June 30, 2025 • 32 mins
Celebrate Desi Lydic with a look back at some of her earliest, and best, moments at The Daily Show.
Hear Desi tell her origin story to the audience after the cut. Check out her first night as host. Listen as she hits the streets to hear how visitors feel about New York values in one of her first field pieces. Rethink the value of honesty as she meets a gubernatorial candidate that reveals too much truth. Wade into the conservative debate over the death penalty. And get caught up on all the drama surrounding New York mayor Eric Adams.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central, yew.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Does anyone have any questions? Yes? How did you get
started and make your way to the Daily Show?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Because that's like a dream of.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Wow. Well it all.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I was born in nineteen eighty one.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I'll start from the very beginning. I grew up.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well, actually, I'm sitting here looking at my uncle who's
right here, My uncle.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Jay Nsy it's his birthday to day too, thirty five
years young.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
He Actually, Uncle Jay was truly one of my hugest comedic.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Role models.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Uncle Ja would make me laugh growing up until I
completely pee my pants. I still do often, but that's
more because I had a baby, but loved I was
obsessed with SNL. I watched a lot of Carol Burnett
growing up. My dad used to show me a lot
of reruns of Carol and the Women on SNL and
(01:16):
Tina and Amy, And there was something in me that
really wanted to do comedy. But I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky,
so that's not a sensible thing to do when you
grow up there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But for some reason, I've.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Got really great parents who are very supportive and supported
this insane idea that at nineteen, I would move to
Los Angeles and take classes. So I threw myself into
improv scene study, and I started getting small roles one
at a time, one line and pilots that never went anywhere.
(01:48):
But when I reached my twenties, I was obsessed with
The Daily Show. I loved John Stewart. I watched religiously.
It was my dream to be on the show. I
auditioned for the show three times over the years, and
finally the third time I got the call come out
to New York.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And this was right after they hired Trevor.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And I had just gotten married, and I spent my
whole career trying to plan pick Okay, I can't go
on vacation because I might get that Burger King call back.
And I got to be there for the work. And
I had just gotten married and we wanted to start
a family, and I thought, you know what I could.
(02:32):
I'm going to live my life and whatever happens happens.
And when I got the call to come here, I
was four months pregnant living in Los Angeles. I thought,
oh boy, do I tell them?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Do I keep it to myself?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
And I would be starting the job six months pregnant.
So I pulled Jen Flans, who's sitting right over here,
our showrunner, executive producer all things. I pulled her aside
after the audition, and she had this look on her
face like.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Oh God, what are you going to ask me? Like?
Did you do a good job? What a needy actor?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And I said, I said, this is my dream job
and I will move here tomorrow, but you should know
I am pregnant, so i'd be starting the job pregnant.
She goes, great, we can talk about her. We won't
talk about it. Whatever you want, whatever you're comfortable with.
And seven and a half years later, I'm here and
(03:32):
my seven and a half year old is sitting upstairs,
probably not watching this right now.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He's eating snacks. Well, Daily Show.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I'm Danny Lightning, and I am so happy I get
to host the Daily Show this week. God, I am
so excited. I just peed myself a little. I'm just kidding.
It was a lot of pee. We got a great
show for you tonight. So let's get into the headline.
(04:07):
Let's kick things off with something I saw today and
I just I have to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
So last month, Bud light did a social media campaign
with transgender influencer Dylan mulvaney, and conservatives absolutely lost their
shit over it. They were filming themselves shooting cans, running
over cans, hitting cans with a baseball bat. It was
like a Saw movie but starring bud Light. But now
(04:33):
their meltdown has even its own.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Merch America presents real women of politics.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Realmen a politics, Real women don't have to fake.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It, Real women doing real things.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Real women work to walk.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Brought me some big companies can't tell the difference between
real and fake anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Really, even all the difference.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
That's why we're introducing the real Women of Politics kusy.
And if it covers up the label of a big
woke company, well that works.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Too few women a polity.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
What the fuck? I was seriously though, what the hell?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm sorry, but can you really imagine conservative men using
this thing? I mean maybe as a pocket putty, but
that's it. Well I'm out fishing, so this kivy fleshlight
has got to get the job done. I never thought
i'd missed the old beer commercials. I mean, sure, there
were a lot of boobs, but at least they weren't
(05:47):
like these boobs are biological boobs. This ad made no sense, Like,
what was going on with that woman shoving a giant
fish into a tiny box? Is that an thing real
women do? It wasn't even near the sea. It was
like in a closet.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
What is it fish even.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Doing in a closet. Even that actor had no idea
what was going on. She was like, please tell me,
this is for porn And that's the weird Sarah Huckabee
Sanders ad. And this should be obvious, but I am
so sick of this. Trans women are not real women?
Having a vagina? Does that make you a woman? Having
(06:31):
a crippling fear that you're using too many exclamation points
in an email?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
That is what makes you a woman.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
All right, Let's move on to the big story rocking
the media world today. You know that stupid look that's
always on Tucker Carlson's face, Well today he has a
good reason for it.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
This just in to CNN. Tucker Carlson is out at Fox.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
News the Right Network just and else the two have
parted ways.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Cnnci Leeter reporter oliver O Darci is here with more
on this. What are you learning? He was out on
Friday while we see him say goodbye.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
We're not going to see him say goodbye. This is
really stunning news coming from Fox. They say his last
show was April twenty. First, they put out a very
short statement. They say they thank him for his service,
and that's it. That's all we know right now.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Wow, I can't believe that a network that's so opposed
to gender affirming surgery just cut off their own dick. Now,
Apparently Tucker was forced out by Rupert Murdoch, which is
(07:50):
pretty ironic. Tucker spent so many years saying that Mexican
people were coming to take our jobs away. Turns out
he should have been worrying about Australians. And I don't
know exactly what led Rupert Murdock to fire his network's
biggest star, but reportedly he was concerned over Carlson's conspiracy
theories about January sixth. So let this be a lesson
(08:10):
to everybody. If you try to topple America's democracy, you
can stay on TV for two more.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Years and that's it.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
This But whatever the reason was, Tucker's firing is going
to leave a huge white power vacuum at Fox. And
I'm glad he's gone. But if I'm being honest, I'm
also a little nervous about what he's going to do next.
