August 26, 2024 • 37 mins
HI FRIENDS! Morgan brings on writer, speaker, and thought leader Kristina Licare. She helps people become a conscious creator of their lives by unlocking their potential and stepping into their highest selves. The conversation provokes Morgan to share a personal journal entry in audio form. Morgan shares her messiest thoughts and feelings as she continues to navigate heartache and hard relationships.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally with Morgan Juelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, y'all welcome to take this personally. Morgan here. This
week I got to dive into some serious self care
work with expert Christina Lacarri. I brought her on so
she could share another resource for those who are looking
for ways to elevate their lives. Some people do therapy,
some like manifesting and affirmations. Christina likes to help people
expand their self awareness and align their energy so that
(00:41):
they can lead their most fulfilling lives. Her work is
applied to all areas of somebody's life, and reading about
her online, I thought it would be a super thought
provoking conversation and it really was. So here we go,
and I'm here right now with Christina La Carrie, Christina,
(01:03):
how are you?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh, I'm so good? And I love hearing that. I'm like,
that's a really beautiful way of explaining it and putting
it and like if I like that, well.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's awesome what you were doing to help people. And
I just want to hear all the things so it
can help some more people out there. So I want
to know what does it mean to create or reach
the highest, most powerful self?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So for me, it's less of like a mental concept.
I think it can kind of sound like it's unattainable
if you think it's somewhere to get to. And really
what I'm talking about when I say that is being
in the present moment, like being aware of your conditioned
thoughts and your reactive emotions that you know have been
programmed within you in your childhood and traumatic events, to
really choose and decide how you want to feel and
(01:46):
who you want to be, how you want to respond
in this moment instead of just being like a bundle
of reflexes. So I think it's really less about trying
to get to this version of yourself and realizing that
this version of yourself is the natural you underneath all
of the distortions and delusions and all of the thoughts
and things that cover it up.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And if somebody were to try and take their first
step into getting to that place for themselves, like you
just mentioned, kind of the underneath or lack of another term,
peeling back all the layers and revealing our true personality
in a way, how would somebody take that first step
to doing that.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know, it's like my logical brain wants to be
like you have to look at your mind. You have
to listen to the thoughts in your mind and get
aware and become aware of the looping thoughts and the
way that you're programming has been conditioned. But the other
part of me is like, I feel like you really
need to start with noticing that you feel awful in
certain areas, or you feel stuck, or you don't feel good,
(02:44):
or you feel frustrated, or you feel sad, or you
keep hitting the same walls or the same experiences, because
then it's like, what's going on? And then we start
looking at the thoughts, and then we start looking at
the cyclical emotional experiences and then looking at the physical
manifestations that reflect that. But I feel like if you
just go straight to the thoughts, you're not really honoring, like, hey,
(03:05):
I feel disconnected from myself. I feel like there's something
off here because you're just trying to be like, Okay,
what's happening in my mind? So I think they do
go together. But I'd say paying attention to how you
feel and noticing most of the time when you don't
feel clean and clear and good, it's not because of
what's happening, it's because of your perception of it and
how you're feeling about things. So I'd say the feelings
(03:26):
to start first, for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Oh and that's super hard because getting in touch with
our feelings is a very vulnerable place to be. I
do know that you were talking about on your social media,
and I think this kind of correlates to what you're
talking about here. Is if you want to accomplish all
these big dreams you have and make the big changes
in your life, you truly have to believe that you
are capable of doing that. Otherwise you're just going to
(03:50):
make it really hard for yourself. Does that kind of
connect to what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, Yeah, definitely. I mean that's a huge part of it.
You for sure can't expect to build big buls, beautiful
things and then not believe it's going to work like that.
That doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yes, you know, I'm my own worst critic, and I
think a lot of people can feel that way. And
I know I'm capable of really great things, But to
constantly be hit with failure or to see other people
succeed and you just don't think it's ever going to
happen to you. How do you make sure not to
allow yourself to kind of keep getting dragged down by
(04:25):
chasing a dream because it's really hard. It's a hard
road and doing this and me talking to you about this,
you're not saying those things aren't going to happen, but
how can we make sure that we're getting through those
negative and hard things that happen.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
There's two pieces that I feel like I said this
for my last answer, there's two pieces. There's two pieces,
but that's just what's happening. There are two pieces for this.
One is like, you have to decide that whatever you're
going to do is going to work, because why would
you put any other energy into what you're doing. And
if you decide that it's going to work, you're going
to see everything as evidence that it's working. And if
you haven't decided it's going to work, you're gonna see
(04:59):
it is evidence that it's not working yet. So I
think that choice is so important. It's just a decision.
That's where I'm going, that's the path I'm walking down.
This is what I'm doing with my life versus this
whole like, ah, is it gonna happen? Like it's in
the universe's hands, Like no, it's in your hands, like
you co create with the universe, but the universe is like,
what do you want? Yeah, you can have that, So
(05:20):
I think that's super important. And the second piece is
the emotional intelligence to realize these thoughts, these emotions, these
self sabotaging patterns, like whatever it is, that's your emotional trauma,
that's the past within you that needs to be looked at,
that needs to be dealt with, that needs to be felt, honored,
process released, so you can show up as your highest
self in the moment instead of carrying around these old
(05:43):
energetics from what you're seeing every single moment, which is
a new moment unless you have that energy in your
system all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah wow, And it sounds like it's a really cool
place to get to once you can let go and
move forward from those things. I do think a lot
of people out there I want to ensure that they're
living their best life.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
We see that on social media.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm living my best life, and I think everybody genuinely
wants to have that, And I think a way in
doing that is really becoming the conscious creator of your life.
And you speak a lot about this, how and what
would that look like for someone to truly be a
conscious creator.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So I think it's like what I was saying before
that you have to start noticing, like what have you
created up until this point. So for me, I started
realizing this with relationships where it was like, hmm, the
past three men in a row were all blonde haired,
blue eyed surfers who were in love with their ex
girlfriend who I reminded them of, and kind of looked
like there was something that was like, Okay, this isn't
(06:41):
just a coincidence, Like there was like an energetic creation
happening here. So I had to start looking at, like,
what are these guys have in common? Why was I
chasing these people who wanted nothing to do with me
and were not available. It's like having that awareness of
I guess I'm emotionally unavailable if I'm attracted to people
who don't want to be in relationship, and that was like,
why looking at what am I creating? To really own
(07:05):
that responsibility and start to kind of like not look
at necessarily all the things that happened in the past,
but the past that's still alive within you now that's
creating this moment and really being able to look at
I'm not creating the things that I want to create.
What am I creating? Why? That to me is really
where you start, and then it kind of just like
opens up the path from there.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And as we keep talking about this, I hear a
lot of things from you that almost sound a little
bit like therapy in a way. Do you feel like
becoming the highest version of yourself in therapy?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Do collide in some senses or how are they different.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I've never been to therapy to say for sure, but
I think from my perspective, what's a little different is
therapy to me seems more like it's like talking about
all of this stuff, and what I'm talking about is
really honoring those things that have stayed in our mind,
body and energetic field and that have created these actions
and programs and like where we're on this same loop,
(08:02):
but then dissolving it, realizing it's a delusion, it's not
actually true, realer happening in the moment. We're just on
an old pattern and breaking apart the energetics as that
pattern plays out in the moment, so you can operate
from presence instead of whatever life has conditioned you to be.
So I think, like with my clients and in my programs.
We're not really talking about the stuff as it is.
(08:24):
We're becoming aware that the stuff exists and noticing when
it crops up to expand beyond it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That's super interesting too, because that wasn't a planned question
at all. I was just listening to you talk about
that because I think it's important to realize there are
resources out there across the board that look different for everyone,
and this type of resource could be very valuable to someone,
just as therapy could be valuable to someone else.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
So it's cool to see.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
The differences in them and also the potential if you
do both, to see where your life could come from
and out of that.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Thank you for explaining.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and you know, I think too, it's like just
knowing where you're at. Like the work that I live
sh and teach can be super offensive and triggering to
someone who's like deeply identified with their ego and their
mind and their pain and their trauma. But for the
people who are like, oh my god, I'm dying to
get out of and stuck in these cycles. I don't
care about what happened in nineteen ninety five, but like
it's still repeating when they find this work they're like, ah,
(09:17):
but if you're still in it, it's like, my pain
is real, it did hurt. You don't know you know
there's a and I get it having been in that side.
