April 20, 2022 • 32 mins
The postpartum period is an emotionally exhausting time, full of joy… and apprehension. In this episode, Shazi talks to Sara Haines, co-host of The View, about her struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety. She also speaks with Heng Ou, bestselling author of the First Forty Days and founder of Motherbees, about how cultures outside of the U.S. handle a mother’s postnatal recovery – treating it as a sacred time for the mother to heal and rest. We also hear from women’s health expert and OBGYN, Dr. Jessica Shepherd, about the hormonal shifts new moms undergo, what to do if you or someone you love is experiencing postpartum depression, and what a future – where babies and mothers get the support they need during this critical time – might look like.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Healthy Baby Show is a production of My Heart
podcast Network and Healthy Baby dot Com. I think the
reason baby blues the term was coined is because it
sounds cute and it sounds like what it should be
when you have a baby, because depression sounds morbid. But
the honest truth is you don't have to call it anything,
but you have to make sure you're saying you're not okay.
(00:21):
Autopilot kicks in when you're insurvival, so people say, how
are you doing, how's the baby. It's so much easier
to just say, yep, yep, we're good. We're good, You're
not good, and it's okay to not be good. There's
so much about having a baby that I wasn't prepared for,
and I feel like I've learned a lot. I want
(00:44):
to let you in on what I've discovered and save
you the time and effort. I'll give you a shortcut
through the hours of research, correspondence with experts, the roller
coaster of it all, so that you can walk away
with new knowledge that you can act upon. Every episode.
This is The Healthy Baby Show. I'm Shazivas from that
(01:12):
voice you heard before is Sarah Haynes. You might know
her from the View or Good Morning America. She's a
TV host and journalist who's been in the public eye
for more than a decade. She's also a mom to
three young children, Alex, Sandra, and Caleb. I asked Sarah
to join the show because she's spoken openly about her
journey into motherhood and struggles with postpartum depression. When I
(01:34):
started mapping out this series, I knew I wanted to
devote a full episode to the postpartum period. It's an
emotionally exhausting time. It's full of joy and apprehension, and
you spend months and months preparing for the arrival of
this tiny human and you end up with so much
more than you could have anticipated. A new body, changing hormones,
(01:56):
new rituals, schedules, but most importantly, this new lifelong relationship
that changes you forever. I always knew I wanted to
have babies and hoped i'd be able to, and I'd
also off and on. Starting in my twenties, been very
mindful of my mental health. Depression runs in my family.
(02:20):
I've learned through a lot of work that ideal with
specifically anxiety like depression, is a symptom usually of my
flaring anxiety. So when I had my first baby, I thought,
I know, I'm at higher odds of having some postpartum
depression anxiety. And I remember walking out on the stage
once here at the View and I was pregnant, and
(02:40):
Joy the Heart said to me that New York Times
just had an article come out about perinatal depression. Did
you read it? And I was like, no, I need
to because at that time in that pregnancy, I knew
to look for it after the baby. And it took
looking back to have a clarity of mind to see
that it had started to affect me very much during
(03:00):
the pregnancy. So looking back, the whole journey into that
first baby was definitely depression and a spike and anxiety.
But I knew something was wrong almost immediately because everyone
had described all these feelings you'd have right when you
have your baby, and I didn't have any bad feelings
(03:21):
towards my baby, which I had watched movies about, So
in my head, I thought, if you have bad feelings,
that's a red flag. I didn't have bad feelings. I
just didn't have feelings about my baby. It can be
difficult to talk about, but Sarah's experience is actually pretty common.
According to the CDC, one and eight women will experience
postpartum depression those some experts believe that number is much
(03:44):
higher like one and four, in part because women don't
always know what to look for when they're feeling that way,
that feeling of unfamiliar, even though the only thing that
had changed was actually additional. I had this baby. I
went home and I said to my husband, I cried
the first second day when you go to the doctor,
I said, Max, I have you and I have my
(04:06):
parents here, and I have the same apartment, and I
have my dog, Tricksie, who I was obsessed with. I said,
but I don't see anything that I recognize. It's like
I'm in a different world. And that was the best
way to describe the journey into that new motherhood is
nothing felt like me. I remember looking at my husband
(04:28):
like days in and I'm like, I'm leaving with the
chihuahua and I'm not coming back, you know, And he
was like, what are you doing? And I was like,
you guys will be better off. I was not trying
to self harm, and I would never have had negative
thoughts towards the baby. Again, this is the hard part
about recognizing a mental struggle. It made sense in my head.
It didn't sound like it does now. In my head,
(04:49):
I thought, and then over my head, you can't get
out of this. There's no option. I'm not going to
like all of a sudden, give this kid up for
adoption or you know, but I clearly am not cut
out for this job. And I can see it's a
man infestation of anxiety. But I never assumed it was
because of the baby. Now looking back, I don't know
how that was lost on me. But I sometimes when
(05:11):
I'm really emotional or low, say, I wonder if the
baby picked up on all that I was going through
and clung to the parent that could take care of him.
So it's still a journey. I had postpartum again with
my third. I can speak for your babies. They love
you like crazy. They only have one mom that's you.
So I have this feeling that's what they will tell
(05:33):
you later in life. Well, and they tell me, And
then there are moments where I forget. I'm just like
I loved my mom, like no matter what, you know.
I I look and I'm like, wait, I'm that to them.
It's sometimes hard for me to you know, the juxtaposition.
So my son has aught to him and he was
totally typically developing the first two years, and I was
running this company that was like the fastest growing food
(05:55):
company in the country for babies, but I would only
see him at night. So like, you know, I mean
I was working like crazy. I mean I take him
everywhere with us. He would roll with a lot of travel.
He was making all the milestones. But then I think
about it, and I like, the earlier you get a
diagnosis than the earlier you can get to work and
possibly really like affected outcome. But like I think of
(06:16):
would my son be more connected if I had been
there more or would I have recognized anything that was
different sooner had I spent more time. Had I ever
taken him to an actual plateate myself? You know? And um,
which none of this is rational. One has nothing to do.
But it's so hard. But it's like it's funny because
it's easy for me to hear your story and just
(06:38):
like my heart breaks for you to go through pain
like that when you just created a new life and
new you know, it's such a special ability that we
women have and it comes with all this stuff. I
really relate to that. I imagine you know, your best
friend wanting to help you and wanting to be there.
(06:58):
For some reason, when I think about my own story,
I don't have the empathy for myself the way that
I would for I don't know why. It's time for
a quick break, but we'll be back in a minute.
