometimes I
look at these tours sometimes they doing like three in
four shows at different cities in like a week sometimes
and so you know, and stuff right, and then depend
on and that's just the US tour.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
And then you ain't talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
That overseas to my question that I would have had
if I was there, And I wonder who was the
first to ask it, because it'll feel like a downer.
But it's like after she says we're going, I'm giving
one hundred and ninety seven million, it's like, oh, yeah, who,
so how much is that per person? Are there?

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Did you see somebody posted online recently like they made
a mistake and it was a really funny mistake that
they're like, Elon Musk has like six hundred billion dollars now,
is like and they're like, that means that he could
give everyone on Earth a billion dollars and still have
five hundred something billion dollars left. No, he could give

(01:03:23):
he could give six hundred people a billion dollars, or
he could give everyone on Earth seventy five dollars, because
six hundred billion divided by eight billion is the same
as six hundred divided by eight But yeah, I mean,
I bet, I mean, how many people do you think
are working on that tour?

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
That's a right? Like I feel like my first thought
would be like, so hopefully there's one hundred and ninety
seven of us, right, because yeah, it's like no, actually,
there's a thousands of us that may just happen. It's like, okay,
what's my cut. It's like when you hear that thing
where it's like PayPal has a settlement settlement yeah, and
you're like, ooh, I got an email to say PayPal,
I owe me some money, and you click on it

(01:04:01):
and you're like, oh, come here, money, money, money. I
heard you're gonna pay us seventy five million dollars. It's
like seventy five million dollars divided about seventy five million people.
It's like, oh, it's a dollar, Well, thank you anyway
for the dollar, I'll spend it wisely. Thanks.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
I think uh if Ai is correct, which you know,
that's a big if it does say that it's over
one hundred people, but and it could be near two
hundred or three hundred, so that's still that's still good.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Yeah, oh absolutely no, it's I mean, if it's two hundred,
you get hellion, Mike. I worked that job. I worked
at jobs where you don't get a bonus and I
I have to And like, I'm sure those people didn't
go to work expecting like, yeah, we're gonna get you know,
it's like I'm being well fairly compensated to do the
job that I do. So like, this is a dope

(01:04:55):
thing that she did. Let's see what other white oh yeah,
doing to her. Let's see how about you know, let's
keep it on divorce. Okay, let's go back to divorce.
Gwynn Stepani and Blake Shelton, we're seen out shopping together

(01:05:17):
despite the divorce rumors.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
They were able to steal shop at the same time
in the same location even though there were rumors cohesive
And I love these articles because all that's really happening
is that the people that are pop RISI just stake

(01:05:41):
out of place and they just get a picture of
two people together and they're like, this is an article now,
like y'all were shopping together. What is going on over there?

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
They got five hundred words to right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
They said, they're shutting down the rumor maal without saying
a word, stepping out for grocery the rumor mill. We
started stepping out for a grocery run and look at
totally at ease together despite a wave of divorced rumors online.
The two are photographed Tuesday in Los Angeles while shopping
at the upscale Italian market Italy. Oh my, that's beautiful Italy.

(01:06:17):
Have you thought they got one in New York? Also? Yeah,
oh man, I need you to be on top of it.
That sounds expensive. It's in the punk lane. It's in
an upscale market.

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Laneeah. It sounds like when you walk in there, they go,
you broke, you broke? I go, you know what you're right?

Speaker 4 (01:06:32):
Let me turn on around Italy.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Italy sounds like a place where they have the uh
groceries wrapped in impractical quantities like a slice of bread,
you know what I mean. Yeah, we're like, oh man,
I shouldn't. I can't afford to eat here. If I
want to get gold and goat chips, got flakes, I
want to get enough for a sandwich that's twelve dollars, right,

(01:06:58):
you know? I agree?

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
And uh Also on the on the paparazzi tip, like
number one, where's the mamarazzi?

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Why is he papas?

Speaker 4 (01:07:06):
But I saw a thing, do you guys remember?

