August 24, 2022 • 38 mins
Professional volleyball player, sports announcer, fashion model, actress, entrepreneur and mom Gabrielle Reece joins Bobbi as they discuss the process of being a better self. Bobbi and Gabby both have built companies that focus on self-esteem and they open up about their discovery of core values, finding the things that keep you grounded and the ability to impact your beauty from the inside out.
Gabby talks about her time as a model and professional athlete and shares her thoughts on mental health, keeping anxiety at bay and the power of “checking in with yourself.”
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I am really excited to talk to my next guest,
Gabrielle Reeves, who I haven't seen for a while since
she was modeling and I was a makeup artist, and
I've been in awe of how she has led her life.
I have so many questions for her, and I can't
wait to see her. So stay tuned for my conversation
(00:23):
with the one and only Gabrielle Reefs. Hey, how are you? Oh? Yeah,
I'm good. I mean, how many years has it been
since we have seen each other? I don't know how
long it's been since we've seen each other. I actually
remember the first time we worked together, which was either
(00:44):
eight or eighty nine, and it was a studio down
in the village off you know that studio that was like, um,
you'd take an elevator up to like the second or
third floor, and I almost want to I feel like,
was it Jill or somebody? But I remember it so clearly,
(01:04):
just the whole experience. Well, it's so funny. I remember
working with you, and honestly, I just remember how much
we connected, like compared to other models I worked with.
And you know, I don't know why there's not a
whole lot of similarities, but there was just something real
about both of us stuck in the middle of this
(01:25):
fashion industry, and we talked a lot about fitness. We
talked a lot about stupid things like weight. You know,
I'm five foot tall, your six three. Great. Okay, So
we were quite a you know, quite a pair. But
you know, there was a lot of like girl girl talking,
(01:45):
a lot of self esteem stuff. And you know, You've
built your platform on it and I've built mine on it,
so it's pretty cool. Well, and I remember you talking
about that you had started to make up business and
I was like, oh, that is amazing. And uh, it's
funny because because that era produced you know, yourself and
Francois Nors and a few other people. But I remember thinking, wow,
(02:07):
she she really did it, like because you were sort of,
I don't want to say not nonchalant, but it was like,
you know, you didn't make a big thing of it.
And I'd say from that time to really not so
many years after that, I was like, oh, no, Bobby
Brown is kicking some real ass right now. Yeah. So no,
(02:28):
it was quite a journey my first company, you know,
I stayed for twenty two years after I sold it.
So that was a big thing, and I walked away
and I started another makeup company, which I think I
sent you Jones Road. Yeah, I actually bought some of
the products. I saw it, and I was like, because
I do also appreciate UM. I was working with somebody
(02:50):
I'm gonna I don't want to botch Terry's last name
yesterday randomly and you came up. Your name came up.
We were talking about the makeup movement that's so intense
right now and has been intense for a really long time,
and we were I was like, yeah, I was watching
this video and Bobby Brown's like, okay, so now I'm
(03:10):
gonna show you how to contour and then You're like, no,
not you know, and we're talking about UM. And so
for me, your new your new company, UM, your your
Jones company. I just uh, I was like, oh, she's staying.
You know, there's a line that I feel like you're
holding to support people who, um, I don't want to say,
(03:31):
are confused, but maybe just doesn't feel like that comfortable
to get up every day and try to, you know,
put on that quite of an intense makeup protocol right well,
you know, for me, it's makeup and beauty are kind
of intertwined. And really I wear makeup because I want
to look better, I want to feel better, and I
get the most women do that to Most women don't
(03:53):
want to be, you know, out there doing the contour
and all this stuff. So yeah, that's the Jones Road thing.
But it's problems similar for you in the fitness world,
Like you just do this without thinking you're working out,
Like do you do you like? Is it an effort
for you or is it just such part of your life.
(04:15):
I think it's both. I think I think we could
say that about anything that's you know, think about marriage
or parenting or what have you. I think it's the
things that you've come to a piece and a non
emotional reaction to that. There's a level of difficulty to
it UM work, but that there's also sort of an
(04:38):
acceptance to UM two too, that it's important and so
you you can sort of take the emotions out of it.
So no, I mean, yes, it is work. It's not
just like, oh it's fluid and and you're trying to
change it. You know, you're trying to learn UM without
hopping all over the place, right, Like I think growing
(04:58):
in a way that there's still like your consistent thread throughout. Uh.
That always is the balance, especially with something like fitness
where there's trends all the time and such. Well, we
both have pretty long term marriages. I've been married thirty
three years. And how many years you've been married to laird.
I've been married to laird for almost twenty five years together,
(05:19):
thirty three though, that's that's yeah, it is you know,
And yes it is work. I mean, I you know,
it's totally work and it's worth it. And you've got
three girls, yeah, three daughters. Yeah, I got three sons,
so yeah, so you know, and that's joyful and hard
and work and all of those things. So any did
(05:42):
any of your I mean, it's kind of funny because
you have I thought I would only have sons, and
you think a woman who was into makeup would have daughters. No,
but I have daughter in laws, which is a whole Yeah.
I have two out of the three are married to
daughter in laws, and one of them is having a baby. So,
believe it or not, I'm going to be a grandma
in September, which is crazy. Like I just had my
(06:06):
third baby who's now going to be twenty four next week.
But you know, crazy, Thank you. So what advice do
you have for people to have a long term happy marriage?
Oh jeez, well, I think you know, the ways that
it works for everybody is so unique and different. I
do know that it's sort of the individual's responsibility, for
(06:27):
the most part, to make yourself happy. I you know,
I sort of don't think it really is realistic to
look to our partners, or even our children for that matter,
to kind of make us happy or fulfill something that
maybe we need separately from them. I think that there's
a lot of um, deep meaning and connection when you're
(06:48):
when you're in a relationship and when you have children.
But I don't. But there's also a part of us,
all of us that we it's a it's a something
we've got to satisfy ourselves. Um. And I think the
idea of growing each person wanting to do that. I
I think it would be really hard if Laird was like,
you know, Gabby, you should read more and open up
(07:09):
your mind. I think that would be hard. But if
it if it's sort of like your values are similar enough,
even though you can be incredibly different. UM. I have
that in my relationship my husband and I are. From
the outside, everyone thinks, oh, there's probably they're so similar.
We're very, very different. But I think our core values
are are similar, and and you know, maybe giving it
(07:29):
one real bumpy road to go through and seeing if
you don't just bail like I had, you know, we
had I'd say two kind of moments in our marriage
where could have easily been like all right, that was cool, thanks,
and just sometimes good going through one and seeing that, oh,
not only is it possible, because that's that's the other
(07:51):
thing you've experienced, this where I think maybe couples look
at each other and they think, today, wow, the love
is you know, different, but that you can just get
through it and then the love can return back in
all the ways, romantically, sexually, in all these ways that
you thought maybe you couldn't. So I think it's it's
(08:12):
also kind of weathering that what is lad like? I've
only seen him, you know, on on interviews, like what
like how would you describe him? Besides like, I don't
even know if I'd be able to breathe if I
saw him in person. He's so gorgeous, So like, what
is he like? He's like a caged animal? Bobby. He's
like the most loving and attentive partner. Um, but he is.
(08:34):
He's never really mellow. He's so intense, like you could
be talking about how something is built, like a desk,
like everything. He is so engaged, which at times can
be Um. You know. It's like as his partner, I'm like,
we choose, do you want somebody who's apathetic about everything
or would you rather have someone who's like really curious
(08:55):
and serious and like you know in there. Um and
he is has a relationship with nature that makes it
really hard for him at times, and I feel for him,
but it's also again connected to all the things, all
the things I really love about him. Um and he's
you know, he had a really good mom that he
admired a lot, and so it's interesting, you know, being
(09:17):
surrounded by women, he's you know, has this sort of
one level of I call it true masculinity. I think
masculinity has gotten a bad rap because I feel like
true masculinity is so beautiful. It's it's helpful, it's protective,
it's honorable, it's all these things. It's strong. It's like,
so Laird has that um and uh yeah, but you
(09:40):
you know, you can't you have to you you have
to be a little ninja to be with Laird, Like
you have to not take anything really too personal. And
you you're not gonna tell him anything. You're not gonna
be like, uh, you better do this, or how come
you didn't do that? Um, it's like your your best self.
