October 23, 2023 • 48 mins
In this episode of the Karol Markowicz Show, Karol is joined by Bridget Phetasy to discuss various topics ranging from celebrity gossip to personal life changes. Karol expresses her interest in celebrity gossip and the need for more focus on the positive aspects of relationships. Bridget shares her experiences of moving from LA to Texas, the challenges she faced, and the sense of community she found. They also discuss the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on children and families, personal success, and societal problems in America. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Monday & Thursday.
Follow Clay & Buck on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/clayandbuck
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, Welcome back to the Carol Marcowa show. I'm all
about the celebrity gossip.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I really am.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
And it's actually kind of crazy because the joke is
that I don't watch TV or movies really at all.
I watch like a few movies a year. I don't
think I have any shows going right.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Now at all.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I haven't seen any of the big ones.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm just not a TV movie person. So the fact
that I read about all of these people and I
don't know who they are is kind of funny. I
read all their stories, and it's partially because I write
a column at the New York Posts, so I read
the paper every day and there's a lot of celebrity
stuff in there. There was a headline a few days
(00:48):
ago that was I actually wrote this down because I
knew I wouldn't be able.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
To remember it.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Ali Krieger's brother.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hints at Ashlyn Harris infidelity, amid Sophia Bush Romans. I
don't know who any of these people are. Did I
click it and read it? Of course, yes I did.
And a few months ago, the big juicy story out
of the reality world was scandal val from the show
vander Pump Rules. There was a longtime couple on the show,
(01:15):
and the guy cheated with a friend of his girlfriends
who was also on the show. And I mean, I
read everything about it, and I haven't seen one minute
of this show, but I knew what was going on
with that love triangle. There's nothing wrong with liking celebrity gossip.
There's a cottage industry around it, specifically because people.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Like me do click and read.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
And I know women get criticized for like being into
this kind of stuff, but I really don't see it
as wildly different than men watching ESPN and you know,
catching up on what their latest and what their favorite
players are doing lately. But the point of all this
is it makes me think that we know so so
much about how relationships fall apart. We get all the
(01:59):
gory detis, we see the aftermath, the pain. We see
a lot less of how people fall in love, how
their relationship grows. All the good stuff is really hidden away.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And that's not wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Exactly, as the philosopher Mick Jagger once said, he actually
had a solo country album he recorded where he's saying
love is fragile, you hide it from the light.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
And I fully believe in that as well.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think that you should keep your relationship, you know,
as private as you possibly can. And that's why it's
so normal to go out with your friends and complain
about your husband, but so much rarer to go out
and just gush about him. Right, there's also this element
of courting bad luck. This is big in my Russian
Jewish world. We don't talk too much about good things
(02:47):
or you might lose them.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And I get it.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I mean, I'm very superstitious. Actually it's sort of embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I knock on wood, I.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Do this like three spit thing that we do.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It's like too too too.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And of course the part of me that worries if
I talk about my happiness too much, if I talk
about the good things in my life, if I talk
about how happy my marriage is and how obsessed I
am with my husband, the things that we do to
improve our relationship, what works that you know, he'll leave
me for his secretary and I'll look like a fool.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That's obviously a crazy way to live.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
And I acknowledge that. And when you do live like that,
when you keep happiness or joy or the good things,
the secret what ends up happening is people only hear
the bad parts, especially about things like relationships. And you
have people online who push this idea that singlehood is
just the best, and it goes unchallenged because they could
(03:41):
say singlehood is the best and then if they meet
someone change their mind get married. No one is going
to be like, haha, you were wrong. And I can
tell you that from experience, because I spent my twenties
saying that marriage was basically for suckers, and no one
was at my wedding saying, hey, didn't you say? But
we imagine someone will mock us if we say our
(04:03):
marriage is amazing and then it somehow fails, and like,
I assure you, they won't. I know that this is
you know, I'm telling this to you, but I'm also
saying this to myself. It's a thing that people are
worried about, but it's just never going to happen, because
we all ultimately know the truth even when we don't
say it, that a good relationship is way better than
good singlehood. And maybe we don't need to pretend that
(04:26):
we have it all figured out or that our relationship
is bulletproof and definitely definitely going.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
To last forever.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Maybe the next time you get together with your girlfriends,
you just say one nice thing about your husband. You
don't have to gush if you don't want to, Just
one really positive thing. And obviously not just women, but
I just feel like women talk about their husbands more
than men talk about their wives. But when guys get together,
it's so clear who's really into his wife. I just
(04:55):
don't think that men do the same kind of emoting
and complaining sessions as women do. But yeah, if you're
a man listening to this, say one nice thing about
your wife. Next time you're together with your guy friends.
Let them know that it's normal to be in good, happy,
healthy relationships. In any case, don't keep it a secret
if you're happy. Reality stars who are happy don't make
(05:16):
the news, But that doesn't mean that happy marriages don't exist,
and it's important to show that they do. Less the
bad news completely overwhelms the good. We could really use
that good news. We could really use that positivity. If
you're happy in your life, in your marriage and your relationship,
say so. Don't worry about you know, jinxing yourself or something.
(05:36):
We need that good news to overwhelm the bad.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's very important for all of us.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Coming up after the break, my interview with Bridget Betas
and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show. My next
guest is my friend, Bridget Betasie. Bridget is a writer,
comedian and host of the podcast Walkins Welcome and YouTube
show dumpster Fire and us in All Around gem Hi, Bridget,
(06:02):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Thank you for having me. I'm so exciting here.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm so happy to have you.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
You were on my very short list of the first
guests I wanted to have on I met you several
years ago when you were living in LA and I
was living in New York, and we met on the internet,
as people do, and we hit it off right away.
And your life has changed a little bit since then.
You got married, you had a baby, you moved to Texas.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Tell us about that.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's been quite a journey since we met.
I mean you you no longer are in New York,
which I thought would never in a billion years. I'm
wearing my New York T shirt and honor of Carol, actually,
because you were saying you'd never leave, and I didn't
think i'd ever really leave LA, even though yeah, I
(06:53):
just more and more could not afford to live there.
I ford to live the life I wanted to live there.
Once I had a child, you have to kind of
be a multi millionaire to give your kid or kids
the life that I would like to give my daughter.
(07:14):
But even before I had kids, we were looking at
leaving my husband and I. The COVID policies were just
so crazy and never it felt like never ending.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
And being somebody who traveled around America.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
During COVID and the world, I was like, you know,
people aren't living like this.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
It was so crazy.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
You would drive we would go see my in laws
in Arizona and the kids were just running around.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
It was like another world.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
It was so wild, and I would go back to
California and it was the mentality was so locked down.
You know, their own minds were locked down from even
considering that there might be another way, and that other
people did their two weeks and then basically went back
to normal and they were like two years in, still
(08:01):
masking kids. It was nuts, and that was you know,
there were moments where I was like, ah, maybe the
population will push back, but then I realized that I
was really the one that was out of lockstep and
that the population agreed with what was determined to be
in their best interest by their leaders, and I just disagreed.
(08:24):
And I love the fact that I live in America
and I can move absolutely.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
It was so weird because I thought, you know, things
that I thought would move people, like when Gavin Newsom's
kid got to go to school but the public school
kids didn't get to go. I thought like stuff like
that would really motivate people to be like, no, this
is unfair. I'm going to fight this, and they were like, yeah,
all right, makes sense. The governor's kid goes to school
and mine doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I just that was sort of the kind of thing
that really soured me on New York on LA, because
you know, I love to La. LA was always our
you know, backup plan, like, oh, new York, you know,
something goes wrong with New York, We're going to go
to LA, which is of course hilarious now, But the
(09:10):
fact that people just accepted it was just difficult for
me to take and something I couldn't then see.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
And I'm sure that was the case for you.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
So yeah, in Texas, I it's an adjustment.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
I'm to make one point before I talk about Texas
and my increasing love for it. One of the wildest
kind of upside down howevery it feels like every party
has kind of changed. The weirdest thing to me is
how anti authoritarian the right has become. They're kind of
(09:43):
known to be the party that is, you know, followers
authority and trust authority, and the left was generally the
people who were like, damn the man. And it's so
that was really strange in covid to see that that
was that that transition had fully. It was just both
(10:08):
parties completely flipped.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
On that, and that was wild. I'm like, I'm going
to a red state to be.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
You know, more they're they're more open and more questioning
of this than the blue states.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
That's wild to me. And yes, Texas.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
I we moved in May and then it got very
hot and I was there was definitely a part of
me that was like the the will Arnt meme from
I've made a huge mistake, you know, I like moved
here and I was like, oh no, we're very isolated
art We had family there, which was what made the
(10:47):
decision so hard, and we the healthcare system here is
not the same at all as it was in California.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
So I don't know.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I'm not sure if I'm totally incorrect, but as far
as I've researched and my husband and I have looked,
you can't really get a private PPO, so you can only.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Get an HMO.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
And I've never had to deal with what people have
to deal with, and oh my god, it is like
it's crazy. Actually, it's so Our healthcare system is so broken,
fundamentally broken. And if I could fix one thing in
this country and wish that some kind of presidential candidate
(11:35):
would address this, it's just that.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And I had like a.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Health issue right away when I got here and had
to get a doctor to get permission to go see
another it was correct. I was like, what is this
Because you can get private PP you can be an.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Individual and get an individual.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
PPO plan in California, so I paid for my health care.
