Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Greatest, a production of I Heart Radio. Hello,
and welcome to another episode of the Greatest. Do you
feel like I sort of through the Hello away? What
do you mean Hello? Like I needed to do it? Whatever. Yeah,
(00:23):
we're still trying to perfect the Hello. I think it's no.
I'm just I'm Megan Galium here with c J. Toladano.
We're obviously reeling. We have that Pro Bowl hangover. Um
we us Oh my god, we said we gotta get
our eyes on every single piece of Pro Bowl content. Um, no,
it's nothing. There's no more embarrassing event in sports. I
(00:45):
have been to one. Everyone who I saw there I
would describe as mentally unwell, real quick, I'm I'm not
gonna I'm not saying this because it is still our work.
But like I do like the idea of the Pro Bowl.
I like the skills. I like the skills challenge, Dodgeball,
tic tech. To love a new you love a new jersey,
(01:05):
new Jersey. You know I've bought. I have a Pro
Bowl bucket. Hat I have the problem is that it's
just I don't like the timing. I don't like the
it's it's not important in the eyes of a lot
of sports people. But one day we will return to
glory with the Bowl. I'm roasting it. And this year
I voted for it. I think the fan voting I created.
I created an NFL dot com screen name and log
(01:27):
in so I could vote for Kennymore who did not
get it out. There were all these guys I voted for,
and then they were also Rodrigo. No Rodrigo. Of course
I voted for Rodrigo. There were also cults players that
I didn't vote for. I said, not your year. So
I felt like I was like a good voter. And
now here I am shooting on it. He'll be back
next year. We'll be back, hopefully in a normal next year.
(01:49):
And now we're we're in the big week, super Bowl week.
It's a little different, but like we are near the
finish line of a not as rocky as I thought
NFL season. Definitely stuff in the how, but we are here.
I think there's been so much else going on that
you are ignoring the rockiness of it. Um. We are
so excited to have our guests today. I have been
(02:10):
friends with her and a fan of hers for as
long as I can remember being in comedy. We talk
a lot about Cleveland on this show. You may not
know this. We did a Greatest Cleveland Sports Moments and
we've only ever done a Chicago one. Like we ride
hard for Cleveland and our guest is no exception to that.
Cleveland's own Cleveland's Funniest is always voted that Mary Santra,
(02:35):
please welcome. Hi. Oh hi, guys, thank you for having me.
I uh, I would have I've got to tune in
and listen to that Cleveland's Best Moments that I I
feel like that is something that I'm missing from my life,
even though I lived all of them. I'd love to
hear what you guys. Yeah, it was equal parts um,
sad and triumphant, which is a lot of Cleveland sports talk. Yeah,
(02:57):
we had a fun choice on and we and he
is a father of two and works full time, and
we were like, how can we pick a topic for
him that will just be things that are off the
top of his head. And that's how Greatest Cleveland Moments
was born. Um Mary. Mary is joining us today because
she has a brand new album coming out. It's already
(03:17):
available for pre order. It's called hill Billy Bougie, which
I love you are is so fun to you are
in your in Cleveland right now, You're a huge Browns
and Indians fan. How are you just feeling overall? Honestly,
it's so funny because I was like, the way that
(03:38):
the Browns year went, I was like, this is incredible.
And I'm an optimistic person to a fault, Like I
am so positive and glasses have full all the time
that when we started winning consistently, I'm like, you guys
don't understand you. You get on Twitter, which is like
the worst place when you're a positive person, and everyone's
crying and bitching. I'm like, you guys are I think
the first week when I was like, you guys are
(03:59):
acting like the Cleveland Browns aren't seven and four right now?
Get out of here, you know. So to me as
a Browns fan and someone who has been a Browns
fan for so long, I'm so excited just for us
to have this season, for us to be on the
same page as a team, Like I don't people overlook
it and they want more and they want more, which
is great, but I'm like, but when you are such
(04:20):
a loyal fan to such a terrible team for so long,
it's like any little glimmer of hope is the best.
So as I'm so happy with the season. I love
how it went. I mean, obviously you want it to
go further, but like I'm a very content, very happy fan. Well,
I mean, this is their motion picture sees it, you know,
like they never came a lot. I always remember as
(04:40):
a kid watching Major League, which is one of my
favorite movies, and they'd be like they won the Pennant
and I remember asking my dad like, oh, did they
win the World Series? He was like, no, this is
just to go to the World Series. And I'm like, what,
I want to see them and it's like, that's not
what it's about when your team is so historically bad.
It's about being there, and that is the championship. For
(05:01):
me personally, it was like beating the Steelers in Pittsburgh
like that, you don't understand what that beat like beating him,
Oh my god. And this is I don't want this
to sound as morbid as it is, but the view
of Big Ben at the end, crying with the Brown
Steelers score and knowing that he's in his hometown. That
(05:23):
was the screensaver on my phone until my dad died.
That was the only thing that changed it for me
was I was like, all right, I'll change you to
a picture of my dad died. But man, just looking
at that every time I picked up my phone brings
a smile to your face. I'm so happy that your
dad got that memory, you know, yes, to see that.
I mean, I'm I've been following your social media and
(05:45):
i know how much your dad meant to see. J's
dad is also passed. So it's it's it's devastating, and
I've been so sad for you. But even hearing that,
I'm like, I'm so happy you got to see the
Browns win a playoff game. Dude, you don't like that. One.
Is the last text conversation that my dad and I had.
He was in the I see you and the last
like back and forth was about how happy he was
(06:08):
that the Browns one. And he's like, I've never seen it.
He's you know, he's fifty nine years old, six years old.
He's like, I've never seen that in my life. For
us to win a playoff game in in Pittsburgh. Big
Ben has won the most games in Brown Stadium like
of any quarterback of all time. So that just went including, Yeah,
(06:29):
the ones that have played for us. He's the winning
quarterback of Brown Stadium. Um, so I'm very happy with
I'm very content and not only looking forward for more.
You know. That's amazing. Mary. Now, you used to work
at a sports bar and I did too. You were
a server or a bartender. Bartender, do you miss those days?
(06:51):
We're all not for one second. There was a time,
right I I quit bartending altogether in two dozen nineteen,
so it's only been a couple of years now, Um,
but there was a time when I was really struggling
to get used to like a regular paycheck because I'm
on radio now, so having like essentially an office job
where it's like, you know, regular set hours and I
(07:12):
get paid every two weeks. So like that part of it,
not having cash took a while to get used to.
