Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello Sunshine, Hey Brightside fam. Today on the show, we're
popping off and dishing on the biggest pop culture stories
of the week, and this time we're joined by two
of the co hosts from the new Prime video show Influenced,
Achang Agutu and Tarn Delaney Smith. It's Friday, August ninth.
I'm Simone Boyce.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I'm Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from
Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to
share women's stories, to laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Danielle, Happy Friday. We have had some moments to discuss this.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Week, Yes we have, and we are taking no mess,
which is a little easter egg for an episode to come.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
But it's time for the weekend.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
This weekend is the official end of the Olympics, y'all.
I can't wait to see the closing ceremony on Sunday.
I wonder what they're going to cook up for us.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Well.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
On today's show, we're talking about a gold medal podium
moment that will go down in Olympics history, an alist
actor who's still having to defend her body on set,
plus a controversial relationship trend.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
But before we go there, it's time to spotlight our
favorite moment of the week, brought to you by our
friends at BMW. The Olympics have been all over our
feeds the last couple of weeks. We've witnessed some truly
special moments from athletes all over the world. Some of
my personal favorites have been with Simone Biles and cheering
on Katie Ladeki as she swam her way into greatness
(01:29):
yet again. And today we're spotlighting the youngest person to
earn a gold medal in Australian history.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
And on that note, it's time to give Arisa True
her flowers because at just fourteen years old, she is
a gold medalist in the women's park skateboarding final. Arisa
is the first Australian woman to meddle in this event
and this was actually her first trip to the Olympics
and poof, she got gold. Can you imagine earning Olympic
medal that young four cred years old? Talk about bragging
(01:56):
rights at school the next day. Okay, this is funny, Danielle,
Guess that's how she wanted to celebrate. Tell me her
parents told her she could get a pet duck if
she won.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
How adorable.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Is that that's so fourteen years old.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
That's not how I'd want to celebrate, But good for her.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
It's such a milestone. Congratulations to Arisa.
Speaker 6 (02:16):
True.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
We're so excited to see you win gold. Simone. We
have something else we're celebrating.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
We do.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's a big day today.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It is a big day. It is our one hundredth episode.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
One hundred episodes. I can't believe it's been one hundred.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You know what's funny is you and I came from TV,
and when you do one hundredth episode in TV, it
means you've had like a bajillion seasons.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
It's a huge milestone.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And we do a daily show, so it feels like
this hundredth episode came so quickly.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It really did snuck up on us. And it's been
such a joy sharing the show with all of our besties.
Thank you so much for helping us make this show
a success. Y'all ready to pop off? Let's do it okay.
Today we are joined by two of the amazing co
hosts of the Prime video show Influenced. We have achang Agutu.
She is your confidence Queen, a blogger turn model turned
(03:07):
culture maker, culture Shift or Honey. She is the twenty
twenty four Sports Illustrated Swimsuit rookie and her fashion is
nothing but fabulous and inspiring hi Vestie.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
We also have the former beauty queen and self titled
reigning Chaos Goblin, an actor, a comedian, and a beautiful
human being making us all laugh and sometimes cry in
the best way.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Taren Delaney Smith.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Hey, you're rying Hello. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So you two, along with your other co host Teffi Psoa,
c rus Vacy and Il Booker, can all be seen
on your new show Influenced, and you guys are breaking
down all of our favorite trends. So it's so perfect
that you're here today to do that with us. Welcome
to the bright Side, Besties.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Thank you so much, Thank you for having us.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You guys are officially besties. We're all part of the
Hello Sunshine family. Like it's the real besties here.
