May 29, 2024 • 13 mins
Jordan Klepper and Ronny Chieng host a new segment called "Sports War" and debate the latest sports news including Caitlin Clark’s WNBA debut, the fecal hazards in Paris ahead of the Olympics, and the KC Chiefs kicker’s misogynist commencement speech. Plus, Lewis Black explains the many ways Tesla’s Cybertruck might be cyber-f**ked.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Now, Hey there, it's Michael Costa. The Daily Show's on
a break this week, but don't worry.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
We handpicked some of our favorite recent moments from the
show in case you missed them.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We'll be back with brand new episodes next week. Until then,
enjoy today's episode.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
We next in the show.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
There's been a lot of sports news recently, so for
some thoughtful, nuanced debate, we turn to Sports War.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You're ready for better?
Speaker 6 (00:29):
It's time for brought you by Camp. It's been really
free money.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
What's up scrubs?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I'm Ronny Chat and I'm Jordan Klepper.
Speaker 7 (00:46):
This is Sports War, the show where we are legally
not allowed to agree with each other.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
That's right, I mean that's that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, no, you're wrong. Let's get right to the biggest
story of the night.
Speaker 7 (00:57):
Caitlin Clark made her pro debut and learned everything gets
a little less fun after college.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Welcome to the WNBA.
Speaker 8 (01:04):
Caitlin Clark, the NCAA's all time Division one scoring leader,
made her professional debut on the road with the Indiana
Fever last night. She got off to a slow start, though,
missing her first four shots before scoring on a layup
midway through the second quarter. Clark finished with twenty points
in the Fevers ninety two to seventy one loss to
the Connecticut Sun. She also committed ten turnovers.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Sorry feminists, ten turnovers and a team lost by twenty
points in her first game. I've seen enough, man, I
think Caitlyn Clock is the worst basketball player in history.
She's tall, she's white, and she didn't show up when
it mattered. She's the Jordan Klepper of the WNBA.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
Right, Ran Iron, I'm gonna hit you with my car
and leave the scene. Let's look at the stats here, Roddie.
Look at these things. She scored twenty points. That's four
more than Michael Jordan had in his rookie debut, which
mathematically makes her stronger, fast, and better equipped to open
a steakhouse than Michael Jordan.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
All about.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I have a stat right here for you.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Okay, look at this.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Jordan Klepper did it lose his virginity until he's thirty eight?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Man, you're the go to whatever that is. Okay, here's
your stat right here each ship.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
Okay, moving on, we are officially seventy two days away
from the Olympics. In Paris, and the organizers are finding
themselves in deep duty.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Literally, there's a huge effort to get the river ten
fit for use in the Olympic Games. A report from
earlier this month of the bacteria, including pollution of fecal origin,
was far higher than the river permitted. Experts say that
even a rainstorm could raise ecali to an unacceptable level,
and Olympic organizers still hope that the River Sen can
(02:47):
be used for the swimming events.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Ooh, the river Save is filled with E coli. That
is gross.
Speaker 7 (02:54):
These athletes are going to pick up a disease at
the Olympics. It should be the old fashioned way acted
sex in the Olympic village, the only way to do it,
the only way to do usual.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Jordan, I think the Olympics needs more E coli okay,
because if you're a world class athlete, then prove it
by pole vaulting with active diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh you love you love you love eco. I love Ronnie,
you love it.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
You look the last time I came to your house
for a barbecue, you were sprinkling E coli on chicken
kebab like saltpe You know your hospatiality was for The Birds, Roddy,
the Birds.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Two Stars. I was puking all night.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, well I pew from just looking at your oblom face.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Oblom face?
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Is that how you say it?
Speaker 7 (03:33):
The point is just like the fourth of July at
Rodney's house, The Olympics are going to be rife with
e coli, which brings us to j Clep's Bet of
the Week, where you could pick which country will get
the most E coli in the twenty twenty bar Olympics,
brought to you by gambling.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Gambling, start spending. You've already won.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Nah, don't forget to clean your twenty percent bonusos by
joing the promo code.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Clipper sucks all cats. I don't like that. I told
you I don't like that cut.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
It's not you, it's a different clinic.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Okay, that's fine, then that's how No, just kidding? Is you?
Because you saw you? Okay? I suck you blow? Who cares?
