September 25, 2024 • 33 mins
Desi Lydic rounds up male politicians' insulting appeals to female voters and then addresses North Carolina gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson's salacious porn-forum comments about his sister-in-law. Meanwhile, people think vice presidential candidate Tim Walz is nice. But is he... too nice? Later, Aubrey Plaza talks about starring in Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis,” and who served as her inspiration when playing a corrupt journalist.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy centralow.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's America's only sorts for news.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
This is the Daily Joe with your host Daisy light.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Daily Joe.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
I'm Daddie Lighted. We've got so much to talk about. Tonight,
Donald Trump begs women to take him back. Mark Robinson
wants his scandal to climax and finish already, and we
get to know the real tim Walls. But first, let's
talk about women. Did you know they can vote?
Speaker 7 (00:59):
Let's take a look at the men trying to win
their support in.
Speaker 6 (01:02):
A special edition of Indecision twenty twenty four. Those graphics
cost ten percent more because they were pink.
Speaker 7 (01:17):
Let's start with Donald Trump.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
According to Poles, he's deeply unpopular with women. Maybe it's
because of his legally adjudicated record of sexual assault. Maybe
he forgot their birthdays. It's hard to say, but the
fact is he needs to win them back and he
knows it. So last night he turned on the old
Trump charm.
Speaker 8 (01:37):
Sadly, women are poorer than they were four years.
Speaker 9 (01:42):
Ago, much mourer, are less healthy than they were four
years ago, are less safe on the streets, than they
were four years ago. Are more stressed and depressed and unhappy.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Oh use me, you really know how to flatter a lady.
Please tell me more about the bags under my eyes.
I love how he's acknowledging that we're stressed out, as
though he's not the one stressing us out. This is
like Boeing being like weird. How people seem so freaked
out about air travel these days. Although it's not true
(02:21):
that all women are poorer, eg and Carol seems to
be doing pretty well.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
But Trump is.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
A master marketer. That's how you sell things to women.
You convince them that they have a problem, and then
you say, here, buy these vagina gummies. And yes, in
this analogy, Trump is the vagina gummy.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I believe that I will fix all of that and fast.
You will no longer be abandoned, lonely or scared. You
will no longer be in danger. You're not going to
be in danger any longer. You will no longer have
anxiety from all of the problems our country has today.
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free.
Speaker 9 (03:10):
You will be protected and I will be your protector.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
I'm actually meeting someone here. I have a boyfriend, thank
you so much. Though I know what you're thinking. How
can Trump expect women to support him when he took
away abortion rights?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Well, luckily he has an answer for that.
Speaker 10 (03:37):
You will no.
Speaker 8 (03:37):
Longer be thinking about abortion because we've done something that
nobody else could have done. It is now where it
always had to be, with the states, and they vote
of the people.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Yes, the states where women live. Remember that thing that
you could always depend on because it was legal EveryWare.
Well now it's up for a vote every two years
and every jurisdiction forever. That feels better, right, No need
to think, don't think, just don't think. But Trump isn't
the only one not thinking clearly about abortion. Republicans up
(04:15):
and down the ballot are having trouble with it, like
Ohio's Bernie Moreno. He's a Republican nominee and a pivotal
Senate race. It's high stakes, so try not to piss
off half your constituents.
Speaker 11 (04:27):
Republican Senate candidate Bernie Marino is getting harsh backlash tonight
because of comments he made over the weekend about women
who support reproductive rights on the left has a lot.
Speaker 10 (04:39):
Of English voters.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Sadly, by the way, there's a lot of suburban women,
a lot of suburban women.
Speaker 10 (04:45):
They're like, listen, abortion is in.
Speaker 12 (04:47):
If I can't have an abortion of this country whenever I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Want, I will vote for anybody else.
Speaker 13 (04:52):
Okay, a little crazy, by the way, but especially for
a women that are like past fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I think I us out there.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
Yeah, how dare a woman who can't get pregnant care
about abortion? Only men who can't get pregnant are allowed
to care.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
About the born.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
People should only care about issues that affect their bodies.
Why do you care about it, Bernie Moreno, it's abortion,
not the rising price of extra small condoms. But of course,
the winner of this week's shitty Men competition has to
(05:41):
be North Carolina's Mark Robins, candidate for governor, and horny
Carl Winslow. Last week, it was reported that Robinson spent
years posting on the porn website nudafrica dot com. Yeah,
he called himself a black Nazi and wish he could
buy slaves. He talked about his love for trans porn,
(06:04):
even though in public he denounces trans people, and he
allegedly wrote detailed fantasies about his wife's sister that are
so explicit. I only feel comfortable reading them to you
if I replace all the nasty words with the word smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:18):
So here we go. Okay, here it is.
Speaker 10 (06:25):
Right.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
When I was really pumping the smurfshoot good, she shot
a long hot stream of smurf up in the air
that covered my chest and smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
It was so smurfing hot. She was smurfin, I was smurfin.
She was smurfin, and I.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Was covered in smurf and smurf juice and smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:47):
Damn, there goes my childhood.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Now.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Normally, even if one of these things were reported about,
you'd probably lay up for a while. But Mark Robinson
is not a normal person.
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Knew this morning.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Republican Mark Robinson fiery and defiant.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
While this country is literally facing a crisis situation on
the world stage, while our border is wide open, while
our businesses are struggling, while folks are dying from fentanyl,
while crime is firaling out of control, You folks want
to focus on tabloid trash, and quite frankly, I.