Speaker 6 (04:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Huge, congratulations on the new show. I binged this weekend
and I felt influenced.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
It worked on me.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You guys are really bringing so much heart and a
lot of laughter to that couch that you're all sitting on,
and it's a new type of talk show. How do
you think it's standing out.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
I think it is showing that young people are forming cultures,
influencing culture, making things shift and shake. I think it's
also just an exciting way to show how social media
is really very much a part of our lives and
influences the way things ebb and flow influences what we do,
(04:43):
who we are. But I think it's just a fun, exciting,
delicious way to show the world that we are the future.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Honey. Yeah, I think it's really fun to watch people
that I love interact with the show and my community
interact with the show, because for them, they're like, wow,
I can't wait to watch just when I get home
from work. It's so fun to feel like I'm on
the couch with you guys. It's just easy to watch
and it's joyful. And I'm really interested in being part
of things that ignite joy and that's a really cool
(05:13):
conversation be part of. And I think shout out to
Hello Sunshine for their job, and Hello Eensine and Amazon
and there casting. Because once we all sat down on
that couch together, we realized why we each we selected,
and the largely was because the way that we all
connected with each other. Was so genuine and so fun,
and we all have a group chat that we're talk
in almost every day.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
That's real, Auchang. We can see the glass skin from here.
Our listeners cannot see it, but we can definitely see
the glass skin. It's blinding. It's beautiful. We hear that
you have an amazing self care routine that you think
everyone needs to do.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
My go to self care routine, which I've just talked
about right now, is one hundred percent moving your body,
like even yesterday this morning. It's just kind of like
a little stretch shake to kind of have your emotions
in motion. Mine is high vibrational booty shaking, and just
(06:11):
throwing that booty in a circle really has you feeling
some kind of race.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
It has all your trauma kind of moving, It has
your emotions moving, It has your body moving, so you're
letting go of things, but also just being aware of
things that.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Your body can do.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
If you guys need a tutorial, I'm hosting a class.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Are you really no? I should really? Can I go?
Please sign up? Sign me up?
Speaker 6 (06:40):
Oh my god, come higher.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Rational booty shaking is where it's at. And I think
you should try today.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Taren, we have to say a huge congratulations, not just
for the show, but you have a husband. Officially, there
are no longer fyance. How is how is your wedding?
Speaker 4 (07:00):
I mean, I got married two weeks ago and I'm
still married, so it's going great, which is amazing.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
It was wonderful.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I really wanted my wedding to feel like the best
dinner party anyone's ever been to. We had these huge,
long tables covered in candles and greenery, and the majority
of our wedding was dinner with our life pianist, my
friend Aaron Buckner's incredible. He just played all of our
(07:30):
favorite songs all night.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Taren.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I have to tell you just from my perspective watching online,
because I've been lucky enough to know you for a
little bit. Taren is from Seattle and she's been dating
the same man for years, and they moved. They moved
to New York, and they were broke and working really
tough jobs. Taren used to be a secretary, and you
(07:56):
two really built a life together. So when I was
on Instagram watching photos from your wedding, I guess I
like felt it almost in a deeper way, because I
was like, you really built this, you built this life,
you built this love, and so it was such a
big celebration.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Thank you. Yeah, I know, it's really cool.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
I mean I met him when I was nineteen, and
so we've grown up quite a bit together, and I
mean I always say this. I'm like, I think your
partner should be your biggest cheerleader in every capacity. Your
partner should be somebody who you can, you know, look
for across the room and they've got a big smile.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
On for you, like, yeah, you got this. So it
was so cool too, you know.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
When I came home from that job that I hated,
I worked in a call center.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
I remember.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I had made my first viral video with nuts. It
was my first video I ever made on TikTok. As
it went viral, I was discovered by my now manager
and she had taken me out to coffee on my
lunch hour and been like, you should quit your job.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
And you should do this full time. And I said, no,
you're crazy, And I went home.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Shout out Shoshana with the big dreams.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
And I came home and I told my now husband
Ben boyfriend, I was like, can you believe this?
