Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally with Morgan Juelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome friends.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I am super excited about this episode. It's Morgan here,
and I hope each episode of Take This Personally so
far has helped you either learn things about yourself or
helped you in whatever season of life you may be in.
This week, I have on expert Nicole, who is a
neuroscientist and incredibly well versed in all things brain health.
(00:40):
Then I'm bringing on my good friend Jared Houston, who
shared the ups and downs of his life journey that
got him to where he is today as a celebrity
personal trainer, author and business owner. I am so excited
(01:09):
to welcome Nicole on with us right now. Nicole, how
are you today?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I am great. Thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm so excited because you are a neuroscientist, you have
a master's in organizational psychology, and you're a personal coach,
which is so many titles and just totally awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Thank you, that's really kind.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I'm so excited for this.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
With all of those titles, you have some incredible knowledge
and I want to start with something super easy just
to kick it off, and we're going to talk about
the basics of brain health. So how would you know
if your brain is healthy and happy versus kind of
living in a state of turmoil or chaos per se.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Well, that's hard to answer because it depends on whether
you have stuff going on. But I always say that
you know, a lot of individuals will work on their
mental health, but then they won't be working on their
brain health. So it's quite hard to sort of be
cognit natively there if you will or happy, if you're
not getting sleep, and if you're not hydrating correctly, if
you're not exercising. So provided you've got all of those
(02:08):
things ticked off and your mental health is still not great,
then you can start thinking, Okay, maybe there's something in
your life that's troubling you or you've got a lot
of stress. But ticking off the basics means that then
your brain can do what it needs to and those
are things like sleep, those are things like nutrition, hydration,
and exercise. And you know, we don't have to go
crazy with all these things either. I post about exercise,
(02:29):
and I think some people get a bit triggered thinking,
you know, like you have to do a marathon running
you don't have to you know, you can go for
a walk something as profound, it's just going for a
walk and be so beneficial for your brain.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, And I was going to ask you about that,
because we know exercise is good for many things, not
just brain health, but health in general. And like you mentioned,
it doesn't have to be anything crazy. What are some
other activities that we can do on top of exercising
that are good for your brain health.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
So, I mean exercise is great because I always try
and post about reasons to exercise that are not just
associated to weight loss. I think when people hear the
word exercise, they automatically think lose weight, But there's so
much more to that. Exercise increases something called BDNF, which
is brain derived neurotrophic factor. It is essentially a protein
or a molecule that helps strengthen the synapses in your brain.
(03:15):
So they actually looked at post mortem brains of older individuals,
and the ones that stayed active actually had more proteins
in the synapses, meaning that the cognition was more integral,
their synapses were stronger. Now, it's hard to imagine having
synapses that are strong because we can't see them, but
if you think about a muscle being strong, you think
about your bones being strong, having more bone density. It's
(03:36):
the same thing as happening in your brain with brain
derived neurotrophic factors. It's actually literally solidifyingly sinapses so that
we can maintain cognition. Another thing about exercise is that
with resistance, exercise especially increases something called IGF one into
in growth like factor one, and that is extremely beneficial
in maintaining cognition as well. So I always encourage everyone
(03:58):
to exercise for those reasons, because longevity is anchored in
what we do right now with our life, you know,
with our habits and our health and just small things. Again,
it doesn't need to be crazy stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
As if mental health physical health aren't enough, do it
for your brain health too.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Yeah, and it all goes hand in hand. I mean,
it's all tied together. You know, when you exercise, you
release and dolphins you feel good. No one regrets an exercise.
I appreciate that some people, you know, find that a
bit daunting of a stressful. I get a lot of
people that say that actually causes them anxiety, and I
can completely sort of resonate for that because I think
we are in a culture that encourages exercise from a
weight loss perspective, and we have so many social media
(04:36):
influences that you know, look great and you know people
probably feel intimidated, and I understand. But there's so many hobbies.
There's so many things you can do that don't need
to be like going to the gym and lifting. It
could be you know, walking or yoga. Even meditating is
so good for b the enough it's taking up a sport.
Swimming you don't even have to talk to anyone when
you're swimming. Your ears are literally underwater.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Yeah, exactly, I love those. Those are some you know,
other active you can do. Is there anything outside of
exercise that you're like, make sure you're doing this for
your brain health? Exercise is really important. What's kind of
some other ones there?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I think the key to keeping brain health is staying active,
so not just physically, but mentally as well. So continue
to learn new things, continue to stay engaged with life.
I know that jobs can get very stressful, and I
think we all saw it through the lockdown, you know,
when we're in these confined spaces and people having to
live in maybe not such happy homes or maybe just
seeing the same thing every day. It's taxing on the
(05:30):
brain and we do see it in research and especially
in mice experiments. When you put them in an environment
that is monotonous and that is not joyful, they will
dispense drugs if they are available. But the drug is
available even if they are in an environment that is happy,
and they choose not to dispense drugs, So the choice
is always there.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
The environment as well.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Keeps them happy, so staying engaged with life, so finding
a hobby. And we see this in all the individuals
who maintain volunteering jobs or hobbies or continue to socialize
with friends. They live more prosperous lives and that is
linked to b D and F when we are learning.