So I think it's really like honoring where you're at
now and what you need now. Instead of thinking this
is the way or that's the way. It's like, what's
your experience and what are you looking for? Because I
have had people who have come into my containers who
(09:38):
are deeply in trauma, and I've been like, this isn't
a match for this work. This is going to feel
really far away from you and might even potentially re
traumatize you because it's such a big jump from being
like I'm in this thing that's really painful to like, hey,
that thing's not actually real. You're just tripping balls in
your head right now, and it's like it is real,
(09:58):
like it can create more of that wound. So I
think that self awareness on where you're at and what
you're interested in. Some people might never be interested in
this work ever in their lifetime, and that's okay too,
But for the people who it's for, they're like, oh
my god, where have you been my whole life?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
No, it's very powerful what you're doing. And like I said,
I think it's giving a resource to people to see
things in a different way, and that's really important. Yeah,
in that same kind of vein just talking about the
illusion of limits and fears that we have. Why do
those things even exist? And are they helping us or
are they hurting us?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I mean, I think it's really just like old unresolved
emotional energetics and things in the body, And it's just
the mind's natural way of how it processes to live
to protect itself, right, So it's just like everything is
a threat, constantly scanning for like impending doom and danger.
And I just realized that when I really started cracking
open into wealth success, all that stuff came like rushing forward.
(11:00):
I never had it before. I mean it was there,
but it didn't show up like working in TV or
any of that stuff for ten plus years. But as
soon as I started my business and things started blowing up,
it was like, what if you lose everything? What if
you've become homeless? And I was like, is not the
biggest day in your business ever? Why is that where
the mind goes? But it's like I also grew up
with a lot of financial trauma. I also grew up
(11:21):
feeling like I couldn't really count on money, so it's
like I didn't know how to deal with those emotions
and that energy, and then money started coming in and
my system was like whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't feel
safe with money. What's happening here? So I think it's
kind of that journey of understanding that's the past within you.
Here's the opportunity to integrate it through these experiences, so
(11:42):
it can be something that you can kind of like, oh,
there's my human doing the thing, like I, ah, okay,
I get it. I'm still going to do the thing.
Because if we don't see it as like a separate,
tangible object, it feels so real. It's like what if
it doesn't work? What if no one? But what if
I lose? What if I fail? And it's like, oh
my god, you're just laying in bed breathing. You're not
going to take action because you have the thought what
(12:03):
if I fail? It feels so real in your body,
but it doesn't just sound like a thought. It's like
I can't actually move. So I think being able to
see it for what it is, and to allow it
to be there without letting it lead is really like
the sweet spot.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And hearing that too, just knowing that fears can really
debilitate us from chasing things that we want to pursue.
That's also something that's been so.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Prevalent, so so prevalent.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yes, Yeah, And I know there's got to be people
out there that are listening to us talk about this
and they're struggling to feel good in the place that
they're at right now. They're sitting at home and they
just feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Nothing's going to get better. What can they do in
this moment to just take a step forward to the
(12:50):
life that they've wanted and get out of that space
of I am not doing well.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I think for me, it's like honoring and realizing that
that's just a thought that you're choosing to buy into.
Because I worked in TV and film for eleven years
before I took my business full time, and I knew
since two thousand and three when the OC came on
and I was like, I'm going to write and produce
my own TV shows and my whole life, people are like, no,
you won't get a job in LA and I was like,
(13:16):
I got a job when I'm there, and they're like, well,
you won't get another one. I was like, I got
another one. Well, you'll never stayed consistent.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I'm like, I keep working in TV, you'll never be
a producer by the time you're thirty.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, I'm a producer. And the thing is, my
path happened so differently than how people said it would.
Like they'd be like, you have to work in a
writer's room. I'm like, I never worked in a writer's room.
They're like, you've never had a full time job. I'm like,
I never write a full time job. I don't know,
but they keep going. And from that awareness, I realized
I just was synced into the inevitability, like I'm gonna
have my own show. It's just a done deal, Like
(13:45):
I feel it in my soul. Everything was just evidence.
Like I'd be like, Whoh, I got a job at
Warner Brothers. It's working.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Ooh, I got a job at AHBL. It's happening. I
didn't go into the yeah, but it's not full time. Yeah,
but it's not in a writer's room. I just saw
the enneric breadcrumbs is building so that there was no
need to pretend that it wasn't working. So it's like
I could have gone into the story every single time
of I'm only making eleven dollars an hour. I'm just
an assistant. I haven't gotten the full time job. I'm
(14:13):
nowhere near this, i haven't ever sold the script. I
haven't even had a meeting. But it was like my
energy was so connected to the forecast that it was
just like.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Riding into it. But in my business it wasn't always
that way. I had a lot of ups and downs
based on my perception because I didn't decide it was
just going to work. So what I'm saying is, you
decide where you are right now. It doesn't mean anything.
It's just part of the path to where you're going.
But if you haven't decided that you're going there, everything's
going to feel like shit if it doesn't look exactly
(14:41):
how your ego thinks that it should.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, gosh, I mean between talking about my ego and
the energetic breadcrumbs, yes yes to all of it, and
hearing you say some of this also kind of reminds
me a little bit of vision boards and manifestation. Do
you feel like that's part of this journey at all,
or is that something totally different?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I mean, like I don't personally vibe with vision boards
and affirmations and stuff, but like my work is largely
rooted in conscious creation for sure. I think it's just
so much cleaner to me that It's like the physical
world is a mirror, that's it. So you want to
expand in the physical you have to elevate, evolve, and
expand to a level of consciousness where the physical world
meets you there. You want healthy, intimate, high level love,
(15:22):
You've got to be at the level of consciousness to
have it. You want to have your business blow up?
Like who are you being? Life's responding to who you're being.
So to me, I don't try to manifest things. They
just happen and show up and come to me because
of my awareness and level of consciousness and energy that
I'm putting into what I'm doing. So it's like there's
no resistance. They're just pure flow and inspiration. Oh I
(15:45):
want to do this? Who I want to do that?
Oohpay and full client. It's just this effortlessness that comes
from who you're being in the present moment where I
feel like, those things aren't really necessary from my perspective,
because it's just like you don't have to ask for
what you want. It just shows up on a silver
plat when you're in the energy of everything is here
now instead of something is missing. That's just how it
(16:06):
kind of feels to me.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, no, and that's definitely an interesting perspective too, to
think of the present moment. So do you feel like
it's more achievable to be the highest self when you
are really focusing on the present rather than past future?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Oh? Yeah. The heart and soul of my work is
all about the present moment. There is no pass in future.
Those are mental concepts. So it's like when you step
out of your mind and just live here and now, like, oh,
here's a thought, Oh, come back to my body. There's
another thought, Oh, come back to my body. This is
the place where it's like you just know where to go,
you know where to turn, you know what to sell,
what to launch, what to do, when to go to
(16:42):
the farmer's market, when to shave your legs, and it
all adds up to bring you to this place where
you're like, I guess it was happening the whole time
and I just decided to move with it. So, yeah,
I feel like the past and the future are really
intricately related to the mind, because the future is just
a projected image of the percip past. So it's like
that's when we're recreating the same things. The future is now, now, now, now,
(17:06):
it doesn't actually exist. So it's like, unless we're living
in this now, we don't have access to infinite potentiality,
we don't have access to higher vibrations. We just have
access to what we've always known and what we've already
created and experienced.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Gosh, that's super powerful because I know that living in
the present is a very hard and difficult thing, but
you're talking about a whole other level of that and
then the present and existing and genuinely operating in the present.
But I think that's so important as well.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yeah, I mean it's really healing. I think that was
the whole thing I realized once I started stepping out
of my thoughts to be like, oh my gosh, the
reason I was anxious and depressed was because I was
believing all these thoughts about all these things. And you know,
so when I started using my day as a moving
meditation instead of thinking things, just like letting them move through.