But I had great healthcare and here that initially that
was another thing where I was like, oh, shoot, this
is not not the same. Yeah, and then and then
worrying that, you know, I want my daughter to be
able to like play outside in the summer and like
(12:13):
I did all day long and it's one hundred and
six degrees for three months and that that stuff.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
I mean, kids are raised here, so yeah, I assume
the honesty, like I love the like you know, it's
not perfect and it's not like just all problems are
instantly solved by moving, which you know, I think when
I was publicly discussing wanting to get out of New
York or just how difficult things were in New York,
(12:43):
I think a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Would just comment, like, just move, just move. Well, it's
not that easy.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Everybody says that, Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I mean, I love Florida. I've I haven't regretted it
for one second, and I think, you know, all around,
it's been amazing for our family. But I know people
who have moved during this time and they don't love
where they ended up, and you know, they didn't get
to like try it out for a little while first,
and just it's really tough to uproot your whole life,
and yeah, kinds of changes, and the fact that people
(13:12):
on the internet are so cavalier about it, like oh,
just move, like.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Yeah, it's crazy, and it's it's I think it would be.
You know. One of the things I noticed inside of
me was this resistance to allow myself to feel not
regret because I don't regret. I see the news coming
out of California and there's no regret at all. Right,
the question maybe would have been, should I have gone
(13:37):
all the way and just moved back home to the
East coast where my family is and that feels like retirement,
Like my family's in Rhode Island, Massachusetts area, And sure
there are cities around, but I'm not. There's there's so
much industry here in Austin where I am, and there's
(13:57):
so many people in my industry, and it feels.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Kind of like a boom town.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And the comedy world is booming, and there's just podcasting.
There's so many people in my space. And so one
of the reasons we came here was because I I
don't make I don't I can't retire yet.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, all right, we're getting there, you know.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah, we're getting there. Not as fast as I'd like,
but yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
And there was this resistance to kind of look at
the trade offs and and when my husband, Jaren, and
I were evaluating this, it.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Was not easy.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
How do you how do you put on a list
like Grandma lives here, that's not something you can quantify
and It's like we always talk about Thomas Soul being
like there are no solutions, only trade offs and to
our fundamental problems we were having in California. We could
never get outside of the governance there, and that was
(14:50):
that was something no matter where we moved, because people
were like move to move to like a red state,
moved to the OC or moved and it wouldn't have
mattered with this state from the top down. Was still
was is problem. It's these problems are going to take
decades to fix. And some things are better you know there,
(15:11):
I can't. They're like, for instance, I think they probably
deal with healthcare a little bit better there than they
do here, and maybe that will improve as there's more
and more and more and more and more and more
people moving here.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I it's insane, actually, And.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I just didn't want to be one of those people
that I always joke like, never listen, never take life
advice from your rich friends, because they when you're at
a certain when you're at a certain level of wealth,
you're not dealing with the problems average people are going
to deal with no matter where you move or where
you go, because you are you're removed for most of
(15:53):
that anyway, like, never take life advice from someone who
flies private. Oh yeah, they probably don't easy call business
advice from them, but probably not dealing with the same
problems that you're dealing with when you move to a
new state.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
They're definitely not packing their own boxes, you.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Know, they're definitely not sure dealing with transferring their business
and everything that that looks like. They're definitely not probably
even aware that there's differences between HM always and PPOs
because they have boutique you know, private healthcare wherever they go.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So I'm sorrious to say I really don't know that
much about healthcare plans, uh, just because.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
My husband is his department. But yeah, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go learn.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
But yeah, you know, like we have our he doesn't
know a lot of the things that I know about either, So.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Yeah, no, everybody's got their their lanes.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
I just think that you have to really know when
you make these decisions exactly the things that you're going
to be dealing with, and some of the things you
can't really know until you get there. And I I
also think like I moved a lot growing up. I
moved every year and a half, and so I was
so resistant to moving because I just I have a
(17:08):
pathological hatred of moving. The sound of that moving tape
gives me like PTSD from my childhood.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
It's just crazy.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
My daughter used to cry when she was a baby
and she would hear that, and I was like, this
is proof of intergenerational drama.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Absolutely, I now believe it's real. So why is she
trying at this sound?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
She knows she's felt it.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, so you mentioned there's like an active podcasting scene
and an active comedy scene.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
But you know, one of the topics I like to
cover on the show is making friends in adulthood and yeah,
have you made friends? Have you made like you know, yeah,
for friends?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Friends?
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Yeah, that's something I mean, Mom, friends is such a
weird thing. I'm getting used to that. I'm in the
suburbs and that's weird too, Like I was such an
urban supremacist, you know, I think you were to a
certain extent. And yeah, there's so many things about the
suburbs that I love, and they are made for people
(18:11):
with families, truly. It's just and the suburbs that I'm
living is super diverse. There's tons because there's so many
people in tech here. So it's like tons of Indian
families are moving in in my neighborhood and it's just
it's awesome. Actually, I love how it's a lot of
first generation Americans because I feel like they my they
(18:34):
love America, as you know, and they really appreciate it.
And that's something that I felt was another thing that
my husband and I would see was being lost in
our city of Los Angeles, Like even if you flew
an American flag, you were worried people were going to
be like, oh, there's the Maga couple on the street,
(18:57):
so that that's really different. And here everyone flies American
flags and Texas flags and is proud to be in
the country and that love that nice.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
It was nice to be here around on the fourth
of July there was like a little parade and the
we're going to develop.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I mean so many things that if you had.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Told me when I was in my twenties in Los
Angeles that this would be my future, I would have
been like, you're give me whatever drugs.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
You're on, I need them.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
But it turns out the people like this lifestyle because
it's easier in a.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Lot of ways.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I want to hear the answer to whether or not
you've made friends, though.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Yeah, I'm making friends.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
And one of the things that I've really really we're
reading in my subscriber community. We started a book club
and we're reading Bowling Alone because I've been obsessed with
this idea of this loss of community and it eroding
the fabric of society and seeing how this summer I
felt a real pivot to people wanting to be back
(20:00):
in real life. The concert everything like traveling concerts, comedy,
all of those places were booming. And you see kind
of which I actually think is good. Maybe not great
for my business, but good in general for America.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Is this.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
They're not spending as much time online, They're not spending
as much time and money on on all of this stuff,
subscribers and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
So but podcasts, right.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Yeah, but listen to our podcasts for everything else.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I understand you don't.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, I know it's not great podcasts you should listen to.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
There are a lot of refugees from the Motherland here,
lots of Californians who have left, and I there are
a lot of people in tech and it's just making
that effort. I had the women from the podcast ascad
You on a couple.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Love them.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yeah, well they're amazing, but.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Talking about Yeah, she was talking about how like community
isn't going to come to you.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
You've got to open your house up and have people
over for dinner.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
And so I've really and my friend Alana and her
husband have moved here from San Francisco. He's a Rabbi
and they have a they're trying to dig into community.
So they've invited us as kind of I guess like
honorary Jews to all of these things.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
And it's but it really is just saying yes to everything.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
We went to this amazing ranch that these Texans, they're
like born and raised Texans, invited us to and that
was so incredible over Labor Day weekend and yeah we went.
We went to like a farm the other day and
got pumpkins. And so I'm just the more I do that,
the more I feel rooted and grounded in Texas, and
(21:55):
the more I really start to love it.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
We're going to take a quick break and you're right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. Saying yes to everything
is just also very difficult. I like, I'm trying I'm
definitely trying. We're almost it'll be in January, it'll be
two years. And like you, I already knew a lot
of people here, so it's not like I don't have,
(22:19):
you know, a universe, but I have struggled to make
kind of the friends that you make. I feel like
you're a little bit lucky in this way because your
your daughter's young, and I think, hey, your kid's too,
My kids too, like let's hang out. But my kids
are thirteen, ten and seven, and they have their own
friends already, and it's like it's not quite the same
as like just clicking with a mom at the park
(22:41):
or something like that. Yeah, we're working on it the whole,
making friends, like with neighbors and with people in our community.
