September 25, 2024 • 33 mins
What is self-reliance? And how can it be used as a tool in the workplace and in life? On today’s Wellness Wednesday segment, global communications strategist and author of “7 Rules of Self-Reliance” Maha Abouelenein breaks down the rules of building self-reliance and puts them into practice for Danielle and Simone.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello Sunshine. Hey, besties.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today on the bright Side, it's Wellness Wednesday, and we're
joined by communications expert, entrepreneur and author of Seven Rules
of Self Reliance Maha Abu Eleanin. She's here to tell
us how self reliance can be a tool for professional
wellness and how we can start creating opportunities to grow
our careers and get closer to achieving our goals. It's Wednesday,
(00:26):
September twenty fifth. I'm Simone Boyce, I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine,
a daily show where we come together to share women's stories,
to laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
All right, besties, Today we're talking all about professional wellness
with strategic communication and personal branding expert Maha Abuelnin. She's
here to share her tips for embracing a growth mindset,
managing your reputation, plus creating and seizing opportunities without waiting
for them to arrive. Danielle her new book lays out
seven rules for self for alliance that she offers up
(01:01):
as tools to get ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You want to hear them? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Okay, so rule number one, stay low, keep moving. Curious
about that one number two, be a value creator that
makes sense. Number three, don't be a waiter. Number four, unlearn, relearn,
and invest in yourself. Number five think of your reputation
as currency. Number six be a long term player. And
(01:27):
number seven live with no regrets.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I'm so curious what she has to say about this,
because the workplace can be tricky. I think it's the
rare occasion where it really feels like the right fit.
I've been in a professional setting for eleven twelve years,
and I have to be honest, Being at Hello Sunshine
(01:54):
is the first time that I feel like I'm not
kind of fitting a circle to a square box, or
a square to a circle hole, whatever the phrase is.
I've always kind of felt like I had to put
a put on or like not show up as my
full self, or I felt so frustrated about office politics.
I actually originally started going to therapy because I felt
(02:17):
so frustrated at work. I didn't feel like I had
the tools to communicate what I was dealing with or
navigate conflict. And so MAHA's work is particularly interesting to me.
I have a lot of personal questions for her, but
there's a story that sticks out to me. One of
the first jobs I ever had, I actually really loved,
and I started there when I was an intern. I
(02:40):
started really young, and I eventually had to quit because
there was no amount of advocating.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
For myself that I could do.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
The higher ups were never going to see me as
anything other than an intern, and so I had to
leave in order to kind of personally rebrand, like Maha
talks about.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And I don't know. I look back on.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That and think, I wonder, if I had the tools
that I have now back then, would I have had
to quit.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I actually do think that you didn't have to quit.
I think that you can stay and stick it out
and you can slowly reinvent yourself in a work setting
like that. However, is it worth it to spend the
time there and invest in that workplace with the hopes
that it's going to pan out and you're going to
advance one day. I don't think so. So I think
(03:29):
you made the right choice by leaving. This reminds me
of this advice that I always heard. When I first
moved to LA someone told me, no one's going to
take you seriously until you're thirty. And I actually think
that that's really true, and.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I wouldn't simone. My mom told me that, yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I would never talk about my age because I, I,
like you, was interning and working in my twenties, and
I would never, you know, volunteer my age because I
didn't want people to know how old I was and
perhaps judge me for being younger.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So that's so relatable.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I think in the workplace, perception is everything, and it's
not just about the work that you do. It's how
you're perceived while you're doing it. And I wish there
were another way, but that's certainly it often feels like
that perception is so limiting and so hard to escape.
So I'm really curious like you to hear what she
(04:25):
has to say about that. I think I dealt with
perception in a different way in a workplace situation. I've
learned that if you're not in a position where you
have your boss's favor, it's time to go. If you've
done all the right things, if you've tried, if you've
(04:47):
put forth an effort, if you have been an all
star employee and you still, for whatever reason, can't earn
that person's favor, I think it's so hard to break
out of that and I've been on both sides of it.
I've been in a position where I did feel like
things were going well for me and I had my
boss's support, and then I've been in positions where I
(05:07):
felt like other people in the office had that and
I was just banging my head against the wall trying
to figure out, Okay, what is it that they have
that I don't, right, And then I just realized that
maybe I was in a position where they couldn't see
my full potential and I had to leave, and it
was on me to show them that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's so relatable.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
It sounds like that's what happened to you as well.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I think most people have an experience like that or
a version of that at some point in their careers,
which is really why I think MAHA's work resonates with people,
because we're all trying to figure this whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It's that, and it's also the fact that Maha has
this personal experience to back it up. So she has
more than three decades of experience in global communications, advising
corporate giants, startups, CEOs, governments, high net worth individuals. She's
also the founder and CEO of Digital and Savvy, which
is a global communication consulting firm and a host of
the business podcast The Savvy Talk, and her debut book
(06:05):
that we mentioned earlier, Seven Rules of Self Reliance, is
out next month on October eighth.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Maha Abu del anin Welcome to the bright Side. Thank
you for having me.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I feel like in your work you're trying to bring
sunshine and happiness to people's lives, particularly in your new book,
Seven Rules of Self Reliance, because you're offering guidance on
how self reliance can be a tool for professional wellness
and building a more sustainable and powerful presence at work,
which to me equals happiness. Because when you have the opposite,
(06:38):
you are one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Stressed out person.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So can you start us off by defining self reliance?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
First of all, I love this question because a lot
of people think self reliance is teaching you how to
be independent, and I'm thinking it's the exact opposite. I
want it to be your superpower. What if you could
rely on yourself to make yourself the most powerful sit
on the planet so you can bring value to other people.
So how do you create value for other people? How
(07:06):
do you get ahead by knowing things? By being a
lifelong learner. How do you hold all the cards in
your hand to be self reliant so that you can
bring value to others? And those cards are skills, experiences,
and relationships.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You make a point in the book to talk about
what isn't self reliance?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Uh huh? I thought that was really helpful. Can you
share that?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
I think you know a lot of people. Being self
reliant means that you don't need help from other people.
Go it alone, don't need help, don't ask for help.
In fact, you do need help from other people. You
just need to have self awareness about what you're capable of,
what are you missing? And then where do you go
get that help? Is it from a person, a network?
Is it something you need to learn? Is it something
you need to acquire? So that's what self reliance is about.
(07:51):
It's about being resourceful and knowing what you know and
what you don't know, and then go get that from
somebody else.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I'm curious, though, why did you choose the term self
reliance if it's really so outwardly focused.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think it's because I've look back in my career.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I've been working for thirty years, I've been an entrepreneur
for twenty years, and a lot of times I got
put in situations where I didn't have the luxury of
somebody helping me.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I had to figure it out on my own.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
And I thought, what's the common theme that's been going
on in every job and every interaction with my family
members or people. It was like I had to really
learn how to rely on myself. And when I did
rely on myself, I was surprised that I actually knew
things I didn't think I was capable of doing. I
actually knew how to bring value to other people. I
knew how to be a super connector with A and B.
