Forging Self-Confidence: The Navy SEAL System to Overcome Fear and Doubt | Ep. 48

What happens when your confidence collapses? Former Navy SEAL David Rutherford shares the exact system he built to reset, rebuild, and forge self-confidence—no matter what life throws at you.

In this high-energy episode of The David Rutherford Show, Rut and Jordy dive deep into the origin story of Froglogic and the 8 Missions for Forging Self-Confidence. From BUD/S training to Blackwater deployments, to fatherhood and mentorship, David reveals how anyone can build the resilience to keep going when everything inside you says quit.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why self-confidence collapses daily—and how to rebuild it fast.
• The Navy SEAL-inspired 8 Missions for lasting confidence.
• Stories from combat, training, and fatherhood that shaped Rut’s system.
• The power of mentorship, integrity, and living with purpose.
• How to laugh, love, and find joy—even in the hardest moments.

If you’ve ever battled fear, doubt, or the urge to quit—this episode will light a fire in your soul.

➡️ Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/davidrutherfordshow

➡️ Froglogic Training Curriculum: https://www.froglogicinstitute.com/

➡️ FIRECRACKER FARM: https://firecracker.farm/

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Losing my self-confidence, deployments & Froglogic origins

21:46 - What I learned about confidence in BUD/s

29:47 - Have a positive attitude

37:08 - PT and live healthy

41:03 - Motivate yourself and others

45:18 - Earn respect

49:49 - Set realistic goals

52:54 - Live with integrity

56:07 - Ask for help

57:57 - Have fun

01:03:19 - We need a system

 

 

Follow Clay & Buck on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/clayandbuck

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everybody.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Thank you so much for coming back to this edition
of the David Rutherford Show. I'm here with my good
friend Jeordi. Jordy, how's the baby doing, man, I want
to know that baby's crushing it, honestly. So she has
a few tasks that she has to do every day,
which is just sleep. She has to eat, she has
to poop, and she just has to hang out. And
she is four for four right now and just going through.

(00:25):
You finish all four of you to start back at zero.
It's like the Golden gate Bridge when you paint it.
You know, you start at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Once you finish painting it, you just have to start
over because it's been so long.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
It's just that it's just a cycle. And she's doing great. Man. Well,
I love the metaphor of the Golden gate Bridge.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Right. It's this, It's the servitude, it's keeping. It's the
upkeep on some grand, grand vehicle to discovery on the
other side.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Right.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
And you have to make you have to make the.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Journey not only esthetically pleasing, but functionally pleasing as well too.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
And and that is that is what.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
You do with children, man, that is what you do
in terms of creating those bridges through until they get
done with this initial cycle and then the next cycle,
and then you add in a little bit of play
in there, then you add a little bit of learning,
and then you had a little bit of socialization, right,
And each one of those is a bridge to the
next evolution of who they become as a person.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Does that mean she's the bridge and I'm the painter.
I don't know who I am in this analogy, but.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Khondred percent right. No, No, she's the car on the bridge, right.
The love that that you and your wife give her
is the bridge to the her future self. Right.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
But James is the paint. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we nailed that. I love it well,
you know in that reference. You know again, and thank
you all for showing up. If you really have been
enjoying the show, we have been so blessed to have
your part. If you if you love the show, please
don't forget to like, leave a comment, subscribe to all

(02:13):
the different places we're on all the different platforms. Obviously,
the shows on everywhere from TikTok to Instagram to x
to YouTube.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
The video.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
We post video both on x and on YouTube, it's
you can file a show at at d Rutherford Show.
On Exit's at d at at D Rutherford Show. On
the other platforms, it's at David Rutherford Show YouTube. It's
the David Rutherford Show. If you want to follow me,
it's usually I'm on x and Instagram the most and

(02:45):
it's at Team frog Logic. You know, one of the
things that we I wanted to just discuss and it's
kind of you know, relevant to the initial question of
of your your newborn child, is you know, what are
the critical aspects that we need in this very difficult
life because why sometimes on that bridge they might be

(03:07):
a toll booth, or there might be the bridge out
of order, and so what do we do and how
do we reference that? And so, you know, one of
the key concepts behind this motivational concept that I've been
in development for thirty plus years and all my background
and all of the different things I've done in the military,

(03:29):
intelligence and working with professional and collegiate athletes and business
people is to deliver these core concepts that really help
people discover the what inside themselves makes it possible or
what ignites the desire to want to drive over those

(03:49):
bridges in life, especially when some of those bridges, like
have you ever seen like the glass walkway bridge in China.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Dude, I'm not going on that way. I'm not doing that.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Well.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
I mean, some people have some very substantial fears about
crossing those different bridges, and from a little concept and
then obviously from a metaphorical concept, because uh, you know,
each chapter of your life, each each segment of your
life is connected through these different capacities within the human condition,

(04:26):
within these different values or virtues or belief systems. Right,
that's what gives you the structure to move one from
one moment to the next in your life, and especially
the big moments. And we see so many people dealing
with big moments in their lives. And in fact, I
bet if you're listening right now, you know there's a
high probability that you're going through a big moment in

(04:48):
your life. And for many people that are ambitious and
want to kind of leave a mark in this this
grand you know, highway of their existence, you know there's
there there the higher ambition you have, the greater probability
there's going to be immeasurable challenges really things that can

(05:09):
knock you down and this is kind of actually the
place where I began this journey, right because you know,
in this this period of my life post high school
and into college, you know, I had really kind of
lost that, uh, that self confidence that really we all

(05:31):
need every day as we are going to confront our
great ambition or aspire to our great ambition, and in
that aspiration or inspiration, we're going to come in contact
with that negative insurgency who's going to try and get
us to quit or be afraid or or to be
paralyzed in slowing down our our momentum. And for me,

(05:55):
it was the biggest, most palpable aspect of that. Beyond
the fear was the fact that I had lost all
my self confidence, and which was very peculiar for me
because I really imagined myself as a pretty self confident kid.
I had you know, good childhood, rough in some ways,
but I was confident in my abilities when tested. But

(06:17):
obviously I didn't have the capacity as a young purple
person as many people don't, to have that grander idea
of how difficult things are going to be. And you know,
before we hopped on, Jordan and I were discussing this.
You know, I have four teenage daughters who are all
in this place where their substantial nature of their identity

(06:39):
is emerging. And so part of you know, our challenge,
my wife and I is to say, hey, you know, yeah,
it's hard now, but in the future, it's going to
be a lot harder. As as as your ambition grows,
so do the challenges. So you're going to have to
develop these types of skill sets in order to be
able to combat the setbacks that you faceing back, or

