August 18, 2025 • 36 mins
Power suits, parenting, and the pursuit of peace! Ashlyn Harris joins Simone to talk life after soccer—from growing up with hand-me-downs to redefining what greatness means beyond the game. She shares why winning isn't everything, how parenting has become a space for healing, and why she’s embracing her soft life era.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Today on the bright Side, we're kicking off with a
legendary goalkeeper, World Cup champion, and a woman who inspires
us all to live more unapologetically. Ashland Harris is here, y'all,
and she's opening up about the beauty of embracing the
soft life, the true cost of pursuing greatness, plus the
best gift she's ever received from her partner, Sophia Bush.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I think the bright side is really living life again
and understanding who I am in this new journey, and
learning that I don't have to suffer like I don't
have to put myself in pain to feel alive.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I'm simoone voice, and this is the bright side from
Hell of Sunshine. Let's get into today's guest. Ashland Harris
is a force. You know her as the former goalkeeper
for the US women's national team, a two time World
Cup champion, an Olympian, and a Cocoa Beach, Florida native
who played one of the most pressurized positions in all
(01:02):
of sports. Now, I've dealt with pressure in my own work,
but not like that. So heading into this conversation, I
was really curious what drives someone like that, What makes
a finely tuned machine like Ashland Harris tick. But to
be honest, I quickly realized this wasn't going to be
the conversation that I expected. Ashland is in the middle
(01:25):
of a huge transformation. She is letting go of this
identity that she built up over the course of many
years as an athlete on the world stage. The confidence,
the swagger, the pursuit of greatness, that's all still there.
Her mindset and priorities have shifted, though, and they're still shifting,
so I had to shift too. You're about to hear
(01:47):
the contrast between who Ashland used to be and who
she's becoming. These days. She's all about connection, presence, and peace,
lots of peace, and that piece is even more precious
now after becoming the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny during
a highly publicized divorce. She's a mom of two who
(02:08):
plays hard, a girl after my own heart in that respect.
She's head over heels for her partner, Sophia Bush, and
she's living a life that looks very different from the
one that initially made her famous. But one thing that
hasn't changed is her heart for justice. Ashland is still
showing up for LGBTQ plus rights for mental health and
for equal pay in women's sports, and that unfiltered, soul
(02:31):
led energy is at the heart of her new podcast,
Wide Open. So in sports, that term being wide open
means you're ready for anything. It's literally a chance to
change the game. And that's exactly what she's doing. Through honest,
unfiltered conversations with heavy hitters across sports, fashion, music, entertainment,
Ashland is helping all of us redefine what it means
(02:53):
to win and wherever you are on your own reinvention journey,
I think the lessons she's learning now are things we
can all take with us in our own lives. Ashland,
Welcome to the bright Side.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Thanks for having me. It's good to be here.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, it's so good to have you. You know. I've
run into you a couple of times, both at our
podcast studios and then at events. I don't know if
you remember this, but I remember a conversation that we
had in the bathroom at a Laurel Award show, and
you are wearing this incredible suit and tie and we
kind of got talking about how powerful it feels to
(03:31):
wear suits.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Power suits are everything for me.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
They really are what is it for you? Like, what
is the feeling about wearing a suit and tie that
just like does it for you?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, I would never be caught in address, so we'll
start there, or maybe I would. I don't know. I'm
very open these days for whatever is fashion forward and cheap.
But I just like I feel good in a suit.
I feel comfortable and it's where I feel at my
best to move in the spaces I need to move.
(04:05):
And for me, if I feel good, then I'm like
in a good place to operate as like my full self.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I feel you on that. I feel so much safer
in a suit and so much more comfortable whether it's
suit or pants. But I don't know, it's just it's
like you were saying, like I feel like I can
move around in it a bit better. But for me personally,
when I started wearing ties with a suit, that like
unlocked a new level of confidence for me, and I
(04:35):
was like, Oh, this is what it feels like to
be a powerful man.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And a lot more comfortable. Can you imagine that? Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Exactly. And also what I've realized with ties and suits
is you have so many more possibilities you can mix
and match if you just have the blazer and the
pants and the button down shirt underneath, and then different
ties you can switch them up. I'm like, this is
how men have been dressing for all of eternity. This
is so much easier.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Imagine that the hacks we're not meant for us.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Seriously, but I'm now we're claiming them as are own.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yes we are. I've been in suits for a very
long time. I actually just got another three to the
house today, a custom suit. Chess kiss, chess kiss. When
you saw me, that was an oversized look for me.
I usually when I'm working, I'm like, you could peel
them off my body. But when I'm like chic elegant mode,
(05:37):
I'm okay with like a baggy fun moment. But not
when I work. When I work, I am like tailored
to a.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
T dandy baby, gotta keep a dandy. I know that
you're always telling a story through your fashion choices. What
do you think is the story that you're telling through
your fashion these days?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I think we all should get to a point where
self ex expression is so important and valuable to us individually,
because when you show up to the spaces you want
to show up. It really tells a story about who
you are and why you move the way you do.
So for me be an authentic You know, I really
dress based on my mood for the day. There's not
(06:19):
a real rhyme or reason, and it's just like, if
I'm feeling viby and I'm feeling vibrant, I will be
a lot more colorful. And I think what people neglect
to realize is the way you show up tells a
lot about who you are, whether I'm in front of
(06:41):
the camera or behind it. I dress a certain way
based on how I want people to take me seriously,
and that really matters to me. I'm a very very
professional dresser. I go over the top, but that's just
who I am, And I know we live in a
world where the first thing people are gonna check is
my appearance. So I make sure like I'm very comfortable
(07:05):
and I'm purposeful and all of these things matter because
I walk into important rooms and I want the respect
like I deserve.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So does Ashlyn Harris own a pair of sweatpants? Is
this the thing?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Listen? I could put sweatpants on and have a suit jacket, yeah,
and a button up shirt and a tie with a
pair of like nice penny loafers, and we keep it pushing,
like even now, there's no reason why I need have
dress pants on, dress socks on, and nice shoes you'll
never see them.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
This is how I took my kids to school. Wow, Okay,
so clearly I'm a type B mom. You're type A
mom because what I wear to what I wear to
school drop off could best be described as like goblin
mode goes outside. I do have my moments where I
(07:58):
can I can dress it up a little bit, but
mad respect, mad respect dashlyn.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh yeah, it's a thing. And you know what, like
I dress my kids up for school, and I do
their hair every day, and I do my son's hair,
and like I not that I want them to be superficial,
but like I want them to feel good going to school.
