December 24, 2023 • 23 mins
Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart covers the annual Fox News coverage of the war on Christmas as Fox News aims to clear up the historical record on Santa Claus. Plus, Desi Lydic & Jordan Klepper head to the FOX News All American Christmas tree lighting to see who's been naughty and nice this year.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Central, you're probably worry about Our nation's been embroiled in
a long and bitter war.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
The first albo in the War on Christmas, the War
on Christmas, the War on Christmas, War on Christmas, War
on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
War on Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
It's not to be confused with War on Christmas is
a tremendous Christmas album Vexibles. For years now, Christmas has
been under attack, defended only by the brave souls of
Fox News. Are they still up to the task? That
is the subject of tonight's War on Christmas Friendly Fire Edition,
(00:50):
Let's Face Facts, the annual Fox War on Christmas. It's
become a little predictable. It's basically I imagine you can
make went up with the like a make Fox News
mad libs. Let's see so uh, let's see. Uh, let's
try to do one of these all right. Last week
(01:12):
in uh, I need the name of some godless liberal bastion.
Santa Monica. Okay, Santa Monica, that'll do. Let me just
fill in Santa Monica there and in Santa Monica a
group of give me the name of a small group
of annoying people with incredibly limited control over our culture.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Atheists.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, atheists will do. That's right. Everyone's favored uncle lives
in Oregon. No one ever says, yeah, so a group
of atheists have ruined Christmas by forcing the removal of
I need a classic Christmas symbol.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Ass damn it, Brian, we're trying to do something here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Let's go say in.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
The car a Nativity scene.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Thank you, Nativity scene. Some people are still grown ups
over there, actious scene. Okay, all right, so we're done.
Let's see if we can put that all together, shall we.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Atheists seem to have ended a sixty year old Christmas
tradition in Santa Monica, California.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
A federal judge backing Santa Monica's decision.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
To no longer allow Nativity scenes in a public park.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Oh my god, that is such an out. It's as
though the War on Christmas has become a rote observance,
devoid of all its original spiritual meaning. Even its most
ardent proponents have seen doubt creep in.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
Now a lot of people, for whatever reason, will look
at this interview today and they'll say, Gretchen Carlson and
Daren Costa are nuts. Okay, They're so nuts because they
think that there's this made up war on Christmas. We're
not nuts, are we? There is a war on Christmas.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
As a general rule, if you're trying to tell whether
you and one other person or nuts, ask a third person,
preferably someone outside the asylum. But since you asked the question,
am I nuts to think there's a war on Christmas?
It's only played for me to offer you a resounding yes. Nuts.
(03:35):
Because for whatever annoying local ticki tac Christmas abolishing story,
you and your merry band of persecution seeking researchers can
scour the wires to turn up the rest of us
can't swing a dead elf without knocking over an inflatable
snow globe or a giant blinking candy cane. For God's sakes,
(03:55):
Fox News itself is located in midtown Manhattan, the epicenter
of all that is godless, secular, gay, jewey, and hell bound.
And yet even here, all around your studio, it looks
like Santa's balls exploded. So that is in us. That
(04:19):
is a hypothesis. You know, in the old days before
the War on Christmas, the celebration of the Birth of
Christ lasted a day like birthdays do, And then it
seeped into the night before Christmas, the eve, if you will,
And then the next thing you know, we were riding
(04:39):
this thing all the way to Epiphany. Fine, twelve days
gave time for lords to leap and geese delay, and
partridges to pair and gold to ring, and it's just
twelve days of servants and poultry whatever. But it still
wasn't enough. There's a war on Christmas. Has anyone told Thanksgiving?
(05:02):
Because this year Black Friday aka Christmas's opening belt got
moved back a day to Black Thursday, or as we
used to call it, Thanksgiving. Christmas is so big now
it's eating other holidays. Watch your ass, Halloween your next.
(05:28):
I mean, that's a question. Do atheists land an occasional blow?