You know, it's like after Papa John got fired, you
just knew he was out there somewhere working on a pizza.
(08:40):
That gives you even worse diary. By the way, Tucker
Carlson isn't the only cable.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
News anchor to get the acts.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
CNN just fired Don Lemon after seventeen New Year's Eve blackouts.
Sorry years of service, So it's been a tough to
be a news anchor on cable. Sorry, sorry, what's up?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh? Oh I'm also being fired. Oh that was fast. Okay,
guess I'll pack up my things.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Stapler, scissors, photos, Oh, my giant fish box.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Is too small. Call me a girly girl. I just
got here. I'm finishing this out.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Ted Cruz recently made waves with the comment about New
York City values.
Speaker 8 (09:43):
The rest of the country knows exactly what New York
values are, and I got to say, they're not Iowa values,
and they're not New Hampshire values.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
As a recent transplant from Kentucky, I wondered what exactly
are New York City values.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Socially liberal or pro abortion or pro game marriage.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh god no. I headed to Times Square to see
how visitors cope in our perverted cesspool. How would you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Compare this city with whatever city you're from? Where are
you from?
Speaker 9 (10:10):
I'm from Hounsville, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay, it's been a good trial.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
We've enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
So has the gay in your face ruined anything? For you?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
The gay and the gay and you're fill the game?
Speaker 6 (10:20):
I'm insane much of that.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
I was shocked.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Clearly these values are ruining their vacations.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
We love coming, yeah, actually we love it here. We
go for the shows.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Is it hard to get tickets to really popular shows
like Hamilton with all the abortions going on here?
Speaker 10 (10:37):
Well, Hamilton, you can't get tickets too.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Right, because of all the abortions. So you guys are
from New York? What are New York values?
Speaker 5 (10:46):
We're not from New York.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Are you sure I'm hid with all the hood.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
No, we just like to look different.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
New York is full of sick and twisted surprises. We
met a lot of nice people.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
Just met a construction worker here that was really super
nice to us and really didn't even cuss at me.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I mean, at one time did he ask to fill
your texts. No, he didn't, And he didn't tell me
where to go or flip me on. Did he grab
your ass?
Speaker 11 (11:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Did he ask how much?
Speaker 12 (11:18):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Did he tell you to off?
Speaker 12 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But admit it. When you get home, after you wash away.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
The sin and rebaptize yourself, you'll really look forward to
a great home cooked meal at you know, what's that
cracker restaurant?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No, not that one, the other.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Place where crackers go to, Denny's.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Denny's. Finish the sentence. For me, new York is a
godless Why.
Speaker 9 (11:41):
Would you say New York is godless? I don't think
that that's accurate. New York is great.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I like me Yet, So you guys are actually enjoying
yourselves here?
Speaker 9 (11:48):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, really is.
Speaker 9 (11:51):
My grandfather came through ls Allen at nineteen eleven on
his way to Pennsylvania to a new life. It's a
place of opportunity for a lot of people, people including
my grandfather.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Oh right, A lot of our immigrant ancestors did come
through New York. But still, these guys are just tourists.
What do they know? What about people who moved here
from real America. So I've been living here for about
eight months and it's fantastic.
Speaker 11 (12:16):
I love it what my life has improved because I
have more opportunities to move forward in life with whatever
I want to do.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
There's so many people that are coming into so many
different cultures and races and nationalities, sexual orientations.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
What people do is what they do. What you do
is what you do.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yeah, but like back home, you're the only gay guys,
so you're like a gay celebrity.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Well, back home, I was Beyonce.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
Here, I'm barely LaTavia.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Who's LaTavia exactly?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
She was a member of the group that nobody knows.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Okay, so you don't don't you want to go back
and be Beyonce.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I want to be the Beyonce of New York.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
There are a lot of Beyonces here in New York,
including Beyonce. Okay, maybe Ted Cruz is wrong to attack
New York for its values. It is a melting pot
of ideas and cultures. That said, I live here and
there is still plenty to criticize. So Ted, the next
time you want to show on this city, ask a
New Yorker. There are so many things you could complain about,
(13:16):
like our arts. Try getting a free ticket or complain
about our infrastructure. How are you still digging? They've been
digging for two years. Our commutes are many great restaurants
(13:36):
I'm at right right now. Or take a shot at
our quality of life. It costs five thousand a month
to live here and it comes with.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
A roommate brought a toilet paper. We don't even have
a bathroom. Wait, where have you been sing?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But don't with our values because we accept all people, well,
well not all.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Is there anything you would like to say to Ted Cruz.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Said Cruise, Wow, you guys are New Yorkers. Arizona is
the most diehard read state in the Southwest, but a
new Democratic candidate is using a radical approach to take
back the governor's seat. Meet No a dire in many
ways a typical Democrat.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
The most important things are that we reform education, immigration, healthcare.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But what sets his campaign apart is his goal of
cleaning up the cesspool, a political scandal and controversy that's
taken over Arizona politics.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I'm a politician who's going to give people the whole truth.
I've been totally honest and transparent from day one.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Wow, I appreciate the honesty thing. And he means totally honest.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
When I launched my campaign, I revealed everything that I've done.
There's a statement on my website that reveals that I've
had a lot of casual sex and sex with married women.
Coming in, I've had a lot of sex with married women.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Sorry, tell me again, what office are you running for?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Governor of Arizona.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You know that we're recording this.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
I've had a lot of sex. I intend to keep
having sex.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
It's not that kind of show, so I don't want
to get too deep into it, but like specifically what
sex stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Group sex with lots of people and things say no
more text sex. And I've recorded video during sex. Sometimes
it's just an eight second video and other times it
can go on for quite some time.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Turns out this guy was totally for real, and the
press poured out love for his unconventional campaign. He is
tapping into something really important when it comes to campaigning
in an authentic way.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Everybody can appreciate somebody as an open book.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Of course, Dyer's open book has some pages stuck together,
but he's hoping to get through the steamy chapters pretty quickly.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I don't actually want to talk about my sex life
I've just shared it at the get go so that
we can not talk about it.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But there's a tab on your website about it, right.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
But if he's going to defeat incumbent Doug Doocey, Dyer's
going to need a few other tabs. Do you have
anything else going on in your life to distract people.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
From all the sex stuff?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Sure? What, I've got an example of a speech here
that I gave in a legislative district meeting. Great Doug
Doocy has made alliances with selfish business and political leaders
at rape Arizona's most vulnerable communities. When their policies rape
our public school students and teachers, when they rape our
LGBTQ community, and when they rape our poor Okay, they
call it jobska.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I'll take that. Okay. Do all your speeches have that
much rape in them?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
My intention was to really make people feel that these
policies are bad.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I'd scale back like one hundred percent on the rape.
