October 28, 2025 • 38 mins
Welcome to our two-part series on Carry The Load - a month-long event culminating in Dallas, Texas on Memorial Day. Memorial Day is in May, but for many people like Jacob, Ashley and the whole One Tribe family, honoring those who lost their lives in service of the United States of America is an everyday experience. And no two of those days are the same. Our episodes on Honoring The Fallen strive to reflect the evolving nature of memorializing those that have passed by taking you not only into the Carry The Load event itself, but into the minds and hearts of veterans, friends, parents and spouses of those that paid the ultimate sacrifice. Part One of Two.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome the season two of The Good Stuff. I'm Ashley Schick,
and I'm joined by my husband and co host, Jacob Schick,
a third generation combat marine and CEO of One Tribe Foundation.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ashley also comes from a family rich in military history,
and we've dedicated our lives to One Tribes, mission serving veterans,
first responders, and their families. We're coming to you from Dallas,
so welcome to Texas.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And joining us all season long from Los Angeles, California
is our West Coast long haired friend and producer of
The Good Stuff, Nick Cassolini.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
What's up, guys, Welcome to the first episode of a
two part series about Carry the Load, speaking simply, Carry
the Load is a huge Memorial Day event that culminates
here in Dallas, Texas, and, as you'll discover over the
course of these episodes, its significance is truly monumental to
the people who participate, from active duty military to veterans,
(00:50):
to family members and spouses of those who lost their
lives serving this country, to the random civilian just checking
it out. Carry the Load is truly a one of
a kind way to spend Memoria a day, weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The care of the load evolution happens every May or
Memorial May, as we call it, and so this episode
is probably gonna drop who knows when, but probably nowhere
near Memorial May. And we don't care that it's oh well,
it's not May. We don't give We honor and remember
the legacies of these men and women and their families
(01:21):
every single day. It doesn't take a day that that
our government designates, okay, today you need to honor.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Remember.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, we don't give two dams. It is what it is,
and it still means so much to us. Whether it
drops in May or it drops in October, it has
the absolute same meaning to us. We would encourage all
of our listeners that listen to this in a time
that is not Memorial May to just take it at
(01:51):
face value and listen to it and then internalize it,
because I promise you it'll make an impact if you
really really dig into it. Don't let that get in
the way of your intellectual mobility, please.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Jake, thank you very much for that. For our beautiful
listeners out there. This is just a quick heads up.
This show can explore some heavy subject matter, including talks
of suicide, so listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
We couldn't be happier.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You're here again. Welcome to the good stuff, Jake.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Mister Jacob Shick, I'd love to hear in your words
from your heart, what Memorial Day is and what it's about.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Memorial Day is a day to honor and remember all
the men and women that gave their lives in service
to this country and for the sake of freedom. I
think I can go as far to say, like, that's
not just what I think, that's what Memorial Day is.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And there's a big difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
Veterans Day is in November. That's a happy day where
we think veterans for their service. Memorial Day is an May.
That's a day that we honor and remember our fallen.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And not necessarily it's not a happy day, I mean, but.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
It's a day of remembrance. James Sex.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Here today.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
Once again.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
We want to welth have everyone to be carried the
Load our Dallas Memorial of Artsy five.
Speaker 7 (03:30):
I was so excited to have everybody.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Here today, Ashley. Will you tell me what carry the
Load is.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Carry the Load is an incredible event that was founded
fourteen years ago that really allows individuals, whether they're civilians
or gold Star families or veterans, first responders, law enforcement
officers and their families to come together and truly honor
and celebrate and remember our fallen. It's what that day
(03:56):
and that month was intended for. And it is a
purpose filled, soul feeding event that brings like minded individuals
together to honor and remember the sacrifice of those who
paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And what are some of the actual nuts and bolts
of what people do at carry the load?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You know? The idea is that you come together to
carry the load for them because they can no longer
carry it for us. They've paid the ultimate price and
it was expensive, but we walk to honor and remember them.
Some people carry rocksacks, some people carry mementos in their
backpack or on their backpack. Some people carry stones with
(04:37):
you know, those that they've lost, names inside of them.
You know. It is a great event culminating in Dallas
at Reversham Park where they have the bounce houses and
the food trucks and the field of flags for each
of those that have lost their life, as well as
the storyboards that line the trail on Katie trail in
each each of those storyboards telling the story of a
(04:58):
life of a family, of generations of people who were
affected by their service and their sacrifice.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
Without further ado, mister Clint Bruce.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Well, good afternoon, and I know we're chomping at the
bit getting ready to go, but I just wanted to
tell you. I was standing in the back and then
Steven asked me to come up here. And I'm so
proud every time I get a chance to do this
because Steven and I and some of these early members
can remember when the week before the very first Carry
the Load, it was about forty eight people had signed
up in thirty seven of them were related to Steven,
(05:34):
and uh, he's got a big family. That would have
been the whole family. But to see where it is now.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
My name is Don Nunn, formerly staffs are in the
United States Marine Corps. I am a founding member of
One Tried Foundation formerly known as twenty two Kill. We
have been involved with Terry the Load for over ten
years now.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
One of my favorite things about this, and maybe hard
for you to tell it because you're out there, but
about eighty percent of the men and women here great
American citizens, maybe only twenty twenty five percent of people
here are veterans, and one of the reasons the veterans
get up says, we think people don't care that we
lost our friends. But I promise you it is impossible
for you to continue to think that if you simply
look around.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So to the.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Seventy eighty per great American citizens that have come out
here to let us know that you care that we
missed our friends, and that you want us to know
about the people you miss too. You have to know
the healing that begins with you. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Now.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
In the beginning, it just made sense. I'm a marine,
I've got brothers that I've lost that I've served with it.
It just made sense for me to go out here
and remember them and honor them. After the first few years,
I started losing my own friends and brothers to suicide,
and that's when Memorial Day really really changed for me.
Speaker 7 (06:59):
Please remove non religious head gear, had your heart allegiance
pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Of America, intuity public for which it stands one issue
under God, as Memorial Day just changed for you over
the years.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, In short, I'm for the most part I'm I'm
less angry. There's still times there's been a couple of
years where I do just I get I wouldn't even
say angry. In the beginning, I was angry, But over
the last few years, I find myself some some years
(07:42):
where I'm just frustrated because I feel like our country
just doesn't do enough to remember my dead brothers and sisters,
and that can be inherently frustrating for me. Yeah, we
can do better. We can do better on honoring those
men and women and remembering them because they're not just numbers.
(08:06):
They're human beings, and they have families, and they had
very close friends, and their tentacles stretched far and wide.
