January 18, 2022 • 31 mins
On this episode of The Dr. "Sex" Reese Show, we discuss who’s allowed in the delivery room, how to get your body baby-ready, and Dr. Reese has his integrity questioned by a conspiracy-minded caller.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Make sure to subscribe, rate, and review The Doctor Sex
re Show wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. On
today's episode of The Doctor Sex re Show, we discuss
who's allowed in the delivery room, how to get your
body baby ready, and a frisky caller has some personal
(00:22):
questions for the doctor. And Now The Doctor Sex Reese
Show with your host, Dr Robert sex Reese. This is
the Doctor Robert Sex re Show. I'm Dr Robert sex Reese.
How can I help you today? Every caller that calls me,
(00:42):
I take as it's me or them. I don't like
that either. Honestly, now that I'm hearing it come from you,
I'm very excited to talk about this. Can you give
me a second. I'm choking on a walnut. You know
you're on the air, and we just put aside our
differences and agree that I was right, very impatient to
hear your question, but also living in fear of it.
I'm throwing when gems at you and you just keep
dropping them in the river. My situation is, I'm doing
(01:04):
what I love. I'm free from human touch, and I'm
here to give what I have to you. And welcome, Welcome,
Welcome to the Doctor sex Rees Show. I am your host,
Doctor Robert sex Reese, the only sex therapy radio host
in America who has never had sex. As you know,
(01:26):
we had a little, a little bit of a break
from the show. There are some legal reasons for that,
there are some social reasons from that, there are some
emotional reasons for that. We can get into it at
another time. The point is we got a new lease
on life. We've got a new producer named Shelley. Very
excited to have Shelly waves. Shelly. I can see her waving,
you cannot. She's got a great background and news I
(01:48):
believe is that right news? And I think she's gonna
bring a fresh perspective to the show, hopefully not as
obsessed with sex as some of the previous producers have been.
I know that's been a point of contention with callers, uh,
some of whom want the show to be about nothing
but sex, and of course that's something I try to avoid.
Oh and just a little technical note here, we're having
(02:11):
kind of an issue with our soundboard. It does not
allow us to disengage a call. So pretty cool. That's
a that's a pretty cool feature to come back to.
Let's hear from our first caller. We have Andre on
the line. Today's topic is birth human birth. As it
turns out, Andre, how can I help you? Oh? Thank
(02:32):
you so much. You know, my wife's getting ready to
give birth right and and you know, I hear that
when you see that baby born before you, it's a
life changing experience, and obviously I want that. But then
I also heard you know, when you see that baby
come out, it also you know, changes things in the bedroom.
(02:54):
And me and my wife we who I mean, you
would think we're like rabbits, because we are are. We
just can't stay off of each other. We love. I
think you should have called to ask me about four
play because you just jumped into this call hammering me.
Oh yeah, I just didn't. I didn't want to waste
your time. I just want to give Why don't you
(03:15):
let me decide who's wasting time? Okay, I am the doctor. Okay,
unless you are a doctor. No I'm not. It wouldn't
matter if you were. It's still my show. But let's
slow it down. You're married, m hm. And then what happened?
I forgot everything else. You know, my wife was pregnant
and we're getting close. First child, first you know. She
(03:38):
she said she wants me in there to hold her hand.
But she said, it's totally cool. It's totally fine. Where
anywhere too much in the in the delivery room, inside
the room. Yeah, inside the room while the baby's coming out.
Oh yeah, okay, Well we can't do that. What other
question do you have? Well, yeah, that's the question if
(03:59):
I'm not doing it, and that's the end of the question.
But I mean, if I am doing it, you know,
I just wanted to know, you know, if if you
had any tips to you know, keep my mind scintillated.
You don't have to wait a minute. You want to
keep scintillated. Yeah, I just want to keep my brain
scintillated because I would during the birth, well after the birth,
I just I feel like I won't be able to
(04:19):
look out of vagina the same. Well, that's true. That's
a big problem you're going to have. Let me ask
you this. Do you love your wife? Yeah? I mean
we're talking about four players earlier, and I you know,
at a moment's notice, I'm ready to give. That doesn't
mean that doesn't mean love. That's something that's some desire
(04:42):
inside of you that's not being met. Probably something to
do with something having to do with your diet when
you were a child. Did you eat a lot of
fruit as a child. Yeah, I'm a big fan of
apples with cinnamon. That's cool. You raw? You put it
on their raw? Do you bake it? I'd put it
on their raw? Wow? And you don't call for anything
from the from the because I've true, I'll let the
(05:04):
moisture of the apple kind of I like to call
it a natty bake, can naturally bake? Do you slice
them up and then grind it over? Well, I slice
it up and then I sprinkle it over you. Okay,
you're not doing from a cinnamon stick. You're getting from
the store, bought mccormicks or something. Yeah, I can definitely
use mccormie. You like to give things nicknames? Huh? Is
this why you want to have a kid? I like?
(05:25):
I like I like nicknames and like shortening things and think,
you know, honestly, I think it's kind of cool. Andre agree.
I agree with you there, And it's something I've always
wanted to be able to do and I've never been
able to do it. But the point I'm trying to
make is this, if you love your wife. You will
not be in that room with her when her the
(05:46):
g I not explodes from the birth of the baby. Honestly,
you know, I kind of don't know. I don't know
if I if I if I want to be in there,
because you know, some people say it's a life changing experience.
It is. Oh, so you're so I should know. You know,
you hear life changing experience and you think positive, right, yes,
(06:08):
But there's a lot of life changing experiences that are
not positive. Death is a life changing experience. Life changing
experience could include going death from a train accident. I
feel like typically when people say life changing experience, they
mean it's usually meant in a positive way. Yeah, well
that's what I'm saying. It usually is, but it's not always.
