Chelsea Handler

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob Left Projects.
My guestimator is Chelsea's member, who has a new special
on HBO matic evolution. Chelsea. Good to have you, Hi,

(00:21):
get to see you. How are you? I'm okay, okay.
In the special, you essentially say that the election of
Trump drove you to therapy. So I must ask you
post election, where are you at intellectually and emotionally relative
to who got elected, the temperature of the country, etcetera. Um,
pretty much, I'm I'm ready to celebrate. I'm gonna go

(00:42):
skiing for about three months straight to celebrate this victory
by Biden, and if we win the Georgia Senate race,
I might go skiing for six months straight. I just
have to find extra snow. Wait, wait, let's switch gears completely,
because that one of the reasons I wanted to talk
to you is I'm a really big skier and I
know you're a skier, So have funny, are you literally
booked for three months? Well? I bought a house in Whistler, Canada,

(01:06):
uh this year before, well before the election, just in
case the worst happened, and I bought it out of
fear and I was planning on going there for all
of ski season, but then you know, we're not allowed
into Canada because of COVID, So I am trying to
figure out how to get their work wise to film

(01:27):
something there so that I can spend three months in
a less COVID rampant ski area, which is Whistler. Have
you spent a lot of time in Whistler. Yeah? I
go there every year for my for Christmas with my family,
and then I usually go for my birthday. Well, which
is what time of year, February. Well, I will tell
you I've been to Whistler many times and I only

(01:49):
hit it right once, which was two years ago. Because
the altitude is so low at the bottom. I've been
there when it's rained, and I've been there when it's
rained the whole time i've been there. Oh yeah, that sucks.
But yeah, they do get rain and Whistler, but when
it's not raining, it is the most beautiful mountain to
ski on and it's massive, so I'm a big fan.

(02:11):
Plus it's Canada, and you know, Canadians are pretty cool
about everything. You know, they don't start fights, you know
what I mean. It's not like you're dealing with a
bunch of white male energy. I go to Canada quite
a lot myself, and was scheduled to go before the shutdown.
Where is your house? Relatively speaking? In Whistler, it's a
ski and ski out is what it is. So where

(02:34):
is it Queakside? Is it? Whistler Village? Is a black Home?
I'd prefer not to say, quite frankly. I mean I've
had a couple of affairs with ski instructors up there,
so I don't really want to be on the record. Okay,
I know locals wh I ski with up there, and
they'll only ski Black Home. So where do you like
to ski? Yeah? I agree with that Black Home is
where it's at. But I love every kind of skiing.

(02:55):
I don't need it to be a snowstorm. I don't
need it to be you know, like, I'm not into
any particular kind. I just like to have a lot
of big canvas to work with. And how good a
skier are you? Um? I'm pretty good. You probably are
a little bit better than may just based on our age.
I'm not the most perfect skier, but I'm a big daredevil,

(03:16):
so I like to take a lot of risks, like
I like Helly skiing and cat skiing? Okay, do you
ski Spanky's Ladder at uh in Black Home? In Black Home,
I have gone down Spanky's ladder once once. No, no, No,
Spanky's Ladder I do all the time. But there's another one.
There's a peak above that that's even harder than I've
done once. But yes, I've done Spanky's Ladder for sure. Okay,

(03:38):
So where do you like to ski on Black Comb? Oh?
I mean what the runs? I mean, I just everywhere.
I can't think of what the runs that I like
in this moment, but I mean other places I like
to ski. I love park City just because of the
vibe of Park City and the options of going to Alter,
snow Mass or Snowbird. Sorry, but Aspen is also incredible skiing,

(04:00):
and I always kind of had that feeling about Aspen, like,
you know, I don't like a scene when I go skiing.
I like to be off the beaten track, not where
all the Hollywood people go, So that was always kind
of a turn off. But last year I went to
Aspen and skied Snowmass three days and I was the
only person on the mountain, me and my friend for
three days. It was incredible. It was March. I think

(04:21):
the one that's off of you know the is it Snowma,
Snowmass the one that's off of you know, twenty minutes
outside of town. Yes, yeah, that's it. Yeah. So that
was beautiful. And then we skied the other three mountains there.
But I'll ski anywhere. I love to ski, but I'm
not you know where I'm not going to ski Vermont. Okay,
did you grow up skiing in Vermont? I did. It

(04:42):
was miserable. Uh, well, Camelbacks, New York. But Vermont. We
went to snow a lot. That was one place, but
we also did a lot of like the bad skiing
in Vernon Valley in New Jersey. So like I was
in ski clothes, I mean ski class, and my brothers
and sisters would leave me all the time, you know,
for hours and hours while I just frozen. My ass

(05:02):
off was strangers. And when I grew up, I went
to the Aspen Comedy Festival for and it was in
the winter and I went skiing with David Allan career.
One day I was like, hey, let's go skiing. I'm like,
I don't have any ski clothes because you don't have
to it's so warm out you could wear your jeans.
And it was the first time I had skied on
the West Coast and understood how pleasurable that activity could

(05:24):
be without having to freeze your ass off. And then
I took skiing a lot more seriously. Okay, so use
what age were you when you started skiing? Oh, like
five six I would go all the time for day trips,
or I was in ski camp, but you know not
but Vermont skiing, you know, ice cold. Okay, But before
you went to the comedy festival, did you continue to

(05:45):
essentially ski every year? No? No, I probably went like
a couple of times in my twenties, and then I
didn't take it seriously. And then when I skied that
in Aspen, and then I skied in Tahoe shortly after,
which was the same set of circumstances like spray, beautiful
warm weather skiing. And then I started to ski again,
and then I had a really bad ski accident in Zermat, Switzerland.

(06:09):
I tore my a c L because I wiped out
really bad. A little bit slower because my girlfriend also
tore her ra c L. Literally what happened, because conventionally
what happens is you fall backward and the toad does
not release on your binding, and that's how you tend
to break your A c L Do you know how
you tore yrs? No, it was it was a blur.
But I was, first of all, congratulations and having a girlfriend.

(06:32):
That's a huge victory in and of itself. Okay, long
time all the what the girlfriend came with? Are you
veil familiar? Yeah, well I've been there. Okay, So I
grew up. We had a house in Manchester, Vermont, which
is Bromly, Stratton and Magic. But I went to college
at Middlebury College. We had our own ski area, which
is why I went there, and that's the other side

(06:53):
of the hill from mad River and sugar Bush. And
then after college, I spent two years in Little Cottonwood Canyon,
Alton Snowbird and I used to pooh pooh Veil, saying
it was too flat. But they have a place in
the lodge a veil. When they built Veil in sixty two,
they literally as part of the deal, had to build

(07:14):
a lodge that is the closest lodge to the lift.
So that is really pretty good. And now I'm trying
to remember what I was responding to You were saying,
we know what my girlfriend came. Yeah, I know, but
there was something else. Oh uh, it was had to
do with park City or in terms of yes, I
have the girlfriends who came with that benefit. But you
were in Zermat. Now conventionally you take your come down

(07:36):
on a sled in Zermatt, they flew you out. Why
they they flew me out because I tore my a
c L. So I rolled. I was skiing out of control.
This was before I became a great scare. I just
loved skiing, but I wasn't concerned with technique. Okay, So
I was a lunatic. And so I was there with
three girlfriends and I wiped. I was just going really

(07:59):
really fast. As you know, they have those long, wide
rolling hills in Switzerland, right, that's very different and it's
not very steep. So I don't really have an excuse
for wiping out like I did, but I did. And
when I was done, I heard click click click click click,
and I was like, oh no, my leg is off,
Like I'm I probably have one leg when this is
all said and done. And when I came to a halt,
I looked up in my Austrian ski guide was sitting

(08:21):
there smoking a cigarette and in his German accent, was
you just stow your A c L helicopter is coming
and did you have surgery? Yeah? They met it acted
me off the mountain, which was a very sexy rescue,
I have to say for German guys. Came out of
the helicopter and like put me on the first they

(08:42):
wanted to give me morphine, which I'm so it was
excited about obviously, and then they put me on a
stretcher and they dragged me over to the helicopter and
it was just it was like something out of James Bond.
I was very, very turned on by that experience. But
then they all had German accents and it was a
forty five minute ride to the hospital. And I'm Jewish,

(09:02):
so Jewish too, And I must remember the first time
I was taking the train from Copenhagen to Switzerland and
they got on the train and they go pass, report, pass, report,
and it's like wow, right now. When we took the
train up from I think it was Geneva, you fly
into to go to Zermat And when we took the
train up, I got so sick and my friends kept
making I go, I hate trains. I hate trains. I'm Jewish,

(09:24):
I hate trains. It's just nauseating being on this and
I go in the accents every time they go. Next time,
You're like, it was PTSD from intergenerational PTSD. Anyway, I
will not be going back to Zirmant, Switzerland. They were
the rudest bunch of people I've ever ever met. That
whole town was like, but wait, well, let's go back

(09:45):
to the helicopter for a second. A lot of times
when they fly injured skiers off the helicopter, they put
the basket outside the helicopter. Did they bring you inside
the helicopter? I was inside the helicopter, okay. And did
you have your urgery? And Switzerland or back in Los Angeles? No.
After that, I was dating a guy who met me
and I think Rome. I went from there to Rome

(10:08):
and I had just a just like a brace on
my knee while we traveled through Florence, Rome. Um. We
went to a bunch of different cities and I just
wore the brace. And then when I got back to
l A, I had I went to the doctor and
he was like, you've done so much damage by not
getting the surgery right away. He's like, you need to
rehab prehab two before the surgery, like get it strong

(10:31):
enough for the surgery so that your rehab post surgery
wouldn't be that difficult. And so then you know after
you have a wipe out like that. I became a
much more tentative skier because I was scared. And my
ski guy that I had skied with for about seven
years in Whistler. Every year I go with a ski
guy because I can't be trusted to ski by myself

(10:52):
and return at the end of the day. And he said, oh,
I see that you're scared. Now skiing like it used
to be fearless and you're scared. And as soon as
he said that, I was like, fuck you. And then
I was like, I'm going to get good at skiing again.
So now I'm really much better than I was ever
at skiing. Okay, who did your surgery electrosh Yes? Okay,

(11:13):
she did my girlfriends too, same situation. She didn't march around,
but she had to do the prehab. Try to get
the swelling down. Your girlfriend and I sounded almost like twins.
She literally has a twin, so unless you want to
be triplets, that's a whole another thing. But did you
have that machine where you have to put your you
know sort of it's almost like a stationary bike where

(11:35):
you're a rowing machine. You have that for a week
and you have to do all the rehab. Yeah, they
give you that electronic knee mover machine. Um, so I
had that and the ice, which you know, I love ice.
You don't know that, but I do. So I love
icing any part of my body or any excuse to
ice it. So I had to ice it every night.
But the real problem were the painkillers, because they really

(11:57):
fuck you up, you know, like, and you have to
get ahead of the pain. So like on day three,
I was like, Okay, I'm fine, I don't need these anymore.
And then I woke up writhing in pain one night
and I was like, oh my god, Oh my god,
oh my god. And you can't. It's hard to catch
up to the pain, you know, so you really have
unfortunately I do. Yeah, So you have to give it
like a week of those pain killers. And those pain

(12:18):
killers make you crazy. Well, they make you crazy, and
you're kind of zoned out. It's not like you can read.
You can kind of sit in front of the TV
or surf. You know. I had a bad accident four
years ago walking to the ski slope. A friend of
mine has a house in Alta, literally right between Alton
Snowboard and you can walk and ski down to Snowboard

(12:39):
and he's got a black pass. He can get out
an hour earlier and ski the pile, which is great,
especially in snowboard. And it was April. It's one of
those days where it was fifty degrees and then it
was fifteen degrees and I slipped twice walking to go
skiing and fell out my shoulder and tore my Uh.
How to get rotator cuffs surgery And that's one of

(13:01):
the first things they said. And I've had too many
surgeries anyway, not from skiing. It's like, don't wait for
the pain to come. Then you've already lost it. You
have tokay, right right, that's good. I once went to
al to my ski guide in Park City, this guy Carl,
who's like he's going to be a hundred this year.
He's incredible and he has been my ski guide for

(13:21):
a couple of years and I love him. He took
me to ski in Alton one day and we went
to somebody's house. They just lived on the mountain right
They were built into the side of the mountain. So
we got there. We got off a lift and skied
right down to their house and they were grilling bison,
and then they just took us out skiing for the day.
We came back, we had some vodka shots around three,
and then they took us and then we skied out.
I was like, this is the coolest place ever. It

(13:43):
was like one of those days I'll never forget. Well.
One of the great things about Alton Snowberg is there's
literally nothing else to do there, so if you are there,
it the focus is really skiing. It's not like you know,
being an aspen or veiling and shopping. These are hardcore skiers. Now,
my girlfriend, who were her A c l at this
point with your girlfriend in my face. But the reason

(14:06):
I mentioned is thirteen years ago it happened. It happened
in the trees and mammoth. I don't know if you know,
Lincoln Mountain a mammoth and we were skiing in the
trees and she fell backwards. She was very tentative when
she got back on the snow and I won't say
that she's ever gotten completely after that. We were once out.