So I'm a lot better with it now, But that
that was from a lot of work that's gone into it,
because it's unfair of me to think or to expect
(08:28):
the rest of the country to feel the way I
feel when we have completely different life experiences on this
one day. Now, that said, I do wholeheartedly believe that
we can do better on that day a few years later.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
You know, I've got a fifteen year old daughter that's
sitting right over there, and she was eight at the time.
You know, she was eight at the time, and you know,
she would she wanted to come out and see what
Daddy did on Memorial Day, you know, every single year,
because he would disappear for a couple of days. And
you know, because I'm out here with with my tribe,
and she wanted to be a part of it. And
(09:06):
I brought her out, and she wanted to stay the
night with us, you know, and she wanted to walk
with us. And you know, there was this moment where
I would I would take her, you know, when everything's
kind of died down throughout the night, because but what
I would do with her, you know, I waited till
till nightfall, you know, when when a lot of people
(09:28):
went home for the night. I took her out at
night and I would walk the trail with her, and
we would walk and we'd look at all the memorials
that Carrie the Load puts up on the trail and
we read them. And you know, and my daughter was
eight at the time. You know, I didn't really know
if or knew is she really understood what Memorial Day
(09:50):
was about. But we got home the next day after
everything wrapped up, and she she just out of the blue.
Drew me this picture and I still have it, you know,
of this cross and and a flag and and and
and us it was us walking on the trail and
and uh it in her eight year old mind, you
(10:12):
know that she was able to express to me what
she she felt, what what Memorial did was about it,
and that another way, in another way change what care
the load was about. For me, you know, it reminded
me that it's my job, my duty to instill upon
the future, you know, of of our nation, that to
(10:35):
remind them that what what this day is actually about,
you know. And so so now you know, I've got
my whole family out here, and we walk and we
remember and we honor you, you know, and and and I
have no doubt that my kids, you know, from my
fifteen year old daughter now to my my ten year
old boy now, that that that they they know what
Memorial Day is about.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It took a.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Stage retired general whole fun not.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to explain this
hap a Troop, first Squadron, ninth the Cavalry. I'm wearing
it for all my guys from that unit from Vietnam days.
If we got any Vietnam vets out there, all right.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Good good. I'll just tell you, for.
Speaker 7 (11:22):
Those vets, give them a special hug, a little pat
on the back, because they didn't get anything like this
when they came home.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
I promise you that it was not a good thing.
Speaker 7 (11:32):
The second thing I'd say is there are a lot of
young people here, including the folks running this effort, and
and that young group of Scouts have came here and
presented the colors, and I see more young people here, and.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I think we're not in any trouble.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
We got great young people in this country. And I
really believe that.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I mean, you.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Guys are the country.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So when you do it, actually, do you carry someone specific?
Do you carry the weight of many? Do you carry
the idea?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, I mean all of the above. Each year for me,
because I've done it thirteen years now, this will be
my thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Each year for me, I've actually decided to pick a
different person to kind of honor, just because I know
it would mean a lot to their family members. So
I've carried my grandfather though the past few years. My
grandfather was twenty four years old when he was killed
in a training incident in Fairbanks, Alaska and my mom
was two at the time. Her father was Lieutenant Larry
(12:34):
Dwayne Voss. He was a pilot and he was co
piloting a T thirty three jet and Fairbanks and they crashed. Unfortunately,
he was buried shortly thereafter at Presidio in San Francisco.
And I'm blessed to have a mother that, even though
she's a gold Star daughter, and back in the nineteen
fifties when you know, there really wasn't a lot of
(12:56):
support or resources for gold Star families. Blessed to have
a mother that raised us to be patriotic and to
really be hyper aware of what this weekend and what
Memorial Day is all about. And so I've been carrying
Larry and you know, it's it. Jake alluded to it.
But for each and every individual that loses their life,
whether it be in action in the line of duty,
(13:19):
in training, or by their own hand, for each and
every one of them, you know, it affects generations of people,
myself included. And my mom being so young when her
father was killed, I was always really interested in him
and his story, and I found out some amazing things
about him. I think one of the greatest compliments I
ever received in my life. Was my great uncle Bunner
(13:42):
one time told me that I reminded him of my grandfather.
And here's this man that I never knew, you know,
two generations removed that my mom never really knew because
she was so young when he perished. But you know,
to me, it's an honor, and to me it's a
privilege to be able to carry him and to speak
his name and about all the accomplishments that he did.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
You know, when every time every year I come out
here and you ask me who I'm carrying, you know,
I will always tell you that I am carrying my
friend Ben Adams, that I'm carrying my friend Stephen Jackal,
that I'm carrying one of my friend's friends that I've
(14:26):
never met, you know, but actually has a place in
my heart. And you'll see his postport as soon as
you walk out those gates. And his name is Sergeant
Andrew Davis. You know that's I know of him through
a friend that I met the first time. First year
I was out here doing care of the load. I
met this girl, this woman named Katie, and she introduced
(14:55):
me to who Sergeant Andrew Davis is and who he
he was and how he died, you know, and uh,
you know, it's one of those moments that I always
remember that that it was kind of a reality check
that that reminded me exactly what and why we're out here.
(15:16):
And you know, all those names, unfortunately that I named
the sergeant Andrew Davis, Ben Adams, Stephen Jackal, you know,
they all died by suicide. And those are names that
that are very very personal to me. And and and
I yes, when you ask me who I'm caring those are?
Will we always been the first names out of my mouth.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
We need to take a quick commercial break, but we've
got a lot more with Jake and Ashley and a
lot more from the heart of the event itself. Stick around,
welcome back. Before we introduce you to a few new
(16:04):
people here, I am with Jake and Ashley. Jake, over
the years, specifically, how important has carried the load been
to you?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I would say that, you know, over the years, carry
those has been paramount to my healing process and it's
it's really helped me heal through my own growth. But
the countless other people that I've met who have sustained
tremendous loss through their growth. It's been a beautiful thing
(16:37):
to be able to hel together with a bunch of
people because of the same reason, you know, because loss
is loss is loss, just like pain is pain is pain.
It's all relative. It doesn't really matter what leads up
to it or how it happens. I mean, the end
result is what makes it all relative, and that to
me over the years has been invaluable, and not only
(17:02):
my healing process, but just my life process. I mean,
it's that I could say with certainty that it has been.
It's had a tremendous impact on making me a more
effective husband, father, leader. It's helped in every aspect and
especially when done correctly, meaning you know, devoid of predominantly
(17:28):
alcohol and drugs like it, you know, because that was
a suppression mechanism that I utilized for the first number
of years that I did it. But it's yeah, it's been.
It's been an invaluable part of my healing process every
year since I've done it, even when I was not sober.
