July 6, 2025 • 52 mins
FEELING THINGS WITH AMY & KAT: Amy and Kat explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) pressures women feel and how easy it is to get caught in the cycle of “doing all the things” to feel worthy. Inspired by the book Rich Girl Nation, Kat breaks down the idea of the “hot girl hamster wheel” and what it’s costing us (not just financially, but emotionally!) They talk about the power of opting out or just simply learning to do something because you actually WANT to do it (and you can afford to do it) not because you feel like you have to!
Also in this episode:
• The “choose your hard” list you didn’t know you needed
• Embarrassing moments that shouldn’t be embarrassing
• A listener’s card-free journal tradition that could be a Hallmark movie
Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just wontes Amy and Cat gotcha come and
locking m brother, ladies and folks, do you just follow
Anna spirit where it's all the phone over real stuff
to the chill stuff and the m but Swayne, sometimes
the best thing you can do it jes stop you
(00:25):
feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling. Thanks. I'm Amy and.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I'm Cat and I am starting with the feeling of
the day. I'm feeling relieved.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Oh. I don't know what you're relief from. But you know,
my favorite thing about relief whenever I hear relief or relief, like,
I exhale. So it's like, to me, relief is permission
to exhale. Yeah, you made it exhale.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well I actually did do that. Okay, So I'll get
into why I'm relief. But at the same time, my
relief comes with a lot of excitement. It's a lot
of convoluted stuff. I was in my therapist's office talking
about it this past week and she said, like, what
does that bring up for you or what does that
feel in your body or something along those lines. Very therapisty,
and I said, I feel like I can just breathe.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Really, yeah, I did not know. Obviously, I don't even
know exactly what you're gonna say. And I had no
idea that you had that moment with your therapist. But
it's so true.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's just the gift.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Like we sometimes you talk about the gifts or the
impairments of a certain feeling, and relief is just such
a good one, because yeah, it's just an ex sail. Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
And so it was funny as I was talking to
her because I was so excited and I was like
talking so fast. I was like, I feel manic and
at the same time I feel relieved. It was just
like this weird dialectic, like two things happening at once.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well, so what are we relieved about?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yes, we want to exhale. Tell you, are we going
to exhale with you? Maybe? Because at the same time,
this brought up a moral dilemma for me. So this
is a mixed bag, But the biggest feeling is relief
when I sit down with it. So I was reading
this new book called Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gaddie Tassin.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Katie Gaddy Tassin Gaddy tussin.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I might be those are two two last names. I
might be saying it's not hyphenated, it's just double.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
She's a double last name.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I don't know if one of them's her maiden name,
or maybe her name is Katie Gaddy. I don't know,
and I think it's toss enough. I'm thinking about it anyway.
Her instagram is at Money with Katie. If you're not
following her, highly recommend it. She is a finance expert,
but she specializes in helping women with finance, and she
(02:37):
originally was in marketing, and so she also talks a
lot about the psychology around money and finances and women
and the economy and all that. It looks like you're
about to yawn. Are you tired, I'm just like money finance.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
No, actually, I think I yawned because I woke up
really early. I'm intrigued. I actually just thinking my mind, like, oh,
I'm very interested in following her or seeing what she's
about because in the last two years or so, I've
taken over my money, my finances, and I've had to
learn a lot of things. Yeah, a lot because of
(03:15):
seventeen years of marriage of not being involved in that
by choice. It's not like I was married to someone
that was like, you can't be involved. I was like, yay,
you handle all that. I'm scared of it, so I'd
like to avoid it. And what I now know is
that it's very empowering to know. Information is empowering. The
knowledge is empowering, and knowing every detail of my life,
(03:36):
even though sometimes it can be overwhelming, at the end
of the day, it's information. Information is power. And I'm
sure she's full of helpful things for me.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
When you say you are scared of it, do you
know like.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It was because my dad he had a lot of
highs and lows bus money.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay, So I recommend her because she doesn't talk down
to people. Know how some finance people can be so
confusing they use all this lingo. She uses some of
the lingo, but her book I think anybody could pick up.
She has a podcast too. The book is really great
because I think it's high level, covering stuff that then
on her podcast and stuff she goes into deeper, which
(04:14):
can be overwhelming. But her whole point is like money
is power, and historically women haven't been in charge of
money and they've had harder time making money and creating
financial freedom and wealth, and so she wants to help
women understand that they can do it. And she's also
self taught because again she was a marketing major. So
(04:34):
that is in itself, I think helpful to hear that, like, Okay,
she taught herself this. That means that, like I can
have somebody help teach me this. It's never too late,
never too late.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
That's that's one thing I've Yeah, in my mid forties,
I'm like, oh wow, you know, and I still have
more to learn. And I also just want to say
about my yawn, Like I've been thinking about the yond
that we've talked about this on the podcast, and that's
just me sending oxygen to my brain so that I
(05:04):
can absorbed. We know it's not always because somebody is
bored and tired.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, so now if your therapist ever yawns in your
session with you, you can have some compassion for her. Okay,
So disclaimer, I've only read two chapters of this book.
You've only read two chapters. And when I say read,
I mean listen to because I'm an audible girl.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So in the first two chapters, you already have this
sense of relief.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes, of Okay, what exactly I know, I'm really giving
you the long winded story of this. So in the
beginning of the book, she talks about this thing that
I've heard her talk about on podcasts and on Instagram about.
I think she coined this the hot Girl hamster wheel.
So she describes a hot Girl hamster wheel as all
of the things that you kind of put into this
(05:50):
basket of different beauty things that you get done or
stuff that you buy that allows you to be a
end quote girl that gives you power and I think
confidence in the world. So in her Hot Girl hamster wiel,
that would be like facials, getting her hair highlighted, getting eyelashed, extensions,
(06:11):
buying makeup, buying certain clothes, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Oh, I don't get my nails done.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well, this isn't a competition, but I also do my
own nails.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But before you started doing your own, like you, getting
your nails done was part of your.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It was myself part of myself maintenance, which I always said,
I do not like the process of getting my nails done, Like,
I don't enjoy it. I don't like going and sitting there.
I don't like I mean, it's not relaxing like a
social is relaxing.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I don't like getting my nails stone. Yeah, And I
was only pointing that out because I feel like, when
you're going to run through this, at least what I
was getting from the Hot Girl Hams girls, I'm like, shoot,
I do that. Shoot, that's okay, that's okay, yeah, because
you're feeling relieved and right now I'm feeling like nervous shame.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh okay. So I hope that this in turn will
just bring agency to people, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Because I'm also we should address that I'm wearing a
hat today because I had my brows worked on yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And maybe part of this is yeah, part of this
can be part of the hot girl hamster will fore you.
But I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong, thank you.
So just clock that. I think that's important information. Clock that,
like I already feel shame that I'm doing this. That's
part of the whole problem here, Okay, Okay. So she
talks about this stuff, and she's talking about this at
(07:32):
a time where she was first getting into finance and
like learning about budgeting. So when she was in her
early twenties, she was probably making like sixty K. She
started a budget for the first time, and she wanted
to see what all of her expenses added up to.
She did all of those like hot girl expenses. She
added them all up and then divided them and then
(07:54):
figured out at how it came out monthly, and she
was spending over three hundred dollars a month on all
of that stuff. And the way she described that stuff
happening is she was like, I would feel bad about myself,
and then I would schedule all these appointments, and then
I would go to these appointments thinking that this is
going to be the thing that makes me feel better,
(08:15):
this is going to be the thing that gives me confidence.
I need this thing so then I can go out
into the world and get what I want, whether that'd
be relationships, friends, job, whatever. But she said when she
would have that feeling of dread and she would go
schedule these appointments, she would have a whole day of
self care. But really it's just buying stuff. She would
get increasingly anxious with each swipe of her credit card,
(08:38):
like spending money that she really didn't have on these
things that she felt like she needed to feel okay.
And the problem is two weeks later, some of that
stuff would wear off. You would have to go back
and reget your eyebroils threaded, redo your lashes, read like
every six weeks, update your roots like all of that.
This is probably before roots were in.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So that's her being on the perpetual wheel.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah. And so she was like, I'm going to see
what I want to see. What spending all this money
is stealing from me? Because it really the benefit she
wasn't getting that much. It was like this temporary relief
that she felt like she had to then keep going.
So she put the three hundred dollars. She basically, I'm
new in the finance world, but she used a compounding
(09:22):
interest big word, compounding interest calculator to see if she
invested that money over forty years, what would that leave
her in retirement. It was a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And so to some people a million dollars wouldn't be
that much money, but to somebody who's making sixty thousand dollars, like,
that's a lot of money. And her thought was like,
these things that I don't really care about but I
feel like I have to do are stealing my financial
freedom for me. And part of that is connected to
(09:57):
the oppression of women, where you don't see men being
pressured to have all the same like hotgirl things like
Patrick gets a twenty dollars haircut every couple months at
like great clips. Like he doesn't care where he goes.
He'll go to a new place every time, it doesn't matter.
And he doesn't have a skincare routine. He doesn't wash
his face, he lets water run down it in the shower.
(10:20):
He doesn't even use a bar of soap to wash
his face, just water. And he has perfect skin, like
he doesn't have to have any special kind of clothes
like for men, they're already so much higher on the
ladder to wherever you want to go, especially in business
and work, that they don't have to look the same
way or keep up the same kind of appearance as women.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
So like at his job, he doesn't need to look
a certain way in order to get promoted.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
No, he's a man, that's enough, right, And she looked
at the statistics again read the book because obviously this
I'm giving you.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Just read the first two chapters.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Read the first two chapters. But she talks about like
all the statistics of like the wage gaps and what
that looks like. And also like, this is really sad
that they have done studies on like the attractiveness of
women and their ability to make money and their ability
to get promoted. That's like just a sick, weird research.
(11:19):
What do you call experiment to conduct? Like Oh, we're
going to rate these women's attractiveness and then see so
but they've done that.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I don't want to be in.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I don't want to be in that, but they've proved that,
like it does matter what you look like. And so
that's where I was feeling, like multiple things, and I
was a little bit like bummed, and then I was
because it's like, well, I don't want to be on
this wheel, but also like I want a promotion or
I want to be successful, and it feels like you
have to pick one or the other. But what I
(11:47):
came to is I read it and I was listening.
I listened to it right before I was going to therapy,
So I was like, really hot in my mind? Is
this like feeling of liberation? I was like, oh, this
is like a act of dollion almost that like I'm
not going to play this game anymore when it comes
to stuff that I don't care about. Now there are
(12:07):
people that love doing makeup, love it like they love it,
love it, love it. It's so much fun for them.
It's kind of a chore for me. Like I like
to do it every now and then, but most days,
I just like to put my sunscreen on intended sunscreen
and some bronzer and head the door. So it's like
liberating for me to say, like I don't need to
(12:28):
go buy all that stuff at Sephora because that doesn't
actually matter to me, Or like the nails, like me
saying I'm not going to go get my nails done
and spend one hundred and fifty dollars every two weeks
on something that I don't really care about when I
can do it myself and I actually enjoy doing them myself.