I guess even the Washington generals get lucky once in
a while. But when you look at the overall record
between the two teams, for godsakes, there are radio stations
that play nothing but Christmas carols, stores that sell nothing
but Christmas decorations all year long. There is a TV
(05:49):
channel devoted to a Yule log and it's kicking CNN's
But don't worry, non log burning channels. There's Christmas programs
for you as well. There's old timey traditional Christmas programming,
really old timey Dickenzie and Christmas special programming, New time Ey,
(06:14):
Urban Christmas specials, Mormon Christmas specials, Country Western Christmas specials,
Shipmunk Christmas specials, Otter Christmas specials, Bear Christmas specials, Cat
Christmas specials, Large Headed Child Christmas Day, Christmas, Jewish Christmas, whatever.
(06:38):
This is Christmas, Christmas Underwater, Christmas from the future, prehistoric Christmas.
That's right, there's a Christmas special celebrating Jesus' birth thousands
of years before the birth of Jesus. That is a
(07:03):
holiday that is not in danger. There is so much
Christmas all over the place, it's getting harder for Christmas
defenders to fight for Christmas without accidentally doing damage to it,
Which brings us to our friendly fire incident. Watch what
happens when our good friend Bill O'Reilly takes the atheist's bait.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
What religion is involved with Christmas? What religion?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Christianity?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That is not a religion, that's a philosophy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So you're gonna actually tell me on live television that
Christianity is not a religion, correct?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It is aph.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Bill, Bill Way Bill, have you learned nothing from our fringe.
You just handed that atheist another thing he can't Believeanity
is a religion. Christianity has a philosophical element, but there
(08:06):
is a difference between a philosophy and a religion. For instance,
let's look at Socrates and Jesus. They have a lot
in common, loose fitting clothing, beards, sandals, teaching through parable martyrdom.
But here's where we find the distinction between philosophy and religion.
After their martyrdom, one of them got better. I'll give you,
(08:33):
I'll give you a hit. It's the one who ascended
into heaven and is seated at the right hand of
the Father, who will come again and glory to judge
living in the dead, whose kingdom will have no end. Anyone, anyone, bueler, anyone.
It's Jesus. Now we bestow one of them tax exempt status.
(08:55):
Why isn't Christianity or religion.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Christianity is not an organ religion a church that can
be imposed. Christianity is a philosophy. You don't have to
believe Jesus is God in order to admire his view
on life.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
No, but you have to believe Jesus is God to
be a Christian. For instance, I like a lot of Jesus' philosophy,
love your neighbor, little cheek, turning stone, notod casting. It's
very nice. But while I can get an A in
(09:31):
his philosophy class, I don't get to go to the
after party. You get what I'm saying here, Bill, So
you want to do this my place at your place,
because baratah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I'm.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
We'll be right back. We all know Christmas is everyone's
favorite holiday, Everyone's everyone's, but it is very difficult for
even our staunchest defenders of Christmas to keep the spirit
(10:13):
of the season when Christmas, it's very essence, is under
constant siege by someone something. It's the subject of our
new segment, War on Christmas Getting Weird edition. First up,
(10:33):
the general pattern of the War on Christmas.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
There's an even crazier topic out there. Remember this classic
Seinfeld moment.
Speaker 8 (10:40):
Out of that, I new holiday was born a Festivus.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
For the rest of us, please, that's a classic episode.
I mean, the episode was funny, but not Festimus.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Yes, that episode was funny, but not Festivus. The central
comedic conceit of that episode lot funny wait, why is
Festivus not a holiday for the rest of us?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Now?
Speaker 7 (11:09):
A nearly six foot tall Festivus pole made from empty
beer cans about to go up at the Florida State Capitol.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 7 (11:16):
It's part of a not so subtle protest against the
Nativity scene already on display there.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Who gives it? Can't you just pretend it? Can't you
just pretend it's a place for the wise men to
tie up their camels? How about that? I mean, really,
you're concerned there's a six foot Festivus pole made out
of beer cans. It's Florida. You're lucky. You're lucky. There's
(11:46):
not a stripper named Christmas swinging on it. It's you've
been to Florida. But I apologize, I apologize. You're upset.
Speaker 7 (11:57):
Why do I have to drive around with my kids
to look for Nativity scenes and be like, oh, yeah, kids,
look there's Baby Jesus behind the Festivus pull made out
of beer cant It's nuts.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yes, that sounds relatively nuts. Why are you driving around
looking for Nativity scenes in the car when you could
just bring your kids to where you work, where you'd
put a giant Nativity scene out on the plaza. But
(12:37):
as much as I'm used to Gretchen's yearly major danger warnings,
a little surprised to see Megan Kelly going full Christmas nog.
