Greatest Meltdowns with Joe Kilgallon

From time to time, emotions, in combination with a blast of adrenaline professional athletes experience while in the throes of a sporting contest, rear themselves in confounding ways. Add tv cameras, fans, opposing players and teammates to the mix and well, you have the recipe for the classic sports meltdown. From the wonderfully theatrical, to the downright concerning, Megan and C.J. talk about their top three with their guest, comedian Joe Kilgallon (The Joe Kilgallon Podcast).

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Greatest, a production of I Heart Radio. Hello,
and welcome to another episode of the Greatest. I'm Megan Gaily,
joined by my husband and co host C J. Tildano. Hello,
how professional sounded very very official. Well, I'm worried because

(00:21):
I have people tweeting at you that I sounded drunk
and or high on the last episode and it was
nine AM, and so now I think I was stone sober.
I'm stone sober right now. Now. I'm worried I phased
into a part of my life where I just have
drunk lady voice even when I'm sober. Well, guess that
we have is maybe not the best person to be, Like, yeah,

(00:44):
completely sober all the time and very well behaved. You're
supposed to give guests nice intros. One of our dearest friends, No,
I was going to. I was just prefacing, you know,
some history here, long overdue having him on the pod.
I'm sure he's going to have some thoughts about that.
Probably a sixth sports podcast of the day, my former roommate.

(01:05):
I mean, gosh, and just like TikTok famous too, just guy,
he is killing a TikTok YouTube, great social media presence.
Comedian we know and love and came up with Joe
kill Gallen. Thank you. I love you both. So it's
great to be podcasting with you. Easily my favorite couple
in the world really, I mean besides myself and my wife. Like,

(01:27):
you've had a great tweet today where you're like, this
is my husband whenever I like clap back at a
heckler and I'm like, damn, that's cute. Yeah, well it
was like kind of made it. I don't know if
CJS no I have. I've been in the crime like hell, yes,
getting yelled at by my wife. I thought you're gonna
be like get on, you know, like pro woman, but
you're just like fortuity me freaking out. Um, Joe, congrats

(01:50):
on the no hitter. Yes, that was mostly my doing.
I actually saw no hitter Jake Garrietta through one against
the Dodgers in l A. I was there. It was amazing.
And then today I just watched in my garage like
a Chicago scumbag. But that's where I almost think sitting
in your garage is the perfect place to watch a
Cubs no hitter. For the fans at home who don't
know Joe, there is no bigger Cubs fan, it's um,

(02:13):
it's borderline mentally ill. The thing is they they are
good and they did win recently, so it's not like
a Brown's mental illness. It is like a kind of
successful mental illness. But yeah, I mean just even looking
at you right now with your setup, you you look
like a Cub's cartoon character. I don't know. It is
getting to the point where I'm I'm hoping something's got

(02:36):
to give because it affects my mood. And I can't
be a father of two and have like a Cub's
loss make me be a bad dad. I think you
can in Chicago. Yeah, you're probably right. So we're recording
this on Sunday, first day of the NFL season, and
I was getting really upset about, you know, something the

(02:58):
Colts did. And c J was like, oh my god,
I forgot that. This is what happens to you. Like
with the Pacers, I like love them, but there's constantly
it's like, Okay, then there's another game in two days.
Like it's just like a quicker turnaround, so you don't
have to be sad for as long. And I also
don't think of you know, like when you look at

(03:18):
the NBA. It's like, I don't think the Pacers are
gonna win, and we look at the NFL. I don't
really think the Cults are gonna win either, but it's
like better chances, so I get more invested in Psychotic
I get it, and the NFL owns a day of
the week. Your dad I said a great conversation with
your dad, Megan where he said, I mean, He's like, no,
Mr kill Gallen, You're not one of those fans that

(03:42):
won't go out to dinner because the big games on
right And I'm like, no, I am. I've I've been like, hey,
you wanna go to this thing. I'm like, well, the
Cubs are on, so I'll meet you there after. And
he's like that's crazy, and I was like, no, I'm
that guy. And so is that why you feel like
you want there to be a change so then you
can start enjoying your life more. I mean, I don't know.
I don't know if I wanted to be a change
because it does bring me a lot of joy, but

(04:02):
it also brings me a lot of anger at the
same same time, So I don't know what the change
might be. I think I'm a big fan of the
Cubs president Theo Epstein, and I have a sneaky suspicion
that the ownership is going to screw him over somehow
because his contracts up in two years, They're gonna disrespect
him or do something like that. And I could see
myself being like, you know what, nothing will ever top

(04:24):
as a Cubs fan. It's time for me to follow
THEO because I'm such a big fan of his, and
maybe I could let go of some of this like
insane psychotic breakdowns I have when again, when the Cubs
don't win. There's no way that's happening from I mean,
THEO is so great though. He is the only GM
I can think of that had a stalker like that
is so impressive to just be you know, you're just

(04:48):
the guy behind at all. You're not even like front
chasing camera videos that like. I mean, he is known.
But wow, that gal, she she was she like wound
up on his Trump sorts. What happened. I don't know
all the details, but THEO is a young, good looking guy.
He was a Yale graduate who won for the Red

(05:08):
Sox back in two thousand four when he was like
twenty nine years old, so everyone was like, what's the term,
like a wonder kid or something or can I don't know,
some German means you're really smart and young, I think anyway,
And then when he came over to the Cubs, he
was like, here's my plan. It's a five year plan.
Year five of the plan, they won the World Series.
That's just I don't know, He's like, he makes being

(05:29):
a nerd cool, which something nerds have done. Actually, now
that I said that, allowed sports nerds are pretty cool.
Just like it's not as much of like a phase
of having to convince you what you're cool if you
know a lot about sports in my opinion, Oh yeah,
when Nicety stumped the schwab boy it is it is
wet ass pussy over here. Okay, so today's topic. I'm

(05:53):
so excited we're doing it. Was like when I was
excited to do my research for you are the perfect
person to do it with. We are doing greatest meltdowns.
And before we even get into that, Joe, I don't
know if there's and I mean this totally would love
I don't know if there's a comedian in our friends
circle who has more notorious meltdowns than you and most

(06:16):
of them justified almost all of them. Justified some of them.
I will not name. I don't want lawsuits to be
brought against me, but I've definitely been on your side
for most of them. In your opinion, what is your
greatest meltdown? My greatest meltdown? Okay, I had a playing
basketball and I was like eleven years old, no, twelve

(06:38):
years It was a big game. These were like two
undefeated teams and porge parks. Jim had like this upper
balcony and all these girls were chanting Joey and because
they knew they would kissed me off when I was
on the free throw line, they'd like joe we and
these were like girls I liked. I wasn't that mad
with these dudes. I didn't like, we're saying some ship
so um. Right after like a time out, I had
the basketball and I threw it into the stand. Was

(07:00):
trying to hit one of them in the head. So
I threw a basketball into a crowd of people, and
that's it's against up into a balcony. So like I
launched it and I got a tech and you only
got a technical and that you got off pretty easy there.
So I got lucky because I think the reference him
swearing it out at me. This one kid, and you
were eleven and were your parents there? They were not.