Or I was talking to Patch about this. I just
(12:48):
booked a hair appointment and I was like, maybe I'll
just like not get my hair colored. I'll just get
it cut because it happens. Yeah, It's like I've just
always been getting my hair colored. And it used to
be fun because I used to like diet silver and
like purple and stuff like that, and that was kind
of fun. But like I don't know, like it's not
that fun to get for me.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I see. That's what I'm hearing is for you, you're able
to dictate. It's been empowering because you're like, Okay, I
have agency over what I want to do. I'm not
going to just do it because it's what's expected of me.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Well, and because other people may really enjoy they love
their hair, they love their not like you said, they
love the makeup, or they enjoy getting this doneder their skin,
and financially they can do it. There's not this anxiety
that maybe comes with like every swipe of like oh
shoot yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But if I'm feeling this anxiety of like I'm spending
my resources on this and it's a temporary high, and
I also feel like I have to, it's like, well
you don't have to, Like we can take some agency back.
I think what I'm getting and I'm again just in
the beginning of it, but just seeing how the like
(14:00):
beauty and wellness industry, a lot of it this is
not blanket. So I think that's why I want people
to hear that this is not all or nothing, but
a lot of it has been created and sustained in
order to oppress women. So for me to say that
like I don't need that feels really good and almost
like I knew I didn't like that. Like when I
(14:21):
was hearing her talk, I was like, yeah, I don't
like doing that, Like I don't want to do that anymore.
And yes, that's going to come with discomfort because I
then have to know that that could there could be
a consequence because not everybody's going to be in that
boat with me, and I might have moments where I'm like, well,
I do kind of feel everybody else has their botox.
(14:43):
I'm like, their foreheads look pretty good. Like that's one
thing that I noticed, and I see like a lot
of people that like do have these perfect looking like
you know, when you get botox in your forehead, it's
just so pretty.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Trust me, I know, and I ass it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So but like when I'm not around it, I'm okay.
But when I I see it, then I'm like, now
I feel different. So I know that that's going to
be there, But right now that's not overweghing this like, yeah,
I don't feel empowered when I go to get it.
Some people might.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, I think we were talking about that. I was
getting comfortable with my wrinkles the other day. And I
truly am like there's a time whenever I was really
into my boatox because I got it for yeah, well
over ten years if there was the slightest movement or sprinkle,
and I still thought in my mind I was getting
minimal amounts. But then the more I went over the years,
(15:34):
the more it felt like I was getting and the
less it was working. So that's where maybe there's some
discomfort with spending because I'm like, oh, this seems to
be heading up. This is just more and more and
more each time, But then you get used to looking
that way, and then it took me a while to
get used to now looking back the other way. But
I also think I have I take better care of
(15:55):
my skin, even when I did before I got botox.
So maybe you know who, I'm not giving up my
skincare routine. That's not happening.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Well, that's important to me. Well, so the reason that
this also felt so like I gets safest of word
that's also coming to me, like hearing her say this
is she was like, I'm not telling anybody to not
do any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, because I'm still gonna get certain officials, and I
just got the I'm still trying to figure out my eyebrows.
I'm on a journey. And I was talking to my
lash extension girl, which I will still get those about.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Do you think you could do eyebrow.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Extensions and like glue little Oh my god, she said
she ordered some noa I'm in be your guinea pig.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Okay, so I'm but you're going to keep you stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
No pressure to anybody else to get it. But for me,
like I don't really have a lot of hair there,
and I've learned how to draw them on. Yes, but
now what do I do when I go swimming?
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Keep your head above water? Or you just embrace it?
You just embrace it.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And I'll be like, I know that before I went underwater,
I had broads, and I know when I emerged from
the water that I did not.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But she said, like what she was doing, she didn't
just stop getting all that stuff. She just kind of addressed, Okay,
what stuff do I care about and what do I not?
And she tested things out, like she even made a joke.
She was like, I wasn't going to just stop getting
highlights in my hair, Like I still wanted to do that,
but I think she stopped doing her eyelash extensions, or
(17:19):
maybe it was like her eyebrow threading. It was one
of them, and or she said she stopped getting her
extensive facials. And she was like, and I got a
manageable skincare routine that fit in my budget. She's like,
it's not that I wasn't doing any of this. I
just realized that, like, I can fit these things in
my budget and then realize the things that like I
don't care about, I get to throw those out.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
So I just was like, that is a relief to
like know that, oh, you get to do that. I
don't have to you don't have to stay on the wheel.
You get to exit the ride and then decide what
you want to do. And I like that she put
it that way, and you're reiterating that it's not that
she's saying any of this stuff is bad or we
(18:01):
shouldn't be doing it, but just understand what's behind it
and the root of a lot of it, and then
step back and decide what you want to do for yourself. Yeah,
And I would even encourage, like, just play around with
that a little bit, because you never know how you're
going to feel. I didn't know how I was going
to feel until I stop eating the boatox. And guess
what if I go to get botox again because I'm
not anti it, or I decide to get something else again,
(18:24):
Like I hope I'll be coming from a place of
like I put a lot of thought into this and
ultimately this is what I want to do, and I'm
doing it for me and to be honest in my profession,
I do feel a lot of pressure with that. And
I am only getting older and it is my job
and I am on camera a lot, and I'm interviewing
artists and app functions where yes, my name coming up
(18:47):
to be considered to host this, or why don't we
have Amy Brown do that? And then it's like, yeah,
we have you. She's look at her eyebrows, shit, cau,
you're getting boat talks, or she's aged like let's go
with the younger girl, or you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Know, yeah, but that's okay too.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I'll also there's enough room for everybody, so then I've
got to find my space. But there is that and
that fear that creeps up in there to your point
of like opportunities come when we're taking care of ourselves. Yeah,
but it's a big conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, and I'm sure I'll hear more of this as
I continue the rest of the book. But I also
think I would be remiss not to say I think
the world, and we've talked about this on the show before,
women are in a tough place because I think also
the world kind of not demonizes, but they make women
feel silly for caring about things that like the world
has told women to care about exactly. Yeah, it's like
(19:44):
you're damned if you do you damned. Yeah, it's like, oh,
you're going to spend money on that. But then if
you don't spend money on it, they're like, oh you
look old, yeah, or like oh you care about that
the like you care about shopping and clothes and this
and that. It's like, well, that's what you groom women
to care about that stuff, Like that's what society tells
women that they should care about. And then they care
about that stuff, and then they're like, oh, you're silly,
(20:04):
you're not smart. You're men care about financing, women care
about shopping.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Like I will say, more and more men are getting
hair transplants in Turkey. Yeah, oh yes, yes, like, I
know multiple people that have gotten it done, most recently
in Turkey. In Turkey, I was just an appointment the
other day. Can't say who or what because I'm sure
he wouldn't mind. Obviously, you know it's a man, because
we're talking about man. And he's like, well, you know,
(20:31):
I just go back from Turkey, and I could tell.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I was like his hair, like, you went to Turkey.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I didn't know if we went to Turkey, and I
didn't know for surfy got a hair transplant, but I
knew something was up. And he was like, oh, yeah,
I went to Turkey. And I was like, shut up,
tell me more. Did they do eyebrows?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
And he's like, I bet they do.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
And I was like, okay, I'm not going to Turkey
to get an eyebrow transplant. But uh, people in Turkey, Yes,
it is more affordable and way faster, Like they have
a whole team. He said, it was so crazy. They're
so efficient over there, whereas here you might go to
a doctor and there's like one person working on you
and it may take like all day. Over there, there's
a whole team of people and you'll be in and out.
(21:09):
So where is here a doctor might do a procedure
or two a day. Over there, they can knock out
ten people in a day, so they can make it
more affordable. Wow. And he said it's one of the
best decisions he ever made. And he was just feeling
really self conscious about the loss of his hair. And
then Joel McHale was on a podcast recently talking about it.
You know the guy from the soup and.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
From the soup from the scenes. Has he done anything.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Else the animal something? Animal control? Is that not right?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
You had an animal show?
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I don't know. I feel like I read in an
article when I saw the podcast sing something about animal control.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Okay, but I know him from the soup.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
So he said that he's had four hand hair transplants
over the years. I think because with a technology, the
evolution of the project, I want a better I need
to get a better one, because he started off with
one process and it's like, oh, you've advanced it. So
he said, he said four in total. I mean in
his hair is looking.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I feel like his hair has always looked pretty thick.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
No, whenever I googled it to look it up, because
this is something I didn't even know. We were talking
about this we talked about this on the Bobby Bone Show,
and so I googled it when we were talking about
it there, and I saw the pictures. Wow. And so
that's what also has hair transplant from being top of
mind that he wanted to be transparent about his transplants,
(22:27):
and I was like, good for you, But I don't
think that everybody has to be open and transparent about
everything they've done, although that has been a thing right
now with like Kylie Jenner did that with her boob job.
Like some girl on TikTok was like, Kylie, I just
saw your boobs and I'm about to get a boob job,
and I just like to know exactly what you had
done because they are perfect. And so Kylie just responded, Hey,
(22:50):
I got seas and triple a little bit. I don't
know the lingo, but she gave every detail that her
doctor did half under the muscle, half over, I don't know.
And then the girl on because the girl on TikTok
had gone viral and there's Kylie. Yeah, so I guess
she took that information and probably did a lot of
other people. They look really good. Uh, they took that
information and then they probably went to their doctor, but
(23:12):
everyone was praising the fact they thought it was so
cool that Kylie was just transparent about it. And yes,
I think it's cool to be transparent if you want
to be, and then if you don't want to be.
There's also a difference between what what are you guys
seeing that? Well?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I just think that that becomes problematic, Like when we
were talking about like the face fitness stuff, Like if
somebody's saying, like, all I do is wash my face
and use this serum and I look like this and
behind the scenes they're getting botox and filler and I've
had a facelift, That's okay, that's true. I guess I'm
talking to like the normal.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, every like like we're not We're not gonna lie
about it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I think there's a difference in like privacy and then
like lying.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Okay, they're privacy and secrecy, but what like what if
you did want to do something a little more drastic
to your face and you really it is a personal
decision and you don't want anybody to know, but you
get flat out asked by it on a public space.
Are you supposed to what are you supposed to do?
(24:25):
It is a personal decision. And you don't want anybody
to know, but you get flat out asked by it
on a public space. Are you supposed to what are
you supposed to do? But you didn't want to talk
about it.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I think I probably would find a way to like
answer the question but not answer it. I played the
fifth but something, you know how. I think celebrities in
general get coached on how to avoid those kinds of questions.
I think it becomes a problem when like you are
promoting one thing, like I'm promoting the skincare product, but
I didn't get this skin from this product. I got
(24:57):
this skin from surgery, right or something more that is problematic.
I could debate this both ways from my own mind.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
You know, have you seen there's a plastic surgeon. I
don't know, he's out of la but he had a funny, little,
real mean thing the other day. He was filming one
of his colleagues who's a female plastic surgeon, and it's
like those the meme videos where it's like, you know,
she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to, you
know the thing. It's like a trend. Oh yeah, but
(25:25):
he doesn't know it yet, but she's about well, but
this one he did it with her, Well, normally they're inspiring.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh, I get the depressing one, the one she doesn't
know yet, but she's about to like touch the seashell
and become paralyzed. Oh my god, Yeah, that's what I get.
What's wrong with.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Cad. I get the like she doesn't know it yet,
but she's about to embark on the greatest journey and
like ever in her life is going to change. She's
going to meet the man of her dreams.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Mind's like, she doesn't know it yet, but her she's
gonna walk in on her boyfriend cheating on her.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Oh god, I've like she doesn't know it yet, but
she's about to score a perfect you know gray on
this test and then become a world renowned doctor. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I haven't seen that.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
You have.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
What is giving me this stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
I don't know. That's interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So his was funny but also sad because he's like,
she doesn't know yet, but she's about to go perform
a facelift on an influencer that two months later it
is going to claim that to her followers that her
face is this way because of Guasha. Yes, and she's
going to sell some Guasha tool to like all of
her followers and like not disclose. So that's what I
(26:35):
think you're talking about, Like that is a problem. But
I guess if someone doesn't want to say like me
even thinking, like in your friend group, like say you
choose to have something done and you show up and
your friends are like, huh, something looks different, like did
you get something done?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Like what do you do?