(17:55):
It was like, Oh, that's not even me who feels
that way. I don't feel like that person shouldn't have
said that on the internet. That's just my mind. Like,
thank god, there gets to be that space that allows
you to actually live in peace instead of just experiencing
little pockets when you manipulate everything that's happening in the
physical to be like, ah, now I can feel good,
which just not feel good.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
No, But you've inspired me.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
You seem so content and just really here in this moment,
and I love to feel that energy from you. And
now I want that energy for myself, which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
You can have it.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
It's yours talking about your life too.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I noticed in seeing all your work you talk about
throwing out the rule book and just kind of paving
your own path and just setting that into motion, and
that mindset for you is what really changed the game.
And I just kind of want you to share that
a little bit with me before you go.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah. I feel like I was specifically talking about like
building a business, but it can apply to anything. My
business started not even meaning for it to actually be
a business. Like I was working at Apple and their
marketing campaigns and they didn't have any for us to do,
so people would just doodle on their iPads and read
books I'm going to do all day. So I just
started in an Instagram and started sharing things and it
(19:09):
just blew up the account. The following I just started,
people were like, can I work with you? And I
was like, yeah, sure, and then it just kept happening.
And what I realized on my journey has quantum leaped
very quickly was how many people wanted to make up
all of these crazy, ridiculous rules. Started. I was talking
about relationships and I remember marketing coach had said, you
need to put what kind of relationships on your bio?
(19:32):
And I was like, are you talking about what other
kind of relationships are there? And no one's going to
be like does she need a relationships with cheeseburgers? Like
I'm so confused, or they'd say, you know, the best
day to launch is on a Tuesday. You need to
create this kind of content, and I just was like,
this is ridiculous. I don't know who made up all
these silly ideas, but my energy was just so purely
into sharing my soul's work with the world and seeing
(19:54):
the results that I was created where I was like,
I just didn't listen to anyone's rules and I did
it following those energetic like what if I posted this, ooh,
what if I said that? And just seeing how it
kept building from that momentum just really inspired me to
like announce to the world that it's like, you don't
have to do things the way other people say you
do unless that lights you up and turns you on
(20:15):
where you're like, I love that idea, but most people
are not connected to themselves to feel that. They're just like, oh,
this person smart, Oh, this person successful. Oh, they said
I should do it this way, and okay, but what
does your soul say? Because my soul would rather gouge
my own eyes out with a hot spoon than sit
on a sales call. Never literally never, you want to
work with me, here's how it works. You come to
my inbox and you pay me. There's no back and forth,
(20:37):
there's no let's like talk about all your pain points.
It's like you feel it, you're ready, here's the link.
But people train you. You've got to get on a sales
call and you got to pitch them this thing, and
you've got to say yes seven times, so they subconsciously
want to say yes, and at the end of the
call it's a real thing, then they'll want to say
yes to you. And I'm like, I hate that I'm
not doing any of that. So it's like being able
(20:58):
to realize that you get to do, whether it's your
business or anything that you're creating in the physical world,
the exact way, like the literal, exact way that you
want to do it. It's the only way it's gonna
work for you because it's the only way you're gonna
do it, like fully and completely, and that is the
path that the universe is like, hey, sparkly, door number seven,
come this way, this is your door. And you're like
(21:19):
this famous person said I should do this, and door
number Seven's like okay, well, good luck. You're going to
be miserable, unhappy, and it's not gonna feel natural like
my business feels natural. I don't feel like I'm trying.
I feel like I'm just ooh, I'm going to send
an email. Oh I want to share this, and things
are just growing around me. And that's the way that
co creation is meant to feel really effortless and connected.
(21:40):
When you live in the moment and you follow your
desires and your inspiration instead of being an overly masculine
energy trying to force, hustle, pressure, create, make something happen
that already is happening.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yes, And you know, being a digital director outside of
this podcast, the thing that I've seen the most on
social media chain is that we want to see genuine
content from people.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
And it goes to show what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
If you're not connected in the soul, you're not going
to be creating genuine content because it's going to feel disingenuous.
You're not going to be the version of yourself that
is actually who you are behind the screen. And so
it just goes to show that what you're talking about
is one hundred percent true because we're just in that
place where we want realness from people. We want genuine,
we want authentic, and we want honest conversations, and that
(22:29):
just perfectly aligns with everything you're saying.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, I agree, And it's like, especially when it comes
to things on the internet, it's just like you don't
need to like force anything, you don't need to convince
me of anything. I feel your energy or I don't.
It's really simple so I think when you lead with
your energy for yourself and whatever you're building, it just
makes everything cleaner. Like people were vibrational beings, we feel things.
(22:53):
So it's like, if what you're putting out is in
alignment with who you really are. People come to me
all the time and they're like, I literally don't know
what you're selling, but I want to buy. I just
feel this resonance with you, and I'm like, perfect, you
know that this is for you on a deep level.
That's so much more than anything I could say on
some story slides, you know what I mean. So it's like, yeah,
your authenticity is powerful and magnetic, but it's also the
(23:15):
thing that builds your version of whatever it is that
you're here to build.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Absolutely well, Christina, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You just shared so much wisdom and exciting things that
now I'm really going to be paying attention for energetic breadcrumbs,
So thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You're welcome one of my favorite things.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, so thank you again just for joining and being here.
It was really awesome to get to talk with you.
You too. If you want to connect with Christina on
social media, her open Up podcast, or work with her
to evolve and expand your life. You can check out
Christina Lacarri dot com. Her last name is spelled l
I c a r E. Listening to Christina talk on
(23:59):
this episode was very enlightening and also an interesting experience
because of the current state of my life. So I
decided to do an audio journal entry with you all.
You're gonna hear my messiest thoughts as I try to
process all the things that life is thrown at me,
particularly when it comes to love and relationships. So here
(24:20):
it is my audio journal entry, Take one. You know,
love is a big part of your life, and she's
sitting here discussing with me about self awareness and trying
to align with certain goals so that you can have
this max highest self and I want that. I think
anybody listening to Christina would want that for themselves and
(24:42):
wants to accomplish that goal and be at that place
in their life where they are just achieving all of
the things because they're on such a high level of
self awareness and living in the moment that they're accomplishing.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Any and everything that they want to.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And so in this interview, I'm having envy hearing her
share or her story where she was at to where
she is now, how she got to this energy journey,
and I think it's really interesting for me to listen
to when I am sitting here doing everything I can
to not be in a fight or flight situation. I'm
going to break this down a little bit, and the
(25:18):
societal standards for what a woman should be are marriage
and kids, in the whole nine yards of this perfect life.
And don't get me wrong, I have grown up in
this society and I know exactly how I feel about
it and that I don't care that I'm not on
a certain timeline and I don't allow those pressures to
get to me. But it's still a hard pill to swallow.
(25:39):
It's still hard to sit around and see many of
your friends married, having their first kids, some their second kid,
moving in with someone, buying a house, having all of
these life accomplishments happen when you're the one that's having
a bunch of success happened, But in personal.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Areas it's not.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Because I can confidently say that my professional life has
been going so well. It's been expanding, I've been learning things,
I've been growing, doing new projects, having awesome accomplishments, and
I love that and I love to look at that
part of my life and be so excited for myself
because it's hard to do. But it's a hard pill
to swallow when I don't have someone to share that with,
(26:18):
and when I have to realize that at twenty eight
and twenty nine and now thirty, I fell in and
out of love again. I'm not mad at myself and
I'm not angry with what happened, and I would not
want to settle just for a perspective, but I'm not
going to lie to myself and say that it doesn't
hurt and it doesn't suck, and I hate being single.
(26:39):
While Christina and I were talking, she was sharing how
it's important to do a lot of self reflection and
awareness work of things going on in your life and
the experiences that you've had to be able to truly
get to your highest self. And what's super frustrating for
me is that after my relationship, the one that was
(27:00):
probably the worst one that I'd faced in my life, emotionally, physically, abusive,
all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
The list goes on, But.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
For three years after that relationship, I spent that entire
time focusing on who I was, my growth, my self awareness,
figuring out any mistakes I was making, making.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Sure to learn and unlearned.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I spent three years doing that that I was so
confident that after that three year journey, that the next
person I was going to date was going to be
my partner for life.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I'd put so much effort.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
So much work into becoming the best version of myself
that there wasn't possibly a world where I couldn't meet
my next partner and it be the best situation for
me and my partner for life. And so that's why
I go back to my disappointment of failure, which is
also colliding with my inability to settle, just because of
(27:53):
a perspective I had. This is a wish I wanted,
This is something that I wanted to accomplish. This is
what I believed in my heart, myself, soul, my gut
was going to happen because I put so much time
and energy into focusing on myself.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And I wouldn't take that back.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Regardless of everything that's happened in the last year in
my latest relationship, I would not take that time of
three years that I spent working on myself. I would
do that over again in a heartbeat, because it needed
to happen, regardless of the before and after events of it.