(07:01):
the chopping down, or the collapse, if you will, to
go back to that bridge analogy, the collapse of your
self confidence, which happens in some capacity almost every single
day of your life.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
That that reminds me of a Simpsons episode, h Homer.
You know, Bart goes to his dad and he's like,
this is the worst day of my life, and Homer
tells him, well, don't worry, son, it's the worst day
of your life so far.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
It's like, yeah, that's about right.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
That's about right, that's it right, And and if you
think you've got to figure it out, just wait a week.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Right, that's you know.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
I mean, I've had so many people, in particular my
you know, my my buds instructors. Right, you finish some
insanely brutal day in training, and and you're feeling good
about yourself, and that one instructor always just says, well,
guess what, Rutherford, you had a good day today, but
I'm gonna knock the piss out of you tomorrow, right,

(07:59):
And you're just like, what what did I do wrong?
And you know, for me, that's the place where I
really began to reshape this foundation, or not it really
even offended, but this structure of self confidence and how
it's formed and how it's built and how it emerges,
and so you know, you know, when I had hit

(08:21):
a point where I discovered that, you know, maybe carrying
a gun for a living wasn't I wasn't going to
be able to really effectuate the most change in people
by the end of a barrel of a gun. Now,
don't get me wrong, I really believe that, you know,
that type of service has a huge impact on self
confidence and has a huge impact on meaning and purpose.

(08:44):
But at the end of the day, right, if if
all you do is use a gun, there's a correlation
between a particular negative outcome that's very intense on any
any pretty much all pieces within the human condition, and
it does have long term afhex and effects to people.

(09:04):
And so you know, what I realized in my kind
of going in my third year with Blackwater was that man,
there's there's got to be something more.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
And it really transpired in my trip.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
I did a fall deployment over to Afghanistan where I
was training counter drug commandos and mentoring them on missions.
And then I was running a side building project for
the Afghan Border Police. And and it was during this
experience that I.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Had gone out.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
We did this mentor this op, we hit this compound
and and if you know, you're not familiar going to
any compound or place in a third world country, one
of the things you'll notice, in particular in Afghanistan is
there's there's a trove of of children.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
There's kids everywhere.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Right because they have a high reproduct of rate, right
because why because more kids help you work the fields,
just like old school Americans, you know, those old families
of the late eighteen eighties that we had fifteen kids
or even into the early nineteen hundreds.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
You know, my wife has a massive family that she
comes from in terms of cousins and siblings and the
whole thing, and and and so you I remember hitting
this compound and I'm looking around and there was nobody.
There was not connectic in any way, shape or form.
It was very docile. But we're sitting there and as

(10:34):
we split up, you know, the male adults and the
females and the kids over here.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
I meant, it kind of hit me.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
And I got hit with one of those kind of
God moments, like tapping me on my forehead like hey, rut,
wake up, you know, And that's what I hope you
know sometimes my voice does with you when you're in
your car, when you got your working out. Is that
I what you feel for me is me tapping your
head like, hey wait, got I'm trying to tell you something. Well,

(11:02):
what God was trying to tell me in that moment
was the real critical importance of our children, and how
important that if we can somehow teach children to think
outside of the typical cultural power structures that exist, you know,

(11:24):
in order to be able to reassess or restructure their
perception of of of how you gain power, right whether
through your fist or through manipulation or whatever Machiavelian influence
that you're that you're available to right, and so easily

(11:45):
we can, in particular as young people in our in
our early teens, right where things are very influential to us.
And I realized in that moment, man, you know, that
might give me more fulfillment in my life. And you
know that was I was in not a great place, uh,

(12:07):
and I really wanted to do something more meaningful. And
so it was kind of in that moment that I
was like, oh, wow, I want to go, you know,
help kids.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
And that's weird.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know, here's this team guy, military contractor blackwater, mercenary,
whatever you want to call me, you know, and now
all of a sudden, I want to go help children.
And I know the juxtaposition of that is definitely complex,
but pretty.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Typical the root of the problem, that's right, because I
had seen the atrocities of what men can do to
each other when when they are funneled into.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Uh the proverbial system of of of the natural order
of men wanting to conquer one another, right, I mean,
there's no shortage of examples in particularly you just look
at the twentieth century, you know, low estimates, it's one
hundred and fifty million people annihilated, high it could be

(13:07):
three hundred and fifty. I mean, we just can't tell.
In some cases. I mean, the mass carnage that ensued
was there's no word that can actually really describe it.
And so what happened as a result of all that carnage? Right?
What are the generations that lived through that as children?
What happened in their minds? What emerged out of that?

(13:28):
And I saw this replicating itself in you know, the
current state of what the GWAT was.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
What are we going in there?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
We bomb these villages or we kill these you know,
terrorists and quotations if you will, or bad people or
hvts or whatever. You know, what happens to their children?
And I certainly would hope that in some capacity, if
I was to be brutally murdered or killed, that my

(13:59):
children would uh be inspired by that in some capacity,
hopefully for good. But you know, you know, there's always
a probability that human beings want to seek revenge or
retribution for being wronged in some capacity. And I saw that,
and I was like, well, is there a way to
impede that or to redirect that anger towards something more positive?

(14:23):
And you know, I remember that that fall of five.
Uh you know, I remember, I was like I told
my my buddy, I was. I was working with Joe,
and Joe's just a real amazing guy, had gone through
training with him. We were partners in Blackwater everything we did.
And and I said, hey, man, I think I want
to work with kids. And he's like, what you know,

(14:44):
because I had a definite reputation of not being very
uh uh child friendly in my behavior, if you will,
And and.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
You know, he was like, what do you want to do?
And I was like, I don't know, man, maybe trying
and you know, figure out how to teach him how
to be stronger or give him hope or I don't know.
And and we were I was working on the.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Idea, and then I came up with like, well, you know,
maybe I maybe I'll just, uh you know, I'll teach
him some of what we learned in training.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
And he's like, you can teach him.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
How to like make bombs and blow stuff up and
shoot people. And I was like no, no, no, no,
come on, man. I was like, like to to look
at the lessons that we learned in this really unbelievable
training program. I mean, because I mean, I know I
changed as a result for the better. You know, I
know you changed. I watched you change, and you know

(15:38):
it's this, this this growth that comes out of you.
Maybe I can take whatever that is. And you know
what is it? Maybe it's just, you know what, what
we were exposed to shaped our self confidence and made
that stronger.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
And I think that's what I wanted to try and do.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
And I was like, you know, and and I was like, well,
you know, and I think I'm gonna call it, you know,
because I have so much respect. If you really want
to go down a fun rabbit hole, go do some
reshirt research on our early product predecessors. The naval combat
demolition units that were the guys that led the D
Day invasion that cut the lanes so the landing craft

