October 19, 2022 • 31 mins
Amanda Kloots joins Bobbi to discuss her constant strive to prioritize the important things following the tragic loss of her husband Nick Cordero.From ways to talk about their loss with her son Elvis, to finding the balance in continuing her career, to the struggles of dating again…and what she has found to be the most inspirational way to start off each day.
There’s a lot to relate to in this episode of The Important Things.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I first heard about a Man Decludes during the pandemic
because she was always in the news and on social
about this awful thing that was happening with her husband
and how she sat by his side and ultimately unfortunately
lost him. But she has such a positive force and attitude.
(00:22):
I so admire her how she has been in the
public eye and really helped people who are going through
things in their lives that I'm really excited to talk
to her. And here just how she does it, and
here about her little son and all her cool projects.
So here is my conversation with the man Decludes. Hello, Hi,
(00:43):
how are you. Hi? I'm glad are you I'm good?
Nice to me too, Yes, it's nice to meet you too.
Thanks for having me. Where where am I catching you?
I'm in l A. We just finished filming the talk today,
so I'm just wrapping it up starting the second half
of my day. I always think of like the talk
(01:04):
is the first part of my day, and then and
then everything else after that. What time What time do
you start your day? You know, we we start work
at eight thirty, that's like when our first zoom is
and then usually done by you know noon, unless we
have things that we're doing afterwards. But you know, my
little boy gets me up around six thirty seven, so
(01:24):
so no, that's why I was asking because I've always
been a working mom. So you know, what time do
you start your day? Do you get up before your
son gets up? Do you get up with him? No, Bobby,
what's happening these days is he sleeps with me at
the moment, And because I love the kids so much
and I love cuddling with him so much, I don't
(01:45):
even care, so I'm like, sure, it comes sleep with me.
And the second I even try to like wiggle myself
out of bed, even just to use the bathroom, it's
like his seventh cents kicks in and he's like he
wakes up immediately Mom is gone and there's a freak out.
So I really have to like gently wake him up
(02:08):
and give him kisses and be like I'm gonna go
to the bathroom, and then he usually says I come
to Well. I am totally totally smiling because I raised
three sons. Oh I remember, I do, and I was.
I never listened to anyone and I don't know how
I got pregnant the second or the third time, because
they always slept with us, you know, but yeah, it
(02:31):
goes Honestly, it goes fast. And I just had my
first grandkids, so it's like it's just crazy. And so
I get it and and take every minute of what
you got of him. So of all the cuddles, right,
I know, like we've and we've gone through stages of
him sleeping in his crib and and and not, and
this is sort of again a new stage of him
(02:52):
being back in bed with me. And I'm like, I
don't have anyone else in my bed, So come on,
how are you doing in general? All? You know, I mean,
since it's been two years since Nick passed. Yeah, two years. Um,
you know, I'm not gonna lie. I had a really
hard September for some reason, I mean not for some reason.
(03:12):
It was our anniversary, it's his birthday. September always feels
like a new start to me, Like you know this,
it feels more to me like a new year than January. Um,
and I think like with all those events that are important,
you know, and Elvis going to school and and uh,
it was a hard It was a hard month. I've
I've felt off recently. Um. And Elvis is starting to
(03:36):
ask me questions about Nick and where he is, and
so I feel like that part of brief is going
to start happening. Um, where I have to now face
his grief after you know, dealing with mine for the
last two years and under you know, helping Elvis understand
in at this young age, you know where Dad is,
(03:57):
why Dad doesn't live with us, you know what happened
to Dad. And it's been really really, really hard, and
even just at this year, like his age, and he
doesn't want me to leave the house, he doesn't want
babysitters to come over. So find a balance of a
working mom and trying to also maybe go on a
date here there isn't is really hard and you feel
(04:18):
guilty every time you leave the house and he's crying. Um,
so yeah, it's it's actually been really hard lately. I've
had a lot of nights where I've cried and this
isn't fair and life isn't fair and I shouldn't be
in this position. I've had a lot of like, yeah,
and it's normal. I know it's normal and I have
(04:38):
no reason to be woe is me, But I've I've
been a little boe is me lately and it's I
hate it. I actually don't like how it feels. But
I'm just being honest. But you're You're allowed to feel
what you feel, and you know it's important. And you know,
I'm not a shrink. I'm a makeup artist, which is
something like a shrink. But you know, you've you've got
to go through what you have to go through, and
(05:00):
you know, how lucky and yeah, everything does suck, but
how lucky you have this little boy who was able to, like,
you know, fill you fill you up? Does he remember
his dad? You know? He says that he does, which
is crazy because I don't know if that's because I
we watched so many videos together of Nick um or
(05:20):
if I talk because I talk about Nick so much,
but he does. He does say that, and I love it,
but it makes me wonder because I have no memories
from two or three years old or actually I'm sorry,
the only memories he would have with Nick are for
zero to ten months. I don't remember anything from those times,
so I don't I don't know, but you know, he'll
(05:42):
say things that he does, so I'm just I'm going
with it, you know, And how are you like? What
do you tell him where dad is? Oh, we just
had to start this conversation. So I have said that
Dada lives in heaven with Jesus and UM, but he's
all around us all the time, and we can always
(06:02):
talk to him, and we can listen to him saying
and UM, and he's watching over us all the time.
That's what I That's what I've said so far. Okay,
Well it's yeah, it's it's a it's a journey. But
you seem I don't know you, but what I've read
and when I seem you seem like a very positive,
upbeat person by nature, and and that you know that
(06:25):
could only help in the long term. Well, first of all,
you're so freaking pretty. I just have to tell you
that's very kind of you. Thank you. The least important
thing out there. But I just had to get it
out of the way. Did you model? Oh? I mean
I did some commercial modeling when I first moved to
New York when I was going to school at eighteen.
But um, but that was it because I do remember
(06:47):
uh going to I think it was Spared and they
a modeling meeting and they said you could do it
a turtle, but you'd have to lose forty pounds and
uh yeah, and I was like, well what Tommy, more
about commercial print but forty pounds but you've never But
that wasn't you being overweight. That was you just being normal.