(07:20):
Welcome back to the show. I find that people learn
a lot from what others are going through and being
able to share in their space. That takes away the
feeling of I'm alone in this, and many times I
do think in the postpartum phase women do feel that
they're alone. That voice you hear is Dr Jessica Shephard
and O B g U, i n and women's health
(07:41):
expert and also the founder of her Viewpoint, an online
women's health forum that focuses on addressing taboo topics in
a safe environment. I really focus my practice not only
on the physical health of women, but also the emotional
and mental aspect, as well as the sexual health aspect
(08:03):
of these journeys that women go through. And I think
when women go through those actual changes that occur, there's
the sense of I have to have control now because
I have a new infant or infants, and I have
to be brave for everybody else while again putting ourselves
to the back burner. And these changes can obviously come
(08:25):
in the form of anxiety in the sense that you
have to take care of a new human, but also
the changes hormonally that happened that elicits some of these
responses and fluctuations that we may see exhibited through mood.
After having to I thought, I'm actually going to say
this out loud. We cannot have another baby. It would
(08:47):
be a death blow to my mental health. I'm getting
this new show, and that is such a huge privilege
that we just need to now be really careful. And
I found out after having that conversation two weeks later
that I was pregnant. I collapsed in my bathroom and
started heaving, and my boss at the time called and
(09:08):
she was asking me to fill in for someone who
had just had a baby, and she said, you know
how it is when you first have a baby, And
all of a sudden, I got really quiet because I
had just looked at the test and I didn't think
I could speak without crying, and I said, I'm pregnant,
like I hadn't even told my husband I literally had
a full blown breakdown on the phone. I didn't know
(09:28):
where the tears were coming from. If it was fear.
I knew it was a bad time, but I also
knew that there was a baby and all the beauty.
It was such an intersection of feelings like that's such
a beautiful thing that I can't do it. We can't
do it. What do I say? I can't go back
to a job that just gave me this opportunity and
be like, yeah, we thought it was a great time
to have a baby, so we did that. All of
(09:48):
it felt like red flags everywhere. That pretty much was
the foreshadowing for the entire pregnancy into the birth. I
struggled the entire your time. That new show was ABC's
Strayhan and Sarah. It was designed for her and marked
(10:09):
the pinnacle of her career at that time. So as
we got close to me having the baby, there was
a big pressure on me because my name was in
the title of the show. It was Michael and Sarah,
and Michael was going to be out. He had certain
plans and vacation things, and I was having a baby.
They were pretty much like, I don't know how you
(10:30):
survive a show where the two named people are gone
at the same time, and I was like, well, if
I could readjust the dates of this baby, I sure would,
but I don't have a choice. Like I was telling them,
I was like, I'll come back at a week because
in my mind I had gotten the time and taken it.
And I would never want to encourage other women to
do what I was thinking at the time, which is, uh,
I'll do anything. But a part of me thought I
(10:51):
was getting this amazing professional opportunity that not only served me,
but sort of all the family. I had had two
kids and come home and had my time off and
been lucky enough for all that. And I thought, sadly,
women every day in this country go back to work immediately,
like I can do it too. This is a real
privileged position I'm in. I'm going to do it. I
also look back and I wasn't fully well, you know,
(11:15):
it's all about the woman when she's pregnant, but it's
really about like monitoring her. And I think there's a
lot that's missed in these check up appointments. It's really
about like making sure she has all these like check
marks that checked off. I think it's very little about,
how's her emotional health, what's her diet like, what's her
lifestyle like, what's her partnership like. As we know, they're
(11:38):
very quick visits and you can't fit a lot of
other questions in. Hano has made a career out of
helping women navigate those first few months after a baby's born.
She founded mother Be's, an l a based food delivery
service turned lifestyle brand. She's also the author of two books,
including The First Forty Days, The Essential Art of Nourishing
(12:00):
the New Mother. Her work is inspired by her Chinese culture,
specifically the practice of sua. Yeah, it's a It's a
postnatal confinement period that dates back to the Middle Ages
and was designed to help women as they recover from pregnancy, labor,
and birth. It's always been part of my upbringing. My
aunts would always say, when you have a baby, you
(12:24):
know you have to do this, you have to do this,
like and it was just like, Okay, I got it,
you know, conceptually, but I don't know what that may
look like until I actually gave birth. Yeah. Sometimes it
doesn't feel real until it's like real and then you're like, whoa,
I have this human that I'm in charge of and
(12:45):
I made this human and now I have to take
care of him, and yeah, you come home, you're like, oh,
I think everybody asked themselves that now what question. It's
shocking because you've got this little baby in your belly
for so long, and then in a way, at that time,
it's all about you. And I just remembered the minute
the baby was born and then you know, and I
had like a C section. It was pretty hardcore, and
(13:07):
I felt like I had gone through something intensely traumatic personally,
but all of a sudden, it was not about me,
you know, And then it's about the baby. And you're
in this position. Of course you're the mom, but that's
kind of when you need the most support and care.
What do we give back to the actual members of
(13:30):
society who were populating our country, which are mothers and women.
What do we give back to them for the time physically, emotionally,
mentally spent in pregnancy. And that's six weeks. That's doctor
Shepherd again. We give six weeks for that recovery and
expect women to come back to work completely healed physically,
(13:54):
emotionally mentally, to do their job in the same capacity
while having a newborn and that's not an easy thing
to do. But also there's a lot of Americans who
don't have the resources and access to do anything else
but do that. There's this survival instinct of you don't
have a choice to fail, like it's not even on
(14:14):
the table, you know, even the privileges of just alec
my first if I left, he was in good hands
and I was fine. But as soon as that parenting
kicks in and you feel like a mom, you know
no one will scrap harder than you for those kids,
and to look at them every day, you realize instantly
(14:34):
your purpose that if all else fails, you show up
for them. And so there was a source of strength
in coming home to those little turkeys who didn't know
the difference in the days. They just were happy to
see me and climbed all over you demanded everything. It
was the best feeling in the world because there was
no disappearing, there was no unfamiliar there was nothing. They
(14:55):
literally climbed me like a jungle gym, and that grounded
me in a weird way. It was demanding and it
was labor intensive, but I didn't even have time to
organize the paper towels or get lost in my compulsions
because their demands and needs were so eminent and present
that they kind of save you. When I think that
(15:17):
survival mode, I think that is like a mother's instinct
in a way, because like at the end of the day,
I mean, I would gladly walk in front of any bus,
lose any limb, anything for my son or my daughter.
I would do. You know. It's just like not even
a question, and it's not me putting myself last or anything.
It's just that that's just who I am. It's just
(15:37):
that's the one thing I that's like in my blood.
I don't know. I don't know where it came from.