This guy has to spend some time not campaigning with
his dick. What makes him electable?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, I guess when I speak Spanish, and I included
that as part of my campaign because it's a it's
legitimately who I am.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
May Gusta ques kb hand didn't follow that.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
You know, I guess I'm a hobby stage hypnotist.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You're a hypnotist.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, there's gonna be a Republican governor for a long time.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I don't think so. I'm telling you that I see
a lot of people who are excited about this campaign,
and we're going to do better than the odds predicted.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So I tagged along as Dier tried to show me
has fired up electorate.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
I'm no a diary. I'm running for governor of Arizona.
Part of my thing is, honestly, I found that a
lot of people don't think politicians can be trusted.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
He said, group sex.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I have had group sex. Could you vote for somebody
that's had group sex before? I don't know if I
want a governor who's having group sex?
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Why I disclose that.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But they weren't exactly on board.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Do you feel like you could trust me more because
I've been honest with that upfront?
Speaker 13 (17:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yes, but you're not going to vote for him?
Speaker 9 (17:47):
Probably not.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
No, it's pretty close to know at this point.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Clearly Dier couldn't get elected on his own, so I
brought my fancy New York camera crew out to the
desert to help him out with this first campaign commercial.
All he had to do was sterically or the sex
stuff and be normal. I think, just empty patriotism and
oh your wife here perfect.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
My name's Noah Diar and I'm running for governor of Arizona.
I've had lots of sex, including casual sex and group
sex that I've even recorded.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Cut cut, yeah, okay, that can you do that again?
But without mentioning sex seven times action.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
My name's Noah Dier and I'm running for governor of Arizona.
I want you to know that I'm going to be
an honest and transparent politician.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Once Dyer finally dropped all the sex stuff, he was
actually pretty electable. So forget transparency. We all want to
have group sex. We just don't want our governors having
group sex or something. I don't know. I need a drink.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I actually don't drink what I have actually never had
a drink.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Wait, you have sex sober? Yes, that is the most
thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Good luck, Arizona. You're gonna need it. The death penalty
it's an institution as American as apple pie. That's laced
with pentobarbital. And there are those who understand the need
for death like capital punishment, advocate Robert Blecker.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
In three words, we need the death penalty because they
deserve it. In one word, we need the death penalty
because of justice.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
In seven words, the only just.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Response, and proportional.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Punishment eleven words for.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
People who kill viciously or callously, death is deserved.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Ah oh, so close. Yet there are actually those who
don't think death is the solution.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
The Nebraska legislature has just voted to ban capital punishment.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Forces on both sides are now mounting legal challenges backing
the ban. You guessed it, spineless, soft on crime. Wait, guys,
a republican.
Speaker 13 (20:01):
Abolishing the death penalty was something we could do, not
in spite of the fact we were conservative, but because
we were conservative.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
You used conservative principles to convince conservatives to violate their beliefs.
That well, okay, so that is like the slickest, most
underhanded Republican thing I have ever heard. Upside or down there.
Speaker 13 (20:24):
Now listen, though it wasn't, It wasn't a violation of beliefs.
The death penalty is inefficient. The death penalty represents broken government.
The death penalty.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Does not jive with our pro life values.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Sadly, and his blind luss to not kill, Koash clings
to his old conservative binkie fiscal responsibility.
Speaker 13 (20:45):
It costs a state more money to go through an
execution than to keep that inmate in jail for the
rest of their life.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, but some things you can't put a price on.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
This is not important ultimately when it comes to the
death penalty. I mean, look at who's on Nebraska's death row.
One anti Semitic racist cult leader forced one of his
members to have sex with a goat, then anally them,
skin them alive.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
That's we don't need to go down that, right.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
And they tied them up in the basement. They took
cell phone.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Photos in Okay, I know where this is going. It's good.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Okay. That is way too many words in a world
filled with murderous criminal goats. How would co Ash address
another conservative article of faith, getting tough on crime.
Speaker 13 (21:33):
We know that crime and other states where they've a
bossed death penalty, crime rate doesn't change, doesn't attract more crime.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
But those facts couldn't be more wrong. Criminals always consider
the consequences like this. I'm super high.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
On crack cocaine.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Right now, all I can think about is getting more
money so I can get more crack cocaine. So right now,
my best option is this twenty four hours, and I
don't care if I'm to kill a mother, but first
I'm going to carefully consider Nebraska state law specific intent
to kill is not required for fell any murder, but
only the intent to do a felonious act.
Speaker 14 (22:13):
However, since there's no death penalty thanks to.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You, I'm going in.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
See deterrence would have totally worked.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Well, that's what the deterrence people say about the death
penalty to support it. That's not what I say.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So if we're not talking about a deterrent, what the
are we talking about.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
We're talking about justice. We're talking about retribution.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Getting even. But wouldn't you know, co Ash trots out
the most all powerful conservative commandment. Government can't be trusted.
Speaker 13 (22:51):
We've had our problems with our correction system here, and
this is a decision that you have to get right.
You don't want to put an innocent person to death.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
But Blecker knows government is perfectly capable, well almost perfectly.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
My best guess is that we have executed an innocent person,
and probably more than one. That's not a sufficient reason
to abolish the death penalty.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
You do you best, and you constantly try to do better.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And that's what you would say to the families of
one of the people that was accidentally executed.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
I say to them, we feel absolutely miserable if we
are appalled at what we did, but we did our best.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I'm knew at this, but if you want, you can
restate your answer. That's right when it comes to executing people,
just like JV field hockey, always do your best. As
I left Nebraska, I realized that maybe the death penalty
isn't cost effective and it doesn't deter crime, and sometimes
we do kill innocent people, but there's a greater tragedy.