We have these new neighbors from Connecticut who we like
a lot. You know, they just also move down to
Florida for the freedom to escape the communism, and we
them a lot. But in general, it just it takes
(23:02):
work and it takes time, and it's hard to do
as an adult because you feel like you should already
have all your friends made and yet here we are,
like you know, starting anew.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
And everyone's so busy. Yeah, everyone is so busy, so hard.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Yeah, the kids have so many activities and sports and
stuff like that, we're barely seeing each other, let alone
like finding time for new people. But opening your home,
that's I think such a good call and like, really
what I feel like I should probably do more of.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Yeah, I've really been loving my neighbors. And there's so
many littles in my neighborhood too. It's like there's a
little baby boom in this neighborhood. So h and everybody's
just so warm. Our neighbors made us brisket when we
moved in, and now they're having a baby. You know,
she's having a baby. So I've been helping her with
like giving her tons of stuff and helping. And there's
(23:56):
a very angry Facebook for them for the development, as
as there is for every single one development.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
But it's also a great place to be, Like I
have baby clothes, you know, I have Like who needs
a pregnancy pillow? I don't need it. So yeah, and
it's weird.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
It's just I'm not used to like the having to
make mom friends and stuff, and and she's just loves people,
so I try to really like the local library has
story hours, so we've been doing that and I've met
some moms there and we've exchanged numbers but haven't done
anything yet.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
But it's right, you're gonna You're gonna find them. You're
going to find your people. And I, you know, I
think I am too. I think it's just you know, again,
it takes takes a minute to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's like an awkward thing too.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Yeah, and it's awkward being not not because the weird
thing that's happened to me in Texas that didn't really
happen to me in LA is that I get recognized
a lot more here.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
When I go out and about and it's and it's
very very strange and weird.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
And it's like somebody and the development group saw me
in there and they were like, I'm so glad you
live in our development and that was weird.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
I'm like, oh, I shouldn't I should I even be
in this group.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
So there are strange things like that, But then it
makes I get insecure because I'm like, does this person
already hate me? You know, Like when I'm in these
like mommy groups where I'm like, maybe someone recognizes me
and they're like, I hate that be from Twitter, you know,
like GIRLA or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure they all love you.
I mean, who's not going to love you?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
A lot of people.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
But you know, I was scrolling on your Twitter earlier
today and I saw some terrible opinions that you have,
so maybe maybe you're not totally off, but like you
tweeted that, I was gonna.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Be like about it.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Just d.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
You get the Pete Davidson thing? Explain that to me.
I do not.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
I never got it. I never ever got it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Until I saw to get it what I said, I
continue not to get it.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Yeah, I never got it until I saw that opening,
because I could see him struggling to be somewhat opening. Yeah,
he hosted Saturday Night Live. For people who don't know,
Pete Davidson hosted Saturday Live. He did the monologue, as
you do when you're the host, and it was obviously
(26:33):
a fraught Saturday to.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Be doing a monologue. There's a lot of tension in
the world.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
For people who also don't know, it would be amazing
listening to this podcast and like not knowing, You're like,
what's going on?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
What's she talking about?
Speaker 5 (26:49):
And so he did his best a thread, I think,
a very difficult needle on a show where you're gonna
piss everybody off no matter what you say, no one's
going to be happy with really, and he made it
personal and then talked about how his father was killed
in a terrorist attack, and in that moment, I was like.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I suddenly was like tell me I want I want
to rescue I see.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Because I keep waiting for him to be funny, and.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I just know he's like a mommy's well.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
And also the thing that I really identified with is
I had a not easy upbringing and using comedy because
I was just doing I did something on Thursday night.
It was the Normal World show at the Blaze, and
we're all comedians and we were all joking before we
even started recording it, and we were like, we can't
make any of.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
These jokes because I was like, this is just a
copy mechanism. I don't know, I don't it is I got.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
I used to get yelled at it when I was
in rehab for making too many jokes and laughing, but
it was just how I coped with a hard situation.
So between him kind of being this like seeing the
brokenness inside of him, and then and then hearing how
also Delirious saved me when my parents got divorced. So
(28:12):
he talks about Eddie Murphy's Delirious, So I personally related
to that and all of those things.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
And I was like, okay, okay, I kind of get it.
I kind of.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Understand how he gets the hottest woman on earth repeatedly
because he uses humor to cope and he's there's something
about him that you want to just like I wanted
to hug him when he was talking about that.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
We're gonna just you know, this is one of those.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
We're gonna have to agree to disagree, but I'm not
going to try to cancel you because of your terrible opinion.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
You know, put me on let it go.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Yeah, So you mentioned rehab, and I know that you
recently celebrated ten years.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Of no this this coming? When does this go on?
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Come next week?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Okay? So recently yep, yep, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
To your recently celebrated ten years of sobriety. And you've
been very public about your sobriety journey.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So what's it been like?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I mean, it is ten years is nuts? Ten years.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
I've had a lot of anniversaries obviously in nine other ones,
and it's impressive.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
It's really it's probably.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
When you get sober ten years is like science fiction.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
It's just like you're lying.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
No one's been sober that long's it's not something I
ever would have considered to be possible for myself. I
couldn't even make it ten hours or ten days in
early sobriety.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
That's just so far off. And it's so.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Strange to look at how my life has changed in
that decade.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
A lot of it is because I got sober, but.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
Also just little things, thinking like I haven't had a
hangover it in ten years.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Wow, that's crazy. I haven't had to wake up and
be like, oh what did I say?
Speaker 5 (30:06):
Or wonder that I ran my mouth too much at
a dinner party, or I don't know, there are just
so many or figured out where I was even, you know,
like drop a pin and tell me where I am, sire,
that's happened.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
There are just so many, so many gifts.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
And then I think about how at the beginning, when
I got sober, I went to this meeting and rolled
my eyes at a guy who was like, everything in
my life should be stamped property of AA because I'm
in twelve step recovery.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
And I was like, ah, like right, whatever, bro, And
I look around and I'm like, Nope, that's me.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
I look around in my life and absolutely everything in
my life springs from me getting sober and not just
getting physically so the thing that happens when you get sober,
and it is over the years. They say it's like
peeling and onion, and it is so much, and that
(31:10):
you deal with things that come up, but also the
ability to become emotionally state like so the emotional sobriety.
Sometimes I look at people losing their minds online, which
has been a lot of people in the past week,
in particular the past couple of weeks, like wow, one,
(31:32):
a couple of things come up. One nobody loves these
people enough to tell them to log out, which is
sad to me.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I mean, that is something I think about a lot,
and I've used like I've said it, and I know
it sounds insulting, but like, do you have anybody you
can turn to because you are coming off as a
crazy person? And I know that that's like, you know,
an insult, but I really do mean it. I feel
like I would hope that somebody in my life would
(32:01):
step in and be like, get off the internet.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Get offline. Somebody would I know my I know that, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:08):
I mean I would hope my husband would be like, Okay,
you've lost you are you need to I'm taking a
phone away.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
This is an intervention.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
I mean if you're online saying some of the things
people have been saying, you you know someone and no
one said you need to log out, that's upsetting to me.
So aside from that, but another one is like are
you are you high or drunk or like what what
is going on that?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Do you identify other people?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Like do you can you?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Like, I mean, I could spot it by somebody with
way somebody looks, but I I not necessarily on Twitter,
you know.
Speaker 5 (32:48):
It's I see a lot of adderall addiction on Twitter,
you know, like people just like rage, fighting and doubling
down and doubling down and doubling down. And I do
I do wonder about this kind of addiction to being
right that a lot of people have. I again, this
comes from sobriety and trying to truly like practice these
(33:11):
principles and all of our affairs. As they say, there
is a certain amount of humility and knowing that I
don't know anything. I think getting sober getting caught in
the crossfire of the culture Wars was I'm continuously wrong
publicly because I don't know anything. And I also really
(33:34):
had to kind of grow up and learn a lot
about America and the culture Wars and things that I
knew nothing about very publicly. And then there are just
things where I'm like, I have a gut instinct about
something and it's just wrong because I realize that I'm
in my own silo or my own echo chamber, and
I'm not really taking it enough. There's no way for
me to obviously see what three hundred million plus people
(33:57):
are thinking and feeling. But like I thought for sure
there would be a red wave to come back to
what we were talking about. I for sure thought there
would be a red wave during the mid terms in
twenty twenty two took as a rebuke of a lot
of these lockdowns. Michigan proved me completely wrong about that.
I mean, most people agreed or were far enough away
(34:19):
from it that they had forgotten that they just didn't care.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And I was so wrong about that because that was
my thing. That was my thing. It's not everyone else's thing, right.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
It was that was an eye opener for me.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Well, I think there were some really terrible candidates, but
I think that really what happened there is that people
like you and me who like suffered through those lockdowns.
I mean we lived in a blue areas that were
going to vote blue no matter what. And then the
red areas they did not suffer the way that we
suffered because they had again, like you said, the kind
of a normalcy they did the two weeks and then
(34:55):
they moved on with their lives, so they.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Didn't have this like bitterness.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Places like Michigan I disappointed by, but those places are few,
you know, where they should have voted the other way
because they did suffer, but then they didn't.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Yeah, that was that was.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Weird to me.