(07:08):
That was me being normal. Yes, yeah, oh my gosh, okay,
well it's a good thing you didn't do that. And
what did you study in college? Musical theater. I went
to a musical theater conservatory in New York City. And
so you started your career as a dancer, dancer, actor, singer. Yes, yeah,
I I went to school for all three of those things,
(07:29):
a musical theater conservatory. I was mostly a dancer. Um,
but you know, to be on Broadway you have to
act and sing. So I rounded myself out at school
and then um started performing in musicals. Uh and and
how does that? And then what about being on the talk?
How does how did those skills serve you? And what
did you have to do differently? Oh my, well the
(07:52):
talk came out of nowhere? I mean that was when
you know, I moved to l A. I just so
I did Broadway for sixteen years and then and started
my own fitness business. So left Broadway, started my own business,
became a female entrepreneur, loved it, moved to Los Angeles
with Nick Uh. He was doing a show here in
Want to Pursue Music here, and I was only running
(08:13):
my fitness company. And then everything happened with the pandemic
and the casting. UH woman here at the talk was
following the story, and UM. Once Nick passed and they
were back up and running, they asked me to come
on and guest co host. And I think, you know,
Broadway teaches you everything, every skill possible in life, UM
(08:38):
and so, and then you know, in doing my own
fitness business, I had done so many morning television shows
and and interviews, etcetera, etcetera. So this kind of you know,
platform wasn't unfamiliar to me, but it was definitely was like, okay,
let's go on, Let's go on the talk and see
how I like co hosting. And I loved it. I
(08:59):
loved it so U. It felt very much like right
at home. And luckily they thought so too, and then
they hired Ah that's so cool. So tell me about
the fitness business. The fitness business, UM, I started when
I was thirty two. I had been performing on Broadway
and television and movies for sixteen years and I kind
(09:20):
of at the point where I just was done because
it's a very hard life. I mean, you're constantly in
and out of work. You're constantly being told when and
how long and what you can do. Um. And I
was thirty two years old and I was in a
Broadway show, and I thought it was just going to
be a show that would run for years and I
would be able to have babies and buy a house
(09:42):
one day. And then everything sort of erupted. I was
going I went through a divorce with my first husband
after seven years of marriage. He was in a show
that was touring at the time, so we were never
seeing each other. And then this Broadway show that I
thought would be kind of like my saving grace for
a while, this unexpectedly closed after a couple of months.
(10:03):
So I was it was bullets over bullets over Broadway,
and it was what happened, you know, it was it
was a beautiful show, but it was in the midst
and the height of the Woody Allen, you know, scandal
and uh and in the show got bad reviews and
we ended up closing and it was devastating, and so
(10:24):
I found myself unemployed thirty two, going through divorce and
I just looked at my life and I was like,
I need to take control of my life. I can't
be living this in and out of show life if
I want a family and if I want a home
one day, and I need to be able to support
myself now that I don't have a husband that supported
helping to support me. And so I was like, you
(10:45):
know what, I'm just going to take a chance and
start a business. I had an idea for a jumper
of class, and um, I was like, you know what
I'm gonna I'm a trained clients privately and start making
money that way, and then hopefully launched this jumper class
and that's what I did. Cool and and it still exists, right,
(11:05):
It still exists and now is basically all um digital.
I have an app that I run and everything through
the app. I still teach over zoom once a week, um,
just to keep up with live teaching because I love that.
And I get hired to teach fitness events here and there,
but it's mostly online now through my app, and uh yeah,
(11:27):
it's my baby. It's the it's I love that business
so much. It means the world to me. It it
helped me find myself again, and um, I'm so I'm
just so proud of it. And I'm I'm so proud
of the underlying message of my fitness business and and
what that means and just how important moving your body
(11:47):
is every day. It's you know, it's it's so important
to me that message. So I I yeah, I love
my fitness business. And how what motivation do you have
for people listening saying oh, I really want to try,
but I don't know where to start. I mean, I
work out all the time, so I know how important
it is. But what about the people that are kind
of sitting on their couch saying, oh, you know, I'd say,
(12:08):
first of all, get up and walk while you're listening
to the podcast. What's your what's your motivation? Yeah, my motivation, Um,
it was always this, but then the pandemic amplified it. Um.
My motivation is that we are so lucky to be
able to move our bodies, Like I think we take
it for granted on a daily basis because we're tired
(12:30):
or cold outside, or I don't have a membership to
a gym, I don't have a trainer, and just not
in the mood, and I feel like We are so
lucky to be able to wake up and to stand
on two feet, and to be able to walk, and
to be able to jump, to be able to smile
while doing it and enjoy it, and be able to
(12:52):
treat our bodies in a way that only strengthens our
mind and our soul and our our purpose and life.
And I don't think it should ever be taken for granted.
Working out isn't a chore, it is a privilege. And
you know, for nine days I sat beside my husband
and he could not move, He could not move his body,
(13:13):
he could not stand up. And I know from knowing
him that all he I mean, if if if he
could have even just sat up, Bobby, he couldn't even
he didn't have the strength to sit up, let alone
open his eyes. And we are are so lucky to
be able to do it every day, and yet we'll
(13:33):
complain about it and we take it for granted. And
it's just fitness, to me, is not about a gene size.
It's about that, it's about strengthening your body, your mind.
It is about relieving stress and anxiety, and it's about
not taking it for granted the fact that we're able
to move and if you have five minutes or fifty
(13:54):
five minutes, you do it every single day. Because it's
so you're you're you you can't because you can't, well
you're you're saying it's jump rope based. My That's how
I started my company with a jump rope, and then
I ended up creating a jump rope, and now I
sal a jump rope, but I have workouts on my
app from dance fitness then to full body training, little
(14:16):
to know um equipment so that you can really do
it anywhere at any time. You know, so much of
your story is so shared with the public. I mean,
you know, I I followed along or you know, during
(14:37):
the pandemic. I I didn't know you, but I was hooked.
I mean I couldn't imagine what you were going through
and how you were you know, sharing this with people.
Do you think this has like helped you personally? I
know it's helped a lot of people to be part
of the journey. Yes, you know, absolutely, I think. Um.
(14:59):
You know, I was in therapy after everything that happened,
and I asked my therapist that question. I said, you
know why, I said, you know, people would ask me
all the time you know, you don't have to keep
updating everybody on Instagram, Like, isn't this just like exhausting?
Like how are you doing this day in and day out?
And I said to him, I said, why I'm asking
(15:19):
you as a therapist. Why did that make me feel better?
