Condola Rashad

Carlos talks to American actress Condola Rashad about how she first got into acting, her experience on the Showtime series, Billions and her experience with meditation.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Condola Rashad was born in New York City and has
been taking the theater world by storm. She made her
debut in the off Broadway play Ruined and has continued
to grace the theater stage. The Tony Award nominated actress
has been a part of productions for Stick by St
Joan and Romeo and Juliet. On this episode of The
Carlos Watson Show podcast, Condola Rashad reflects on how she

(00:25):
first got into acting, her experience on the Showtime series Billions,
and her experience with meditation. Candola, Hi, how are you good?
How are you? I'm really good? Thanks? Am I pronouncing

(00:46):
your name correct? You are? And that is? That is?
That's like a real feat because no long the people
don't get it right away. Now where does the name
come from? I could guess, but I'd love to hear.
It was my grandmother's name, so it's a family name.
Oh and so what did they call you growing up?
Did they call you that or did they give you
a nickname? So basically my name is Condola Felia Rashad,

(01:07):
and so um growing up everybody called me Felia actually,
so basically until I was like twenty, no up, until
when I went to college when I was like eighteen,
people called me Felia, but I um I started going
by Condola only because professionally, Filia is very close to Felicia.
So I was like, people are gonna get confused, so
right right, it's so funny. I I'm called by a

(01:27):
family name from Zimbabwe, and that's what I was called
most That's what I was called growing up. And then uh,
when I was seven years old, I was taken to
a new school and I was being walked around the
school and the woman said, what do you want to
be called? And I thought, what about that name they
called me the first day of school every year, Carlos.
I just wonder what I thought. I was only gonna

(01:48):
be here for ten minutes with her. I was like,
how cool would that be to be called Carlos for
ten minutes? And it ended up being the rest of
my life. So I ended up switching for the rest
of my life. So get it names different names. Where
did you grow up? Did you grow up in New York?
Or I did? I grew up here in New York? Yeah,
I'm in New York right now. I'm at my mother's ay,
But I grew up in Mount Vernon, New York. Oh,

(02:10):
your money are in Mount Vernon. I like that. I
love that. I love that. And then I see all
the books behind you, and I'm one of those people
where if if I was there with you, I'd be
looking at your books. I love looking at people's books
and what they have and what they've read, what they
did read, and what's like kind of worn out a
little bit, and not are you a book reader? Or

(02:31):
is your mother I won't be honest. I'm actually in
my mother's office right now, so they're all her book
But yes, it's funny that you mentioned that too, because
just recently, I was saying to a friend of mine, I,
in the past like a couple of months, have not
been reading as much as I normally do. So I've
been like, I need it, I need like book, I
need like recommendations. I need to like get back to

(02:53):
my reading because normally we quite a bit. Are you
a novel or nonfiction or biography or what do you like?
I like novels. I love novels. I like suspense, I
like um like psychological thrillers. Recently, though most of my
reading has been UM, I kind of have been utilizing
the time that I do read to work on my
Italian because I'm fluent in Italian now so um, it

(03:16):
took me a while to get that way. So now um,
in order to maintain that, I still try to practice
about an hour and a half a day for the
most part. Um. And so now one of the ways
that I do that is I just like there's a
there's a book story in the city that sells books
and Italians, So I just read whatever I confiance in Italian.
So that's that's how I've been utilized my time. But
now I need to also read some other books in English.

(03:37):
Do you dream in Italian yet or no? I've had
a few dreams in Italian. Yes, I've had a few
dreams for Italian steeped in which has been really really cool.
Um but yeah, yeah. My best friend's uh mom was
families from Cuba, and she used to always say that
you really learn another language when you dream in it.
That was her litmus test for when you crossed over

(03:58):
and you were really fluent, is when you dreamed it it,
which sadly I never have. But uh, but uh and
why Italian? What brought you to Italian? So? Uh? I
have a very strange connection with Italy. UM. When I went,
I went for the first time. I was about nine
years old. UM. I was with my family. It was
my aunt and we were in the first place I

(04:20):
went to was a Positano on the Mulfi coast and uh,
that's one of the most beautiful places in the world.
It is, and it was around the time when I
was younger, it had it wasn't quite as as well
known as it is now. So when I when it
was actually quite quiet when I went. But I had
a very strange experience and even as a young person,
I didn't really have the words for it, which was
I felt like I had been there before. I felt

(04:43):
like very much at home. It didn't feel and I UM,
I was very fortunate as a young person to have
the privilege of being able to travel quite a bit
with my mother, which I'm very very grateful for. But um,
I had been to many other places that I liked
that thought was so great, But Italy was different. It
didn't feel like a place that I that was foreign
that I that I liked. It actually just felt like

(05:05):
home like it actually even the language felt familiar to me.
It was very strange. So um, yeah, so I had
this very even as a young person, I had this
connection to Italy. So it took me many years to
go back. I went the next one when I was ten,
and then it took me and when I was in
high school, you know, I didn't get to come back.