(16:14):
could land and then get into the underwater demolition teams
of the Pacific Theater. And they're operations. I mean, they
were in every major beach landing assault from Tarawa onward,
right the Battle of Tarawa, where you know, three thousand
plus marines were annihilated or drowned or crossed in that

(16:34):
because they had hit the outer reefs, got out of
their boats and they were in the lagoon and they
were just picked off by the Japanese pretty easily, and
then they drowned too, and so they brought in, they
resurrected the NCD used, they created the underwater demolition teams,
and then these guys would swim in the middle of
the night, lay fifty pounds of T and T, strap

(16:54):
it to these coral reef bulkheads, and then blow them
up so the landing craft could get to the main
shores on Ewa, Jima, Saipan, even Okinawa. And these guys
were just I mean, you want to talk about self confidence, like,
it's difficult to even comprehend that because they weren't going

(17:15):
in with you know, belt fed machine guns and all this.
They went in with like those old circular dive masks,
you know, these two by fours they had for fins,
you know, these old ud T shorts, you know, a
k bar dive knife in this haversack of fifty pounds
of T and T and that's what they went and
did their mission with.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
And so that's more than confidence.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
That's like something above confidence, because that doesn't even make sense, dude.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I mean, they're these stories of these guys and if
you ever get the opportunity to high recommend you visit
the Navy Seal Museum in Fort Pierce, Florida. You know,
I try and get up there once a year. This
thing is absolutely one of the coolest museums, this little
museum on the beach where our training originated back for
the NCDUs in preparation for World War Two. And you

(18:06):
know what I as I evaluated that, I was like,
you know, and they should call these guys the frogmen
of the Navy. And that's when I came up with
the idea, well, maybe if I created some kind of
training program or idea that I pulled from this our
storied pass and our training, you know, that made it
user friendly for kids, they would accept it, they tolerate,

(18:29):
they want to get into it. And so I labeled
it frog logic. And I remember going to Joe going, hey, man,
you know, what do you think I should you know,
what should my logo be? And I, you know, I
wanted to use a frog and a tree frog because
it changes camouflage, it can operate in the water, it
can operate out of the water. It's got some cool
you know weapons systems with that crazy tongue and the

(18:51):
you know, the sticky fingers and all that. You know,
I just thought it was the coolest the amphibian, right,
it's one of the oldest creatures there is. And and
and uh, I go, what do you think, Like what
should I do? And the logic portion I'm thinking about,
you know, I don't know. And he goes, you should
put the frog on top of a brain and have

(19:11):
you know, the frog choking out the brain. And Joe was,
I think at the time of brown belt in jiu jitsu,
so like you know where and you know, just a
really tough, badass dude. And and I'm like, you know
this is for kids, right, He's like, yeah, that's what
makes it cool, you know. And I'm like, all right, well,
maybe not that, but maybe just a frog on top

(19:33):
of the brain. And that's that's how the naked brain
right right, you see it bulgy now like it's it's
it's pre frontal. Yeah, it's prefrontal cortexas like strained right,
and you know, veins popping out of that. And I
was just like all right. And so I went to
you know, my my lifelong buddy. I had gone to

(19:55):
high school with probably the best artist I've ever met.
In my entire life. His name is Brian Calt. He's
a graphic artist. You can check him out online. Just
look up Brian caultgraphic artists who's literally done art for
every piece of my companies throughout the years. I just
I love them so much and I thank them for

(20:16):
helping me bring this to fruition the idea of the image, right,
because an image speaks a thousand words. And so did
this And I say, all right, well what do I
do first? And David Rutherford, my best friend, Welcome to
the show.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Sean, thank you for having me. It's an honor to
be here. What's up? Team?

Speaker 2 (20:34):
I recently had the incredible honor of joining my best
friend Sean Ryan on his show, and as a token
of my appreciation for him and his audience, I want
to do something special for you. For thirty years, I've
been helping individuals and teens to discover how to utilize
pain and suffering to propel their performance. From the world

(20:55):
series champions the Boston Red Sox to elite operators, top
entrepreneurs and business owners. I want to offer the first
three foundational frog Logic courses that I've been developing for
the past decade, Embrace Fear, Forging, self confidence, and team Life.
These courses come straight from the painful stories and lessons

(21:16):
learned I talked about on Shawn's podcast, and they also
emerged from the thousands of people I've instructed. Normally, these
courses are two hundred dollars each, but until September fifteenth,
you can get all three for just two hundred dollars.
That's three courses for the price of one. Please go
to David Rutherford dot com or click the link in
the description to get the bundle.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Thank you very much, hu yah and godspeed.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
So I went back and I evaluated in the context
of self confidence, all the different parts throughout all of
buds from pre phase, first phase, second phase, third phase,
all the things in my medical role, excuse me, my
medical roles, my performance role. I had all of my

(22:06):
friends what I saw in there, and I just started saying,
all right, this lesson in this part, and this lesson
what I learned here, and all these things and I
and they kind of emerged into these concepts, and I
had like twenty six of these things, and you know,
at the same time, I'm trying to figure out, well, well,
how do you do this. How do you start, uh,

(22:29):
essentially a motivational training company.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
So what do you do?

Speaker 2 (22:32):
You go online at the time that it was just
getting big, and you know, you look up, right, you
look up who, you look up Tony Robbins, and you
look up awakened the giant within right, And I thought, oh,
you can go even further back to that and Dale Carnegie,
right yeah, uh, And and you know you got zig Ziggler,

(22:54):
you got Stephen Covey, you got Les Brown, You've got uh,
Jim Rohan, You've got I mean, the list is long, man,
There's been some really amazing motivational speakers and.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
A lot of history.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Well he's he's really good. I mean he made it.
He made it succinct. And you see these and it's
the seven steps to be a Great Manager, or it's this,
And so I was like, all right, twenty six seems
a bit much for kids, right, Let's let's try and
figure out how to reduce. So what I did is
I just looked across the scope of it, the span
of it, and certain things that were similar, and then

(23:29):
I drilled down and I ultimately came up with these
eight missions in order to forge your self confidence, right,
and uh, these eight missions are have a positive attitude
and they're kind of sequential, but you can pick each one, right.
But the idea was that I would kind of utilize

(23:50):
our mission training, you know, packets all the different things
and and kind of put us set it up in
kind of like an instructional guy in IG and kind
of give it that militaristic feel. Step by step. This
is how you do it, this is what you follow
and these are the things that if you can learn
these things and employ them in your life every day
in some capacity when you get punched in the face