But like not having to deal with people or there
are like pretty much no outside forces on my mood
every day. It's amazing. It makes me so happy that
I just don't have to. And I'm sure you get
this as a woman, to like trying to cut off
a grown man at ten in the morning because he
(07:34):
just came from tailgating, and like being a twenty two
year old girl. They're looking at me. I'm like, dude,
I'm just trying to do my job, Like, please, please
don't make this hart of me. Yeah, I mean, I'm
sure you can relate to this too. And I've brought
it up on the show before. My comments on the
internet to my comedy are horrible. I don't even know
if I've seen someone who's comments are as bad as mine. Whatever,
but I'm like a man has called me, to my
(07:57):
face a dump cunt when I wouldn't give him a beer.
So it's like it truly prepares you for trolls online
because part of my closing duties when I was a bartender,
it was I would have to go into the men's
bathroom and wipe coke off of the toilet paper dispenser.
And it's like, listen, I got a four year degree, Okay,
I didn't think I was gonna be here with not love,
(08:19):
not glove, just my little white hand wiping cocaine everywhere.
And that's where you find yourself. And and like sometimes
like just giant platters of not chos will make me
nostalgic for it, or like I'll see something. There's decorations
that are only ever in bars, you know those like
really cheap beer decoration, the beer decorations and the beer coasters.
(08:44):
Like sometimes I'll see those and be like a little like,
oh god, I remember putting those up for people to
poke on. I mean, those are the backgrounds to a
lot of our comedy shows. Before I was like not,
but yeah, that's like comedy show aesthetic, a bud light
like uh St Patrick's day covers, like you gotta deck
(09:05):
it out for every single holiday. I'm like, nobody cares.
Everybody's so drunk. No, no, no, I was just gonna
say that. I always said that the only reason I'm
any good at crowd work. There's two factors to that.
One is I did about a year and a half
straight of cold thirty minute opens where it was just
me and the headliner, and I'd be like in casinos
(09:27):
in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. So it's like, that's
gonna make you good at crowd work. And then bartending
for most of my adult life will also make you
good at just like that quick back and forth. That
is the only skill I feel like I've taken that
I still use. And being just in Cleveland, like we
talked about this all the time. Like in Chicago, they
would just turn off a TV and be like, okay,
the show starting, and it was like, oh my god,
(09:49):
like cops who are drunk and mad at you and
you're just like hello, hi, and they're like mad. Black
cows are not anymore. And in New York I remember
being like, oh no, I've lost my skill of like
fighting with people until they listen to me. I like,
it's so funny because there's been I mean, as even
(10:12):
when Cleveland has been historically terrible, they would cancel shows
because of games, like I know that that's not a
place I think that is. I do do do do
because I'm like, there's no reason for us to be
fighting with a Browns playoff game right now. Canceled this show,
no one is coming. Chicago would always cancel, and then
you moved to New York. Nothing would be canceled out here. Nothing, no, nothing.
(10:37):
I mean maybe Dodgers stuff, but we just haven't been
able to experience that. In l A. It's like everything
they're just like, oh, it'll start after that. So like
there would be playoff baseball games and they would end
at like nine, which is midnight East Coast time, but
like nine pm after a sporting event is not when
you want to start doing comedy for men. Like that's
(11:00):
who's left in these bars. It's just drunk. So that, yeah,
just cancel it. It doesn't There should be nothing entertaining
on the day of the super Bowl. Bravo doesn't have
Raw Housewives of Atlanta. And I know Bravo fans are like,
we're not watching the sports. It's like, okay, but a
lot of us are. And you just have it's the
Lord today, and by the Lord, I mean football. It's
(11:20):
Football's day and you can't have anything else. I'm sorry.
Those are just the rules, which brings us to our topic.
So we did Greatest super Bowls last week and we
stats a lot of moments. I don't know if there
were a lot of stats. We talked about left Sharks.
It's a sporting um with We wanted to stay super
(11:45):
Bowl centric but have a little bit more fun. And
so this week we are doing Greatest super Bowl God
you got it? Oh god? Okay, So this week we
are doing Greatest super Bowl Commercials. Very very fun. It's
been a fun day reminiscing. Okay, yeah, yeah, I mean
(12:06):
it really, it's been emotional for me to cry just
for your listeners. Who if she starts breaking down, No,
I'll be totally fine. Um, but yeah, this was This
is one of the more fun topics we've gotten to do.
So I'm so happy you are here for it. Um.
(12:27):
Any final thoughts before we dive into this, No, I
mean I'm ready, Yeah, I'm ready. I'm excited. I mean
I was reading a lot of the backstory and all
these com and it's very similar to what I do now,
and so it's been Yeah, it was really cool. This
is a fun little research assignment. I'm excited to talk
about these your dream to make commercials inspired by just
(12:52):
a lot of overlap. But yeah, there's just like that
super Bowl is so big. It's bigger than any Sport
World Series, NBA, any of that, than the Oscars to Yeah,
like there's like two aspects aside from the sport itself.
It's commercials and halftime It brings everyone together at the
parties and so like it's it's great parties this year. No, well,
no parties this year, but we're still going to be
(13:13):
on the internet talking about our favorite commercials. M h.
And it's also I like the commercials and half time
aspect too, because, like Megan said, there's some people who
are watching it because they have to, or they're dating
somebody who's into football, and it's like it's the one thing.
We're like, Okay, well you can at least get a
kick out of the commercials, so you can at least
get a kick out a halftime, Like there's something for
everybody here. You know. It's way more cultural event than
(13:36):
it is sporting event, I think, um. And so that's
why I don't like when people bitch about it, because
it's like, we've made it as palatable for you as possible, right,
you should you should watch a wild card game. Okay,
you're gonna get really upset at that. Okay, so Mary,
as our honored guest, you are going to kick us
off with your number three pick. So we go with
a descending order for greatest Super Bowl commercial of all time. Okay,
(13:59):
my number is the apick is gonna be the bud
Light magic fridge. You guys remember this, Yes, we're like
the he's like stacking up all the beer and his
friends like, aren't you afraid people are going to steal
the bud Light? And he's like no, because I install this,
and then he like pulls the little candlestick down and
then the fridge rotates to um like a little dinette set.