(06:29):
I gave two examples death and deafness through a loud
train accident. So what's the problem. You don't You just
don't want to. You want to stop making love to
your wife. You feel like you're doing it too much? No, No,
I I think I'm doing it enough. I I mean
I'm ready to get back in it. You know, right
now we're having regular sex. I heard it helps helps,
(06:51):
what you know, with the with the birth canal, keeping
it you know worked out. No, that's not true. First
of all, birth can is a myth. That's a term
they came up with years ago off the success of
the Erie Canal, when everything was all about canals. They
were trying to canal everything Root canal, Erie Canal, birth canal.
(07:14):
You could go on canal rides, there were canal chocolate bars.
Channels used to be called canals, Canal five, canal six,
canal seven. Yeah, I just want to know if I
should probably step in that with her. But I mean,
based on everything that you've said right now, I think
it's gonna have to be a no for me. Yeah,
And can I tell you something else another big Oh,
(07:37):
You're not gonna ever be able to look at her
vagina without thinking about this conversation. So even if you
avoid directly looking at it at the time of the event,
you're still gonna hearken back to this call you made
on this fateful day, sir. Now, I'm glad you called me,
but I also wish you'd thought it through a little
(07:58):
bit more. When you put it that way, in almost
makes me feel like I have to go in there,
because if I'm gonna be thinking about it, I should
probably see you know, I should be at ground zero
and see what what goes down ground zero. Two things
about that good thing to call it, but have a
little respect, because I lost a lot of good men
and women. Let me ask you this. Have you ever
(08:20):
thought about nine eleven during intercourse? Well, yes you have,
but but yeah, that's a whole different issues, is it. Yeah,
because the reason I have is because as a kid,
you know, I would masturbate to the buscondo a more
Telemundo show, which was their their version of Blind Day,
and in the middle of I guess we'll say session,
(08:43):
they cut too because it was breaking news to announce
what was going on. So they had a nine eleven
in Mexico on the same day. Oh no, no, no,
this was the US nine eleven, but they thought to
alert Mexican viewers as well. Okay, but you're not Mexican. No,
but I was masturbated into this show to the show. Okay,
(09:06):
And how old were you at this time? And how
many times do you think total you've masturbated? Not often,
I'd say once every blue moon, just because it just
felt weird after that, like, I felt like there was
a lot of weight there. So yeah, well there is.
It was weird. It was weird that you were doing it.
You must have in some way even perhaps felt responsible
(09:28):
for it. Oh So this is what I do. This
is why I'm the doctor. People come to me with
one issue. I very quickly skirt around that issue until
we can squeeze our way into another issue, the real issue.
So I'm not saying you actually did cause it, but
(09:51):
I'm saying, in your mind, you're still holding yourself responsible
for nine eleven, which also means you're holding yourself responsible
for the invasion of Iraq, okay, m invasion of Afghanistan,
the USA Patriot Act, the rapid militarization of our local
police forces, the jingoistic environment that has led to countless
(10:15):
crimes against humanity, right, and also probably the show c
s I, which I think came in the wake of
nine eleven. Everything has been weird because of it. Well,
the next thing I want to say to you about it,
now that we've kind of figured out what's going on here,
is get over it. Man. It was a long time ago, bro,
(10:37):
you know what I mean? Yeah right, yeah. Now, I'm
not saying go back to masturbation, because I think if
there has been any silver lining in nine eleven, it's
getting you past that part in your life. But we've
got to get you away from here. Is this weird
desire you have to be intimate with your wife during
(11:00):
a time of pregnancy, which is a very private time
for a woman. That's between her and the child. Yeah,
you know what I mean. Andre, Thanks for your call.
I wish you the best of luck. Yeah know, goddamn it.
I this show is killing me. It is killing me
(11:21):
to do this show. This is my first caller. I'm
gonna take a break. I'm gonna say some prayers and uh,
we'll hear a word or two from our sponsor. So
one of my new sponsors this month, the birth Year
(11:41):
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(12:02):
month if you use promo code sex Reese. Okay. Our
next caller we have on the line is Lady by
the name of Martha. Martha, you're on the air with
Dr Robert sex Reese. That's me, Martha. You're on, Hi,
(12:23):
Doctor rees Um. I was just wondering if you could
tell me if there's a style of yoga that could
help my body prepare for giving birth. Um. I'm not
ready to have a child yet, but I know I
will be one day, and I just like from my
body to be ready for it. Okay, so you are
Do you currently practice yoga? Well? I did a few
(12:45):
years ago. I keep meaning to get back to it.
I can't recommend in a yoga to you. I can't
recommend a style. I can't even recommend the practice. Is
Is this the right show? Is this is the Doctor
Roberts sex re Show. Yeah. I personally tell all of
my clients, all of my listeners, avoid yoga, right. There's
(13:10):
just too many opportunities, not only for injury, but for
betrayal and for financial ruin. A lot of people out
there are running these yoga scams where they get you
in there and they tell you that this yoga is
going to finally open up your hip, that it's going
to relieve all that stress you've been carrying down there,
(13:30):
that it's going to make those headaches go away, and
that it's going to help with you know what I'm
talking about the bathroom time. And then when it doesn't
and you go back to the place and you tell
them that you've actually injured your bladder, guess what, the
place is closed up, shut down, as if it never existed.
(13:51):
Happened to Yes, it's happened to me, And it's happened
not just to me, It's happened to several other people.
I know. Everybody's all about yoga because five thousand years old.
Five thousand years is also a lot of time to
come up with scams, you know what I mean. So yeah,
I can't really recommend it, Martha, before you pull the
(14:13):
trigger on this baby thing. And I'm assuming you know
all the processes involved in all of the various fluids
and just how mired in the weeds you can get
from the from the point of sexual intercourse to the
point of the baby coming out. But I do want
to offer you something I have. It's called the Doctor
Sex Reiest Baby app Have you heard of it? Do
(14:33):
you have a smartphone? You might be able to find this.
It's not technically it's been scrubbed from the app store
for legal reasons that I'm not allowed to get into.