(24:13):
by that negative insurgency and knocked on your butt, you know,
these are the things that can help rehabilitate your self confidence.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Because one of the thay to do real quick is
that one is that I think it's always always bring
this up, but it's important to keep in mind all
these concepts like self confidence. You know, if you're a
sixteen year old kid, sixteen year old dude, nothing's you
haven't really had real challenges in your life. You're just
confident by default, or at least I was like I'm invincible,
Like I can literally do anything. And then it's not

(24:42):
until you get don't make the team, you get the
bad grade, you get dumb, do you have family issues.
Then that's only then when you start getting it shaken.
And that's the only time when having confidence matters. Is
easy when nothing's going on, but it's hard when there's
The only point is when you have everything going against you.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
At least it feels that way.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
And I also wanted to say that it's interesting just
from the start that you you called them missions and
you say it's forging your self confidence as opposed to oh,
let me just like give you this information and then
you'll be confident. You know, you have to frame it
as a mission that you have to forge and you
have to do something. Is that's part that's a key

(25:23):
part of it, right.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Well, prior to that, I you know, as I was
developing as an athlete, whether it was across or backball
or football, whatever I was passionate about, you know, it
was about the mission was the winning and the losing.
It was the competitiveness in the moment of the game,
right And so that's how I used to frame it.
But when you go to buds Man, it's it's like, no,

(25:47):
the mission is to make it through the next ten minutes.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Right, the mission is.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
The mission is not like I'm going to be a
world class expert as a frog man, you know tomorrow.
It's more like, holy cow, I gotta go do log
pet right now. After I've already run four miles, I've
already swam two miles, I've already been gotten an additional
beatdown of an additional five hundred push ups, and I

(26:15):
had to get wet and sandy for inspection first thing
in the morning. I'm exhausted, I'm starving, my knees are
killing me, my back hurts, my feet are rotten from
being wet for the last four straight days, and now
I got to go do log pet. How am I
going to make it through log pet?

Speaker 3 (26:30):
Well, if you were successful with it, even if you're
good at something, wouldn't they just like crank it up
harder so you failed anyway?

Speaker 4 (26:36):
Well, Well that's the object with Yeah, Well that's the thing,
that's the underlying secret I believe of buds, Like, even
when you're performing at your best, they're going to make
you feel like you fail because that's where it matters.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Can you rebuild in the moment, the moment that matters,
and you take a hit. How quickly can you you
fire and forget and move back into a ready position again.
And that's the brilliance of the program because you don't
have a reference for that before that. And that what

(27:12):
I came out to believe was really this, that's the
piece where you learn about yourself is when you're cause,
like you said, I mean, day in and day out,
when there's no pressure on you, Yeah, I'm ultra confident
I can handle anything.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
And then okay, well show me, all right, I'll show you.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
And then you start doing it and you start getting flustered,
and then you start getting angry or frustrated or pain
and then you start feeling sorry for yourself, and that
cascade can happen like.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
That, and you can't just tell that person to be confident.
It takes you're saying, it takes practice. There's like skills,
you have to practice. This is just like a thing
you learn and you're like, oh, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Now, No, there's no I mean, That's why I tried
to say this is you have to develop this system,
a system not only to rehabilitate the collapse of your
self confidence, to get it back up to where you
can just engage, but where you can then engage, engage,

(28:12):
engage through failure, failure, failure, oh, success or a little
piece of success, Oh that keeps me going, That keeps
me going, that keeps and you build and you build
and you build. And that's what I'm sure you know
if you're listening, that you kind of worry about some days.
I know I worry about it even now at fifty

(28:33):
three years and all I've ever done. Man, I'm constantly
resetting myself in these mission templates right and checking myself,
and my wife is checking me, and Geordie checks me,
and you know, and that's what I'm trying to do,
is I'm just trying to give you this thing that
this system, this idea, this process, this concept of forging

(28:59):
self confidence that I've really been thinking about and trying
to put into practice, and as many different environments as
you can imagine, most of them extreme environments. And what
I've discovered as is what works and how it works.
And so let me just go through with these. Mission
number one is have a positive attitude. Mission number two

(29:20):
is to pet and live healthy. Mission number three is
to motivate your yourself and others. Mission number four is
to earn respect. Mission number five is to set goals.
Mission number six is to live with integrity. Mission number
seven is mentoring, to mentor or be mentor, to ment

(29:42):
to be mentee or mentor. And then finally, mission number
eight is to have fun in the process. All right,
So let's just do a brief overview of these. Go
through these pretty quick, all right, So you know, mission
number one, have a positive attitude. I started the self
confidence piece because real the thing I saw every day was,

(30:03):
you know, you can be riding the top of the
world one day at buds and then the next you're
on the precipice of thinking you're the worst human being
and you're ready to go ring that bell. And you know,
I talked a little bit before in an episode before
this about the importance of that bell, the metaphor of
it in our laws, and so you it's your choice.
This is the greatest aspect about the human condition that

(30:25):
I found, the most flexible, the greatest, the easiest thing
to really do every day, and that is to just
make the decision, you know, am I going to be positive?
Negative or neutral? And we do that every day and
then throughout each part of the day, am I going
to be positive about what I eat for breakfast?

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Am I going to be.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Positive about the you know, the crap I have to
take out work or on my team?

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Or you know, am I going to.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Be positive in my relationship when it doesn't go my
way or I don't get what I want? Or am
I going to be positive when I let myself down
or I don't achieve a particular goal? Or am I
going to let the negativity of that overwhelm me and
be the controlling mechanism for what stalls my momentum or
what what dismantles my motivation to be self confident? And

(31:17):
it's a real simple question, you know, and and and
within every mission again just the reference if you haven't
heard me describe this before. There are always four sub
steps to all of these things, right, and and the
way it's designed is you take one month or four
weeks to do these, you know, the overall Archie mission
is the concept you focus on, and then I attach

(31:39):
these subsets that you spend one week on, or you
can do it in one week and main in introduce
it on a Monday. Then each step is Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
And then you fitness the thing, so you know, and
for instance, you know, one of the most powerful uh
uh steps and and and have a positive attitude is
really to figure out how to anchor your heart to

(32:01):
your mind right. And and what I mean about that
is there were so many days in buds. And I
always use this picture when I give this lecture of
an individual kid uh in surf torture. And that's where
you know, you're forced to lay down arm in arm
with your teammates, you know, in the Pacific Ocean just