(08:39):
I knew how to build my personal brand. I knew
things because I'd never been asked to do them before.
But then when I kind of got tested and my
back was up against the wall, I'm like, you know what,
I can be very powerful if I just tap into myself,
invest in myself, have confidence in myself, trust myself, and
then I could become unstoppable. And it really was the
(09:02):
common theme in my career for the last thirty years.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, we want to go deep on a few rules
from your book that really set out to us. So
Maha let's start with the first rule. Okay, this one
is stay low, keep moving. What does that mean and
what does that look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
So stay low, keep moving is actually a military term
where you're basically on your stomach crouching down so you
don't get hit by arsenal, and I took it as
a metaphor for life. Stay low, put your head down,
put in the hard work. I don't mean low profile.
I mean stay low and focused on your goals. Because
of social media distractions, people doubting you, telling you can't
(09:40):
do it, someone putting an obstacle in your way.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's like sitting in front of your email.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
If you just didn't take inbound emails all day, you're
never going to get your work done right, because those
are other people's priorities coming into your life. The second
thing is keep moving. You're going to have bad days.
There's going to be economic downturns. You're going to get
fired from that job. You're not going to get that
promotion you wanted. Right if you have a bad day,
tomorrow's a day to reset that button. If you can
(10:05):
only give forty percent that day, you gave one hundred
percent of your forty percent and that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Maha.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I'm wondering how you suggest we navigate a work environment
when the work doesn't speak for itself, so when the
relationships or the office politics play a bigger role in
how people are advancing.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
I am a big, big, big proponent of advocating everyone
to build their personal brands, and a lot of people
will say to me, Maha, I'm not a social media influencer,
I don't want to be that, or I'm not a company,
I don't need to build a brand. I want you
to think of the term reputation instead of personal brand.
And don't you want to care about your reputation. So
if you're at work and you're struggling with office politics
(10:47):
or things that are happening at the workplace, you need
to have a strong personal brand. What do people think
about you? What do people say about you? How do
you show up in the world. Are you a collaborator,
a team player, or a problem solver or a listener?
This is that's the reason why you need to be
intentional about building your reputation because I can guarantee you
if you're not doing it, somebody is going to be
doing it for you, and a lot of people think, oh,
(11:09):
I don't want to put my personal life out there.
That's not at all what I'm talking about. I'm talking
about your LinkedIn page, your Instagram page. How you treat
people in real life is actually more important than how
you interact on social media. How do you treat your colleagues,
how do you promote the culture, how do you treat
your team members, how do you treat your barista when
you go to or your coffee. All of that has
(11:31):
to do with how you show up at work, and
all that has to do with your ability to get
that promotion, to get assigned that project that's going to
make you a rock star, and really being intentional about
your brand, your identity, and if even want to leave
that company and go to somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You have to have a good reputation. You have to
find your narrative.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You have to know how you want to show up
in the world and be really, really intentional about it.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
If someone listening is feeling like they're not being recognized,
what are the first one, two, or thre three things
they can do to set themselves apart or make sure
that their work is starting to speak for themselves.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Well a couple things. One is you have to have
good relationships right everything. At the crux of every successful
person at work or even at home is you got
to have good relationships with people. So you have to
invest in what I call making deposits in other people's
trust banks, right, doing good deeds, investing by creating value
for them. If you want to get ahead at work
(12:28):
and you want to like have your work speak for
your self, you have to have a good relationship with
people so you can talk to them about what you're
passionate about. You can share with them the different things
that you're doing at work that you care about. You
can step up and volunteer to contribute on a project
that they're working on, or you can ask them, can
I be a part of this mission because I really
want to spend some time volunteering because I feel like
if I can contribute, you'll see what I'm capable of doing.
(12:50):
So one, you got to really invest in building your
brand too. You have to really invest in developing really
good relationships. It's hard to network today, Like how do
you network through LinkedIn? How do you master the art
of the DM? How do you network through zoom on?
Work calls, you have to think about that. I give
actually a big playbook. There's two of the biggest chapters
(13:11):
in the book have to do with how to do
that networking through social media and DM and how do
you do it at work through Zoom And the second
one is how to build your personal brand online and offline,
because I feel those are the two critical skills that
today you need to know how to master. It's not
a nice to have, it's a must have.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
It's time for a short break, but we'll be right
back with Maha Abu Elanine. And we're back with communications
expert Maha Abu Elanine.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So earlier, Danielle and I were talking about two work
situations that we had experienced earlier on in our careers
where we felt like our personal brands weren't strong enough
to penetrate the perception that other people had of us
in the office.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yep, it's common, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It is common. And in my situation, I'm thinking about
how I've been on both sides of this dynamic where
sometimes in some work situations, you do have your boss's
favor and things go well for you, things go easy
for you, and then sometimes there's a bit steeper of
a curve where like it feels like no matter what
you do, you cannot get in the good graces of
(14:25):
the people who are making the decisions.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I know, my.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Advice in that situation, I'm always like, if you have
tried everything and you're still not in the good graces,
then it's time to go. But I'm curious, from all
your years of expertise, Yeah, what do you recommend people
do in a situation like that.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
I feel like if you feel like you're in someplace
where you're not being valued, I think sometimes it's pretty
obvious to you that might be a time for you
to move on, to go someplace where you are valued
and you are recognized. But I really think allyship can
be a really big tool for people, like having allies
who advocate for you, Like other people can speak on
your behalf, but they have to have your back by
(15:03):
knowing that you've delivered the work, that you've put in
the effort, that you're not asking for favors, that you
are doing it based on merit.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And I feel like.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Allyship is really really important. Do you have allies at work?
Do you have people who you can mentor you do
you have people that can advocate for you, and if
you don't, then maybe you need to spend time developing
those relationships even if you don't need them, because it's
just good to have them in case something happens or
in case you want to advance your career in other areas.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Another aspect of this rule centers around being relentlessly focused
on your goal and setting boundaries. Now, the idea of
setting boundaries in a workplace can be so intimidating because
you feel like if you don't do everything that you're
asked to do, you are you're going to be penalized
for it. Like I can remember talking to a colleague
of mine and we had both sort of recently started
(15:53):
this new job together, and she was like, you know what,
I just know that in my first year here at
this job, my job is to say yes to everything.
That's what I have to do. I have to say
yes to everything. And as I heard her say that,
I was like, Huh, that sounds great, you know, if
I were still in my twenties. But that's not really
a It's not feasible for me, and I don't think
it's feasible for a lot of people to just say
(16:15):
yes to everything. So on the flip side of that,
there's got to be boundaries. How do we go about
setting healthy boundaries at work?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I think the first thing is knowing what you can
and cannot do, and really having good communication lines with
your manager to talk to them about like these are
the things I'm you know, like if you have children
and you have certain hours where you know you can't
be online because you have to do things for your family,
communicate your goals and your needs upfront, but then also
find other ways to contribute and other ways to bring value,
(16:43):
Like I feel like my team members and this is
a theme that we have. You know, performance is the
key to independence. If you perform and you're delivering. I
don't really look at how many hours you're putting in
what time I have a remote organization. I can tell
you what time my team comes online or offline. All
I know is I care about that they get their
work done, that they have the coaching and management support
(17:07):
that they need for things that they need if they
get bottle knocks or they need help with stuff. But
I give them a lot of autonomy to set their schedules,
and I train them and I trust them. I train
them on how to do productivity remotely. I train them
on here's the most efficient way to do things, so
they're not spending the world, so they're not working twenty
four to seven, so they don't have to have those
boundary issues. And I do one on ones with my
(17:28):
team all the time. I have to check in with them,
how are you doing, what's happening at home?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Are things okay?