(23:56):
Eleven words, another American institution may be gone forever thanks
to Republicans. Let's get right into today's big story. New
York City's Mayor Eric Adams. He's known for a lot
of things, from.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Clubbing downtown, to clubbing in midtown to clubbing during work hours.
He's having the best time and the party is never
gonna end.
Speaker 15 (24:27):
Breaking overnight, indicted New York Mayor Eric Adams facing criminal charges, an.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Historic case for the first time is sitting mayor is
facing criminal charges indicted by the US Southern District here
in New York.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Can someone check.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
If there's bottle service at Rikers? So yes, this is
a historic and sad day for New York City, which
is why the subway masturbators were flying their sweatpants at
half mass this morning. Now, to be fair, Adams is
of course innocent until proven guilty, although it would be
(25:06):
a lot easier to believe he wasn't doing crimes if
he didn't dress like a gangster from guys Enjol. But
the question is what exactly is Eric Adams accused of?
Let's find out in our new segment Suspects in the City.
(25:29):
I couldn't help but wonder how could the mayor be
in trouble with the law. We know how much he
follows the law because he tells us all the time.
Speaker 10 (25:39):
I just strongly believe you have to follow the law.
I cannot tell you how much I start today with
telling my team we gotta follow the law.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
See, as we know, the most trustworthy people are the
ones who are constantly telling you how trustworthy they are. Yeah,
it's like how most faithful spouses start every morning reminding
themselves not to cheat. If you got one of those ladies,
hang on, hang on, tie, don't let go. So what's
(26:13):
the mayor in trouble for. Well, according to him, it's
for simply caring too much.
Speaker 10 (26:18):
I always knew that if I stood my ground for
all of you, that I would be a.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Target and a target.
Speaker 12 (26:25):
I became, Oh my god, you did that for us, Oh,
oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
And I knew it.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I knew that when you said the city should put
garbage in garbage cans, they would come after you. I
knew it, and they did.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
They did.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
I mean, unless there was some other reason why they
indicted you. The indictment reads like Lifestyle of the rich
and Famous, describing a politician who wanted to travel.
Speaker 15 (27:03):
Beyond his means and did so with the help of
Turkish nationals.
Speaker 16 (27:08):
On numerous occasions, the mayor would fly on Turkish Airlines,
which is primarily owned by the Turkish government. In October
twenty sixteen, they purchased economy tickets valued at just over
twenty two hundred dollars and received free upgrades to business
class worth about fifteen thousand dollars. In twenty seventeen, Adams,
a family member, and a staff member accepted free business
(27:31):
class tickets worth more than thirty five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Let me get this straight.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I've heard of politicians getting paid off in bags of
cash and fancy cars and gold bars, but this is
the first time I've heard of selling out the city
to get medallion status on Turkish airlines. I mean, come on, buddy,
if you want to get bumped up to first class,
just say you found a pub in your pretzels. It
worked every every time. And if you're wondering, isn't Turkish
(28:04):
air an inconvenient airline to have your bribes paid in?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You're right.
Speaker 17 (28:09):
According to the indictment, Adams insisted on flying Turkish air
through Istanbul, even if it was out of the way.
When his girlfriend asked if he wanted to vacation in Chile,
he repeatedly asked her whether Turkish airlines flew there from
New York City.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Our mayor is bad at crime and geography.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
This isn't just embarrassing as a mayor, this is embarrassing
as a boyfriend. Hey, baby, Hawaii sounds fun, but what
about a three hour layover in Istanbul and then Estonia.
It is the Hawaii of Eastern Europe. So Turkish Airlines
is the quid. Wait till you hear the pro quo.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
The indictment detailing and alleged quid pro quote writing that
Adams intervened with the FDNY to permit the Turkish Consulate
to occupy a skyscraper that had not passed a fire
safety inspection.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
This is the worst bribery deal ever. Listen, if you
slip me a couple hundred grand, I'll make double sure
there's no fire extinguishers in your building. You can thank
me later. This is so upsetting. It's a sad day
in New York City. When foreign nations are bribing the
mayor to rush permit.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
That is the mob's job.
Speaker 15 (29:31):
Okay, those should be American bribe American. Now, a lot
of politicians are saying Adams should resign or at least
hide his face in shame.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
But what did real New Yorker say?
Speaker 9 (29:48):
I think you should resign?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I think so he's not good. He deserved to get out.
There's always been been a mayor, There's going to be
another one.
Speaker 11 (29:58):
What's the big deal?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
New Yorkers feel the same way about their mayor as
most people do about the Fast and Furious movies. They're
all bad and there is definitely going to be another one.
Maybe one reason New Yorkers aren't too worried about their
mayor being indicted is that we understand the city government
is so much more than just one person. The Adams
administration is full of civil servants doing their job honorably,
(30:32):
like the police commissioner.
Speaker 16 (30:34):
In Battled NYPD Commissioner Edward Kabban was forced to resign
amid a federal investigation into influence peddling involving his twin brother.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Okay, so the police commissioner also had a scandal, but
you can always get another police commissioner.
Speaker 8 (30:50):
Just days after being appointed interim NYPD Commissioner Tom Dolland's
homes had been raided by the FUDS.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Please, aren't everything. It's the school system that matters.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
School's chancellor David Banks becomes the lad's appointee to announce
his departure as he faces scrutiny after FBI agencies his
cell phones.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Not the chancellor who will make sure the schools are chancelled.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Jesus, is there anyone in this administration who isn't under investigation.
Speaker 8 (31:25):
Banks is among at least fifteen other members of the
administration that are currently under investigation. Banks his two brothers,
Phil and Terrence, as well as his fiancee, Deputy Mayor
Sheena Wright.
Speaker 11 (31:37):
Agents searched the home of Adam's chief fundraiser, Breonna Suggs.
New York City Sheriff Anthony Miranda and his office are
being investigated over money confiscated from illegal pot shops. Investigators
searched the homes of Winnie Greco, the director of Asian Affairs.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
A senior ad two Mayor Adams Tim Pearson. Were there
any kind of kickbacks going on.
Speaker 16 (31:56):
Business dealings between Frank Corone, the.
Speaker 9 (31:59):
One time of staff TA Mayor Adams, and a mon
senior named Jamie Jigantiella.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Oh my god, Fox News was right. Crime really is
out of control in New York. But this is actually
kind of impressive. Adams has assembled multiple branches of an
administration all committed to a shared vision of breaking the law.