We're all dead inside? Get over it. Let's talk about sports,
all right.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Speaking of sports, a player on the Kansas City Chiefs
is in hot water after making the biggest mistake any
football player could make talking.
Speaker 7 (04:17):
Some Chiefs fans are feeling stunned this morning by the
comments made by Kicker, Harris, and Bucker during the commencement
speech at Benedictine and Adjison.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Butcker claimed that a woman's most important role is that
of a homemaker and demanded that men be more masculine.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation
of men.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Hey, I say we should listen to this kicker. Okay, yeah,
they're the football players with the least amount of brain damage,
and I'm glad he's speaking up for emasculated men like Jordan.
Congratulations Jordan, for the first time in your life, someone
on a football team is speaking to you. You don't
have to wear that fake vosity jacket anymore, you Ronnie, I.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Told you that in confidence, moving to a new cool
is difficult. It was a natural way to make friends.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Anyway, This kicker thing, this kicker thing, raises a larger problem.
Why do we have people kicking in American sports? Americans
handle balls with our hands like Ronnie's mom.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You know she does strong, Jordan.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
You know my entire family has a foot fetish, true,
which brings us to all bet everything wage of the evening,
which useless position player will be the next to wade
into the culture war as always brought to you by gambling. Gambling,
it will fix everything.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Oh, speaking of gambling, let's move on to our final story.
Speaker 9 (05:38):
Prosecutors in Los Angeles, a Showy Otani's former interpreter has
agreed to plead guilty to stealing almost seventeen million dollars
from the La Dodger Superstar. The US Attorney's office say
Epe Masuara used the money to pay off gambling debts
and other personal expenses without Otani's knowledge.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
This interpreter stole seventeen million dollars on more time.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
That settles it.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Interpreters should be outlawed. Okay, if you don't know the language,
you should just have to.
Speaker 7 (06:06):
Guess hard disagree, hard, disagree, Roddy.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The problem is in interpreters. It's languages. We should only
have one. I suggest English.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Oh, big surprise, of course, this is just English. That's
only language your tiny brain can handle. The biggest head,
the smallest.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Brain, or English.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
English is going to be the dominant global language for
at least five more years. Look, I'm speaking the major
league language here. Why would I go back to Triple
A and learn Finnish Finish.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
That'sn't even a real language, you dumbasted.
Speaker 7 (06:36):
It is what they speak Againada, Roddie, read a book,
all right, but do it on your own time, because
we are onto the big bet of the nights.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Is this o.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
Tani story yet another sign that America's normalization of gambling.
It's corroding society, brought to you by gambling. Remember gambling
bet now live forever. Well, we're out of time. Joined
us next time on Sports War, we'll be debating Michael
Jordan versus Caitlin Clark who's more likely to contract E coli.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And not America Gamblack.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
W back in the Daily Show.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
When a news story falls for the Cracks, Lewis Black
catches it for a segment we call back in Black.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Cars used to be a way to let people know
you were cool, or, in the case of your friend's dad,
to let people know you were having a midlife crisis.
And in recent years, one of the coolest cars you
could buy was the Tesla. Not only was it a
status symbol.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
But it was electric.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It was like a compost bin that you could drink
and drive in. For a while, Tesla's stock price was skyrocketing,
but now it's sliding down like half of Mitch McConnell's face.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Are in and Tesla has fallen short of expectations. Elon
Musk's electric vehicle company releasing its first quarter earnings, showing
its biggest revenue drop in over a decade in the
first three months of the year, Carsel's dropping eight and
a half percent, adding to a plummeting stock price that
so far this year has gone down over forty percent.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Holy shit, down forty percent. The only thing worthless than
Tesla stock is a fully grown adult at p Didty's house.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Stop it.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
That's the least of the problems.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But don't worry, Tesla owner Elon Musk is a perfectly reasonable,
dumbest explanation for this.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
We should be thought of as an AI robotics company.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
If your value tells as just like an order company,
you just have to fundamentally the framework.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Sorry, Elon, my mistake. All this time, I thought your
company that sold cars was a car company.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
God, one of us must be.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
A real idiot.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
So Tesla's clearly in the shitter, and the thing that
was supposed to save it was the cyber truck, a
vehicle that looks like what happens when you inbreed Deloreans.