Speaker 6 (09:14):
Crazy woman wants me to quit my job.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
And it was actually my now husband who was like, Tea,
you're so talented, you've got to do this. And I
was like, I cannot afford, sir, to live off talents
and you know, and he again was like Nazi, like
you're not going to get this chance again.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
And he was the one that was like I got us,
like I.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Can pay all of our rent, like if you just
pursue this. So it's all really, I mean, it's because
of so many people. But I can never not thank
my husband for being my biggest cheerleader.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
He's a good man. Savannah.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I was big bild.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Okay, well enough about you too, It's time to pop
off about other people. Okay, are you ready already? It
is the final week of the Olympics. We have all
been watching and a moment that really stuck out to
me was during the track and field events. So this
week there was a French athlete named Alice Fino. She
broke the European record for the three thousand meter steeplechase
(10:18):
and she placed fourth overall and when she ran over
the finish line, she ran over to the sidelines straight
to her partner and she proposed within Olympic pin that
said love is in Paris, Okay. He obviously said yes,
She's on the world's largest stage right now, and she
proposed to him. My question for you is could that
(10:39):
be you? Would you all ever propose to a man?
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Here's what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
When I first saw that video, my initial reaction was like, hell, yeah,
I thought that was great. I was like, that so cool,
and I was I literally I should it's here because
as I would any other proposal.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
I just thought it was so sweet.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
I didn't even think about it until I went to
the comments and they were so naked as we can imagine.
My people were like, oh, don't do this. I mean,
I didn't like the discourse I found it. So I
was like, are we still doing this where it's like,
I don't know. I just I didn't enjoy the fact
that people couldn't take it for what it was, which
is this beautiful thing. They were both emotional, they were
(11:16):
both obviously so deeply in love, and she asked him
to marry.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
Her, and so it was great.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
However, for me, within the boundaries of my relationship, my
husband and I knew we were going to get married
from our first day, like we literally talked about it
on our second date, Like he knew for the ten
years or together that we were going to get married.
He actually tried to marry me many years ago, and
I wasn't ready because I wanted to win Miss America.
I want to Miss New York. So there's a lot
(11:42):
of things that I wasn't ready to get married. Yet
we were on our own timeline, so we always knew
he was going to ask me. I designed my own ring,
like we did that our way. When we got engaged.
There were people that were like, I.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
Can't believe they've been together for ten years.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I'd never be with them for ten years and wait
that long for them to marry me. People are always
going to have an opinion on your relationship, on your timeline,
and you've got to block it out because there is
nothing more personal. There is nothing more personal than your partnership,
be it to whatever gender they are or to whatever
that you identify. You have got to block that out.
(12:18):
So we can comment on this all day and how
it wouldn't fit into the boundaries of our relationships, but
really it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
So I think what she did was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Shout out to her. Okay, I know what you're about
to say. Shout out to that lady. Love for her, Okay.
I think that.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
She said this in her interview, saying, the reason I
proposed was that I wanted to beat the women's three
thousand steeple chase by nine, like the record was like
nine minutes, and so she got like eight fifty eight
or something, which is amazing. And then she said that
number nine was her luckier and number nine was also
(13:05):
the years that her and her partner have been together,
and she said, because he wasn't.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Going to do it, I decided to do it.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
And I think that's the part that got me. It
felt like she really wanted this. She did it on
a big stage where if this man said no, you'd
be the asshole of the Olympics, Like, what the heck
do you mean?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
You know?
Speaker 5 (13:27):
And I think that it came out of a place
of necessity for her, like she wanted the ring. This
man wasn't going to give it to her, so she
was going to use her space and this really big
moment in her life to say, Yo, I want to
marry you.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Marry me.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know, in my head it felt like no conversation
was had. In my head.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
It felt like he's not going to do it. It's been
nine years, and I'm going to have to do it
because I can't wait any longer. I support women's rights
and women's wrong ungs, and for some reason, this just
feels a little off to me. I want that love
to prosper. I want that love to be great. She
deserves that marriage, she deserves that ring. But I just
(14:12):
don't think, especially in a day like that, you don't
deserve to get on bended me to ask a man
for his hand in marriage.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
I think that I personally would not.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
My mother would appear from the depths of her bedroom
and appear to wherever I am on bended knee and
push me over, madam, get up, stand up.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Chaing the context that you dropped about her partner not
having proposed to her and it's been what nine years,
I think that is key here, Like the context is everything.