(14:21):
But then it cuts to them in like the apartment
next door, dude, the magic fridges back, and they're all
like stealing the beer as fast as they could, because
I'm like, that is absolutely something that anybody would do
if a fridge just appeared full of beer. I'm taking
every bottle. Yes, just beer commercials in general is obviously
we're gonna probably brought up a lot, but it really
is amazing how creative they get every year. Yes, and
(14:43):
the magic Fridge is a great example, and I feel
like it kind of inspired that. I mean, I don't
know how embarrassing it is for Browns fans the fridge
the Brown's fridge for when they won their first game,
which I know if it was like a dig at
Cleveland sports fans or if it was like a true
and now with like in the rear view, it's like,
you guys are past that, You're for real team, But like, yeah,
(15:04):
just the creativity of these beer companies have always had,
which the magic Fridge is always a great example, but
but yeah, what what were your thoughts on the Browns
fridge too, they're called Victory Fridge. So that was two
years ago. That was because was our oh in sixteen season,
so we hadn't won a game and so long for
anybody who doesn't know, and we hadn't won a game
in so long that bud Light was like, okay, we said,
(15:27):
I think they set up six fridges all over Cleveland
at different bars, and they said, when the Browns win
their first game in however long, all these beers are free.
So um, and when I tell you that those bars,
those six bars that had those bridges were hacked everything,
it took like I'm telling you people for like, And
(15:48):
the thing is, bud Light is not an expensive beer,
especially in Cleveland. It's no, there's two dollars, maybe three dollars.
If you're at the stadium, you might get hit with
a five dollar beer, but like a regular like the
the aluminum can bottle looking ones that they had, those
are like three three bucks. Anywhere you go, you're getting
a bucket of them for ten dollars, you know. And
(16:10):
so what people loved it. People wanted to be a
part of it. And it's like, oh, even if we
don't you know, even if we don't whatever, like it
takes us four weeks to when we at least get
this three two dollar beer. It was people loved it.
It was not. I mean, I'm sure some some people
were on there like, oh, this is insulting train. But
the thing about Cleveland is we have such good, uh
like sense of humor because we've been the butt of
(16:32):
the joke for so long. We're like, listen, you guys
can make fun of us all you want. You're still
giving away from you. We don't care you're laughing at us,
are with us? Didn't? We are gonna be here regardless.
Let someone break into one of them, like, I feel
like there were people trying to Oh, Mike, I totally
forgot about that. I forgot about this commercial until I
(16:54):
googled it and Google image has popped up. It was
from two thousand and six, a simpler time. Oh my god.
The men in this commercial are so white, Like yeah,
they know they really are. They are in just classically
bad outfits, um, bad hair, bad side burns. It's it
(17:17):
really is now when I see white male comedians get
upset about how much things have changed, and then you
see these two shlubs in a commercial. It's like, Okay,
I get why you're angry now, because these are just
ugly white men who made it work and I representative
of most men in America. That's what they were trying
(17:38):
to do. So yes they are. And I'm like, I
don't know why they would offend you, Like, is it
upsetting to see yourself so well presented? Like I don't
know why. Yeah, it bothers you so much. The only
thing that is like not artistically accurate is that they
are one is in a polo and one is in
a button down, and they are dressed like they're going
(17:59):
to meet girlfriends parents and not good. These are not
I'm not saying high end, button down, high end polo,
but they would be in hoodies, jerseys, but they couldn't
do that. And in this commercial they kept referring to
it as like the Big Game. I love that. I
love when they will name the Big Game and it's like,
it's clearly football. It's never basketball, and it's never baseball.
(18:23):
I think when in a commercial they say the Big Game,
it's a h of the time football. But it's just
funny how they like refused to acknowledge what they're what
they're saying. But yeah, the fridge, and like that's like
a wet You know, a man somewhere in the Midwest
has built that in his house. Yeah for sure, but
he like made it so it turns into his own
(18:43):
bedroom or something. He's not giving away that be for free.
And I like that you mentioned the Midwest and I'm like, well,
people in the Midwest already have a fridge in the
garage full of Yeah, that's the beverage fridge. Yeah. Seen
Jay's mom, sweetest Filipino gallo in the world. It's just
her and her boyfriend that live in their house and
they have one of those like meat coolers in their garage.
(19:05):
But because she lived in Pennsylvania for so long and
she just gotta have a meat cooler, My mom and
dad moved to America for opportunity, and that opportunity is
a second fridge in the garage. Yeah for sure. Mom
has three fridges total. Um possibly because yeah, she'll pull
out weird pizza, frozen snows and it's like that's not
(19:25):
fitting in two of those fridges. We have at my
parents house. Now, we definitely had a garage fridge growing up,
but now they have an upstairs fridge and a basement fridge,
and then when it's winter time, they just put things
in the garage. They're like and so they there's not
like a structure, but the garage is just one giant
(19:46):
walk in. I didn't realize that wasn't a thing. I mean,
I know it sounds stupid, but being in a place
where it's cold and snows nine months out of the year,
I didn't realize that it wasn't common knowledge just to
put your beer outside, like in college parties where it
would just would walk out to the backyard. It was
just cases of beer. You just go grab one and
walk back inside. It's brilliant. It makes so much sense,
(20:07):
and honestly, the l a ice industry is doing really
well because we have to. Like it was always like, oh,
let's text one of our friends who are on the
way to grab some ice. Yeah. Yeah, it's just an
extra step we have to go through. Um, okay, c J,
do you want me to go? Okay, So my number
three pick it was gonna be my number one, And
(20:28):
then I realized I didn't care that much about it,
but it is historically significant. So mine is the nineteen
Apple commercial and one. So I actually did not I
knew a lot about this commercial, but I did not
know it was a super Bowl commercial, So maybe I
didn't know that much. But they did like a whole
segment on this on like I Love the Eighties, which
(20:51):
was I was so obsessed with that. That's when I
kind of like learned you could be a comedian. And
I loved it, and I was like, all I want
to do is just to talk about things that happened.