But unfortunately the truck appears to be cyber.
Speaker 10 (09:33):
Tesla, recalling its entire fleet of cyber trucks nearly four
thousand and all, the company says the accelerator pedal could
get stuck, causing to pick up to unintentionally speed up,
risking a craft.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Well remember, it's not a car crash, it's an AI crash.
Open your mind, man, Seriously. Though you recalled all of them,
none were okay. Even with the ball old winds. They
made one good one. I'm not gonna say which one.
(10:06):
I don't want to get shot.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
And this is just the.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And this is just the latest problem with robocops wagon,
because that thing's been shit in the bed since day one.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We've gotten a lot of tails of malfunction.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
So, for example, vehicles dying after traveling just one mile.
Speaker 9 (10:32):
The steamless steel vehicles are quickly showing signs of rust.
One guy sharing how the drive through car wash was
two marks for the Tesla cyber truck.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
He does know what happened, but says the owner's manual
does say you should never wash your car in sunlight.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
A Tesla cyber truck had to be rescued by a
Ford pickup after the tesla got stuck in the mud
and snow on a road in the Sierra south of
Lake Tahoe.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Oh fancy, cyber truck had to get rescued by the
big tough Ford. You are the laughing stock of all
the other trucks. That Ford pickup's probably banging your wife
right now, you cybercuck. Plus, what use is a truck
if it can't all throw That's like.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
A sex doll with no holes.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Now, I just seem weird having it on my couch.
And this car is just failing its owners. It's trying
to eat them.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Cybertruck users are reporting injuries from the automatic trunk.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Everybody's been waiting for this, the finger without further ado,
we're closing the cyber truck. I'm gonna put my finger
flat right here and see what happens.
Speaker 8 (11:42):
Ready, re ready?
Speaker 9 (11:49):
Oh okay, Oh my god, okay.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I can't even move my finger right now. I might
have actually broken it.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Good good, because I'm team cybertruck on this one.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You morons had it coming.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Do us all a favor, save us from another generation
of cyber truck drivers. Stick your balls in there too.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Luckily I still have all.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
My fingers so I can deliver this message to Elon
on behalf of Best the Stop Album. Unlike unlike AI,
this is pretty straightforward, So is this one.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Jordan blods Black Everybody.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You get your podcasts.
Speaker 6 (12:52):
Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Now, Hey there, it's Michael Costa. The Daily Show's on
a break this week, but don't worry.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
We handpicked some of our favorite recent moments from the
show in case you missed them.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We'll be back with brand new episodes next week. Until then,
enjoy today's episode.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
We next in the show.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
There's been a lot of sports news recently, so for
some thoughtful, nuanced debate, we turn to Sports War.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You're ready for better?
Speaker 6 (00:29):
It's time for brought you by Camp. It's been really
free money.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
What's up scrubs?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I'm Ronny Chat and I'm Jordan Klepper.
Speaker 7 (00:46):
This is Sports War, the show where we are legally
not allowed to agree with each other.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
That's right, I mean that's that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, no, you're wrong. Let's get right to the biggest
story of the night.
Speaker 7 (00:57):
Caitlin Clark made her pro debut and learned everything gets
a little less fun after college.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Welcome to the WNBA.
Speaker 8 (01:04):
Caitlin Clark, the NCAA's all time Division one scoring leader,
made her professional debut on the road with the Indiana
Fever last night. She got off to a slow start, though,
missing her first four shots before scoring on a layup
midway through the second quarter. Clark finished with twenty points
in the Fevers ninety two to seventy one loss to
the Connecticut Sun. She also committed ten turnovers.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Sorry feminists, ten turnovers and a team lost by twenty
points in her first game. I've seen enough, man, I
think Caitlyn Clock is the worst basketball player in history.
She's tall, she's white, and she didn't show up when
it mattered. She's the Jordan Klepper of the WNBA.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
Right, Ran Iron, I'm gonna hit you with my car
and leave the scene. Let's look at the stats here, Roddie.
Look at these things. She scored twenty points. That's four
more than Michael Jordan had in his rookie debut, which
mathematically makes her stronger, fast, and better equipped to open
a steakhouse than Michael Jordan.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
All about.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I have a stat right here for you.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Okay, look at this.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Jordan Klepper did it lose his virginity until he's thirty eight?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Man, you're the go to whatever that is. Okay, here's
your stat right here each ship.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
Okay, moving on, we are officially seventy two days away
from the Olympics. In Paris, and the organizers are finding
themselves in deep duty.