And like, you know, I grew up having hand me
down a lot from my brother, or shopping secondhand or
(08:27):
getting shoes at payless. Yeah, and like I know the
toll it takes on young kids, the bullying when you
come into school. And my clothes were oversized because my
brother was much bigger than I was, And like I
know the toll that took on my self confidence so like,
I don't know if it's more for me and healing
(08:48):
my pain from my childhood, or like, I just don't
want my kids to go through that, and I want
them to, like, you know, feel good when they go
to school and feel that. You know, today my daughter
picked out a beautiful little pink, purple, sparkly dress, and
I have her in some Jordan dunks, or I have
her in some crisp white Chucks, like I just you know,
(09:10):
and I get her a little side, little Hello Kitty
bag that pulls it all together, and it's like it's
fun for us. And I'll do her makeup. I'll do
my son's makeup. They have these little Hello Kitty makeup things,
and I'll paint their nails.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's also just.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Like time to be with my children and show up totally.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
And I think instilling that sense of self expression in
them is so important. I heard somewhere that a mom
telling their daughter that they look beautiful, or telling their
son that they look handsome, or just just gassing up
your kids in that way is so important for them
and it really sticks with them.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, i think it's important for them to love themselves
first and foremost, you know, It's like I have a
mirror that's like right in the doorway in the entryway
and almost like slow and go, look how beautiful you look.
And she's like, oh my god, my hair, my skin.
And now my kids are like on this obsessive they
(10:09):
want tattoos. So I do the little fake tattoos on them,
and we just like we love doing the most. We
definitely don't do the least.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What's your policy on tattoos? When is the age when
you'll give them the green light?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I know what I was like, and I told my
mother at seventeen, you have two options. You can take
me to the tattoo place and sign off on it,
or I'll do it in a garage at a friend's house,
very low sanitary, and I don't know how this is
gonna end up. So we have we can fluctuate because
(10:47):
either way I'm doing it. And that's just kind of
like the mentality I had. I was like, I'm gonna
be real honest with you, Mom. We can either do
this like really professionally or not from then on out.
I am not kidding you. My mom, for every hull,
every birthday, anything was like a gift certificate to my
favorite tattoo shop when I grew up, which was called
(11:07):
against the grain in my town. And she just knew.
She was like, I'm this kid is so wild and reckless,
Like I do not need her getting like prison tattoos.
Like just go here, here's a gift card two hundred bucks.
It'll start you out just fine, Ashland.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
This story reaffirms to me that you did not have
a black mom growing up, because if you had a
black mom like I did, and you gave her those
two options, Mom, you can either drive me to the
tattoo place or I'm gonna go get a tattooed myself.
Do you know I would have gotten my ass whoa whoa.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
My mom, Listen, she she knows I don't mess around,
and she I grew up playing in boys sports and
no one respected or took me seriously.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We'll be back with more after this quick break, and
we're back. So fast forward a few years. You become
a professional soccer player, and I know that the wages
for women, for female athletes aren't anywhere near where they
should be, but I imagine that you started to get
a taste of like what getting money for the first
(12:16):
time could look like. You know like what financial freedom
could possibly look like. So coming from that background, what
was that feeling like of having money for the first time.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Well, I didn't at the beginning of my career. We
just weren't paid very well. And what I knew more
than anyone was to make the most of the situation.
And I hustled. And I learned to hustle at a
very very early age. I mean I remember in middle
(12:48):
school and high school. I used to shoot dice all
the time in school to take people's like lunch money,
And I mean I could get like twenty five bucks
a day just cooking people and shooting dice. So to
give you perspective, I signed my first contract, I think
it was two thousand and nine, was my first professional contract,
(13:12):
and I believe I made twenty thousand dollars or twenty
five thousand dollars for the season. And I was already
playing for the Like I was on the US team.
I was four time All American in high school, like
went to University of North Carolina, won three national championships.
Like I was doing all right. But what I learned
(13:33):
from my background and my upbringing is how to hustle.
And when everyone was so focused on sports and the
game and this and that. I'm like, how am I
gonna make money?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I started hustling with coaching, and I would create like
six person coaching clinics and I would up social media,
came out, people liked the way I look, It mattered
what I said, and I was like, started cooking up
how to be an influencer, how to get brand ambassador deals,
(14:08):
and then I didn't have to rely on the money.
I wasn't clearly being paid and I just started making
a lot of money outside of it.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I know that you love fashion, So do you remember
what was the first big ticket item that you purchased
with your paycheck that you hustled for? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And I still have it because it reminds me every
day of where I came from and where I want
to go. I didn't come from anything. I definitely my
parents were not shopping in department stores and didn't even
know what the hell a department store was. When I
showed up to college, I didn't know a lot of things.
I didn't know really nice brands because that's not the
(14:48):
way my family operated. And one of my roommates and
close teammates came from La. She showed up with these
chic like Chanelle glasses. I don't know what the hell
that was, and these really nice expensive jeens and really
put together and she you know, and a few of
my my teammates had these like nice Michelle watches, which
(15:10):
to me was like a Rolex because didn't even know
what the fucking role X was at the time. When
I got my first paycheck, I went to like Nordstrum
and I bought a Michelle watch and that was It
was literally my entire month's salary and I.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Still have it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
It's like just a sweet reminder of the importance of
like I wanted to do that for myself because I
wanted to fit in, but also to show myself what
is possible. You know, if you work hard enough, you
can buy these things for yourself. And I didn't put
(15:49):
that much like value on it. Besides, it's a reminder
every day of why I do what I do. Yeah,
but it also reminds me of where I've come from
value it holds in my heart. It's bigger and better
than any watch I could ever buy at this point.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I love that I've talked to other olympians and athletes
about the symbolism of winning, So I'd love to ask
you about that. A track athlete once told me that
crossing the finish line there was there was some symbolism
behind that, and that she almost used it as a visualization,
(16:26):
like there was something or someone waiting for her on
the other side as she crossed that finish line. Was
there ever a deeper meaning behind winning for you? What
did winning symbolize for you as an athlete?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I think when we get too caught up in the
winning and the losing part of sports, and we measure
our success based on winning and losing, we're really failing
ourselves in terms of the journey it took to get there.
My worth is not wrapped up in how many things
I've won. Nothing in my house. If you walked into
(17:01):
my house, you would never know I live here. There's
not one jersey on a wall. I have one award
that's like a queer icon award that means the most
to me of like standing up for my community. But
I don't put value on winning or losing, because what
I came to realize is I valued winning so much
(17:25):
that once I won my first World Cup, after it
was over, I was like that's it. I get this little, dainty,
little gold metal that doesn't bring me any joy. It's
actually somewhere collecting dust in a ziploc bag and my closet.