We could talk off air about them. Can I find
it on the dark web? You can find it in
the dark web very easily. Is that your dog? Yeah?
(14:54):
She doesn't like when I talk about the dark web.
They have some self with animals on it. Ye after Reese,
I'm still probably gonna have kids. I just probably won't
know the best type of yoga from my pregnancy body.
But is that really all you need to know here?
Because usually when people are calling me, there's something else
(15:15):
they're trying to get at. I get up on the
table and I do a little tap, I do a limbo,
I do a lambada, I do whatever it takes to
get at what you're really trying to say. But are
you just literally asking me what type of yoga to do?
I thought you might have. I thought maybe hot. Okay,
do the hot one. Then should I also have a
(15:38):
heated room for the delivery room when I give bar?
Can you imagine how sweaty Aren't you going to be
wet enough? I think you just do the hot yoga
to get yourself limber and ready, and then when you're
doing the birth itself. I want you I think you
want that thing as cold as possible, right, I don't
know if you want to cold, you don't. I don't
(15:58):
want my baby to come out and to a freezing
room and that's their first experience outside. What does it matter? Honestly?
People put so much emphasis on this idea of childhood development.
I was raised in the most horrifying environment, oppressive openness,
everybody so emotionally available at all times. Do you know
(16:24):
how hard that is to grow up in? And yet
here I am a successful sex therapist. I don't think
your kids slipping and sliding on a little birthing igloo
is going to affect them for for any significant period
of time. Is a birthing igglue something you can buy?
Like something you can you can rent it. It's the
(16:47):
same people who do the birth year. If you use
promo code reas get ten percent off and to free
replacement iglue bricks? Is that just ice? Is that with
the iglue brick s are dry ice? Yeah, that's what
the igloos are made of. Wouldn't that be toxic? Though?
I think when dry ice is melting, the chemicals coming
(17:09):
off it are toxic. Once you crack open the igloo,
you have to basically give birth in the next ninety minutes.
It's not only embracing the Inuit style of birth, which,
as we know, they have the lowest infant mortality rate.
It also kind of speeds along the process itself because
you know your body knows you have ninety minutes to
get this done. I might actually like that because my
(17:31):
mom was in labor for almost twenty four hours and
it doesn't doesn't sound like fun. Yeah. See, I would
be more willing to bet that your mom is still
extremely upset with you for that, more so than a
baby being upset that his little buck got cold on
a birthing igloo. Like I bet, I think you probably
have something to work out with your mom. Well, my
(17:53):
mom passed away three years ago, so I can't ask her.
But as far as I know, I mean, we were
pretty close, so I don't think she was mad about that.
I don't know. I guess you're never going to know, though.
Can we agree now that I've provided you with an
important service, is there any way that you could google
(18:16):
different types of yoga and the birth process and then
you could tell me I'm going to google that right now.
Best yoga for pregnancy? All right, it's called butts, boobs
and babies. Look them up. It's a it's a yoga spot.
I guess they accept all types. I just wouldn't give
(18:40):
out my social Security number to them. If I were you,
I would get Yeah, I would spend a lot of
time actually making sure that you have a burner identity.
You can just if you need to disappear, you can
just disappear. Can I use the same one that I
use on the dark Web? Or should I make it
a different one? I think you could probably use the
(19:01):
same one. I wouldn't go through all that trouble. All right,
all right, Martha, Okay, thanks Drs Satisfied Yes Singing got
another satisfied customer. Drilling with Jenny host Jenny Mark, who
which believes that the best moments are those shared while
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(19:23):
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Joined Jenny in their special guest every week as they
drill into live's problems. Thank you for saying you're drilling
Withdow with me Drilling with Jenny every Wednesday, started at
(19:46):
four o'clock in the morning and ended when they were
the drilling is done. Before we move on, I wanna
think what of our sponsors birth Bounce. It's the trampoline
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now with the birth Bounce not available in North America,
(20:09):
I think our friends at the Birth Bounce. You know,
it's been a wild ride of a show today talking
about birth, a topic I've avoided for years. Um, but
what goes around, I guess comes around. Let's get to it.
Let's get right into it. I'm here to help people.
People want to be helped. Let's take it to our
next caller. We have someone by the name of Jeff F.
(20:31):
Welcome Jeff. You're talking to Dr Robert sex Reese. How
can I help you? Mr? F. Jeff? Oh well, I
was actually a little surprised I got through. What's your question,
my friend, Jeff F. Is there a scenario where a
man can produce an offspring without UH intercourse? Does that
(20:57):
make sense? It does make sense. Yeah, you can do
artificial They come and collect the seed from the mail. Okay,
second question, yes or no question from you? Dr Reese?
Have you donated your sperm? Or have you have you
done this procedure in your own life? Jeff F what's
the F stand for? If I might ask? You're not
(21:20):
answering my question. Have you had the procedure? I've never No,
I have not donated sperm. Ask you another third question?
Now does the name Amy Reese ring a bell? Amy
Reese two years old? Is there something I can answer
for you? Is there a way I can help you
with whatever is going on? Your daughter? Is this your
is your daughter? Amy Reese? Do you have a daughter?
(21:40):
In fact, no, I do not have a I do
not have any Why is there a Reddit subpage titled
reddit dot com slash are slash Reese facts that provides
a thread and a number of here we go, here
we go. Every couple of months, these guys come slithering
(22:02):
out of the woodwork. We have a birth certificate, we
have college Can you cut college records? We have next documents.
Amy Reese from two thousand fourteen worked at a TCB y.
Do you know what a tc B Y is t
the Country's best yogurt? Of course I know a tc
(22:23):
B Y is. They've been a sponsor of the show
for many years. In the previous iterations, what is your
relationship which I have had lunch with the vice president
of market. I have never heard the name Amy Reese
in my life. Is she or is she not your daughter? No,
(22:44):
she's not my daughter. It's impossible for me to have
a daughter. How Why is there evidence that that? Why
is there DNA evidence? I just let them talk. These guys,
they come out of the woodwork. So what else? What
else are you still? Am I still a Satanist? I
have no I have no knowledge of that, sir. I
have no knowledge of your involvement with any occults or anything.