Because all I can tell you is I would be
having a horrible day and then I would get on
Instagram and I would do a live or I would
sing nick song and I was joined by a lot
of people, and I would talk to you know, this
audience that was not talking back to me. It was
just me talking to somebody. And I said it would
(15:40):
make me feel better. And he goes, you really don't
know why? And I said no, and he goes, Amanda,
because you weren't doing it alone. You're a community, he said.
Any time we try to do something ourselves, it's so
much harder. He was, like, you were already living basically alone,
going through something almost basically alone your day in and
day out. You're you know, we're all trapped in our houses,
(16:02):
he said, But you weren't. You had you built this
community around you to support you and to love you
and to give you advice and to share things with is,
and of course it made you feel better. You had
a community. So it was that for me and I've
learned so much from that that the more we share
our stories, however hard it is to do so, you
(16:23):
end up feeling better because you've gotten it out of
your body and you've shared it with somebody. And when
I hear people's stories now, it helps me. Like whenever
I hear somebody you know, a lot of people now
come to me with their stories about you know, losing
somebody to you know, COVID related things, or just any anything.
And whenever I hear somebody else's story, it helps me too.
(16:45):
It helps me feel us alone. So I just I
really feel like the more we share, the more we learn,
and the more it helps us to grow and and
and change, you know, and heal. I could imagine, like
your choice would be to not get off the couch
or the bed or to get up and do this.
You you you know, you're very very brave and you know,
(17:08):
and you you seem like you're doing as well as
you know could be expected. Are you dating? Is that
even something that's you know, entering your mind. Yeah, No,
I have been dating. Um, I've I've been dating for
a little while now. Um. I it's funny though that
you asked, because I think I'm going to go on
(17:30):
a little dating hiatus at the moment. It's been, it's been.
It's been very hard, um. And I not only finding
the time being a single mom with a lot of jobs, um,
but also it's just um for me right now, I'm
(17:50):
just I'm not finding anybody that I really connect with.
And so I'll go on a date and and I'll
have had a wonderful time and the person across to
me is wonder full and we have a great conversation,
but for but for me, that connection isn't there. And
so then I end up leaving the date and I
end up feeling a little bit um like sad, you know,
(18:12):
like sad that like I wonder if I'm gonna find
somebody again. I wonder if I'm gonna find that connection
that I, you know, have had in my life before.
And so I end up feeling like a little like
I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna stay depressed a
little bit about it. And so I've just noticed in
these last couple of weeks of of really dating and
like I'm I'm really trying. I'm like going to meet
(18:34):
a coffee here, have a tea here, a glass of
wine here, a dinner there, and and like I said,
everybody has been really great, but it's just it's left
me sort of in in um feeling a little bit depressed.
And so I kind of stepped back recently the last
couple of days, and I've just been like, you know what,
maybe I need to take a pause, um and and
(18:56):
and not do this right now because I don't think
it's serving um, it's not serving me well. So UM,
so I'm gonna I'm gonna take a little dating break
at the moment, focus on my son. But have these
been fixed ups or a little bit of both. I'm
on an app, so a lot of a lot of
meeting people through an app and then also um, also
(19:18):
fixing up through friends. I have no doubt you will
find who you're supposed to be with. But you've you've
been so incredible sharing your story. I know you wrote
a book during um, you know, after after your experiences.
What was the name of your book, again, Live your Life?
And yeah, it was a memoir about you know, everything
(19:40):
that happened, but also the love story between Nick and
I and and how that happened and everything that happened
with yes, with COVID and also you're an author. Now
you have a children's book. Yeah, the children's book, um
will come out next year. And UM, so crazy it was.
(20:00):
It was honestly a dream of mine. UM back when
when I when Elvis first was born. UM, I don't
know if you found this, but I found that I
was like so inspired by Elvis in so many different ways,
especially being a new mom. Um. And one of the
things that really happened, you know, right away, was I
had all these ideas for children's books, and so I
(20:23):
wrote it on my vision board back in twenty nineteen
that I, you know, wanted to do children's books. So
to actually haven't materialized now is sort of crazy. Um
and it and it's very sweet. It came out of
UM just our Elvis and I. We have a nightly
routine when I put him to bed. This is when
he was sleeping in his career. Because I told you
(20:43):
before he's not anymore. He's now sleeping with Mama, but
but we still do the tradition. But I rocked him
and I started asking him, do you want me to
tell you your dreams, and he started interacting him by
and saying yes. And so then I just each night
would make up this fantastical dream about what he was
(21:05):
gonna do and where he was going to go. And
because I really tried to incorporate Nick and a lot
of things that we do, I would always incorporate Nick
in the dream that you know, he would meet meet
up with Dada and they'd go on and adventure together,
and then Dada would bring him back home and put
him back in his crib and kiss him good night.
(21:26):
And then in the morning, Mama would come into your
room and wake you up and ask you all about
what happened with your dream. And so I started doing
this every night. It was just like our routine. And
after a while I I thought, you know, gosh, maybe
this is a children's book. And so I pitched it
to HarperCollins, who had done Live Your Life with me,
(21:46):
and they loved it and they were like absolutely, and
so I got I got to write my first children's book,
and it'll be out this year and I and I
are this next year, and um I I love it
because it's it's, you know, something that just happened out
of our our natural rhythm of life. Um and also
(22:08):
just trying to incorporate those we've lost. And I think
that you know, anyone can relate, you know, any parents
reading their child of book. You know, it could be
a grandparent, it could be a parent, it could be
a brother or a sister. But you can encourage your
children that you know, anyone can come visit them and
their dreams, and in their dreams, anything can happen. And
(22:28):
I'm a huge dreamer and believing in dreams and going
for your dreams. So I really love this. I love
this book and story. Well, well this is clearly one
of the reasons why Elvis thinks he remembers his dad. So,
you know, it's kind of gave me the chills thinking
about it. I don't know how you find time and
(22:56):
energy to do everything. You also have a makeup company,
so tell me about your beauty brand? Oh I did, wait,
what which one? Which do you in? Sand I even
I have a T shirt company with my sister. You
have a T shirt company? Tell me about because I
was like, well maybe wait, maybe you do have a
(23:16):
makeup brand you don't know about. Sometimes I'm like, wait,
do I do I ask something going on UM. I
have a T shirt company with my little sister Anna,
who also helped Live Your Life with me. Uh. We
love collaborating on things. We are very creatively intertwined. And
(23:36):
we started this during the pandemic and it's called her
Rate four and it celebrates all the things that we
love about life and um. Each month we debut a
different design, so UM it started with Hooray for life
and Hooray for health heroes. And we donate proceeds of
the T shirts to charities each month so that um,
(23:56):
we're giving back but also spreading positivity. I you know,
it's just a simple T shirt with a simple message.