Speaker 10 (07:24):
Am sick of it.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
Yeah, people, listen up. There are real issues at stake here.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Inflation is so high, America's milks can't afford to pay
their pool boys. Utilities are so expensive, young men are
forced to shower with their step moms. Cities are so strapped,
the NTA is raising prices on the Bang bus. American
families are so poor they're living ass to mouth, and
immigrants are stealing all our jobs hand and blow. When
(08:02):
we're on this scandal, we go live to North Carolina
with Dulce Sloan.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
Come on, hell, don't say how do you think this.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Mark Robinson scandal is going to affect the female vote?
Speaker 12 (08:19):
The female vote, No, no, no, women have to shouldn't
have to respond to this.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
This Mark Robinson guy is a problem for men.
Speaker 12 (08:28):
He's confirmed all our greatest fears about them, that they
just want to cheat on their spouses and watch port
all day.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And in fact, I want a man to answer for this.
With Josh Josh Johnson Show itself. Put a camera on Josh.
Speaker 12 (08:47):
Oh, Josh, answer for Mark Robinson right now?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Is there a camera in my house? How'd you want
a camera in my house?
Speaker 12 (09:00):
I'm an Airbnb super host, baby, I can sneak a
camera into any room in America. But that's not important.
You need to tell me right now. You're not leaving
nazi comments on porn websites. What I bet you're jerking
off right now.
Speaker 10 (09:19):
You can see both my hands.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't know how you little freak do it.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I'm eating who eats and watches porn?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Jared from Subway? Next question?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Doesie help me out?
Speaker 7 (09:44):
Answer the question? Josh? Are you watching porn?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I'm watching a documentary on industrial farm animals.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
See them yeasty, nasty?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I bet you go to the last page of porn. Hug,
it's not poorn. Oh, so you've never watched porn?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
D'll say, my mama watches the show.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Don't make me say see I knew it.
Speaker 12 (10:15):
I bet you're on Nudeafrica dot com right now.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
I've never even heard of that website.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Ah, so you're saying you don't find black women to
track it?
Speaker 7 (10:27):
Josh, when did I say that?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
You know why you nasty? Get this nasty man on
my screen?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
He makes me sick.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
It makes me sick. There you have it, Daisy.
Speaker 12 (10:38):
Clearly, men like Josh Johnson will be voting in record
numbers for Mark Robinson.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm not so when you go to.
Speaker 12 (10:48):
Vote, bring the pure ol ladies, because that voting machine
lever is not the only thing they're hanking on.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
Duly knuted, dulce sloaded Josh Johnson.
Speaker 7 (10:58):
Everyone.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Leave him back.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
There's talking truth about pin Walls. They won't go away.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
On the Macaday.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
So one week come tonight will be the first vice
presidential debate. So let's get to know one of the
two men who will be on that stage. And another
installment of the Daily Show Ography.
Speaker 10 (11:36):
Boy that Tim Walls fella, she seems nice, a little
too nice.
Speaker 14 (11:46):
Tim Wall's job is to be the Jack Kvorkian for America.
His job is to be the assisted suicide doctor, to
lean over charmingly by the bedside of America and to
give it a thing injection.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Close your eyes, America, It'll all be over soon. This
is the Daily Showography of Tim Walls, Rapidally Nice, sponsored
by Trump Bench and Project twenty twenty five. Timothy James
(12:23):
Walls had a dangerously focsy upbringing.
Speaker 13 (12:26):
My town had four hundred people in it, twenty four
kids in my graduating class, twelve, four cousins, twelve were
culture colleague.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
He developed a taste for blood from his father and grandfather,
who owned a meat locker and was indoctrinated into communism.
While working on a farm where he evenly distributed fertilizer
regardless of which crops worked the hardest. Soon, Walls was
recruited to join the National Guard, where he admitted to
(12:55):
swindling our brave troops.
Speaker 13 (12:58):
I willingly say I got far more out of the
military than they got out of.
Speaker 10 (13:01):
Meet disgusting.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That government welfare paid for him to attend an elite
Ivy League style school in the globalist nexus of Shadra, Nebraska.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Not surprisingly, Walls.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Used his education degree to get a job teaching America's
future enemies in communist China. In China, Walls worked at
a Chinese school, teaching armies of Chinese students who were
from China.
Speaker 10 (13:29):
After completing his Chinese brainwashing.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Walls returned to the Midwest, where he indoctrinated decent American
children with his social studies, forcing them to read textbooks.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
And look at maps.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Now safely undercover in Minnesota, Walls married fellow teacher Gwen Whipple.
Speaker 10 (13:49):
And where do you think they honeymooned?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That's right China. To this day he still doesn't try
to hide his allegiance.
Speaker 13 (13:58):
Nimanhamma Happy Chinese, New York of the Pig Gone Fotsoy.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Walls's sinister niceness couldn't be contained by a classroom. It
started bleeding into after school activities when he took a
position coaching football, the same sports cia operative Travis Kelcey
plays as part of his tailor Swift psy On. But
it's no surprise Walls ended up a football coach. It
was in his blood to crave the touch of dead
(14:24):
pig flesh. From there, it was a small step to
his most evil act of kindness, yet grooming children to
be nice to each other.
Speaker 13 (14:35):
They asked if I would be interested in helping start
a gay straight alliance group. You have an older, white, straight,
married male football coach who's deeply concerned that these students
are treated barely and that there's no bullying bullying.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But being nice to children wasn't enough for this sicko.
He wanted to be nice to a whole congressional district.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I will speak for you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
After winning a seat, Walls charged in on day one,
just dripping with entitlement.
Speaker 13 (15:09):
Look at the door, my own restroom.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Pooping on the taxpayer's done? You know where else they
have government restrooms China? Before long, this ambitious zealot set
his sights on an even fancier place to poop, the
governor's office. His opponent tried desperately to warn people.