(23:06):
Jeff f. I The thing about this is I cannot
cut You'll continue to speak. I will continue to speak
my mind and let the audience know that you are
a complete fraud. And I don't even know if we
can call you a doctor anymore, because when we look
at Amy Reese, the proof is in the pudding, and
it was your pudding, sir, that gave Okay, JEFFF are
(23:29):
you drinking right now? No, sir, I am not. I'm
I'm drinking. But it is a pop. It is a
carbonated beverage. Squeaking of a bottle and what sounded to
me like the weight of an alcohol type of bottle
being put down on a on a desk, which would
explain the insane ram. It is not insane, sir, that
I've been sitting is not insane for the last however
(23:52):
many minutes. I thought it would be interesting to your
audience to know that you're not being factual and not
being candid with them when you claim to not have
a jack sculated, you claim not to have impregnated or
used your sperm or semen for reproduction in the past.
We have a deposition from the daughter's mother, whose identity
is going to remain anonymous, but the woman is on
(24:13):
record saying that she can identify a scar on your perennium, know,
and I guess as that you can call it the
taint or whatever he's She's also stated, and this is
is on the record, and this is under oath. The
mother says that she fell in love with quote the
greatest sex therapist of all times. So okay, that's on record.
(24:36):
That's just something that's been certified on yes, yes, yeah,
this is like I said, you're not listening, Jeff f
You're not the first insane person that I've come up against.
It started with my mom and my doctor. If you
want to maintain your integrity and maintain your relationship with
your audience, that you do what you can to establish
(24:57):
a relationship with Amy Reaves and let the audience snow
that you are in fact a loving father and you
care about her, because otherwise I don't see how you
are in any position to give any advice to anyone.
Thank you, Okay, thanks for your call. Goodbye, hang up
now I am unable to hang up. I don't have
that function on my phone, sir. Are you on a
headset on a bluetooth tame? Yes, I have locked myself
(25:21):
in my craft room. Unfortunately, the phone itself, the device
itself is in the other room, and I am with
the bluetooth, so we have no way to end this call.
Can you take the headset off so you're not hearing
what you're saying? Thank you for your call, Jeff F,
Jeff F. Are you there trying to make sure nothing? Nothing?
(25:48):
I was just making sure I heard my name through
because the volume is set up fairly loud. So is
there anything else you wanted to know? I'm hoping you're
gonna figure how to get out of your craft room.
I don't know if you live alone or not. I'm
guessing you live alone, sir. I have I am proud
to say that I am a father and I have
(26:08):
a family. I have a family of four four total
of four kids. I have a wife and three children.
A family of four plus you would make a total
of five. But you're you're part of the family. I
have a family of four. We are a family of five.
I don't know what's not making sense about that. No,
it makes sense when you put it that way. Why
(26:30):
don't you tell us where you are and we will
have someone come to you to get the phone hung
up in Madison, Wisconsin. We're outside Madison, Wisconsin. That's not
far direct address. If you'd like, I can describe the
area in non specific terms. Let's do that. Then. Are
(26:52):
you on a hill, no, sir. Are you on the
isthmus No, sir. We are in a four bed room
ranch with a detached garage, no fence. But we have
a mailbox that says the Flynns on it. That's not
(27:15):
in three years ago. We have yet to change the um. Yeah,
we haven't changed the settings on the mailbox. What if
I gave you my wife's contact information, would you be
able to reach out to her. You know what, Jeff
f zapp her number to me and then I'll get
ahold of her. All right, hold on, I'm gonna give
it a call. I'll do it. What's your wife's name?
(27:38):
When I get like Andy McDowell, I know, not like
Andy Rooney? I know? Hello? Is this Andy? Dr Sex reies?
Dr Robert Sex asked her to open the door. Could
you open the door to the craft not called the
craft room, it's the seller Because he's down there, Jeff
(27:59):
is My phone's upstairs in the kitchen. His phone's upstairs
in the kitchen. He's on a headset. He sounds hungry,
and he sounds like he needs to get it. Hey,
I'm just drinking pop. He's drinking pop in the cellar
and sorry. The reason it's my business is because of
the way my I'm a radio host and the way
(28:22):
our control panel is set up. I can't I can't disconnect.
He's calling into my show, yes, and I can't disconnect.
He has to do it, and he's in the cellar.
Put my headset down, but then I heard my name.
I put it back on. Han. He put the headset down,
but then he heard his name and put it back on. Han.
She said it's going to take a minute. She's still there.
(28:44):
It passed on that. No, I you're out of birch
beer down here? Did you say birch beer? Okay, I
actually have an amazing Uh you know, I'll just I'll
text the info to your wife. This isn't the time. Hey, Actually,
you know what I got this. There's a little button
here on this side of this bluetooth headset. I haven't
really played with it before. Let me see if I
(29:04):
press it, if that changes, if I hang up or whatever.
Press it? Yeah, Jeff F Jeff F. I think the
bluetooth thing worked, and I think we need to take
a break. All right, let me take a minute to think.
(29:27):
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we thank them for their support. Okay, folks, that's gonna
about do it for this episode of the show. I
just want to apologize for that last caller and let
you know that that is not the kind of thing
that happens around here. If you're new to the show,
(30:33):
don't want you to get that impression. If you're older
the show, you know that should not be happening. Had
a quick word with our producer, Shelley. She's been adequately
chided and will make improvements to to our screening system
from here on out. Uh So, to reiterate, we're back
(30:54):
better than ever. I do not have a daughter, and
I am here to help you on The Doctor Sex
Reese Show. And until next time, keep your mind open
and your eyes closed. We will see you with all
of your sexual problems next time. Make sure to rate, review,
(31:22):
and subscribe to The Doctor Sex re Show wherever you
listen to your favorite podcasts.