(14:26):
We have some friends who were uber wealthy and they
will only ski with the instructor, and they didn't arrive
the games instructor and you know, he was taking us
in the woods. We're not talking about you know, steamboat
like plates. And I said, you can take her, but
you know I don't want it on my head. So
this point in time, you're completely over the tearing of
your a c L. Yeah. Well, I skied with a

(14:48):
brace for a long time, so that gives you a
little extra confidence. And then you know, when they fix
your knee, it's stronger than the other one. I said
to why don't I just ski around with two knee
braces on. That'll prevent any for their injuries. He goes,
you could do that, but you know you say that
and then you don't follow through with that. I'm pretty good.
I mean, I'm not gonna say I won't get into
another accident. I hope I don't get into another accident.

(15:10):
But I'm a little bit more. Uh, you know, I'm
a little bit better now, Like I know what I'm doing.
You can put me in. I can pretty much ski
down anything. Although i'd rather not ski down certain things
I can. Okay, let's get a little deeper into what
kind of boots do you have? You're asking me questions,
Bob that I things I don't pay attention to, like
wells are the most important thing. Okay, let's switch to mother. No, No,

(15:33):
we could talk about my boots. I had them made
last year at at Sherefoot and Brandon's not here. My
assistant left, so I don't know what brand they are.
But if you said it, if you want to start guessing,
I could tell you all. Believe I could guess. There's
like three or five big brands. How many pairs of
skis do you have? Two? You know what those are?

(15:55):
But I give those away to every season. I give
them away like to somebody else because I know I'm
going to get to New pay. I have a pair
of fat skis, and a Paraffin wants to know. Do
I know what brand they are? Ship? I don't. Sorry, Well,
real two is good enough. You know I can't use
one O K two the fat They make some of
the best female skis. I mean, I got a closet

(16:15):
full of skis. I got one eight teens uh nineties
six is in uh, seventy seven's and uh, I like,
you know, I like the French skis because they're whippy
or you know, they're different schools of thought. But the
right tool is important. I used to ski powder in
the old narrow you know, Rozzi Stratos, etcetera. But having

(16:38):
a big fat ski makes it certainly more pleasurable. Oh yeah,
but you have to get used to big fat skis, right.
Like I was in my first like major Jackson Hole
snow storm last year and I was like, I can't,
I can't ski this, Like I could not get get
the snow under me in the right way, and the
skis were so much fatter than I had been used
to because they had had been dumped on the night before.

(16:59):
And it took me like about two hours to be like, Okay,
now I know what I'm doing. Like, it is an
adjustment to make, especially in the powder, because I know,
once you're good, the powder is easier, but until you
cross that line, the powder is just you know, so hard. Well,
you know, the interesting thing is where your scheme. Because Jackson,
which happens to have the best conditions right now, they

(17:21):
have over a hundred inches have fallen there this year.
The altitude at the bottom is low there at six
thousand feet. Yeah, they have an inversion there, definitely. The
snow can be kind of heavy, whereas if you get
a good day in out in snowboard, little Cottonwood can
is literally the best snow in the world. It's so
light that you can use your regular technique, where normally

(17:42):
you have to sit back a little bit when the
snow is heavier and that can get tricky, and you know,
the moves are more gradual. It's an adjustment. So where
have you gone hellie skiing, helly skiing? I've been in
Helli skiing and Whistler and Switzerland. Before my Injurance Solen
we went helly skiing and managed to not get injured

(18:02):
that day. But yeah, and I've done cat skiing at
the million is it called a million Miles or in
Park City outside of Park City. We did that last
two years ago. That was really fun. I hadn't cat
ski before. So I've only been helly skiing like twice.
And where have you only skied at Zermat in Europe? No?
I skied at some other place Bacquaietta in Spain, which

(18:24):
was terrible. And then right, yeah, and the Pyrenees, right,
and then where else in Europe? Uh, Samarets, I've been there. Okay,
that's really glitz Center. Yeah, that was nauseating to me,
so I don't ever want to go back there. Well,
you know, the French ski areas is because a lot
of them were purpose built after the war. The other
ski areas have caught up, but the lift infrastructure is

(18:47):
much better. I've been to Corchevelle, which is now the
largest ski area with three three value. That's all. That's
that's verbi A right where corsavell is no no Verbia Switzerland.
Verbis got a lot of exam skiing Corschevelle. It's you
would love it, except there are a lot of Russia's
Really it's changed. There's a lot of money and val
de Sair, you know, which is where Chilly is from.

(19:09):
Valdasair has doesn't that have those three little towns where
you write valdasare am I thinking of that. That's coll Okay,
Well you go from valve Thrinds to mal Marabelle to Corshevelle.
But the problem is, uh, the last time I went
I hate it so wrong. Once again, this was January.
It was warm and then it got cold, so it

(19:29):
was a sheet of ice. Like you said, going back
to the West. If you can ski in the West,
there's no reason to ski in these Well. Also it's
you don't need to go to you know, Europe, just
because honestly, Canada snow, like this Canadian snow is the
best it's going to be in the world in my opinion.
I mean, going to Europe like they don't get the
same they don't get the same kind of snowfall that

(19:50):
I can't agree. That's gonna be my next point. The
last time we were there, the guy said, call me
before you come, don't book it in advance. Right right,
I'm skip Bam. They have some like those are really
easy places around Bam, revel Stoke. I was, well, I
had plans to go there for New Year's this year,
So we'll see what happens. Maybe I will. Actually, if

(20:10):
I get into Canada, it's looking good. I have to
take this residency at this theater in Vancouver. Uh so
I can do two shows every Saturday night and that's
my work reason to be there, and then I could
just practice my new set since my special just came out.
It's like I get to ski, and then I get
to perform every weekend and work on my new material.
So it's kind of like a slam dunk. Okay, So

(20:32):
you want to ski three months this year? What's the
most number of days you skied in a year? Oh God,
I never count that, but I would say probably like
close to sixty. Okay. And if you ever skied to
Portillo in South America? No, no, but I've talked about
that a lot, and talked about Japan as well. But no,
I have not yet gone, and obviously this might not

(20:53):
be the year I've been. Once again, you don't want
to book it too far in advance. It's all above
tree line, so when it snows you literally can't go out.
I mean I went out mentioning my girlfriend again. She
almost got her losing the lesson. But it's like a
cruise ship. The lifts are slow, but the power never
gets skied out. It's a really interesting experience which will

(21:15):
save So have you been to everywhere in the United States?
Like tell your ride some valley, etcetera. I've been to
Sunda Ali, I've been to tell you, I haven't been
to like Crested Butte, I haven't been to a couple
of Steamboat I've never been there, um, but my big place,
I like park City because of the variety, obviously, so
that's kind of my go to if I don't go

(21:36):
to Whistler. I used to go to tell you ride
every year, and then they stopped getting snow and that's
when I pivoted my family vacation to Whistler. That was
a good idea because I haven't need to tell you
ride right the last time I was here, But they
got a huge snow problem. I'm not a huge fan
of park City. You ski a park City or Deer Valley.
I like park City just because my guide is there.
But we spend going We go to Snowbird and Alta

(21:56):
every other day, you know, so I like the You
know that as long as you can do that, Okay,
But let's get back to the politics. So you know,
Biden wins, although the Republicans don't seem to want to
acknowledge them. No matter how many Republicans tell them that
there was no election fraud, they don't seem to want
to accept the obvious, which is very ironic considering how

(22:20):
much they thought everybody else was a bad loser when
Trump won the first time. But yeah, but the rules
don't apply to them. What do you think about the
seventy odd million who voted for Trump? Um, I think
we have a lot of work to do, and I
think that Joe Biden is probably a really good candidate
to get that done. I think that there's a we
need to be unified, and I think that he can

(22:41):
appeal to all sorts of people, you know, in ways
that uh, in ways that other presidents haven't and you know, uh,
he speaks the right language. So I'm optimistic after this,
the last month of behavior by Trump and if people
seeing what a sore loser he is and the COVID

(23:01):
and everything that he's bungled, I'm optimistic that people are
being picked off. What I am concerned about as these
you know, disinformation misinformation campaigns that places like Facebook allow
spreading of misinformation regarded conspiracy theories and you know, falsehoods
about COVID and that it's not you know, that it's

(23:22):
a hoax. Like, I'm really concerned that half of our
population believes a different set of facts or a set
of truths which are not facts or truth. Uh So,
I guess our job is like human beings moving forward
is not to chastise those people for believing in conspiracy theories,
but just demonstrate and show them like by humanity, like

(23:44):
how the how wrapped up and wrong their information is.
And that's not necessarily telling somebody, oh, you're an idiot,
you're stupid. It's like, hey, why don't you let's talk
about the fact that you guys think there's a pedophilia
ring being run out of the downstairs basement of a
pizza parlor, and when you look into that pizza parlor,
they don't even have a fucking basement. It's like these

(24:06):
people who believe in these theories couldn't have made that
next step to look and see if the pizza parlor
that they think the Clintons are running a pedophilia ring
out of had a basement. Let's break down a few things.
On this last show of the season, Bill Maher said,
it's really a cult, and we need Katherine Oxenburg like
trying to get her daughter India out of Nexium. So

(24:28):
also the Democrats, and I'm a big lefty, far left
of Biden. The Democrats are always playing defense while the
Republicans set the agenda. So I believe This is one
of the problems in Hollywood in general. Everybody's always apologizing. Okay,
so when Hillary talked about the deplorables, she should have

(24:48):
owned it. People should own their statements. So the question becomes,
by talking to these people regularly, can we really convince
them other? No, I mean you you may not be
able to convince an entire swath of a population, but
you can pick off people here and there, and then
that spreads, you know, like it's you know, I mean,

(25:12):
I think it comes down to humanity. As far as
I'm concerned, this is like a human rights election. You know,
we're talking about people who have you know what, what
white people have to do a to make up for
the bad behavior that we've demonstrated since this country began.
You know, this is an opportunity for us to be like,
for us to spread the messaging for people who are

(25:32):
passionate about politics and about progressive movements. It's this is
the time. We don't want another like, you know, Obama
administration just for Democrats because that was just dancing in
the middle of the road because he was up against
such racism. But we can achieve that with Joe Biden.
So I'm with you on pushing him as left as possible,
because we're trying to ameliorate this old guard of democratic moderates,

(25:57):
and the future is forward, like young people are done
with this climate bullshit that we've given them, so we
have to act progressively and act like it's an emergency
situation because it is. So I'm with you on going
left and on convincing people. I'm never gonna stop trying.
You know, people curse me out and tell me they're
gonna kill me or that I'm a dumb whore blah

(26:18):
blah blah all the time on social media, and I
don't give a ship because every once in a while
you connect with somebody who doesn't agree with you, and
and then all of a sudden you show them a
little humanity and they're like, hey, I'm sorry I spoke
to you that way, I'm sorry that I called you
a whore, and I'm like, great, okay, now can we
talk about like what what are our other differences? And

(26:39):
some people are just really alone, and we have to
have a little bit more compassion for how people get
interested in following conspiracy theories in the first place, Like
you know, it starts much earlier than that if you're
that vulnerable to too false ideas. Okay, now you mentioned
on Howard that you're a book big reader of books.