Speaker 9 (12:45):
So in Slate, they have a piece on dot com
Santa Claus should not be a white man anymore. By
the way, for all your kids watching at home, Sanna
just is white. But this person is just arguing that
that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But
you know, Sanna is what he is. And just so
you know, we're just debating this because someone wrote about
a kids.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It just got real. Santa is just white. And who
are you actually talking to? Children who are sophisticated enough
to be watching a news channel at ten o'clock at night,
yet innocent enough to still believe Santa Claus is real,
(13:38):
yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn't white.
Why that's such a narrow Yes, West Virginia, there is
a Santa Claus. But since we're pretending to debate this.
Speaker 9 (13:58):
Carryl author seems to have you know, she's African American
and she seems to have real pain at having grown
up with this image of a white Santa just because
it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Actually, I think that's the official slogan of oppression. Oppression
just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it
has to change. You know what's interesting, that's also the
(14:35):
slogan of Arby's. I don't know why we do that.
They're perfectly nice people, make perfectly nice food. I don't
know why we continue to do this. Now, now you
may wonder why on this news channel they're making assertions
(14:55):
of fact about a fictional character.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Santa Claus is based on Saint Nichol, who was an
actual person, a Greek bishop, and was a white man.
You can't take facts and then try to change them
to fit some sort of a political agenda or a
sensitivity agenda.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
There is so much crazy going on here, so much crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I don't even have time to.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Deal with a Fox News pundit saying you can't take
facts and try and change them to fit some kind
of political agenda. I can't say that.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Even though that's all. That's how much crazy is.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Going on here. But what she is suggesting is that
you can't just arbitrarily change the facts about the real
historical Saint Nicholas who was a white man, even though
he was from Greece, which is actually Turkey today, and
that white man lives at the North Pole and drives
(15:55):
a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. But you can't change
the facts. Of course, the real Saint Nicholas was from
a part of the world is now Turkey, and according
to forensic scientists who studied research originally commissioned by the Vatican,
he probably looked something like this. So who exactly is
(16:20):
changing the facts to make themselves more comfortable here actual
Saint Nicholas. Well, my guess is there'd be no Christmas
if he looked like that, dude, because he's probably still
on the no fly list. And then things got really weird.
Speaker 9 (16:39):
Jesus was a white man too, But you know, it's
like we have he was an historical figure. I mean,
that's a verifiable fact.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I'll give you that Jesus was an historical figure. But
you're gonna get a little pushback on the white thing.
You do know, Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
For more, we're joined by our Senior Christmas, Our Senior Christmas,
historical accuracy correspondent Jessica Williams. Jessica, thank you willing to
say Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Holaday, Merry merry Christmas.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
Well, the big news that I hear out of the
whole Jesus is white thing is that Jews are white.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Now, so congratulations, John, But.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
You know what about Santa? Do you do you feel
Santa is white? What about people insisting that Santa is white?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Oh? John, Santa is white. That's just a fact.
Speaker 10 (17:34):
It's Miracle on thirty fourth Street, now miracle on one
hundred and thirty fourth Street. The only the only Miracle
on one hundred and thirty fourth Street is that we
get to participate at all. Half the time, Santa skips
us on his way downtown, just like a taxi cab.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Santa is fiction. He's not even really Hey man, what
the hell are you doing? Hey? Kids, stop crying.
Speaker 10 (18:01):
Santa is really smart, and he's really white, he's really white.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
No, but Jessica, if we're talking history here, and that
is what they're saying, we're talking fact and history. Saint
Nicholas was from the area of the world that is
now Turkey, he was not some cherubic Wilford Brimley type.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hey, don't be stupid, John.
Speaker 10 (18:22):
A swarthy, Turkish Santa will make people very uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yes, yes, yes, but that Meghan said, just because you
feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean you should change it.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
Oh wait, No, Meghan said, if I feel uncomfortable, there's
no need to change it. If white people feel uncomfortable,
then we have to change it. And then for tend
it's the way it's always been. That's how this became this.