And then Laird's already in an agreement with himself that
(10:01):
he'll he'll be his best self. But people ask me
all the time, like, oh, do you let Laird? I'm like,
Larry's not to be control. Well, it's funny I could say,
on a different path, the same thing about my husband.
And I know, for me personally, because I'm a strong woman,
you know, like you are, But I married someone stronger
than me, and I know that's the only guy that's
(10:22):
going to keep me on my toes. It's the agreement
of without being spoken. I always liken it's like if
you went to went to school and you had a
professor that was so cool and treated you really well,
but you sort of knew that you just weren't going
to mess with them. And I feel like that's such
a better way, where with Laird, I am. I know,
I always say I don't speak to anyone better than
(10:44):
I speak to Layard, because the silent understanding is like
he probably wouldn't really accept anything other than that, and
that isn't with like threats and weirdness. That's just like, hey,
I'd like to live like that, And I think I
have my own visions hopefully where it's like let's let's
try to be up here. Laird calls it the Cold War.
(11:07):
It's like, you know, we're just doing this all the time,
you know, but there's a checks and balance, which somehow
I like myself more when I'm with a person who
helps me be put you know, I'm in my better
self right. And you know the line of of wellness products,
you know is the brand is called Layered right, Yes,
(11:27):
so we have Layered Superfood and we have a fitness
brand called XPT. Yeah, because Laird super Food came from
a habit that Lard was doing in our kitchen and
then two thousand fifteen became a company by accident. And
there's so many of those companies out there, but these
actually taste delicious, like like sometimes I you know, I
I believe the hype, I buy it, and I'm like,
(11:48):
this tastes terrible his food taste. Sometimes I just take
a scoop of the coconut, like that's why my sweet tooth,
and I'm like, all right, that's done. Layerity eats this.
Where where am I abs? Come on? Layard? I tried,
you know, but it's really good. Yeah. Well, we have
a conversation all the time that Laird is so committed
to high level ingredients. I am too, but he's sort
(12:10):
of in one notch up. But I always am the
voice of reason and I'm the I'm like, listen, you,
no one will do anything all the time if it's
if you don't enjoy it. And and on top of it,
the ceremony of what is people's coffee, it's like, you know,
the I think the other thing about that was this.
It's like you saying to people, Hey, if you're gonna
put makeup on, let's figure out a way that we do.
(12:31):
It's sort of the best way to support ourselves in
this way. It's like, if you're already doing this, can
we give you a better option And you don't have
to sacrifice anything. You don't have to be longer in
the gym or you know, somehow eat something or drink something,
you don't enjoy. So that was the thing. It's like,
can we replace one habit with another that might make
it just a little better. And you guys are are
(12:51):
professional athletes and just life athletes. Are you able to
relax and what you eat? Like, can you just say
I'm just gonna eat a sam it today because I
know you're going to burn it off. Not over a
long period of time, No, but I certainly will eat
like if there's a good if we're going to a
good place and they have good pizza, like, why mess around?
I think you know. The thing is for me is
(13:14):
is that if you get to the core of health,
it's even the way you approach all of it is
you know, you can't be fanatical about anything right, And
so I think it's ever you hear a million times
the eight twenty rule. I think pretty much if you're
doing the right things percent of the time, that twenty
isn't gonna work against you. And I live like that
(13:35):
probably just a little more than layered lady. My nature's
he's not emotional about food. Food is fuel for him. Me.
I like, oh, like look toast pizza and things like that.
And also Gabby like being a professional athlete like you
were one of the first, you know, people certainly of
my generation that people knew your name like such an icon.
(13:58):
How did you deal with that? And how is that
different than being a supermodel because you were both well
it was good timing, Bobby, and I don't I don't
think I was ever fooled into thinking it was anything
other than that. And so I had the sport which
grounded me. And I'll tell you really quick story. One
time I was at Albert Watson's studio. You know Albert,
and you know, listen, you're a fortunate person if you
(14:19):
can be in a job with Albert at Albert Watson's
studio and you know, the lunches and the foods all out.
And I was working with a very well known girl
who was extraordinary looking. She You know, sometimes I when
I would go to work, I would see girls that
I I they almost seemed not real, Like they're so beautiful,
You're just like, how is this a real person? Right? Anyway,
(14:39):
we had lunch. This person didn't have an overabundance of
self confidence. You could feel it, you know, kind of
felt like she was limiting what she was eating and
all this Okay, So The next day, I fly to Tallahassee.
I go back to school at Florida State. I have practice.
I go there with my teammates. They're sweaty, their butts
are probably a little too big, maybe a couple of blemishes,
(15:00):
and the robustness of their spirit and their confidence was
was a lot more so. I think being grounded in sports,
you just looked at it like I get to be
I'm really fortunate, Like these people are flying me around
the world and paying me for the way that I look.
It's not a you know, it's not a qualification or
a skill. So I'll just say thanks. And with sport,
(15:23):
it just keeps you really in the earth. So for me,
it was I never I don't think I didn't. I
didn't lose the plot, so to speak. Yeah, and you
were also weren't you the first female athlete to design
a shoe at Nike? Yeah, I wasn't. And actually they
gave me a designer named Tinker Hatfield who was responsible
for all the Jordans, and so you know, I was.
(15:44):
That was also a setup for success. If you're with
a designer that you know is making really cool stuff. Um, yeah, listen,
I'm not gonna lie and you know this because of
your business, a little bit of good fortune and stuff
is you know, you could be good. But if you're
a little earlier, a little late. And I think I
(16:06):
was hit it right, you know there was it was
culturally the right time for them. Do you still like
play volleyball in your spare time? There is no spare time,
and my brain knows what to do. But if I
(16:27):
can't practice, my body so I am so not fun
um when I do that. But I I played until about, um,
i'd say about five years ago. I played, and I
used to only play with with men um because they
sort of you know, get over things quickly. Um, So
I did that, but mostly it's like training work. And
(16:48):
I still have a kid at home, so how old
your your baby? Your youngest one? And yeah, so it's
just you know, she's the last one. So it's kind
of like you know how you get put them in
the launching pad time, so we're sort of have one
more launch um and these are the critical years um
and then uh you know, you never know, but yeah,
(17:09):
I think for me, i'd like to volleyball so much
as a game. It was so fun, but I'd like
to play it at a really high level. I think
I might be too obnoxious to play it like for fun.
But does does? I mean, I'm not asking your age.
I'm sixty five, which kind of blows my mind. I've all,
you know, I am. I'm I'm in my mid sixties,
and I haven't done a thing to my face. I
(17:29):
haven't shot anything. I get Can we talk about I'm
fifty two, so I'm right, I'm might. You know, that's
such an interesting thing. How do you keep it at bay?
Do you think it's love? You know? I, first of all,
I'm genetically lucky. I know that. I know I look
good for my age. But I've kept a clean life,
and so you know, I might sometimes, you know, have
(17:50):
a little extra vodka one night, but I you know,
I'm just I have a very clean lifestyle and for
some reason. I mean, look, there's good lighting and there's
bad lighting. I am now like a TikTok sensation in
my mid fifties, and there's times where I'm like, oh
my god, that light was so bad. I look a
hundred and other times I'm like, wow, I look really good.
But it's not fair to the people that are watching me,
(18:13):
because I'm just really good at looking at good light,
right I find I know the good light, but I
should really post something with bad light so people understand
it's real. And you know, all I have on my
face is literally a touch of some of my miracle
ball I put on my cheeks because my skin is
actually pretty good. But I don't know. I'm going to
(18:34):
ask you the same question. And you live in Hawaii.
I'm out in the Hamptons. So I get sun, like,
I don't know, how do you deal with it? I
wear long sleeves, you know, and I just try to
make the best possible feeling like I want to feel
good in my body. It's not actually how the way
I look, it's how I feel. So how do you
(18:55):
deal with this? Well, I think you're saying something really important.
I think vitality, life force, if you will, is there
map as there? What's magnetic about someone? Um? And so
I think, listen, there are days where you know, you
catch a glimpse in like a rear view mirror of
a car something you're like, ohoa, when did that? You know?