It's just if you put too much into that, you
(17:46):
forget the process and journey that led you to the
moment of greatness. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness.
It's the journey. It's the people, it's the failures, it's
the heart, it's all the shit in between. It's the
little moments. It's not always the big moments that stick
with me the most. So I don't really put too
(18:09):
much hard concrete worth into winning. I think it's a
slippery slope and I know what it's like on the
other side, and like, I put so much into it,
and then once it was over, I got the blues
and I was like, this is it. It's a good
reality check.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I think that's such a refreshing reminder because even if
you're not a professional athlete, I've personally struggled with entangling
my identity with my work. And then when the work
goes away, or when you have kids, for example, and
you have to re examine your relationship with work. Then
it's like, oh, I can't rely on that source of
(18:50):
validation anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, And I think you get to a point where
you realize the more rooms you walk into, no one
gives a shit what you do. People care about how
you make them feel, eat them like. I'm not above anyone.
I'm not above the people that clean floors or serve
me food. Like how I treat people matters, and I'm
not above anyone based on some bullshit trophy of one
(19:15):
here or there.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
When you said pursuit of greatness, that made me think
about Timothy Chalomey's speech at the Sagawards, where he was
very candid about wanting to be one of the greats,
and it really elicited mixed responses from people. Some people
said that he was too brash to do that, some
people celebrated it. Do you think that we should be
(19:39):
more open about our pursuit of greatness? What was your
reaction to his speech.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, I think it's bravery. I think people are too
fearful to say the hard things in case they don't
live up to the expectation. That's the whole point of
the pursuit of greatness. Not everyone is going to make
it to the top. The air is then at the top,
it's hard to survive. At the top, all eyes are
on you, there's more judgment. You know, everyone wants to
(20:05):
be rich and famous until you're famous, and you're like,
I don't want to be famous at all. It's like,
it's an interesting complexity that you know, I respect. Listen,
you know you don't know until you try, and being
bold enough to say I'm on the pursuit of it
holds you accountable. You know, you can't cut corners, can't
(20:27):
expect things just to fall onto your lap. You have
to work for it.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You have to do the.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Shit other people aren't willing to do. There's no secret sauce.
Everyone is so fearful about failing. They push their own
judgment and own expectations on you. So don't you don't
chase the greatness. That's not my burden to carry.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's so true. And I think those projections really come out.
I've really seen them come out whenever I'm making a
big life pivot, whenever I'm in the midst of reinvention.
And I'd love to hear from you, what's the pivot
you're most proud of.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I'm learning and evolving. Every day I'm constantly pivoting. I'm
I'm on this journey of self healing and self discovery
and this like who am I outside of soccer? Who
am I outside of being a mom? And I think
it's such a beautiful, fun challenge. Like I'm so grateful
(21:27):
every day to wake up and be like, hey, I
have another shot at this, because like one thing money
can buy is time and health, and and the fact
that I have that in this moment, I don't want
to waste it. So every day I'm real like I'm
rediscovering something beautiful and something unexpected from very small, minor
(21:49):
things that aren't mind changing, but for me, like I
find beauty and like that's just simple normal things in
life because my life is so big and I'm able
to go to all of these events where we walk
into the bathroom and God knows who's at this lorial event,
but for me and my beauty comes in like very normal,
(22:11):
minimal moments like I love cooking for my family. I
love the chaos of my children running around in the house.
So are my four year old crawling into bed with
me this morning and like trying to peel open my eyes,
like those keep me wanting to be better, better version
(22:32):
of myself for them, for my partner, for my friends,
and for myself. I just hold tight on the things
that matter the most, and that's my partnership and my
children and my family and this life I'm building and
every day it changes.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
What's been the biggest learning for you on this healing journey,
in this journey of self discovery.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Probably just the swings of the good days and the
bad days and finding beauty in both. I think at
the end of my care I was chasing like happiness
and joy, and now that I have tried that and
to reshift my life and my mindset, I am like,
I just want peace. And it's not a place of searching,
(23:16):
it's just a place of being and I just want
to be in peace. And then that started with me,
you know, buying a place in the woods and bringing
my kids and peeling everything away and just playing like
why as an adult, why can't we play. I'm on
that trampline with the kids. I'm rolling around in mud
(23:38):
pits with the kids. I'm making s'mores until my stomach
hurts and I'm bent over Like that to me is
joy and peace instead of chasing this pursuit of excellence
and money. And yeah, like I just I'm good.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
We've got to take a quick break, but we'll be
right back. Welcome back to the show. I admire the
way that you show up in the world, Ashland. You
always show up with a sense of authenticity and vulnerability
that I think is inspiring to a lot of people.
And I think that's why a lot of people are
attracted to you and what you have to say. I
(24:18):
also know that, and you've alluded to this, that you
know it is. It can be toxic being a public
figure right now, and everyone has a microphone, whether they
deserve it or not. And I'm curious if you've ever
felt pressure to maintain a certain image while dealing with
(24:39):
your own humanity behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I don't even think about it, Honestly, I don't even
think about that. I'm living my life every day. I'm
just opening the doors for people to get ten percent
of it, and they think that they know ninety five
percent of it. I live my life to the fullest
through the lens that I think is the best to
(25:03):
help people, help people who struggle, help people who don't
feel like they're valued, and seeing in their home. I
fight for queer rights, I fight for women's rights. I
fight for the rights of women in sports because purpose
matters to me, and every day when I am thinking
(25:26):
of what my why is, it's always to make this
world better for my kids and make sure people who
lived my life don't have to work as hard as
I had to and just be great at their craft.
And that's paying women right, whether it's in sports or
women in this culture period.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
You mentioned your advocacy for female athletes. What do you
think is the next frontier in that conversation, because we've
seen an explosion in audience interest in females over the
last year and a half. But where do you want
to see the conversation go next in terms of how
we advocate for these women.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Pay them what they're worth. You know, before we didn't
have the numbers, we didn't have the resources. We weren't
checking the typical marketing and media standards in terms of output.
How much do you make, how much our ticket sales,
how much our media rights? Now we are so now,
what's the excuse we're still not paying women? It's like
(26:29):
it makes no sense to me. Page backers is still
making eighty thousand dollars a season. What are we talking about?
Like people are like, yeah, the Kaylin Clark makes twenty
five million outside of the WNBA. What about that? Oh,
so we're now normalizing that they can't just be paid adequately.