I mean, it does have a huge impact and some
(17:51):
of the coolest parts of it that I've been able
to bear witness to or even the people that, yeah,
I know, I never served. I don't really know anybody
that's served. I just heard about this and figured i'd
come check it out to see how much it impacts
those people and how they leave a completely different person
than they showed up. Is that to me? Is I
(18:13):
mean that you can't put a price point on that,
you know, because they they show up not really understanding,
and then after a mere number of hours, they leave
completely getting it.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Now, please welcome the first Cavalry Division band who will
lead us in the national level.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
So Muriel, my wife, and I are included in that
lucky group of first timers showing up to carry the load.
Twenty twenty five, we flew down to Dallas to stay
with you guys and to experience it. Jake, unfortunately you
are not joining this year, and I am wondering if
(19:06):
you're comfortable talking a little bit about what's keeping you
home this year.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah. So, you know, I've been dealing with some health
stuff and astal and I went to the doctor and
they think that I have a blood clot and my
residual limb or my stomp, and so I can't wear
my prosthetic. So I'm basically wheelchair bound for the next
number of weeks trying to get that to dissolve on
(19:33):
its own, and not only that, it's just I've been
very low on energy and kind of lethargic, and so
actually when I came to the conclusion that it's probably
just best for my physical, mental emotional health to sit
this one out and cheer on everybody from home, which
(19:55):
is tough. You know, it's the first one I've missed
in fourteen years, and so it is what it is.
It's just one of those things that you know, it sucks,
but I've got to make sure I take care of
me in order to take care of others, and so
it's a bummer, but it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Jake. For people that aren't familiar with you and your story,
would you describe the injuries you sustained while you were
in Iraq?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, I got blown up on a react mission. Our
hum V got hit and blew me out of the
hum V. I ended up having an amputation below the
knee of my right leg, multiple compound fractures and my
left left leg, compound fractures in my left arm, lost
(20:48):
five inches of my ulna bone in my left arm,
part of my left hand, essentially my fourth and fifth
digit metacarpals, my fifth digit completely, meaning Pinky broke my ribs,
a shrapnel throughout my body and my neck, chin and face,
(21:13):
some burns, and a traumatic brain injury because I landed
on my head.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Given that, Carrie, the lotus played such a vital part
in your healing over the years, and you were denied
that this year, how did you deal with that? What
did did you do? Something in solitude?
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
What I did was I just focused on being grateful
that I was had the ability to still be here
and feel like shit, There's a lot of men and
women that don't have that ability, and I focused on
the gratitude of that fact that, hey, at least I'm here.
(21:51):
I still get to hug and kiss my wife and
hug and kiss my boys. Yeah, so that's what I
focused on, is at least I'm alive to fill discomfort
because they can't even fill that.
Speaker 8 (22:09):
My name is Beth Burgess, and Hi, I'm Terry Burgess.
Carry the load to me means that Brian is not forgotten,
that people remember that, especially the farther we get from
the war. It's easy to think that people have forgotten,
but then you come to event like this, and you
know that there's still a lot of people and we
have a lot of love and support.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Terry and Elizabeth are the epitome of what it means
to be patriotic Americans. And they lost her son, Brian,
who died conducting combat operations in the army in Afghanistan.
And it has been an absolute honor for me. And
I know I can speak for Ashley when I say this.
(22:51):
Getting to meet and know the Burgesses has been an
absolute highlight of my life.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
To me, Carry the Load is uh, it's it's people.
I just saw Doug Peterson walking past, really good friend
of ours. You look up, there's the posters of the
fallen soldiers, and it is it's it's more than just
Memorial Day. It is a it is a memorial and
(23:22):
it it helps us understand. Like Bess said, you know,
we don't carry that weight alone. When we lost Brian,
our son, we thought it was just going to kill us.
We thought we were all alone in this. Nobody cared,
nobody wanted to hear the stories, nobody wanted to listen.
And then we find organizations like Carry the Load. They
(23:45):
encourage you to tell your stories, they encourage you to
share your sons, your daughter's stories, your own personal journey,
and you understand that pain in your heart while it's
still hurts, these people share that pain. You can you
can share your story with them without them giving you
(24:06):
that weird glazed look in their eyes, you know, like
I don't want to hear this, I don't want to
listen to this, but they will listen with tears in
their eyes and then you get a big old hug.
We just got a big hug from Clint Bruce.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
It was a freaking amazing every time we come out here.
So that's that's what carry the load is to us.
It is it's family, it's friends, it's sharing, its understanding,
and it's healing.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
How I memorialize the dead has definitely changed also over
the years, because before it would be you know, I'd
go to the bar and I get hammered in honor
of someone. Well, that's completely counterintuitive to the greater good.
(24:54):
And how I memorialize the dead is by trying to
live well every single day, not just on Memorial Day,
but every day. And that means right things, right reasons,
you know, and God will take care of the rest
like that. I definitely try. I'm actively trying to be
a better human being every day in honor of those
(25:17):
who can't, which in turn helps me. Doesn't mean I
don't have bad days, of course I do. Everybody does.
But I feel like that's the only way to truly
memorialize them is to live well every single day. And
then you have these special occasions like Memorial Day or
the day this man or woman was lost in service
(25:40):
to the nation, that you can do something special on
that day to honor the way they live, not the
way they died. And I think that those things are
vital to keeping legacies alive for those that will come
after us. So that's ultimately what I do is I
try live wall every single day.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
So our son, Staff Sergeant Brian Burgess, he really was
the all American boy he had. He enjoyed sports. He
played soccer from a very young age, and he played football, baseball,
and he was really good at it, and he had
a charisma about him. He was a natural leader, you
(26:23):
could tell from an early age. We went on a
train trip to Arkansas to visit my parents and took
the kids with us, Brian and Brandy, his sister, was
with us. On the train, well, Brian got up and
he went, you know, to explore the train. Five minutes
later he comes back past. There's a herd of kids
following him, like, what are you collecting? Children? What are
(26:44):
you doing? But they just naturally followed him around. And
we saw that in his sports, We saw that with
his leadership in the army. We talked to his captain
and he said, we had our eye on Sergeant Burge
just because he had that special balance. He had that
love for his family, and then he had that love
(27:06):
for his men, and his men felt that and they
literally followed him into Hell on that March twenty ninth,
twenty eleven. But we learned a lot of stories about
Brian from his men. Stories we wouldn't that, you know,
Brian probably wouldn't have told us. But he was an
(27:30):
extraordinary soldier. He was an extraordinary son, a brother, husband, father,
the father he was. He was a treasure to us.
