September 21, 2024 • 17 mins
Ronny Chieng covers Donald Trump’s attempt to blame the Democrats for political violence after surviving a second assassination attempt. Plus, this week’s top financial news, including interest-rate cuts and Trump’s new family cryptocurrency business.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
M Ever since Joe Biden dropped out for being old
as shit, lots of people have been saying, what about
Donald Trump. He's also an old man. But listen, Trump
has energy. Okay, look how much he got done this weekend.
(00:24):
He held a rally, he started at a crypto company
you definitely should put all your money into. And he
got in nine hoes of golf, well, five hose. That
was a bit of an interruption.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Tonight the chili, new details and the apparent second assassination
attempt on Donald Trump.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yo again, Hey, will you people stop trying to assassinate
Donald Trump. Not only is it morally wrong, but you're
also just giving him more things to brag about. They
only tried to kill Overham Lincoln once. That makes me
twice as great as him. But yes, this weekend, a
crazy person tried to hunt Donald Trump his natural habitat
his golf course.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Investigators say a Secret Service agent monitoring the woods ahead
of mister Trump as he played golf on Sunday, saw
a rifle barrel through the tree line and opened fire.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
The subject, who did not have line of sight to
the former president, fled the scene.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
He did not fire or get off any shots.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
At our agent's.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Cell phone record show he had been in place at
the edge of the golf course for nearly twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
This guy managed to walk into Trump's golf course and
stay there undetected for twelve hours. Okay, and I don't
know if you've thought about this, Trump, but maybe you
should consider building, you know, like a wall.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Like I don't know if you're like a.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You know, a wall guy.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Just just think about it.
Speaker 7 (01:43):
But by the.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Way, have you noticed that the news reports are all
like a harrowing neo tragedy sending chills through a nation.
And meanwhile, everyone you actually know is like, oh, oh yeah, yeah,
I saw that. Yeah. I mean, we have to act
like it's a big deal. But it doesn't really have
the same impact of the first one. You know. It's
kind of like Black Panther two. You're like, yeah, I
(02:07):
guess I'll see it. I mean, how's that gonna work?
Speaker 7 (02:09):
Now?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
The Cicco Service is getting a lot of heat for
letting that guy get this far, but don't worry, they're
taking action as part of.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
That increase focus on security. The Palm Beach County Sheriff
now says that mar A Lago behind me has the
highest security level possible, equivalent to when Donald Trump was president.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's right, the highest security level possible. It goes security,
maximum security, and then Homer Loane level. I'm talking paint
cans on the stairs, scary movies playing really loud, a
codboard cutout of Trump in the windows, moving back and forth,
and if things get really bad, Trump's scary old friend
will show up.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
And protect it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Now, the motive of the assassin remains unclear, so we'll
have to look at who might have a reason to
be angry at Donald Trump.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
On Sunday, three hours before the attempt on his life,
Trump laired I hate Taylor Swift on Truth's so Shaw,
reacting to her bombshell endorsement of Kamala Harris.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Donald tweeting, I hate Taylor Swift. That's dangerous. I mean
I would I would rather buy one of those hesblop
pages than tweet I hate Taylor Swift. I think I
think Trump needs to stick to racism. It's less divisive.
But the assassin this weekend was probably not a swiftye Okay,
he doesn't fit the mo swifty is on nonviolent They
(03:26):
prefer the cyber bully you until you kill yourself. So
why did this guy come for Trump? I mean, according
to JD. Vance, Trump's VP and the worst thing that
happened to cat ladies since feline aids. Democrats made him
do it.
Speaker 8 (03:40):
The left needs to tone down the rhetoric and needs
to cut this crap out. We cannot tell the American
people that one candidate is a fascist and if he's elected,
it is going to be the end of American democracy.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, liberals, stop accurately describing Trump. Okay, you're putting him
in danger when you repeat the things he says verbato.
But JD. Vans has a point. The left needs to
stop calling its political opponents fascist. Okay, you don't see
Donald Trump doing that all the time.
Speaker 7 (04:12):
She's a Marxist, she's a fascist. She's a Marxist communist
fascist socialist. We have a fascist person running. There's a
radical left Marxist communist fascist. She's a Marxist communist fascist person.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
That last one felt like he ran out of woods
to end it is. She's a Marxist communist, fascist dermatologist.