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
I feel like it was like US Weekly or something
some magazine like that where there was like a celebrity
spottings page, and you know, the stars they're just like
us mate, So that kind of thing. And I remember
one where there was somebody had taken a photo of
it was like a porta potty and like that. Then
there was another paparazzo taking a picture. So this one

(01:07:31):
peron was like meta, this one person was like capturing.
They were like they were like, look at this. The
paparazzi won't even leave you alone when you're using the
porta potty. And I was like, yeah, you're also like
they're like, look at us reporting on the person who's uh,
not respecting this person's privacy, doing good work here.

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
I like the idea of the mamarazzi. And it's just
like women telling people like did you eat today? Yeah, hey, hey,
hey keep us did you eat today? Are you are
you coming over for Thanksgiving? Are you? Are you going
to bring the family the kids over? I want to
see the grand baby.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
He's looking he's looking a little a little light. He's
looking a little light. He's looking where this one's looking
a little too generous. My my grandmother, my dad's mother.
I remember when I was young and she was alive,
like she would be like, Mike, you're not eating enough,
And to my dad's be like and you're eating too much. Yeah,
like yeah, I was like, we're trying to we're trying

(01:08:31):
to meet Where do you want to say?

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
There's no right answer. There's no right answer, no, never
right answer. I'm just here to tell you what you're
not doing. Whatever you're doing, is wrong because I love you,
all right, if like, if you do, I don't, If
you don't I do, yes, right, exactly exactly. I think
we should get into a different segment. Uh Now, Mike's

(01:08:52):
never been on for this segment before, but there's a
segment we call gender wars, which I'll explain to you.
Will come back after this song.

Speaker 6 (01:09:03):
We are going on out, sod went on.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Outside, all right. Gender wars is when we find different,
uh like posts from social media and stuff where people
are arguing over these sometimes made up scenario, sometimes real whatever,
and it's normally something that pits men against women. Okay,

(01:09:38):
now we judge them from zero to ten, but not
on whose side we are not if the man's right,
the woman's Like, just is this content good enough to
get people arguing yes? Like is this like? How well
did they do it? Was it believable enough that the
people in the comments are like, I think men are
dumb or I think women are stupid. That's we're here

(01:10:00):
to judge. And today's contestant is just a woman in
a car. Okay, she's just a woman in a car
filming herself on a video, and the caption says, on
this tweet, woman goes off on black men after being
unable to get fifteen hundred dollars and money in general
from them, saying I'm so over dating black men, leaving

(01:10:24):
that in twenty twenty five, I emoji hmmm smiley and
then money bag emoji. Okay, now to see the video
where in the bottom of the caption that says leaving
dating black men at twenty twenty five. So I feel
like she she started with a thesis. She said, I'm

(01:10:44):
targeting this audience. Let's get the Let's see what what
she got here.

Speaker 7 (01:10:48):
Okay, I'm so overdating.

Speaker 9 (01:10:52):
And just dating black men, like I'm over it, Like
black men just.

Speaker 7 (01:10:57):
Can't get my sign no more.

Speaker 9 (01:10:59):
I'm a naven black man in my whole life, and honestly,
it has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Abuf fucked like it
is just bs. I'm so over y'all. I started dating Asian.

Speaker 7 (01:11:09):
Man out of nowhere. I literally was saying Asian man
for a whole week.

Speaker 9 (01:11:14):
We went on dates, straight recording gentleman, just everything older established,
like these black men be on the internetflex and like
they got it so good.

Speaker 7 (01:11:27):
They got it.

Speaker 5 (01:11:28):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
I have to stop right there to say I like
that she threw an Asian man in the most backhanded
compliment way, because even they would probably be like upset, like, hey,
what the fuck does that mean? Like, guys, I went
to the bottom of the barrel okay and music, Yes,

(01:11:49):
this music is great.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
That's going on behind It is so incongruous with what
were It's just like a beautiful tragic Like it's like
in the movie where like you're saying goodbye to or right,
but she's.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
Saying good night to all black men. So she's like, listen,
you guys need to hear this sad music so you'll
get through your sticks. Oh oh yeah, I feel like
she's breaking up with me. I didn't even go out
with her. It's crazy.

Speaker 7 (01:12:15):
They got it. They really got it.

Speaker 9 (01:12:17):
The moment you ask them for some money, it's a problem.
I ah this ah that, Like, why are you out
here flexing but you can't even you can't even get
me fifteen hundred off the rip when I ask you, Oh, mab,
can I have fifty hundred?