And when that treasure's taken away, you feel like a
part of you is taken away and you don't think
(27:51):
you can ever get it back. But yes, and through
his men and his men's love for Brian, that that
pain has decreased so much. It's turned into honor. It's
turned into respect and honor for my son. And I've
told several people that I say, Okay, it's kind of
(28:13):
weird when your son becomes inspiration to the parent, but
he did.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
We're going to pause here for the last commercial break
of the episode and we'll be right back. All right, everyone,
we're back now, let's check in with Jake. Is Memorial
Day itself a taxing day emotionally for you?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It can be, Yeah, it definitely can be, because you know,
we have a routine. We have a routine that we
do every year and which consists of going to a
couple of different semits and paying respects to multiple people.
And usually with the month of May, it's emotionally taxing
(29:11):
for me. And it's more so because it's you know,
I'm so deep in it every single day. But at
the same time too, like I'm trying to pour myself
into other lots of other people to even not even
get on the same plane I'm on, but like just
to even get in somewhat to the same universe. And
(29:32):
it takes a lot because everybody's busy with life, their jobs,
their families, their kids' extracurricular activities and just trying to
do the best they can to get by with what
they've got right now, and so it's it is emotionally taxing,
but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it. I'm
(29:53):
definitely not complaining about it, because it's like I said,
I I'm reminded every day, not just in May or
Memorial Day that, regardless of how are what I'm feeling,
every one of those men or women I'm sure would
give anything to feel that way one more time. I mean,
of course it's emotionally taxing, but you're exercising emotion, but
(30:16):
it's not. It's not soul draining by any means. To
me a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I
feel like it's those souls that I feel like my
souls fed and I feel like that's their spirit giving
back to recharge and uplift me in return of honoring them.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
After he was killed, I sank into a dark depression.
It was scary. Beth was afraid to go to work
and leave me home because she thought when she came
home I would not be there in the worst sense.
Speaker 8 (30:53):
So I started looking trying to find some way to
help us. I knew we had to be away that
we could connect with other parents. So I started looking
and then I could find the great organizations for spouses
and for children, almost nothing for dads. There's a lot
for moms, there's very little for dads, and almost nothing
(31:16):
for the parents together. So I think in twenty sixteen
twenty fifteen, a friend of us said, hey, let's just
see if this works. Let's hold it a three day weekend,
put the word out, let's see if anybody shows up.
And we had forty sets of parents come from across
the state and they were like, well, okay, and they
(31:37):
all said, we've been looking for this, we can't find
any way to connect with other parents. So we did
it for a couple more years, and then everybody wanted
to come back, and we realized, Okay, if we're going
to do this, we need to be a five oh
one C three. So we became a five o' one
C three and twenty seventeen and we've been doing it
ever since. And then three years ago partnered with American Airlines.
(32:02):
They donate miles Airline miles, so now we're able to
fly parents in from across the country just to come
just four days of just connecting and healing and talking
about your son and your daughter and just talking to
other people who have an idea of your loss, because
we said from the very beginning it wasn't just going
to be killed in action, it was going to be
(32:23):
any loss. If you lost your child who was serving,
please come. And those parents struggle even harder than we did,
because you get they get the folded flag. We're very
sorry for your loss, and that's it. And so we've
had a lot of them with similar circumstances come and
connect with each other and then that connection lasts, hopefully
for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
It sounds like you're describing a pretty significant connection with
those that are no longer with us on this earthly plane.
Do you feel a connection to other members of your
community that are also memorializing them.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Absolutely, yeah, because it is it's a process of connection,
you know, And so I feel like it's something that,
like I said, I think it's a it's a great
opportunity to bring people together because it's one very simple,
common purpose for that one thing, and it's not difficult
(33:26):
to do. Like it's not you're not you're not trying
to resolve the theory of relativity, right, it's not extremely
taxing when it comes to brain power, it's fairly simple.
So yeah, there's a lot of connection throughout that evolution,
which which is great and I think that attributes to
(33:47):
the soul food of the whole process.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Will you talk for a minute about why you choose
to use word evolution.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, because for me, that's that's what that's what it is, right,
It's a there's a beginning, middle, and an end and
and then it repeats. But it's not the same every
single time. And so for me, you know, that's indicative
of an evolution is you're evolving through the process and
(34:18):
it's different every single year. You know, I learned things
every single year, and not just about individuals or new
people or meet family members of the fallen, which I
do every single year, but it's it is definitely evolving.
Like from the beginning of the first time I experienced
(34:38):
Memorial Day at the age where I was mentally mature
enough to understand what it was to now has been
a different evolution every single year up to this point.
And so that's why I use that word is because
it's a it's a learning curve every single time. And
I think it's impot gospel to not learn while you evolved.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
One tribe is proud to have founded the Silent Midnight March,
where we come together as a tribe and kick off
Memorial Day actually at midnight by walking around six miles
in silence. The only thing you'll hear is the clinging
of the dog tags on Terry Burgess's backpack.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Last final thing, would you tell me about what you're
literally carrying?
Speaker 8 (35:34):
Sure?
Speaker 7 (35:34):
The backpack and everything.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
So every year at carry the Load, I have a
backpack and it has the six names, has my son's name, Brian,
and the five names of the soldiers that were killed
with Brian that same morning. So the backpack has the
(35:56):
names of the of the sixth fallen on it. And
then it also has I don't know dozens of dog
tags and metals from various events that Beth and I
have attended where we can talk about Brian and his brothers,
And it has some of the challenge coins that we've
clicked over the years. And on top of the pack,
(36:19):
I have a pair of shoes. My daughter in law
said she found a pair of Brian's old sneakers. He
loved to run. He loved to walk, he loved to hike.
So she said, you want his shoes? I said sure,
But the thing was he had tiny feet. My feet
are a little bit bigger than his. So I strapped
him onto the top of my backpack and I just
(36:40):
been a little sign on said my son's shoes, and
I'm carrying my son's shoes. And we've had it here
several years at Carry the Load. We've taken it to
the Baton Memorial Death March at White Sands and walked
the honor fourteen miles with it there. We've had it
at Fort Campbell and it's always emotional to me to
(37:03):
have somebody stop me and they say can I touch
the shoes? Absolutely? Yeah. So it's kind of a backpack memorial.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Like Carry the Load itself. This two part series is
an evolution, and next week we conclude our story in
a much different place than where it started. I want
to thank Don Nowin and the Burgesses for hopping on
the mic with me and joining the show.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Thank you so much for listening to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
If you appreciate this show, please subscribe, like, and review
The Good Stuff podcast, and connect with us on social media.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
We love hearing from you, so please reach out for
our website. Our links and contact information is in the
show notes of this episode.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
And it would mean the world to us if you
shared this episode with the people in your life who
might also enjoy it. We'll be back next week, but
in the meantime, if you're looking for a companion piece
of this episode, please check out our episode A Yellow
Rose Never Dies with Judy Littlefield from season one.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Put on your badass capes and go be great today
and remember you can't do epic things without epic people.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Again, thank you for listening to the good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob
Shick and Leah Pictures, Hosted by Ashley Shick, Jacob Shick,
and Nick Cassolini. Produced by Nick Cassolini, Engineering, editing and
post production supervision by Nick Cassolini. Music by Will Tendy.