That now they've got to go work ten other jobs
(26:50):
on the one day off. They have to check all
these sponsors. Most men aren't even rolling out of bed
unless it's a seven figure deal.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
What needs to happen, Like who are the gatekeepers that
need that need to actually change? Like who can we
hold accountable?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That's a great question. You know, visibility is there, which
it's never been. You turn on TV now you can
see women in sports. Now you're realizing, oh wow, everyone
is actually enjoying watching it. But these these TV rights
they have to be substantial, they have to be easily
access because they want to make so much money in
(27:27):
the leagues, they're so fragmented. You know, back in the day,
it was like, oh, let's just sign this massive deal
with T and T, and everyone knew where to find
and where to watch. You know, it really boils down
to streaming. The industry has changed so much it's really difficult.
So everyone kind of is on this roller coaster to
(27:48):
figure out, well, what does this mean and what do
we do next?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Ashlyn and I want to end on a love note.
I want to talk about love. You mentioned that your
partnership with Sophia bush Is is very high priority in
your life. How are you two keeping things interesting? How
are you do you guys have regular date nights? This
is something me and my husband are always trying to
like nail down, like Okay, we got to do a
(28:13):
date night this week, and then life kind of like
gets in the way. So are you too good about that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I think what makes us so great is we're so
vulnerable and open to conversation, Like when one of us
definitely feels like okay, like I miss you, I'm with you,
but it's not like quality time. It's more so like
flying here and schlepping here and events here. Like we
just have really really good communication where we're like, Okay,
(28:40):
let's clear the schedule, let's like have dinner, and even
last night we spoke about it. We're like, we've been
working a lot lately, traveling a lot. We need to
like spend a little bit more quality time doing the
things like we want to do and clear some hours
in the schedule to be spontaneous. Like I miss being
like really spontane. I miss just being like I'm gonna
(29:02):
get in the car and I'm gonna go, like go
here and go for a picnic or go check out
this place. Like I feel like as you get older,
you're so like scheduled and so routine, and I kind
of just want to be like, what about just like
picking up and going somewhere. I do think the key
to us is being really locked and having really good
(29:24):
communication and finding and carving out time where we like
do fun things together, have date nights together, go on
a quick trip together, or like laugh our asses off,
or have a dance party. It doesn't have to be
so extravagant. It's just like a moment to reconnect, and
we value that.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
What's your ideal date night or day date.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I really love cooking. I mean even tonight, I'm gonna
grill some steaks and some chicken and have a glass
of wine and listen to music. And I just like
I love living the simple life because I just haven't
had that and life moves so quick and I really
want to be and be present in these like sweet
(30:10):
little moments that you know, I get to have with
her and we get to watch like these young kids
grow up, and hearing the joy and their laughter and
having a really good time means the world to me.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Are you too a gift giving couple? Do you do
you give each other gifts on holidays and birthdays? Or
gifts a big deal?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I'm an experienced person, Okay, is the best gift giver?
Like it actually stresses me out.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Oh So she's like so good that you feel the
pressure to kind of match her abilities.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, I mean she's so thoughtful, she's so sweet. Like
she's one of those where she'll go, like I don't know,
wherever she needs to go for work or wherever for fun,
and then she's like, oh my god, this is the
perfect gift for Tyler's birthday. And I'm like, awesome, when's
his birthday? Uh, like October? And she will hoard it
(31:03):
and hold it and package it until like each oh
this little clip is this money clip has an a
on it. It would be perfect for so and so,
And I'm just like, you're so thoughtful, Like I do
not think that way. When I'm like walking in and
I'm shopping, I'm like kids partner me.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, So what's the best gift Sophia has ever gotten you?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Honestly, Like I know, it sounds so cheesy, but just
the way she shows up emotionally for me is honestly
the greatest gift. She is such a sweet, genuine soul.
She would like do anything for her people, and I
think that's so admirable for who she is and how
busy she is. She's so thoughtful and is always thinking
(31:49):
about other people, and I just think that's like a
beautiful gift and not many people have it.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, it is okay. One last question for you, Ashlynn.
This is something that we ask all of our guests
here on the bright Side. Tell me about an area
of your life where you have found the bright side,
like an area that was maybe a challenge for you
and recently you found the bright side of it, Or
tell me about an area of your life where you're
currently searching for the bright side.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's a great question. It's interesting, right. I think for me,
I find as a professional athlete, I find so much
that I'm very comfortable and chaos and I'm very comfortable
and suffering and darkness because you have to move differently
(32:36):
to live the life I lived as a professional athlete,
to choose to do it all over and over and
over and wake up every morning and do it again.
I'm learning now that life is so beautiful and life
is so colorful. I'm unlearning a lot of the things
in sport that made me great, but also has it
(32:59):
has made me a machee. And I think the bright
side is I'm experiencing life like truly for the first time.
I'm just like really experiencing life as a thirty nine
year old again. Like I get to go on trips,
I get to do things, and I get to like
(33:20):
be hungover. I mean, imagine that, wow, And like if
I don't want to work out, I don't have shame
and guilt. I don't punish myself. So I think the
bright side is really living life again and understanding who
I am in this new journey and learning that I
don't have to suffer, like I don't have to put
(33:43):
myself in pain to feel alive. That like, there's so
much more beauty out there than how fast you can run,
how hard you can sweat, how sore you can feel.
Like I'm like I'm in a different place in my life.
I did that for far to too long, and I
know the toll it took on me and my mental
(34:04):
health and my body. And now I'm just being a
lot more gentle and kind and loving and moving through
the world with ease and light and really finding like
the bright side of what life can be outside of sport.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Is it fair to say Ashlyn Harris is embracing her
soft life era? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Oh god, yeah, I am such a sap.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I'm really into my feels. I'm having like great conversations.
I'm starting this, you know, new podcast, Wide Open. It's
like I'm really in this gentle side of like connection.
I think with technology we've really lost a lot of
the human element. And my like pursuit of greatness now
(34:49):
is to really just reconnect with people.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yes, soft life, no more suffering. We're not suffering no more.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Okay, no, no, no, no, no no, We're done with that.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yes, Thank you so much, Ashland, thanks for having me.
Ashlin Harris is the host of Wide Open with Ashland Harris.
You can subscribe and listen anywhere you get your podcasts.
Let's keep the conversation going on social media. You can
find us at Hello Sunshine on ig and hit me
up at Simone Voice. That's my handle on everything. Okay,
(35:20):
listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time,
keep looking on the bright side, y'all. The bright Side
is a production of Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and
is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Simone Boyce.
Production is by ACAST Creative Studios. Our producers are Taylor Williamson,
(35:43):
Adrian Bain, Abby Delk, and Darby Masters. Our production assistant
is Joya Putnoy. Acasts executive producers are Jenny Kaplan and
Emily Rudder. Maureen Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the executive
producers for Hello Sunshine. Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are
the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palazzola is our showrunner.