What who is Michael Ian Black? And and now you know,
sometimes they see him and know who he is and
I don't want to be him to remember do you
remember watching those shows? You're like, oh my god, they're
so quick. Yeah, I was like these young people I've
(21:17):
ever seen and I was like fourteen, and I was like,
I gotta get to h it's just the uglier comedians
writing those lines or shouting to them before. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter my dream if I could do anything, Listen,
I've been the ugly comedian writing those I'm not. I
guess I have a writing job right now, so I
am the ugly comedian. Um So this commercial extremely historically significant,
(21:42):
obviously a play on I hesitate to even bring it
up because the worst people on earth reference this book now,
um or well the nineteen eighty four did you did
you guys have to read that in high school? I
did not know I did, and I just remember being like,
what is like? It was a little bit of what
is happening in This is bad? This is bad. Stop
(22:04):
you shouldn't let them do this. And so this was
the first viral commercial they call obviously they're like, wasn't
the internet, But it was replayed on news stations like
it premiered. It only ever was played one time, just
just during the nineteen four Super Bowl, and then it
was just replayed so many places. And it was from
(22:25):
Apple and it was announcing the launch of Macintosh computers.
And it may I mean, they sold I think a
hundred and fifty million dollars in eighty four in three
months of these computers, when that wasn't even a thing yet,
you know, like, we didn't have a computer in my
house until way after. I'm assuming you're probably in the
(22:48):
same boat. But it had such cultural significance. It's almost
like a short film. Um, it's not funny, it's kind
of creepy. There is a hot woman. Um, and that's
a woman, and then a bunch of like gray uncle
festers and she throws a hammer at the screen and
(23:10):
it really is like a fuck you to the man.
And I really don't know how a GOP senator could
watch it right now and not think that they're the man,
but they do. And it created the phenomenon that is
the super Bowl commercial. So yeah, well it's like to
use that platform, which is one of the most corporate,
(23:32):
like a super Bowl commercial process is very corporate and whatever.
But the story to be Big brother is about big
brothers watching you and then about the people who fight
against it. And to make a short film inspired by
that is back then, yes, huge, but super super obvious
in terms of like media now, which is funny. But
I'm yeah, I remember, I think I've I've been forced
(23:53):
to watch that commercial and like film school and and
advertising stuff, and yeah, it is kind of crazy thing
about that premiering in ahead of its time. Yeah, if
someone made it now, we'd be like, because it wouldn't
be Taylor Green making it. We were like, fuck, yo,
(24:13):
shut up. Maybe oh, they're just going to assume that
the person with the hammers a woman. You're just assuming
her gender. Is that what you're doing all right? And
she is, um, I don't know if Hooters existed at
the time, but she was there. She is. She's in
like an orange short shorts and a white tank top
(24:33):
and that the iconic Cooter's outfit. Um, so I don't
know if they stole that from her. I don't know
which came for us, the chicken or the egg in
this situation, but I will tease that I did pick
another commercial with a hot woman in a white tanktop.
It makes sense, it's a it's a theme for me.
Marks on it does? It does. And also just to
(24:53):
say again about fighting against big brother, Apple has since
become scarier than a big It's like literally we have
to deal with privacy agreements and whatever, like Apple and
all of its devices invading our privacy on a daily basis.
So it's pretty funny, like how far it's evolved. Yeah,
I just love that that because that's where it started. Was.
(25:15):
I remember when our school got Macintosh computers and we
had like a computer lab for the first time, and
it was like, we're doing all these things for children,
and like very much so in the realm of this
commercial and now it's like if I don't get an
apple watched for a Christmas Like, it's just such a
one eighty. My elementary school did not have air conditioning,
(25:35):
but we had a computer lab. Yeah, yeah, you have
word and I don't work. God whenever I hear muncher
is a gross word to a different place word Muncher's
number munchersk um c J. What's your number three? My
number three, to no surprise, has to do with Michael
Jordan's and the Bulls um m J versus Bird the
(25:56):
McDonald's commercial. It's titled the Showdown Um, which I, you
know what, until maybe a few years ago, I forgot
that this debut during Nintree. Obviously Jordan's you know, in
the Bulls Height, but it was for anyone not familiar,
it was the you know, empty gym uh Jordan's and
Bird go head to head in a horse match. It's
(26:18):
a two parters. So they showed early in the game
thirty seconds of it kind of teasing what was gonna happen,
and then a minute long later in the game where
they played horse crazy shots, which are you know, pretty
standard horse tower though no, no, this is like, well
it wasn't well and I think it's the serious. I mean,
we've seen that from trick shots on house highlights. Okay,
(26:40):
but anyways, yeah, iconic. But then I also, um it
was they remade it in two thousand ten Lebron versus
Dwight Howard. I don't know if you guys remember that one.
I get like, that's not that's that metaphor is not
Lebron or not the same as Georgia close. At the time,
(27:06):
it was like, okay, this is when Dwight Howard was
like on the cover of s I with his he
was like man arms and exactly, so okay, you never
had one a championship yet. But yeah, it isn't close.
But the one fun fact about this is that it
was directed by Joe Pitka, who directed space Yam the original.
Did you think both oh he's yeah the guy he's
(27:30):
a he's a famous commercial music video director. But the
original space Him Yes, yes, but also the original did
both commercials, the remake and the originals. And but he
is not directing the news space Him. Um. And was
this before or after the like iconic moment we see
in the last dance win Bird is like fuck you motherfucker,
(27:50):
so um you motherfucker would have been what that came
during the Dream Team or what I can't remember when
was that. I don't know. I think, yeah, I forget
Bird is always saying fuck you, motherfucker matter something, so
I'm not remembering that exact moment, but yeah, oh so.
And then also the version with Lebron and White filmed
(28:14):
at Conseco. Really now Banker's life because Conseco Conseco. Um
it went well. I always get confused because there's Jose Conseco,
but then this is Conseco. Either way, it went bankrupt
and it doesn't exist us why they but I did.
There was a man gosh, maybe they'll have to cut this.
No one cares. Um. There was a man I knew
(28:36):
who was affiliated in some way. I won't say how um,
but he ended up marrying a woman that jumped out
of his birthday cake. And I think that's amaze set.
That's true true Cinderella story to go from I'm jumping
out of a rich man's cake too, I'm marrying him. Okay, girl,
(28:56):
she were really fun outfits. Wait, why did that come up?