Welcome the season two of The Good Stuff. I'm Ashley Schick,
and I'm joined by my husband and co host, Jacob Schick,
a third generation combat marine and CEO of One Tribe Foundation.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ashley also comes from a family rich in military history,
and we've dedicated our lives to One Tribes, mission serving veterans,
first responders, and their families. We're coming to you from Dallas,
so welcome to Texas.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And joining us all season long from Los Angeles, California
is our West Coast long haired friend and producer of
The Good Stuff, Nick Cassolini.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
What's up, guys, Welcome to the first episode of a
two part series about Carry the Load, speaking simply, Carry
the Load is a huge Memorial Day event that culminates
here in Dallas, Texas, and, as you'll discover over the
course of these episodes, its significance is truly monumental to
the people who participate, from active duty military to veterans,
(00:50):
to family members and spouses of those who lost their
lives serving this country, to the random civilian just checking
it out. Carry the Load is truly a one of
a kind way to spend Memoria a day, weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The care of the load evolution happens every May or
Memorial May, as we call it, and so this episode
is probably gonna drop who knows when, but probably nowhere
near Memorial May. And we don't care that it's oh well,
it's not May. We don't give We honor and remember
the legacies of these men and women and their families
(01:21):
every single day. It doesn't take a day that that
our government designates, okay, today you need to honor.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Remember.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, we don't give two dams. It is what it is,
and it still means so much to us. Whether it
drops in May or it drops in October, it has
the absolute same meaning to us. We would encourage all
of our listeners that listen to this in a time
that is not Memorial May to just take it at
(01:51):
face value and listen to it and then internalize it,
because I promise you it'll make an impact if you
really really dig into it. Don't let that get in
the way of your intellectual mobility, please.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Jake, thank you very much for that. For our beautiful
listeners out there. This is just a quick heads up.
This show can explore some heavy subject matter, including talks
of suicide, so listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
We couldn't be happier.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You're here again. Welcome to the good stuff, Jake.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Mister Jacob Shick, I'd love to hear in your words
from your heart, what Memorial Day is and what it's about.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Memorial Day is a day to honor and remember all
the men and women that gave their lives in service
to this country and for the sake of freedom. I
think I can go as far to say, like, that's
not just what I think, that's what Memorial Day is.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And there's a big difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
Veterans Day is in November. That's a happy day where
we think veterans for their service. Memorial Day is an May.
That's a day that we honor and remember our fallen.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And not necessarily it's not a happy day, I mean, but.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
It's a day of remembrance. James Sex.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Here today.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
Once again.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
We want to welth have everyone to be carried the
Load our Dallas Memorial of Artsy five.
Speaker 7 (03:30):
I was so excited to have everybody.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Here today, Ashley. Will you tell me what carry the
Load is.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Carry the Load is an incredible event that was founded
fourteen years ago that really allows individuals, whether they're civilians
or gold Star families or veterans, first responders, law enforcement
officers and their families to come together and truly honor
and celebrate and remember our fallen. It's what that day
(03:56):
and that month was intended for. And it is a
purpose filled, soul feeding event that brings like minded individuals
together to honor and remember the sacrifice of those who
paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And what are some of the actual nuts and bolts
of what people do at carry the load?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You know? The idea is that you come together to
carry the load for them because they can no longer
carry it for us. They've paid the ultimate price and
it was expensive, but we walk to honor and remember them.
Some people carry rocksacks, some people carry mementos in their
backpack or on their backpack. Some people carry stones with
(04:37):
you know, those that they've lost, names inside of them.
You know. It is a great event culminating in Dallas
at Reversham Park where they have the bounce houses and
the food trucks and the field of flags for each
of those that have lost their life, as well as
the storyboards that line the trail on Katie trail in
each each of those storyboards telling the story of a
(04:58):
life of a family, of generations of people who were
affected by their service and their sacrifice.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
Without further ado, mister Clint Bruce.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Well, good afternoon, and I know we're chomping at the
bit getting ready to go, but I just wanted to
tell you. I was standing in the back and then
Steven asked me to come up here. And I'm so
proud every time I get a chance to do this
because Steven and I and some of these early members
can remember when the week before the very first Carry
the Load, it was about forty eight people had signed
up in thirty seven of them were related to Steven,
(05:34):
and uh, he's got a big family. That would have
been the whole family. But to see where it is now.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
My name is Don Nunn, formerly staffs are in the
United States Marine Corps. I am a founding member of
One Tried Foundation formerly known as twenty two Kill. We
have been involved with Terry the Load for over ten
years now.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
One of my favorite things about this, and maybe hard
for you to tell it because you're out there, but
about eighty percent of the men and women here great
American citizens, maybe only twenty twenty five percent of people
here are veterans, and one of the reasons the veterans
get up says, we think people don't care that we
lost our friends. But I promise you it is impossible
for you to continue to think that if you simply
look around.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So to the.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Seventy eighty per great American citizens that have come out
here to let us know that you care that we
missed our friends, and that you want us to know
about the people you miss too. You have to know
the healing that begins with you. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Now.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
In the beginning, it just made sense. I'm a marine,
I've got brothers that I've lost that I've served with it.
It just made sense for me to go out here
and remember them and honor them. After the first few years,
I started losing my own friends and brothers to suicide,
and that's when Memorial Day really really changed for me.
Speaker 7 (06:59):
Please remove non religious head gear, had your heart allegiance
pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Of America, intuity public for which it stands one issue
under God, as Memorial Day just changed for you over
the years.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, In short, I'm for the most part I'm I'm
less angry. There's still times there's been a couple of
years where I do just I get I wouldn't even
say angry. In the beginning, I was angry, But over
the last few years, I find myself some some years
(07:42):
where I'm just frustrated because I feel like our country
just doesn't do enough to remember my dead brothers and sisters,
and that can be inherently frustrating for me. Yeah, we
can do better. We can do better on honoring those
men and women and remembering them because they're not just numbers.
(08:06):
They're human beings, and they have families, and they had
very close friends, and their tentacles stretched far and wide.
So I'm a lot better with it now, But that
that was from a lot of work that's gone into it,
because it's unfair of me to think or to expect
(08:28):
the rest of the country to feel the way I
feel when we have completely different life experiences on this
one day. Now, that said, I do wholeheartedly believe that
we can do better on that day a few years later.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
You know, I've got a fifteen year old daughter that's
sitting right over there, and she was eight at the time.