Make sure to subscribe, rate, and review The Doctor Sex
re Show wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. On
today's episode of The Doctor Sex re Show, we discuss
who's allowed in the delivery room, how to get your
body baby ready, and a frisky caller has some personal
(00:22):
questions for the doctor. And Now The Doctor Sex Reese
Show with your host, Dr Robert sex Reese. This is
the Doctor Robert Sex re Show. I'm Dr Robert sex Reese.
How can I help you today? Every caller that calls me,
(00:42):
I take as it's me or them. I don't like
that either. Honestly, now that I'm hearing it come from you,
I'm very excited to talk about this. Can you give
me a second. I'm choking on a walnut. You know
you're on the air, and we just put aside our
differences and agree that I was right, very impatient to
hear your question, but also living in fear of it.
I'm throwing when gems at you and you just keep
dropping them in the river. My situation is, I'm doing
(01:04):
what I love. I'm free from human touch, and I'm
here to give what I have to you. And welcome, Welcome,
Welcome to the Doctor sex Rees Show. I am your host,
Doctor Robert sex Reese, the only sex therapy radio host
in America who has never had sex. As you know,
(01:26):
we had a little, a little bit of a break
from the show. There are some legal reasons for that,
there are some social reasons from that, there are some
emotional reasons for that. We can get into it at
another time. The point is we got a new lease
on life. We've got a new producer named Shelley. Very
excited to have Shelly waves. Shelly. I can see her waving,
you cannot. She's got a great background and news I
(01:48):
believe is that right news? And I think she's gonna
bring a fresh perspective to the show, hopefully not as
obsessed with sex as some of the previous producers have been.
I know that's been a point of contention with callers, uh,
some of whom want the show to be about nothing
but sex, and of course that's something I try to avoid.
Oh and just a little technical note here, we're having
(02:11):
kind of an issue with our soundboard. It does not
allow us to disengage a call. So pretty cool. That's
a that's a pretty cool feature to come back to.
Let's hear from our first caller. We have Andre on
the line. Today's topic is birth human birth. As it
turns out, Andre, how can I help you? Oh? Thank
(02:32):
you so much. You know, my wife's getting ready to
give birth right and and you know, I hear that
when you see that baby born before you, it's a
life changing experience, and obviously I want that. But then
I also heard you know, when you see that baby
come out, it also you know, changes things in the bedroom.
(02:54):
And me and my wife we who I mean, you
would think we're like rabbits, because we are are. We
just can't stay off of each other. We love. I
think you should have called to ask me about four
play because you just jumped into this call hammering me.
Oh yeah, I just didn't. I didn't want to waste
your time. I just want to give Why don't you
(03:15):
let me decide who's wasting time? Okay, I am the doctor. Okay,
unless you are a doctor. No I'm not. It wouldn't
matter if you were. It's still my show. But let's
slow it down. You're married, m hm. And then what happened?
I forgot everything else. You know, my wife was pregnant
and we're getting close. First child, first you know. She
(03:38):
she said she wants me in there to hold her hand.
But she said, it's totally cool. It's totally fine. Where
anywhere too much in the in the delivery room, inside
the room. Yeah, inside the room while the baby's coming out.
Oh yeah, okay, Well we can't do that. What other
question do you have? Well, yeah, that's the question if
(03:59):
I'm not doing it, and that's the end of the question.
But I mean, if I am doing it, you know,
I just wanted to know, you know, if if you
had any tips to you know, keep my mind scintillated.
You don't have to wait a minute. You want to
keep scintillated. Yeah, I just want to keep my brain
scintillated because I would during the birth, well after the birth,
I just I feel like I won't be able to
(04:19):
look out of vagina the same. Well, that's true. That's
a big problem you're going to have. Let me ask
you this. Do you love your wife? Yeah? I mean
we're talking about four players earlier, and I you know,
at a moment's notice, I'm ready to give. That doesn't
mean that doesn't mean love. That's something that's some desire
(04:42):
inside of you that's not being met. Probably something to
do with something having to do with your diet when
you were a child. Did you eat a lot of
fruit as a child. Yeah, I'm a big fan of
apples with cinnamon. That's cool. You raw? You put it
on their raw? Do you bake it? I'd put it
on their raw? Wow? And you don't call for anything
from the from the because I've true, I'll let the
(05:04):
moisture of the apple kind of I like to call
it a natty bake, can naturally bake? Do you slice
them up and then grind it over? Well, I slice
it up and then I sprinkle it over you. Okay,
you're not doing from a cinnamon stick. You're getting from
the store, bought mccormicks or something. Yeah, I can definitely
use mccormie. You like to give things nicknames? Huh? Is
this why you want to have a kid? I like?
(05:25):
I like I like nicknames and like shortening things and think,
you know, honestly, I think it's kind of cool. Andre agree.
I agree with you there, And it's something I've always
wanted to be able to do and I've never been
able to do it. But the point I'm trying to
make is this, if you love your wife. You will
not be in that room with her when her the
(05:46):
g I not explodes from the birth of the baby. Honestly,
you know, I kind of don't know. I don't know
if I if I if I want to be in there,
because you know, some people say it's a life changing experience.
It is. Oh, so you're so I should know. You know,
you hear life changing experience and you think positive, right, yes,
(06:08):
But there's a lot of life changing experiences that are
not positive. Death is a life changing experience. Life changing
experience could include going death from a train accident. I
feel like typically when people say life changing experience, they
mean it's usually meant in a positive way. Yeah, well
that's what I'm saying. It usually is, but it's not always.
(06:29):
I gave two examples death and deafness through a loud
train accident. So what's the problem. You don't You just
don't want to. You want to stop making love to
your wife. You feel like you're doing it too much? No, No,
I I think I'm doing it enough. I I mean
I'm ready to get back in it. You know, right
now we're having regular sex. I heard it helps helps,
(06:51):
what you know, with the with the birth canal, keeping
it you know worked out. No, that's not true. First
of all, birth can is a myth. That's a term
they came up with years ago off the success of
the Erie Canal, when everything was all about canals. They
were trying to canal everything Root canal, Erie Canal, birth canal.