It works that way for everything, Like how this becomes this.
(18:49):
White people don't want to hear jail house rock from
somebody who'd actually been to jail. Real jail is uncomfortable,
Elvis jail is fun.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
He looked like you were having a great lord.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Right, I mean, John, That's how it was done.
Speaker 10 (19:06):
First you fix history, then you lock that down forever
in a boat. Sorry, Santa's not black just because some
blogger wishes he was, Just like Megan's not black just
because she.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Spills her name creatively.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
And let's face to John, there is no way this
could be Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But what no, very jolly.
Speaker 10 (19:28):
Why not because the moment white folks saw black man
with a big old bag coming down the chimney every
time to grab a gun and stand your ground.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Jessica Williams, thank you so much. Verry Christmas. The Holladay's
are coming up, and that means the start of a
decade's old tradition, does it? And I went on location
to watch it happen. America has had its share of
intractable wars, but Fox News has been tracking one forever war.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
In particular, it's the War on Christmas, the War on Christmas,
the War on Christmas to the War.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
On Christmas, and there's no end each sights.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Now it feels like the War on Christmas is coming
earlier and earlier every year.
Speaker 11 (20:06):
So we came to the Fox News All American Christmas
Tree Lighting Show to talk to people about how they're
surviving the War on Christmas.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I don't feel like there's a war on Christmas, and
I think if there was a war on Christmas, Christmas
move win.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Are you familiar with the War on Christmas.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
I've heard of.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
It, but I don't really think it's actually a thing.
So are you serious?
Speaker 6 (20:26):
People can't say Merry Christmas anymore.
Speaker 11 (20:28):
If I say Merry Christmas, and my neighbor ten times
in a row. You look at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Do you think that this tree.
Speaker 11 (20:35):
Lighting ceremony is so much smaller this year because Fox
lost so much money in the dominion lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That's very possible, but I haven't really.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Put a lot of fun in love.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Are you at all worried that they'll be no tree
lighting ceremony next year when smart metic comes in and
takes the rest of the cat Not really, no, no, no,
the hell will people even know it's Christmas? Outside of
those Christmas decorations and those Christmas and those.
Speaker 11 (20:57):
There's raw fell, there's a Sannah.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Finally, we spoke to some civilians who truly have experienced.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
The nug of war.
Speaker 8 (21:07):
Fox has talked a lot about how.
Speaker 9 (21:09):
There is a war on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I think there is.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
If I were to say happy Holidays, how would that
make you feel?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I might correct you.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Some people talk about saying happy Holidays. Fox is really
proud about saying Merry Christmas. They say there's a war
on Christmas. There is.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
There's a war on Christmas.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
I believe we look around you look at all the businesses,
looking at corporations that have you know.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Not allowed you to say that.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
I think that people are scared to speak up about
their Christianity, about their faith.
Speaker 11 (21:35):
Sure, there is a war on Christmas. In the group
facing the most vitriol for sure are Christians.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I think Christians specifically, yes, right now.
Speaker 11 (21:47):
Right now, But it's defending Christmas enough to hook on
my saying as nice list or does Saint Nick reconsider
when Fox News hosts say things like.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
This, I want to say something about Arab Americans. We've
had it.
Speaker 11 (21:59):
With Okay, so not your nice Someone at boxho said
we've had it with them, referencing Eric's in general nice
Jesse Waters three in the nice nice category.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Maybe because I'm a New Yorker and pretty, you know,
use of stuff, used to stuff now I've been mom,
keep been mind.
Speaker 11 (22:19):
Yeah, and so that's like led to an irrational hour
that yousicly project down to an entire group of people.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, so we got the five right here. Judge Janine, not.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Your nice, nice nice And I love to judge.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
He sees the world, call it that she sees it exactly,
that lady knows a way around exactly a bar a bar,
not your nice Fox News nice nice, nice nice? Yes,
what about when they lied to the American people about
the election results. That's naughty, that's not that.