I can't even get my coworkers to go apple picking
with me.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on
Paramount Plus.
Speaker 10 (32:43):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast now
You're listening to Comedy Central, yew.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Does anyone have any questions? Yes? How did you get
started and make your way to the Daily Show?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Because that's like a dream of.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Wow. Well it all.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I was born in nineteen eighty one.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I'll start from the very beginning. I grew up.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well, actually, I'm sitting here looking at my uncle who's
right here, My uncle.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Jay Nsy it's his birthday to day too, thirty five
years young.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
He Actually, Uncle Jay was truly one of my hugest comedic.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Role models.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Uncle Ja would make me laugh growing up until I
completely pee my pants. I still do often, but that's
more because I had a baby, but loved I was
obsessed with SNL. I watched a lot of Carol Burnett
growing up. My dad used to show me a lot
of reruns of Carol and the Women on SNL and
(01:16):
Tina and Amy, And there was something in me that
really wanted to do comedy. But I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky,
so that's not a sensible thing to do when you
grow up there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But for some reason, I've.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Got really great parents who are very supportive and supported
this insane idea that at nineteen, I would move to
Los Angeles and take classes. So I threw myself into
improv scene study, and I started getting small roles one
at a time, one line and pilots that never went anywhere.
(01:48):
But when I reached my twenties, I was obsessed with
The Daily Show. I loved John Stewart. I watched religiously.
It was my dream to be on the show. I
auditioned for the show three times over the years, and
finally the third time I got the call come out
to New York.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And this was right after they hired Trevor.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And I had just gotten married, and I spent my
whole career trying to plan pick Okay, I can't go
on vacation because I might get that Burger King call back.
And I got to be there for the work. And
I had just gotten married and we wanted to start
a family, and I thought, you know what I could.
(02:32):
I'm going to live my life and whatever happens happens.
And when I got the call to come here, I
was four months pregnant living in Los Angeles. I thought,
oh boy, do I tell them?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Do I keep it to myself?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
And I would be starting the job six months pregnant.
So I pulled Jen Flans, who's sitting right over here,
our showrunner, executive producer all things. I pulled her aside
after the audition, and she had this look on her
face like.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Oh God, what are you going to ask me? Like?
Did you do a good job? What a needy actor?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And I said, I said, this is my dream job
and I will move here tomorrow, but you should know
I am pregnant, so i'd be starting the job pregnant.
She goes, great, we can talk about her. We won't
talk about it. Whatever you want, whatever you're comfortable with.
And seven and a half years later, I'm here and
(03:32):
my seven and a half year old is sitting upstairs,
probably not watching this right now.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He's eating snacks. Well, Daily Show.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I'm Danny Lightning, and I am so happy I get
to host the Daily Show this week. God, I am
so excited. I just peed myself a little. I'm just kidding.
It was a lot of pee. We got a great
show for you tonight. So let's get into the headline.
(04:07):
Let's kick things off with something I saw today and
I just I have to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
So last month, Bud light did a social media campaign
with transgender influencer Dylan mulvaney, and conservatives absolutely lost their
shit over it. They were filming themselves shooting cans, running
over cans, hitting cans with a baseball bat. It was
like a Saw movie but starring bud Light. But now
(04:33):
their meltdown has even its own.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Merch America presents real women of politics.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Realmen a politics, Real women don't have to fake.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It, Real women doing real things.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Real women work to walk.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Brought me some big companies can't tell the difference between
real and fake anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Really, even all the difference.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
That's why we're introducing the real Women of Politics kusy.
And if it covers up the label of a big
woke company, well that works.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Too few women a polity.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
What the fuck? I was seriously though, what the hell?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm sorry, but can you really imagine conservative men using
this thing? I mean maybe as a pocket putty, but
that's it. Well I'm out fishing, so this kivy fleshlight
has got to get the job done. I never thought
i'd missed the old beer commercials. I mean, sure, there
were a lot of boobs, but at least they weren't
(05:47):
like these boobs are biological boobs. This ad made no sense, Like,
what was going on with that woman shoving a giant
fish into a tiny box? Is that an thing real
women do? It wasn't even near the sea. It was
like in a closet.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
What is it fish even.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Doing in a closet. Even that actor had no idea
what was going on. She was like, please tell me,
this is for porn And that's the weird Sarah Huckabee
Sanders ad. And this should be obvious, but I am
so sick of this. Trans women are not real women?
Having a vagina? Does that make you a woman? Having
(06:31):
a crippling fear that you're using too many exclamation points
in an email?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
That is what makes you a woman.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
All right, Let's move on to the big story rocking
the media world today. You know that stupid look that's
always on Tucker Carlson's face, Well today he has a
good reason for it.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
This just in to CNN. Tucker Carlson is out at Fox.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
News the Right Network just and else the two have
parted ways.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Cnnci Leeter reporter oliver O Darci is here with more
on this. What are you learning? He was out on
Friday while we see him say goodbye.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
We're not going to see him say goodbye. This is
really stunning news coming from Fox. They say his last
show was April twenty. First, they put out a very
short statement. They say they thank him for his service,
and that's it. That's all we know right now.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Wow, I can't believe that a network that's so opposed
to gender affirming surgery just cut off their own dick. Now,
Apparently Tucker was forced out by Rupert Murdoch, which is
(07:50):
pretty ironic. Tucker spent so many years saying that Mexican
people were coming to take our jobs away. Turns out
he should have been worrying about Australians. And I don't
know exactly what led Rupert Murdock to fire his network's
biggest star, but reportedly he was concerned over Carlson's conspiracy
theories about January sixth. So let this be a lesson
(08:10):
to everybody. If you try to topple America's democracy, you
can stay on TV for two more.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Years and that's it.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
This But whatever the reason was, Tucker's firing is going
to leave a huge white power vacuum at Fox. And
I'm glad he's gone. But if I'm being honest, I'm
also a little nervous about what he's going to do next.
You know, it's like after Papa John got fired, you
just knew he was out there somewhere working on a pizza.
(08:40):
That gives you even worse diary. By the way, Tucker
Carlson isn't the only cable.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
News anchor to get the acts.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
CNN just fired Don Lemon after seventeen New Year's Eve blackouts.