Spending that time with myself, dating myself, learning about myself,
(28:29):
and exploring patterns that I had had was essential for
me to become who I am today. After those three
years of focusing on myself, I stepped up. I made
sure I did not make the same mistakes again, which
is also why it's so frustrating to have spent so
much energy and lessons on yourself to then fail again.
(28:51):
This is a part of life. You try something, you fail,
you get back up again. Psychle repeats, and just as
important as success is, failure is as well.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I know this, I know all of these things.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's in my brain, It's seered into my skull of knowledge.
But it doesn't make it any less hard, and it
doesn't make it any less disappointing for myself. I want
to be this person who can accomplish the highest self.
I want to be the person who can find this
unicorn partner that I've been wanting to have for years.
(29:23):
I want to accomplish every dream that I've set out
to do, and in all fairness, in one area of
my life, I have truly done that. Working on The
Bobby Bone Show was a dream job for me, and
the fact that I've accomplished that and stayed in that
is the highest self, a part of me that is
the highest self.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I want all of me to be at the
highest self.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
In talking with Christina, and it's frustrating to me that
I've put so much time, so much effort into that
and i still haven't made it happen. And I'm saying
all of this not to get sympathy, not for anyone
to reach out and say you got this or do this.
I'm saying this because the journey to getting there, to
becoming this highest self, this person that Christina is talking about,
(30:08):
is so hard, and there's so many highs and lows
that you were going to go through with other people
and with yourself. I'm currently on a low part of mine.
I'm doing really well. I'm happy, I'm not upset. I'm
just frustrated. I'm angry. It's not with myself, it's not
with him, It's with the sequence of events that have happened.
(30:30):
The first thing I do after a traumatic event in
my life is schedule a therapy session. I don't go
to therapy regularly. I really don't need it regularly. I
typically need it when I get triggered or when a
situation happens, and that's what I did. I reached out
to her after this, and one of the first things
I told her is that I was tired of learning lessons.
(30:52):
I'm basically a professor in certain areas of the dating
and love world, and I'm done learning lessons. I'm done
teaching lessons. I'm done any thing. I just want to love.
I just want to be in love and be loved.
And I'm tired not of putting myself out there, not
of being vulnerable, not of getting hurt. I'm tired that
I keep having to learn lessons.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
And one of the funniest.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Things to me is people will always say, be patient.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Your person is out there, be patient, this is gonna happen.
I don't think people.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Realize how hard patience is when you really want something
or when you've really been burned by something. Patience is
not something that can be taught. Unfortunately, it has to
be learned and experienced in very crappy situations to truly
understand the importance of patience.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And right now I don't want to learn any more lessons.
I don't want to have patience.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I'm tired, and it's really complicated for me to understand
how there are aspects of my life that are going
so well and flourishing and others are on the complete
other spectrum. But this time, what's different about this time
than the breakup that happened my relationship Prior that time,
I was destroyed, devastated. I had to rebuild every part
(32:07):
of my being. I had to relearn so many things.
But after this relationship ended, I didn't. And maybe that's
where the growth lies. Maybe that's where my self awareness
comes in. And maybe I learned so much in the
three years of being single that it benefited me greatly
for the ending of this one where I didn't feel
lost without him.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I didn't need him.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
I didn't lose my friends, I didn't lose people in
my life that I love. I kept up with my relationships,
I kept up with my priorities and the things that
matter to me. I did not let that relationship be
my only being. I had a life outside of him
for myself. And maybe that was the lesson I was
supposed to learn in this Maybe that's a lesson we
all need to learn in things is that you were
(32:48):
always supposed to be the priority. You were always supposed
to have your own life, your own things, your own establishments,
your own goals, your own dreams, and somebody's just supposed
to come in and be a partner.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You know, I'm sitting here talking to you guys about this,
and I genuinely don't know if that's the lesson I
was supposed to take from this. I don't know if
the lesson that I was supposed to take from this
is ever gonna come up in my life or if
I'm going to be ninety years old sitting and saying,
oh wow, that was the lesson. It's particularly interesting to
me too, because I have learned that my personality type,
which some would call an impath, is directly targeted by
(33:24):
a certain group of people, which is what you have
probably commonly seen online as a narcissist. That's frustrating for
me too.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I don't understand why people can attract themselves to a
lighter force and want to destroy that lighter force. I
can't possibly comprehend that either.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
It's also another lesson.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Maybe I'm learning that you know, not all people are good.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I want to believe all people are good.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I want to believe that people have the ability to
change and do good and be the person that they're
supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
And maybe that's my lesson. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Do you see the dilemma I'm sitting here having these
are thoughts that go in my head all the time,
where it's like I'm a pinball machine, Like, am I
gonna bounce this way that way? What's gonna happen that
I need to learn so that I can move forward?
But I know there's a lesson in there somewhere, and
I know that that lesson is the only ability for
me to get to my highest self.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
And I hate that.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
At the end of college, when I completed college in
three years, I said, oh my gosh, thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
No more school. I hated school work.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
It was terrible at taking tests. I just studied so
hard to get the grades that I got. And so
when I finally no longer had to do school work,
I was so excited. And now I'm sitting here in
life and I'm still learning lessons. I'm still having to
journal and take notes and understand what's going on around me.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
That's something they don't teach.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You about in school, that you're just going to constantly
keep learning and not learning in the way that you
remember learning, no, learning in much more emotionally difficult ways.
So while talking about getting to your highest self is important,
I want.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
People to have these tools. I want people to.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Know that they exist, that this is a possibility to
live your life this way. I also want people to
hear from me, in my perspective and the life that
I've experienced this far, is that getting to your highest
self is not.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Going to be easy. It's not gonna be pretty, and
it's gonna hurt, it's gonna be hard.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
It's worth it, it's worth figuring out, it's worth finding
yourself on that journey and going through all these experiences.
But it's gonna be fricking hard. And maybe it looks
like mine, maybe it looks totally different.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
But I think everyone.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Deserves to feel that and experience what your highest self
is the biggest part of your life, the most shining
moment where everything is sunshine. I do believe that that exists.
I do believe that's possible. I know that there's people
out there that have experienced it. Christina is talking about
her experience with it, but I also acknowledge that for
me in this moment, I don't think I'm quite there yet.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
I want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I'm shooting to be, and in maybe one of these
lessons that I've learned along the way, it's going to
be the one thing I need for the self awareness,
the reflection, everything to do that. I hope if you're
in a similar situation to me, that this helps you,
that you're hearing me and you're like, oh my gosh, yes, Morgan,
everything you're saying I feel.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
But I also hope you don't.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I hope you never have to go through half of
these things. I will always appreciate the things that I've
been through that have made me mentally, emotionally, physically tough today,
but I will never wish for anyone to go through them.