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Like I don't want to be blindsided that they have
a problem and I wasn't intuitive to their needs of
there's too much on their plate or I'm running them
to the ground, I'm burning them out.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
I really really spend time.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I did that early in my career, Like I was
just like task master, get things done.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I don't care. We just need to deliver results.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
And you end up not even just burning on your people,
you lose them and good people.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
They don't want that. And I don't want to work
for people that are like that either.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
And the number one thing I always look for in
my team members and I look at the boundaries, is
like are they a pleasure to work with? Are they
someone who's capable of managing things under stress? I always
ask my team members, what does it look like when
you're stressed, what drains you? So I know I know
what drains them, so I know when I'm hitting the
threshold of some there's going to be a problem. So
(18:23):
it's over communication with your manager. It's understanding yourself and
articulating your goals and needs to your manager so they know,
and then finding the middle ground when there's something that
might be a conflict to tell them listen, I really
love to be online, but I can't or I can't
deliver this today, but I'll have it to you by tomorrow.
Be clear about your expectations and when you can deliver
on deadlines.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I want to talk about another rule in the book
called don't be a waiter.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I would like to say that I've built my whole
career around this rule. So what does being a waiter
look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Yeah, I mean, this is what happened to me. I
was having tea with a friend and we were talking.
This is about twenty years ago, and he said to me,
he's like, weh, you're a waiter and I'm like what.
I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, you're waiting
for mister Wright. You're waiting for your boss to give
you the promotion. You're waiting for this new miracle thing
to happen so that.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
You can lose weight. You're waiting.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
You're just waiting for things to happen in your life.
And I wasn't unhappy in my life. I was going
to work, seeing friends, I was in my routine, and
then I went home and it sunk into me that
I actually am waiting. I'm just sort of like coasting
through life. I know that there's other things I want
to do. I know I have dreams. I know I
have ambitions, but that's like in the future, that's not now.
I'll just do them later after I do something. And
(19:38):
I stopped myself dead in my tracks and I said,
you know what, there are things I'd like to do,
And instead of waiting for someone to give it to me,
am I capable of creating it myself? And if I'm
not capable, well what am I missing? So people have goals,
and people have an understanding of where they are today.
Are they willing to do the hard work to fill
that gap? What do I need to do to create
(19:59):
that opportunity? Everyone thinks that someone's going to help them
someone's going to decide for them, someone's going to anoint
them the thing that's going to make them the rock star.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I teach you in the book, and this is how
I practice my life, and apparently you have to.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
If you want something, you're actually capable of creating it yourself,
and I inspire you to trust yourself to do it
and to have the confidence to do it.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Okay, So I have a follow up question with that
because I think the rebuttal to what you just said, like,
if anything is going through people's minds, it's okay, yeah,
that sounds great, But what if there are no opportunities
to create something at work? What if my bosses don't
incentivize that or even don't like it. What do you suggest?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
First of all, you have to be an avid listener,
right so to anticipate needs for other people or to
create opportunities, you really got to be making linkages and
thinking all the time. I'm always like thinking, what if
I connected this to this?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Could that might be a potential for that?
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Like, you have to be aware, you have to be
relevant to what's happening in culture. You have to be
listening at work, you have to be listening to the market.
The only way you're going to jump on opportunities or
create opportunities is if you're in tune to what's happening.
These things aren't just going to come to you. You're
going to have to actually do some listening and thinking
(21:17):
and learning. And I find that it's fascinating when you
start to create opportunities for yourself and you're like, oh
my god, I can't believe I actually did that. I
created that from scratch and it actually worked and happened.
It gives you confidence, and then you can do it
again and again, and then I keep thinking, well, what
if I really wanted to work with this client. I
really want to get this client, I need to work
(21:38):
on these three things first before I could even begin
to approach that client. It's always in front of us,
but we just don't take it. We just don't trust ourselves.
And I feel like a lot of people wait from
permission from others to do things and are afraid to
take that step because they're like, oh, who does she
think she is doing that?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Just do it.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You can't believe how rewarding it is inspiring it is
once you do accomplish it.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
So that phrase, who does she think she is? Always
reminds me of this Brene Brown Oprah interview and they
talk about how everybody has one phrase on their shoulders.
On the left, it's who does she think she is?
And on the right it's am I enough? And everybody
usually has one or the other. I think people that
feel the am I enough? Which is I think probably
(22:22):
what I feel. I oscillate between the two. But the
people that feel am I enough? Are thinking this is
scary because of a fear of failure.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, Aaron, if you're in judgment, the people want to
judge people like, I'll be honest with you. I've been
doing communications for Google and Netflix and Deepak Chopra and
Gary Vee and all these incredible names and people and companies,
and I was like, I don't want to go put
myself out there and talk about communications. People are going
to say, Okay, you know, who does she think she is?
Putting quotes out or talking about stuff. But then I
(22:53):
took a seg back. I'm like, you know what, I
have done some pretty incredible things. I shouldn't be afraid
of other people's judgment. I do have value to offer.
I do have unique talents to offer. And it's not
just me. Everyone listening to this right now has the
same set of unique talents and abilities, and they're not
doing it because they're afraid of what people fear of judgment,
(23:14):
fear of failure. And I just want to tell people,
you're overthinking it, and once you do it, you're going
to enjoy it and you're going to say, God, I
wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
You've worked with so many expert communicators, you're an expert
communicator yourself. Is there anything that you think expert communicators
do really well that the average person doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
What's the through line here? I think it's pretty simple.
I think you need to be yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
And I know that authenticity is a big word that
everyone talks about, but it's easy to do it consistently.
Which is another effective way to communicate is if you
are just yourself. Like who I am on social media
is who I am in real life. Who I am
in meetings is who I am with my niece and nephew.
Like everyone, it's the same version of me. And I
(24:02):
don't differentiate between work maha and personal maha because that's
not how we live.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
We are like all in one bucket right now.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
And so I feel like the key to being good
at communications is connecting with your audience and just being yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
That sort of brings us to the final rule that
we're digging into today, which is think about your reputation
as currency. And this one for me is tricky because
I think sometimes it's hard to evaluate your own reputation.
We see ourselves differently than other people see us. Self awareness, Yeah,
(24:37):
how can you evaluate your own reputation?