(05:26):
And then after I graduated from college, I was working
in the theater and I didn't for many years have
the funds to just like go on a vacation in Italy.
So I just didn't go back. So finally in two
thousand and eighteen, um, I did this whole trip during
this Broadway production of St. Joan that I did. I
went to France first, and I did a whole like

(05:46):
a couple of weeks in France, and then I decided
to go back to Italy. And I remember thinking on
the plane like, Okay, let's see, maybe I just was
a kid. Maybe that was just a really like a
random feeling. As soon as the plane landed, I felt
it again. I was like, yo, what is this like?
I felt this feeling like I'm home and made it back.
It's so strange. I know, it sounds so strange, but

(06:06):
so then I said okay, So then after that summer,
I really decided to just to just go in. I
think a lot of people um in their adulthood have
this dream of wanting to learn a language, but there's
this false notion that it's too late, Like is there's
this weird understanding like, well, it's much easier to learn
when you're a kid. That might be true, but I'm

(06:26):
a testament you can absolutely become fluent in the language
as an adult. All you have to do is give
it a certain amount of time every single day. If
you can do that, you can you can learn a language,
you know. So I just decided that I that I
was going to learn it as if it was a
part of my job, because I decided that one day
I would utilize it as a part of my job.
And and so I just kind of went in. And

(06:47):
then for the past, let's see, what was it Like,
I started dabbling in two thousand and fifteen, two thousand
and sixteen before I went. But then when I went,
I went Ham, I got back, I got a teacher
and classes, like it was serious. So yeah, and then
after that I started going to Italy, like every maybe
four months, I would go to a different region just
to kind of get more accustomed to being surrounded by

(07:08):
the language and making friends and kind of having a
little bit of a foundation there, and and the pandemic happened.
So I have not been back. Um, I haven't been
back since maybe a right before the pandemic hit. When
when the pandemic Italy, I was actually in Italy. Uh
those two weeks right before it hit it hit, I
was there. So it's very strange when I got back

(07:31):
because I had just been there, and then the next
thing I knew, I came back in a week later.
My friends were calling me like, you'll tell your friends
to go inside. It's not it's serious, because we hadn't
it hadn't hit here yet, so I felt like I
had been in the time workout. I was like, wait,
I don't know what to do. My friends are telling
me what's happening over there, and I don't know how
to give people to believe me here and those nuts.
But all that to say, yes, that's my Italian story. Well,

(07:54):
I love that Italian story, and I love Italy, and
I've gotten to go a few times, and I do
think that the Multi Coast maybe one of the three
or four most beautiful places I've seen, and I will
not argue that. Yeah, now where else do you love
in Italy? Because it sounds like you have sampled nicely
and widely. Yes, yes, yes, the Amopti coast is definitely
like my that's a that's a dream of mine. But

(08:15):
the let's see, the last time that I went, I
really love Florence. Um. I have a lot of friends
in Florence. Um, and so for that reason, I really
love Flance. But also, um, the Polio region. Yeah, it's
beautiful and it's also like a little don't get me wrong.
I mean there are tourists everywhere all the time, but

(08:35):
I would say in certain parts of Pulia, you can
really get to a place where you're like, well, I
feel like I'm just surrounded by Italian speaking people. Was
really cool. Well, and now are you now fluent enough
that you are able to interact easily and well with people? Yeah,
that must be a different experience. I've gotten to travel
a lot, but I've never gotten good enough at a

(08:56):
language where I've been in a non English speaking country
where you really could go in like that, and I, uh, yeah,
I think that would be nice. I'd probably be a
different dimension. Yeah, it's really fun and I really recommend it.
I recommend it to anybody who thinks that they can't
do it to just try. If you have any language
that you're passionate about or you've always want to, like,

(09:16):
just just see what happens. Just dive in. Because what
it does is it, like you said, it opens up
a whole portal to another universe. Like I now have
a whole like network of friends that I wouldn't have
had had I not learn language because some of my
friends don't speak English. Well you know. I also I've
had friends tell me before, like I have a friend
who's Vietnamese who says that he speaks Vietnamese, French, and English,

(09:40):
and he says he has different personalities in different senses
of humor in each language. Yeah, yeah, which I think
is interesting to Yeah. Yeah, definitely. My life is I
definitely do like to say that I kind of have
a little bit of a double life. Like my my
lifestyle when in Italy is a little bit different, and
it's just I'm not doing anything on perp Is. It's

(10:00):
just the energy there and the way that my energy
blends with that energy is just different. Like the way
that I walked on the street is different. The way
that I interact with people is different because the way
that they interact with me is different. Culturally. Uh, there's
a level of openness in Italy, so there's a level
of like, like I can like, I pretty much make
at least three or four friends a day whenever I'm there,

(10:22):
just because the culture is so open in that way,
I can just I mean some money and the next
thing I know, a year later, I'm still friends with them.
And I met them at the coffee shop and now
we're friends. So this is the way it goes. That
is that's kind of nice, and it is interesting when
you feel warmly received in a place. There are certain
homes growing up. My mom was one of seven, my

(10:42):
dad was one of six, but among all the aunts
and uncles, there were certain homes that were warm, homes
that people were excited to go, and there were certain
homes that were maybe not as thrilling. And those homes
where you were excited to walk through the door, there
was a different feeling and you could now that you
say that kids behave differently uh in those spaces than

(11:03):
they did elsewhere, So it could be it could be nice. Um, So, now,
are you a mama's girl, daddy's girl, or a little
bit of both. I would see a little bit of both.
But I'm definitely a daddy's girl, are you? Are you?
I met your dad way back when he and I
both were having a hip thing at the same time,
and we were at the same doctor in New York.