Speaker 10 (15:31):
I think Tim.
Speaker 8 (15:32):
Walls is an affable individual who.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Has a wonderful smile.
Speaker 10 (15:41):
But it was too late.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Walls seized power, and within days the state was overwhelmed
by riots in the streets and a deadly virus from
guess where. To no one's surprise, Governor Walls unleashed a
fury of radically nice policies and the nicest of all,
free breakfast and lunch for school kids. You know who
(16:03):
else gave kids free food? That witch who ate Handsel
and Gretel No something. Walls transformed Minnesota beyond recognition, even
renaming its very roads after bizarre pop stars who would
make less confident men question their own sexuality.
Speaker 13 (16:21):
This is the coolest bill signing that we will ever do.
Speaker 10 (16:24):
Sure if you like your little corvettes.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Red and his dark addictions don't end with pop music,
whether it's fixing cars, coin collecting buttercarbing, or owning guns
and hunting.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
Wait, no, skip that one, that's normal. The point is.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Walls is a matinee who dabbles in elitist predilections ranging
from oat cuisine.
Speaker 10 (16:47):
I am a corn dog guy, to oat coutour.
Speaker 13 (16:49):
I'm wearing corn dog sas just to be queer for everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So it's no wonder that when Kamala Harris needed a
henchman for her extremest takeover of America, was only one
man for the job.
Speaker 13 (17:02):
The most neglected part of home ownership is the gutters strinth.
Some water folks, it is hot out, the grass is green,
and the coffee's hot. We're close to putting the hay
in the barn and getting this thing done.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And that's why Tim Walls truly is radically nice.
Speaker 13 (17:20):
I think I lived the most boring life of anyone
you've ever met.
Speaker 15 (17:31):
Will be joining me on news and the way My
destiny isn't any nominated advers.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
He starts in two upcoming films, My Old Ass and Megalopolis.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Love Only Love.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I don't want to do that, but it does feel
good on my broken knee.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
How is your broken knee?
Speaker 5 (18:27):
By the way, I don't want to do that the
whole time.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
It's doing committed and that's we're doing. We're doing this
the whole time.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
How it feels right Mike it or not, it really
does feel good?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Does it help.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Keep it up?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
There?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
I don't give up table. Who's even watching?
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Now?
Speaker 6 (18:42):
Okay, how Aubrey injured herself doing something? I came cool
playing basketball, not like me when I tweaked my back
because I slept the wrong way.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
No, I've done that too. It's true. I was playing.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Basketball w n b A also our weekend in Phoenix
at their brand new, beautiful practice facility, and it was
a very casual game that ended tragically and I wasn't
even being guarded. It was very embarrassing too, to do that.
I just went up for a shot and then came
down weird. And then the entire Team USA staff of doctors, you.
Speaker 7 (19:21):
Know, they were there, Oh yeah, to rush. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I think actually I could be wrong, but I might
have been the first injury report on team the Team
USA roster.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
You should have led with that. That's like, I think
it's one.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Yeah, I think it's true.
Speaker 6 (19:38):
I know you probably have to be a little bit
tight lipped about the plot of this Coppola film, Megalopolis,
but I think it's apparent from the clip, the clip
that we just watched this is the tragic story of
a very disgruntled elevator operator.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
What is she so disgruntled about?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Well, you know, she her dog got killed in a
very Oh I'm sorry, No, no, no, no, uh she
she's she wants money, she wants power, she wants to
get out of that elevator.
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Yes, she's been in there for far too long.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Nothing will stop her.
Speaker 7 (20:22):
Yes, you, in.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
All seriousness, you play a morally corrupt journalist.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
How much Tucker Carlson footage did you have.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
To do.
Speaker 7 (20:32):
To study to this character?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I mean I actually, in all seriousness, I did watch
a lot of Fox News to study to Yeah, to
research my role as a correct journalist.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I did.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
How high are your therapy bills? Now?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
High?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
Very high?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
Yeah? What was that like?
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Being?
Speaker 6 (20:58):
I mean a cope, A film that's enormous wild.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
I still can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
We had the premiere last night and I was sitting
around going like, I cannot believe I'm in this movie.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
It's insane. Yeah, it has such a Yeah, he's such
a legend and you know, an icon. It's like it's
it doesn't feel real.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
And I heard that he treated this set almost like
theater camp.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
There was a lot of improv and rehearsal.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Is that true?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean Francis loves actors, he loves
the process, and he set up a week of rehearsals
and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into,
but I found out very quickly that anything can happen,
and it's not about reading the lines on the page.
It's about doing whatever, you know, games, you know, to
(21:46):
come to his mind on that day, different.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
Kinds of games.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, but it was it was kind of amazing because
it was a mind meld. We all kind of you know,
it was like an old, you know, timey kind of
theater troupe. We all kind of like, you know, connected,
and our defenses fell away, and it was it was fun.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
Did you love that because you come from improv theater,
sketch comedy as a comedic actor coming up?
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Was that like, oh yeah, I get.
Speaker 6 (22:10):
To roll up my sleeves or were you like I
memorize my lines?
Speaker 5 (22:16):
You know? To be honest, it was a little bit
of both.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
I mean, yeah, I like to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I love improvising in general, but but you know, yeah,
I mean there was one day I remember I walked
in and there was a little wooden platform with a
microphone and one of his interns with like an old
timey like spotlight kind of like you know, like that,
and I walked in and he said, it's time for
the Wow Show, which is my character in the movie Wow.