It's a selfless love, this force of nature that it's
not less than putting yourself. It's saying I will do
anything to make sure they're okay. It's strange, but it's
ferocious and it's uncontrollable. Like it doesn't it doesn't rest.
(15:58):
It doesn't rest because it's bio chemical. During and after pregnancy,
a woman's body goes into overdrive. Brain activity in the
magdala increases, making us more in tune, more empathetic, and
also more anxious. Levels of estrogen progesterone and oxytocin surge
and plummet. It's a lot, and it all underscores the
(16:19):
need for more support for women after they give birth.
Han says in China, the first forty days after birth
are akin to a fourth trimester. It's probably because they
wanted to produce really healthy citizens and a really healthy society,
so they invest a lot of effort and resources in
(16:42):
ministration and pregnancy and definitely postpart of In the West,
that's often not the case. Take the US for example,
it's one of just six countries worldwide without any national
form of paid parental leave. Federal law guarantees new mother's
just six weeks unpaid time off, and that's if they qualify.
(17:06):
That would probably be the first thing I would do
in the legislative perspective is increase the postpartum time frame
in which it's covered from an employer standpoint. And also
an easy way to do that is to actually provide
and cover childcare for a certain time frame right because
(17:28):
in the workforce, no one wants workers who are one stressed,
going through postpartum depression. Possibly the bonding moment with their
child is over all of those really contribute to how
well we're able to be efficient and effective in the workspace.
So when I was researching for the book, I went
out to China and I just like, Okay, I'm gonna,
(17:49):
you know, follow the grandmother down the alleyway and ask
her questions. And I did also visit a postpartum center,
which is really my goal. When I was in Shanghai.
It's an a massive building and you walk in their security.
There's marble floors, there's fountains, and I was just so
just stepped back in terms of like, wow, this is
(18:12):
all built for the new mom and the baby. They
said that they had, you know, a pool for the baby.
The moms had seven care they had the acupuncturists, they
had herbal medicine, food brought up to them any time
of the day and night. And this is for about
a month minimum. I think even at this place, you know,
it ranges from like thousand and fifty thou a month.
(18:34):
It could be very little too, but yet they still
have that practice, that investment that families contributes after the
wedding and then it's like, okay, I'm going to prepare
this money for the birth of the child, not so
much of the pregnancy phase and the labor, but it's
more so the postpartum. Hans books and her company are
really personal. They're all about finding ways to nourish new moms.
(18:58):
I mean, look at her. She founded mother Be's twelve
years ago after the birth of her third child. She
was newly single, dealing with postpartum depression and raising a
newborn and two toddlers. I started off with post farm
because it was an area that just wasn't really recognized
back then. Obviously, if you look into the Chinese communities,
(19:19):
they've been doing this for you know, their lives. But
outside of Chinese communities, nothing really existed. You know. When
I just started making food for just anybody that was pregnant,
I'm like, oh my god, you're pregnant, so I'm gonna
make you food. I'm gonna drop it off. Don't worry
about it. I'm gonna drop it off, you know. So
I kind of just like did it and again it
kept me busy and also kept me because it was
(19:39):
a really painful time. But it's such a cool, correct
thing to feed another mother. It's like very it's so beautiful,
I think, so I think it helps ease the mom's
space of capacity, knowing that she's being fed, knowing that
someone thinks about her, supports her at the hospital when
(19:59):
they say, okay, when you're coming in for delivery, bring
your support system. That's doctor Shepherd again. Everyone would spend
so much time I find on things that I really
don't matter. And I'm saying this from an O B
G Y in perspective. When people spend so much time
on the what to take to the hospital bag, the
overnight bag, how many of that stuff did you actually use? Right,
(20:21):
It's like none, maybe like two percent of what is
in the bag. But how much time do we actually
spend on our emotional health in a postpartum way that
would say what is in my emotional health overnight bag? Right?
The things that are really going to help me when
I reach that moment that I don't expect to know
how severe it's going to be. I think we need
(20:44):
to lend time to that. Han agrees. She says founding
mother Be's helped her realize how important it is to
have that after birth plan, a road map for you
and your partner. I think listening out and having very clear,
your honest conversations about okay, you know this is what
I can handle. This is what I get overwhelmed with.
(21:07):
How are they going to overcome the challenges and how
are they going to understand each other? You know when
it's like it's because we know it just it grips
at you and it takes you at your ultimate vulnerable state,
and you're hungry, you're tired, you haven't washed your hair,
you haven't showered for days, you haven't brush your teeth,
you're sweating, you're wearing the same clothes. Maybe your milk
(21:27):
isn't flowing us as you would wish too. I And
then there's a partner not understanding and not seeing and
not being empathetic, being compassionate. Oh my gosh, we haven't
even talked about breastfeeding. That's Sarah Haynes again. That journey
set off more anxiety and the pressure is especially of
extended friends and family, to count it on how long
(21:48):
you should be breastfeeding. And I'm like, I'm literally some
days feel like I'm dying sitting here, and the privilege
of talking about how much milk I got or how
long I'm going to feed. I remember my mother in
law's Russian. She's like, what are you gonna do when
you stop breastfeeding. I said, I don't know, it depends
on when I stopped. Probably give the baby formula formula,
(22:09):
like and I just looked and I thought, oh, hell no,
I am not doing this right now. Like I conversation
after conversation, I'd be like when my mother in law
and we'd be out in a restaurant and I'm really
adamant about just being that freakish person that puts something
in your face. So I'm like, good, good, bring it out.
She's like trying to cover me, you know, and put
(22:31):
this like yep, put the napkin on me, and and
I'm like, I don't give a funk what I like
right now to other people, I don't care. And this
is hard enough without trying to cover myself. This is
a hard thing. Yeah, this is enough. And I kind
of like holding him here. This is working for me
in this moment. So yeah, like, let's stop with this judging.
Actually I'm happy. I used to have this office with
(22:51):
a big window, and I would just take my shirt
completely off and have my pump on, and I would
be like on the phone with the pump, and I
just wanted everybody in the office to always see it
good and like here it in the background, yep, yep,
and it became a part of our company culture. You
had a space to make a difference. I was part
of an older show, but we called it pump and
(23:13):
prep here because the producers would come in to prep me.
Thank god they were mostly woman. I would argue that
that's still okay. But I would sit in here and
I'd have to pump on and you hear who whoo
who's and the producers would come in. I'd put pump
and prep out, like knowing this is my space. So
you're the visitor and I'm pumping in here. So if
you're comfortable with that, come on in. If you're not, don't.