(26:59):
Did you read the book? It was raised as one
of the top ten of the year, called a children's
Bible by Lydia Millen. No, I did not, Well, this
was book, you know, it's one of these books that
sort of, you know, in a world where everybody is
full of ship I only like to recommend slam dunks.
But the interesting thing about this book when you finish it,
it's about uh younger and older generation sharing a vacation

(27:23):
house and then a apocalyptic event happens, a storm. And
what it really shows how we have to transfer power
to the young people. The older people just dicking around
and about lifestyle, and it's the young people who know
what all the issues are. Now. I was first for
Warren before she compromised. Once she compromised herself on Medicare
for walls, once she blinked, I knew she was done.

(27:45):
Then I went back to Bernie. Now, needless to say,
I think that the Democrats, you know, they lined up
behind Biden. I am not optimistic. I'm a big believer
in AOC those two. You have to throw the long
ball to get people excited. And I'm not gonna say
I'm anti Biden, etcetera, but being Jew, I am pessimistic.

(28:07):
Let's start with Georgia. Do you think we'll pick up
those two seats? I honestly don't know. I mean, I
don't know. Listen, it's possible. We flipped it blue, so
it is possible. It is possible. Unfortunately, you have to
win by fifty point one percent, and the Republicans were
way ahead, but you never really know. It was Stacy
Abrams of course getting people to vote. But let's say

(28:28):
hypothetically the Senate remains in Republican control. Isn't it sort
of hard to be optimistic. Yeah, that becomes a different
story moving forward. Uh, and then Joe Biden really has to, like,
you know, figure out a way. You know. Let's listen,
Mitch McConnell and Joe Biden have known each other for
fifty years. Mitch McConnell is the biggest piece of ship

(28:49):
that I can think of right now. But they have
a relationship, and if anyone is going to get anything
done with him, it would be Joe Biden, not Bernie Sanders.
Not Barack Obama, Joe Biden. I like that you're speaking
English because in you know, amongst the established Democrats, you
can't say anything negative about Obama and I have nothing
negative to say about him or his morals. But he

(29:11):
was so fearful of appearing the angrily angry black men
that he constantly, you know, was trying to make peace
with Republicans who never had any intention to do so. Yeah,
but you know, listen, you know that's whose fault is that?
Not his? I mean, they're a bunch of racist white assholes.
You know, this is the old Guard. It's like the
death cough of racism is our Senate. I mean, have
you ever watched any of these Senate hearings? And look

(29:33):
how old every fucking person is. You're like, excuse me?
Is that they're supposed to be? Like remember when people
went into politics to represent their community for two years
or four years and then they went back to their
regular jobs because it wasn't supposed to be a professional career.
Being a politician. Was supposed to be like, Oh, I'm
gonna go represent my neighbors, my community. And now we

(29:55):
have all this money in politics and everybody's just full
of ship, you know, and you're up against money and
you can't fight that. So there is hope with this
administration to at least start discussing getting money out of politics,
like that's something Kamala cares about strongly, and that's something
that Biden has been a little bit resistant to discuss.

(30:15):
But I think we're going to get there because he
has to. He has to be accountable to so many
groups of marginalized communities right now. You know, he can't
get away with any funny stuff right now. Well, I
think the problem you reference is the boomers. The boomers
were always the largest population bulge, and even though they're
out of touch and I'm a boomer myself, they feel

(30:38):
entitled to rule. We've certainly seen this over the last
twenty five years. With tech. They don't even understand what
is going on. You know, as we speak, their suing Facebook,
but they still can't understand what is going on there.
Do you think Newsom is an empty suit? Are good?

(30:59):
I me, And I don't know how you feel that,
but I think he's bungled this COVID response for sure.
It's like there's no straight messaging. He bowed for economic
pressure in the beginning now we're rolling back. Then it
hit California harder, like it just didn't make any sense. It's,
you know, closing dining at this point, it's we're all
at our own risk, right, And I understand the hospitals

(31:19):
are being overwhelmed, and then when that happens, we have
to shut down the businesses. But like we're not giving
people stimulus and we're also telling them they can't work.
That doesn't work. Well, yeah, you are at the root
of the matter. I mean, certainly in Canada they've done
a good job. We have to give the people money.
You know, we have the billionaires and the corporations. First
of all, the corporations took all the money in the
last fucking hand out. Exactly, people can't pay their rent.

(31:43):
What do they expect to happen? And economically, it's been
proven that by opening the country, the public won't go
It's like the movie theaters. Public won't go there. It's
too scared. So you know, you know, Trump's opinion was, well,
open up everything and it will work. Not only does
it not work on a medical level, We've seen that
in Sweden people are too afraid to go out. Well,

(32:03):
some people don't give a ship and they'll go anywhere.
But but the thing is, well, not everybody dies, that's
the problem. So people don't take it so seriously because
they think they're strong enough and they're not going to
be affected by it in a dealiterarious way. But what
I would say is like, you know, thinking that we
should shut everything down for once our hospitals are like
at MAX, Yes, absolutely we should shut everything down. People.

(32:26):
We can't abuse them. They've been abused for a year now,
We've abused all of our hospital and frontline workers. But uh,
I would say until that MAX is hit, it is
so important. Like for people who think I just want
to shut everything down, I don't want anything open. It's
like it's a very elitist mentality to think because you
can survive for the next six months without any income,

(32:48):
that everything should be shut down. Some people need to
fucking work. Most people need to work week to week
to week to week. So it's not it's not helpful,
you know, especially when we're not getting they're not getting
these stimulus packages people who need them, you know. So
it is like, you know, it's a working it's a
nice thing for people to say, oh, we have to

(33:10):
shut everything down. But it's like, we'll look at your life.
Is it gonna affect you in that way? Well, let's
talk about you specifically. How seriously have you taken quarantine? Um? Well,
I filmed my special during COVID If that gives you
any insight in in their social distaning kind of like
a Chappell show, but on a day by day basis
when you're not working and most people are not working. Well,

(33:33):
I don't. I wear a mask wherever I go. I
bide by, so I wear a mask when I'm outside
taking a walk, just like as an example to other
neighbors and stuff like, hey, I take this seriously, so
should you? Kind of, But I'm pretty good. I definitely
have a lot of people coming to my house, Like outside,
I have social gatherings with three or four friends, Like

(33:53):
my girlfriends are coming over tonight, but we'll sit outside
distanced and we'll have cocktails. And will you wear them
masks when you're not actually sipping your cocktail? Uh? Yeah,
we did. We have been the last a few times
because of the numbers spiking so as much. Um. I
have also a home test kit because I have white
privilege and I am wealthy, so I can test anybody

(34:15):
who comes to my house, and I test myself all
the time also, so we can get a little bit
slower because there's issues as to the accuracy of that.
And there's also a supposedly new one that's very accurate.
So how long have you had this, kid? Tell us
a little bit more about it. Mine's the que Health one.
I just got it, so it's supposed to be ninety accurate. Yeah,

(34:36):
so it's the new one, right, Yeah, So I've I took,
I ruined three tests trying to figure out how to
use it, but I finally did. And now, I mean, listen,
a test isn't a free I want to be very specific.
So how much did this unit cost? Back? Five ground okay?
And how does it work? They give you a cartridge

(34:56):
which is like the bulk of the price. I think
it's like eight hund dollars. Then each test is like
two hundred and something dollars. It comes down to um
and then every time you use a test, it's like
it's hooked up to your You download the app on
your phone, you keep your phone by the cartridge, you
put your you do your nasal swab in each nostril
five times and then you plug it into the cartridge

(35:17):
and in twenty minutes it will give you your result. Wow.
Do you know anybody who's died? Mm hmmm directly? Do
I know anybody who's died from COVID No, not no,
no one directly. But I've friends, parents and stuff, but
no one. Unfortunately I do. Uh. But also going back

(35:38):
to Howard Stern, we were very open. You were talking
about the issue of a nascent relationship in dating. How
do you addressed that during COVID era. At first, I
have them come over and sit in my backyard while
I interview them for thirty minutes, and then if I
decide that I would like to move forward with some
sexual activity, I asked them about their COVID seriousness, what

(36:00):
they do, and obviously at this point they're motivated by
other things, so who knows if they're telling me the truth.
But I give everyone a COVID test as soon as
they get here. And while that's not a hundred percent safe,
I mean a hundred set fool proof, it's still you know,
I just I just do that. But I mean, you know,
I don't date a ton, but I definitely have started
dating because I'm going out of my mind. Okay, what

(36:24):
is the Chelsea test? Well, first of all, you can't
wear shoes or a belt that is going to annoy me,
right like I can look at a pair of shoes
and be completely turned off. Ok just different gradations. If
someone comes in with you know, the generic term is
nikes or converse, is that a turn offer? Is it
still possible? That's possible, that's cool, that's fine. And what

(36:46):
if they don't have a belt at all? Even better?
I prefer not to deal with the belt. Okay, there's
a sexual innuendo there will Okay for you, there was
not for me. Okay, let me ask you. Can you
look at somebody just like you can instantly look at
some one and tell them what drugs they should be on.
Can you instantly look at somebody and it's thumbs upper,
thumbs down? Yeah for sure. But let me say this,

(37:08):
A sense of humor can make up for a lot,
right Like if you're funny or and not even necessarily funny,
but well yeah kind of you have to be funny.
Just getting the jokes sometimes isn't enough you Sometimes I
like somebody who can make getting the jokes. I came
up with that college where there weren't that many Jews.
You know, if you can't get the jokes, forget it right, right,
But a sense of humor does make it's so like

(37:30):
I am a sucker for that. Okay, But the person
the mail comes for the interview, uh. In terms of
their clothing, let's soon they get over the first turtle,
like if they're wearing if they're wearing cologne, it's a no,
I don't like any sense, okay, but but I'm going
a little bit beyond that. If you know, these are
the nose, the belt, the shoes, the cologne. However, if

(37:53):
someone comes dressed evidencing, uh, they want to send an
image that they're rich, can they can you get past that?
Or you say, you know this is just too phony, etcetera,
Like how would you try to prove you're rich about people?
They're certain jewelry you can wear the gelgy has also
that be gives that's a boner killer for me jewelry. Okay,

(38:15):
let's assume the person gets over the physical question marks.
Is it more of an interview or more banter banter repartee?
I like to have a little chemistry, you know, conversational chemistry.
That's what it is. Banter, that's how I flirt. Okay,
you're a very irreverent person. And you also said you

(38:37):
went to therapy, but you have no need for therapy
at this particular moment, not that you might not tomorrow,
but not right now. So if I'm dating Chelsea Handler,
when do I get the real Chelsea? The inside you're
angst your hopes, your dreams. I mean, I'm pretty I'm
pretty out. I mean, I'm pretty outspoken about the truth

(38:59):
of who I am. I'm not. I don't have a
like persona uh not intentionally anyway. Um, I'm I mean,
I'm pretty open to talking about real ship, you know.
I also that's a thing like people who aren't willing
to go deep. I don't. I find that boring. But
you're very active and I would tend to think that
you would dominate most men. Yes, okay, and ultimately the

(39:22):
men you've been involved with. What does the power structure
look like? I'm in charge and yeah, and that's the structure.
And the time I've had one relationship where I was
not in charge and that didn't I didn't like that.
And how long did that relationship last? Two and a
half years, but with a couple of breakups in between,
because the end me breaking up with him. And could

(39:45):
he accept it? Yeah, I mean he didn't. Yeah, yeah,
he accepted it. Okay. But if you're in charge, that
would tend to look like the other person would be
insecure on some level and afraid of alienating you. If
I'm in charge, well they should be. That's good. I
think that's a good dynamic in a relationship. Who's in

(40:06):
charge with your relationship with your girlfriend, it sounds like
your girlfriend. It sounds like your girlfriend has I would
I was in charge for Okay. I've had multiple relationships.
When I was in law school, I lived with a
person for years, then I did and then I lived
with a person that I was married too, and then
there were like fifteen years and I've been living with
this woman for fifteen years, and everything was My mother