When we continue to learn, we continue to change our
brain to sort of it's almost like not letting it stagnate,
(06:09):
if you will, And that is because of b D
and F. When we learn, we increase b D and
F as well. So I actually get all my clients
to do some ball training games, or I encourage them
to use the opposite hand.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So try and brush your teeth with your left.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Hand if you're right handed, or the other hand if
you're left handed. It's really hard and it's actually really challenging.
So just taking your mind and your brain sort of
places where it's not comfortable will mean that it has
to drive BDNF and then in turn keep you integrity.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I mean, I took up adult gymnastics at twenty eight,
and I felt really good about that. But now I
want to brush my teeth with my left hand because
that sounds even more challenge people.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
That ask me questions what the best way to keep
my brain health that the cheapest cost is just hydrating
consistently literally hydrating water, because I found it's quite crazy,
but there's a lot of people that don't drink a
lot of water throughout the day. I clients that only
drink coffee and tea in the evening.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's very brittile.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
And I was say, no, no, no, You've got to drink water.
There's ball through in my coffee and I'm thinking, no,
you have to drink water.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Well, I will say I am one of those people.
For whatever reason, I my taste buds hate water. I
do my best, though, to still force myself to drink
water because I do know I feel better when I.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Could you put electrolyteses you can afford electrolytes, pop them
in and then you've got a flavored water.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
So yes, I do meo mio is my like go
to to. You just sported in and it makes me
drink more water. So I found the little cure perfect.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
And if it's got electrolytes, and then it's even better
because your synapses communicate through sodium potassium pump, which is
literally sodium potassium communicating through a membrane, and that's how
we generate energy to spike in action potential, which then
sends the information to another sign apps you see. So
something as simple as ingesting electrolytes can help maintain cognition
and brain help.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I love when we find out that we're doing good things.
It's wrongly find now we're doing bad things. I'm really
excited when I find out I did good. It's actually
true that different parts of our brain trigger different things.
You know, they talk about the right brain and the
left brain and creativity versus analytical. Is that something that's
actually true or is that something that just kind of
came out into the universe.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
It came out into the universe with good reason, but
we disprove it. If you will so the left side
of the brain and the right side of brain both
work together in language, so they used to think that
the left side was more logical. I think it's that
way around that. I don't even know anymore because I
know that it's not that way. So I think the
left side they believe was more logical was because it
dealt with language. But actually the right hand side helps
put the sentence together, so it puts sort of context
(08:33):
to the message, whereas a left side just sort of.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Picks up on the actual words.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
But no, we don't have a sort of left brain
right brain dominancy. But with that being said, the left
side of the brain does control the right and the
right does control the left. So if you're right handed
and you use your right hand more, you might be
using it a bit more of your left hand side.
But the brain is always going to maximize itself, and
it's always going to make sure that it's using one
hundred percent of its energy. And the other myth is
(08:57):
that we use ten percent of our brains. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
We use it.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
The brain will maximize itself where it can. So creativity
and logical thinking actually come from two separate networks. One
network for creativity is called the default mode network. It's
a network of three brain areas and actually form a
triangle sort of like here in the frontal lobes and
then down to the side and then.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Sort of back together.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Okay, so you can see it now on both sides,
and that's responsible for mind wandering sometimes rumination as well,
but that creativity and individuals who have a higher connectivity
in that system are able to siphon memories and use
them as inspiration, which someone like me will probably lack
a little bit of, although I'm a little bit creative,
but it can be trained. The brain is classic, so
it can be trained. You can become more creative, you
(09:40):
can become more logical. The logic network of the brain
is also on both sides, and it's called the central
executive network. So that's cognitively demanding tasks, problem solving, and
there will be higher connectivity in the frontal lobes because
that's where your conscious sort of decision making comes from.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Wow, that is fascinating, especially to learn the myths that
we learned thanks to the Internet, but thank you for
debunking some of those for us. It sounds like we
can use all of our brains to unlock some new
potential because it's constantly learning.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
You often talk about rewiring the subconscious part of our brains.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
You know, why would.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Someone need to do this or want to do this?
What does that kind of look like?
Speaker 4 (10:20):
So I get a lot of clients that sort of
come to me and they say, I have these thoughts.
I have these negative thoughts, and they're purely based on
or they have negative ideas about themselves, and they're normally
based on either what their parents did said or what
friends around them said while they were growing up. Observational
knowledge is fantastic because we can learn how to get
to school with our parents without paying attention, right, But
(10:41):
we also see how they interact in the world and
we learn from them. So a lot of my clients
will have picked up habits from their parents that they
wish they didn't have, and I think a lot of
people can resonate with that, and a lot of people
are trying to sort of break those patterns as well.