You know, she was eight at the time, and you know,
she would she wanted to come out and see what
Daddy did on Memorial Day, you know, every single year,
because he would disappear for a couple of days. And
you know, because I'm out here with with my tribe,
and she wanted to be a part of it. And
(09:06):
I brought her out, and she wanted to stay the
night with us, you know, and she wanted to walk
with us. And you know, there was this moment where
I would I would take her, you know, when everything's
kind of died down throughout the night, because but what
I would do with her, you know, I waited till
till nightfall, you know, when when a lot of people
(09:28):
went home for the night. I took her out at
night and I would walk the trail with her, and
we would walk and we'd look at all the memorials
that Carrie the Load puts up on the trail and
we read them. And you know, and my daughter was
eight at the time. You know, I didn't really know
if or knew is she really understood what Memorial Day
(09:50):
was about. But we got home the next day after
everything wrapped up, and she she just out of the blue.
Drew me this picture and I still have it, you know,
of this cross and and a flag and and and
and us it was us walking on the trail and
and uh it in her eight year old mind, you
(10:12):
know that she was able to express to me what
she she felt, what what Memorial did was about it,
and that another way, in another way change what care
the load was about. For me, you know, it reminded
me that it's my job, my duty to instill upon
the future, you know, of of our nation, that to
(10:35):
remind them that what what this day is actually about,
you know. And so so now you know, I've got
my whole family out here, and we walk and we
remember and we honor you, you know, and and and I
have no doubt that my kids, you know, from my
fifteen year old daughter now to my my ten year
old boy now, that that that they they know what
Memorial Day is about.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It took a.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Stage retired general whole fun not.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to explain this
hap a Troop, first Squadron, ninth the Cavalry. I'm wearing
it for all my guys from that unit from Vietnam days.
If we got any Vietnam vets out there, all right.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Good good. I'll just tell you, for.
Speaker 7 (11:22):
Those vets, give them a special hug, a little pat
on the back, because they didn't get anything like this
when they came home.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
I promise you that it was not a good thing.
Speaker 7 (11:32):
The second thing I'd say is there are a lot of
young people here, including the folks running this effort, and
and that young group of Scouts have came here and
presented the colors, and I see more young people here, and.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I think we're not in any trouble.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
We got great young people in this country. And I
really believe that.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I mean, you.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Guys are the country.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So when you do it, actually, do you carry someone specific?
Do you carry the weight of many? Do you carry
the idea?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, I mean all of the above. Each year for me,
because I've done it thirteen years now, this will be
my thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Each year for me, I've actually decided to pick a
different person to kind of honor, just because I know
it would mean a lot to their family members. So
I've carried my grandfather though the past few years. My
grandfather was twenty four years old when he was killed
in a training incident in Fairbanks, Alaska and my mom
was two at the time. Her father was Lieutenant Larry
(12:34):
Dwayne Voss. He was a pilot and he was co
piloting a T thirty three jet and Fairbanks and they crashed. Unfortunately,
he was buried shortly thereafter at Presidio in San Francisco.
And I'm blessed to have a mother that, even though
she's a gold Star daughter, and back in the nineteen
fifties when you know, there really wasn't a lot of
(12:56):
support or resources for gold Star families. Blessed to have
a mother that raised us to be patriotic and to
really be hyper aware of what this weekend and what
Memorial Day is all about. And so I've been carrying
Larry and you know, it's it. Jake alluded to it.
But for each and every individual that loses their life,
whether it be in action in the line of duty,
(13:19):
in training, or by their own hand, for each and
every one of them, you know, it affects generations of people,
myself included. And my mom being so young when her
father was killed, I was always really interested in him
and his story, and I found out some amazing things
about him. I think one of the greatest compliments I
ever received in my life. Was my great uncle Bunner
(13:42):
one time told me that I reminded him of my grandfather.
And here's this man that I never knew, you know,
two generations removed that my mom never really knew because
she was so young when he perished. But you know,
to me, it's an honor, and to me it's a
privilege to be able to carry him and to speak
his name and about all the accomplishments that he did.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
You know, when every time every year I come out
here and you ask me who I'm carrying, you know,
I will always tell you that I am carrying my
friend Ben Adams, that I'm carrying my friend Stephen Jackal,
that I'm carrying one of my friend's friends that I've
(14:26):
never met, you know, but actually has a place in
my heart. And you'll see his postport as soon as
you walk out those gates. And his name is Sergeant
Andrew Davis. You know that's I know of him through
a friend that I met the first time. First year
I was out here doing care of the load. I
met this girl, this woman named Katie, and she introduced
(14:55):
me to who Sergeant Andrew Davis is and who he
he was and how he died, you know, and uh,
you know, it's one of those moments that I always
remember that that it was kind of a reality check
that that reminded me exactly what and why we're out here.
(15:16):
And you know, all those names, unfortunately that I named
the sergeant Andrew Davis, Ben Adams, Stephen Jackal, you know,
they all died by suicide. And those are names that
that are very very personal to me. And and and
I yes, when you ask me who I'm caring those are?
Will we always been the first names out of my mouth.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
We need to take a quick commercial break, but we've
got a lot more with Jake and Ashley and a
lot more from the heart of the event itself. Stick around,
welcome back. Before we introduce you to a few new
(16:04):
people here, I am with Jake and Ashley. Jake, over
the years, specifically, how important has carried the load been
to you?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I would say that, you know, over the years, carry
those has been paramount to my healing process and it's
it's really helped me heal through my own growth. But
the countless other people that I've met who have sustained
tremendous loss through their growth. It's been a beautiful thing
(16:37):
to be able to hel together with a bunch of
people because of the same reason, you know, because loss
is loss is loss, just like pain is pain is pain.
It's all relative. It doesn't really matter what leads up
to it or how it happens. I mean, the end
result is what makes it all relative, and that to
me over the years has been invaluable, and not only
(17:02):
my healing process, but just my life process. I mean,
it's that I could say with certainty that it has been.
It's had a tremendous impact on making me a more
effective husband, father, leader. It's helped in every aspect and
especially when done correctly, meaning you know, devoid of predominantly
(17:28):
alcohol and drugs like it, you know, because that was
a suppression mechanism that I utilized for the first number
of years that I did it. But it's yeah, it's been.
It's been an invaluable part of my healing process every
year since I've done it, even when I was not sober.
I mean, it does have a huge impact and some
(17:51):
of the coolest parts of it that I've been able
to bear witness to or even the people that, yeah,
I know, I never served. I don't really know anybody
that's served. I just heard about this and figured i'd
come check it out to see how much it impacts
those people and how they leave a completely different person
than they showed up. Is that to me? Is I
(18:13):
mean that you can't put a price point on that,
you know, because they they show up not really understanding,
and then after a mere number of hours, they leave
completely getting it.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Now, please welcome the first Cavalry Division band who will
lead us in the national level.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
So Muriel, my wife, and I are included in that
lucky group of first timers showing up to carry the load.