(40:28):
recently died, and as a result, I'm close to my
sisters anyway. She fled a full life, although you know,
passing as serious, and I can see the family dynamic
growing up definitely affected who I am and how I interact.
My father certainly brought home the bacon, but my mother
directed all the social elements. And I have two sisters,

(40:52):
so I grew up in a female dominated household. I
have no trouble talking to women. But and you were
kind of referencing this in your special ultimate, and I
was talking to my dhrink about you this. You know,
will you put it out there and say, okay, let's
do it. Not that I had never had sex on
the first date, okay, but I'm so busy respecting people

(41:12):
that I can't read the signal that maybe the person
would want to do it with me. Right, And by
the way, as a white guy, you need to read
that signal because the biggest problem white men have is
not listening to what women are saying, which is usually
get away from me, no. So it's important that you like,
let the woman make sure you know what she's interested in.
That's historically when you know, you're obviously a product of

(41:36):
the modern day where you have no you're not caught
up in the mail in society more rays. But as
I say, my problem is maybe I'm respecting a little
too much. I mean, I I didn't grow up. I'm
not a member of fraternity. I'm not a guy who
you know, has any bro culture and I can be
turned off by that. But let's just assume. I mean,
we all have issues. So you're lying in bed with

(41:59):
the with the guy, will you spontaneously talk about your
inner issues? Inner issues? Yeah, I'm not opposed to that.
I will. I'm not talking about opposed. Is we look back?
Is that something that happens. Yes, I mean, of course,
when you're intimate with somebody and you feel like you're

(42:20):
interested in them. If it's not just sex, which sometimes
it is, then no. But if it's someone you're interested
in when there's chemistry, then yes, absolutely. Okay, So with
the guy, what about you, Bob, Are you interested in
sharing your innermost feelings? I'm interested that in most, But
something happened to me about twenty five years ago. You know.

(42:44):
The interesting thing is, uh, my father was certainly very outspoken,
and my mother. To my mother, as I always say,
it was like when Reggie Jackson came to the Yankees,
he said he was the straw that stirs the drink.
And so I am certainly the all that. I mean
my mother certainly is I went away to college. I
grew up in the suburbs of Connecticut, fifty miles from

(43:05):
New York so it's all New York media, etcetera. I
went to college in the middle of nowhere, in the
pre DVD VHS era, never mind a little bit after that.
But in any event, I had never been involved with
that many non Jews who were wealthy, who did not
understand the Jewish experience, and a interacting with don Jews

(43:29):
is very different from interacting with Jews. And you have
a certain profile at this point, the average person does
not know how to interact with celebrity or wealth. I
went to college, there was Betsy Bass from Baths Show's
Eileen Rockefeller. I mean, these were people, and you learned
how to interact. To this day, you know, if I'm

(43:49):
with their per certain people, I can't bring them along
because there'll be someone famous and they'll they'll literally embarrass you.
But the point was I was very vocal, okay, once
I started to right full time and eighty six, and
I had regular jobs before that in the music and
film industry. Somehow I've become internalized, and even though I have,
you know, six figures worth of people listening to me

(44:11):
every day, on some level, I feel a little isolated.
So it makes it more difficult for me to tell
my story, and you're great because you're having you're telling,
You're getting me to tell my story. But first and foremost,
one thing you learn, and i'n't employed as a trick.
Most people love to talk about themselves and they will
set tell you absolutely anything. I'm not one of those

(44:33):
people is going to use it against you, but I
find it fascinating. Everybody's got a life story to tell,
and I want to hear it. But frequently when I
start telling my story, you hear noise in the background.
Oh yeah, I'm rearranging the cupboard whatever. That's because you're
not saying anything though, You're just you're glossing over the
question that I asked you. I'm asking you seriously, are
you into getting deep with with your partners? Say? Are

(44:54):
you're into having deep conversations? Because absolutely, if anything, I'm
too deep for people. It's like that Mark Cohn song,
dig down Deep. There is nothing I would rather do
than talk about my emotions. They analyze other people's motivations.
I love that. Well, you're Jew, though, so Jews love
to do that. It's like Howard you know, he loves
to talk about you know, That's why it makes a

(45:16):
good interviewer and on the subject though what you can
ask me, you continue, no interrupts me, go ahead. I
used to, Uh, you know, there are a lot of people.
My father was one of those people who would say,
what's the real story here? You know, you see somebody
living in your neighborhood at the time, driving a Cadillac,

(45:38):
going on vacation, but they don't seem to work. There's
always a story, that's what interests me. Where a lot
of people they take it on face value. Obviously in
Hollywood you have a lot of people living on debt,
driving expensive cars. One bad thing happens, they lose everything.
But there's more than that, especially when you're privileged like
you are, and I am to interact with people who

(45:59):
have a lot of money, and you realize they say
they have a job, but they really don't. And then
you know, people do you know. There's one of the
things that bothers me about Hollywood and famous people is
these people who get divorced and say, oh, I'm over
it and immediately get another relationship. If you were in
a deep relationship, it's gonna take you a long time
to get over that if you're honest, Because here's someone

(46:21):
who knows all your personal stories, all your motivations, your acts,
and and you know I'm not I don't. I don't
believe in being friends after But even if you are friends,
that's a little antiquated. I mean, I'm not friends with
many of my Well, actually that's not true. If enough
time passes, you can be friends. But like, I also
find that suspicious when people are friends with their exes.
But then when I really break it down, it's like,

(46:43):
that's exactly the way it should be. You should want
to be friends with the person that you dated or
that you dated or dating. I find it too painful.
I used to sleep with this person in the bed.
I shared everything, and you can interact with them and
it clicks right back. This is both good and bad.
You know, you we can with someone you say, well,
should I have broken up with them, and within seconds

(47:04):
of reconnecting with them, you see exactly why you write.
It's like, oh, I forgot why this person annoys me,
and then I remember, But it's hard for me after
having shared all that stuff. You know, we live in
a completely phony world where everybody is full of shit.
So when you get down to the essence of it,

(47:24):
that's when you really feel like a human being. Also,
when you get older, you realize it's all bullshit. I
have compassion. I believe everybody is a title to food
on their plate and a roof over their house, you know,
because when you're desperate, and I've been desperate, that's really bad.
Other than that, accomplishments, it's all irrelevant. Ultimately, none of
us will be remembered, and in a short term probably

(47:45):
people will be remembered. Weren't even that famous in our era.
So it's about your interact. This is one of the
problems with men. Men. It's all about a totem pole.
I gotta get this. I gotta that where a woman
can go from experience to experience. So generally, okay, let's
say you break up with somebody. You'll call all your friends.
You'll tell the story. So I'm coming over with some

(48:05):
you know, sweet, some chalkol ate, whatever, and you'll talk
it out. If you call a guy. If a guy
calls a guy, you say, oh, come over, let's sit
on the couch and watch some sports. They can't even
get into this. They can't even discuss it. It's like
and the best part is if you're a girl and
you break up with a guy and you wonder if
he's talking to his friends about you. He's not. I

(48:26):
never heard him said that way, but that is absolutely true.
It's like, oh, he's gonna talk to his friends and
they're gonna tell him how great I was and how
he fucked up. And then you're like, no, they're not.
They're just gonna be like, Okay, good, We're glad that's over.
You know, you have this idea like women are able
to make up, and you know this is just because
of the construct of everything, you know, societal construct and

(48:47):
stuff that we've you know, there's so much value place
on the way a woman thinks versus the way a
man thinks, because we're so different. And the bottom line is,
you know, yeah we're a little bit different, but we're
the same more than more different. And like, when I
find a guy that can really actually talk intellectually about
his emotions or about his feelings, like that is the

(49:10):
biggest turn on. And that's what's happening now. You know,
like men have to come to the table with more
than just they're you know, they're dick in their hands.
Excuse my French for those seventeenth time I've cursed on
this podcast. Curse as much as you want, but they
have to come to the table with a little bit more,
if you know what I mean. You can't just be
a guy trying to get laid and have no depth

(49:31):
to you. It's like you can, but then you're gonna
get You're gonna get the mirror image of yourself. Okay.
Has anyone ever broken up with you? Um? Yeah, yeah,
I'm trying to remember hold on, uh broken up with me? Yes.
I had a guy, a boyfriend when I was like
in my twenties. He he owned the building that I

(49:53):
lived in Santa Monica. I lived on Wilshore and at
this building, and his name was Bijon. He was Persian,
but he went by John, so I didn't know he
was Persian until I was dating for about four months
and saw Bien written somewhere. I'm like, hold up, what
are you Persian? And he said yes I am. I'm like,
okay that okay, I didn't know that, thank you. Anyway,
we had a cute little relationship for like six months.

(50:15):
I was really into him. I was probably twenty five
six years old, and I was hustling doing stand up
around town, and I had had a couple of small
breaks and he didn't like that I wanted to be
in the entertainment industry or that I wanted to be
famous or any of that stuff. It was a big
turn off to him, as it would have been to myself,
by the way. Uh. And so I said, I'm gonna write.

(50:37):
I got a book deal, was my very first book deal,
and it was a book about all my one night
stands that I had had in my twenties. It was
called My Horizontal Life, a collection of one night stands.
And he said, if you write a book like that, like,
I'm not gonna be dating you. And I was like,
oh my god, really and he so he broke up
with me. And you know, when you're immature and you're

(50:59):
a girl, you really believe like everyone's going to come
to their senses like that they're gonna miss you so
much that they're going to come back and you know,
want to be with you. And he was not interested
in being with me. I mean I begged him to
get back together like twice. He said, no, as long
as you want to be in the entertainment industry, I'm
not interested in that. Well, that's black. That's black and white.
That makes it easy. But don't you think it's interesting

(51:23):
that you're usually the person who breaks up with the
other person. Well, not considering my history, I don't really
trust men, you know, until I like time out, time out.
I'm talking about Chelsea Handler doesn't trust men. I'm an
independent woman. So, as I talked about in my special,

(51:43):
you know, my brother passed away when I was nine
years old, and he you know, he was an accident,
but he told me, like looked me in the eye
right before he left and said, I will never leave
you with these people. He was talking about my parents.
But he was going on a hiking trip in Jackson,
oh Wyoming, and he said that to me because I

(52:03):
was questioning why he was going away without the family.
I'd never been separated from my brother before ever. He
was the oldest. I was the youngest of six. And
when he said I'll never leave it with these people, like,
I'll never forget that feeling like, oh, this man is
going to take care of me for the rest of
my life. He cares more about me than anybody. And
he died three days later, got into a hiking accident,

(52:25):
fell off a Cliff and died. And then my father's
reaction to that was also as withdrawn. Like my dad,
who was very present in my life up until my
brother's death, it made me lose trusted men, like as
a unit, like the two guys that I relied on
the most had disappointed me. And so I, you know,

(52:45):
I walked through life with this. I don't need anybody.
I don't need anybody. I'll never depend on a man again.
They can't be trusted. Men can't be trusted. Men can't
be trusted, you know. And I didn't unpack the until
I was forty years old and Trump was elected, and
I was like, I'm mad at Donald Up. I can't
believe he's the president. And my psychiatrists would just sit
there and let me run in circles for like six weeks,

(53:08):
until he finally was like, your anger is not about
Donald Trump. There's something else that this is triggering, Like
this is deeper, and this is from your childhood. And
I was like, there's no way I'm going to talk
about my childhood with this fucking guy. And then two
weeks later, you know, I just he opened my brain
in a way that I hadn't been exposed to before

(53:30):
to actually take a real look at how I gone
through my life and what the biggest impacts were, and
not taking my brother's death seriously, not enough to think
I had to go to therapy for it because I did. Well,
you're obviously a very strong person. That's probably one of
the reasons you resisted therapy. And you say you only

(53:51):
want to rely on yourself. But when you talk about
your father and your brother, there's certainly male but it's
also caught up in the family unit. So and I
certainly understand your point. It's about extrapolating that into your
regular life. But is has it been so dominant that
your experiences with men one on one as an adult

(54:11):
don't affect that, or have you also had experiences with
men as an adults that you say they're not pressworthy? Well? Both,
I think. I think I didn't know, like you know,
what kind of guy to trust, and I didn't trust anyone.
So it was a constant battle of me trying to
make them show me how much they were going to
do for me or how much they loved me, Like

(54:34):
if you love me, prove it. It was like, you know, black,
very black and white. Um, so I was dealing with
men as like as a as a nine year old
little girl essentially, you know, like that immaturity, that where
I was stuck. I was stuck at that age and
many aspects of my life. And once somebody said that
out loud to me, I was like, Oh, I've read

(54:56):
so many books about this, and yet I never recognized
myself in it, you know, because it's so hard to
see your own situation. Sometimes, you know, everybody else can
look at me and go, well, of course she's like
this because her brother Dawn when she was nine, or
you know, her father this and that, and it's like,
but you you don't always see how you are behaving.
You don't always have a clear self awareness. And I

(55:19):
think that's the biggest gift of therapy is the gift
of self awareness. Okay, so having gotten these insights had
does it change your behavior with men subsequent there too? Totally?
Everything is different. Everything is different in my life. I
have so much more patience. I meditate every single morning.