Speaker 5 (35:11):
And then I recently had walk Walter kerrent on Watkins
Welcome and he made such a good point where he
he and he actually said, which reminded me of you,
that like everyone was in their pajamas, this pajama class,
and they liked it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
They liked being in their pajamas.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Oh, they liked working from home, they liked pelotons.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
You know, they had the greatest time I mean, I
think it is.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Well. My admission is that I loved it. Also, it's
not that I didn't love it. I loved having my
kids home. It was a cozy, sweet time.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But I knew it was bad. I knew it was
bad for them. I knew it was bad for me.
I knew it was bad for society.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
It was like, yeah, this is functioning well for our family,
and because we're also ignoring a lot of the directives
to like not see anybody and not do anything.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
But I knew that it was going to be catastrophic
for New York, for example. And I hate that.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
How right I've been about that because I'd love to
see New York recover. I'd love to see New York
bounce back, but.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
They're nowhere near that, and I feel like people haven't
based that yet.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
Not to mention the generation of kids that completely fell
through the cracks that you'll never hear about.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I mean, we're en year old.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah, well that's I mean huge, but like, you know,
just my seven year old havn't gone, you know, to
zoom kindergarten and all the help that we've gotten him
since moving to Florida and all the like just different
ways that we've paid attention to him, Like all the families,
they cannot devote the kind of time and resources that
we have. I just I don't know what happened to
(36:47):
those kids. And yeah, we're going to know, but not
anytime too soon.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
That was That's something too that I think is interesting
to witness is is And I'm seeing this right now
where if you're so attached to like one thing, it
becomes the lens through which you see every single thing.
So oh, if they maybe lie to manipulated about COVID,
(37:14):
obviously the war in Ukraine is fake and and this
is Israel is a false Ai.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Yeah, I know this is it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Get off people off of that distrustful hand. I understand
where they're coming from. I just feel like I need
people to like shake it off and like look at
each situation as a unique thing, not as part of
one big conspiracy.
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Yeah, it's it's tough to that's something I'm seeing.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
It's another uh, you know, the shred when Yeah, I
mean this kind of leads into your final questions, which
I don't want to go run run with you forever,
which we could.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
We could we definitely could keep going.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
But so you have, you know, a family, you're married,
you have a daughter, you have two shows, you get
recognized in the street, you have hundreds of thousands of
Twitter followers.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 5 (38:14):
Oh, that's an interesting question because it's never enough for
me because I'm an addict.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Carol, Well, you know, yeah, I'll let you answer, but
I would just say I get a range of responses
to this, and it's very interesting because it is no
right or wrong here.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
No, I know, I know.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Let's just say my therapist and I work on this question,
probably weakly. She would say I have made it. I
would say that depends on what you mean by made
it by all accounts.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Yes, I mean there's I've made it and that. And
this is something they say when you first get sober.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Is that the person the things you thought you wanted
you will not want, and the things that you and
things you didn't even know you wanted, you will want.
I never would have put on my list of ambitions
a successful marriage, a loving partner, a child like those
were not things that were my top priority. And now
(39:17):
that's everything to me. That's my priority. My some having
some kind of spiritual life however that looks is important
to me being grounded. They give my life an incredible
amount of meaning that I that I could not have
(39:37):
possibly comprehended, because how can you You can't.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
I just I was so you don't know, Yeah, you
don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
You don't know, and the danger is how much? And
this is something I really I try to write about.
And it's very hard because it's so much of it
as a cope until you know, and you just don't
want to cope your way into it too late to
find out, you know, being being like, oh I don't
need this, and I because you because it's dating, it's hard,
(40:07):
and because it's so scary to put yourself out there,
and because if you are getting older and farther away
from having kids, it's just like it's easier to be like,
you know, kids destroy the world, right, So that that's
something interesting I see, and I've seen in myself and
had to I mean, I got very very lucky.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
It was nothing other than luck. There's no so much
of it is luck. I say that so much of it.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I think timing luck.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
I think that we give people the impression that like
they're not working hard enough to find like their you know,
love of their life or whatever.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
And I so much of it is just right time,
right place. And that's, you know, just how it goes.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
My husband and I broke up.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
I mean we met when he was like not even
ninety days sober, and we were it was instant. But
I could never get okay with taking that early sobriety
time away from him, and it was I was never
okay with it, and we both had to kind of
completely let go and walk away, and then we came
back together, and again that was I never would have
(41:17):
seen that coming. There's just so many things. I've just
been so completely humbled over and over and over again in.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
Life and.
Speaker 5 (41:26):
Constantly just shown that God is doing for me what
I cannot do for myself often and usually and Eve
and when we when you want to talk about made
it in terms of my career financially right now, I
will not be totally honest, I'm terrified I'm in I'm
(41:48):
not in the I think people would think I'm in
a much better position than I'm in, and I'm not.
It's It's like my you know, flavor of Little Miss
Captain of the Fence writing team is not popular or
economically you know, incentivized by the polarization right now.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
And yeah, this leads me actually perfectly into my last question,
which is, what do you think is our largest cultural
or societal problem in America right now?
Speaker 5 (42:22):
I mean, I think the loss of trust and institutions
is catastrophic, because I don't think it's bad. If they've
lost your trust, then they need to regain our trust, and.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
I don't feel like that part is bad.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
What I think is happening is that it then leaves
this massive vacuum and people start believing. People seem very lost.
And I also worry about the generations. I really am
very concerned learned about the mental health and overall education
(43:03):
of our kids. It just seems like they're really struggling,
this generation that's been raised online. I think polarization has
always existed in America, and it seems to kind of
rise and fall. But what this, I don't know that
there's always been such an enormous collapse of trust and institutions.
(43:25):
And with the polarization being that it is, it just
leaves people open to believing like any conspiracy theory and like, look,
I'm I'm subject to this stuff.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
Too sure.
Speaker 5 (43:37):
Somebody sent me a video about how the moon was
basically a hollowed out spaceship, and two minutes in I
was like, yeah, yeah, I could, I could believe this.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
It's two minutes solvable.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Like, do you think this distrust mistrust is solvable?
Speaker 5 (43:53):
Yes, but I think it starts with the individual and
I think it starts with emotional sobriety. Well, that's another
fundamental problem is that everybody wants to believe. You know,
this leads into yeah, I mean I think it's solvable,
but it requires personal responsibility.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
So maybe no, right, Yeah, it's easy to blame everybody else.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Around you and be like, look absolutely, that's that's definitely
the case. And I think that that's probably the biggest
roadblock is that nobody takes personal responsibility in Like, you know,
you could believe in conspiracy theories, right, but you know
you can notice when you're believing that the moon landing
(44:39):
was you know, fake.
Speaker 4 (44:41):
Well, I believe it was real. I just now think
it might be a hollowed out spaceship.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
You know, my husband always says, like, for all Jordan
Peterson's crap that he gets the guy is right about
clean your room and this is something that shows up
in twelve step everyone where it's like next right, what's
the next right action?
Speaker 4 (45:03):
What keep your own side of the street clean.
Speaker 5 (45:05):
I see this with both major parties, like clean up
your side of the street, Guys, don't stop pointing fingers.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Both parties have.
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Real problems within them that they need to address, but
they shouldn't even be looking atway.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
And everyone's like, but the other party, the other person's doing.
I'm like, you guys are children. This is what children do.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
But he did it to me, and like, this isn't
fair and you all sound like kids. But my husband
always says, what are you doing that you shouldn't be doing?
And what should you be doing that you're not doing?
And that is such easy, an easy place to just start.
(45:46):
What are you doing that you shouldn't be doing? And
what should you be doing that you're not doing? Because
most of the things in your life that are going awry,
or the anxiety you might be feeling, or the depression
that my lot of it stems from the answers to
those questions.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's absolutely right. So end here with your
best tip for my listeners on how they can improve
their life I feel like you've given us a lot
of good advice already, but give us your best piece
of advice.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
I mean, my never ending mantra is just keep going.
That is just my constant mantra. And I think everything
I just said, what are you doing that you shouldn't
be doing? And what should you be doing that you're
not doing?
Speaker 4 (46:30):
And just keep going, just persist.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
There's so much wisdom and stoicism and all of the
the you know, keep keep your eyes on your own paper.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
All these stupid platitudes actually have a lot of wisdom
in them, and that.
Speaker 5 (46:46):
I do think, starting with yourself and the control, controlling
the controllables.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
What can you control? I can control what my house
looks like. I can control my attitude about things.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I can.
Speaker 5 (46:59):
You know, so many things can be fixed by just
writing a gratitude list, which sounds so stupid, but truly
looking around and saying, all right, what do we like this?
Even with all of our problems, this is still the
most amazing country maybe ever, and we have so much,
(47:19):
so much yeah, and so just realizing that, yeah, gratitude,
It's like it's such a it's such an easy place
to go.
Speaker 4 (47:29):
If you're feeling blackpilled or nihilistic.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Right, yeah, absolutely, Thank you so much for joining us, Bridget,
You've been fantastic. You're one of my favorite people, and
this is a really fun conversation. I think I could
have kept you here for easily another hour. But thank
you so much for joining us in the Carol Marcowitz Show.