Speaker 3 (26:48):
If you're like you don't want your friends to know.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
What do you say and you don't tell them? I
guess but you say, oh, I just I got a
lot of rest sleep, does wonders? Oh, oh, you know,
you know, drinking lots of water. I went to the sauna. Yeah, yeah,
that's tough. I don't think there there's a blanket answer
for that.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Because I think I'm trying to be private about it.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
How if you're trying to be private, then I guess
that's your prerogative. I would be curious of why wouldn't
you want your close friends to know that if you
don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
M okay, so fine, it could be your close friends.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
So that's but then, but not everybody needs to know
that kind of stuff. I think that you're right, there's
not everybody needs to know that you go to therapy,
what you talk about in therapy. Not everybody needs to
know like why you look that way, what medical procedures
you've done. Not everybody needs to know that. But I
think I would ask, I am getting something like botox,
Why wouldn't I want somebody to know that. That means
(27:46):
that to me, there might be something in there that's
shame around it.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Or or they don't want to feel if or maybe your.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Friends don't like it and your friends are going to
judge you for it, Then like I get that, and
maybe we need to have a conversation with those friends.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah, find if you want your friends to be supportive,
but you don't have to like go find totally new friends.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yes I didn't mean that, but I actually do understand that,
Like if there's somebody that you know there would be
very judgmental and you wouldn't want their opinion, then like
I get not feeling uneasy about that. And that's where
that like secrecy and privacy stuff comes in.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like the difference And we've talked about this too before
with Brene Brown said about the vulnerability. I think you're
the one that quoted her, I can't remember the exact quote.
Maybe if I start talking about it, it'll jog you
your memory. But like some people will hear, oh, I
need to be more vulnerable, and so that means I
think they need to put it all out there for
everybody on social media.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's like manufactured vulnerability, right.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
But being vulnerable doesn't mean telling the whole world, not
in all of your things.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
It's not information like vulnerability is in relationship with people.
Vulnerability is me sharing something with you and there's uncertainty
in it, not me posting something in order to get
a reaction. Makes sense.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, anyway, shout out Joe McHale for his vulnerability and
transparent about his transplants because he does that. Yeah. I
feel like we're we're constantly having to as women. When
you talk about the wheel that we're on, it's like
we have to if we want to step off. There's
(29:20):
unlearning that has to happen. Yeah, I mean that's what
it re establish like what we want and that's.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Hard and what do I actually believe versus what have
I've been taught to believe? Yeah, that is some of
the hardest work that I do with people in therapy.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
We have for everybody a little choose your heart. It's
like choose your adventure, choose your hard So Kat and
are going to go back and forth on what it's hard,
because re establishing is hard. On learning is hard. Not
having money for retirement is hard. So assessing where you're
spending it and trying to put some money away because
(29:57):
we're not getting any younger around here.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
But not doing all of the things that you're used
to doing that make you feel good is hard.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
That's hard, Yeah, letting go of that stuff. And I
will say, yes, I really really struggled with no Botoks.
But if I do decide to go back to it,
I feel like I'll feel more excited or empowered about it.
I know exactly what doing, I know why I'm doing it,
and I'm gonna know like that I want this amount
maybe TBD, maybe I do something else. I don't know.
(30:22):
I have some things to think about. This is inspired
by an article that I saw in Harvard What is
that from Harvard Health? Harwood?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
What is that from?
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I don't know? I like it it is. It is
a famous movie quote. But all I can think about
is in Legally Blonde and she's like, what, like it's hard.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Oh, yeah, it actually is. Yeah, it's hard. Uh ha.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Shoot.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I know people are listening right now and they're like,
we know exactly what that is. We don't have shand
I'm here today to look it up.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
You've talked about that before.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I probably have to say it, okay, But I mean
sometimes you can again into the back of your brain
and retrieve whatever it is, and then sometimes you just
can't welcome to my brain choose your heart. So I'm
going to say something that's hard, and then kat is
gonna follow it up with the relatable thing of the
opposite of what is hard. So like both are hard,
(31:15):
you get to choose which one you want to be in.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Growing is hard, stay the same as hard. Believing in
yourself is hard, Doubting yourself is hard, Taking risks is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Stain in your comfort zone is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Setting boundaries is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Not having boundaries is hard.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Forgiving is hard. Holding grudges is also hard. Saying no
is hard, Saying yes.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
To everything is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
Loving yourself is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Hating yourself is hard.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
Healing is hard, Stain wounded is hard, Being vulnerable is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Building walls is hard.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Having a tough conversation is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Living with unspoken resentment is hard.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Doing that was hard. But I just thought it paints
a good picture of like, this is hard, and then
what you were saying was the opposite, and it's like,
but that's also hard. So that's part of the adventure.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Choose your heart.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Yeah, like which hard do you want to sit in?
Speaker 1 (32:27):
It reminds me of like the Instagram quote life is hard,
get a helmet. It's not very helpful, but like, I
think that's like a tough love type of but yeah, yeah,
life is hard, so we can't avoid all of the hard.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
But like choose which already one? I think that it's
just good a good reminder that, yes, like growth is hard.
Or if you want to read that book and you're
in the first two chapters and you know, taking a
look at your finances, like so set aside, hot Girl,
Hamster Wheel, what if it's just like a challenge you
in a way to look at your finances. I mean
(33:05):
I had to do that in my divorce and that
was hard. But also ignoring it and being ignorant to
it and just spending blindly, how that would be really hard,
Having anxiety, getting a lump in my throat every time
I had to talk about finances because I felt so
overwhelmed by it. That was hard. Yeah, you know what's
good now is like I can log in and look
(33:28):
at spreadsheets and look at numbers and go to my
Rocket money app and I know exactly where everything's going
and I can open it up without getting a lump
in my throat, Whereas I used to get a lump,
and it was just because I was completely detached from it.
I didn't even give myself the opportunity. I was too
there's too much fear there and I had spent so
many years avoiding it. So stepping into that was hard,
(33:51):
But which is harder continuing to live that way? So
choose your hard. People are probably gonna listen to that
over we're and nowhere, like let me rewind that make
it your ring.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Down, or you're gonna call back town when people call you,
that's what they hear.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Choose your heart. It's like growing is hard, staying the
same as hard. Believing in yourself is hard. You know,
it's hard finding your car in a parking garage, at
least for me.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Well, I can relate. So what makes you bring this up?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Well? So Alex and I went to the mall my boyfriend,
and we parked on green level two. The poles were
green and it was level two, and so we're getting
out of the car and we're walking and we go
up multiple escalators, and to me, I was like, over
and over in my head green level two, Green level two,
green green, green level two, and I'm looking for and
I'm like, oh, venning machine there, green level two. Which
(34:46):
sometimes I take a picture, which that probably would be better,
but for whatever reason, it's not what I was doing.
I just was giving myself little reminders so that I
can make my way back to the car. And he's like,
what are you doing? And I was like, you don't
have to do this, and he's like, no, I know
exactly where we parked. And I'm like, so you're telling
me we're going to go into the mall and you're
gonna walk all around the mall to all different stores,
(35:09):
up and down, round and round, and then you're gonna
know where we parked.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
And he's like, yeah, what do you have a photographic memory?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
No, but he's like, I know exactly where we parked,
green level two and story around the corner, and the
mind matuement, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Like, yeah, you only know that because you listen to
me song.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Now He's like, I know exactly where we are, and
I'm like, oh, leave the things I have to do
to remember, like where I parked, and if I don't
do that, and that's this is me learning my lesson.
That's why now I either take pictures or I sing
little songs and I do a little reminders because if
I just if I'm distracted, I'm I'm on the phone
and I park and I get out of my car
and I go in and do whatever. I will get
back on the elevator or descalator and I'll be like,
(35:49):
I have no idea where I don't know. I have
no idea. Am I going to three? Four, five, six?
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
So this is a little timely that you up because
I was on the phone with you. How you were.
I parked in this parking garage today. It's going to
the doctor, and the last time I went there, I
got lost. But I told myself that's not gonna happen
today because it's just not I learned more about the building,
(36:18):
so I thought I would understand. Well, I leave my appointment,
which there are a couple things happened that now I'm thinking,
like we're so oddly embarrassing, but like really weren't embarrassing.
One being I got on the elevator to leave, and
you could either go to the lobby or to the garage.
Those are the buttons. I didn't know which one it was,
(36:38):
so I pressed both of them and I was like,
I'll just do both and see which one it is.
But then more people got in the elevator and I
was like, they can't know that I don't know where
I'm going. Yeah, So then it got to one. I
just got off and I was like walked around a
little bit, and I was like, well, maybe I'll just
I thought maybe I could figure it out from there,
but like really I needed to get back on the
elevator and go back down, but that would have been
(37:00):
like too much. So then I end up getting to
the parking garage and I can see my car, I
can hear my car when I'm clicking it, but I
cannot figure out how to get to it. At one point,
I stopped and I pretended that I was on the
phone and like walking laps around the parking garage getting
my steps in because I didn't want people to know
(37:21):
that I was lost in the parking garage. It just
felt so embarrassing that like people were walking around and
I was like walking this way, and then walking this way,
and then walking all the way around this way, and
then I was going up the stairs and then down
the stairs, and like should I try to get in
the elevator and try that way? And why are there
green over here? But there's blue over here? I knew
I parked in green, but like I also knew where
my car was. I could see it, I couldn't get
(37:42):
to it. So I just pretended like I was like
on my breakout work getting my steps in, and.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
I've had people were like look at her getting her steps.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Yeah, but like why is that embarrassing?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Well, yeah, I'm joking because they weren't paying attention too,
And I'm the same, like why why would I care
if I don't know where I'm going? And like I
want to act like I know where I'm going and
people aren't paying attention to us, like they don't care.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
But it made me think of like what are the
things in life that are that feel embarrassing, that shouldn't
feel embarrassing like walking, like if you're at the you
park somewhere and you're like walking in somewhere and then
you forget somethings you have to walk back, like you
turn around.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
I don't embarrass by that.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Oh my god, it's like, oh, like people are I
don't know. That feels similar to like me walking around
the parking garage, Like no, people like know that I
forgot something that shouldn't be embarrassing. Yeah, you know. Or
like speaking of the grocery store when you are trying
or any store when you pay with cash and then
you're trying to like put the money back in your wallet,
but then like start ringing up the next person and
(38:38):
you're like just shoving it in there, or do you
take your time?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I haven't paid with cash at the grocery store and like.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Or just like getting your stuff together, like my receipt
and like do you put it like in your wallet?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Okay, You're like trying to hurry and you're like yeah,
the next person's already.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Grocery store and embarrassing makes me think of when I
had a needing disorder. If I would buy certain foods,
I didn't want people to like i'd be buying. Maybe
I would just be even buying like one thing of
ice cream, but because I had shame around that, I
would get like a thing of celery too, and somehow
like that. I was like, I'm not just here to
(39:15):
buy ice cream. I'm here to buy celery too.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's not like you weren't gonna.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I had a lot, but I didn't need the celery.
But I they probably wouldn't think anything of me buying
ice cream because that should be normal, but because I
had so much shame, I was embarrassed, so I added
the celery.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
But then they're probably like, what is she doing with
the ice cream and the cellery?