(55:40):
This morning, I meditated for thirty minutes until I was
rudely interrupted by Irving as Off and Shelly A's Off
calling me together postcoital hopefully um first thing this morning.
But I I meditate. I don't react in the way
that I used to. I respond now, you know, if
I get a ext or an email that I disagree

(56:03):
with or I don't like, I don't fire it off
in this angry energy where you're on your phone, like
what what? I don't panic anymore. I just know that, like,
I have a zen quality that I just never had before.
And it's made me be able to sit with myself
for long periods of time without having anything to do.
It's made me calm down. You know. It was, like

(56:25):
I say, cannabis. I always joked that cannabis was my
gateway drug into meditation, but it's true. Like I started,
you know, when it was legalized here, because obviously I
would never do anything illegal. Bob, I'm not I I
got the joke like another comedian. I'm just laughing in
my mind. I started, um, you know, using cannabis, and

(56:47):
I started drinking a lot less because you know, when
you're angry about something, and alcohol is like a hat
on a hat. So my pivot to cannabis kind of
relaxed me altogether. And I'm a real big proponent of
it now because a little bit slower. One might say, well,
it's like a sex a little bit slower, Like you
said that like three times, you're gonna I want to

(57:08):
stop at You're No, you're not going too fast. You're
saying so many interesting things that I don't want to
run past them with and lose them. In the overall conversation,
you're talking about arm cure psychology you get from the books.

(57:29):
Wouldn't arm cure psychologists say that, uh, you are self
medicating and that maybe there's a better drug to reduce
your panic and melo ja? Yeah, I mean whatever, who
cares if? I mean a psychiatrist, he's a professional. He no,
he did. I told him. I came in hot one day.

(57:50):
I was like, hey, I've told him about this, you
know re uh, this renaissance of cannabis and now that
there's this educational component to cannabis. Where you look there,
it's labeled. Now you know what you're taking. You're not
taking a cookie that's some guy put pot in. You know,
you're not taking like unum unlabeled amounts of THHC. It's

(58:11):
it tells you what you're taking. Okay, But did your
doctor ever say I want to give you an antidepression,
or a different job. No, I don't have a depressive personality.
That wasn't my issue. My issue was anger, not depression.
I don't have it. I don't have anxiety. I don't
have depression. I am in a different box of personalities. Okay,
but what other issues do you have besides anger and

(58:33):
mistrusting men? Patients, lack of patients, lack of deeper, deeper,
I'm talking more Chelsea, at the root level. Lack of
empathy was pretty d root. Wow. Wow, So has this
been historic? You've never really had empathy? No, I had
to have him sympathy, Yes, like sympathy. I'm happy to
help anyone, even if it's a stranger, but certainly my friends.

(58:57):
I've shown up on people's beds, you know, millions of
times in my life and stayed there, you know, not
just the day that somebody dies or that you know
someone's unfaithful, or but the days after. I'm very good
at helping people through crises, like that's one of my things.
Because my childhood was a crisis or a crisis. It
was like it was built of many crises. So I

(59:20):
know how to act in an emergency situation. I'm a fixer.
I go in and I man handle the situation, and
I'm like, this is what we're gonna do. This is
what you're gonna do, and I don't leave until my
patient is better. Like, I take it that seriously. But
empathy is actually doing all of those things while imagining
what it's like to be the person that I'm helping. Right,

(59:42):
I'm that's that's something that I never even could grasp. Okay,
but is that also related to the experience you had
when your brother died and your father disconnected? Possibly? I mean, yeah,
I think so. I'm sure it is. Uh, but it's
definitely something that I had to cultivate, you know. And

(01:00:03):
I was like, you know, the minute he said that,
I was like, Okay, where do I get empathy? I
was like, is there an app I can download? He's like, no, No,
this is something that you can work on and cultivate. Like,
you have to start thinking about people and their lives
and their experiences, not just how it relates to you.
Like if somebody at an airport is annoying instead of
you know me, it's like, oh, well, think about where

(01:00:25):
they're coming from. Think about what's going on in their life,
think about their wife or their children. It's like broadening
your understanding of other people, although that's different. You know,
we both know how hard it is to make it
in the entertainment business, and those people may be struggling
through life. But you have to be very one minded
to be successful, and you can't spend that much time

(01:00:47):
with time wasters who are not helping your career. So
there's a little bit of a quid pro quote. I'm
not saying you're untrue, but it's like, say, you know,
my father, you know, used to call these people schnooks,
and you know, it's like you don't want to waste
time with your with the shnooks, etcetera. And I, you know,
I go crazy too. But it's also somewhat there's a
fast lean and a slow lane, and it's interesting to me,

(01:01:08):
you know, it's kind of like, uh, it's the poor
people who give more money percentage wise to charities than
the rich. The poor have more empathy. It's a very
interesting topic. It is a very interesting topic, and it's
valuable to have. It's valuable to you know, to think
about what it's like to be a black person in
this world. If you're a white person, and if you're

(01:01:28):
a white male, to think about what it's like to
be a woman to have to be scared at night
when you walk home. Have you ever had to think
about that, you know, as a black person, have you
ever been scared being pulled over by the police. I mean,
I'm sure, yes, you can say yes to that, but
I've argued with police like more times than I can
count before I was the celebrity, just based on my
own entitlement and based on the fact that I had

(01:01:51):
the right to and guess what, I got off all
the time because I was young and pretty and white. Okay,
uh with the psychia? You know what holds in dreams?
Do you still have? What are your goals? Got a
bad connotation, but you certainly had your own TV show,
You've had contract with Netflix, You've had six very successful books.

(01:02:13):
What does Chelsea Handler want now? Um? Great question. You know,
I think I'm really one of the favorite My favorite
things to do is to shoot documentaries because, like you,
I really enjoy having conversations with real people, not necessarily celebrities,
because I kind of you know, did that for a

(01:02:34):
very long time. But I love documentaries and I love
pushing the envelope, and I love to have thought provoking
conversations that make people like me think more or harder
about a certain subject that they may not be privy to. Um.
And so I'm gonna probably try and do another Chelsea
Does series, which I did for Netflix, which was a

(01:02:55):
set of four documentaries. I did another documentary called Hello Privilege,
It's Me Chelsea for Netflix a few years ago, and
I kind of like that that dynamic, So you know,
I probably will probably that will be my next project.
And then you know, they're developing my book at Universal
to turn it into a TV show, so uh, you know,

(01:03:16):
that's something that I'm excited about acting in it. You know,
I don't know that I'll host a show again. I
don't know that I have that in me again, you
know what I mean. I feel like I'm right now
able to be a little bit more thoughtful about my projects.
So when I do something, it has a little bit
more meaning and heft than my you know, my early years,

(01:03:39):
and that is valuable to me. So sometimes I think
when you take a contract and you're expected to be
on the air five nights a week, you know, the
quality gets diminished. In my experience, and I would like
to be able to put in you know, like high integrity,
high quality stuff. Do you have to put your own irreverent,
humorous personnel or do you think you could do a

(01:04:01):
documentary that was just informative and straight? Oh no, I
always infuse humor. I mean to it, I don't do
anything straight. I mean, there are serious subjects, but I
can still make them funny. You know, you have to
pick and choose your moments, and I think that's an
art in and of itself, um, which is interesting to explore.
I'm never gonna be, you know, like a Diane Sawyer.

(01:04:23):
I'm I'm gonna be a joking about it also. Uh,
but you know there's also an internal dialogue that you have,
Like being on a show as silly as Chelsea Lately,
as entertaining as that was for so many people, you know,
you start to thank, Oh God, is this all I am? Like?
Is this what people think of me? That I can
just sit around and make fun of celebrities. I'm so

(01:04:43):
much more than that. I'm so deep, much deeper. I read,
I'm like educated, I like, you know, I there's so
much more to me politically, social justice, you know, I
so so it was I was very you know, to
hydrated for some series business of my life. It was
a little too silly. I want to be humorous, and

(01:05:04):
I always want to deliver the goods in a comedic
way because it's much easier to you know, take the
medicine if it's funny. But uh yeah, I mean I
always have a comic bent to it. If it's not,
if there's not a dose of a little bit of humor,
it's not appealing to me. Okay, you mentioned a couple
of times readings, So what do you read? M hmm.

(01:05:24):
I just read a book called Getting Over Yourself? The
what was it called? I wrote a book called the
uh Mark Epstein wrote it the Guide to Getting over
Yourself Advice not given, that's what it's called. And then
I just read Kazie David's new book called No One
Asked for This. And then this is an incredible book

(01:05:45):
that I just finished. This is called Past I'm sure
you've heard of it by Isabel will Person and that
I think should be required reading for every middle school. Okay,
but those are all non fiction books. Do you tend
to only read nonfiction or fiction too? No? I read fiction.
I'm in a nonfiction stage, but I read fiction, and

(01:06:06):
if I read fiction, I like classic literature, you know,
like like Lady Chatterly or like um Weathering Heights, like
that kind of stuff that's really escapist, you know. During
this time especially, I just read this autobiography. Oh, this
was a big one that I just read during COVID.
This is an autobiography on Frederick Douglas. You can see that.

(01:06:29):
It's so that's a that was a big book. But again,
I'm in that nonfiction phase because probably because of BLM
and everything that's happened this year, I just feel like
I have to get as as educated as possible. You know.
It's funny. I went to college with people wo end
up being in the book business, and I was a
nonfiction reader, and then they said they only read fiction

(01:06:50):
because it's truer to life, and it's really switched me.
I mean, uh, I gotta kindle once again from my
girlfriend from my birthday in two thousand nine, and I
made a commitment to myself if I bought the book,
I'd finish it okay. And I lived up to that
commitment and I got really into read. I'm a big reader.
I'm reading all day long. Mostly, you know, I get

(01:07:11):
three physical newspapers. People say, why, I'm checking the apps
dozens of times a day, But with the physical newspaper,
you'll see a certain article that you wouldn't see otherwise.
Even though the days of physical newspapers are numbered, I
read the paper every day. I don't read the whole paper,
but I get the New York Times delivered every day
just because I like to support journalism. And you know,
I read about an article or two unless it's Sunday

(01:07:32):
and then I read about seven. Okay, Why is there
any hope for us to convince the Hoi POLLOI that
the New York Times, whatever their criticisms, is the most
authoritative journal on the planet. Mm hmmm, well, I I
would hope that that vibe will come back around while

(01:07:53):
we're still here, you know where where New York Times
was the standard the standard of news, and the Washington
Post not liberal media outlets, which is ridiculous. I agree totally.
The funny thing about it is if you watch any
of the right wing stuff, and I do because I
want to know what the enemy is up to. And
even MSNBC they're constantly quoting the New York Times of

(01:08:15):
the Washington Post, they said, New York Times since the
agenda for the whole world because they have boots on
the ground everywhere, so irrelevant if you talk about spin,
that is how the whole world finds out what's going on.
Not that I can criticize the The Times, but as
I say, certain fiction books, you know, they really resonate
with me. How about TV? You watch a good amount