Like certain things, Um, I've always protected myself from the sun.
(19:18):
I grew up in the Caribbean so I've been in
the sun my whole life, and then beach volleyball. I
tuned in early about kind of trying to protect my
skin because a lot of the girls were so uberfit,
but their skin was getting worked very young. So I've
been diligent about that. But I'm a big believer that
you can also take things um, you know, sort of
(19:39):
orally to maybe reinforce your skin a little bit. So
obviously being hydrated, I think omega's some pine bark. There's
some things that go back. What's what's pine bark? Um? Well,
I'm trying to think of the scientific name for it,
but there are supplements that sort of um can give
your skin a little bit of reinforcement. And they say also,
(20:02):
you know things that you want to avoid, like when
you're nursing, like broccoli and things like that, that those
extracts can give you sort of natural some blocks if
you orally take um crociferous type things. So I think
I never, you know, drank, I ate really healthy. I
moved around a lot um. But to your point, I
(20:26):
really believe the number one is your your excitement about life.
So you have things that you even when you have
your children, you had your own business and your own
real estate, and and something about having something you're excited
about that you've got to show up for every day.
You can love your family to the moon and back,
and that's great. But I do think there's something so
(20:47):
powerful for someone, especially a female, to be like, I'm
something other than young and pretty, because that'll that'll kick
your ass in such a way. By the time you
know your forty five, all of a sudden, does that
mean you're less valuable? It's like, well, no, now you
have all this experience, Now you have all these you
know this other stuff to contribute, and so um, I
(21:08):
find that that to be helpful. But yeah, I try
to protect my son, but I mean my my skin
from the sun. But I do pool training, which is
like you're in the sun. Um, But I'm pretty mindful.
I I haven't done anything intense to my face. I
think I've tried botox like two times. I just hated
it and now it's like, all right, So I have
lines in my forehead when rested and moisturized, they don't
(21:32):
look bad at all. Well, that's the thing. People don't
think that they can impact their beauty from the inside out.
And then knowing what works for you, like you say,
with with your skincare, and even how you use makeup,
Like I look like I get very masculine with very
heavy makeup. It's not it is not. It's not a
good look. So I already know less it's going to
(21:54):
be better for me. Um, and I don't overdo it.
That's the other thing I think sometimes like oh I
get a blemmer, you get a line, and then some
people start packing on more stuff and using more things,
which I think make it worse, you know, And my
my big like hint for people when you have those
days or those periods where you look in the mirror
and you're like, don't look good. I just tell people
stop looking, stop looking, go out, go out and exercise,
(22:18):
Go call a friend, go drink more water, just stop microscoping.
And we're you know, we're one of seven sometimes, you know,
like when you get into your head and your own
trip and you think, then you if you get that
space like you're saying, go take a walk, you go,
wait a second, I'm one of seven billion people, Like
do you think anyone really cares about my skin? It's
like so that self important trip of that can really
(22:41):
eat you alive where I heard a great thing. There's
a beautiful book called Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks,
and he talks about fluidity um fluid intelligence and crystallize
intelligence and how if we can learn how to jump
from one to the next as we age. Um, there's
some great satisfact. But he talked about redwood trees being like,
(23:04):
but the roots are only five ft but the only
way that that happens is that they're connected to all
the other roots from the other redwoods. So I think
sometimes getting out of the me all the time except
for you know, check in, how are you really feeling?
Do you have to talk to anyone? Do you need
to correct anything? So you have those check ins. But
(23:25):
then once you get past that, you're like, hey, I'm
just a part of all of this stuff going on.
I think that can be pretty liberating. So what do
you do when you like, I I deal with anxiety,
you know, which I think everyone does, And like, who
do you talk to and what do you do? Well,
I'll tell you. I you know, I'm a I go
I'm like have a stoic philosophy like that, you know,
(23:47):
And of course coming from sports, it's like suck it up,
you know, put your armor on. Things like that. But
as in my adult life and as and as a parent,
what really helped me was I went to a woman
named Byron Katie. She has a program called The Work,
and so it's a lot about self inquiry. So it's like,
as we start the narrative, it's like, here's the tools
to just don't even fight the hook, right. But if
(24:09):
it's it's like a deep feeling, I will like sit
with Laird uh and say, you know, I've been experiencing this,
and I don't wait too long. I think, I try
not to hold it in too long, where you just
put it out there. And then for me that I
think is the alleviator in doing it quicker, sooner than later,
so that it isn't so much bigger this thing that
(24:30):
we make up that's not even usually real most of
the time anyway. Um, And that's very helpful. But I
always say to people, Um, when people talk about meditation
and all these things, I agree with a lot of that.
But every time you're in a shower or in a
car by yourself, check inside, what's how's it going? How
do you feel? Are you frustrated? Are you angry with anyone?
(24:50):
Do you own anyone an apology? Um? Are you dreaming
of making a change or doing something? And I think
if we do that every day, I think it keeps
some of this other the stuff that worries us and
creates anxiety. Um at bay. But the work really helped
me a great deal. UM. There's it has four questions
like is it true? Can you know it to be
(25:12):
true for sure? Who were you when you think those thoughts?
And who would you be without that belief? And then
you can sort of check in with that and pretty
much you can unwind it pretty quickly. So what else
(25:32):
are you working on now? I know you have this podcast?
Is it a newer podcast? How long has it been happen?
I'm probably two years in. I have a t shows.
I used to do another podcast with an author named
Neil Strauss, so UM I talked to scientists and experts
and psychologists and UM I just had Stephen Mitchell and
(25:53):
Rick Rubin who's a music producer on this last podcast,
and we talked about the dow to Ching because Stephen
um had done a version of this book. So I
really enjoy it because maybe, like for you, you experience this.
It's it's sort of forced learning, UM, and it keeps
my mind open um because I think that's it can
(26:15):
be tricky, like, for example, you've had one successful business
that you've moved into another. I think when you've been
at all good at anything, that can really bite you
in the butt if you're not careful because you're like, well,
I know how to do things. It's like, well, yeah,
you that worked then. And now we live in a
new place and it's a new world and people communicate
differently and you're different. And so I think for me
(26:37):
that's been a really great thing, um to be learning.
And also to simplify the information. How do I take
really complicated things and make this achievable for people, um
to say, oh, you know what, this sounds like, I
could do that and use that in my real life.
I'll try to incorporate that and not make it too
heavy and too complicated. Okay, No, I you know you're
(26:59):
the person that I'm gonna call when I'm having like
an anxious thing because I don't want to go into
you know, a shrink. I'm really not good at me meditation.
I'm I'm just not. But sometimes you just need like
you're like a tree, like you're just a solid with
your roots in the ground. And I think that's a
really amazing quality that I you probably got from your parents,
(27:20):
but I think it's, uh, my parents were not really around.
I think I'm having to figure it out my You know,
my dad died when I was five, and my mom
actually took a short hiatus from parenting from two to seven,
So I think it was actually it was a reaction
to to that and then having good adults and support.
(27:40):
There's a great book also, I'll just throw it out
there called Anxiety are X and it's by Dr Kennedy
Russell Kennedy, and um, it's a beautiful book, very simple
and very actionable for people who feel anxiety. Because anxiety, Um,
it's not a feeling, it's a thought. And so what
we ruminate, we're that's the death spiral. So how do
(28:01):
we actually pull it into our body and be like
And everyone feels a different like you say, some people
feel their traps. Me personally, I pack everything in my hips,
like when I armor up, I get tight and here
other people might feel their soul plexus and then going okay,
now it's in my body. How do I make myself
feel calm and good and get it out because when
it stays in the cranium, Uh, it's not so good.
(28:24):
All right, I wrote, I wrote that down. You know,
my mind's in my gut, like we all have it somewhere.
Mine goes right to my gut. It's it's really powerful,
and I think it's also when you can be like there,
it is cool. Cool. So you know, I always want
to ask people about their like things they love besides
your family, Like now it's like just stuff. Do you
(28:44):
have any favorite T shirts? Not that you and I
will share clothing ideas and they are built so different.