(23:34):
But this is what's going to happen beyond breastfeeding. I
asked Han if she had any other advice for new
mothers to prepare for their postpartum period. I would say,
very early on in your pregnancy, start to maybe putting
some money away for your postpartum time. Even if it's
(23:56):
like five dollars a month or whatever. You know you
could put aside, but it's really for yourself in that time.
You know, as you approach birth, you want to stock
some of the food and stock your pantry with like
very snackable items and also very easily to digest items,
and also setting boundaries within laws or visitors who come,
(24:17):
you know, setting them out notes before you give birth
and say you know, this is why I prefer you
know I love you so much, but you know I'm
only limited to a forty five minute visit. And if
you come, please bring some sort of healthy food, help
me stock up. If you see dishes in the sink,
please help me wash them, maybe put some laundry away,
And know that I'm not here to entertain you and
(24:40):
know that my time and energy is limited. I asked
AFR Shepherd how we can help, especially if we suspect
that one of our friends or someone in our family
is suffering from the signs of PPD. It's almost like
they need an aggressive support system because many times I
can do it. That's fine, No, I don't need any help.
(25:01):
That's okay, I've got it right. But that support system
needs to come in the support of not asking, but
suggesting and telling where they're going to support. I am
coming to watch the baby for two hours. I am
bringing you food. I'm coming to do your laundry right,
And then another way to do that, if you want
to be just kind of forward, is just saying, you
(25:23):
know what, whether I've experienced this myself or I've heard
that a new mom can go through these types of feelings,
I actually booked a online therapy session for you. So
then again that goes in the support system of being
aggressive with I've already planned it for you, and obviously
it may not be taken at that time, but what
if it is even later, right, Sarah says when it
(25:45):
comes to coping with PPD, her best advice is to
know that you're not alone. There are resources, And the
beautiful part is we live in the times of the internet.
There was a time where the isolation was even worse
because all you had we're friends and others to reach
out to. And sometimes the way it was isn't the
way it should be. In fact, most of my stories
(26:05):
where I get comfort start with me saying I struggled
or I'm really having a hard time. All the sudden,
people that present on Instagram one way often feel comfortable
to say, you know what, my sister went through some
stuff with her second and all of a sudden, it
opens the door for potential conversations. And if you get
help from a doctor and they say or suggest maybe
(26:27):
going on medicine again that I leave that medical advice
up to a personal doctor and an individual. But I
also think that has been stigmatized, and there's a lot
of modern medicines that do not affect, whether it's breast
milk or during pregnancy. Get the help you need individually,
and don't judge the journey. Was there a stigma to
get off of medication when you were pregnant and afterwards?
(26:50):
I don't think I talk to anyone specifically. I wasn't
actively in therapy and I had been off medicine. I
knew how to wean off of what I was doing.
So I had come off medicine and stayed off medicine,
thinking without asking that I couldn't be on medicine having
a baby, no wonder. I hit such a low low
And so when I finally asked for help and went
(27:11):
to a therapist and said I'm not okay, they inquire.
They finally fill a picture and find out I had
been on medicine. Well why did you come off? And
I was like, like, I just thought you needed to
come off medicine. They're like, absolutely not. What the doctor
explained to me is your fear of affecting that baby
through your medicine, I can promise you is not as
potent as the stress hormone that you're releasing every time
(27:31):
you're overwhelmed. We'll be back after a quick break, Welcome
back to the Healthy Baby Show. I asked all three
women about the future, what they think postpartum care will
look like in the years to come, and how we
(27:52):
can better support you moms. I do think we have
a lack of therapists, psychiatrist, psychologists just in the mental
health space alone. There's so much needed and there's not
that many providers. And I think that's another thing is
we need to really look into how we can increase
those numbers. That's a whole another discussion. But doing it
in groups sometimes people don't want to be alone in
(28:15):
a room with there, but doing it in a group
setting can also decrease the cost to the client and
to new moms, but it also allows them to form
connection with others who are going through similar things with them.
I feel like one big learning I guess modality that
I picked up is understanding and honoring transitions when you're
(28:38):
breastfitting to diaper changing, like honoring yourself, maybe closing your
eyes and putting your hands on your knees and grounding yourself,
or maybe go into the bathroom in your bedroom where
somewhere alone for just thirty seconds or twenty seconds or
a minute and just you know, closing your eyes and
just like it's like taking a nice deep breath, and
even if the baby's crying watching you, take a deep breath,
(28:58):
just for a second, even if you're not, you know,
hiding in the bathroom or in the shower, which I
do to still to this day. I think it teaches
your baby too that it's positive to have a moment
of self care because it teaches them to watch you
self regulate, and that teaches them to crave self regulation too.
(29:21):
One thing I realized looking back that I wish i'd
known is from the moment you find out you're pregnant,
Sarah as an individual kind of fades away. Every conversation
is the baby, How you're doing, do you know what
it is? What appointment are you on? Anyone that talks
to you. Then you start to visually change and strangers,
how's the baby? Oh my gosh, when are you do this?
(29:43):
And all well meaning and nothing offensive there, but it
slowly creates this image that you're no longer there. And
then that whole isolation of becoming a mom, especially with
the first baby, when you're by yourself and you're with
that baby, and even though you have a partner their
life and pick up the way yours did, so they
often go back to work and this, and now you're
alone and you think you recognize yourself. You don't recognize
(30:06):
your body, you don't recognize your schedule, lack of sleep,
as you not recognizing anything in your view, you feel
like you're losing your mind and you're like, just tell
me what to do. And so I think you just
lose your whole identity and self as you become a mom.
It's almost like something has to die to be born,
like you will never come back to what you were
(30:27):
and holding on to who you are throughout remembering moms
are also individuals. They have passions, they have hobbies, they
have families, they have sisters, mothers, brother that autonomy of self.
I think if everyone can remember that that mom is
there and remember that her name is Sarah, how are
you Sarah, what are you reading? Sarah? You don't stop
watching movies and reading when you're pregnant. And I think
(30:50):
all of the normalcy of what you were treated like
starts from the moment you announce a pregnancy all the
way through to when you find your normal again. And
remember that I can be mom, but I'm also of
very much Sarah. All right, that's it for the show
this week. Next week, we'll be talking about how delayed
(31:12):
chord clamping can set a strong foundation for your baby's
health into the future, and we'll discuss the pros and
cons of chord blood banking and my own experience with it.
We'll also talk about the mind blowing ways that stem
cells may be used now and in the future. Join
us next time. The Healthy Baby Show is a production
(31:33):
of iHeart podcast Network and healthy baby dot Com, where
you can find a new line of the safest baby essentials.
The Healthy Baby Show is hosted by me shazivs From.