(36:06):
Our theme song is by Anna Stump and Hamilton Lighthouser.
Today on the bright Side, we're kicking off with a
legendary goalkeeper, World Cup champion, and a woman who inspires
us all to live more unapologetically. Ashland Harris is here, y'all,
and she's opening up about the beauty of embracing the
soft life, the true cost of pursuing greatness, plus the
best gift she's ever received from her partner, Sophia Bush.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I think the bright side is really living life again
and understanding who I am in this new journey, and
learning that I don't have to suffer like I don't
have to put myself in pain to feel alive.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I'm simoone voice, and this is the bright side from
Hell of Sunshine. Let's get into today's guest. Ashland Harris
is a force. You know her as the former goalkeeper
for the US women's national team, a two time World
Cup champion, an Olympian, and a Cocoa Beach, Florida native
who played one of the most pressurized positions in all
(01:02):
of sports. Now, I've dealt with pressure in my own work,
but not like that. So heading into this conversation, I
was really curious what drives someone like that, What makes
a finely tuned machine like Ashland Harris tick. But to
be honest, I quickly realized this wasn't going to be
the conversation that I expected. Ashland is in the middle
(01:25):
of a huge transformation. She is letting go of this
identity that she built up over the course of many
years as an athlete on the world stage. The confidence,
the swagger, the pursuit of greatness, that's all still there.
Her mindset and priorities have shifted, though, and they're still shifting,
so I had to shift too. You're about to hear
(01:47):
the contrast between who Ashland used to be and who
she's becoming. These days. She's all about connection, presence, and peace,
lots of peace, and that piece is even more precious
now after becoming the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny during
a highly publicized divorce. She's a mom of two who
(02:08):
plays hard, a girl after my own heart in that respect.
She's head over heels for her partner, Sophia Bush, and
she's living a life that looks very different from the
one that initially made her famous. But one thing that
hasn't changed is her heart for justice. Ashland is still
showing up for LGBTQ plus rights for mental health and
for equal pay in women's sports, and that unfiltered, soul
(02:31):
led energy is at the heart of her new podcast,
Wide Open. So in sports, that term being wide open
means you're ready for anything. It's literally a chance to
change the game. And that's exactly what she's doing. Through honest,
unfiltered conversations with heavy hitters across sports, fashion, music, entertainment,
Ashland is helping all of us redefine what it means
(02:53):
to win and wherever you are on your own reinvention journey,
I think the lessons she's learning now are things we
can all take with us in our own lives. Ashland,
Welcome to the bright Side.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Thanks for having me. It's good to be here.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, it's so good to have you. You know. I've
run into you a couple of times, both at our
podcast studios and then at events. I don't know if
you remember this, but I remember a conversation that we
had in the bathroom at a Laurel Award show, and
you are wearing this incredible suit and tie and we
kind of got talking about how powerful it feels to
(03:31):
wear suits.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Power suits are everything for me.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
They really are what is it for you? Like, what
is the feeling about wearing a suit and tie that
just like does it for you?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, I would never be caught in address, so we'll
start there, or maybe I would. I don't know. I'm
very open these days for whatever is fashion forward and cheap.
But I just like I feel good in a suit.
I feel comfortable and it's where I feel at my
best to move in the spaces I need to move.
(04:05):
And for me, if I feel good, then I'm like
in a good place to operate as like my full self.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I feel you on that. I feel so much safer
in a suit and so much more comfortable whether it's
suit or pants. But I don't know, it's just it's
like you were saying, like I feel like I can
move around in it a bit better. But for me personally,
when I started wearing ties with a suit, that like
unlocked a new level of confidence for me, and I
(04:35):
was like, Oh, this is what it feels like to
be a powerful man.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And a lot more comfortable. Can you imagine that? Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Exactly. And also what I've realized with ties and suits
is you have so many more possibilities you can mix
and match if you just have the blazer and the
pants and the button down shirt underneath, and then different
ties you can switch them up. I'm like, this is
how men have been dressing for all of eternity. This
is so much easier.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Imagine that the hacks we're not meant for us.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Seriously, but I'm now we're claiming them as are own.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yes we are. I've been in suits for a very
long time. I actually just got another three to the
house today, a custom suit. Chess kiss, chess kiss. When
you saw me, that was an oversized look for me.
I usually when I'm working, I'm like, you could peel
them off my body. But when I'm like chic elegant mode,
(05:37):
I'm okay with like a baggy fun moment. But not
when I work. When I work, I am like tailored
to a.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
T dandy baby, gotta keep a dandy. I know that
you're always telling a story through your fashion choices. What
do you think is the story that you're telling through
your fashion these days?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I think we all should get to a point where
self ex expression is so important and valuable to us individually,
because when you show up to the spaces you want
to show up. It really tells a story about who
you are and why you move the way you do.
So for me be an authentic You know, I really
dress based on my mood for the day. There's not
(06:19):
a real rhyme or reason, and it's just like, if
I'm feeling viby and I'm feeling vibrant, I will be
a lot more colorful. And I think what people neglect
to realize is the way you show up tells a
lot about who you are, whether I'm in front of
(06:41):
the camera or behind it. I dress a certain way
based on how I want people to take me seriously,
and that really matters to me. I'm a very very
professional dresser. I go over the top, but that's just
who I am, And I know we live in a
world where the first thing people are gonna check is
my appearance. So I make sure like I'm very comfortable
(07:05):
and I'm purposeful and all of these things matter because
I walk into important rooms and I want the respect
like I deserve.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So does Ashlyn Harris own a pair of sweatpants? Is
this the thing?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Listen? I could put sweatpants on and have a suit jacket, yeah,
and a button up shirt and a tie with a
pair of like nice penny loafers, and we keep it pushing,
like even now, there's no reason why I need have
dress pants on, dress socks on, and nice shoes you'll
never see them.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
This is how I took my kids to school. Wow, Okay,
so clearly I'm a type B mom. You're type A
mom because what I wear to what I wear to
school drop off could best be described as like goblin
mode goes outside. I do have my moments where I
(07:58):
can I can dress it up a little bit, but
mad respect, mad respect dashlyn.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh yeah, it's a thing. And you know what, like
I dress my kids up for school, and I do
their hair every day, and I do my son's hair,
and like I not that I want them to be superficial,
but like I want them to feel good going to school.