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Literally, there's a huge effort to get the river ten
fit for use in the Olympic Games. A report from
earlier this month of the bacteria, including pollution of fecal origin,
was far higher than the river permitted. Experts say that
even a rainstorm could raise ecali to an unacceptable level,
and Olympic organizers still hope that the River Sen can
(02:47):
be used for the swimming events.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Ooh, the river Save is filled with E coli. That
is gross.
Speaker 7 (02:54):
These athletes are going to pick up a disease at
the Olympics. It should be the old fashioned way acted
sex in the Olympic village, the only way to do it,
the only way to do usual.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Jordan, I think the Olympics needs more E coli okay,
because if you're a world class athlete, then prove it
by pole vaulting with active diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh you love you love you love eco. I love Ronnie,
you love it.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
You look the last time I came to your house
for a barbecue, you were sprinkling E coli on chicken
kebab like saltpe You know your hospatiality was for The Birds, Roddy,
the Birds.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Two Stars. I was puking all night.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, well I pew from just looking at your oblom face.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Oblom face?
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Is that how you say it?
Speaker 7 (03:33):
The point is just like the fourth of July at
Rodney's house, The Olympics are going to be rife with
e coli, which brings us to j Clep's Bet of
the Week, where you could pick which country will get
the most E coli in the twenty twenty bar Olympics,
brought to you by gambling.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Gambling, start spending. You've already won.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Nah, don't forget to clean your twenty percent bonusos by
joing the promo code.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Clipper sucks all cats. I don't like that. I told
you I don't like that cut.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
It's not you, it's a different clinic.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Okay, that's fine, then that's how No, just kidding? Is you?
Because you saw you? Okay? I suck you blow? Who cares?
We're all dead inside? Get over it. Let's talk about sports,
all right.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Speaking of sports, a player on the Kansas City Chiefs
is in hot water after making the biggest mistake any
football player could make talking.
Speaker 7 (04:17):
Some Chiefs fans are feeling stunned this morning by the
comments made by Kicker, Harris, and Bucker during the commencement
speech at Benedictine and Adjison.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Butcker claimed that a woman's most important role is that
of a homemaker and demanded that men be more masculine.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation
of men.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Hey, I say we should listen to this kicker. Okay, yeah,
they're the football players with the least amount of brain damage,
and I'm glad he's speaking up for emasculated men like Jordan.
Congratulations Jordan, for the first time in your life, someone
on a football team is speaking to you. You don't
have to wear that fake vosity jacket anymore, you Ronnie, I.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Told you that in confidence, moving to a new cool
is difficult. It was a natural way to make friends.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Anyway, This kicker thing, this kicker thing, raises a larger problem.
Why do we have people kicking in American sports? Americans
handle balls with our hands like Ronnie's mom.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You know she does strong, Jordan.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
You know my entire family has a foot fetish, true,
which brings us to all bet everything wage of the evening,
which useless position player will be the next to wade
into the culture war as always brought to you by gambling. Gambling,
it will fix everything.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Oh, speaking of gambling, let's move on to our final story.
Speaker 9 (05:38):
Prosecutors in Los Angeles, a Showy Otani's former interpreter has
agreed to plead guilty to stealing almost seventeen million dollars
from the La Dodger Superstar. The US Attorney's office say
Epe Masuara used the money to pay off gambling debts
and other personal expenses without Otani's knowledge.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
This interpreter stole seventeen million dollars on more time.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
That settles it.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Interpreters should be outlawed. Okay, if you don't know the language,
you should just have to.
Speaker 7 (06:06):
Guess hard disagree, hard, disagree, Roddy.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The problem is in interpreters. It's languages. We should only
have one. I suggest English.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Oh, big surprise, of course, this is just English. That's
only language your tiny brain can handle. The biggest head,
the smallest.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Brain, or English.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
English is going to be the dominant global language for
at least five more years. Look, I'm speaking the major
league language here. Why would I go back to Triple
A and learn Finnish Finish.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
That'sn't even a real language, you dumbasted.