Sorry years of service, So it's been a tough to
be a news anchor on cable. Sorry, sorry, what's up?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh? Oh I'm also being fired. Oh that was fast. Okay,
guess I'll pack up my things.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Stapler, scissors, photos, Oh, my giant fish box.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Is too small. Call me a girly girl. I just
got here. I'm finishing this out.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Ted Cruz recently made waves with the comment about New
York City values.
Speaker 8 (09:43):
The rest of the country knows exactly what New York
values are, and I got to say, they're not Iowa values,
and they're not New Hampshire values.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
As a recent transplant from Kentucky, I wondered what exactly
are New York City values.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Socially liberal or pro abortion or pro game marriage.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh god no. I headed to Times Square to see
how visitors cope in our perverted cesspool. How would you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Compare this city with whatever city you're from? Where are
you from?
Speaker 9 (10:10):
I'm from Hounsville, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay, it's been a good trial.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
We've enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
So has the gay in your face ruined anything? For you?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
The gay and the gay and you're fill the game?
Speaker 6 (10:20):
I'm insane much of that.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
I was shocked.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Clearly these values are ruining their vacations.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
We love coming, yeah, actually we love it here. We
go for the shows.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Is it hard to get tickets to really popular shows
like Hamilton with all the abortions going on here?
Speaker 10 (10:37):
Well, Hamilton, you can't get tickets too.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Right, because of all the abortions. So you guys are
from New York? What are New York values?
Speaker 5 (10:46):
We're not from New York.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Are you sure I'm hid with all the hood.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
No, we just like to look different.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
New York is full of sick and twisted surprises. We
met a lot of nice people.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
Just met a construction worker here that was really super
nice to us and really didn't even cuss at me.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I mean, at one time did he ask to fill
your texts. No, he didn't, And he didn't tell me
where to go or flip me on. Did he grab
your ass?
Speaker 11 (11:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Did he ask how much?
Speaker 12 (11:18):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Did he tell you to off?
Speaker 12 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But admit it. When you get home, after you wash away.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
The sin and rebaptize yourself, you'll really look forward to
a great home cooked meal at you know, what's that
cracker restaurant?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No, not that one, the other.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Place where crackers go to, Denny's.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Denny's. Finish the sentence. For me, new York is a
godless Why.
Speaker 9 (11:41):
Would you say New York is godless? I don't think
that that's accurate. New York is great.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I like me Yet, So you guys are actually enjoying
yourselves here?
Speaker 9 (11:48):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, really is.
Speaker 9 (11:51):
My grandfather came through ls Allen at nineteen eleven on
his way to Pennsylvania to a new life. It's a
place of opportunity for a lot of people, people including
my grandfather.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Oh right, A lot of our immigrant ancestors did come
through New York. But still, these guys are just tourists.
What do they know? What about people who moved here
from real America. So I've been living here for about
eight months and it's fantastic.
Speaker 11 (12:16):
I love it what my life has improved because I
have more opportunities to move forward in life with whatever
I want to do.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
There's so many people that are coming into so many
different cultures and races and nationalities, sexual orientations.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
What people do is what they do. What you do
is what you do.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yeah, but like back home, you're the only gay guys,
so you're like a gay celebrity.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Well, back home, I was Beyonce.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
Here, I'm barely LaTavia.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Who's LaTavia exactly?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
She was a member of the group that nobody knows.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Okay, so you don't don't you want to go back
and be Beyonce.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I want to be the Beyonce of New York.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
There are a lot of Beyonces here in New York,
including Beyonce. Okay, maybe Ted Cruz is wrong to attack
New York for its values. It is a melting pot
of ideas and cultures. That said, I live here and
there is still plenty to criticize. So Ted, the next
time you want to show on this city, ask a
New Yorker. There are so many things you could complain about,
(13:16):
like our arts. Try getting a free ticket or complain
about our infrastructure. How are you still digging? They've been
digging for two years. Our commutes are many great restaurants
(13:36):
I'm at right right now. Or take a shot at
our quality of life. It costs five thousand a month
to live here and it comes with.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
A roommate brought a toilet paper. We don't even have
a bathroom. Wait, where have you been sing?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But don't with our values because we accept all people, well,
well not all.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Is there anything you would like to say to Ted Cruz.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Said Cruise, Wow, you guys are New Yorkers. Arizona is
the most diehard read state in the Southwest, but a
new Democratic candidate is using a radical approach to take
back the governor's seat. Meet No a dire in many
ways a typical Democrat.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
The most important things are that we reform education, immigration, healthcare.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
But what sets his campaign apart is his goal of
cleaning up the cesspool, a political scandal and controversy that's
taken over Arizona politics.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I'm a politician who's going to give people the whole truth.
I've been totally honest and transparent from day one.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Wow, I appreciate the honesty thing. And he means totally honest.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
When I launched my campaign, I revealed everything that I've done.
There's a statement on my website that reveals that I've
had a lot of casual sex and sex with married women.
Coming in, I've had a lot of sex with married women.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Sorry, tell me again, what office are you running for?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Governor of Arizona.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You know that we're recording this.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
I've had a lot of sex. I intend to keep
having sex.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
It's not that kind of show, so I don't want
to get too deep into it, but like specifically what
sex stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Group sex with lots of people and things say no
more text sex. And I've recorded video during sex. Sometimes
it's just an eight second video and other times it
can go on for quite some time.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Turns out this guy was totally for real, and the
press poured out love for his unconventional campaign. He is
tapping into something really important when it comes to campaigning
in an authentic way.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Everybody can appreciate somebody as an open book.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Of course, Dyer's open book has some pages stuck together,
but he's hoping to get through the steamy chapters pretty quickly.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I don't actually want to talk about my sex life
I've just shared it at the get go so that
we can not talk about it.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But there's a tab on your website about it, right.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
But if he's going to defeat incumbent Doug Doocey, Dyer's
going to need a few other tabs. Do you have
anything else going on in your life to distract people.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
From all the sex stuff?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Sure? What, I've got an example of a speech here
that I gave in a legislative district meeting. Great Doug
Doocy has made alliances with selfish business and political leaders
at rape Arizona's most vulnerable communities. When their policies rape
our public school students and teachers, when they rape our
LGBTQ community, and when they rape our poor Okay, they
call it jobska.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I'll take that. Okay. Do all your speeches have that
much rape in them?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
My intention was to really make people feel that these
policies are bad.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I'd scale back like one hundred percent on the rape.