(07:14):
You could go on canal rides, there were canal chocolate bars.
Channels used to be called canals, Canal five, canal six,
canal seven. Yeah, I just want to know if I
should probably step in that with her. But I mean,
based on everything that you've said right now, I think
it's gonna have to be a no for me. Yeah,
And can I tell you something else another big Oh,
(07:37):
You're not gonna ever be able to look at her
vagina without thinking about this conversation. So even if you
avoid directly looking at it at the time of the event,
you're still gonna hearken back to this call you made
on this fateful day, sir. Now, I'm glad you called me,
but I also wish you'd thought it through a little
(07:58):
bit more. When you put it that way, in almost
makes me feel like I have to go in there,
because if I'm gonna be thinking about it, I should
probably see you know, I should be at ground zero
and see what what goes down ground zero. Two things
about that good thing to call it, but have a
little respect, because I lost a lot of good men
and women. Let me ask you this. Have you ever
(08:20):
thought about nine eleven during intercourse? Well, yes you have,
but but yeah, that's a whole different issues, is it. Yeah,
because the reason I have is because as a kid,
you know, I would masturbate to the buscondo a more
Telemundo show, which was their their version of Blind Day,
and in the middle of I guess we'll say session,
(08:43):
they cut too because it was breaking news to announce
what was going on. So they had a nine eleven
in Mexico on the same day. Oh no, no, no,
this was the US nine eleven, but they thought to
alert Mexican viewers as well. Okay, but you're not Mexican. No,
but I was masturbated into this show to the show. Okay,
(09:06):
And how old were you at this time? And how
many times do you think total you've masturbated? Not often,
I'd say once every blue moon, just because it just
felt weird after that, like, I felt like there was
a lot of weight there. So yeah, well there is.
It was weird. It was weird that you were doing it.
You must have in some way even perhaps felt responsible
(09:28):
for it. Oh So this is what I do. This
is why I'm the doctor. People come to me with
one issue. I very quickly skirt around that issue until
we can squeeze our way into another issue, the real issue.
So I'm not saying you actually did cause it, but
(09:51):
I'm saying, in your mind, you're still holding yourself responsible
for nine eleven, which also means you're holding yourself responsible
for the invasion of Iraq, okay, m invasion of Afghanistan,
the USA Patriot Act, the rapid militarization of our local
police forces, the jingoistic environment that has led to countless
(10:15):
crimes against humanity, right, and also probably the show c
s I, which I think came in the wake of
nine eleven. Everything has been weird because of it. Well,
the next thing I want to say to you about it,
now that we've kind of figured out what's going on here,
is get over it. Man. It was a long time ago, bro,
(10:37):
you know what I mean? Yeah right, yeah. Now, I'm
not saying go back to masturbation, because I think if
there has been any silver lining in nine eleven, it's
getting you past that part in your life. But we've
got to get you away from here. Is this weird
desire you have to be intimate with your wife during
(11:00):
a time of pregnancy, which is a very private time
for a woman. That's between her and the child. Yeah,
you know what I mean. Andre, Thanks for your call.
I wish you the best of luck. Yeah know, goddamn it.
I this show is killing me. It is killing me
(11:21):
to do this show. This is my first caller. I'm
gonna take a break. I'm gonna say some prayers and uh,
we'll hear a word or two from our sponsor. So
one of my new sponsors this month, the birth Year
(11:41):
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(12:02):
month if you use promo code sex Reese. Okay. Our
next caller we have on the line is Lady by
the name of Martha. Martha, you're on the air with
Dr Robert sex Reese. That's me, Martha. You're on, Hi,
(12:23):
Doctor rees Um. I was just wondering if you could
tell me if there's a style of yoga that could
help my body prepare for giving birth. Um. I'm not
ready to have a child yet, but I know I
will be one day, and I just like from my
body to be ready for it. Okay, so you are
Do you currently practice yoga? Well? I did a few
(12:45):
years ago. I keep meaning to get back to it.
I can't recommend in a yoga to you. I can't
recommend a style. I can't even recommend the practice. Is
Is this the right show? Is this is the Doctor
Roberts sex re Show. Yeah. I personally tell all of
my clients, all of my listeners, avoid yoga, right. There's
(13:10):
just too many opportunities, not only for injury, but for
betrayal and for financial ruin. A lot of people out
there are running these yoga scams where they get you
in there and they tell you that this yoga is
going to finally open up your hip, that it's going
to relieve all that stress you've been carrying down there,
(13:30):
that it's going to make those headaches go away, and
that it's going to help with you know what I'm
talking about the bathroom time. And then when it doesn't
and you go back to the place and you tell
them that you've actually injured your bladder, guess what, the
place is closed up, shut down, as if it never existed.
(13:51):
Happened to Yes, it's happened to me, And it's happened
not just to me, It's happened to several other people.
I know. Everybody's all about yoga because five thousand years old.
Five thousand years is also a lot of time to
come up with scams, you know what I mean. So yeah,
I can't really recommend it, Martha, before you pull the
(14:13):
trigger on this baby thing. And I'm assuming you know
all the processes involved in all of the various fluids
and just how mired in the weeds you can get
from the from the point of sexual intercourse to the
point of the baby coming out. But I do want
to offer you something I have. It's called the Doctor
Sex Reiest Baby app Have you heard of it? Do
(14:33):
you have a smartphone? You might be able to find this.
It's not technically it's been scrubbed from the app store
for legal reasons that I'm not allowed to get into.
We could talk off air about them. Can I find
it on the dark web? You can find it in
the dark web very easily. Is that your dog? Yeah?
(14:54):
She doesn't like when I talk about the dark web.
They have some self with animals on it. Ye after Reese,
I'm still probably gonna have kids. I just probably won't
know the best type of yoga from my pregnancy body.