It makes me. It does make me sad that she
felt backed up against the wall, like, Okay, he's not
going to do it, so I got to be the
one to do it. That's giving me red flags about
this relationship. Yeah, I think so really.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, But don't you think sometimes people need a push,
Like sometimes people want something but they just are scared
to take it to the next level.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
They're scared to buy the house.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
She pushed him out of this playing with no parachute.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
We have to take a short break. Stick with us.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
We're back to popping off with the co hosts of
the new show influenced Taren Delaney Smith and Achang Agutu.
We do have another Olympics moment that we need to
Kiki about. This one history making moment on the podium,
the first all black podium in men's or women's gymnastics
at the Allies.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
Yes, we shared that.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yes, when Rebecca andraj took home the gold in the
floor event and we got to give a huge shout
out to Simone Biles and Jordan Childs who placed second
and third respectively. This moment was so special though, because
Jordan mentioned to Simone, hey, Rebecca to come gold. What
if we bow down to her during the podium ceremony
(16:10):
and they did. And it is this moment, this photo
that is completely emblazoned in my mind.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I think it's so inspiring. It's like the girlhood of
it all. For me, the fact that in that moment
there was so much mutual respect and admiration between those
three athletes, and the fact that like Simone Biles recognize,
she knows she's the goat, like she knows that she
is the main attraction at the Olympics in terms of
a gymnastics event, but she took the time to recognize
(16:42):
the skill and the talent of her competitor, of Rebecca.
I can't think of enough good things to say about
this moment. I'm disgushing. No, I love it. It's given girlhood, womanhood,
girls being girls and all the fun stuff. And I
think when it comes to sports, there is such a
(17:02):
heavy sense of competition, like, y, if I'm winning, you
can't be winning, or like and I know it's it's
kind of like toxic, and especially on the Olympics, where
everyone is great, like they have the best athletes of
each country. And I know there was a little bit
of backlash from a few people being like, oh, why are.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
They doing that? Why are they bowing down to her?
Or why are they you know, doing this and that?
But I feel like it's like they're giving her her flowers.
The athletes who won gold had like so many injuries
and all that stuff for her to go through, like
so many torn cels and all that stuff, to come
back to the Olympics and win gold. She deserves those
(17:42):
flowers and to have her other counterparts and her other
colleagues like respect her and give her her flowers and
be like, yes.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Girl, we're buying down to you.
Speaker 6 (17:52):
You deserve this.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That's so beautiful.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
So for other people to see that as like it's silly,
or it's disgusting or it's whatever, just.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Did make sense to me. I think what you're bringing
up is this comment from this NFL player, Marlon Humphrey
from the Baltimore Ravens. Yes. He called it out on
Twitter and said that this moment was literally disgusting, which
is so confusing because like, I just know the weirds
the weirdest comment.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
Why do men have access to Twitter? Time to take
it away?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
My first thought was, anybody who doesn't understand that does
not understand sisterhood, why would and why would he understands sisterhood?
So I don't know why I would expect him to,
But I will say that one thing my mom has
always said is the greatest leaders of all time, the
greatest leaders in our history know how and when to follow,
(18:42):
which translates to the greatest leaders, people that are truly
you know, masters of what they do and should be
and should be looked to as role models. They know
when to let others shine, they know when to promote
amplify others. There's a sense of community there and they
know how and when to foster it. And to me,
(19:03):
those other two women on the podium that agree to
you bow down, those are leaders. To me, yes, those
are absolute leaders because they know how and when to
foster community, you know, and genuine celebration for someone else.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Taran, to your point, I just listened to a podcast
with Brene Brown, Adam Grant, and Simon Sinek all about
mental toughness and they said the one indicator of mental
toughness is humility, Yes, and that to be in the
Olympics requires extreme mental toughness. I think those women were
showcasing humility. And also, when you are a part of
(19:41):
any minority group, you need the person standing next to
you more than anybody else, right, Like women women of
color understand the idea of community better than most people,
I think, And that was showcase there.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Yeah, I just thought it was the most beautiful thing.