(32:23):
washing over top of you for extended periods of time,
and that that ocean gonna get as cold as you know,
sixty degrees fifty eighth nine degrees, you know, at least
in San Diego where we were, certainly up in Norton,
Cow's a lot colder. But so you're sitting there and
you're you're you're being whatever you're being punished for. You're
in this this predicament, being serf tortured. What happens you

(32:46):
You your mind starts telling you this ain't worth it,
this sucks. I don't want to do this, I don't
need to do this because your body is in pain.
And so your body starts over your Olympic system, overrides
that meta cognition of that image of you being a
seal jumping out airplanes in two or three years down
the road and training, and it negates all that gets

(33:06):
rid of it, and it says, well, right now, I'm
miserable and this sucks and I want it to end,
and I can't do this. And so that piece of you,
that that heartfelt desire, the ambition, the dream, if you
will and and listen, I one hundred percent believe dreams
come true. I am a recipient of that on multiple

(33:27):
ways and multiple formats. I have participated with people to
help them achieve their dreams in many different avenues and industry,
and I've seen it just happen over and over and
over and over again.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's real.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
But what happens when we're consumed with that pain and
our confidence takes a blast, that that peace in your
heart that allows you to dream, it gets you know
that you override it with some kind of rational thought
where you're trying to argue, argue your way out of
out of pain, right and so you know if you

(34:00):
anchor your heart to your mind and keep that dream
alive in those moments man, that's the first step. And
then you know there's a start. Every day, cold, wet
and sandy, find a swim budy. And then my favorite
within this is no whining, right, you know if and
this is the thing that is absolutely beyond measure in
my world, is you know, if you whine your negative

(34:21):
you know. Now a lot of people think they can
get away with it, right Jordy by being sarcastic. But
in any sarcastic comment, there's an underlying tone of negativity.
It's just is what it is, right.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
What doesn't help anything?

Speaker 2 (34:36):
It I used to believe that a bitch and sailor
was a happy sailor, right, And if I was complaining,
I was going to be able to get through it. Man,
I'll never forget you asked my platoon mates and my
second platoon when we were in Kuwait getting ready to
go to combat. You know, we're driving, you know, to
do these dpvs, and you know, I was a guy

(34:57):
that didn't even know how to change oil, right, And
to give you an idea of the work that required
for every hour you drove in the in the in
the desert, was eight hours of wrenching on these vehicles.
And they were an old V dub souped up V
dub engine was you know, racing components that and so
I remember, you know, my my l PO, Larry, who

(35:17):
I love love love you so much, Larry deeply, you know,
would be like rot, go go disassemble and rebuild this carburetor.
And you'd hear me in the back, you know, plane,
you know, rage against the machine. You know, blank, you
you can't do make me do it. I won't do
what you tell me that. I forget what song that is.

(35:39):
But I would just blast that and I'd bitch and
i'd moan, you know. And I didn't realize the impact that.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
That whining has.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
I don't know my own psychology, but then on the
people around me. So that became a big one. So
these these stories are not only based on my evaluation
of training, but also my own personal responses in there too.
So have a positive attitude Mission number one. So mission
I think about that, like just the whining thing. I
had to check myself all the time because now with

(36:07):
a with a wife and a kid, you know, what's
if we're in a stressful situation or or dealing with something,
I mean, our our you know, when our kid was born.
It was I'll just say it was a little bit
of a stressful experience, right. It was kind of a long,
complicated situation. And man, you know what it would have
made a hard situation one hundred worse is if she

(36:29):
looked at me and I'm like, man, I'm really.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Tired, I'm really stressed out. I don't really know what
to do. This is hard, like you did.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Now, can you imagine how much worse I could make
it with my own words?

Speaker 1 (36:41):
I can't imagine. I've seen people do it on a
regular basis.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
And I am stressed, I am tired, I am freaking
out of some degree. And she looks at me and
you know, going through this, and what do I say?

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Oh, you're good, I'm good. No, it's all good, We're fine,
You're gonna be right. That's right, that's right.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
And so that positively it made situation completely differently.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
I go to complain to write later on my own response.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
That's awesome. So you know, mission number two is pet
and live healthy. Right, And the question, and this one
is are you happy with your body and your mind?
And overwhelmingly, you know, most people, unless you're you know
a triathlete, and usually they're even more mental about their
their performance.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Ability than anybody else.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
But I mean, I'd say ninety nine percent of people
on a planet are just not happy with that. And
that's a normal place to be. And so you know,
what do we do?

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Right?

Speaker 2 (37:37):
I think one of the most fundamental aspects.

Speaker 5 (37:40):
Of of of of self confidence is when you are physically,
uh and mentally strong, and so that is the next step, right,
have a positive attitude of what you're going to face,
but then you need to physically and mentally be strong.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Strength is a must.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
Strength. I can't overemphasize it. And I think I've told
this story before. I know I've chatted with you about it, Geordan.
But you know when my children, with my daughters, it
used to be I want my daughters to be intelligent, empathetic,
beautiful human beings. And then as the world, as they
grew older in the world, I came to understand the

(38:21):
world and is as nasty as it is. And I
used to believe a lot of that was just maintained
or contained overseas. But now we know the extent of
what it is in our own shores, you know, we
John and I added in strong. We want our children
to be strong, and so we we we have a
premium on making sure they take care of their bodies,

(38:42):
they eat right, they sleep right, and then also their
mind right. Really to enhance the strength of their mind
and make it real.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
Because you can think about these missions which are good,
having confidence, taking on challenges, have a positive ad Dude,
all great things, but there's something real about like I
don't know if I can do this last push up,
and you see yourself do the last push up. It's real,
It's in reality and you saw it with your eyes,
or something about that that you need.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Well, if you think about it, like if you think
about human beings and the scope of our existence on
the planet, the fundamental reason why we were able to
survive or thrive is because we could move long distances
as tribes with a herd of animals. We could endure
the elements, right, we could figure out food intake and

(39:34):
storing food or all of these things, and then we
were able to build strong structures that could withstand things.
And so that that capacity, that physicality is fundamental and
human experience of strength and our ability to survive and thrive.
And so you know step one and this is your
body is your church. And so you know, I always

(39:55):
give the reference. You know, would you go into church
with a you know, your McDonald's bag and pull out
your cheeseburger and drinking your coke while you're sitting there
in church, right, And the metaphor is that, then why
do you do it every each and every day? And
so you know, just be aware and I and figure
out that if you if you active in the pursuit

(40:16):
of strength physically and mentally, and the things that make
you strong, right, great sleep routines. You know, staying is
far away from from the toxicity of booze and drugs. Right.
A glass of wine, hanging out with your friends all
good every now and then, but if it overwhelms you.
And I've had a lot of friends be destroyed by this.