This guy has to spend some time not campaigning with
his dick. What makes him electable?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, I guess when I speak Spanish, and I included
that as part of my campaign because it's a it's
legitimately who I am.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
May Gusta ques kb hand didn't follow that.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
You know, I guess I'm a hobby stage hypnotist.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You're a hypnotist.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, there's gonna be a Republican governor for a long time.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I don't think so. I'm telling you that I see
a lot of people who are excited about this campaign,
and we're going to do better than the odds predicted.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So I tagged along as Dier tried to show me
has fired up electorate.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
I'm no a diary. I'm running for governor of Arizona.
Part of my thing is, honestly, I found that a
lot of people don't think politicians can be trusted.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
He said, group sex.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I have had group sex. Could you vote for somebody
that's had group sex before? I don't know if I
want a governor who's having group sex?
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Why I disclose that.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But they weren't exactly on board.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Do you feel like you could trust me more because
I've been honest with that upfront?
Speaker 13 (17:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yes, but you're not going to vote for him?
Speaker 9 (17:47):
Probably not.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
No, it's pretty close to know at this point.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Clearly Dier couldn't get elected on his own, so I
brought my fancy New York camera crew out to the
desert to help him out with this first campaign commercial.
All he had to do was sterically or the sex
stuff and be normal. I think, just empty patriotism and
oh your wife here perfect.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
My name's Noah Diar and I'm running for governor of Arizona.
I've had lots of sex, including casual sex and group
sex that I've even recorded.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Cut cut, yeah, okay, that can you do that again?
But without mentioning sex seven times action.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
My name's Noah Dier and I'm running for governor of Arizona.
I want you to know that I'm going to be
an honest and transparent politician.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Once Dyer finally dropped all the sex stuff, he was
actually pretty electable. So forget transparency. We all want to
have group sex. We just don't want our governors having
group sex or something. I don't know. I need a drink.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I actually don't drink what I have actually never had
a drink.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Wait, you have sex sober? Yes, that is the most
thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Good luck, Arizona. You're gonna need it. The death penalty
it's an institution as American as apple pie. That's laced
with pentobarbital. And there are those who understand the need
for death like capital punishment, advocate Robert Blecker.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
In three words, we need the death penalty because they
deserve it. In one word, we need the death penalty
because of justice.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
In seven words, the only just.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Response, and proportional.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Punishment eleven words for.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
People who kill viciously or callously, death is deserved.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Ah oh, so close. Yet there are actually those who
don't think death is the solution.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
The Nebraska legislature has just voted to ban capital punishment.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Forces on both sides are now mounting legal challenges backing
the ban. You guessed it, spineless, soft on crime. Wait, guys,
a republican.
Speaker 13 (20:01):
Abolishing the death penalty was something we could do, not
in spite of the fact we were conservative, but because
we were conservative.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
You used conservative principles to convince conservatives to violate their beliefs.
That well, okay, so that is like the slickest, most
underhanded Republican thing I have ever heard. Upside or down there.
Speaker 13 (20:24):
Now listen, though it wasn't, It wasn't a violation of beliefs.
The death penalty is inefficient. The death penalty represents broken government.
The death penalty.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Does not jive with our pro life values.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Sadly, and his blind luss to not kill, Koash clings
to his old conservative binkie fiscal responsibility.
Speaker 13 (20:45):
It costs a state more money to go through an
execution than to keep that inmate in jail for the
rest of their life.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, but some things you can't put a price on.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
This is not important ultimately when it comes to the
death penalty. I mean, look at who's on Nebraska's death row.
One anti Semitic racist cult leader forced one of his
members to have sex with a goat, then anally them,
skin them alive.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
That's we don't need to go down that, right.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
And they tied them up in the basement. They took
cell phone.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Photos in Okay, I know where this is going. It's good.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Okay. That is way too many words in a world
filled with murderous criminal goats. How would co Ash address
another conservative article of faith, getting tough on crime.
Speaker 13 (21:33):
We know that crime and other states where they've a
bossed death penalty, crime rate doesn't change, doesn't attract more crime.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
But those facts couldn't be more wrong. Criminals always consider
the consequences like this. I'm super high.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
On crack cocaine.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Right now, all I can think about is getting more
money so I can get more crack cocaine. So right now,
my best option is this twenty four hours, and I
don't care if I'm to kill a mother, but first
I'm going to carefully consider Nebraska state law specific intent
to kill is not required for fell any murder, but
only the intent to do a felonious act.
Speaker 14 (22:13):
However, since there's no death penalty thanks to.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You, I'm going in.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
See deterrence would have totally worked.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Well, that's what the deterrence people say about the death
penalty to support it. That's not what I say.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So if we're not talking about a deterrent, what the
are we talking about.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
We're talking about justice. We're talking about retribution.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Getting even. But wouldn't you know, co Ash trots out
the most all powerful conservative commandment. Government can't be trusted.
Speaker 13 (22:51):
We've had our problems with our correction system here, and
this is a decision that you have to get right.
You don't want to put an innocent person to death.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
But Blecker knows government is perfectly capable, well almost perfectly.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
My best guess is that we have executed an innocent person,
and probably more than one. That's not a sufficient reason
to abolish the death penalty.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
You do you best, and you constantly try to do better.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And that's what you would say to the families of
one of the people that was accidentally executed.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
I say to them, we feel absolutely miserable if we
are appalled at what we did, but we did our best.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I'm knew at this, but if you want, you can
restate your answer. That's right when it comes to executing people,
just like JV field hockey, always do your best. As
I left Nebraska, I realized that maybe the death penalty
isn't cost effective and it doesn't deter crime, and sometimes
we do kill innocent people, but there's a greater tragedy.
(23:56):
Eleven words, another American institution may be gone forever thanks
to Republicans. Let's get right into today's big story. New
York City's Mayor Eric Adams. He's known for a lot
of things, from.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Clubbing downtown, to clubbing in midtown to clubbing during work hours.
He's having the best time and the party is never
gonna end.