Speaker 7 (01:12:33):
Oh oh oh it's excuse. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm gonna
send it soon. Oh yeah, I got you. Never sends it. Then,
oh something.

Speaker 9 (01:12:41):
Came up and blah blah blah, like what I can't
ask you for fifty hundred. Maybe my two car seats
in the back together are over one thousand dollars.

Speaker 7 (01:12:50):
I can't ask you for fifty hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
Oh so she just said two car seats in the back,
So that means she got at least two kids that
are young enough to have to be in car seats.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
And I mean, I'm glad that she explained a little
bit at the end, because up until that last moment
when she mentioned the car seats, she's like it's like,
you can't even just ask a black man that you're
dating for fifteen hundred dollars and he gives it to
you like you're supposed to. Like every white man I've
ever dated just will give me the fifteen like no complaint,

(01:13:21):
Like it's such an a normal thing to be like
rhy when you're in a relationship and your boyfriend just
won't turn over the fifteen hundred.

Speaker 4 (01:13:29):
Dollars the store, Like, what is that, lady wheel breaker?

Speaker 7 (01:13:34):
Oh? What am I going to do with you? Pass
me the CEOs, Pass me the men who want.

Speaker 9 (01:13:41):
To have a wife and children and a home, like,
not all this flexen in the club every weekend.

Speaker 7 (01:13:47):
Not all this bs.

Speaker 9 (01:13:48):
I'm so good, I'm so good, I'm so over it, Like,
please keep it over there and stop approaching me.

Speaker 7 (01:13:53):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
All right? So that was her video. Now I will
look at the conn because I like to look at
the comments to see if it resonated.

Speaker 3 (01:14:02):
I know she got a lot of comments.

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
What has three point two thousand replies and a bunch
of quote tweets. The first one is an anime screenshot
that says, so get a job because fifte.

Speaker 5 (01:14:17):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
This is another lot of memes. This is Scooby Doode
and Shaggy. Shaggy says what do you miss And Scooby,
apparently who has been going to a dialect coach or
speech therapist, says, I missed the way I viewed the
world before I knew too much about it. Good yeah,
good for Scooby. Okay, you got you got rid of

(01:14:39):
that speech impediment. Man probably took a lot of work.
What do you miss? Okay, so wait now we're doing
it with Snoopy and and Charlie Brown a thing. Why
is it Snoopy going walgh? No, that's that's the parents,
Karen Snoopy goes ah and it just is up Anyway,

(01:15:02):
I've watched I read too many of these when I
was a kid. I'm bad whatever, so lots of memes
I require context. It's kind of weird that the context
means are the weirdest ones because I feel like the
context is in the video. It's not really like a thing.
Imagine not making your own bread to take care of
yourself In Big twenty twenty five, Go Work says, So

(01:15:24):
it looks like the men are the ones who took
the bait to be upset. Begging is in our all
time high. Stay over there, it ain't happening. Here's a
picture of a white lady, but I don't think it's
a white lady. It says five hundred dollars a piece
on car seats is crazy? Who paid for them teeth
to get fixed? Though?

Speaker 3 (01:15:43):
What that came out to? Blue?

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
So those are the comments, guys, Karen Zero to ten.
What would you give this on the gender war scale
for just how good it was at getting controversial causing controversy.

Speaker 5 (01:15:58):
I'm gonna get this about truthfully, I'm gonna give it
about a five and like a five or six. And
the biggest reason why I like the music, I like
her tone. She didn't because sometimes when people do this,
they get too wording. Sometimes they get off topic, like
particularly when they when they when they buy themselves they

(01:16:18):
were you know, they get on tangents, which is easy.

Speaker 3 (01:16:24):
I'm going to.

Speaker 5 (01:16:26):
Take away my my, I mean, I'm going to uh
take away points for the fact that it would have
been better.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
It would have been better.

Speaker 5 (01:16:38):
If she would have I don't want to say went harder,
but like, if you want both sides, you need to
also throw a pick me kind of in there somewhere,
like like if you, if you if we're trying to
get women and men to comment.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
Right, like what she said will obviously make men mad,
but it'sn't. There's I feel like the numbers and stuff
she were so impractical that there's not gonna be women
who are like I relate to this experience, and I
would like to argue with the men who are arguing
with you. I feel like women are mostly like what
who the fuck is giving people fifteen hundred dollars at

(01:17:14):
their week of dating. Nobody's doing that, right, So I
can't relate to you. So I can't really be I
can't do my part in contributing to the chaos of
this internet video. Is that what you're saying? Yes? Okay,
so five out of ten for you.