But I love wearing my Hooray for t shirts because
you know, inevitably people stop you on the street. You know,
one of my favorites is Hooray for Coffee and people
are like, oh man, it's such a great shirt. You're like, yeah,
because you know what coffee is something that needs to
be celebrated and how do you take your coffee? Because
(24:20):
I want to get into like some of your health
and well, oh no, this is the least healthy thing
about me. Um And I'm ashamed to say it, but
we all have our vices. I love coffee, mate, hazelnut creamer,
and it is terrible for you, I know it is.
But I have two cups of coffee in the morning
(24:41):
and I I love, I love a couple of squirts
of coffee made hazel night creamer in there. Oh my god,
So are you from the South? No, I from Ohio
and I'm good West girl. I guess that's upliving on that.
I don't know. It's terrible. Oh my god. Have you
ever ride like like like rich regular cream and a
(25:03):
little bit of hazelnut flavoring? Yes, I have. I'll do
I'll do a happen half at a restaurant. I'll do
even you know, tried the oak milk creamers, the almond
milk creamers, the healthy versions of creamers. And the thing is,
it's literally like I don't smoke, I don't drink a lot,
(25:23):
I don't do drugs. It literally is my one vice.
It's fine. And what about your diet? Are you someone
that follows a certain plan or are you? Could you
eat whatever you want? You know? I I am a
person and you know, pregnancy did this to me. I
I used to be very um, you know, super conscious
(25:46):
of everything. That I was putting into my body. Um.
And then you know, you get pregnant and you have
this like kind of freedom where you feel like, you
know what, I'm gonna eat pizza anytime I want because
my baby's craving it. You know, I don't know. And
then after you have your baby, you you you really are.
So I was at least so in awe of what
(26:07):
a female body can do, that we can grow another
human inside of us and then take care of that
human afterwards, that I think it allows so much grace
and you start at least I started to be like, wow,
you know, I appreciate my body in such a different way. Um,
(26:28):
I I love what it can do instead of trying
to think of, you know, how I can restrict it,
you know. So um, it really taught me to eat
in moderation. Uh. You know, if I want the spaghetti,
you know, in the middle of the afternoon, eat the spaghetti.
But I also love eating healthy. I am a person
(26:50):
that will choose innately. I will choose a really good
healthy salad over you know, something like an in and
out burger. Like that's just me, not to say I
won't have the in and out burger. On a random occasion,
if I'm craving it, I will, But I tend to
crave healthy food, um, more than junk food. I'm not
(27:11):
a snacker. Um. I I love eating healthy. I love
what how it makes me feel. UM. So I'll treat
myself if I want it. But I think innately, I
just want I and I want and I create healthy things. Okay.
And what about your your your clothes side when you're
not working, you're not on TV, are you you know?
(27:33):
Do you wear sweats? Do you wear jeans? Do you
wear what do you wear? I would say I'm definitely
your blue jean, white T shirt kind of girl with converse.
That's like my go to look. I have way too
many pairs of jeans and way too many white T
shirts and tanks to them to the fact where if
I'm not dressed for the talk and if I'm not
(27:55):
in a workout outfit or sweatpants and I have to
like go meet friends for dinner, I'm always like, wow,
I really only have white T shirts and jeans, So
I guess that's what I'm wearing it again, But like,
I don't know, I love it. I'm comfortable in it.
I feel good in it, So that's kind of like
my would say my go to outfit. But you know,
(28:16):
I love I love. I live in Laurel Canyon, so
I love a very Laurel Canyon sixties hippie vibe. But
you know, right now I'm in leather hide knee boots
and a leather skirt, so I mix it up. I
love playing with fashion and playing with how it can
change your personality. I think that's fun. And who's your
favorite T shirt designer and your favorite jeans? Oh, that's
(28:37):
a good question. Um. I would say a great go
to T shirt right now is a brand called Wesley.
It's available at Ban Deer. I also like dragon Bone,
and my new favorite pair of jeans is a pair
from Our thirteen. They're very like low slung boyfriend d
(28:59):
uh laxed kind of gene, which I have. I have
a couple of those, which my guy friends tell me
never to wear on dates. But I'm like, hey, listen,
they are a little more especially at my age with
you know, after you're having three kids. But I wear
them with a nice sweater. They're they're really good legs.
(29:20):
I know they're cute, right, I like, I think it's
all about what makes you feel good and comfortable. You
know what I mean, Well, your your positivity is infectious.
And I asked the same question of everyone. If people
listening could listen to one piece of advice that you
have for them that could change the course of their life,
(29:41):
what would it be, Gosh, you know, Um, I think
that it would be to start your day with a
positive message. I started doing this about seven years ago,
and I really do think that it starts It kicks
off your day in a great way. I start my
day off with a positive message and I play music.
(30:04):
I don't turn on the television. I don't put on
the news, not right away. I started with music and
a positive quote, and I find myself smiling and dancing
around my kitchen while drinking coffee instead of anxious and
uh stressed about what I'm seeing on the television. So um,
I think that the more that we can control our
(30:27):
minds first thing in the morning, first thing that we
have when we wake up before everything else starts infiltrating it,
I think that it really does help to uh change
your mood and your day every day. I love that
advice I start with. I start with the news so
I might have to start with some music. So you
know what, start with music. I'm telling you. This morning
I put on uh uh James Brown and I was dancing. Yeah,
(30:56):
I was dancing around the tuity fruity and I'm like,
you know what, like this is great, like and my
coffee and Elvis was dancing. I was like, what a
great way to start the day, you know what I mean? Like,
even if it's just for one song, just start started
with music, then turned on the news and see how
it changes your day. I love that. I'll let you
(31:16):
know how it goes. Okay. Yeah, so nice to talk
to you, so nice to me. Thanks for having me,
Yeah you too. All right, good luck with all your projects.