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
And they're like, you know me, well, ronded. I just
came here to pick up a few things.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Yeah, Like I didn't come all the way here just
because of ice cream. Or if sometimes i'd be doing
like a fast food thing and I would be getting
a lot of food.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
You're like pretending like there's more people they were for
somebody else to and my friend.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I didn't feel like i'd be like, so oh, and
I think wants I think he wants a diet come
or I think I think they said a twelve piece.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, well let me check really, or like you're reading
off of your phone, but really it's your own order.
So I'm laughing. But also this is just sad.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
But it was my own shame and embarrassment, like I
thought they were judging me on what which Really they
are probably not paying attention, like they don't care. They
have people that come through and order like from one
little fry to like ten fries, like it doesn't matter,
they're just taking order. It's the stories we have in
our mind. Just like nobody was looking at you in
the parking lot, but you're like, I'm on the phone
(40:36):
getting my steps for the day, like I work here,
I know exactly where my car is.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
That's when I found my car. I was like, oh
this thing. I haven't been looking for this for twenty minutes.
I even texted my mom. I was like, Mom, I'm
lost again in the same parking crunch. So our embarrassment
is in our head. Yes, well okay, So I looked
on Reddit to see like what other things people thought
we're embarrassing but really aren't. And I want to know
(41:03):
if you because you don't want to agree with the
couple of those. So I want to know if you
think these are embarrassing. Okay, So I looked on Reddit
to see like what other things people thought were embarrassing
but really aren't. And I want to know if because
(41:25):
you don't want to agree with the couple of those,
So I want to know if you think these are embarrassing. Okay, Okay,
So having to sneeze like when you're like you know
what's coming, but like you're in a conversation and you're like.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, mine's more probably after the sneeze comes out, depending
on how I was able to control it, because sometimes
I can feel like I can sneeze cute, and then
other times I sneeze like, you know, an eighty year
old man.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
It's embarrassing for me as a therapist in a session
if you're like talking about something serious and you're like,
do you know if you need a sneeze? You a
look at like yeah, okay, well I try to do that,
but then it's like awkward, and then I let the
sneeze go away, goes away, I'm like okay, I'm good,
and then it comes back. It's a whole thing.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
It's a whole thing. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
So yeah, having sneeze calling in sick when you're sick.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
No, No, you're like embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I don't know that's what they said. This one walking
to the bathroom with tampons.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Well, I guess I normally stick it where like stick
it like in a pocket. But because like I'm not
trying to But why because well, because I guess it's
not been normalized to just announce to my colleagues that
I'm on my way to stick a tampon.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Well. Ali Fallon talked about this on Instagram a while ago,
and I really liked it. She should be somebody that
we've phone in for this conversation, but she said, like
it should This is like shouldn't be embarrassing. This is
like a normal thing that's supposed to have. This is
supposed to happen to us.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
And it's been happening to women since the beginning of time.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yes, So like I'm going to the bathroom to take
care of some thing, to like actually practice good hygiene,
and this is something good that is happening. So why
would I be embarrassed that I have to use this thing?
You know?
Speaker 3 (43:10):
So I didn't wanting to try that period underwear?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
What period underwear instead of it just soaks up all
your blood. Yeah, but then you sit in it all day.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
I don't know, never tried it, Okay, I don't know
what it works. We probaly shouldn't talk about it. I
don't know. People were like, cool, I was eating breakfast.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's fun, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
Running through the airport, Oh yeah, totally embarrassing, so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I've had to do it.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
And if you're like out of breath, just the worst,
like and then you get on the plane and you're
breathing and you're sweating, and then the plane is hot.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Yeah, when somebody lets you cross the crosswalk like a
car and you like have to like pretend like you're
hurrying up, but really you're just like walking. Yeah, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
I guess it feels a little awkward, but I'm not
like totally embarrassed. But back to the plane thing, like
running an airport. If I am the last person aboard
the flight, I'm embarrassed. I hate it.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I get so much anxiety, like what if there's not
room for your bag or what if you have to
ask somebody to move and they don't really want to
move And people be crazy on the plane lately. Oh,
this one might not relate to this, but going on
a first date and trying to act surprised when they
tell things about themselves, but you've secretly already stalked them,
and you're like, oh, yeah, I had no idea that
you grew up in Oklahoma. That's so weird, and no
(44:23):
idea that your mom owns a card making business in Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Then he's like, wait, I didn't tell you it was
in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Oh did I say Connecticut? I'm sorry, I'm just lucky.
Guess I feel that. Okay, And then the last one,
I think you're gonna agree, saying goodbye and then walking
in the same direction.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Oh yeah, it's awkward.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
That's awkward. Maybe not embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, it's just more like, okay, do we say bye again?
Speaker 1 (44:51):
You're going this way too.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Funny? He well, I love that cat. Thank you for
cheering with us. You're embarrassing moment.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, and thank you for bringing to light that it's
the stories in our head.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
You're welcome. We have an email of the day. If
someone's listening today for the first time, they're like, what
they think? Thank you and pause and you're welcome in pause,
and I guess. Yeah, that's the first one we've done
it in this episode. I think earlier, I think that
was in Couch Talks. Yeah. Fun fact we film them
on the same day. Okay, Email of the Day, speaking
(45:25):
of emails, which that's what our Couch Talks episodes are,
and those go up on Thursdays, and then our Feeling
Things are every Tuesday. And I know you mentioned Ali Fallon,
so before I get to the Email of the Day,
I'll just mention that on Saturday is something that you'll
see on our Feeling Things feed every Saturday is podcasts
from a network that I have that are some really
(45:47):
amazing women and I think you would like their content,
and it's loading up on our feet on Saturdays. So
if you're seeing that, that's what it is. It's women
from my network, and Allie Fallon is one of them.
She has a podcast called Write Your Story, Amanda Rieger
Green has Soul Sessions, and Leanne Ellington has What's God
(46:09):
Got to Do with It? So there's a three different
podcasts you'll see pop up on Saturday. They'll either be
in rotation or they're all going to load together. We're
playing around with some stuff just as a way to,
you know, spread spread the news, Spread the news, and
so maybe you can find something new to listen to
or someone new to follow on Instagram and see if
(46:30):
any of their stuff resonates with you. Email of the
day this, Oh do we not know who it's from? Oh?
We do?
Speaker 1 (46:38):
And she said we could say her name?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Okay, Kat, We'll look that up while I read it.
Love the show, Kat and Amy is so glad you
are doing this together. It makes me laugh. I learn
a lot and love seeing two friends shine together. I
heard the episode you did where you mentioned Megan Markle
sending emails to her kids. I wanted to share an
alternate idea. I hate buying B Day, Anniversary, ECCE or carts.
(47:01):
I hate trying to keep them so that I can
look back at them when I know I probably won't.
I'd rather take that five to seven dollars and add
it to the gift. So when my husband and I
got married, I found two nine dollars journals at home Goods,
one for each of us. Every Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day,
and anniversary. We write our own card to each other
(47:23):
in the journal. Romantically, I want someone to find these
journals when we're long gone and turn them into a
Hallmark movie. Well, the beginning of our marriage may be more.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
PG.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Thirteen smiley face probably.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Are That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
Just kidding. I've gone back to read the entries and
it's beautiful to see our relationship evolve over the years.
This has been so special to us that while we
weren't able to have kids, I have gotten a journal
for each of our three nephews and niece. Every birthday,
I write a note to them. It won't be an
overwhelming amount to read when they get older, but I
(48:03):
hope to encapsulate their personalities and stories through it and
maybe pass on some things I've learned. Just thought this
might be helpful and less overwhelming idea than the emails.
And Kat and I both love this idea so much,
and I think it's so great for couples. I'm really
really into it. And then you have it there and
it's like.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
These, I'm going to buy two journals.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
I can't wait to work Patrick. Okay, did you get
her name?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Heidi? Heidi? Thanks Heidi. I love this idea because same,
I have a hole. Mean, I have cards everywhere because
feel bad throwing them out. But then I'm like, am
I going to go back and go through? Maybe I
don't know, but a journal seems much easier to keep
up with. And it's speaking of finances financially savvy.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, cards are so expensive now.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, and I usually buy like the nine nine cent
ones And then I'm like, well, this is like even
stupid because they're not even like cute.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Yeah, they're not like the fun ones.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Someone's like ten dollars.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
They can get pricey, especially the pop up ones does
use it. But cry Okay is in here. She's working
the cameras right now, and she loves a good card
and she will spend a lot of money on a card.
But that's something so that's her. That's something she knows
about herself. Like she loves to circle back to the
beginning of the episode and put a bow on this thing,
like that's something she knows. She loves to do, Like Kat,
(49:22):
I'm just speaking for you, But she loves to pick
out the card. She loves when it's a cool card,
and then she loves giving you the card.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Do you She loves even just if she sees a
card that reminds yeah, she'll buy it.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
It's not even for an occasion, so that's like sweet though,
that's like part of her thing and she's awesome. It
has to be a perfect card, but that's important to her.
Like for her, it's like she may be like, eh,
I'm not gonna write in some silly journal on getting
you a card, and that's what she wants to do,
and she could do.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Some people love collecting those, so.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
I say some of them and then I'm like, how
do I decide which ones I'm saving them? Which ones
I don't and I don't. I think it's just like
whatever mood I'm in that day. But speaking of okay,
she will, I'm pretty sure she's gonna always pay to
get her nails done, and that's okay. She gets to
do that, and then I probably will.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
She pays to get her nails done. You have bare
naked nails and you won't even let me do them,
and then I do my own nails. Everybody is different
and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Yeah, we are an example of the world.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
We are not the most diverse.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
We are so diverse. Just kidding, Yeah that we're we're
aware of that. That was a joke.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
See, got to make a little jokesy.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
You're funny. Yeah, thanks for listening. Kat and I both
hope that you have the day you need to have
and we want to hear from you. Email us hey
there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. If you want
to email us for couch talks, put that in the
subject line. If you want to be anonymous, make sure
you include that information. Shout out Heidi. Sorry we left
(50:56):
your name off at the beginning. And then also you
can call us leave us a boy smell eight seven
seven two oh seven two oh seven seven, and I
guess we'll see you on Thursday for couch Talks. Follow
us on YouTube, oh yeah, Feeling Things podcasts. Follow us
on Instagram Feeling Things.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Podcasts, We made it easy.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Follow us on TikTok Feeling things podcasts.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah. Follow us on TikTok please, what why? I feel
like that's we need to grow people there. Oh no,
not follow us.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
You're just younger so you feel like TikTok school.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Watch our tiktoks. Please watch them. Yes, we need them
to circulate. I find so much stuff through just clips
on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah, we have have had some that have popped off.
We have some clothes.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
Trying on TikTok, And then there was one video.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I didn't even upload it correctly because I'm just not
on TikTok as much, and I thought it was a
video and it is a picture. That's why Cat is like,
can you'll please go to our TikTok and help it?