Whether that's true or not, there are other ways that
that can manifest itself.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
So maybe you have.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Bad experiences, you have trauma, but you have these deeply
ingrained memories that are integrated into your behavior in your
subconscious if you will so, ninety percent of our brains,
around ninety percent is subconscious. Ten percent is your conscious thought. Now,
what I mean by that is when you pick up
your toothbrush, you start brushing your teeth with your right
hand side right. You don't even think about that, You
just do it. It's automatic. When you sort of scope
(11:20):
out the world, your brain is constantly matching images with
what it already knows and telling your basil ganglia, which
is a part of the brain stemp that everything is fine.
If something is out of place, if something is new,
or there's a car driving down a one way or
on a pavement, that's when the image doesn't make sense
to your brain, and that's when it alert your conscious
brain to do something about it. And that same thing
(11:41):
happens with behaviors. So little pattern, little messages that we
tell ourselves, little negative thoughts, automatic reactions. Especially my women
clients will look in the mirror and automatically think that
they don't look good. Those are the subconscious thoughts and
pattern that we want to break. We want to change
them because a they are not true, and if they
are true, we can work on them.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
So that's something you work with clients to help them
rewire their brain.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Yes, that is essentially what I do. We also look
at brain performance, so depending on who the client is
and depending on what they want to do. But I
would say maybe eight and a half times out of
ten people have something that they want to change when
it comes to thought processing.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
That's really cool to hear that that's something we have
access to do.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, the brain is plastic. The brain can change in
it pretty much almost anyway, of course, depending on how
much attention and intention we put in and depending you know,
there are some genetic factors of course as well.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
It might inhibit us.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
But we can always sort of get better and work
with what we've got as well.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Mental health is a hot topic right now, which is
awesome that people want to share more about it. But
there is a difference from my understanding, between adaptational mental
health and people who have mental health diseases.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Is that correct?
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Can you explain that because I know on the internet
they kind of all get looped together and we think
because we have one, we may have a disease.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
But that's not necessarily the case.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Not necessarily the case and I encourage anyone who might
sort of pick up on what I'm about to say
to pay attention. And I think important thing and these
things is to not self diagnose. If you think that
you have a mental health disorder or disease, to go
and see a professional. Now, disease or disorder is on
a spectrum, right. You can go through a period of
depression that is real, that is true, that is but
(13:14):
not necessarily have the clinical sort of atiology for disorder.
For that disorder, it might be temporary, it might be circumstantial,
it might be due to a chronic information in the system.
So you're going through a very stressful period. You are
susceptible to chronic inflammation, and chronic inflammation is one of
the biggest contributors to depressive symptoms. But that can change.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Now.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
It's hard for me to obviously give out universal advice
on a podcast because I don't know who the listeners are,
But of course there are there are spectrums to it,
you know, And I think we are uncovering a lot
about depression and other brain health disorders that I'm hopeful
for the future in you know, mental health.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
That's a really exciting thing to hear too. The fact
that we just keep advancing in technology and knowledge puts
us on a better track.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, and the fact that we're talking about it, that's
cathartic and itself. I mean, I went on Alive with
someone at doctor Caroline Boyd, and she was talking about
how actually we have this ability to self heal, and
she was talking about it from a traumatic site because
she deals with trauma. Because she was saying that talking
to friends, talking to family, talking to loved ones is
already going to start the process of you healing, and
(14:17):
it is within yourself. Is a doctor in America, Bruce D.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Perry. He's amazing.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
I love him.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
He's a child psychiatrist and he always says that I've
read a couple of his books that the children that
he deals with, the ones that are placed in loving
homes or have a good network around them of supportive friends, family,
the relative maybe even parents, they are the ones that
will thrive and get through in Okay. So human connection
and just being able to confide in someone can already
(14:42):
be so healing for the individual.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And that's you know, why I started this podcast was
to ensure that we feel more connected to people and
less alone in what's happening in our lives.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Even if you know, maybe somebody didn't get that as
a child, maybe they're getting it now even a little
bit through this podcast.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
One hundred percent, and it can change. And also I
did a little bit of a deep delve and there's
not that much research around this, but I actually started
sort of doing a bit of sort of research in
asking people and having a pen pal. You know, an
online friend can be just as therapeutic as having an
in person friend. You know, obviously there are benefits to
having someone there and you know, the touch, the sensation
is nice, but having a pen pal or someone online
(15:23):
can be just as useful. So I know that there's
a lot of people that struggle with loneliness. But the
good news is that we can reach out to the
internet for help.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
The good side of the internet.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
The whole idea that your mind plays tricks on you,
is that an actual truth saying or is that also
something we made?
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Have No, so we have a negativity bias. We are
more susceptible to thinking negatives. So they did this in
studies of economics, and it's called loss of versions. So
if you receive three nice comments on your Instagram, would
you receive one nasty one, You'll most likely go to
bed worrying about the nasty one instead of remembering the
three nice ones. Right, that's a negativity bias. So the
(16:00):
ratio is about two and a half three to one.