I mean, Trump has called Kamala fascist so much I'm
not sure he knows her name. It's like when you
say to a coworker, oh hey, hey, yeah, good to
see you, my fascist buddy. Don't forget the rules of
(04:58):
slurs either. Okay, you can use if you are one.
That's why I can call someone else Ronnie, but you
can't call me ronnie. Okay, that's our words. But look,
whether or not you think the rhetoric should be toned down,
it's just not something that Trump and Vents actually believe in.
I mean, for the past week, the city of Springfield
has been overrun with bomb threats after Trump and Vents
claimed that Haitian immigrants are eating everyone's cats and dogs,
(05:20):
which there is no evidence of. I mean, people love
posting photos of their food. Okay, so we would have
seen it by now. But when Trump was asked about
those bomb threats, he didn't seem too concerned.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Did you announce the bomb threats in Springfield, Ohio?
Speaker 9 (05:35):
I don't know what happened with the bomb threats.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
I know that it's been taken over by illegal migrants.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, the guy who wants everyone to believe he's super
concerned about political violence can't even bring himself to say
he's against bomb threats. I mean, what more information are
you waiting for. It's a bomb threat, you need to
know who the bomb was going to vote for. I mean,
I can't believe this guy is saying that. Very find
bomb threats on both sides. You know, this isn't a
(06:03):
trick question. This is a layup for politicians. So I
do support the troops. So do you like Killa Swift
to say yes, it's a layup? So any of the
heater rhetoric in this country change? Probably not, But there
was at least one moment over the weekend that offered
a glimmer of hope.
Speaker 10 (06:22):
President Biden tonight spoke on the phone with Trump. The
White House describes the conversation as cordial, with Biden sharing
his relief that the former president is safe, and then
Trump thanking Biden for the call.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, Joe Biden, I forgot about that guy. That's right,
he's the president. It's so nice when two eighty old
men can speak to each other on the last piece
of technology they can truly understand. And I know you're
thinking it would be great if we knew exactly what
they talked about on that call. Well, luckily we had
(06:55):
the Daily Show. God hands on the very real audio recorded.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
Hello, Hey, Donnie, it's me President Joe uh Biden Biden.
Myname's Joe Brandon. I just want to say I'm glad
you're safe. Directing Secretary Service, make sure may law go
completely secure.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Thank you, Joe, and let me just say, please come back.
Huh please, Joe. This race has no fun without you.
Everyone is shooting at me. This black lady keeps laughing
at me in the debates. I need you back, Joe.
We had good times together.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Didn't we.
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Of course we did, Donnie r Goes. She was us
sinking in my life purpose Nowadays no one even pays
attention to me. Just yesterday, phoot down fire stairs. Jill
just walked over me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Then tell everyone you're back in the race. You can
call me a threat to democracy. I'll call you a
demented head of an international crime family. It'll be like
old times.
Speaker 7 (07:55):
Don't you think I want to They won't let me,
and she posts you. Yes, shot my door right now,
a baseball man. Sorry, Donny, I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I gotta go to jd Vance just called women walking
embryo bags, so I gotta deal with that.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Good Bye, Joe.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Wait Donnie, run away with me. What Let me at
your old road tree at five o'clock. We'll drive some
small Latino country and run for president there. Oh my god,
is this really happening?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Are you serious, Joe?
Speaker 7 (08:28):
I'm as serious as you represent democracy too. You are
old friend.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You have that senator bitch. You've made me the happiest
man alive.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's not the big news. If there's one issue that
Vota say is the most important to them in this election,
it's the economy. It's the top of the list, right
above crime, healthcare, and Haitian immigrants eating my grandmother. Oh wait, sorry,
she's just outside gardening.
Speaker 11 (08:58):
My bad, My bad.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
But today the Federal Reserve told all the people bitching
about the economy to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
This is CNN breaking news.
Speaker 12 (09:09):
We do have breaking news.
Speaker 13 (09:10):
Just into CNN the Federal Reserve making its announcement on
interest rate cuts.
Speaker 14 (09:16):
The Fed just delivered its first interest rate cuts since COVID,
and it is a big one.