Speaker 5 (01:17:30):
Yeah, because like I think that there was things that
she could have did to kind of improve it, maybe
instead of instead of a soft tone or stronger tone,
to kind of be more assertive, to kind of be
almost more demanding, like I deserve this money type of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:17:49):
I know you're big on attitude and presentation.

Speaker 3 (01:17:52):
Yes, energy, Yes, what about.

Speaker 2 (01:17:54):
You, Mike? Zero to ten for you know how good
this video is at stirring up the old men, bad women,
bad or whatever arguments. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
I was gonna say originally like a seven ish, but
I've been convinced by Karen's point because it can't be
that inflammatory. It's just confusing, Like nobody, nobody could take
it seriously, Like if she if she had said, like
if there was greater context of like they won't even
give you fifteen hundred dollars when you lent them fifteen

(01:18:26):
hundred dollars when you get them dollars last week. I'm like,
can I get that fifteen hundred back?

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
Can?

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
I like, like, I don't, And I don't even feel
like this is a thing like she talks about she's
saying black men, but it's not Yes, this isn't a
stereotype about no one will just give you fifteen hundred dollars.
Like I'm not. I'm not mad at her in a
gendered way matter. I'm just like I'm curious. I'm like,

(01:18:52):
you know, abbergasted.

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
I want to go to her page. I want to
go to her page and it's just this video. But
every time she changes to a different group, like and
I'm upset because white women won't give me fifteen hundred dollars.
I hate when I'm friends with a white lady and
I'm like, so you got money for pumpkin spines, but
not enough money for my rent.

Speaker 5 (01:19:13):
You know what Mike and I do agree is one
of things like if she'd have came in like I'm
a boss, you know, and like I got it, you
should have it too.

Speaker 2 (01:19:22):
So when I ask you for it, but like I
don't really need it. Yes, I'm so I give it, man,
I want to give it higher than y'all. I think
I'll go ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:19:32):
I'd say it five now, just because I do think
like Karen's right, like no one's gonna jump in on
the side to defend her, like maybe a few, but hardly,
and on the men's side, like at best. And so
that's like fifty fifth. If you get all the men
and none of the women, that's like half a war.

Speaker 2 (01:19:50):
That's five.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
So I think it could be I could go even lower,
but i'd say, you know, like.

Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
I wanted to give it higher because she made some good,
com needed stylistic choices that I thought were like, Wow,
this is good like content, like the setup of it
because it's so ridiculous. But she's saying it's so straight ridiculous,
and there's little stuff in there that I know is
designed to trigger men. But it's but as you both

(01:20:18):
pointed out so astutey, it's only men that it's designed
to make angry and.

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
Need both sides.

Speaker 2 (01:20:25):
And yeah, and the men that were replying weren't even
picking up the stuff I was saying, Well, one person did.
They said the baby seat cost was ridiculous, but also
you have two babies, like like, that's the thing. Man,
get mad about it, like you already got two babies
and that is and you you're asking me for money
and no one took the bait.

Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
Talk to them, yes, the men who are responsible for
these two.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
So the fact that the fact that no one took
the bait makes me feel like her delivery wasn't good
enough because normally when we do gender wars, the people
get so angry that everything is litigated, like, well, what
kind of car is that? A Nissan Central Bitch, that's
not fifteen hundred dollars right now, you know, like, and
none of that happened in the the looks.

Speaker 3 (01:21:11):
I mean, somebody talked about teeth whatever, But I.

Speaker 2 (01:21:14):
Mean, but no, that's because she out in Vizilan.

Speaker 5 (01:21:16):
Okay, Yeah, they would have been more aggressive, like you
want me to pay this money.