(22:41):
Put on the show and everyone started clapping, and it
was like, this is a nightmare. This is like actually
like literally like what happens in.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Nightmares, and wanted you to improvise the Wow Show.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yes, and there was that was it. It was just
I saw the stage.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
The spotlight and the mic and he had set it
all up, you know, audio visually style, and.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
It was there was no one can do that. It's you,
by the way. You you were the person who could
go in and knock that up.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
I mean, I don't know what I did.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I think I was like I was doing like Judy Garland,
like Vaude fill numbers and I was like saying all
the lines from Random Hearts, you know, Christian Scott Thomas
and Karris got.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Board and yeah, I don't remember.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
Did he call you by your character name Wow Platinum
the entire time?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Yes? He still does.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
With that confusing like when he went Wow, were you
like are you calling my name?
Speaker 7 (23:34):
Or did I have a good take?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I think you know. I it was helpful for it.
We we really were on the same page, him and I.
I felt like, you know, he got he totally.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
I No. It didn't feel weird at all, and it
still doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
When he calls me, wow, I just immediately, you know,
slipped back in and and do that, and then I
slipped back out.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Just start spreading conspiracy theory is just like, yeah, Megan can.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
I'd love to Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Yeah, You're not just starring in a Coppola film. You
also have a Marvel show coming out. Yes, Agatha, Agatha
all along. Yep, you also have a sun Dance darling
called My Old Ass.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Yes, my old Ass.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
Talk to us about my old Ass. The movie not
My Old Ass?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
But okay?
Speaker 7 (24:27):
Or do I don't go on?
Speaker 5 (24:30):
No, the movie okay my old Ass. Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
It is in theaters now, and it's a ridiculous. It's
a very funny title for a movie that is so
like heartwarming and like, oh my god, I cry every
time I see it.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
And it's it's about.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
A girl called Elliott who's the summer before she leaves
home for college. She she does a mushroom trip with
her friends and she meets her old ass, her thirty
nine year old self played by me her old ass
as she calls me in during the mushroom trip, and
then it's kind of a move. It's kind of this
amazing movie about your thirty nine year old self talking
(25:11):
to your younger self and going like, don't do this,
and do this, and it's just awesome.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
It's really good, mazing.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Stella is incredible and Megan Park, the director, the writer, director,
she like knocked it out of the park intended.
Speaker 6 (25:24):
She was as she was born to do. So she
was such a sweet movie. It's so funny and it's
so heartwarming and you're wonderful in it.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (25:32):
And it does sort of beg the question like if
you could go back in time and give yourself advice
and make a different choice, would you do that? Did
you do you feel like you would go back in
time and change anything?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
You know, there's things I would say to myself that
I can't you know that I'd say not to do that.
You know I can't say you know on television.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
No, go on, go on?
Speaker 6 (25:53):
Okay, like maybe not go back in time and tear
your asyl.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
On January seventh, you know, nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Don't say January sixth. I was gonna say, we should.
This could be incriminating.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I know why January seventh?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Why?
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Okay, I don't know why I put that.
Speaker 6 (26:11):
Are you the kind of person that's just like, no,
everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
It led me to where I am.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I now think I am. Yeah, I think I am.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I think I'm I think I'm that person because I
did a whole press jugget with Mazie and we got
asked this question all day and it was giving me
like an existential crisis by like hour four because I
was like, I don't know, I don't know what I
would say, tom My older stop.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
The people are like, what would you say to.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Not you know that's the question you would ask.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
But I was like, I don't know, And I thought,
you know, what I really want is I want my
old ass, Like for me, now is my ass and
then my old older ass. I want like seventy five
year old me to like appeared me right.
Speaker 7 (26:49):
Now, seventy five seventy five year old you?
Speaker 8 (26:53):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (26:54):
Now, now do you do you think about what your
seventy five year old self would tell you right now
in this moment, I.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Try to imagine it because when I'm like thinking about
I don't know anything. I just feel like I don't know.
I just feel like I'm going to be that age
and like I already.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Don't kind of like care or something. But I feel
like at seventy five, I'm are really not going to care.
Oh my god, that's going to be really good.
Speaker 7 (27:20):
Should we you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
Should we take mushrooms right now and try to find
our seventy five year olds?
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Well, I'll take more, but yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Am writing due.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
Okay, I wish Comedy Central campaign, Oh I understand?
Speaker 5 (27:33):
No no?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
So sheare your co star.
Speaker 6 (27:36):
And Agatha all Along was here last week and she
was asked, it's a very witchy show. She plays a witch,
you play a witch. She was asked, who would you
choose in your dream coven? So I'm curious if you
could come up with a dream coven of witches, who
would you choose?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Okay, Kamala Harris, oh just for fun? And Judy Davis,
who thank you?
Speaker 5 (28:07):
One person? Judy Davis.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I would say Mia Farrow, Patti LuPone, they done away
just all the you know what I mean, and then
Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Just to like wrop it out.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
I would love to join your coven, by the way,
and he does, thank you.
Speaker 7 (28:25):
Well, it's fine, Well, it's okay.
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Let me talk to Judy and do you want to
go back in time and change your answer just to
throw throw me in the mix?
Speaker 5 (28:33):
You have drugs that I can take first.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
Yes, we'll get to that. Okay, Thank you so much
for being on. Thank you Atulian every.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Day meal Les and I'm Max everywhere every twenty seven.
Speaker 15 (29:04):
That's our show here.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
How does that man do it?
Speaker 7 (29:15):
You know, we lead our lives right to and from work.
Speaker 10 (29:18):
We got stress.