Any special Have you found the perfect T shirt? And
have you found any great jeans lately? Okay? You know
I am. I have a thirty six seven inch in teams,
so it's a nightmare. So I wear jeans. There's a
company called mid Heaven that does very long jeans. Frame
(29:05):
actually has a Carly Class model. I don't know if
they still make it. It was very long. Um. I
wear a lot of velvet T shirts. I can't kill
them if I tried. They don't kill um. And they're
long enough in the torso for me. But they're not boxy,
and uh and and any shoe that will fit me
is my favorite exactly twelve. Well, oh my god, eleven
(29:30):
when I was modeling, and then after volleyball and kids
and stuff, I went to twelve. But could you imagine
when I was in fashion, I was like, it was
like the biggest nightmare. I would show up and they'd
be like, Okay, I don't nothing's gonna fit you, you you know,
Oh my god. Yeah. I mean next time I complained
because I have to take a scissors and cut everything
I bring into the house. And I've been wearing like
a little boy's size you know, four T shirt because
(29:54):
it fits my shoulders. And I'm like, anyway, so we
all we all have, you know, the stuff to deal with.
And I think that's the important point, is that when
we can be like, hey, what's weird about me? Is
what's special and cool about me? And yeah, okay, so
you gotta do a little extra work. I'm trying to
find pants long enough or you know, take the hem
off on something if you're shorter. Um, I don't. We're
(30:16):
not that unique in the way that everybody has something. Well,
your next book I think should be titled It's all okay. Honestly,
it's because that's what's coming out of your mouth. Everything's fine,
it's all okay. Well, Bobby, I'm gonna I'll share something
with you because I am very intense. And you know
there's a I read this book, uh that was said.
(30:37):
You know, women biologically are more prone to negative emotion,
which means like worry and stuff like that makes sense right,
based on nature and biology. And my favorite thing that
my husband says to me because he can see when
I'm wound up, like the jawn might flex and the
eyes get, you know, like this, he goes, listen, It's
all gonna be okay, and then he looks at me
and he goes and it is okay. Yeah, my, That's
(31:00):
why I'm with my husband. But I will have a
cocktail at night to kind of make it okay. You
don't have that. Do you like smoke weed? Do you
do anything gummy out of m okay? So what I
do you ever feel like your head sets up like
concrete Sometimes when you're dealing with too many details work
and you start getting like almost fixed, you can feel
(31:21):
like I call it hardhead. So I was micro dosing.
I did micro dose it doesn't get you stony. Okay,
So after I've read Michael Palm's book and a couple
other things, because I'm a square, I was like, you
know what I can I'm open to this. So I
did implement some micro dosing, which helps. It did help,
and you're not like, oh the colors. It's just like
(31:43):
something happens where you get into homeostasis that I felt
was helpful. I could recall better. So I did that.
Um and then um, there have been stop wait why
did you stop? No? No, you just kind of bring
it in and out. You know, it's like three days
a week and then maybe take a break and then
you know, like maybe you start few on in the
heart the helmet come again. So then I'd like, oh,
you know, maybe I'll implement that a little um and
(32:04):
I and listen. I started doing that my fifties and
then um uh and then I have used edibles for
sleep for sure. Yeah. I I cannot do THHC. If
I have even one percent, my mind goes crazy. So
you know, my chiropractor said, some people's chemistry isn't good
for that, and they're better with vodka. Other people's chemistry
(32:27):
is not good for alcohol. Yeah, tequila or vodka either one.
Tequila makes me dance and and makes me like have fun,
and vodka calms me down. My families are you know,
we're Russian Jews, So maybe vodka in the d N
A kill is the only nondepressant um. All right, yeah,
(32:48):
yeah for sure. So where do you get micro dosing?
Don't you have to go to someone because I don't
think in New York and New Jersey it's like readily available.
But now, I mean yes, and I have friends and
you want to do it intelligently and safe. But there
are places now, especially with it being legal in Oregon,
um that you can get it and it's measured out
and there's sort of a clinical aspect to its. All
of a sudden you don't have some weird thing happened.
(33:10):
But I would say with now, with online wink wink, uh,
you can probably get some really good stuff that is
highly measured and really professionally done. Yeah. Well, I'm going
to have to text you later and and and fin
and find your sources. Yeah no, seriously, I I mean,
you know again, I feel comfortable talking about that because
I am such a square um and uh, it just
(33:34):
it was something that was very very positive. But after
I did research and checked out, then I was like, oh, yes, okay,
to let go a little and I and I'm the
person that will jump in and try anything and if
it works, it works, and if it doesn't, I'm like,
all right, it didn't work, So I am open. But
but this podcast is called The Important Thing. So you know,
the last and final question I ask everyone what people
(33:57):
listening now, if they listen to this whole podcast us,
which I know they're going to because people love you,
what is the one piece of advice you have for
anyone listening? According to Gabby Rays, that is the important
thing and will change their life. Well, I think that
the idea of taking care of yourself. And I don't
mean being a professional athlete and having six pack abs.
(34:18):
I mean really taking care of yourself, eating well enough,
moving often enough. But also that the sharp end of
the stick on that is your emotionality. Because you can eat,
I'm gluten free and you know all this other bs
and I monitor my order ring, my heart variability. It's
(34:38):
you have to start first with how can you get
to yourself to a place a perspective where then you
can manage it all. I think it's in reverse. If
we think, oh, I'm as sized too, and I make
this much money, It's like, that isn't for me when
I think about health. But I will say that it is.
The has been the ultimate tool for me to get
(35:00):
that distance from my feeling to my reaction so that
I can navigate everything or try try. And I know
I said that was the last question, but I'm like,
I'm wearing an or ring, I'm monitor my glucose once
I get six pack abs, Like, like, I don't get it.
I'm doing everything. I'm gluten free, you know, I I'm
(35:21):
I'm I dance around gluten, but I'm pretty much gluten free.
I'm like, all right, what else could someone do to
cut the last stuff? Or when you're sixty five years
old and you do drink, do I just get a
hell with it? So I've never had six pack abs.
I'm not going to get them now. Well, okay, so
if you didn't have them at seventeen, genetically, maybe you
(35:41):
don't have them. So the other thing is that's not
the symbol of great health and vitality and longevity. I
don't know where that came in. Now. If we don't
have a lot of excess weight around the mid better
six pack ABS has nothing to do with it having
less weight around the organs. Good ripped here nor there. Um.
(36:02):
So if you feel good, if you can get up
and down off the floor by yourself, if you can
get up and down off the toilet by yourself, if
your grip strength is pretty good, if you've got some flexibility,
something falls, you can pick it up. Um, if you're sleeping,
well it's like you know, it's working out. But I
think we use these things that got set as gauges
for health. Um, and some of it is is not
(36:25):
really is not an equation to to great health. Well
you are. You are a wonderful teacher. And I am
so happy to see you again and I'm so happy
to have you on this podcast and I'm gonna be
following you wherever i can because I want to learn
more you really. I want to say one thing that
people can do right now, free anywhere, and um it
(36:48):
is you hear everyone talking about breath James Nestor's book,
there's a book called the Oxygen Advantage. Excellent if people
unless they're sprinting on a track, Um, everyone should be
only breathing in and up through their nose. If I
could say one thing to people and also see this
breath that's called a vertical breath. You want to have
(37:08):
a horizontal, round, circular breath that goes down first into
the belly. Three parts breath, so belly sort of think
of the upper ribs and then the lats. So it's
deep and slow. So that means you do three to
four inhales and exhales per minute. Most of us are breathing,
especially for mouth breathing, twelve to fifteen breasts per minute.
(37:29):
What happens is we're breathing quicker and shallower. We're in
our chest, we're in our sympathetic are rebbed up or
anxious side. If we can slow that breath down, get
it into the nose, we slow ourselves down. We're more relaxed.
And also then your CEO two rises and the oxygen
that's in your blood has the opportunity to get absorbed
(37:50):
into the cells and tissues, so better for your health.
And if people have small children, make sure they're sleeping
with their mouth closed because the teeth and the way
the jaw developed and then the hun can go to
the roof of the mouth for little kids, better for
their dental health, and for everything else. So if you
want to talk about the ultimate easy thing, yeah, breathing.
So my two takeaways are breathing, I'm never getting six
(38:12):
pack ads, and I'm gonna try microghosting. That's my takeaway.