Speaker 3 (01:21:21):
The way you look blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 5 (01:21:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
Yeah, sadly, I have to agree with you, guys. I
really I think I like Mike I started high. I
was like, oh, I like the music in the background
because I was like, oh, this is gonna make the
men so mad. But then I was like, that's not
the game. The game isn't. Can you make one side mad?
That's easiest. Hell, you gotta find a way to find that.
Next is in the middle where everyone's a little bit

(01:21:45):
mad at everybody and the women are not in the
comments doing anything that you know, And sometimes it works
because I mean it works, it doesn't work because the
women are also equally as like this is stupid. Yes,
so that then that's like, that's also a low score.
So I agree with you, guys, five out of five
out of ten. Let's do one more thing. Let's do

(01:22:07):
some sword ratchiness. Guys, it's been a while since we
did some sword ratching or actually, you know what, No,
let's do something something else, guys, let's do it. Welcome
to the cookout. All right, it's been a while since
we invited some white people to the cookout. I'll explain
it after after this song comes up. Well, why can't

(01:22:27):
I find my cookout song? Why am I drawing a Oh?
I should just search for it? That might that will help. Yep,
here we go.

Speaker 8 (01:22:54):
Welcome to the cookout. Welcome to it theout, Welcome to
the cookout, Welcome to the cookout.

Speaker 2 (01:23:09):
That's right. It's the segment where we look around at
the white folks and the allies and we say, you
know how people online keep telling you there's no cookout,
or if there is a cookout, black people are having it.
We're not inviting any white people. Well, that's a goddamn lie.
Every cookout I've ever been to, there's been some white
people at it. I don't know who brought them, but

(01:23:31):
they was there.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
Nope, don't know who bought them, but they was there.

Speaker 2 (01:23:34):
So this is the segment where we're at the blackout.
Tips give a shout out to the white folks that
do the most or the least, is really any amount
of trying to do something nice, We give them a
shout out. Okay, we know it's hard out there to
get to the cookout. So let's see who's being invited
to the cookout today. Billionaire Michael Bloomberg.

Speaker 3 (01:24:01):
Okay, yeah, that's rich man.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
He ran for president once. I remember he is creating
a charter school to HBCU pipeline for black students. Let's go.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
He's been about that life though.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
Bike of Bloomberg, who donated six hundred million dollars in
twenty twenty four to support medical schools at four historically
black colleges and universities. Has a new plan to back
black education funding k through twelve charter schools on HBCU campuses.

Speaker 3 (01:24:32):
Own the campuses.

Speaker 8 (01:24:32):
That's cold.

Speaker 5 (01:24:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
He announced, through the Bloomberg Philanthropies and educational nonprofit City Fund,
a twenty million dollar initiative to fund two schools in Alabama,
one is still in college and one at Tuskegee University
that were creating were right, Like, honestly, he knows ball
because almost all the white people pick Howard.

Speaker 5 (01:24:56):
Yes they do, and they ain't nothing wrong with that,
but that ain't onbc You y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
They're like, I want to do something to help HBCUs.
Google Google Howard. Okay, that's that sounds right. So whenever
they go in the bag and be like steal mean,
I'm like, I don't even know Stellman College. That's Mike
was doing some research. So he's created direct pipelines to
promote career success. The funds will go toward the DC

(01:25:21):
Wolf Charter School in Shorter, Alabama, which is being converted
from DC Wolf Elementary School and expected to open their
Tuskegee University and to follow twenty twenty six and the
Idream Big Academy on Steelman's campus, which recently opened at
the first HBCU charter school partnership in Alabama. So students
that can attend will be able to take dual enrollment

(01:25:41):
courses at the universities and participate in community internships. So, yeah,
welcome to the cookout. Michael Bloomberg. That's nice of you.

Speaker 5 (01:25:51):
I appreciate that, because the thing is all HBCUs need help.
But yeah, most of the time when they when they
do it, they don't really go to some of the
middle to smaller universities.

Speaker 2 (01:26:02):
Yeah, I'm with it. So Michael Bloomberg, donate to the
school and we'll have the kids show up at the cookout.
Maybe they'll sing your song or though, you know, maybe
we can get a little scrimmage gill at the basketball court.
You know we maybe maybe we named the basketball court
after Michael Bloomberg for those billions of dollars. You can
sit next to Mackenzie Scott Bezos and.

Speaker 3 (01:26:22):
You can tell who's who's being lazy. Who just googles?

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
Yeah, nah, that was dope. I just to google.