Speaker 8 (29:19):
This guy what he does, the energy he is relentless.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
I think that is the perfect word.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 7 (29:35):
Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 13 (29:37):
Ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime
on Paramount
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Plus Paramount Podcasts
You're listening to Comedy centralow.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's America's only sorts for news.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
This is the Daily Joe with your host Daisy light.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Daily Joe.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
I'm Daddie Lighted. We've got so much to talk about. Tonight,
Donald Trump begs women to take him back. Mark Robinson
wants his scandal to climax and finish already, and we
get to know the real tim Walls. But first, let's
talk about women. Did you know they can vote?
Speaker 7 (00:59):
Let's take a look at the men trying to win
their support in.
Speaker 6 (01:02):
A special edition of Indecision twenty twenty four. Those graphics
cost ten percent more because they were pink.
Speaker 7 (01:17):
Let's start with Donald Trump.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
According to Poles, he's deeply unpopular with women. Maybe it's
because of his legally adjudicated record of sexual assault. Maybe
he forgot their birthdays. It's hard to say, but the
fact is he needs to win them back and he
knows it. So last night he turned on the old
Trump charm.
Speaker 8 (01:37):
Sadly, women are poorer than they were four years.
Speaker 9 (01:42):
Ago, much mourer, are less healthy than they were four
years ago, are less safe on the streets, than they
were four years ago. Are more stressed and depressed and unhappy.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Oh use me, you really know how to flatter a lady.
Please tell me more about the bags under my eyes.
I love how he's acknowledging that we're stressed out, as
though he's not the one stressing us out. This is
like Boeing being like weird. How people seem so freaked
out about air travel these days. Although it's not true
(02:21):
that all women are poorer, eg and Carol seems to
be doing pretty well.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
But Trump is.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
A master marketer. That's how you sell things to women.
You convince them that they have a problem, and then
you say, here, buy these vagina gummies. And yes, in
this analogy, Trump is the vagina gummy.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I believe that I will fix all of that and fast.
You will no longer be abandoned, lonely or scared. You
will no longer be in danger. You're not going to
be in danger any longer. You will no longer have
anxiety from all of the problems our country has today.
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free.
Speaker 9 (03:10):
You will be protected and I will be your protector.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
I'm actually meeting someone here. I have a boyfriend, thank
you so much. Though I know what you're thinking. How
can Trump expect women to support him when he took
away abortion rights?
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Well, luckily he has an answer for that.
Speaker 10 (03:37):
You will no.
Speaker 8 (03:37):
Longer be thinking about abortion because we've done something that
nobody else could have done. It is now where it
always had to be, with the states, and they vote
of the people.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Yes, the states where women live. Remember that thing that
you could always depend on because it was legal EveryWare.
Well now it's up for a vote every two years
and every jurisdiction forever. That feels better, right, No need
to think, don't think, just don't think. But Trump isn't
the only one not thinking clearly about abortion. Republicans up
(04:15):
and down the ballot are having trouble with it, like
Ohio's Bernie Moreno. He's a Republican nominee and a pivotal
Senate race. It's high stakes, so try not to piss
off half your constituents.
Speaker 11 (04:27):
Republican Senate candidate Bernie Marino is getting harsh backlash tonight
because of comments he made over the weekend about women
who support reproductive rights on the left has a lot.
Speaker 10 (04:39):
Of English voters.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Sadly, by the way, there's a lot of suburban women,
a lot of suburban women.
Speaker 10 (04:45):
They're like, listen, abortion is in.
Speaker 12 (04:47):
If I can't have an abortion of this country whenever I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Want, I will vote for anybody else.
Speaker 13 (04:52):
Okay, a little crazy, by the way, but especially for
a women that are like past fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I think I us out there.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
Yeah, how dare a woman who can't get pregnant care
about abortion? Only men who can't get pregnant are allowed
to care.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
About the born.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
People should only care about issues that affect their bodies.
Why do you care about it, Bernie Moreno, it's abortion,
not the rising price of extra small condoms. But of course,
the winner of this week's shitty Men competition has to
(05:41):
be North Carolina's Mark Robins, candidate for governor, and horny
Carl Winslow. Last week, it was reported that Robinson spent
years posting on the porn website nudafrica dot com. Yeah,
he called himself a black Nazi and wish he could
buy slaves. He talked about his love for trans porn,
(06:04):
even though in public he denounces trans people, and he
allegedly wrote detailed fantasies about his wife's sister that are
so explicit. I only feel comfortable reading them to you
if I replace all the nasty words with the word smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:18):
So here we go. Okay, here it is.
Speaker 10 (06:25):
Right.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
When I was really pumping the smurfshoot good, she shot
a long hot stream of smurf up in the air
that covered my chest and smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
It was so smurfing hot. She was smurfin, I was smurfin.
She was smurfin, and I.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Was covered in smurf and smurf juice and smurf.
Speaker 7 (06:47):
Damn, there goes my childhood.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Now.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Normally, even if one of these things were reported about,
you'd probably lay up for a while. But Mark Robinson
is not a normal person.
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Knew this morning.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Republican Mark Robinson fiery and defiant.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
While this country is literally facing a crisis situation on
the world stage, while our border is wide open, while
our businesses are struggling, while folks are dying from fentanyl,
while crime is firaling out of control, You folks want
to focus on tabloid trash, and quite frankly, I.
Speaker 10 (07:24):
Am sick of it.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
Yeah, people, listen up. There are real issues at stake here.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Inflation is so high, America's milks can't afford to pay
their pool boys. Utilities are so expensive, young men are
forced to shower with their step moms. Cities are so strapped,
the NTA is raising prices on the Bang bus. American
families are so poor they're living ass to mouth, and
immigrants are stealing all our jobs hand and blow. When
(08:02):
we're on this scandal, we go live to North Carolina
with Dulce Sloan.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
Come on, hell, don't say how do you think this.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Mark Robinson scandal is going to affect the female vote?