And so if you've gone through something, or you're experiencing
heartache similar to me, if you're experiencing career fatigue or
personal moments that are hard, just know that I do
(36:32):
believe there's a sunshine on the other end of it,
but it's going to get really messy before you get there.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
And I'm okay with that. I'm learning to be okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
It's very nerve wracking for me to be super vulnerable
and basically put my open, wounded heart out into the
world with some of these episodes, but I know the
importance of it, and I want to keep making sure
to do it, even if I'm just able to help
one person by talking about the crazy things I've experienced
in life. Make sure to check out the podcast on
Instagram at Take This Personally or email me at Take
(37:11):
This Personally podcast at gmail dot com. I love hearing
from you all, and I'm noting your ideas, advice, and
everything in between. One of those ideas, which is one
that I also had, I wanted to bring on one
of my very best friends, Julia Cole. She was also
one of my first friends in Nashville, and her and
I are kind of experts in heartbreak. She just broke
(37:31):
off an engagement last year. I'm currently dealing with heartbreak again,
so why not do a designated heartbreak episode? So that's
going to be next week. If you've experienced this, are
experience in it, or you've just ever had a wounded heart,
then I think you'll really enjoy the episode.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I can't wait to talk to y'all soon. Bye friends,
Personally with Morgan Juelsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, y'all welcome to take this personally. Morgan here. This
week I got to dive into some serious self care
work with expert Christina Lacarri. I brought her on so
she could share another resource for those who are looking
for ways to elevate their lives. Some people do therapy,
some like manifesting and affirmations. Christina likes to help people
expand their self awareness and align their energy so that
(00:41):
they can lead their most fulfilling lives. Her work is
applied to all areas of somebody's life, and reading about
her online, I thought it would be a super thought
provoking conversation and it really was. So here we go,
and I'm here right now with Christina La Carrie, Christina,
(01:03):
how are you?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh, I'm so good? And I love hearing that. I'm like,
that's a really beautiful way of explaining it and putting
it and like if I like that, well.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's awesome what you were doing to help people. And
I just want to hear all the things so it
can help some more people out there. So I want
to know what does it mean to create or reach
the highest, most powerful self?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So for me, it's less of like a mental concept.
I think it can kind of sound like it's unattainable
if you think it's somewhere to get to. And really
what I'm talking about when I say that is being
in the present moment, like being aware of your conditioned
thoughts and your reactive emotions that you know have been
programmed within you in your childhood and traumatic events, to
really choose and decide how you want to feel and
(01:46):
who you want to be, how you want to respond
in this moment instead of just being like a bundle
of reflexes. So I think it's really less about trying
to get to this version of yourself and realizing that
this version of yourself is the natural you underneath all
of the distortions and delusions and all of the thoughts
and things that cover it up.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And if somebody were to try and take their first
step into getting to that place for themselves, like you
just mentioned, kind of the underneath or lack of another term,
peeling back all the layers and revealing our true personality
in a way, how would somebody take that first step
to doing that.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know, it's like my logical brain wants to be
like you have to look at your mind. You have
to listen to the thoughts in your mind and get
aware and become aware of the looping thoughts and the
way that you're programming has been conditioned. But the other
part of me is like, I feel like you really
need to start with noticing that you feel awful in
certain areas, or you feel stuck, or you don't feel good,
(02:44):
or you feel frustrated, or you feel sad, or you
keep hitting the same walls or the same experiences, because
then it's like, what's going on? And then we start
looking at the thoughts, and then we start looking at
the cyclical emotional experiences and then looking at the physical
manifestations that reflect that. But I feel like if you
just go straight to the thoughts, you're not really honoring, like, hey,
(03:05):
I feel disconnected from myself. I feel like there's something
off here because you're just trying to be like, Okay,
what's happening in my mind? So I think they do
go together. But I'd say paying attention to how you
feel and noticing most of the time when you don't
feel clean and clear and good, it's not because of
what's happening, it's because of your perception of it and
how you're feeling about things. So I'd say the feelings
(03:26):
to start first, for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Oh and that's super hard because getting in touch with
our feelings is a very vulnerable place to be. I
do know that you were talking about on your social media,
and I think this kind of correlates to what you're
talking about here. Is if you want to accomplish all
these big dreams you have and make the big changes
in your life, you truly have to believe that you
are capable of doing that. Otherwise you're just going to
(03:50):
make it really hard for yourself. Does that kind of
connect to what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, Yeah, definitely. I mean that's a huge part of it.
You for sure can't expect to build big buls, beautiful
things and then not believe it's going to work like that.
That doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yes, you know, I'm my own worst critic, and I
think a lot of people can feel that way. And
I know I'm capable of really great things, But to
constantly be hit with failure or to see other people
succeed and you just don't think it's ever going to
happen to you. How do you make sure not to
allow yourself to kind of keep getting dragged down by
(04:25):
chasing a dream because it's really hard. It's a hard
road and doing this and me talking to you about this,
you're not saying those things aren't going to happen, but
how can we make sure that we're getting through those
negative and hard things that happen.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
There's two pieces that I feel like I said this
for my last answer, there's two pieces. There's two pieces,
but that's just what's happening. There are two pieces for this.
One is like, you have to decide that whatever you're
going to do is going to work, because why would
you put any other energy into what you're doing. And
if you decide that it's going to work, you're going
to see everything as evidence that it's working. And if
you haven't decided it's going to work, you're gonna see
(04:59):
it is evidence that it's not working yet. So I
think that choice is so important. It's just a decision.
That's where I'm going, that's the path I'm walking down.
This is what I'm doing with my life versus this
whole like, ah, is it gonna happen? Like it's in
the universe's hands, Like no, it's in your hands, like
you co create with the universe, but the universe is like,
what do you want? Yeah, you can have that, So
(05:20):
I think that's super important. And the second piece is
the emotional intelligence to realize these thoughts, these emotions, these
self sabotaging patterns, like whatever it is, that's your emotional trauma,
that's the past within you that needs to be looked at,
that needs to be dealt with, that needs to be felt, honored,
process released, so you can show up as your highest
self in the moment instead of carrying around these old
(05:43):
energetics from what you're seeing every single moment, which is
a new moment unless you have that energy in your
system all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah wow, And it sounds like it's a really cool
place to get to once you can let go and
move forward from those things. I do think a lot
of people out there I want to ensure that they're
living their best life.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
We see that on social media.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm living my best life, and I think everybody genuinely
wants to have that, And I think a way in
doing that is really becoming the conscious creator of your life.
And you speak a lot about this, how and what
would that look like for someone to truly be a
conscious creator.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So I think it's like what I was saying before
that you have to start noticing, like what have you
created up until this point. So for me, I started
realizing this with relationships where it was like, hmm, the
past three men in a row were all blonde haired,
blue eyed surfers who were in love with their ex
girlfriend who I reminded them of, and kind of looked
like there was something that was like, Okay, this isn't
(06:41):
just a coincidence, Like there was like an energetic creation
happening here. So I had to start looking at, like,
what are these guys have in common? Why was I
chasing these people who wanted nothing to do with me
and were not available. It's like having that awareness of
I guess I'm emotionally unavailable if I'm attracted to people
who don't want to be in relationship, and that was like,
why looking at what am I creating? To really own
(07:05):
that responsibility and start to kind of like not look
at necessarily all the things that happened in the past,
but the past that's still alive within you now that's
creating this moment and really being able to look at
I'm not creating the things that I want to create.
What am I creating? Why? That to me is really
where you start, and then it kind of just like
opens up the path from there.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And as we keep talking about this, I hear a
lot of things from you that almost sound a little
bit like therapy in a way. Do you feel like
becoming the highest version of yourself in therapy?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Do collide in some senses or how are they different.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I've never been to therapy to say for sure, but
I think from my perspective, what's a little different is
therapy to me seems more like it's like talking about
all of this stuff, and what I'm talking about is
really honoring those things that have stayed in our mind,
body and energetic field and that have created these actions
and programs and like where we're on this same loop,
(08:02):
but then dissolving it, realizing it's a delusion, it's not
actually true, realer happening in the moment. We're just on
an old pattern and breaking apart the energetics as that
pattern plays out in the moment, so you can operate
from presence instead of whatever life has conditioned you to be.
So I think, like with my clients and in my programs.
We're not really talking about the stuff as it is.
(08:24):
We're becoming aware that the stuff exists and noticing when
it crops up to expand beyond it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That's super interesting too, because that wasn't a planned question
at all. I was just listening to you talk about
that because I think it's important to realize there are
resources out there across the board that look different for everyone,
and this type of resource could be very valuable to someone,
just as therapy could be valuable to someone else.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
So it's cool to see.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
The differences in them and also the potential if you
do both, to see where your life could come from
and out of that.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Thank you for explaining.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and you know, I think too, it's like just
knowing where you're at. Like the work that I live
sh and teach can be super offensive and triggering to
someone who's like deeply identified with their ego and their
mind and their pain and their trauma. But for the
people who are like, oh my god, I'm dying to
get out of and stuck in these cycles. I don't
care about what happened in nineteen ninety five, but like
it's still repeating when they find this work they're like, ah,
(09:17):
but if you're still in it, it's like, my pain
is real, it did hurt. You don't know you know
there's a and I get it having been in that side.