(11:25):
That I always uh. I always enjoyed him kind of
going way back, and so it was nice. I was
the one time I got to say hello to him.
But but but I love hearing that you're a daddy's
girl for some reason, because I know that you spend
so much good time with your mom and uh and
uh um. I thought you might be. But but you
say daddy's girl. Why daddy's girl. I don't know. It's

(11:46):
just it's just he's always just been my big giant
hero since I was a little girl. It's just the dynamic.
But I definitely am a mama's girl too. It's both.
It's just yeah, it's just a different dynamic. You have
brothers and sisters. Are you an only child? Okay, yeah,
I have have. I had a bunch of brothers, sister.
I actually was just that my my brother Jamale just
got married. So I just saw the first time. I

(12:07):
just saw, Oh nice in New Yorker. Where was the wedding?
It was in San Diego. You know what, San Diego
is really nice right now. I was actually just down
there for something and it is. It's one of those
places that has a nice vibe in a nice field
to it. Totally. It was my first time released. I've
never really spent time down there since my first time.

(12:27):
Don So, how did you get into acting? I mean,
I can't assume, but I don't want to assume. I

(12:49):
can assume and see your mom and see, By the way,
do you know that your aunt has been on the show?
I didn't know she she is. She was on the show.
We had such a nice time. She was telling me
all about your grandmother and all the interesting history and
living in Mexico and spending time in the Middle East
and kind of her own journey. And I really I

(13:10):
really learned a lot and enjoyed being with her. Um So,
I think this is the first time I've had family members.
So I'm gonna have to send her note and tell
her and tell her that we've won uped uh that
we went up to her. Well, you know honestly ever
since I was I've been an artist since I I
can't remember remember, since I was a child of an artist.

(13:31):
And I will say that in my family, we've noticed
it and it's just something that we don't really have
an explanation for. But basically, like anybody that's come from
my grandmother in any shape or form, has some form
of artistry expression like literally like like even niece's nephew,
So everybody has some form of expression of artichry. If

(13:53):
you came from her, she was the first. Everybody that
came from her has some form. And she was she
she was a dancer. Yes, she is a writer, poet, Yeah,
poet and so and I'm also a musician and so yeah.
Between my aunt, you know, she's a choreographer and she's

(14:14):
an actor and a sayer. And then my uncle Olie's
a jazz musician, and my mother and me and my
cousin and my my nieces and everybody has something that
comes out. It's just it's it's it lives in our
d n a. I will say it is a family
of artists, and it's genuine. There's never um There's never
been one of us that has um entered into the

(14:35):
work of being an artist because it's what we do.
It genuinely just comes from us, and it's it's um.
We're very fortunate because I'll say, I'll speaking for myself,
I'm very fortunate because growing up as an artist, being
surrounded by artists, I felt very um supported and I
was living in a space that was cultivating my artistry, um,
which a lot of artists, you know, they don't have

(14:57):
that that There's a lot of time they have to
kind of, you know, fight a little bit because i mean,
you know, some families don't understand that path and it's
not the most stable path all the time. And so
so I'm very fortunate to have been surrounded by that
world as a young person. But when I was growing up,
aside from it just being my expression, um, my mother

(15:20):
took me everywhere that she went, Like so when she
was in rehearsals, she brought me and I was able
to actually go and see her in her artistry and
see her in her work ethic and that was something
as a young person that inspired me and I was
able to really get a sense of what that dedication was.

(15:45):
So it wasn't just about the the glitz and the
glamour that comes along with what we do. Often it
was about the work itself. It has always been about
the work in my family. So that's what's always kind
of at that, That's what's always been the drive for me.
Were you always slated to be an actor when it

(16:05):
comes to being an artist or were there other parts
to your do your artistry? Oh? Yeah, definitely and still are.
I mean, I actually still consider myself a musician who acts.
I trained classically in the piano. I don't play classical anymore,
but that's how I trained. Um, and I'm a singer songwriter.
That's actually the first that would be my first expression.
So even when I went to college for acting, UM,

(16:26):
my siblings were actually surprised because they were so sure
that I was going to go for music because that's
actually what they knew me to be. UM. So yeah,
and then the acting actually came a little bit later.
I mean, I I did some you know, I did
some plays in high school and middle school, but it
was not I wouldn't have called myself a thespian in
high school. I wasn't like part of the drama club
or anything like that. I was actually more so playing

(16:48):
classical piano and and so right out of college, were
you looking for music opportunities, were you looking for acting
opportunities or both? Well, Actually, just the way that it
happened was the music is just always there, So I
already knew that was always going to be a part
of my existence. So even with this EP that I
put out last year, which I'm working on part two
of right now. But um, when I graduated from college,

(17:09):
kind of the way it worked out was, I, Um,
I was very fortunate and I got an agent for
acting pretty much right away, and then maybe about a
month and a half after that, it just so happened
that I landed my first gig, which was ruined um
to play by knowledge, and then it just kind of
took off that everything was kind of moved in that direction. Um.