Then we have this limbic system, which is your emotional brain,
and then we have sort of logic brain, which is
your executive function, which is sort of putting you in
logical thinking. So you know, when you're hungry and you're
literally hungry, it's the thing. It's your emotional brain talking,
and then you're eating, you're like, I'm so sorry, I
(16:21):
don't know I said that.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And I know that's all too well, way too well.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Same.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
So, yes, our anxious brain or our emotional brain will
make us believe things that are not necessarily true. Okay,
and there might be some element to that. So what
I always say to my client is write it down,
write it down, make a list, because that's going to
activate your logical thinking. Now you start writing it down,
now you can start seeing it on paper from a
different perspective, from a logical perspective. Then you can start
(16:47):
assessing is this actually real? You know, these things that
I'm saying to myself they true. Okay, fine, maybe they are,
but we can change them.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Right.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
If we can't, then we need to find a way
to work through them. But most of the time, people
they over sort of how they actually feel about themselves
until they actually start talking to me and they're like, oh, actually, yeah,
maybe it wasn't that bad. You know, there is definitely
a thing. And that's not to sort of discount anyone's
anxiety to say that it's not real, but that is
to say that, you know, we do have this emotional
(17:15):
brain that talks to us quite often.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Gosh, they're dang emotional brain. I think it gets us
more than we think.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Especially if you are sort of in survival mode, if
you are highly strung, highly stressed, you know, your brain
is going to be operating to just keep you alive.
And that is an emotional thing, right, So you're going
to be triggered much easier. You're going to be emotional
much easier. There's a you know, we can see why
people suffer so much with these thoughts, these intrusive thoughts
and depressive symptoms as well, and it's a real hole
(17:43):
to get out of sometimes, and anyone that can and
has they should really thank themselves because it's so hard
to get yourself out of that dip back out and like, okay,
I'm actually okay now.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
If anyone who just heard her say that, if you've
come out of that, definitely celebrate yourself because that's the accomplishment.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
It's yeah, exactly, and on a neurobiological level, it is
a whole. You know, your monoamines, your dopamine, europeneffron, serotonin,
they're all low. We don't know exactly, and I think
a lot of people probably read the paper about the
serotonin theories, but there is a mona amine theory around depression.
And we know that when our motivation's low, dopamine's low
nor open efron is low. So to get to boost
(18:20):
those things, we normally have to do things to get
us out of those holes. But that's the catch twenty two,
isn't it. Because the thing that's going to make you
feel good is getting out of it, is going for
a run, is you know, speaking to someone. But those
things in itself can be so challenging because sometimes just
reaching out to someone can feel so hard.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
It's almost more important to do that when you don't
feel like doing it. You also posted something on Instagram
that was really interesting to me and shout out your
Instagram real quick.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Thank you. It's Nicole's neuroscience. So pretty simple.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Nicole's Neuroscience, so much great content there.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
You had posted something about how every decade we lose
like five to ten percent. It makes it harder for
us to be motivated to do things.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, we talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yes, so we lose dopamine.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
We lose about five to ten percent. Now, the caveat
is that we do need to keep moving to keep
that dopamine up. So that's why you know, you hear
about older people that want to exercise and they can't
do it, it's because they don't have that motivation. They
also take less risks. That's one of the reasons why
we motivate dopamineae your motivation. You're a transmitter, not necessarily
the reward neure a transmitter, so making sure that you
(19:24):
stay active, keeping those dopamine levels up is extremely important
and making sure that we're buffering the amount that we're losing,
because we will lose dopamine levels.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Of course, that.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Is just the nature of the aging brain, but it's
how much we can soften the blow if you will.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
You also mentioned how the cells in our body are
constantly regenerating based on the things we put into our body,
and I think that's interesting because there's a lot of
discussion about the food, about things that are going on
inside those foods that we're putting inside our bodies. So
in a perfect world, what are some things that we
would need to keep away from from like putting inside
(20:01):
our bodies.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
So we don't know. Deal with this is bad.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I always say if it has packaging and an advertisement
and you can't if it has packaging it and you
can't get it in its truest form, I would probably
try and limit it. Okay, anything with an advertisement is
probably a no no.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
If it has an.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Advertisement it's in a bag of peas, that's different because
you can get that in its truest form.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
I get asked about oats.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Of course, you can get oats in their truest form,
but normally, if you can't find the product.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
In its truest form, then stay away.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Ultra process foods, ultra process sugar, fizzy drinks not water,
but you know, sodas and stuff like that. I mean,
they have so many added I mean I went by
barbecue sauce the other day because we wanted to make
pulp pork, and ironically I saw the one on the
shelf that was going to look the healthiest, And when
I got home, my boyfriend was like, oh my gosh,
it was like reading out all these things and all
these e numbers and we were like, no way, it
(20:48):
would just put us straight in the bin because it's
not worth it. So if the label has loads of
ingredients in it, I would question that.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Okay, that's good to know and something I've been trying
to adapt in my diet. But I also, you know,
I know how hard that is when we get used
to a certain lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
One hundred percent. And the thing is, there's research to
show that individuals that eat ultra process diets actually consume
five hundred canaries more per day than individuals who don't,
even though both groups report the same levels of satiety
and the same level of enjoyment in their food. So
that is just the neurons in your stomach that have
adapted to pick up these particular foods. That is your
(21:24):
brain telling you that you're craving these foods, but over
time it will stop doing that. And you know, when
you start eating batty studying healthy, you'd actually stop craving
those kinds of foods. And those foods are designed to
do that to you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
So I don't want anyone that's listening to this to
feel bad about themselves because they eat ultra process foods.