Because he ran Conseco. He was the president, he was
the CEO. She was trying to avoid that, and I
thought that for a second. She was like he had
to work for the company, and they that guy Larry Burger,
and they would sit they would sit courtside at every
(29:16):
Pacers game and she would have I mean, this is
like an Indiana too, okay, and she would have like
thigh high canary yellow boots on, and we were just like,
this bitch is awesome. But then if everyone else was like,
look at this trash, and I was like, she's a HiCon,
Mary Sue, why do I keep saying more details? Stop? Um,
(29:39):
I don't even know if that story is factual. That's
just like what I heard when I was a child.
Why was I told that story as a child. I
don't know. Um, Okay, let's see the only thing that
happened in Indianapolis, and like this is like a you
could make it story. They were like Megan learned to
read or learn to jump out of a cake. These
are your options. Okay, Let's take a quick break and
then we'll be back with our number two picks. All right,
(30:05):
and we are back with our second picks. Mary, what's
you got for your second pick? Okay, my second pick.
A lot of people hated, I loved. It is incredibly
annoying and I will say that. But my second pick
is a Puppy Monkey Baby. Okay, I think people Mountain Dew,
(30:29):
and these are my two reasons why I picked that
one as my second favorite because it is one of
the only Super Bowl commercials that I remember what it
was for. Like, I remember because it was so absurd.
It was like three awesome things that go together, a puppy,
a monkey, and a baby, and then it's like mountain dew,
kick Starter. It's like mountain dew, caffeine and whatever. You know. Um,
but I remember after watching that for like weeks after
(30:52):
watching that, I was just like, puppy monkey baby, monkey baby,
so like it did its job to get across. You're
gonna remember what it was. It was so weird and
so ugly that you couldn't not talk about it. So
I think from like an advertising standpoint, that's why I
had to give it to Puppy Monkey Baby. Is it?
It was really met? It was they like it opened
(31:12):
on them trying to figure out what would make the
greatest Super Bowl commercials that correct or no, Yeah, they
were like what does everybody love? That was like their
points um, and then that was based on puppy monkey
Baby has the Wikipedia page and doesn't really according to
I Spot t E spot dot TV. I'll look it up. Um.
(31:33):
That commercial was the number one rated commercial of the night,
so it was everybody talked about it for sure. That's
definitely the one I remember because on Monday all of
the news shows now do like a round up. This
is what I don't like about the modern day commercials
as we see them before. I really don't like that.
Why we were just talking about that on air where
(31:53):
I was like, I get it if it comes out
like a day before, but their Super Bowl adds out
now where I'm like, I don't want to see it,
and I especially this year, it's like we're not going
to be watching with other people, We're going to be listening.
Like I think that's the point sometimes of like no
one will be listening to these, but please stop, we
want to be excited from the God. Stop releasing them,
(32:17):
give us anything. It was one thing to have, um,
So it was a The ad features a computer generated
mashup of three things that the public generally finds to
be cute, all in one body, A pug, puppy the head,
a monkey, the torso, and a dancing baby the hips
and legs complete with the diaper. Beautiful, and I mean
(32:39):
I remembered it was Mountain Dew. You who were saying
it forever like it did do a good job, and
it was just so weird and so ugly. It was
one of those I was like, I can't look away
from this? And what is mountain dew kick Start? It's
like a Mountain Dew's energy drink. Have you ever had that?
So it's like mountain dew. Well, the whole point was mixing.
(32:59):
The point was mixing three things together. So it was
it's mountain dew juice and caffeine, so puppy, monkey baby,
classic drinks that a teenager or college student hands you
when you're like walking around the city. Mountain Dew Kickstart
has like twelve different flavors, like super popular. Man, you
(33:20):
might have been in l A for too long because
you can't do a stick without seeing some weird duty
with a kick Start walking around the street. You've been
in the Kickstarter house before? Oh that's what you did
it at Start. That was my birthday. Kick Start threw
me a birthday party and I didn't even I'm I'm
very anti energy drinks. They freaked me out. No, yeah,
(33:42):
they are pretty crazy, but okay, it worked. Maybe we'll
have one in your honor. No, you don't want us
to do that. You don't want, but tell you don't.
If you do, I need I need you to film
it or at least tagging on Instagram for the for
the aftermath or for loco. Do you ever do you
ever perform? Like would you prefer to be hungry or
(34:04):
full when you're performing? Oh? Boy, that's a horrible question. Um,
why is that so hard for me to answer? Because
I'm Here's the thing is that it's probably going to
be a better show if I'm hungry, just because I'm
a little snippier, you know, like I'm I'm kind of bitchy.
But like if I'm too full and I'm up there
feeling like I'm gonna throw up, like I'm gonna be lethargic,
(34:26):
i won't be as quick. So I'm gonna have to
I'm gonna have to say hungry. Yeah. I've told audience
since before, like I'm really full, and they did They
did not care. They don't care at all. You know,
They're like, get on your unicycle and give us the
damn show. Bitch. Um okay, great second pick. I right
when you said, I kept being like, there is some
(34:47):
viral one that I cannot remember, and it was that one,
and I'm happy for it to be back in my brain.
My number two pick is from and it is the Pepsi.
Cindy Crawford, Oh iconic. She is just incredible. And this
(35:07):
this commercial, it's um, there's that song just Swan, you
know that one, and so CJ's word, we're gonna get
sued for stealing music. Don't do too much, No, I won't.
She pulls up in a red sports car. She gets out.
There's two little like farm hands watching her. She's in
Daisy Dukes, a white tank top. Her hair is big
(35:31):
and blowing, and she is just so fucking hot. Champion
Cindey Crawford. It's truly like if Shania Twain did that,
that don't impress me much. So you think you're Sinney Crawford.
That's what she would have said. She is the hottest
hot supermodel. She invented it. She was the thing for right,
(35:53):
you know. Right then this commercial has also been remade.
I think the dude, no I think she's in it.
I don't know. I actually she was like watching like
a gross guy like in Daisy Dukes or something. Probably
and I'm not going to be James Cordons guy. Well,
I mean you were, you weren't fully wrong. Um. And
(36:15):
then so I guess technically there's a twist at the
end of this commercial because she gets, um, there's a
vending machine too, and oh god, I love a vending machine.
I mean we're big, big, big, big vending machine. Um.