There you go, Bangu, Well, thank you so nice to
see you. Let me know if you're ever in our
in our coast, I will hello haa, hello, haa, bye bye.
Thanks for listening. Follow us on social at The Important
Things podcast on Instagram, and just Bobby Brown on TikTok.
(38:36):
See you guys next time.
I am really excited to talk to my next guest,
Gabrielle Reeves, who I haven't seen for a while since
she was modeling and I was a makeup artist, and
I've been in awe of how she has led her life.
I have so many questions for her, and I can't
wait to see her. So stay tuned for my conversation
(00:23):
with the one and only Gabrielle Reefs. Hey, how are you? Oh? Yeah,
I'm good. I mean, how many years has it been
since we have seen each other? I don't know how
long it's been since we've seen each other. I actually
remember the first time we worked together, which was either
(00:44):
eight or eighty nine, and it was a studio down
in the village off you know that studio that was like, um,
you'd take an elevator up to like the second or
third floor, and I almost want to I feel like,
was it Jill or somebody? But I remember it so clearly,
(01:04):
just the whole experience. Well, it's so funny. I remember
working with you, and honestly, I just remember how much
we connected, like compared to other models I worked with.
And you know, I don't know why there's not a
whole lot of similarities, but there was just something real
about both of us stuck in the middle of this
(01:25):
fashion industry, and we talked a lot about fitness. We
talked a lot about stupid things like weight. You know,
I'm five foot tall, your six three. Great. Okay, So
we were quite a you know, quite a pair. But
you know, there was a lot of like girl girl talking,
(01:45):
a lot of self esteem stuff. And you know, You've
built your platform on it and I've built mine on it,
so it's pretty cool. Well, and I remember you talking
about that you had started to make up business and
I was like, oh, that is amazing. And uh, it's
funny because because that era produced you know, yourself and
Francois Nors and a few other people. But I remember thinking, wow,
(02:07):
she she really did it, like because you were sort of,
I don't want to say not nonchalant, but it was like,
you know, you didn't make a big thing of it.
And I'd say from that time to really not so
many years after that, I was like, oh, no, Bobby
Brown is kicking some real ass right now. Yeah. So no,
(02:28):
it was quite a journey my first company, you know,
I stayed for twenty two years after I sold it.
So that was a big thing, and I walked away
and I started another makeup company, which I think I
sent you Jones Road. Yeah, I actually bought some of
the products. I saw it, and I was like, because
I do also appreciate UM. I was working with somebody
(02:50):
I'm gonna I don't want to botch Terry's last name
yesterday randomly and you came up. Your name came up.
We were talking about the makeup movement that's so intense
right now and has been intense for a really long time,
and we were I was like, yeah, I was watching
this video and Bobby Brown's like, okay, so now I'm
(03:10):
gonna show you how to contour and then You're like, no,
not you know, and we're talking about UM. And so
for me, your new your new company, UM, your your
Jones company. I just uh, I was like, oh, she's staying.
You know, there's a line that I feel like you're
holding to support people who, um, I don't want to say,
(03:31):
are confused, but maybe just doesn't feel like that comfortable
to get up every day and try to, you know,
put on that quite of an intense makeup protocol right well,
you know, for me, it's makeup and beauty are kind
of intertwined. And really I wear makeup because I want
to look better, I want to feel better, and I
get the most women do that to Most women don't
(03:53):
want to be, you know, out there doing the contour
and all this stuff. So yeah, that's the Jones Road thing.
But it's problems similar for you in the fitness world,
Like you just do this without thinking you're working out,
Like do you do you like? Is it an effort
for you or is it just such part of your life.
(04:15):
I think it's both. I think I think we could
say that about anything that's you know, think about marriage
or parenting or what have you. I think it's the
things that you've come to a piece and a non
emotional reaction to that. There's a level of difficulty to
it UM work, but that there's also sort of an
(04:38):
acceptance to UM two too, that it's important and so
you you can sort of take the emotions out of it.
So no, I mean, yes, it is work. It's not
just like, oh it's fluid and and you're trying to
change it. You know, you're trying to learn UM without
hopping all over the place, right, Like I think growing
(04:58):
in a way that there's still like your consistent thread throughout. Uh.
That always is the balance, especially with something like fitness
where there's trends all the time and such. Well, we
both have pretty long term marriages. I've been married thirty
three years. And how many years you've been married to laird.
I've been married to laird for almost twenty five years together,
(05:19):
thirty three though, that's that's yeah, it is you know,
And yes it is work. I mean, I you know,
it's totally work and it's worth it. And you've got
three girls, yeah, three daughters. Yeah, I got three sons,
so yeah, so you know, and that's joyful and hard
and work and all of those things. So any did
(05:42):
any of your I mean, it's kind of funny because
you have I thought I would only have sons, and
you think a woman who was into makeup would have daughters. No,
but I have daughter in laws, which is a whole Yeah.
I have two out of the three are married to
daughter in laws, and one of them is having a baby. So,
believe it or not, I'm going to be a grandma
in September, which is crazy. Like I just had my
(06:06):
third baby who's now going to be twenty four next week.
But you know, crazy, Thank you. So what advice do
you have for people to have a long term happy marriage?
Oh jeez, well, I think you know, the ways that
it works for everybody is so unique and different. I
do know that it's sort of the individual's responsibility, for
(06:27):
the most part, to make yourself happy. I you know,
I sort of don't think it really is realistic to
look to our partners, or even our children for that matter,
to kind of make us happy or fulfill something that
maybe we need separately from them. I think that there's
a lot of um, deep meaning and connection when you're
(06:48):
when you're in a relationship and when you have children.
But I don't. But there's also a part of us,
all of us that we it's a it's a something
we've got to satisfy ourselves. Um. And I think the
idea of growing each person wanting to do that. I
I think it would be really hard if Laird was like,
you know, Gabby, you should read more and open up
(07:09):
your mind. I think that would be hard. But if
it if it's sort of like your values are similar enough,
even though you can be incredibly different. UM. I have
that in my relationship my husband and I are. From
the outside, everyone thinks, oh, there's probably they're so similar.
We're very, very different. But I think our core values
are are similar, and and you know, maybe giving it
(07:29):
one real bumpy road to go through and seeing if
you don't just bail like I had, you know, we
had I'd say two kind of moments in our marriage
where could have easily been like all right, that was cool, thanks,
and just sometimes good going through one and seeing that, oh,
not only is it possible, because that's that's the other
(07:51):
thing you've experienced, this where I think maybe couples look
at each other and they think, today, wow, the love
is you know, different, but that you can just get
through it and then the love can return back in
all the ways, romantically, sexually, in all these ways that
you thought maybe you couldn't. So I think it's it's
(08:12):
also kind of weathering that what is lad like? I've
only seen him, you know, on on interviews, like what
like how would you describe him? Besides like, I don't
even know if I'd be able to breathe if I
saw him in person. He's so gorgeous, So like, what
is he like? He's like a caged animal? Bobby. He's
like the most loving and attentive partner. Um, but he is.
(08:34):
He's never really mellow. He's so intense, like you could
be talking about how something is built, like a desk,
like everything. He is so engaged, which at times can
be Um. You know. It's like as his partner, I'm like,
we choose, do you want somebody who's apathetic about everything
or would you rather have someone who's like really curious
(08:55):
and serious and like you know in there. Um and
he is has a relationship with nature that makes it
really hard for him at times, and I feel for him,
but it's also again connected to all the things, all
the things I really love about him. Um and he's
you know, he had a really good mom that he
admired a lot, and so it's interesting, you know, being
(09:17):
surrounded by women, he's you know, has this sort of
one level of I call it true masculinity. I think
masculinity has gotten a bad rap because I feel like
true masculinity is so beautiful. It's it's helpful, it's protective,
it's honorable, it's all these things. It's strong. It's like,
so Laird has that um and uh yeah, but you
(09:40):
you know, you can't you have to you you have
to be a little ninja to be with Laird, Like
you have to not take anything really too personal. And
you you're not gonna tell him anything. You're not gonna
be like, uh, you better do this, or how come
you didn't do that? Um, it's like your your best self.
And then Laird's already in an agreement with himself that
(10:01):
he'll he'll be his best self. But people ask me
all the time, like, oh, do you let Laird? I'm like,
Larry's not to be control. Well, it's funny I could say,
on a different path, the same thing about my husband.