And like, you know, I grew up having hand me
down a lot from my brother, or shopping secondhand or
(08:27):
getting shoes at payless. Yeah, and like I know the
toll it takes on young kids, the bullying when you
come into school. And my clothes were oversized because my
brother was much bigger than I was, And like I
know the toll that took on my self confidence so like,
I don't know if it's more for me and healing
(08:48):
my pain from my childhood, or like, I just don't
want my kids to go through that, and I want
them to, like, you know, feel good when they go
to school and feel that. You know, today my daughter
picked out a beautiful little pink, purple, sparkly dress, and
I have her in some Jordan dunks, or I have
her in some crisp white Chucks, like I just you know,
(09:10):
and I get her a little side, little Hello Kitty
bag that pulls it all together, and it's like it's
fun for us. And I'll do her makeup. I'll do
my son's makeup. They have these little Hello Kitty makeup things,
and I'll paint their nails.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's also just.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Like time to be with my children and show up totally.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
And I think instilling that sense of self expression in
them is so important. I heard somewhere that a mom
telling their daughter that they look beautiful, or telling their
son that they look handsome, or just just gassing up
your kids in that way is so important for them
and it really sticks with them.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, i think it's important for them to love themselves
first and foremost, you know, It's like I have a
mirror that's like right in the doorway in the entryway
and almost like slow and go, look how beautiful you look.
And she's like, oh my god, my hair, my skin.
And now my kids are like on this obsessive they
(10:09):
want tattoos. So I do the little fake tattoos on them,
and we just like we love doing the most. We
definitely don't do the least.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What's your policy on tattoos? When is the age when
you'll give them the green light?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I know what I was like, and I told my
mother at seventeen, you have two options. You can take
me to the tattoo place and sign off on it,
or I'll do it in a garage at a friend's house,
very low sanitary, and I don't know how this is
gonna end up. So we have we can fluctuate because
(10:47):
either way I'm doing it. And that's just kind of
like the mentality I had. I was like, I'm gonna
be real honest with you, Mom. We can either do
this like really professionally or not from then on out.
I am not kidding you. My mom, for every hull,
every birthday, anything was like a gift certificate to my
favorite tattoo shop when I grew up, which was called
(11:07):
against the grain in my town. And she just knew.
She was like, I'm this kid is so wild and reckless,
Like I do not need her getting like prison tattoos.
Like just go here, here's a gift card two hundred bucks.
It'll start you out just fine, Ashland.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
This story reaffirms to me that you did not have
a black mom growing up, because if you had a
black mom like I did, and you gave her those
two options, Mom, you can either drive me to the
tattoo place or I'm gonna go get a tattooed myself.
Do you know I would have gotten my ass whoa whoa.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
My mom, Listen, she she knows I don't mess around,
and she I grew up playing in boys sports and
no one respected or took me seriously.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We'll be back with more after this quick break, and
we're back. So fast forward a few years. You become
a professional soccer player, and I know that the wages
for women, for female athletes aren't anywhere near where they
should be, but I imagine that you started to get
a taste of like what getting money for the first
(12:16):
time could look like. You know like what financial freedom
could possibly look like. So coming from that background, what
was that feeling like of having money for the first time.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Well, I didn't at the beginning of my career. We
just weren't paid very well. And what I knew more
than anyone was to make the most of the situation.
And I hustled. And I learned to hustle at a
very very early age. I mean I remember in middle
(12:48):
school and high school. I used to shoot dice all
the time in school to take people's like lunch money,
And I mean I could get like twenty five bucks
a day just cooking people and shooting dice. So to
give you perspective, I signed my first contract, I think
it was two thousand and nine, was my first professional contract,
(13:12):
and I believe I made twenty thousand dollars or twenty
five thousand dollars for the season. And I was already
playing for the Like I was on the US team.
I was four time All American in high school, like
went to University of North Carolina, won three national championships.
Like I was doing all right. But what I learned
(13:33):
from my background and my upbringing is how to hustle.
And when everyone was so focused on sports and the
game and this and that. I'm like, how am I
gonna make money?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I started hustling with coaching, and I would create like
six person coaching clinics and I would up social media,
came out, people liked the way I look, It mattered
what I said, and I was like, started cooking up
how to be an influencer, how to get brand ambassador deals,
(14:08):
and then I didn't have to rely on the money.
I wasn't clearly being paid and I just started making
a lot of money outside of it.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I know that you love fashion, So do you remember
what was the first big ticket item that you purchased
with your paycheck that you hustled for? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And I still have it because it reminds me every
day of where I came from and where I want
to go. I didn't come from anything. I definitely my
parents were not shopping in department stores and didn't even
know what the hell a department store was. When I
showed up to college, I didn't know a lot of things.
I didn't know really nice brands because that's not the
(14:48):
way my family operated. And one of my roommates and
close teammates came from La. She showed up with these
chic like Chanelle glasses. I don't know what the hell
that was, and these really nice expensive jeens and really
put together and she you know, and a few of
my my teammates had these like nice Michelle watches, which
(15:10):
to me was like a Rolex because didn't even know
what the fucking role X was at the time. When
I got my first paycheck, I went to like Nordstrum
and I bought a Michelle watch and that was It
was literally my entire month's salary and I.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Still have it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
It's like just a sweet reminder of the importance of
like I wanted to do that for myself because I
wanted to fit in, but also to show myself what
is possible. You know, if you work hard enough, you
can buy these things for yourself. And I didn't put
(15:49):
that much like value on it. Besides, it's a reminder
every day of why I do what I do. Yeah,
but it also reminds me of where I've come from
value it holds in my heart. It's bigger and better
than any watch I could ever buy at this point.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I love that I've talked to other olympians and athletes
about the symbolism of winning, So I'd love to ask
you about that. A track athlete once told me that
crossing the finish line there was there was some symbolism
behind that, and that she almost used it as a visualization,
(16:26):
like there was something or someone waiting for her on
the other side as she crossed that finish line. Was
there ever a deeper meaning behind winning for you? What
did winning symbolize for you as an athlete?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I think when we get too caught up in the
winning and the losing part of sports, and we measure
our success based on winning and losing, we're really failing
ourselves in terms of the journey it took to get there.
My worth is not wrapped up in how many things
I've won. Nothing in my house. If you walked into
(17:01):
my house, you would never know I live here. There's
not one jersey on a wall. I have one award
that's like a queer icon award that means the most
to me of like standing up for my community. But
I don't put value on winning or losing, because what
I came to realize is I valued winning so much
(17:25):
that once I won my first World Cup, after it
was over, I was like that's it. I get this little, dainty,
little gold metal that doesn't bring me any joy. It's
actually somewhere collecting dust in a ziploc bag and my closet.
It's just if you put too much into that, you
(17:46):
forget the process and journey that led you to the
moment of greatness. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness.