(17:30):
So when I in two thousand and twelve, two dozen thirteen,
I finally had a dream come true of mine, which
as I started a band which was really really fun.
I was in a rock band called Gondola and Stup Kids,
and it was a really great time. And we had
an album called The Letter nine, which I'm going to
re record and rerelease, which I'm excited about, but it

(17:52):
was a lot. It was eight people in that band,
so it was a lot to carry. And so I
reached this moment in time where I was I was
actually doing Romeo and Juliet at the time on Broadway
and also recording the album at the same time, so
I would leave Romeo and Juliet and go to the
studio and record in the same evening, and it was
such a such a thrill to do all of that.

(18:14):
But also it got to the point where and I
was much younger too, so I realized, okay, not forever,
but for this moment, I'm gonna have to put my
focus in one or the other, because they're both gonna
flounder at this moment because they were both just babies,
like both my acting career and my music care were.
We're so young, and I was kind of independent, so
I realized that they were both going to suffer if

(18:36):
I didn't actually just focus for the time being, which
was very hard for me because, as I expressed, music
is my first passion, but at the time, my acting
career was farther along. So I decided, okay, just for
a few years, I'm actually just gonna put my focus
into that allowed that to grow and when that reaches
a certain place, and I will bring my music back around,
which is exactly what I did. I Uh, as soon

(18:57):
as I did that too, every like Billy and this
came in a couple of films that I did came
in as soon as I shifted my focus, everything kind
of filtered its way in UM and then Yeah, and
then about two years ago, I decided that it was
time for me to release my music, so I put
out this UM visually p that I directed called Space

(19:18):
Daughter last year, which was kind of a dream come
true in the sense where I I had I mean,
I've always been creating music, but that was the first
time where I directed. I never directed any like, I
never directed anything. So I directed these five music videos
with a friend of mine, and UH learned that I
have a knack for directing, and that was something that
was kind of shocking to me. And I'm producing as well,

(19:41):
and they produced it, and I learned that that's absolutely
something that I'm interested in and absolutely something that when
I have a clear vision of something, I can really
do it quite well. Who who has the kind of
career that you could envision for yourself not that you
would be a carbon copy of anyone, but like who
has who's who's doing it the way that you might
enjoy doing it. Yes, I don't know if there is

(20:03):
any I'm not sure that there is anyone. Um, that's
a really good question. I have to think about it.
I wanna say, I can't think of anybody that's doing
it the exact way that I'm doing it or the
way that I would go about doing it. It's a
really unique path, I think, the way that I'm moving
through space. Um, yeah, I think about it. Yeah, But

(20:25):
but but there's more than one thing that can fulfill you,
and I think that there's a beauty to that. I think.
I heard Oprah once say that she thought that part
of what worked out so well for her is that
when she started doing her talk show nationally, was very
shortly thereafter she did her first film, The Colored Purple,
and that some people who were just getting used to
seeing her as a talk show host then all of

(20:47):
a sudden got a second view of who she was,
a richer view. And then on the other side, there
were people who only saw her through the film and
then realized she also was doing the talk show and
also enjoyed her more and there was something about that
X And I wonder if that will end up being
the same for you, that there'll be people who will
hear you or watch you and bounce across those Yeah.

(21:08):
I mean, I think, especially for artists are luckily we're
in a time where are as a collective, um, I
think our understanding of fluidity is starting to open, and
I think there's a lot more space for artists to
just be artists versus having to label and put people
in boxes. But at the same time, it's not something

(21:29):
that I've never I've always dealt with being put into
some kind of a box in somewhere or other, but
it never bothers me because as long as you don't
put yourself in a box, then you don't experience yourself
that way, and then eventually people start to just actually
see what you're feeling and then you can kind of move.
But if you get caught in the box in your head,
then it will not work out. So I kind of

(21:52):
just walk into every room knowing exactly what it is
that I'm bringing to the table and allow everyone else
to follow suit. You know, I really I love Billions,
So bravo on that, and I really I remember you
coming on the screen for the first time and there
was kind of a freshness and um, and I felt

(22:12):
like the screen probably a weird things that I felt
like the screen went towards you, which was which was
which I thought was really nice. And I'm not sure
that happens for every actor, UM, but I thought that
that was that was. Have you enjoyed Billions? Has that
been um and all the different things you've gotten done,
has has that been particularly good or has it been

(22:32):
part of a larger path or what's it been like?
I think it's definitely part of a larger path. I
have had a lot of fun. I think the most
fun part about Billions for me is definitely the cast.
Um Like Paul mat Is like one of I consider
he's good. I truly consider that man one of my
best friends. I mean, just fight or die like I

(22:56):
I would. I just love that man so much. And
everybody in a you know, Asia and Naggie and Damian.
It's just we got really lucky on that on that
show in the sense for like there's not one bad apple,
there's not one diva. Everybody gels, we all hang out.
It's all cool. Like it's it's It's been a real
blast in that regard for sure. Why do you think