(07:23):
It was the one game that didn't show up to Okay,
So do you feel like you felt like the leash
was off a little bit more? I would like to
say that, but I've been um, you know my dad once.
I remember striking out and throwing my bat and the
dugout my day going, We're going home, and I hit
a home run earlier in that game, and he made
me fourth inning because I threw a bat. So I
haven't always held back in front of him. Yeah, I come.

(07:46):
I come from a family of sports meltdowns. I would
get in verbal altercations with almost every single girl I
ever played tennis against. And then I started playing golf too,
and so that's across. You're gonna see those girls again.
So then the girls I was fighting in tennis, I
would then start fighting in the fall and golf. Just

(08:06):
a real fun white girl cycle. My brother's psychos drop,
kicking gloves, throwing things. My brother Michael making a jerk
off signal at other nine year olds. He got ejected,
He got thrown out of the gym, like they said you,
he has to leave the building, and so then my
mom and my dad was the coach, so he couldn't leave.

(08:28):
So my dad's just inside coaching, and my mom and
my brother and I are outside in the car waiting
for the game to be over. C J. I don't
imagine that the Tola Donnas have as much of a
past as Joe and I do. Well, I was gonna
ask you, are these what you guys are describing meltdowns
are anger problems. It's a combination of both. I think
a meltdown is kind of when you lose control of yourself,

(08:50):
because I've had I've lashed out angrily where I'm like
totally in control, I know what's going on, and then
there's other times where it's like, oh, I wish I
did not just punch that brick wall because that out
my fingers are broken. You're talking about your brother. I
do remember now. I was kicked out of a co
ed flight a league um in Chicago because my one

(09:11):
cousin was getting real chirpy at wide receiver. He was
mad that I wasn't hitting him, and I remember saying, like, hey,
shut the funk up, t O, You're not open and uh,
he said something else. I snapped the ball and I
went to like try to hit him in the back.
So I like threw a bullet and I missed him
and hit a girl on the shoulder. And so then
the ruffles like that was on purpose, and I'm like
mad and her also she could have picked it off,
like why you met me because she's shitty at defense.

(09:33):
And then you know, like they told me to leave
and then away from the park like Judd Nelson at
the end of Breakfast Club, but instead of the fist
pump and in the middle finger all the us Wells park.
So yeah, that was a fun That's impressive. Now we
have all of these incredible stories of our own meltdowns.
We will be right back with more famous people's meltdowns,

(09:58):
and we are back. Is wait, there's a question I
want to ask you about meltdowns. Know this is because
it pertains to what we're going to get into. And
it's like you end up having kind of like funny
moments and all of your meltdowns because you're a comedian,
you are a funny person. Do you think that makes
you like, do you think people that are funny and

(10:19):
or smart and or like kind of wise ass end
up being more predisposed to having meltdowns because they know
they'll get away with it, or they'll like do something
funny that people will remember. Yes, I do in a way,
but I also think something about funny or smart or
whatever people have in meltdowns. Someone told me that because

(10:39):
there's a difference. Someone tried to say I was an
angry person once. I am not an angry person. I
think my default setting is I'm a pretty happy guy.
I have a bad temper, which is completely different like
angry people walking around being like all the governments out
to get me and this, this and this bad temper.
People were like, what's up? And then someone steps on
our shoe and it's like, hey, Dick had kind of courtesies.
I think what people that have melt downs and lash

(11:00):
out is because we're so disappointed and other people that
they're not meeting up to our standards. That's what I read.
Once door tempers, we get disappointed in people like that's
why like people with road rage, It's like, I'm disappointed
and how shitty my fellow are. We're supposed to be
under the same set of rules. You just cut me off.
You fucking idiot, and I can't tell you, I can't

(11:22):
pull you aside and be like, listen, little guys, this
is why you don't do that. So I have to
scream at you. And I think that's why smart or
funny people do. And I think I don't think anything's
funnier to me than overreacting. When people overreact, it's hysterical.
Happy Gilmore is funnier than Billy Madison and Happy gil
losing his fucking mind, and Billy Madison he's just dumb
and sorry about what was a better movie, Billy Madison

(11:44):
or Happy Gilmore. It's happy going more. You for me,
used to be Billy Madison nowadays happy going Yeah. And
the thing is our listeners they would want that take,
you know, they're happy to that. That's kind of like
a little appetize, sir. You're like, like, oh, like a
little one bite. Okay, thank you. I didn't know we
were going to be ranking Adam Sandler least today too. Okay,
Joe greatest Meltdowns. You are like the Benstein of this,

(12:06):
So lead us off with your number three pick. Okay,
My number three is Dennis Rodman kicking a cameraman in
the nuts. It was kick, as a lot of people know.
Now I know, it feels like almost a cop out
to go with Roban, because he's such an obvious guy
for heaven, like meltdowns, headbutted a referee, and all the
fights he's been in. This one in particular, I like

(12:28):
because as a psycho, when you make an embarrassing move,
because in that the play he kind of fell out
of bounds Rodman and I think he was a little
embarrassed and he fell into the cameraman. Now, so he
took his rage out on someone else, which I can
identify with big time. You gotta ask my wife, and
so that's what he does. He tumbles over, he messed up,
so instead of just being like, my bad, he sees

(12:50):
the cameraman who's kind of in his way, and then
just sides, Oh, this ship's on you, buddy, and then
gives him like a kick, which I always thought was
unfair for people to say it was in his nuts,
because if you notice, the kick was kind of underneath
his thigh, so that cameraman might have a healthy pair,
because I think that looked like a thigh kick. But
the cameraman swears he got a testicle. See this is
how you know Joe is a psycho because he starts

(13:13):
like being like, that's not his balls. He didn't get
his ball, and it's like, well, you know, you can't
kick people no matter what. It's a sensitive area. And
and but I do think your assessment of it is correct.
We hear a lot hurt people, hurt people, and Dennis
Rodman in that moment was hurt because he looked like
a dumb maass and then he said, I gotta hurt

(13:33):
this guy. It's really like in a lot of these
it's people going after raths or fans that are saying
stuff to him. In this situation, it really is a
person truly. They're doing his job, which is neutral or
nicer to the bulls, and he still attacked him. Well.