Twenty twenty five, we flew down to Dallas to stay
with you guys and to experience it. Jake, unfortunately you
are not joining this year, and I am wondering if
(19:06):
you're comfortable talking a little bit about what's keeping you
home this year.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah. So, you know, I've been dealing with some health
stuff and astal and I went to the doctor and
they think that I have a blood clot and my
residual limb or my stomp, and so I can't wear
my prosthetic. So I'm basically wheelchair bound for the next
number of weeks trying to get that to dissolve on
(19:33):
its own, and not only that, it's just I've been
very low on energy and kind of lethargic, and so
actually when I came to the conclusion that it's probably
just best for my physical, mental emotional health to sit
this one out and cheer on everybody from home, which
(19:55):
is tough. You know, it's the first one I've missed
in fourteen years, and so it is what it is.
It's just one of those things that you know, it sucks,
but I've got to make sure I take care of
me in order to take care of others, and so
it's a bummer, but it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Jake. For people that aren't familiar with you and your story,
would you describe the injuries you sustained while you were
in Iraq?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, I got blown up on a react mission. Our
hum V got hit and blew me out of the
hum V. I ended up having an amputation below the
knee of my right leg, multiple compound fractures and my
left left leg, compound fractures in my left arm, lost
(20:48):
five inches of my ulna bone in my left arm,
part of my left hand, essentially my fourth and fifth
digit metacarpals, my fifth digit completely, meaning Pinky broke my ribs,
a shrapnel throughout my body and my neck, chin and face,
(21:13):
some burns, and a traumatic brain injury because I landed
on my head.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Given that, Carrie, the lotus played such a vital part
in your healing over the years, and you were denied
that this year, how did you deal with that? What
did did you do? Something in solitude?
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
What I did was I just focused on being grateful
that I was had the ability to still be here
and feel like shit, There's a lot of men and
women that don't have that ability, and I focused on
the gratitude of that fact that, hey, at least I'm here.
(21:51):
I still get to hug and kiss my wife and
hug and kiss my boys. Yeah, so that's what I
focused on, is at least I'm alive to fill discomfort
because they can't even fill that.
Speaker 8 (22:09):
My name is Beth Burgess, and Hi, I'm Terry Burgess.
Carry the load to me means that Brian is not forgotten,
that people remember that, especially the farther we get from
the war. It's easy to think that people have forgotten,
but then you come to event like this, and you
know that there's still a lot of people and we
have a lot of love and support.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Terry and Elizabeth are the epitome of what it means
to be patriotic Americans. And they lost her son, Brian,
who died conducting combat operations in the army in Afghanistan.
And it has been an absolute honor for me. And
I know I can speak for Ashley when I say this.
(22:51):
Getting to meet and know the Burgesses has been an
absolute highlight of my life.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
To me, Carry the Load is uh, it's it's people.
I just saw Doug Peterson walking past, really good friend
of ours. You look up, there's the posters of the
fallen soldiers, and it is it's it's more than just
Memorial Day. It is a it is a memorial and
(23:22):
it it helps us understand. Like Bess said, you know,
we don't carry that weight alone. When we lost Brian,
our son, we thought it was just going to kill us.
We thought we were all alone in this. Nobody cared,
nobody wanted to hear the stories, nobody wanted to listen.
And then we find organizations like Carry the Load. They
(23:45):
encourage you to tell your stories, they encourage you to
share your sons, your daughter's stories, your own personal journey,
and you understand that pain in your heart while it's
still hurts, these people share that pain. You can you
can share your story with them without them giving you
(24:06):
that weird glazed look in their eyes, you know, like
I don't want to hear this, I don't want to
listen to this, but they will listen with tears in
their eyes and then you get a big old hug.
We just got a big hug from Clint Bruce.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
It was a freaking amazing every time we come out here.
So that's that's what carry the load is to us.
It is it's family, it's friends, it's sharing, its understanding,
and it's healing.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
How I memorialize the dead has definitely changed also over
the years, because before it would be you know, I'd
go to the bar and I get hammered in honor
of someone. Well, that's completely counterintuitive to the greater good.
(24:54):
And how I memorialize the dead is by trying to
live well every single day, not just on Memorial Day,
but every day. And that means right things, right reasons,
you know, and God will take care of the rest
like that. I definitely try. I'm actively trying to be
a better human being every day in honor of those
(25:17):
who can't, which in turn helps me. Doesn't mean I
don't have bad days, of course I do. Everybody does.
But I feel like that's the only way to truly
memorialize them is to live well every single day. And
then you have these special occasions like Memorial Day or
the day this man or woman was lost in service
(25:40):
to the nation, that you can do something special on
that day to honor the way they live, not the
way they died. And I think that those things are
vital to keeping legacies alive for those that will come
after us. So that's ultimately what I do is I
try live wall every single day.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
So our son, Staff Sergeant Brian Burgess, he really was
the all American boy he had. He enjoyed sports. He
played soccer from a very young age, and he played football, baseball,
and he was really good at it, and he had
a charisma about him. He was a natural leader, you
(26:23):
could tell from an early age. We went on a
train trip to Arkansas to visit my parents and took
the kids with us, Brian and Brandy, his sister, was
with us. On the train, well, Brian got up and
he went, you know, to explore the train. Five minutes
later he comes back past. There's a herd of kids
following him, like, what are you collecting? Children? What are
(26:44):
you doing? But they just naturally followed him around. And
we saw that in his sports, We saw that with
his leadership in the army. We talked to his captain
and he said, we had our eye on Sergeant Burge
just because he had that special balance. He had that
love for his family, and then he had that love
(27:06):
for his men, and his men felt that and they
literally followed him into Hell on that March twenty ninth,
twenty eleven. But we learned a lot of stories about
Brian from his men. Stories we wouldn't that, you know,
Brian probably wouldn't have told us. But he was an
(27:30):
extraordinary soldier. He was an extraordinary son, a brother, husband, father,
the father he was. He was a treasure to us.
And when that treasure's taken away, you feel like a
part of you is taken away and you don't think
(27:51):
you can ever get it back. But yes, and through
his men and his men's love for Brian, that that
pain has decreased so much. It's turned into honor. It's
turned into respect and honor for my son. And I've
told several people that I say, Okay, it's kind of
(28:13):
weird when your son becomes inspiration to the parent, but
he did.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
We're going to pause here for the last commercial break
of the episode and we'll be right back. All right, everyone,
we're back now, let's check in with Jake. Is Memorial
Day itself a taxing day emotionally for you?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It can be, Yeah, it definitely can be, because you know,
we have a routine. We have a routine that we
do every year and which consists of going to a
couple of different semits and paying respects to multiple people.