Speaker 12 (08:19):
The female vote, No, no, no, women have to shouldn't
have to respond to this.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
This Mark Robinson guy is a problem for men.
Speaker 12 (08:28):
He's confirmed all our greatest fears about them, that they
just want to cheat on their spouses and watch port
all day.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And in fact, I want a man to answer for this.
With Josh Josh Johnson Show itself. Put a camera on Josh.
Speaker 12 (08:47):
Oh, Josh, answer for Mark Robinson right now?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Is there a camera in my house? How'd you want
a camera in my house?
Speaker 12 (09:00):
I'm an Airbnb super host, baby, I can sneak a
camera into any room in America. But that's not important.
You need to tell me right now. You're not leaving
nazi comments on porn websites. What I bet you're jerking
off right now.
Speaker 10 (09:19):
You can see both my hands.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't know how you little freak do it.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I'm eating who eats and watches porn?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Jared from Subway? Next question?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Doesie help me out?
Speaker 7 (09:44):
Answer the question? Josh? Are you watching porn?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I'm watching a documentary on industrial farm animals.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
See them yeasty, nasty?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I bet you go to the last page of porn. Hug,
it's not poorn. Oh, so you've never watched porn?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
D'll say, my mama watches the show.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Don't make me say see I knew it.
Speaker 12 (10:15):
I bet you're on Nudeafrica dot com right now.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
I've never even heard of that website.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Ah, so you're saying you don't find black women to
track it?
Speaker 7 (10:27):
Josh, when did I say that?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
You know why you nasty? Get this nasty man on
my screen?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
He makes me sick.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
It makes me sick. There you have it, Daisy.
Speaker 12 (10:38):
Clearly, men like Josh Johnson will be voting in record
numbers for Mark Robinson.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm not so when you go to.
Speaker 12 (10:48):
Vote, bring the pure ol ladies, because that voting machine
lever is not the only thing they're hanking on.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
Duly knuted, dulce sloaded Josh Johnson.
Speaker 7 (10:58):
Everyone.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Leave him back.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
There's talking truth about pin Walls. They won't go away.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
On the Macaday.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
So one week come tonight will be the first vice
presidential debate. So let's get to know one of the
two men who will be on that stage. And another
installment of the Daily Show Ography.
Speaker 10 (11:36):
Boy that Tim Walls fella, she seems nice, a little
too nice.
Speaker 14 (11:46):
Tim Wall's job is to be the Jack Kvorkian for America.
His job is to be the assisted suicide doctor, to
lean over charmingly by the bedside of America and to
give it a thing injection.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Close your eyes, America, It'll all be over soon. This
is the Daily Showography of Tim Walls, Rapidally Nice, sponsored
by Trump Bench and Project twenty twenty five. Timothy James
(12:23):
Walls had a dangerously focsy upbringing.
Speaker 13 (12:26):
My town had four hundred people in it, twenty four
kids in my graduating class, twelve, four cousins, twelve were
culture colleague.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
He developed a taste for blood from his father and grandfather,
who owned a meat locker and was indoctrinated into communism.
While working on a farm where he evenly distributed fertilizer
regardless of which crops worked the hardest. Soon, Walls was
recruited to join the National Guard, where he admitted to
(12:55):
swindling our brave troops.
Speaker 13 (12:58):
I willingly say I got far more out of the
military than they got out of.
Speaker 10 (13:01):
Meet disgusting.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That government welfare paid for him to attend an elite
Ivy League style school in the globalist nexus of Shadra, Nebraska.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Not surprisingly, Walls.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Used his education degree to get a job teaching America's
future enemies in communist China. In China, Walls worked at
a Chinese school, teaching armies of Chinese students who were
from China.
Speaker 10 (13:29):
After completing his Chinese brainwashing.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Walls returned to the Midwest, where he indoctrinated decent American
children with his social studies, forcing them to read textbooks.
Speaker 10 (13:41):
And look at maps.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Now safely undercover in Minnesota, Walls married fellow teacher Gwen Whipple.
Speaker 10 (13:49):
And where do you think they honeymooned?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That's right China. To this day he still doesn't try
to hide his allegiance.
Speaker 13 (13:58):
Nimanhamma Happy Chinese, New York of the Pig Gone Fotsoy.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Walls's sinister niceness couldn't be contained by a classroom. It
started bleeding into after school activities when he took a
position coaching football, the same sports cia operative Travis Kelcey
plays as part of his tailor Swift psy On. But
it's no surprise Walls ended up a football coach. It
was in his blood to crave the touch of dead
(14:24):
pig flesh. From there, it was a small step to
his most evil act of kindness, yet grooming children to
be nice to each other.
Speaker 13 (14:35):
They asked if I would be interested in helping start
a gay straight alliance group. You have an older, white, straight,
married male football coach who's deeply concerned that these students
are treated barely and that there's no bullying bullying.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But being nice to children wasn't enough for this sicko.
He wanted to be nice to a whole congressional district.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I will speak for you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
After winning a seat, Walls charged in on day one,
just dripping with entitlement.
Speaker 13 (15:09):
Look at the door, my own restroom.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Pooping on the taxpayer's done? You know where else they
have government restrooms China? Before long, this ambitious zealot set
his sights on an even fancier place to poop, the
governor's office. His opponent tried desperately to warn people.
Speaker 10 (15:31):
I think Tim.