Speaker 11 (22:48):
Is we can acknowledge that's naughty.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But overall Fox News nice, Nice, Who makes mistakes, We
all make mistakes. Who hasn't threatened the entire nation's trust
in democracy for one moment? We finally arrived at the
moment to the Claire Mission.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
Accomplished on the War on Christmas.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Two one until next year.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central,
and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plucks.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
You're listening to Comedy.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Central, you're probably worry about Our nation's been embroiled in
a long and bitter war.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
The first albo in the War on Christmas, the War
on Christmas, the War on Christmas, War on Christmas, War
on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
War on Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
It's not to be confused with War on Christmas is
a tremendous Christmas album Vexibles. For years now, Christmas has
been under attack, defended only by the brave souls of
Fox News. Are they still up to the task? That
is the subject of tonight's War on Christmas Friendly Fire Edition,
(00:50):
Let's Face Facts, the annual Fox War on Christmas. It's
become a little predictable. It's basically I imagine you can
make went up with the like a make Fox News
mad libs. Let's see so uh, let's see. Uh, let's
try to do one of these all right. Last week
(01:12):
in uh, I need the name of some godless liberal bastion.
Santa Monica. Okay, Santa Monica, that'll do. Let me just
fill in Santa Monica there and in Santa Monica a
group of give me the name of a small group
of annoying people with incredibly limited control over our culture.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Atheists.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, atheists will do. That's right. Everyone's favored uncle lives
in Oregon. No one ever says, yeah, so a group
of atheists have ruined Christmas by forcing the removal of
I need a classic Christmas symbol.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Ass damn it, Brian, we're trying to do something here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Let's go say in.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
The car a Nativity scene.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Thank you, Nativity scene. Some people are still grown ups
over there, actious scene. Okay, all right, so we're done.
Let's see if we can put that all together, shall we.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Atheists seem to have ended a sixty year old Christmas
tradition in Santa Monica, California.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
A federal judge backing Santa Monica's decision.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
To no longer allow Nativity scenes in a public park.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Oh my god, that is such an out. It's as
though the War on Christmas has become a rote observance,
devoid of all its original spiritual meaning. Even its most
ardent proponents have seen doubt creep in.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
Now a lot of people, for whatever reason, will look
at this interview today and they'll say, Gretchen Carlson and
Daren Costa are nuts. Okay, They're so nuts because they
think that there's this made up war on Christmas. We're
not nuts, are we? There is a war on Christmas.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
As a general rule, if you're trying to tell whether
you and one other person or nuts, ask a third person,
preferably someone outside the asylum. But since you asked the question,
am I nuts to think there's a war on Christmas?
It's only played for me to offer you a resounding yes. Nuts.
(03:35):
Because for whatever annoying local ticki tac Christmas abolishing story,
you and your merry band of persecution seeking researchers can
scour the wires to turn up the rest of us
can't swing a dead elf without knocking over an inflatable
snow globe or a giant blinking candy cane. For God's sakes,
(03:55):
Fox News itself is located in midtown Manhattan, the epicenter
of all that is godless, secular, gay, jewey, and hell bound.
And yet even here, all around your studio, it looks
like Santa's balls exploded. So that is in us. That
(04:19):
is a hypothesis. You know, in the old days before
the War on Christmas, the celebration of the Birth of
Christ lasted a day like birthdays do, And then it
seeped into the night before Christmas, the eve, if you will,
And then the next thing you know, we were riding
(04:39):
this thing all the way to Epiphany. Fine, twelve days
gave time for lords to leap and geese delay, and
partridges to pair and gold to ring, and it's just
twelve days of servants and poultry whatever. But it still
wasn't enough. There's a war on Christmas. Has anyone told Thanksgiving?
(05:02):
Because this year Black Friday aka Christmas's opening belt got
moved back a day to Black Thursday, or as we
used to call it, Thanksgiving. Christmas is so big now
it's eating other holidays. Watch your ass, Halloween your next.
(05:28):
I mean, that's a question. Do atheists land an occasional blow?
I guess even the Washington generals get lucky once in
a while. But when you look at the overall record
between the two teams, for godsakes, there are radio stations
that play nothing but Christmas carols, stores that sell nothing
but Christmas decorations all year long. There is a TV
(05:49):
channel devoted to a Yule log and it's kicking CNN's
But don't worry, non log burning channels. There's Christmas programs
for you as well. There's old timey traditional Christmas programming,
really old timey Dickenzie and Christmas special programming, New time Ey,
(06:14):
Urban Christmas specials, Mormon Christmas specials, Country Western Christmas specials,
Shipmunk Christmas specials, Otter Christmas specials, Bear Christmas specials, Cat
Christmas specials, Large Headed Child Christmas Day, Christmas, Jewish Christmas, whatever.