Thank you, Thank you, bye, Bobby. Thanks for listening. Follow
us on social apt the Important Things podcast on Instagram,
(31:36):
and just Bobby Brown on TikTok. See you guys next time.
I first heard about a Man Decludes during the pandemic
because she was always in the news and on social
about this awful thing that was happening with her husband
and how she sat by his side and ultimately unfortunately
lost him. But she has such a positive force and attitude.
(00:22):
I so admire her how she has been in the
public eye and really helped people who are going through
things in their lives that I'm really excited to talk
to her. And here just how she does it, and
here about her little son and all her cool projects.
So here is my conversation with the man Decludes. Hello, Hi,
(00:43):
how are you. Hi? I'm glad are you I'm good?
Nice to me too, Yes, it's nice to meet you too.
Thanks for having me. Where where am I catching you?
I'm in l A. We just finished filming the talk today,
so I'm just wrapping it up starting the second half
of my day. I always think of like the talk
(01:04):
is the first part of my day, and then and
then everything else after that. What time What time do
you start your day? You know, we we start work
at eight thirty, that's like when our first zoom is
and then usually done by you know noon, unless we
have things that we're doing afterwards. But you know, my
little boy gets me up around six thirty seven, so
(01:24):
so no, that's why I was asking because I've always
been a working mom. So you know, what time do
you start your day? Do you get up before your
son gets up? Do you get up with him? No, Bobby,
what's happening these days is he sleeps with me at
the moment, And because I love the kids so much
and I love cuddling with him so much, I don't
(01:45):
even care, so I'm like, sure, it comes sleep with me.
And the second I even try to like wiggle myself
out of bed, even just to use the bathroom, it's
like his seventh cents kicks in and he's like he
wakes up immediately Mom is gone and there's a freak out.
So I really have to like gently wake him up
(02:08):
and give him kisses and be like I'm gonna go
to the bathroom, and then he usually says I come
to Well. I am totally totally smiling because I raised
three sons. Oh I remember, I do, and I was.
I never listened to anyone and I don't know how
I got pregnant the second or the third time, because
they always slept with us, you know, but yeah, it
(02:31):
goes Honestly, it goes fast. And I just had my
first grandkids, so it's like it's just crazy. And so
I get it and and take every minute of what
you got of him. So of all the cuddles, right,
I know, like we've and we've gone through stages of
him sleeping in his crib and and and not, and
this is sort of again a new stage of him
(02:52):
being back in bed with me. And I'm like, I
don't have anyone else in my bed, So come on,
how are you doing in general? All? You know, I mean,
since it's been two years since Nick passed. Yeah, two years. Um,
you know, I'm not gonna lie. I had a really
hard September for some reason, I mean not for some reason.
(03:12):
It was our anniversary, it's his birthday. September always feels
like a new start to me, Like you know this,
it feels more to me like a new year than January. Um,
and I think like with all those events that are important,
you know, and Elvis going to school and and uh,
it was a hard It was a hard month. I've
I've felt off recently. Um. And Elvis is starting to
(03:36):
ask me questions about Nick and where he is, and
so I feel like that part of brief is going
to start happening. Um, where I have to now face
his grief after you know, dealing with mine for the
last two years and under you know, helping Elvis understand
in at this young age, you know where Dad is,
(03:57):
why Dad doesn't live with us, you know what happened
to Dad. And it's been really really, really hard, and
even just at this year, like his age, and he
doesn't want me to leave the house, he doesn't want
babysitters to come over. So find a balance of a
working mom and trying to also maybe go on a
date here there isn't is really hard and you feel
(04:18):
guilty every time you leave the house and he's crying. Um,
so yeah, it's it's actually been really hard lately. I've
had a lot of nights where I've cried and this
isn't fair and life isn't fair and I shouldn't be
in this position. I've had a lot of like, yeah,
and it's normal. I know it's normal and I have
(04:38):
no reason to be woe is me, But I've I've
been a little boe is me lately and it's I
hate it. I actually don't like how it feels. But
I'm just being honest. But you're You're allowed to feel
what you feel, and you know it's important. And you know,
I'm not a shrink. I'm a makeup artist, which is
something like a shrink. But you know, you've you've got
to go through what you have to go through, and
(05:00):
you know, how lucky and yeah, everything does suck, but
how lucky you have this little boy who was able to, like,
you know, fill you fill you up? Does he remember
his dad? You know? He says that he does, which
is crazy because I don't know if that's because I
we watched so many videos together of Nick um or
(05:20):
if I talk because I talk about Nick so much,
but he does. He does say that, and I love it,
but it makes me wonder because I have no memories
from two or three years old or actually I'm sorry,
the only memories he would have with Nick are for
zero to ten months. I don't remember anything from those times,
so I don't I don't know, but you know, he'll
(05:42):
say things that he does, so I'm just I'm going
with it, you know, And how are you like? What
do you tell him where dad is? Oh, we just
had to start this conversation. So I have said that
Dada lives in heaven with Jesus and UM, but he's
all around us all the time, and we can always
(06:02):
talk to him, and we can listen to him saying
and UM, and he's watching over us all the time.
That's what I That's what I've said so far. Okay,
Well it's yeah, it's it's a it's a journey. But
you seem I don't know you, but what I've read
and when I seem you seem like a very positive,
upbeat person by nature, and and that you know that
(06:25):
could only help in the long term. Well, first of all,
you're so freaking pretty. I just have to tell you
that's very kind of you. Thank you. The least important
thing out there. But I just had to get it
out of the way. Did you model? Oh? I mean
I did some commercial modeling when I first moved to
New York when I was going to school at eighteen.
But um, but that was it because I do remember
(06:47):
uh going to I think it was Spared and they
a modeling meeting and they said you could do it
a turtle, but you'd have to lose forty pounds and
uh yeah, and I was like, well what Tommy, more
about commercial print but forty pounds but you've never But
that wasn't you being overweight. That was you just being normal.
(07:08):
That was me being normal. Yes, yeah, oh my gosh, okay,
well it's a good thing you didn't do that. And
what did you study in college? Musical theater. I went
to a musical theater conservatory in New York City. And
so you started your career as a dancer, dancer, actor, singer. Yes, yeah,
I I went to school for all three of those things,
(07:29):
a musical theater conservatory. I was mostly a dancer. Um,
but you know, to be on Broadway you have to
act and sing. So I rounded myself out at school
and then um started performing in musicals. Uh and and
how does that? And then what about being on the talk?