I want to frame that photo, put it in my house.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I do too, It's so inspiring. Okay, we are going
to take a hard left turn here, you guys. I'm
going to take us back a little bit. Okay, okay, Okay,
I'm scared. Don't be scared. It's all good. What do
you what do you think of when you think of
Kate Winslet in the nineties, It girl.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Rose Titanic, the most beautiful the face.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Yes, oh, this is the face. I love the face.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
She was a little bit of America's sweetheart. Yes, it girl, Yes,
it girl. I think of Titanic, I think of classic beauty. Well,
behind the scenes, Kate Winslet was actually deeply impacted by
the media's criticism of her weight, and she says that
that's part of the reason why she developed an eating disorder.
(20:47):
And it turns out the scrutiny never ends, because just
this week, Kate Winslet revealed that on the set of
her most recent movie, while she was shooting a scene
in a bathing suit, a crew member on set told
her to sit up more so that her belly.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Rolls would show. Excuse me, Kate has been preparing I
don't know, twenty years for this moment, like the amount
of scrutiny and criticism that she has had to weather
around her body. She knew exactly what to say, so
here's how she responded. She said, not on your life.
I am not going to sit up more. Not on
your life. And she says that that response was deliberate.
(21:23):
When asked if she had an issue with looking less
perfect on screen, Kate said, quote, it's the opposite. I
take pride in it because it's my life, and it's
my life on my face, and that matters, and it
wouldn't occur to me to cover any of this up.
What's your reaction to how Kate Winslet handled that moment?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
A change you're having like a physical reaction? What's going on, Tria?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
That's so crazy?
Speaker 5 (21:47):
Number one, First of all, I'm glad she talked her
shit and she said what had to be said. I think,
especially women in the industry, the amount of scrutiny you
get for anything like these. The you can be a
popuarazzi picture of somebody walking outside and they're just walking
like cause that's life, right, And you may be a
little slouched over and the headline is like this person
(22:10):
spotted looking like this, or have gained week for me?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Why?
Speaker 5 (22:15):
I just I don't understand society's obsession with not letting
women be soft, and by soft, I mean like having
flesh and having a body. The amount of scrutiny that
I've received being on social media for people who have
told me to go to the gym, who told me
to lose weight, who've told me I will never amount
(22:37):
to anything because I am a chubbier black woman that
they can see my stretch marks, Like, the amount of
scrutiny from that is absolutely insane.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
You're afraid of a little belly.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Roll, something that shows that you are actually human, that
you have life, that from your stomach, that you are
breathing and living, that you have eaten well and nourished
your temple, that you are existing in this beautiful wildlife.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Like that's so crazy to me.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
And honey, if you want to see more belly rolls,
you can catch me on Sports Illustrated because the roles
aren't rolling there.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Honey, it is life.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
And I'm glad that she's living in that truth because
from things like like.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Crows feet or wrinkles or stretch.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Works, all these things. That is a body of a
woman who has lived. And I can tell you Kate
Winslet has lived, and I'm glad she said what she.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Had to say.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Ugh Taren, you're nodding. What do you think?
Speaker 4 (23:46):
This is an epidemic of pushing women from the moment
that they hit puberty to be thin, to have flat stomachs,
when in reality bodies were meant to bend and stretch
and roll.
Speaker 6 (24:00):
What a blessing? What a blessing like that?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Chang said, what a blessing if you have a body
that bends and stretches and the softened places, because that
is what bodies do.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
One other thing I have to say is I have
come to a point where a lot of these things
that are like thrown at you from people on the
internet is always thinks those people are experiencing and insecurity,
so people have and it's always like a putting it
on you, like for a long time for me, I'm like, yeah,
(24:33):
this is what my body looks like. Yeah I have
a fuupa And I didn't clock to me that that
was something that was maybe not accepted until people started
calling it out like oh, maybe in that dress, maybe
you should wear banks or something so that your stomach
doesn't truth. In my head, I was like, Okay, that's fine.