Speaker 4 (24:39):
The reason why I say think of your reputation as
a currency is I want you to think about what's
its worth, what's its value? How are you investing in
it like you invest in a currency, How are you
building it? How are you protecting it? Your name is
the only thing you actually own?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Ye, right?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I acquired this sweater, I acquired this necklace, these headphones.
I'm born with my name, and my name should be
the most valuable thing I have. It's what brings me
my income, it's what brings me relationships, it's what brings
me business. And so that's when I talk about reputation
as a currency. The steps you need to be taking
a lot of people don't spend a lot of time
(25:16):
thinking about what's my reputation? Ask your friends, like, what
are some words that describe me? And then you should
think okay this Or I asked a bunch of people
what they think of my reputation or how they see me? Now,
how do I want to be seen or how do
I see myself? I met somebody who told me she's
really good at problem solving, but when they come to
(25:37):
big problems at work, they don't come to her, And
so how can she show them Like I like to
get my hands dirty and tackle something and break it
apart and collaborate with other people.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I'm like, you need to ask them if.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
You can work on a big problem at work and
show them like she didn't have that wasn't part of
her reputation at work is that she knows how to
do that. She never got the chance to demonstrate that skill.
So I encouraged her to go in and say, hey,
I see a problem in the company.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I want to give you guys a proactive solution.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
So you need to be forth right, you need to
be proactive about it, and you need to be intentional
about it. A lot of people just assume they have
a name, they have a title, they have a reputation,
it just is. No you can actually work on it,
improve it, build it, grow it through relationships, through your
intentional efforts, either what you do at work, what you
do at home, what you do in your community, what
(26:25):
you do with friends.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And then you can also always get feedback.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
And I feel like the biggest thing that has helped
me even as a leader and a manager at the workplace,
is getting feedback about my management style, about how I
can be a better leader for my team members. Feedback
is hard to listen to. Nobody wants feedback about what
you're not doing well. But I'd rather get it than
be walking around blind and not knowing. Everyone says and
(26:51):
thinks these things about you and you don't know. And
that's why they say feedback is a gift, Like if
you can give some of the gift of giving them
that awareness, then they've helped you. They've helped you so
you don't walk around blind making mistakes, especially if it's
something that you're not aware of.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
So I went in to see and meet a new
executive producer probably six or seven years ago for a
show I really wanted to be a part of, and
she looked at me and she was a straight shooter
and she was from Chicago, which I am too, so
I think she felt a kinship. And she said, listen,
I'm going to give it to you straight. You need
to do one of three things to get on this show.
(27:26):
And she lists them off and she said, and you're
not there yet. So here's my suggestion to you. I
want you to email five to ten people who you
think are really important in your life, who see you,
maybe in different ways, and ask them three questions. The
first is what do you think I'm best at? The
second is what do you think I'm better at than
(27:47):
most people? And three is what do you think my
gifts are? Which are all kind of similar questions. Yeah,
that's good questions, And I want you to see how
they see you so you can start building a brand.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And I thought this was what's the scariest thing the
thing ever? Yeah, because you want to know, but you
don't want to know. But you, guys, we need to know.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
We need to know, and other people are very good
at it. So that's also your competitive pools. Like if
you don't advocate for yourself, who's going to advocate for you?
No one's going to put you the top of your
priority list, like you nobody, not your partner, not your spouse,
not your family. So you need to think about your
name and your reputation and how you want to be
(28:26):
seen in the world. Are you somebody who's kind and
empathetic and is giving and wants to be in that area,
Then you need to focus on showing people those traits
that you have. And I feel like those three questions
are great questions to ask, and a lot of times
we don't want to ask because we don't want to
know the answer.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
So I feel like there are so many tools to
use nowadays with personal branding. There's websites, there's social media,
there's headshots, and I think it can all feel kind
of overwhelming. If you were starting from scratch today, what
would you focus on?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Where would you put your attention? So first I would
do is listen.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Listen first, Like, if you want to build your personal
brand on social media, go and look at other pages.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
What do you like? What do you not admire about
what they do? How they conduct themselves.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Are they somebody who a lot of people do faceless,
They don't have their face and it's just their ideas.
It could be a handwritten note, a screenshot and posting
what they wrote.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
It could be pictures.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
So the first thing you need to do is listen
to what's out there and say, Okay, this feels like me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
What can I do consistently?
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Do I like stake videos, no I am The beginning
was like I don't want to be on camera. I
don't like my hair, I always look fat, I don't
like my makeup, blah blah blah, just all this negative stuff.
So I'm like, I'm going to start building my personal
brand by starting with the podcast one because I love podcasts.
Two my voice is great. You can't see me, you
don't get my hair looks good or bad. And so
(29:50):
you have to do what you are comfortable doing in
a consistent way. So that's the key to sustaining your
personal brand is doing something you can consistently do. So
the first step is figure out what do you want
to talk about? And then who is your audience? Who
are you trying to talk to? Who do you think
you want to influence or inform or inspire or educate?
(30:10):
And then how are you going to do it? Are
you going to do it through LinkedIn, through Instagram? Are
you going to not do social at all, you want
to be a public speaker. Do you want to be
active in your community? Do you want to start a
Facebook group and be active there. I feel like a
lot of people associate personal brand with social media, and
I want to tell you you don't have to do
it on social media. In fact, it's more important how
(30:32):
you treat people, like I said in real.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Life, Maha, thank you so much. We loved having you
on the bright side and thank you for bringing so
much wisdom.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
I enjoyed this so much and I would love to
stay connected with your audience. If anyone has questions, drop
me a DM, drop me a message. I'd love to
answer any questions you guys have about personal branding or
networking or anything that can bring value.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Thanks Maha.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Maha Abu Elnin is the CEO and founder of the
global communications firm Digital Savvy and the author of Seven
Rules of Self Reliance, which is out next month. It's
time for another short break. We'll be right back and
we're back. Before we go, we have a special message
(31:19):
presented by Coliguard. If you listen to us on the show,
you might have heard us say before just how important
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Speaker 3 (31:27):
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Speaker 2 (32:35):
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(32:57):
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Speaker 3 (33:05):
Start taking care of your health today. Ask your healthcare
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Speaker 1 (33:16):
That's it for today's show.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Tomorrow, we're talking to Emmy nominated actor, writer and producer
Natasha Rothwell all about her new Hulu series How To
Die Alone.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect
with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
at the bright Side pod on TikTok, and feel free
to tag us at Simone Voice and at Danielle Robey.
We'll see you tomorrow. Keep looking on the bright side.