(23:16):
that is? Is that luck? Is that? Is that something
about who leads? You just think it's just good luck?
It's luck? I mean, yes, obviously the people that leads
set the tone, but even still, like you can get anybody,
you know, it just so happens different people. Just I've
been very lucky in my career, though I haven't had
many I haven't had many experiences that I and I

(23:39):
would that I would revisit. But but yes, now that
I would say, this cast in particular is quite amicable
and just really really supportive and just really fun. We
have a lot of fun, too much fun on set. Actually,
Oh that's a good thing. Though when you say it
like that, I like, I like I like Gary. That
all right? So who are some of your favorite actors

(23:59):
to watch to enjoy? Like you as a consumers if
you're or even you as a professional actor yourself, Like,
whose work do you really enjoy? I am recently having
this moment I kind of move around. There's so many
actors that I love, but like I'm having, I'm having
this moment and I've always loved to work, But for
some reason, I'm very drawn to till the Swinton right now. Interesting, brilliant.

(24:26):
There's just something she's so unbelievably commanding, but like such
an interesting to something about her that's just so. I
find her very very, very very fascinating. Yeah, well, I
think I think you chose such the right word commanding,
because I think there are certain people who announce themselves

(24:48):
in a space and not always loudly, but still can command.
And I think that's right. I think she's one. Uh yeah,
I would put on that as well. Um, she's someone
I've always loved who go There's so many people. Viola
Davis is one of my favorite actors. Um, then Davis
I feel the same way about. I thought that that

(25:11):
scene between her and your girl Meryl Streep and oh
my goodness, what is that when it's the mother of
a son and Meryl streeps like the head mistress at
a school. Um. I can't remember what the name of
that film was, but I thought that that was one
of the most powerful scenes seeing those two go back
and forth. Yeah, I think she's brilliant. There's just so

(25:34):
many amazing talented There's just a plethora of amazing talented people.
Other Cynthia Rivo is someone who I love as well.
We've gotten to become friends over the past couple of years,
which has been really fun. Um. But yeah, it's I
think also that's part of being an actor. What I
love is that there's so many of these Britain actors
that have become my friends over these over the years.
That's been so wonderful to watch each other grow. You know,

(25:58):
Oh and so and so who's your crew? Who? Uh?
If I were to see your people, who? Who are
your people? I don't know if it's like it's a
bunch of theater folks like okay, okay, okay, But like
Cynthia is someone that I've kind of come around to
in the past couple of years. Um at a pail
or do you? I don't know if you know at

(26:18):
a pair or do yer. She's a dear friend of mine. Um.
Jocelyn Bial she's a writer. She's phenomenal. She wrote Schoolgirls
and she also wrote Mary Wives, which is on that's
the it's an adaptation to Mary Wives of Windsor that's on. Uh,
it's Shakespeare in the Park. She did that. She's out
there right now. Um, all the folks from Hamilton. I

(26:41):
mean it's like all these different shows. Physically, these are
these are all these have all become my friends because
um Corey Hawkins who was another dear friend of mine. Uh,
me and Corey started this party called the ghost Light
and the ghost Light is we just decided to do this.
We were both nominated for a Tony in the same year.

(27:03):
I think it was two thousand's seventeen, maybe you do that.
I think it was two thousand and seventy, I think so.
And we decided, you know, there's all these parties and
it's like it's all a whole lot to do, you know,
but they how to put this. Some of these parties
can be a little dry. Let's say it, are you

(27:26):
gonna call anybody out? Are you gonna call anybody's party?
Is dry? I mean I'm not saying, but they can
just be a little more. You know, we're young, you're
the young. And we decided that we were going to
hold a huge theater bash that was not it was
on the night of the Tony's and an honor, but

(27:47):
it was not just Tony nominees invited. It was the theater.
It was the theater community invited to. What we did
was and like young people, young people, young people of
color that are whoever we saw. Whoever we saw, we
would do our research. We would literally go through and
see what plays are happening off Broadway, off off Broadway,
who are the young talents that are stepping out this year,

(28:08):
and we would literally just reach out to them and
we invite all of them this one party. So it
was to be a mix of people from the Tony's
and people from off Broadway, off off Broadway, like just students.
And and our dress code is live your life, So
it might be I might be in my my you know,
black tie gown from the Tonys, and someone might come
in their pajamas. Whatever makes you feel alive, that's what

(28:30):
you wear, right. And then so there's like a whole
tradition of it too because we have in a place where, um,
it's a speakeasy. So it's really funny cause all of
our photos are how to put this so like and
a lot of the dryer parties, you know, it's a
lot of orders. We the whole the whole tradition is
we ordered boxes and boxes of pizza you drink out

(28:52):
of teacups and it's great and it's and so through that.
Though so many people have come together in that party,
we miss it. We all got to do it three
years in a row and then pandemic it. So we
haven't done it because we haven't had a theater season.
We wait. Now, was your friend David Diggs as part
of this is? Oh? He would just had him and

(29:12):
I could tell he'd be someone who who would be
enjoyable at that part. He never maybe he's been invited
all three years because sometimes people are not around, but
he's always always on the invitation list. Devit I love, Yeah, yeah,
yeah there. I think I feel like there's a fresh
set of really good actors, yourself included. I like Maggie
a lot too. I kind of include her as part