Like in my head, I was like, it's fine, this
dress looks cute on me. But then somebody else would
(24:54):
say that. I'm like, oh, it's not something I should
be thinking of. Or maybe next time you should wear
long sleeves. Arms done show.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
What do you mean, y'all? Like my arms is looking
so cute in sixty indies Dreys, what do you mean?
Speaker 5 (25:07):
So those are always insecurities from other people, and people
always project. When it's something they can't deal with, they
will project it on you.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I think that there's one part of this we haven't
touched on yet, which is media. So I think about
the viral thing on Instagram. You wouldn't last an hour
in the asylum where they raised me. Trend And I
remember going to grocery stores in Chicago, growing up in
the suburbs and seeing the magazine covers of Okay and
(25:39):
people in all these places, and they would circle women's
stomachs on the beach and they would like circle. They
would zoom in on Britney Spears, who was in incredible
shape and say, look at this cellulite. And I think
there was a generation of women that were raised on
this idea.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I know that it really impacted me.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I can say that that media impacted me more than
probably my friends at school or the good things my
mother was telling me.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
It is so damaging, and.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
So I think social media in some ways has actually
helped it because there are real people showing real bodies
and body diversity that are making every other woman feel like, oh,
this is normal and this is okay and this is beautiful.
But the media scrutiny, which is I think what Kate
(26:31):
Winslet is also alluding to, it was just horrendous.
Speaker 6 (26:37):
It was actlutly.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
I remember and like the way I remember growing up
under the impression because I thought everywhere was Jessica Simpson.
Speaker 6 (26:44):
They just tore her for her body in the same
the headlines.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Talking about how fat Jessica Simpson was, and now I
look back at photos of her during that era and
I'm like, what, Like, I cannot believe that we we
were brainwashed. We were brainwashed. And I also I feel
and I feel terrible for these women that were subjected
to this and nobody like I just don't feel that
(27:09):
anybody was calling it out. I don't feel that anybody.
I think that we are a lot better now about
calling it out. I think it is so pervasive that
it continues.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
This narrative has not gone anywhere.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
It's there, but at least we have platforms now that
we can call it out and talk about it more.
But it just makes me, It makes them so sad
and it's so frustrating.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Okay, I want to close out on a topic that
is let's just say it's going to be a hot take,
but I need a promise from all three of you
before I jump in.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I need your true, honest opinion.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Now, what do you think people want to hear? Because
this one it could get us.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
In some hot water. The proposal story was the warm up.
This is I'm ready, Yeah, I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
There is a new controversial relationship trend that is taking
over the internet. It is called holly amory t l
y amory. So this term was started by relationship columnists
and podcaster Dan Savage, and it's a new term that
means a partner or spouse turns a blind eye or
tolerates their partner or spouse's sexual relations with other people.
(28:17):
So TLDR, you're okay or tolerate cheating?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Could you ever? Taren? I want to start with you.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
I have runners insurance.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
I would burn this apartment to the ground, and I
know the walls heard me.
Speaker 6 (28:35):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
I like how we think that if we put a
word on something that unfortunately people have been doing to
their partners for years, that we're going to normalize it.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
No.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I mean people have been having affairs since the dawn
of time and it was hurtful then it's hurtful now.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
I think hell no is my general answer. But I
really want to.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Say whatever floats about, I want to say that it
does not float mine.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I'm not floating.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Okay, what do you think?
Speaker 5 (29:08):
A but absolutely not, honey, not on Beyonce's Internet.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Can you be saying that? Are you mad? Listen?