(40:37):
A lot of my friends are dead as a result
of alcoholism or addiction. And and you know, and I
flirted with some of that myself as well, you know,
but these are the ideas that you really fixate and
make you strengthen yourself, right, and the idea within that
in the last one step forwardin this is training never ends.
There's never a time where you're done staying strong and

(40:59):
so that's that's that's the second part of this all right,
So mission iree motivate yourself and others, right, and the
other the question there is how many motivational triggers do
you have? Like what are the specific elements of relationships,
of activity, of pt of dining, of hanging out, what

(41:20):
are the specific moments where you feel motivated?

Speaker 5 (41:24):
Right?

Speaker 2 (41:24):
And then once you're in there and you've got a
good sense of yourself, right, how do you motivate others?
Because that's I'll tell you what this was a massive
component of why I actually even made it through. But
literally I was at the moment after my second injury
where the base training officer basically said, listen, dude, what's
up with you? You know, the doc had told me

(41:48):
to drop me because of injuries, and the base training
over officer went over to the you know, the warrant
officer who ran pTRR and was like, hey, what about
this kid Rutherford? And the only reason I ultimately, you know,
one of the main reasons, was because of this guy.
One of us are reworks basically told the base train officer,
you know, he's a motivator. He really looks out for

(42:10):
his teammates, and if he can make it through, he'll
be a good frogman someday. And and you know, that
little thing that I had done, because I had realized
when I was in my greatest misery, when I was
the most negative in my own head about my poor
performance or what I was incapable of doing, what I

(42:31):
had learned early on playing football and all the other sports,
especially as a quarterback. I'd learned that it was my
job to help the people around me, to lift them
up to get a better performance. So I just employed
that tactic in buds and it made me as I
started motivating others, made me forget about my own misery.
And so that component of being able to motivate yourself

(42:54):
and others, they're they're correlated there. It's a critical thing.
And and and you know, here's one of the things
that you know so many people do, is people get
annoyed by motivated people. Right, You're like, dude, shut up, right,
don't don't come over here with that false motivation. Well, well,
guess what, go ahead and be that guy or that girl,

(43:16):
because it matters. It matters more than you think, and
even matters to the sour pusses, to the hard asses,
to the negative nancies over there. You know, it matters,
It has an impact, and hell Step four is false
motivation is better note of motivation at all.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
You know.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
One of the great aspects of special operations is when
you know, in the most miserable moment, someone you know
makes a joke about it. That dark humor, if you will,
like true misery, when someone makes a statement that's just
hilarious when everybody's miserable, So you know, surround yourself by
those people, it really makes a huge thing. What's up, Team,

(43:54):
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(44:17):
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(44:41):
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(45:02):
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Speaker 1 (45:11):
Thank you very much in godspeed.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Mission for you got to earn respect, right and to
recognize that you're accountable for that mission every day. So
many young people, I think believe they just deserve respect
because there upright have opposable thumbs and a TikTok account right,
And so you literally are are like, man, I deserve

(45:39):
respect because I'm breathing. Well, I'm here to tell you
that's complete. Bs.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
There's no way you deserve anyone. You don't nobody deserve.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
You don't know what he owes you anything, period, end
of sense anyway, shape for no matter what you've gone
through with, nobody owes you squat and we learn that,
right and so every day, But what am I trying
to do. I'm trying to get it to the point where,
just like I'm doing with you right now listening to
me on this microphone, I'm trying to earn your respect.

(46:11):
I'm trying to tell you and share with you and
be you know, be honest with you and be open
to you and to share with you so that you
know that rapport initiates that trust, because that's what respect emerges,
is built on this trust that we feel in connection
with each other. That's fundamental to self confidence. Because when

(46:32):
trust doesn't exist in your relationships, what happens? You don't
feel self confidence about anything. You just don't. It's just
part of it. But when you are actively engaging like
we were every single day, I remember it. It was
just every day. I just wanted those instructors to look
at me and be like, not even like.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Way to go, Ruther Ferd, you know, way to go
to way to take that on the.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Chin and come back, you know, I didn't even want that,
just wanted them to look at me and not have
that underlying layer of disgust under on their face that
like you worthless piece. You know, my favorite aspect in
training was you know, you'd ask an instructor like a
pretty poignant question about moving forward or something, and they'd say, well, Ron,

(47:21):
in the unlikely event that you do pass that ele
of you know, evolution, uh, you you might get onto
this right and not even like giving you that. And
if they told you.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
You were not terrible at something, that's like about the
highest compliment you could ever receive in your life.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
Well you could even distill it down before that. If
you do something and you don't get barked at, you
don't get shouted at or pointed out comment, just no
comment as a win. I mean, that's that's how that's
how intense it is. And so you know you are
accountable for that. You no one else. You're accountable to
seek out the respect of the organization, the team, the

(48:02):
relationships you're in, your children, your friends, that's on you,
and you need to be able to do that every day.
And so, you know, a couple ideas within earned respect.
Number one is the most important. Just don't lie.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Now.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
I know that's hard, because we live in a society
where talent lies. We tell them pretty regularly, pretty easily,
in order to protect the people we care most about.
That's what most people. Most people lie and listen. Every
human being lies, period. Every single person lies. It doesn't
matter a brilliant guy that you pen studied lie in
a long time.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Everybody lies.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
And the place we lie the most is where we
lie to ourselves most. And what that idea ideation of
respect actually is, like, Oh, everybody in my class thinks
I'm squared away. Meanwhile you get peer reviewed and like
everybody thinks you suck, and so this illusion is destroyed.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
But then you're like you double down, like, no, they're
just idiots. No they're not.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
They're telling you something. You got to listen. You're not
doing what you need to do. You're not seek you're
not doing the actions to get people's respect, you know.
And the other one is the willingness for you to
do the work. I don't think you get to jump
in line for one type of uh because you have
some plaque on the wall. Right, just because I'm a

(49:19):
Navy seal doesn't mean you should clart Blanc listen to
what I have to say at all, you know, not
even close. In fact, you should question what I'm telling
you in a deep level and then listen to what
I have to say and does it make sense? Do
I have information to support it? Am I genuine and

(49:40):
how I'm talking to you? And and and so that's
a big thing to do the work and show the
people to earn that respect, you know. So now that's it,
all right, Mission number five. You've got to be able
to set realistic goals for yourself, right, and this real
question is what's your purpose in life?

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Now?