(01:08:36):
of Well, wait, I have some good fiction books. Let's
talk about my favorite fiction books. House of Mirth is
one of the best books I've ever read. I mean,
I don't know why it's called House of Mirth because
there's nothing funny about it, but it's well, what is
how Samrth? Ring? Ring my bell on? That? How s
the mirth? Who wrote how samrth? Edith Wharton? Okay, I
must admit I'm lacking on the classics. Okay, Anna Karenina

(01:08:59):
by Joy Jeff is the best book ever written. Right
there we go. People who want to dive in, what
translation you read is very important. They've been in the
last thirty years. Have been some great translations. But if
you can find a good one, unbelievable. Yeah, I have
to reread that book. That's something I don't do enough
of is rereading books. You know what I mean? We

(01:09:21):
read a book never, we never we watch a movie. Figure,
life's too short. I could read or watch something new.
But another book, a fiction book that I read. I
read the South Korean author who is beautiful. It's called Pachinko,
which is, if anyone's listening, it is a beautifully. It's
just there's this. There's a whole different flare to like

(01:09:42):
Asian writers and the way they describe things, and it's succinct.
You know, it doesn't go on and on like in
a John Steinbeck kind of way. You know how John
to Steinbeck is a descriptive writer. Right, he can talk
about the leaves on the trees for about forty minutes,
and I'm like, oh, for Fox's sake, can we just
get to some action. I'd agree more you. The number
one thing about a book and writing is it has

(01:10:04):
to be readable. Content is secondary to readability. Once they
get you know, you talk about reading on a kindle,
you download the sample chapter. Once they get super into description,
I'm out. I don't want to being written like a screenplay.
But I read for story. Okay, there are all these
people you know who are the you know, there's there's
no more self righteous artistic enterprise than the book business. Okay,

(01:10:27):
these people are on their high horses. There's a great
book I read. I was just trying to think of
the name of it last year. That is so beautiful
and it's fantastical, which is not my reality. But it
was a New York Times bestseller, and uh, what is it?

(01:10:48):
It was about this? What's a plot about It's it's
hard to describe without sounding stupid, but it's this little
it's a nymph that's living, that lives like for thousands
and thousands and thousands of years, and it's a Greek mythology.
But this is invers Sarcy. Did you read it? No,
everyone's recommended. It was my it was my favorite book.

(01:11:10):
That is my favorite book. You've got to get into
it because the writing is so finely tuned that she
she will end a sentence and you have to put
the book down. You're like, what like she It's like
it's like a clapback, you know, like everything she says
in the last sentence describes, And this woman lives for

(01:11:32):
two thousand years and she goes through all these generations
of people, and she's got a lover and she's got
a son, and it's like the most humane story. But
it's in such a fairy tale, fantastical setting, which I
usually am. Not into this book with Madeleine what's her
name wrote it, Madeline Miller. It's got that that bronze
and black cover. Yeah, read it. Why don't you read

(01:11:54):
that for me? Because and you give me a book
to read and then we can discuss it. Okay, I
got a couple of books for you to maybe we'll
talk off the but um, we'll give me the recommendations
now for your list. What is the name of the
woman ship who wrote the book? Her? The famous book
is about the war in France, And but the one

(01:12:15):
that I really like is about without going through my
kindle library, about the family that moves to Alaska. Uh.
The other thing that I'm going to mention is the trilogy.
You didn't even finish mentioning the first book. I have
no idea what I'm gonna have to look it up,
as I say, you know. Also, unfortunate things reading on
the kindle unless you touch name is in Hildebrand. Hildebrand

(01:12:37):
is the person who does the you know, uh, like
The Horse Story, etcetera. Kristen Hannah, The Great Alone. Okay,
most people have read the previous book which I read after,
which is The Nightingale. I have that downstairs. I haven't
read it yet. Should I read that? Okay? These are

(01:13:01):
easy books to read, and you have to gauge whether
they're highbrow or low brow. One of the reasons I
love the Alaska book is because I'm really into the
winter weather in isolation, when the weather is terrible and
the loots are open, that's when I love to go out.
It's only like me and society. But most people prefer

(01:13:25):
The Nightingale. But there are other books of that can
I read? Should I read The Nightingale first and then
read the Alaska one? That's what most people would do,
so so then I'll do the opposite, okay, and the
English Woman with the trilogy. You'll really dig this Harry Potter. Yeah, right.
If you haven't read House of Mirth, you need to
read that because it's very society based and it's very

(01:13:47):
prescient for what like, nothing's changed. You got to read
this book. This is one book you'll read in a night.
Do you know this book? Group? No? It's a bestseller.
It's a woman who went into group therapy and it
changed your life. Okay, it's very fast read. I'm not
saying necessarily you read because of identified. But she's very

(01:14:10):
honest about her feelings and as I say, it takes
nothing to get into that. Uh. But you know, are
you into somewhat science fiction e type things? Uh? Yeah,
but not No, I'm not really. I don't like that. Okay,

(01:14:30):
because there's a there's a I'm not into it either.
But people love this book blog stars. Okay, all right,
it's not really much science fiction. It's set in the future. Okay,
going through some ship you probably read. I'm not a
big an Patchet fan, But did you read The Dutch House. No,
I don't read the I don't. I don't read that

(01:14:51):
those kinds of books. Like, I'm not into an Patchet
Like I get how power, like how great she is,
but those are not my style. Just so I know,
because I'm not into most of the stuff she does.
What is it about that turns you off? It's just
not my style. I don't feel like i'm learning anything.
Like I like something that's either historical fiction or I

(01:15:14):
like to be thinking that I'm educating myself and I
don't feel like those situations are anywhere near a reality,
you know what I mean. And the dynamics are like,
it's just not like my style of stuff. Okay. Uh,
that one, because I'm not a big fan, is about
a house in a family house. But but but forget that.

(01:15:34):
I found the trilogy Rachel cust let me, Okay, how
do you spell it? Last nime? Well, I'm gonna get it. Okay,
I want to make sure you start with the right one.
But you know what, I think I've probably read like
one an Hatch and Patrick. Listen, I'm not a big fan.
I'm not putting on the top of the list. Just
read this book called Outline, okay by Rachel Cusk see

(01:15:58):
u s K. It is very interior and you will dig.
There's two more that are part of the trilogy. On trilogy. Unfortunately,
the first one is the best. This is not low
brows stuff, but it's not highbrow stuff. You talk about
speaking to someone's feeling the way they experience the world.
It's really good, really good. Oh well, thank you for

(01:16:22):
these recommendations. I say, I certainly have more than that.
But let me maybe we should start a book club.
I'd love to start a book club. I would love
a book club too. I don't have anyone who reads
it like I do in my life. Okay, but let
me ask you a question. With Oprah, she had the
book club and they used to do it on TV. Okay,

(01:16:43):
now she just recommends the book and there's no meeting.
What I want to know to you, is it enough
that other people read the book or do you want
to have a discussion about it. Yeah? I like a
discussion about a book. Okay, I like a discussion. And
I went to college and this is one of the
reasons I stopped being an English major. You know, there's

(01:17:03):
the classical interpretation, they're the metaphors whatever. What I like
most about a book is the experience talking about my
connection with the book. So I don't want to bring
in a facilitator who'll talk about what the first sentences whatever.
I want to talk about how the book made me feel. Yeah.
I think it's a difference between deconstructing a book and

(01:17:23):
actually talking about your experience reading the book, you know. Uh,
and so yeah, I agree with you. I don't need
to know how it's being interpreted or what the classic
analytical you know, analysis is of it. I'm more interested
in discussing what you got out of it and what
other people got out of it that I didn't necessarily. Okay, listen,

(01:17:43):
if you seriously want to do it, I'll do it
with you. And well, can we can we get your
girlfriend to do it? Absolutely? She reads everything I read. Absolutely.
I was saying, I was thinking we should start a club,
but maybe we'll just start at you and me. No, No,
I think we should start it as an alternative to
all the horseship book clubs there are. Okay, so you

(01:18:05):
and me can when announce the book to all of
our followers. But listen, I need you to do because
I do a book club every month for my on
my Instagram where I post nude with my books. The
three books that I've read are recommending that month, and
so you would have to be part of that photo shoot.
Is your girlfriend gonna let you do that? I have

(01:18:25):
no problem with nudity whatsoever. My girlfriend that's a different issue.
But I have no problem with that. Okay, Well, I
think you, you and I should get it started. I'm
book club with Bob left Sets. I think it has
to be fair. I we'll talk to Irving about this. Oh,
I see what you're saying, but I've already started it.

(01:18:46):
So if you're hopping, okay, if I if I jump
into yours with Bob left sets, is fine. If we
start a new one that's different, Okay, well I think
we should okay, right, if we start a new one, okay, Okay,
how did you get hooked up? You started by playing
poker with Shelley. Shelley, No, no, I I met Irving

(01:19:07):
at some event for some documentary for Jerry Jerry win Trump. Yeah, yeah,
I met him there at that screening. Just be stopped there?
Did you know Jerry Win Trump? But you know, peripherally Okay?
With the interesting thing about Jerry unfortunately died, would have
been alive if he'd been in the metropolis is I

(01:19:28):
didn't know certain things that Irving does. I thought he invented,
but they came from the line. You know, Irving, if
you email I need the doctor I need, he loves
to come through. He loves to make you a doctor's appointment.
I can't tell you how many times he's called and
been like sugarman, can see you Immediately, I'm like, hey, Irving,
I know sugarman too. I can get in faster than

(01:19:49):
you can get me. And he's like, no, you can't
let him feel good about himself. But I did. I
thought that Irving invented it, not the yes and take
it to a new place. But Jerry did, They said,
first hour and a half of my day, I made
a big phone calls getting everybody's appointments. Act said. Irving's
daughter does the same thing. She gets everybody, all of
her friends into children's hospital anytime there's a hiccup. Well,

(01:20:12):
you know, I had a friend of mine unfortunately had
a brain tumor. And the first thing he says, the
first thing he says, ask Irving, okay, and we got
the Irving. You know, you get the right doctors. And
that's how my girlfriend got to Elatrosh. You know that
Erosh is awesome. He's a great doctor. Right. But uh,
you met Irving at the screening of Jerry's movie, then

(01:20:34):
how do you max it out with Irving? So I
met him. I was doing the red carpet for the pictures.
I had hung out with Jerry a couple of times,
like he had invited me over with his girlfriend and
I would like go over for a couple of cocktails
and we'd all hang out Susie um. And then he,
you know, his documentary came out and I saw Irving
on the carpet and he and Shelly approached me, and

(01:20:54):
they're like, Irving's like, I love you, I love you.
I'm a huge fan. And I was like, oh my god,
I love your little body, like your a little nugget.
And I was so I thought he was the cutest
thing I had ever seen. And then they invited me
over like you know, for dinners or whatever, and we
became like, you know, they're they're like family now, but
in the beginning, we were kind of instant family because
I come from such a big family that I I

(01:21:17):
work well and operate well within families, like I like
to be the plus one for an entire family. I
like a Jewish family, I like a loud family. I
like a dysfunctional family, and they are dysfunctional, functionally dysfunctional.
So uh, then my E contract, he said, you know,
if you ever need help with business, blah blah blah,

(01:21:37):
And I was on Howard Stern years ago, and I
just kind of blurted out that I was done with E.
Like I'm done. I was going to take a year
off and go travel the world. And I said it
on air, but I hadn't said it to E, and
I thought I had because I had thought it, and
I got into a lot of trouble when I got back.