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Tolerating, tolerating betrayal, tolerating cheating a.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Lot of people, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
I wouldn't say I said it like married people or whatever,
but it's people who have been in relationships for a while.
Once you've built something, sometimes it's hard to let that go.
But then it's a sunken cost. If somebody has disrespected
you in your relationship in a way that you deem
is not tolerable for you.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I think you must pack your bags.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
And you need because you're you are tolerating this madness
for the sake of who. Because at the end of
the day, you're still upset, You're still mad, You're still worried.
You're still worried if this person is going to do this, this,
and this there. You're worried if this person is bringing
what back into your house for the sake of what
a nice house in West Village.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Okay, I'm going to throw in one little thing to
stir the pot. I have a really close friend who
got married when we were young, and she started having
kids and stopped working, and so her husband is the
breadwinner and finances her life and the children's life, their
family's life, and she takes care of the kids. He
(30:34):
cheated on her, and she called me and she was like,
I love him, I don't want to break up our family.
And I also feel stuck. I think once I'm not
married or have children, so simon, I'm going to defer
to you. Yeah, but once you have kids, I do
think there's something that changes in your mind about cheating
(30:55):
what do you think.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I think that a marriage is strong enough to survive cheating.
I mean, marriages do it all the time. I think
what becomes problematic is a pattern of that, Like after
you've repaired and after you've committed to rebuilding the trust
as partners. If this is a pattern, which is what
tollyamory is, it's like turning a blind eye. I'm not
(31:18):
saying this is what every marriage should do, but I
just I do want to say it is possible for
a marriage to recover from an affair. And when you
do have kids, there are more factors to consider. Now,
I would say to that friend, she better get her
finances in order, Like she needs to be autonomous, she
(31:39):
needs to have agency in that relationship. I pray to
God that she has at least transparency over the bills
and how things are being She does.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
But she still doesn't want to break up her family,
like she you know, She's.
Speaker 6 (31:52):
Which I can respect.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
And I think I think a lot of women out
there I want to acknowledge. I feel like a lot
of women out there they see this and this is
the sacrifice.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
They're like, this is the sacrifice because.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
We see that with so many athletes wives, I think, right, yeah, But.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
What I'll say is I've never had married parents in
my household. Right.
Speaker 6 (32:12):
My my mom.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Separated from my dad right before I was born. We
won't go into all that on this show. But what
I can say is there was never a day that
I wish my parents were married. Because my mom, yes,
she struggled a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
I don't feel broken from that. I feel strong from that.
I love watching my mom know her worth and know
what is good for her, and know that my mom
wanted freedom, she wanted She was like, I wanted to
live my life the way I wanted to, and I
wanted to raise my children the way I wanted to.
And so if I don't know, if anyone's listening to
this and they're toggling between that, I can just say
(32:54):
I'm from a home where that's happened, and my mom's.
Speaker 6 (32:59):
Okay, you did a great job.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
And I am now happily married, and I know that
that's because I was raised by a woman who really
taught me that I don't need a man to support
her completely, but I do get to choose the partner
that will love me in the way I need to
be loved.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
That is so special.
Speaker 5 (33:21):
Because I think the thing is that also keeping that
family unit where now there's no whether you've healed from
that betrayal, where now there's a point where there's normal love.
Your relationship with your partner is not the same. Kids
peak a pickup on things like that, right, They can
(33:42):
tell these attentions, They can tell the something that is wrong.
So you would rather keep that toxic thing together for
the sake of a space that.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Has already been burnt down, you know.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
And I think when these children added into the equation,
it does make things different. But like Tarn has said,
there is space for healing, there is space for re restoration,
whether it is and for my for me, I truly
believe it can be by yourself and so for your friend. Yeah,
(34:20):
try and figure out how you can have autonomy in
that relationship where you you don't have to be folk
like be like the only person who's bringing money back
into this house is this man, and I cannot live
without this man supporting me or my children.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
That you know, someone who did a great job of
acknowledging that a marriage can heal. And then it doesn't
necessarily mean if you stay you're foolish or something, right,
like if you stay with a partner who really wants
to repair things and.