That is literally the marketing scheme that they implemented on us.
They knew exactly what they were doing. So it's about
stepping away from that and knowing that those foods are
there to trick you into eating them, and there's nothing
wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That is just how they are designed.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Please remember that everyone. I'm going to remember that. I
need to take that with me every day. One other
thing I want to talk to you about. I also
saw on your Instagram page you had a breakup protocol
by a neuroscientist. Yeah, and I would love for you
to kind of explain that situation that you had posted about,
because you know, we often hear about people getting out
of relationships and breakups are really hard.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
Breakups are really hard. Breakups are so hard, you know,
and they send you into a spiral. I mean you
can get the pressive symptoms feelings of suicide, and that
is because you have been used to having this person
in your life all the time. Okay, so your brain
has rewired itself to be able to reach out for
this person anytime it wanted to to speak to that person.
So on a biological level, your brain has rewired itself
(22:37):
to know that that person is there. When that person
gets cut off, it's extremely difficult for the brain to
comprehend that it will diminish serotonin. There's other dopamine factors
as well, so if all of that can be very confusing,
can be very very painful. Again, the good news is
that the brain can change and actually we adapt from
our experiences. So usually what happens is the second time
(22:59):
around we become one, we either don't open up it
was easy, or we know how to deal with it
better because we've been through it before. Right, So I
think for myself, especially, my second breakup wasn't nearly as
difficult as maybe my first one. My third one was
because that one was a very traumatic one. But anyway,
so different situation. Yeah, exactly so, and that's the other
thing you have to says, you know, how traumatic was
(23:20):
a relationship because trauma bonding in itself is so deeply ingrained.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
You know.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
What happens is you have these periods of you know,
where someone makes you feel rubbish and then that sort
of dips you a little bit, and then the reward
feels so much bigger because now they're nice to you,
they promise they're never going to do it again, and
that reward actually strengthens the synapses even more because there's
more going on in the brain instead of a sort
of steady state relationship. Does that make sense, Yeah, it does,
(23:45):
And I think a lot of people can resonate with
that because it's the real thing and it's really hard
to get out of so rewiring your brain to imagining
your life without that person sort of waking up and
just saying to your brain, hey, this person is not
here anymore, and it sucks, but it's okay, because so
we're going to be okay, we're going to learn from
this and it's going to be all gravy. So that's
where visualization comes in, and it is extremely important because
(24:07):
it does actually work. It does help in teaching us
that that person's not there anymore. Engaging activities are going
to make us happy, so help us rewire our brains.
You know, most people will take up a hobby like gymnastics,
I took up ballet or yoga, or they'll do something
crazy with their hair. That's because they are longing for change.
And I said to you earlier, when we are changing,
we're increasing BD and F. If we can increase B,
D and F, we are priming our brain for change,
(24:29):
which means that we can get over the breakup quicker. Okay,
because our brain is now primed for rewiring.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I love that. I never knew why I suggested it
to people.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I have been through enough breakups in my life that
one of the things I realized is learning something new
at least distracted me from what was going on. I
never realized that it was actually my brain was wanting
me to do that.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Yeah, it's sort of saying like we want B D
and F, we want to rewire. I mean, I don't
know if it's saying that. It's not very scientific for
me to say that, but.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
It totally is.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I'm putting a narration on my brain that well.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Thank you so much again for joining me today talking
with me about all things brain health and just the
brain in general. It's one of those things that I
would love to learn so much more about. I don't
think you can ever get enough knowledge about the brain.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Yes, we'll have to do another one, but thank you
so much for having me. Morganis with in Brilliant.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
If you want to connect with Nicole, purchase her new
book or see more of her work, follow her on
Instagram at Nichole's Neuroscience. Now, I've got Jared Houston on,
(25:42):
who is a personal trainer. Not only is he my
personal trainer, but he has trained artists like Kane Brown, Morgan,
Wallen Diplow, and many others. While he's incredible at this job,
he also has a lot of life experiences and been
on quite the journey to get him where he is today.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
How are you How are you feeling?
Speaker 5 (26:01):
I'm nervous. They didn't get to hear the pep talk before.
What wasn't a pep talk? Yeah, let's do this.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I'm sorry that you're nervous.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I'm like, I haven't been nervous in a long time.
I'm nervous.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I had a neuroscientist on before you and we were
talking about the basics of brain health.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Being a personal trainer.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Why do you feel it's so important for people to
move their bodies and work out often?
Speaker 5 (26:24):
Well, the science you work out, you got endo fins
you release for the brain to relax, and it does.