Speaker 1 (01:26:29):
His net worth is over one hundred billion dollars, So yeah,
he can.

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
He got it. It's good.

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
There's a lot of people who have it that aren't
doing it. So when you got.

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
It, He's no Taylor Swift. Proportionally, he's no Taylor Swift,
but he's But I appreciate that he's doing something. There's
a lot of a lot of billionaires that just take
mean girl Star refuses to apologize for Charlie Kirk death threats,
got me death comments. I'm sorry. Amanda Seafree has refused

(01:27:01):
to back down on labeling right wing activist Charlie Kirk
hateful shortly after his murder. She's forty, she commented on
the Instagram post at the Kirk was shot dead during
the college speaking tour on September tenth. The post highlighted
Kirk's controversial statements about black people, abortion, and immigration. He
was hateful, she posted from her verified Instagram and replied

(01:27:21):
to a post about his beliefs. She also shared a
post that connect the Kirk's comments supporting gun rights and
his assassination. You can't invite violence to the dinner table.
Be shocked when the stars eating. Goddamn she militant. Yeah,
she meant that she don't play. She don't play that shit.
God damn.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
Sit about that life he did.

Speaker 2 (01:27:45):
He was very pro gun.

Speaker 1 (01:27:48):
Yeah, like if he was not the victim of the
violence that claimed his life, we can only I mean,
you don't have to imagine the right things that he
would have said, because there's record of him saying very
pro gun things in the wake of gun death tragedies

(01:28:09):
before he died. So it's I mean, I understand, like
not you know, if you don't want to talk about
it right away, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:28:20):
I under I get.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
Like I thought it was pretty classy, like what the
thing that Jimmy Kimmel said, like right after he died,
that the that then later he said other things that
were reasonable. They got blown out of proportion, but like
he said, like things that were measured and kind he
like Rob Reiner said, things that were measured and kind.
Like as much as they don't like the authoritarian government

(01:28:43):
that is, you know, implementing policies and taking away policies
that are causing people around the country and the world
to lose access to healthcare or cheap healthcare and other
necessary resources, but that when a person dies, like you know,
there's people are like Yeah, it's sad when a person

(01:29:04):
gets killed by a gun, Yeah, regardless of who the
person is. And also Amanda Seyfried like she's correct to
like it's true that he was super pro gun and
he got killed by a gun, and that fact seems relevant.

Speaker 5 (01:29:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:29:23):
And I think also in the wake of that, it
was during this like reclamation of his image, like this
like rebranding of like, no, he was just a super
Christian guy. It's like, that's not why he's famous, that's
not why he's going to campuses. Not going to campuses
to spread that type of gospel. We have so many

(01:29:44):
videos of him dunking on you know, the groups of
teenagers and college students that are like, oh you trans well,
I have a mean thing to say about that, and
then posting it on his YouTube. So even the idea
of like he was just about thoughtful to it's like
I've seen the YouTube captions on his videos. They're not
about thoughtful debate. Thoughtful debate is like, hmm, you've given

(01:30:07):
me something considered that the captions like I slammed down
on this young dummy, Like okay, you got them.

Speaker 1 (01:30:15):
I'd like to thoughtfully debate the concept that what he
does is exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:30:21):
So this is why promoted her new movie, The Testament
of Ann Lee. And so someone was like, hey, do
you want to walk back that hateful comment despite the
back you know you're getting backlash from Kirk supporters, and
she says, I'm not fucking apologizing for that. I mean,
for fuck's sake, I'm commenting on one thing. I said
something that was based on actual reality and actual footage

(01:30:43):
and actual quotes. What I said was pretty damn factual,
and I'm free to have an opinion. Of course. She
also displayed gratitude for being able to give her quote
unquote hateful comment more context on Instagram at the time. Uh,
she said, we for we're forgetting the nuance of humanity.
I can get angry about the misogyny and racist rider
can also very much agree that his murder was absolutely disturbing,

(01:31:05):
a deplorable and everywhere imagine right, no one should have
to experience this level of violence. This country is grieving
too many senseless and violent deaths and shootings. Can we
agree on that at least, right?

Speaker 5 (01:31:17):
And and people that act like it's one thing or nothing,
and it's like, no, y'all not going to turn around
and erase hist life just because he died and act
like the shit.