(13:55):
I also think though, but the media and it's been
changed over the years, sometimes the cameraman are too close.
Sometimes you know, the stanchions too closer, like so they
feel like they move it back every few inches. But
like I think it was yeah, wrong place at the
wrong time, a little bit of a mixture, did he
suit did the cameraman end up? So he did? Did
And that's why I know in the lawsuit, he like

(14:16):
mentioned testicle like he said that he got nuts, and
that's why I remember at the time breaking down the
film with my friends. We were bruder film over like.
I don't think there's nuts there. I think I mean,
maybe he's got a long sack. He's an older guy.
When you get older, a long sack a long stack.
So again, if he has an extra long sack, then

(14:37):
that's maybe that's his fault. Don't have a long sack.
Don't get in the way of one of the greatest
rebounders of all time who kicks when he rebounds exactly.
I did act out everyone listening to the podcast, but
it was a really good act out. Okay, Um, so
this episode is starting with a bulls pick, got it? O? Um,

(14:57):
I know where I am. I have my bearing. I
just want everyone to know I have chosen a no
basketball and no balls, So no basketball and the breath
of fresh that we need. Um, I will go next.
My number three is a person. Okay, it's Tony Stewart
and he has so many bad times that I was

(15:21):
actually watching compilation videos of him freaking out to try
and pick my favorite freakout. Sadly, tragically, Tony Stewart did
kill a man, and that is not on this my
list because I don't think of that as a miltonne
I think of that as like manslaughter. And so if
we ever do manslaughter on the episode, I will revisit this.

(15:43):
But I wanted to keep it light and bright, so
I went with one of his other classics. Um. He
gets into a wreck with Matt Kinzi and they trade paint,
you know, number four two cargo and a number fourteen car.
I love when they talk in cars. It's so fun,
and so they Tony Stewart is in a car accident.

(16:03):
He is walking to an ambulance, takes off his helmet
and chucks it at Matt kenseth car as he's leaving,
like pitt Row, and then he just walks into the
ambulance like he is. He could be injured, he could
he just got into a car accident. And his first
instinct is how do I funk up Matt Kinset's day?

(16:25):
And Wow, he's since spoken about trying to get the
helmet back. He was not fine for that. He's like
one of those people and and I and I it's
sad because you see how it did eventually end up
in tragedy where he just kept getting like a longer
and longer rope, and NASCAR was like, I don't know,
because even after he throws the helmet, he then like

(16:47):
Arsenio Hall's the crowd and they love it. Like the
NASCAR now is different than then, but you can tell
they seem almost handcuffed by his popularity. And part of
his popularity is that he's a full blown fucking psychopaths,
and so there were a lot of times when he
should have been I mean, there's a there was another
video he runs up and he takes off a guy

(17:09):
who's like an official. He takes off his headset throws
it at him, and then another official comes up, like
what are you doing? And then he charges that guy
like he's truly a bull in a china shop, but
the china shop is other people, and he does not
care if they die. I remember that video and it
made me think to myself, it's kind of shocking that
it is in a regular occurrence in NASCAR, not like

(17:31):
the extent of what Tony Stewart did, but think about it.
Their whole profession is almost car accident. Yeah, bumped like
a little rear end you have this feeling in your
chest like holy sh it, like I'm scared, and I'm
also piste off and mad my car insurance gonna go off.
Now I've done late to whatever I'm gonna be in.
Take that in times of buy a million. And that's

(17:51):
Nascar all the time. That's why always saw hockey player
has always had a bad headache. Have you ever almost
slipped on ice? That's their whole job is almost that feeling,
almost slipping on ice. So they want to punch people
in the phase. So I'm surprised it doesn't happen more
in NASCAR. Yeah, in racing, it's like, oh, this is
truly life for death. The margins are like so so
so slim. At one point, he has a rant just

(18:12):
ripping the entire Goodyear, entire company. It's stopped to bottom,
Matt the entire company. I really, I have to recommend.
It's from CJ's Employer Leach Report. They have the ranking
of Tony Stewart's top ten tantrums, and I really oh
and and him killing a person is not even on it,

(18:33):
like that one. How prolific he is. So I suggest
you taking a look at that list. I know at
one point the family of the driver he killed. I'm
not sure how that ended up, but Tony will say
this till the day he dies, that it was fully
an accident, but you do kind of look at his

(18:55):
record and go an accident with a rage induced psycho
at the wheel. So that's my He's from Indiana, so
it feels like I'm going extra hard at him. I am,
And so that's my p s A about how scary
racing is but also fun. All right, okay, so my
number three pick, it's gotta be a tie only. I

(19:15):
think these combined make a good pick, but also too
because I was going to start off with Rodman, which
I should have known you're going to start off with
a Bowls one, but this one is half bowl so
the one half of it is we don't we still
don't know the full details of the story. But Jordan's
punching Steve Kerr in the head in practice, like what
did we Maybe I missed the part of why it
went down in the last dance other than like Steve

(19:39):
Kerr wasn't playing up to again, Jordan's like he like,
I don't know if there was a reason. I think
that's why he was Jordan was disappointed. You can't handle
my right cross and practice? How could I trust you
under the bright lights of Salt Lake City? Yeah, and
and what happened He punched him and then later on
he buried that shot. He buried the shot. So the

(20:00):
second part of that was, um, it's like it's it's Kobe,
who again very much has Jordan qualities. But he walked out.
I mean, this is like a terrible roster and I
just remember this today. But he after scrimmaging and just
destroying all of his teammates two fifteen season, he walked
out on everyone in practice and said everyone's soft like