Speaker 8 (15:32):
Walls is an affable individual who.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Has a wonderful smile.
Speaker 10 (15:41):
But it was too late.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Walls seized power, and within days the state was overwhelmed
by riots in the streets and a deadly virus from
guess where. To no one's surprise, Governor Walls unleashed a
fury of radically nice policies and the nicest of all,
free breakfast and lunch for school kids. You know who
(16:03):
else gave kids free food? That witch who ate Handsel
and Gretel No something. Walls transformed Minnesota beyond recognition, even
renaming its very roads after bizarre pop stars who would
make less confident men question their own sexuality.
Speaker 13 (16:21):
This is the coolest bill signing that we will ever do.
Speaker 10 (16:24):
Sure if you like your little corvettes.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Red and his dark addictions don't end with pop music,
whether it's fixing cars, coin collecting buttercarbing, or owning guns
and hunting.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
Wait, no, skip that one, that's normal. The point is.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Walls is a matinee who dabbles in elitist predilections ranging
from oat cuisine.
Speaker 10 (16:47):
I am a corn dog guy, to oat coutour.
Speaker 13 (16:49):
I'm wearing corn dog sas just to be queer for everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So it's no wonder that when Kamala Harris needed a
henchman for her extremest takeover of America, was only one
man for the job.
Speaker 13 (17:02):
The most neglected part of home ownership is the gutters strinth.
Some water folks, it is hot out, the grass is green,
and the coffee's hot. We're close to putting the hay
in the barn and getting this thing done.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And that's why Tim Walls truly is radically nice.
Speaker 13 (17:20):
I think I lived the most boring life of anyone
you've ever met.
Speaker 15 (17:31):
Will be joining me on news and the way My
destiny isn't any nominated advers.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
He starts in two upcoming films, My Old Ass and Megalopolis.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Love Only Love.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I don't want to do that, but it does feel
good on my broken knee.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
How is your broken knee?
Speaker 5 (18:27):
By the way, I don't want to do that the
whole time.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
It's doing committed and that's we're doing. We're doing this
the whole time.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
How it feels right Mike it or not, it really
does feel good?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Does it help.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Keep it up?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
There?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
I don't give up table. Who's even watching?
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Now?
Speaker 6 (18:42):
Okay, how Aubrey injured herself doing something? I came cool
playing basketball, not like me when I tweaked my back
because I slept the wrong way.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
No, I've done that too. It's true. I was playing.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Basketball w n b A also our weekend in Phoenix
at their brand new, beautiful practice facility, and it was
a very casual game that ended tragically and I wasn't
even being guarded. It was very embarrassing too, to do that.
I just went up for a shot and then came
down weird. And then the entire Team USA staff of doctors, you.
Speaker 7 (19:21):
Know, they were there, Oh yeah, to rush. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I think actually I could be wrong, but I might
have been the first injury report on team the Team
USA roster.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
You should have led with that. That's like, I think
it's one.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Yeah, I think it's true.
Speaker 6 (19:38):
I know you probably have to be a little bit
tight lipped about the plot of this Coppola film, Megalopolis,
but I think it's apparent from the clip, the clip
that we just watched this is the tragic story of
a very disgruntled elevator operator.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
What is she so disgruntled about?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Well, you know, she her dog got killed in a
very Oh I'm sorry, No, no, no, no, uh she
she's she wants money, she wants power, she wants to
get out of that elevator.
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Yes, she's been in there for far too long.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Nothing will stop her.
Speaker 7 (20:22):
Yes, you, in.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
All seriousness, you play a morally corrupt journalist.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
How much Tucker Carlson footage did you have.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
To do.
Speaker 7 (20:32):
To study to this character?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I mean I actually, in all seriousness, I did watch
a lot of Fox News to study to Yeah, to
research my role as a correct journalist.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
I did.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
How high are your therapy bills? Now?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
High?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
Very high?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
Yeah? What was that like?
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Being?
Speaker 6 (20:58):
I mean a cope, A film that's enormous wild.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
I still can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
We had the premiere last night and I was sitting
around going like, I cannot believe I'm in this movie.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
It's insane. Yeah, it has such a Yeah, he's such
a legend and you know, an icon. It's like it's
it doesn't feel real.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
And I heard that he treated this set almost like
theater camp.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
There was a lot of improv and rehearsal.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Is that true?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean Francis loves actors, he loves
the process, and he set up a week of rehearsals
and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into,
but I found out very quickly that anything can happen,
and it's not about reading the lines on the page.
It's about doing whatever, you know, games, you know, to
(21:46):
come to his mind on that day, different.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
Kinds of games.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, but it was it was kind of amazing because
it was a mind meld. We all kind of you know,
it was like an old, you know, timey kind of
theater troupe. We all kind of like, you know, connected,
and our defenses fell away, and it was it was fun.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
Did you love that because you come from improv theater,
sketch comedy as a comedic actor coming up?
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Was that like, oh yeah, I get.
Speaker 6 (22:10):
To roll up my sleeves or were you like I
memorize my lines?
Speaker 5 (22:16):
You know? To be honest, it was a little bit
of both.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
I mean, yeah, I like to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I love improvising in general, but but you know, yeah,
I mean there was one day I remember I walked
in and there was a little wooden platform with a
microphone and one of his interns with like an old
timey like spotlight kind of like you know, like that,
and I walked in and he said, it's time for
the Wow Show, which is my character in the movie Wow.