It puts you in a different state. So it is
the goal is to move at least thirty minutes a day.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
What have you seen with personal training people when they
come into you versus when they leave you?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
What is that experience like?
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Well, it just depends on what type of person there are.
There are different types of people, right, So some people
are just results based. So when you get those people,
those are more like my higher analytical people like I'm
here for this amount of time and they're a little
harder to grow, but at the end of the day
they realize they have gained tools and resources to become better.
So I think they leave me better.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I hope they do. I can attest to that.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
I hope they do.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
So.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Yeah, when they start out, I think everyone has a
goal or something in mind, but it shifts and changes
to where I try to preach or push a lifestyle change.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Have you been trying to do that with me for
over three years?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
Jeez? I know, right, we're.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Working on that, but there's so much more to you
than personal training. That was the easiest question you were
going to have today. You've gone through so much in
your life, and this is why I think it's important
to share your story. At one of those points in
your life, you dealt with homelessness. Can you talk about
that a little bit and what that.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Was like for you?
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Started Marsha twenty fourth, two thousand and seven. I was
doing a lot of bad things and one day I
just decided to stop. Actually, I felt God stopped everything.
A month later, I lost everything, so I didn't have anything.
I was training about twenty two kids from a private school,
so the parents loved me. I was living on couches.
Sometimes I was in my car. I was just all
(27:58):
over the place. I think about it now, how many
people open their doors to me? It was tough. I
don't think anybody ever knew that I was struggling, but yeah,
it was hiding. It was the hardest. So when I
see a kid i'm working with, like, hey man, I'm
living upstairs and you're loft, which was literally like a mansion.
It was a mansion, but I was always uncomfortable because
(28:18):
I didn't want to be in someone else's space. I
didn't want to be overbearing or I just didn't want
to be a nuisance. So I never really felt I
felt like a nomad. And then once I realized that
it might be a while for me to kind of
get on my feet, then I took a job in Vegas,
and then I ended up almost out there too.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
What was the job you took in Vegas?
Speaker 5 (28:37):
I was a strength coach with UNLV. I had a
training company. I was making pretty good money with people,
but I was still struggling back and forth, and I
applied for like sixty something jobs, never got one. And
then one of my fraternity brothers like, hey, man, I
know a guy in Vegas that's coaching at UNLV. And
I called him really good dude, and he was like,
all right, we'll give you a teen wig deal. Promise
me mills and a room and board and all that.
(28:58):
Then when I get there, I spent everything. I just
thought of one way ticket. I got out there. It
was nothing like you said. The meals that I had
were the meals that were left over that I was
with breakfast, sandwich is from the kids. It was the
late night meals from that I was actually staying with
someone for about two weeks who was a real good guy,
and I realized it was putting pressure on him and
his now his wife, and so I told him that
(29:20):
I got a place. And I was sneaking in and
out of the school every single night, and I was
sleeping on a cot in the weight room making sure
I was up and out about four thirty.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
So nobody knew what was that turning point for you?
After that job and you were dealing with it still,
then when was the turning point that you finally could
look at yourself and say I wasn't homeless anymore.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
When I came back, Laura and I had we were married.
She was living in an airbnb. It was like a
hundred square feet. I realized that it was not a
good situation because we're married and we can't even connect
because we have to tire trumble bed together with a
jump rope that I had. So I never really even thought.
I thought that was life is what's going to be.
(30:01):
We just got to make the best of it. But
I didn't really think that until I got my job
in about a year and a half and put a
bid on a house. Well she did, because I didn't
have any type of credit. I couldn't even buy a
piece of bubble go, let alone finance that pack of goal.
But I still never felt complete because it I didn't
wasn't I wasn't a part of it. I was just
(30:23):
in the room. I still had the homeless mindset, so
I was living with a roof over my head. After
that time, everything was in her name, like I was
never truly a man. I still felt homeless. I've never
told anybody that.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Well, I didn't mean to make you share something that
was hard, but I think it's important for people to
hear because who you are today is this incredible person,
and even then you were still probably that, but you
were dealing with so many things that it shows the
journey to where you are now that you're training some
massive celebrities, but you were even working on a football
(30:56):
team and it still wasn't all that pretty.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I look at that life story for you.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Do you look back on it and appreciate what you
went through to get to where you are now, or
is it still something that's really hard for you to
be like I needed to go through that.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
It's still really hard because nobody I talked to the
coach a few weeks ago, and he never knew. I
couldn't tell my wife, she didn't even know. I'm just
in Vegas, floating like I don't know what's going on.
But it was coming back to those kids and serving
those kids and realizing like it was bigger than me.
But it's still hard to deal with because you always
(31:29):
like an investment you want to see, you want to
see ROI sometimes I don't see that return on that
investment that I did. I feel like I short changed
her because she was here working and taking care of
everything and I was there simply struggling. But I was
still trying to find my way. So that's a double
edged sword right there. I'm still struggling with that.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
No, I don't think anything says that you will never
have to not struggle with that. That's the beauty of
understanding our journeys that we've gone on. So I appreciate
you sharing that story with us.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Hopefully some people can connect to that.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
One I do want to also talk about. You are
diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Is that something that has impacted
you throughout that journey and still impacts you today?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
How does that look for you?