Speaker 15 (24:27):
Breaking overnight, indicted New York Mayor Eric Adams facing criminal charges, an.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Historic case for the first time is sitting mayor is
facing criminal charges indicted by the US Southern District here
in New York.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Can someone check.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
If there's bottle service at Rikers? So yes, this is
a historic and sad day for New York City, which
is why the subway masturbators were flying their sweatpants at
half mass this morning. Now, to be fair, Adams is
of course innocent until proven guilty, although it would be
(25:06):
a lot easier to believe he wasn't doing crimes if
he didn't dress like a gangster from guys Enjol. But
the question is what exactly is Eric Adams accused of?
Let's find out in our new segment Suspects in the City.
(25:29):
I couldn't help but wonder how could the mayor be
in trouble with the law. We know how much he
follows the law because he tells us all the time.
Speaker 10 (25:39):
I just strongly believe you have to follow the law.
I cannot tell you how much I start today with
telling my team we gotta follow the law.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
See, as we know, the most trustworthy people are the
ones who are constantly telling you how trustworthy they are. Yeah,
it's like how most faithful spouses start every morning reminding
themselves not to cheat. If you got one of those ladies,
hang on, hang on, tie, don't let go. So what's
(26:13):
the mayor in trouble for. Well, according to him, it's
for simply caring too much.
Speaker 10 (26:18):
I always knew that if I stood my ground for
all of you, that I would be a.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Target and a target.
Speaker 12 (26:25):
I became, Oh my god, you did that for us, Oh,
oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
And I knew it.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I knew that when you said the city should put
garbage in garbage cans, they would come after you. I
knew it, and they did.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
They did.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
I mean, unless there was some other reason why they
indicted you. The indictment reads like Lifestyle of the rich
and Famous, describing a politician who wanted to travel.
Speaker 15 (27:03):
Beyond his means and did so with the help of
Turkish nationals.
Speaker 16 (27:08):
On numerous occasions, the mayor would fly on Turkish Airlines,
which is primarily owned by the Turkish government. In October
twenty sixteen, they purchased economy tickets valued at just over
twenty two hundred dollars and received free upgrades to business
class worth about fifteen thousand dollars. In twenty seventeen, Adams,
a family member, and a staff member accepted free business
(27:31):
class tickets worth more than thirty five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Let me get this straight.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I've heard of politicians getting paid off in bags of
cash and fancy cars and gold bars, but this is
the first time I've heard of selling out the city
to get medallion status on Turkish airlines. I mean, come on, buddy,
if you want to get bumped up to first class,
just say you found a pub in your pretzels. It
worked every every time. And if you're wondering, isn't Turkish
(28:04):
air an inconvenient airline to have your bribes paid in?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You're right.
Speaker 17 (28:09):
According to the indictment, Adams insisted on flying Turkish air
through Istanbul, even if it was out of the way.
When his girlfriend asked if he wanted to vacation in Chile,
he repeatedly asked her whether Turkish airlines flew there from
New York City.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Our mayor is bad at crime and geography.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
This isn't just embarrassing as a mayor, this is embarrassing
as a boyfriend. Hey, baby, Hawaii sounds fun, but what
about a three hour layover in Istanbul and then Estonia.
It is the Hawaii of Eastern Europe. So Turkish Airlines
is the quid. Wait till you hear the pro quo.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
The indictment detailing and alleged quid pro quote writing that
Adams intervened with the FDNY to permit the Turkish Consulate
to occupy a skyscraper that had not passed a fire
safety inspection.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
This is the worst bribery deal ever. Listen, if you
slip me a couple hundred grand, I'll make double sure
there's no fire extinguishers in your building. You can thank
me later. This is so upsetting. It's a sad day
in New York City. When foreign nations are bribing the
mayor to rush permit.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
That is the mob's job.
Speaker 15 (29:31):
Okay, those should be American bribe American. Now, a lot
of politicians are saying Adams should resign or at least
hide his face in shame.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
But what did real New Yorker say?
Speaker 9 (29:48):
I think you should resign?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I think so he's not good. He deserved to get out.
There's always been been a mayor, There's going to be
another one.
Speaker 11 (29:58):
What's the big deal?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
New Yorkers feel the same way about their mayor as
most people do about the Fast and Furious movies. They're
all bad and there is definitely going to be another one.
Maybe one reason New Yorkers aren't too worried about their
mayor being indicted is that we understand the city government
is so much more than just one person. The Adams
administration is full of civil servants doing their job honorably,
(30:32):
like the police commissioner.
Speaker 16 (30:34):
In Battled NYPD Commissioner Edward Kabban was forced to resign
amid a federal investigation into influence peddling involving his twin brother.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Okay, so the police commissioner also had a scandal, but
you can always get another police commissioner.
Speaker 8 (30:50):
Just days after being appointed interim NYPD Commissioner Tom Dolland's
homes had been raided by the FUDS.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Please, aren't everything. It's the school system that matters.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
School's chancellor David Banks becomes the lad's appointee to announce
his departure as he faces scrutiny after FBI agencies his
cell phones.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Not the chancellor who will make sure the schools are chancelled.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Jesus, is there anyone in this administration who isn't under investigation.
Speaker 8 (31:25):
Banks is among at least fifteen other members of the
administration that are currently under investigation. Banks his two brothers,
Phil and Terrence, as well as his fiancee, Deputy Mayor
Sheena Wright.
Speaker 11 (31:37):
Agents searched the home of Adam's chief fundraiser, Breonna Suggs.
New York City Sheriff Anthony Miranda and his office are
being investigated over money confiscated from illegal pot shops. Investigators
searched the homes of Winnie Greco, the director of Asian Affairs.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
A senior ad two Mayor Adams Tim Pearson. Were there
any kind of kickbacks going on.
Speaker 16 (31:56):
Business dealings between Frank Corone, the.
Speaker 9 (31:59):
One time of staff TA Mayor Adams, and a mon
senior named Jamie Jigantiella.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Oh my god, Fox News was right. Crime really is
out of control in New York. But this is actually
kind of impressive. Adams has assembled multiple branches of an
administration all committed to a shared vision of breaking the law.
I can't even get my coworkers to go apple picking
with me.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on
Paramount Plus.
Speaker 10 (32:43):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast now
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