Our lead producer is Jennifer Bassett. Executive producers are Nikki Etre,
Anna Stump, Shazivs Fram and James Violette. Mastering and sound
designed by Carl Catle and Dan Bowsa. Additional writing and
(31:55):
research by Julia Weaver. Our theme music is by Anna
Stump and Hamilton's Light Houser. Additional music from Blue Dot
Sessions m
The Healthy Baby Show is a production of My Heart
podcast Network and Healthy Baby dot Com. I think the
reason baby blues the term was coined is because it
sounds cute and it sounds like what it should be
when you have a baby, because depression sounds morbid. But
the honest truth is you don't have to call it anything,
but you have to make sure you're saying you're not okay.
(00:21):
Autopilot kicks in when you're insurvival, so people say, how
are you doing, how's the baby. It's so much easier
to just say, yep, yep, we're good. We're good, You're
not good, and it's okay to not be good. There's
so much about having a baby that I wasn't prepared for,
and I feel like I've learned a lot. I want
(00:44):
to let you in on what I've discovered and save
you the time and effort. I'll give you a shortcut
through the hours of research, correspondence with experts, the roller
coaster of it all, so that you can walk away
with new knowledge that you can act upon. Every episode.
This is The Healthy Baby Show. I'm Shazivas from that
(01:12):
voice you heard before is Sarah Haynes. You might know
her from the View or Good Morning America. She's a
TV host and journalist who's been in the public eye
for more than a decade. She's also a mom to
three young children, Alex, Sandra, and Caleb. I asked Sarah
to join the show because she's spoken openly about her
journey into motherhood and struggles with postpartum depression. When I
(01:34):
started mapping out this series, I knew I wanted to
devote a full episode to the postpartum period. It's an
emotionally exhausting time. It's full of joy and apprehension, and
you spend months and months preparing for the arrival of
this tiny human and you end up with so much
more than you could have anticipated. A new body, changing hormones,
(01:56):
new rituals, schedules, but most importantly, this new lifelong relationship
that changes you forever. I always knew I wanted to
have babies and hoped i'd be able to, and I'd
also off and on. Starting in my twenties, been very
mindful of my mental health. Depression runs in my family.
(02:20):
I've learned through a lot of work that ideal with
specifically anxiety like depression, is a symptom usually of my
flaring anxiety. So when I had my first baby, I thought,
I know, I'm at higher odds of having some postpartum
depression anxiety. And I remember walking out on the stage
once here at the View and I was pregnant, and
(02:40):
Joy the Heart said to me that New York Times
just had an article come out about perinatal depression. Did
you read it? And I was like, no, I need
to because at that time in that pregnancy, I knew
to look for it after the baby. And it took
looking back to have a clarity of mind to see
that it had started to affect me very much during
(03:00):
the pregnancy. So looking back, the whole journey into that
first baby was definitely depression and a spike and anxiety.
But I knew something was wrong almost immediately because everyone
had described all these feelings you'd have right when you
have your baby, and I didn't have any bad feelings
(03:21):
towards my baby, which I had watched movies about, So
in my head, I thought, if you have bad feelings,
that's a red flag. I didn't have bad feelings. I
just didn't have feelings about my baby. It can be
difficult to talk about, but Sarah's experience is actually pretty common.
According to the CDC, one and eight women will experience
postpartum depression those some experts believe that number is much
(03:44):
higher like one and four, in part because women don't
always know what to look for when they're feeling that way,
that feeling of unfamiliar, even though the only thing that
had changed was actually additional. I had this baby. I
went home and I said to my husband, I cried
the first second day when you go to the doctor,
I said, Max, I have you and I have my
(04:06):
parents here, and I have the same apartment, and I
have my dog, Tricksie, who I was obsessed with. I said,
but I don't see anything that I recognize. It's like
I'm in a different world. And that was the best
way to describe the journey into that new motherhood is
nothing felt like me. I remember looking at my husband
(04:28):
like days in and I'm like, I'm leaving with the
chihuahua and I'm not coming back, you know, And he
was like, what are you doing? And I was like,
you guys will be better off. I was not trying
to self harm, and I would never have had negative
thoughts towards the baby. Again, this is the hard part
about recognizing a mental struggle. It made sense in my head.
It didn't sound like it does now. In my head,
(04:49):
I thought, and then over my head, you can't get
out of this. There's no option. I'm not going to
like all of a sudden, give this kid up for
adoption or you know, but I clearly am not cut
out for this job. And I can see it's a
man infestation of anxiety. But I never assumed it was
because of the baby. Now looking back, I don't know
how that was lost on me. But I sometimes when
(05:11):
I'm really emotional or low, say, I wonder if the
baby picked up on all that I was going through
and clung to the parent that could take care of him.
So it's still a journey. I had postpartum again with
my third. I can speak for your babies. They love
you like crazy. They only have one mom that's you.
So I have this feeling that's what they will tell
(05:33):
you later in life. Well, and they tell me, And
then there are moments where I forget. I'm just like
I loved my mom, like no matter what, you know.
I I look and I'm like, wait, I'm that to them.
It's sometimes hard for me to you know, the juxtaposition.
So my son has aught to him and he was
totally typically developing the first two years, and I was
running this company that was like the fastest growing food
(05:55):
company in the country for babies, but I would only
see him at night. So like, you know, I mean
I was working like crazy. I mean I take him
everywhere with us. He would roll with a lot of travel.
He was making all the milestones. But then I think
about it, and I like, the earlier you get a
diagnosis than the earlier you can get to work and
possibly really like affected outcome. But like I think of
(06:16):
would my son be more connected if I had been
there more or would I have recognized anything that was
different sooner had I spent more time. Had I ever
taken him to an actual plateate myself? You know? And um,
which none of this is rational. One has nothing to do.
But it's so hard. But it's like it's funny because
it's easy for me to hear your story and just
(06:38):
like my heart breaks for you to go through pain
like that when you just created a new life and
new you know, it's such a special ability that we
women have and it comes with all this stuff. I
really relate to that. I imagine you know, your best
friend wanting to help you and wanting to be there.
(06:58):
For some reason, when I think about my own story,
I don't have the empathy for myself the way that
I would for I don't know why. It's time for
a quick break, but we'll be back in a minute.