Speaker 7 (06:36):
It is what they speak Againada, Roddie, read a book,
all right, but do it on your own time, because
we are onto the big bet of the nights.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Is this o.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
Tani story yet another sign that America's normalization of gambling.
It's corroding society, brought to you by gambling. Remember gambling
bet now live forever. Well, we're out of time. Joined
us next time on Sports War, we'll be debating Michael
Jordan versus Caitlin Clark who's more likely to contract E coli.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And not America Gamblack.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
W back in the Daily Show.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
When a news story falls for the Cracks, Lewis Black
catches it for a segment we call back in Black.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Cars used to be a way to let people know
you were cool, or, in the case of your friend's dad,
to let people know you were having a midlife crisis.
And in recent years, one of the coolest cars you
could buy was the Tesla. Not only was it a
status symbol.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
But it was electric.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It was like a compost bin that you could drink
and drive in. For a while, Tesla's stock price was skyrocketing,
but now it's sliding down like half of Mitch McConnell's face.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Are in and Tesla has fallen short of expectations. Elon
Musk's electric vehicle company releasing its first quarter earnings, showing
its biggest revenue drop in over a decade in the
first three months of the year, Carsel's dropping eight and
a half percent, adding to a plummeting stock price that
so far this year has gone down over forty percent.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Holy shit, down forty percent. The only thing worthless than
Tesla stock is a fully grown adult at p Didty's house.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Stop it.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
That's the least of the problems.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But don't worry, Tesla owner Elon Musk is a perfectly reasonable,
dumbest explanation for this.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
We should be thought of as an AI robotics company.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
If your value tells as just like an order company,
you just have to fundamentally the framework.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Sorry, Elon, my mistake. All this time, I thought your
company that sold cars was a car company.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
God, one of us must be.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
A real idiot.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
So Tesla's clearly in the shitter, and the thing that
was supposed to save it was the cyber truck, a
vehicle that looks like what happens when you inbreed Deloreans.
But unfortunately the truck appears to be cyber.
Speaker 10 (09:33):
Tesla, recalling its entire fleet of cyber trucks nearly four
thousand and all, the company says the accelerator pedal could
get stuck, causing to pick up to unintentionally speed up,
risking a craft.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Well remember, it's not a car crash, it's an AI crash.
Open your mind, man, Seriously. Though you recalled all of them,
none were okay. Even with the ball old winds. They
made one good one. I'm not gonna say which one.
(10:06):
I don't want to get shot.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
And this is just the.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And this is just the latest problem with robocops wagon,
because that thing's been shit in the bed since day one.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
We've gotten a lot of tails of malfunction.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
So, for example, vehicles dying after traveling just one mile.
Speaker 9 (10:32):
The steamless steel vehicles are quickly showing signs of rust.
One guy sharing how the drive through car wash was
two marks for the Tesla cyber truck.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
He does know what happened, but says the owner's manual
does say you should never wash your car in sunlight.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
A Tesla cyber truck had to be rescued by a
Ford pickup after the tesla got stuck in the mud
and snow on a road in the Sierra south of
Lake Tahoe.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Oh fancy, cyber truck had to get rescued by the
big tough Ford. You are the laughing stock of all
the other trucks. That Ford pickup's probably banging your wife
right now, you cybercuck. Plus, what use is a truck
if it can't all throw That's like.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
A sex doll with no holes.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Now, I just seem weird having it on my couch.
And this car is just failing its owners. It's trying
to eat them.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Cybertruck users are reporting injuries from the automatic trunk.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Everybody's been waiting for this, the finger without further ado,
we're closing the cyber truck. I'm gonna put my finger
flat right here and see what happens.
Speaker 8 (11:42):
Ready, re ready?
Speaker 9 (11:49):
Oh okay, Oh my god, okay.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I can't even move my finger right now. I might
have actually broken it.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Good good, because I'm team cybertruck on this one.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You morons had it coming.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Do us all a favor, save us from another generation
of cyber truck drivers. Stick your balls in there too.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Luckily I still have all.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
My fingers so I can deliver this message to Elon
on behalf of Best the Stop Album. Unlike unlike AI,
this is pretty straightforward, So is this one.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Jordan blods Black Everybody.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You get your podcasts.
Speaker 6 (12:52):
Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
Popular Podcasts
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.