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Because you posted a picture with music, I screenshot it
and send it to where And I was like, am
I missing? Is this a trend? I don't get what
you're doing.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Yeah, I don't know what happened quite honestly.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
You like sit on your phone or something.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
No. No, I posted that, but I thought it was
the video, but I did not add the song. I
did not. I thought it was just us talking. I
know it was a screenshot which I remember clicked on
the rock listen.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
Yeah cool, we do our on social media here.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
If you can't tell. But that's what's made it so
much more fun. Like I love having Kat as a partner,
and we've had a good time and it's fun and yeah,
I can't wait to like get out and about if
we do some lives and like meeting our listeners and
we want to see y'all, so more of that to
come soon and some other exciting news. Yeah, so we
leave you with that.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Okay, bye bye
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just wontes Amy and Cat gotcha come and
locking m brother, ladies and folks, do you just follow
Anna spirit where it's all the phone over real stuff
to the chill stuff and the m but Swayne, sometimes
the best thing you can do it jes stop you
(00:25):
feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling. Thanks. I'm Amy and.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I'm Cat and I am starting with the feeling of
the day. I'm feeling relieved.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Oh. I don't know what you're relief from. But you know,
my favorite thing about relief whenever I hear relief or relief, like,
I exhale. So it's like, to me, relief is permission
to exhale. Yeah, you made it exhale.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well I actually did do that. Okay, So I'll get
into why I'm relief. But at the same time, my
relief comes with a lot of excitement. It's a lot
of convoluted stuff. I was in my therapist's office talking
about it this past week and she said, like, what
does that bring up for you or what does that
feel in your body or something along those lines. Very therapisty,
and I said, I feel like I can just breathe.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Really, yeah, I did not know. Obviously, I don't even
know exactly what you're gonna say. And I had no
idea that you had that moment with your therapist. But
it's so true.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's just the gift.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Like we sometimes you talk about the gifts or the
impairments of a certain feeling, and relief is just such
a good one, because yeah, it's just an ex sail. Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
And so it was funny as I was talking to
her because I was so excited and I was like
talking so fast. I was like, I feel manic and
at the same time I feel relieved. It was just
like this weird dialectic, like two things happening at once.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well, so what are we relieved about?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yes, we want to exhale. Tell you, are we going
to exhale with you? Maybe? Because at the same time,
this brought up a moral dilemma for me. So this
is a mixed bag, But the biggest feeling is relief
when I sit down with it. So I was reading
this new book called Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gaddie Tassin.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Katie Gaddy Tassin Gaddy tussin.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I might be those are two two last names. I
might be saying it's not hyphenated, it's just double.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
She's a double last name.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I don't know if one of them's her maiden name,
or maybe her name is Katie Gaddy. I don't know,
and I think it's toss enough. I'm thinking about it anyway.
Her instagram is at Money with Katie. If you're not
following her, highly recommend it. She is a finance expert,
but she specializes in helping women with finance, and she
(02:37):
originally was in marketing, and so she also talks a
lot about the psychology around money and finances and women
and the economy and all that. It looks like you're
about to yawn. Are you tired, I'm just like money finance.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
No, actually, I think I yawned because I woke up
really early. I'm intrigued. I actually just thinking my mind, like, oh,
I'm very interested in following her or seeing what she's
about because in the last two years or so, I've
taken over my money, my finances, and I've had to
learn a lot of things. Yeah, a lot because of
(03:15):
seventeen years of marriage of not being involved in that
by choice. It's not like I was married to someone
that was like, you can't be involved. I was like, yay,
you handle all that. I'm scared of it, so I'd
like to avoid it. And what I now know is
that it's very empowering to know. Information is empowering. The
knowledge is empowering, and knowing every detail of my life,
(03:36):
even though sometimes it can be overwhelming, at the end
of the day, it's information. Information is power. And I'm
sure she's full of helpful things for me.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
When you say you are scared of it, do you
know like.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It was because my dad he had a lot of
highs and lows bus money.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay, So I recommend her because she doesn't talk down
to people. Know how some finance people can be so
confusing they use all this lingo. She uses some of
the lingo, but her book I think anybody could pick up.
She has a podcast too. The book is really great
because I think it's high level, covering stuff that then
on her podcast and stuff she goes into deeper, which
(04:14):
can be overwhelming. But her whole point is like money
is power, and historically women haven't been in charge of
money and they've had harder time making money and creating
financial freedom and wealth, and so she wants to help
women understand that they can do it. And she's also
self taught because again she was a marketing major. So
(04:34):
that is in itself, I think helpful to hear that, like, Okay,
she taught herself this. That means that, like I can
have somebody help teach me this. It's never too late,
never too late.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
That's that's one thing I've Yeah, in my mid forties,
I'm like, oh wow, you know, and I still have
more to learn. And I also just want to say
about my yawn, Like I've been thinking about the yond
that we've talked about this on the podcast, and that's
just me sending oxygen to my brain so that I
(05:04):
can absorbed. We know it's not always because somebody is
bored and tired.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, so now if your therapist ever yawns in your
session with you, you can have some compassion for her. Okay,
So disclaimer, I've only read two chapters of this book.
You've only read two chapters. And when I say read,
I mean listen to because I'm an audible girl.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So in the first two chapters, you already have this
sense of relief.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes, of Okay, what exactly I know, I'm really giving
you the long winded story of this. So in the
beginning of the book, she talks about this thing that
I've heard her talk about on podcasts and on Instagram about.
I think she coined this the hot Girl hamster wheel.
So she describes a hot Girl hamster wheel as all
of the things that you kind of put into this
(05:50):
basket of different beauty things that you get done or
stuff that you buy that allows you to be a
end quote girl that gives you power and I think
confidence in the world. So in her Hot Girl hamster wiel,
that would be like facials, getting her hair highlighted, getting eyelashed, extensions,
(06:11):
buying makeup, buying certain clothes, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Oh, I don't get my nails done.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well, this isn't a competition, but I also do my
own nails.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But before you started doing your own, like you, getting
your nails done was part of your.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
It was myself part of myself maintenance, which I always said,
I do not like the process of getting my nails done, Like,
I don't enjoy it. I don't like going and sitting there.
I don't like I mean, it's not relaxing like a
social is relaxing.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I don't like getting my nails stone. Yeah, And I
was only pointing that out because I feel like, when
you're going to run through this, at least what I
was getting from the Hot Girl Hams girls, I'm like, shoot,
I do that. Shoot, that's okay, that's okay, yeah, because
you're feeling relieved and right now I'm feeling like nervous shame.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh okay. So I hope that this in turn will
just bring agency to people, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Because I'm also we should address that I'm wearing a
hat today because I had my brows worked on yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And maybe part of this is yeah, part of this
can be part of the hot girl hamster will fore you.
But I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong, thank you.
So just clock that. I think that's important information. Clock that,
like I already feel shame that I'm doing this. That's
part of the whole problem here, Okay, Okay. So she
talks about this stuff, and she's talking about this at
(07:32):
a time where she was first getting into finance and
like learning about budgeting. So when she was in her
early twenties, she was probably making like sixty K. She
started a budget for the first time, and she wanted
to see what all of her expenses added up to.
She did all of those like hot girl expenses. She
added them all up and then divided them and then
(07:54):
figured out at how it came out monthly, and she
was spending over three hundred dollars a month on all
of that stuff. And the way she described that stuff
happening is she was like, I would feel bad about myself,
and then I would schedule all these appointments, and then
I would go to these appointments thinking that this is
going to be the thing that makes me feel better,
(08:15):
this is going to be the thing that gives me confidence.
I need this thing so then I can go out
into the world and get what I want, whether that'd
be relationships, friends, job, whatever. But she said when she
would have that feeling of dread and she would go
schedule these appointments, she would have a whole day of
self care. But really it's just buying stuff. She would
get increasingly anxious with each swipe of her credit card,
(08:38):
like spending money that she really didn't have on these
things that she felt like she needed to feel okay.
And the problem is two weeks later, some of that
stuff would wear off. You would have to go back
and reget your eyebroils threaded, redo your lashes, read like
every six weeks, update your roots like all of that.
This is probably before roots were in.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So that's her being on the perpetual wheel.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah. And so she was like, I'm going to see
what I want to see. What spending all this money
is stealing from me? Because it really the benefit she
wasn't getting that much. It was like this temporary relief
that she felt like she had to then keep going.
So she put the three hundred dollars. She basically, I'm
new in the finance world, but she used a compounding
(09:22):
interest big word, compounding interest calculator to see if she
invested that money over forty years, what would that leave
her in retirement. It was a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And so to some people a million dollars wouldn't be
that much money, but to somebody who's making sixty thousand dollars, like,
that's a lot of money. And her thought was like,
these things that I don't really care about but I
feel like I have to do are stealing my financial
freedom for me. And part of that is connected to
(09:57):
the oppression of women, where you don't see men being
pressured to have all the same like hotgirl things like
Patrick gets a twenty dollars haircut every couple months at
like great clips. Like he doesn't care where he goes.
He'll go to a new place every time, it doesn't matter.
And he doesn't have a skincare routine. He doesn't wash
his face, he lets water run down it in the shower.
(10:20):
He doesn't even use a bar of soap to wash
his face, just water. And he has perfect skin, like
he doesn't have to have any special kind of clothes
like for men, they're already so much higher on the
ladder to wherever you want to go, especially in business
and work, that they don't have to look the same
way or keep up the same kind of appearance as women.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
So like at his job, he doesn't need to look
a certain way in order to get promoted.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
No, he's a man, that's enough, right, And she looked
at the statistics again read the book because obviously this
I'm giving you.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Just read the first two chapters.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Read the first two chapters. But she talks about like
all the statistics of like the wage gaps and what
that looks like. And also like, this is really sad
that they have done studies on like the attractiveness of
women and their ability to make money and their ability
to get promoted. That's like just a sick, weird research.
(11:19):
What do you call experiment to conduct? Like Oh, we're
going to rate these women's attractiveness and then see so
but they've done that.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I don't want to be in.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I don't want to be in that, but they've proved that,
like it does matter what you look like. And so
that's where I was feeling, like multiple things, and I
was a little bit like bummed, and then I was
because it's like, well, I don't want to be on
this wheel, but also like I want a promotion or
I want to be successful, and it feels like you
have to pick one or the other. But what I
(11:47):
came to is I read it and I was listening.
I listened to it right before I was going to therapy,
So I was like, really hot in my mind? Is
this like feeling of liberation? I was like, oh, this
is like a act of dollion almost that like I'm
not going to play this game anymore when it comes
to stuff that I don't care about. Now there are
(12:07):
people that love doing makeup, love it like they love it,
love it, love it. It's so much fun for them.
It's kind of a chore for me. Like I like
to do it every now and then, but most days,
I just like to put my sunscreen on intended sunscreen
and some bronzer and head the door. So it's like
liberating for me to say, like I don't need to
(12:28):
go buy all that stuff at Sephora because that doesn't
actually matter to me, Or like the nails, like me
saying I'm not going to go get my nails done
and spend one hundred and fifty dollars every two weeks
on something that I don't really care about when I
can do it myself and I actually enjoy doing them myself.
Or I was talking to Patch about this. I just
(12:48):
booked a hair appointment and I was like, maybe I'll
just like not get my hair colored. I'll just get
it cut because it happens. Yeah, It's like I've just
always been getting my hair colored. And it used to
be fun because I used to like diet silver and
like purple and stuff like that, and that was kind
of fun. But like I don't know, like it's not
that fun to get for me.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I see. That's what I'm hearing is for you, you're able
to dictate. It's been empowering because you're like, Okay, I
have agency over what I want to do. I'm not
going to just do it because it's what's expected of me.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Well, and because other people may really enjoy they love
their hair, they love their not like you said, they
love the makeup, or they enjoy getting this doneder their skin,
and financially they can do it. There's not this anxiety
that maybe comes with like every swipe of like oh
shoot yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But if I'm feeling this anxiety of like I'm spending
my resources on this and it's a temporary high, and
I also feel like I have to, it's like, well
you don't have to, Like we can take some agency back.