(06:38):
This is Christmas, Christmas Underwater, Christmas from the future, prehistoric Christmas.
That's right, there's a Christmas special celebrating Jesus' birth thousands
of years before the birth of Jesus. That is a
(07:03):
holiday that is not in danger. There is so much
Christmas all over the place, it's getting harder for Christmas
defenders to fight for Christmas without accidentally doing damage to it,
Which brings us to our friendly fire incident. Watch what
happens when our good friend Bill O'Reilly takes the atheist's bait.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
What religion is involved with Christmas? What religion?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Christianity?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That is not a religion, that's a philosophy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So you're gonna actually tell me on live television that
Christianity is not a religion, correct?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It is aph.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Bill, Bill Way Bill, have you learned nothing from our fringe.
You just handed that atheist another thing he can't Believeanity
is a religion. Christianity has a philosophical element, but there
(08:06):
is a difference between a philosophy and a religion. For instance,
let's look at Socrates and Jesus. They have a lot
in common, loose fitting clothing, beards, sandals, teaching through parable martyrdom.
But here's where we find the distinction between philosophy and religion.
After their martyrdom, one of them got better. I'll give you,
(08:33):
I'll give you a hit. It's the one who ascended
into heaven and is seated at the right hand of
the Father, who will come again and glory to judge
living in the dead, whose kingdom will have no end. Anyone, anyone, bueler, anyone.
It's Jesus. Now we bestow one of them tax exempt status.
(08:55):
Why isn't Christianity or religion.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Christianity is not an organ religion a church that can
be imposed. Christianity is a philosophy. You don't have to
believe Jesus is God in order to admire his view
on life.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
No, but you have to believe Jesus is God to
be a Christian. For instance, I like a lot of Jesus' philosophy,
love your neighbor, little cheek, turning stone, notod casting. It's
very nice. But while I can get an A in
(09:31):
his philosophy class, I don't get to go to the
after party. You get what I'm saying here, Bill, So
you want to do this my place at your place,
because baratah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I'm.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
We'll be right back. We all know Christmas is everyone's
favorite holiday, Everyone's everyone's, but it is very difficult for
even our staunchest defenders of Christmas to keep the spirit
(10:13):
of the season when Christmas, it's very essence, is under
constant siege by someone something. It's the subject of our
new segment, War on Christmas Getting Weird edition. First up,
(10:33):
the general pattern of the War on Christmas.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
There's an even crazier topic out there. Remember this classic
Seinfeld moment.
Speaker 8 (10:40):
Out of that, I new holiday was born a Festivus.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
For the rest of us, please, that's a classic episode.
I mean, the episode was funny, but not Festimus.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Yes, that episode was funny, but not Festivus. The central
comedic conceit of that episode lot funny wait, why is
Festivus not a holiday for the rest of us?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Now?
Speaker 7 (11:09):
A nearly six foot tall Festivus pole made from empty
beer cans about to go up at the Florida State Capitol.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 7 (11:16):
It's part of a not so subtle protest against the
Nativity scene already on display there.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Who gives it? Can't you just pretend it? Can't you
just pretend it's a place for the wise men to
tie up their camels? How about that? I mean, really,
you're concerned there's a six foot Festivus pole made out
of beer cans. It's Florida. You're lucky. You're lucky. There's
(11:46):
not a stripper named Christmas swinging on it. It's you've
been to Florida. But I apologize, I apologize. You're upset.
Speaker 7 (11:57):
Why do I have to drive around with my kids
to look for Nativity scenes and be like, oh, yeah, kids,
look there's Baby Jesus behind the Festivus pull made out
of beer cant It's nuts.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yes, that sounds relatively nuts. Why are you driving around
looking for Nativity scenes in the car when you could
just bring your kids to where you work, where you'd
put a giant Nativity scene out on the plaza. But
(12:37):
as much as I'm used to Gretchen's yearly major danger warnings,
a little surprised to see Megan Kelly going full Christmas nog.