And congratulations on ten years of sprite.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Thank you, thank you for having me, and congratulations on
your show.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
Thank you for listening to The Carol Markowitz Show. Be
sure to like, share, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
New episodes every Monday and Thursday.
Hello, Welcome back to the Carol Marcowa show. I'm all
about the celebrity gossip.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I really am.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
And it's actually kind of crazy because the joke is
that I don't watch TV or movies really at all.
I watch like a few movies a year. I don't
think I have any shows going right.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Now at all.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I haven't seen any of the big ones.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm just not a TV movie person. So the fact
that I read about all of these people and I
don't know who they are is kind of funny. I
read all their stories, and it's partially because I write
a column at the New York Posts, so I read
the paper every day and there's a lot of celebrity
stuff in there. There was a headline a few days
(00:48):
ago that was I actually wrote this down because I
knew I wouldn't be able.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
To remember it.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Ali Krieger's brother.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hints at Ashlyn Harris infidelity, amid Sophia Bush Romans. I
don't know who any of these people are. Did I
click it and read it? Of course, yes I did.
And a few months ago, the big juicy story out
of the reality world was scandal val from the show
vander Pump Rules. There was a longtime couple on the show,
(01:15):
and the guy cheated with a friend of his girlfriends
who was also on the show. And I mean, I
read everything about it, and I haven't seen one minute
of this show, but I knew what was going on
with that love triangle. There's nothing wrong with liking celebrity gossip.
There's a cottage industry around it, specifically because people.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Like me do click and read.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
And I know women get criticized for like being into
this kind of stuff, but I really don't see it
as wildly different than men watching ESPN and you know,
catching up on what their latest and what their favorite
players are doing lately. But the point of all this
is it makes me think that we know so so
much about how relationships fall apart. We get all the
(01:59):
gory detis, we see the aftermath, the pain. We see
a lot less of how people fall in love, how
their relationship grows. All the good stuff is really hidden away.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And that's not wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Exactly, as the philosopher Mick Jagger once said, he actually
had a solo country album he recorded where he's saying
love is fragile, you hide it from the light.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
And I fully believe in that as well.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think that you should keep your relationship, you know,
as private as you possibly can. And that's why it's
so normal to go out with your friends and complain
about your husband, but so much rarer to go out
and just gush about him. Right, there's also this element
of courting bad luck. This is big in my Russian
Jewish world. We don't talk too much about good things
(02:47):
or you might lose them.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And I get it.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I mean, I'm very superstitious. Actually it's sort of embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I knock on wood, I.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Do this like three spit thing that we do.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It's like too too too.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And of course the part of me that worries if
I talk about my happiness too much, if I talk
about the good things in my life, if I talk
about how happy my marriage is and how obsessed I
am with my husband, the things that we do to
improve our relationship, what works that you know, he'll leave
me for his secretary and I'll look like a fool.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That's obviously a crazy way to live.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
And I acknowledge that. And when you do live like that,
when you keep happiness or joy or the good things,
the secret what ends up happening is people only hear
the bad parts, especially about things like relationships. And you
have people online who push this idea that singlehood is
just the best, and it goes unchallenged because they could
(03:41):
say singlehood is the best and then if they meet
someone change their mind get married. No one is going
to be like, haha, you were wrong. And I can
tell you that from experience, because I spent my twenties
saying that marriage was basically for suckers, and no one
was at my wedding saying, hey, didn't you say? But
we imagine someone will mock us if we say our
(04:03):
marriage is amazing and then it somehow fails, and like,
I assure you, they won't. I know that this is
you know, I'm telling this to you, but I'm also
saying this to myself. It's a thing that people are
worried about, but it's just never going to happen, because
we all ultimately know the truth even when we don't
say it, that a good relationship is way better than
good singlehood. And maybe we don't need to pretend that
(04:26):
we have it all figured out or that our relationship
is bulletproof and definitely definitely going.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
To last forever.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Maybe the next time you get together with your girlfriends,
you just say one nice thing about your husband. You
don't have to gush if you don't want to, Just
one really positive thing. And obviously not just women, but
I just feel like women talk about their husbands more
than men talk about their wives. But when guys get together,
it's so clear who's really into his wife. I just
(04:55):
don't think that men do the same kind of emoting
and complaining sessions as women do. But yeah, if you're
a man listening to this, say one nice thing about
your wife. Next time you're together with your guy friends.
Let them know that it's normal to be in good, happy,
healthy relationships. In any case, don't keep it a secret
if you're happy. Reality stars who are happy don't make
(05:16):
the news, But that doesn't mean that happy marriages don't exist,
and it's important to show that they do. Less the
bad news completely overwhelms the good. We could really use
that good news. We could really use that positivity. If
you're happy in your life, in your marriage and your relationship,
say so. Don't worry about you know, jinxing yourself or something.
(05:36):
We need that good news to overwhelm the bad.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's very important for all of us.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Coming up after the break, my interview with Bridget Betas
and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show. My next
guest is my friend, Bridget Betasie. Bridget is a writer,
comedian and host of the podcast Walkins Welcome and YouTube
show dumpster Fire and us in All Around gem Hi, Bridget,
(06:02):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Thank you for having me. I'm so exciting here.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm so happy to have you.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
You were on my very short list of the first
guests I wanted to have on I met you several
years ago when you were living in LA and I
was living in New York, and we met on the internet,
as people do, and we hit it off right away.
And your life has changed a little bit since then.
You got married, you had a baby, you moved to Texas.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Tell us about that.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's been quite a journey since we met.
I mean you you no longer are in New York,
which I thought would never in a billion years. I'm
wearing my New York T shirt and honor of Carol, actually,
because you were saying you'd never leave, and I didn't
think i'd ever really leave LA, even though yeah, I
(06:53):
just more and more could not afford to live there.
I ford to live the life I wanted to live there.
Once I had a child, you have to kind of
be a multi millionaire to give your kid or kids
the life that I would like to give my daughter.
(07:14):
But even before I had kids, we were looking at
leaving my husband and I. The COVID policies were just
so crazy and never it felt like never ending.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
And being somebody who traveled around America.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
During COVID and the world, I was like, you know,
people aren't living like this.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
It was so crazy.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
You would drive we would go see my in laws
in Arizona and the kids were just running around.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
It was like another world.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
It was so wild, and I would go back to
California and it was the mentality was so locked down.
You know, their own minds were locked down from even
considering that there might be another way, and that other
people did their two weeks and then basically went back
to normal and they were like two years in, still
(08:01):
masking kids. It was nuts, and that was you know,
there were moments where I was like, ah, maybe the
population will push back, but then I realized that I
was really the one that was out of lockstep and
that the population agreed with what was determined to be
in their best interest by their leaders, and I just disagreed.
(08:24):
And I love the fact that I live in America
and I can move absolutely.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
It was so weird because I thought, you know, things
that I thought would move people, like when Gavin Newsom's
kid got to go to school but the public school
kids didn't get to go. I thought like stuff like
that would really motivate people to be like, no, this
is unfair. I'm going to fight this, and they were like, yeah,
all right, makes sense. The governor's kid goes to school
and mine doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I just that was sort of the kind of thing
that really soured me on New York on LA, because
you know, I love to La. LA was always our
you know, backup plan, like, oh, new York, you know,
something goes wrong with New York, We're going to go
to LA, which is of course hilarious now, But the
(09:10):
fact that people just accepted it was just difficult for
me to take and something I couldn't then see.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
And I'm sure that was the case for you.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
So yeah, in Texas, I it's an adjustment.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
I'm to make one point before I talk about Texas
and my increasing love for it. One of the wildest
kind of upside down howevery it feels like every party
has kind of changed. The weirdest thing to me is
how anti authoritarian the right has become. They're kind of
(09:43):
known to be the party that is, you know, followers
authority and trust authority, and the left was generally the
people who were like, damn the man. And it's so
that was really strange in covid to see that that
was that that transition had fully. It was just both
(10:08):
parties completely flipped.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
On that, and that was wild. I'm like, I'm going
to a red state to be.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
You know, more they're they're more open and more questioning
of this than the blue states.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
That's wild to me. And yes, Texas.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
I we moved in May and then it got very
hot and I was there was definitely a part of
me that was like the the will Arnt meme from
I've made a huge mistake, you know, I like moved
here and I was like, oh no, we're very isolated
art We had family there, which was what made the
(10:47):
decision so hard, and we the healthcare system here is
not the same at all as it was in California.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
So I don't know.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I'm not sure if I'm totally incorrect, but as far
as I've researched and my husband and I have looked,
you can't really get a private PPO, so you can only.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Get an HMO.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
And I've never had to deal with what people have
to deal with, and oh my god, it is like
it's crazy. Actually, it's so Our healthcare system is so broken,
fundamentally broken. And if I could fix one thing in
this country and wish that some kind of presidential candidate
(11:35):
would address this, it's just that.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And I had like a.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Health issue right away when I got here and had
to get a doctor to get permission to go see
another it was correct. I was like, what is this
Because you can get private PP you can be an.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Individual and get an individual.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
PPO plan in California, so I paid for my health care.