(22:41):
Put on the show and everyone started clapping, and it
was like, this is a nightmare. This is like actually
like literally like what happens in.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Nightmares, and wanted you to improvise the Wow Show.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yes, and there was that was it. It was just
I saw the stage.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
The spotlight and the mic and he had set it
all up, you know, audio visually style, and.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
It was there was no one can do that. It's you,
by the way. You you were the person who could
go in and knock that up.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
I mean, I don't know what I did.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I think I was like I was doing like Judy Garland,
like Vaude fill numbers and I was like saying all
the lines from Random Hearts, you know, Christian Scott Thomas
and Karris got.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Board and yeah, I don't remember.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
Did he call you by your character name Wow Platinum
the entire time?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Yes? He still does.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
With that confusing like when he went Wow, were you
like are you calling my name?
Speaker 7 (23:34):
Or did I have a good take?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I think you know. I it was helpful for it.
We we really were on the same page, him and I.
I felt like, you know, he got he totally.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
I No. It didn't feel weird at all, and it
still doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
When he calls me, wow, I just immediately, you know,
slipped back in and and do that, and then I
slipped back out.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Just start spreading conspiracy theory is just like, yeah, Megan can.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
I'd love to Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Yeah, You're not just starring in a Coppola film. You
also have a Marvel show coming out. Yes, Agatha, Agatha
all along. Yep, you also have a sun Dance darling
called My Old Ass.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Yes, my old Ass.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
Talk to us about my old Ass. The movie not
My Old Ass?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
But okay?
Speaker 7 (24:27):
Or do I don't go on?
Speaker 5 (24:30):
No, the movie okay my old Ass. Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
It is in theaters now, and it's a ridiculous. It's
a very funny title for a movie that is so
like heartwarming and like, oh my god, I cry every
time I see it.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
And it's it's about.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
A girl called Elliott who's the summer before she leaves
home for college. She she does a mushroom trip with
her friends and she meets her old ass, her thirty
nine year old self played by me her old ass
as she calls me in during the mushroom trip, and
then it's kind of a move. It's kind of this
amazing movie about your thirty nine year old self talking
(25:11):
to your younger self and going like, don't do this,
and do this, and it's just awesome.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
It's really good, mazing.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Stella is incredible and Megan Park, the director, the writer, director,
she like knocked it out of the park intended.
Speaker 6 (25:24):
She was as she was born to do. So she
was such a sweet movie. It's so funny and it's
so heartwarming and you're wonderful in it.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (25:32):
And it does sort of beg the question like if
you could go back in time and give yourself advice
and make a different choice, would you do that? Did
you do you feel like you would go back in
time and change anything?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
You know, there's things I would say to myself that
I can't you know that I'd say not to do that.
You know I can't say you know on television.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
No, go on, go on?
Speaker 6 (25:53):
Okay, like maybe not go back in time and tear
your asyl.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
On January seventh, you know, nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Don't say January sixth. I was gonna say, we should.
This could be incriminating.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I know why January seventh?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Why?
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Okay, I don't know why I put that.
Speaker 6 (26:11):
Are you the kind of person that's just like, no,
everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
It led me to where I am.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I now think I am. Yeah, I think I am.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I think I'm I think I'm that person because I
did a whole press jugget with Mazie and we got
asked this question all day and it was giving me
like an existential crisis by like hour four because I
was like, I don't know, I don't know what I
would say, tom My older stop.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
The people are like, what would you say to.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Not you know that's the question you would ask.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
But I was like, I don't know, And I thought,
you know, what I really want is I want my
old ass, Like for me, now is my ass and
then my old older ass. I want like seventy five
year old me to like appeared me right.
Speaker 7 (26:49):
Now, seventy five seventy five year old you?
Speaker 8 (26:53):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (26:54):
Now, now do you do you think about what your
seventy five year old self would tell you right now
in this moment, I.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Try to imagine it because when I'm like thinking about
I don't know anything. I just feel like I don't know.
I just feel like I'm going to be that age
and like I already.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Don't kind of like care or something. But I feel
like at seventy five, I'm are really not going to care.
Oh my god, that's going to be really good.
Speaker 7 (27:20):
Should we you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
Should we take mushrooms right now and try to find
our seventy five year olds?
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Well, I'll take more, but yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Am writing due.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
Okay, I wish Comedy Central campaign, Oh I understand?
Speaker 5 (27:33):
No no?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
So sheare your co star.
Speaker 6 (27:36):
And Agatha all Along was here last week and she
was asked, it's a very witchy show. She plays a witch,
you play a witch. She was asked, who would you
choose in your dream coven? So I'm curious if you
could come up with a dream coven of witches, who
would you choose?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Okay, Kamala Harris, oh just for fun? And Judy Davis,
who thank you?
Speaker 5 (28:07):
One person? Judy Davis.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I would say Mia Farrow, Patti LuPone, they done away
just all the you know what I mean, and then
Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Just to like wrop it out.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
I would love to join your coven, by the way,
and he does, thank you.
Speaker 7 (28:25):
Well, it's fine, Well, it's okay.
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Let me talk to Judy and do you want to
go back in time and change your answer just to
throw throw me in the mix?
Speaker 5 (28:33):
You have drugs that I can take first.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
Yes, we'll get to that. Okay, Thank you so much
for being on. Thank you Atulian every.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Day meal Les and I'm Max everywhere every twenty seven.
Speaker 15 (29:04):
That's our show here.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
How does that man do it?
Speaker 7 (29:15):
You know, we lead our lives right to and from work.
Speaker 10 (29:18):
We got stress.
Speaker 8 (29:19):
This guy what he does, the energy he is relentless.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
I think that is the perfect word.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 7 (29:35):
Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 13 (29:37):
Ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime
on Paramount
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Plus Paramount Podcasts
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