How does how did those skills serve you? And what
did you have to do differently? Oh my, well the
(07:52):
talk came out of nowhere? I mean that was when
you know, I moved to l A. I just so
I did Broadway for sixteen years and then and started
my own fitness business. So left Broadway, started my own business,
became a female entrepreneur, loved it, moved to Los Angeles
with Nick Uh. He was doing a show here in
Want to Pursue Music here, and I was only running
(08:13):
my fitness company. And then everything happened with the pandemic
and the casting. UH woman here at the talk was
following the story, and UM. Once Nick passed and they
were back up and running, they asked me to come
on and guest co host. And I think, you know,
Broadway teaches you everything, every skill possible in life, UM
(08:38):
and so, and then you know, in doing my own
fitness business, I had done so many morning television shows
and and interviews, etcetera, etcetera. So this kind of you know,
platform wasn't unfamiliar to me, but it was definitely was like, okay,
let's go on, Let's go on the talk and see
how I like co hosting. And I loved it. I
(08:59):
loved it so U. It felt very much like right
at home. And luckily they thought so too, and then
they hired Ah that's so cool. So tell me about
the fitness business. The fitness business, UM, I started when
I was thirty two. I had been performing on Broadway
and television and movies for sixteen years and I kind
(09:20):
of at the point where I just was done because
it's a very hard life. I mean, you're constantly in
and out of work. You're constantly being told when and
how long and what you can do. Um. And I
was thirty two years old and I was in a
Broadway show, and I thought it was just going to
be a show that would run for years and I
would be able to have babies and buy a house
(09:42):
one day. And then everything sort of erupted. I was
going I went through a divorce with my first husband
after seven years of marriage. He was in a show
that was touring at the time, so we were never
seeing each other. And then this Broadway show that I
thought would be kind of like my saving grace for
a while, this unexpectedly closed after a couple of months.
(10:03):
So I was it was bullets over bullets over Broadway,
and it was what happened, you know, it was it
was a beautiful show, but it was in the midst
and the height of the Woody Allen, you know, scandal
and uh and in the show got bad reviews and
we ended up closing and it was devastating, and so
(10:24):
I found myself unemployed thirty two, going through divorce and
I just looked at my life and I was like,
I need to take control of my life. I can't
be living this in and out of show life if
I want a family and if I want a home
one day, and I need to be able to support
myself now that I don't have a husband that supported
helping to support me. And so I was like, you
(10:45):
know what, I'm just going to take a chance and
start a business. I had an idea for a jumper
of class, and um, I was like, you know what
I'm gonna I'm a trained clients privately and start making
money that way, and then hopefully launched this jumper class
and that's what I did. Cool and and it still exists, right,
(11:05):
It still exists and now is basically all um digital.
I have an app that I run and everything through
the app. I still teach over zoom once a week, um,
just to keep up with live teaching because I love that.
And I get hired to teach fitness events here and there,
but it's mostly online now through my app, and uh yeah,
(11:27):
it's my baby. It's the it's I love that business
so much. It means the world to me. It it
helped me find myself again, and um, I'm so I'm
just so proud of it. And I'm I'm so proud
of the underlying message of my fitness business and and
what that means and just how important moving your body
(11:47):
is every day. It's you know, it's it's so important
to me that message. So I I yeah, I love
my fitness business. And how what motivation do you have
for people listening saying oh, I really want to try,
but I don't know where to start. I mean, I
work out all the time, so I know how important
it is. But what about the people that are kind
of sitting on their couch saying, oh, you know, I'd say,
(12:08):
first of all, get up and walk while you're listening
to the podcast. What's your what's your motivation? Yeah, my motivation, Um,
it was always this, but then the pandemic amplified it. Um.
My motivation is that we are so lucky to be
able to move our bodies, Like I think we take
it for granted on a daily basis because we're tired
(12:30):
or cold outside, or I don't have a membership to
a gym, I don't have a trainer, and just not
in the mood, and I feel like We are so
lucky to be able to wake up and to stand
on two feet, and to be able to walk, and
to be able to jump, to be able to smile
while doing it and enjoy it, and be able to
(12:52):
treat our bodies in a way that only strengthens our
mind and our soul and our our purpose and life.
And I don't think it should ever be taken for granted.
Working out isn't a chore, it is a privilege. And
you know, for nine days I sat beside my husband
and he could not move, He could not move his body,
(13:13):
he could not stand up. And I know from knowing
him that all he I mean, if if if he
could have even just sat up, Bobby, he couldn't even
he didn't have the strength to sit up, let alone
open his eyes. And we are are so lucky to
be able to do it every day, and yet we'll
(13:33):
complain about it and we take it for granted. And
it's just fitness, to me, is not about a gene size.
It's about that, it's about strengthening your body, your mind.
It is about relieving stress and anxiety, and it's about
not taking it for granted the fact that we're able
to move and if you have five minutes or fifty
(13:54):
five minutes, you do it every single day. Because it's
so you're you're you you can't because you can't, well
you're you're saying it's jump rope based. My That's how
I started my company with a jump rope, and then
I ended up creating a jump rope, and now I
sal a jump rope, but I have workouts on my
app from dance fitness then to full body training, little
(14:16):
to know um equipment so that you can really do
it anywhere at any time. You know, so much of
your story is so shared with the public. I mean,
you know, I I followed along or you know, during
(14:37):
the pandemic. I I didn't know you, but I was hooked.
I mean I couldn't imagine what you were going through
and how you were you know, sharing this with people.
Do you think this has like helped you personally? I
know it's helped a lot of people to be part
of the journey. Yes, you know, absolutely, I think. Um.
(14:59):
You know, I was in therapy after everything that happened,
and I asked my therapist that question. I said, you
know why, I said, you know, people would ask me
all the time you know, you don't have to keep
updating everybody on Instagram, Like, isn't this just like exhausting?
Like how are you doing this day in and day out?
And I said to him, I said, why I'm asking
(15:19):
you as a therapist. Why did that make me feel better?