Speaker 5 (32:15):
This is the scariest crap I've ever been through in
my life, my whole life. Everybody's saying, thirty nine years,
it's just Jared, I've never really known what the heck
is going on. And finally I was actually with my
writing coach and I was writing some stuff in a
free write and she was like, Jared, you should probably
go talk to somebody. And I was like, no, I'm good.
(32:37):
It's just me, like, I'm just I'm good. I'm good.
And it got to a point to where I couldn't
do anything. I was frozen pretty much. I was frozen.
And when I finally went, they just threw a bunch
of names out. And once you find out you've all
these things attached to you, you literally spiral. It's like bipolar,
manic anxiety depression. You're like, hold on, hold on, hold on.
(33:02):
So you have all these smart people in the room
telling you things hooked up on your head and your fingers,
and they're telling you that you're crazy. They're telling you
have an illness. What the heck do you mean? Nobody
saw it for thirty eight years, nothing wrong with me.
You sit in those words and you start you do
everybody's a everybody's a Google scientist. Everybody's a Google doctor.
You start, you start researching, and you start seeing how
(33:25):
bad it is, and then you just start to see
the traits. You start to see those things that show up,
and you start to remember the reactions you had. You
start to see those man expells, You start to see
those times where you want to kill yourself and you
don't know why, but I'm happy. It starts to make sense.
Then you start to acknowledge that there's an illness. And
when you acknowledge it, there's an illness that is a
(33:47):
tough situation. No matter how celebritized it is in the world.
It's great when Michael Phelps says it, it's great when
the NFL got with CT says it. But when you're
just a normal person trying to make ends meet and
you're trying to do the right things, then you're just
an omal person. That's crazy, and that's what it feels like.
So when they try to pump you with all these
mans or cocktail as they say, I ain't even take
a talent all. When I got out of my surgery
(34:08):
from my shoulder, or when I had my leg done,
I literally wouldn't even when I was sitting in the hospital,
I wouldn't even hit the morphine pump. I was like,
I'm gonna wait, I'm not gonna do this. And when
you're from I'm from a small roal area, pills kilt.
The majority of the people that I grew up with,
the people that I grew up with, look sixty five
years old because of pills. So you're telling me that
(34:30):
you want to I'm running from this, that I'm in shape,
that I'm athletic, and then you're telling me that you
want to put me on a cocktail. So I'm normal.
Screw you. I am normal. It's a little different. I'm
still dealing with it on a day to day basis
because I don't know, and it's nothing you can control.
And like I said, you have a bunch of smart
people that go to school for this to tell you.
Don't patronize me, don't tell me how you how I feel.
(34:51):
You don't know, you don't know.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
You mentioned growing up in a small town too. I
would imagine growing and the way that you did that. Also,
mental health. Talking about those things was not an open
conversation and not something that was really recognized.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Absolutely especially in black people, people of color. It's a stigma.
It's just like you go through things, you get over it.
Ask any of my teachers about me. Jared was the
smartest in the class, but he was a troublemaker. He
was up and down, he was all over the place.
We couldn't control him. I was the outstanding student in
second grade. You know what that meant. I was outstanding
in the hall every single day. She said, you're nominated
(35:30):
to be outstanding student. And I still make good grades.
But they couldn't understand what was going on. But now
when you look back on it hindsight, like this kid
was struggling with an illness that no one said, and
the only thing they wanted to pump me with was
ADHD medicine. And my mom was like, absolutely not. This
whole time, I'm dealing with these things passed from all
(35:51):
these traumas, even at a young age, and then you're
still trying to add up and really understand what's going
on mentally.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
Do you believe if you had known about this illness
earlier on in your life it would have helped you
in ways or do you think it would have been worse?
Speaker 5 (36:07):
It would absolutely help me, And that's why it's so
hard to not be resentful of those people that say
Jared was just a bad kid, or Jared just lashed out,
or it's just Jared, or he can't control his emotions,
instead of someone saying and taking the time, we should
do this, because in education, they have those at hand.
They have school psychologists, they have people that can recommend
you with you know what I'm saying. That's why our
(36:29):
parents worked nine to five jobs and had insurances so
people can recommend. I think that's the problem is the
lack of empathy. I think people are so willing to label.
That's been hard for me over the last year and
a half. I forgive myself, but forgive those that just
labeled me instead of trying to figure out what was wrong.
But it also makes you look at a different light
(36:49):
of other people because you're like, dang, it's something wrong,
or can I do something different?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
You're looking back at a lot of really hard moments
in your life. What has been the thing to keep
you going through all of this despite everything you've faced?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
My family literally serving others when I don't feel like
doing something, when I don't feel like getting out of
the bed, I call the ziplock bag analogy ites like
ziplock bag. The harder you breathe, the more fogs up,
the more it closes in on you. That's how I
kind of describe sometimes how I feel in the mornings.