Speaker 9 (12:45):
So in Slate, they have a piece on dot com
Santa Claus should not be a white man anymore. By
the way, for all your kids watching at home, Sanna
just is white. But this person is just arguing that
that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But
you know, Sanna is what he is. And just so
you know, we're just debating this because someone wrote about
a kids.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It just got real. Santa is just white. And who
are you actually talking to? Children who are sophisticated enough
to be watching a news channel at ten o'clock at night,
yet innocent enough to still believe Santa Claus is real,
(13:38):
yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn't white.
Why that's such a narrow Yes, West Virginia, there is
a Santa Claus. But since we're pretending to debate this.
Speaker 9 (13:58):
Carryl author seems to have you know, she's African American
and she seems to have real pain at having grown
up with this image of a white Santa just because
it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Actually, I think that's the official slogan of oppression. Oppression
just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it
has to change. You know what's interesting, that's also the
(14:35):
slogan of Arby's. I don't know why we do that.
They're perfectly nice people, make perfectly nice food. I don't
know why we continue to do this. Now, now you
may wonder why on this news channel they're making assertions
(14:55):
of fact about a fictional character.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Santa Claus is based on Saint Nichol, who was an
actual person, a Greek bishop, and was a white man.
You can't take facts and then try to change them
to fit some sort of a political agenda or a
sensitivity agenda.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
There is so much crazy going on here, so much crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I don't even have time to.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Deal with a Fox News pundit saying you can't take
facts and try and change them to fit some kind
of political agenda. I can't say that.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Even though that's all. That's how much crazy is.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Going on here. But what she is suggesting is that
you can't just arbitrarily change the facts about the real
historical Saint Nicholas who was a white man, even though
he was from Greece, which is actually Turkey today, and
that white man lives at the North Pole and drives
(15:55):
a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. But you can't change
the facts. Of course, the real Saint Nicholas was from
a part of the world is now Turkey, and according
to forensic scientists who studied research originally commissioned by the Vatican,
he probably looked something like this. So who exactly is
(16:20):
changing the facts to make themselves more comfortable here actual
Saint Nicholas. Well, my guess is there'd be no Christmas
if he looked like that, dude, because he's probably still
on the no fly list. And then things got really weird.
Speaker 9 (16:39):
Jesus was a white man too, But you know, it's
like we have he was an historical figure. I mean,
that's a verifiable fact.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I'll give you that Jesus was an historical figure. But
you're gonna get a little pushback on the white thing.
You do know, Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
For more, we're joined by our Senior Christmas, Our Senior Christmas,
historical accuracy correspondent Jessica Williams. Jessica, thank you willing to
say Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Holaday, Merry merry Christmas.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
Well, the big news that I hear out of the
whole Jesus is white thing is that Jews are white.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Now, so congratulations, John, But.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
You know what about Santa? Do you do you feel
Santa is white? What about people insisting that Santa is white?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Oh? John, Santa is white. That's just a fact.
Speaker 10 (17:34):
It's Miracle on thirty fourth Street, now miracle on one
hundred and thirty fourth Street. The only the only Miracle
on one hundred and thirty fourth Street is that we
get to participate at all. Half the time, Santa skips
us on his way downtown, just like a taxi cab.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Santa is fiction. He's not even really Hey man, what
the hell are you doing? Hey? Kids, stop crying.
Speaker 10 (18:01):
Santa is really smart, and he's really white, he's really white.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
No, but Jessica, if we're talking history here, and that
is what they're saying, we're talking fact and history. Saint
Nicholas was from the area of the world that is
now Turkey, he was not some cherubic Wilford Brimley type.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hey, don't be stupid, John.
Speaker 10 (18:22):
A swarthy, Turkish Santa will make people very uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yes, yes, yes, but that Meghan said, just because you
feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean you should change it.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
Oh wait, No, Meghan said, if I feel uncomfortable, there's
no need to change it. If white people feel uncomfortable,
then we have to change it. And then for tend
it's the way it's always been. That's how this became this.
It works that way for everything, Like how this becomes this.