Because all I can tell you is I would be
having a horrible day and then I would get on
Instagram and I would do a live or I would
sing nick song and I was joined by a lot
of people, and I would talk to you know, this
audience that was not talking back to me. It was
just me talking to somebody. And I said it would
(15:40):
make me feel better. And he goes, you really don't
know why? And I said no, and he goes, Amanda,
because you weren't doing it alone. You're a community, he said.
Any time we try to do something ourselves, it's so
much harder. He was, like, you were already living basically alone,
going through something almost basically alone your day in and
day out. You're you know, we're all trapped in our houses,
(16:02):
he said, But you weren't. You had you built this
community around you to support you and to love you
and to give you advice and to share things with is,
and of course it made you feel better. You had
a community. So it was that for me and I've
learned so much from that that the more we share
our stories, however hard it is to do so, you
(16:23):
end up feeling better because you've gotten it out of
your body and you've shared it with somebody. And when
I hear people's stories now, it helps me. Like whenever
I hear somebody you know, a lot of people now
come to me with their stories about you know, losing
somebody to you know, COVID related things, or just any anything.
And whenever I hear somebody else's story, it helps me too.
(16:45):
It helps me feel us alone. So I just I
really feel like the more we share, the more we learn,
and the more it helps us to grow and and
and change, you know, and heal. I could imagine, like
your choice would be to not get off the couch
or the bed or to get up and do this.
You you you know, you're very very brave and you know,
(17:08):
and you you seem like you're doing as well as
you know could be expected. Are you dating? Is that
even something that's you know, entering your mind. Yeah, No,
I have been dating. Um, I've I've been dating for
a little while now. Um. I it's funny though that
you asked, because I think I'm going to go on
(17:30):
a little dating hiatus at the moment. It's been, it's been.
It's been very hard, um. And I not only finding
the time being a single mom with a lot of jobs, um,
but also it's just um for me right now, I'm
(17:50):
just I'm not finding anybody that I really connect with.
And so I'll go on a date and and I'll
have had a wonderful time and the person across to
me is wonder full and we have a great conversation,
but for but for me, that connection isn't there. And
so then I end up leaving the date and I
end up feeling a little bit um like sad, you know,
(18:12):
like sad that like I wonder if I'm gonna find
somebody again. I wonder if I'm gonna find that connection
that I, you know, have had in my life before.
And so I end up feeling like a little like
I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna stay depressed a
little bit about it. And so I've just noticed in
these last couple of weeks of of really dating and
like I'm I'm really trying. I'm like going to meet
(18:34):
a coffee here, have a tea here, a glass of
wine here, a dinner there, and and like I said,
everybody has been really great, but it's just it's left
me sort of in in um feeling a little bit depressed.
And so I kind of stepped back recently the last
couple of days, and I've just been like, you know what,
maybe I need to take a pause, um and and
(18:56):
and not do this right now because I don't think
it's serving um, it's not serving me well. So UM,
so I'm gonna I'm gonna take a little dating break
at the moment, focus on my son. But have these
been fixed ups or a little bit of both. I'm
on an app, so a lot of a lot of
meeting people through an app and then also um, also
(19:18):
fixing up through friends. I have no doubt you will
find who you're supposed to be with. But you've you've
been so incredible sharing your story. I know you wrote
a book during um, you know, after after your experiences.
What was the name of your book, again, Live your Life?
And yeah, it was a memoir about you know, everything
(19:40):
that happened, but also the love story between Nick and
I and and how that happened and everything that happened
with yes, with COVID and also you're an author. Now
you have a children's book. Yeah, the children's book, um
will come out next year. And UM, so crazy it was.
(20:00):
It was honestly a dream of mine. UM back when
when I when Elvis first was born. UM, I don't
know if you found this, but I found that I
was like so inspired by Elvis in so many different ways,
especially being a new mom. Um. And one of the
things that really happened, you know, right away, was I
had all these ideas for children's books, and so I
(20:23):
wrote it on my vision board back in twenty nineteen
that I, you know, wanted to do children's books. So
to actually haven't materialized now is sort of crazy. Um
and it and it's very sweet. It came out of
UM just our Elvis and I. We have a nightly
routine when I put him to bed. This is when
he was sleeping in his career. Because I told you
(20:43):
before he's not anymore. He's now sleeping with Mama, but
but we still do the tradition. But I rocked him
and I started asking him, do you want me to
tell you your dreams, and he started interacting him by
and saying yes. And so then I just each night
would make up this fantastical dream about what he was
(21:05):
gonna do and where he was going to go. And
because I really tried to incorporate Nick and a lot
of things that we do, I would always incorporate Nick
in the dream that you know, he would meet meet
up with Dada and they'd go on and adventure together,
and then Dada would bring him back home and put
him back in his crib and kiss him good night.
(21:26):
And then in the morning, Mama would come into your
room and wake you up and ask you all about
what happened with your dream. And so I started doing
this every night. It was just like our routine. And
after a while I I thought, you know, gosh, maybe
this is a children's book. And so I pitched it
to HarperCollins, who had done Live Your Life with me,
(21:46):
and they loved it and they were like absolutely, and
so I got I got to write my first children's book,
and it'll be out this year and I and I
are this next year, and um I I love it
because it's it's, you know, something that just happened out
of our our natural rhythm of life. Um and also
(22:08):
just trying to incorporate those we've lost. And I think
that you know, anyone can relate, you know, any parents
reading their child of book. You know, it could be
a grandparent, it could be a parent, it could be
a brother or a sister. But you can encourage your
children that you know, anyone can come visit them and
their dreams, and in their dreams, anything can happen. And
(22:28):
I'm a huge dreamer and believing in dreams and going
for your dreams. So I really love this. I love
this book and story. Well, well this is clearly one
of the reasons why Elvis thinks he remembers his dad. So,
you know, it's kind of gave me the chills thinking
about it. I don't know how you find time and
(22:56):
energy to do everything. You also have a makeup company,
so tell me about your beauty brand? Oh I did, wait,
what which one? Which do you in? Sand I even
I have a T shirt company with my sister. You
have a T shirt company? Tell me about because I
was like, well maybe wait, maybe you do have a
(23:16):
makeup brand you don't know about. Sometimes I'm like, wait,
do I do I ask something going on UM. I
have a T shirt company with my little sister Anna,
who also helped Live Your Life with me. Uh. We
love collaborating on things. We are very creatively intertwined. And
(23:36):
we started this during the pandemic and it's called her
Rate four and it celebrates all the things that we
love about life and um. Each month we debut a
different design, so UM it started with Hooray for life
and Hooray for health heroes. And we donate proceeds of
the T shirts to charities each month so that um,
(23:56):
we're giving back but also spreading positivity. I you know,
it's just a simple T shirt with a simple message.