Speaker 15 (09:20):
Half a percentage point.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh my god, it's you. I assume.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
From the way he said it.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I mean, I guess this is a big deal. A
lowes's interest rates mean lower cop payments, credit corp payments,
and of course cheaper home loans. So you know that
house you couldn't afford, Well, a half point decrease means
that now you can afford a bus ticket to drive
past it. American dream alive. But who cares about a
(09:51):
federal reserve? What about those of us outside the system?
Hm us rebels. We don't keep out money in social
constructs like banks, so we don't have to pay taxes. Well,
you're in luck, my friend, because the last real American
has just announced the new investment opportunity that's gonna make
your wallet blow up like a hes bull up pager in.
Speaker 14 (10:09):
The crypto space, Donald Trump has officially rolled out World
Liberty Financial, a crypto adventure that will sell tokens to
wealthy investors. Or this just one day after an apparent
assassination attempt on his life.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yes, having a near death experience has made Trump focus
on what truly matters in life, selling crypto and this
is great news. Donald Trump, the world's most trustworthy businessman,
is now in crypto, the world's most trustworthy business And
what could make this deal better than Trump? How about
(10:46):
more Trumps?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Also involved in the crypto adventure are Donald Trump's sons
Donald Trump Junior, Eric Trump, and even eighteen year old
Baron Trump, whose official title is D five Visionary.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Oh shit, they got four Trumps now, I mean, forget
Nepo babies. That's a whole Nepo nursery. I mean, look,
I'm one hundred percent in this. Okay, shut up and
take my money. I just have a few questions, like
how does this work and what is it?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
So?
Speaker 15 (11:14):
This new Trump backed business called World Liberty Financial, yet
to release key details about it's finances or exact purpose.
Its website, though prominently features photos of Trump and touts
a digital currency kind of like bitcoin, but the value
of that currency would be pegged to the US dollar.
Speaker 13 (11:30):
World Liberty Financial announced it will sell tokens to accredited investors.
Those don't be transferable or earn a yield, but they
will allow holders to vote on the company's future. Users
can transact directly with each other without the middleman of
a bank, and everything is going to occur on the blockchain.
And that's essentially a public digital letter.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I'm in. I'm just not sure what I'm in. It
is a little confusing, so maybe we could, I don't know,
do that thing from the Big Short and have Mogol
Robbie explain this Trump business to us in a bathtub.
Speaker 10 (12:05):
It's a scam.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh right, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 6 (12:17):
See it now.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
But still, I mean, that's just one person's opinion. Is
there anyone else who's an expert on scams, who's had
some thoughts a few years ago on crypto bitcoin?
Speaker 7 (12:29):
It just seems like a scam.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Quote, I am not a fan of bitcoin and other
cryptocurrencies which are not money and whose value is highly
volatile and based on thin air.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Okay, pretty persuasive, But I think I'm gonna need to
see him say that in a bathtub naked. There you go,
there you go. Now I know it's a scam and
I'm turned on. I'm sorry, guys, I really thought this
was a sure thing. But of course Don Trump doesn't
(13:02):
know anything about crypto Now, if he had some actual
financial experts who are running the company for him, that
would be a different story.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
One of the deal makers behind World Liberty Financial is
Chase Hero, who previously sold Colon cleansers online after serving
time in prison for dealing marijuana.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Wow, Trump's partner in this is a weird dealer turned
prisoner turned Colon Clean's Marketer.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Clearly he understands the concepts of diversifying your portfolio. I mean,
maybe I can trust this thing. But is there anything
Chase hero said that makes it clear he understands how
the crypto business works.
Speaker 11 (13:45):
You can literally sell in the can wrapped in piss
covered in human skin for a billion dollars if the
story's right, because people will buy it. And that is
what is going on in the crypto space. And like
I said by other video, I'm not going to question
the right wrong of all that. All I'm saying is,
as a human being, you have the ability to make
a ton of money right now.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
So the guy running Trump's crypto company says, crypto is basically,
and I quote, a can of shit wrapped in piss
that you can sell to idiots. I mean that is crazy.
I did not know you could wrap something in piss.
It's a liquid. This guy's a genius. I can't wait
(14:31):
to give him my money. I just wish there was
just one more guy who could lend his credibility to
this company.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
World Liberty Financial also has Chase Heroes longtime partner Zachary Folkman,
a former pickup artist who under the name Zach Bauer,
founded a company called Date Hotter Girls.