Speaker 6 (34:46):
It's genuinely sorry.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Right.
Speaker 6 (34:49):
I also think there's beauty in that and that's good.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
Yeah, but it's more so this whole toleration of betrayal,
tolerating being hurt again and again and again. That's a
different conversation.
Speaker 5 (35:02):
Yeah, I think, yeah, to they need to take that
off to the internet.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Since they need to, someone's going to start a clult.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
No, no, no, taliamory cult. We can't be doing that. Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
You guys are just incredible and smart and thoughtful and funny.
And if you all want more of Tarin and Achang,
which I'm sure you do, go watch Influenced on Amazon.
It's so great. Thank you for popping off with us today.
Speaker 5 (35:33):
Yes, thank you, superstar, Thank you for having us pop
off with y'all. Thank y'all.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
We love y'all.
Speaker 6 (35:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Taren Delaney Smith and Achang Agutu are the co hosts
of the new talk show Influenced. All ten episodes are
available to stream right now on Prime Video.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
We need to take a quick break, but we'll be
right back. Don't go anywhere. We're back. All right, Danielle,
it's Friday. Let's get ready for the weekend with another
What's in Your Cart presented by Walmart. So this is
our weekly segment where we have the opportunity to share
(36:12):
product that we're just loving right now.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
I love sharing products I love, so last week I
gave a huge shout out to my absolute favorite mascara
of all time, Loriel Voluminous. And this week it's all
about being smooth. And I'm not talking about sliding into
your dms or the trending Apple dance that's take it over, TikTok.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
I am talking about smooth skin.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
I don't know about you, but I love having supple,
soft skin, especially in the summer.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Uh yeah, who doesn't love soft, supple summer skin.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Okay, Well, I've tried all.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Of the lotions, all of the oils, and I always
come back to one hero product. It is the Palmer's
Body Lotion. And this is actually a family secret. My
great great aunt Margie used it, my mom used it,
and now I use it.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
There's so many different versions.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
You have the body oil, the lip care, and of
course the body lotion, which for me is the og product.
It's really great after you get out of the shower.
And it's especially great if you get a spray tan,
because other lotions take your spray tan off. This one
keeps it on. It extends mind for like a whole week.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Palmer's It's a classic, a tried and true beauty staple.
Nice rec Danielle. I'm gonna be hanging with my boys
at the pool this weekend, so maybe I'll add some
Palmers to my poolback.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Phil, Thank you. You'll smell so good after you put
it on.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Okay, Bestie's that's it for today's show. Thank you to
our partners at Walmart. On Monday, Oscar nominated actor June
Squib joins us to talk about her leading role at
ninety four years old in the new movie Thelma Plus.
She gives us a glimpse into Hollywood through the ages.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The bright
Side is a production of Hello Sunshe and iHeart Podcasts
and is executive produced by Rehys Witherspoon.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Production by Arcana Audio. Courtney Gilbert is our associate producer.
Jessica Wank is our producer. Our senior producers are Janice Yamoka,
IT'SI Kintania and Amy Padula. Our engineer is PJ. Shahamat.
Additional mixing this week by Zach Schmidt.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Arcana's executive producers are Francis Harlowe and Abby Ruzika. Arcana's
head of production is Matt Schultz.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Natalie Tulluck and Maureen Polo are the executive producers for
Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Julia Weaver is the supervising producer, and Ali Perry is
the executive producer for iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Tim Palazzola is our showrunner.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
This week's episodes were recorded by Graham Gibson, Carl Catel,
Jessica Crinchitch Bahied Fraser.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Our theme song is by Anna Stumpf and Hamilton lighthauser.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Special thanks to Connell Byrne and Will Pearson.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I'm Simone Voice. You can find me at simone Voice
on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
And I'm Danie yea Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
That's r O b A.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Y See you Monday. Keep looking on the bright side, y'all.