(29:34):
of of these fresh set of actors. Who Joel Kinneman.
I like Joel Kinnaman. I don't know if you've seen
any of his work, uh and enjoy any of his work,
but um, but yeah, I think there's a good fresh
set of people and thankfully they're coming to the Ghost Light.
So that's uh, that's good. That's good. So So when
will you do it next? I guess it will be

(29:55):
next year maybe. Yeah, we'll see maybe next year. Maybe
next year that we'll have will help be able to
do that again. We'll have to see how things are going.
But yeah, it would be it would be a dream.
Because now your dad was so involved in sports, and uh,
I know he's friends with Michael and a whole bunch
of other people. Did that ever influence you at all
in any way or no? So it's funny because like

(30:18):
it's not for dad. Yeah, I'm sure you wanted me
to play sports and like I did, But the truth
of the matter is I'm quite literally the least competitive.
I don't have a competitive bone in my body, even
when playing like games, like I want other people to
win so they can feel good about themselves. I don't care,
so at the end of the day, like I just
I don't care. So I don't care enough to be

(30:40):
on a team. And like I always felt very pressured.
I was on the soccer team, but I did this
thing where I would like run around and pretend to
be busy, but also avoid the ball because I just
like truly did not want the responsibility of of not
getting it in the goal. I was like, I cannot
handle this pressure. I'm just gonna run around and avoid things. Um.
The only sport that I that I did that I

(31:00):
excel that was tracked because I actually couldn't run quite
fast and actually I'm athletic. I'm just not I'm not
a competitive person. Um. But the track was safe because
I felt like, Okay, even though you're a part of
a team, if you don't win the race, it's it's you,
Like your whole team doesn't have to suffer because of it.
It's just it's just you. And I a lot more,
a lot more secure in that. Um. And then I

(31:21):
was a high jumper as well. Um, but it's pretty funny.
My dad used to come to like soccer games and
I could just tell he would just be like, although
I have a really funny football story. So um. So,
like a couple of years ago, UM, my girlfriends were like, Okay,
we're gonna go play football and I was like, okay, now,
mind you, I've never played football. And to be honest,

(31:42):
like it was was around the time where I was
really starting to watch because actually, do you like to
watch football quite a bit. Um. So I'm like, you know,
re up and on the on the on the on
the rules of it all. Okay, cool, so we're playing
touch but really it ended up being touch tackled. But
like so we're out there and they're like, okay, so
what what position do you want to be? And I

(32:02):
was like, well, out of respect, I feel like I
have to be wide receiver. Else it's just like I'll
never live it. Yes, I'm the wide receiver. So like,
I'm right, you're gonna throw it, I'm gonna run, I'm
gonna catch it, and we're gonna score or whatever. I
don't know. We'll see what happens. Guys, Like, I'm not competitive.
Out of nowhere. I scored like six touched like literally,
I was like, I don't know what it's like in

(32:26):
my DNA actually a football player. You know what, we
need the women's football league or we need some kind
of football league for you to uh show your stuff.
I'm ready, Like I score, and I remember calling my dad.
I was so proud. I was like, Dad, I scored
like sixtuch. You know I met that Madio file. He

(32:47):
was he was good. You're dead. Did you ever watching
even stuff or do you ever see highlights or anything.
It's funny you mentioned that this has actually been really
moving for me because as a kid, I didn't quite
understand because by the time I was for him, he
was not playing anymore. Whereas my siblings who were older
than me, they have a different memory. They actually remember
him being a football player. So when I was a kid,
like it was just something that I knew about him,

(33:10):
but I didn't I didn't like witness it firsthand. So
a few years ago he was honored by the Vikings,
So we actually all went out there and they put
his you know, they raised his jersey up and all that,
and we got to see like the highlights, and I
was like really moved to tears because he was like
a whole legend. And then he came upset about like
call I would call my dad sometimes he oys hold on,

(33:30):
walk me to this play. So during this hail Mary,
like what were you thinking? I was like, literally I
got so excited about and I didn't tell you was
so excited that I was like finally asking these questions. Um, yeah,
he was. He was amazing. He was. He was amazing,
and he was striking apart because he changed his name
uh B because he had an unusual number for a

(33:52):
wide receiver. He was twenty eight instead of eighty two,
which most of them were. And he did have a
knack for the spectacular. He played against my favorite teams
and he broke our hearts several times. So that's why
I remember him. But he was he was fun too.
H He was fun to Uh, he was fun to watch.