Speaker 14 (14:50):
How many guys came here to learn how to take
girls home and bang them?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Finally the answer, Finally, the answer to the question what
if Jesus had herpes? So to sum it up, I
could not be more excited to trust my kids insulin
(15:21):
money with these three guys, Donald Trump, a shit in
a can salesman, and timUL Russell brand. But the question
is is this investment right for you? Only you can
answer that. But I must say I found that new
ad very persuasive.
Speaker 9 (15:39):
Attention Donald Trump fans, introducing World Liberty Financial, the President's
latest venture.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
How does it work well?
Speaker 9 (15:46):
Using the blockchain we meant a crypto coin, or we
exchange other crypto coins, or maybe we platform the D
five blah blah blah. Look, we don't know what this
is yet, but you know the deal. Trump's name is
on it, so you buy it, okay. Crypto is a
complex intersection of finance and technology, and we don't know
shit about it either.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
But what we do know is you like Trump.
Speaker 9 (16:05):
Trump like money, you give Trump money, don't actly? You
need to do your due diligence here, Oh, let me,
read the perspectus and make sure this is a sound
financial decision. Thank you, pay us. Oh you want a chart, fine,
here's a chart.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
This is you giving money to Trump.
Speaker 9 (16:21):
You comprehending all this warm buffet. I'm sorry, but we
have less than fifty days to the election to cram
in all the cash grabs we can, so we don't
have time for a bunch of questions like are we
ensured by the FDIC Are.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You kidding me?
Speaker 9 (16:34):
The only fdicee here is you, the fucking dummies investing cash.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Give us your money.
Speaker 9 (16:39):
If you don't have money, then get it, take out
a loan, steal it from your daughter's wallet, rob a bank,
rob a blood bank, and sell the blood on the
black market.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
Don't get Trump involved unless it works.
Speaker 9 (16:49):
Then he wants a cut the hold on hold onut,
I have a financial disclosure we legally have to read.
This is a grift. You are the mark.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Ignore that or don't. You're gonna fall for it?
Speaker 8 (17:00):
World liberty, financial Trump, crypto, blockchain, blah blah blah.
Speaker 11 (17:05):
Money.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
Please explore more.
Speaker 12 (17:08):
Shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The
Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily
Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and
stream full episodes anytime on Paramount
Speaker 6 (17:20):
Plus Paramount Podcasts
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
M Ever since Joe Biden dropped out for being old
as shit, lots of people have been saying, what about
Donald Trump. He's also an old man. But listen, Trump
has energy. Okay, look how much he got done this weekend.
(00:24):
He held a rally, he started at a crypto company
you definitely should put all your money into. And he
got in nine hoes of golf, well, five hose. That
was a bit of an interruption.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Tonight the chili, new details and the apparent second assassination
attempt on Donald Trump.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yo again, Hey, will you people stop trying to assassinate
Donald Trump. Not only is it morally wrong, but you're
also just giving him more things to brag about. They
only tried to kill Overham Lincoln once. That makes me
twice as great as him. But yes, this weekend, a
crazy person tried to hunt Donald Trump his natural habitat
his golf course.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Investigators say a Secret Service agent monitoring the woods ahead
of mister Trump as he played golf on Sunday, saw
a rifle barrel through the tree line and opened fire.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
The subject, who did not have line of sight to
the former president, fled the scene.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
He did not fire or get off any shots.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
At our agent's.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Cell phone record show he had been in place at
the edge of the golf course for nearly twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
This guy managed to walk into Trump's golf course and
stay there undetected for twelve hours. Okay, and I don't
know if you've thought about this, Trump, but maybe you
should consider building, you know, like a wall.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Like I don't know if you're like a.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You know, a wall guy.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Just just think about it.
Speaker 7 (01:43):
But by the.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Way, have you noticed that the news reports are all
like a harrowing neo tragedy sending chills through a nation.
And meanwhile, everyone you actually know is like, oh, oh yeah, yeah,
I saw that. Yeah. I mean, we have to act
like it's a big deal. But it doesn't really have
the same impact of the first one. You know. It's
kind of like Black Panther two. You're like, yeah, I
(02:07):
guess I'll see it. I mean, how's that gonna work?