But I had great healthcare and here that initially that
was another thing where I was like, oh, shoot, this
is not not the same. Yeah, and then and then
worrying that, you know, I want my daughter to be
able to like play outside in the summer and like
(12:13):
I did all day long and it's one hundred and
six degrees for three months and that that stuff.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
I mean, kids are raised here, so yeah, I assume
the honesty, like I love the like you know, it's
not perfect and it's not like just all problems are
instantly solved by moving, which you know, I think when
I was publicly discussing wanting to get out of New
York or just how difficult things were in New York,
(12:43):
I think a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Would just comment, like, just move, just move. Well, it's
not that easy.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Everybody says that, Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I mean, I love Florida. I've I haven't regretted it
for one second, and I think, you know, all around,
it's been amazing for our family. But I know people
who have moved during this time and they don't love
where they ended up, and you know, they didn't get
to like try it out for a little while first,
and just it's really tough to uproot your whole life,
and yeah, kinds of changes, and the fact that people
(13:12):
on the internet are so cavalier about it, like oh,
just move, like.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Yeah, it's crazy, and it's it's I think it would be.
You know. One of the things I noticed inside of
me was this resistance to allow myself to feel not
regret because I don't regret. I see the news coming
out of California and there's no regret at all. Right,
the question maybe would have been, should I have gone
(13:37):
all the way and just moved back home to the
East coast where my family is and that feels like retirement,
Like my family's in Rhode Island, Massachusetts area, And sure
there are cities around, but I'm not. There's there's so
much industry here in Austin where I am, and there's
(13:57):
so many people in my industry, and it feels.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Kind of like a boom town.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And the comedy world is booming, and there's just podcasting.
There's so many people in my space. And so one
of the reasons we came here was because I I
don't make I don't I can't retire yet.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, all right, we're getting there, you know.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah, we're getting there. Not as fast as I'd like,
but yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
And there was this resistance to kind of look at
the trade offs and and when my husband, Jaren, and
I were evaluating this, it.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Was not easy.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
How do you how do you put on a list
like Grandma lives here, that's not something you can quantify
and It's like we always talk about Thomas Soul being
like there are no solutions, only trade offs and to
our fundamental problems we were having in California. We could
never get outside of the governance there, and that was
(14:50):
that was something no matter where we moved, because people
were like move to move to like a red state,
moved to the OC or moved and it wouldn't have
mattered with this state from the top down. Was still
was is problem. It's these problems are going to take
decades to fix. And some things are better you know there,
(15:11):
I can't. They're like, for instance, I think they probably
deal with healthcare a little bit better there than they
do here, and maybe that will improve as there's more
and more and more and more and more and more
people moving here.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I it's insane, actually, And.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I just didn't want to be one of those people
that I always joke like, never listen, never take life
advice from your rich friends, because they when you're at
a certain when you're at a certain level of wealth,
you're not dealing with the problems average people are going
to deal with no matter where you move or where
you go, because you are you're removed for most of
(15:53):
that anyway, like, never take life advice from someone who
flies private. Oh yeah, they probably don't easy call business
advice from them, but probably not dealing with the same
problems that you're dealing with when you move to a
new state.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
They're definitely not packing their own boxes, you.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Know, they're definitely not sure dealing with transferring their business
and everything that that looks like. They're definitely not probably
even aware that there's differences between HM always and PPOs
because they have boutique you know, private healthcare wherever they go.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So I'm sorrious to say I really don't know that
much about healthcare plans, uh, just because.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
My husband is his department. But yeah, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go learn.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
But yeah, you know, like we have our he doesn't
know a lot of the things that I know about either, So.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Yeah, no, everybody's got their their lanes.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
I just think that you have to really know when
you make these decisions exactly the things that you're going
to be dealing with, and some of the things you
can't really know until you get there. And I I
also think like I moved a lot growing up. I
moved every year and a half, and so I was
so resistant to moving because I just I have a
(17:08):
pathological hatred of moving. The sound of that moving tape
gives me like PTSD from my childhood.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
It's just crazy.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
My daughter used to cry when she was a baby
and she would hear that, and I was like, this
is proof of intergenerational drama.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Absolutely, I now believe it's real. So why is she
trying at this sound?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
She knows she's felt it.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, so you mentioned there's like an active podcasting scene
and an active comedy scene.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
But you know, one of the topics I like to
cover on the show is making friends in adulthood and yeah,
have you made friends? Have you made like you know, yeah,
for friends?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Friends?
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Yeah, that's something I mean, Mom, friends is such a
weird thing. I'm getting used to that. I'm in the
suburbs and that's weird too, Like I was such an
urban supremacist, you know, I think you were to a
certain extent. And yeah, there's so many things about the
suburbs that I love, and they are made for people
(18:11):
with families, truly. It's just and the suburbs that I'm
living is super diverse. There's tons because there's so many
people in tech here. So it's like tons of Indian
families are moving in in my neighborhood and it's just
it's awesome. Actually, I love how it's a lot of
first generation Americans because I feel like they my they
(18:34):
love America, as you know, and they really appreciate it.
And that's something that I felt was another thing that
my husband and I would see was being lost in
our city of Los Angeles, Like even if you flew
an American flag, you were worried people were going to
be like, oh, there's the Maga couple on the street,
(18:57):
so that that's really different. And here everyone flies American
flags and Texas flags and is proud to be in
the country and that love that nice.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
It was nice to be here around on the fourth
of July there was like a little parade and the
we're going to develop.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I mean so many things that if you had.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Told me when I was in my twenties in Los
Angeles that this would be my future, I would have
been like, you're give me whatever drugs.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
You're on, I need them.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
But it turns out the people like this lifestyle because
it's easier in a.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Lot of ways.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I want to hear the answer to whether or not
you've made friends, though.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Yeah, I'm making friends.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
And one of the things that I've really really we're
reading in my subscriber community. We started a book club
and we're reading Bowling Alone because I've been obsessed with
this idea of this loss of community and it eroding
the fabric of society and seeing how this summer I
felt a real pivot to people wanting to be back
(20:00):
in real life. The concert everything like traveling concerts, comedy,
all of those places were booming. And you see kind
of which I actually think is good. Maybe not great
for my business, but good in general for America.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Is this.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
They're not spending as much time online, They're not spending
as much time and money on on all of this stuff,
subscribers and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
So but podcasts, right.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Yeah, but listen to our podcasts for everything else.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I understand you don't.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, I know it's not great podcasts you should listen to.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
There are a lot of refugees from the Motherland here,
lots of Californians who have left, and I there are
a lot of people in tech and it's just making
that effort. I had the women from the podcast ascad
You on a couple.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Love them.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yeah, well they're amazing, but.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Talking about Yeah, she was talking about how like community
isn't going to come to you.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
You've got to open your house up and have people
over for dinner.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
And so I've really and my friend Alana and her
husband have moved here from San Francisco. He's a Rabbi
and they have a they're trying to dig into community.
So they've invited us as kind of I guess like
honorary Jews to all of these things.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
And it's but it really is just saying yes to everything.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
We went to this amazing ranch that these Texans, they're
like born and raised Texans, invited us to and that
was so incredible over Labor Day weekend and yeah we went.
We went to like a farm the other day and
got pumpkins. And so I'm just the more I do that,
the more I feel rooted and grounded in Texas, and
(21:55):
the more I really start to love it.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
We're going to take a quick break and you're right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. Saying yes to everything
is just also very difficult. I like, I'm trying I'm
definitely trying. We're almost it'll be in January, it'll be
two years. And like you, I already knew a lot
of people here, so it's not like I don't have,
(22:19):
you know, a universe, but I have struggled to make
kind of the friends that you make. I feel like
you're a little bit lucky in this way because your
your daughter's young, and I think, hey, your kid's too,
My kids too, like let's hang out. But my kids
are thirteen, ten and seven, and they have their own
friends already, and it's like it's not quite the same
as like just clicking with a mom at the park
(22:41):
or something like that. Yeah, we're working on it the whole,
making friends, like with neighbors and with people in our community.