And I know, for me personally, because I'm a strong woman,
you know, like you are, But I married someone stronger
than me, and I know that's the only guy that's
(10:22):
going to keep me on my toes. It's the agreement
of without being spoken. I always liken it's like if
you went to went to school and you had a
professor that was so cool and treated you really well,
but you sort of knew that you just weren't going
to mess with them. And I feel like that's such
a better way, where with Laird, I am. I know,
I always say I don't speak to anyone better than
(10:44):
I speak to Layard, because the silent understanding is like
he probably wouldn't really accept anything other than that, and
that isn't with like threats and weirdness. That's just like, hey,
I'd like to live like that, And I think I
have my own visions hopefully where it's like let's let's
try to be up here. Laird calls it the Cold War.
(11:07):
It's like, you know, we're just doing this all the time,
you know, but there's a checks and balance, which somehow
I like myself more when I'm with a person who
helps me be put you know, I'm in my better
self right. And you know the line of of wellness products,
you know is the brand is called Layered right, Yes,
(11:27):
so we have Layered Superfood and we have a fitness
brand called XPT. Yeah, because Laird super Food came from
a habit that Lard was doing in our kitchen and
then two thousand fifteen became a company by accident. And
there's so many of those companies out there, but these
actually taste delicious, like like sometimes I you know, I
I believe the hype, I buy it, and I'm like,
(11:48):
this tastes terrible his food taste. Sometimes I just take
a scoop of the coconut, like that's why my sweet tooth,
and I'm like, all right, that's done. Layerity eats this.
Where where am I abs? Come on? Layard? I tried,
you know, but it's really good. Yeah. Well, we have
a conversation all the time that Laird is so committed
to high level ingredients. I am too, but he's sort
(12:10):
of in one notch up. But I always am the
voice of reason and I'm the I'm like, listen, you,
no one will do anything all the time if it's
if you don't enjoy it. And and on top of it,
the ceremony of what is people's coffee, it's like, you know,
the I think the other thing about that was this.
It's like you saying to people, Hey, if you're gonna
put makeup on, let's figure out a way that we do.
(12:31):
It's sort of the best way to support ourselves in
this way. It's like, if you're already doing this, can
we give you a better option And you don't have
to sacrifice anything. You don't have to be longer in
the gym or you know, somehow eat something or drink something,
you don't enjoy. So that was the thing. It's like,
can we replace one habit with another that might make
it just a little better. And you guys are are
(12:51):
professional athletes and just life athletes. Are you able to
relax and what you eat? Like, can you just say
I'm just gonna eat a sam it today because I
know you're going to burn it off. Not over a
long period of time, No, but I certainly will eat
like if there's a good if we're going to a
good place and they have good pizza, like, why mess around?
I think you know. The thing is for me is
(13:14):
is that if you get to the core of health,
it's even the way you approach all of it is
you know, you can't be fanatical about anything right, And
so I think it's ever you hear a million times
the eight twenty rule. I think pretty much if you're
doing the right things percent of the time, that twenty
isn't gonna work against you. And I live like that
(13:35):
probably just a little more than layered lady. My nature's
he's not emotional about food. Food is fuel for him. Me.
I like, oh, like look toast pizza and things like that.
And also Gabby like being a professional athlete like you
were one of the first, you know, people certainly of
my generation that people knew your name like such an icon.
(13:58):
How did you deal with that? And how is that
different than being a supermodel because you were both well
it was good timing, Bobby, and I don't I don't
think I was ever fooled into thinking it was anything
other than that. And so I had the sport which
grounded me. And I'll tell you really quick story. One
time I was at Albert Watson's studio. You know Albert,
and you know, listen, you're a fortunate person if you
(14:19):
can be in a job with Albert at Albert Watson's
studio and you know, the lunches and the foods all out.
And I was working with a very well known girl
who was extraordinary looking. She You know, sometimes I when
I would go to work, I would see girls that
I I they almost seemed not real, Like they're so beautiful,
You're just like, how is this a real person? Right? Anyway,
(14:39):
we had lunch. This person didn't have an overabundance of
self confidence. You could feel it, you know, kind of
felt like she was limiting what she was eating and
all this Okay, So The next day, I fly to Tallahassee.
I go back to school at Florida State. I have practice.
I go there with my teammates. They're sweaty, their butts
are probably a little too big, maybe a couple of blemishes,
(15:00):
and the robustness of their spirit and their confidence was
was a lot more so. I think being grounded in sports,
you just looked at it like I get to be
I'm really fortunate, Like these people are flying me around
the world and paying me for the way that I look.
It's not a you know, it's not a qualification or
a skill. So I'll just say thanks. And with sport,
(15:23):
it just keeps you really in the earth. So for me,
it was I never I don't think I didn't. I
didn't lose the plot, so to speak. Yeah, and you
were also weren't you the first female athlete to design
a shoe at Nike? Yeah, I wasn't. And actually they
gave me a designer named Tinker Hatfield who was responsible
for all the Jordans, and so you know, I was.
(15:44):
That was also a setup for success. If you're with
a designer that you know is making really cool stuff. Um, yeah, listen,
I'm not gonna lie and you know this because of
your business, a little bit of good fortune and stuff
is you know, you could be good. But if you're
a little earlier, a little late. And I think I
(16:06):
was hit it right, you know there was it was
culturally the right time for them. Do you still like
play volleyball in your spare time? There is no spare time,
and my brain knows what to do. But if I
(16:27):
can't practice, my body so I am so not fun
um when I do that. But I I played until about, um,
i'd say about five years ago. I played, and I
used to only play with with men um because they
sort of you know, get over things quickly. Um, So
I did that, but mostly it's like training work. And
(16:48):
I still have a kid at home, so how old
your your baby? Your youngest one? And yeah, so it's
just you know, she's the last one. So it's kind
of like you know how you get put them in
the launching pad time, so we're sort of have one
more launch um and these are the critical years um
and then uh you know, you never know, but yeah,
(17:09):
I think for me, i'd like to volleyball so much
as a game. It was so fun, but I'd like
to play it at a really high level. I think
I might be too obnoxious to play it like for fun.
But does does? I mean, I'm not asking your age.
I'm sixty five, which kind of blows my mind. I've all,
you know, I am. I'm I'm in my mid sixties,
and I haven't done a thing to my face. I
(17:29):
haven't shot anything. I get Can we talk about I'm
fifty two, so I'm right, I'm might. You know, that's
such an interesting thing. How do you keep it at bay?
Do you think it's love? You know? I, first of all,
I'm genetically lucky. I know that. I know I look
good for my age. But I've kept a clean life,
and so you know, I might sometimes, you know, have
(17:50):
a little extra vodka one night, but I you know,
I'm just I have a very clean lifestyle and for
some reason. I mean, look, there's good lighting and there's
bad lighting. I am now like a TikTok sensation in
my mid fifties, and there's times where I'm like, oh
my god, that light was so bad. I look a
hundred and other times I'm like, wow, I look really good.
But it's not fair to the people that are watching me,
(18:13):
because I'm just really good at looking at good light,
right I find I know the good light, but I
should really post something with bad light so people understand
it's real. And you know, all I have on my
face is literally a touch of some of my miracle
ball I put on my cheeks because my skin is
actually pretty good. But I don't know. I'm going to
(18:34):
ask you the same question. And you live in Hawaii.
I'm out in the Hamptons. So I get sun, like,
I don't know, how do you deal with it? I
wear long sleeves, you know, and I just try to
make the best possible feeling like I want to feel
good in my body. It's not actually how the way
I look, it's how I feel. So how do you
(18:55):
deal with this? Well, I think you're saying something really important.
I think vitality, life force, if you will, is there
map as there? What's magnetic about someone? Um? And so
I think, listen, there are days where you know, you
catch a glimpse in like a rear view mirror of
a car something you're like, ohoa, when did that? You know?
Like certain things, Um, I've always protected myself from the sun.