Speaker 7 (02:09):
Now?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
The Cicco Service is getting a lot of heat for
letting that guy get this far, but don't worry, they're
taking action as part of.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
That increase focus on security. The Palm Beach County Sheriff
now says that mar A Lago behind me has the
highest security level possible, equivalent to when Donald Trump was president.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's right, the highest security level possible. It goes security,
maximum security, and then Homer Loane level. I'm talking paint
cans on the stairs, scary movies playing really loud, a
codboard cutout of Trump in the windows, moving back and forth,
and if things get really bad, Trump's scary old friend
will show up.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
And protect it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Now, the motive of the assassin remains unclear, so we'll
have to look at who might have a reason to
be angry at Donald Trump.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
On Sunday, three hours before the attempt on his life,
Trump laired I hate Taylor Swift on Truth's so Shaw,
reacting to her bombshell endorsement of Kamala Harris.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Donald tweeting, I hate Taylor Swift. That's dangerous. I mean
I would I would rather buy one of those hesblop
pages than tweet I hate Taylor Swift. I think I
think Trump needs to stick to racism. It's less divisive.
But the assassin this weekend was probably not a swiftye Okay,
he doesn't fit the mo swifty is on nonviolent They
(03:26):
prefer the cyber bully you until you kill yourself. So
why did this guy come for Trump? I mean, according
to JD. Vance, Trump's VP and the worst thing that
happened to cat ladies since feline aids. Democrats made him
do it.
Speaker 8 (03:40):
The left needs to tone down the rhetoric and needs
to cut this crap out. We cannot tell the American
people that one candidate is a fascist and if he's elected,
it is going to be the end of American democracy.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, liberals, stop accurately describing Trump. Okay, you're putting him
in danger when you repeat the things he says verbato.
But JD. Vans has a point. The left needs to
stop calling its political opponents fascist. Okay, you don't see
Donald Trump doing that all the time.
Speaker 7 (04:12):
She's a Marxist, she's a fascist. She's a Marxist communist
fascist socialist. We have a fascist person running. There's a
radical left Marxist communist fascist. She's a Marxist communist fascist person.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
That last one felt like he ran out of woods
to end it is. She's a Marxist communist, fascist dermatologist.
I mean, Trump has called Kamala fascist so much I'm
not sure he knows her name. It's like when you
say to a coworker, oh hey, hey, yeah, good to
see you, my fascist buddy. Don't forget the rules of
(04:58):
slurs either. Okay, you can use if you are one.
That's why I can call someone else Ronnie, but you
can't call me ronnie. Okay, that's our words. But look,
whether or not you think the rhetoric should be toned down,
it's just not something that Trump and Vents actually believe in.
I mean, for the past week, the city of Springfield
has been overrun with bomb threats after Trump and Vents
claimed that Haitian immigrants are eating everyone's cats and dogs,
(05:20):
which there is no evidence of. I mean, people love
posting photos of their food. Okay, so we would have
seen it by now. But when Trump was asked about
those bomb threats, he didn't seem too concerned.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Did you announce the bomb threats in Springfield, Ohio?
Speaker 9 (05:35):
I don't know what happened with the bomb threats.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
I know that it's been taken over by illegal migrants.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, the guy who wants everyone to believe he's super
concerned about political violence can't even bring himself to say
he's against bomb threats. I mean, what more information are
you waiting for. It's a bomb threat, you need to
know who the bomb was going to vote for. I mean,
I can't believe this guy is saying that. Very find
bomb threats on both sides. You know, this isn't a
(06:03):
trick question. This is a layup for politicians. So I
do support the troops. So do you like Killa Swift
to say yes, it's a layup? So any of the
heater rhetoric in this country change? Probably not, But there
was at least one moment over the weekend that offered
a glimmer of hope.
Speaker 10 (06:22):
President Biden tonight spoke on the phone with Trump. The
White House describes the conversation as cordial, with Biden sharing
his relief that the former president is safe, and then
Trump thanking Biden for the call.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, Joe Biden, I forgot about that guy. That's right,
he's the president. It's so nice when two eighty old
men can speak to each other on the last piece
of technology they can truly understand. And I know you're
thinking it would be great if we knew exactly what
they talked about on that call. Well, luckily we had
(06:55):
the Daily Show. God hands on the very real audio recorded.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
Hello, Hey, Donnie, it's me President Joe uh Biden Biden.
Myname's Joe Brandon. I just want to say I'm glad
you're safe. Directing Secretary Service, make sure may law go
completely secure.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Thank you, Joe, and let me just say, please come back.