(20:21):
Sharman and this is why we're not winning, and just
walked off the court and ended practice for that day
and on his roster. I mean, man, his last couple
of years were brutal for him, having to play with
like Tarik Black, Nicki Young who when he didn't Carre
Jeremy Lynn after he got like a crazy contract. And
yet these are Kobe's Like I think he had a
couple more years and he he just walked down on practice,

(20:44):
had to meltdown. I I just love how justified you
both feel in your picks, Like You're like, these are
my picks, and it is a meltdown. But this is
why I think they're okay that they did it. And
I'm like, my man is a psychopath who deserves to
be in jail. Well, I like to set these guys
at a normal and again after the last thing, I

(21:04):
all you can do is but they were at one
point at a normal level and then it just all
crumbled for them and they kind of gave up and
had a little tantrum. I think we're looking at the meltdown,
like I could see why that happened. East person needs
to be better. It's real quick. Did you see Augasol
had a daughter? Yeah, the middle Land? That's real sweet.
You made me think of it with Kobe, and I
know how big of Kobe Fancy two are so pau

(21:26):
Gasol with the Bryant family is like nothing stirs some
motions in me quite like it's just you know, it's
such a tragedy and then to see like, oh wow,
basketball is a community and this it is a brotherhood
and it is a family, and it's just really it's
just so beautiful and part of it is like Pow

(21:48):
is so funny looking like you know, he looks like
a Disney care he looks like the candlestick a little
bit in Beauty and the Beast, and so he's got
any he's Spanish. I almost was like, well, but it's
it's not that. But like the foreign and the and
the tall, it's all great. I love it, um, Joe,
give us your number two pick. A number two pick

(22:10):
is a minor league manager of the Mississippi Braves. Megan
likes this one. I can see who famously was ejected
from a game. This was in two thousand six or
two thousand seven, And I love a good manager one.
There's so many good ones. Obviously Blue Panella has a
bunch in Bobby Cox or some really famous ones who
went off back in the day to This one is

(22:31):
particularly great because not only does he throw every base possible,
he covers home play up with all the like the
sand around the in the batter's box, covers like barries
homeplay like a little child. Then he goes behind the
pictures mound and starts doing an army crawl towards the
pictures mound. It's the rosin bag, bites it like it's

(22:51):
a grenade and throws the rosin bag at the umpire
like a grenade, and it lands at the umpire speed.
The umpire doesn't move a muscle. He's I'm just gonna
let this guy keep hamming it up for Sports Center.
And then on his way out, he leaves through center field,
so he walks through the outfield and he kind of
does like a whole Cogan, like revving up the crowd
a little bit, pumping it up. And at that moment,

(23:12):
I remember thinking myself, this man is a star. He's
a legend. His name is Phil Wellman, and he has
his own Wikipedia page and it is dedicated entirely to
this meltdown. This is the this is the timeline. Uh,
this was my number one pick. That's how I. If
I had like Phil Wellman tattooed to my arm, we'll
be worried. He covers home play with dirt. He throws

(23:35):
third base into the outfield, he armored, crawls to the
pitching mound, throws the chalk back like a grenade, and
then on his way out, he picks up second base
and takes it with him. He left with second base,
and the strangest thing is that all of the us
are just standing there doing nothing. Like I feel like
in baseball we see umps that are like, oh, you're

(23:56):
gonna get in my face, I'm gonna get in base
even more, like they get like hyped for it. And
I don't know if this minor league crew was different,
but they're just standing watching like an off Broadway show,
and they seemed perfectly fine with everything that's happening. I
guess I'm happy they didn't stop him because it is
burned in my memory and and it's I know it's

(24:19):
a man freaking out, but it's like so delightful and
funny that I think it's like a lighthearted meltdown. Yeah,
definitely lighthearted and definitely yeah. I think he started to
like really ham it up a little bit there, but
that's what made fun to me. It was great that
it was a minor league manager because the minor leagues
always have this, Like anyone who's ever sing the movie

(24:39):
Bull Durham knows, the minor leagues always have like sideshow stuff.
They've got like silly nights. They'll have like a Star
Wars night where they encourage people to bring their own lightsabers,
and they have like, you know, they have these mascots
that are really just like drunks that they just give
five bucks to to go dance on a dugout, And
it's just there's a lot of theatrics to minor league baseball.
So that's why I was like, all right, it's kind
of cool that they said keep going with it, but

(25:01):
you knew he was mentally gone at the same time.
I mean, yeah, with also a minor league baseball and
just everything we've been told her, Like we've seen documentaries
like how worth it is it for anyone if there
isn't potential like moving up, like you're just gonna snap
at certain points. So again, like I totally get why
he did this. Oh yeah, I bet to his players.

(25:22):
He's like a hero too. Like so I wonder if
he was a theater major in college because it's really
like when he's army crawling, you're like, what is he?
Oh my god? And then you like he had a vision.
It had it had a full arc of a story.
He blew the man up. It's just so funny and good.

(25:43):
That was my number one pick, So I'm gonna do
a little reworking. Um. My number two pick is the
John McEnroe Wimbledon. John McEnroe much like Tony Stewart without
the manslaughter, has a law long history of freaking out,
and in tennis that's the antithesis of what they want

(26:07):
and what they think is to corm especially at Wimbledon,
like you have to wear all white. There's strawberries, there's cream.
Everyone's really quiet and rich. And he it was his
first first round match. He went on to win the tournament,
so he's obviously heavily favored. He gets uh served called
out and then he utters his famous line you cannot

(26:31):
be serious, and is yelling that at the lines judge,
and then is screaming to everyone in the stadium and
just keep saying it over and over again. I think
he was penalized like one point, went on to win
the match, and this incident became so infamous that he
named his biography you Cannot be Serious, the John mcinreh story.

(26:53):
It's great. I was waiting for him to get up.
He's the post your boy from meltdowns. When everyone thinks
of a mouthdown, it goes right back to McEnroe. I
think Megan and I are particularly fond of him. The
fact that he looks like you could be one of
our uncles. I's got the whole irish thing that we
got going on, and yeah, the you cannot be serious
is just such a perfect thing to say do an
official like are you know? It's like are you You're

(27:17):
a joke? And he would for the most is he
has then made his whole post tennis career off of that.
He's embraced it. So if you're a psycho listening to
this podcast right now, get help, but also embrace it.
The first step to doll the problem isn't meanting you
have one, and then you could go from there. Yeah,
I think like Happy Gilmore was based off of him.