But is that really all you need to know here?
Because usually when people are calling me, there's something else
(15:15):
they're trying to get at. I get up on the
table and I do a little tap, I do a limbo,
I do a lambada, I do whatever it takes to
get at what you're really trying to say. But are
you just literally asking me what type of yoga to do?
I thought you might have. I thought maybe hot. Okay,
do the hot one. Then should I also have a
(15:38):
heated room for the delivery room when I give bar?
Can you imagine how sweaty Aren't you going to be
wet enough? I think you just do the hot yoga
to get yourself limber and ready, and then when you're
doing the birth itself. I want you I think you
want that thing as cold as possible, right, I don't
know if you want to cold, you don't. I don't
(15:58):
want my baby to come out and to a freezing
room and that's their first experience outside. What does it matter? Honestly?
People put so much emphasis on this idea of childhood development.
I was raised in the most horrifying environment, oppressive openness,
everybody so emotionally available at all times. Do you know
(16:24):
how hard that is to grow up in? And yet
here I am a successful sex therapist. I don't think
your kids slipping and sliding on a little birthing igloo
is going to affect them for for any significant period
of time. Is a birthing igglue something you can buy?
Like something you can you can rent it. It's the
(16:47):
same people who do the birth year. If you use
promo code reas get ten percent off and to free
replacement iglue bricks? Is that just ice? Is that with
the iglue brick s are dry ice? Yeah, that's what
the igloos are made of. Wouldn't that be toxic? Though?
I think when dry ice is melting, the chemicals coming
(17:09):
off it are toxic. Once you crack open the igloo,
you have to basically give birth in the next ninety minutes.
It's not only embracing the Inuit style of birth, which,
as we know, they have the lowest infant mortality rate.
It also kind of speeds along the process itself because
you know your body knows you have ninety minutes to
get this done. I might actually like that because my
(17:31):
mom was in labor for almost twenty four hours and
it doesn't doesn't sound like fun. Yeah. See, I would
be more willing to bet that your mom is still
extremely upset with you for that, more so than a
baby being upset that his little buck got cold on
a birthing igloo. Like I bet, I think you probably
have something to work out with your mom. Well, my
(17:53):
mom passed away three years ago, so I can't ask her.
But as far as I know, I mean, we were
pretty close, so I don't think she was mad about that.
I don't know. I guess you're never going to know, though.
Can we agree now that I've provided you with an
important service, is there any way that you could google
(18:16):
different types of yoga and the birth process and then
you could tell me I'm going to google that right now.
Best yoga for pregnancy? All right, it's called butts, boobs
and babies. Look them up. It's a it's a yoga spot.
I guess they accept all types. I just wouldn't give
(18:40):
out my social Security number to them. If I were you,
I would get Yeah, I would spend a lot of
time actually making sure that you have a burner identity.
You can just if you need to disappear, you can
just disappear. Can I use the same one that I
use on the dark Web? Or should I make it
a different one? I think you could probably use the
(19:01):
same one. I wouldn't go through all that trouble. All right,
all right, Martha, Okay, thanks Drs Satisfied Yes Singing got
another satisfied customer. Drilling with Jenny host Jenny Mark, who
which believes that the best moments are those shared while
screaming over the sounds of power tools. The trick with
(19:23):
Jelly Yeah Records is drilling slid Us They Don't Shutter.
Joined Jenny in their special guest every week as they
drill into live's problems. Thank you for saying you're drilling
Withdow with me Drilling with Jenny every Wednesday, started at
(19:46):
four o'clock in the morning and ended when they were
the drilling is done. Before we move on, I wanna
think what of our sponsors birth Bounce. It's the trampoline
you give birth on. Get that baby out now now
now with the birth Bounce not available in North America,
(20:09):
I think our friends at the Birth Bounce. You know,
it's been a wild ride of a show today talking
about birth, a topic I've avoided for years. Um, but
what goes around, I guess comes around. Let's get to it.
Let's get right into it. I'm here to help people.
People want to be helped. Let's take it to our
next caller. We have someone by the name of Jeff F.
(20:31):
Welcome Jeff. You're talking to Dr Robert sex Reese. How
can I help you? Mr? F. Jeff? Oh well, I
was actually a little surprised I got through. What's your question,
my friend, Jeff F. Is there a scenario where a
man can produce an offspring without UH intercourse? Does that
(20:57):
make sense? It does make sense. Yeah, you can do
artificial They come and collect the seed from the mail. Okay,
second question, yes or no question from you? Dr Reese?
Have you donated your sperm? Or have you have you
done this procedure in your own life? Jeff F what's
the F stand for? If I might ask? You're not
(21:20):
answering my question. Have you had the procedure? I've never No,
I have not donated sperm. Ask you another third question?
Now does the name Amy Reese ring a bell? Amy
Reese two years old? Is there something I can answer
for you? Is there a way I can help you
with whatever is going on? Your daughter? Is this your
is your daughter? Amy Reese? Do you have a daughter?
(21:40):
In fact, no, I do not have a I do
not have any Why is there a Reddit subpage titled
reddit dot com slash are slash Reese facts that provides
a thread and a number of here we go, here
we go. Every couple of months, these guys come slithering
(22:02):
out of the woodwork. We have a birth certificate, we
have college Can you cut college records? We have next documents.
Amy Reese from two thousand fourteen worked at a TCB y.
Do you know what a tc B Y is t
the Country's best yogurt? Of course I know a tc
(22:23):
B Y is. They've been a sponsor of the show
for many years. In the previous iterations, what is your
relationship which I have had lunch with the vice president
of market. I have never heard the name Amy Reese
in my life. Is she or is she not your daughter? No,
(22:44):
she's not my daughter. It's impossible for me to have
a daughter. How Why is there evidence that that? Why
is there DNA evidence? I just let them talk. These guys,
they come out of the woodwork. So what else? What
else are you still? Am I still a Satanist? I
have no I have no knowledge of that, sir. I
have no knowledge of your involvement with any occults or anything.