We have these new neighbors from Connecticut who we like
a lot. You know, they just also move down to
Florida for the freedom to escape the communism, and we
them a lot. But in general, it just it takes
(23:02):
work and it takes time, and it's hard to do
as an adult because you feel like you should already
have all your friends made and yet here we are,
like you know, starting anew.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
And everyone's so busy. Yeah, everyone is so busy, so hard.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Yeah, the kids have so many activities and sports and
stuff like that, we're barely seeing each other, let alone
like finding time for new people. But opening your home,
that's I think such a good call and like, really
what I feel like I should probably do more of.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Yeah, I've really been loving my neighbors. And there's so
many littles in my neighborhood too. It's like there's a
little baby boom in this neighborhood. So h and everybody's
just so warm. Our neighbors made us brisket when we
moved in, and now they're having a baby. You know,
she's having a baby. So I've been helping her with
like giving her tons of stuff and helping. And there's
(23:56):
a very angry Facebook for them for the development, as
as there is for every single one development.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
But it's also a great place to be, Like I
have baby clothes, you know, I have Like who needs
a pregnancy pillow? I don't need it. So yeah, and
it's weird.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
It's just I'm not used to like the having to
make mom friends and stuff, and and she's just loves people,
so I try to really like the local library has
story hours, so we've been doing that and I've met
some moms there and we've exchanged numbers but haven't done
anything yet.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
But it's right, you're gonna You're gonna find them. You're
going to find your people. And I, you know, I
think I am too. I think it's just you know, again,
it takes takes a minute to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's like an awkward thing too.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Yeah, and it's awkward being not not because the weird
thing that's happened to me in Texas that didn't really
happen to me in LA is that I get recognized
a lot more here.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
When I go out and about and it's and it's
very very strange and weird.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
And it's like somebody and the development group saw me
in there and they were like, I'm so glad you
live in our development and that was weird.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
I'm like, oh, I shouldn't I should I even be
in this group.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
So there are strange things like that, But then it
makes I get insecure because I'm like, does this person
already hate me? You know, Like when I'm in these
like mommy groups where I'm like, maybe someone recognizes me
and they're like, I hate that be from Twitter, you know,
like GIRLA or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure they all love you.
I mean, who's not going to love you?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
A lot of people.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
But you know, I was scrolling on your Twitter earlier
today and I saw some terrible opinions that you have,
so maybe maybe you're not totally off, but like you
tweeted that, I was gonna.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Be like about it.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Just d.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
You get the Pete Davidson thing? Explain that to me.
I do not.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
I never got it. I never ever got it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Until I saw to get it what I said, I
continue not to get it.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Yeah, I never got it until I saw that opening,
because I could see him struggling to be somewhat opening. Yeah,
he hosted Saturday Night Live. For people who don't know,
Pete Davidson hosted Saturday Live. He did the monologue, as
you do when you're the host, and it was obviously
(26:33):
a fraught Saturday to.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Be doing a monologue. There's a lot of tension in
the world.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
For people who also don't know, it would be amazing
listening to this podcast and like not knowing, You're like,
what's going on?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
What's she talking about?
Speaker 5 (26:49):
And so he did his best a thread, I think,
a very difficult needle on a show where you're gonna
piss everybody off no matter what you say, no one's
going to be happy with really, and he made it
personal and then talked about how his father was killed
in a terrorist attack, and in that moment, I was like.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I suddenly was like tell me I want I want
to rescue I see.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Because I keep waiting for him to be funny, and.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I just know he's like a mommy's well.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
And also the thing that I really identified with is
I had a not easy upbringing and using comedy because
I was just doing I did something on Thursday night.
It was the Normal World show at the Blaze, and
we're all comedians and we were all joking before we
even started recording it, and we were like, we can't
make any of.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
These jokes because I was like, this is just a
copy mechanism. I don't know, I don't it is I got.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
I used to get yelled at it when I was
in rehab for making too many jokes and laughing, but
it was just how I coped with a hard situation.
So between him kind of being this like seeing the
brokenness inside of him, and then and then hearing how
also Delirious saved me when my parents got divorced. So
(28:12):
he talks about Eddie Murphy's Delirious, So I personally related
to that and all of those things.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
And I was like, okay, okay, I kind of get it.
I kind of.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Understand how he gets the hottest woman on earth repeatedly
because he uses humor to cope and he's there's something
about him that you want to just like I wanted
to hug him when he was talking about that.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
We're gonna just you know, this is one of those.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
We're gonna have to agree to disagree, but I'm not
going to try to cancel you because of your terrible opinion.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
You know, put me on let it go.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Yeah, So you mentioned rehab, and I know that you
recently celebrated ten years.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Of no this this coming? When does this go on?
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Come next week?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Okay? So recently yep, yep, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
To your recently celebrated ten years of sobriety. And you've
been very public about your sobriety journey.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So what's it been like?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I mean, it is ten years is nuts? Ten years.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
I've had a lot of anniversaries obviously in nine other ones,
and it's impressive.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
It's really it's probably.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
When you get sober ten years is like science fiction.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
It's just like you're lying.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
No one's been sober that long's it's not something I
ever would have considered to be possible for myself. I
couldn't even make it ten hours or ten days in
early sobriety.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
That's just so far off. And it's so.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Strange to look at how my life has changed in
that decade.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
A lot of it is because I got sober, but.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
Also just little things, thinking like I haven't had a
hangover it in ten years.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Wow, that's crazy. I haven't had to wake up and
be like, oh what did I say?
Speaker 5 (30:06):
Or wonder that I ran my mouth too much at
a dinner party, or I don't know, there are just
so many or figured out where I was even, you know,
like drop a pin and tell me where I am, sire,
that's happened.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
There are just so many, so many gifts.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
And then I think about how at the beginning, when
I got sober, I went to this meeting and rolled
my eyes at a guy who was like, everything in
my life should be stamped property of AA because I'm
in twelve step recovery.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
And I was like, ah, like right, whatever, bro, And
I look around and I'm like, Nope, that's me.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
I look around in my life and absolutely everything in
my life springs from me getting sober and not just
getting physically so the thing that happens when you get sober,
and it is over the years. They say it's like
peeling and onion, and it is so much, and that
(31:10):
you deal with things that come up, but also the
ability to become emotionally state like so the emotional sobriety.
Sometimes I look at people losing their minds online, which
has been a lot of people in the past week,
in particular the past couple of weeks, like wow, one,
(31:32):
a couple of things come up. One nobody loves these
people enough to tell them to log out, which is
sad to me.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I mean, that is something I think about a lot,
and I've used like I've said it, and I know
it sounds insulting, but like, do you have anybody you
can turn to because you are coming off as a
crazy person? And I know that that's like, you know,
an insult, but I really do mean it. I feel
like I would hope that somebody in my life would
(32:01):
step in and be like, get off the internet.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Get offline. Somebody would I know my I know that, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:08):
I mean I would hope my husband would be like, Okay,
you've lost you are you need to I'm taking a
phone away.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
This is an intervention.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
I mean if you're online saying some of the things
people have been saying, you you know someone and no
one said you need to log out, that's upsetting to me.
So aside from that, but another one is like are
you are you high or drunk or like what what
is going on that?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Do you identify other people?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Like do you can you?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Like, I mean, I could spot it by somebody with
way somebody looks, but I I not necessarily on Twitter,
you know.
Speaker 5 (32:48):
It's I see a lot of adderall addiction on Twitter,
you know, like people just like rage, fighting and doubling
down and doubling down and doubling down. And I do
I do wonder about this kind of addiction to being
right that a lot of people have. I again, this
comes from sobriety and trying to truly like practice these
(33:11):
principles and all of our affairs. As they say, there
is a certain amount of humility and knowing that I
don't know anything. I think getting sober getting caught in
the crossfire of the culture Wars was I'm continuously wrong
publicly because I don't know anything. And I also really
(33:34):
had to kind of grow up and learn a lot
about America and the culture Wars and things that I
knew nothing about very publicly. And then there are just
things where I'm like, I have a gut instinct about
something and it's just wrong because I realize that I'm
in my own silo or my own echo chamber, and
I'm not really taking it enough. There's no way for
me to obviously see what three hundred million plus people
(33:57):
are thinking and feeling. But like I thought for sure
there would be a red wave to come back to
what we were talking about. I for sure thought there
would be a red wave during the mid terms in
twenty twenty two took as a rebuke of a lot
of these lockdowns. Michigan proved me completely wrong about that.
I mean, most people agreed or were far enough away
(34:19):
from it that they had forgotten that they just didn't care.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And I was so wrong about that because that was
my thing. That was my thing. It's not everyone else's thing, right.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
It was that was an eye opener for me.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Well, I think there were some really terrible candidates, but
I think that really what happened there is that people
like you and me who like suffered through those lockdowns.
I mean we lived in a blue areas that were
going to vote blue no matter what. And then the
red areas they did not suffer the way that we
suffered because they had again, like you said, the kind
of a normalcy they did the two weeks and then
(34:55):
they moved on with their lives, so they.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Didn't have this like bitterness.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Places like Michigan I disappointed by, but those places are few,
you know, where they should have voted the other way
because they did suffer, but then they didn't.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Yeah, that was that was.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Weird to me.
Speaker 5 (35:11):
And then I recently had walk Walter kerrent on Watkins
Welcome and he made such a good point where he
he and he actually said, which reminded me of you,
that like everyone was in their pajamas, this pajama class,
and they liked it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
They liked being in their pajamas.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Oh, they liked working from home, they liked pelotons.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
You know, they had the greatest time I mean, I
think it is.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Well. My admission is that I loved it. Also, it's
not that I didn't love it. I loved having my
kids home. It was a cozy, sweet time.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But I knew it was bad. I knew it was
bad for them. I knew it was bad for me.