But then when I get up and Alani runs in
and it was like, Daddy, I slept good. Or also comes
(37:23):
in with his any type of weapon that he's any
type of toy that he's turned into a weapon and
he's like, Dad, this is my shooter gun. It's like that,
or Laura saying, hey, Jared, can you do this for me?
And being able to do that and kind of put
it step outside of myself then it kind of it helps,
but also trying not to stay busy because I still
have to sit in it. I still have to sit
(37:45):
in that pain to really understand what it is, because
it is it's hard to control, to understand those triggers
because there are so many. You don't realize there are triggers,
because that's why you will ash out knack certain the
way you do, because when you internalize those triggers, that's
what what emotions are. Emotions are valid, they're just not true.
So whatever I'm internalizing doesn't mean it's reality or real.
(38:07):
If I can't process it or get it out, then
it comes out later in a negative way. That's the struggle.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
At thirty nine, you talk about your family. How does
it feel at this point in your life? Despite learning
what you've learned in the last year and a half,
you have accomplished all of these things, and you have
this beautiful family in a really great life, and you
do have your name on a house and some really
cool accomplishments. After all of that, you look back at
(38:34):
your life, How does that feel now?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Did you ever think that was going to happen?
Speaker 5 (38:38):
Absolutely not. I thought I would be by myself. I
thought I'd be angry. I thought I'd end up like
my grandfather down by myself. I mean, every morning I
wake up, I literally say God, like I don't deserve this.
People don't know the journey man, they don't know the journey.
But it's cool. It's scary, but it's cool because I
can now, I can be more aware from my kids
(38:58):
if I see some things in them, because I'm going
to be quick on it. That's why I'm always asking
my oldest I'm asking them how they feel or because
at a young age, you're kind of spoke to or
spoken at. You're not really relevant as a child, and
so I try to give them that voice, even at
three and four and thirteen, I try to give them
that voice because kids are still innocent, so they're going
(39:20):
to tell you from an innocent standpoint. It's going to
be real. It's brutal, but it's going to be real
instead of someone like me that has been around people
that have kind of created you to become jaded. It's crazy.
Morgan got me over here, thanking girl.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I want to.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Applaud you because you took everything that happened in your
life and just talking about your family there, you're doing
things to ensure an even better life for them. A
lot of people could take what has happened to them
and continue that cycle.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
You're trying to break that cycle.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
And that's why I love having you as part of
my life, because you're someone who's always showing up.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You're trying to show up, you know.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I want to ask you, if there's other people out
there going through any of these things that you've experienced,
what advice would you give to them?
Speaker 5 (40:00):
To tell somebody? And it was easier to tell somebody
that I didn't know, because they're going to try to
give you a solution. Even my wife, she tried to
give me a solution. I just needed a soundboard. I
just needed someone to say, Hey, there are eight hundred
numbers that you can call. There are so many free
platforms that you can use to talk to someone. Now,
I would also say, if you talk to someone and
(40:21):
they're just trying to give you solutions, don't get frustrated,
because it's just like you meet a doctor. Not the
first doctor is gonna They might not say the right things,
do the right things. I want to be challenged and
because these it will never go away. But I'm looking
for things to create tools for me to combat those
so that I understand when it's coming, so that I
(40:42):
know that this cycle is coming, or that this manic
episode is I can sometimes feel it, but then when
it's hits me and I have an anxiety attack of
how to control that. And I think that's the great
part about some of the things in the world. You
can do. But the hardest thing to do is to
make that phone call. Legit the hardest thing I've ever
done besides right this book, was to make that phone
(41:04):
call well.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
I appreciate you sharing that and the pieces of advice
not only your journey, but to help others, hopefully who
are struggling in the similar situations. Thank you for sharing
all of it.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Sorry that I made.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
You get a little bit, but I got you know,
I zoned in, jeered, I got sup knuckles, stars weg
But I'm.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Glad you have a very special voice and one I
wanted people to hear.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
So thank you again for joining me and.
Speaker 5 (41:28):
Thank you for having me Morgan.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Jared has a new book called Nothing Concealed, talking about
his childhood from a child's point of view. It's his
heavy that he's turned into a support for himself and
he helps it helps others. You can follow him on
social media for his personal training work and the rest
of the things he's doing at Jared Underscore Houston. Thank
you so much for hanging out with myself, Nicole and
(41:50):
Jared today. If you have any advice you want answered
by me or the experts, or just want to leave
a message, you can email Take This Personally podcast at
gmail dot com and be sure to follow me at
web Girl Morgan and.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
The podcast Instagram page. Take This Personally.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Next week, I will have on two incredible athletes, five
time Olympic gold medalist and multiple world record holder in
the sport.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Of swimming, Missy Franklin.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
She's going to talk about the time she hit rock
bottom and dealing with her mental health before Olympic trials.
Then CrossFit athlete Amy Bream stops by. She was born
with one leg and continues to break the barriers while
chasing her goals as an adaptive athlete. Until then, I
love each and every one of you.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Have a great week. Bye.