(07:20):
Welcome back to the show. I find that people learn
a lot from what others are going through and being
able to share in their space. That takes away the
feeling of I'm alone in this, and many times I
do think in the postpartum phase women do feel that
they're alone. That voice you hear is Dr Jessica Shephard
and O B g U, i n and women's health
(07:41):
expert and also the founder of her Viewpoint, an online
women's health forum that focuses on addressing taboo topics in
a safe environment. I really focus my practice not only
on the physical health of women, but also the emotional
and mental aspect, as well as the sexual health aspect
(08:03):
of these journeys that women go through. And I think
when women go through those actual changes that occur, there's
the sense of I have to have control now because
I have a new infant or infants, and I have
to be brave for everybody else while again putting ourselves
to the back burner. And these changes can obviously come
(08:25):
in the form of anxiety in the sense that you
have to take care of a new human, but also
the changes hormonally that happened that elicits some of these
responses and fluctuations that we may see exhibited through mood.
After having to I thought, I'm actually going to say
this out loud. We cannot have another baby. It would
(08:47):
be a death blow to my mental health. I'm getting
this new show, and that is such a huge privilege
that we just need to now be really careful. And
I found out after having that conversation two weeks later
that I was pregnant. I collapsed in my bathroom and
started heaving, and my boss at the time called and
(09:08):
she was asking me to fill in for someone who
had just had a baby, and she said, you know
how it is when you first have a baby, And
all of a sudden, I got really quiet because I
had just looked at the test and I didn't think
I could speak without crying, and I said, I'm pregnant,
like I hadn't even told my husband I literally had
a full blown breakdown on the phone. I didn't know
(09:28):
where the tears were coming from. If it was fear.
I knew it was a bad time, but I also
knew that there was a baby and all the beauty.
It was such an intersection of feelings like that's such
a beautiful thing that I can't do it. We can't
do it. What do I say? I can't go back
to a job that just gave me this opportunity and
be like, yeah, we thought it was a great time
to have a baby, so we did that. All of
(09:48):
it felt like red flags everywhere. That pretty much was
the foreshadowing for the entire pregnancy into the birth. I
struggled the entire your time. That new show was ABC's
Strayhan and Sarah. It was designed for her and marked
(10:09):
the pinnacle of her career at that time. So as
we got close to me having the baby, there was
a big pressure on me because my name was in
the title of the show. It was Michael and Sarah,
and Michael was going to be out. He had certain
plans and vacation things, and I was having a baby.
They were pretty much like, I don't know how you
(10:30):
survive a show where the two named people are gone
at the same time, and I was like, well, if
I could readjust the dates of this baby, I sure would,
but I don't have a choice. Like I was telling them,
I was like, I'll come back at a week because
in my mind I had gotten the time and taken it.
And I would never want to encourage other women to
do what I was thinking at the time, which is, uh,
I'll do anything. But a part of me thought I
(10:51):
was getting this amazing professional opportunity that not only served me,
but sort of all the family. I had had two
kids and come home and had my time off and
been lucky enough for all that. And I thought, sadly,
women every day in this country go back to work immediately,
like I can do it too. This is a real
privileged position I'm in. I'm going to do it. I
also look back and I wasn't fully well, you know,
(11:15):
it's all about the woman when she's pregnant, but it's
really about like monitoring her. And I think there's a
lot that's missed in these check up appointments. It's really
about like making sure she has all these like check
marks that checked off. I think it's very little about,
how's her emotional health, what's her diet like, what's her
lifestyle like, what's her partnership like. As we know, they're
(11:38):
very quick visits and you can't fit a lot of
other questions in. Hano has made a career out of
helping women navigate those first few months after a baby's born.
She founded mother Be's, an l a based food delivery
service turned lifestyle brand. She's also the author of two books,
including The First Forty Days, The Essential Art of Nourishing
(12:00):
the New Mother. Her work is inspired by her Chinese culture,
specifically the practice of sua. Yeah, it's a It's a
postnatal confinement period that dates back to the Middle Ages
and was designed to help women as they recover from pregnancy, labor,
and birth. It's always been part of my upbringing. My
aunts would always say, when you have a baby, you
(12:24):
know you have to do this, you have to do this,
like and it was just like, Okay, I got it,
you know, conceptually, but I don't know what that may
look like until I actually gave birth. Yeah. Sometimes it
doesn't feel real until it's like real and then you're like, whoa,
I have this human that I'm in charge of and
(12:45):
I made this human and now I have to take
care of him, and yeah, you come home, you're like, oh,
I think everybody asked themselves that now what question. It's
shocking because you've got this little baby in your belly
for so long, and then in a way, at that time,
it's all about you. And I just remembered the minute
the baby was born and then you know, and I
had like a C section. It was pretty hardcore, and
(13:07):
I felt like I had gone through something intensely traumatic personally,
but all of a sudden, it was not about me,
you know, And then it's about the baby. And you're
in this position. Of course you're the mom, but that's
kind of when you need the most support and care.
What do we give back to the actual members of
(13:30):
society who were populating our country, which are mothers and women.
What do we give back to them for the time physically, emotionally,
mentally spent in pregnancy. And that's six weeks. That's doctor
Shepherd again. We give six weeks for that recovery and
expect women to come back to work completely healed physically,
(13:54):
emotionally mentally, to do their job in the same capacity
while having a newborn and that's not an easy thing
to do. But also there's a lot of Americans who
don't have the resources and access to do anything else
but do that. There's this survival instinct of you don't
have a choice to fail, like it's not even on
(14:14):
the table, you know, even the privileges of just alec
my first if I left, he was in good hands
and I was fine. But as soon as that parenting
kicks in and you feel like a mom, you know
no one will scrap harder than you for those kids,
and to look at them every day, you realize instantly
(14:34):
your purpose that if all else fails, you show up
for them. And so there was a source of strength
in coming home to those little turkeys who didn't know
the difference in the days. They just were happy to
see me and climbed all over you demanded everything. It
was the best feeling in the world because there was
no disappearing, there was no unfamiliar there was nothing. They
(14:55):
literally climbed me like a jungle gym, and that grounded
me in a weird way. It was demanding and it
was labor intensive, but I didn't even have time to
organize the paper towels or get lost in my compulsions
because their demands and needs were so eminent and present
that they kind of save you. When I think that
(15:17):
survival mode, I think that is like a mother's instinct
in a way, because like at the end of the day,
I mean, I would gladly walk in front of any bus,
lose any limb, anything for my son or my daughter.
I would do. You know. It's just like not even
a question, and it's not me putting myself last or anything.
It's just that that's just who I am. It's just
(15:37):
that's the one thing I that's like in my blood.
I don't know. I don't know where it came from.
It's a selfless love, this force of nature that it's
not less than putting yourself. It's saying I will do
anything to make sure they're okay. It's strange, but it's
ferocious and it's uncontrollable. Like it doesn't it doesn't rest.