(19:18):
I grew up in the Caribbean so I've been in
the sun my whole life, and then beach volleyball. I
tuned in early about kind of trying to protect my
skin because a lot of the girls were so uberfit,
but their skin was getting worked very young. So I've
been diligent about that. But I'm a big believer that
you can also take things um, you know, sort of
(19:39):
orally to maybe reinforce your skin a little bit. So
obviously being hydrated, I think omega's some pine bark. There's
some things that go back. What's what's pine bark? Um? Well,
I'm trying to think of the scientific name for it,
but there are supplements that sort of um can give
your skin a little bit of reinforcement. And they say also,
(20:02):
you know things that you want to avoid, like when
you're nursing, like broccoli and things like that, that those
extracts can give you sort of natural some blocks if
you orally take um crociferous type things. So I think
I never, you know, drank, I ate really healthy. I
moved around a lot um. But to your point, I
(20:26):
really believe the number one is your your excitement about life.
So you have things that you even when you have
your children, you had your own business and your own
real estate, and and something about having something you're excited
about that you've got to show up for every day.
You can love your family to the moon and back,
and that's great. But I do think there's something so
(20:47):
powerful for someone, especially a female, to be like, I'm
something other than young and pretty, because that'll that'll kick
your ass in such a way. By the time you
know your forty five, all of a sudden, does that
mean you're less valuable? It's like, well, no, now you
have all this experience, Now you have all these you
know this other stuff to contribute, and so um, I
(21:08):
find that that to be helpful. But yeah, I try
to protect my son, but I mean my my skin
from the sun. But I do pool training, which is
like you're in the sun. Um, But I'm pretty mindful.
I I haven't done anything intense to my face. I
think I've tried botox like two times. I just hated
it and now it's like, all right, So I have
lines in my forehead when rested and moisturized, they don't
(21:32):
look bad at all. Well, that's the thing. People don't
think that they can impact their beauty from the inside out.
And then knowing what works for you, like you say,
with with your skincare, and even how you use makeup,
Like I look like I get very masculine with very
heavy makeup. It's not it is not. It's not a
good look. So I already know less it's going to
(21:54):
be better for me. Um, and I don't overdo it.
That's the other thing I think sometimes like oh I
get a blemmer, you get a line, and then some
people start packing on more stuff and using more things,
which I think make it worse, you know, And my
my big like hint for people when you have those
days or those periods where you look in the mirror
and you're like, don't look good. I just tell people
stop looking, stop looking, go out, go out and exercise,
(22:18):
Go call a friend, go drink more water, just stop microscoping.
And we're you know, we're one of seven sometimes, you know,
like when you get into your head and your own
trip and you think, then you if you get that
space like you're saying, go take a walk, you go,
wait a second, I'm one of seven billion people, Like
do you think anyone really cares about my skin? It's
like so that self important trip of that can really
(22:41):
eat you alive where I heard a great thing. There's
a beautiful book called Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks,
and he talks about fluidity um fluid intelligence and crystallize
intelligence and how if we can learn how to jump
from one to the next as we age. Um, there's
some great satisfact. But he talked about redwood trees being like,
(23:04):
but the roots are only five ft but the only
way that that happens is that they're connected to all
the other roots from the other redwoods. So I think
sometimes getting out of the me all the time except
for you know, check in, how are you really feeling?
Do you have to talk to anyone? Do you need
to correct anything? So you have those check ins. But
(23:25):
then once you get past that, you're like, hey, I'm
just a part of all of this stuff going on.
I think that can be pretty liberating. So what do
you do when you like, I I deal with anxiety,
you know, which I think everyone does, And like, who
do you talk to and what do you do? Well,
I'll tell you. I you know, I'm a I go
I'm like have a stoic philosophy like that, you know,
(23:47):
And of course coming from sports, it's like suck it up,
you know, put your armor on. Things like that. But
as in my adult life and as and as a parent,
what really helped me was I went to a woman
named Byron Katie. She has a program called The Work,
and so it's a lot about self inquiry. So it's like,
as we start the narrative, it's like, here's the tools
to just don't even fight the hook, right. But if
(24:09):
it's it's like a deep feeling, I will like sit
with Laird uh and say, you know, I've been experiencing this,
and I don't wait too long. I think, I try
not to hold it in too long, where you just
put it out there. And then for me that I
think is the alleviator in doing it quicker, sooner than later,
so that it isn't so much bigger this thing that
(24:30):
we make up that's not even usually real most of
the time anyway. Um, And that's very helpful. But I
always say to people, Um, when people talk about meditation
and all these things, I agree with a lot of that.
But every time you're in a shower or in a
car by yourself, check inside, what's how's it going? How
do you feel? Are you frustrated? Are you angry with anyone?
(24:50):
Do you own anyone an apology? Um? Are you dreaming
of making a change or doing something? And I think
if we do that every day, I think it keeps
some of this other the stuff that worries us and
creates anxiety. Um at bay. But the work really helped
me a great deal. UM. There's it has four questions
like is it true? Can you know it to be
(25:12):
true for sure? Who were you when you think those thoughts?
And who would you be without that belief? And then
you can sort of check in with that and pretty
much you can unwind it pretty quickly. So what else
(25:32):
are you working on now? I know you have this podcast?
Is it a newer podcast? How long has it been happen?
I'm probably two years in. I have a t shows.
I used to do another podcast with an author named
Neil Strauss, so UM I talked to scientists and experts
and psychologists and UM I just had Stephen Mitchell and
(25:53):
Rick Rubin who's a music producer on this last podcast,
and we talked about the dow to Ching because Stephen
um had done a version of this book. So I
really enjoy it because maybe, like for you, you experience this.
It's it's sort of forced learning, UM, and it keeps
my mind open um because I think that's it can
(26:15):
be tricky, like, for example, you've had one successful business
that you've moved into another. I think when you've been
at all good at anything, that can really bite you
in the butt if you're not careful because you're like, well,
I know how to do things. It's like, well, yeah,
you that worked then. And now we live in a
new place and it's a new world and people communicate
differently and you're different. And so I think for me
(26:37):
that's been a really great thing, um to be learning.
And also to simplify the information. How do I take
really complicated things and make this achievable for people, um
to say, oh, you know what, this sounds like, I
could do that and use that in my real life.
I'll try to incorporate that and not make it too
heavy and too complicated. Okay, No, I you know you're
(26:59):
the person that I'm gonna call when I'm having like
an anxious thing because I don't want to go into
you know, a shrink. I'm really not good at me meditation.
I'm I'm just not. But sometimes you just need like
you're like a tree, like you're just a solid with
your roots in the ground. And I think that's a
really amazing quality that I you probably got from your parents,
(27:20):
but I think it's, uh, my parents were not really around.
I think I'm having to figure it out my You know,
my dad died when I was five, and my mom
actually took a short hiatus from parenting from two to seven,
So I think it was actually it was a reaction
to to that and then having good adults and support.
(27:40):
There's a great book also, I'll just throw it out
there called Anxiety are X and it's by Dr Kennedy
Russell Kennedy, and um, it's a beautiful book, very simple
and very actionable for people who feel anxiety. Because anxiety, Um,
it's not a feeling, it's a thought. And so what
we ruminate, we're that's the death spiral. So how do
(28:01):
we actually pull it into our body and be like
And everyone feels a different like you say, some people
feel their traps. Me personally, I pack everything in my hips,
like when I armor up, I get tight and here
other people might feel their soul plexus and then going okay,
now it's in my body. How do I make myself
feel calm and good and get it out because when
it stays in the cranium, Uh, it's not so good.
(28:24):
All right, I wrote, I wrote that down. You know,
my mind's in my gut, like we all have it somewhere.
Mine goes right to my gut. It's it's really powerful,
and I think it's also when you can be like there,
it is cool. Cool. So you know, I always want
to ask people about their like things they love besides
your family, Like now it's like just stuff. Do you
(28:44):
have any favorite T shirts? Not that you and I
will share clothing ideas and they are built so different.