(27:38):
I mean, like you know, and like you talk about
someone who embraced it afterwards or made their career like
Barkley outspoken, like these are guys who they were like
I'm gonna continue to be myself in the game, and
then when they retired and now they have very front
facing careers after that. I was on a zoom call
with John McEnroe recently. You don't need he my camera

(28:00):
was off, but my name was there, Okay, so like
I was. There were only three of us and my
camera was off, but he felt me for sure, and
he was he my presence, honey, And he was saying
that he almost feels bad for the tennis stars of
today because he was kind of not by the sport,

(28:21):
but by outside forces and cool people encourage, like, be
yourself if this is how you express yourself, break a
fucking racket, who cares do do funny things like be
a rock star within your sport. And he feels like, now,
I mean, Federer wouldn't kill a spider, you know, like they,
I mean, Djocovic smashed a woman's esophagus, so he's got

(28:42):
a little psycho in there. But but tennis, really it's
turned and if you see someone do what McEnroe did
back then, now it's like, up, they're terrible. And he's like,
I feel like they've been robbed of getting to be
fully insane. It's definitely a sport that you encourage more
personality because I feel like the most you hear about

(29:04):
a lot of tennis stars is who they're dating. And
you know, it went from McEnroe to Agassi, who was
like fun tennis player, a little overrated, but he was like,
oh I wear silly hats and this is the early
nine I mean code commercials. But yeah, they definitely need
another guy that's like a happy Gilmore. You need someone
where it's like this guy's not from your country club,

(29:25):
but not Jocovic, Like he took it, Yeah, yeah, he
took it too far. But there was a guy who
because they come out with those like giant bags and
so you have like three or four rackets in there
in case you break a string. And there was a
guy a few years ago who broke, like on purpose,
smashed every single one of his rackets on the ground

(29:47):
and having I I broke a racket, smashed it on
the ground in front of my parents when I was
a teen, and it felt so fucking good. But then
I like looked up and I see my parents and
there I can just like see how much the racket
costs in their eyes, you know, like they're like, what
do you You're losing your freshman Matt. It's just in't Wimbledon,
Like you just cost me two hundred and seventy dollars

(30:09):
a little bit, But but I got any one but
one racket was on today and I'm not realizing. Seinfeld
as a TV show had two full episodes that were
tennis theme. Kramer as the US Open ball boy, Yes,
there's yeah kramer Is the ball Boy was hysterical, and
then another one where Elaine let a boss borrow a
racket and they'd like try to get it back. And

(30:29):
I'm thinking, man Seinfeld, first stand up comedian, he must
have been so unrelatable to all those other Manhattan comedians.
He's going to tennis, he's doing all this other He
was in LA at that point, so he was probably
these are probably l A stories seeping in. Yeah, definitely
like rich guy stuff. It doesn't doesn't give that Manhattan
upper west side guy type of vibe to me. He
looks he has like the shoes of someone who likes tennis.

(30:52):
Um and I mean that offensively. Okay, c J, give
us your number two, my number two. I'm surprised this
when this didn't make your listening honorable mention Megan Bobby
Knight against Perdue in something like that. But and I
still don't know if this was the one time he
did or if he had done this a few times.
But he had several meltdowns. But this one is the

(31:14):
chair threw a chair onto the court, which then was
just like parodied or like other people when they wanted
to have like fake meltdowns did as like an homage.
But Bobby Knight is I think king of I guess
meltdowns for coaching. He really is. No, That's why I
actually like fully forgot. I didn't know he wasn't and
it was against Perdue. Did you know that? I did

(31:36):
know that well. And Bobby Knights a classic example of
someone who behaved poorly for decades and then he ended
up being fired because I think he shoved a student
who was not a basketball player, which I think if
it had been ten years earlier, they would have be
like all right, but it really felt like it was
like the final straw. And then he went to Texas

(31:59):
Tech and he act like a psycho there too. Yeah,
for with the shoving a student, Yes, it's terrible. I'm
sure they were just like it's been too much of this,
like let's let's start fresh. This is the last straw.
And remember the kid was like he was walking and
was like hey, Night like addressed him in a way
that he found disrespectful, and it's like, yeah, I'm sure

(32:20):
this kid wanted to get a rise out of you.
Like if you see if you're twenty and you see
a famous psycho, you're like, I'm gonna get this guy,
and then he did. What I don't know about the
chair toss was how much the chair was already folded
and it slid perfectly across the court. You know what
I mean? It was almost like what shuffle board like
if you would have like had a twenty points if

(32:43):
I get this far. There was no like awkwardness about it,
because a lot of times you throw a chair, it's
not like a graceful thing to throw. But that thing
was like perfectly split out, like you would have been
great at that Canadian game what's it called curling or whatever.
Now you you did some tablework your wedding. You smashed
a table. I love how these stories go to um.

(33:05):
You remember when I got into it with another comedian.
I'll admit this everybody, your wedding. I'm gonna get to
the wedding real quickly. But I love how stories get
like I smashed. I didn't smash the table, but howevery
takes on a life of its own with meltdown stories.
I once pushed a comedian and there was one step
behind him, went down one step. Two days later everyone's

(33:27):
telling me, I heard you thrown down six flights of stairs.
What's going on? Um Drew Michael, everybody, I'll throw the
name out that some gossip for the listeners. Uh yeah.
But also word to the wise, don't talk ship when
you're standing in front of stairs. That's a classic crazy
man phrase. The table incident about and my wedding, the

(33:48):
DJ who was recommended from other people. I saw him
at other weddings and thought, this guy's good, will go
with him. The week of my wedding was like, m
I A. I couldn't get ahold of him. He obviously
showed up, but was like, hey, had some email exchanges
that you didn't follow through, and he's like, no, I
got We're good. I had to do not playlist c J.
You guys had a great band in retrospect. That's the

(34:08):
way to go, because you could be like, hey, don't
hit that fucking note. DJ plays a song, it's being played.
I do not playlist and a must playlist. I had
already heard two songs and they do not playlist. So
I'm already like getting mad, even though I'm still having
a good time. Then I looked at the clock and
I'm like, we had twenty minutes left, and I need
to hear about nine songs on the must playlist. And

(34:28):
there was a little high top bar table, not a
table that people would sit at, but a table that
you just kind of rest your drink upon. And I
just kind of like give it a quick flip and
looked over and I think like one of my wife's
uncles was like, hey, hey, you know, And so a
few people got upset, but not enough where most people
who saw it were like Joe, even on his wedding,