I knew it was bad for society.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
It was like, yeah, this is functioning well for our family,
and because we're also ignoring a lot of the directives
to like not see anybody and not do anything.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
But I knew that it was going to be catastrophic
for New York, for example. And I hate that.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
How right I've been about that because I'd love to
see New York recover. I'd love to see New York
bounce back, but.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
They're nowhere near that, and I feel like people haven't
based that yet.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
Not to mention the generation of kids that completely fell
through the cracks that you'll never hear about.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I mean, we're en year old.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah, well that's I mean huge, but like, you know,
just my seven year old havn't gone, you know, to
zoom kindergarten and all the help that we've gotten him
since moving to Florida and all the like just different
ways that we've paid attention to him, Like all the families,
they cannot devote the kind of time and resources that
we have. I just I don't know what happened to
(36:47):
those kids. And yeah, we're going to know, but not
anytime too soon.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
That was That's something too that I think is interesting
to witness is is And I'm seeing this right now
where if you're so attached to like one thing, it
becomes the lens through which you see every single thing.
So oh, if they maybe lie to manipulated about COVID,
(37:14):
obviously the war in Ukraine is fake and and this
is Israel is a false Ai.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Yeah, I know this is it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Get off people off of that distrustful hand. I understand
where they're coming from. I just feel like I need
people to like shake it off and like look at
each situation as a unique thing, not as part of
one big conspiracy.
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Yeah, it's it's tough to that's something I'm seeing.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
It's another uh, you know, the shred when Yeah, I
mean this kind of leads into your final questions, which
I don't want to go run run with you forever,
which we could.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
We could we definitely could keep going.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
But so you have, you know, a family, you're married,
you have a daughter, you have two shows, you get
recognized in the street, you have hundreds of thousands of
Twitter followers.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 5 (38:14):
Oh, that's an interesting question because it's never enough for
me because I'm an addict.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Carol, Well, you know, yeah, I'll let you answer, but
I would just say I get a range of responses
to this, and it's very interesting because it is no
right or wrong here.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
No, I know, I know.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Let's just say my therapist and I work on this question,
probably weakly. She would say I have made it. I
would say that depends on what you mean by made
it by all accounts.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Yes, I mean there's I've made it and that. And
this is something they say when you first get sober.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Is that the person the things you thought you wanted
you will not want, and the things that you and
things you didn't even know you wanted, you will want.
I never would have put on my list of ambitions
a successful marriage, a loving partner, a child like those
were not things that were my top priority. And now
(39:17):
that's everything to me. That's my priority. My some having
some kind of spiritual life however that looks is important
to me being grounded. They give my life an incredible
amount of meaning that I that I could not have
(39:37):
possibly comprehended, because how can you You can't.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
I just I was so you don't know, Yeah, you
don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
You don't know, and the danger is how much? And
this is something I really I try to write about.
And it's very hard because it's so much of it
as a cope until you know, and you just don't
want to cope your way into it too late to
find out, you know, being being like, oh I don't
need this, and I because you because it's dating, it's hard,
(40:07):
and because it's so scary to put yourself out there,
and because if you are getting older and farther away
from having kids, it's just like it's easier to be like,
you know, kids destroy the world, right, So that that's
something interesting I see, and I've seen in myself and
had to I mean, I got very very lucky.
Speaker 4 (40:30):
It was nothing other than luck. There's no so much
of it is luck. I say that so much of it.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I think timing luck.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
I think that we give people the impression that like
they're not working hard enough to find like their you know,
love of their life or whatever.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
And I so much of it is just right time,
right place. And that's, you know, just how it goes.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
My husband and I broke up.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
I mean we met when he was like not even
ninety days sober, and we were it was instant. But
I could never get okay with taking that early sobriety
time away from him, and it was I was never
okay with it, and we both had to kind of
completely let go and walk away, and then we came
back together, and again that was I never would have
(41:17):
seen that coming. There's just so many things. I've just
been so completely humbled over and over and over again in.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
Life and.
Speaker 5 (41:26):
Constantly just shown that God is doing for me what
I cannot do for myself often and usually and Eve
and when we when you want to talk about made
it in terms of my career financially right now, I
will not be totally honest, I'm terrified I'm in I'm
(41:48):
not in the I think people would think I'm in
a much better position than I'm in, and I'm not.
It's It's like my you know, flavor of Little Miss
Captain of the Fence writing team is not popular or
economically you know, incentivized by the polarization right now.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
And yeah, this leads me actually perfectly into my last question,
which is, what do you think is our largest cultural
or societal problem in America right now?
Speaker 5 (42:22):
I mean, I think the loss of trust and institutions
is catastrophic, because I don't think it's bad. If they've
lost your trust, then they need to regain our trust, and.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
I don't feel like that part is bad.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
What I think is happening is that it then leaves
this massive vacuum and people start believing. People seem very lost.
And I also worry about the generations. I really am
very concerned learned about the mental health and overall education
(43:03):
of our kids. It just seems like they're really struggling,
this generation that's been raised online. I think polarization has
always existed in America, and it seems to kind of
rise and fall. But what this, I don't know that
there's always been such an enormous collapse of trust and institutions.
(43:25):
And with the polarization being that it is, it just
leaves people open to believing like any conspiracy theory and like, look,
I'm I'm subject to this stuff.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
Too sure.
Speaker 5 (43:37):
Somebody sent me a video about how the moon was
basically a hollowed out spaceship, and two minutes in I
was like, yeah, yeah, I could, I could believe this.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
It's two minutes solvable.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Like, do you think this distrust mistrust is solvable?
Speaker 5 (43:53):
Yes, but I think it starts with the individual and
I think it starts with emotional sobriety. Well, that's another
fundamental problem is that everybody wants to believe. You know,
this leads into yeah, I mean I think it's solvable,
but it requires personal responsibility.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
So maybe no, right, Yeah, it's easy to blame everybody else.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Around you and be like, look absolutely, that's that's definitely
the case. And I think that that's probably the biggest
roadblock is that nobody takes personal responsibility in Like, you know,
you could believe in conspiracy theories, right, but you know
you can notice when you're believing that the moon landing
(44:39):
was you know, fake.
Speaker 4 (44:41):
Well, I believe it was real. I just now think
it might be a hollowed out spaceship.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
You know, my husband always says, like, for all Jordan
Peterson's crap that he gets the guy is right about
clean your room and this is something that shows up
in twelve step everyone where it's like next right, what's
the next right action?
Speaker 4 (45:03):
What keep your own side of the street clean.
Speaker 5 (45:05):
I see this with both major parties, like clean up
your side of the street, Guys, don't stop pointing fingers.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Both parties have.
Speaker 5 (45:14):
Real problems within them that they need to address, but
they shouldn't even be looking atway.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
And everyone's like, but the other party, the other person's doing.
I'm like, you guys are children. This is what children do.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
But he did it to me, and like, this isn't
fair and you all sound like kids. But my husband
always says, what are you doing that you shouldn't be doing?
And what should you be doing that you're not doing?
And that is such easy, an easy place to just start.
(45:46):
What are you doing that you shouldn't be doing? And
what should you be doing that you're not doing? Because
most of the things in your life that are going awry,
or the anxiety you might be feeling, or the depression
that my lot of it stems from the answers to
those questions.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's absolutely right. So end here with your
best tip for my listeners on how they can improve
their life I feel like you've given us a lot
of good advice already, but give us your best piece
of advice.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
I mean, my never ending mantra is just keep going.
That is just my constant mantra. And I think everything
I just said, what are you doing that you shouldn't
be doing? And what should you be doing that you're
not doing?
Speaker 4 (46:30):
And just keep going, just persist.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
There's so much wisdom and stoicism and all of the
the you know, keep keep your eyes on your own paper.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
All these stupid platitudes actually have a lot of wisdom
in them, and that.
Speaker 5 (46:46):
I do think, starting with yourself and the control, controlling
the controllables.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
What can you control? I can control what my house
looks like. I can control my attitude about things.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I can.
Speaker 5 (46:59):
You know, so many things can be fixed by just
writing a gratitude list, which sounds so stupid, but truly
looking around and saying, all right, what do we like this?
Even with all of our problems, this is still the
most amazing country maybe ever, and we have so much,
(47:19):
so much yeah, and so just realizing that, yeah, gratitude,
It's like it's such a it's such an easy place
to go.
Speaker 4 (47:29):
If you're feeling blackpilled or nihilistic.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Right, yeah, absolutely, Thank you so much for joining us, Bridget,
You've been fantastic. You're one of my favorite people, and
this is a really fun conversation. I think I could
have kept you here for easily another hour. But thank
you so much for joining us in the Carol Marcowitz Show.
And congratulations on ten years of sprite.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Thank you, thank you for having me, and congratulations on
your show.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
Thank you for listening to The Carol Markowitz Show. Be
sure to like, share, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
New episodes every Monday and Thursday.
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