So she it's just a pepsi vending machine. She gets
a pepsi and then the two farm hands are like,
who doesn't that new can look good? You know, like
(36:37):
they're talking about the pepsi can and not how hot
Cindy Crawford is. Thanks for the twist, and I mean
it's all just about how gorgeous she is, and they
nailed it. She looks good. Now I know her daughter
is floating around. Daughter kind of like looks almost identical
to Cindy Crawford if I'm not mislike she did Pete Davidson.
(37:00):
Wowndy Crawford daughter, Oh my god, that is a question. Mary,
can we clear this up? Insane? Like maybe I don't
know if that's his thing that he's catching. I don't
know that that would be one I would be very
upset with. I do think this commercial kind of birth, um,
(37:23):
the generation of like what is her name? Al whoever
Nicholas's wife is now? Sorry, no apologies that I don't
know your name, Vanessa, Yes, because like this kind of
birth does like Dorito's commercials of like we're just gonna
give you a hot woman doing something, um, and that's
a very super Bowl commercial do I struggle to say
(37:46):
super Bowl? I don't know. That's a very super Bowl
commercial centric thing. Here's a hot woman and here's our product,
and that's all we need, and it really is all
I need. You'll figure it. And I'm a straight feminist woman,
and I'm like, give me as much of these as
you can. If it was all just hot women and
(38:06):
ads this year, I'd go, Okay, great one, thank you,
beautiful time. So God, I wonder what my little six
year old eyes thought. Do you think that means that,
like is the reason why I weigh myself every day?
I don't know if that's what it is, but you
might have like an adversity too. You'd be like, listen,
(38:27):
she drinks regular pop. Why can't I drink regular pop?
Even diet culture? I don't even like pop. I don't
even drink it. I don't like PEPSI I don't like
coke at all. I love Doritos though, so they did
carry Yeah, but I'm not gonna buy it for myself.
And then I have a little guy, This guy like
(38:49):
I don't like pop. He's like, but if you had
to choose a favorite pop would be the one I
buy you. I do like sprite. I love a Shirley Temple.
Who a sprite from McDonald's not a sponsor or? Let's
keep it moving? Okay, well maybe they are. I don't know.
Um and my last pick was McDonald's commercial anyways, Um, alright,
my pick I should go. Okay, So I struggled between
(39:09):
two and one, but I'm gonna put this in the
two spot. The Budweiser Frogs. I okay, cool. Yeah, I
mean I'm glad because I was like, I feel like
one of like someone's gonna pick it. So I just
went for it. Budwiser Frogs. This was like, and you
(39:31):
could really like map out your life because you go
oh ve so probably ran for a year. No, this
thing ran still one night it Rantille, which is like,
can you imagine three years of just seeing this commercial
and like you couldn't describe the different ones. You just
are like bud wise or like the frogs blah blah.
So those were around and and so the interesting fact
(39:51):
that I found out about it was it was phased
out because these frogs were being grouped together with like
Ronald McDonald and all these other to like kid masks,
and they were like, you can't, like it's too much
of an influence of the smoking. And so they're fixed.
Though was the lizards took over. So it became the
(40:15):
Budweiser lizards were very much again and I think they've
done the Budweiser um and the lizards again. You would
think like, hey, let's stop like this idea, we just
gotta switch it up. The lizards pretty much took over
the frog's role and We're successful. Went from ninety eight
into the early two thousand's had an album with like,
you know, funny Budweiser songs or yeah you know, and
(40:39):
so yeah, they just really love the reptile community when
it uh for Budweiser, and so I think that was
either simultaneously with the I don't want to ruin the
other if anyone has those other picks. But yeah, so
Budweiser again continued to control the game. I feel like
in Super Bowl commercials, I remember I was young, so
i'd have been six years No, when was it. Yeah,
(41:05):
I wasn't so six years old, And I remember saying
everything around me in that like three syllable kids, So
no matter what it was, if it was three syllables,
I said it like that. So I'd be like, my
mom be like, what do you want for lunch? And
I'd be like, hey, I'm sand which like everything that
I could say like that, I would say like that
because I was so obsessed with those Budweiser frogs. Yeah
(41:28):
they were good. I mean, but you were a kid,
you know, like yeah, yeah, and so it's just it's
just there's evidence that they were right. It was really
getting through the kids. God, they were great. They were great.
I mean, I'll save it till the end, but we're
gonna have to give a round of applause for Budweiser.
Really they really And we mentioned it last week, but
(41:51):
is Budweiser are there for going a funny commercials they
are forging a commercial this year for sine awareness. Yes,
so are they making a commercial about I don't know.
I'm excited to see what it is. But I mean,
and I would be necessarily mad if it's funny. From
what I heard was that there a lot of big
companies like that. We're saying that their money was better
(42:13):
used other places, that they weren't going to spend it
all on advertising this year, basically like you said, kind
of to raise a vaccine awareness in that way where
they're like, hey, why are there no commercials and it's like, oh,
because we're using our money where it should be great.
I think I heard that about Pepsi and Coke, but
like big big advertisers that were like, hey, we can
(42:35):
make a stance, why don't we kind of a thing? So, um,
here is a message from them. For the first time
in thirty seven years, Budweiser will not air a Super
Bowl ad. Instead, we are redirecting our advertising dollars to
raise awareness of the COVID nineteen vaccines see at the
Games next year. I mean, even that is a pr stunt,
(42:55):
And I'm like, great, when when it's so, when it's
something like normal, good I'm like, you played me, and
I'm happy to be played. Well, you would we would
talk to earlier about the one eight that Apple did,
like Smash the Man and Becoming the Man. Like talking
about that one eight of Budweiser. It's like, let's prey
on children, and now it's like we're gonna use our
(43:16):
powers for good. You know. It buys them more credibility
than any like funny commercial probably, And I bet there's
a lot of anti vactors that during Budweiser, you know,
like that is probably their beer of choice. So for
for for Budweiser to let them down, they gotta think
long and hard about that. I just love idiots having
(43:37):
to be faced with true dilemma commercials. That's not an
impression of everyone anyway. Um, Okay, let's take a quick
break and then we'll be back with our number one picks. Okay,
(43:57):
and we are back Mary. Since you are our guest,
you are our finale, so you will be going last. Okay. Yeah,
I hope you don't pick it. Yeah, it happens all
the Tika. This is like probably one of the first
episodes where we've had no overlap, so we're already ahead
of the game. My number one pick is a Budweiser commercial,
(44:18):
and that's why I am so honored to be talking
about them. I is yours a Budweiser commercial? Mary, Okay, great,
so then I can give my honorable mention. My honorable
mention is also a Budweiser commercial. Come on, and it's um.