It's the journey. It's the people, it's the failures, it's
the heart, it's all the shit in between. It's the
little moments. It's not always the big moments that stick
with me the most. So I don't really put too
(18:09):
much hard concrete worth into winning. I think it's a
slippery slope and I know what it's like on the
other side, and like, I put so much into it,
and then once it was over, I got the blues
and I was like, this is it. It's a good
reality check.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I think that's such a refreshing reminder because even if
you're not a professional athlete, I've personally struggled with entangling
my identity with my work. And then when the work
goes away, or when you have kids, for example, and
you have to re examine your relationship with work. Then
it's like, oh, I can't rely on that source of
(18:50):
validation anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, And I think you get to a point where
you realize the more rooms you walk into, no one
gives a shit what you do. People care about how
you make them feel, eat them like. I'm not above anyone.
I'm not above the people that clean floors or serve
me food. Like how I treat people matters, and I'm
not above anyone based on some bullshit trophy of one
(19:15):
here or there.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
When you said pursuit of greatness, that made me think
about Timothy Chalomey's speech at the Sagawards, where he was
very candid about wanting to be one of the greats,
and it really elicited mixed responses from people. Some people
said that he was too brash to do that, some
people celebrated it. Do you think that we should be
(19:39):
more open about our pursuit of greatness? What was your
reaction to his speech.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, I think it's bravery. I think people are too
fearful to say the hard things in case they don't
live up to the expectation. That's the whole point of
the pursuit of greatness. Not everyone is going to make
it to the top. The air is then at the top,
it's hard to survive. At the top, all eyes are
on you, there's more judgment. You know, everyone wants to
(20:05):
be rich and famous until you're famous, and you're like,
I don't want to be famous at all. It's like,
it's an interesting complexity that you know, I respect. Listen,
you know you don't know until you try, and being
bold enough to say I'm on the pursuit of it
holds you accountable. You know, you can't cut corners, can't
(20:27):
expect things just to fall onto your lap. You have
to work for it.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You have to do the.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Shit other people aren't willing to do. There's no secret sauce.
Everyone is so fearful about failing. They push their own
judgment and own expectations on you. So don't you don't
chase the greatness. That's not my burden to carry.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's so true. And I think those projections really come out.
I've really seen them come out whenever I'm making a
big life pivot, whenever I'm in the midst of reinvention.
And I'd love to hear from you, what's the pivot
you're most proud of.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I'm learning and evolving. Every day I'm constantly pivoting. I'm
I'm on this journey of self healing and self discovery
and this like who am I outside of soccer? Who
am I outside of being a mom? And I think
it's such a beautiful, fun challenge. Like I'm so grateful
(21:27):
every day to wake up and be like, hey, I
have another shot at this, because like one thing money
can buy is time and health, and and the fact
that I have that in this moment, I don't want
to waste it. So every day I'm real like I'm
rediscovering something beautiful and something unexpected from very small, minor
(21:49):
things that aren't mind changing, but for me, like I
find beauty and like that's just simple normal things in
life because my life is so big and I'm able
to go to all of these events where we walk
into the bathroom and God knows who's at this lorial event,
but for me and my beauty comes in like very normal,
(22:11):
minimal moments like I love cooking for my family. I
love the chaos of my children running around in the house.
So are my four year old crawling into bed with
me this morning and like trying to peel open my eyes,
like those keep me wanting to be better, better version
(22:32):
of myself for them, for my partner, for my friends,
and for myself. I just hold tight on the things
that matter the most, and that's my partnership and my
children and my family and this life I'm building and
every day it changes.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
What's been the biggest learning for you on this healing journey,
in this journey of self discovery.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Probably just the swings of the good days and the
bad days and finding beauty in both. I think at
the end of my care I was chasing like happiness
and joy, and now that I have tried that and
to reshift my life and my mindset, I am like,
I just want peace. And it's not a place of searching,
(23:16):
it's just a place of being and I just want
to be in peace. And then that started with me,
you know, buying a place in the woods and bringing
my kids and peeling everything away and just playing like
why as an adult, why can't we play. I'm on
that trampline with the kids. I'm rolling around in mud
(23:38):
pits with the kids. I'm making s'mores until my stomach
hurts and I'm bent over Like that to me is
joy and peace instead of chasing this pursuit of excellence
and money. And yeah, like I just I'm good.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
We've got to take a quick break, but we'll be
right back. Welcome back to the show. I admire the
way that you show up in the world, Ashland. You
always show up with a sense of authenticity and vulnerability
that I think is inspiring to a lot of people.
And I think that's why a lot of people are
attracted to you and what you have to say. I
(24:18):
also know that, and you've alluded to this, that you
know it is. It can be toxic being a public
figure right now, and everyone has a microphone, whether they
deserve it or not. And I'm curious if you've ever
felt pressure to maintain a certain image while dealing with
(24:39):
your own humanity behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I don't even think about it, Honestly, I don't even
think about that. I'm living my life every day. I'm
just opening the doors for people to get ten percent
of it, and they think that they know ninety five
percent of it. I live my life to the fullest
through the lens that I think is the best to
(25:03):
help people, help people who struggle, help people who don't
feel like they're valued, and seeing in their home. I
fight for queer rights, I fight for women's rights. I
fight for the rights of women in sports because purpose
matters to me, and every day when I am thinking
(25:26):
of what my why is, it's always to make this
world better for my kids and make sure people who
lived my life don't have to work as hard as
I had to and just be great at their craft.
And that's paying women right, whether it's in sports or
women in this culture period.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
You mentioned your advocacy for female athletes. What do you
think is the next frontier in that conversation, because we've
seen an explosion in audience interest in females over the
last year and a half. But where do you want
to see the conversation go next in terms of how
we advocate for these women.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Pay them what they're worth. You know, before we didn't
have the numbers, we didn't have the resources. We weren't
checking the typical marketing and media standards in terms of output.
How much do you make, how much our ticket sales,
how much our media rights? Now we are so now,
what's the excuse we're still not paying women? It's like
(26:29):
it makes no sense to me. Page backers is still
making eighty thousand dollars a season. What are we talking about?
Like people are like, yeah, the Kaylin Clark makes twenty
five million outside of the WNBA. What about that? Oh,
so we're now normalizing that they can't just be paid adequately.
That now they've got to go work ten other jobs
(26:50):
on the one day off. They have to check all
these sponsors. Most men aren't even rolling out of bed
unless it's a seven figure deal.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
What needs to happen, Like who are the gatekeepers that
need that need to actually change? Like who can we
hold accountable?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That's a great question. You know, visibility is there, which
it's never been. You turn on TV now you can
see women in sports. Now you're realizing, oh wow, everyone
is actually enjoying watching it. But these these TV rights
they have to be substantial, they have to be easily
access because they want to make so much money in
(27:27):
the leagues, they're so fragmented. You know, back in the day,
it was like, oh, let's just sign this massive deal
with T and T, and everyone knew where to find
and where to watch. You know, it really boils down
to streaming. The industry has changed so much it's really difficult.