So I think it's really like honoring where you're at
now and what you need now. Instead of thinking this
is the way or that's the way. It's like, what's
your experience and what are you looking for? Because I
have had people who have come into my containers who
(09:38):
are deeply in trauma, and I've been like, this isn't
a match for this work. This is going to feel
really far away from you and might even potentially re
traumatize you because it's such a big jump from being
like I'm in this thing that's really painful to like, hey,
that thing's not actually real. You're just tripping balls in
your head right now, and it's like it is real,
(09:58):
like it can create more of that wound. So I
think that self awareness on where you're at and what
you're interested in. Some people might never be interested in
this work ever in their lifetime, and that's okay too,
But for the people who it's for, they're like, oh
my god, where have you been my whole life?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
No, it's very powerful what you're doing. And like I said,
I think it's giving a resource to people to see
things in a different way, and that's really important. Yeah,
in that same kind of vein just talking about the
illusion of limits and fears that we have. Why do
those things even exist? And are they helping us or
are they hurting us?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I mean, I think it's really just like old unresolved
emotional energetics and things in the body, And it's just
the mind's natural way of how it processes to live
to protect itself, right, So it's just like everything is
a threat, constantly scanning for like impending doom and danger.
And I just realized that when I really started cracking
open into wealth success, all that stuff came like rushing forward.
(11:00):
I never had it before. I mean it was there,
but it didn't show up like working in TV or
any of that stuff for ten plus years. But as
soon as I started my business and things started blowing up,
it was like, what if you lose everything? What if
you've become homeless? And I was like, is not the
biggest day in your business ever? Why is that where
the mind goes? But it's like I also grew up
with a lot of financial trauma. I also grew up
(11:21):
feeling like I couldn't really count on money, so it's
like I didn't know how to deal with those emotions
and that energy, and then money started coming in and
my system was like whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't feel
safe with money. What's happening here? So I think it's
kind of that journey of understanding that's the past within you.
Here's the opportunity to integrate it through these experiences, so
(11:42):
it can be something that you can kind of like, oh,
there's my human doing the thing, like I, ah, okay,
I get it. I'm still going to do the thing.
Because if we don't see it as like a separate,
tangible object, it feels so real. It's like what if
it doesn't work? What if no one? But what if
I lose? What if I fail? And it's like, oh
my god, you're just laying in bed breathing. You're not
going to take action because you have the thought what
(12:03):
if I fail? It feels so real in your body,
but it doesn't just sound like a thought. It's like
I can't actually move. So I think being able to
see it for what it is, and to allow it
to be there without letting it lead is really like
the sweet spot.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And hearing that too, just knowing that fears can really
debilitate us from chasing things that we want to pursue.
That's also something that's been so.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Prevalent, so so prevalent.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yes, Yeah, And I know there's got to be people
out there that are listening to us talk about this
and they're struggling to feel good in the place that
they're at right now. They're sitting at home and they
just feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Nothing's going to get better. What can they do in
this moment to just take a step forward to the
(12:50):
life that they've wanted and get out of that space
of I am not doing well.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I think for me, it's like honoring and realizing that
that's just a thought that you're choosing to buy into.
Because I worked in TV and film for eleven years
before I took my business full time, and I knew
since two thousand and three when the OC came on
and I was like, I'm going to write and produce
my own TV shows and my whole life, people are like, no,
you won't get a job in LA and I was like,
(13:16):
I got a job when I'm there, and they're like, well,
you won't get another one. I was like, I got
another one. Well, you'll never stayed consistent.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I'm like, I keep working in TV, you'll never be
a producer by the time you're thirty.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm like, I'm a producer. And the thing is, my
path happened so differently than how people said it would.
Like they'd be like, you have to work in a
writer's room. I'm like, I never worked in a writer's room.
They're like, you've never had a full time job. I'm like,
I never write a full time job. I don't know,
but they keep going. And from that awareness, I realized
I just was synced into the inevitability, like I'm gonna
have my own show. It's just a done deal, Like
(13:45):
I feel it in my soul. Everything was just evidence.
Like I'd be like, Whoh, I got a job at
Warner Brothers. It's working.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Ooh, I got a job at AHBL. It's happening. I
didn't go into the yeah, but it's not full time. Yeah,
but it's not in a writer's room. I just saw
the enneric breadcrumbs is building so that there was no
need to pretend that it wasn't working. So it's like
I could have gone into the story every single time
of I'm only making eleven dollars an hour. I'm just
an assistant. I haven't gotten the full time job. I'm
(14:13):
nowhere near this, i haven't ever sold the script. I
haven't even had a meeting. But it was like my
energy was so connected to the forecast that it was
just like.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Riding into it. But in my business it wasn't always
that way. I had a lot of ups and downs
based on my perception because I didn't decide it was
just going to work. So what I'm saying is, you
decide where you are right now. It doesn't mean anything.
It's just part of the path to where you're going.
But if you haven't decided that you're going there, everything's
going to feel like shit if it doesn't look exactly
(14:41):
how your ego thinks that it should.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, gosh, I mean between talking about my ego and
the energetic breadcrumbs, yes yes to all of it, and
hearing you say some of this also kind of reminds
me a little bit of vision boards and manifestation. Do
you feel like that's part of this journey at all,
or is that something totally different?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I mean, like I don't personally vibe with vision boards
and affirmations and stuff, but like my work is largely
rooted in conscious creation for sure. I think it's just
so much cleaner to me that It's like the physical
world is a mirror, that's it. So you want to
expand in the physical you have to elevate, evolve, and
expand to a level of consciousness where the physical world
meets you there. You want healthy, intimate, high level love,
(15:22):
You've got to be at the level of consciousness to
have it. You want to have your business blow up?
Like who are you being? Life's responding to who you're being.
So to me, I don't try to manifest things. They
just happen and show up and come to me because
of my awareness and level of consciousness and energy that
I'm putting into what I'm doing. So it's like there's
no resistance. They're just pure flow and inspiration. Oh I
(15:45):
want to do this? Who I want to do that?
Oohpay and full client. It's just this effortlessness that comes
from who you're being in the present moment where I
feel like, those things aren't really necessary from my perspective,
because it's just like you don't have to ask for
what you want. It just shows up on a silver
plat when you're in the energy of everything is here
now instead of something is missing. That's just how it
(16:06):
kind of feels to me.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, no, and that's definitely an interesting perspective too, to
think of the present moment. So do you feel like
it's more achievable to be the highest self when you
are really focusing on the present rather than past future?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Oh? Yeah. The heart and soul of my work is
all about the present moment. There is no pass in future.
Those are mental concepts. So it's like when you step
out of your mind and just live here and now, like, oh,
here's a thought, Oh, come back to my body. There's
another thought, Oh, come back to my body. This is
the place where it's like you just know where to go,
you know where to turn, you know what to sell,
what to launch, what to do, when to go to
(16:42):
the farmer's market, when to shave your legs, and it
all adds up to bring you to this place where
you're like, I guess it was happening the whole time
and I just decided to move with it. So, yeah,
I feel like the past and the future are really
intricately related to the mind, because the future is just
a projected image of the percip past. So it's like
that's when we're recreating the same things. The future is now, now, now, now,
(17:06):
it doesn't actually exist. So it's like, unless we're living
in this now, we don't have access to infinite potentiality,
we don't have access to higher vibrations. We just have
access to what we've always known and what we've already
created and experienced.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Gosh, that's super powerful because I know that living in
the present is a very hard and difficult thing, but
you're talking about a whole other level of that and
then the present and existing and genuinely operating in the present.
But I think that's so important as well.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yeah, I mean it's really healing. I think that was
the whole thing I realized once I started stepping out
of my thoughts to be like, oh my gosh, the
reason I was anxious and depressed was because I was
believing all these thoughts about all these things. And you know,
so when I started using my day as a moving
meditation instead of thinking things, just like letting them move through.
(17:55):
It was like, Oh, that's not even me who feels
that way. I don't feel like that person shouldn't have
said that on the internet. That's just my mind. Like,
thank god, there gets to be that space that allows
you to actually live in peace instead of just experiencing
little pockets when you manipulate everything that's happening in the
physical to be like, ah, now I can feel good,
which just not feel good.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
No, But you've inspired me.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
You seem so content and just really here in this moment,
and I love to feel that energy from you. And
now I want that energy for myself, which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
You can have it.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
It's yours talking about your life too.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I noticed in seeing all your work you talk about
throwing out the rule book and just kind of paving
your own path and just setting that into motion, and
that mindset for you is what really changed the game.