And the reason this is not on my top three
(44:39):
and it's honorable mention is because it was not the
premiere of this commercial. It was just like another notch
in the story. And that is the what um which
you there? You go? I just it is my favorite
commercial of all time. I love it. Friend of the show,
(45:01):
former guest Tommy Mack and I every time we see
each other, we say it, I'll never get enough of Budweiser.
Was up um, But for our purposes today, my number one,
and I don't even know if I can pick, is
the Clydesdales. Oh my, come on, these horses are beautiful.
(45:22):
They are one of them. They're beautiful, one of them
kicked when they they make me cry. When I see them,
I go, oh my God, Like truly, I have shushed
people before me, like the horses are on the horses around,
like I love these horses. I would follow these. CJ's
(45:44):
name is Clyde. I married a Clyde. Shut out to them.
I have to say my favorite, I think, I don't know.
I love this. There was a circus one and the
horse met a white horse name Daisy, and she was
in the circus, and then he went and saved her
from the circus. I loved um. One is when the
(46:04):
Clydesdale meets a Golden Retriever puppy. I knew it, and
then that same puppy, which doesn't make sense. They're sort
of like, um. There's a plot hole there a puppy,
a different puppy gets lost and then the Clydesdale finds
it and brings it back home. I just can't even
(46:26):
I just I I love these horses. I love them
with Santa. I love them in snow. I love them
in the desert. I love them by the ocean. I
just really love to see their little pretty hoofs and
everywhere they are. I love them. I just love clydes
And I didn't know you were such an equestrian, like
(46:49):
beautiful horse. Well, I know they're playing football. Those are
two things you love. Yeah, I just I think of
the Clydesdale's as like just Super Bowl contained too. I
maybe sometimes there's Christmas ones, but it's like it's almost
like the Polar Bears of Coca Cola. You like know
they're coming and like this is their time, Like they're
(47:10):
like step aside. I think you just also appreciate any
other being that has beautiful hair you just really real
recognize as real, and you're like the main on that
Clydesdale shiny coat. I think that's something more deep down
in there and maybe that's it. And I also think
they have beautiful, big, warm, kind eyes. So I think
(47:33):
the horses are just doing a lot of the heavy lifting,
not so much has nothing to do. It's only the horses. No,
it's truly only the horses. And if it if someone
was like save the Clydesill horses, I would give money,
Like I need them to be okay. I fully understand
we're not going to see them this year, and I
appreciate what they're personally doing because I do think it's
(47:53):
them um that is getting vaccine awareness out. It was
their idea. It would their ideas came together. Yeah, they
said listen, if you guys don't do what you're supposed
to do. We're out. You're you're losing your big money ticket.
Have you heard Megan talk about it? Because that's how
(48:14):
America feels, all right, um, one little nugget. They have
been with the super Bowl since nineteen eighty six, and yes,
that was the year that I was born. Okay, together
Fybruary six, Maybruary six we premiered the same month. That
is unbelievable. Oh god, I love them. I'm gonna miss
(48:35):
him and I can't wait to see them in just
like my family. After No, I've been watching them for
the last hour and I couldn't even pick which one
I wanted. He's just crying. I started crying. I love
I just love them. I love them to get you
for your birthday. Okay, okay, c J, what is your
(48:56):
number one pick? All right? My number one pick is
the trade sucking Baby. Now. It's pretty funny and I
feel like it inspired I mean again, puppy monkey baby.
The baby part is definitely they were really hitting that target.
M I don't know if it was the first of
like the babies being a part of the Super Bowl commercials,
but this is a very successful It was you know,
(49:17):
it was E Trade Baby who was talking about getting
into stocks and trading investing. But it was a baby,
um and premiered in two thousand eight during the Pats
Giants Super Bowl forty two. Um. Super Bowl lasted uh
seven years, and so I was just like reading about
the backstory and like who created it? It was Gray
New York, which is like a big ad agency, but
(49:38):
it was actually the first commercial that this guy who
came from Leo Burnett, which is huge, John Hughes was
that was his advertising job, but his first gig. He
was so nervous and he went over to Gray New
York and was like here, here's the idea for E
Trade whatever, and like it was super Bowl commercial and
it was huge. And then he was promoted to head
(49:58):
of Gray New York and he his name is Donald J. Trump. No,
his name is I should look and see if he's
done anything bad. Um And yes, seven years of Trade
Baby and it premiered in two thousand and eight and
lasted until yeah, fourteen. So that was the Giants Patriots
(50:20):
super Undefeated that we all kept referencing last week, which
is the the greatest super Bowl, great super Bowl, great
commercial exactly. So they really had the stage and yeah.
The last commercial again very self aware of the company
and the commercials, the baby quit mid commercial. I do
have to say they're so oh eight. I think it
was oh nine. All of the commercials were about the
(50:41):
crash of the stock market and all of like the
remember when all the commercials for one year were just
like empty office buildings with um, what are those dusts? Like?
That was that was dust wheels? Um? That is that
was like a theme That year sucked. I hated that year.
(51:03):
It was like, we know, um, we have been negatively affected.
We came here for some fun and now you're just
showing us dust wheels cubicles and we were hoping for
baby stalking. So oh wait, oh wait was the almost
feels like the end of because e trade those that
(51:23):
monster commercial then those companies like ceased to exist. Al
I p okay, Mary, let just take us home. Okay,
um my number one. I also have an honorable mention.
Give it to do we want the honorable mention first? Okay.
My honorable mention is a two thousand eleven Volkswagen commercial
(51:47):
where the little kid is dressed up as Darth Vader
and he's like going all around the house trying to
move things with the force, and then the Volkswagen comes
up and has a remote start and his dad like
turns it on and he like freaks out. That was
one where I was like, this is adorable. I think
this is so cute. This is the cutest that lying
to your kid has ever been. I feel that was
just people love commercial to everyone. That was like on
(52:10):
a lot of lists that I saw, And I have
a Volkswagen, so it's exciting for me. Oh, you get it,
you get it. Um. But my number one was also
an e trade commercial UM, and it's from two thousand
and it's where they have the monkey dancing in between
two dudes who are just sitting in the garage and
like offbeat dancing, and then it's like, well we just
(52:32):
wasted two million dollars and like that text comes up
on the screen and then it says what are you
doing with your money? And I'm like it's just so perfect,
Like it's to the point it addresses like they're not
hiding how expensive it is to have a Super Bowl ad,
and then they're also like, look, everybody's everybody's an idiot,
you know, let us help you be less of an idiot.