(15:58):
It doesn't rest because it's bio chemical. During and after pregnancy,
a woman's body goes into overdrive. Brain activity in the
magdala increases, making us more in tune, more empathetic, and
also more anxious. Levels of estrogen progesterone and oxytocin surge
and plummet. It's a lot, and it all underscores the
(16:19):
need for more support for women after they give birth.
Han says in China, the first forty days after birth
are akin to a fourth trimester. It's probably because they
wanted to produce really healthy citizens and a really healthy society,
so they invest a lot of effort and resources in
(16:42):
ministration and pregnancy and definitely postpart of In the West,
that's often not the case. Take the US for example,
it's one of just six countries worldwide without any national
form of paid parental leave. Federal law guarantees new mother's
just six weeks unpaid time off, and that's if they qualify.
(17:06):
That would probably be the first thing I would do
in the legislative perspective is increase the postpartum time frame
in which it's covered from an employer standpoint. And also
an easy way to do that is to actually provide
and cover childcare for a certain time frame right because
(17:28):
in the workforce, no one wants workers who are one stressed,
going through postpartum depression. Possibly the bonding moment with their
child is over all of those really contribute to how
well we're able to be efficient and effective in the workspace.
So when I was researching for the book, I went
out to China and I just like, Okay, I'm gonna,
(17:49):
you know, follow the grandmother down the alleyway and ask
her questions. And I did also visit a postpartum center,
which is really my goal. When I was in Shanghai.
It's an a massive building and you walk in their security.
There's marble floors, there's fountains, and I was just so
just stepped back in terms of like, wow, this is
(18:12):
all built for the new mom and the baby. They
said that they had, you know, a pool for the baby.
The moms had seven care they had the acupuncturists, they
had herbal medicine, food brought up to them any time
of the day and night. And this is for about
a month minimum. I think even at this place, you know,
it ranges from like thousand and fifty thou a month.
(18:34):
It could be very little too, but yet they still
have that practice, that investment that families contributes after the
wedding and then it's like, okay, I'm going to prepare
this money for the birth of the child, not so
much of the pregnancy phase and the labor, but it's
more so the postpartum. Hans books and her company are
really personal. They're all about finding ways to nourish new moms.
(18:58):
I mean, look at her. She founded mother Be's twelve
years ago after the birth of her third child. She
was newly single, dealing with postpartum depression and raising a
newborn and two toddlers. I started off with post farm
because it was an area that just wasn't really recognized
back then. Obviously, if you look into the Chinese communities,
(19:19):
they've been doing this for you know, their lives. But
outside of Chinese communities, nothing really existed. You know. When
I just started making food for just anybody that was pregnant,
I'm like, oh my god, you're pregnant, so I'm gonna
make you food. I'm gonna drop it off. Don't worry
about it. I'm gonna drop it off, you know. So
I kind of just like did it and again it
kept me busy and also kept me because it was
(19:39):
a really painful time. But it's such a cool, correct
thing to feed another mother. It's like very it's so beautiful,
I think, so I think it helps ease the mom's
space of capacity, knowing that she's being fed, knowing that
someone thinks about her, supports her at the hospital when
(19:59):
they say, okay, when you're coming in for delivery, bring
your support system. That's doctor Shepherd again. Everyone would spend
so much time I find on things that I really
don't matter. And I'm saying this from an O B
G Y in perspective. When people spend so much time
on the what to take to the hospital bag, the
overnight bag, how many of that stuff did you actually use? Right,
(20:21):
It's like none, maybe like two percent of what is
in the bag. But how much time do we actually
spend on our emotional health in a postpartum way that
would say what is in my emotional health overnight bag? Right?
The things that are really going to help me when
I reach that moment that I don't expect to know
how severe it's going to be. I think we need
(20:44):
to lend time to that. Han agrees. She says founding
mother Be's helped her realize how important it is to
have that after birth plan, a road map for you
and your partner. I think listening out and having very clear,
your honest conversations about okay, you know this is what
I can handle. This is what I get overwhelmed with.
(21:07):
How are they going to overcome the challenges and how
are they going to understand each other? You know when
it's like it's because we know it just it grips
at you and it takes you at your ultimate vulnerable state,
and you're hungry, you're tired, you haven't washed your hair,
you haven't showered for days, you haven't brush your teeth,
you're sweating, you're wearing the same clothes. Maybe your milk
(21:27):
isn't flowing us as you would wish too. I And
then there's a partner not understanding and not seeing and
not being empathetic, being compassionate. Oh my gosh, we haven't
even talked about breastfeeding. That's Sarah Haynes again. That journey
set off more anxiety and the pressure is especially of
extended friends and family, to count it on how long
(21:48):
you should be breastfeeding. And I'm like, I'm literally some
days feel like I'm dying sitting here, and the privilege
of talking about how much milk I got or how
long I'm going to feed. I remember my mother in
law's Russian. She's like, what are you gonna do when
you stop breastfeeding. I said, I don't know, it depends
on when I stopped. Probably give the baby formula formula,
(22:09):
like and I just looked and I thought, oh, hell no,
I am not doing this right now. Like I conversation
after conversation, I'd be like when my mother in law
and we'd be out in a restaurant and I'm really
adamant about just being that freakish person that puts something
in your face. So I'm like, good, good, bring it out.
She's like trying to cover me, you know, and put
(22:31):
this like yep, put the napkin on me, and and
I'm like, I don't give a funk what I like
right now to other people, I don't care. And this
is hard enough without trying to cover myself. This is
a hard thing. Yeah, this is enough. And I kind
of like holding him here. This is working for me
in this moment. So yeah, like, let's stop with this judging.
Actually I'm happy. I used to have this office with
(22:51):
a big window, and I would just take my shirt
completely off and have my pump on, and I would
be like on the phone with the pump, and I
just wanted everybody in the office to always see it
good and like here it in the background, yep, yep,
and it became a part of our company culture. You
had a space to make a difference. I was part
of an older show, but we called it pump and
(23:13):
prep here because the producers would come in to prep me.
Thank god they were mostly woman. I would argue that
that's still okay. But I would sit in here and
I'd have to pump on and you hear who whoo
who's and the producers would come in. I'd put pump
and prep out, like knowing this is my space. So
you're the visitor and I'm pumping in here. So if
you're comfortable with that, come on in. If you're not, don't.
(23:34):
But this is what's going to happen beyond breastfeeding. I
asked Han if she had any other advice for new
mothers to prepare for their postpartum period. I would say,
very early on in your pregnancy, start to maybe putting
some money away for your postpartum time. Even if it's
(23:56):
like five dollars a month or whatever. You know you
could put aside, but it's really for yourself in that time.