I think what I'm getting and I'm again just in
the beginning of it, but just seeing how the like
(14:00):
beauty and wellness industry, a lot of it this is
not blanket. So I think that's why I want people
to hear that this is not all or nothing, but
a lot of it has been created and sustained in
order to oppress women. So for me to say that
like I don't need that feels really good and almost
like I knew I didn't like that. Like when I
(14:21):
was hearing her talk, I was like, yeah, I don't
like doing that, Like I don't want to do that anymore.
And yes, that's going to come with discomfort because I
then have to know that that could there could be
a consequence because not everybody's going to be in that
boat with me, and I might have moments where I'm like, well,
I do kind of feel everybody else has their botox.
(14:43):
I'm like, their foreheads look pretty good. Like that's one
thing that I noticed, and I see like a lot
of people that like do have these perfect looking like
you know, when you get botox in your forehead, it's
just so pretty.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Trust me, I know, and I ass it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So but like when I'm not around it, I'm okay.
But when I I see it, then I'm like, now
I feel different. So I know that that's going to
be there, But right now that's not overweghing this like, yeah,
I don't feel empowered when I go to get it.
Some people might.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, I think we were talking about that. I was
getting comfortable with my wrinkles the other day. And I
truly am like there's a time whenever I was really
into my boatox because I got it for yeah, well
over ten years if there was the slightest movement or sprinkle,
and I still thought in my mind I was getting
minimal amounts. But then the more I went over the years,
(15:34):
the more it felt like I was getting and the
less it was working. So that's where maybe there's some
discomfort with spending because I'm like, oh, this seems to
be heading up. This is just more and more and
more each time, But then you get used to looking
that way, and then it took me a while to
get used to now looking back the other way. But
I also think I have I take better care of
(15:55):
my skin, even when I did before I got botox.
So maybe you know who, I'm not giving up my
skincare routine. That's not happening.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Well, that's important to me. Well, so the reason that
this also felt so like I gets safest of word
that's also coming to me, like hearing her say this
is she was like, I'm not telling anybody to not
do any of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, because I'm still gonna get certain officials, and I
just got the I'm still trying to figure out my eyebrows.
I'm on a journey. And I was talking to my
lash extension girl, which I will still get those about.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Do you think you could do eyebrow.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Extensions and like glue little Oh my god, she said
she ordered some noa I'm in be your guinea pig.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Okay, so I'm but you're going to keep you stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
No pressure to anybody else to get it. But for me,
like I don't really have a lot of hair there,
and I've learned how to draw them on. Yes, but
now what do I do when I go swimming?
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Keep your head above water? Or you just embrace it?
You just embrace it.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And I'll be like, I know that before I went underwater,
I had broads, and I know when I emerged from
the water that I did not.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But she said, like what she was doing, she didn't
just stop getting all that stuff. She just kind of addressed, Okay,
what stuff do I care about and what do I not?
And she tested things out, like she even made a joke.
She was like, I wasn't going to just stop getting
highlights in my hair, Like I still wanted to do that,
but I think she stopped doing her eyelash extensions, or
(17:19):
maybe it was like her eyebrow threading. It was one
of them, and or she said she stopped getting her
extensive facials. And she was like, and I got a
manageable skincare routine that fit in my budget. She's like,
it's not that I wasn't doing any of this. I
just realized that, like, I can fit these things in
my budget and then realize the things that like I
don't care about, I get to throw those out.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
So I just was like, that is a relief to
like know that, oh, you get to do that. I
don't have to you don't have to stay on the wheel.
You get to exit the ride and then decide what
you want to do. And I like that she put
it that way, and you're reiterating that it's not that
she's saying any of this stuff is bad or we
(18:01):
shouldn't be doing it, but just understand what's behind it
and the root of a lot of it, and then
step back and decide what you want to do for yourself. Yeah,
And I would even encourage, like, just play around with
that a little bit, because you never know how you're
going to feel. I didn't know how I was going
to feel until I stop eating the boatox. And guess
what if I go to get botox again because I'm
not anti it, or I decide to get something else again,
(18:24):
Like I hope I'll be coming from a place of
like I put a lot of thought into this and
ultimately this is what I want to do, and I'm
doing it for me and to be honest in my profession,
I do feel a lot of pressure with that. And
I am only getting older and it is my job
and I am on camera a lot, and I'm interviewing
artists and app functions where yes, my name coming up
(18:47):
to be considered to host this, or why don't we
have Amy Brown do that? And then it's like, yeah,
we have you. She's look at her eyebrows, shit, cau,
you're getting boat talks, or she's aged like let's go
with the younger girl, or you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Know, yeah, but that's okay too.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I'll also there's enough room for everybody, so then I've
got to find my space. But there is that and
that fear that creeps up in there to your point
of like opportunities come when we're taking care of ourselves. Yeah,
but it's a big conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, and I'm sure I'll hear more of this as
I continue the rest of the book. But I also
think I would be remiss not to say I think
the world, and we've talked about this on the show before,
women are in a tough place because I think also
the world kind of not demonizes, but they make women
feel silly for caring about things that like the world
has told women to care about exactly. Yeah, it's like
(19:44):
you're damned if you do you damned. Yeah, it's like, oh,
you're going to spend money on that. But then if
you don't spend money on it, they're like, oh you
look old, yeah, or like oh you care about that
the like you care about shopping and clothes and this
and that. It's like, well, that's what you groom women
to care about that stuff, Like that's what society tells
women that they should care about. And then they care
about that stuff, and then they're like, oh, you're silly,
(20:04):
you're not smart. You're men care about financing, women care
about shopping.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Like I will say, more and more men are getting
hair transplants in Turkey. Yeah, oh yes, yes, like, I
know multiple people that have gotten it done, most recently
in Turkey. In Turkey, I was just an appointment the
other day. Can't say who or what because I'm sure
he wouldn't mind. Obviously, you know it's a man, because
we're talking about man. And he's like, well, you know,
(20:31):
I just go back from Turkey, and I could tell.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I was like his hair, like, you went to Turkey.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I didn't know if we went to Turkey, and I
didn't know for surfy got a hair transplant, but I
knew something was up. And he was like, oh, yeah,
I went to Turkey. And I was like, shut up,
tell me more. Did they do eyebrows?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
And he's like, I bet they do.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
And I was like, okay, I'm not going to Turkey
to get an eyebrow transplant. But uh, people in Turkey, Yes,
it is more affordable and way faster, Like they have
a whole team. He said, it was so crazy. They're
so efficient over there, whereas here you might go to
a doctor and there's like one person working on you
and it may take like all day. Over there, there's
a whole team of people and you'll be in and out.
(21:09):
So where is here a doctor might do a procedure
or two a day. Over there, they can knock out
ten people in a day, so they can make it
more affordable. Wow. And he said it's one of the
best decisions he ever made. And he was just feeling
really self conscious about the loss of his hair. And
then Joel McHale was on a podcast recently talking about it.
You know the guy from the soup and.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
From the soup from the scenes. Has he done anything.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Else the animal something? Animal control? Is that not right?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
You had an animal show?
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I don't know. I feel like I read in an
article when I saw the podcast sing something about animal control.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Okay, but I know him from the soup.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
So he said that he's had four hand hair transplants
over the years. I think because with a technology, the
evolution of the project, I want a better I need
to get a better one, because he started off with
one process and it's like, oh, you've advanced it. So
he said, he said four in total. I mean in
his hair is looking.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I feel like his hair has always looked pretty thick.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
No, whenever I googled it to look it up, because
this is something I didn't even know. We were talking
about this we talked about this on the Bobby Bone Show,
and so I googled it when we were talking about
it there, and I saw the pictures. Wow. And so
that's what also has hair transplant from being top of
mind that he wanted to be transparent about his transplants,
(22:27):
and I was like, good for you, But I don't
think that everybody has to be open and transparent about
everything they've done, although that has been a thing right
now with like Kylie Jenner did that with her boob job.
Like some girl on TikTok was like, Kylie, I just
saw your boobs and I'm about to get a boob job,
and I just like to know exactly what you had
done because they are perfect. And so Kylie just responded, Hey,
(22:50):
I got seas and triple a little bit. I don't
know the lingo, but she gave every detail that her
doctor did half under the muscle, half over, I don't know.
And then the girl on because the girl on TikTok
had gone viral and there's Kylie. Yeah, so I guess
she took that information and probably did a lot of
other people. They look really good. Uh, they took that
information and then they probably went to their doctor, but
(23:12):
everyone was praising the fact they thought it was so
cool that Kylie was just transparent about it. And yes,
I think it's cool to be transparent if you want
to be, and then if you don't want to be.
There's also a difference between what what are you guys
seeing that? Well?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I just think that that becomes problematic, Like when we
were talking about like the face fitness stuff, Like if
somebody's saying, like, all I do is wash my face
and use this serum and I look like this and
behind the scenes they're getting botox and filler and I've
had a facelift, That's okay, that's true. I guess I'm
talking to like the normal.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, every like like we're not We're not gonna lie
about it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I think there's a difference in like privacy and then
like lying.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Okay, they're privacy and secrecy, but what like what if
you did want to do something a little more drastic
to your face and you really it is a personal
decision and you don't want anybody to know, but you
get flat out asked by it on a public space.
Are you supposed to what are you supposed to do?
(24:25):
It is a personal decision. And you don't want anybody
to know, but you get flat out asked by it
on a public space. Are you supposed to what are
you supposed to do? But you didn't want to talk
about it.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I think I probably would find a way to like
answer the question but not answer it. I played the
fifth but something, you know how. I think celebrities in
general get coached on how to avoid those kinds of questions.
I think it becomes a problem when like you are
promoting one thing, like I'm promoting the skincare product, but
I didn't get this skin from this product. I got
(24:57):
this skin from surgery, right or something more that is problematic.
I could debate this both ways from my own mind.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
You know, have you seen there's a plastic surgeon. I
don't know, he's out of la but he had a funny, little,
real mean thing the other day. He was filming one
of his colleagues who's a female plastic surgeon, and it's
like those the meme videos where it's like, you know,
she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to, you
know the thing. It's like a trend. Oh yeah, but
(25:25):
he doesn't know it yet, but she's about well, but
this one he did it with her, Well, normally they're inspiring.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh, I get the depressing one, the one she doesn't
know yet, but she's about to like touch the seashell
and become paralyzed. Oh my god, Yeah, that's what I get.
What's wrong with.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Cad. I get the like she doesn't know it yet,
but she's about to embark on the greatest journey and
like ever in her life is going to change. She's
going to meet the man of her dreams.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Mind's like, she doesn't know it yet, but her she's
gonna walk in on her boyfriend cheating on her.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Oh god, I've like she doesn't know it yet, but
she's about to score a perfect you know gray on
this test and then become a world renowned doctor. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I haven't seen that.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
You have.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
What is giving me this stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
I don't know. That's interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So his was funny but also sad because he's like,
she doesn't know yet, but she's about to go perform
a facelift on an influencer that two months later it
is going to claim that to her followers that her
face is this way because of Guasha. Yes, and she's
going to sell some Guasha tool to like all of
her followers and like not disclose. So that's what I
(26:35):
think you're talking about, Like that is a problem. But
I guess if someone doesn't want to say like me
even thinking, like in your friend group, like say you
choose to have something done and you show up and
your friends are like, huh, something looks different, like did
you get something done?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Like what do you do?