(34:49):
this guy likes on brand, right, Well, yeah, because you
want someone to feel comfortable enough on their wedding they
to be who they are, and if that means flipping
a cocktail table, then that's what it means. It was
a really fun wedding. Uh, let's take a break and
we'll be right back with our number one picks. And

(35:16):
we are back with our number one picks, and oh
I'm first. Wow. Okay, so I had to do some
movie around, so I don't have any honorable mention. So
my number one pick is Mike Tyson fill in the
blank biting Evander Holyfield's ear. June seven, they are in

(35:41):
their heavyweight rematch and during the third round, Tyson bites
his ear he had had a biting history too, Like
I didn't realize that he was a biter um. He
ended up being disqualified, he got like a chunk of
it out. I mean, it's very strange and terrifying. He

(36:02):
ended up being disqualified suspended from boxing, but that didn't
stop his meteoric continued rise to fame, and that pisces
me off. Hem I like, I get it at listen.
I know that there's people that like Mike Tyson. We
seem to really forget that he was convicted of reaping

(36:24):
a woman. And I don't think we need him anymore.
I I hangover fuck you every It's just like everything
that he touches to me is tarnished. And I hear
people in the sports world who I really really respect
speak positively about him, and it really pisces me off. So, yeah,

(36:45):
he sucks, and I just don't understand how he keeps
It's like he has a face tattoo. He was so
funny in this movie. It's like, Wow, have you forgotten
every single thing? Joe? I'm so happy to see you
shaking your head in agreement with me. I don't know
if you remember. I used to have a joke where
I talked about how people were saying that, like remember
when Tiger Woods cheated on his wife a bunch of times,

(37:07):
there was like a poll on CNN, will America forgive him?
And I'm like, forgive them? I mean we forgave Ray
Lewis you forgave Mike Mike Tyson, Like, literally, you're right,
you said he was convicted of rape. I almost wanted
to do these people forget about it because yeah, he
bid someone zero if he was a rapist, And it
is insane to me how everyone just forgets about that,
especially in today's climate. And I almost wonder if it's

(37:31):
just people ignoring it because he was so dominant. I
think I don't even think it's boxing related. I think
they think he is like a funny entertainer. I love
p t I. It is like the basis of everything.
I listened to it every single day on the podcast,
and they love him in a way that I'm like,

(37:51):
you guys are usually like pretty good, especially the stuff
that's been going on right now, and it angs me
and it makes me want to like contact them and
be like please stop. Mike Tyson's son, who I know
is innocent in all of this is an intern for them,
Like they say, Mike Tyson, They're like, he is the

(38:12):
most entertaining, charismatic, likable athlete of all time, and I'm like,
I'm I on an alternate land it. I think what's
happened is because we watched him for a decade be
this incredible fighter, and then that stuff had happened, and
then he came back as like a pop culture cameo

(38:34):
and they're like, look at him, He's funny. He's kind
of like he's like reformed. But I don't know there
was no ever like process really of like any sort
of like reformation or like you know, lessons learned. But
I think that's why it was like at one point
we were all scared of him, but now he's like
a tiger that you could put your hand in his
mouth and listen. I don't want to be called a

(38:55):
hypocrite because we obviously talked about Kobe earlier in the episode,
and Kobe had a very similar bad, bad, bad thing happened,
and I think through his death we've learned how remorseful
he was and how much he admitted fault in that situation.

(39:20):
And I don't even want to bring in like he
wasn't convicted, because it's like that actually doesn't matter at
the end of the day. It's it's how you react
from that. And I think Kobe took it and said,
I'm going to be an amazing father. And I admit
to this woman that I thought one thing was happening,
but another thing was happening and I and I did
rape her, and I and I'm like so sorry for that.

(39:43):
I know this is like getting heavy, but like because
I guess it's similar in that in that instance, but
they're so dissimilar in how they handled it afterwards. I
don't think being cast in a movie is is a redemption.
I don't think that means you show remorse. I think
working for women's basketball and for your daughters, and for

(40:05):
doing everything in your power to uplift the women in
your life, and when all the women around you say
and can vouch for you, I think that is actual
redemption and it does not erase it, but at least
it's a path forward. And I don't think Mike Tyson
has done anything to deserve the path forward that he's
been granted. Yeah, I agree, he didn't atone for anything.

(40:27):
I feel like he didn't do nearly enough jail time
for it. He comes back from it has the mouthdown
of the biting the ear thing. I mean this was
after he was after this big comeback in a big
store comeback. He was a voice on a Simpsons episode.
I believe afterwards too, and um, yeah, because I think
it was like he was in jail. I'm not exactly positive.

(40:49):
I hope I'm not wrong. And then the Holy Field
thing was the comeback because everyone was like, this fight
should have happened in their primes. They were both a
little bit older, so that was like the whole thing.
That's I think the whole story of everybody match. These
two should have fought five years ago, but he got
on the way or whatever. But yeah, I agree with you, Pcent.
I think Kobe, yeah, it was a horrible thing, but
it seems like every decision in his life afterwards was

(41:11):
to atone for that. And yeah, with a lot of
giving back where I've not really seen that. I think
you said it best. CJ has become like a character
and everyone just acts like he's this lovable cartoon, but
I don't really see him that way either. I'm glad
that I'm on an alternate planet. But at least you
guys are here with me. That makes me feel better
because I thought I was just truly living on Mars.