You know, as you approach birth, you want to stock
some of the food and stock your pantry with like
very snackable items and also very easily to digest items,
and also setting boundaries within laws or visitors who come,
(24:17):
you know, setting them out notes before you give birth
and say you know, this is why I prefer you
know I love you so much, but you know I'm
only limited to a forty five minute visit. And if
you come, please bring some sort of healthy food, help
me stock up. If you see dishes in the sink,
please help me wash them, maybe put some laundry away,
And know that I'm not here to entertain you and
(24:40):
know that my time and energy is limited. I asked
AFR Shepherd how we can help, especially if we suspect
that one of our friends or someone in our family
is suffering from the signs of PPD. It's almost like
they need an aggressive support system because many times I
can do it. That's fine, No, I don't need any help.
(25:01):
That's okay, I've got it right. But that support system
needs to come in the support of not asking, but
suggesting and telling where they're going to support. I am
coming to watch the baby for two hours. I am
bringing you food. I'm coming to do your laundry right,
And then another way to do that, if you want
to be just kind of forward, is just saying, you
(25:23):
know what, whether I've experienced this myself or I've heard
that a new mom can go through these types of feelings,
I actually booked a online therapy session for you. So
then again that goes in the support system of being
aggressive with I've already planned it for you, and obviously
it may not be taken at that time, but what
if it is even later, right, Sarah says when it
(25:45):
comes to coping with PPD, her best advice is to
know that you're not alone. There are resources, And the
beautiful part is we live in the times of the internet.
There was a time where the isolation was even worse
because all you had we're friends and others to reach
out to. And sometimes the way it was isn't the
way it should be. In fact, most of my stories
(26:05):
where I get comfort start with me saying I struggled
or I'm really having a hard time. All the sudden,
people that present on Instagram one way often feel comfortable
to say, you know what, my sister went through some
stuff with her second and all of a sudden, it
opens the door for potential conversations. And if you get
help from a doctor and they say or suggest maybe
(26:27):
going on medicine again that I leave that medical advice
up to a personal doctor and an individual. But I
also think that has been stigmatized, and there's a lot
of modern medicines that do not affect, whether it's breast
milk or during pregnancy. Get the help you need individually,
and don't judge the journey. Was there a stigma to
get off of medication when you were pregnant and afterwards?
(26:50):
I don't think I talk to anyone specifically. I wasn't
actively in therapy and I had been off medicine. I
knew how to wean off of what I was doing.
So I had come off medicine and stayed off medicine,
thinking without asking that I couldn't be on medicine having
a baby, no wonder. I hit such a low low
And so when I finally asked for help and went
(27:11):
to a therapist and said I'm not okay, they inquire.
They finally fill a picture and find out I had
been on medicine. Well why did you come off? And
I was like, like, I just thought you needed to
come off medicine. They're like, absolutely not. What the doctor
explained to me is your fear of affecting that baby
through your medicine, I can promise you is not as
potent as the stress hormone that you're releasing every time
(27:31):
you're overwhelmed. We'll be back after a quick break, Welcome
back to the Healthy Baby Show. I asked all three
women about the future, what they think postpartum care will
look like in the years to come, and how we
(27:52):
can better support you moms. I do think we have
a lack of therapists, psychiatrist, psychologists just in the mental
health space alone. There's so much needed and there's not
that many providers. And I think that's another thing is
we need to really look into how we can increase
those numbers. That's a whole another discussion. But doing it
in groups sometimes people don't want to be alone in
(28:15):
a room with there, but doing it in a group
setting can also decrease the cost to the client and
to new moms, but it also allows them to form
connection with others who are going through similar things with them.
I feel like one big learning I guess modality that
I picked up is understanding and honoring transitions when you're
(28:38):
breastfitting to diaper changing, like honoring yourself, maybe closing your
eyes and putting your hands on your knees and grounding yourself,
or maybe go into the bathroom in your bedroom where
somewhere alone for just thirty seconds or twenty seconds or
a minute and just you know, closing your eyes and
just like it's like taking a nice deep breath, and
even if the baby's crying watching you, take a deep breath,
(28:58):
just for a second, even if you're not, you know,
hiding in the bathroom or in the shower, which I
do to still to this day. I think it teaches
your baby too that it's positive to have a moment
of self care because it teaches them to watch you
self regulate, and that teaches them to crave self regulation too.
(29:21):
One thing I realized looking back that I wish i'd
known is from the moment you find out you're pregnant,
Sarah as an individual kind of fades away. Every conversation
is the baby, How you're doing, do you know what
it is? What appointment are you on? Anyone that talks
to you. Then you start to visually change and strangers,
how's the baby? Oh my gosh, when are you do this?
(29:43):
And all well meaning and nothing offensive there, but it
slowly creates this image that you're no longer there. And
then that whole isolation of becoming a mom, especially with
the first baby, when you're by yourself and you're with
that baby, and even though you have a partner their
life and pick up the way yours did, so they
often go back to work and this, and now you're
alone and you think you recognize yourself. You don't recognize
(30:06):
your body, you don't recognize your schedule, lack of sleep,
as you not recognizing anything in your view, you feel
like you're losing your mind and you're like, just tell
me what to do. And so I think you just
lose your whole identity and self as you become a mom.
It's almost like something has to die to be born,
like you will never come back to what you were
(30:27):
and holding on to who you are throughout remembering moms
are also individuals. They have passions, they have hobbies, they
have families, they have sisters, mothers, brother that autonomy of self.
I think if everyone can remember that that mom is
there and remember that her name is Sarah, how are
you Sarah, what are you reading? Sarah? You don't stop
watching movies and reading when you're pregnant. And I think
(30:50):
all of the normalcy of what you were treated like
starts from the moment you announce a pregnancy all the
way through to when you find your normal again. And
remember that I can be mom, but I'm also of
very much Sarah. All right, that's it for the show
this week. Next week, we'll be talking about how delayed
(31:12):
chord clamping can set a strong foundation for your baby's
health into the future, and we'll discuss the pros and
cons of chord blood banking and my own experience with it.
We'll also talk about the mind blowing ways that stem
cells may be used now and in the future. Join
us next time. The Healthy Baby Show is a production
(31:33):
of iHeart podcast Network and healthy baby dot Com, where
you can find a new line of the safest baby essentials.
The Healthy Baby Show is hosted by me shazivs From.
Our lead producer is Jennifer Bassett. Executive producers are Nikki Etre,
Anna Stump, Shazivs Fram and James Violette. Mastering and sound
designed by Carl Catle and Dan Bowsa. Additional writing and
(31:55):
research by Julia Weaver. Our theme music is by Anna
Stump and Hamilton's Light Houser. Additional music from Blue Dot
Sessions m
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