(34:28):
You know. I've been thinking a lot recently about where
we are a year later after Black Lives Matter and
after all the conversation and whether or not, um, whether
that any real change will happen, or whether or not Uh,
we kind of had a moment and we had a conversation,
and for whatever combination of reasons, people are gonna put

(34:50):
it behind us. What are you seeing? Are you seeing
anything different? Do you feel like, like like meaningful change
has come? And I realized that could be a whole
long and that could be a whole year's worth of conversation.
But but what do you say? Could there are still
many things that need to shift, but a lot has

(35:11):
come to the forefront. A lot of young people have
done the work that's necessary. Um. People are educating themselves,
people are educating each other, people are coming together, people
are pushing back in the ways that we need to
don't believe it was just a moment. And also, um

(35:31):
m hm, I do believe that in order to see
and experience the world in a in a new way,
it will take. It will take more than just shifting laws. Um. Yes,

(35:54):
the laws, certain laws do need to shift, absolutely, and
to support that, there will need to be a collective
shift in consciousness in order for there to be any
kind of sustainable change. Because you can change laws, and
it's a good thing to do so, but until you

(36:16):
change the human consciousness, we will always see this. These
kinds of separation, these kinds of divisions come up because
it's what's there. So the laws don't change that part.
The laws actually just make it so okay, you're you're
not technically allowed to do these things, But that doesn't

(36:38):
mean that this person might not want to still, you know.
So it's like that's the thing that will need to
shift in order for things to really change. And that
can happen, but it is a collective consciousness that will
need to shift. It will not be one person. Have
you seen anyone in your life do that shift in
a meaningful way. I'm sure we all have shifted some

(36:59):
but if there any people you see it, and I'm
talking with more and more people who are coming to
certain understandings about themselves, coming to understandings about themselves as
a part of a collective. All of a sudden, I
had this own experience of I had my own experience
of this where um, recently I've been and then this

(37:25):
is a this is really I've actually not talked about
this yet because it's no one's asked me, but um,
I've recently been stripped of judgment mmm. And it's not
It was not mental. It was literally an experience of I,
all of a sudden, was not able to find judge.

(37:46):
I was not able. I literally was not able to
find judgment towards anybody. That doesn't mean that I don't
hold people accountable. It just means I'm I do not
look at anybody, no matter what they've done, and see
less of a person I see. I may see a
person that's gone very far self. I may see a

(38:07):
person who has become so enshrouded in darkness that they're
not able to see when they harm another person that
they are also harming themselves at the same time. But
they cannot see that. And it doesn't mean oh pity
that person. It just means I don't have judgment. I
can hold you accountable, but I don't have judgment because
anybody can fall into darkness. Anybody and we all have

(38:29):
in different, different levels and different measures. We forget that
when we deal with each other. So when we have
things like cancel culture, we forget that. I do believe
cancel culture is incredibly detrimental in the sense where we are,
Like I said, it's one thing to hold someone accountable,
but when we are not allowing an individual to evolve,

(38:51):
we are basically not allowing ourselves to evolve. We are
saying this person is just this, that it's all they are,
and they are not worth even being mentioned. So we
may as well be saying that about ourselves. Why do
we think we are different from everybody else? Does not?
Is there not a person and again there's different levels
and layers and you know, but is there not a

(39:13):
person on this planet that has not done or said
something in another year that they would not do now
that they have evolved and they would never do that again?
You know, we have to as a culture start to
allow each other to evolve and started compassion, not pity,

(39:33):
but compassion. What what changed you on that what is
you called it stripped you of judgment? Cause, um, so
I I have I have a meditation practice that I
have been on a journey with for many years, and
it's just quite as simple as that. But sometimes with

(39:57):
that there have been shifts in my perspe and shift
in my understanding that just happened. I haven't actively tried
to do it. I haven't actively said Okay, I'm not
gonna judge anymore. I So what happened was is, um,
there was a picture of someone in a newspaper and

(40:18):
this person had cause a lot of harm two people.
And I saw this photograph, and normally, in that kind
of a circumstance, my mind would automatically go to, oh
my god, this this guy, that negative thing, he's just

(40:39):
the he should just be he should just go to
jail up all these things, you know, Oh, bad, bad, bad, horrible,
horrible horrible. And I saw I swear to you, and
I talked to my friend about it because I actually
it actually frightened me because I actually was like, this
isn't what I know. I saw this person's picture and
I cry it because I literally felt when I saw

(41:04):
this person, when I saw the person's face. I saw
someone who was so disconnected from himself that he even
if he thought he meant what he was doing, I
could see in the photo he had no idea how
much he had harmed himself by doing what he did
because we're connected, but that that understanding was so far

(41:28):
from him. And when that understanding is so far from someone,
that is what causes you to harm another person because
you feel disconnected and you don't feel that if you
harm this person that you that has anything to do
with you. When you have an understanding of of of connectedness,
you feel that, you feel that you feel the pain

(41:51):
of another person. You don't, you don't, You wouldn't want
to cause that. You only want to cause that if
you're not connected to yourself. Truly, truly, truly, this is
what I even. But these are the things that I've
been experiencing recently. And it was hard because again I
was not used to that. Um I didn't know what
to think of it. I felt bad because I was like,

(42:11):
I feel like I'm supposed to hate this person, but
I don't hate this person. I hold him accountable for
what he's done, but I don't have hatred for this
person I don't have hatred for this person. Did you
if you read this book? Um? Uh, there's a book. Uh.
First of all, I like mystery novels two and thrillers.
I like David Baldocci. I don't know if you ever
come across any David Baldocci, but if you haven't, you

(42:34):
might like him. Um. But there's a really interesting book
called The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace, which
is which, which is a true story about a young
man who grows up in Newark, New Jersey. And I
won't give you anymore, but given what you just shared,
I think you would enjoy this. I think you. I
think you would enjoy this and find it uh and

(42:55):
find it fascinating. Um. Maybe yeah, I think you might
thank you for sharing out with me. Yeah I will, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
It's funny what you're saying about meditation because I work
um with a gentleman named Marco. You can't see him,
I can see him, and uh, he and I have
talked about meditation more and for years. My best friend
who I grew up with, would always try and encourage

(43:15):
me to uh do meditation. He's a teacher in Miami
and he does it every morning before school, and we
did it recently on the show once and it was, um, yeah,
it was. It was good. It was good, it was
it was different, it was it was good. Excuse my life, truly.