Huh please, Joe. This race has no fun without you.
Everyone is shooting at me. This black lady keeps laughing
at me in the debates. I need you back, Joe.
We had good times together.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Didn't we.
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Of course we did, Donnie r Goes. She was us
sinking in my life purpose Nowadays no one even pays
attention to me. Just yesterday, phoot down fire stairs. Jill
just walked over me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Then tell everyone you're back in the race. You can
call me a threat to democracy. I'll call you a
demented head of an international crime family. It'll be like
old times.
Speaker 7 (07:55):
Don't you think I want to They won't let me,
and she posts you. Yes, shot my door right now,
a baseball man. Sorry, Donny, I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I gotta go to jd Vance just called women walking
embryo bags, so I gotta deal with that.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Good Bye, Joe.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Wait Donnie, run away with me. What Let me at
your old road tree at five o'clock. We'll drive some
small Latino country and run for president there. Oh my god,
is this really happening?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Are you serious, Joe?
Speaker 7 (08:28):
I'm as serious as you represent democracy too. You are
old friend.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You have that senator bitch. You've made me the happiest
man alive.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's not the big news. If there's one issue that
Vota say is the most important to them in this election,
it's the economy. It's the top of the list, right
above crime, healthcare, and Haitian immigrants eating my grandmother. Oh wait, sorry,
she's just outside gardening.
Speaker 11 (08:58):
My bad, My bad.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
But today the Federal Reserve told all the people bitching
about the economy to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
This is CNN breaking news.
Speaker 12 (09:09):
We do have breaking news.
Speaker 13 (09:10):
Just into CNN the Federal Reserve making its announcement on
interest rate cuts.
Speaker 14 (09:16):
The Fed just delivered its first interest rate cuts since COVID,
and it is a big one.
Speaker 15 (09:20):
Half a percentage point.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh my god, it's you. I assume.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
From the way he said it.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I mean, I guess this is a big deal. A
lowes's interest rates mean lower cop payments, credit corp payments,
and of course cheaper home loans. So you know that
house you couldn't afford, Well, a half point decrease means
that now you can afford a bus ticket to drive
past it. American dream alive. But who cares about a
(09:51):
federal reserve? What about those of us outside the system?
Hm us rebels. We don't keep out money in social
constructs like banks, so we don't have to pay taxes. Well,
you're in luck, my friend, because the last real American
has just announced the new investment opportunity that's gonna make
your wallet blow up like a hes bull up pager in.
Speaker 14 (10:09):
The crypto space, Donald Trump has officially rolled out World
Liberty Financial, a crypto adventure that will sell tokens to
wealthy investors. Or this just one day after an apparent
assassination attempt on his life.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yes, having a near death experience has made Trump focus
on what truly matters in life, selling crypto and this
is great news. Donald Trump, the world's most trustworthy businessman,
is now in crypto, the world's most trustworthy business And
what could make this deal better than Trump? How about
(10:46):
more Trumps?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Also involved in the crypto adventure are Donald Trump's sons
Donald Trump Junior, Eric Trump, and even eighteen year old
Baron Trump, whose official title is D five Visionary.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Oh shit, they got four Trumps now, I mean, forget
Nepo babies. That's a whole Nepo nursery. I mean, look,
I'm one hundred percent in this. Okay, shut up and
take my money. I just have a few questions, like
how does this work and what is it?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
So?
Speaker 15 (11:14):
This new Trump backed business called World Liberty Financial, yet
to release key details about it's finances or exact purpose.
Its website, though prominently features photos of Trump and touts
a digital currency kind of like bitcoin, but the value
of that currency would be pegged to the US dollar.
Speaker 13 (11:30):
World Liberty Financial announced it will sell tokens to accredited investors.
Those don't be transferable or earn a yield, but they
will allow holders to vote on the company's future. Users
can transact directly with each other without the middleman of
a bank, and everything is going to occur on the blockchain.
And that's essentially a public digital letter.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I'm in. I'm just not sure what I'm in. It
is a little confusing, so maybe we could, I don't know,
do that thing from the Big Short and have Mogol
Robbie explain this Trump business to us in a bathtub.