So everyone kind of is on this roller coaster to
(27:48):
figure out, well, what does this mean and what do
we do next?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Ashlyn and I want to end on a love note.
I want to talk about love. You mentioned that your
partnership with Sophia bush Is is very high priority in
your life. How are you two keeping things interesting? How
are you do you guys have regular date nights? This
is something me and my husband are always trying to
like nail down, like Okay, we got to do a
(28:13):
date night this week, and then life kind of like
gets in the way. So are you too good about that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I think what makes us so great is we're so
vulnerable and open to conversation, Like when one of us
definitely feels like okay, like I miss you, I'm with you,
but it's not like quality time. It's more so like
flying here and schlepping here and events here. Like we
just have really really good communication where we're like, Okay,
(28:40):
let's clear the schedule, let's like have dinner, and even
last night we spoke about it. We're like, we've been
working a lot lately, traveling a lot. We need to
like spend a little bit more quality time doing the
things like we want to do and clear some hours
in the schedule to be spontaneous. Like I miss being
like really spontane. I miss just being like I'm gonna
(29:02):
get in the car and I'm gonna go, like go
here and go for a picnic or go check out
this place. Like I feel like as you get older,
you're so like scheduled and so routine, and I kind
of just want to be like, what about just like
picking up and going somewhere. I do think the key
to us is being really locked and having really good
(29:24):
communication and finding and carving out time where we like
do fun things together, have date nights together, go on
a quick trip together, or like laugh our asses off,
or have a dance party. It doesn't have to be
so extravagant. It's just like a moment to reconnect, and
we value that.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
What's your ideal date night or day date.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I really love cooking. I mean even tonight, I'm gonna
grill some steaks and some chicken and have a glass
of wine and listen to music. And I just like
I love living the simple life because I just haven't
had that and life moves so quick and I really
want to be and be present in these like sweet
(30:10):
little moments that you know, I get to have with
her and we get to watch like these young kids
grow up, and hearing the joy and their laughter and
having a really good time means the world to me.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Are you too a gift giving couple? Do you do
you give each other gifts on holidays and birthdays? Or
gifts a big deal?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I'm an experienced person, Okay, is the best gift giver?
Like it actually stresses me out.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Oh So she's like so good that you feel the
pressure to kind of match her abilities.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, I mean she's so thoughtful, she's so sweet. Like
she's one of those where she'll go, like I don't know,
wherever she needs to go for work or wherever for fun,
and then she's like, oh my god, this is the
perfect gift for Tyler's birthday. And I'm like, awesome, when's
his birthday? Uh, like October? And she will hoard it
(31:03):
and hold it and package it until like each oh
this little clip is this money clip has an a
on it. It would be perfect for so and so,
And I'm just like, you're so thoughtful, Like I do
not think that way. When I'm like walking in and
I'm shopping, I'm like kids partner me.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, So what's the best gift Sophia has ever gotten you?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Honestly, Like I know, it sounds so cheesy, but just
the way she shows up emotionally for me is honestly
the greatest gift. She is such a sweet, genuine soul.
She would like do anything for her people, and I
think that's so admirable for who she is and how
busy she is. She's so thoughtful and is always thinking
(31:49):
about other people, and I just think that's like a
beautiful gift and not many people have it.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, it is okay. One last question for you, Ashlynn.
This is something that we ask all of our guests
here on the bright Side. Tell me about an area
of your life where you have found the bright side,
like an area that was maybe a challenge for you
and recently you found the bright side of it, Or
tell me about an area of your life where you're
currently searching for the bright side.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's a great question. It's interesting, right. I think for me,
I find as a professional athlete, I find so much
that I'm very comfortable and chaos and I'm very comfortable
and suffering and darkness because you have to move differently
(32:36):
to live the life I lived as a professional athlete,
to choose to do it all over and over and
over and wake up every morning and do it again.
I'm learning now that life is so beautiful and life
is so colorful. I'm unlearning a lot of the things
in sport that made me great, but also has it
(32:59):
has made me a machee. And I think the bright
side is I'm experiencing life like truly for the first time.
I'm just like really experiencing life as a thirty nine
year old again. Like I get to go on trips,
I get to do things, and I get to like
(33:20):
be hungover. I mean, imagine that, wow, And like if
I don't want to work out, I don't have shame
and guilt. I don't punish myself. So I think the
bright side is really living life again and understanding who
I am in this new journey and learning that I
don't have to suffer, like I don't have to put
(33:43):
myself in pain to feel alive. That like, there's so
much more beauty out there than how fast you can run,
how hard you can sweat, how sore you can feel.
Like I'm like I'm in a different place in my life.
I did that for far to too long, and I
know the toll it took on me and my mental
(34:04):
health and my body. And now I'm just being a
lot more gentle and kind and loving and moving through
the world with ease and light and really finding like
the bright side of what life can be outside of sport.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Is it fair to say Ashlyn Harris is embracing her
soft life era? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Oh god, yeah, I am such a sap.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I'm really into my feels. I'm having like great conversations.
I'm starting this, you know, new podcast, Wide Open. It's
like I'm really in this gentle side of like connection.
I think with technology we've really lost a lot of
the human element. And my like pursuit of greatness now
(34:49):
is to really just reconnect with people.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yes, soft life, no more suffering. We're not suffering no more.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Okay, no, no, no, no, no no, We're done with that.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yes, Thank you so much, Ashland, thanks for having me.
Ashlin Harris is the host of Wide Open with Ashland Harris.
You can subscribe and listen anywhere you get your podcasts.
Let's keep the conversation going on social media. You can
find us at Hello Sunshine on ig and hit me
up at Simone Voice. That's my handle on everything. Okay,
(35:20):
listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time,
keep looking on the bright side, y'all. The bright Side
is a production of Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and
is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Simone Boyce.
Production is by ACAST Creative Studios. Our producers are Taylor Williamson,
(35:43):
Adrian Bain, Abby Delk, and Darby Masters. Our production assistant
is Joya Putnoy. Acasts executive producers are Jenny Kaplan and
Emily Rudder. Maureen Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the executive
producers for Hello Sunshine. Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are
the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palazzola is our showrunner.
(36:06):
Our theme song is by Anna Stump and Hamilton Lighthouser.
Host
Simone Boyce
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