Speaker 3 (26:48):
If you're like you don't want your friends to know.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
What do you say and you don't tell them? I
guess but you say, oh, I just I got a
lot of rest sleep, does wonders? Oh, oh, you know,
you know, drinking lots of water. I went to the sauna. Yeah, yeah,
that's tough. I don't think there there's a blanket answer
for that.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Because I think I'm trying to be private about it.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
How if you're trying to be private, then I guess
that's your prerogative. I would be curious of why wouldn't
you want your close friends to know that if you
don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
M okay, so fine, it could be your close friends.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
So that's but then, but not everybody needs to know
that kind of stuff. I think that you're right, there's
not everybody needs to know that you go to therapy,
what you talk about in therapy. Not everybody needs to
know like why you look that way, what medical procedures
you've done. Not everybody needs to know that. But I
think I would ask, I am getting something like botox,
Why wouldn't I want somebody to know that. That means
(27:46):
that to me, there might be something in there that's
shame around it.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Or or they don't want to feel if or maybe your.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Friends don't like it and your friends are going to
judge you for it, Then like I get that, and
maybe we need to have a conversation with those friends.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah, find if you want your friends to be supportive,
but you don't have to like go find totally new friends.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yes I didn't mean that, but I actually do understand that,
Like if there's somebody that you know there would be
very judgmental and you wouldn't want their opinion, then like
I get not feeling uneasy about that. And that's where
that like secrecy and privacy stuff comes in.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like the difference And we've talked about this too before
with Brene Brown said about the vulnerability. I think you're
the one that quoted her, I can't remember the exact quote.
Maybe if I start talking about it, it'll jog you
your memory. But like some people will hear, oh, I
need to be more vulnerable, and so that means I
think they need to put it all out there for
everybody on social media.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's like manufactured vulnerability, right.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
But being vulnerable doesn't mean telling the whole world, not
in all of your things.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
It's not information like vulnerability is in relationship with people.
Vulnerability is me sharing something with you and there's uncertainty
in it, not me posting something in order to get
a reaction. Makes sense.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, anyway, shout out Joe McHale for his vulnerability and
transparent about his transplants because he does that. Yeah. I
feel like we're we're constantly having to as women. When
you talk about the wheel that we're on, it's like
we have to if we want to step off. There's
(29:20):
unlearning that has to happen. Yeah, I mean that's what
it re establish like what we want and that's.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Hard and what do I actually believe versus what have
I've been taught to believe? Yeah, that is some of
the hardest work that I do with people in therapy.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
We have for everybody a little choose your heart. It's
like choose your adventure, choose your hard So Kat and
are going to go back and forth on what it's hard,
because re establishing is hard. On learning is hard. Not
having money for retirement is hard. So assessing where you're
spending it and trying to put some money away because
(29:57):
we're not getting any younger around here.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
But not doing all of the things that you're used
to doing that make you feel good is hard.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
That's hard, Yeah, letting go of that stuff. And I
will say, yes, I really really struggled with no Botoks.
But if I do decide to go back to it,
I feel like I'll feel more excited or empowered about it.
I know exactly what doing, I know why I'm doing it,
and I'm gonna know like that I want this amount
maybe TBD, maybe I do something else. I don't know.
(30:22):
I have some things to think about. This is inspired
by an article that I saw in Harvard What is
that from Harvard Health? Harwood?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
What is that from?
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I don't know? I like it it is. It is
a famous movie quote. But all I can think about
is in Legally Blonde and she's like, what, like it's hard.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Oh, yeah, it actually is. Yeah, it's hard. Uh ha.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Shoot.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I know people are listening right now and they're like,
we know exactly what that is. We don't have shand
I'm here today to look it up.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
You've talked about that before.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I probably have to say it, okay, But I mean
sometimes you can again into the back of your brain
and retrieve whatever it is, and then sometimes you just
can't welcome to my brain choose your heart. So I'm
going to say something that's hard, and then kat is
gonna follow it up with the relatable thing of the
opposite of what is hard. So like both are hard,
(31:15):
you get to choose which one you want to be in.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Growing is hard, stay the same as hard. Believing in
yourself is hard, Doubting yourself is hard, Taking risks is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Stain in your comfort zone is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Setting boundaries is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Not having boundaries is hard.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Forgiving is hard. Holding grudges is also hard. Saying no
is hard, Saying yes.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
To everything is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
Loving yourself is hard.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Hating yourself is hard.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
Healing is hard, Stain wounded is hard, Being vulnerable is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Building walls is hard.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Having a tough conversation is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Living with unspoken resentment is hard.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Doing that was hard. But I just thought it paints
a good picture of like, this is hard, and then
what you were saying was the opposite, and it's like,
but that's also hard. So that's part of the adventure.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Choose your heart.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Yeah, like which hard do you want to sit in?
Speaker 1 (32:27):
It reminds me of like the Instagram quote life is hard,
get a helmet. It's not very helpful, but like, I
think that's like a tough love type of but yeah, yeah,
life is hard, so we can't avoid all of the hard.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
But like choose which already one? I think that it's
just good a good reminder that, yes, like growth is hard.
Or if you want to read that book and you're
in the first two chapters and you know, taking a
look at your finances, like so set aside, hot Girl,
Hamster Wheel, what if it's just like a challenge you
in a way to look at your finances. I mean
(33:05):
I had to do that in my divorce and that
was hard. But also ignoring it and being ignorant to
it and just spending blindly, how that would be really hard,
Having anxiety, getting a lump in my throat every time
I had to talk about finances because I felt so
overwhelmed by it. That was hard. Yeah, you know what's
good now is like I can log in and look
(33:28):
at spreadsheets and look at numbers and go to my
Rocket money app and I know exactly where everything's going
and I can open it up without getting a lump
in my throat, Whereas I used to get a lump,
and it was just because I was completely detached from it.
I didn't even give myself the opportunity. I was too
there's too much fear there and I had spent so
many years avoiding it. So stepping into that was hard,
(33:51):
But which is harder continuing to live that way? So
choose your hard. People are probably gonna listen to that
over we're and nowhere, like let me rewind that make
it your ring.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Down, or you're gonna call back town when people call you,
that's what they hear.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Choose your heart. It's like growing is hard, staying the
same as hard. Believing in yourself is hard. You know,
it's hard finding your car in a parking garage, at
least for me.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Well, I can relate. So what makes you bring this up?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Well? So Alex and I went to the mall my boyfriend,
and we parked on green level two. The poles were
green and it was level two, and so we're getting
out of the car and we're walking and we go
up multiple escalators, and to me, I was like, over
and over in my head green level two, Green level two,
green green, green level two, and I'm looking for and
I'm like, oh, venning machine there, green level two. Which
(34:46):
sometimes I take a picture, which that probably would be better,
but for whatever reason, it's not what I was doing.
I just was giving myself little reminders so that I
can make my way back to the car. And he's like,
what are you doing? And I was like, you don't
have to do this, and he's like, no, I know
exactly where we parked. And I'm like, so you're telling
me we're going to go into the mall and you're
gonna walk all around the mall to all different stores,
(35:09):
up and down, round and round, and then you're gonna
know where we parked.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
And he's like, yeah, what do you have a photographic memory?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
No, but he's like, I know exactly where we parked,
green level two and story around the corner, and the
mind matuement, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Like, yeah, you only know that because you listen to
me song.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Now He's like, I know exactly where we are, and
I'm like, oh, leave the things I have to do
to remember, like where I parked, and if I don't
do that, and that's this is me learning my lesson.
That's why now I either take pictures or I sing
little songs and I do a little reminders because if
I just if I'm distracted, I'm I'm on the phone
and I park and I get out of my car
and I go in and do whatever. I will get
back on the elevator or descalator and I'll be like,
(35:49):
I have no idea where I don't know. I have
no idea. Am I going to three? Four, five, six?
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
So this is a little timely that you up because
I was on the phone with you. How you were.
I parked in this parking garage today. It's going to
the doctor, and the last time I went there, I
got lost. But I told myself that's not gonna happen
today because it's just not I learned more about the building,
(36:18):
so I thought I would understand. Well, I leave my appointment,
which there are a couple things happened that now I'm thinking,
like we're so oddly embarrassing, but like really weren't embarrassing.
One being I got on the elevator to leave, and
you could either go to the lobby or to the garage.
Those are the buttons. I didn't know which one it was,
(36:38):
so I pressed both of them and I was like,
I'll just do both and see which one it is.
But then more people got in the elevator and I
was like, they can't know that I don't know where
I'm going. Yeah, So then it got to one. I
just got off and I was like walked around a
little bit, and I was like, well, maybe I'll just
I thought maybe I could figure it out from there,
but like really I needed to get back on the
elevator and go back down, but that would have been
(37:00):
like too much. So then I end up getting to
the parking garage and I can see my car, I
can hear my car when I'm clicking it, but I
cannot figure out how to get to it. At one point,
I stopped and I pretended that I was on the
phone and like walking laps around the parking garage getting
my steps in because I didn't want people to know
(37:21):
that I was lost in the parking garage. It just
felt so embarrassing that like people were walking around and
I was like walking this way, and then walking this way,
and then walking all the way around this way, and
then I was going up the stairs and then down
the stairs, and like should I try to get in
the elevator and try that way? And why are there
green over here? But there's blue over here? I knew
I parked in green, but like I also knew where
my car was. I could see it, I couldn't get
(37:42):
to it. So I just pretended like I was like
on my breakout work getting my steps in, and.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
I've had people were like look at her getting her steps.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Yeah, but like why is that embarrassing?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Well, yeah, I'm joking because they weren't paying attention too,
And I'm the same, like why why would I care
if I don't know where I'm going? And like I
want to act like I know where I'm going and
people aren't paying attention to us, like they don't care.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
But it made me think of like what are the
things in life that are that feel embarrassing, that shouldn't
feel embarrassing like walking, like if you're at the you
park somewhere and you're like walking in somewhere and then
you forget somethings you have to walk back, like you
turn around.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
I don't embarrass by that.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Oh my god, it's like, oh, like people are I
don't know. That feels similar to like me walking around
the parking garage, Like no, people like know that I
forgot something that shouldn't be embarrassing. Yeah, you know. Or
like speaking of the grocery store when you are trying
or any store when you pay with cash and then
you're trying to like put the money back in your wallet,
but then like start ringing up the next person and
(38:38):
you're like just shoving it in there, or do you
take your time?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I haven't paid with cash at the grocery store and like.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Or just like getting your stuff together, like my receipt
and like do you put it like in your wallet?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Okay, You're like trying to hurry and you're like yeah,
the next person's already.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Grocery store and embarrassing makes me think of when I
had a needing disorder. If I would buy certain foods,
I didn't want people to like i'd be buying. Maybe
I would just be even buying like one thing of
ice cream, but because I had shame around that, I
would get like a thing of celery too, and somehow
like that. I was like, I'm not just here to
(39:15):
buy ice cream. I'm here to buy celery too.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's not like you weren't gonna.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I had a lot, but I didn't need the celery.
But I they probably wouldn't think anything of me buying
ice cream because that should be normal, but because I
had so much shame, I was embarrassed, so I added
the celery.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
But then they're probably like, what is she doing with
the ice cream and the cellery?
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
And they're like, you know me, well, ronded. I just
came here to pick up a few things.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Yeah, Like I didn't come all the way here just
because of ice cream. Or if sometimes i'd be doing
like a fast food thing and I would be getting
a lot of food.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
You're like pretending like there's more people they were for
somebody else to and my friend.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I didn't feel like i'd be like, so oh, and
I think wants I think he wants a diet come
or I think I think they said a twelve piece.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, well let me check really, or like you're reading
off of your phone, but really it's your own order.