Speaker 2 (49:59):
I know like that. That's the massive question. I've talked
about that extensively in the past and the last show
I did about frog Logic is you know what is
your purpose? And it's a very difficult thing to answer
that question. Well, if you don't know what your purpose is,
then then set a goal on something, take aim at something,
and then try and achieve that goal. And that even

(50:20):
if it's as small as you know, what I want
to be on time in every appointment I have for
the next thirty days, no matter what. In fact, you
know in buds, you know the old saying is if
you're not five minutes early, you're late. Well, we in
my class, we reduced that all the way down. If
you're fifteen minutes you're early, you're late. And so that
has been ingrained in me my entire existence. And think

(50:43):
about that, you're meeting somebody important for the first time,
and you show up seven minutes late, twenty minutes late,
automatically you've lost their respect, right, And so the goal
of that self confidence showing up on time with steadfast,
that gives you that good platform to begin on first impression, right.
And so within that setting goals, you know, really make

(51:05):
sure you understand how to set a good goal, proper
mission planning, and then stop being fixated on the goal.
I'll never forget like. It took me six months, I
think for me to let go of the fact of
all I thought about was graduating, like and the best
advice I've ever been given. There are a lot of

(51:27):
people the typical advice is just think about the next
time you eat chow right, think about that, or just
think about finishing the evolution. It got so intense for
me that I reduced that all the way down, as
you know, just just think about the order I was
just giving and trying to perform that order as best
as I can right now in the moment. And as

(51:48):
long as I slowed it down to that capacity, man,
I was able to not fixate on a space that
I had no idea, you know, all the steps that
were included in that. I was able to distill the
goal down and do an attainable goal right in front
of me, and that that that's critical.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Had a good analogy one time that was like, if
you're driving in the middle of the night, you got
to drive to the next state over. You can't see
to the next stay, but with your headlights you can see.
You know, however many feet in front of you. As
you just see that and follow the road where your
headlights are, you actually do end up getting all the
way there one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
But you got to know where you're going, right, right,
That's that's gay. You have to have a plan of
where you want to go. Don't just go drive. Although
there is some aspect of wandering the water loss and
you go back to Jack Kerouac's on the road, that's
different though. Yeah, that's a different construct, right, That's when
you're really trying to find yourself and it can be
this free, free roaming, and then you know, and then

(52:46):
you can find some things. But and then at the
end of your goals, make sure you debrief what you
did wrong, what you did right, learn, and then repeat
all right number five, So number six, live with integrity.
Out of all the virtues out there, this is one
of the most important ones that I believe, and and
and the question I ask people is does honor guide
your behavior? Right? Are you when you do something, are

(53:09):
you hope that there's a modicum of honor in what
you're doing and why you're doing it? Or is it nefarious?
Is it machiavellian? Are you trying to your what's your
what's your mo o? What's your modus operandi? Right? What's
your intention? Are you trying to manipulate? Or are you
genuinely trying to achieve something that's beneficial not only for
yourself but for your team? And so, you know, mission

(53:32):
six is an interesting one that you know, know the
difference between right and wrong never rest on the success
of your last mission, and so and there's a couple
other in there too, But living with integrity is one
of the primary things we really learn because if you
don't have integrity, your teammate's not going to trust you.
If your teammate doesn't trust you, he's not gonna want

(53:52):
to go to war with you. And so think about that.
How you have to live up to that, and integrity
is a big one. It's like in the photo I
use is from log PT. If if your boat crew
stinks and you get called out, it's usually because there's
because when you do the log PT, you've got this
giant pole over your head. You got your seven man
boat crew, and you're doing push ups with it, you're

(54:15):
doing sit ups. Well, if two or three guys aren't
really touching that pole and the rest of the weight
disperses on the other four guys, you feel that, and
so it's like, hey, man, get your damn hands under
the pole. And what's happening Like you're faking.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
It, You're you don't.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
You're losing the integrity of the pain everybody else is feeling.
And that's not cool. And what ultimately happens is, oh,
your boat crew doesn't want to work together. We'll go
get on that one over there that's double the size.
It's called old misery. So you go from a three
hundred pound thing to like a four something four hundred

(54:52):
pound pole, and you want to talk about misery, you
want to talk about integrity. In that one, nobody escapes
the pain of old misery. And that's what happens if
you live without integrity. It's an inevitability you will have
to confront and face the pain of your lack of
effort and integrity. All right, go back and listen to
Coach Swider's episode. It's episode early thirties in our in

(55:16):
our podcast, he outlines integrity in such a passionate and
clear and inspirational way, more than I think I've ever
heard anybody just just what.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Do you believe and what do you do? Talking about
auditing yourself, I think that was a explanation. If you
want to listen to Coach Swider.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
I think his encapsulation of it was the best almost
I've ever heard. Yeah, absolutely, do yourself favorite re listen
to that episode. It is phenomenal and I've seen it
in action. I know men that that that played for him.
I know a lot of men, and these men are
men of integrity. They really are right the justin of
the world, the JD's, the the all these guys, the

(55:54):
Jonathan's the the Dan, I mean, the Chris, all these
men that played for that man. I mean they are
men of integrity and I really really admire these guys
and what and coach Square too?

Speaker 1 (56:07):
All right?

Speaker 2 (56:07):
Mission seven? Mentoring? All right, when was the last time
you asked for help? Or when was the last time
someone asked for you to help and you were able
to give it? Mentoring is an essential component of self confidence.
Why because when we fail or we're in a jam,
we need help. We need to understand what we're doing wrong.
But if you don't have the courage to go ask
for somebody who knows, then you're going to wander in

(56:31):
the desert, right And that's not what we want. And
you want to be able to have somebody that can
you trust, that you respect, that has integrity, that can
look at you and be like, hey, you're messing this
up right now, and it ain't cool. You're not what
you think you are because you're doing this wrong. And
then you're like, wow, thank you for that. We you

(56:52):
tell me what I should do. And then the other
beautiful aspect of this if you go out and have mentors,
and everybody should have three or four mentors, in their
life every and these are real people dedicated to helping
you get through life. If you once you get through
that place where you think you're like, all right, I
think I got this. And I do this with all
the young men that I mentor and I've went forward
a bunch, is I say to them the one thing

(57:14):
that you're gonna owe me at some point in your life,
an opportunity is gonna come where you're gonna have to
mentor someone else. You're gonna have to lean in and
teach them. And it can't be your own children. It
has to be God's gonna put somebody in front of
your face and you need to mentor them. And they
all respond amazing with that, because the biggest thing in
mentoring step four is you got to share your life
with people, right or what else is it for? Like

(57:37):
you're learning all these incredible things, you got to share that.
And I remember when I would have an instructor like
lean into me specifically and be like, hey, rut, you
need to learn this because I learned this, and you're like,
good god Man, thank you. That's the feeling I love
to feel. Right, It was incredible, all right? Mission eight

(57:59):
final mission is to have fun. And the question I
asked is, you know, when was the last time you
peed your pants from laughing so hard? Jordy, when was
the last time you let a little couple drops fall
out because you're peeing?