Speaker 10 (12:05):
It's a scam.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh right, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 6 (12:17):
See it now.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
But still, I mean, that's just one person's opinion. Is
there anyone else who's an expert on scams, who's had
some thoughts a few years ago on crypto bitcoin?
Speaker 7 (12:29):
It just seems like a scam.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Quote, I am not a fan of bitcoin and other
cryptocurrencies which are not money and whose value is highly
volatile and based on thin air.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Okay, pretty persuasive, But I think I'm gonna need to
see him say that in a bathtub naked. There you go,
there you go. Now I know it's a scam and
I'm turned on. I'm sorry, guys, I really thought this
was a sure thing. But of course Don Trump doesn't
(13:02):
know anything about crypto Now, if he had some actual
financial experts who are running the company for him, that
would be a different story.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
One of the deal makers behind World Liberty Financial is
Chase Hero, who previously sold Colon cleansers online after serving
time in prison for dealing marijuana.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Wow, Trump's partner in this is a weird dealer turned
prisoner turned Colon Clean's Marketer.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Clearly he understands the concepts of diversifying your portfolio. I mean,
maybe I can trust this thing. But is there anything
Chase hero said that makes it clear he understands how
the crypto business works.
Speaker 11 (13:45):
You can literally sell in the can wrapped in piss
covered in human skin for a billion dollars if the
story's right, because people will buy it. And that is
what is going on in the crypto space. And like
I said by other video, I'm not going to question
the right wrong of all that. All I'm saying is,
as a human being, you have the ability to make
a ton of money right now.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
So the guy running Trump's crypto company says, crypto is basically,
and I quote, a can of shit wrapped in piss
that you can sell to idiots. I mean that is crazy.
I did not know you could wrap something in piss.
It's a liquid. This guy's a genius. I can't wait
(14:31):
to give him my money. I just wish there was
just one more guy who could lend his credibility to
this company.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
World Liberty Financial also has Chase Heroes longtime partner Zachary Folkman,
a former pickup artist who under the name Zach Bauer,
founded a company called Date Hotter Girls.
Speaker 14 (14:50):
How many guys came here to learn how to take
girls home and bang them?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Finally the answer, Finally, the answer to the question what
if Jesus had herpes? So to sum it up, I
could not be more excited to trust my kids insulin
(15:21):
money with these three guys, Donald Trump, a shit in
a can salesman, and timUL Russell brand. But the question
is is this investment right for you? Only you can
answer that. But I must say I found that new
ad very persuasive.
Speaker 9 (15:39):
Attention Donald Trump fans, introducing World Liberty Financial, the President's
latest venture.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
How does it work well?
Speaker 9 (15:46):
Using the blockchain we meant a crypto coin, or we
exchange other crypto coins, or maybe we platform the D
five blah blah blah. Look, we don't know what this
is yet, but you know the deal. Trump's name is
on it, so you buy it, okay. Crypto is a
complex intersection of finance and technology, and we don't know
shit about it either.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
But what we do know is you like Trump.
Speaker 9 (16:05):
Trump like money, you give Trump money, don't actly? You
need to do your due diligence here, Oh, let me,
read the perspectus and make sure this is a sound
financial decision. Thank you, pay us. Oh you want a chart, fine,
here's a chart.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
This is you giving money to Trump.
Speaker 9 (16:21):
You comprehending all this warm buffet. I'm sorry, but we
have less than fifty days to the election to cram
in all the cash grabs we can, so we don't
have time for a bunch of questions like are we
ensured by the FDIC Are.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You kidding me?
Speaker 9 (16:34):
The only fdicee here is you, the fucking dummies investing cash.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Give us your money.
Speaker 9 (16:39):
If you don't have money, then get it, take out
a loan, steal it from your daughter's wallet, rob a bank,
rob a blood bank, and sell the blood on the
black market.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
Don't get Trump involved unless it works.
Speaker 9 (16:49):
Then he wants a cut the hold on hold onut,
I have a financial disclosure we legally have to read.
This is a grift. You are the mark.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Ignore that or don't. You're gonna fall for it?
Speaker 8 (17:00):
World liberty, financial Trump, crypto, blockchain, blah blah blah.
Speaker 11 (17:05):
Money.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
Please explore more.
Speaker 12 (17:08):
Shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The
Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily
Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and
stream full episodes anytime on Paramount
Speaker 6 (17:20):
Plus Paramount Podcasts
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