(52:54):
I love that. It's so great. I mean, and these
big companies like willing to take those chances. You know
how many people like are on those companies and like,
all right, we need to make a splash. And to
do that, it's just it's incredible. And I almost I'm like,
why aren't companies taking bigger chances like that? But to
do that in two thousand and yeah, it's just perfect.
That would be a great commercial now. And the guys
(53:17):
in this very different than the Secret Fridge. It's like
kind of a weird man and then a man that
you assume is his dad, and they look like they're
in a very different kind of garage than like we
probably were used to seeing growing up, and they have
like a boom box. The monkey is really charismatic and cute,
(53:38):
oh yeah, tapping his foot like totally just getting it.
And I love it because you're when you're watching it,
you're like, what could this possibly have to do with anything?
And then as we just wasted two million bucks, You're like,
this is I love this, This is incredible. And again
it inspired it was one part or one third of
the Puppy Monkey baby thing. It was like the baby
(53:59):
Monkey we do love the monkey trade has done both.
And we all know how much the Super Bowl commercials costs,
and we all know that it's stupid and bad and
they shouldn't like to be doing it or whatever, and
so for a company to like overtly say this cost
us x amount is so tongue in cheek and um, yeah,
(54:19):
it ends up being fun. I hope this monkey is
doing okay, I don't I actually don't know. I'm not
going to. I think they live for a long time.
I don't know actually, and I'm just hoping, like does
he get money? I don't know. Now I'm now I'm
on some sort of page and I see a monkey
(54:40):
behind a desk in a pinstriped suit for I think
you're thinking of Dunston checks in. This was career builder.
I mean okay, so I guess the big takeaways from
ads are Budweiser and monkeys. You know they monkeys kill it,
Budweiser kills it. Babies do a great job too, and
(55:02):
that's really puppy monkey baby. I mean, they were not wrong.
Um wow, this has been wonderful. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm
not I'm choosing to not watch any of the commercials
ahead of time too. Yeah, it's the only way to
do it, you know what I mean, like you want
to experience it in the moment. I did see a
Wayme's World commercial and they look they look for they
(55:26):
got they either got plastic surgery or really intensely washed
their faces and then bad wigs, and like they their
bodies are different. I mean as well they're older. Yeah,
so that's you took off the earth. They're just old. Yeah,
they're just old. Um, and I no longer want that
sequel unless it's self aware, which this was not. It
(55:49):
wasn't um. It was just like, hey, remember it was
four Uber eats. No, we we know about Uber eats
and their wigs are if anything, Uber Eats, Postmates grew
up all those places you don't need to advertise this year.
You've had big ears, you've taken advantage of us and restaurants,
So actually, why don't you fucking Budweiser and sit this
year out. You could really be spending the money you made,
(56:11):
but truly extorting all of us for not wanting to
leave our houses and now hold on helping vaccines. Let
me flip to this idea, Megan Uber Eats puts out
a Clydesdale commercial where they're delivering things by horseback. They
if they are delivering me the goddamn vaccine by horseback,
I'll go. I was I was wrong, Uber. But other
(56:33):
than that, actually, if I could take an uber that
is a Clydesdale, I'd be happy to right on their
back because I don't want to hurt them. That's in
New York. No, they're strong. I'll walk them. I'll walk
it though like a dog. I would walk it like
a dog, but not only I would just walk next
to it and go wherever you want to go is fine,
So it would walk you. You would walk, and I
(56:54):
would love to be walking by you. This is getting
off the rails. Mary, tell us a little bit more
about your album. Where can people find it? When is
it available? Well, you guys, my debut album, my very
first comedy album, only so nine years to do um
is called hill Billy Bougie and it will be available
everywhere on February um so I Tunes, Spotify, band Camp,
(57:18):
Apple Music, wherever you get at Amazon um and right
now I have the links up for pre order so
you can follow my instagram which is at Mary Santora
Comedy and my Twitter which is Mary Underscore Santa And
the link to the album is in the bio of
both of those. So if you go to any of
my social media the link right my bio, click it,
you can pre order it and then it'll drop fully
(57:40):
on the February Awesome Listeners. One of the best things
you can do to support artists right now is to
buy their content. We are not able to travel and
to tour and to do stand up in the way
that we usually are, and so you are truly giving
back if if you buy, and if you don't, I'll
fucking be really pissed. Okay, Um, everybody in Buffalo that's
(58:01):
always tweeting about me at the Bills, Okay, you need
to buy Mary's album. Okay, that's thank you. That's what
Bill's Mafia wants you to do. We gotta get Bills
Mafia behind it. They love to do. They love a
good Bills fans Bill's Mafia. In the Dogtown Cleveland Browns, Yes,
we are we are spirit same claw. Yeah. Yeah. They
could do married at first Site with them and they Yeah,
(58:25):
we aren't jumping through tables, but we are both tailgating
at six am. We both have had a hard time
followed by a great year. I'm old get lake effects, snow,
all the sun that you're all of it. You're all
on Lake Erie. Let's help. Okay, that's what That's what
I would like, Yes, Megan, I would love to see
a huge Bill's Mafia Mary Santora following could come from this.
(58:48):
I would Nothing would make me happy. I've got a
real uptick in Lions fans contacting me, and I'm excited
to hear from you. I'm very, very sorry about Matthew Stafford,
but yeah, keep talking to me. I'm I'm thrilled blow
at you. You can find me at Megan Gaily at
Better Megan Gaily on instrog Ram. I'm at c J
Toldonno and everything. Yeah. UM, rate review sends love, We
(59:10):
love your messages. Maybe we'll open up an email account
and people can send us suggestions. That's probably a good
idea that we should have done thirteen months ago. Um,
but we'll get on that. Mary, thank you so much
for joining us. Thank you guys for having me. We'll
talk to you guys next week. Bye. The Greatest is
a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from
(59:31):
i heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.