(01:21:58):
I mean, if you take this industry series slay, which
you know I don't um. They were very mad at me.
He was like, this is a negotiating tactic because your
contract is up. I'm like, it's not. Please don't offer
me any more money, like I'm leaving, I'm done with
this ship. You got like I just wasn't interested anymore,
and they were, you know, when I came back from
that Howard Stern interview, I was in New York obviously

(01:22:20):
at the time when we could travel, and I came
back in and my whole staff was upset with me.
You know, I hadn't said anything to anyone about not continuing,
so I was very insensitive in my kind of thinking.
But he was so mad at me, and the heads
of you were so mad at me that I was like,
I call. I just said, call irving A's off, like
he'll deal with this. And I didn't want to talk

(01:22:42):
to them anymore. And then Irving got involved and from
then on he's been my manager. And now his daughter's
more my manager because she's kind of taken over um
for the most part, but she does my day to
day stuff, you know, because Irving is too big to
do that. Well, certainly too big for the but if
you need Irving to go on the big stuff, there's

(01:23:05):
literally never been a better manager, and there's no one
can make a better deal and his style. What people
don't know, because you know a lot of people talk,
is they don't understand how funny and charismatic he is.
They just see someone they think here, Don Henley says,
you know, you know, he's satan whatever. They don't understand
what's really going on as a big teddy bear. And

(01:23:26):
I'm sure a lot of people who have do not
don't have that experience with him, would disagree with me.
But to me and in my life, he's a little
nugget of love, you know, and he's just like you know,
a godfather to a lot of people. And he doesn't um.
He is one of those people when you need him
to go in and close the deal, like there is

(01:23:47):
no one better to go one better. Yeah. Yeah, So
he's an innovator for sure. Certainly we could talk about
Irving all day. But let's go back to relationships for
a little bit of If I could stop my fingers
right now and say, you're in a relationship. The guy
is good. It's going to last to the end of
your life. Are you in a you out? I'm in?

(01:24:07):
You're in? So you are still looking for to you?
They can't see the air quotes, but Mr Wright, Yeah,
for sure, but you better bring it, like you better
bring something to the table because I don't have enough
for both of us. Okay, but you are fully aware
that this has got loaded the statement, but that you

(01:24:29):
intimidate men? Yes, I am aware. So what did the
psychiatrists have to say about that? Um? You know, it's
all it's partly finding a guy that can tell me
to shut up, you know, that can meet me where
I am and be like, hey, listen, who can put
me in my place? And it's partly toning my behavior

(01:24:50):
down a little bit when I'm getting to know a guy,
but not a lot, because I can't pretend I'm somebody
that I'm not. I mean, obviously the people you know,
you can tell from our conversation just now, Uh, or
maybe you can't. But I'm not very good at pretending
to be something that i'm not. So you're you're authentic, absolutely,
and that is your image, right And I'm waiting for

(01:25:13):
someone to come along who can deal with that. Usually
those men are between sixty and eighty years old, Bob.
They're not my own age, so it's a little bit
more difficult for me. Okay, So since you've had these insights,
anyone been reasonable? Yeah, there's a reasonable guy right now

(01:25:34):
that I am hanging around with. Because I don't know
who he is, what are his what are his flaws?
Because everybody's got flaws. Um, well, I'm not going to
go out and I'm not going to talk about his
flaws because I'm not going to ruin something before it
even gets started. How long has this been going on? Recent?

(01:25:56):
Very recent and more just like a like a hook up,
but somebody who's interesting enough to like you just start.
Let's go back. How did you meet him? Uh? Through
a friend? A friend said, Oh, I have this friend
who's you might like and he lives he's responsible because
it's during COVID And yeah, we've hung out a few
times and I like him. Okay, just to stop there.

(01:26:19):
He'll end up annoying the living ship out of me.
That okay, but let's hold that for a second. A
guy cannot take a recommendation of a date from a woman.
They always say, oh, she's beautiful, whatever. It's a well
known fact. Can a woman take a recommendation from a
woman better than from a guy? A gay guy I

(01:26:42):
would trust more than my gay best friend. I would
trust to set me up with before any of my friends. Um,
but this one, the person who set me up with.
This person is not a good friend. She was just like, oh,
I met the sky the other nighty single. He's cute,
like he seems like right up your alley. And I
was like, oh great, So you know how old is he?

(01:27:03):
I think he's my age? And is he even married before? No,
not that I'm aware. Isn't that you have to get
married before? For I'm about the guys, you have to
marryhim before forty otherwise they're too set in their ways.
M You could argue that for me too, though I'm
pretty set in my like, we gonna argue it with you.
That's the next That was the next question. You say, Okay,

(01:27:25):
you know someone's going to annoy you. What do we
know someone eventually is going to annoy you. Have you
learned in therapy to subsume that annoyance and say, well,
he's definitely annoying me, but the goods outweigh the bads. Here,
I'll tell you what he does that it really attracts me.
Let's go in the opposite direction. After we have sex.

(01:27:46):
The few times we've had sex, he says, I'm leaving
right away, and that makes me very attracted to him
because I really appreciate him understanding that I need my space.
He says. I said that to him, and that was
one of the first things I said. I said, if
you come back to my place, you can't sleep over,
like I don't want to wake up together. I I
have been single for a very long time, and he

(01:28:07):
really like heard me and respects it every time he
comes around. So I find that a very attractive. That's
one thing. Okay, just so I know, how long do
you have to be involved with its man before they
can spend the night. It's been a while, so I
would say a few times. You have to really get

(01:28:28):
to know somebody a little bit. You have to have
a level of intimacy for somebody to spend the night.
There are things that happened in my bedroom from being
alone for a long time, Like I get sandwiches in
the middle of the night. Sometimes I eat a piece
of chocolate. If I wake up to go to the bathroom,
sometimes I'll grab a baby ruth. I have these little
miniature Halloween baby ruths. I have some really gross habits

(01:28:49):
that I don't want any man to be exposed to. Okay,
but when someone does spend the night, do you still
have those behaviors. No, but I haven't spent the night
with somebody since last March. Okay, that's that's only nine
months ago. My point would be, once someone qualifies to
stay the night, do you then we press your behaviors

(01:29:09):
or you say you can stay the night. But this
is me. I'm eating the baby ruth, I'm eating the sandwiches, etcetera. No,
I would use that as a barometer to not have
a sandwich or a baby ruth. If somebody was spending
the night initially in our relationship for the first dozen
times time, like you know, a couple of times, Oh, eventually, yes,
I would get back to my old trick. What's so

(01:29:31):
what's so offensive of getting getting up in the middle
of the night meeting, Well, I bring it back into
the bed. My mother had this terrible habit of eating
in bed. So she was German. She would make these
disgusting liver worsh sandwiches. No, I've never had liver wash,
and I'm with you. I won't eat that either. But
I do love a bagel, locks and cream trees in
the morning just a half because you know I'm on camera, Okay,

(01:29:54):
but just to stop there, can you get a good
bagel in Los Angeles? I've given up on getting a
good bagel in Los Angeles. Now I just toast it
because if you toast it, it disguises the fact that
it's not that good, right, Okay, But back to the
point of the baby, your mother was eating in bed.
So my mom used to have like and she used
to have like a thing of candy in her top
drawer next to her nights in her nightstand, and it

(01:30:17):
would have like almon Joys. That was my mom's favorite,
baby Ruth Snickers, all types of candy, and it's a
it's like it's a thing that I I still do.
I love to eat in bed, like make a sandwich,
get up, get under the covers. Obviously I use a plate,
but it doesn't do that much good. So eventually there
are crumbs everywhere there, like in the bed. It's like

(01:30:38):
bringing sand home from the beach. If they're crumbs in
the bed. Does that gross you out? Or you're fine
with it? You just don't want to have anybody else
experience it? No? I mean right, I'm fine with it,
but it's well, it's it's gross. I'm aware that it's gross,
but I can live with it. But I don't want
to subject another person to it. Okay, other than eating
in bed and leaving crumbs, what else do you do
that's gross? Oh? I mean, and I have so many

(01:31:01):
gross habits, like um god, I mean, I don't even
know where to begin. I spill things a lot. That's
not a habit. It's just being clumsy and always being
a little bit in a rush. But like I mean,
I shaved my face with a with an eyebrow raiser.
I shaved the blonde hairs off my face. I mean,
that's not something I would be embarrassed about. I would

(01:31:21):
do that in front of someone. But what other gross habits?
I mean, just you know, I don't know. Gross. They
usually are food related, like like me taking a bite
of something and having its spill everywhere and then just
like putting the cover, like turning the cover over. Okay,
but are you just w understand analogous to the bed situation.

(01:31:43):
Are you afraid of these things being exposed to a
a man? No, Like, when it comes down to it,
I'll come clean and be like this is that is
adjusting for the man? No? No, no, no, I'm saying
I'll I'm clean, Like, hey, this is me. This is
what you're gonna have to be subjected to, you fucking asshole.

(01:32:05):
Like that's what I would say. So I'm only I'm
only like shrouding the behavior for a little bit, like
the runway into a relationship, and then once I've got them,
I'll just be like, hey, by the way, I'm gonna
have a liver worse sandwich, which I'll never do. But
you know, okay, let you say you're alone forgetting dating.
Are you the type of person like Jerry McGuire has
to constantly be connected with their friends or if you're

(01:32:28):
at home alone at night, that is just fine with you. Oh,
I'm totally fine. I have become a recluse during COVID
to a degree like I enjoy my time alone a
little bit too much. So and if I go to Whistler,
if I do get this gig, which I'm I mean,
it's looking like I may go. I'm gonna be alone
for three months in Whistler. But you told me your

(01:32:50):
your family is coming for Christmas, right, No, they can't
get into Canada because COVID COVID. Do you know enough
people there? I know, I know a few people, but
I'm not I'm not worried about it. I look forward
to it like I look forward. You're going to ski
with an instructor. Yeah, I have buddies to ski with
up there. Okay, well that's well, that solves a lot

(01:33:12):
of the things. But being in a cold area, granted
the altitude is not that high and a high out
to this big issue of suicides and mountain towns. But
if you are in the house and no one comes
to visit you for three months, that is not daunting.
In advance, that's not going to happen. Someone will visit me.
What I have to do is do my two week

(01:33:32):
quarantine alone there, which yes, that's a little bit depressing
to think about that. I can't leave my house, but whatever,
at least I have a house. But I'm trying to say, okay,
once those two, no, it's not too daunting. I'm no,
I'm not going to have anyone not visit me for
three months. That's just not realistic. Well, I'm just saying that,
it's a hypothetical the way you set it up. If

(01:33:53):
you're looking for a blank slate right now, dare you saying, shot,
I gotta book some people. Are you saying, hey, I'll
play it? Why you're in the fum alone? I'm okay, Yeah,
I'll play by air and a fum alone I'm okay. Wow.
Do you think that's the result of growing up in
a big family? What's a result of therapy? I used
to have to have people around all the time, like

(01:34:14):
I used to have people. Yeah, I used to have
I had a friend lived with me, and my brother
lived with me. I had my cousin lived with me.
I was never able to be alone. I had people
around non stop. So this is in a way like
my first foray into adulthood where I'm alone a lot,
and I have to say I enjoy my own company.

(01:34:37):
And why not continue therapy. Well, I don't. I didn't
discontinue therapy. I just think therapy is incremental. It's for
when you need it, and you need to go for
those situations in your life that you're not handling, you know,
in the way that you can. I don't think it
needs to be ongoing. I don't. I certainly don't have

(01:34:57):
the patience to go to ongoing therapy. You know. My
next I think my next step out of therapy was like, Okay,
let me be open minded with dating and start dating.
And you know, the thought terrified me, but I've done it.
And so the thing that I've learned, you know, a
lot about myself is that I'm very reliable, you know,
like I can count on me. And that's been a

(01:35:17):
very big lesson for me because I always, you know,
I always was looking for this male guy to come
in and sweep me off my feet in the way
that my brother did and my father did, you know,
I was kind of idealizing them. And now that I'm
grown up, I've taken care of myself this whole time,
Like there's you know, I've made this living, I've created

(01:35:38):
these adventures, so I have a lot of reliability in
my own ability to provide for myself and entertain myself,
even if it just comes down to me like I'm
down with that. Okay, So you're involved in this relatively
new relationship. No, it's not a relationship. That's an irrelevant

(01:35:59):
what he's listening, he's gonna be We're in a relationship. Okay.
The do you think the shrink might have insights into
the interaction with this man that might be educational and
beneficial if it becomes a serious relationship. Absolutely, at this
stage of the game, it's not necessary. Well, I'm someone

(01:36:20):
who's going I you know, at this point, I still
go two times a week. I went for years three
times a week, and I learned. I learned. I have
long history with therapy, and I'm a big believer that, uh,
the right therapist is key. And like Howard, you know,
I believe in a in a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.
The person I've been with sin and I was in

(01:36:41):
a really bad place, is radically different from anybody I've
seen before. Because traditionally people call their shrinking a crisis.
I would never call my shrink in a crisis. I
did a few times, all he'll say is it sounds
like we have a lot to talk about. See a Wednesday.
So I have learned how to become self reliant. It

(01:37:03):
is also more akin to analysis. He would never tell
me what to do, and I've had bad experience before
that with therapists telling me what to do. But the
gradual things have really changed my life. And maybe as
a Jew with sometimes aggressive elements of her personality, you'll
understand this. So he said, what do you want out

(01:37:27):
of an interaction? And he says, do you know how
many UH clubs are in a golf bag? Do you
happen to know that? They're fourteen? Okay? And there's the
driver for long distance and there's the putter. He says,
you get to choose which club you want to use
and to get what you want to get out of it.