Hello Sunshine. Hey, besties.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today on the bright Side, it's Wellness Wednesday, and we're
joined by communications expert, entrepreneur and author of Seven Rules
of Self Reliance Maha Abu Eleanin. She's here to tell
us how self reliance can be a tool for professional
wellness and how we can start creating opportunities to grow
our careers and get closer to achieving our goals. It's Wednesday,
(00:26):
September twenty fifth. I'm Simone Boyce, I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine,
a daily show where we come together to share women's stories,
to laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
All right, besties, Today we're talking all about professional wellness
with strategic communication and personal branding expert Maha Abuelnin. She's
here to share her tips for embracing a growth mindset,
managing your reputation, plus creating and seizing opportunities without waiting
for them to arrive. Danielle her new book lays out
seven rules for self for alliance that she offers up
(01:01):
as tools to get ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You want to hear them? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Okay, so rule number one, stay low, keep moving. Curious
about that one number two, be a value creator that
makes sense. Number three, don't be a waiter. Number four, unlearn, relearn,
and invest in yourself. Number five think of your reputation
as currency. Number six be a long term player. And
(01:27):
number seven live with no regrets.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I'm so curious what she has to say about this,
because the workplace can be tricky. I think it's the
rare occasion where it really feels like the right fit.
I've been in a professional setting for eleven twelve years,
and I have to be honest, Being at Hello Sunshine
(01:54):
is the first time that I feel like I'm not
kind of fitting a circle to a square box, or
a square to a circle hole, whatever the phrase is.
I've always kind of felt like I had to put
a put on or like not show up as my
full self, or I felt so frustrated about office politics.
I actually originally started going to therapy because I felt
(02:17):
so frustrated at work. I didn't feel like I had
the tools to communicate what I was dealing with or
navigate conflict. And so MAHA's work is particularly interesting to me.
I have a lot of personal questions for her, but
there's a story that sticks out to me. One of
the first jobs I ever had, I actually really loved,
and I started there when I was an intern. I
(02:40):
started really young, and I eventually had to quit because
there was no amount of advocating.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
For myself that I could do.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
The higher ups were never going to see me as
anything other than an intern, and so I had to
leave in order to kind of personally rebrand, like Maha
talks about.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And I don't know. I look back on.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That and think, I wonder, if I had the tools
that I have now back then, would I have had
to quit.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I actually do think that you didn't have to quit.
I think that you can stay and stick it out
and you can slowly reinvent yourself in a work setting
like that. However, is it worth it to spend the
time there and invest in that workplace with the hopes
that it's going to pan out and you're going to
advance one day. I don't think so. So I think
(03:29):
you made the right choice by leaving. This reminds me
of this advice that I always heard. When I first
moved to LA someone told me, no one's going to
take you seriously until you're thirty. And I actually think
that that's really true, and.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I wouldn't simone. My mom told me that, yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I would never talk about my age because I, I,
like you, was interning and working in my twenties, and
I would never, you know, volunteer my age because I
didn't want people to know how old I was and
perhaps judge me for being younger.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So that's so relatable.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I think in the workplace, perception is everything, and it's
not just about the work that you do. It's how
you're perceived while you're doing it. And I wish there
were another way, but that's certainly it often feels like
that perception is so limiting and so hard to escape.
So I'm really curious like you to hear what she
(04:25):
has to say about that. I think I dealt with
perception in a different way in a workplace situation. I've
learned that if you're not in a position where you
have your boss's favor, it's time to go. If you've
done all the right things, if you've tried, if you've
(04:47):
put forth an effort, if you have been an all
star employee and you still, for whatever reason, can't earn
that person's favor, I think it's so hard to break
out of that and I've been on both sides of it.
I've been in a position where I did feel like
things were going well for me and I had my
boss's support, and then I've been in positions where I
(05:07):
felt like other people in the office had that and
I was just banging my head against the wall trying
to figure out, Okay, what is it that they have
that I don't, right, And then I just realized that
maybe I was in a position where they couldn't see
my full potential and I had to leave, and it
was on me to show them that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's so relatable.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
It sounds like that's what happened to you as well.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I think most people have an experience like that or
a version of that at some point in their careers,
which is really why I think MAHA's work resonates with people,
because we're all trying to figure this whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It's that, and it's also the fact that Maha has
this personal experience to back it up. So she has
more than three decades of experience in global communications, advising
corporate giants, startups, CEOs, governments, high net worth individuals. She's
also the founder and CEO of Digital and Savvy, which
is a global communication consulting firm and a host of
the business podcast The Savvy Talk, and her debut book
(06:05):
that we mentioned earlier, Seven Rules of Self Reliance, is
out next month on October eighth.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Maha Abu del anin Welcome to the bright Side. Thank
you for having me.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I feel like in your work you're trying to bring
sunshine and happiness to people's lives, particularly in your new book,
Seven Rules of Self Reliance, because you're offering guidance on
how self reliance can be a tool for professional wellness
and building a more sustainable and powerful presence at work,
which to me equals happiness. Because when you have the opposite,
(06:38):
you are one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Stressed out person.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So can you start us off by defining self reliance?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
First of all, I love this question because a lot
of people think self reliance is teaching you how to
be independent, and I'm thinking it's the exact opposite. I
want it to be your superpower. What if you could
rely on yourself to make yourself the most powerful sit
on the planet so you can bring value to other people.
So how do you create value for other people? How
(07:06):
do you get ahead by knowing things? By being a
lifelong learner. How do you hold all the cards in
your hand to be self reliant so that you can
bring value to others? And those cards are skills, experiences,
and relationships.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You make a point in the book to talk about
what isn't self reliance?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Uh huh? I thought that was really helpful. Can you
share that?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
I think you know a lot of people. Being self
reliant means that you don't need help from other people.
Go it alone, don't need help, don't ask for help.
In fact, you do need help from other people. You
just need to have self awareness about what you're capable of,
what are you missing? And then where do you go
get that help? Is it from a person, a network?
Is it something you need to learn? Is it something
you need to acquire? So that's what self reliance is about.
(07:51):
It's about being resourceful and knowing what you know and
what you don't know, and then go get that from
somebody else.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I'm curious, though, why did you choose the term self
reliance if it's really so outwardly focused.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think it's because I've look back in my career.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I've been working for thirty years, I've been an entrepreneur
for twenty years, and a lot of times I got
put in situations where I didn't have the luxury of
somebody helping me.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I had to figure it out on my own.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
And I thought, what's the common theme that's been going
on in every job and every interaction with my family
members or people. It was like I had to really
learn how to rely on myself. And when I did
rely on myself, I was surprised that I actually knew
things I didn't think I was capable of doing. I
actually knew how to bring value to other people. I
knew how to be a super connector with A and B.
(08:39):
I knew how to build my personal brand. I knew
things because I'd never been asked to do them before.
But then when I kind of got tested and my
back was up against the wall, I'm like, you know what,
I can be very powerful if I just tap into myself,
invest in myself, have confidence in myself, trust myself, and
then I could become unstoppable. And it really was the
(09:02):
common theme in my career for the last thirty years.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, we want to go deep on a few rules
from your book that really set out to us. So
Maha let's start with the first rule. Okay, this one
is stay low, keep moving. What does that mean and
what does that look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
So stay low, keep moving is actually a military term
where you're basically on your stomach crouching down so you
don't get hit by arsenal, and I took it as
a metaphor for life. Stay low, put your head down,
put in the hard work. I don't mean low profile.