(41:33):
But I got some good ones. All right, Okay, c J,
you you give us your number one. That was gonna
be my number one pick. We should have talked to
each other before, but that's what happens. But I thought
c J was just gonna pick. I don't someone you know,
throwing a pizza at someone three times. Well, now my
alternate pick, which is no, is by no means I

(41:53):
think that my number one. But I want to mention
the Knicks in a way like at some point when
we talked about melt sounds like I think there's a
few things, but the couple that I remember is want
to get. I think the Knicks. I think John Starks
sort of melting down physically in his performance, and Spike
Lee like the whole choking that that was like one.
But and then there was one in two thousand twelve

(42:14):
that I always loved too. Whenever the game is over
and like someone messed up, I love hearing the stories
like in the locker room. So this one is after
I think the game too. Two thousand twelve first round
Knicks heat, and this is the season that Jeremy Lynn
played for the Knicks had li insanity but then got
hurt and Carmelo and Amari we're back, and Amari punched

(42:38):
a fire extinguisher and took himself out of the series.
And then a few years later, Lebron punched a chalkboard
after I think it was the two thousand eighteen finals.
It was after the j r. Which is kind of
like a brain meltdown, which, um so I just it's
and you talked about early just as like a general

(42:58):
example of just players punching things, like we just love
to punch things or punch a hole in the wall,
and yeah, I just like when it's a specific object,
like a fire extinguisher. So I just wanted to mention
that by no means the greatest, but it was a
fun one to mention. Well, I think the Knicks are
a great pick because they are sort of a organizational
melt down. They feel like they feel like they're in

(43:21):
free fall, but they've been that way for now decades,
Like at some point are they gonna hit the ground?
They just keeping like and they never splat, which I
guess is good for them that they don't splat, but
who being a fan of there seems very difficult. Exhausting, Yeah, exhausting.
John Starks did headbut a lot of headbuts in the

(43:43):
sports meltdown world, So honorable mention to all the headbuts
out there. All right, Joe, why don't you bring us
home with your number one pick? Alright? My number one
definitely feels like a little too Chicago for me. But
this guy was like a hero of mine for a
good few years there. Megan, you probably had a run
in with him when you were in turning from BC

(44:04):
Sports Chicago. It's one Carlos Brono, I had a run
in with Zambrano's cousin. You can't just leave us on
that one. What was he just like stared at my
butt intensely when I was in the locker room and
and but I remember being like who is that? And
they were like, Simbrono's cousin, Like, where the fund is
he even here? Cousin? Yeah, who cares? That's like the

(44:24):
worst part of the entourage. A cousin turtle turtle looked
at your ass. So Zimbrono had a game in which
he did everything you could do as a baseball player.
It was a play at the plate after giving up
a big lead, and the Cubs were released scuffling. At
this point it looked bang bang umpire called him safe.
Sombrono immediately pointed at the umpire like, I think you.

(44:48):
You said, are you you blind? Piece of fucking ship?
You pretty much? I don't know how you guys are
swearing on this podcast, but it's exactly what he said.
You could read his lips clear as hell. Um objects him. Zimbrono,
of than does the allium out of the game. No,
your game, that's like you get from me because I quit.
That's that equivalent. Then Zimbrono takes the baseball. Now, mind

(45:10):
you he has a round home plate. He chucks it
into the bleacher really like sixty ft throw, which is like, look,
pictures have strong arms, so it's not like unheard of
to be that strong. Trevor Bauer last year in a
game throw the ball from the mound over the center
field wall in Kansas City, which that's a good mountdown.
Two people shall look that up. He's he's had kind

(45:32):
of like a fun track after that. Well, what I
loved about the Bauer thing and I'll get back to Zerrano.
Terry Francona comes out and he's already like what the
fun was that? Like before he even gets to the mound,
and and Bauer puts his hand on Francona's shoulder, me
like I'm really sorry. And then they traded him like
two days later. But Zimbrono then goes into the dugout

(45:53):
does the classic See you're talking about punching a fire extinguisher.
Punching is always hilarious. He boxes the water the gatorade
I remember this now, and then threw some balls onto
the field, went into the dug out. He didn't fight
a teammate this time, but Simbrono was notorious for fighting.
You got to fight with Derek Lee and Michael Barrett.

(46:14):
He gave like nine stitches in the mouth to Brono
was like a six ft five inch two hundred like
sixty pound he was. He's the tight end in the NFL.
The picture in a Psycho And then in the post game,
they asked the Cubs manager at the time, who do
I believe was Louke Panella, who's pretty famous for Yeah,
they said, uh, what did you talk to big does Zambrano,

(46:38):
what a big z have to say? And he said, oh,
he says he's retiring favorite of melt do because that's
I've done the whole I've had that on stage where
I go, you know what, I should have taken the
Fireman's test. I hate all your people, and I told
times when I've had those mouthdowns, like none of you
are fucking special, and CO go to a ghost, your band,

(47:00):
your losers, and then like you walk off and you
tell the other producers, I'm never I'm never doing this.
I relate to the this was so bad. I can
never show my face in this world again. What what
is it about baseball where you're allowed to just have
like the game is slow and like because dugout, freak
outs and meltdowns are always on eleven, like just crazy

(47:23):
c J. I really think it's because it's every day.
They see each other every day for a hundred and
sixty games. Spring training now starts in mid February, and
a regular non global pandemic year starts in like early February.
Pitchers and catchers report mid February, and then if you're
a good team, you're going through October every day. So

(47:43):
I think like when things start to go bad and
it's a hard sport, it's not like basketball or football
where your athleticism could overcome some stuff. In baseball, if
you're something, it's over I also think in the dugout,
there's so many props, Like there's balls to throw, They're
like there's just in basketball you see someone you know,

(48:03):
get like a gatorade bottle and chuck it or a towel.
But like baseball, their shelves in there, you know, like
they can just they can funk it up like they're
in someone's home. Almost. Yeah, Zambrano lou Panella, like, I
honestly feel honored that I even got to be around
that era of Chicago baseball because obviously what was happening

(48:23):
on the South Side was pure craziness too. Between I mean,
Ozzie Gien and Jay Mariotti could have their own greatest
Meltdown list. It was really a fun time of psychos,
but innocent psychos. Yeah, I thought about like maybe and
Azzi Gian never turned it off. He was always that
for a true meltdown, you have to have moments where

(48:45):
you seem level headed and then you just go off
the deep end. So I almost felt like Azzi Gian
was someone I kind of avoided. Ronner tests. I'm surprising
of us threw him out there. I think, yeah, he's
they have malice. I don't think that's a meltdown. I
think he had something thrown at him and he reacted

(49:05):
to it. Everyone. Yeah, thank you. See knows where my
where my allegiance lies. Um Joe, you'll love this. I
today was the first day I left the house in
four days, and the you know how it gets out here,
but it's it's worse right now. Guys, if you are
able to I know there's a lot of things to

(49:26):
help right now, but if there's any way you can
help the Red Cross with the wildfires out here. I
bring that up to say I did drive by Dodger Stadium.
The visibility is very very bad right now, especially like
higher up in the air, and I saw not one
but two planes circling Dodger Stadium with signs making fun
of the astros who are in town. So they said,