And usually with the month of May, it's emotionally taxing
(29:11):
for me. And it's more so because it's you know,
I'm so deep in it every single day. But at
the same time too, like I'm trying to pour myself
into other lots of other people to even not even
get on the same plane I'm on, but like just
to even get in somewhat to the same universe. And
(29:32):
it takes a lot because everybody's busy with life, their jobs,
their families, their kids' extracurricular activities and just trying to
do the best they can to get by with what
they've got right now, and so it's it is emotionally taxing,
but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it. I'm
(29:53):
definitely not complaining about it, because it's like I said,
I I'm reminded every day, not just in May or
Memorial Day that, regardless of how are what I'm feeling,
every one of those men or women I'm sure would
give anything to feel that way one more time. I mean,
of course it's emotionally taxing, but you're exercising emotion, but
(30:16):
it's not. It's not soul draining by any means. To
me a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I
feel like it's those souls that I feel like my
souls fed and I feel like that's their spirit giving
back to recharge and uplift me in return of honoring them.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
After he was killed, I sank into a dark depression.
It was scary. Beth was afraid to go to work
and leave me home because she thought when she came
home I would not be there in the worst sense.
Speaker 8 (30:53):
So I started looking trying to find some way to
help us. I knew we had to be away that
we could connect with other parents. So I started looking
and then I could find the great organizations for spouses
and for children, almost nothing for dads. There's a lot
for moms, there's very little for dads, and almost nothing
(31:16):
for the parents together. So I think in twenty sixteen
twenty fifteen, a friend of us said, hey, let's just
see if this works. Let's hold it a three day weekend,
put the word out, let's see if anybody shows up.
And we had forty sets of parents come from across
the state and they were like, well, okay, and they
(31:37):
all said, we've been looking for this, we can't find
any way to connect with other parents. So we did
it for a couple more years, and then everybody wanted
to come back, and we realized, Okay, if we're going
to do this, we need to be a five oh
one C three. So we became a five o' one
C three and twenty seventeen and we've been doing it
ever since. And then three years ago partnered with American Airlines.
(32:02):
They donate miles Airline miles, so now we're able to
fly parents in from across the country just to come
just four days of just connecting and healing and talking
about your son and your daughter and just talking to
other people who have an idea of your loss, because
we said from the very beginning it wasn't just going
to be killed in action, it was going to be
(32:23):
any loss. If you lost your child who was serving,
please come. And those parents struggle even harder than we did,
because you get they get the folded flag. We're very
sorry for your loss, and that's it. And so we've
had a lot of them with similar circumstances come and
connect with each other and then that connection lasts, hopefully
for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
It sounds like you're describing a pretty significant connection with
those that are no longer with us on this earthly plane.
Do you feel a connection to other members of your
community that are also memorializing them.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Absolutely, yeah, because it is it's a process of connection,
you know, And so I feel like it's something that,
like I said, I think it's a it's a great
opportunity to bring people together because it's one very simple,
common purpose for that one thing, and it's not difficult
(33:26):
to do. Like it's not you're not you're not trying
to resolve the theory of relativity, right, it's not extremely
taxing when it comes to brain power, it's fairly simple.
So yeah, there's a lot of connection throughout that evolution,
which which is great and I think that attributes to
(33:47):
the soul food of the whole process.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Will you talk for a minute about why you choose
to use word evolution.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, because for me, that's that's what that's what it is, right,
It's a there's a beginning, middle, and an end and
and then it repeats. But it's not the same every
single time. And so for me, you know, that's indicative
of an evolution is you're evolving through the process and
(34:18):
it's different every single year. You know, I learned things
every single year, and not just about individuals or new
people or meet family members of the fallen, which I
do every single year, but it's it is definitely evolving.
Like from the beginning of the first time I experienced
(34:38):
Memorial Day at the age where I was mentally mature
enough to understand what it was to now has been
a different evolution every single year up to this point.
And so that's why I use that word is because
it's a it's a learning curve every single time. And
I think it's impot gospel to not learn while you evolved.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
One tribe is proud to have founded the Silent Midnight March,
where we come together as a tribe and kick off
Memorial Day actually at midnight by walking around six miles
in silence. The only thing you'll hear is the clinging
of the dog tags on Terry Burgess's backpack.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Last final thing, would you tell me about what you're
literally carrying?
Speaker 8 (35:34):
Sure?
Speaker 7 (35:34):
The backpack and everything.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
So every year at carry the Load, I have a
backpack and it has the six names, has my son's name, Brian,
and the five names of the soldiers that were killed
with Brian that same morning. So the backpack has the
(35:56):
names of the of the sixth fallen on it. And
then it also has I don't know dozens of dog
tags and metals from various events that Beth and I
have attended where we can talk about Brian and his brothers,
And it has some of the challenge coins that we've
clicked over the years. And on top of the pack,
(36:19):
I have a pair of shoes. My daughter in law
said she found a pair of Brian's old sneakers. He
loved to run. He loved to walk, he loved to hike.
So she said, you want his shoes? I said sure,
But the thing was he had tiny feet. My feet
are a little bit bigger than his. So I strapped
him onto the top of my backpack and I just
(36:40):
been a little sign on said my son's shoes, and
I'm carrying my son's shoes. And we've had it here
several years at Carry the Load. We've taken it to
the Baton Memorial Death March at White Sands and walked
the honor fourteen miles with it there. We've had it
at Fort Campbell and it's always emotional to me to
(37:03):
have somebody stop me and they say can I touch
the shoes? Absolutely? Yeah. So it's kind of a backpack memorial.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Like Carry the Load itself. This two part series is
an evolution, and next week we conclude our story in
a much different place than where it started. I want
to thank Don Nowin and the Burgesses for hopping on
the mic with me and joining the show.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Thank you so much for listening to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
If you appreciate this show, please subscribe, like, and review
The Good Stuff podcast, and connect with us on social media.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
We love hearing from you, so please reach out for
our website. Our links and contact information is in the
show notes of this episode.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
And it would mean the world to us if you
shared this episode with the people in your life who
might also enjoy it. We'll be back next week, but
in the meantime, if you're looking for a companion piece
of this episode, please check out our episode A Yellow
Rose Never Dies with Judy Littlefield from season one.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Put on your badass capes and go be great today
and remember you can't do epic things without epic people.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Again, thank you for listening to the good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob
Shick and Leah Pictures, Hosted by Ashley Shick, Jacob Shick,
and Nick Cassolini. Produced by Nick Cassolini, Engineering, editing and
post production supervision by Nick Cassolini. Music by Will Tendy.
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