I mean stay low and focused on your goals. Because
of social media distractions, people doubting you, telling you can't
(09:40):
do it, someone putting an obstacle in your way.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's like sitting in front of your email.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
If you just didn't take inbound emails all day, you're
never going to get your work done right, because those
are other people's priorities coming into your life. The second
thing is keep moving. You're going to have bad days.
There's going to be economic downturns. You're going to get
fired from that job. You're not going to get that
promotion you wanted. Right if you have a bad day,
tomorrow's a day to reset that button. If you can
(10:05):
only give forty percent that day, you gave one hundred
percent of your forty percent and that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Maha.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I'm wondering how you suggest we navigate a work environment
when the work doesn't speak for itself, so when the
relationships or the office politics play a bigger role in
how people are advancing.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
I am a big, big, big proponent of advocating everyone
to build their personal brands, and a lot of people
will say to me, Maha, I'm not a social media influencer,
I don't want to be that, or I'm not a company,
I don't need to build a brand. I want you
to think of the term reputation instead of personal brand.
And don't you want to care about your reputation. So
if you're at work and you're struggling with office politics
(10:47):
or things that are happening at the workplace, you need
to have a strong personal brand. What do people think
about you? What do people say about you? How do
you show up in the world. Are you a collaborator,
a team player, or a problem solver or a listener?
This is that's the reason why you need to be
intentional about building your reputation because I can guarantee you
if you're not doing it, somebody is going to be
doing it for you, and a lot of people think, oh,
(11:09):
I don't want to put my personal life out there.
That's not at all what I'm talking about. I'm talking
about your LinkedIn page, your Instagram page. How you treat
people in real life is actually more important than how
you interact on social media. How do you treat your colleagues,
how do you promote the culture, how do you treat
your team members, how do you treat your barista when
you go to or your coffee. All of that has
(11:31):
to do with how you show up at work, and
all that has to do with your ability to get
that promotion, to get assigned that project that's going to
make you a rock star, and really being intentional about
your brand, your identity, and if even want to leave
that company and go to somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You have to have a good reputation. You have to
find your narrative.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You have to know how you want to show up
in the world and be really, really intentional about it.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
If someone listening is feeling like they're not being recognized,
what are the first one, two, or thre three things
they can do to set themselves apart or make sure
that their work is starting to speak for themselves.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Well a couple things. One is you have to have
good relationships right everything. At the crux of every successful
person at work or even at home is you got
to have good relationships with people. So you have to
invest in what I call making deposits in other people's
trust banks, right, doing good deeds, investing by creating value
for them. If you want to get ahead at work
(12:28):
and you want to like have your work speak for
your self, you have to have a good relationship with
people so you can talk to them about what you're
passionate about. You can share with them the different things
that you're doing at work that you care about. You
can step up and volunteer to contribute on a project
that they're working on, or you can ask them, can
I be a part of this mission because I really
want to spend some time volunteering because I feel like
if I can contribute, you'll see what I'm capable of doing.
(12:50):
So one, you got to really invest in building your
brand too. You have to really invest in developing really
good relationships. It's hard to network today, Like how do
you network through LinkedIn? How do you master the art
of the DM? How do you network through zoom on?
Work calls, you have to think about that. I give
actually a big playbook. There's two of the biggest chapters
(13:11):
in the book have to do with how to do
that networking through social media and DM and how do
you do it at work through Zoom And the second
one is how to build your personal brand online and offline,
because I feel those are the two critical skills that
today you need to know how to master. It's not
a nice to have, it's a must have.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
It's time for a short break, but we'll be right
back with Maha Abu Elanine. And we're back with communications
expert Maha Abu Elanine.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So earlier, Danielle and I were talking about two work
situations that we had experienced earlier on in our careers
where we felt like our personal brands weren't strong enough
to penetrate the perception that other people had of us
in the office.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yep, it's common, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It is common. And in my situation, I'm thinking about
how I've been on both sides of this dynamic where
sometimes in some work situations, you do have your boss's
favor and things go well for you, things go easy
for you, and then sometimes there's a bit steeper of
a curve where like it feels like no matter what
you do, you cannot get in the good graces of
(14:25):
the people who are making the decisions.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I know, my.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Advice in that situation, I'm always like, if you have
tried everything and you're still not in the good graces,
then it's time to go. But I'm curious, from all
your years of expertise, Yeah, what do you recommend people
do in a situation like that.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
I feel like if you feel like you're in someplace
where you're not being valued, I think sometimes it's pretty
obvious to you that might be a time for you
to move on, to go someplace where you are valued
and you are recognized. But I really think allyship can
be a really big tool for people, like having allies
who advocate for you, Like other people can speak on
your behalf, but they have to have your back by
(15:03):
knowing that you've delivered the work, that you've put in
the effort, that you're not asking for favors, that you
are doing it based on merit.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And I feel like.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Allyship is really really important. Do you have allies at work?
Do you have people who you can mentor you do
you have people that can advocate for you, and if
you don't, then maybe you need to spend time developing
those relationships even if you don't need them, because it's
just good to have them in case something happens or
in case you want to advance your career in other areas.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Another aspect of this rule centers around being relentlessly focused
on your goal and setting boundaries. Now, the idea of
setting boundaries in a workplace can be so intimidating because
you feel like if you don't do everything that you're
asked to do, you are you're going to be penalized
for it. Like I can remember talking to a colleague
of mine and we had both sort of recently started
(15:53):
this new job together, and she was like, you know what,
I just know that in my first year here at
this job, my job is to say yes to everything.
That's what I have to do. I have to say
yes to everything. And as I heard her say that,
I was like, Huh, that sounds great, you know, if
I were still in my twenties. But that's not really
a It's not feasible for me, and I don't think
it's feasible for a lot of people to just say
(16:15):
yes to everything. So on the flip side of that,
there's got to be boundaries. How do we go about
setting healthy boundaries at work?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I think the first thing is knowing what you can
and cannot do, and really having good communication lines with
your manager to talk to them about like these are
the things I'm you know, like if you have children
and you have certain hours where you know you can't
be online because you have to do things for your family,
communicate your goals and your needs upfront, but then also
find other ways to contribute and other ways to bring value,
(16:43):
Like I feel like my team members and this is
a theme that we have. You know, performance is the
key to independence. If you perform and you're delivering. I
don't really look at how many hours you're putting in
what time I have a remote organization. I can tell
you what time my team comes online or offline. All
I know is I care about that they get their
work done, that they have the coaching and management support
(17:07):
that they need for things that they need if they
get bottle knocks or they need help with stuff. But
I give them a lot of autonomy to set their schedules,
and I train them and I trust them. I train
them on how to do productivity remotely. I train them
on here's the most efficient way to do things, so
they're not spending the world, so they're not working twenty
four to seven, so they don't have to have those
boundary issues. And I do one on ones with my
(17:28):
team all the time. I have to check in with them,
how are you doing, what's happening at home?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Are things okay?