(49:49):
you know what, we may not be able to see,
but we gotta get these puppies in the air, And
the one that I was able to read said good
luck stealing this sign. Astros che ers, um, and I
just love that even in the midst of a terrible
natural disaster and global pandemic, we still find a way

(50:09):
to say fuck you to the Astros. And that's actually
what America needs right now. Damn straight. We don't need
a government that helps assistance. We need more people shooting
on the Astros because that comes from the right place.
You know, you cheated, you stole, fuck you. We could
all get on the right side of that. How are
they able to keep that World serious championship? Because baseball
is Look, it's one of my favorite sports, but it

(50:31):
is run by the dumbest human beings. Actually, someone plowed
the idea of theo Epstein take being come from in
the next Commissioner of Baseball, because he's what else did
the Epstein need to accomplish? I mean, Cleveland Indians having
won the World season seven years. I guess you could
go there and say that fan base, they're just running
my stupid people. And I agree with you, Megan, it's
nice that we're coming together over this. What is particularly

(50:52):
awesome is it seems like everyone that the Astros wronged
is having a great year. The Dodgers are dominating you.
Darvish was on my beloved Cubs. He got they cheated
against him, he got they crushed him in that World
Series and they did. Remember this is I can do
this for you guys. Remember the one guy did the
I thing. He didn't do it. You didn't you didn't

(51:16):
do it. I was saying the record, Joe did not
do it. He just he said I and held it in.
I just want to make sure it's a podcast. Joe
is a good man. Yeah, yeah, I didn't actually do it.
I was trying to remind I didn't know what to
call that. What do you call that? A visual slur?
Thank you to the visual slur things. So you darbish
like that was a bad World Series for me to

(51:38):
deal with all the questions about how do you feel
about this guy insulting your heritage too. I don't know
what happened. I was one of the best pitchers in baseball,
and it's like they know what's coming. So the Cubs
signed the following year. He went from that World Series
to the Cubs. He was terrible his first year with
the Cubs because he was trying to fix a problem
that didn't exist. He thought he had like he thought

(51:59):
he was tipping his page Jesse. He goes, there must
be something like mechanics that tell the hitter when a
curveball's coming, so I have to change the way I
pitch because I'm gonna get rocked. It turns out no,
they were using high technology to cheat against you, and
now that Darvish knows that, since the Astros have been exposed,
Darvish is seven and two with like the he's like
second in the league. In the r A, he's like

(52:20):
second and straight. He's like a cy young candidate, and
it's awesome to see because all these people were like, oh,
he's done, when really he was just a victim of
a cheating scandal. It's like when you're doing a show
and you're like, god, I'm really they just do not
like me, and you're like what am I doing wrong?
And then you like go back to the green room
and they're like, oh, you know, everybody's from Sweden and

(52:40):
you're like, well, what the funk? I didn't know everybody
was from So now I feel so much better. I
thought I was terrible at comedy. They don't speak English,
so I'm actually fine and that yeah, I relate to you.
Darvish in that way. I'm I'm happy he's having a
redemption story. Yeah. The Astros what a representation of a
lot of things that's wrong. And I loved that little

(53:02):
guy all to bay. I wanted to put him in
my pocket, carry him around. I thought it was so
freaking isn't he I think he's up there. I think
he's breaking up there. Joe, where can our listeners find you?
I know our listeners will in your podcast on all
of your social media. Yeah, so I have a podcast
was called kill Gowns pub it's still kind of is.

(53:22):
I just call it the Joe kill Gown Podcast now,
just to make it easier for people to search, kind
of recreate bar conversations. Both c J and Megan have
been on and they've been fantastic. And I also my
YouTube channel. I put a lot of I upload a
lot of videos, podcast clips, a ton of like almost
three hours of stand up clips are on there now
and TikTok. I post less stuff on TikTok my Twitter.

(53:43):
If you're looking for comedy, don't go to Twitter, because
I just tweet about the Cubs now, Cubs recap, c
J and I watch your He'll go. We got a
New Cubs recap. So today's was kind of funny because
the Bears had just won the no hitter happened, and
I like four or five friends in my garage, and um,
they're all yelling like Danny Collis and Bobby Buds are
yelling Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself like in the background,

(54:04):
and they're just being idiots. Okay, uh, final final thoughts,
what do you think the Bears record is going to be? Honestly,
I was hoping for four and twelve and we could
get the first pick. I want that Lawrence going to
be the quarterback. I don't think mix Robinsky is ever
gonna be consistent of quarterback to win playoff games. I

(54:26):
don't think Naggi is the guy either there. So the
quicker we figure this out and restart pace is not
a good GM. He's made some decent mid round draft picks,
but he's first round picks have been busts. And yeah,
I'm just kind of done with this era of Bears football.
So even though I want them to win every game,
I'm not holding out high hopes. Okay, you're you're hoping

(54:47):
for a few wins. That's the thing with like With baseball,
it's such a long season you just kind of hope
for you can get lightning in a bottle. And football,
once you're owing three, that's your season essentially, and then
you have to sit through fifteen more weeks of just
bad football. So I don't really and it's not like fun.
Like basketball, we could root for individuals to take over.
I love Allen Robinson, but we have a bad quarterback,

(55:09):
so I'm not expecting Allen Robinson to put up great stats,
where in basketball some guy could just take over and
be like, my team sucks, but I'm gonna put thirty tonight.
It's just yeah. So that's why football, when your team
is bad, it's it's rough. And I'm not doing fantasy football.
And this year neither I said no to all of it.
Um but Bears are one of no though, so they're
already disappointing. You were even disappointing you even through winning,

(55:30):
and I think that's really beautiful. You can find me
at Megan Gaily at Better Megan Gaily on Instagram. They'll
be all new bubble Machine on Thursday. C J at
CJ told on Everything and yeah, I just be tweeting
you be tweeting, We're just happy to be here, happy
to do this show for you guys. Please rate, Please

(55:52):
write the reviews. I love those. A man mentioned my
voice in it, said it was good. You should read
YouTube because they disagree. Write anything you want, Hello, fuck you,
the culture terrible. I hope Philip Rivers nine kids beat
you up anything. I just like, I just want to correspond.
Put a message in a bottle. Thank you so much
for listening. Please be safe and make sure you're registered

(56:15):
to vote, and we will see you next week. The
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