(18:49):
White people don't want to hear jail house rock from
somebody who'd actually been to jail. Real jail is uncomfortable,
Elvis jail is fun.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
He looked like you were having a great lord.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Right, I mean, John, That's how it was done.
Speaker 10 (19:06):
First you fix history, then you lock that down forever
in a boat. Sorry, Santa's not black just because some
blogger wishes he was, Just like Megan's not black just
because she.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Spills her name creatively.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
And let's face to John, there is no way this
could be Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But what no, very jolly.
Speaker 10 (19:28):
Why not because the moment white folks saw black man
with a big old bag coming down the chimney every
time to grab a gun and stand your ground.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Jessica Williams, thank you so much. Verry Christmas. The Holladay's
are coming up, and that means the start of a
decade's old tradition, does it? And I went on location
to watch it happen. America has had its share of
intractable wars, but Fox News has been tracking one forever war.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
In particular, it's the War on Christmas, the War on Christmas,
the War on Christmas to the War.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
On Christmas, and there's no end each sights.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Now it feels like the War on Christmas is coming
earlier and earlier every year.
Speaker 11 (20:06):
So we came to the Fox News All American Christmas
Tree Lighting Show to talk to people about how they're
surviving the War on Christmas.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I don't feel like there's a war on Christmas, and
I think if there was a war on Christmas, Christmas
move win.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Are you familiar with the War on Christmas.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
I've heard of.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
It, but I don't really think it's actually a thing.
So are you serious?
Speaker 6 (20:26):
People can't say Merry Christmas anymore.
Speaker 11 (20:28):
If I say Merry Christmas, and my neighbor ten times
in a row. You look at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Do you think that this tree.
Speaker 11 (20:35):
Lighting ceremony is so much smaller this year because Fox
lost so much money in the dominion lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That's very possible, but I haven't really.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Put a lot of fun in love.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Are you at all worried that they'll be no tree
lighting ceremony next year when smart metic comes in and
takes the rest of the cat Not really, no, no, no,
the hell will people even know it's Christmas? Outside of
those Christmas decorations and those Christmas and those.
Speaker 11 (20:57):
There's raw fell, there's a Sannah.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Finally, we spoke to some civilians who truly have experienced.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
The nug of war.
Speaker 8 (21:07):
Fox has talked a lot about how.
Speaker 9 (21:09):
There is a war on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I think there is.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
If I were to say happy Holidays, how would that
make you feel?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I might correct you.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Some people talk about saying happy Holidays. Fox is really
proud about saying Merry Christmas. They say there's a war
on Christmas. There is.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
There's a war on Christmas.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
I believe we look around you look at all the businesses,
looking at corporations that have you know.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Not allowed you to say that.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
I think that people are scared to speak up about
their Christianity, about their faith.
Speaker 11 (21:35):
Sure, there is a war on Christmas. In the group
facing the most vitriol for sure are Christians.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I think Christians specifically, yes, right now.
Speaker 11 (21:47):
Right now, But it's defending Christmas enough to hook on
my saying as nice list or does Saint Nick reconsider
when Fox News hosts say things like.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
This, I want to say something about Arab Americans. We've
had it.
Speaker 11 (21:59):
With Okay, so not your nice Someone at boxho said
we've had it with them, referencing Eric's in general nice
Jesse Waters three in the nice nice category.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Maybe because I'm a New Yorker and pretty, you know,
use of stuff, used to stuff now I've been mom,
keep been mind.
Speaker 11 (22:19):
Yeah, and so that's like led to an irrational hour
that yousicly project down to an entire group of people.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, so we got the five right here. Judge Janine, not.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Your nice, nice nice And I love to judge.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
He sees the world, call it that she sees it exactly,
that lady knows a way around exactly a bar a bar,
not your nice Fox News nice nice, nice nice? Yes,
what about when they lied to the American people about
the election results. That's naughty, that's not that.
Speaker 11 (22:48):
Is we can acknowledge that's naughty.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But overall Fox News nice, Nice, Who makes mistakes, We
all make mistakes. Who hasn't threatened the entire nation's trust
in democracy for one moment? We finally arrived at the
moment to the Claire Mission.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
Accomplished on the War on Christmas.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Two one until next year.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central,
and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plucks.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
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