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Like I don't want to be blindsided that they have
a problem and I wasn't intuitive to their needs of
there's too much on their plate or I'm running them
to the ground, I'm burning them out.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
I really really spend time.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I did that early in my career, Like I was
just like task master, get things done.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I don't care. We just need to deliver results.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
And you end up not even just burning on your people,
you lose them and good people.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
They don't want that. And I don't want to work
for people that are like that either.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
And the number one thing I always look for in
my team members and I look at the boundaries, is
like are they a pleasure to work with? Are they
someone who's capable of managing things under stress? I always
ask my team members, what does it look like when
you're stressed, what drains you? So I know I know
what drains them, so I know when I'm hitting the
threshold of some there's going to be a problem. So
(18:23):
it's over communication with your manager. It's understanding yourself and
articulating your goals and needs to your manager so they know,
and then finding the middle ground when there's something that
might be a conflict to tell them listen, I really
love to be online, but I can't or I can't
deliver this today, but I'll have it to you by tomorrow.
Be clear about your expectations and when you can deliver
on deadlines.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I want to talk about another rule in the book
called don't be a waiter.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I would like to say that I've built my whole
career around this rule. So what does being a waiter
look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Yeah, I mean, this is what happened to me. I
was having tea with a friend and we were talking.
This is about twenty years ago, and he said to me,
he's like, weh, you're a waiter and I'm like what.
I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, you're waiting
for mister Wright. You're waiting for your boss to give
you the promotion. You're waiting for this new miracle thing
to happen so that.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
You can lose weight. You're waiting.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
You're just waiting for things to happen in your life.
And I wasn't unhappy in my life. I was going
to work, seeing friends, I was in my routine, and
then I went home and it sunk into me that
I actually am waiting. I'm just sort of like coasting
through life. I know that there's other things I want
to do. I know I have dreams. I know I
have ambitions, but that's like in the future, that's not now.
I'll just do them later after I do something. And
(19:38):
I stopped myself dead in my tracks and I said,
you know what, there are things I'd like to do,
And instead of waiting for someone to give it to me,
am I capable of creating it myself? And if I'm
not capable, well what am I missing? So people have goals,
and people have an understanding of where they are today.
Are they willing to do the hard work to fill
that gap? What do I need to do to create
(19:59):
that opportunity? Everyone thinks that someone's going to help them
someone's going to decide for them, someone's going to anoint
them the thing that's going to make them the rock star.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I teach you in the book, and this is how
I practice my life, and apparently you have to.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
If you want something, you're actually capable of creating it yourself,
and I inspire you to trust yourself to do it
and to have the confidence to do it.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Okay, So I have a follow up question with that
because I think the rebuttal to what you just said, like,
if anything is going through people's minds, it's okay, yeah,
that sounds great, But what if there are no opportunities
to create something at work? What if my bosses don't
incentivize that or even don't like it. What do you suggest?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
First of all, you have to be an avid listener,
right so to anticipate needs for other people or to
create opportunities, you really got to be making linkages and
thinking all the time. I'm always like thinking, what if
I connected this to this?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Could that might be a potential for that?
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Like, you have to be aware, you have to be
relevant to what's happening in culture. You have to be
listening at work, you have to be listening to the market.
The only way you're going to jump on opportunities or
create opportunities is if you're in tune to what's happening.
These things aren't just going to come to you. You're
going to have to actually do some listening and thinking
(21:17):
and learning. And I find that it's fascinating when you
start to create opportunities for yourself and you're like, oh
my god, I can't believe I actually did that. I
created that from scratch and it actually worked and happened.
It gives you confidence, and then you can do it
again and again, and then I keep thinking, well, what
if I really wanted to work with this client. I
really want to get this client, I need to work
(21:38):
on these three things first before I could even begin
to approach that client. It's always in front of us,
but we just don't take it. We just don't trust ourselves.
And I feel like a lot of people wait from
permission from others to do things and are afraid to
take that step because they're like, oh, who does she
think she is doing that?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Just do it.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You can't believe how rewarding it is inspiring it is
once you do accomplish it.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
So that phrase, who does she think she is? Always
reminds me of this Brene Brown Oprah interview and they
talk about how everybody has one phrase on their shoulders.
On the left, it's who does she think she is?
And on the right it's am I enough? And everybody
usually has one or the other. I think people that
feel the am I enough? Which is I think probably
(22:22):
what I feel. I oscillate between the two. But the
people that feel am I enough? Are thinking this is
scary because of a fear of failure.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, Aaron, if you're in judgment, the people want to
judge people like, I'll be honest with you. I've been
doing communications for Google and Netflix and Deepak Chopra and
Gary Vee and all these incredible names and people and companies,
and I was like, I don't want to go put
myself out there and talk about communications. People are going
to say, Okay, you know, who does she think she is?
Putting quotes out or talking about stuff. But then I
(22:53):
took a seg back. I'm like, you know what, I
have done some pretty incredible things. I shouldn't be afraid
of other people's judgment. I do have value to offer.
I do have unique talents to offer. And it's not
just me. Everyone listening to this right now has the
same set of unique talents and abilities, and they're not
doing it because they're afraid of what people fear of judgment,
(23:14):
fear of failure. And I just want to tell people,
you're overthinking it, and once you do it, you're going
to enjoy it and you're going to say, God, I
wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
You've worked with so many expert communicators, you're an expert
communicator yourself. Is there anything that you think expert communicators
do really well that the average person doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
What's the through line here? I think it's pretty simple.
I think you need to be yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
And I know that authenticity is a big word that
everyone talks about, but it's easy to do it consistently.
Which is another effective way to communicate is if you
are just yourself. Like who I am on social media
is who I am in real life. Who I am
in meetings is who I am with my niece and nephew.
Like everyone, it's the same version of me. And I
(24:02):
don't differentiate between work maha and personal maha because that's
not how we live.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
We are like all in one bucket right now.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
And so I feel like the key to being good
at communications is connecting with your audience and just being yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
That sort of brings us to the final rule that
we're digging into today, which is think about your reputation
as currency. And this one for me is tricky because
I think sometimes it's hard to evaluate your own reputation.
We see ourselves differently than other people see us. Self awareness, Yeah,
(24:37):
how can you evaluate your own reputation?
Speaker 4 (24:39):
The reason why I say think of your reputation as
a currency is I want you to think about what's
its worth, what's its value? How are you investing in
it like you invest in a currency, How are you
building it? How are you protecting it? Your name is
the only thing you actually own?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Ye, right?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I acquired this sweater, I acquired this necklace, these headphones.
I'm born with my name, and my name should be
the most valuable thing I have. It's what brings me
my income, it's what brings me relationships, it's what brings
me business. And so that's when I talk about reputation
as a currency. The steps you need to be taking
a lot of people don't spend a lot of time
(25:16):
thinking about what's my reputation? Ask your friends, like, what
are some words that describe me? And then you should
think okay this Or I asked a bunch of people
what they think of my reputation or how they see me? Now,
how do I want to be seen or how do
I see myself? I met somebody who told me she's
really good at problem solving, but when they come to
(25:37):
big problems at work, they don't come to her, And
so how can she show them Like I like to
get my hands dirty and tackle something and break it
apart and collaborate with other people.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I'm like, you need to ask them if.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
You can work on a big problem at work and
show them like she didn't have that wasn't part of
her reputation at work is that she knows how to
do that. She never got the chance to demonstrate that skill.