Speaker 1 (58:12):
You're laughing so hard, dude, laughing that hard? Oh man?

Speaker 2 (58:16):
All right, if it's not be your pants, what's the
last time you snorted or you cackled, or you bent
over you had a stitch in your side?

Speaker 1 (58:23):
When was the last time?

Speaker 3 (58:24):
It was probably over a year ago, honestly, which is sad,
but I remember when it was. It was just being
super silly and dumb with my wife. We just got
laughing about something and that's what we do. But it
was uncontrollable laughter. And it's a rare thing, but it's
it's one of the best things. I'm glad you just said.
It's a rare thing. If you're listening right now, think

(58:45):
to yourself, when was the last time that you had
that moment where laughter consumed you because the joy of
the moment that you were existing in. You want to
talk about self confidence when you can be in that
state and you can find humor or the interpretation of
your existence or the assessment of your life or the

(59:06):
reactivity of a relationship or a statement or funny, man.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
That's that's the place, like, that's the moment.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Now, those moments are few and far between, obviously, and
so it's critical to put to think about it intentionally.
I want to have fun in this, this pursuit of
this ambition and and and and you know, granted you're like,
oh what what if it's really painful? I mean there
are moments and buds where you must have been miserable. Yeah,
but those moments I'll never forget. I you know, had

(59:36):
guy like guys like bing would say something hilarious, man,
and how we can I just look over and I
just start cracking up in the midst of my misery.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
And I'd be like.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
Whoa and woa, Joe and and Adam and and you know,
Jeff and and all these amazing peep Mark and and
and I'm you know, they would say things and they
would just that laughter would is causing elation that would
lift you above the misery and reset that self confidence
to drive forward.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Probably the things you can't stay on a podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Oh bro, That's why I'm gonna go on my friend
Ryan's podcast. Liberty Risk here in the next few weeks,
and I'll say a bunch of those those stories there,
So pay attention to the Liberty Risk podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
So within the step one, obviously have fun laugh it
off all right. If you are miserable something's going wrong,
figure out how to laugh it off, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
We do that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I think Special Operations guys do that better than almost
anybody on a planet. Why Because it's gonna suck, right,
no matter what. You got to embrace the suck. And
the easiest way to do is just laugh it off.
Oh we just got in trouble. We got to go
put on a sixty five pound ruck and rock for
twenty clicks in the middle of the desert.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Well, hell, this is awesome, isn't it. You know? And
you laugh it off, right.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
And the other one is really figure out how to
love yourself and to love your teammates. Right. That's there's
no greater sensation of fun joy, just that that feeling
you feel when you're when you really truly love yourself
and you love your team. If you're struggling with that,

(01:01:15):
find somebody who does love themselves.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
For me, my core, I go to Christ. I know
Christ loves me no matter where I am, what I'm
going through. What is it That's the gift, That's the
gift of his sacrifice, That's the gift of the word
to me. I know my wife loves me. Sometimes she
gets angry and a little pissed off at me, but
I know she loves me. I know my children love me.

(01:01:38):
You know, my friends, my family members. You know, I
know that love is real. And so when you have that,
when you're facing really profound, insurmountable challenges, man, that love
is what drives you. It's what keeps your self confidence intact,
you know. And and I look at my teammates throughout
my experience and friends of theirs and people we've lost. Yes,

(01:02:00):
you know, you know you ask them, you know, why
why do you Why did they do that? Or why
did they sacrifice for you? And the only answer people
give is because they love me. And today, by the way,
it's my brother's birthday. And just want to tell him,
I love you so much, man, uh, And I just
love that you're my brother, my actual brother, my blood brother.
You can find him on Instagram at mister Rutherford. And

(01:02:23):
you know, and I think about that, and yesterday was
the anniversary of Mark Lee's death, and I watched all
his close teammates from you know, Task Force Bruiser post
these beautiful tributes to him, and you could tell there
was this profound love in them. They missed him, they

(01:02:45):
they remembered, they were they were able to invoke those
memories of this really amazing human being. And I've had
the opportunity to meet, uh, Mama Lee Mark America's Mighty Warriors.
She has a great foundation. Check that out, Mama Lee.
Mighty Warriors. Donate to it. How they do amazing work.

(01:03:05):
I've had a lot of friends utilize them. Wonderful. But
you can see these people truly love him, and and
that's something that comes out of that's that idea of
having fun and having fun is incorporated in the idea
of love. So, you know, these are these eight missions.
You can find these on our website at David Rutherford

(01:03:27):
dot com where there's a special gut going on right now.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Go check that out.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
And I just you know, self confidence is this fragile thing,
and we need to have a system in place that
really can help us rebuild it. The system that you
know when you feel like you know the sky has
fallen in the tsunami is going to hit you at
whatever metaphor it is, or nobody loves you. You know,

(01:03:54):
you have to have a system that you can rehabilitate
that self confidence because without that self confidence, just like
I go back to that moment with those children and
I see them, and you're in an Afghanistan and you've
got to realize that, you know, Afghanistan is about as
impoverished as you get. And you hear the stories about,

(01:04:15):
you know, little girls trying to go to school and
being burned or being raped, and little boys being you know,
the pedophilia going on in the culture, the eye for
an eye culture that exists, and you know, like, how
are these young people gonna experience life at a higher degree?

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
How are all the.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Young people in America or older people that are experiencing
profound mental health challenges? How are they going to experience
life as we deserve it to be experienced, which is
through a perception of a confident perspective where we can
figure out what our purpose and meaning and life is.

(01:04:56):
And that's by figuring out how to keep that self
confidence intact on whatever battlefield that you face every single day. Again,
where Jordan and I feel so blessed that you listen
to us, that you pay attention to the show, that
you're paying attention to what we're doing and how we're
trying to help. And I just if if this message

(01:05:19):
hits you and you feel good and it makes a difference,
just give us a shot. Head over to David Rutherford
dot dot com and check out the course of Forging
Self Confidence. We also have embraced fear in living the
team life. But I put all this together for you
because that's what my mission in life is. That's what

(01:05:40):
my purpose is is to try and take these experiences and.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
What I've learned and to help other people. Thank you
so much, God bless you.