And I just kind of want you to share that
a little bit with me before you go.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah. I feel like I was specifically talking about like
building a business, but it can apply to anything. My
business started not even meaning for it to actually be
a business. Like I was working at Apple and their
marketing campaigns and they didn't have any for us to do,
so people would just doodle on their iPads and read
books I'm going to do all day. So I just
started in an Instagram and started sharing things and it
(19:09):
just blew up the account. The following I just started,
people were like, can I work with you? And I
was like, yeah, sure, and then it just kept happening.
And what I realized on my journey has quantum leaped
very quickly was how many people wanted to make up
all of these crazy, ridiculous rules. Started. I was talking
about relationships and I remember marketing coach had said, you
need to put what kind of relationships on your bio?
(19:32):
And I was like, are you talking about what other
kind of relationships are there? And no one's going to
be like does she need a relationships with cheeseburgers? Like
I'm so confused, or they'd say, you know, the best
day to launch is on a Tuesday. You need to
create this kind of content, and I just was like,
this is ridiculous. I don't know who made up all
these silly ideas, but my energy was just so purely
into sharing my soul's work with the world and seeing
(19:54):
the results that I was created where I was like,
I just didn't listen to anyone's rules and I did
it following those energetic like what if I posted this, ooh,
what if I said that? And just seeing how it
kept building from that momentum just really inspired me to
like announce to the world that it's like, you don't
have to do things the way other people say you
do unless that lights you up and turns you on
(20:15):
where you're like, I love that idea, but most people
are not connected to themselves to feel that. They're just like, oh,
this person smart, Oh, this person successful. Oh, they said
I should do it this way, and okay, but what
does your soul say? Because my soul would rather gouge
my own eyes out with a hot spoon than sit
on a sales call. Never literally never, you want to
work with me, here's how it works. You come to
my inbox and you pay me. There's no back and forth,
(20:37):
there's no let's like talk about all your pain points.
It's like you feel it, you're ready, here's the link.
But people train you. You've got to get on a sales
call and you got to pitch them this thing, and
you've got to say yes seven times, so they subconsciously
want to say yes, and at the end of the
call it's a real thing, then they'll want to say
yes to you. And I'm like, I hate that I'm
not doing any of that. So it's like being able
(20:58):
to realize that you get to do, whether it's your
business or anything that you're creating in the physical world,
the exact way, like the literal, exact way that you
want to do it. It's the only way it's gonna
work for you because it's the only way you're gonna
do it, like fully and completely, and that is the
path that the universe is like, hey, sparkly, door number seven,
come this way, this is your door. And you're like
(21:19):
this famous person said I should do this, and door
number Seven's like okay, well, good luck. You're going to
be miserable, unhappy, and it's not gonna feel natural like
my business feels natural. I don't feel like I'm trying.
I feel like I'm just ooh, I'm going to send
an email. Oh I want to share this, and things
are just growing around me. And that's the way that
co creation is meant to feel really effortless and connected.
(21:40):
When you live in the moment and you follow your
desires and your inspiration instead of being an overly masculine
energy trying to force, hustle, pressure, create, make something happen
that already is happening.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yes, And you know, being a digital director outside of
this podcast, the thing that I've seen the most on
social media chain is that we want to see genuine
content from people.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
And it goes to show what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
If you're not connected in the soul, you're not going
to be creating genuine content because it's going to feel disingenuous.
You're not going to be the version of yourself that
is actually who you are behind the screen. And so
it just goes to show that what you're talking about
is one hundred percent true because we're just in that
place where we want realness from people. We want genuine,
we want authentic, and we want honest conversations, and that
(22:29):
just perfectly aligns with everything you're saying.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, I agree, And it's like, especially when it comes
to things on the internet, it's just like you don't
need to like force anything, you don't need to convince
me of anything. I feel your energy or I don't.
It's really simple so I think when you lead with
your energy for yourself and whatever you're building, it just
makes everything cleaner. Like people were vibrational beings, we feel things.
(22:53):
So it's like, if what you're putting out is in
alignment with who you really are. People come to me
all the time and they're like, I literally don't know
what you're selling, but I want to buy. I just
feel this resonance with you, and I'm like, perfect, you
know that this is for you on a deep level.
That's so much more than anything I could say on
some story slides, you know what I mean. So it's like, yeah,
your authenticity is powerful and magnetic, but it's also the
(23:15):
thing that builds your version of whatever it is that
you're here to build.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Absolutely well, Christina, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You just shared so much wisdom and exciting things that
now I'm really going to be paying attention for energetic breadcrumbs,
So thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You're welcome one of my favorite things.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, so thank you again just for joining and being here.
It was really awesome to get to talk with you.
You too. If you want to connect with Christina on
social media, her open Up podcast, or work with her
to evolve and expand your life. You can check out
Christina Lacarri dot com. Her last name is spelled l
I c a r E. Listening to Christina talk on
(23:59):
this episode was very enlightening and also an interesting experience
because of the current state of my life. So I
decided to do an audio journal entry with you all.
You're gonna hear my messiest thoughts as I try to
process all the things that life is thrown at me,
particularly when it comes to love and relationships. So here
(24:20):
it is my audio journal entry, Take one. You know,
love is a big part of your life, and she's
sitting here discussing with me about self awareness and trying
to align with certain goals so that you can have
this max highest self and I want that. I think
anybody listening to Christina would want that for themselves and
(24:42):
wants to accomplish that goal and be at that place
in their life where they are just achieving all of
the things because they're on such a high level of
self awareness and living in the moment that they're accomplishing.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Any and everything that they want to.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And so in this interview, I'm having envy hearing her
share or her story where she was at to where
she is now, how she got to this energy journey,
and I think it's really interesting for me to listen
to when I am sitting here doing everything I can
to not be in a fight or flight situation. I'm
going to break this down a little bit, and the
(25:18):
societal standards for what a woman should be are marriage
and kids, in the whole nine yards of this perfect life.
And don't get me wrong, I have grown up in
this society and I know exactly how I feel about
it and that I don't care that I'm not on
a certain timeline and I don't allow those pressures to
get to me. But it's still a hard pill to swallow.
(25:39):
It's still hard to sit around and see many of
your friends married, having their first kids, some their second kid,
moving in with someone, buying a house, having all of
these life accomplishments happen when you're the one that's having
a bunch of success happened, But in personal.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Areas it's not.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Because I can confidently say that my professional life has
been going so well. It's been expanding, I've been learning things,
I've been growing, doing new projects, having awesome accomplishments, and
I love that and I love to look at that
part of my life and be so excited for myself
because it's hard to do. But it's a hard pill
to swallow when I don't have someone to share that with,
(26:18):
and when I have to realize that at twenty eight
and twenty nine and now thirty, I fell in and
out of love again. I'm not mad at myself and
I'm not angry with what happened, and I would not
want to settle just for a perspective, but I'm not
going to lie to myself and say that it doesn't
hurt and it doesn't suck, and I hate being single.
(26:39):
While Christina and I were talking, she was sharing how
it's important to do a lot of self reflection and
awareness work of things going on in your life and
the experiences that you've had to be able to truly
get to your highest self. And what's super frustrating for
me is that after my relationship, the one that was
(27:00):
probably the worst one that I'd faced in my life, emotionally, physically, abusive,
all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
The list goes on, But.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
For three years after that relationship, I spent that entire
time focusing on who I was, my growth, my self awareness,
figuring out any mistakes I was making, making.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Sure to learn and unlearned.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I spent three years doing that that I was so
confident that after that three year journey, that the next
person I was going to date was going to be
my partner for life.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I'd put so much effort.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
So much work into becoming the best version of myself
that there wasn't possibly a world where I couldn't meet
my next partner and it be the best situation for
me and my partner for life. And so that's why
I go back to my disappointment of failure, which is
also colliding with my inability to settle, just because of
(27:53):
a perspective I had. This is a wish I wanted,
This is something that I wanted to accomplish. This is
what I believed in my heart, myself, soul, my gut
was going to happen because I put so much time
and energy into focusing on myself.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And I wouldn't take that back.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Regardless of everything that's happened in the last year in
my latest relationship, I would not take that time of
three years that I spent working on myself. I would
do that over again in a heartbeat, because it needed
to happen, regardless of the before and after events of it.