So I encouraged her to go in and say, hey,
I see a problem in the company.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I want to give you guys a proactive solution.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
So you need to be forth right, you need to
be proactive about it, and you need to be intentional
about it. A lot of people just assume they have
a name, they have a title, they have a reputation,
it just is. No you can actually work on it,
improve it, build it, grow it through relationships, through your
intentional efforts, either what you do at work, what you
do at home, what you do in your community, what
(26:25):
you do with friends.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And then you can also always get feedback.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
And I feel like the biggest thing that has helped
me even as a leader and a manager at the workplace,
is getting feedback about my management style, about how I
can be a better leader for my team members. Feedback
is hard to listen to. Nobody wants feedback about what
you're not doing well. But I'd rather get it than
be walking around blind and not knowing. Everyone says and
(26:51):
thinks these things about you and you don't know. And
that's why they say feedback is a gift, Like if
you can give some of the gift of giving them
that awareness, then they've helped you. They've helped you so
you don't walk around blind making mistakes, especially if it's
something that you're not aware of.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
So I went in to see and meet a new
executive producer probably six or seven years ago for a
show I really wanted to be a part of, and
she looked at me and she was a straight shooter
and she was from Chicago, which I am too, so
I think she felt a kinship. And she said, listen,
I'm going to give it to you straight. You need
to do one of three things to get on this show.
(27:26):
And she lists them off and she said, and you're
not there yet. So here's my suggestion to you. I
want you to email five to ten people who you
think are really important in your life, who see you,
maybe in different ways, and ask them three questions. The
first is what do you think I'm best at? The
second is what do you think I'm better at than
(27:47):
most people? And three is what do you think my
gifts are? Which are all kind of similar questions. Yeah,
that's good questions, And I want you to see how
they see you so you can start building a brand.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And I thought this was what's the scariest thing the
thing ever? Yeah, because you want to know, but you
don't want to know. But you, guys, we need to know.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
We need to know, and other people are very good
at it. So that's also your competitive pools. Like if
you don't advocate for yourself, who's going to advocate for you?
No one's going to put you the top of your
priority list, like you nobody, not your partner, not your spouse,
not your family. So you need to think about your
name and your reputation and how you want to be
(28:26):
seen in the world. Are you somebody who's kind and
empathetic and is giving and wants to be in that area,
Then you need to focus on showing people those traits
that you have. And I feel like those three questions
are great questions to ask, and a lot of times
we don't want to ask because we don't want to
know the answer.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
So I feel like there are so many tools to
use nowadays with personal branding. There's websites, there's social media,
there's headshots, and I think it can all feel kind
of overwhelming. If you were starting from scratch today, what
would you focus on?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Where would you put your attention? So first I would
do is listen.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Listen first, Like, if you want to build your personal
brand on social media, go and look at other pages.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
What do you like? What do you not admire about
what they do? How they conduct themselves.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Are they somebody who a lot of people do faceless,
They don't have their face and it's just their ideas.
It could be a handwritten note, a screenshot and posting
what they wrote.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
It could be pictures.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
So the first thing you need to do is listen
to what's out there and say, Okay, this feels like me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
What can I do consistently?
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Do I like stake videos, no I am The beginning
was like I don't want to be on camera. I
don't like my hair, I always look fat, I don't
like my makeup, blah blah blah, just all this negative stuff.
So I'm like, I'm going to start building my personal
brand by starting with the podcast one because I love podcasts.
Two my voice is great. You can't see me, you
don't get my hair looks good or bad. And so
(29:50):
you have to do what you are comfortable doing in
a consistent way. So that's the key to sustaining your
personal brand is doing something you can consistently do. So
the first step is figure out what do you want
to talk about? And then who is your audience? Who
are you trying to talk to? Who do you think
you want to influence or inform or inspire or educate?
(30:10):
And then how are you going to do it? Are
you going to do it through LinkedIn, through Instagram? Are
you going to not do social at all, you want
to be a public speaker. Do you want to be
active in your community? Do you want to start a
Facebook group and be active there. I feel like a
lot of people associate personal brand with social media, and
I want to tell you you don't have to do
it on social media. In fact, it's more important how
(30:32):
you treat people, like I said in real.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Life, Maha, thank you so much. We loved having you
on the bright side and thank you for bringing so
much wisdom.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
I enjoyed this so much and I would love to
stay connected with your audience. If anyone has questions, drop
me a DM, drop me a message. I'd love to
answer any questions you guys have about personal branding or
networking or anything that can bring value.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Thanks Maha.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Maha Abu Elnin is the CEO and founder of the
global communications firm Digital Savvy and the author of Seven
Rules of Self Reliance, which is out next month. It's
time for another short break. We'll be right back and
we're back. Before we go, we have a special message
(31:19):
presented by Coliguard. If you listen to us on the show,
you might have heard us say before just how important
it is to screen for colon cancer.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yes, I have friends who have been diagnosed with colon
cancer and caught it early, so it's also personal to me. Today,
we want to clear up a few more misconceptions about
the process with the help of our friends at Exact Sciences,
makers of the Coligard test.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
For example, you might think the Coliguard test won't find
pre cancer, but the Coligard test can detect pre cancerous
polyps that grow on the wall of the colon and
may develop into cancer. Screening for colon cancer helps ensure
you can address any issues now before they become more
serious if left untreated.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Some people worry that if you need a follow up colonoscopy,
you'll get charged. The truth is most insured patients pay
nothing if follow up care is needed. It's usually covered
by insurance. If you are forty five years or older
at average risk, you may be eligible to screen at
home on your own schedule with the Coligard test. The
Coligard test is an easy to use at home way
(32:20):
to screen for colon cancer. If you're forty five or
older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about
screening for colon cancer with the Coliargard test. You can
also request a Coliguard prescription through a telehealth provider today
at coliguard dot com, slash podcast.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
The Coligard test is intended to screen adults forty five
and older at average risk for colarectal cancer. Do not
use a Coligard test if you've had adenomas, have inflammatory
ball disease, and certain hereditary syndromes, or a personal or
family history of colorectal cancer. The Coligard test is not
a replacement for colonoscopy and high risk patients. Coligard test
performance in adults ages forty five to forty nine is
(32:57):
estimated based on a large clinical study of patients fifth
dean older. False positives and false negatives can occur. Colguard
is available by prescription only.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Start taking care of your health today. Ask your healthcare
provider about screening for colon cancer with the Colliguard test.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
That's it for today's show.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Tomorrow, we're talking to Emmy nominated actor, writer and producer
Natasha Rothwell all about her new Hulu series How To
Die Alone.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect
with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
at the bright Side pod on TikTok, and feel free
to tag us at Simone Voice and at Danielle Robey.
We'll see you tomorrow. Keep looking on the bright side.
Host
Simone Boyce
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