(43:35):
I started because I always thought I couldn't do it
because my normally I'm a Sagittarius, our brains moved very quickly,
and so I was I was like, I can't meditate.
It just that can't sit, that's tell, you know, but
anybody can you just there's nothing really to do, you know.
You just I think that we get in our heads
think there's something that I'm supposed to do or achieve,
but it's just about being anyway. And so you know,

(43:57):
I started with five minutes a day. I did that
for a month, and then after that I added five minutes,
and then I added five minutes, and then I added
five minutes. For a while, I was at two hours
a day. Now with the time that I have, I
come back down to an hour. But I do find
and everybody experiences it differently, but I do find that

(44:18):
my life has become a lot clearer since I began
that journey, and it was a journey that I will
definitely continue you know one of your superpowers, even though
I don't really know you, but I think one of
your superpowers is that you were able to try things
in increments, and what you said about learning Italian and
now that because most of us it's hard to start

(44:40):
small and to stick with it, and I think it
takes a certain constitution to try that, And I think
I could be end up being a little bit of
a superpower for you and your ability to do that.
I know they're gonna make me let you go in
a minute, but can I do rapid fire with you
before we go? Okay? I'm nervous, but yes, Okay? Um.

(45:01):
What's your favorite movie of all time? Ah, it's so hard,
That's so hard. Lord of the Rings. That's a good one. Okay.
What is your karaoke song? Africa by Toto? I didn't
see that coming. We've never had that on the show.
I love that. I love that. If you could have
dinner with any person, dead or alive, who would you

(45:22):
love to have dinner with? His Royal Badness rest in peace?
Your favorite flower? What's your favorite flower? Violet? Most interesting
thing you've ever learned about? Love that? It's my very nature. Oh,
that's nice. Oh that's nice. Um uh, the role that
you're excited about that's gonna come your way in the future.
What role I'm gonna play? Hot chepsuit? Is that right? Yeah,

(45:48):
I'm counting on it. Then, I'm definitely counting on I'm
definitely counting on it. Um. If you were going to
make a special meal for your mom and dad, what
would you make my famous colored greens? My mom recently
told me that I meet coloring is better than she did,
and that is a feat because her collar greens are
the best in the world. And last time I made them,
she was like, I'm not making it anymore. You got
the collar greens, You've got it. The baton was pasted,

(46:10):
the cooking batton was past absolutely last one. And I
think I already know the answer, but maybe I don't.
The most beautiful place you've ever been to in the
world had to be, had to be, had to be.
And and are you a hotel person or you Airbnb person?
What brings you jog? Especially when I go to Italy,

(46:32):
because that that helps me to meet people, because I
meet the whole like the host, and then the host
becomes my friend. And but I'm like the Airbnb queen.
All my friends know, like whenever we go on a
journey and I I just let me handle it, I got
it all right. You know I lied one last one.
We always talk about dreaming fearlessly on the show because
so many people want to dream fearlessly. It's not always easy,

(46:53):
much less bring those alive. What's the best advice you've
ever gotten or given to someone about how to dream
fearlessly and bring those dreams alive? One, whatever the dream is,
do not allow your thoughts to get in the way.
The thoughts will always come. There will always be thoughts
that tell you you cannot do it. There will That's
always going to be the case. Don't believe everything you think.

(47:15):
I like to think of it like this. Whenever you're
having thoughts about a big dream of yours that are
not positive, remember that your mind is like it's like
a conveyor belt at the airport and there's all kinds
of luggage coming out, But you don't have to pick
up every bag. Just pick up the bag that's yours
and leave all the other stuff in the conveyor belt.
I love that. I love that. Pick up the good stuff.

(47:37):
Don't take the wrong stuff. Oh, that's what you're saying. Yeah,
don't take the wrong stuff. Good old, Thank you so much,
and uh what this is what a pleasure. Thank you
for for making the time. I appreciate you doing this. Yeah, no,
thank you, I don't well, uh, we want to make
it easy and one of these days we'll do this

(47:58):
in person. That would be better. I would love that.
I would absolutely love that. Well, meditate together. There you go.
I'm ready. I'm ready. You will, you will, you will
make my friend Auto proud. Finally someone gets me to
do it regularly. Okay, okay, okay, have a good week.
Thanks you do. Thank you for listening to this episode

(48:29):
of The Carlos Watson Show podcast. If you enjoyed this episode,
please tell your friends to find us on the I
heart podcast app or Apple podcast.