Any special Have you found the perfect T shirt? And
have you found any great jeans lately? Okay? You know
I am. I have a thirty six seven inch in teams,
so it's a nightmare. So I wear jeans. There's a
company called mid Heaven that does very long jeans. Frame
(29:05):
actually has a Carly Class model. I don't know if
they still make it. It was very long. Um. I
wear a lot of velvet T shirts. I can't kill
them if I tried. They don't kill um. And they're
long enough in the torso for me. But they're not boxy,
and uh and and any shoe that will fit me
is my favorite exactly twelve. Well, oh my god, eleven
(29:30):
when I was modeling, and then after volleyball and kids
and stuff, I went to twelve. But could you imagine
when I was in fashion, I was like, it was
like the biggest nightmare. I would show up and they'd
be like, Okay, I don't nothing's gonna fit you, you you know,
Oh my god. Yeah. I mean next time I complained
because I have to take a scissors and cut everything
I bring into the house. And I've been wearing like
a little boy's size you know, four T shirt because
(29:54):
it fits my shoulders. And I'm like, anyway, so we
all we all have, you know, the stuff to deal with.
And I think that's the important point, is that when
we can be like, hey, what's weird about me? Is
what's special and cool about me? And yeah, okay, so
you gotta do a little extra work. I'm trying to
find pants long enough or you know, take the hem
off on something if you're shorter. Um, I don't. We're
(30:16):
not that unique in the way that everybody has something. Well,
your next book I think should be titled It's all okay. Honestly,
it's because that's what's coming out of your mouth. Everything's fine,
it's all okay. Well, Bobby, I'm gonna I'll share something
with you because I am very intense. And you know
there's a I read this book, uh that was said.
(30:37):
You know, women biologically are more prone to negative emotion,
which means like worry and stuff like that makes sense right,
based on nature and biology. And my favorite thing that
my husband says to me because he can see when
I'm wound up, like the jawn might flex and the
eyes get, you know, like this, he goes, listen, It's
all gonna be okay, and then he looks at me
and he goes and it is okay. Yeah, my, That's
(31:00):
why I'm with my husband. But I will have a
cocktail at night to kind of make it okay. You
don't have that. Do you like smoke weed? Do you
do anything gummy out of m okay? So what I
do you ever feel like your head sets up like
concrete Sometimes when you're dealing with too many details work
and you start getting like almost fixed, you can feel
(31:21):
like I call it hardhead. So I was micro dosing.
I did micro dose it doesn't get you stony. Okay,
So after I've read Michael Palm's book and a couple
other things, because I'm a square, I was like, you
know what I can I'm open to this. So I
did implement some micro dosing, which helps. It did help,
and you're not like, oh the colors. It's just like
(31:43):
something happens where you get into homeostasis that I felt
was helpful. I could recall better. So I did that.
Um and then um, there have been stop wait why
did you stop? No? No, you just kind of bring
it in and out. You know, it's like three days
a week and then maybe take a break and then
you know, like maybe you start few on in the
heart the helmet come again. So then I'd like, oh,
you know, maybe I'll implement that a little um and
(32:04):
I and listen. I started doing that my fifties and
then um uh and then I have used edibles for
sleep for sure. Yeah. I I cannot do THHC. If
I have even one percent, my mind goes crazy. So
you know, my chiropractor said, some people's chemistry isn't good
for that, and they're better with vodka. Other people's chemistry
(32:27):
is not good for alcohol. Yeah, tequila or vodka either one.
Tequila makes me dance and and makes me like have fun,
and vodka calms me down. My families are you know,
we're Russian Jews, So maybe vodka in the d N
A kill is the only nondepressant um. All right, yeah,
(32:48):
yeah for sure. So where do you get micro dosing?
Don't you have to go to someone because I don't
think in New York and New Jersey it's like readily available.
But now, I mean yes, and I have friends and
you want to do it intelligently and safe. But there
are places now, especially with it being legal in Oregon,
um that you can get it and it's measured out
and there's sort of a clinical aspect to its. All
of a sudden you don't have some weird thing happened.
(33:10):
But I would say with now, with online wink wink, uh,
you can probably get some really good stuff that is
highly measured and really professionally done. Yeah. Well, I'm going
to have to text you later and and and fin
and find your sources. Yeah no, seriously, I I mean,
you know again, I feel comfortable talking about that because
I am such a square um and uh, it just
(33:34):
it was something that was very very positive. But after
I did research and checked out, then I was like, oh, yes, okay,
to let go a little and I and I'm the
person that will jump in and try anything and if
it works, it works, and if it doesn't, I'm like,
all right, it didn't work, So I am open. But
but this podcast is called The Important Thing. So you know,
the last and final question I ask everyone what people
(33:57):
listening now, if they listen to this whole podcast us,
which I know they're going to because people love you,
what is the one piece of advice you have for
anyone listening? According to Gabby Rays, that is the important
thing and will change their life. Well, I think that
the idea of taking care of yourself. And I don't
mean being a professional athlete and having six pack abs.
(34:18):
I mean really taking care of yourself, eating well enough,
moving often enough. But also that the sharp end of
the stick on that is your emotionality. Because you can eat,
I'm gluten free and you know all this other bs
and I monitor my order ring, my heart variability. It's
(34:38):
you have to start first with how can you get
to yourself to a place a perspective where then you
can manage it all. I think it's in reverse. If
we think, oh, I'm as sized too, and I make
this much money, It's like, that isn't for me when
I think about health. But I will say that it is.
The has been the ultimate tool for me to get
(35:00):
that distance from my feeling to my reaction so that
I can navigate everything or try try. And I know
I said that was the last question, but I'm like,
I'm wearing an or ring, I'm monitor my glucose once
I get six pack abs, Like, like, I don't get it.
I'm doing everything. I'm gluten free, you know, I I'm
(35:21):
I'm I dance around gluten, but I'm pretty much gluten free.
I'm like, all right, what else could someone do to
cut the last stuff? Or when you're sixty five years
old and you do drink, do I just get a
hell with it? So I've never had six pack abs.
I'm not going to get them now. Well, okay, so
if you didn't have them at seventeen, genetically, maybe you
(35:41):
don't have them. So the other thing is that's not
the symbol of great health and vitality and longevity. I
don't know where that came in. Now. If we don't
have a lot of excess weight around the mid better
six pack ABS has nothing to do with it having
less weight around the organs. Good ripped here nor there. Um.
(36:02):
So if you feel good, if you can get up
and down off the floor by yourself, if you can
get up and down off the toilet by yourself, if
your grip strength is pretty good, if you've got some flexibility,
something falls, you can pick it up. Um, if you're sleeping,
well it's like you know, it's working out. But I
think we use these things that got set as gauges
for health. Um, and some of it is is not
(36:25):
really is not an equation to to great health. Well
you are. You are a wonderful teacher. And I am
so happy to see you again and I'm so happy
to have you on this podcast and I'm gonna be
following you wherever i can because I want to learn
more you really. I want to say one thing that
people can do right now, free anywhere, and um it
(36:48):
is you hear everyone talking about breath James Nestor's book,
there's a book called the Oxygen Advantage. Excellent if people
unless they're sprinting on a track, Um, everyone should be
only breathing in and up through their nose. If I
could say one thing to people and also see this
breath that's called a vertical breath. You want to have
(37:08):
a horizontal, round, circular breath that goes down first into
the belly. Three parts breath, so belly sort of think
of the upper ribs and then the lats. So it's
deep and slow. So that means you do three to
four inhales and exhales per minute. Most of us are breathing,
especially for mouth breathing, twelve to fifteen breasts per minute.
(37:29):
What happens is we're breathing quicker and shallower. We're in
our chest, we're in our sympathetic are rebbed up or
anxious side. If we can slow that breath down, get
it into the nose, we slow ourselves down. We're more relaxed.
And also then your CEO two rises and the oxygen
that's in your blood has the opportunity to get absorbed
(37:50):
into the cells and tissues, so better for your health.
And if people have small children, make sure they're sleeping
with their mouth closed because the teeth and the way
the jaw developed and then the hun can go to
the roof of the mouth for little kids, better for
their dental health, and for everything else. So if you
want to talk about the ultimate easy thing, yeah, breathing.
So my two takeaways are breathing, I'm never getting six
(38:12):
pack ads, and I'm gonna try microghosting. That's my takeaway.
There you go, Bangu, Well, thank you so nice to
see you. Let me know if you're ever in our
in our coast, I will hello haa, hello, haa, bye bye.
Thanks for listening. Follow us on social at The Important
Things podcast on Instagram, and just Bobby Brown on TikTok.
(38:36):
See you guys next time.
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