(01:37:49):
Sometimes you're so piste off you don't give a ship
what the reactions. You whip off the driver and say
fuck you. But I've learned it. There are a lot
of times persons a prick whatever. And I said, I'm
dying to tell them her prick. But I'm not. It's
not that I'm afraid to tell them there prick but
I say, after I tell them a prick, is this
gonna work for me? Or is it going to leave

(01:38:10):
me in a lesser position. Well, that's a very selfish
way of looking at it. I mean, it might be
nice to just not call somebody a prick because it's
unnecessary even if they are. Wait wait, wait, wait, wait.
Everything you're saying is true on the surface. But as
you use the example of talking about the show on
Howard Stern, you're someone who does not intellectualize before she speaks.

(01:38:32):
That's not true. That's not true. That's my history. But
I would say that I'm much better now. Listen, I
have no problem going off on somebody and not caring
about the repercussions. But now I look at people in
a softer way, like I feel like people are really struggling.
If someone's just a dick. Yes, I have no problem saying, listen,
you're a dick. But I guess, like you, I was

(01:38:55):
always just saying what I felt, and I found that
I could intellectualize and have a better experience. Yeah. Well,
it's good to say what you feel, but sometimes it's
only beneficial for you, you know, Like, is it necessary
always to insert your opinion. I found that it's not
even though that's the same thing. People make a mistake.

(01:39:17):
You can't come to what I believe. I believe that like, oh,
I'm telling people the truth, I'm doing them a favor.
It's like, m hmm, I'm not necessarily in charge of
all people. Okay, And do you watch a lot of
uh streaming television? Yeah? What am I watching right now?
I just watched The Flight Attendant on HBO Max. I

(01:39:37):
watched Are They Undoing? Did you watch that on HBO Max? No,
I'll tell you why. My girlfriend watched it. I can't
watch anything that they dribble out week by week. Makes
me crazy. I just like to binge. Yeah, I like
to binge too. I I when I see it like that,
I'm like, oh ship, So I'm like you. I watched
The Crown that was That was actually not as good

(01:39:58):
as I thought. I thought the other seasons were better.
I guess the first season turned me off. I thought
it was like watching paint dry. Other people say it's best,
but I haven't gone back to it. I'm too far behind. Yeah,
well you can catch up. You know, it's COVID. You've
got nowhere to go. Yeah, but you know, I'm busy,
and as I say, there are a lot of great shows.
We're watching a really good one right now. Do you
know this show from France, the Bureau. Oh yeah, I

(01:40:21):
watched that a long time ago. Right. Isn't that an
old show that's on brit Box. Uh, it's part of
it was on brit Box or five seasons, the most
recent season. Now it's on Sundance. But it's the French
ci A wait, wait, oh no, I haven't. I'm thinking
of something else. Say it again. Okay, let's talk about
streaming recommendations. Wait, wait, wait, say the name. I'm not

(01:40:41):
going to forget that one. That's the Bureau. Just tell
me there. Okay, but it's Sunday. Have you watched Happy Valley? Yes?
I love listen, I love British shows like that. Those
are my like standard bearer of good television is like
Happy Valley. And God, there's a million British or Scottish

(01:41:02):
or Irish detective shows that are just so much better
than the ones we get here. You know, Happy Valley
was one that was a really good one. Then there
was the one was Charlotte Rampling. What was that called?
Remember if she plays the Lawyer. You saw that, Yeah,
she's great, and the other one was still in Stars Guard.
There's like a bunch of then the other one where

(01:41:23):
the guys got the bomb in the train. There's like
six of those. Okay, another blue chip? What about the Bodyguard?
Did you watch that? Oh? Absolutely good? Yeah, that was
a good one. Okay, here's one for you. This is
a blue chip. You know, the show Spiral. It's a
French detective show, the most successful show in Europe since
the first episode is like two thousand and eight. The

(01:41:44):
production values are not quite as good, but it increases.
It's phenomenal. So where do you find these two shows,
the Bureau and Spiral? What I do? Hey, I told
you I only binge b I don't believe in the algorithm.
So before I watch anything, I do a lot of research, okay,

(01:42:05):
and the definitive research is rotten tomatoes. I will not
watch anything with less than an eight percent uh good reading.
Life is too short? Yeah, yeah, right, right, roten tomatoes.
I just want to go on the record and say
doesn't apply to stand up specials because mine was at
twelve percent because no one had gone there to rate it.

(01:42:26):
So I don't know there are that show. There's definitely
I've looked up shows there are no rating or there's
a credit rating. But the New York Times last year
put out the forty best streaming Foreign streaming television shows.
Oh yeah, that is my Bible. Unbelievable. The Bureau was

(01:42:48):
number three, number one. I don't know if you know.
It's like Irving, Irving. I turned Irving onto Fauda. You
watch Fauda. Well, these some of these is really show.
You know. Here's a show, you know, on the verge
of Hannaka. Uh the are you gonna light the candles? H? No,
I'm not No, I'm not either Unorthodox. Did you watch Unorthodox? Okay,

(01:43:13):
of course I watched Unorthodox? Did you watch shrew Geen? Uh? No? Okay,
this is a really good one. It's on Amazon. S
R g U I am. And it's about these modern
Orthodox people in Jerusalem. They're they have regular jobs, they're
obeying all the you know, uh prescriptions, but they're looking

(01:43:36):
for Mr. And mss right. One is a doctor. One
is this It's really good? S aren't you? S s
r U g I mka are you g Well? I'm
glad you spelled it. What does that spell something in Hebrew.
I can't remember exactly, but if we go to the top,
put spiral. Now jumping to the other side, the number

(01:44:00):
one show they had was called Prisoners of War. It
is an ordeal. It's slowered first, but it is utterly amazing.
But but you're still not telling me where to find
these Okay, prisoners of War. I believe it's on Hulu okay.
And then what about the Bureau Bureau is on a

(01:44:20):
Sundance Okay. And then there's another great French show called
a French Village, which is about you know, I don't
know if you're like me, I can never get enough Nazis.
But uh, it's the Nazis taking over a town in France.
Now listen, Irving likes very fast paced stuff, so I
have to ask you, there are some of these things

(01:44:41):
that are slower paced like Irving. I'm not like Irving.
Irving has an attention span of a mosquito. I don't. Okay,
that is a cornucopia of shows. Oh, and what is
the Icelandic show. I've seen that Icelandic show, But wait,
what's the one that takes place in at that French
ski resort at the on that beautiful lake and the

(01:45:03):
background and it's a detective show, but it's the backdrop
is that beautiful lake? Oh you're talking about Top of
the Lake. No, no, no, not Top of the Lake.
That was good too, though. Uh we're not talking about
the Avalanche movie which was remade. No no, no, not
that man. You're talking about the series, a detective series
and it takes place in a French town on a
lake and it's called Lake something and it's not coming

(01:45:26):
to me right now. It was great. You know, I've
really watched almost did you watch The Returned which was
also on That's not something I really highly recommended. Also
another Israeli show with a less than stellar ending, but
good on Netflix, When Heroes Fly. Oh I've never heard
of that. Yeah, when Heroes Fly. Okay, well these are

(01:45:49):
a lot of good recommendation. Thank you, Bob. I got
this is my thing because I don't want to waste
a minute on television. Okay, I have to zero just
like with you and the drugs, I have to zero
in on what people's tastes are. I'll tell you two
other shows that are so good but may not be
up your ally. One is called Bonus Family, on Hulu.

(01:46:13):
It's a sweetish show about a blended family. On the surface,
not interesting, but in reality it's about all the interactions
of the different families. On the same tip, there's the
A word on Amazon, which is you ever been to
the Lake District in England? In England? Yeah, yeah, I'm

(01:46:36):
in Manchester multiple times. They're in the Lake District. It
is so beautiful. This is about people live in the
Lake District find out their kid is autistic. You know
these are This is humanity involving relationships. But so Spiral
is a cop show better than any American cops show. Okay,
and what is Spiral on Spiral? I think the first

(01:46:58):
season is free on am is on then you have
to buy Mega Hurts MHz, although it tells you right
there what you have to do. All right, Well, I
have a lot of assignments from this podcast. I have
a lot of books and television to get. Okay, as
I say, I don't want to ultimately overload you, but
if you can, I'm the most reachable person ever because

(01:47:19):
my email addresses my email address. If you email me,
I'll give you a more comprehensive thing with the books
and the shows. But the two books I recommended, etcetera.
As I say, there are some other books this guy
Gary Steinart, Oh, Gary Steinart, Super Beautiful loved Suit, super
trad love story. How did you like that? Um, that's

(01:47:42):
not my style of book either, But I I can
appreciate that. But I don't know. Super sad true love Story.
I've read it. I thought it was overrated. But the
most recent one, I've read all of them because is
so good. The guy goes on it's an investment baker
who goes on ha gira over the whole country looking

(01:48:02):
for his old girlfriend and stuff like that. As I say,
it's in a similar stole, but this works or the
other one, I don't. I think I rean passed. Did
you read all of kit Ridge? The woman in Maine
who's icon of clastic didn't know. I have not read that.
Put this like this is well known't you? It's olive
and you spelled kit Ridge. I know how to spell that.

(01:48:24):
I've seen it. K I T T E R. As
many people would say, ari e oh, I say, okay,
I didn't notice. Okay, that's that's just a blue chip,
you know, like some like Happy Valley. Everybody loved that
and it's not low brow. Oh I read happy that.
Oh you oh you mean that's a show? No? No,
there was also for a funk the HBO Show with

(01:48:47):
Francis McDorman. But you want to read the book, the
only book. There's only a couple of appreciate you using
that kind of language, Bob. Okay, there's only a couple
of movie these that are better than the book because
of Dylan selling his stuff. Do you ever read any
of of Michael Chayban's books. They're really highly reviewed. First

(01:49:11):
one first one is Mysteries of Pittsburgh. Then there's the
one about the Golem and all this stuff. I can't
get into him, but I've read a lot of them.
Wonder Boys. The movie is better than the book, which
is the Forrest Gump. I think the movie was better
than the book or tantum out to the book because
they executed that very well. Did you read the book

(01:49:32):
before or after you saw the movie? I read the
book after and then Jaws I think also was a screenplay. Yeah,
I guess this is you know, he this is guy
is a highly revered you know, it's real. I hate
to use the term l like literature. Okay, We've covered
a lot of subjects. We've covered skiing, We've covered books,
We've covered irving, We've watched TV show, We've talked about

(01:49:55):
your relationships. I don't want to be overbearing here, but
it's fascin eating to talk to someone who's intelligent, has
an opinion and is not afraid to verbalize it, and
is also unafraid to challenge somebody. So uh, I think
we've come to the end of the feeling we've known.
But I want to thank you so much for doing

(01:50:16):
this well. It was a pleasure of spending two hours
with you. This is the longest podcast I've ever done. Well,
As I say, that's why I would stop. We could
go for another couple of hours, like Joe Rogan, but
I don't think. I think they'll be diminishing returns for
our I think so too, especially if you yeah, I'm
gonna go in there. I'm just gonna take a shower
and stead until next time. This is Bob left Things

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Bob Lefsetz

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