But I love wearing my Hooray for t shirts because
you know, inevitably people stop you on the street. You know,
one of my favorites is Hooray for Coffee and people
are like, oh man, it's such a great shirt. You're like, yeah,
because you know what coffee is something that needs to
be celebrated and how do you take your coffee? Because
(24:20):
I want to get into like some of your health
and well, oh no, this is the least healthy thing
about me. Um And I'm ashamed to say it, but
we all have our vices. I love coffee, mate, hazelnut creamer,
and it is terrible for you, I know it is.
But I have two cups of coffee in the morning
(24:41):
and I I love, I love a couple of squirts
of coffee made hazel night creamer in there. Oh my god,
So are you from the South? No, I from Ohio
and I'm good West girl. I guess that's upliving on that.
I don't know. It's terrible. Oh my god. Have you
ever ride like like like rich regular cream and a
(25:03):
little bit of hazelnut flavoring? Yes, I have. I'll do
I'll do a happen half at a restaurant. I'll do
even you know, tried the oak milk creamers, the almond
milk creamers, the healthy versions of creamers. And the thing is,
it's literally like I don't smoke, I don't drink a lot,
(25:23):
I don't do drugs. It literally is my one vice.
It's fine. And what about your diet? Are you someone
that follows a certain plan or are you? Could you
eat whatever you want? You know? I I am a
person and you know, pregnancy did this to me. I
I used to be very um, you know, super conscious
(25:46):
of everything. That I was putting into my body. Um.
And then you know, you get pregnant and you have
this like kind of freedom where you feel like, you
know what, I'm gonna eat pizza anytime I want because
my baby's craving it. You know, I don't know. And
then after you have your baby, you you you really are.
So I was at least so in awe of what
(26:07):
a female body can do, that we can grow another
human inside of us and then take care of that
human afterwards, that I think it allows so much grace
and you start at least I started to be like, wow,
you know, I appreciate my body in such a different way. Um,
(26:28):
I I love what it can do instead of trying
to think of, you know, how I can restrict it,
you know. So um, it really taught me to eat
in moderation. Uh. You know, if I want the spaghetti,
you know, in the middle of the afternoon, eat the spaghetti.
But I also love eating healthy. I am a person
(26:50):
that will choose innately. I will choose a really good
healthy salad over you know, something like an in and
out burger. Like that's just me, not to say I
won't have the in and out burger. On a random occasion,
if I'm craving it, I will, But I tend to
crave healthy food, um, more than junk food. I'm not
(27:11):
a snacker. Um. I I love eating healthy. I love
what how it makes me feel. UM. So I'll treat
myself if I want it. But I think innately, I
just want I and I want and I create healthy things. Okay.
And what about your your your clothes side when you're
not working, you're not on TV, are you you know?
(27:33):
Do you wear sweats? Do you wear jeans? Do you
wear what do you wear? I would say I'm definitely
your blue jean, white T shirt kind of girl with converse.
That's like my go to look. I have way too
many pairs of jeans and way too many white T
shirts and tanks to them to the fact where if
I'm not dressed for the talk and if I'm not
(27:55):
in a workout outfit or sweatpants and I have to
like go meet friends for dinner, I'm always like, wow,
I really only have white T shirts and jeans, So
I guess that's what I'm wearing it again, But like,
I don't know, I love it. I'm comfortable in it.
I feel good in it, So that's kind of like
my would say my go to outfit. But you know,
(28:16):
I love I love. I live in Laurel Canyon, so
I love a very Laurel Canyon sixties hippie vibe. But
you know, right now I'm in leather hide knee boots
and a leather skirt, so I mix it up. I
love playing with fashion and playing with how it can
change your personality. I think that's fun. And who's your
favorite T shirt designer and your favorite jeans? Oh, that's
(28:37):
a good question. Um. I would say a great go
to T shirt right now is a brand called Wesley.
It's available at Ban Deer. I also like dragon Bone,
and my new favorite pair of jeans is a pair
from Our thirteen. They're very like low slung boyfriend d
(28:59):
uh laxed kind of gene, which I have. I have
a couple of those, which my guy friends tell me
never to wear on dates. But I'm like, hey, listen,
they are a little more especially at my age with
you know, after you're having three kids. But I wear
them with a nice sweater. They're they're really good legs.
(29:20):
I know they're cute, right, I like, I think it's
all about what makes you feel good and comfortable. You
know what I mean, Well, your your positivity is infectious.
And I asked the same question of everyone. If people
listening could listen to one piece of advice that you
have for them that could change the course of their life,
(29:41):
what would it be, Gosh, you know, Um, I think
that it would be to start your day with a
positive message. I started doing this about seven years ago,
and I really do think that it starts It kicks
off your day in a great way. I start my
day off with a positive message and I play music.
(30:04):
I don't turn on the television. I don't put on
the news, not right away. I started with music and
a positive quote, and I find myself smiling and dancing
around my kitchen while drinking coffee instead of anxious and
uh stressed about what I'm seeing on the television. So um,
I think that the more that we can control our
(30:27):
minds first thing in the morning, first thing that we
have when we wake up before everything else starts infiltrating it,
I think that it really does help to uh change
your mood and your day every day. I love that
advice I start with. I start with the news so
I might have to start with some music. So you
know what, start with music. I'm telling you. This morning
I put on uh uh James Brown and I was dancing. Yeah,
(30:56):
I was dancing around the tuity fruity and I'm like,
you know what, like this is great, like and my
coffee and Elvis was dancing. I was like, what a
great way to start the day, you know what I mean? Like,
even if it's just for one song, just start started
with music, then turned on the news and see how
it changes your day. I love that. I'll let you
(31:16):
know how it goes. Okay. Yeah, so nice to talk
to you, so nice to me. Thanks for having me,
Yeah you too. All right, good luck with all your projects.
Thank you, Thank you, bye, Bobby. Thanks for listening. Follow
us on social apt the Important Things podcast on Instagram,
(31:36):
and just Bobby Brown on TikTok. See you guys next time.
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