Spending that time with myself, dating myself, learning about myself,
(28:29):
and exploring patterns that I had had was essential for
me to become who I am today. After those three
years of focusing on myself, I stepped up. I made
sure I did not make the same mistakes again, which
is also why it's so frustrating to have spent so
much energy and lessons on yourself to then fail again.
(28:51):
This is a part of life. You try something, you fail,
you get back up again. Psychle repeats, and just as
important as success is, failure is as well.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I know this, I know all of these things.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's in my brain, It's seered into my skull of knowledge.
But it doesn't make it any less hard, and it
doesn't make it any less disappointing for myself. I want
to be this person who can accomplish the highest self.
I want to be the person who can find this
unicorn partner that I've been wanting to have for years.
(29:23):
I want to accomplish every dream that I've set out
to do, and in all fairness, in one area of
my life, I have truly done that. Working on The
Bobby Bone Show was a dream job for me, and
the fact that I've accomplished that and stayed in that
is the highest self, a part of me that is
the highest self.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I want all of me to be at the
highest self.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
In talking with Christina, and it's frustrating to me that
I've put so much time, so much effort into that
and i still haven't made it happen. And I'm saying
all of this not to get sympathy, not for anyone
to reach out and say you got this or do this.
I'm saying this because the journey to getting there, to
becoming this highest self, this person that Christina is talking about,
(30:08):
is so hard, and there's so many highs and lows
that you were going to go through with other people
and with yourself. I'm currently on a low part of mine.
I'm doing really well. I'm happy, I'm not upset. I'm
just frustrated. I'm angry. It's not with myself, it's not
with him, It's with the sequence of events that have happened.
(30:30):
The first thing I do after a traumatic event in
my life is schedule a therapy session. I don't go
to therapy regularly. I really don't need it regularly. I
typically need it when I get triggered or when a
situation happens, and that's what I did. I reached out
to her after this, and one of the first things
I told her is that I was tired of learning lessons.
(30:52):
I'm basically a professor in certain areas of the dating
and love world, and I'm done learning lessons. I'm done
teaching lessons. I'm done any thing. I just want to love.
I just want to be in love and be loved.
And I'm tired not of putting myself out there, not
of being vulnerable, not of getting hurt. I'm tired that
I keep having to learn lessons.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
And one of the funniest.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Things to me is people will always say, be patient.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Your person is out there, be patient, this is gonna happen.
I don't think people.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Realize how hard patience is when you really want something
or when you've really been burned by something. Patience is
not something that can be taught. Unfortunately, it has to
be learned and experienced in very crappy situations to truly
understand the importance of patience.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And right now I don't want to learn any more lessons.
I don't want to have patience.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I'm tired, and it's really complicated for me to understand
how there are aspects of my life that are going
so well and flourishing and others are on the complete
other spectrum. But this time, what's different about this time
than the breakup that happened my relationship Prior that time,
I was destroyed, devastated. I had to rebuild every part
(32:07):
of my being. I had to relearn so many things.
But after this relationship ended, I didn't. And maybe that's
where the growth lies. Maybe that's where my self awareness
comes in. And maybe I learned so much in the
three years of being single that it benefited me greatly
for the ending of this one where I didn't feel
lost without him.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I didn't need him.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
I didn't lose my friends, I didn't lose people in
my life that I love. I kept up with my relationships,
I kept up with my priorities and the things that
matter to me. I did not let that relationship be
my only being. I had a life outside of him
for myself. And maybe that was the lesson I was
supposed to learn in this Maybe that's a lesson we
all need to learn in things is that you were
(32:48):
always supposed to be the priority. You were always supposed
to have your own life, your own things, your own establishments,
your own goals, your own dreams, and somebody's just supposed
to come in and be a partner.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You know, I'm sitting here talking to you guys about this,
and I genuinely don't know if that's the lesson I
was supposed to take from this. I don't know if
the lesson that I was supposed to take from this
is ever gonna come up in my life or if
I'm going to be ninety years old sitting and saying,
oh wow, that was the lesson. It's particularly interesting to
me too, because I have learned that my personality type,
which some would call an impath, is directly targeted by
(33:24):
a certain group of people, which is what you have
probably commonly seen online as a narcissist. That's frustrating for
me too.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I don't understand why people can attract themselves to a
lighter force and want to destroy that lighter force. I
can't possibly comprehend that either.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
It's also another lesson.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Maybe I'm learning that you know, not all people are good.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I want to believe all people are good.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I want to believe that people have the ability to
change and do good and be the person that they're
supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
And maybe that's my lesson. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Do you see the dilemma I'm sitting here having these
are thoughts that go in my head all the time,
where it's like I'm a pinball machine, Like, am I
gonna bounce this way that way? What's gonna happen that
I need to learn so that I can move forward?
But I know there's a lesson in there somewhere, and
I know that that lesson is the only ability for
me to get to my highest self.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
And I hate that.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
At the end of college, when I completed college in
three years, I said, oh my gosh, thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
No more school. I hated school work.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
It was terrible at taking tests. I just studied so
hard to get the grades that I got. And so
when I finally no longer had to do school work,
I was so excited. And now I'm sitting here in
life and I'm still learning lessons. I'm still having to
journal and take notes and understand what's going on around me.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
That's something they don't teach.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You about in school, that you're just going to constantly
keep learning and not learning in the way that you
remember learning, no, learning in much more emotionally difficult ways.
So while talking about getting to your highest self is important,
I want.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
People to have these tools. I want people to.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Know that they exist, that this is a possibility to
live your life this way. I also want people to
hear from me, in my perspective and the life that
I've experienced this far, is that getting to your highest
self is not.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Going to be easy. It's not gonna be pretty, and
it's gonna hurt, it's gonna be hard.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
It's worth it, it's worth figuring out, it's worth finding
yourself on that journey and going through all these experiences.
But it's gonna be fricking hard. And maybe it looks
like mine, maybe it looks totally different.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
But I think everyone.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Deserves to feel that and experience what your highest self
is the biggest part of your life, the most shining
moment where everything is sunshine. I do believe that that exists.
I do believe that's possible. I know that there's people
out there that have experienced it. Christina is talking about
her experience with it, but I also acknowledge that for
me in this moment, I don't think I'm quite there yet.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
I want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I'm shooting to be, and in maybe one of these
lessons that I've learned along the way, it's going to
be the one thing I need for the self awareness,
the reflection, everything to do that. I hope if you're
in a similar situation to me, that this helps you,
that you're hearing me and you're like, oh my gosh, yes, Morgan,
everything you're saying I feel.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
But I also hope you don't.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I hope you never have to go through half of
these things. I will always appreciate the things that I've
been through that have made me mentally, emotionally, physically tough today,
but I will never wish for anyone to go through them.
And so if you've gone through something, or you're experiencing
heartache similar to me, if you're experiencing career fatigue or
personal moments that are hard, just know that I do
(36:32):
believe there's a sunshine on the other end of it,
but it's going to get really messy before you get there.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
And I'm okay with that. I'm learning to be okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
It's very nerve wracking for me to be super vulnerable
and basically put my open, wounded heart out into the
world with some of these episodes, but I know the
importance of it, and I want to keep making sure
to do it, even if I'm just able to help
one person by talking about the crazy things I've experienced
in life. Make sure to check out the podcast on
Instagram at Take This Personally or email me at Take
(37:11):
This Personally podcast at gmail dot com. I love hearing
from you all, and I'm noting your ideas, advice, and
everything in between. One of those ideas, which is one
that I also had, I wanted to bring on one
of my very best friends, Julia Cole. She was also
one of my first friends in Nashville, and her and
I are kind of experts in heartbreak. She just broke
(37:31):
off an engagement last year. I'm currently dealing with heartbreak again,
so why not do a designated heartbreak episode? So that's
going to be next week. If you've experienced this, are
experience in it, or you've just ever had a wounded heart,
then I think you'll really enjoy the episode.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I can't wait to talk to y'all soon. Bye friends,
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