Speaker 3 (01:31:26):
He did when he was living just didn't exist because
he died.

Speaker 2 (01:31:29):
Well A Manda Sea Free, Welcome to the cookout. We're
gonna put you over by security. We make sure no
guns get in. We know that you're passionate about that
and we don't want no violence at the cookout. So
thank you, Amanda Sea Freed uh, and we'll see you there.
Don't worry. We'll bring the food.

Speaker 3 (01:31:45):
Shout out for you for saying it with your chest too.

Speaker 7 (01:31:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:31:48):
A lot of times people back down when they get
asked those questions.

Speaker 2 (01:31:51):
And the contacts she provided was like nuanced and like real.
It wasn't like just oh god, you hear you guys
go being sensitive every where, you know, whatever bullshit people
say these days. If I offended someone, then I guess
I'm sorry. It's like, no, what I said I meant.
And also I can hold two ideas at once, which
is and that was the thing I was saying when
they were getting people fired that were like liberal and

(01:32:13):
being like, man, this Charlie kirkshit. You guys are like
lying about who he was. I was like, but if
those people had their way, he'd be alive. Like everyone
that you're mad at, if you let them be in
charge of the government. No one's getting an AK forty
seven or AR fifteen. No one's shooting someone in public
because all those people are pro don't shoot people. He's

(01:32:36):
the only one who's pro like, sometimes people gotta die
so we can have guns, like a lot of us
are like, I don't accept that as a premise. I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:32:45):
I'm sorry to tell you.

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
The hateful man's death was sad. That's the truth. That
is true, and hate anger is just sadness with nowhere
to go.

Speaker 8 (01:32:56):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:32:56):
Yes, Mike, it's always great to see you.

Speaker 3 (01:33:00):
Man, it is.

Speaker 2 (01:33:01):
We did it. We did it. You said come back,
I said please come back. You came back. We're still friends.
We're going into the new year. You're about to hit
the road. Tell the people where to find you so
they can see your brilliant stand up and they can
see if Rennie is real, Like if this was a
real person.

Speaker 1 (01:33:21):
Yeah, absolutely, she is a hologram that is made of
light and beauty.

Speaker 4 (01:33:29):
But yeah, I mean it'll it's just like regular person.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
But I'll tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:33:34):
You can see me at Duckworth and Charlotte in Yeah roll,
I'll be there, and uh before that, I'll be in
d C.

Speaker 2 (01:33:43):
I'll be in a few other places. You know.

Speaker 1 (01:33:45):
My website Mike Kaplan dot com, m y q k
A p l a n dot com or punch up
dot live slash Mike Kaplan. My dates are on there
as well. Uh, the special Reenie is on YouTube. Also
my dry bar special is on there, and Small Door
and Handsome I originally on Netflix, then on Amazon where
it still is but is now also you can watch

(01:34:08):
on YouTube for free, I think with ads, so everything
all my specials are basically on YouTube, and all my
albums are streaming all the places. And you can also
get my newsletter at Mike Kaplan dot substack dot com.
I send one out for free every week and then
you can subscribe for more. But yeah, if you just
put at Mike Kaplan wherever you'd like it. That's all

(01:34:29):
my social media. That's everything I post videos and pictures
and everything that is required of me as a participant
in comedian society. But yeah, thank you so much for
having me.

Speaker 2 (01:34:43):
No doubt, right, And he's always he's always on social media,
making like funny jokes and puns and stuff. Sometimes I'll
just log into like I think it's Threads. It might
be Blue Skott. It's one of the ones that I
don't use that often, but when I go there, the
algorithm to give me all the MIC's. I love it.

(01:35:03):
I'm Mike. I appreciate you, man. So I'm glad you're here,
and we'll be back for our premium people. Will be
back tomorrow for a sports show. God willing I figure
out how to email all you guys with all the
stuff happening at the website, so let's let's hear our
fingers crossed and hope that that happens tomorrow, and if not,

(01:35:26):
we'll definitely see you Saturday for just a regular feedback show.
So yeah, and happy holidays, do you, Mike. Happy New Year?

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
If we don't see you before the new year, yes,
and definitely in the new year. Twelve times in twenty
twenty six.

Speaker 2 (01:35:43):
Let's go all right until next time. I love you,
n

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