(23:06):
Jeff f. I The thing about this is I cannot
cut You'll continue to speak. I will continue to speak
my mind and let the audience know that you are
a complete fraud. And I don't even know if we
can call you a doctor anymore, because when we look
at Amy Reese, the proof is in the pudding, and
it was your pudding, sir, that gave Okay, JEFFF are
(23:29):
you drinking right now? No, sir, I am not. I'm
I'm drinking. But it is a pop. It is a
carbonated beverage. Squeaking of a bottle and what sounded to
me like the weight of an alcohol type of bottle
being put down on a on a desk, which would
explain the insane ram. It is not insane, sir, that
I've been sitting is not insane for the last however
(23:52):
many minutes. I thought it would be interesting to your
audience to know that you're not being factual and not
being candid with them when you claim to not have
a jack sculated, you claim not to have impregnated or
used your sperm or semen for reproduction in the past.
We have a deposition from the daughter's mother, whose identity
is going to remain anonymous, but the woman is on
(24:13):
record saying that she can identify a scar on your perennium, know,
and I guess as that you can call it the
taint or whatever he's She's also stated, and this is
is on the record, and this is under oath. The
mother says that she fell in love with quote the
greatest sex therapist of all times. So okay, that's on record.
(24:36):
That's just something that's been certified on yes, yes, yeah,
this is like I said, you're not listening, Jeff f
You're not the first insane person that I've come up against.
It started with my mom and my doctor. If you
want to maintain your integrity and maintain your relationship with
your audience, that you do what you can to establish
(24:57):
a relationship with Amy Reaves and let the audience snow
that you are in fact a loving father and you
care about her, because otherwise I don't see how you
are in any position to give any advice to anyone.
Thank you, Okay, thanks for your call. Goodbye, hang up
now I am unable to hang up. I don't have
that function on my phone, sir. Are you on a
headset on a bluetooth tame? Yes, I have locked myself
(25:21):
in my craft room. Unfortunately, the phone itself, the device
itself is in the other room, and I am with
the bluetooth, so we have no way to end this call.
Can you take the headset off so you're not hearing
what you're saying? Thank you for your call, Jeff F,
Jeff F. Are you there trying to make sure nothing? Nothing?
(25:48):
I was just making sure I heard my name through
because the volume is set up fairly loud. So is
there anything else you wanted to know? I'm hoping you're
gonna figure how to get out of your craft room.
I don't know if you live alone or not. I'm
guessing you live alone, sir. I have I am proud
to say that I am a father and I have
(26:08):
a family. I have a family of four four total
of four kids. I have a wife and three children.
A family of four plus you would make a total
of five. But you're you're part of the family. I
have a family of four. We are a family of five.
I don't know what's not making sense about that. No,
it makes sense when you put it that way. Why
(26:30):
don't you tell us where you are and we will
have someone come to you to get the phone hung
up in Madison, Wisconsin. We're outside Madison, Wisconsin. That's not
far direct address. If you'd like, I can describe the
area in non specific terms. Let's do that. Then. Are
(26:52):
you on a hill, no, sir. Are you on the
isthmus No, sir. We are in a four bed room
ranch with a detached garage, no fence. But we have
a mailbox that says the Flynns on it. That's not
(27:15):
in three years ago. We have yet to change the um. Yeah,
we haven't changed the settings on the mailbox. What if
I gave you my wife's contact information, would you be
able to reach out to her. You know what, Jeff
f zapp her number to me and then I'll get
ahold of her. All right, hold on, I'm gonna give
it a call. I'll do it. What's your wife's name?
(27:38):
When I get like Andy McDowell, I know, not like
Andy Rooney? I know? Hello? Is this Andy? Dr Sex reies?
Dr Robert Sex asked her to open the door. Could
you open the door to the craft not called the
craft room, it's the seller Because he's down there, Jeff
(27:59):
is My phone's upstairs in the kitchen. His phone's upstairs
in the kitchen. He's on a headset. He sounds hungry,
and he sounds like he needs to get it. Hey,
I'm just drinking pop. He's drinking pop in the cellar
and sorry. The reason it's my business is because of
the way my I'm a radio host and the way
(28:22):
our control panel is set up. I can't I can't disconnect.
He's calling into my show, yes, and I can't disconnect.
He has to do it, and he's in the cellar.
Put my headset down, but then I heard my name.
I put it back on. Han. He put the headset down,
but then he heard his name and put it back on. Han.
She said it's going to take a minute. She's still there.
(28:44):
It passed on that. No, I you're out of birch
beer down here? Did you say birch beer? Okay, I
actually have an amazing Uh you know, I'll just I'll
text the info to your wife. This isn't the time. Hey, Actually,
you know what I got this. There's a little button
here on this side of this bluetooth headset. I haven't
really played with it before. Let me see if I
(29:04):
press it, if that changes, if I hang up or whatever.
Press it? Yeah, Jeff F Jeff F. I think the
bluetooth thing worked, and I think we need to take
a break. All right, let me take a minute to think.
(29:27):
One of our sponsors, Dr Giggle Smith's Novelty Ultrasound. Now,
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we thank them for their support. Okay, folks, that's gonna
about do it for this episode of the show. I
just want to apologize for that last caller and let
you know that that is not the kind of thing
that happens around here. If you're new to the show,
(30:33):
don't want you to get that impression. If you're older
the show, you know that should not be happening. Had
a quick word with our producer, Shelley. She's been adequately
chided and will make improvements to to our screening system
from here on out. Uh So, to reiterate, we're back
(30:54):
better than ever. I do not have a daughter, and
I am here to help you on The Doctor Sex
Reese Show. And until next time, keep your mind open
and your eyes closed. We will see you with all
of your sexual problems next time. Make sure to rate, review,
(31:22):
and subscribe to The Doctor Sex re Show wherever you
listen to your favorite podcasts.
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