So I'm laughing. But also this is just sad.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
But it was my own shame and embarrassment, like I
thought they were judging me on what which Really they
are probably not paying attention, like they don't care. They
have people that come through and order like from one
little fry to like ten fries, like it doesn't matter,
they're just taking order. It's the stories we have in
our mind. Just like nobody was looking at you in
the parking lot, but you're like, I'm on the phone
(40:36):
getting my steps for the day, like I work here,
I know exactly where my car is.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
That's when I found my car. I was like, oh
this thing. I haven't been looking for this for twenty minutes.
I even texted my mom. I was like, Mom, I'm
lost again in the same parking crunch. So our embarrassment
is in our head. Yes, well okay, So I looked
on Reddit to see like what other things people thought
we're embarrassing but really aren't. And I want to know
(41:03):
if you because you don't want to agree with the
couple of those. So I want to know if you
think these are embarrassing. Okay, So I looked on Reddit
to see like what other things people thought were embarrassing
but really aren't. And I want to know if because
(41:25):
you don't want to agree with the couple of those,
So I want to know if you think these are embarrassing. Okay, Okay,
So having to sneeze like when you're like you know
what's coming, but like you're in a conversation and you're like.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, mine's more probably after the sneeze comes out, depending
on how I was able to control it, because sometimes
I can feel like I can sneeze cute, and then
other times I sneeze like, you know, an eighty year
old man.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
It's embarrassing for me as a therapist in a session
if you're like talking about something serious and you're like,
do you know if you need a sneeze? You a
look at like yeah, okay, well I try to do that,
but then it's like awkward, and then I let the
sneeze go away, goes away, I'm like okay, I'm good,
and then it comes back. It's a whole thing.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
It's a whole thing. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
So yeah, having sneeze calling in sick when you're sick.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
No, No, you're like embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I don't know that's what they said. This one walking
to the bathroom with tampons.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Well, I guess I normally stick it where like stick
it like in a pocket. But because like I'm not
trying to But why because well, because I guess it's
not been normalized to just announce to my colleagues that
I'm on my way to stick a tampon.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Well. Ali Fallon talked about this on Instagram a while ago,
and I really liked it. She should be somebody that
we've phone in for this conversation, but she said, like
it should This is like shouldn't be embarrassing. This is
like a normal thing that's supposed to have. This is
supposed to happen to us.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
And it's been happening to women since the beginning of time.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yes, So like I'm going to the bathroom to take
care of some thing, to like actually practice good hygiene,
and this is something good that is happening. So why
would I be embarrassed that I have to use this thing?
You know?
Speaker 3 (43:10):
So I didn't wanting to try that period underwear?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
What period underwear instead of it just soaks up all
your blood. Yeah, but then you sit in it all day.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
I don't know, never tried it, Okay, I don't know
what it works. We probaly shouldn't talk about it. I
don't know. People were like, cool, I was eating breakfast.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's fun, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
Running through the airport, Oh yeah, totally embarrassing, so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I've had to do it.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
And if you're like out of breath, just the worst,
like and then you get on the plane and you're
breathing and you're sweating, and then the plane is hot.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Yeah, when somebody lets you cross the crosswalk like a
car and you like have to like pretend like you're
hurrying up, but really you're just like walking. Yeah, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
I guess it feels a little awkward, but I'm not
like totally embarrassed. But back to the plane thing, like
running an airport. If I am the last person aboard
the flight, I'm embarrassed. I hate it.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I get so much anxiety, like what if there's not
room for your bag or what if you have to
ask somebody to move and they don't really want to
move And people be crazy on the plane lately. Oh,
this one might not relate to this, but going on
a first date and trying to act surprised when they
tell things about themselves, but you've secretly already stalked them,
and you're like, oh, yeah, I had no idea that
you grew up in Oklahoma. That's so weird, and no
(44:23):
idea that your mom owns a card making business in Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Then he's like, wait, I didn't tell you it was
in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Oh did I say Connecticut? I'm sorry, I'm just lucky.
Guess I feel that. Okay, And then the last one,
I think you're gonna agree, saying goodbye and then walking
in the same direction.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Oh yeah, it's awkward.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
That's awkward. Maybe not embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, it's just more like, okay, do we say bye again?
Speaker 1 (44:51):
You're going this way too.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Funny? He well, I love that cat. Thank you for
cheering with us. You're embarrassing moment.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, and thank you for bringing to light that it's
the stories in our head.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
You're welcome. We have an email of the day. If
someone's listening today for the first time, they're like, what
they think? Thank you and pause and you're welcome in pause,
and I guess. Yeah, that's the first one we've done
it in this episode. I think earlier, I think that
was in Couch Talks. Yeah. Fun fact we film them
on the same day. Okay, Email of the Day, speaking
(45:25):
of emails, which that's what our Couch Talks episodes are,
and those go up on Thursdays, and then our Feeling
Things are every Tuesday. And I know you mentioned Ali Fallon,
so before I get to the Email of the Day,
I'll just mention that on Saturday is something that you'll
see on our Feeling Things feed every Saturday is podcasts
from a network that I have that are some really
(45:47):
amazing women and I think you would like their content,
and it's loading up on our feet on Saturdays. So
if you're seeing that, that's what it is. It's women
from my network, and Allie Fallon is one of them.
She has a podcast called Write Your Story, Amanda Rieger
Green has Soul Sessions, and Leanne Ellington has What's God
(46:09):
Got to Do with It? So there's a three different
podcasts you'll see pop up on Saturday. They'll either be
in rotation or they're all going to load together. We're
playing around with some stuff just as a way to,
you know, spread spread the news, Spread the news, and
so maybe you can find something new to listen to
or someone new to follow on Instagram and see if
(46:30):
any of their stuff resonates with you. Email of the
day this, Oh do we not know who it's from? Oh?
We do?
Speaker 1 (46:38):
And she said we could say her name?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Okay, Kat, We'll look that up while I read it.
Love the show, Kat and Amy is so glad you
are doing this together. It makes me laugh. I learn
a lot and love seeing two friends shine together. I
heard the episode you did where you mentioned Megan Markle
sending emails to her kids. I wanted to share an
alternate idea. I hate buying B Day, Anniversary, ECCE or carts.
(47:01):
I hate trying to keep them so that I can
look back at them when I know I probably won't.
I'd rather take that five to seven dollars and add
it to the gift. So when my husband and I
got married, I found two nine dollars journals at home Goods,
one for each of us. Every Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day,
and anniversary. We write our own card to each other
(47:23):
in the journal. Romantically, I want someone to find these
journals when we're long gone and turn them into a
Hallmark movie. Well, the beginning of our marriage may be more.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
PG.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Thirteen smiley face probably.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Are That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
Just kidding. I've gone back to read the entries and
it's beautiful to see our relationship evolve over the years.
This has been so special to us that while we
weren't able to have kids, I have gotten a journal
for each of our three nephews and niece. Every birthday,
I write a note to them. It won't be an
overwhelming amount to read when they get older, but I
(48:03):
hope to encapsulate their personalities and stories through it and
maybe pass on some things I've learned. Just thought this
might be helpful and less overwhelming idea than the emails.
And Kat and I both love this idea so much,
and I think it's so great for couples. I'm really
really into it. And then you have it there and
it's like.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
These, I'm going to buy two journals.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
I can't wait to work Patrick. Okay, did you get
her name?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Heidi? Heidi? Thanks Heidi. I love this idea because same,
I have a hole. Mean, I have cards everywhere because
feel bad throwing them out. But then I'm like, am
I going to go back and go through? Maybe I
don't know, but a journal seems much easier to keep
up with. And it's speaking of finances financially savvy.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, cards are so expensive now.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, and I usually buy like the nine nine cent
ones And then I'm like, well, this is like even
stupid because they're not even like cute.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Yeah, they're not like the fun ones.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Someone's like ten dollars.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
They can get pricey, especially the pop up ones does
use it. But cry Okay is in here. She's working
the cameras right now, and she loves a good card
and she will spend a lot of money on a card.
But that's something so that's her. That's something she knows
about herself. Like she loves to circle back to the
beginning of the episode and put a bow on this thing,
like that's something she knows. She loves to do, Like Kat,
(49:22):
I'm just speaking for you, But she loves to pick
out the card. She loves when it's a cool card,
and then she loves giving you the card.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Do you She loves even just if she sees a
card that reminds yeah, she'll buy it.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
It's not even for an occasion, so that's like sweet though,
that's like part of her thing and she's awesome. It
has to be a perfect card, but that's important to her.
Like for her, it's like she may be like, eh,
I'm not gonna write in some silly journal on getting
you a card, and that's what she wants to do,
and she could do.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Some people love collecting those, so.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
I say some of them and then I'm like, how
do I decide which ones I'm saving them? Which ones
I don't and I don't. I think it's just like
whatever mood I'm in that day. But speaking of okay,
she will, I'm pretty sure she's gonna always pay to
get her nails done, and that's okay. She gets to
do that, and then I probably will.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
She pays to get her nails done. You have bare
naked nails and you won't even let me do them,
and then I do my own nails. Everybody is different
and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Yeah, we are an example of the world.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
We are not the most diverse.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
We are so diverse. Just kidding, Yeah that we're we're
aware of that. That was a joke.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
See, got to make a little jokesy.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
You're funny. Yeah, thanks for listening. Kat and I both
hope that you have the day you need to have
and we want to hear from you. Email us hey
there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. If you want
to email us for couch talks, put that in the
subject line. If you want to be anonymous, make sure
you include that information. Shout out Heidi. Sorry we left
(50:56):
your name off at the beginning. And then also you
can call us leave us a boy smell eight seven
seven two oh seven two oh seven seven, and I
guess we'll see you on Thursday for couch Talks. Follow
us on YouTube, oh yeah, Feeling Things podcasts. Follow us
on Instagram Feeling Things.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Podcasts, We made it easy.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Follow us on TikTok Feeling things podcasts.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah. Follow us on TikTok please, what why? I feel
like that's we need to grow people there. Oh no,
not follow us.
Speaker 3 (51:22):
You're just younger so you feel like TikTok school.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Watch our tiktoks. Please watch them. Yes, we need them
to circulate. I find so much stuff through just clips
on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah, we have have had some that have popped off.
We have some clothes.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
Trying on TikTok, And then there was one video.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I didn't even upload it correctly because I'm just not
on TikTok as much, and I thought it was a
video and it is a picture. That's why Cat is like,
can you'll please go to our TikTok and help it?
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Because you posted a picture with music, I screenshot it
and send it to where And I was like, am
I missing? Is this a trend? I don't get what
you're doing.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Yeah, I don't know what happened quite honestly.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
You like sit on your phone or something.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
No. No, I posted that, but I thought it was
the video, but I did not add the song. I
did not. I thought it was just us talking. I
know it was a screenshot which I remember clicked on
the rock listen.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
Yeah cool, we do our on social media here.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
If you can't tell. But that's what's made it so
much more fun. Like I love having Kat as a partner,
and we've had a good time and it's fun and yeah,
I can't wait to like get out and about if
we do some lives and like meeting our listeners and
we want to see y'all, so more of that to
come soon and some other exciting news. Yeah, so we
leave you with that.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Okay, bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Bobby Bones
Amy Brown
Lunchbox
Eddie Garcia
Morgan Huelsman
Raymundo
Mike D
Abby Anderson
Scuba Steve
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